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chronicangelca · 6 years

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What You Have To Do

Link to this fic on AO3. Words: 1,921 Date posted: October 2, 2017

Summary: "You don't have to love me."

They've taken to going on walks together.

She'll wrap up her shift at the hospital and he'll be waiting outside for her, and they'll just walk to no where in particular; she suspects that it's because there are some deeper feelings lingering somewhere, but neither of them ever brings it up. Sometimes, they'll walk together silently, relish in the quiet. Once in a while, she'll fall into old habits and ramble about how her day was, filling the silence through any means necessary because sometimes, silence means thinking, it means stewing in the unpleasant things that she can't forget and she doesn't want that. Today, it's the former.

There's about a foot of space between them as they walk, his arm hidden by his cloak and her hands swinging by her sides where they may have been clutched together in front of her when they were younger. She's more confident now, and she has no need for silly, childish protective stances that wouldn't really do anything to defend her in an actual combat situation anyway.

At some point, she finds herself falling into step with him toward the edge of the village, to the place where they first parted, a day that makes her flinch to remember. Unlike that day, though, she keeps walking with him, following him into the forest that surrounds Konoha without questioning where he's taking them.

She's not even sure if she's the one leading them here or if he is.

Eventually, she sees that the moon is shining through the leaves, allowing for slivers of light, and she pauses her walk, watching as he stops immediately without even questioning why she stopped moving. She supposes that means that she's the one who was leading them here, then. She shivers when his gaze settles on her, because it registers that he's really looking at her, and not just looking past her. He sees her, and it never felt like that when they were younger. When they were younger, it was always just Sasuke and Naruto, like she was nothing more than a troublesome spirit standing between the two of them.

It feels as though someone washes over her with a wave of icy water after a minute, when his gaze is ripped away, and she thinks that her shiver here is even more pronounced than it was when his eyes landed on her. She finally breaks the silence, her eyes searching his face, staring into those dark eyes as though there may be something swirling in those depths, something that she wants to discover. "You didn't have to follow me." He lets out a curt hum of confirmation instead of actually responding, and she frowns, letting her stare drift to the ground below them.

"So why did you?" She thinks she imagines his eyes going wide at this out of the corner of her eye, but when she looks back up at him, his expression is as cool and calculating as usual, though she thinks that there is thought stewing in those dark eyes of his. He doesn't even have time to open his mouth to articulate whatever he was thinking of before she's rambling on again, and she realizes that she's doing this because she's almost... afraid of what his answer will be. "I mean, not that it's unappreciated or anything! I think it's nice, spending time just the two of us. We never really got to do that much when we were genin, and then we didn't really have the chance to, right?" She stops for a second, hands flying over her mouth and eyes going wide. "Sorry, I mean, you don't like to think of that, obviously! I'm being insensitive now, and I'm rambling, I should really shut up before--"

"Sakura." The sound of her name jars her, but she swallows despite her dry mouth, watching him with wide eyes as he looks at her in an expression that seems torn between concern and amusement. She'll admit that it annoys her; what's there to be amused about? Can't he see I'm suffering? Shannarō! He stays quiet for a long moment, watching her, and it makes her feel like a bird in a park. "It's fine."

It's not much, but surprisingly, it makes her feel better than a longer excuse would, and she nods at him. They go back to the quiet, and she continues walking, so he follows her; she's surprised to find that she hasn't turned around, that she hasn't started to head back toward the village despite how late she knows it is getting.

Her mother will likely question her when she gets home, but she thinks that the extra time spent with Sasuke will be worth it. So she lets her legs carry her further into the woods without really thinking about it, looking forward again rather than watching her feet as she walks self-consciously like she did when she was younger.

Instead, she lets her eyes scan over the leaves, and she catches the subtle shifts from vibrant green to varying shades of yellows and oranges; she wonders how long they have been changing now, and if Sasuke has noticed yet. His eyes have always been sharper than hers, which she has no doubt is thanks to his Uchiha heritage and the Sharingan that comes with it, but he seems to spend more time staring at the ground than at the sky. She wonders if it is just a habit, or if it's something else.

She stops again, eventually, deep inside of the forest now and just staring around at the trees that surround them. She grew up surrounded by trees, and she is always caught off-guard somehow when they are sent on missions to places that don't have so many of them, like the branches of the trees serve as a warm, comforting cloak, but the fabric has been cut too short. Konoha is never truly silent, filled with the sounds of children and animals and insects and life at all times of the day, but as the crickets sing their songs distantly in the background she thinks that maybe Konoha can be quiet. It's something that would have startled her when she was younger; long silences used to make her anxious, but she has found peace in them since the pained cries and explosions of war.

Surprisingly, it is Sasuke who breaks the silence, something that already has her head spinning before his words even process. "...I enjoy them." She doesn't understand what he is saying for a moment, but rather than clarifying like any normal person would, he stands there looking at her expectantly as though he is waiting for her to process. She supposes she should be flattered that he considers her smart enough to figure it out on her own, which she certainly is, but it is still frustrating sometimes. After a moment, comprehension dawns on her. She looks at him with wide eyes once more, and she hates herself because she feels like she has completely reverted to the wide-eyed, idiotic little girl that she had sworn to herself she would grow past.

"Our walks?" She prompts clarification, though she already knows that they are what he is referring to. He was answering her earlier question.

"Hm." He nods, and she feels her face break into a confident smile.

She doesn't say anything though, simply standing in pleased silence with the man that she loves. Of course, they aren't anything, really. Not anything official, anyway. But she has been painfully in love with him since they were only children, and even after everything he has done, to her and to the people that she loves, she can't bring herself to hate him. She tried to, once, but she is long past that point now.

"I also..." She is startled when he continues, watching his frustrated expression as he tries to figure out his wording. "I am trying to make up for lost time."

She's startled by that. She knew that he was regretful for his actions, everyone in the village was, but she didn't expect him to talk to her about it or elaborate on anything that he was regretful of, which this feels startlingly close to. After all, lost time? With her nonetheless? A more bitter part of her wants to point out that there was plenty of time; time where he was avoiding her like the plague, and then time when he was trying to eradicate her just the same, treating her like an enemy when she had never done anything but care for him and work toward his own happiness, putting his and even Naruto's happiness above her own from even so young an age as eight. She ended friendships for him and he only ended things for himself. He only destroyed things to preserve his own power, to assure his own goals. She wonders if during everything he always expected to come back and just have her still waiting for him, and she is angry with herself because that is exactly what she was doing while he was destroying the world and her friends were all telling her to come to her senses. She supposes in a way that she still hasn't. But then again, she knows that he has. And that makes her forgive everything almost too-easily, staring at his face with a warm expression even as it feels like the pit of her stomach is slowly filling with lead because she still has so many conflicted feelings when it comes to him and everything he did. Her situation is hard and unfair, and most messed up of all, she is happy he's there to help her through it all.

She wonders if this is an apology, somehow. Not just his words, which are so laced with hidden regret, but all of the time that he has spent with her, and it makes her chest feel tight that maybe, in a way, he has only been doing this because he feels bad. She straightens her back as though she is trying to appear more confident, though her distinctive stare at her feet as her fists clench at her sides make it too obvious that she isn't really. "You don't have to do that, you know... You don't have to do this with me." Her voice lowers to a whisper, and it makes her feel weaker. "You don't have to love me."

He doesn't hesitate. "Hm."

Her eyes are dragged up to his face, and her expression is one of utter confusion. "Huh?"

"You're right." She's not used to those words from Sasuke, and it startles her. "I don't have to."

She takes a small step back, giving him a suspicious look, and she is tempted to turn around and begin her walk back to the village, but she's not sure she's ready to leave this interaction yet. She's not sure she's ready to leave him yet. But this whole thing is beginning to give her a startling sensation of hope and it makes her chest light in a way that reminds her of the days that she doesn't like to remember anymore.

Before she has a chance to turn and walk away, though, he raises his arm, pressing his index and middle fingers into her forehead, right on the purple rhombus which actually gives her pause. "I will anyway, though." It feels more final than it sounds, and tears well up as she processes what he has just promised.

#Darla writes #Naruto #Haruno Sakura #Uchiha Sasuke #SasuSaku #Fluff #Walking #Walks in the Woods #POV Third Person #Leaves in the Summer #Fan the Flames

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