Tumgik
#sorry if you came to this blog hoping i would never talk about myself
milktei · 8 months
Note
Woah I'm new here in Tumblr but I'm glad I came across your blog! Not sure if you're accepting requests but thoughts on Angst/Comfort where trust issues comes after Atsumu (or Kageyama 🙇‍♂️) does something that upsets their s/o??
Man of Many Words
Tumblr media
Miya Atsumu x gn!Reader
Genre: Angst with some fluff at the end
Warnings: none(?)
Requests: Closed for now :|
not edited
a/n: First of all i’m so sorry this took so long anon but I hope that this somewhat fulfills your request ;-;. Writers block is crazy I was pumping out one shots so easily and then bam I hate everything I write. The ending of this one in particular was difficult for me but i hope it suffices :’). anyways requests are still closed for now but i’m hoping to write something that will help the creative juices flow again
Tumblr media
It is well known among Atsumu’s friends and family that he tends to talk. A lot.
It was something you found endearing about him when you first started dating. Whenever you were with Atsumu, awkward silences were few and far between. There was always something he could talk about it.
For the most part you were happy to listen and talk about whatever it was he rambled about that day. His limitless passion was part of why you fell in love with him.
Still, the habit of his had some drawbacks.
“Oh, congratulations by the way!”
You turn your gaze away from the restaurant window and look at your friend in confusion.
“Congratulations on what?”
It was your friend’s turn to look confused, “On the big promotion silly!”
There was a pause as you took in their words. “How do you even know about that?” You spluttered. “I just got the news a couple days ago. I was planning a big announcement and everything.”
“Oh I ran into Atsumu at the grocery store yesterday and he told me!” their gaze softened when they saw the defeated look on your face. “I’m sorry I thought he would’ve told you”
You waved your hands in front of you, “no no it’s not your fault… I’m not very surprised at this point. I was just hoping to wait for all the paperwork to go through before telling anyone.”
“Well if it’s any comfort I’m proud of you y/n.”
The smile you gave them was bittersweet, “thanks.”
———
Needless to say, you were a bit peeved when you got home that day, though your boyfriend didn’t seem to notice.
“Hi babe! how was lunch?” He called from where he sat on the couch.
You stared blankly at the back at his head for a moment, “fine.”
“That’s great! I was thinkin’ for dinner we could order out ya know? This commercial came on and-“
“Why did you tell f/n about the promotion?”
He paused and finally turned to look at you. Taking in your frustrated state, still, he shrugged, “it seemed like a good time.”
You let your bag fall to the ground before fully stepping into the living room “Atsumu I told you that I wanted to wait, it would have only taken another week.”
Now standing up from the couch, the confusion that was evident on Atsumu’s face only served to fuel your anger.
“But this is such exciting news y/n! There’s no time like the present!”
“Atsumu that’s not for you to decide! That was my news to tell!”
“Like you said, you were gonna tell them eventually!” He raised his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry but you know that this is just how I am! I was just so excited for you I couldn’t help myself.”
You left that fight defeated that night, unable to think of any comeback, because yes, you did know Atsumu. You knew how your life was never your own being with him. You knew the extent of just how stubborn he was and how ignorant he could be to the world around him. Trying to wrap his mind around something could feel like pulling teeth sometimes.
After managing to get through a tense dinner, life went on. You did end up celebrating with your closest friends and family and soon after you began to take on your new responsibilities.
Unfortunately, Atsumu continued to act as if he hadn’t completely crossed a boundary you had set. He continued to talk about your lives with his friends it seemed that you couldn’t go a full week without somebody asking you about something you never told them about.
The pure helplessness you felt that day remained lingering within you as you carried on with work. You found yourself almost dreading going home, and contemplating not telling him anything.
But how could you when everyday without fail he would grace you with that smile, oozing with love and fondness before sweetly asking you, “So how was your day?”
You were in a bit of a mess with yourself, trying to figure out how to get your concerns through his thick skull. The new role you had taken on further adding to the stress you had been feeling. While you loved your job You were both physically and mentally exhausted.
It was only a matter of time before everything became too much.
To the horror of you colleagues, you had ended up fainting at work. You had finally succumbed to everything in your life that had been piling on top of you.
Luckily, it wasn’t long before you regained consciousness, surrounded by your colleagues you sat up and slowly and rubbed the back of your head sheepishly.
At that moment some paramedics had rounded the corner and while you insisted you were completely fine, you allowed them to check you for injuries and give you some fluids, it wasn’t until they were sure you were stable and didn’t need any further help that they left.
As embarrassing as the entire situation was, you were glad that your boss let you have the rest of the day off, it was near the end of your shift anyways. So you grabbed your bag and left, still mortified at what had just transpired.
As you rode the train home, the events leading up to you losing consciousness replayed in your mind, you thought about everything that had led up to that point. How your coworkers reacted. As you sat in the quiet train, your mind still struggled to process what had happened.
Even with your spiralling mind, everything led to one conclusion.
You couldn’t tell Atsumu about what happened, at least not today.
Because you knew him. You knew exactly what would happen.
It would start with the texts from worried friends, calls from both of your families, and end with people mentioning off handedly, “I heard you fainted the other day. How are you feeling?” and you would be left to do damage control as your boyfriend continued to live his carefree life.
You could tell Atsumu “don’t tell anyone this” but you knew better. You knew better than to trust him and his big mouth. How could you have any other option when he’s never proven that he could listen?
So you would stay quiet. Long enough for you to recover from your lingering headache, long enough for you to process everything that had happened and figure out how to prevent it from happening again.
Long enough to be able to finally relax without worrying who you were going to get a text or call from.
Even with your mind made, the universe seemed to laugh down at you, and make life much more difficult for you than it needed to be.
You nearly cursed out loud when you saw his car in the driveway. He was home early too.
You sighed as you slowly unlocked your front door. The sounds of the TV growing louder as you stepped in.
Atsumu turned back and gave you a look of confusion as you took off your shoes. “Hey babe, wasn’t expecting you ‘til later.”
You smiled at him “I could say the same for you.” you slid your feet into your house slippers “I got a lot of work done today and my boss let me go home early, why are you home?”
Atsumu shrugged “Practically the same as you. Been makin’ a lot of progress at practice lately.”
You walked in front of where he sat and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. even with how your relationship had been going, at least this was something you hadn’t lost.
Atsumu wrapped his arms around your waist and looked up at you, “did you eat yet?”
No. I was so busy at work that I kept postponing my break. You thought to yourself bitterly.
“Not yet, I decided that I might as well eat at home if I was leaving early.”
Atsumu hummed, “I haven’t either. We could order something and then watch some movies? Take advantage of our free time.”
You smiled down at him, a relaxed movie day with him was exactly what you needed. “I would like that a lot ‘Tsumu.”
You pulled slightly away and he whined, causing you to laugh softly.
“I’ll go take a shower and you can order whatever you want, ok?”
His pout grew back into the loving smile of his as he nodded, “Can I use your phone? You always have coupons.”
You nodded and he allowed you to fully pull away. Reaching into your bag you pulled out your phone and handed it to him before making your way to your shared bedroom.
It had been maybe 20 minutes of Atsumu scrolling through the various restaurants (he’s very indecisive when it comes to food) before a text from who he recognized as one of your coworkers popped up.
“Hey! Hope your feeling better. We managed to get everything done so there’s no need to worry for your next shift.
Also remember to seek medical attention if anything feels off. I know you were cleared but you hit your head pretty badly.”
He froze as he read the text over and over. He didn’t even realize how much time had passed until you came walking out of your bedroom with a relaxed smile on your face.
“Soo, you decide on a place yet?”
You were met with an extremely uncharacteristic silence, your brows furrowed as you looked at your boyfriend staring intently at your phone.
“Atsumu?”
The next thing you knew, Atsumu flipped the screen to you.
“y/n what is this? Medical attention? Did something happen?”
Your eyes skimmed the message and you froze.
“…O-oh there was a bit of an incident at work that happened before I left. No need to worry!” you tried to wave his hand away and mustered the calmest smile you could.
He looked unconvinced.
“y/n…”
You felt your resolve crumble where you stood. The accusatory look he gave you full of worry, and worse, anger.
You sighed shakily, “ever since the promotion I’ve been finding it hard to find time to really relax so…” you looked away, unable to look him in the eye due to your guilt. “I ended up fainting.”
Atsumu shot up from where he sat, “You passed out?!” his hands frantically grabbed at your shoulders, trying to get you to look at him “You should have told me right away! I could have picked you up! Who knows what would have happened if you fainted again on the subway. I can’t believe you lied, you were just going to keep this from me? Why? Why didn’t you tell me-“
You pushed yourself out of his grip, “Because I didn’t want to!” you huffed, tired of his tirade, “I admit that I was fully content with not telling you.”
His hands dropped from your shoulders and you almost broke at the sight of his crestfallen face “Why?”
You took a deep breath, “I was…scared that you were gonna tell someone.”
There was a moment of tense silence. “You…you could’ve just asked me to not-“
“Could I Atsumu? Could I really? I’m not sure if I believe that, especially after you told me that that’s just who you were and that it was unavoidable.” You paused as you realized you were raising your voice, you looked away in shame. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just that sometimes I wish that our business could be our own Atsumu, even for a little bit.”
You took his silence as a cue to keep explaining yourself.
“I needed time today to finally relax for once and process everything. I can’t do that if I have someone new calling me every five minutes to make sure that I’m okay. I want to be able to worry about my own wellbeing, without having to manage other people’s. I can’t do that if you tell everyone you know what’s happening in my life.”
Atsumu’s continued silence began to worry you. “Atsumu?”
Without warning you were pulled into the familiar strong arms that could only belong to your boyfriend.
“I’m sorry y/n.” he mumbled into your hair “I thought I was being supportive. I just love bragging about to to everyone and letting people know how we’re doing. I never really thought about how that would affect you. I’m sorry I made you stress out so much.”
You smiled into his chest and hugged him back “I’m happy that you understand ‘Tsumu. There’s nothing wrong with gushing about me, I just need you to understand my boundaries.”
You felt him nod “I’m sorry again I’ll do my best.”
You could already feel yourself relaxing again into his arms “that’s all I’m asking for Atsumu, thank you.”
You let out a sigh of relief as you held each other. It felt as if a massive weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
The tender moment was interrupted by the sound of a stomach growl. There was a stunned silence before the two of you burst into a fit of laughter.
Atsumu looked down at you with a gaze that filled you with an indescribable warmth, laughter still evident in his face. “How ‘bout we order and finally relax for the night? Just the two of us?”
You smiled fondly up at the man and nodded “Just the two of us.”
242 notes · View notes
flowerandblood · 5 months
Text
I'm back
And I'm back with my oneshot with Michael Gavey. He fucking came back from the dead. Some can call it resurrection.
Tumblr media
I needed these 24 hours just for myself to think about why I was writing at all and why I was doing it.
To talk about it with my husband who, as always, knowing me inside out, said that I didn't deserve to have my work and commitment here wasted by people who don't have the courage to write to me under their own nickname.
Just to be clear - it doesn't matter when or if any of you would read my oneshot. When, why or if you will do it is neither something to feel guilty nor proud of, like reading or not anything I wrote or will write.
I remind you that's my space, not yours. Anon asks stays off, because I know who you really are.
Cowards.
From now on, I will be much stricter about what other people "opinion" should and should not be.
I will block anyone, anons, writers or readers, who cannot watch their words - even if it's on your blogs, in your asks, comments, reblogs or statements - I don't want to see any ironic, hurtful bullshit on my wall anymore.
I will block them, but I will never nag them. I just don't need them in my life, in my space. Learn from me, anon haters. I hope me coming back is your stick in the ass and not in the pleasurable way.
I don't care if you think I'm a sweet and innocent author with no flaws - I'm not. I've never been. I don't care about maintaining this image either.
Yes, I can't stand anons who send me and other authors baseless criticism. They were and will remain my enemies. I will never be nice to them, because by hiding they lose the last of my respect.
However, I have never been and will never be unpleasant to people who ask me thoughtful questions with the respect that one person can and should expect from another. Usually it's not about the question itself, but about how it was asked.
Writing anonymously to others that you wish their pets to die, that it's good that they lost their child, or to me that I don't really love my husband and I'm cheating on him because I write fanfics is not the smartest idea.
You are just sad, jealous idiots.
Now.
A few of people here are trying to keep this sticky tape glued fandom from falling apart and I sincerely admire them: @ewanmitchellcrumbs @targaryenrealnessdarling @oneeyedvisenya @theoneeyedprince @valeskafics @black-dread
This fandom doesn't deserve you, but there you are.
+ I wanted to say 'thank you' to all of the writers who just reached me to say that they are sorry, to say that I have a right to write whatever I want. Do what I want without being judged.
Finally, I cannot help but mention the wave of anonymous and non-anonymous messages from my fans, to which I apologize for not responding. I've read them all.
Many of you came out of the shadows and wrote to me for the first time, showing me how much my stories mean to you. Thank you for all the memes, photos, drawings and words of comfort, very long and very short messages.
If it weren't for you, if it weren't for my husband who told me that I needed a break - not to destroy everything I created, I would have deleted this account a few days ago. He said that I should care more about my own mental comfort, which I intend to do.
I deleted my Discord account to withdraw from the fandom a bit and to put what happened behind me. I don't have good emotions right now that I could share with you in these groups, which you deserve. I don't want to be a ghost account there.
If you want to talk to me or explain something, you can reach me in private messages.
So. Karawana jedzie dalej, as we say in Poland. Those who want to be tagged, please let me know here or privately.
I don't know when I will publish my other works, but I will.
Welcome back.
184 notes · View notes
Note
Heeeeeeyyy. I don't know if your taking requests or not, so if not then just ignore this and I'm sorry. I recently got into your blog and I LOVE the way your write. I was wondering if you could 2003 Raph x mute reader who is the adopted niece of Mrs. Morrison (the blind woman Raph helps). Reader got in a car crash with some friends one night and her vocal cords got permanently damaged. Parents can't afford to house her due to medical bills and sent her to live with her aunt. Reader is really gentle and kind and just the picture of feminine grace and maturity. I imagine Raph would go visit Mrs. Morrison and she would want to introduce reader and reader and Raph would just look at eachother like 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️👁️👄👁️
Mrs. Morrison’s Niece (Angst/Fluff)
2003!Raphael x mute!reader
Tumblr media
A/N: Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you like my writing❤️💕 But now about this one; the only way I know of where a blind person and a mute person can communicate is using tactile sign language. I do not know tactile sign language myself, and therefore I hope the communication shown between Mrs. Morrison and the reader can be considered somewhat accurate, given the amount of knowledge I have. Hope you enjoy❤️🐢
---------------
Warnings: Mentioning of a car crash, mentioning of damage to vocal cord, mentioning of poverty, a non tactile sign language user describing tactile sign language.
---------------
Mrs. Morrison was a nice old lady, and though she could be a little naive at times, Raphael quite liked her. She was sweet, soft spoken, and cared about every creature she came across. Even Raphael. That still surprised him from time to time how nice she could be, but he appreciated it nonetheless.
It wasn’t uncommon for Raphael to come and visit Mrs. Morrison for tea or even dinner. White visiting, he would help her clean and get the house in order. A task that sadly had gotten harder for the poor old woman as she grew older, causing her to rely more and more on the kindness of people like Raphael. Her blindness didn’t help much, causing her to stay at home most of the time, only venturing out to get groceries.
One evening during dinner, Mrs. Morrison told him about her family. Her beloved dead husband, who’s picture she kept framed both in her living room and by her bedside, and her extended family that lived out of state. Raphael listened closely, while keeping close attention to Lucy, the white cat that had decided to sleep on his foot. Mrs. Morrison had a little sister she sadly didn’t get to see very often, given the geographical distance between them. This sister had a husband and daughter who she loved dearly. Other than her late husband, they were the closest family she had. And this broke Raphael’s heart. The thought of this poor old lady living alone with her cat. Everytime Raph thought about him, it made him sad. That was one of the many reasons why he had given her his number, so she could call whenever she needed someone to talk to. And call she did.
Mrs. Morrison never called too often, and when she did call, it was mainly to hear how Raphael was doing and if he was eating enough, or invite him over for yet another meal. Sometimes he could hear Lucy meow in the background, causing Raph to jokingly say that the friendly cat was missing him. Mrs. Morrison found that highly amusing.
One day Mrs. Morrison called Raphael and invited him over for dinner that evening, just like she normally would when she invited him over. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing that would let Raphael know that this day would be any different than the rest.
Just like Raphael always did, he knocked on Mrs. Morrison’s back alley door and patiently waited for her to open the door. She came to the door and opened it, letting Lucy make her way to Raphael, before rubbing her head against his ankle.
“Good evening, Mrs. Morrison”, Raphael said, smiling as he took Lucy up in his hands. He sometimes wondered if she could smell Klunk on him. Maybe he should bring him one day.
“Raphael!”, Mrs. Morrison smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so glad you could come! Come in! Come in!”
“Of course, Mrs. Morrison”, Raphael smiled, following the old lady into her apartment, letting Lucy run into the living room before he turned to close the door.
“(Y/N)! Sweetheart! Please come and help me get Raphael seated”, Mrs. Morrison said, as she made her way through the living room.
Raph turned from the closed door, staring after Mrs. Morrison in fear. There was someone else in her house? Oh no, that sweet old lady. She had no idea about Raphael’s true nature, so why would she see anything wrong in having other people in the house. Crud! This was surely going to end badly for Raph.
But as you walked out of the kitchen with a small smile on your face, washcloth still in your hand, ready to greet the guest at the door, all of Raphael’s fears washed away. His shoulders slumped as he took in your face, feeling his guts doing funny jumps and his knees going slightly weak.
You however jumped at the sight of the mutant turtle standing at the door. Unsure of what to do, you started fidgeting with the washcloth in your hand.
“(Y/N)”, Mrs. Morrison said, her hand finding your shoulder. “This is Raphael I told you about. Raphael, this is my niece, (Y/N)”.
You did not say a word. All you did was stare at Raphael. Starting was nothing knew for the red clad turtle, yet there was something about your gaze that made Raphael feel things he had never felt before.
“Uhm… Nice to meet ya, (Y/N)”, he managed to get out, stretching out a hand for you to shake. A little unsure you took his hand, giving it a small shake. But still no words. That confused Raphael a bit, yet he kept his mouth shut. He knew better than to start asking people why they wouldn’t talk to him.
You, Raphael and Mrs. Morrison moved into the kitchen, where Raphael and Mrs. Morrison took a seat at the table, while you continued your cooking. Raph couldn’t help but cast glances in your direction as he listened to whatever Mrs. Morrison was telling him about. But the moment your eyes met, Raphael almost jumped out of his shell before quickly avoiding your eyes, his cheeks burning hot. You too turned away, your face pink in a slight blush.
At one point you left the kitchen to go get something in a room on the other side of the living room. He watched you leave, before jumping at the sound of Mrs. Morrison’s voice.
“She’s nice, don’t you think, Raphael?”, Mrs. Morrison said, smiling in his direction as if she knew he had been looking after you.
“Uhm… yeah, she is”, Raph said, fidgeting with his fingers under the table. “If ya don’t mind me asking, Mrs. Morrison, but… is she okay?”
Mrs. Morrison sighed, her shoulders fell as an expression of sadness washed over her face. “Poor (Y/N), God bless her soul. The sweet thing was so unlucky to end up in a car crash with some of her friends, where her vocal cord sadly got permanently damaged”.
“I’m… really sorry to hear that”, Raphael said, his gaze turning towards the living room. He could hear you move around in the room on the opposite side.
“She has not had it easy afterward”, Mrs. Morrison sighed once more. “My sister and her husband sadly aren’t doing too great on the finances. I don’t blame them. These are hard times. But that sadly has to cost my sweet niece. The medical bills have been too much for them, and her parents don’t have the money to house them all, especially not now. Therefore we decided it would be best if she came and lived with me”.
“It must really be heard for her”, Raph said, more to himself than the old lady sitting at the table.
“It is”, Mrs. Morrison sighed. “I may not be able to see it, but even I know she’s sad. Who wouldn’t be after something like that?” Mrs. Morrison paused for a moment. “That’s why I called you, Raphael. You were so nice to help me out when I needed help, so maybe you can help (Y/N) a little? I’m not asking you to do much more than keep her company. I think she could really use someone other than her old aunt around her”.
Raphael jumped in his seat when you returned to the kitchen. He watched as you lightly poked Mrs. Morrison’s shoulder to catch her attention. You held out our hands for her to feel, as you moved them in signs. Mrs. Morrison nodded with a smile.
“In the cupboard on the left, sweetheart”, Mrs. Morrison said, smiling as you clapped on the shoulder as a thank you. Raphael felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of your smile. He couldn’t deny how beautiful your smile was.
During the dinner the chatting was light. At least from Raphael’s side. He sat quietly and listened at Mrs. Morrison’s words, all while throwing glances your way. You were smiling and nodding at your aunt's words, tapping on the table to let her know that you did so.
Raphael couldn’t help but feel fascinated by you. Sure, he had seen pretty women around New York City, but none of them ever struck him the way you did. You seemed so sweet and soft, yet your eyes shone with a maturity rarely seen before. Maybe it was because of the things you had been through. It had hardened you and matured you, yet you still seemed so friendly. Maturity wasn’t the only thing shining in your eyes. A shimmer. A light of sorts. Something Raphael couldn’t quite place, yet it drew him in- oh crud, you were looking at him. You had seen him stare at you. Oh crud! Shell fucking shell!
But before Raphael could let panic take him, you gave him a little smile. A little calm friendly smile. For a moment it felt like time stilled as you smiled at him, your expression telling him more than words ever had.
After dinner, Raphael helped you clean off the table. You gave him an appreciative smile as he started cleaning the plates in the sink. He said no words, finding that the communication with your eyes was enough, and somehow also strangely comforting.
After the two of you had cleaned the kitchen, it was time for Raph to go home. You and your aunt followed him to the door, where he told Mrs. Morrison goodnight as he moved from the apartment and out in the alley.
“Say hey to your brothers from me”, she said, smiling big. “They sound like some nice young men!”
“I will be sure to do so, Mrs. Morrison”, Raphael said, before she turned and went back into her apartment, leaving you and Raph alone in the open door.
Under normal circumstances, Raphael would have found the silence awkward, wrecking his mind to find something to talk about. But with you and your friendly smile, Raph did not feel the need to talk, finding your smile comforting enough.
Lucy was the one to break the silence, meowing as she wrapped herself around Raph’s leg. That was when Raph saw your shoulders shake and a bright smile on your lips, eyes closed. You were giggling, finding the interaction between the mutant and the white cat entertaining. Raphael bent down to pick up Lucy, letting her meow in his arms as he scratched her behind the ear.
“Before I leave”, Raph finally said. “I will just like to say, that it was nice meeting ya, (Y/N), and if ya won’t mind, I’ll very much like to see ya again”.
You smiled at him once more, before reaching your arms out to take Lucy from his arms. Raphael watched your movements, wondering what your next would be. As Lucy cuddled up against you, your hand went into your pocket, fishing out a small piece of folded paper you then gave to him with a sweet smile. Raphael unfolded the paper, and was surprised to find your number written down, along with a “text me when you get the chance;) - (Y/N)”.
Raphael smiled from the paper to you. “I will be sure to do so”, he said, watching as your smile got wider. “I’ll see you around, (Y/N)”. Those were his last words before he turned, jumped onto the fire escape and started crawling, all while you stood smiling in the doorway.
131 notes · View notes
and-claudia · 1 year
Text
Day 1 Kinktober: Masturbation (Billy Hargrove x Fem! Reader)
Here goes nothing!! This is my first ever time writing for Kinktober!! I hope you enjoy the story and if you would like to be tagged in other days I have planned use the link below (It'll also take you to my prompt list for the month)
Edit: if you are an ageless blog, I do not feel comfortable tagging you in my kinktober fics. So please keep that in mind when signing up.
And-Claudia's Kinktober Taglist
Warnings: Teasing, Fingering, Masturbation, illusions to strict childhood and parents, corruption, (Let me know if I missed any), SMUT, NSFW
THIS POST IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI
Tumblr media
“Shut up, Billy.” I sighed. 
“I just wanna know if it’s true, Yn.” He pressed, as he drove me home. 
“It’s a stupid game!” 
“Dude, just tell me… have you never even thought about trying it?” 
I stayed quiet. 
We had been at a party when they suggested we play seven minutes in Heaven. Of course, Steve wanted to pair me up with Billy. He knew about my crush on him. So there we were standing awkwardly in a dark closet together while we knew everyone was listening outside. 
To give everyone what they wanted he suggested we fake it a little, just to mess with them a little. I had asked him how, he said just make the noises you’d make if you were touching yourself. 
The look on my face said it all. And now he knew. Not only was I a virgin I had also never masturbated. 
“I- I have… I just… don’t know.” I mumbled. 
“Don’t know what?” 
“How… I don’t know how to…” I admitted, shamefully. 
I came from a very sheltered family. We weren’t allowed to talk about or engage in sex of any kind. It had always followed me around. Anytime I even considered trying it, I could never bring myself to do it in fear of being caught. 
The way I admitted my confession told Billy everything he needed to know.
“I’m sorry I brought it up.” He said. 
“Don’t be. Trust me, I wish I weren’t such a stereotypical goodie-goodie like everyone thinks I am.” I sighed. 
“I could always help with that… I mean I could handle being friends with the goodie-goodie, but I draw the line at being friends with someone who is that much of a goodie-goodie.” 
“Billy, what are you suggesting?” I knew exactly what he was suggesting and it made my heart race but I wanted to hear him say it. 
“Neil and Susan are away for the weekend, Maxine is at a friend's house… Let's go back to my house, let me show you how to make yourself feel good.” He said, already turning the car around. 
I stayed silent. Surly this wasn’t about to actually happen, right? This was insane. We pulled into his driveway and sure enough, no one was there. He lead me back to his bedroom. 
“Billy…” 
“Sh. Don’t talk, you’re here to learn, remember?” He said, standing close to me. 
“First thing first, you never want to just jump into it. You need to build it up if you really want to enjoy it. So, is there anything, anyone, that makes you feel… excited, turned on, horny?” He asked almost seeming knowingly. 
I took a shaky breath. 
“Ah, so there is…” He chuckled lowly, “Care to share who it is?”
I couldn’t help the way my focus went from the floor to his piercing blue eyes, to his lips then back to his eyes. 
“That’s what I thought.” He hummed before leaning down to press his lips against mine. 
“Billy.” I said, pulling away. 
“Don’t act like you don’t know that this is exactly what you want.” He said, pulling away slightly. 
“It- it is. But… you’re my best friend, Billy…” I trailed off knowing this was wrong. 
“Exactly, so you trust me, right?” He asked. 
I nodded. 
“Good.” And with that, his lips were on mine again. 
This time I didn’t pull away. Instead, I brought my hands up to his chest, grabbed the opening of his shirt and used it to pull him closer. His hands went to my hips. Gently, he began to pull me with him as he went to sit on the edge of the bed. I ended up straddling his thighs, lips never disconnecting from his. Both of his hands found their way onto my waist and he guided my hips to grind against his thighs. 
A small gasp left my lips and he chuckled slightly against my lips. 
“That feel good, sweetheart?” 
“Mhm” 
We continued to make out for a bit longer. I could feel wetness building up between my legs. 
“Get up real quick.” Billy said pulling away. 
Despite myself, I let out a small whimper. This only caused him the chuckle at my desperateness. 
“Just be patient, doll. It’s kinda hard to touch yourself with your pants still on.” He nodded down to the article of clothing in question. 
“You want me to take my jeans off?” 
Billy nodded, “And your panties.” 
My eyes went wide. 
“My- you want me to take off my panties in front of you?” I asked, still shocked. 
“Yeah, it’ll make things much easier than trying to move around them, they’ll just get in the way, trust me. If you’re not comfortable though, you don’t have to.” 
I shook my head as my hands went to undo the button and zipper of my jeans. In one fluid motion, I pulled my pants and undergarment off, letting the fabric pool around my ankles. My eyes were looking everywhere but at him. 
“C’mere, doll.” He said, now standing up. 
He guided me to sit down against his headboard. 
“If you want to stop, all you gotta do is tell me, alright?” He asked. 
I nodded, my mouth feeling very dry all of a sudden. 
“Good.” 
He leaned forward again, his lips finding mine once again. Each of his hands was supporting himself up on either side of my hips. 
“Can I touch you? Is that alright?” He asked. 
I nodded. 
He took one of his hands and brought it between my legs. His fingers slip through my folds gathering up the wetness that had pooled there. 
“Okay, now, pay attention.” He said and I could feel his smirk against my lips. 
My hands went to grip his biceps and an audible gasp left my lips as he began to rub circles on my clit. Though he was being extremely gentle, as someone who had never experienced anything like this, I was extremely sensitive to the sensation. 
“You okay?” He asked, stopping his movements but keeping the pressure there. 
“Yeah,” I breathed out before, “wasn’t ready for that.” 
I chuckled a little before continuing his rhythm from before. I brought him back down to kiss him once again.
I could feel the pressure building up, like a spring tightening. My body went stiff at the new sensation. 
“Are you close?” Billy asked, pulling away from my lips. 
I nodded, “Think so.” I managed to get out. 
“Good. Now it’s your turn.” 
A pitiful whine left my lips involuntary at the loss of contact. This only drew another low chuckle from Billy. 
“Come on, doll, don’t whine. You’re a big girl, you can do it. Look, just take this hand,” he grabbed my hand in his, and I could feel the slight stickiness on it still, then he guided it up through my folds just as he had with his own fingers, “Then right here. Do exactly what I just did.” He let go of my hand after getting it to the right spot. 
I rubbed a couple circles, trying to find the right rhythm and pressure he had used. 
When I found it, I decided to quicken the paces a little and add a bit more pressure. If I was close before, I was sailing to the finish line now. That tension I felt before returned and grew rapidly. 
I came with a loud moan of his name, my eyes falling shut, walls clenching around nothing. Slowly, I pulled my hand away and laid there catching my breath. 
“Shit.” I sighed blissfully, finally opening my eyes. 
“Congrats, you’re no longer a goodie-goodie.” Billy teased. 
“Shut up.” I laughed, looking over at him, “And you were giving me a hard time about being turned on by my best friend.” I said, eyeing the very evident bulge in his pants. 
“Well doll, when you moan my name like you’re in some damn porno, it's going to get me hard.” He said, shaking his head with a small laugh of his own. “Well… if I caused it, then maybe I should help you with it?” I suggested boldly. 
“Damn did I already corrupt you that much?” 
Day 1 Taglist:
@dannyramirezwife
@dixontardis
@alexxavicry
@mystargirl-interlude
@km-ffluv
@mserynlarsen
714 notes · View notes
bbyquokka · 8 months
Note
Lix looked really handsome in his YouTube live. I can imagine he’s on video call with his gf and she can’t help but compliment him like every second and he’s left all flustered 🥰
you're so beautiful, it hurts
FLUFF BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI
warning: gender neutral reader, idol au, pet names, semi proof read, a lot of fluff ;-; words: 0.6k ~ (636)
dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!
“and then jisung thought it would be funny to tease changbin by stealing his food and we all know how that went.” felix laughs as he thinks back to the events that happened several hours ago.
you smile and nod as you listen to him. felix laughing and smiling so brightly it blinds you from your phone screen. he did a YouTube live a few minutes ago and saw your comment of “i miss you :(” resulting in him instantly calling you as soon as the live ended.
being away from one another is painful but it's part of the job. you knew what you were getting yourself into when you and felix became a couple. some days it's easy, some days it's hard but it's all part of the process. the reward of seeing your lover after months apart is a reward you love.
when you and felix are together, the memories you both create are worth the time apart. you both stick together like glue when felix's schedule is calm.
“changbin was not happy about that and jisung being, well, jisung was just laughing and being a menace.” felix pauses to laugh before continuing, “and then chan came in and everyone just went silent!!”
“sounds like fun baby. it's never a dull day with the members.” you giggle. he hums, nodding as he runs his fingers through his bright blue hair. his skin naked and showing off his freckled face. a white t-shirt and black jeans accommodate him. you can't help but swoon at the sight of him.
as felix continues to talk about the chaotic mess, you go off in a daydream. your eyes flicker and take in every detail of felix's face, loving the way his eyes crinkle at the sides when he smiles, how his voice deepens when talking naturally but rises up in pitch when talking about something that excites him or was exciting to him.
“you're so beautiful, lix.” you say without realising, the words slipping from your lips like butter. he halts mid-sentence, clearing his throat as his cheeks and neck slowly heat up.
“no. no i'm not ” he whispers, looking at his lap. you furrow your brows as you tilt your head to the side.
“yes, you are and nothing you say can make me change my opinion. you're beautiful lix and i'm not just talking about the way you look.”
“what so you mean, yn?”
“your looks are just a bonus. you are a beautiful soul. the prettiest, most gorgeous man i've ever seen. you think about others before yourself, making sure the people you love are well cared for and needs have been met. which can have it's downfall because i sometimes wish you would put yourself first before others but i don't think that's possible with someone like you, lixie. you're my bright sunshine. you light up my life and you're just so gorgeous and beautiful and pretty an–”
“ok ok ok! stop yn! you're making me feel so incredibly shy!” felix whimpers, his cheeks now the same colour as a red apple. you giggle as he shuffles on his seat shyly, fingers twiddling and picking the material of his jeans.
“its true though! you're beautiful lix and you're very very handsome too.”
“ok ok, yn! seriously. just stoppp.” felix whines, his bottom lip pouting. you laugh and hold your hands up in defeat.
“ok sorry.” you grin, winking at him. “i just can't help myself when i'm in your presence!”
“you're a menace to my heart yn. i hope you know that.” you pretend to think for a minute, finger on chin before shrugging and giggling.
“oh i know but you love me.”
“you're damn right i do. i love you more than anyone and anything in this world, my beautiful menace.”
Tumblr media
note: sorry it took so long to complete this :( but i hope you enjoy this!! don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3
Tumblr media
tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @unh0ly-dr3am3r ; @septicrebel ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer ; @telesvng ; @oshimee
144 notes · View notes
ambrosialdesire · 5 months
Text
cacoëthes
[ PART ONE ] [ PART TWO ] [ PART THREE ]
18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS + BLANK BLOGS DNI
pairing: s4 reiner x fem!reader word count: 12.7k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, explicit sexual content, unhealthy relationships, kidnapping mention, gore/violence, minor character death mention, usage of the word "dog" in a derogatory/offensive/mocking sense, chasing (hide-and-seek kinda), misogyny, physical assault, suicidal ideations (reader talks about dying a lot), stockholm syndrome, heavy manipulation/guilt-tripping, p*rn w/ plot, noncon/dubcon, hatefucking, mean dom reiner at first, praise & degradation, hair-pulling, slapping, forced f & m oral sex, vaginal sex, sorta missionary, slight belly-bulge mention, doggy-style, breeding (mating press), choking (sexual and nonsexual), marking, virginity loss (both of you), overstimulation (both of you), edging, dacryphilia kinda, mind-break (reader is implied to kinda lose her mind), size kink, brief tit-sucking/breast play, reiner has a short refractory period bc i said so >:), kinda aot spoilers if you haven't watched it before, all characters are 18+ synopsis: everything has fallen apart by the seams even more. reiner knows everything and you have nothing else to lose. taking your chances, you escape his clutches by slipping through liberio's alleyways but there's only a handful of buildings that can hide you before he catches you. terrified isn't the only word to describe what you were feeling and you can't imagine what he'd do to you if he gets his hands on you. a/n: finally the whorish activities begin! thank you all sm for the support for this series and my other fics! i've also reached over 1k likes in this blog and wow, i literally can't believe that my writing got this much attention in roughly 6-8 months! ik i said that i would be doing a konig fic before posting this and a hell of a lot of kinktober prompts but a bunch of shit came up irl that made it nearly impossible to have time to myself and this blog. really sorry about that but life happens unfortunately. anyways, i really ended this series off with a bang (literally) and i hope the ending is somewhat good enough. i would like to thank my friend for getting me back into aot bc without them, i wouldn't have seen the final episode nor would have made this blog. i think 6th/7th grade me would've been so surprised but feel so complete knowing that aot reached its end in the anime. thank you all again for investing and reading the cacoëthes series!! note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.───
It's over.
Three years of meticulous and dedicated planning were all torn away by a single bullet. What were the chances of this happening? Why did you never consider that he would kill the old man like this? He was supposed to be completely knocked out. The dosage was supposed to be enough for you to escape.
Everything was supposed to go your way.
"H-how are you even... Wh... Why did y-you..." You gripped the jacket in the middle of your chest, the air weighing heavy with every frightened breath you took. A man was dead because of you. No... because of him.
Where did he even get a gun?!
Reiner stopped aiming the rifle towards you, standing up straight while letting the gun fall to his side. There was no hint of any exhaustion from the drugs except the fact that he was heaving slowly, most likely from running. His appearance was definitely disheveled, the rain pulling down at his clothes and short hair. In the twisted crevices in your mind, you would've found it just a tiny bit attractive.
Regardless of that, you should've never underestimated him in the first place. How could you forget that he graduated second overall in the 104th Training Corps right behind Mikasa, the most terrifyingly strongest woman that matched up right to Annie’s level. You barely even reached the top twenty when you graduated, let alone the top ten.
He said nothing but raised his hand, beckoning for you to come to him as if you were some kind of lost pet. Was he joking? You shook your head and stood your ground, strands of wet hair sticking onto your skin. There was no telling whether it was the rain that caused that or the blood. He murdered an old man — he was a Marleyan traitor sure, but he was still a human — just to keep you here.
"Y/N—"
"No!" You finally snapped, the wind carrying the words that you've held back for so long. "I'm not coming home with you! I'm never going back, I'd rather die than carrying your fucking spawn!"
"You don't mean that."
How delusional can he be? Can nothing get through that stupidly thick skull of his?
"I meant Every! Single! Word! I hate you Reiner. I've always hated you! For three years, I had to put up with all of your shit! Not because I was beginning to fall for you or that you made me realize that maybe something… something in Marley was worth staying for, but because I was trying to survive. I did everything in order to live through this torment that you forced me into. So no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter who you kill," Your fists were balled up so tightly, you were sure that it had cut through the skin of your palms.
"I'll never love you."
It felt like the largest weights of the world had finally lifted off your shoulders and it took all your might to finally look him in the eyes after your confession. He bore a face of devastation, his mouth parted open and eyes wide in a state of complete shock.
You grinned, partially because you were happy to finally say something that bruised his spirit. Now that he was frozen in place and his eyes were slightly glazed over, you had to hastily figure out the controls for the boat.
As you turned away to try and get into the control room, the sound of the rifle went off once more. What the hell did he shoot at? The whistle of the bullet neared and suddenly, a sharp pain ripped through your arm. You cried out in pain, almost stumbling onto the corpse below you. In an instant, you placed your hand over the fresh wound, your undivided attention now back onto him. The rifle was back up and full aimed, faint amounts of steam coming out of the end.
Reiner shot you.
Though you were quite a distance away, you could tell that something changed in him. This was not the same man that you've just screamed all the vile profanities at. You had to get away, now. There was no time to figure out the controls, not when he's now trudging towards you at an alarming rate. You got off, nearly colliding to the ground from the rock of the boat and the slickness of the rained docks.
"Y/N!" He screamed your name out and you could hear the rage laced behind it. If he caught you, you were a dead woman. You started running, as fast as your legs could carry you. In an endless blur, you went from the docks into the empty streets of Liberio.
SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.
You dashed left into an alleyway, almost stumbling and slipping on the smoothly cobbled streets, turning towards the farthest right that you were able to reach. Ducking down into a pile of soggy old boxes, you continue to grasp at your injured arm. You couldn't see the damage that was done but you could feel it, clenching your teeth as you ran your fingers across the wound.
You winced and cringed wordlessly as you tried to figure out how big it was and how deep the bullet went, feeling a good amount of your blood trickle down your fingers. There was no entry hole so he must've grazed you, but it was barely a miss in your opinion as it continued to gush out liquid at an alarming rate. You quickly glanced up at the storming sky, watching the lightning zip through the inky clouds before ripping a heaping chunk out of the end of your dress, timing it with the clashing clap of the thunder.
You bit down on the other part of the cloth as you tightly secured it around your wound. The effects of fatigue were finally starting to overtake you now that you had the chance to relax, the adrenaline within your veins weaning off bit by bit. With every breath you took, your lungs ached and burned unwillingly. Not to mention, your feet were definitely all cut up from scurrying around barefoot. You couldn't get tired here, not when you were running from a literal madman.
The wet stomps of boots neared and you stiffened up once more, hyper-focused on which direction it was going. It was unsettlingly still, the air suddenly feeling stuffy and murky as you held your hands against your mouth and nose. The situation felt exactly like the elevator in Trost, where groups of Titans were slowly closing in and all you could do was wait.
You tried to take in slow and steady breaths, but it was more difficult than you realized. There was a growing pressure on your chest that was making it completely strenuous in order to breathe properly, and to make matters worse, your heart was beating at an alarming rate. It had to be absurdly loud from the way you could hear it thump away at your eardrums.
"Where are you?" He trailed his voice off in a taunting manner, his breathing hard yet erratic. You could only imagine his eyes darting about in the dark, trying to pinpoint your exact location.
"I'm going to fucking find you and when I do—" The sound of a crate being kicked and smashed against the brick wall nearby made you flinch, your hands gripping onto your mouth harder as you began to shake in fear.
"Y/N, baby. I'm not gonna hurt you, honest. I'm just... losing my temper. It's your fault y'know but I didn't mean to shoot you — well, I did, what else would stop you from running too far?" The more he spoke, the more nauseous you felt. Reiner really lost his goddamn mind.
The minutes felt like hours the more he stood there trying to figure out where you've wandered off to. You closed your eyes and started to pray, as if some God would be listening to someone like you. The sounds of shuffling and a frustrated growl slowly started to fade away from your proximity, and you let out a silent shaky exhale of relief.
You felt absolutely filthy. Your clothes were torn up, you were sitting in a dirty alleyway, and blood was all over you. It's a miracle that you were even still alive right now.
If you didn't move now, he'd double back to check the areas he originally skipped over. Peeking over the boxes, you slowly got up, trying to change your position along to the sound of the thunder and wind. You peered around the corners of the alleyway, not being able to see a few feet in front of you from the sudden appearance of fog. You could use it to your advantage. Reiner didn't know where you specifically were either; there was your second advantage.
In the same alleyway you were currently in, there were other various passageways. Despite being here for so long, you haven't really memorized the layout of the internment zone. Ugh, you should have done so in the first place but you didn't really create a plan B to your escape plan. It was all going swimmingly up until that moment.
Maybe there was a way that you could retrace your steps back to the boat but you ran mindlessly, just thinking about how to get as far away from him as possible. You couldn't really think, not when he had continuous months of training and you barely had any brush up of any of your skills.
You exhaled and started walking with your body snug against the wall at a brisk pace, taking a few look backs just in case. In your mind, you had to have hope. The kind of hope that you were able to get back to the fishing docks before he could find you. Liberio was a pretty large area so it could take him a while to locate you, unless he transforms and wrecks every building in sight. That was unlikely since this was his home, but him waking up from the drugs was also unlikely and yet it still happened.
Fate was against you and so was time. When morning comes, you'll have nowhere to hide and there was the possibility that Reiner would alert the militia that a threatening "rogue" Eldian was wandering the streets. All you could rely on was yourself and hopefully that could be all you needed.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
Lost.
You were lost.
You thought that if you just kept wandering around, then you'd end up in a street that you'd recognize and use it to get to the docks, but there was jack shit. Everything looked the same: the windows, the walls, the streets. The fog was starting to get on your nerves as well, the rain was able to loosen up but the haze was still blocking most of your vision.
Were you stuck in hell?
The good thing was that you hadn't heard any boots anywhere nearby so you definitely had to be a safe distance away from Reiner. A warm dribble ran down your arm, causing you to halt. The laceration was still bleeding, the cloth now a darker shade of red than before. It was to the point where it was steadily dripping down your fingertips and onto the stones. If you died from blood loss before getting on the boat, it would be better than nothing.
"C'mon me. You've been through worse," You mumbled quietly to yourself as you tore another piece off from the dress, tying it over the soaked one. "You're almost there."
It had to be past midnight by now, time felt like it was working differently once you became lost. Like clockwork, you began moving once more. You had no other choice in the matter, any more hesitation and you'd get caught. Everything felt like it was at its complete limit than before but you had to push through, for your sake.
If you got out of here, you swore to be a better person. You'd be more hesitant, more calloused towards others. Back in Paradis, your kindness was the literal death of you. You held too much trust in others and look where it got you, married to an insane man who's been fucking up your life since day one when the breach occurred in Wall Maria. You were merely a puppet in the hands of Reiner and it wasn't fair.
When the Armored Titan ran through the Shiganshina District, the rubble that came from it pulverized your family. That marked the very moment where you became an orphan. A child to no one.
There were no final goodbyes, there was nothing. You didn't even get to see them brutally pass either. When you dashed home after the Colossal Titan kicked the wall in, you came upon the discovery that your house was completely crushed, fresh crimson splattered everywhere. Would that have made you feel better? Seeing them lose their lives right in front of you?
You don't even remember how you got on one of the escape boats, everything was a faded blur. As the boat sailed out of Shiganshina, you knew deep in your heart that if you had gotten home sooner from the market right before the Colossal Titan came, you would've died with them and that would be it.
You wouldn't have the unwavering decision to join the training corps the moment you became of age. You wouldn't have been matched up and sparring with Reiner for the first time just because Instructor Shadis wanted you to have a challenge. You wouldn't have been saved from him during the Trost disaster. You wouldn't have befriended both him and Bertolt afterwards, acting like the three of you were the bestest of friends. You wouldn't have been shipped off to Marley like a piece of precious stone that he had caught sight of. You wouldn't be in this complicated and hectic situation in the first place.
Placing a hand on your face, you realized that tears had started to wet your cheeks. When did you start crying? How long has it been since the last time you've cried this much? It was back when you had that fight with Porco, wasn’t it? He’d call you a crybaby if he saw you right now. Besides that, how long has it been since you've contemplated your past to the point where you started crying about it again? A soft hiccup left your lips and you sniffed, wiping the tears away with your hands.
You wondered if your parents would be proud of you for trying to escape the very person that took away their lives. Your older sister and brother could be cheering you on and that's why you're still standing despite the many things that happened to you. Afterall, they've always wanted the best for you. Your little brother would be telling you that if you gave up now, he'd take all of your favorite candies and toys and play without you. You wrapped your arms around you and sobbed, heavy tears dripping down your nose and jaw.
Reiner took all that pure love from you without even knowing and tried to replace it with a festering rot, something that he thinks is love. He betrayed you over and over again, misconstruing everything that you've done for him as the desires and pursuits of romance. Nothing in the world can redeem what he has done to you, he created too many shattered pieces.
As you finally looked up through your tear-blurred vision, the fog began to part to the point where you were able to see through it. You wiped your eyes, in disbelief in what you saw. It couldn't be, could it? Piled up boats. Ocean. The dock.
You… did it? You did it. You did it!
The soreness in your body felt suddenly a million times better as you ran forwards, the air in your lungs feeling even more fresher than before. Your eyes ran through the various ships, trying to find Mr. Kraus' as fast as you could. Adrenaline pumped through you when you spotted the lantern at the edge, almost cheering loudly in the night. You stepped slowly aboard, trying to ignore the fact that the captain was still lying dead on the deck.
Crouching down, you placed two fingers over his eyelids and shut them close. His body had long gone cold but you felt absolutely awful. At least he was with his son again.
Should you... bring him along for the ride? You'd probably dump the body once you were more at sea but it was only fair. He was able to give you this chance of escape and the most you could do for him now was to take him to a place where no one would bother him anymore.
You rummaged carefully through his pockets, finding a key located in his chest. There was a photo of his son and him connected to it, so you decided to remove it and tuck the picture back into his jacket pocket. "Thank you Mr. Kraus. For everything."
Entering the control room, you felt like a completely new woman. Under the darkness of the night, you struggled to locate where the key was supposed to be inserted. You've never operated machinery this complicated before or rather, any machinery. ODM gear and the kitchen appliances were the closest you’ve ever learned about that was a machine. Reiner never bought a car, he was probably worried that you'd use it to escape or because a woman wasn't able to drive one. They were pricey too, his warrior salary was pretty good but not good enough to buy one of them.
Fumbling around for a bit, you finally inserted it into something that felt like it was fit for a key and twisted, the instrument panel lighting up and the boat roaring to life. Letting out a light laugh of relief, your focus was now on how to make it go forwards. There were a bunch of levers and buttons, most of them not labeled or containing numbers that made your head spin. Well, there was this big red lever so it must be indicating that it was the forward—
A large arm wrapped around your throat behind you, utter horror and anguish shooting through your body as your thoughts were completely interrupted. They squeezed hard around your neck and pulled you back roughly, making you gag and involuntarily fall backwards towards the violator. You could only assume the worst on who it was.
Your nails dug deeply into his rigid muscle as you desperately tried to escape, your vision beginning to form dark spots from the lack of oxygen. No... no! This can't end here! You've gotten so fucking far, you're not about to lose now.
You reared your foot back into his knee, hearing him cry out in pain and loosen up around your neck. Dropping one arm from clawing apart the skin, you elbowed as hard as you could into his stomach. He didn't let go and you kept hitting, letting out a flurry of choked out curses at him until he finally released you. Falling to the ground, you grasped at your throat, sharply coughing up and heaving as you tried to breathe properly again.
"FUCK! You... You still got it." He coughed a few times, a grin forming on his face.
"It took me a whi... a while to find where you went, but then I saw the blood trail you left behind and saw... that you were heading back to the dock. Terrible decision to be honest." Reiner was out of breath too, probably because you beat the shit out of his stomach and chest trying to free yourself. Steam was rising off of him though so he'd be fine in a matter of minutes while you still struggled to get a good word in.
"But it's the end of the line, no more running. We're going home."
"I'm... I-I'm not going." You managed to blurt out before coughing again but you knew you couldn't move any longer, everything was starting to hurt again.
"Don't you get it? There's nothing for you in Paradis, you only have me." Reiner crouched to your level, resting his hand on your shoulder just like he did back when you were still soldiers. Why was he acting like he was still this merciful and kind knight? He was far from it.
"I'll carry you and clean you up, don't worry."
You spat on his face, watching the liquid dribble down his face as you scowled. "I'm not going anywhere with you, you fucking dog."
It was an abrupt pain.
He raised a hand and struck you, hard. Hard enough to almost make you black out from the sheer force. Hard enough to have the dark spots in your vision make its reappearance.
The side where he hit you made your ear ring and every inch of your cheek had a lingering sting. You could taste the hint of iron on your tongue as you turned your head back to look at him. He was infuriated, more so than when you tried poisoning him. Oh, so that's what pisses him off.
"Don't you fucking dare call me that."
You spat the blood out of your mouth, beginning to giggle like a fool.
"Why? Isn't that what you exactly are? Cause your dear Marleyan daddy didn't love your poor devil mommy enough to stay for either of you."
Reiner struck you again with the same amount of force and you started laughing aloud, feeling more blood trickle down and into your mouth. Maybe the blood loss was making you spiral out of control. Who cares? Everything was starting to fade and go all static-like so who cares what's coming out of your mouth right now.
You started to slump down to the ground unwillingly, the world feeling woozy and cold. Your burning limbs were on the brink of snapping off from moving too much this past evening that you could no longer support yourself. He stopped you from collapsing any further however, holding you against him as if he hadn't previously slapped the literal soul out of you.
If you died here, you'd die not being held by him. Weakly, you tried pushing yourself out of his arms but didn't budge an inch. He leaned close to your ear, bushing strands away from it. You weren't able to hear what he said, losing consciousness the minute he began to speak.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
You wished everything was still a dream. To no surprise, you awoke back at home on the bed, completely cleaned and patched up. You were no longer wearing the filthy dress and jacket, rather you were in a nightgown; not in your most provocative one luckily. It absolutely ached — even to just hardly shift around — so you didn't bother punishing yourself that much, only barely moving your head here and there.
The first thing you noticed after your eyes adjusted was the coverings of your injuries. Your arm gun wound was wrapped up in bandages and there were smaller dressings around your feet; damn, he really took care of you while you were still passed out. The next thing you noticed was how Reiner wasn't in the room, probably preoccupied with something. Right, he had to leave for another battle.... today? What time was it? What day was it?
You turned your head towards the closet, seeing that it was pried completely open, the hinges nearly torn off the wall. He probably hid the rifle in there for years and you've never noticed it, even when you were hiding something in there too. Everything was knocked over as if he was in a panic trying to find it and you weakly sat up to see the casualties of the items in there, your heart sinking down in your stomach as you saw the shoebox knocked over and the contents inside being completely empty. He knows, he had to.
At that moment, the door swung open and you winced trying to fall back down on the bed to pretend that you were still sleeping. It was pointless however, he already entered before you could close your eyes.
"You're awake. Morning— er... Good evening actually." From what you can barely see from the hallway light, Reiner had a bowl of soup in one hand and the journal — your journal — in the other. Can this get any worse?
"It's been four days—"
"Four?!" You shot up, wincing as your muscles pulled themselves taut. He settled the soup bowl down on the nightstand, turned on the lamp, and pushed you back down on the bed, hushing you like you were some kid. "Why are you still here then? Aren't you supposed to fight in another stupid self-war?"
"I told my superiors that you severely injured yourself to the point where you weren't able to move. I didn't tell them that you were trying to escape because they would've taken you away from me, luck is once again on your side." He lightly laughed as if it was some funny joke.
"Anyways, since you didn't have family here and my family refused to take care of you, I told them that I wanted to stay until you got better. After that, I'll do whatever they want me to do. You can call this an extended vacation." He explained and you wanted to throw yourself off of the building right now.
"Can't you just kill me already?" You groaned in anguish and he chuckled, shaking his head.
"No can do, I love you too much to do that."
"Well I don't love you."
"I know. I've been reading this little book of yours when I woke up from that trick of yours and stumbled across it," He shook it in his hands and opened it to a random page, your face contorting to panic. "Nearly three years of extensively written details about how much you hate me."
"Reiner—"
"Here's a passage from last year on July 5th: Reiner's downstairs right now so I'll make this quick. He asked me again about children, well not really asked, alluded to the fact that he wants them. There was some kids playing outside, kicking around a ball, and he said that he wished that we had a child to join them. I didn't say anything in reply. But I can't take it anymore, I have to get out of here. A child between us would be detrimental to my sanity, I couldn't bring myself to love it. Not when it's a part of him." His voice was cold as he read and you couldn't bring yourself to look at him.
He went on to read more pages, paragraphs of you talking about wanting to kill him, the failed methods you had planned, the whole plan between Mr. Kraus and you. Did you feel embarrassed that he finally found out that you were acting or humiliated that everything went wrong? You heard the noise of flipping pages and he cleared his throat.
"This was the final thing you wrote in this. I'll skip the beginning since it's not the main point I want you to hear." Your eyes widened and shot up, your hand darting painfully to grab the journal from him. He can read anything, anything but that excerpt. He stepped back and you fell off the bed with a heavy thump, a strangled out cry coming out of you. Your arms shook as you attempted to push yourself up, but he kicked you back down to the floor and placed a sturdy boot down on the middle of your back. You yelled out to him to stop — to stop reading the very secrets you kept from him — your voice starting to go hoarse.
"...If you, Reiner, find this when I'm long gone, know that I've always hated you. I've always been sickened by your touch and your kisses, I never meant any of those I love yous, and I've always wished you died horribly during the times you went off to those battles. I wanted to receive a letter or be told personally that you were killed in action, shot down by the cannons that were able to pierce through your armor." Reiner dug his heel into you, an agonizing shriek being pulled out of your beaten body.
"I'd weep, not of sadness but of joy because I would be finally be free from your clutches. Whatever you thought you taught me in order to be your perfect spouse, I was playing a role in order to survive this insanity of yours. I never loved you and I never will. Don't try to go back to Paradis to find me. You would have to bring back my dead body in order to bring me back to Marley." This was a complete and utter nightmare.
"I treated you to a life of safety, I took care of you when you were sick and injured. I didn't have sex with you because I wanted to respect your space. I fed you, clothed you, I did everything. I put you on a pedestal all because I love you." He dug deeper into your spine, your nails scraping into the wood.
"And this is what I get in return? An ungrateful little bitch who'd rather be ripped apart by Pure Titans than love me. A fucking whore that bats her eyes at a different man while calling the man she's married to a dog."
You gritted your teeth as hot tears poured down your face. "Yeah, that's right. I'd rather die horribly against a Titan if it meant that I'd never be with you. I'd fuck Porco if I could, I would do it behind your back if I wanted to too. Out of everyone you chose in Paradis, you married the one that was too much trouble. That's what Hoover said about me, right?"
His foot finally came off your back, letting you finally breathe, until he crouched down and pushed you up against the side of the bed, holding you there. Reiner was pissed beyond belief, teeth bared at you. "He did. He did and even if he was right, I didn't care because I thought I could change you."
"But you never were able to, you failed. Nothing you can do can change how I feel about you. But what can I expect—" Your narrowed eyes met with his, seeing the conflicted anger bubble in his brown irises. A small smug smirk grew on your face, your head tilting off to the side tauntingly.
"A dog will always be a dog."
A singular hand wrapped around your neck in a flash, the sheer force making you gag as he cut off your air flow once more. You fought back, trying to pull off his arm with both of your hands around his forearm. Small little sparks flickered off of him, fear melting into your expression. If you weren't imagining it, that would've meant that he was ready to turn. If you so much as put the smallest scratch on him, he'd transform. He'd kill everyone in the vicinity because of you.
" 'M s... s-sorry." You strangled out and he finally let you go, watching you fall back onto the ground. Your neck had to be bruised from getting violently choked all the damn time.
"If that's how you see me, fine. I'll just fuck you like one since that's all you see me as."
What?! Did you hear him right? That was literally the last thing you wanted! And maybe that's why he's resorting to it, the sick fucker.
The sound of a belt unbuckling caught your attention and you panicked, quickly pushing him away and attempted to retreat by crawling. Everything in your body still sorely burned but it was better than getting your virginity taken. He grabbed you by the ankle and pulled you back, making you shriek in surprise. Before standing up, he placed you back in your original position, making you sit on the ground right in front of him with your head against the side of the mattress.
"I should've done this right from the start." Reiner sneered, pulling out his partially-hard dick from the confines of the dark uniform pants he wore. Your eyes widened at the sight of it, thighs and mouth clenching tightly as if they were suddenly glued together. On numerous awkward occasions and the night of the Porco incident, you've felt it up against you but never seen it like this; the only time you ever seen a dick was diagrams of it in class during the training corps.
But this monster!? No fucking way that thing of his would fit anywhere inside your body. It was stupidly thick, his hand loosely wrapped around the veiny shaft as he slowly stroked himself hard directly in front of you. The tip towards the midpart of his cock was slightly flushed a soft pink and when he tugged back the skin for you to see, the tip was actually a rosy color. You couldn't even bring yourself to describe how hefty his balls were as they rested on the outside of his pants.
Reiner's heart was thumping hard as he jerked himself right in front of your face, his cheeks burning up as your owlish eyes stared at it. Was it that fascinating? This was terribly embarrassing for him — he was still a virgin too and this was technically the first time he's done anything sexual in your conscious presence — but you've led him on for years, this was punishment for the cruel lies you've fed.
He let out a quiet, shaky breath when he showed you the tip, your curious eyes still observing him. God, the two of you should've done this way back in the honeymoon. Maybe this wasn't the way he wanted each other's first times to be, but he would be lying if your stubbornness wasn't completely making him hard right now.
Once it was completely at full mast, you were pretty sure it was bigger than the length of your face. This was a threat, a danger to your body.
"Open." You glared at him and shook your head in refusal, even going so far to put your hands over your mouth. Who the hell does he think he is? He scoffed, his free hand grabbing the hair at the back of your head and jerking it back roughly. Asshole.
"Open. Or else."
You rolled your eyes at him, removing one hand as if you were complying. Instead, you put your middle finger up and smugly smiled under your other hand. He frustratingly growled under his breath and pulled at your hair again, holding onto it this time around until your scalp began to sting. You started slapping and hitting at his thigh to make him stop, carefully trying to avoid touching it. If this went any longer, he'd probably sever your scalp from your skull. But he refused to let go, waiting until you took off your hand and replaced it with him.
"Alright! I'll fucking do it! Just stop!" Screaming into your hand, you finally unwillingly gave in after the pain got too much for you but hesitated to even lay a finger on it. He loosened his grip but still held onto your hair, lightly caressing it between his fingers.
He was still holding it in one hand so you put your hands on his thighs and nervously leaned in. Closing your eyes shut, you shakily placed the tip in between your lips. It was warmer than you thought, a sticky substance staining your lips as you began to pull away. Was that satisfying enough for him? Absolutely not. Unbeknownst to you, he had other plans, unexpectedly shoving his cock through and bottoming out completely.
Your eyes shot open as you gagged badly, trying to wiggle out of his grip and recoiling your head backwards against the mattress. Panic ran through your body as he refused to let go, only pushing in impossibly deeper down your throat. This wasn't meant to be in your mouth, much less shoved completely down your throat without care. You resorted to try and settle down, breathing through your nose in panicked bursts. If you threw up on him, he'd probably pull out but if he didn't, you'd choke on your own vomit.
An audible groan came out of him once everything was in and he clenched at your hair. Reiner partially felt sorry for doing this to you but he couldn't resist when he watched you basically give a cute little kiss on his tip. He tilted his head to the side, experimentally thrusting in short bursts and watching your reaction. The inside of your mouth was insanely hot and you kept vocally protesting, sending vibrations down and against his dick. You kept constantly moving, almost bobbing your head back and forth along with his light prodding, persistently trying to get him out. He felt your tongue stroking against the bottom of his shaft, a shiver going down his spine.
Your tear-stricken gaze looked up at him, inadvertently begging him to free you from this but he only felt himself become even more stiff. Shit, he could cum right there and now. It felt too good for him to take it out just because you were suffocating, you deserved all of this after all.
Tears began to fall down your cheeks as he kept his cock locked in, your jaw already aching from being pried open for so long. You tried biting down but the sheer thickness made it quite literally impossible. You didn't want to die suffocating on his dick, what a humiliating headstone that would be. Here lies Y/N Braun: Beloved daughter and wife, died being forced to appease her husband sexually since she wasn't able to escape Marley fast enough.
Reiner suddenly started to let out soft grunts and forcibly pushed you closer from the back of your head with both hands, your face flushed against his lower half. Something viscously warm went down your throat in inconsistent spurts, eyes widening in shock as you were forced to swallow the liquid. What the fuck, did he just—!?
Copious amounts of drool and still-warm cum spilled out as he finally pulled out, the fluids dribbling down your chin as you started coughing up a lung. The taste was unlike anything you had before, meshing from a dull salty to a bearable bittersweet flavor. To your horror, he was still hard, twitching right in front of you as pearl-like beads of white ran down his length. Weren't men supposed to go soft afterwards?
Reiner didn't say anything, only panting before crouching down to your level. You shot a glare at him as you rubbed your throat, heaving slowly. Unlike you, his large pupils were blown out with lustful possession and he dove in to kiss you, ignoring the fact that he was consuming his own fluids intermingled with your saliva.
You fought back, teeth hitting teeth. It only egged him on however, pushing you against the bedside as he continued to ravage your mouth, biting down on your bottom lip. An involuntary gasp slipped out and he pushed his tongue in, the muscle brushing against yours. You could barely breathe, completely overwhelmed with everything that was happening to you.
Large hands grabbed at your hips and pulled you closer to his lower half, your body twitching at the sudden movement. You went to shove him off while he was distracted sucking your face off, but he barely pulled away to let the two of you breathe. He rested his forehead against yours, eyes locked on each other as the two of you drew in intense, erratic breaths.
"Can Porco kiss you like that?"
You were rendered speechless, Reiner suddenly picking you up from the ground. You didn't fight him when he did, already exhausted and still shellshocked from what he had asked. He laid you down on your back but your legs still dangled off the bed, confusion forming in your expression. His figure shadowed over you, the lamp barely illuminating his features.
He thought you were still so pretty despite becoming a mess that he caused, your eyes still glimmering in uncertainty. Since you've graciously let him accidentally ejaculate in your mouth, he had to return the favor to you, even if he was still angry at you. Tonight was the night to do absolutely everything, even if you still hated him at the end. He'll change your feelings towards him no matter what, even if he reached the end of his Titan's inheritance.
He dropped down in front of you, lifting up one of your legs and started placing short kisses down your calf to your inner thigh. It was sorta ticklish, partially because of his stubble, until he started needily sucking and licking the skin. You bit down on your tongue, tired of giving any satisfaction of whether something he did was pleasurable to you. He won't win, not this time around.
He reached for your other leg as he dropped the other on his shoulder, and repeated his actions, biting down when he was close to your womanhood. You winced at the pain, trying to push his face away with your hand. But before you could, Reiner pulled away and you swore you saw your blood stained on his teeth before he licked it away.
"What are you—" You inhaled sharply as a finger tentatively prodded against your covered hole, face immediately erupting in heat.
"You're wet." Reiner bluntly stated as he withdrew it, a string of your fluids still attached. He was just as surprised as you were. He didn't even do anything to you yet, unless you liked getting your throat stuffed with every inch of him. His cock twitched impatiently underneath him, no longer drenched with your saliva and his cum.
"W-wait that can't be, I-I..." You fumbled around your words, utterly lost on what was happening to your body. You tried to sit up but he started to tug your nightgown upwards, alarms setting off in your ears. You couldn't be attracted to this, to him.
"Hold on. R-Reiner st... stop—" You were cut short when he pressed two of his fingers back onto the dampened cloth, slowly beginning to rub up and down. One hand shot up to your mouth, swallowing down any little moans that tried to escape. The pleasurable shivers from the last time he fondled you were back, a shudder going down your spine.
Reiner wanted more, almost ripping the fabric off. But he restrained himself, no matter how much his dick was begging to be touched or be inside of you. He pulled them off, weaving it through your legs before you could protest and enveloped his mouth in-between your slickened folds. He groaned heavily against you, eyes almost rolling to the back of his head. You tasted so sweet, better than he had ever imagined in his mind. He began to lap up the liquids that continued to gush out with every stir of his tongue, your thighs squishing his head.
He could die a happy man now that he finally had a taste of you.
You shivered as his tongue teased around your hole, greedily licking up your arousal that continued to spill out. The hand against your mouth clenched into a fist and your fingers ached as they gripped the sheets underneath you tightly, head throwing back as he began to attentively suck on your hardened clit. Why the hell was he so good? It was impossible to think that he learned this from someone else.
Unconsciously, you pushed your hips more towards his face and bucked when he laid his tongue flat against you. Soft moans started to slip out along with your panting, the fuzzy pleasure getting to your head. His hands grabbed the meat of your thighs and forced you to stay open, his grip tightening if you tried to close them. This shouldn't feel so good, betrayal whispering in every cell of your brain.
"Reiner," A pathetic whimper of his name came out of your mouth before you could stop it. He looked up at you, still dragging his tongue from your entrance to the hardened nub. "Please, please stop, s-something doesn't feel right."
He ignored you per usual, as if anything you say now would change anything, but his eyes never left yours. There was a sort of pressure building up around your lower half and it was terrifying, you didn't know what was going to transpire. As if he knew what was happening, the pacing of his tongue quickened, your hand shooting up and grabbing his hair. The sensation was too much for you to handle. As you tried to tug him away from your pussy, he moaned against you, a shot of pleasure running through you.
You were close, he could tell from how much you desperately started to ride against his tongue, his nose nudging against your clit with every little flinch. The influx of juices that were leaking out started to even become more apparent. You couldn't hide it, you loved him pleasuring you. He would've been willing to do this for you whenever you asked, all you had to do was let him into your heart. As much as he wanted you to suffer, he's a kind man, he'll let you release in his mouth. Without hesitation, Reiner started to rub your clit with his fingers as he tongue-fucked your entrance, feeling your walls clench around the muscle.
Your involuntary moans became louder until your orgasm hit you fast and hard, your back arching as blinding white stars filled your vision. Your body shuddered and rode against his face, your hand accidentally gripping his hair too hard and pulling him close to your pussy. It felt like you were knocked dizzy as if he had struck you once more, panting heavily as you came down from that giddy high bit by bit. He finally pulled away but still was lazily rubbing your clit, your body quivering with every teasing rotation.
"You did so good baby, you're so good." Reiner quietly praised, placing a wet kiss on your thigh. You couldn't say anything in reply, still completely drained out of everything. He removed his fingers away and got up, your body lightly twitching from the loss of contact.
You had to watch him remove his shirt, heart skipping as you saw the ripples of muscle you've avoided to look at for years. God, you missed out on a lot. His chest was beefier than you expected, only feeling it against you through his hugs and the occasional times that you've accidentally touched them.
He pushed down his pants further, almost completely bare from what you were able to see. There was a trail of slightly dark blonde hair above the base of his dick, the wisps of it stopping below his belly button. The sound of thuds from his boots followed suit and were shoved aside with his foot. Terror began to claw out through the warm haze as he pulled you more to the edge by your hips and started to line his cock up to your entrance, the fat tip nearing your hole as he held onto one of your thighs to keep you open.
"W-Wait Reiner, it's not going to fit!" You begged, the realization finally hitting. You were going to get destroyed by him. If you finally got fucked, there was no going back. There was a chance that you were never going to be the same person ever again afterwards.
"I don't care, I'm fucking you whether or not it fits." He lowly growled, his personality doing a complete turnaround suddenly. You tried struggling, hands shooting up to his chest and pushing, digging your nails into his stupidly meaty pecs as he ignored you. Your legs were wildly kicking around in protest from a sudden shot of adrenaline, but the hand on your thigh had squeezed you to the point where you thought he would rip your flesh right off if you kept fighting him. There was no way out of this anymore, complete and utter hopelessness settling in the pit of your stomach as you finally gave into his desire.
He pushed the uncut tip in through your folds, a pained whine coming out of you as he continued to stretch you out. It burned as he slowly and completely sheathed himself in you, hot tears falling down your cheeks. He was simply too big for your poor body to handle, unused to anything being inside. You uncontrollably tightened around him, almost hyperventilating from the pain.
"Reiner it hurts, take it out please!" You cried out and tried to move off of it, only meeting with painful throbs in your gaped cunt. The hand that held you open went to your hip and kept you steady, still speared around his cock.
Reiner used his free hand and wiped your tears away, licking his thumb afterwards. Was that supposed to be some form of dull comfort? What a jerk, punishing you like this. A few more agonizing seconds went by and he experimentally rolled his hips against you, a gasp shooting out of you as you felt the tip briefly press against your cervix.
You started pleading with a mantra of his name, teary eyes inspecting his, searching for some sort of penitence. There was nothing, nothing but a burning fire of anger. It was your fault that it had gotten this far, the rage blinding him to go through this sort of tortuous action.
Maybe if you let him do you once before, he would've been satiated from the start.
He was holding himself back, feverish gummy walls clenching onto his cock like a vise. You were babbling like an idiot from the slightest movement, saying his name as if it was the only thing that was keeping you from going mad. He thought that it was cute how you started shortening his name to only Rei, he'd never heard that before.
"Did you forget how much you hate my guts? How much you'd rather die than get fucked by me, a dog?" Reiner finally spoke, taunting as he began to rub your clit, watching how your head rolled back into the messed up sheets in complete submission.
"Fuck. I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You whimpered out a quick apology, the same build-up of pressure forming in the pit of your stomach. Why were you apologizing? You never felt the slightest bit of pity for this man before, but you'd do anything for him to get this thing out of you as soon as possible.
"Rei, I'm sorry. I really am. You're not — ah — you're not a dog. Y-you're not. T-take it out please, you're too big."
"Sorry doesn't fix what you said." He felt you clench up, pulling him in deeper. He started to pick up his pace, embarrassing squelching sounds of your sopping pussy becoming louder as he started to steadily pound into you. Reiner watched with every heavy thrust he made, your stomach would slightly bulge out. He almost laughed at the sight, he really is too big for you.
"Reiner—"
"Sorry doesn't fix what you wrote." You couldn't stop yourself from crying out as he ceaselessly bobbed back and forth, the stretch becoming less and less painful the more he fucked you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he hit a particular spot within you, core squeezing. He took notice from how your muscles tightened around him, beginning to angle himself to only hit that specific area, a towering pleasure enveloping your insides. This cursed man and his godforsaken attentiveness.
"Rei—"
You couldn't hold back your moans any longer, the constant stimulation on your clit and within your pussy was undeniably too good for your body to ignore.
"Sorry doesn't fix three years of lies." Reiner pushed himself in roughly, his lower half flushed against yours and you immediately fell apart, wanton moans following as you came on his cock in short spasms. His hand gripped your hip in an achingly rigid fashion as your walls fluttered, trying to milk him for all he's worth.
Disgust began to crawl in and you turned your head away from him as the euphoria fogged up your thoughts once more. He didn't stop despite you already finishing, short little whimpers escaping you as you felt his veiny shaft continuously bully your oversensitive walls. He leaned in and forced you to face him once more, kissing you hard but slow. Your arms wrapped around him suddenly, your hands clawing down into his back. He winced against your mouth and bit down on your lip in return, a painful cry slipping out as you pulled away for air.
Reiner dove back to kiss you, barely giving you any second to recuperate. Your moans muffled against his mouth as you came again without warning, wrapping your legs around his waist at the same time as you unintentionally pulled his torso closer to yours with your arms. He let out a soft groan against your lips and you felt a burning warmth fill your insides up, devastation immediately filling your mind.
This was it. Everything that you've worked so hard for in order to prevent this scenario had crumbled to pieces. Was it really worth it to even try in the first place? You despised him, you hated his entire being so much.
You then realized that he hadn't pulled out, vaguely feeling that he was still hard but his pace going back to a slow rock. You were so exhausted and so sensitive, what more did he want out of you?
He could see that you were already getting weaker, slow and heavy breaths against his chest. Your pussy was still so warm and tight that his mouth nearly watered as he leisurely fucked you at a snail's pace. He needed more, needed more of you.
While still sheathed inside, Reiner lifted you up further into the middle of the bed and slowly turned you around, making you hold yourself up on your hands and knees. As much as your limbs burned and ached, every light movement he made within you had you twitch and gasp, grasping at the sheets beneath your palms. He carefully removed your nightgown, weaving it through your arms and head with little resistance and threw it somewhere in the room. You didn't try to hide your bare body from him anymore, flinching as you felt him lean over and lovingly kiss down from your nape to your back. For some reason, that pained you even more.
"You wanted a dog," Reiner's voice gruffly whispered into your ear, your eyes widening as his hips began to move away from yours. "So I'll give you a dog."
He completely pulled himself out of your pussy and sheathed it back in all at once, the thickness filling up your insides. You cried out in shock, almost barely noticing the fact that his inhumanely stiff cock was no longer hurting you but instead flooding your body with an undeniable pleasure. His hands gripped the side of your hips once more, setting a brutal pace that nearly had you start drooling.
With this new position that Reiner put you in, it felt like his cock was pushing impossibly deeper with every aggressive stroke and the oversensitivity had caused your gummy walls to keep squeezing along with his thrusts. Your arms were shaking even more, barely able to keep yourself up on your hands.
"Fuck baby, you're squeezing me so much." He groaned and from his tone, you knew he had the smuggest grin on his stupid face.
"Almost makes me think that you like getting fucked in this position." Reiner's warm body leaned against your back and one of his hands left your hip, wrapping itself around your throat and forcing you to make eye contact with him.
You were right — he was smiling like an idiot — a faint sheen of sweat laid on the skin of his face, small beads rolling down. From the lamp's light, you could see that he was flushed pink, similar to when he began to get alcohol into his system. Little did you know that he was pussy-drunk, obsessed in the way you squeezed down on his shaft with every thrust he did, trying so desperately to look like you weren't enjoying this when your body was saying otherwise.
"For someone that says that she hates me, you sure are taking me so well." He cooed, his teeth biting down on the corner of his lip.
"F-fuck you." You barely managed to say those words with his hand choking you but he finally let go, strands of hair falling into your face. Reiner chuckled to himself while placing his hand on the midst of your back, pushing you down until your chest was pressed against the bedding and your ass facing up.
"What do you think I'm doing?" Both of his hands resumed back onto the peaks of your hips and he started plunging his cock into you at an alarming rate. The unwavering pattern of wet slaps of skin-on-skin contact paired with the sounds of his heavy breathing and your short gasps started to make your head spin. Reiner's hands were squeezing your hips so tightly as he continued to ravage your drenched and dribbling hole, you were sure that his handprints left their mark behind.
It was animalistic and you could feel yourself slowly losing to the carnality of it all. In a matter of minutes without realizing it, you began to rock yourself back and forth to match up to his thrusts. Does it really matter anymore? Might as well enjoy it as much as you can.
"Hah— You wanna cum?" His hand slipped around, his fingers dawdling around your swollen clit, not quite putting pressure on it but enough to where it made you desperate.
You nodded quickly against the mattress and a sharp strike on your ass was given, your body jolting from the suddenness of it.
"Use your words." He teased and you swallowed your pride, tilting your head to the side.
"I wanna — ngh — I wanna c-cum." You mumbled quietly only to retrieve another strike to your ass, the flesh jiggling under his palm. His pace slowed back down, the pressure within you slowly fading away. No, no, no. You were almost there. You attempted to buck back on his cock in an urgent fashion but he held you still, frustration bubbling in your mind.
"Louder." His fingers traced over the welts and bruises on your skin, a shiver going down your spine. "Louder and I'll give you what you want."
You forgot that he was torturing you. This whole thing that he started was a punishment but the way his words and his light touches immediately went down to your cunt, you couldn't help but feel your body betray your mind. It felt too embarrassing to repeat until the fingers on your clit pressed down with more pressure and started to rapidly circle around the nub.
Why was he doing this? Part of you could care less, not when you could feel yourself getting close again. You moaned, grinding against his movements as if any apprehension that you once had before never existed in the first place. Close, you were getting so close once more and then he abruptly stopped, the pads of his fingertips slipping out from in-between your puffy lips.
You looked back at him with almost glassy eyes, a crushing disappointment bubbling in your throat. "W-what?! Why'd you stop?"
Reiner only smiled, as if he had done no harm. "What do you want again baby? I'm sorry, it slipped my mind."
Is... is he serious? No, he had to be joking. The cruel bastard was building you up, only to make you dissatisfied. Dissatisfied and wanting more. You bit the side of your tongue.
"I want you to make me cum." The familiar feeling of his hand hitting your ass again had your skin begin to throb, a pained cry escaping you. "P-Please."
"So polite are we?" You could feel the pads of his fingertips near your clit once more but his cock started to slip out of you, every slow inch of his veiny shaft sliding out of your walls left you breathless. He barely left the tip in you, mixed essences from the both of you beginning to slowly spill out and down your inner thighs. "But I didn't quite catch that."
From there, over and over, Reiner built you up towards your impending climax, only to pause when you were right about to burst. It was like he knew you were almost about to get there, as if he was some kind of prophet. His fingers were wet with slick and cum, and you were acutely aware of his cockhead tormentingly moving in and out of your hole with little to no movement.
Your body was trembling, not from the exhaustion anymore, and a complete haze of lust and desire sunk its claws deep into the crevices of your mind. How much longer would he play this game of his? You knew he was holding himself back, tormenting himself from the satisfaction he was seeking for the entire night. As his fingers slipped away from your swollen cunt for the umpteenth time in a row, all of a sudden, something inside you cracked.
"Reiner, please please I wanna cum. I-I need to cum. God, just fuck me already!" You cried out, grinding your lower half against his for any sort of stimulation in absolute delirium. Reiner felt your hand try to slip him back into you, but only resulting in his cock messily slipping through and clumsily bumping against your clit. You whined in mute anger but still rubbed yourself against the stiff shaft, making do with what you were given.
He was thrown off from how quickly you folded to his request, almost freezing at the sight. To see you in such an achingly frantic state was everything that he didn't know he needed. His poor, poor wife, maddened by the desire and pleasure. You missed out for years due to your pathetic vows to abstain from any sexual contact from him and now that you've gotten a taste, you became immediately addicted to the feeling. To him. How cruel it was for him to keep you away from his cock, his heart aching as tears begin to fall down your beautiful face. Oh how can he stay mad at you?
After all, he can never say no to his beloved wife.
As promised, he started putting more pressure as he rubbed your clit, sheathing his dick quickly inside of your hole. You've never felt such relief in your life, walls squeezing and welcoming his thickness in with every greedy plunge.
"Fuck, fuck, fuckkkk..." You mindlessly drawled out curses into the wrinkled sheets and he muttered jokingly about something about you being so foul-mouthed but who the hell cares? A smile grew on your face until you saw white stars, searingly coming undone once more around his shaft. You could feel his tip press against your cervix, your figure stiffening and jerking against him with every quick spasm. His heavy body leaned over against your back, mouth enveloping the crook of your neck and biting down as he came with you, hot spurts of cum filling up your womb even more.
Unlike the other three times you came this evening, this orgasm ripped through your body. You might as well have blacked out from the blinding ecstasy.
You could barely feel yourself be turned back around, eyes tiredly flickering over and looking at his face. You stared at him absently, mind slowly going back in time. There were times throughout your life from when you've known Reiner that you've thought that he was irrevocably handsome. Yes, you've once and had begun to always considered him as family as a soldier, but you couldn't fault yourself for looking at your friend — husband — as more than something from time to time when the two of you were younger.
He's always been there for you, had seen you at your worst moments and yet, yet... he was the one that stayed. When you've made numerous attempts at his life, when you've nearly died from a Titan and blood loss, when the two of you would get in trouble with the superiors in Paradis; over and over, Reiner would be there. No matter what, he's the constant in your life, be it by choice or not.
He was kissing down your neck, nipping at your skin, and leaving purple marks with every light kiss. His calloused hand brushed against one of your tits, palming and squeezing at the flesh before he dove in and began sucking at the hardened bud. Your breath hitched as you watched and felt him roll his tongue around your nipple, kneading the other one with his free hand.
Sucking your breasts seemed to leave him entranced, a heavy sigh leaving him as he started to grind himself against the area underneath you. In the weirdest way possible, it was almost memorizing watching him, softly moaning when he switched over to the other breast. This whole experience was making you crazy, maybe as insane as he is.
Reiner muttered something against your chest about milk coming in and how good the taste would be, quietly assessing your expression afterwards. There was a hint of indifference within your eyes but you couldn't muster up any more words to snap back to him, complete exhaustion weighing heavy on your slackened limbs. You could say the same about him, it seemed that he was barely running on anything as well but that damned determination in his eyes said otherwise.
You knew his goal. You knew that this wasn't the last time the two of you were going to do this until he reached it. Maybe even then, he wouldn't even stop there either. That's just who Reiner is, the stubborn man.
He reached over to brush the strands out of your sweaty face, the burning warmth of your cheeks connecting against his palms.
"I love you."
You didn't even realize that he had pulled out from before, but regardless of that, he still positioned himself above you to push his dick back in your dripping sore cunt again. His thighs had rested on top of yours and he began to push your legs back towards your chest, holding you open by his muscled arms. Though he towered over you, he positioned himself to face you, his hazel eyes lovingly staring down into yours.
"Say it back." He let out a quiet whimper as he pushed his sensitive cock back into you, your brain melting at the overstuffed feeling that it gave you once more. "Please."
The gentleness of the way he said it, even within your dazed mind, had your heart pounding.
"I love you." He stated again as he began to rut his thick cock into your used core. You could only breathlessly moan in response, feeling him even deeper than before. You've never realized how much burningly warm Reiner was when he's this close on top of you, his body almost swallowing yours. You watched as his face contorted in complete focus as he methodically rutted into you, his hefty balls slapping against your ass with every given thrust.
This was different, not like the other times in this long night. It was tender, cautious. It was as if he was afraid of breaking you, as if you were suddenly the most fragile thing in the world. For some unknown reason, this realization made your stomach flutter like nothing else before. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to your face.
The two of you stared at each other quietly, lips parted and steadily heaving. Without the fuel of your hatred, all you could think of was how lovely he looked like this, as if he belonged in this position above you.
You moved and pushed yourself upwards, willingly kissing him for the first time in years. You lost yourself to the feeling of his lips on yours, all the while as his cock continued to spear your hole. Unlike him for most of the night, he stiffened and stilled, hesitantly kissing you back in return. The confirmation that he desperately sought for years, this was more than enough for him. His thrusts picked back up and became more steadier in pace, taking his time in pleasing the two of you.
He pulled away from your swollen lips for air, his breath shuddering as your aching walls quivered around him. Your hands cupped his face, quietly begging him to give you one more orgasm. One more but you’re so spent and sensitive, unsure if you had another one in you. You had to, for him.
"C-cumming, 'm cum—!"
You wordlessly cried out from another body-wracking orgasm, legs wrapping around his waist tightly and pulling him in even deeper than humanly possible. Your body became so pliable underneath him and without skipping a beat, he began to slam himself harder into you, the squelch of his cock jutting into you becoming louder by the second. To impregnate you with his child, that would be his final parting gift to you when he gives up his Titan. He had to reach his goal, hell, he might've already from the first time he got into your pussy.
There was always a however. Even then when he unfortunately leaves you alone with his kid, what Reiner wanted the most in the entire world was to hear you say that you loved him. Not in the fake way that you did for the past three years, but as your true self. The one that he had completely exposed tonight and the one he fell in love with ever since that fateful sparring day.
"Please Y/N, say it back." He panted and you tiredly shook your head, biting at your bottom lip. "I need you to say it out loud."
"I... I-I can't. Reiner, I just ca— HMPH!" He quickly silenced you with another kiss, rejecting the notion.
Why? Why? Why? Why can't you? It didn't make sense nor did it settle well in his stomach. Of course there were things that you could never forgive him for, he was dangerously flawed for the most part but somehow, in some way, he wanted you to see him as redeeming. If you can't, then how can he live with the burden of everything he's done?
Reiner suddenly removed his lips from yours again, pressing his forehead against yours, his eyes closed tightly shut as he worked towards his final orgasm. His movements were becoming more erratic until his lower half stilled and once more, you could feel his hot cum spill into your womb, occasionally rutting to push the liquid impossibly deeper. His grunts were broken and airy, as if he had been finally emptied of everything in him.
The two of you were quiet despite the heavy breathing that was unevenly shared. A few minutes later, he slowly started to slide his softened cock out of your achingly raw pussy.
You laid there, used and tired. Reiner didn't move from on top of you and you almost knocked out before small, warm splatters made contact against your chest. You reopened your eyes to see him crying over your body, his lip quivering and his body shaking.
"Why are you...?" You began with a hoarse voice, attempting to sit up.
"Five years."
"What?"
"I have five years left," For some reason, your blood ran cold and your heart sank down to your stomach. "It's a Titan inheritor thing. Whoever receives any of the Nine Titans has thirteen years to live."
Reiner looked at you, trying to wipe away his tears with a short laugh. "I know you won't forgive me, I wouldn't either. I'm just another devil that couldn't keep his hands or eyes to himself, and I'm a shameless traitor for bringing you here but Y/N..."
His hand reached over and caressed your cheek slowly, just like he did when he brought you over to Marley. "I really do love you. No matter what, my very heart and soul belongs to you. Do what you want to me but nothing — nothing — about how I feel towards you will ever change."
Tears of your own started to trail down your cheeks, your head shaking slowly. Why were you crying? Isn't that what you wanted? It's strange, feeling this new moderation towards him. No matter how much you pushed him away or attempted to kill him, he took the pain. Was it because he knew how little time he had left? Yet on the same side of the coin, was he lying in order for you to feel bad about his situation?
You don't know. For the first time, you've never felt so unsure of yourself. It should be final, you should've only felt complete hate for this man but...
"Say something, anything." Reiner put his hands on your shoulders, his grip tightening as he shakily spoke.
"Hit me, choke me, spit at me. I'm a selfish monster, I ruined everything for you."
Fear. You've seen such an expression on his face before, when you knocked him out with the pills and when he almost lost you to that Titan. Yet something about this face of his made you feel indifferent, guilty even. You realize now that it wasn't a suitable look for him.
"Yeah, you did ruin everything." You quietly replied, completely sitting yourself up and moving towards him cautiously.
"My home, my family, my dreams of becoming a proud soldier in the Survey Corps. All of those things, you took them away from me." Taking his head into your hands, you started to wipe the tears away from his face. He looked stunned as you began to slowly climb on top of him, your dripping pussy rubbing steadily against his partially-hard cock, belly half swollen with his cum.
"Maybe I still hate you for that Reiner and I'll spit on your grave when it comes to it, but there's one thing I can't deny." You airily giggled as you lined yourself up once his cock hardened.
"I love the way you fuck me."
His knuckles turned white as you lowered yourself down, completely sheathing him inside you. His face softened in pleasure as you began to ride him; ah yes, this is what you liked to see. Your legs were shaking like no other but the pleased smile you had on your face was unwavering.
"If you make me cum enough times, I might just say that I love you too."
Reiner's hands immediately latched onto your bruised hips, a similar grin growing on his face. He's got you right where he wanted you. You may think you had always had the upper hand till now, but he's not stupid. Getting you addicted to the feeling of his cock was the first step, next was you getting comfortable with the idea of having his kids. Well, you could already be halfway there from the way you were slamming your hips down into his.
He buried his face into your neck, his canines dragging against the marked skin as you bounced yourself on his length. Though what he said about his short lifespan was true, he'll spend it fucking you stupid, until you can really mean your 'I love you's'.
The devil he couldn't resist from the land of hell. You were his and he was yours.
Forever and more, till the end of time.
87 notes · View notes
respondedinkind · 3 months
Text
Okay, okay, so... the new year isn't here yet, but 2023 is coming to an end very soon and I have planned to make a post - so here it is.
What this post is about? You!
I just want to be here and say thank you to everyone who has joined me here on my blog, even though I haven't been around for long. I am insanely grateful for each and every single one of you being here, for all the good memories you allowed me to make, and that so many of you welcomed me - and my muse - with open arms. I am so happy that you gave - and still give - me opportunities to explore my own writing and my muse's behaviors, and I just cannot stop saying it enough: THANK YOU!
I met some incredible people over the last months - some of which are people that I have RPed with before and where I was oh-so-excited to have them met again, after all these years of me having been separated from my Khan-muse because of fandom-changes, interest-changes, whatnot; For those of you who don't know, I first started to write Khan in 2012, BEFORE Star Trek into Darkness even aired, solely based on speculations and a teaser trailer lol. It wasn't very serious, but then definitely developed into what is my most-written muse after the movie finally came out and Khan just invaded my brain like some kind of parasite.
Since then, I have made a few blogs, kept writing Khan for a couple of years, then went on hiatus - remade, revamped, wrote for a few more years, disappeared... and now here I am again, with an AU-Version I was very, very scared to just put out here but now I am so, so glad I did. Thank you all for allowing me to write it, and yeah, I'm repeating myself, but... the opportunies I got and still get? So wonderful. Thank you so much for giving my Khan a chance.
Besides that, I also expanded my horizon a little and made two more blogs: One is on a little hiatus right now, while I am very active on the other thanks to some wonderful human beings who basically set my love for that character into flames. I hope that, and I mean that with the utmost sincerety, my choice of 'second and especially third muse' is not taken as a will to replace anything or anyone, but rather me being so immensely starstruck by other writers that have given me such a great insight and made me want to explore the depths as well.
Okay, okay, this is already insanely long and I am so sorry (I am unsure if anyone will ever read this lol), but now I want to give a shout out to ALL OF YOU, who are here, writing with me! All of you are so, so amazing and I am so glad to have met you, and I hope we can continue to write for as long as our muses and our creativity will let us. Thank you, again, and please take a look at those awesome people in case you aren't already following each other:
First of all, amazing writers and amazing people in general that I look up to (in no particular order), who are inspiring me in so many ways, make me feel a bit like a teenager gazing at their favorite star (lol) and just... are great people, yes, that I just want to mention separately for varying reasons:
@ssolessurvivor (Friend! Omg! When you first followed me, I could never imagine how things would ever develop - and how well Logan would fit to Khan, how their story developed into what it is now, so deeply plotted and filled with so many sub-stories and little moments that push both our muses along, allow me to explore my Khan on so many levels... it's insane how attached he is to your Logan, and I am so, so happy about us being in so much contact and just keep plotting and talk about everything! You are such a friendly mun and I am so, so grateful that you indulge me, even over on Stephen (hehe). I hope we can keep writing for a long time; Thank you so much for letting me throw in all my ideas about Khan, all the quirky things about him, I am so, so grateful!!! ♥)
@darehearts (I felt insanely welcomed by you, giving my Khan *and* my Bones such a chance to interact with Kirk ♥ Thank you so much for that, and thank you so much for indulding in my Khan-joins-the-crew idea as a Kirk-writer. That's definitely not something you need to do and yet you allow me. Ahhh! I was so blown away when you asked me if I wanted to become mains sdfasadfasd. Still am honestly because I am just a potato haha. Thank you for being here and being such a kind person ♥)
@strxngetimes (seriously, I was so nervous approaching you first but I am so glad I did; I do look up to you like you're some kind of superstar (haha) and I am still amazed that you gave me the chance of exploring things the way we do. Thank you for indulging me AND enduring me (and my muse lol), and you really, really inspire me in so many ways when it comes to your Stephen, it's amazing. You actually caused my interest for him to go back up into flames and for me to join the MCU fandom lol (and I would also bother you on your tony BUT i am SO UNWORTHY hahaha). Thank you - I hope we can keep writing for a while longer ♥ And I look forward to everything that might further develop between Khan and Stephen. Very much <3 Love them a lot!)
@mehrere-musen (Ok but really, of course I have to mention you. The way you accepted me, the way we started to write and things just??? Happened??? I love interacting with you and your Stephen and I love the way he works with Khan too, and I am so happy that you allowed me to be with the two where they are. Our thread has almost 800 notes by now which is insane, and with how we keep having ideas, it might go further than that lol. Thank you so much for indulging me - and thank you to Stephen to make Khan so insanely happy. :) ! I hope we can continue to write for a long time! ♥)
@fasciinating (SPAWK! I know we don't do a lot of OOC chatting in any way but our thread??? You are so good for just throwing us into that mess and for you to be like 'lmao ok here let Khan do whatever' and where are Spock and Khan now??? A NIGHTMARE LOL. I love the creativity and how you maneuvered us into that mess of a situation and how we can just seriously fuck moments up and go 'ah yeah somehow there's a rabbit also the world explodes'. I also love the way you write Spock! Thank you so much for giving my Khan a chance, despite his 'AU-ness', and that I get to explore such an interesting storyline! I was also very happy to have found you again, because I remember you from a long time ago (even though we didn't write much back then I think? But I remembered your name!)).
@sxbaist (MY BELOVED! God, you have no idea how insanely happy I was when I realized you were still there. Vega has stolen Khan's heart back when we first wrote so many years ago and when I rebooted him with his AU Version, my heart almost stopped when I saw you were still active and around. I was so, so nervous to approach you - but you welcomed me back, so did Vega welcome back my Khan, and honestly... I love them so, so much, and I adore you so much as a person. Thank you for doing all of that, for allowing me back, for Khan to have his wonderful woman back and for them to enjoy each other. It feels like as if they never got separated at all and I cannot express my gratitude enough, really. You as a person are so awesome as well and I will forever wait for your return! You are also the only other Khan I write with, so I will mention your @paramounticebound here too because your Khan is insanely great and I look up to him so, so much, people need to know!!!)
@vuulpecula (OK but listen, I know we also don't do much OOC chatting at all BUT!!! I just have to mention you here too because the things we do are just so??? SO??? HNNG like lmao we just write each other like 'ok what should happen' AND THEN DOOM HAPPENS to either Khan / Fox and Stephen / Fox LOL as if we got no chill really! I enjoy it a lot to explore those plots and see where things will go! Also you are such a kind person and so easy to talk to!!! Thank you for also indulging me on Stephen hehe ♥ and also all the things on Khan ofc!)
If I could, I would write every single one of you such a text, but alas... if I were to, I wouldn't be finished in 2025 (lol), so I hope you take my gratitude and my love for you as a combined package as well; You are all wonderful people and I am so glad to have you here, and it has been a joy - I hope it will continue to be a joy in the future too, and I cannot wait to see how things will develop (once again, in no particular order):
@whydotheykeeptakingmine ♥ @noblehcart ♥ @resignedworkaholics ♥ (also over on Stephen) @he1msman | @spacesk1pper | @entrpz ♥ (also on Bones) @ensnchekov | @cosmiicheskaya ♥ (also on Bones) @vulku ♥ @onlybonesleft ♥ @wtsns | @agntross ♥ (also over on Stephen) @goodheartedfool ♥ @oceansfirst ♥ (also over on Stephen) @kingofthewebxxx ♥ (also over on Stephen) @fallenregent ♥ @danversiism ♥ @nursc ♥ (also over at Bones) @nightmdic ♥ @brooklynislandgirl ♥ @defectivexfragmented ♥ (also over on Stephen) @haiiling ♥ @gcldenratio ♥ @hiippocrates ♥ @tangleweave ♥ (In case I have forgotten someone: I am so, so, so, so, sorry!!!!)
Also, last but not least: Should you not be named on this list, this does not mean I am not grateful for you or don't appreciate you! I thank you for being here, especially if we have already written something... and even if you follow me and I do not follow back, I am still immensely grateful that you're here in the first place, even if you might not stay ♥.
Thank you so much for every single one of you, really - everyone I mentioned here, everyone I did not. Because of YOU my experience on this (and my two other blogs) is what it is. Without you I wouldn't be where I am now, I wouldn't be able to explore my Khan, my Bones, my Stephen, and I wouldn't be able to have such a good time.
I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2024 - MAY GOOD LUCK, LOTS OF LOVE, HAPPINESS AND FORTUNE COME YOUR WAY! No matter where you are, or what your plans are... you are valid, you deserve to be here, you deserve to do what you want to do and you deserve all the good things coming for you.
THANK YOU.
L. finally over and out. (and if you read up this far, you'll get a cookie from me!)
33 notes · View notes
evtraininguniversity · 8 months
Text
Recipe Lore AU Snippet
Warden I was curious though, I noticed that you don’t post any recipes of your own blog. Is there a particular reason? I simply ask because I find myself curious about what dishes you enjoy, and maybe to try and make them as you have made the ones I’ve shared.
SitrusPieCrustle Ah. That. I do not make recipes. I just like cooking them. So I have nothing to share.
Warden I see. We are similar in this aspect then too.
SitrusPieCrustle How? You have shared many recipes.
Warden True, but please understand, they were gifted to me by friends that I can no longer visit. As a going away present of sorts I suppose would be the best way to put it. They often cooked most of these recipes during our time together and so I am grateful that they provided me succinct instructions on how to recreate them whenever I wish. My sharing them with the rest of the Internet was a fleeting desire, as I was hoping to, in part, share Hisuian culture to the modern day palette.
SitrusPieCrustle The inherited cookbook, right? I presume they have passed then. From your wording. sorry if wrong
Warden They have.
SitrusPieCrustle Sorry for your loss. Very sorry.
Warden No apologies necessary, it is a wound that has long since scabbed over.
SitrusPieCrustle Still. Sorry.
[What Emmet couldn’t have known was this: Ingo had spent a long day sitting and waiting for a promised phone call that never came. He had been told in advance by his case workers that they might have found a lead to his identity, but when the cellular device never rang it became clear that Ingo should retire his hopes for the night. It was incredibly late in the day, but just in time to have an active conversation with his newfound friend on his blog.
Their chats often took place hours in between each message due to the time zone difference, but he found it entirely soothing to talk about… literally anything other than the fact that he still hasn’t found the people his heart longed for. He needs a distraction, and he hopes that Sitrus needs one too.]
SitrusPieCrustle I have one recipe. if you want to hear it
Warden I would be delighted to.
[What Ingo couldn’t have known was this: Emmet was verrry grateful that the website that hosted their Private Messages didn’t have a function to show when someone was typing. Otherwise, the minutes in-between while he failed and failed again to type: ‘when me and Ingo-’ backspace ‘as kids my twin and I-’ backspace ‘something I loved to do with my brother-’ backspace would have had him stressing about how his online pal was interpreting it.
Even now, after all this time, it still smarted to talk about his memories of Ingo. Some days were better than most, and on this day he settled.]
SitrusPieCrustle Have you ever made homemade Castelia Cones?
Warden I don’t think I know what that is. We do not have it here at least. Care to inform me, please?
SitrusPieCrustle It’s ice cream. Safe for Pokémon to eat. And incredibly easy to make from home. Not as tasty though. I’ll teach you. It will be fun. Promise :^)
Warden I believe you and am excited to learn!
91 notes · View notes
rallamajoop · 2 months
Note
I recently found your blog while working on some things for a Heisenberg fic, and I love it! It made me think more about this HC that I have about Urias and Heisenberg. Since you have a lot of posts that talk about the game files and things like that, I wanted to ask your informed opinion on this if that's alright?
My HC is that Urias is actually Heisenberg's father--not just due to the fact that the concept art and character models look too similar to be a coincidence (in my opinion; I'd also like to add that I've never found anything that confirms or denies (or even refrences) this anywhere online, so if I'm missing something, feel free to let me know!).
I always imagined Heisenberg being close to his father, who likely was the one to teach him everything he knows in terms of engineering (I almost wonder if his name could be Karl Heisenberg Jr., his father being closer in reference to the physicist he's based on than Heisenberg himself. I hope that made sense-).
I imagine Miranda took his father first, whose experimentation results were close to what she was looking for, but no cigar (pun intended), so her next best bet was to hop down the family tree to his son--which yielded much more promising results--giving us the Heisenberg we know and love.
This would definitely explain why Heisenberg is much closer to the lycans than any other character, and why he's able to wrangle them so easily, because he's related to one--even if the consciousness of that relationship is long gone.
I'm so sorry if I came off as weird or anything, your blog just really kind of livened-up my HC and my fic ideas in general, and honestly makes me feelnreally confident about it and wanted to know your thoughts. Thank you! :)
Honestly, my initial kneejerk reaction to this one was “Jeebus, doesn’t the guy have enough dads already?” But on a second thought, heck, maybe there’s actually something to this idea…
Tumblr media
The info we get on the possible Heisenberg family from the notes from the concept art is all over the place, and concepts for Heisenberg’s father are the worst offenders. Sturm was supposed to be his real father, Heisenberg’s monster form was supposed to be his father’s, the village leader was supposed to be his father... I assume these were different ideas from different phases (or one was a step-dad?) but sheesh, how many dads does one guy need?
Tumblr media
Meanwhile, the one thing we do learn about Urias (apart from the fact he seems to part of some extended Urias family) is that he was supposed to be the village’s leader at some point… but that’s where this whole thing might just get interesting. Because if Heisenberg’s father was meant to be the village leader, and Urias was also supposed to be the village leader… could there have been a point in development where both were true at once, and Heisenberg’s father was going to be Urias? (I mean, as well as the village leader, presumably.)
I mean, they’re both beard-y, grey-haired dudes with a love for giant hammers and long coats. It’s not for nothing that so many fans came out of the early previews for this game assuming Urias was just Heisenberg in lycan form. Those concept pics of Heisenberg's father in a trenchcoat with a shock of grey hair aren't a million miles from Urias' design either.
Tumblr media
There's some plausibility to the idea of Miranda experimenting on members of the same family too, especially if they've got cause to claim descent from one of the four founders. I speculated as much myself about what might have happened to the rest of the Beneviento family in my post on her background. Heisenberg specifically strikes me as more the sort of guy who probably wasn't born in the village, given he names his monsters in German, mocks the very idea of his lordship (more on that here), and is clearly the least brainwashed member of the family. But that's interpretation ‒ there's nothing truly definitive either way.
You'd have a harder time squaring 'an engineer who taught Karl all he knew' with Urias' role as the village leader, though ‒ I have trouble picturing anywhere as superstitious, isolated and backward as the village being led by someone with that much 'outsider' knowledge to pass onto his son. RE has certainly tried to sell us on wilder things, but it doesn't really click for me.
Tumblr media
As for Heisenberg's affinity for lycans, that's more debatable. He certainly seems to be commanding them at the start of the game (just to really cement all those lycan!Heisenberg theories!) but past that point, any lycan associations dry up very quickly. There are no lycans to be found anywhere in the factory ‒ just soldats, and moroi wearing mind-control visors (called ‘haulers’, but they’re obviously just new versions of the creatures you meet in Donna’s domain). Why bother putting visors on skinny zombie creatures if he could command lycans without them? Doesn’t really seem like Heisenberg’s ability to control lycans goes far beyond ‘stop’ and ‘go’.
True, Heisenberg does leave his Rose-flask in a stronghold full of lycans. But he also sends Ethan to that stronghold, where he has to fight and kill Urias himself. The idea that Heisenberg was ever close to his lycan-dad is going to be hard to square with how casually he sends someone to kill Urias, or how pleased he seems that Ethan succeeded. In Heisenberg’s mind, lycans are nothing so much as they’re expendable – Urias included.
Tumblr media
So as far as the finished game goes, I think it’s probably reaching to suggest that Urias (of the extended Urias clan) is related to Heisenberg, who so casually throws him in Ethan’s way as a test. But the possibility that maybe Urias was going to be a Heisenberg at some point in development is a better explanation for the fact the Urias-clan are so big into hammers and trenchcoats than any other explanation I’ve heard yet. It’s certainly no crazier than so many other headcanons I’ve heard around this game.
Tumblr media
But speaking of the Urias-clan, let's cover the other Uriasi you can find around the game. Urias Strajer (the bigger version of Urias with the mace that Chris fights near the megamycete) is supposedly Urias' older brother ‒ something the concept art wants you to know so badly it's mentioned on pictures of both of them. So if you still want one of them to be Heisenberg's father, the other is presumably his uncle. Heck, maybe Strajer could be Heisenberg's father, and Urias could be the uncle he never liked very much (despite his excellent taste in hammers), if you want to explain Heisenberg's lacking reaction to Urias' death. Some of the game files for Strajer are labeled 'village elder', which also points some kind of connection. Chock up some more evidence of Miranda experimenting on members of the same family too!
Tumblr media
The two axe-wielding optional bosses you can fight in the sawmill and over Claudia's grave are apparently Uriases too ‒ Urias Drac, specifically, though you'd only know that from RE.net, where you can see stats for how many of them you've killed in Mercenaries mode. Personally, I only realised they were supposed to be lycans at all because you can one-shot them with the magnum if you unlock the 'special customisation' that 'does extra damage against lycans' ("extra" apparently means "10x" in special-customisation land). But presumably they're based on the same unused design from the concept art of this one 'lycan' out walking his varcolacs too.
Tumblr media
Are these Uriasi too part of the greater Urias-family? Who knows ‒ that one's up to you. Their bodies, with that swollen weak point on the back, do match the model for Urias Strajer (shown below). In fact, I'm pretty sure all the Uriases use the same base model, just with different clothes, armour and hair. So there's some shared DNA in there somewhere (even if only in the sense that recycling a good model saves so many hours of development time).
Tumblr media
The name 'Urias' is apparently a term for giant in Romanian, which checks out. Strajer, meanwhile, apparently translates as 'guardian' or 'sentinel', which tracks with the fact Strajer's job is to guard the megamycete. 'Drac', meanwhile, seems to be the same word you might know from Dracul (dragon or devil) or Dracula (son of the above) ‒ though I am also amused that google translate tried to tell me 'urias drac' means 'huge fuck'. 'Giant demon' may be more on the money for that one. Either way, all this etymology does strongly suggest that 'Urias' is more a description than an actual family name. Which is somewhat reassuring, because nothing I've read about Romania suggests they put surnames first.
Probably just to annoy me, personally (because I absolutely will overthink this shit now you've got me started), one of the models used for regular-vanilla-Urias is randomly called 'Gregorio', a name that shows up nowhere else in the game. There is a Grigori ‒ he's that old guy who gave Ethan his first handgun before the lycans dragged him away.
Tumblr media
I really do not think we're supposed to take it that Urias is a lycanised Grigori, though ‒ that's rather too big a transformation in not nearly enough time. Otherwise, 'Gregorio' is neither Romanian or German (like both 'Karl' and 'Heisenberg' are) ‒ it's Italian or Spanish, which is just confusing. One of the four founders (more on them here) did have a vaguely similar name ‒ Guglielmo ‒ but I don't think that's really close enough to mean much either. 'Gregorio' could be the name of a developer who worked on the file once, for all I know.
So where does that leave us? Honestly, nowhere very exciting. None of the evidence of this greater Urias family was actually in the playable game (notes on concept art and names you have to find on an unrelated website are very tenuous canon at best). Still, Urias and Urias Strajer are similar enough that it's reasonable to assume they must have some sort of relationship. So take all this as you will (or not at all).
21 notes · View notes
xxmaxwellxx · 3 days
Text
Hello! Sorry for the delay but I’ve finished my first Yandere oc fanfic! Writers block and anxiety are a pain. Anyway, this is my first fanfic and I’m a tad dyslexic so forgive me for any mistakes! Please let me know if I missed anything with the trigger warnings and sorry for the formatting issues, I wrote this on my laptop. Also please give me constructive criticism and feedback! I’d like to start a blog dedicated to my writing and fanfic so any help is appreciated!
Tw: stalking, obsession and general Yandere behavior.
Gn reader (referred to with they/them pronouns)
Today was a nightmare, we had at least fifty customers during the lunch rush and what's worse is that a guy came in and was sitting at the same table for five hours and only left 30 minutes before closing, the clattering of plates echoing behind me as I wipe down his table, my body feeling like concrete, but I'm forced to keep going. Something crinkles and falls to the ground. Picking it up, I see it's a recipe with (XXX)-XXX-XXXX ‘call me ;)’ on the bottom. I let out a sigh, wading it up and throwing it in the garbage. Of course, he would do that. The guy who refused to leave was also a creep. Just as I'm about to leave, I notice a shadowy figure lingering outside the café, their gaze fixed on me. A chill runs down my spine, but I shake it off, attributing it to the exhaustion of the day. “Hey, I'm going to head out! Could you lock up for me?” I call out to Delilah, the nice old woman in the back. I grab my stuff after she responds in the affirmative. The bell ringing as I head out. I walk to the same bus stop I take every day, the last bus picking me up so often that the bus driver knows me by name.
Sitting down on the bench, I pull out my phone, scrolling through insta. A post from a famous influencer, a post of someone's dog in a newly knit sweater, someone advertising their small business. Just what you'd expect to see, but what I didn't expect was someone sitting next to me. I glance over at them, he’s wearing a white hoodie, sweatpants and sneakers. Nothing out of the ordinary except for his face, what was up with his face? Sunglasses? Why was he wearing sunglasses at night? He turns his head and I quickly turn away and look back at my phone, but I can feel him staring at me, practically burning a hole in the side of my head. I shrink into myself a little, his gaze never leaving me. I can see him out of the corner of my eye, but I can't make out his expression, his face completely obscured by a surgical mask. Should I speak up? Why was he just staring? Was there something on my clothes? Do I offend? The bus screeches to a halt in front of me, and I jump to my feet, quickly hurrying into a seat. Jeremy, the bus driver, gives me a weird look but doesn't say anything. I see the man board the bus, and I hope that he won't sit anywhere near me. That hope is instantly shattered when he stops in front of me. He's tall and intimidating. The light shines off his long black hair, creating a shadow over his face as he looks down at me. I can feel dread knotting up my stomach, I want to cry. I didn't even notice the tears gathering in my eyes, he holds something up, but I can't see it. I blink, the tears fall and I realize he's holding up my bag, “You forgot this.” his voice is low and gravelly like he just woke up. “Oh, thanks.” I say quietly, quickly taking my bag from him.
I look away, turning my gaze out the window, suddenly finding the passing cars more interesting than whatever he was doing at the moment. “I like your apron.” I side eye him, he's staring at me again. I didn't humor him with a response, “Where did you get it?” he's not going to stop talking, is he? “My grandma made it for me.” it wasn't anything amazing, just a blue and white striped apron with a cute rubber duck on the pocket. “It's very cute.” I hum in response, trying not to engage. Trying not to give him fuel to keep going. But despite my efforts, he does.
“I like your hair.”, “Where do you work?”, “How was your day?”, “Do you like work?”, question after question. A never ending string of words. I try to ignore him, to not give him enough to keep going. But he does. The bus stops, and I stop tuning him out to jump up, remembering to grab my bag, and hurry off the bus and away from him. I speed walk to my apartment building, up the side stairs and to my door. I reach into my pocket and I don't feel anything. My heart speeds up as a cold sweat covers my body. Where's my keys? I start to hyperventilate as I check my clothes. My front pockets, back pockets, apron pocket, shirt pocket. They aren't there. They aren't anywhere. I could have sworn I took my keys out of my locker. Did I drop them on the bus? Did they fall out on the sidewalk?
I let out a scream when I feel a hand on my shoulder, whipping around I see the man from the bus and I suddenly have something much bigger to worry about. I open my mouth to scream, at him, for help, I don't know, when he holds up my keys. The fluffy blue pompom and rubber duck keychains bouncing from how fast he lifted them. “I’m sorry, but these fell out of your pocket.” our hands brush as he quickly hands me my keys and speed walks down the stairs, he makes to the bottom and I shout a “Thank you!” after him. Maybe I judged him too quickly.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
They touched me. I can't believe it, they touched me! I can't believe I've at last managed to approach them, emerging from the shadows where I've lingered for so long. Turning the corner, I slide down the wall, quietly giggling to myself because oh my god they touched me! The streetlight over head flickers as I put my hand over my mouth in an attempt to muffle the laughs that are bubbling up and out of my mouth.
I followed them out to the bus stop they sit at every day, they're so beautiful, I couldn't take my eyes off them. They left their bag by the bench, I don't know why, but they seemed freaked out and left in a hurry. Poor thing must have had a horrible day, worse than I thought, if they're that anxious. I was taught to be nice, people like it when you're nice, so I brought them their bag. They looked so cute when they looked up at me. What wasn't cute was the tears gliding down their cheeks. My stomach was in knots as I handed them their bag. I hate seeing them cry, so I did what helped me. I asked them easy questions, trying to distract them from whatever was making them cry. They must have been really sad because they were giving short answers. As the bus came to a stop in front of their apartment building, I slipped their keys out of their pocket. Maybe a happy accident would cheer them up, even if it was artificial. My voice was stuck in my throat as I followed them off the sidewalk, my heart was beating rapidly as I followed them up the stairs. They're looking for their keys. Fuck. No turning back now. I can't be a coward now, I grab their shoulder and they scream. I look so creepy, god, just say something! “I’m sorry, but these fell out of your pocket.” I sounded like I total loser, but sounding like a loser was better than them fearing me, even if for a moment. It felt heavenly when our fingers brushed against one another, their voice like an angel when they shouted thank you. If only they'd let me hold their hand, walk them home, kiss them goodnight. But this will have to do for now.
I'll see you again soon, my love.~
17 notes · View notes
itsaspectrumcomic · 3 months
Note
this is kind of a vent and a bit of a silly rambled story (ooo story time! but feel free to ignore it if you want it wont bother me)
so i have been researching autism and adhd for roughly a year and a half now and its kinda become a special interest of mine (wild i know lmao) and its actually how i got my adhd diangosis! funnily enough the therapist who diagnosed me for adhd and evaluated me for asd was biased and had no knowledge about adhd or autism... :-] pained smile
(im afab and my sibling is amab and the comparisons between our assesments is insane. they got assesed easily but for me, the therapist was reluctant and judgemental. a great start i know /sarc)
anyway the therapist told me that i couldnt be autistic because even though i scored high, the test my PARENTS filled out for my childhood was very low. i wasnt even asked about my childhood experiences when it came back with a low score. i was just brushed off and told that it was only my adhd and that if i WAS autistic (which im not, according to her) that i would be "high functioning" and that "high functioning" people arent actually autistic. not word for word because i was half listening in shock but the general idea is still there. i have no clue how i even went to this woman tbh.
i have since made a list and included evidence for all the traits ive had since infancy but my parents 100% took the therapists word and are now completely convinced that there is zero chance that i can be on the autism spectrum. fun fact i think theyre both on the spectrum as well and ive talked to my sibling about it too. its wild lol
the thing is i keep going back and forth between denial and acceptance thinking i may be on the spectrum and ive had plenty of friends both professionally and self diagnosed tell me that i am on the spectrum but i cant help but accidentally find ways to invalidate myself and my experiences. i dont know if its worth it to get a professional diagnosis or to just exist as self diagnosed because they both have strong pros and cons. its all very confusing but i can wait 2 years until im a legal adult so i can at least try to get an assesment from a therapist who actually understands autism
i apologize for being so long winded and for any gramatical/spelling errors but i just wanted to thank you for making this blog in general. it feels very validating despite what other people and my negative thoughts try to say about my brain :-] i hope youre doing well !!
'"high functioning" people arent actually autistic'
UGH I hate that so much. I'm not really a fan of the the terms 'high functioning' and 'low functioning' anyway because it doesn't cover how autistic people can be really good at some things and struggle a lot with other things (also known as having a 'spiky profile') and just 'high' or 'low' doesn't properly take that into account, and then there's the whole questionable use of 'functioning' but that's a whole other discussion....
I'm sorry your parents aren't listening. Since autism can be genetic, it's fairly likely they are also on the spectrum and never noticed the traits when you were growing up because it all seemed normal to them.
It's a very personal decision whether or not to try for an official diagnosis, but whatever you decide is valid! The important thing is gaining self-acceptance and learning what works for you. Good luck and I'm so glad you're enjoying this blog :)
38 notes · View notes
hersweetrevenge · 1 month
Note
Hi there! <3 I re-watched Halloween Ends yesterday because I was upset and I needed Corey to save me, lmfao, and I wanted to ask you something that I've been wondering about. So, I have no way of getting the novelisation of the movie anytime soon, and you're kinda my only frame of reference for it; so I hope you don't mind me asking you this. When Corey is on his revenge killing spree, he kills those bullies at the mechanic shop. And Ronald is there. And then Ronald comes out to help the kids because of Terry. And only because of that. So, that makes me wonder... Did Corey plan on killing Ronald after he was done with the kids? Is that something that was elaborated on in the novel? Because I keep wondering about that, since Corey pretty much killed everyone that ever wronged him during that night, and Ronald was right there; but Corey didn't kill him (or didn't get the chance to, at least). Terry shot him by accident. But Corey killed his mom, of course. So, it'd make sense if he had at least planned on going after Ronald as well; even though he never actively wronged Corey (only passively, if we look at the way he just sat and watched while Joan abused Corey right in front of him, for example). But more so for completion's sake, y'know? They were on generally good terms, after all. I mean, in your latest post about the novel, you quoted that Ronald is "the loveliest thing" in Corey's life, according to Rohan. So, that makes me wonder all the more. OH, and... I fought with myself to include this point, but anyway- Corey takes the mask off when Ronald comes to help the kids, so that Ronald can see his face and know it's him. And it clearly disarms Ronald immediately and is the reason why Terry accidentally shot him instead of Corey, because he shielded him instinctively. Thus, I keep wondering if Corey meant for that to happen or if he took the mask off in order to assure Ronald that he wasn't actually in danger... It's such a seemingly insignificant thing that I'm thinking about far too much, but it's been bothering me that I don't know, and I was curious if the novel said anything about that at all, or if they just brushed over it there, as well. If they did, I'll just make up my own mind, of course, hdsfdjkfsk Anyway, I'm very sorry for rambling on about this, gosh! I love your blog(s) and everything you have to say about Corey and Rohan, you're awesome!!! Thank you for your detailed posts all the time, they keep me going! Take care! <3
ahhh hi !! thank you so much for sending this ask !! i love talking about this sort of thing more than anything lol and i’m sorry this took a little longer than i expected to reply, i was double checking like every ronald scene in the novel and cross-referencing that with behind-the-scenes details from making of, and re-watching the movie (i didn’t have to do that last one but like you, i needed emotional support from corey too 💗)
WARNING for discussions about (canon-typical) violence, murder, child abuse, abusive households, mentions of suicide and self-harm, and spoilers for the novelisation.
TL;DR – the novelisation does not elaborate on corey's intentions in any huge amount of detail, but it does provide some insight into a few different possibilities for ronald and corey’s relationship and what that would mean for corey's intentions.
general relationship
the novelisation actually gives some really specific details about the cunningham-prevo backstory, but also leaves a lot of aspects vague too.
joan married ronald when corey was 15, and she made it clear to ronald that he would "remain firmly on the sidelines when it came to corey's upbringing" which ronald "gladly" agreed to. so from the very beginning, ronald accepts he isn't going to be an active parent to corey, which maybe means he didn't believe he would do a good job anyway, or maybe he agreed it wasn't his place to parent corey in the same way joan does.
also, corey was already a teenager, he didn't need parenting in the same way a younger child would, which is partly why i think joan waited until corey was older to get remarried, because although being a single parent is difficult, she wouldn't want someone else in the picture as a father-figure for corey.
i don't personally see corey and ronald having a super close relationship, but there are multiple instances that show they are at least comfortable and familiar with each other (in line with what rohan said).
corey had a job before working for ronald, so we know ronald didn't have to give him a job. i hc that corey really wanted to do something stimulating instead of call centre work, and ronald agreed despite joan's grievances over it.
ronald doesn't seem too angry at him for being late, even though it is a regular occurrence (third time in a month).would he be so lenient on anyone who wasn't his stepson?
the gifting of the motorbike is a huge moment of course. that's a big gesture which, in the novelisation, also comes with some stilted bonding when ronald reminiscences that he used to "get laid [...], if you can believe it".
they have their united front moment over dinner when joan is trying to work a reaction out of them and neither gives her what she wants.
a smaller but still significant gesture is that corey uses dumbbells and a pull-up bar in his room to workout, which ronald bought him for christmas. very much feels like an attempt to help corey rebuild his self-confidence.
honestly though, rohan's comment about ronald being the "loveliest" thing in corey's life is probably right, especially as corey's life has been incredibly insular. as the town pariah with an abusive mom, his stepdad being cool about him being late for work is probably one of the best parts of his day.
but then on the other hand, there are moments which do not characterise their relationship very well, including multiple instances of ronald "ignoring" joan's abusive behaviour and not intervening.
to reiterate a previous point: ronald very willingly obliges joan's wishes of not "interfering" with corey's upbringing. her unfounded criticism and distrust of doctors, the school system and anyone other than her taking care of corey should have been a huge red flag (if, of course, any of that behaviour could have been inferred prior to their marriage).
ronald's passivity at being side-lined by his wife, allowing her to continue an unhealthy and unbounded relationship with corey.
when joan is berating corey for "sneaking around" and seeing allyson (the slap/kiss scene), she questions ronald as to whether he knew about the motorcycle, to which ronald stays completely out of it and doesn't answer her, despite her being furious with corey.
however it is a really difficult family dynamic to navigate, with so much nuance. i'm reluctant to say if ronald is a "good" or "bad" stepdad, or whether their father-son relationship is "good" or "bad", simply because their circumstances are so trying and complex. yes, joan has abused corey for a long time, but that abuse also extends to ronald in many ways too, resulting in him allowing (or enabling) joan's abusive behaviour in a flawed attempt to maintain the (toxic) status quo of the household.
did corey intend to kill ronald?
like i mentioned, there isn't any elaboration about corey's intentions in the novel, either through narration or extra dialogue. the scene happens almost exactly as it does in the film, with a few alterations and added background details. it's the surrounding details and plot differences that change my opinion.
i think movie!corey would have killed ronald if he had to. he knew ronald would be at home or at the yard, both of which were places he intended to go (to kill momma and the bullies). i'm not sure he had the same desire to kill ronald as he does the others, especially if he sees ronald in a good light, but to tie up loose ends he might do what is "necessary". i do find it very interesting that he lets ronald see his face though, and i can't decide if that is as a reassurance (he wouldn't kill ronald and ronald should know that) or because it just didn't matter (he's going to kill ronald so even if he sees corey's face, he won't be a liability to worry about).
however, i don't think novel!corey intended to kill ronald. in the novel, despite all of the extensive set-up of joan being abusive and corey's repressed desires to hurt her (and arguably ronald), there's no suggestion that corey planned to go back home as part of his spree and kill joan. if he wasn't going to kill joan after everything she did, i really don't think he'd have plans to kill ronald.
that's not to say there aren't implication in the novel that corey would hurt ronald too. there's a scene after the slap/kiss where corey can hear joan and ronald arguing about him, and once they've gone to bed corey gets a knife and stands outside their room, but ultimately doesn't go in. it isn't specified whether he wants to hurts just joan, or ronald as well.
michael's mask
ahh so when i was re-reading the scrapyard massacre in the novel to try and answer whether corey letting ronald see that it is him was a way of corey saying "you don't have to be scared of me" or even "you should be scared of me", i've come to a different conclusion about the mask.
“Who did this to you?” [Ronald] asked. “Him,” Margo said, pointing across the street. Ronald turned to find Corey twenty feet away on the other side of the fence, pulling Michael’s mask over his head. "Corey?" he muttered in disbelief.
the way the novel reads, i think that when corey puts the mask on in front of ronald, it's the first time he puts the mask on at all. if that is the case, it adds a whole other level to the transition between corey's kills as himself (or as the scarecrow) and his kills "as michael".
earlier, billy's sees "corey's shape wearing his prevo jumpsuit". it's fair enough that billy would assume it's corey without seeing his face, because they know that corey is there, but there's no mention of the mask either.
then, the way it describes ronald seeing corey put on the mask doesn't really indicate that corey was making sure ronald saw it was him. he's already "pulling on the mask" by the time ronald looks over at him; he wasn't waiting for ronald to look he was already doing it.
alternatively, the movie shows corey very deliberately stood there, waiting for ronald to see him and recognise him before he puts the mask on. i'm leaning towards it not being a gesture of reassurance but more of a last show of humanity to someone corey cares about -- "it's me, and i appreciate that you always treated me well, but this is the monster they've made me into".
in both versions, ronald jumps up to stop terry shooting corey. whether he was intending to shield corey or was just getting up to try and talk terry down, i think it says a lot about ronald as a character. he has been very passive this whole time, especially in scenes that take place at home, but in this moment he takes an authorative position to try and diffuse the situation. there's a scared kid with a gun, and his own stepson who he's starting to think might have done something awful, but this doesn't have to continue -- they can talk about it and calm down and whatever it is that has happened can be worked out.
15 notes · View notes
yuraslefttoe · 4 months
Note
hey, it's me again! I came to pester you with questions!! *there should be a scary laugh, but it sounds more like mean giggles*
(by the way, I’m thinking about sending you such long texts with questions (because I have a lot of them!!) once one or two weeks, if you don’t mind. . . . . . .you don't mind..??? (god, I hope you don’t get tired of me..!) I'm so sorry, please, I'm just very interested!! *qwq*)
ok, let's start with the sweetest part, prelude. ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT YOU REPLY SO QUICKLY, GOD, NOT PASSED A FEW HOURS!!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS SO I DID NOT EXPECT A SO SOON REPLY!!
I’ll remind you once again how much I adore your work (after all, you deserve it!!), and I’ll also say that I specifically shouldn’t talk about posts tagged with the  adm, because I’ve read your tumblr and twitter in its entirety several times, I even have a separate album in my gallery with answers that particularly interested me, there are several hundred screenshots there and I don’t regret anything! (sorry if my hyperfixation may be intimidating!!)
*=^._.^= ∫*
and now the questions!!!! 
1. my wife doesn’t have a tumblr, but her suggestion interested me and can be seen in the first two screenshots(the translation sounds like: “after the release of “red hour” I have an assumption that andrey is more... athletic than misha. either this is because of ferry’s drawing style, or he really has such wide shoulders")so now we are interested to know about the physique of your characters!! maybe some of them are thin, or vice versa, a little overweight. and what about physical training? did you have any headcanons for this??? ( by the way, when I ask about “characters” I mean not only misha and andrey, but also europe and maya, because they are also worthy of attention <зз) 
2. what about the abbreviation "dyusha" for andrey? in russian it is... not used very often, but still, it sounds very cute. so it would be interesting to know how you would feel about this? 3. I also want to hear about the names of the characters!! how did you choose them? I mean........ how did it happen that from ☺europa☺ you switched to 👹MiKhAiL👹?? (I'M SO SORRY, BUT MISHA'S FULL NAME SOUNDS SOMETHING THREATENING. MY UNCLE'S DOG HAS THE SAME NAME EHE- *ᕕ(ಥ▽ಥ)ᕗ*) 
4. and lastly, let's return to my wife for another moment. she suggested that andrey was now also in a time loop. what do you say about that? and also in enigma, she noticed that misha seemed to be addressing the second person in the lines: "and if you wanted to be anything more than just free" and "you’ve seen a hundred lies I see that all the time". is this second person a viewer? or maybe one of the previously mentioned characters??
the last photo, by the way, is one of the sketches that I found so far in my gallery! ^^ 
initially it was planned to attach two sketches, but andrey turned out TOO bad, I’m ashamed to show him. someday I'll redraw it into something normal.... maybe. but! I really like the pic with misha and the wolf(I hope this is the wolf you were talking about lol. google didn’t show me anything else, and I’ve never been to ikea myself, ehe...) 
(and I don’t want to post all this yet, because running a tumblr was certainly not part of my plans, haha)) I registered here solely to read your blog, and not to maintain my own) 
sorry again for possible illiteracy, and also for the chaotic nature of my thoughts, haha, I don’t know how to adequately express them in english.. and also, I’m really REALLY apologize that the text was too long, next time I’ll try to be shorter...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
okay im gonna try and answer everything here in a coherent way so sorry if nothing makes sense
im just fine with lotes of questions :) answering asks and responding to comments is one of my favorite things ever and i brings a verry big smile to my face
on andrei: i consider him to be a skinny little gut but not exactly unathletic, and in addition i think he would have basic combat training and probably be good with firearms. misha is probably a very average bodytype, nothing special, not particularly athletic.
i do not speak russian (though ferry has recently encouraged me to learn so maybe in like four years ill be able to form a sentence) so i dont know anything about the short forms so you can do whatever you want. if you coin it and peoples tart calling him that i will not stop it from happening
i do not name my characters, i usually let me friends name them (i think that the only one i named was europa and his partner). going forward maybe ill try to make it more cohesive
the time loop idea im seeing thrown around alot is really cool and while i havent particularly wrote any of my songs about that in general i see it fitting into the loose narrative i have going on. also in enigma misha is definitely talking to andrei whenever he says the word "you" but it could also be to the listener because the entire theme of enigma is 4th wall breaking and meta shenanigans like that
that sketch is SO CUTE oh my god
15 notes · View notes
brookesallow · 8 months
Note
Hi. Just came by to thank you again for your blog. I recently went through a difficult time for me. I was pregnant but unfortunately at 12 weeks I was told there was no heartbeat. This really shocked and tramvirated me a lot. It was the first time I had ever experienced something like this. And now I'm trying to distract myself as much as possible and am so glad I can go to your blog knowing there will be j2 tinhat content. Thank you ❤️ Their love distracts me at least a little. And I want to say something about the prequel drama. You don't have to write anything about it! I read that you don't want to discuss that topic and that's fine. I just want to say that I'm the kind of fan who thinks it was all black PR. We all expected one way or another that after the spn finale we would be expected to see a j2 bond/friendship destruction strategy and they quite succeeded. Part of the fandom won't be the same anymore and maybe they were never whole heartedly devoted to them and their love. Either way it didn't put me off. Especially since they resolved everything amongst themselves if you believe in the conflict itself. And I'm not denying that it could be either. I mean, heck, I've been married for years and there have been times in my marriage where we've fought and misunderstood each other so much that I've sat and cried thinking "do I need this? Is it worth trying to save the marriage?". And you know what? If you really love each other and are willing to both solve problems and find compromises and can forgive each other, you can keep your love alive. And I think if there was real conflict, J2 also talked and resolved things between themselves and are moving on together as they always have ❤️ They are grown men who have been through so much and I think it takes something much more than that for these two to break up. And you know what? I can't even imagine a reason for that. Only if the love really does pass and they let each other go. But I believe that love like J2 is forever ❤️
I'm gonna be completely honest with you, because you deserve it, because you have just opened your heart to me and I'm just grateful.
I was listening Radio Company while I was reading your message the mixture of your heartbreaking story and Jensen showing us his soul with the music have made me cry without being able to stop, I'm still crying.
I am very sorry about your baby, I send you all my love. I feel very lucky to be able to brighten up your days a little with j2 content so my way of thanking you for your beautiful message is going to be making a j2 tinhat post in your honor, as soon as I finish writing this I will start with it. It's going to be a special one, I have been thinking about that post for a while but never started it, but I think this is the perfect occasion.It may take me a few days because it is a special post but it will come.
The same thing happens to me as to you, they both make me happy, they encourage me, they give me peace. I'm 21 but when I was like 15/16 I suffered bullying and that destroyed my world. The people who made me bullying were the people I thought that were my best friends. A short time later I was diagnosed with depression and social phobia. Even, a few times I was about to commit suicide. Little by little I moved away from the few friends I still had, due to social anxiety and then I was alone. Jared and Jensen were the only ones that made me smile, they brought me back my hope.
About the prequel, dont worry it's okay :) I can say that you and I have a very similar opinion. The problem is not the topic, the problem is that Jared's stans (the ones who hate Jen) use it to bring hate towards Jensen, Jensen's stans (the ones who hate Jared) use it to bring hate towards Jared and antisJ2 use it like the fucking divorce, and I hate how people are such an evil souls, because if the prequel thing was real how can someone use a fight as a trophy? It's just reminds me that the world is full of evil and...that hurts.
Let's just say hypothetically it was real, they're over it, they're happy together, they love each other and that's enough for me. And if somebody tells me they ain't sure about that, honey look again, or look better. I know that not everyone notices everything that I do, because if I didn't, I would see it on social media, so I guess I'm either obsessed or I'm good at discovering things😂
Let's say that hypothetically it was all a lie, it has worked, most of people believes that they doesnt spend time together outside of cons (what makes me laugh) Congratulations to the creator of the plan, it was a success
Ps: Me sending you the biggest hug you can imagine
Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media
29 notes · View notes
lexusiswriting · 7 days
Text
A love you deserve (Ricky Olson) - Part 4 of ?
Tumblr media
Hi guys!
Words can't express how much I appreciate your feedbacks. All I can say is THANK YOU!
Warnings: none.
Taggs: @multifandomcrackhead, @nicelittlenightmares, @roll-tide-babe89, @skulliecadaver-blog, @21-century-tae, @melissa-anderson, @abiomens
Requests: OPEN.
_________________________________
The concert was amazing and made me feel a little bit better. Our fans knew all the words, screaming our names the entire show. But now the magic came to an end and the real life was hitting me once again. I put the mic back on it’s stand and waved to the most wonderful fanbase one could ask for.
While we got off the stage, Motionless In White were getting ready for their set. I wished them good luck and took the spot where Ricky and Chris were standing before.
I have always been a fan of their music, everything they have done so far was amazing. Chris always gives me a copy when a new album comes out, knowing I will be at their next concert singing my lungs out for them.
My eyes were now on Ricky. I don’t understand why he said he is not that great. He is amazing. Of course he needs his time to get used of singing in front of so many people, but for now, he is doing a great job. I did not realize I have not moved my gaze for some time and he caught me looking at him. He smiled at me and I started smiling as well without realizing.
Out of nowhere, I felt someone touching my shoulder with their hand. I turned my hand only a bit, seeing his tattoos was enough to know who he was.
“I can’t wait any longer. We need to talk now.”
The smile disappeared from my lips. I was looking around for Xander, Seth or Andrew, but they were not here anymore. Motionless just started their set, so Ricky and Chris could not help me either.
“Sure, Ben. Let’s talk.”
He took my hand and lead our way to somewhere out of the venue. No one could see or hear us here. I only hope it will not take long and I can continue my life in peace.
“What is going on with you? You never miss our sets. And last night I thought you were going to stay with me, as you usually do.”
“Why do you act like it’s my fault? Just tell me the truth, Ben. I know you’re hiding something from me.”
“I’m not. That best friend of yours put those stupid ideas in your head.”
“This is between us, leave Chris alone.”
“Or else what? And what about the other guy? When I saw him touching you I wanted to beat the shit out of him.”
He has been jealous before, but not like that. I need to get Ricky out of this discussion, or else he will get another ideas of what to do to him. That’s when I decided to not make this conversation any longer.
“I know you’ve been cheating on me this past few months, Ben. Don’t try to deny it and let’s just end this joke of relationship.”
His eyes widened at my words. That’s when he got closure to me and I started to panic. He was never violent, but who knew what he could do now.
“Alright, I won’t deny it. It’s true, but I can explain myself.”
“I don’t want to hear anything…”
“No, let me say it. I missed you so much, you are never with me when I need you.”
“And sleeping with a random girl helped?”
“It was the biggest mistake of my life. Especially when I wanted to do this.”
Ben pulled the black velvet box from his pocket and got on one knee. He was confused that I did not have any reaction.
“I hope you know I would not marry you after what you did.”
“Just listen to me, Lexus. Yes, I cheated on you and I am extremely sorry. And there is actually more to the story and after I will confess everything I will ask you the big question.”
“So you did more than that?”
“The girl announced me 2 days ago that she is pregnant. I told her that I will raise the child only with you, my love. Now that I said everything, will you marry me and start this family together?”
I was speechless. No words came out of my mouth and my mind was blank. How can you respond to something like this?
“You’re insane. We are done, Ben. Forever.”
“Don’t leave me!”
I started running back to the venue. Tears were running down my face, almost not seeing anything in front of my eyes. After some time I looked behind me and he was not there. I tried to catch my breath and to look around me, trying to recognize my surroundings. If I was right, my bus should be somewhere near close.
While I was walking, I spotted Ricky at a table. He had his head down and a cigarette in his right hand. And what broke my heart in an instant was that he seemed like he has been crying. I made my way to him, taking the free spot on his left.
“Ricky? What happened?”
His eyes met mine and I saw how right I was. The make-up was all over his face and his eyes were red.
“Nothing, don’t worry about me. You have lots of things on your mind already.”
“Ben and I broke up.”
“For good?”
“Yeah. I can’t forgive him for what he did. He even got the girl pregnant.”
“Wow… Then you took the right decision.”
He threw his cigarette and took his pack from his jeans for another one. I have never seen him like this before.
“Please tell me what is going on with you.”
“Let’s just say we are in the same boat right now.”
“You broke up with your girlfriend?”
“The other way around. She said she found someone better.”
“I’m so sorry, Ricky.”
Without realizing, I put my head on his shoulder. He did not say anything about it, resting his head on mine. He sighed and took another smoke. We stayed like this for a longer time than I expected. It felt right, both of us having our hearts broken, understanding each other better than anyone could in this moment.
7 notes · View notes
chaifootsteps · 7 months
Note
Howdy, Kedi here. The character in question is Jojo, she drew it to be a parody of Dollcreep (Jo). She and Dollcreep were on bad terms at the time, they used to be close friends but there's a lot to get into there - regardless, the fight had nothing to do with Doll being a transman, but that's what Viv chose to make fun of when she made a parody of him. She'd also told him directly that she didn't think he was "really trans" because he had posed topless for some artistic photos as a model (because someone who went to art school apparently never encountered nude models). She later apologized for getting into a public fight with him, but the fact that she chose to attack him by trying to hit that nerve is telling, especially when her old SVA classmates came forward ages ago about her deadnaming them on purpose and she continues to show that pattern of behaviour. I talked to Jo a while ago, we weren't friends but we talked briefly, but he was very upfront to me about how he got swept up in drama those years back and got carried away and regrets a lot of it. All he wanted was to be able to move on, but Viv made that impossible for him. Which, I can understand, I've tried to move on after what she did to me, but it's very hard - especially when I see more people coming forward, I can't bring myself to "stay in my lane" when other people are suffering and looking to know that they're not alone. A lot of people I talk to follow your blog and appreciate you documenting and talking about this stuff, so you're really helping out, I appreciate what you're doing for the people who don't have as much of a voice.
Okay, let's just look up Jojo real quick and...
Tumblr media
Aaand that's revolting and lower than dirt! And it would be one thing if this were something she did years ago, regrets now, and grew out of, but she absolutely hasn't. By all available evidence, she's the exact same mean, petty, transphobic little bully she was back then.
Thank you for shedding light on this. I'm sorry you had to deal with Vivzie in any capacity, but here's to hoping something comes of everything that's happening now, with all her skeletons starting to pour out.
24 notes · View notes