#sorry im just that kind of person

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[pbnmj]

what was supposed to just be pavitr and meera jain spiralled into a LOT of spiders in formalwear/red carpet outfits.... most of them referenced off met gala outfits and then adjusted to suit my own tastes LOL

#atsv #itsv #spider-man #my art #particularly i reffed zendaya's outfit from when she wore that sari for meera. and then a jj valaya look for pavitr :) #i think it was mbj with noir's but its a poor copy. also felicia and noir are subtly matching :) #AND GWEN. IS WEARING . ONE OF TIMOTHEE CHALAMET'S MET GALA OUTFITS LMFMFFAAOOOOOOOO #spiderman #meera jain #pavitr prabhakar #gwen stacy #miles morales #peter b parker #mary jane watson #mayday parker #there are. so many actually . #i cant do it . i wont tag that many people im sorry #also meera jain is very much based off of aishwarya rai. and also she dyes her hair with henna. thats why i drew this i just #could not get it out of my head !!! pavitr i love you!!!!!!!!!!! #i also apologise in advance for the kind of person i will become when i get him in atsv. the south asian agenda is very real

[hualianisms]

on twitter here and here, forayuarchive has been talking about how LLH & FDB really act like an old married couple, and i couldn't stop thinking about it too. as a native chinese speaker, the level of informality, familiarity and bickering, in how FDB and LLH speak to one another (especially in the later episodes) are reminiscent of how bickering old married chinese couples are often depicted.

when FDB is angry/upset at LLH, he calls him "死莲花" - "Damn Lotus/Damn Lianhua". the way FDB says it is in a manner where you might imagine old spouses scolding one another when nagging/bickering (to clarify, it's not romantic per se, but it's extremely informal & familiar).

for example, in ep 35, FDB calls him Damn Lotus in the note he left LLH when he went to look for the styx flower. CN fanghua fans on weibo managed to painstakingly transcribe the note (see forayuarchive's tweet about it here with the eng translation) - it's extremely informal and reads like a short note a spouse/partner would write when leaving their shared home in a hurry.

i also still can't believe LLH calls FDB "xiaobao", it speaks for itself. 小宝 Xiao Bao (literal meaning is "little treasure") is usually something you call literal babies/children AND is FDB's family nickname for him so if you're calling a grown man that in front of his parents and his colleagues and strangers and literally everyone, then he's either your biological family or he's your bf/partner. (it's a level of intimacy that would make me feel embarrassed as a third party hearing LLH call FDB that in front of everyone😭)

and not to mention the deleted line of FDB calling a sick/unconscious LLH "xiaohua'er". (see video & meta of the deleted line by forayuarchive here, translation of the deleted line by ttiesanjiao here). xiaohua'er is so intimate, definitely something one might call a lover 😭

(*for more name meta, see forayuarchive's twitter thread meta about all the names that FDB and LLH call one another, and in what situations each particular name is used)

in any case these are NOT what a disciple calls his shifu or a son calls his dad. these nicknames are far too informal and familiar - no son talks to his father like that and no disciple talks to his shifu like that. (now, an angry spouse however...)

(there's also the fact that FDB explicitly rejects their relationship as being anything other than that between 2 adult equals - when LLH jokes that FDB should bow to him as disciple, FDB immediately rejects the idea, saying that he was only joking about wanting to be LLH's disciple, that FDB is too old now. he firmly sees himself as an adult equal to LLH.)

tl;dr within months of knowing each other, LLH & FDB act as familiar as an old couple 10 years married, skipping the entire courtship stage 😭

#fanghua #mysterious lotus casebook #fang duobing #li lianhua #莲花楼 #mlc meta #there's more to say about the names they use for each other but this post is alr getting long #sometimes i see ppl saying that LLH and FDB are like dad and son and um... well you can all interpret anything you want #im just saying that as a native chinese speaker the way they talk to each other is NOT shifu & disciple at all #(UNLESS IT'S THE MO RAN AND CHU WANNING KIND OF DISCIPLE AND SHIFU/SHIZUN) #its even less son & dad😭😭 (v much NOT son & parent dynamic like omfg even if a child and parent were v close they would NEVER talk to #their parent like that in chinese culture. NEVER. bc it'd be so rude that at that point ur rejecting ur dad if u call him like that) #(as in straight up not seeing that person as ur dad at all. rejecting them as a parent entirely) #(bc FDB does NOT see LLH as anything other than an equal) #compare FDB & his mom - he is v close to her. he is playful with her but still always calls her Niang ('mother') #edited the post several times im so sorry for how many times i edited this

[charrfie]

#im so sad it was such a good ask blog too but my mood has been so severely impacted by it i literally could not handle it anymore #big surprise your favorite character being put through constant and severe turmoil is emotionally damaging. who wouldve guessed #it makes me sad people are so fucking mean too :^( #<- in relation to some of the asks folks send in to guide stories along #like sure cute aggression yeah whatever but some of yall are straight up cruel for no reason. ill never understand it #i really wish i had the heart to keep following this blog bc its such a huge and beautiful passion project... but im sensitive:^( #even if its fictional #sorry to the mutual i had to break </3 wahhhh #late night personal posting. goodnight #laika originals #oh should i tag this as uhhh #vent #? kind of not really im just talking here

[oddberryshortcake]

I think the Knight of Dawn being "a coward who is unable to stand up for what is right and does as he's ordered to" and "someone who cares deeply about his family and did everything he could so that Silver could live a happy and normal life in the future" are two statements that can coexist.

#And Lilia knows this too which is huge #I love the complexities brought up in this chapter #I love how it really weighs in on Lilia's desire for world peace because war turns normally compassionate people do to terrible things #and no one wins when babies are orphaned #I love how far an act of kindness can go too #The Knight warned Lilia about Henrick's plan to kidnap the egg and gave Lilia an opening to escape #and 400 years later Lilia rescued Silver from his blessing turned curse and raised him and loved him the way his parents would've wanted #I love this fairytale #and the Knight is in the wrong but its kind of sad to see him being reduced down to his worst action #He's a tragedy but there's more to a person than just who they are at their worst #I'm gonna lose my mind when part 5 comes over here im sorry for what I become #twst #twst chapter 7 #twst spoilers #twisted wonderland #twst silver #twst knight of dawn

[fastidious-and-a-mess]

guys can we PLEASE stop shipping riz w people. honestly at this point i kind of don’t even care if you yourself are also acespec/arospec/aspec.

yes, aspec people can be in relationships, etc etc, but riz specifically has expressed over and over and over again that that is something he personally has absolutely zero interest in.

he’s not just canonically aroace, he also canonically does not want a relationship.

“aroace people can be happy in romantic/sexual/queerplatonic relationships” is a true statement. “people who do not want to be in any kind of monogamous committed relationship can be happy in a monogamous committed relationship” is quite a bit harder to argue.

i’m just so sick of it. i’m glad we all understand that there’s nuance to aspec identities, and everyone’s expressions of and experiences with their own aspec identities are going to be different and personal.

like, it’s not even just about the asexual/aromantic aspect anymore. it’s also just refusing to let him not want to be in a relationship. why are so many people so resistant to the idea that he does not want to be in a relationship. like genuinely, why can you not accept that there are people who just don’t want that. who would just be unhappy in a relationship. why can’t you wrap your head around the idea that wanting a relationship is not a thing that everyone secretly wants. like, No, he hasn’t just not “met the right person” yet. because there is no right person. because he’s simply not interested.

this post is kind of rambly and not as effectively phrased as it could be i think but idc.

TL;DR: riz being aroace is not the only reason to not ship him. he also, explicitly and repeatedly, has stated he does not want to be in a relationship. “aspec people can be in relationships” is completely irrelevant because regardless riz simply does not want a relationship. please just respect thag.

edit: plz don’t like this is u wont rb. i won’t guilt you into rbing, it’s ur blog i’m not ur dad do what u want etc etc. it’s just irritating for me personally to see ppl interacting w this but not willing to actually put it on their blogs.

#sorry to keep this ‘’’’’’’ discoure ‘’’’’’’ alive #im just sooooo tired #i just don’t understand how so many people can see this character have such a significant part of characterization be about how #he does not want to be in a Relationship at all and how that affects him and his relationships with the people in his life #and then go ‘what if he was in a Relationship with his best friend’ #like come on!! #i don’t care how you define the Relationship. i don’t care about your own personal identity. #i don’t care about whatever reasons you come up with the justify why it’s actually totally fine #the bottom line is riz does not want that for himself and you’re deciding that that’s not worth respecting #sorry fabriz enjoyers but i wish you guys would just stfu #dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak #edit continued: ik it’s all just online fandom stuff. but it’s also representative of a larger issue #of people just being incapable of comprehending that some people don’t want relationships. or even past that; that some people actively want #to Not be in relationships. it’s people coming into contact with a person (character) like that and believing that that just can’t be true #that that person Must secretly actually want a relationship. even if they don’t know it. they just haven’t met the right person yet. etc etc #if you can’t give up outting riz in any kind of relationship then you cannot accept that some people really truly do not want relationships #that’s FINE. PLEASE just respect that

[pineappical]

father and son

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanart #henry lasso #remember when jason sudeikis said that ted lasso was a show about bad fathers and we all thought it was about ted's own father and how his #passing caused ted to become the kind person he currently is. and we thought that was the 'bad father' part of him. and then s3 rolls #around and it just hits you how his passing did cause that and More. how ted became so afraid to let down others. to let down henry by not #Winning The Whole Thing. but yeah in the end you just have to try #and sometimes i wonder if ted ever knew that he was a good father (etc etc that conversation with dr sharon in 2x10) #despite the distance and his divorce.. cherish the moment he had with his son instead of the time they spent away from each other #pn.art #SORRY THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR THE PAST 3 HOURS ITS 5AM RN I KNOW I HAVE A SHITASS SCHEDULE </3 #ted lasso spoilers #i have sooo much stuff i wanna say about this and i know ill forget to say it later but god. god i just want him to know hes enough soo bad #<- normal about fictional characters #babygirl you are so full of problems they rarely addressed. godbless #IM NOT MAKING SENSE I JUST LOVEEEEE HIMMMM :((((

[treasureplcnet]

also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill

#sorry jane who heard this on her dms but now im posting it to tumblr cause im having a category 5 woman moment. AND ALTERNATIVELY: #i am also EXTREMELY obsessed with how its a time loop and the idea (so sorry tumblr user whose post i have lost and was inspired by) #weissman was just so fucking hard to deal with that they made sure that he was in their pockets. i just like the idea of the loop-- #--having like. fixed points that elias would need to ensure the dystopia (body is covered up/the investigation closes/etc) but #how they get there is a slightly slower process and the earliest loops were the messiest/most unpredictable #and what we see in the show itself is like. the most streamlined version over hundreds of loops and attempts #so karl specifically. lonely that he is and determined to survive. AND with a cruel streak against people he doesn't like #kept nearly blowing their operation so they began to incorporate him in it instead #there's also another tragedy in there if /esther/ is what they realise works best against him.. #just love and kindness for a girl that weissman comes to see as family and they immediately exploit it after learning during an early loop #im ignoring specific plot points here (polly seemingly panicking when esther shows up at the station) but I DO NOT CARE. #THERE'S ANGST HAPPENING RN. IM CREATING SCENARIOS TO HURT ME #now if i could write coherently this would be written as a fic but im stuck writing too long textposts #karl weissman #bodies 2023 #bodies netflix #sorry to the other detectives. weissman in particular is my babygirl who i devote most of my brainpower to #personal

[ganondoodle]

didnt want to talk about it but i feel like im actually going insane

anti-queer laws are popping up everywhere, fascism is on the rise in every country around me, including my own which is famous for the atrocities of its past that happened not even 100 years ago and only got this far bc no one thought he'd get through with it

a pandemic that WASNT defeated and is STILL around and endangering everyone yet nigh everyone acts like its a thing of the past

the entire creativity of humanity being stolen and chewed up in a maschine so companies can make an endless shitty new schlock of media to pay even less to even less people and earn more or for some entitled tech bros thinking that all art is is the jpeg on screen deluding themselves into believing they now have a privilege denied to them by the talent-god even tho that god never existed and the only one who denies them the ability to make art is themselves

the climate visibly going haywire and few things are done against it, if at all even

and now i am watching a genocide happen while every piece of media joins into the propaganda of the oppressor, of course i dont think hamas is good, a terror organisation is a terror organisation no matter who they claim to fight for, and i am not defending them, hell no, but why are we being told to cheer on an entire country being wiped out for something a small group did, knowing that wiping palestine from existence has been the goal of israel all this time and this has now given them a good excuse and international support to finish it off?? the war russia started agaisnt ukraine is still ongoing, isnt there also a genocide happenign in armenia? and one against a minority in china as well?? probably even more i havent even heard about..

i didnt know about the details of whats happening to palestine until a few days ago either but now, on top of everything, i feel like im losing it, what even is happening, how am i supposed to just .. go on with my daily life while all of that is going on, not losing your faith into humanity has become a real challenge over these last few years even tho i know its vital to keep it alive bc the pit of thinking its all lost anyway is deep and only makes things worse for everyone

#ganondoodles talks #personal #tw genocide #tw genocide mention #im sorry for that sudden shift in tone #i just #its making my brain hurt #i am trying not to doomscroll #and limit what i read and see #but i also want to stay informed #i just wish people could let people live #or better ... that these kinds of regimes never got the power to do shit like this #so many lives - culture and history deliberately destroyed for what #for what???? #i might be less online for a bit bc its hard to stomach all of this constantly

[medicalunprofessional]

flood

~♫

#caligosto loboto #dr loboto #psychonauts #nightmaretheater #if you havent noticed i reaaally like flood by tool #this took 10 hours combined time of drawing 🕊️🕊️🕊️redid the sketch like 5 times lik #this is actually kind of personal to me…. #as a child i had a reeaaaallly oppressive fear of my house flooding #like. i couldnt bare to hear a faucet running. thats how bad it was #all those flood damage relief commercials on tv scared me. #i very distinctly rememebr on of a house flooding thru the floor vents very quickly. and at the end the front door broke down.. scary #the psychological damage young me endured from the commercials #also ignore the wonky perspedtive on the crib i kind of exploded after trying to perspective for like an hour straight #its okay. it works. geometry is just weird in the psychonauts world #sheds a tear #oh the horrors..!.!.!!.! yipes #this is my ‘bobo exposed heart image’ to the cycle knots fanbase. real ones would know #drawing this was an experience man #thats why i vanished for a bit… sorry. ‘hey johnny got into str-‘ dont care im making a masterpiece #okay enough rambling im sorry #tips down glasses. send post

[jazzzzzzhands]

oh please take this very cute and silly whiteboard doodle Wally looks kinda cute with clown nose!! ahahaha

#im sorry but the woody mouth stays #this is just what happens on whiteboard #im still giggling someone corrected my irl typo #put a lil bowww in him haiiirrrrr #hes got a nose now! #im kissing it! #oh this was kind of a collab!! #someone colored my wally and it made me wanna play with the collored lines! #bloomynmoon!! #very sweet person!! #jazzdoodles #oh its been a while since i used that tag!! #a doodle is somewhere between a sketch and art!! #i miss that tag! #i need to do more doodles #wally darling #how did i forget that tag !! #it was the nose he was in disguise #welcome home #welcome home wally

[t0bey]

some headcanons ive formed over the years that i rlly like,,

#also sorry a lot of survs arent on here im the kind of person who circulates handfuls of ppl in my brain when it comes to solid headcanons #so if a persons not on here theyre either just cis or i havent formed a solid preference on what i think their relationship w gender is #anyways emil mesmer transhet king

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt? #i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other?? #why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this?? #i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us?? #im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

[gncrezan]

#noticing that. well . obvious bias towards hades cause its literally a hades-persephone retelling #BUT . i know people must be out there who romance others?????? #fields of asphodel #asphodelgame #foa #personal #kind of . im just interested . please answer #also my own disproportionate amount of hermes art is making me laugh . sorry

[tangledinink]

i dont think i really wanna do anything anymore is the thing.

#nothing is as good as i want it to be #and everything is hard. #and i just wanna sleep forever #everything just feels kind of pointless because im always disappointed #i wanna be BETTER #vent #personal #i wasnt gonna post this but then i remembered that my therapist said that i should be sad on main #and its practice emotional vulnerability #so im posting it anyway #sorry

[charophyte]

“I can fix him” “I can make him worse”

okay but what if it was perfect just the way it is 😩

#ashton #my art #oc x canon #bg3 spoilers #bg3 the emperor #bg3 tav #mind flayer #everyones arguing wether or not to trust it but im just like. dont care didnt ask now lets make out- #i feel like ash is the one person it meets that understands that its a mind flayer and that #even though its not really good or nice (ash can relate) it doesnt mean its evil or doesnt deserve to live #its not abt feeling sorry for it or trusting it its just. understanding #id almost say sympathy #its also about the nasty sex but thats kind of unrelated