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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

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babiesdreams · 3 years

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The mirror +18 Doyoung Hogwarts au Part 2 This 2 fics are important. Really, read them if you wanna keep up w/ everything

Part 1 is in here (For context). Alsooo, as I said in the first part, I do not stand by what the Harry Potter creator says/thinks about the trans community. Don’t hate on trans people, trans lives matter.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: sexual content, fem1 reader

It’s been weeks and you were really dying to know what Doyoung saw on the reflection of the mirror, but he always refuses to tell you. At this point you really believe it must be something really embarrassing, since he wasn’t talking about it.

Your best friend, Donghyuck, has been telling you how you shouldn’t trust him. The Gryffindor boy always hated on Slytherins and Doyoung always got on his nerves. The two of them were constantly fighting about completely unimportant things.

“I’m sure he saw your dead body” Haechan says with a creepy tone. “For god’s sake Donghyuck, he’s not the devil. He’s just a student” He chuckles “You know who else was just a student. Yes, you got it. Tom Riddle” He says in an ironic tone that really gets on your nerves. “He doesn’t want me dead okay?” You say angrily.

“Who wants you dead?” Doyoung says from behind of you. “What did you see in the mirror?” Haechan says getting closer to him, trying to intimidate him, but Doyoung’s eyes are only looking at you with a serious yet hurted expression. “You told him?” He says slowly. “I-I didn’t mean to-” You stutter, trying to explain yourself but he just furrows his brows and walks away, completely furious.

“Fight me you stupid” Haechan shouts at him but he doesn’t seem to care as much, his body turns back, looking at the Gryffindor boy and he simply says “Aqua eructo” Pointing his wand at the boy. Inmediately a jet of water emerges from the tip of his wand, wettening Haechan’s body.

“See? The devil” Haechan whispers once he’s gone. You hit his arm, completely mad at him, but also wasn’t all the fault on yours? Weren’t you the one who told him about that personal and intimate moment?

“I gotta go” You say, holding tears from falling down your cheeks. You get to the girls bathroom, to hide from everyone around. Your tears quickly start floading, in between loud whines. Moaning myrtle’s ghost starts talking to you instantly almost like tears and cries called her soul everytime.

“Who made you this sad?” She coos at you. You look at her, kind of disgusted, knowing how annoying she could get sometimes. “I don’t wanna talk” You simply whisper. “It was a boy right? Boys are so cruel” She says crying out loud. You look at her fiercely and shout “GO”

She shakes at the fierce and scary reaction. “Leave me alone” You scream at her. She ends up leaving with loud cries that get to your mind, making it hurt like crazy. Gosh you hated that annoying ghost.

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You’ve been trying to apologize to Doyoung for weeks in different ways, but he always found a way out, not even wanting to look into your eyes. So you decided to go with the harsh way. “Petrificus totalus” You say pointing at Doyoung’s figure.

His body petrifies under the effect of the spell. His expression turns into an angry one before it gets frozen. His body surprisingly mantains the balance, which is rare on victims under this spell.

You start off explaining yourself. “I wasn’t conscious of how much that moment meant for you. I really thought you would talk about it with your friends too. I just... He’s my bestfriend, and I know he can get really annoying sometimes, but he’s a good guy. He was just scared, since you were a Slytherin, and he doesn’t really trusts Slytherins... I’m so sorry Doyoung. I should hae never done that, or even pressure you to tell me. I just don’t wanna lose you. I have been so afraid of losing you this past weeks. I had to petrify you so that you would listen” You say, as tears start appearing in your shiny eyes.

“I love you Doyoung. And It fucking hurts okay? I don’t know what to say or do to make you stay. But if I can do something, anything, please tell me... I really can’t imagine my life without you” You cry out, looking at his petrified angry expression. “Renervate” You finally say pointing at him with your wand. His body slowly returns to its natural form.

His expression in no longer angry but sad. “You can do whatever you want. I just wanted to tell you” You say as you turn your back to him, wanting y¡to leave the room. Now filled with embarrasing moments for you. “I wasn’t mad” He says, stopping your steps. “I was just hurted. But you couldn’t know why. You don’t know what I saw” He explains.

But your tears don’t stop falling, His words wouldn’t stop your mind from blaming your actions. It wasn’t your fault? Yeah sure. You couldn’t know? Why would that even matter? You revealed an intimate moment between you two without his consent.

“Are you listening?” The boy says worriedly. “You deserve to be mad at me” You say controlling the tone of your breathy voice. “I’m not mad” He shouts “I don’t care” You answer, also screaming. “You should be mad. You should be hating me. Why aren’t you?” You shout at him and he looks at you with a serious gaze. “Because I love you”

His words replay in your mind, like something that you needed to hear, yet you were to scared about. “You want to know what I saw in the mirror?” He says, almost tearing up, but you shake your head. “It doesn’t matter anymore” you whisper as your lips get closer to his. Your lips collide together in a explosion of feelings.

“I missed you” He says under his breath. “Me too” You simply reply.

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It’s been a couple of hours since Doyoung forgave you and your heart was already fluttering around. His arm pulls you into a room, an empty room, and instantly everything that happened that night replays on your head.

Doyoung’s lips are leaving wet marks on your neck, making your body shake due to the pleassure. “Let’s take it slow this time” You whisper at him and he nods. His black hair really looks great with the rooms lighting. His dark chocolate eyes are fixed on your lips, your soft and moist lips.

His thumb caress it softly as if redrawing them. They tear apart slightly, leaving a gap in between your top and your bottom lip. “You look perfect” He says looking directly at your lips. “Stay by my side” He whispers in your ear and you simply nod.

His thumb slowly enters your mouth, getting wet with your saliva as it does. He’s completely focused on fucking your mouth with his fingers in a very sexual way that he forgets about everything else. Your mind is also focused on the slow movements of his finger passing through your wet lips over and over again. Your tongue moves slowly, caressing the tip of his finger as he keeps inserting it in.

You swear you could just have cum right there by the mere actions of a finger in your mouth, which was quite embarrassing. The way he moves tho... He doesn’t need a spell to control you, his words are more than enough. His free hand finally travels along your curves, The way his fingertips brush your skin makes you shake slightly, in anticipation.

He reaches your cunt, drawing a straight line through your clothed folds. His thumb is fully inside of your mouth, not moving now. His lips get close to your neck, pressing a soft kiss on it “I love you” He whispers against your skin before his tongue licks it off slowly. “I fucking love you” He repeats and you can’t contain yourself from humming against his thumb.

He chuckles, knowing exactly what you wanted to say, and keeps going. His tongue getting dangerously close to your breasts. Your hands fastly remove your clothes from his way, wearing only your underwear now. “Good girl” He growls against your collarbone. He licks his way down until he reaches the limit of your bra.

As if reading his mind you unclip it, letting it fall down right after. His lips trap your left nipples, sucking it in slowly. His teeth slightly caress your skin as he dows, making you gasp. His lips slowly get away from your chest, making your nipple slide out. He then straight up bites the sensitive skin. His teeth are gentle tho, only making you feel a slight hint of pain in between all the pleasure.

His hand is still on your cunt, drawing circles around your clothed clit, making your panties completely wet and uncomfortable to wear. If his thumb wasn’t on your mouth you’ll be moaning out loud, letting the whole school know just how good he’s fucking you. But instead you’re only able to hum around his wet digit.

His fingers slide your panties down, letting them fall to the ground, the sensation of the cold air and the relief of not having a wet spot brushing your cunt is absolutely perfect. You don’t have much time to think about it tho, because his fingers quickly enter your dripping wet pussy, slowly yet deeply.

You wanna scream his name so that he knows just how much you’re enjoying it, but it doesn’t seem to be needed by him. He can tell just how much you’re enjoying it purely based on the wet fluids coming out of your cunt.

His mouth finally atacks the other nipple, that was completely abandoned. His lips repeat the actions he previously did with your other nipple. You let out a whimp around his thumb, which he gets out of your mouth, leaving a wet trail of saliva connecting his digit to your lips. It’s a split second though, just before he gets his index and middle finger inside, filling your mouth again.

You hum in protest but he doesn’t really listen. His fingers get faster inside of you, curving themselves as they do, instantly making your body shake out of pleassure. His actions come to a stop shortly after as his fingers slowly pull out of you, making some of your juices fall to the ground from his fingers.

His fingers get out of your mouth as well. “On four” He simply orders, and eventhough you wanna protest you simply obligue, getting on the said position fastly. He’s busy removing his clothes, on your back. “I love you too Doyoung” You are finally able to reply as he gets undressed. The boy chuckles at your cute confession.

“I know baby” He says kneeling down and inserting his tip in you. You whimper loudly and he sighs. “You have to be quiet if you don’t wanna get us expelled” He says and you nod as if understanding, but deep down you know you will not be able to control sounds from coming out of your mouth.

He puts his hand on your mouth making your body follow his arm. Your back touches his chest slightly getting the boy’s sweat on you. His dick gets inside of you fully as you do. His hips move fast as if he had been retraining them all this time. “Have I ever told you how good you look like this?” You shake your head and he smirks.

“You look perfect like this, when I fuck you” He whispers in your ear, leaving goosebumps all over your body. And it’s true, the way the lights reflect on your body, as it shakes, covered by shiny sweat is really a mesmerzing view. “Now you are gonna cum for me as I do okay?” He says softly and you nod, already feeling a wave of arousal coming.

Your body shakes when you feel his hot cum filling you out. “Fuck” You whisper loudly once he removes his hand from your mouth. He pulls out of you, letting his cum fall to the ground and he sits down, catching his breath back in.

“I need to tell you” He says in between heavy breathes. “About the mirror” He starts saying with a shaky voice, but his figure starts dissapearing without he even noticing. You gasp in surprise, not knowing what was happening. “I saw” His breathy voice says just before his whole body vanishes away.

You’re really shocked, not knowing what to say or do or think. You never saw this kind of magic before and he for sure wasn’t controlling it. Your eyes keep looking at the spot where his body used to be, thinking to yourself if all of this had been just your pure imagination tricking your brain.

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To be continued.

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caswellprmanager · 3 years

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the caswell wears prada

read it on ao3!

Summary: EJ's style is simple and functional but Ricky discovers he's capable of more than just letterman jackets and white sneakers. (Part 4 of my trans!ej and genderqueer!ricky AU.)

Author's Notes: I have this little headcanon that EJ used to model baby clothes when he was a baby. Then only went back to modelling once he transitioned to the point he was comfortable enough. Also not me giving Ashlyn's parents a purpose except for just leaving the house empty enough for Ashlyn to throw parties. Hope you guys enjoy!

Warning: Implied Sexual Content at the very end but since it's not explicit, I'll just let y'all use your imaginations.

Ricky has almost exclusively seen EJ in basic white boy clothes. It's usually just a nice fitting t-shirt, some branded jacket, jeans, and branded sneakers. It's not exactly avant-garde but Ricky can appreciate the fact that EJ has found a distinct style that's both understated yet elevates his already good looks.

But from what Ricky has learned in the few months that they've been dating EJ is that just because he dresses like that, it doesn't mean EJ does not have an eye for fashion.

Ricky learned this one day when the two of them were hanging out with Gina and Ashlyn at Ashlyn's house.

Ashlyn's mom was the Editor-In-Chief of an editorial fashion magazine that focuses on highlighting brands that promote sustainable fashion. She also runs a design company herself. Every other minute, she'd be going in and out of her design studio with a phone against her ear and a different meter of fabric in her hands. Her job is also the reason why Ashlyn's parents aren't usually home. Ashlyn's mom would be invited to different fashion events or she'd meet with a client about a new start-up. Ashlyn's dad accompanies her so that she wouldn't overwork herself.

None of that is new to Ricky. What is new, however, is EJ's involvement in her work.

"Ashlyn!" Mrs. Caswell rushes in, a hundred different scarves wrapped around her neck. Ricky wonders if she can breathe beneath all that cashmere and silk. "Darling, I need your help."

"What is it, mom?" Ashlyn asks, pausing the movie the four of them were watching.

Instead of responding, Mrs. Caswell just runs back to her home studio with a hurried click of her heels. Ashlyn looks at the rest of the group with a shrug, moving to stand up until her mom comes rushing back in – this time with a little purple hat perched on her strawberry blond locks.

"EJ, sweetheart! You come too. I need your opinion on a few things." Before any of them could say anything, she's disappeared back into her studio in a flurry of scarves and sequins.

EJ doesn't even bat an eye and moves to follow his cousin out of the living room. Ricky grabs his hand before he could leave, asking him what Ashlyn's mom wants his opinion on. EJ isn't exactly Paris Fashion Week, if Ricky was gonna be honest.

EJ just smiles, placing a chaste kiss on Ricky's lips before saying, "I'll tell you when we get back."

With that statement, Ricky and Gina are left alone, both feeling more confused than before.

"Does that happen often?" Ricky asks Gina, who is picking through the popcorn bowl.

"Ashlyn's mom being weird?" Gina tosses a popcorn kernel up into the air before catching it into her mouth flawlessly. "I've seen Ashlyn help her a few times. But I haven't seen her call EJ into that room before."

"Yeah..." Ricky picks at a loose thread on their jeans. "Didn't really peg EJ as the fashionable type."

Gina pauses in her pursuit of the perfect popcorn kernel and raises a questioning eyebrow towards Ricky. "Hold up... EJ never told you?"

"Told me... what?" Ricky started to panic a little bit. They never liked hearing ominous phrases like that from other people. It fuels their already present anxiety about dating someone who is way out of their league like EJ – someone who could leave Ricky at any time if they realize that Ricky will never be good enough for them.

Gina seems to realize this quickly enough and she tries to diffuse the situation before it gets worse. "Oh! No no no, Ricky, it isn't bad!"

"Then what is it?" Instead of answering, Gina just looks over shoulder at the direction of where the Caswell Cousins went to. After a few seconds of making sure the coast is clear, she tilts her head and motions for Ricky to follow her.

Gina leads Ricky to the spare guest room that EJ occupies sometimes when he doesn't want to sleep at home. In fact, sometimes this room is literally just called EJ's extra room because he's here so frequently. Ricky's napped here a couple of times so it isn't a new place. But he's usually too tired to explore it due to some recent emotional problem or another.

By the far wall is a dresser that Ricky hasn't ever thought to look through. Gina beckons him to come closer as she opens the bottom drawer.

"Ashlyn showed me this when I first moved in. We had to call EJ immediately after because I just had... so many questions." After a few seconds of rummaging, Gina brings out a small stack of magazines triumphantly.

Ricky recognizes the magazines immediately as the same ones Ashlyn's mom is the Editor-In-Chief for.

"Are those...?" Ricky asks and Gina nods excitedly, motioning for him to sit down next to her. The two of them peer through the old issues together, pointing at things they think would look nice on them.

Before they turn to the middle spread, Gina turns to them with a serious look in her eye. "Ricky, I need you to brace yourself."

Ricky tilts their head in confusion. "For what?"

"Just," And Gina can't even hide her giddy little smile. "Get ready."

Ricky can't even bring themself to respond before Gina is showing them the middle spread of the magazine. Their mind skids to a halt when they see a younger EJ staring back at them from the glossy pages, dressed head to toe in the finest three-piece dress suit Ricky's ever seen.

And it isn't just that, EJ's all over the spread – dressed in all kinds of outfits. From gorgeously crafted lace button downs to tastefully styled overcoats – EJ models the shit out of them. Ricky scans the pages in awe because they've never seen EJ wear stuff like this. Sure, they've seen EJ in a suit during homecoming but not one with embroidered roses across the vest or paired with diamond encrusted gold jewelry.

Gina turns the page and Ricky lets out a small gasp.

It's a two page Ashlyn and EJ spread – the cousins looking absolutely ethereal dressed in the most delicate fabric embroidered with flowers along the seams. Their skin is glowing beneath the sunset, the light catching at the highlights on their cheekbones. But what really got to Ricky is one very small but powerful detail:

The flowers along EJ's shirt and the makeup he's wearing are in the trans flag colors.

"Ricky, look." Gina points at the small interview portion at the corner of the page, smiling when Ricky reads it and realizes that it's about EJ.

E.J. Caswell – Teen Transgender Model

"I've been avoiding modeling since I started transitioning and coming back to it was really scary." Says teen model E.J. Caswell. "But when my aunt gave me the opportunity to finally speak my truth through fashion, I knew that I wouldn't regret this decision in the long run."

"There are still so many moments where I hate my body. It's gonna take a while until that goes away. And maybe it won't. Ever." E.J. tells us with a sad smile. "But this is a start – and I get to style some really cool clothes while I'm at it!"

When Ashlyn Caswell was asked about the significance of this project to her cousin and to future transgender models, she smiled softly, making it abundantly clear how much she adores her older cousin. "E.J. is one of the bravest people I know. He's always been an inspiration to me and I'm so proud of him for doing this on his own terms. Plus, I'm really happy he asked me to be a part of it with him. But don't tell him I said that! I'll never hear the end of it."

"She said that?" E.J. said with barely concealed glee. "Aww, Ashlyn!"

Ricky and Gina giggle at the mental image of EJ probably giving an exasperated Ashlyn a big bear hug after his interview. Ricky can't help but stare at the spread again, lightly trailing his finger over EJ's face with a soft smile. He really is so beautiful. Ricky sometimes can't believe that someone as gorgeous as EJ is real.

"Looks like Gina beat me to it."

The sound of EJ's voice by the doorway makes the two of them freeze and turn to see both Caswell cousins looking at them with knowing smiles. But Ashlyn and EJ weren't wearing what they were wearing before Ashlyn's mom called them for help.

Instead, Ashlyn was wearing a floor length pink chiffon dress with embroidered roses scattered along its sleeves and body. EJ was wearing a dress shirt of similar color and material, pairing it with white dress pants and a ruby encrusted rose broach.

"Well look at you two supermodels!" Gina squealed in glee, bounding over to gush over Ashlyn's outfit. Ricky stays rooted in their spot on the floor, their eyes never leaving EJ's. EJ approaches them slowly and takes a seat on the bed next to Ricky. He moves into an effortless pose, making Ricky blush more than necessary.

EJ smiles at them, eyes sparkling mischievously. "Hi."

"H-Hi." Ricky says, moving to face EJ with shaky legs. "You look nice."

"Just nice?" EJ leans down with a smirk, a lock of hair falling to his forehead like some goddamn romance movie. Ricky didn't even notice that even his hair was styled differently. Was EJ growing his hair out? Why didn't he warn me?

"I'd say something dirtier but I don't wanna traumatize the girls." EJ laughs at that and Ricky could only stare at the way EJ throws his head back with the most beautiful smile they've ever seen.

This isn't fair. EJ is sitting here looking like he was plucked straight out of a Vogue magazine while Ricky's sorry ass is on the floor in pajama pants and an old hoodie. Fuck. They should have texted Kourtney for help with their outfit today.

"You're so cute," EJ leans forward even closer, so close that EJ's able to lightly graze their noses together. "Maybe I should dress like this more often to make you blush like that."

Ricky contemplates on the statement for a bit, imagining what it would be like if EJ were to wear more designer clothes to school everyday. EJ right now certainly looks confident and cool. Plus, he gets the added bonus of Ricky looking extra flustered around him.

But at the end of the day, it's EJ's body and EJ gets to choose whatever makes him feel good.

Besides, Ricky fell for EJ without all the bells and whistles.

"You don't have to wear fancy clothes to make me think you're gorgeous." Ricky says before they can stop themself from saying it. But it's out now and there's no turning back. EJ's eyes widen but they eventually soften after processing what Ricky said.

"It doesn't matter what I think, though." Ricky says, reaching for EJ's hand. "What matters is that you're happy. Whether you're wearing a potato sack or Versace. As long as you feel comfortable and you're seeing your favorite self in the mirror, I'll tell you that you're the most handsome boy in the world."

Ricky scoots closer to place a soft kiss on EJ's nose before pressing their foreheads together. Ricky can't really tell who's smiling wider from this angle but they didn't care.

"My handsome boy." Ricky whispers, lightly tracing EJ's bottom lip with their thumb. EJ smiles even wider at the sound of that and it never fails to make Ricky happy seeing EJ so happy.

They're about to move in for another kiss when they hear Ashlyn cough from the doorway.

The two of them separate abruptly, both blushing profusely as the girls giggle behind their hands.

"We'll leave you two alone," Ashlyn says, grabbing Gina's hand to pull her back to the living room. "I'll tell mom you'll be late for dinner."

As soon as the door closes behind the girls, Ricky turns back to a still blushing EJ, a small but urgent thought manifesting to the front of their mind.

"I should take this off-" EJ doesn't even get the chance to finish his sentence before Ricky is pushing him down on the bed and straddling his hips. "R-Ricky?"

Ricky smirks, placing a single finger on EJ's lips as they lean forward to whisper in his ear,

"I'll help you take it off." EJ lets out the smallest whimper at that but Ricky shushes him, blowing against his earlobe. "But you have to be quiet, handsome."

As soon as EJ shakily nods his head yes, Ricky gets to work.

Unfortunately, they're more than a little late for dinner.

---

A/N: I've added some reference pics below if y'all want a better image of what EJ and Ashlyn were wearing hehe :>

#ej caswell #ricky bowen #caswen #gina porter #ashlyn caswell #hsmtmts #hsmtms fanfiction #trans!ej #genderqueer!ricky #cloud's writing now

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scourgadow · 3 years

Text

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

#jdate #john dies at the end #aus #erh. tthe hell do i tag this as #rambles.txt #long post #well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something #send an ask. or whatever #yaknow #:jazz hands:

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himbothomas · 3 years

Text

Video Games || 2018 || PT. 1

“Your house is nice.”

Dean says, mostly to be polite but also cause he means it. Levi scoffs, leading him around the cluttered kitchen island towards the basement steps. His older sister, Sabrina, had already stalked upstairs, but she’d smiled when Dean told her she was a good driver, and had let him pick out which Paramore CD to play. She smelled really good, too, but Dean wasn’t about to risk one of the only friendships he had. And, until yesterday when he asked him to hang out after school today, Levi had been strictly a practice and class friend. They usually had to run laps together for dicking around between drills and usually got detention together for dicking around between classes, but this was different. It’s not like Dean was hurting for friends-everyone liked him and he and most of the other 11th graders on the football team hung out together in a big group, but no one has ever invited him over to their house. Just him.

And Levi. Dean really likes Levi. Really likes him. He, Dean notices as they settle on the well worn couch, also smells really good.

Shit. Fuck. Dean stops just short of shaking himself. He-well he wasn’t gay. He likes girls. But he also likes…Levi. It’s stupid and Dean knows it-the best thing that could come out of acting on those sorts of feelings is getting completely ostrichized. He’d be lucky if he didn’t end up hospitalized, for that matter. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t look. Or think about him before he falls asleep. Or purposefully get detention for the third time in a week so they could keep hanging out. Levi settles next to him, and it’s not weird for Dean to look, so he does. Curly black hair and eyes that were green in the right light. A tan that was half freckles and a quarter Puerto Rico and a smile that keeps Dean up at night, one he returns easily.

“Oh.” Levi says, standing again to grab the Xbox controllers. Dean tries not to look at his ass but it’s right there. Maybe he just likes nice asses. That’s not that weird.

Levi hands him the controller and continues to fuck with his Xbox.

“Madden or call of duty?”

Dean scoffs “You think after finally being done with football season, I wanna play football on screen?”

“So you suck at Madden?” Levi responds, booting up the game and laughing when Dean flips him off.

“No I’m just trying to be a good guest-“

“You just flipped me the bird-“

“I don’t think it’s polite to kick your host’s ass within 20 minutes of arrival.”

“Whatever.” Levi says, sitting back on the couch and closer to Dean. It’s just because he has wired controllers and doesn’t want to stretch the cord out. Dean has to stop from physically yelping when their knees touch. He shifts away. Levi, for his part, is texting.

“My mom says you can eat dinner with us if you want.”

The thought of processed food not from the organic grocery store is even more attractive than his friend or his sister.

“Oh cool. Sure, thanks.”

Levi raises an eyebrow. “You’re not even gonna ask your parents?”

“Do they still hold your hand when you cross the street, little boy?”

“Fuck off. “Levi shoves him and Dean laughs

“Nah I don’t have to do shit. My mom doesn’t care about me and Kenny forgets my name once football is over.”

“Oh shut up, sad sack your mom cares about you.” Levi rolls his eyes and picks the Dallas Cowboys as his team. Dean let’s him and picks the Patriots simply because-

“Why the fuck did you pick the worst team to ever fucking exist?”

“I figured if you’re gonna insist that I kick your ass I might as well break your spirit too.”

Levi shoves him again and Dean’s mission is accomplished. “Bastard.”

“Yeah, technically.”

Levi rolls his eyes again and they start to play. When Levi is down 40 points, Dean speaks.

“She really doesn’t care though. My mom. Which is cool most of the time cause I can do whatever I want, but last year she forgot about my birthday until it was 6 weeks later.”

Levi turns his head to look at him. “Oh you’re not kidding, are you?”

“Why do you think she bought me a car before I could drive?”

He’d failed his test twice at this point but that didn’t matter.

“That’s uh…pretty fucked, man.”

Dean shrugs. “It is what it is. I’m just wall decor unless there’s football talk or she needs to prove to someone she was once liberal enough to fuck a black guy.” Levi chokes a little on the Gatorade he's drinking.

“Jesus.”

“Nah, his name is Rodney.”

“Do you see him ever?” Levi asks. Something about the genuine curiosity in his voice is so nice that Dean lets him get a first down.

“Ha!”

“Nah. He took off when I was like…4? 5? And then we lived with my grandparents for a bit, which was cool. My grandpa was fucking awesome. But he died when I was like, 9 and mom was already with Kenny at that point so I never felt like I could ask about my dad.”

“You ever wanna meet him?”

Usually people express some sort of false sympathy for him, but Levi is too focused on making passes Dean is letting slide.

“Oh I did. Last Christmas. We met at Waffle House. He asked me for money.”

“What?!” Levi pauses the game and stares at him. “Whatd you do?”

Dean shrugs. “I had like $50 on me so I uh…gave it to him.”

The tips of his ears burn with shame and he looks away, suddenly uncomfortable.

“Jesus I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to like-Thats some tough shit, Deanie.”

Levi had been the first to call him that. Dean has been pretending for almost two and a half years that it didn’t make his heart race.

“It’s ok. Really. It sort of…I know now. It sucks but I can’t do a whole lot about it.”

Levi sighs. “Yeah but I shouldn’t have, like, forced you to tell me.”

“You didn’t.” Dean says easily. “It was actually nice to tell someone that.”

“Thomas.”

“Sanchez.”

“You’ve never told anyone that before?” No one’s eyes have any business looking that pretty when they’re sad. Especially Levi’s. Dean shrugs again, his voice a little lower.

“My mom doesn’t even know I met him. She’d just get pissed at me anyway so like…” he shrugs again. He feels Levi’s eyes on him and it makes his stomach tighten. “Do you wanna get back to the game or is therapy Levi still happening?”

“Stop being an asshole. That’s…so much, dude.”

“Yeah, a real winner runs through my DNA. Glad I kept his name.”

Levi groans. “You make me feel like a dick for being unhappy here.”

“You are a dick. Your mom lets you have video games and a whole basement that I’m guessing you decorated unless she’s a Kate Upton fan.”

Levi snorts. “I don’t entirely feel bad for you and your step dad’s fucking fortune and mansion.”

Dean doesn’t say anything because he knows Levi is right. “I dunno man, I’d give it all up for there to be bacon in the house.”

“What?!”

They keep talking as they play the game. Levi asks questions that are direct without prying. Dean tries to ask them back. He is shortly losing by 70 points. When the cowboys win, he does his best to demand a rematch, which, really, means he gets to keep talking to Levi.

“So-“ Levi says. “I think it’s only fair since you told me your secret, I'll tell you one of mine.”

Dean snorts. “This isn’t a friendship based on transactions you weirdo.”

“Right, yeah. Then I’m gonna be super narcissistic and make it about me.” Dean laughs at this and it’s his turn to pause the game.

“You uh, told me all that stuff because why?” Levi’s voice is different. Less confidence. Dean slowly realizes he’s nervous.

“I trust you.” Dean says, realizing he does as he says it.

“You do?”

“Should I not? Are you as shitty at keeping secrets as you are at realizing things?”

When Levi doesn’t laugh, Dean puts his controller down fully and turns to him. “Dude are you ok?”

“Yeah I uh-so what I told you before was a secret isn’t exactly secret it’s just…something I wanna ask about to see if it’s uh, normal.”

Something small and evil like a shred of hope crawls into Dean's stomach.

“Even if it’s not, Levi, I wouldnt you know, treat you differently for it.”

Levi scoffs again and Dean frowns. “What? I mean it. Have you ever known me to like, you know, judge people or whatever?”

Levi considers this and, as he strokes his thumb slowly up and down his index finger, his voice relaxes. “No. I guess I haven’t. You’re even nice to Dan-Danielle Stevens.”

Danielle was openly trans and braver than anyone else Dean knew.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We live in Texas.”

“And I’m Black. And from Wisconsin.”

Levi laughs. “Two things I always say about you.”

Dean can’t help himself. “You talk about me a lot?”

He could be mistaken, but some of Levi’s freckles darken. “That’s not-do you want me to tell you the question or not?”

“Ask me the question, Leev.” Dean says, hoping he’s right.

Levi takes a breath. They’re facing each other on the couch now, controllers as abandoned as their math homework.

“I was just uh, you know, wondering if you-or if it’s normal or whatever... to think what it’d be like to you know…kiss another guy or something.”

All the blood leaves Dean’s upper body and rushes south.

“I think that’s normal.” Dean says, hoping he didn’t pause too long or answer too eagerly. “I mean it’s 2018, you know. Like all that gay shit is way more accepted so like, we see it more and maybe it sparks some inspiration or something.”

“Right. Ok. Yeah. Like when you see an ad for something a bunch of times and then you finally buy it. “

Dean laughs. “Yeah. Curiosity isn’t bad unless you’re a cat or like, a guy who defuses bombs.”

Levi laughs and moves a bit closer.

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

“You’re getting really close to your allotted time slot being up but I’ll see what I can do.”

“I hate you.” Levi says, his smile directed just at Dean is too much to handle.

“Have you ever thought about-”

Before Levi finishes, Dean closes the distance between them, stretching out on the couch and very carefully and purposefully placing his lips on Levi’s.

And its right. It’s so right Dean almost feels bad for being so ashamed of all the times he’s thought about it.

Levi pulls away just slightly and when his thumb comes up to trace Dean’s cheekbone, that evil shred of hope doubles in size.

They stay like that for an hour, getting bolder and more confident with each kiss, their hands firmly on each other’s. When his mom comes home with the smell of pizza lingering with her and calls down the stairs, they pull apart. Without speaking, Dean knows they’re not going to talk about it, but he can’t even bring himself to care-everything he’d been fantasizing about was so much better in practice. Even if Levi never wants to see him again-

“You wanna come over again tomorrow?” Levi says, clearing his throat. His hand covers Dean’s on the couch and gives him a squeeze.

Dean’s fate is sealed before he can even finish saying “Sure.”

#drabble #video games #levi

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ginervacade · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2! Here it is!

No one has interacted with chapter 1 yet but I’m posting 2 anyway. I found a title, drumroll please ....... Coffee,Blood, and The Ever Puzzling Dr. Reid

Warnings: periods, blood

Disclaimer: This fic contains a trans character, I am not trans. The events in this fic may not be accurate to the experiences of real trans people. I’m sorry, I’m trying but I’m slightly ignorant on the subject. If and when I get something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it and learn. Thank you.

Chapter 1 is here if you wanna read that.

I will be writing from character POVs from now on, switching between Spencer and Gracie. Without further ado.....

Chapter 2-Gracie

I woke up that lovely Monday morning in a good mood. The sun was shining and the temperature was just right. Today was looking good. I got ready fairly quickly, sliding into a dress, stepping into my heels,pinning in my bow, all perfectly content. Tossing my bag onto my shoulder as I skipped out the door, singing a song to myself. I stopped for a cup of tea, picking up some coffee and a donut for Spencer too. I wanted to share my good mood,brighten his morning a bit. I didn’t know yet how much he needed it.

When I arrived, everyone was already there, except Spencer. It seemed odd, he’s usually early, but I didn’t worry just yet. I settled into my desk, pulling out a file, and quietly singing the theme from Phantom of The Opera to myself as I worked. I giggled a bit at Rossi dramatically joining me to sing the phantom’s verse. The team struck up an easy conversation and we were content for a bit. I waved to Hotch calling a good morning up to his office where he sat watching us all.

After a short while, the elevator chimed as Spencer walked through the doors. He crossed to his desk without a word, eyes fixated on the floor as though it were somehow far more interesting this morning than usual. Somehow or the other,before he reached his desk, he tripped over who knows what. Derek reached an arm out to catch him but he managed to regain his balance just quickly enough for it not to be necessary. Mumbling a half apology he made his way to his workspace in silence, clearly flustered. By this point I was concerned. Something was obviously up. Derek chuckled.

“ You strugglin’ this mornin’ pretty boy?” he teased.

“ I’m fine” His response time shocked me and his voice was defensive.

“ You sure love?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m good.” he looked at me and smiled.

“Ok then!” I smiled back but shot a look to JJ. She nodded back at me, acknowledging that he was acting weird.

I set down the food I had brought him, wrapping my arms gently around his shoulders from behind. Giggling to myself when he leaned into the touch.

“ I brought you some breakfast by the way.”

He looked up at me at my questioningly. I nodded and he picked up his coffee. He took a sip of it, pleasure evident in his eyes. I had gotten it right, I knew how he liked it. He set the cup back down on his desk.

“Thank you.” he said happily,” But why?”

I found it adorable that he was still confused at my methods of showing affection. I suppose he had a different love language than me. I express love in just about every way but my receiving love language, and most common giving, was physical touch. In that I knew we were opposites, seeing as he was not one for touch at all usually, though it didn’t bother him from us. He hadn’t liked for me to touch him at first so I had tried not to be huggy with him but I still slipped up with something small every once in a while and he had become more accustomed to it. He wouldn’t initiate touch unless he could tell I was upset and really needed it but he would accept it from me now. Things like the way I was currently resting my arms on his shoulders had become commonplace and he seemed to even like it most of the time.

“ Because I could. I was stopping for tea anyway. I’m in a good mood, figured I’d share it with someone I love.”

I turned and kissed him lightly on the cheek, just like I always do,giggling at the blush it caused to cross his features as though it still surprised him every time. Crossing the five feet back to my desk, I settled in happily and resumed my work. He sat contentedly, working and finishing his coffee, Maybe he had just been off this morning due to a lack of caffeine. There was no case today, just paperwork, so we all got to work. It was quiet, sort of peaceful, and I’m easily distracted so I sat people watching, completely zoned out for a bit. Everyone was so focused, I knew with us wouldn’t last. Sure enough, in no time flat Penelope wondered out of the tech cave and we all started talking again. I noticed Spence was awfully quiet, surprised we hadn’t hear any of his random tidbits of information, slightly disappointed, I like them. Watching him I could tell something was wrong. He looked distracted, letting his foot bounce really quickly in an anxious manner, and looking generally uncomfortable. I pushed aside my worries trying to remind myself that he’s an adult, and can handle himself. Still, maybe it’s the mom friend in me or maybe it’s just him, but I always worry about him.I mean, of course I do. I love him. He’s my best friend. It’s entirely normal for my entire mind to be consumed with thoughts of my best friend, right?

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xxrainstormxx · 4 years

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Save it Lover Boy. Spencer Reid x Reader (Save it for the Doctor Part 2)

(A/N: In this story it’s been a few months. I’m not great at focusing on the Romance part but there is a little more than there was last time. I really hope you guys enjoy!) Word count: 2,405 Part 1 (edit: my pleas for requests for stories are not reaching people so I will beg here. If you want a oneshot I’ll write it. Prompt or no prompt.)

After the incident with my sister, my life was flipped around for the better. I began to date Spencer, the team being unaware. I finished college and thanks to a few strings JJ and Aaron had pulled I was now the BAU's personal assistant. Granted, it was a unpaid internship so it was not very glamorous but it got me the experience I need, especially if I want to be apart of this specific team. I was the one who got coffee, filled out unrelated paper work, helped JJ set up stations and boards. I still hadn't quite gotten used to that sinking feeling when the phone rings. Or when JJ approaches your desk, or the photos. You never get used to not sleeping in your own bed, the hotels, no moments of privacy, the monsters, families loosing each other. Or the pictures, it's disgusting. I especially never got used to how numb all my friends were numb to it all at the end of the day. Especially Spence, he'd been through utter hell and yet he was still sweet and managed to smile. It worried me sometimes, how relaxed they could be at the end of the day.

So, JJ and I were setting up everything on the board. I frowned at the woman on the board. Only one, we caught it just in time for it to become a murder. It made me sick to think there was a possibility we could save the 25 year old, but instead we were called in after it became a bigger problem which made me feel sick. How easily someone gets away with something until they commit the actual murder. This woman was a very lively person. She clearly didn't deserve what she had gotten. "Samantha Burkly" JJ said softly "Poor woman." She said and left to talk to the others leaving me sitting in the conference room just tapping away at the laptop provided. I was also little Miss Penelope Garcia's assistant so I was stuck digitizing files she didn't want to, and it fucking sucked dirty dick. Yeah, let that sink in. Anyway I felt a few pairs of eyes on me only to look up and see the team staring at me through the cursed window of the room. "What?" I rose a brow causing a few to look away Spencer's eyes lingering, he was waiting for something. I don't think either of us knew what so I blew him a kiss and a subtle wink making him look away turning pink. That same shade of pink when he found me innocent and began what I would come to know as a very normal rant. His epiphanies, or what I called "braingasms" (which he absolutely despised), would strike a chord 99% of the time, and the other 1% could be brushed off as "Reid being Reid" which kinda upset me. He was a damn genius and yet no one seemed to want to listen. Sure I hadn't been around as long a the others but I would sit and listen to Spence talk for hours when on dates, I would nod, as questions and get very thoughtful and honest answers. Sure they weren't always what someone would want to hear, but did anyone ever tell you it would be good news. Reid and I could also have a very thoughtful debate. Now was that normal for couples, no, probably not. But at least he had facts to back up his opinion, making it a real debate and not just some senseless argument that fell into pointless attacks on the other person leading to a fight and rough makeup sex. Which I wouldn't mind but it'd only been a few months, and didn't wanna make an uncomfortable situation we could easily talk through anyway. What was I doing? Right, paperwork.

As I ended my very long side rant and staring into space while also staring directly at Spencer's ass, I turned to my computer. "You shouldn't stare at people baby cakes." I heard causing me to jump out of my damn seat. "I was staring into space. Jesus Derek you scared the shit out of me!" I cursed glancing to the man with his nose in a file I was digitizing, "Sorry hun. But we need a fresh pair of eyes" he said gesturing to a new less dusty file on the table in front of my computer. I recognized the face on the front as the same woman on the board. Her name written on the front clear as day. I knew what was inside and I was proud to have not seen it but now it disturbed me that my eyes were being referred to as "Fresh" in that way. It made me feel dirty and violated in a whole new way. "Why? You guys know this case inside and out. I'm just the intern." I said and snatched the older file out of his hand. I knew this poor case inside and out by now. Decapitation and sexual assault of the esophagus. Real nasty shit ya know? The woman was 22 and then a man was found two weeks later with the same thing. But the case went cold 7 years ago. It was sad. The woman's mother had killed herself and the man's father disowned his son assuming he was gay because a man did that to the literally gaping hole in his neck. It was one of the bigger case files full of dead ends. I had become intimately aware of all the details of the case, even the signature, something overlooked by the police because they thought decapitation and violation of the hole in the neck was it, and while rare that wasn't the case. It was a soft lipstick mark left on the victims hands next to the stamp of the club they went too. It was pink so very easily missed. "Because baby, you're gonna need to get used to this if you ever wanna be promoted. You can't react like you did back in January and vomit on the floor." Derek chided me softly "Fine, But you have to stop calling me baby, we aren't together. Also stop touching the files they're in alphabetical order and you're fuckin it up" I hissed smacking his hand away from another file at the bottom of the stack. "pissin me off Agent Moron" I wailed as he laughed at the new insult. I could literally feel Spencer's jelousy from the next room. It was honestly kind of cute but I could not be thinking of my boy's sweet face at the moment, I was about to see what really happened to poor Samantha Burkly. I took the new file off the table and opened it to the pictures and I was hit with a familiarity. "Derek this isn't funny. I was just looking at this file" I declared nonchalantly as I lobbed it back onto the table going back to the laptop "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked "that's a brand new file" He said "A red headed woman decapitated with semen in her esophagus and a pink lipstick mark on her hand next to it? That Hellen Barsly not the Burkly girl" I stated "You leave out Jason Green to make it more realistic?" I muttered never once looking up "Pin lipstick mark?" he questioned grabbing the file "I'll be damned there it is. You barely looked at it. That woman is Samatha Burkly" he blinked "Har har Derek" I hissed snatching the file and opened the file as Spencer walked in to listen. I barely acknowledged him because I was pissed at this point.

"I know the Banshee Hunter of West Point case better than my own fucking computer history" I said and held it up to the picture before being shocked as I saw that the decapitated woman was in fact Samantha. Right next to her living photo. "The what?" Reid asked, clearly never having heard of it. "Oh my god. OH MY GOD" I yelled and ran back to my seat pulling out all the files related to The BHWP case, I knew full well that this case was bigger than it seems. "Penelope has me on digital file duty and these cases caught my attention for some reason. The case went cold 7 years ago." I mumbled pulling up all the files that were back at the office in my desk as I'd finished them. I had a whole folder for all the connected cases, even ones where the M.O and victimolgy had changed. "The first murder dated back to 1970. A woman by the name of Jenny Boil had disappeared, she was 24 years old. Found decapitated in the middle of the highway her esophagus had been sexually assaulted. She had red hair with a soft pink kiss mark on her hand and her mouth had been stretched open like a banshee. And because her hair was red along with numerous victims leading up to the sudden coldness of the case. There are cases where the victimology changed completely or the M.O so the police never connected them or assumed they were copy cats" I rambled as I quickly set up a time line that ended with Samantha "and now hes back with the latest victim" I hit enter and the time line stretched across the screen victims all over the screen. "the pink lip stick marks. Originally they were thought to be remorse but I think this guy has some kind of fucked up chivalrous attempt" I squawked and pushed my chair to the whiteboard standing on it feeling eyes on me. I didn't know or care how many. I heard frantic flipping and click me. "This guy has over 100 known victims only 12 of them not red heads. Only 11% of his victims don't fit the victims and only 3 don't fit the M.O of the others making that 2%!" I yelled as if I was Spencer. I could feel my face turning red with adrenaline. "Now all of these cases 100 percent all have a kiss mark on the hand, same brand and color of lipstick, A frosted pink lipstick, 67 Peach Pink from the brand Nestacia" I wrote that down "And all these cases I noted have three different overlapping suspects" I said pushing Spencer out of the way of my computer and printed up their pictured and grabbed them hanging them up "Now!" I continued slapping the board "This man right here is no Biological male! His name is Tyler Grant a 59 Year old trans man! He couldn't have done it but that doesn't mean he couldn't have helped" I said noticing the whole team in the room. No one tried to interrupt because I assumed I looked batshit insane.

I was right cause I caught my refection and my hair was everywhere now, I was sweating, and my pupils were shaking. I didn't care I was on a roll. "There is no plausible way the semen belongs to him!" I said "These also can't be a copy cat killer-" I began before being unceremoniously interrupted again "But how do you-" he began before i loudly shushed Spencer. "Save it lover boy! I'm getting to that! Lemme talk your turn in over" I said making him smile just a little "As i was saying, it can't be a copy cat killer because there was also another unnoticed factor! The strange shape of the lips! No one draws on their lips this way but the pallet is larger on one side than the other. The killer has a cleft pallet, which cannot be a coincidence!" I said "and as you can see! This man right here! Leston Nikolia has a cleft pallet. But because they never had proof he'd done it due to the overlooked lipstick marks he walked free!" I yelled circling him "And we don't talk about Henry for the simple fact that he is Impotent and was in jail during the last 7 murders before Samantha and he's dead now!" I finished and took a large inhale and sat down "the lip stick is enough reasonable suspicion to bring him in for questioning. He's a coward. He cannot face people head on and most likely has high anxiety and is easily paranoid it wouldn't be hard to get a correct confession." I panted "Reid! Is this what it feels like when you solve a fucking problem? I feel like my brain just had 7 orgasms" I wished sitting back "It was always circumstantial but now that there a new victim sitting in front of me I'm sure it was him" I wished taking more deep breaths "I'm going to call Garcia and see if I can get a fact check on everything." Aaron began making my heart sink, please please don't discredit everything I just gave you. "JJ can you get us a location? Reid get started on a warrant the minute JJ gets it, Derek get a game plan together, Prentiss and I will do more investing on this Nikolia guy, and (Y/N)." he finished turning to me. "Keep going over every file you have and see if you can connect anymore of these murders. Good work" He said and the team began to work. "Holy shit" I gasped and Spencer smiled at me "You might have just solved this case." He said kissing my forehead "and I'm so damn proud" he whispered. I was still riding my knowledge high, the adrenaline still pumping so not caring that we were at work, I kissed Spencer straight on the lips. He froze because we were still in a work setting but slowly kissed back. His lips were soft, we hadn't had a proper first kiss, just forehead kisses, cheek pecks, and occasional pecks on the lips if Spencer was feeling sausey. I just giggled pulling back "That was... so much at once. How does your brain do that all the time?" I asked "Mine's been doing it a lot longer. See you after work okay?" he whispered and went to do his job "Right. Work" I whispered and sighed turning to my laptop cracking my knuckles doing real work for the first time in my internship. Who knows, maybe me and Penelope could do this kind of thing together!

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds oneshot

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im-the-punk-who · 3 years

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Idk if ur the right person to send this to so feel free to ignore if you aren't but I'm beginning to realize that I might be a trans guy after years of thinking I'm enby and I'm really struggling with that? I've received a lot of the messages over the years about how men are bad and violent and I've also experienced a lot of gender based violence before I was out. I know intellectually that there's nothing wrong with manhood and yet I'm still really struggling. Idk do you have any thoughts on learning to accept your own manhood

Okay! Sorry this took a few days to answer but this is...definitely still a complicated thing for me, too.

First off I wanna say that whether you end up identifying as a binary trans man or somewhere in between that and nonbinary, that is very cool and valid and all of this can apply no matter where on the spectrum of masculinity you ultimately end up falling.

I saw a post which explains the basic thesis of what I'm gonna say, which is that your gender does not equal your morality.

Tumblr in particular really likes to go hard on the misandry and it can be really hard not to internalize that. Especially when it comes in the form of so many jokes, and especially especially when some of it does line up with experiences you’ve had. The biggest thing to realize, is that just *being a man* doesn't make you inherently violent or toxic or bad. All of the things that Tumblr and feminism in general tends to equate to “being a man = bad” are things that are learned or encouraged over time, no matter how much terfs like to insist they are traits inherent in being born with a y chromosome.

(And yes, these misandry arguments ALL have their basis in gender essentialism and in arguing why trans people can’t exist.)

As this relates to trans men, it becomes akin to walking a tightrope our entire lives. In both society at large and LGBT spaces we're made to fit as close as possible into gender norms to avoid violence or oppression(or the insistence we’re really just lesbians or self-hating cishets). But we also have first hand experience of the ways in which men are *socialized* to behave being harmful and don’t want to perpetuate them and be labeled a ‘bad person’. So we have to constantly walk this line of, I suppose trying to act manly enough while also trying not to cause waves (And, AS A NOTE, does that sound eerily similar to the argument most feminists say is purely a feminine experience? Is it almost like the very system that seeks to free cis women through hatred of men perpetrates those exact same systems onto other marginalized communities?)

And I will say, this is something I still struggle with. A lot. It's not going to be something you can take a magic pill for and never have to worry about again. I started transitioning almost a decade ago and I'm still trying to find the balance. Cis men can spend their *whole lives* trying to find that balance. I know quite a few - in case it feels like this is a purely trans experience. Reckoning with the way that male privilege has socialized men to harm at the same time radical feminism has socialized everyone it can that all men intentionally cause harm is a universal experience among men who are aware of it.

It's not easy, and I guess just...if you feel like you're struggling on that front as you continue your gender journey(Laynie i hate you i hate you i hate you) try to remind yourself that you're not alone. And that what you’re fighting against is a systemic socialization, not something inherent in yourself. You’re going to screw up - that doesn't make you a bad person or a bad man.

I listen a lot to Brene Brown.

I know people are probably sick of hearing me talk about her, but she is a shame researcher who honestly helped me a LOT in realizing why I was feeling so bad about parts of my personality or my gender expression. She’s excellent. If you find you’re having a lot of trouble reckoning with being this thing you have perceived as bad for a very long time, I highly recommend listening to some of her ted talks and other speeches. Most of them are on youtube.

For a long time I was trying to base my gender off of what I thought people would love. I went over the top, dressed in popular styles, was WAY more feminine than I actually feel, and tried to make myself as unassuming as possible - in part because of childhood trauma but also because I was genuinely ashamed to be a man(particularly a gay man) because I had internalized the idea that men - especially gay men - were woman-haters. (And, because I hated *myself* as a woman, I thought that I also hated women, and I thought that I must be one of those Bad Gays.)

But once I stopped trying to do that? Once I was like ‘no I’m actually a gay-up man’ and stopped berating myself for not liking my feminie body and hating the parts of myself that I didn’t identify with but felt forced to perform? Once I started looking at what made *me* happy and not other people? It became so much easier to not feel those things.

SO I guess, what I’m saying is that the best way to deal with internalized misandry is to try to forgive yourself, and recognize that the things that men perpetrated against you and that people say are ‘toxic male traits’ are not *inherent* to being a man. They are things that are taught to men(both cis and trans) by society. And also that like, these are also things that are not just inherent to men. Any toxic trait that a man exhibits a woman can too - and yeah there’s a discussion about how the general power imbalance between men and women makes it less likely a woman would cause as much damage but honestly? If you’re on tumblr you’re most likely in female dominated spaces where arguably that isn’t true, especially with the number of fucking TERFS on this website.

Also....you do not inherit cismale privilege just by identifying as a man. No matter how far you take your transition, you are *always* going to be at a different level of privilege from a cisman. Even if you transition as far as you are able to right now and live and pass as a cisman for the rest of your life, you are not a cisman and that is going to affect how you move through the world.

(That doesn’t mean you are not a *man* because you are not cis, btw. Just that there are things that cismen don’t have to worry about that are going to affect your life - things like ovarian cancer, breast cancer, hormonal dependence, corrective abuse, medical shortages, physical differences that out transpeople - there are a hundred things that trans men have to experience throughout their lives that cismen are never, ever going to deal with. And yes, this goes for transwomen / cis women as well.)

Something that helped me become comfortable living as a man was to look at specific traits of the men in my life. Why did I feel comfortable around this man, but not others, what red flags physically or emotionally did this behavior set off in me? And then focusing on those specific *behaviors* rather than the men themselves. If you can separate the individual traits from an overarching idea of 'manhood' that might be helpful in feeling like you can inhabit manhood without being toxic.

Basically, my best advice is to tell yourself that what makes you a man does not make you inherently toxic. In fact what makes *all* men, men, does not make them inherently toxic. Men are not trash just because they’re men, and the fight against misandry *is* a fight for marginalized people. It hurts transmasculine people in exactly the ways you are hurting. No matter what TERFs say - no matter what male-critical or whatever they’re calling themselves to not have to call themselves TERFs say - men are not born evil, or bad, or trash.

Toxic masculinity is a learned behavior. It is not something you are given the day you start identifying as a man, and it is not something you have to perpetuate.

Calling it anything else does a disservice to everyone who identifies as masculine of center but especially trans men, who have to reckon with this exact knowledge that in affirming who they are, certain people are going to hate them and call them monsters and tell them they are trash and unworthy of loving without hurting.

And that shit just isn’t true. It isn’t fucking true! Men are not toxic just because they are men, and you are not a bad person just because you are a transman. That’s, I suppose, the best advice I can offer you. I hope it helps, and I also just want to reiterate that I hope you find affirmation in whatever you end up deciding. <3 <3 <3

#milo answers #gender #queer tag #transmasc #anon i hope you see this i know its a few days since you sent it #anon #Anonymous #long post

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dragon-writes-sometimes · 4 years

Text

Once Upon A Time... Not, Chapter 4: #TwinSquad

Chapter Summary: Virgil is very surprised at how strangers are coming to his rescue from the school bully, Jake Simons. He makes some new friends like that, as well as getting very confused.

Trigger Warnings: Bullying, verbal fighting, pushing, threats, confusion, let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 3492

AO3

Chapter 1

Previous Chapter - Chapter 5

Chapter 4: #TwinSquad

That sounds like… Anastacia comes into my vision, stands in front of me, guarding me. “I don’t give a rat’s arse about who you think you are! Nobody, and I repeat, NOBODY! Does that to my brother!” Anyone who doesn’t know her, everybody here except me, wouldn’t know that inside her mind, she’s screaming at herself to grab me and run. The little waver in her voice gave it away. But I’m so lucky to have her. She sets her own anxiety to the side to help me.

“What?” Jake drawls out that word. “We were just having a bit of fun. Ain’t that right, freak?” He looks pointedly at me. And earns a shove from Ann.

“Don’t you dare call my brother a freak,” she says, voice dangerously low. Oh-uh. I haven’t heard her use that voice since she beat the crap out of the only bully at our last school. He was degrading me for being trans, so he kinda had it coming. But still, Anastacia can be pretty scary when she’s in protective mode.

“Oh, I’m sooo scared. What’re you gonna do, British? Throw a teabag after me?” he mocks. Big mistake on his part, if you ask me.

“Did you just-” Oh, Ann is seething now. I can tell. To hell with anxiety, when you’ve pissed her off, you’re dead.

I look around the yard and, oh no! There are so many people! I need to get away from here! I’m on the verge of a panic attack, I can feel it! Why couldn’t I just stay at home and never see the sun again? Ann’s talking, I think. Maybe even fighting that Jake guy. At least verbally. I can’t hear them. I can’t hear anything! Wait, I can hear my heart. That’s good. Right? Oh god, I’m going to have a panic attack on the first day back to school in front of a bunch of strangers! I can’t- I can’t-

“What’s going on here, Jake?”

Who was that? Their voice sounds really calculated. But also kinda cold. Their voice broke through my panicked thoughts, though. Like Mother’s. Her voice was able to break through my thoughts. I’ve only heard their voice, but I think it’s someone I can trust. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s all a haze right now. I should probably open my eyes. Yeah, I’m gonna do that. Wait, I closed my eyes? When did that happen?

Anastacia is standing protectively in front of me, like a knight protecting their most dearest with a shield from a firebreathing dragon. No! Not thinking about that! In front of her, two other students are standing face to face with Jake. They’re talking with him. What are they saying? I try and focus on them.

“… ould leave.” The voice from earlier.

“Yeah, right. Like I’m going to. Yo, Marco! Dillan!” That’s Jake. At his shout, two other students run over to his side. “The nerds wanna fight,” Jake laughs.

“We’d rather it didn’t come to that. However, I will indulge you if you want.” This is a new voice. They sound quite dramatic. It’s one of the two who came over. They are defending me? Why? They don’t know me. I don’t know them.

I can see their back. One of the two is wearing what looks like a dark blue polo. The other is wearing a dark red jacket with a crown on. Nothing too boisterous, but still. Bold.

“Can’t you count, Garcia? It’s three against two. British is obviously too busy with her weak-ass brother,” Jake smirks.

“Numbers don’t matter in situations such as this, may I remind you. Anyone with even just a slight comprehension of hand-to-hand combat will tell you that.” The first voice.

“Indeed, Simons, we don’t need to be any more to take you fiends down.” Red Jacket does what I assume is supposed to be a dramatic pose. Pretty sure the second voice belongs to them.

“Pfft, you really think your geek can handle being in a fight, Garcia? He would lose instantly.” Jake and his goons laugh. “He’s too scrawny! If I even just gently punch him, he’d break!” Jakes goons laughed even harder at that. Well, that really wasn’t fair! I really wanna help them, but I can’t do a fucking thing right now! It’s like I’m paralysed!

“You would actually be surprised at what Logan can do, Jake.” A new voice, sounding a bit more female. Well, it looks like they are here to help Polo Shirt and Red Jacket. “And how many punches he can take without breaking a sweat or slowing down in the slightest.”

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Quick E coming the weaklings to the resue?” Jake taunts. I think it’s supposed to be a play at their name or something.

“Har har, real mature, Jackie.” Jake sneers at the name. The newcomer (gosh, there’s so many strangers now, I can’t breathe) only smile at Jake innocently. “You know it’s Qikkie. Q-I-K-K-I-E,” they spell out. “Qikkie. Might look weird, but it’s just pronounced ‘Kikki’.” Oh, their smile is dangerous now. They kinda remind me of Ann…

“Virgil, breathe.” Who said that?! I frantically look around. Who the hell sa- oh. Anastacia. She’s right next to me now. She’s telling me to breathe. Am I not breathing? I inhale sharply. Oh, guess I wasn’t.

She continues whispering soft nothings into my ear. I tune them out in favour of focusing on the conversation in front of us. Red Jacket is standing slightly in front of Polo Shirt, ready to defend. I must’ve missed something.

“Oh, go put a sock in it, Jake,” Red Jacket says. Jake just laughs. As do his goons.

“Hey! Attention here, hothead!” the newcomer, Qikkie, says, snapping their fingers. Nice bracelet. Why does it say ‘She/Her’ on it? “Do you really wanna turn your back on me? After what happened last year?” Jake visibly freezes. Qikkie just smiles wickedly. Wonder what happened?

“Fine. You losers win this round,” Jake grumbles, signalling to his goons to follow him as he leaves.

“You just conceded victory to us, so we are in fact the winners. Not losers,” Polo Shirt says, sounding puzzled.

Qikkie turns to Ann and me. “Sorry about him. Jake wasn’t taught any manners at all at home. He’s just a Neanderthal. Just ignore him and his brainless gorillas,” Qikkie smiles at us and offers a hand. The other two are still there, but it seems like they’re sending ordering looks to the other students because they start to leave fast.

Ann takes their offered hand after I nod an okay at her. She then gently lifts me up with both hands. Damn it! I’m wobbling a bit. My legs aren’t steady. Haven’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday and that push just took more of my remaining energy. I really need to eat better.

I quickly gain my balance and start signing. ‘Thanks, sis. Uhm, could you translate this next part?’ I hesitantly ask.

“Of course! Go ahead,” she says, earning a few confused looks from the others with us. Polo Shirt and Red Jacket came to stand next to Qikkie.

‘You know, it’s really offensive to Neanderthals to call him that. They were obviously much more intelligent than Jake is.’ I sign, allowing a tiny smirk to be visible on my face. Ann starts giggling a lot and has to catch her breath. Polo Shirt starts chuckling a bit as well, making Qikkie and Red Jacket look at them like they’d lost their mind. Maybe they didn’t laugh much?

Ann seems to have caught her breath again. “Huh, sorry. Right, translation. Virgil said, and I quote: You know, it’s really offensive to Neanderthals to call him that. They were obviously much more intelligent than Jake is.” And the others start laughing. Well, Polo Shirt is still chuckling a bit.

Qikkie’s laugh is light and not really that loud. Red Jacket’s laughter, however… it’s loud and boisterous and like music. Wait, what? Nonono, get it together Virgil! If you start these thoughts you’re only gonna start blushing and- and I’m blushing. Great. I look down a bit, trying to hide behind my bangs. Please don’t notice, please don’t notice, please don’t notice!

They finally start to laugh off. And Red Jacket looks at me. Oh, no! Shit! They’re smiling! At me! What do I do?! Can’t I just sink into the ground or something?!

“I like the way you think, Virgil, was it?” they ask. All I can do is stand there and look really dumb. I just nod. I’m pretty sure no one seems aware of my internal conflict. “I’m Roman. Roman Garcia. He/him.” Red Jacket, Roman, says, extending his hand but backtracks and scratches his neck instead. At least he could see I’d rather not touch any stranger at the moment.

Polo Shirt collects himself and gives a tiny attention-grabbing cough. “My name is Logan Connors. I, as well as Roman, use he/him pronouns. And we’re glad to be of assistance to the both of you,” he says and gives a curt nod. Yup. He’s the formal type. He even wears a necktie. Who even does that in a school that has no uniforms?

“You probably already caught my name,” Qikkie chuckles. “But if you forgot it already, it’s Qikkie. Picani. My name’s spelt really weird, but it’s just pronounced ‘Kiki’,” they smile. They get a look from Logan that I have no idea what means. “Oh, yeah! And I use she/her pronouns for today. I’m a demigirl, or as I like to call it: demifemale, so you can see my pronouns on my bracelet here.” She lifts her hand with the bracelet I saw earlier. So that’s why it says she/her. Cool. “When I’m wearing the ‘they/them’ pendants, you can just call me Q. You don’t have to, obviously, but it would be nice.”

“That’s really cool! I’m Anastacia, uhh, Blake,” Ann hesitantly adds. Most likely because they also shared their last names. Qikkie seems to light up at Ann’s comment about Qikkie’s bracelet. “I use she/her as well. And this is Virgil,” she gestures to me. “My brother. He/him.” I give a small wave at the introduction. And then the awkwardness starts. No one seems to know what to say now. I just try and hide behind my hair and hope Roman doesn’t look at me. I really don’t know why my body reacted like that! What’s wrong with me?

Luckily the first warning bell rings, signalling for us to get ready to go to our next class, breaking the awkward silence.

“Now that introductions are out of the way, it would be best for us to head to our next classes. We can show you to your classrooms?” Logan offers, albeit a bit awkward. He must not be all that social. Welcome to the club. I nod silently.

“We’d like that,” Ann says after she sees my nod. She checks her schedule. “Uhm, I have Maths,” she says.

“Ooh! We do too! Roman and I!” Qikkie says, clapping her hands excitedly. “We can take you there and at the same time, make sure Jake doesn’t try and bother you!” Ann nods, but glances to me. “What do you have, Virgil?” Qikkie asks me. Guess she noticed the worry in Ann’s eyes.

I look at my schedule. And smile. I have Art! One of the few things I don’t suck at and have a hard time screwing up. ‘Art’ I sign at Ann.

“Art? Cool!” Ann says, genuinely excited for me. It feels nice.

“Well, seems like you’ll be keeping me company, as I also have Art,” Logan says, adjusting his glasses unnecessarily. Must be a tick or something. He seems alright. I hope I’m not wrong like last time… “It is this way, Virgil.” I look around. Ann already left with Roman and Qikkie. I must’ve been zoning out. Wait, he’s walking away. Logan’s walking away. What do I do? Oh, right. He said he has Art too. I’m just gonna follow him.

I catch up to him pretty fast, though I do have a small limp from being pushed down on the ground. I really hope he doesn’t notice. We walk in silence. Obviously. Logan seems like someone who’s not up for unnecessary conversation, and I don’t really speak.

“So, Virgil. Might I inquire how long you’ve been unable to speak?” Logan suddenly breaks the silence. Great. “Do not worry about answering in sign-language, as I know some myself. Granted, I do not communicate in it every day. You do not have to answer if it’s too uncomfortable for you,” he adds after he, presumably, glances towards me and sees how I’m curling in on myself. It’s nice to know he actually cares about me. The least I could do after he and Roman basically saved me is answer him.

‘Well… I’m not unable to speak, per se. My throat just closes up a lot. It’s been doing that for as long as I can remember, really. So, I really just use sign to speak with others. Others being my sister and father.’ I hope that wasn’t too much for him to read. He did say he’s not the best.

“Ah. Selective mutism. I’m guessing you have heightened anxiety?” Logan asks. Wait, it’s actually called something? I thought I was just a weirdo. Huh. I do nod at his question about my anxiety. “Well, if you are called upon by the teacher, I shall translate as best I can for you if that is alright?” Again I nod.

He keeps his focus on me as we walk so I might as well ask. ‘Is there a specific reason why you know sign language?’ Pleasedon’thatemepleasedon’thatemepleasedon’thatemepleas-

“Well, a good friend of mine, his mother is deaf. I spent a lot of time at their house growing up, so I picked up a few things, well, a lot. And I’ve always been fascinated by it,” Logan explains. Well. At least he doesn’t find me annoying. Yet. I think.

We walk for another minute in silence, my mind is seriously being an asshole right now. How far away is the Art classroom anyway?! Hey, it’s my first day, alright? Don’t expect me to remember where everything is to a tee from just one tour of the school! “Logan! There you are!” someone whisper-shouts. Someone’s waving at us, standing outside a classroom.

“Ah, that is my sister, Laylin. Relax, Laylin. It’s still another five minutes before class starts,” Logan addresses the girl in front of us. She rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, but you’re usually here ten minutes before. Did Patton make you look at pictures of puppies again?” she remarks sarcastically. I’m just gonna assume that it’s something that’s only happened once and Laylin just keeps bringing it up to annoy Logan. That’s what I would do if Logan was my brother.

“That was one time!” Logan near hisses. “And no. Jake had sought out a new victim, so we stopped by to help. This is Virgil, by the way,” he says, nodding to me. I give a small wave at the girl in front of me.

“Nice to meet you, Virgil. I’m Laylin, Logan’s twin. Hope Jake didn’t give you a bad impression of the school. It’s the fewest that’s actually like him.” They’re twins. Why am I surprised? It’s the only explanation as to how they’re on the same year as siblings. Right?

The rest of the day goes by smoothly. Someone’s always by my side, so Jake stays away. We got some homework, but at least it’s something we covered last year in school, so I already did it and won’t have to agonise over it.

When we arrive at school the next day, Nini is standing just outside the doors, waving at us when she spots us. “So. Heard yesterday was quite eventful, huh? Next time Jake decides to annoy you, just drop my name, and he’ll back off,” she says as we reach her.

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Ann giggles. We head inside, and Nini guides us in the direction of our next class. We still have another fifteen minutes, but we’d like to be in good time, seeing as we missed the first lesson yesterday because we are new and needed a tour and everything.

The classroom’s up ahead, someone’s already standing outside the door, not blocking it though. Wait, is that Roman? Huh. His wardrobe is completely different from yesterday. Ann noticed him too. “Hey, Roman,” she says when we get close enough. He looks up, and did he dye his hair since yesterday? Because I don’t recall that grey streak in his hair. Then again, I only met the guy yesterday.

Roman starts laughing. Well, more like cackling, really. That… is not the reaction I expected at all. And from the way Ann mirrors my surprise and confusion, neither did she. I look around us, searching with my eyes as to what could be so funny. A guy (I assume, but still gonna refer with gender-neutral pronouns until I know for sure) is standing close by and looks like a confused bean. Like, literally. Looks like the definition of an innocent bean. Blue shirt, glasses, a cardigan tied around the shoulders, and a long skirt on.

“Remus? What’s going on?” they ask as they move closer.

REMUS?! The hell?! I glance at Anastacia. She looks as shocked as I am; mouth ajar and everything. Does this mean that yesterday was some sort of planned out practical joke? That they gave us fake names just to ridicule us today in school?

I can see their mouth moving, feel Ann’s hand on my arm, but I can’t hear. Shit! Not having a panic attack now! Not gonna happen! Pull yourself together, Virgil! Don’t need to make a bigger fool out of yourself than you already have. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, and out for eight. Repeat.

“…iddo?” Great, I can hear again. My eyes focus again. The others are staring at me. Did I miss something? I tilt my head a bit to the side, Ann knows it means I’m listening but think I might’ve missed something in the conversation. Which I clearly did just now.

“Hey, there, kiddo. Glad you’re joining us again,” the person in the skirt says. “My name is Patton, he/him,” he smiles. He seems really bubbly, it’s actually a calming atmosphere to be in. I smile faintly at him to make sure he knows I heard him. I can hear footsteps in the distance.

He opens his mouth to say some more, but someone interrupts. Someone who wasn’t there before. And looks like Patton. Like, apart from the heterochromia and some lighter patches of skin on the left side of their face, they are identical. And now my confused state has increased. “Could you keep it down, Remus? I could hear you all the way at the end of the hallway,” they drawl, pointing over their shoulder, down the long hallway.

“Oh, heya, Janus!” Patton waves energetically. “I made some new friends! I think.” He looks at me, smiling. He then looks back at the newcomer, Janus, and starts explaining what just happened to make ‘Remus’ laugh like that.

She smiles (Patton mentioned her pronouns somewhere in his explanation. It went too fast for me to get the context for why he mentioned her pronouns, okay?) and chuckles a bit. “I can understand why you look so utterly confused. You two ran into Roman yesterday, right?” she asks. Her voice is smooth and a bit deep. I can see Ann nod in my periphery. “It is most likely that he didn’t mention Remus at all. You just met, after all. But, they are not the same person. They are twins. Identical twins. Patton and I are twins as well if you were wondering, which I can only assume you were. We are not identical twins, but we look very similar still,” she explains, and now I feel like a total fool. And idiot. Of course, they are twins. That’s what makes the most sense. I’m getting a headache. “Oh, and I am genderfluid, so keep watch of my necklace,” she winks.

I look towards Anastacia, my anxiety forgotten. ‘I am getting a headache. There are three pairs of twins, not including us, here. This is gonna get confusing fast,’ I sign to her, to which she nods.

“Yeah, it is,” she agrees, taking my hand. “But we’re here together, so we get to share our confusion,” she winks.

“Oh, this is only half of us, darling,” Janus smirks. “But we should get to class, it’s about to start. Have fun.” She starts walking back down the hall. “By the way.” She stops and looks over her shoulder. “Welcome to the Twin Squad.”

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obxfix · 4 years

Text

We Have Your Back

gif is by me, credit if you repost

Description: Fluff | Kiara gets hurt and the Pogues comfort her

Content Warnings: swearing, sexual harassment and assault (if this is a trigger for you and you’d like this story with an alternative conflict, feel free to message me. I want my fics to be as inclusive as possible but also discuss very real things that happen to us as womxn/femmes.)

A/N: Hey everyone! I received a request to write a friendship fic where Kie gets comforted by the Pogues, and I thought it was such a sweet idea. Friendship is definitely not focused on as much as romance or sex (in many forms of media), and it really deserves to be! Anyway, this story is set before things got super out of control in season one. Hope y’all like it xx

NOTE – Please continue to show support for blm. Share resources, educate yourself and others, attend protests and events, and donate (especially to Black trans folx) if you can – see blacklivesmatters.carrd.co and linktr.ee/revolutionarystrawb for several ways you can help! Remember, this is a movement, not a moment. We need all hands on deck going forward. Keep the momentum up!

_____________________________________________________________

“It’s a Kook party, John B…I don’t know if they’re willing to put class war aside just cause you’re dating Sarah Cameron,” Pope said, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re afraid of some kids with college funds,” John B said, taking a swig of his juice.

“Honestly, what even is the best case scenario?” Kie questioned, unconvinced.

“You guys, it’ll be fun. That’s the best case. JJ, you’re with me on this, right?” John B said, looking over at JJ, who was eating a piece of salami off the floor.

“Yeah, shit, there’s nothing better to do and they have beer,” JJ said nonchalantly.

Kiara shook her head. “Have you bozos forgotten that I attended Kook Academy? We all know how well that went.”

“I’ve gotta agree with Kie on this,” Pope said.

“Help me out here, JJ,” John B said, throwing a box of cheezits at him.

“Hey, hey, don’t fuck up the hair,” JJ said, raking his fingers over his head. “Um…yeah John B’s right. It’ll be cool. Rafe and his friends aren’t gonna fight us there. Wouldn’t risk getting blood on the furniture.”

Kie lowered her eyes at him, annoyed. “They’ve tried to kill you, and you think they wouldn’t try it again just because we’ll be in Kooklandia?”

JJ scoffed dismissively. “I aint scared of any of those fools.”

“I’m not letting y’all go without me,” Kie sighed. “I’m the only one who has experience with events like these.”

John B’s eyes lit up, and he looked to Pope for his final verdict. “All right, all right, one Kook party,” Pope said, defeated.

. . . . . .

JJ walked into the office on the first floor of the Cameron residence, searching for things he could steal. As he was walking around, he heard a loud crashing noise come from the next room over. He walked over slowly and heard Rafe yelling. Then he saw Kie bolt out of the room and out the back door.

Kie ran from the house as quickly as her feet would carry her, tears welling up in her eyes.

JJ followed, yelling after her. “Kie! Kie, wait!”

She sped up her stride, running into the dark comfort of the woods. JJ caught up, panting as he stopped running. Their eyes met, and he saw her tears. Immediately, he walked over to her, his eyes swirling with confusion.

“What happened? What did he do?” JJ questioned hurriedly.

“JJ, I need you to be calm right now,” Kiara said, her voice low and shaky.

He took a sharp breath and tossed his hat on the ground. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried. Just–just tell me what happened, please. I need to know you’re okay.”

By now, Pope and John B had caught up to them. “Hey, we saw you guys booking it–oh my god, Kie,” John B said as he took in the state of her. She took a seat on the ground, trying to recollect herself.

“Rafe…he just wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept trying to get me to go upstairs with him, and when I told him I wanted to go find you guys, he grabbed my wrist and threw me against the wall. When I hit the wall, some glass came down and shattered all over the floor. That was the crashing sound you heard.” Kiara cried harder, covering her face with her hands.

Pope and John B shared a look of concern. Their friend was in turmoil, and they hadn’t been there to help her. JJ started to see red.

“Oh that’s it, I’m gonna fucking end him,” JJ said through gritted teeth, balling his fists by his sides.

John B held him back before he could go off and find Rafe. “JJ, think. This isn’t a good time to start a fight.”

JJ shook him off, laughing without an ounce of humor. “I didn’t start it, I’d just like to finish it.”

Kie whimpered where she sat, pulling JJ out of his rage. His body language softened as he sat down beside her. He held her as she cried.

“I don’t expect y’all to drop everything for me,” Kie said through cries.

JJ gently wiped a tear from her cheek. “Listen, Kie, we got you. We’ll get you out of here. I don’t give a shit about any of these people.”

She looked up at Pope and John B. They smiled at her with warmth in their eyes.

John B looked at her tenderly and kept his tone even. “I’m so sorry that Rafe did that. Tell us what you want us to do, and we’ll do it. No questions asked.”

Kie opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it again. JJ held her closer as she sniffled.

“We love you, Kie. What ever will make you feel better right now, we’re up for it,” Pope said softly.

“I wanna go to the beach, just us four.” Kiara brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “My mom would take me there when I was upset as a kid.”

“You got it. Beach it is,” John B said, reaching out his hand to help her up.

As they made their way out of the party, John B walked at the front of the group, while Pope walked in the back. JJ and Kie walked in the middle, keeping their heads low until they reached the van.

. . . . . .

Kie, JJ, Pope, and John B sank into the soft sand, watching the waves sway. Her eyes were dry now, but the sting lingered. Pope handed her a bottle of water and some crackers. She ate them hastily, feeling the adrenaline from earlier wearing off.

JJ tapped Kiara on the shoulder and she looked up. He tilted his head toward the ocean. “We going in or what?”

“It’s kinda cold for that, J,” Kie laughed.

He shrugged. “You know what, fuck it. Let’s go in,” Kie said, stepping out of her shorts and lifting her shirt over her head.

Pope and John B followed. They all swam around until the sun came up.

“Hey JJ?” Kie started as they walked out of the water. JJ looked up at her. “You have my support to beat down on Rafe next time you see him. I’d like that.”

He chuckled lowly, but his eyes were serious. “Oh, he’ll get what’s coming to him.”

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riverrunscold · 3 years

Note

I saw your tags, please info dump to me about your ocs, I wanna hear all about them!! 😊

Sorry I'm late getting to this ask! But I'm so ready to info dump!

Sorry if some of this is worded weird, I took it directly from my character notes which at the moment are doubling as my story developing notes.

Brief story description (so far):

A murder mystery story with the main characters, Rosemary Josephine Wynn, a skeptical detective and Cromwell, a trans spiritualist who is also a dumbass and excitable.

It's the 1920s, these two are working out of a small building that they rented out together, they have been friends since Rose first met Cromwell during an investigation. She loved ribbing him about ghosts not being real and enjoyed how flustered the man got. Though she also disagrees with the business he runs and once thought he was scamming people until she realized he actually believes the shit he sells.

Now, onto the characters!:

Rosemary- Rosemary is a black woman who dresses pretty similar to what women would in the 20s but would include more masculine outfits from time to time when she's conducting detective business. She found people took her more seriously that way but during the story maybe she stops wearing the masculine garb altogether when she realizes that she wants to be able to be herself and still be taken seriously. She also starts styling her hair in more ways, instead of trying as best she can to straighten it every morning or hide it under a hat. She also tends to have a more masculine bravado which she developed over the course of her career, influenced by her three brothers also. She has muscular arms and could beat you up in her favorite pair of heels if she wanted to. Her celtic zodiac animal is the Snake (something Cromwell references often). She's strong, strong-willed and strong-headed. Not at all spiritual, focuses on objective facts more often than not. Makes it a bit hard for her and Cromwell to get along at first. Rosemary is very in her own head and anxious but very silent about it, having experienced a lot of mental and physical abuse from her mother growing up. Her mother raised her as a work machine since she was young, never really stopping to teach her lessons about emotions and sometimes actively punishing her when she displayed them. She was less strict on her brothers, Rosemary thinks it's because she was her least favorite but her mom knew how hard it was for black women to get ahead in life so she made sure she focused on her studies and being good at multiple things (though it does not at all excuse her behavior). Therefore Rosemary ends up emotionally stunted later in life, not opening up often out of subconscious or conscious fear of repercussions. Throughout the story, Cromwell, being the outgoing nonjudgmental guy he is tries to help her open up and ends up being able to do that throughout the course of the story. This could possibly all crescendo into a point in the story where Rosemary shows her affection towards Cromwell through actions, not being great with emotional words or sometimes words in general. Maybe she puts herself in-between Cromwell and someone wishing to do him harm, being the stronger of the two and not wanting him to get hurt. This could possibly be at the expense of her own well-being. This could be a big turning point, Rosemary outwardly showing affection towards someone for the first time in possibly her whole life aside from her brothers. Rosemary suffers with PTSD, a result from her household abuse. She also has a hard time actually getting into relationships, watching her parents own degrade when she was younger. She's also terrified of being left by someone she lets herself get attached to, which is what happened with her dad. Since she has PTSD it often shapes the way she thinks or reacts, which will be incorporated into the story during her perspective chapters.

Cromwell-

Cromwell is actually his last name but he uses it instead of his dead name, one of his teacher's having called him by his last name once making him realize how much he loved not being referred to as his first or as Ms Cromwell. He's not out to anybody, just keeps connected to underground trans channels who also happen to frequent speakeasys around town. He's also Scottish, Cromwell being a Scottish name. He has red hair and freckles all over but his eyes are two different colors, it's almost not noticable. One's blue and one's green. He's a dumbass but I love him. Most people have a hard time understanding what he says because of his accent, a lot of people roll their eyes at him when they hear him speak. He doesn't speak much though because of the uncomfortableness he feels about his voice being too feminine for his liking. The only person he talks to with regularity is Rose but that's only because she basically forces him into arguments about ghosts. Don't worry though, they're all good natured on Rose's part, Cromwell's just dramatic. He also wears very worn clothing, a trench coat and white button up that were both too big for him. He also wore slacks with holes that were caused by moths and, so he claims to Rose's upset, spirits (He's mostly joking when he says it. Mostly).

Him believing in ghosts so much may also have to do with him wanting to be able to contact his sister who had passed away years ago but not even Rose knows about that until later on. His sister was really the only support he had in his family. Cromwell also taught himself how to sew, helped by his mother teaching him when he was younger, so he could create his own binders and give them to other trans men he knows. His celtic zodiac is the Fox, having been born March 31st 1899, making him 21. He's very spiritual and emotional, but very extroverted and wants to know others. He's also a tad flirtatious. He helps Rosemary get more in touch with her feelings or at least tries to. He started with giving her complements but that quickly turned out to not be at all effective, she tended to react to them with sarcasm or annoyance. Cromwell has ADHD. His symptoms also show through when the book shifts to his perspective.

Some thing I didn't mention, they are probably one of my favorite ship dynamics, the skeptic and believer, introvert and extrovert, opposites attract. I love that shit. Also slight rivals to friends to lovers babyy!

This also might be slightly based on Mulder and Scully but shut up xD

#my writing #my ocs #original characters #rosemary josephine wynn #cromwell #entropy #about my ocs #damn i want to continue writing this very badly #ask #thank you for asking!#herondaleatheart #sorry this is late #original story #i really want to draw themmmm #title change:#blow one down

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ephemeral-afterlight · 5 years

Text

Day 11: Stitches

(Don’t give up.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 11: Stitches

Word Count: 1686

Relationships: logince (pre-relationship)

Warnings: Splitting stitches, stab wound (no actual stabbing occurs in this fic! he only breaks the stitches in a still-healing previous injury), blood, mentioned transphobia/transphobic bigotry, cursing, slightly delirious behaviour

A/N: i know it’s a day late. i’m awful. sorry. hopefully dumbass gay roman being smitten with trans boy logan makes up for the wait a little bit

Okay, so maybe Roman should have listened to Patton when he said not to strain himself. And maybe it was a little rash of him to get up and punch the guy despite the strain it caused him. But he doesn’t regret it! Nope! He will gladly take the pain of ripped stitches any day if it means punching a transphobe in the face.

And. Well. Maybe “pain” is a bit of an understatement, because holy shit why does it hurt so much is he dying? According to the cute boy he literally fought a bigot for despite never meeting him before in his life, no. He’ll be fine if he stops squirming, the guy says, but Roman can’t sit still when he’s literally falling in love with this cute stranger, so. Time for funeral arrangements. Maybe his new husband will come weep at his grave, bring him a single red rose to place on his tombstone. It’ll be so poetic, and it’ll be beautiful, and he’ll lay his ghostly hand on his new husband’s shoulder in comfort, and he’ll laugh at Virgil from the grave because he got a boyfriend first!

“Hey! Prince Charming! Don’t zone out on me like that,” his new husband commands, and who’s Roman to ignore such a pretty face? A pretty face, which is currently a lot closer than he anticipates, and Roman almost knocks their heads together when he jolts up in surprise. His new husband is pressing hard on his opened stitches, and although Roman’s sure he knows what he’s doing (he has glasses, and all the smart people have glasses, everyone knows that), it still hurts like a bitch. Pretty boy sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he examines Roman’s stomach, and although the small detail makes Roman’s heart go doki-doki in his chest, he can’t seem to look away from the stranger’s own sharp, focused gaze. Who gave him the right to have eyes like that? All shiny and silvery like metal, or maybe Roman’s third-favourite shade of nail polish.

“I’ll try to wipe off some of the blood, but I can’t do much more than that, not here. It’s too unsanitary and I don’t have proper equipment. I won’t risk infection with impatience. The paramedics will take care of it,” his new husband says plainly, brushes his fingers against Roman’s side, and Roman is pretty sure he’s dying. There’s no way that this isn’t an angel. Although, Roman never expected that angels would be so… bossy. The handsome stranger instructs him to keep pressure on his side, details how exactly to hold his hands to his stained skin. Maybe he could be a little gentler about it? Especially when he puts his hands over Roman’s own, and presses harder, and draws a groan from Roman’s throat. “Oh, stop whining. It’s your fault you decided to be unnecessarily reckless for no reason.”

“Ha! For-- For no reason? I would punch that guy ‘gain for you if I h’d the chance!” Roman exclaims, slurred in pain yet loud in the buzzing energy of the outdoors cafe he's probably gonna die in. Honestly, maybe he's okay with dying right now. Yeah, he's sitting here sprawled in a cafe chair bleeding out, but he also has his new husband with him, so who's the real winner here?

"Your new husband, huh? I wasn't aware that we were married already. Shouldn’t you at least ask your potential suitor on a date first?" the pretty stranger muses, face stoic, but there's a teasing glint in his eyes and a subtle smirk as he uses some napkins to wipe a spot of blood off of Roman's hip. The touch sends a shiver down his spine, lends itself to a sense of familiarity despite them never having met before now. Is he talking out loud? Those thoughts were supposed to stay in his head. Hopefully his new husband isn’t annoyed by long rambles at two a.m., because that’s like… Roman’s whole aesthetic. “Although, I suppose the legal and financial benefits of marriage are a positive, despite the tradition itself being an unnecessarily exorbitant game of ‘who can spend the most money and look as rich and successful as possible’ whilst perpetuating wildly amatonormative societal expectations of seeming stable to your friends and family purely through means of surface appearance. But sure, weddings are fun.”

“Haah… Y’sound like Virgil,” Roman mutters as he knocks his head back to rest on the table behind him. The handsome stranger immediately puts his cleaner hand underneath his head and lifts it up, cradling the dead weight with a small frown. “H-- Sorry, wanna… wanna sleep. Virgil a’ways says that weddings are stupid. You guys’d get along. Wait, no, that’s the worst idea I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot of shitty ideas.”

“Mm, I’m sure you have. Punching a transphobe for a stranger is definitely one to add to the list. Don’t fall asleep, Prince Charming. You’re not losing that much blood. Hey, you-- how far away are the paramedics?” And… wow. Even the way he speaks makes Roman want to snatch him up. He’s so authoritative, and obviously doesn’t take shit from anyone, and Roman could probably listen to him talk forever. He’ll be like his own personal audiobook. An ASMR YouTuber that lives in his house and shows off that amazing voice of his but also gives him cuddles because that’s what cute husbands do together. That’s the dream.

“An… ASMR YouTuber? You sure have strange priorities.”

“‘S important! Oh, hey… wha’s your name? I have to know how t’ introduce y’a to my friends. ‘Oh, hey Virgil, this is my husband… Bob McBookshelf. I got a cute boyfriend before you, give me fifty dollars.’ Y’know, like that,’ Roman asks, and if he’s being honest, he doesn’t even really know what he’s talking about anymore. He just knows that talking makes him more lucid, and his new husband told him to stay awake, so he’s going to try his best to do just that.

“Ah. Well, my name unfortunately is not Bob McBookshelf. It is Dr. Chae, professionally, but you may refer to me as Logan if you’d like,” Logan says, Dr. Chae, and Roman is taken aback. Not only is his new husband cute, and has the best voice he’s ever heard, but he’s also smart? And a doctor?!

“Woah. That’s so cool. I can’t believe I’m g’nna marry a doctor. Wait, does that mean I get your last name? Roman Chae. That sounds weird. Fits you better. Guess we don’t have to change our las’ names. And! You’re a doctor, ‘f course y’a can’t change it now. Wow… a doctor. You are the coolest person I’ve ever met. And I met Beyoncé once. She didn’t see me or talk to me, but it was still awesome. And you-- you’re a doctor. You must be suuuuuper smart. Already got a college degree ‘n’ stuff. But you… don’t look old.”

Logan’s eyes flick up to meet his, incredulity written across his face, and then it morphs into something almost fond as he lets out an amused huff of a laugh. He looks beautiful, even as he shoves his hands back on Roman’s open wound again, and Roman thinks maybe he’s a masochist or something. He should be angry at the rough treatment, but somehow, he doesn’t really care that much. Oddly enough, he trusts this stranger, his new husband, and Roman could probably get stabbed again except this time by this guy and even so he’d be the one apologizing. “I’m 24. My school experience went by very quickly.”

“Ohhhhh… you’re one of those. Those… smarty-pants people. Smarty people. Pants people. Logan, am I dying?” Roman feels delirious, and he probably is. Logan snickers quietly, smiles small and soft and-- and-- Roman has a feeling that if the blood loss doesn’t kill him, Logan’s adorable smile will. Thankfully, he can hear sirens outside, and that must mean an ambulance is here.

Wait.

“Wai-wai-wait, Log’n, why’d y’a call an ambulance? I’m fine,” Roman asks, reassures even as he moans dramatically when another stinging ache reverberates from the wound. “It hurts but I c’n take it! Had t’a… had t’a before! Got stabbed, did’ja know that? It sucked. My best friend… ex-best friend did it to me. Thought she was cool. She was… not cool. But! I don’t need a hospital. Jus’ a… just a little. Little papercut. Small. I c’n sleep it off. I’m strong.”

“You absolutely can not. You do understand that you didn’t just get stabbed, right? Your “ex-best friend” slashed at your stomach. The laceration is at least eight inches in length, who knows how deep, and you broke a majority of the stitches with the stunt you pulled. There is a very real possibility of you bleeding out without medical assistance. Sit still so I can make sure pressure stays on the wound, and then the paramedics will pick you up, and then your stitches will be re-sewn. There is no need for panic, but you can’t fall asleep, either.”

And, well. Maybe Logan has a point. She did yell something about splitting him in half when she did it, but Roman doesn’t really remember the encounter that well. But Logan’s a doctor! And he’s smart! So he obviously knows what he’s talking about. He can’t die before he gets married to his beautiful doctor husband. That would be the worst ending to the Disney movie that is his life. Well, if Disney had stayed true to the source content and featured a lot more gore and dramatic gay lamenting.

“Yes, yes, I’ll be your doctor husband, as you say, as long as you take me on a date first. Now hold. Still,” Logan demands, exasperated, and Roman isn’t even aware he was moving. Maybe he’s just wiggling because all of his love for his cool new husband is bursting out of him. And he says so, manages to get Logan to crack that pretty smile again, and Roman’s injury hurts just a little less.

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anarcoqueer1994 · 5 years

Note

I've seen so many trans!Tj fics so can you do trans!Cyrus?

So I really liked this prompt(I mean like as a trans non-binary person, any excuse to shamelessly include more trans characters is great. <3) I hope you like the story!

TJ opened his front door to find his best friend standing in the rain, looking seconds away from falling apart. He instinctively pulled the brown eyed boy into his arms (and out of the storm.) As he hugged him he whispered “Underdog? What happened?” TJ knew that his clothes are going to be soaked from holding the rain drenched Cyrus, but he doesn’t care. He never has when it came to that boy.

“Reed…” was all that Cyrus could managed to push across his teeth. It came out muffled as Cyrus’ face was buried in the taller boy’s shoulder.

A flash of red crossed TJ’s eyes as anger started to fill his head. He should of guessed. It’s always Reed. Cyrus and Reed had been dating on and off since their freshmen year. TJ had hoped by now, more than three years later, that Cyrus would stop going back to him. It was a constant cycle. Reed would hurt and break Cyrus down, and TJ would always be there to put back the pieces of his shattered friend. But then like clockwork, Reed would weasel his way back into the picture. He would do some grand gesture and Cyrus would forgive him.

Honestly, TJ believed that Cyrus was too nice for his own good. He always wanted to see the best in everyone. But it gets him hurt so often. TJ has never hated anyone as much as he hates Reed. How could anyone ever make this beautiful brunette feel so bad? How could Reed make him cry like this? A thought crosses TJ’s mind briefly. "If I was with Cyrus, I would never make him cry…”

TJ must have been shaking in anger, because Cyrus pulls slightly away from the hug. “Teej…”

“I’m sorry. I just hate that he hurt you again…”

Cyrus looks down, refusing to meet the green eyes boring into him. “Yea….I think it’s really over this time.”

TJ bites his bottom lip, forcing the words he want to say to stay in his mouth. He wants to believe Cyrus that it is really over but is having trouble with that. Cyrus has said that before. Fuck. Why does his friend love such an asshole? Why can’t Cyrus see how much he loves him. How he would never make him feel bad. How he would cherish everyday with him. But he can’t say this out loud, not now at least. So he chokes out “What happened?” instead.

Cyrus feels his breath catch in his throat. He whimpers "Can we get out of the doorway, first?"

TJ nods and heads to the steps leading upstairs. Cyrus follows him having been in this house a million times. They move softly past Amber's closed bedroom door. She is on a date with Andi. The Kippen siblings' parents are both working 3rd shift tonight so they are alone in the house.

They soon reach the bedroom Cyrus has sat in many nights before, crying on TJ's shoulder over some new terrible thing Reed has done. When TJ closes the door behind them, he walks to his closet. He pulls out a pair of sweatpants and white T-shirt and throws them over to his friend.

He cracks a smile "Here, dry clothes, you look like a wet rat."

He manages to get a small laugh out of that from the other boy as he takes the clothes. TJ looks away as Cyrus changes, looking back in time to only see a small glimpse of the tiny scars from Cyrus' top surgery a year prior.

He thinks back to that time for a moment. Reed had barely come by while he recovered. Everyone else had been there a lot and TJ practically moved in. He was there everyday even when Cyrus told him he didn't have to "waste" all his time with him. But Reed kept making excuses and Cyrus accepted them. He accepted them every damn time. He pushes the thoughts away, he doesn't want to get more upset.

He focuses back on the boy who is now sitting crossed leg on the floor, leaning his back on TJ's bed. TJ's heart breaks at the site of the puffy red eyes and broken face staring up at him. He steps closer before taking a seat next to his best friend. He wraps his arm around Cyrus' shoulder and pulls him close, waiting patiently for him to be ready to talk.

"I caught him cheating..." Cyrus finally says breaking the silence.

TJ's grip around Cyrus gets tighter. He can't believe anyone would cheat on the amazing person sitting next him. What makes this worse though, is that this isn't even the first time Reed has cheated. The first time was sophomore year when he made out with this girl Andrea at some game. The second time was with Lester of all people. And now he has done it again. The blond whispers, "I'm so, so sorry Cyrus..."

"Its my own fault..." Cyrus says in a defeated voice. "I should of known better than to take him back again..."

"This isn't on you, Cy...you are just a nice person who can be too trusting at times. I love that about you." TJ smiles softly.

Cyrus turns to look towards the wall to the side of them. "Well it definitely over this time."

"Wanna talk about it?"

A tear wells up again in Cyrus' eye as he nods. He shakily begins to recount what happened an hour prior.

~~~~~~~~~~~

He and and his now ex-boyfriend had been cuddling on the couch in Reed's living room. Cyrus had his head on the other boy's shoulder, lazily scrolling through Instagram. His heart dropped when he saw a picture that Reed had been tagged in.

Reed had visited a college last weekend. Well apparently it wasn't just informational. The picture showed him obviously at a frat party, with some guy kissing on his neck. Cyrus immediately pulls away.

"Hey? What's wrong baby?" Reed scrunches up his eyebrows in confusion. In response, Cyrus hands him the phone. When he looks down at the picture, he gets a guilty look on his face.

"Cy..." he says quietly.

"Don't 'Cy' me. What is going on in this picture? Who is this guy?"

"He was just some random guy I met at a party I went to when I did the college overnight ..."

"Well why is this random guy kissing MY boyfriend?" Cyrus chokes out, trying to appear like his heart didn't feel like Reed stepped on it.

"Cyrus, I'm so sorry. It was a dumb party and there was drinking and you know how it is with guys sometimes? Like sometimes things just happen."

"No, that's not an excuse!" Cyrus' voice gets louder. "Guys can control their actions, even hormonal teenage boys! I have never cheated on you!"

The yelling causes Reed to yell back. Without thinking he yells "You wouldn't understand! You aren't even a real...!" He stops when he realizes what is about to leave his mouth.

Cyrus takes an oddly calm, shallow breath. He prods. "A real what?"

"Cyrus..."

"A real what, Reed? A real guy?"

"I...I didn't say that." Reed tries to defend.

Cyrus closes his eyes momentarily. When he opens them again, tears are falling down his face. "You didn't have to say it...I know what you meant. I thought you were one of the few people who actually accepted me 100% without a doubt. I was wrong. " Reed tries to reach for Cyrus' hand but is rejected.

With that, Cyrus turned and ran out of the house into the rain. Reed called after him but he did not stop. He didn't stop running until his body instinctively led him to TJ's door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm going to kick his fucking ass..." TJ spit out. He has never wanted to do something more.

"Teej, please don't. He isn't worth it..." Cyrus pleads softly as he turns his head awkwardly to meet TJ's face for the first time in a while.

TJ responds by whispering. "Okay...but Cy, you know what he said wasn't true, right?"

Cyrus feels a pange of sadness radiate from his chest. In a voice that TJ has to strain to hear, he whimpers "I guess...it’s just..." he voice becomes overrun by sharp sobs he can't control. His cheeks were stained with tears as he tries to continue. "I'm so stupid..."

TJ turns so he can throw both arms around his hurting friend. "No...no you're not..." He traces soothing circles over Cyrus' back.

"TJ, I...I am." He continues to cry as he speaks. "Part of me is so scared that no one will ever really love me....like the whole me. The reason I kept taking Reed back was because I thought... despite whatever he did...I thought, he at least didn't see me as some freak. I thought he saw me like he would see any cis guy... But I was wrong." Cyrus can't talk anymore. The tears overwhelmed him, and he is burying his face into the other boy's shoulder. He notices the vague scent of citrus that always seemed to radiate off TJ's skin.

TJ pulls him closer somehow, holding on so tight that he was threatening never to let go. "I'm so sorry...I'm sorry..."

Cyrus lifts his head slightly, staying in the jock's arms. " I should be apologizing for ruining your night with my drama...I'm sorry...and..thank you..."

"No problem Cy...but please don't apologize. You could never ruin my night..."

Cyrus felt his heart skip a beat as his words got caught in the back of his throat. The feelings that he always tried to suppress for his best friend came bubbling up. It was hard not to want TJ especially when he was being so sweet and kind. But Cyrus had been dating Reed so he always ignored the way he felt for TJ.

But...now he is single...maybe he could....

TJ noticed how Cyrus had seemingly zoned out. "Muffin...what are you thinking about?"

Cyrus blushes at the familiar nickname. He is hoping TJ can't tell through the redness and tear streaks from crying. He answers in a hesitant voice. "You actually... I don't know how I got so lucky to have you in my life...Like I've never had someone I care about so much. Don't get me wrong, I love Jonah, and Marty, and Amber, and of course Buffy and Andi...but with you its different. When I came here, I wasn't consciously thinking about it. My body just brought me here, like you were the only person I wanted to talk to after what happened."

Now it was TJ's turn to blush and it was very obvious as he smiles down at the floor, arms still around his the cute, awkward, sweet, dork he has loved since the 7th grade. He looks back up, eyelids fluttering for a moment before making eye contact with Cyrus.

"You make me want to be around you, Cyrus. You are just the best person I know. And...and...I hate Reed so much. And a big part of the reason why was because I didn't like how he would always hurt you. You didn't deserve that." He pauses briefly trying to decide if he was going to continue. But Cyrus stares at him intently, so he continues.. "But a small part of me hates him for another reason. I'm jealous of him. He got to be your boyfriend and I was just the best friend. And I love being that to you, I really do. But also...I wanted to be the one who got to hold your hand, the one to take you on dates, to kiss you... I would never make you feel bad about who you are. I love every part of you. I would never hurt you. I would never take you for granted, Underdog.”

“TJ…” Cyrus whispers. “Do…do you mean that?”

“Cyrus, why do you think I have never dated anyone? Its not like I’m short on options. “ TJ smirks playfully. But Cyrus knows he is right. The other gay guys(and of course girls) fawn over TJ. Who could blame them though? TJ keeps on. “I just have only had eyes for one person, but up until now they were taken.” TJ lean forward, face inches from Cyrus’. “God, you are so cute.”

Cyrus meet TJ’s gaze nervously. “Really? Even though I’m…”

TJ cuts him off before he can finish. “Yes of course. That doesn’t matter to me, you know that. It never has.”

Cyrus blushes. “TJ, I think…no I know. I love you so much…not just love you. I am in love with you”

TJ practically chokes on the breathe he didn’t even know he was holding. He gives the other boy a little smile that tells Cyrus that TJ is just as much in love with him. The basketball player reaches his hand out, cupping the brunette’s cheek. He softly asks. “Can you kiss me?”

Cyrus bites his bottom lip before nodding. He leans forward slowly and gently places his lips against TJ’s. It feels delicate and soft, almost like he is afraid to break TJ into a million pieces. He knows that this is his friend’s first kiss. When he pulls away, TJ is smiling at him like he has just seen him in a brand new light. The taller boy whispers “Thank you…for that…for making that happen for us.” The more words that leave his mouth, the redder he gets.

“No problem, Teej…and if you want, we can do that more often.” Cyrus winks.

“I think I would like that…” TJ replies before pulling Cyrus into his arms. Something tells Cyrus that he doesn’t plan to let go anytime soon.

#Andi Mack #tj x cyrus #tyrus #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #trans!Cyrus #cyrus trans

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