#sorry for all the venting btw i just. shit just gets worse and worse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hg-aneh · 7 months

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will you ever come back, or is this an indefinite hiatus/straight up dipping?

i don't know

all the i miss yous are making me want to come back but ik i would just be terrified and motionless as soon as i do

Vent-ish Rant downstairs

CW: Pedophilia, Antisemitism, Suicide, Ableism, Harassment, Bullying, all the important words except for murder basically

i want to fix things in private with the people who hurt me so things can be okay and I don't out them for being wieners

but i also want everyone to know who hurt me, yet I'm aware it's not the right choice to make. social media outrage barely leads to anything, specially where minors are concerned

hell,now that i think about it, considering the fact that they genuinely don't believe people older than them are allowed to have feelings, I don't even think talking would be the right move

it's scary, its fucking scary

fuck. the whole thing started with a person mocking the way i spoke about crowley telling me to stop babying him because i was a legal adult and shouldn't be speaking like that

i had just turned 18 and the person was only a year younger than me

like when it's gone to that point and shit is that fucked up, what can one person even do

i remember i laughed about it back then but truth be told, every single little thing I've been told and that I've listened to coming from the people who hurt me has fucking destroyed me as a person

I looked at my older Discord messages, from before this whole mess started. I was so fucking happy and shameless with my joy, now look at my sorry ass

i just.

it's crazy that i have to go around masking in social media of all places because there are people that take such offense to me being cringe that they legitimately turn into high school mean girls

it's crazy that there are people who claim I'm something i am not because they want to make me look bad in the eyes of their little circlejerking friend groups so they can feel like the hero of the story

it's crazy that empathy goes completely out of the window when an account is big, that people don't see human beings as human beings when they're behind a screen

"just log off lol" i am a lonely shut in motherfucker due to my autism (that, surprise surprise, hinders my ability to socialize), you do not understand what you're asking of me, specially while being in this country and at this point in time where I'm actively craving to kick the metaphorical bucket, at daily risk of doing so, and what basically is house arrest for my own safety and well being

(aka, avoiding to physically yeet myself into upcoming traffic or buying something to actually seal the deal)

thus far I've been accused of antisemitism, pedophilia, being too self-centered (which. bro, the reason why i talk about myself is because it's the one thing i can comment on without being scared of some random person coming to tell me "NuH uH" about it out of nowhere or worse, having their feelings hurt because I don't agree with them 100%), proshipper (which, to those people, the word implies wonderful labels such as "incest apologist" "pedophile" (again) "abuse endorser" among other things) ((sidenote, I'm on neither side on that particular discourse. my friends from both sides know this. I would elaborate on my stance if this wasn't already long enough, but it is, so I'm leaving it at an "I don't care, you do you, but please leave me out of it")), being... mean... because i blocked someone...? (this one is just. that's how the second wave of hate started btw. yeah, because i blocked someone. holy fuck), and there's probably a handful of other things I haven't seen yet. fuck it, there's probably someone out there calling me a zoophile because of my catboy au

My friends who I will not name because I don't want the high school mean girls crusade to get to them, have helped me stash out evidence for all of the accusations and bullying.

fuck, they were the ones who let me know about it on the first place, both actions for which i am eternally thankful for because it means I can defend myself properly should the occasion arise (dios no quiera)

I've already had to make a post on Xitter responding to the antisemitism and pedophilia claims, in which, for the latter, i had to reveal extremely personal information for the people who started this to give me respite if only for a while

and. ugh

What I'm trying to get at with all of this is. it's. coming back is scary. i want to but at the same time I don't think I can take this shit anymore

I wish I had people defending me like this when the harassment started because I'm a spineless little bitch who'd rather talk things out and at least be neutral with people than clap back and tell them to stop being stinky

but what's done is done and now i just gotta figure out how to fix my head before i do something stupid

this is not the full story obviously, I'm cutting off certain details as well as more personal depression stuff to not make this bible longer than it already is

fuck

TLDR: I need a hug, idk if I'm coming back, I probably will cuz I can't say no to people, and some teenagers are horrible

#aneh answers #aneh cries #sorry this is so desorganized and scattered #never been too good at writing #and to clarify #no im not outing the shitheads #i just feel like theres no way to fix things anymore #theyre far too... words #ngh

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ccrisntok · 10 months

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Heathers au part 2 💀

Okay, off the bat, this one is worse. this post is much sadder than the first one.

TW// Blood, Death, Corpses, Suicidal thoughts/actions, Guns, Homophobia, Violence, Eating Disorders (Again, basically anything that happens in Heathers: The Musical.)

Also, spoilers for Heathers, and DRDT!!!

As I said, this post is a bit more serious than the first one. You need to read the first part to really understand this one btw. sorry. I'm too lazy to explain things again hdafkjlds

This post will have the sad parts of the au, since it's basically a story run-down, but imma still try and keep it a little silly at least.

But there will be a part 3, since I literally can't post all of the images (I have over 30.) And part three will be a lot more light-hearted (just fun doodles, and some cut images from this post), so if this ones too intense, just wait for that one <3 or. dont. thats cool too. Btw I'm gonna re-use a few drawings from the last post for story progression <3

Again, credit to @another-danganronpa-fan for the original au concept!

(First off, a better rendition of the Heathers + Xander. I didn't make any other full body refs because I got lazy. Anyway, I wanted to talk about these guys a lil more in this post. Character relationships and whatever.)

I feel like the Heathers as a unit all fucking hate each other. David guilt trips Arei into staying and threatens to reveal that shes queer if she argues with him, Arei makes fun of him for having severe mental health issues, and Arturo belittles both Arei and David, constantly commenting on their appearances, which he considers "Barely acceptable", basically its a cesspool of toxicity.

Xander, your average, emotional totally not British boy, doesn't really see any of this and thinks the Heathers have it so easy, and even idolizes them a little, especially David. Or rather, whatever persona David gives off to others.

This leads to him being recruited, in combo with his forgery skills, and his British accent. Cuz, yk, British accents are hot to some people.

So Xandy gets to be an honorary Heather. This is fine for like, 5 minutes before he is immediately asked to humiliate the shit out of Eden, which he does, begrudgingly. He does this by forging a note to Eden from her crush, Arei, inviting her to a party Ace was hosting that night. Arei doesn't know about this plan until it happens.

at some point between this and the party, Xander sees Teruko beat the ever-loving shit out of Levi and Ace, and he's like "oh wow 😳", which is the first time he ever notices her.

As the party starts, Xander starts getting drunk as hell, and during so, makes some kind of jab at Ace in relation to his ED (I couldn't really find a way to incorporate Heather Duke's bulimia into David, so, sorry Ace.) This leads to Ace fucking hating him with a passion.

this does not end well btw

Xander parties rlly hard, and that ends up escalating to him accidentally publically outing Eden at the party (while wasted & high), which leads to Eden being humiliated by the partygoers. Arei, who does actually like Eden as well, obviously doesn't out herself and helps in Eden's humiliation for the sake of self-preservation.

Eden's like "wha" bc she still thinks the note was real, and is super confused and hurt by Arei's reaction.

I don't believe the two would be childhood friends, like cannon Heathers, I feel like they would just. Like each other. Steal glances occasionally, wave, and smile. Stuff like that from someone like Arei would mean something, at least to Eden. And seeing what she thought was so clear shatter would hurt her a lot.

After this, Xander fucks off because him and the Heathers get in a huge fight, and he finds Teruko like. In the bathroom or something hiding from the party. I didn't really want to make him break into her house so. I didn't :) they uh. hold hands or something, and then they fall in love wooooahhhh whoda guessed

So Xander vents about his imminent death bc Art's mad at him, and Terukos like, "yeah... lets go apologize....." (she does not want to apologize). so they pull up and Xander's like "I'm sowwy Art i wont do it again" or something and then uh.

(why is the family guy death pose so hard to draw) Art drinks some Kool-aid or something that Teruko mixed with drain cleaner and dies.

Xanders like, "NOOOO WAHT THE FUCK" and Teruko, who obviously wanted him to die, is like "oh. we need to cover this up as a suicide". They do just that, and in the wake of his death, Arturo is seen as even more of an icon than he was in life, since the fake note portrayed him as an actually kind, tortured soul.

Arturo's ghost haunts Xander from this point on, basically just calling him stupid the whole time.

so after this, David and Arei are like, "Aye uh. Art's dead. You wanna hang out in the woods with us and Levi and Ace?" And Xander, desperately trying to not seem suspicious, says yes. Arei didn't really want to do this, but David forced her, and brought tons of alcohol with the intention of getting Levi and Ace drunk so they would fight and it'd be funny. He hasn't taken up Art's spot yet, so he's still kinda chill.

they. do fight, and Xander's kinda like "oop", but David's hoping it gets violent, for funnies.

it gets kinda personal..

Then it gets REALLY personal 💀

And Levi ends up beating the shit out of Ace.

Now, not unlike canon, I don't know what circumstances got Levi disowned by his parents. I feel like in this au, he probably moved in with Ace and his folks, which would give him another reason to put up with Ace's shit. Out of literal necessity. And like, they are probably friends to an extent.

Anyway, after this, rumors spread that Xander was actually the one who beat the fuck out of Ace, unprovoked. Since Ace is like 3'2 or some shit, people think Xander just beat him up bc he was an easy target without Levi around or something.

This happens because of a combo of Ace not really remembering what happened, his spite towards Xander, Levi lying about it, and David agreeing with the story (again, for his own amusement.) Arei doesn't really care enough to speak out, and Xander's reputation goes from already dead, to decomposed.

He vents to Teruko about this, cuz that went soo well last time, who makes up a plan. She tells him to tell Ace and Levi that he really wanted to fight them, and she would bring a "fake" gun to scare them with. (btw shirtless levi just to warn you) (and a dead body. and blood.) (prob shoulda put those first)

This goes about how you would expect (can you tell I gave a bit more of a shit about these guy's deaths than I did Art's....sorry homie). Instead of doing what Kurt cannonically does (hauling ass in the opposite direction), Levi actually tries to help Ace, with no luck.

I made a longer version of this but Im trynna stay in the image limit so. Anyway, Teruko is like "look what you diiidd Levi he trusted what you said and now he's dead! Ok bye" and then shoots Levi too.

Xander is losing his fucking mind, and really upset, obviously. But Teruko is like "I did it because I love you...." and manipulates him into really believing they did somewhat the right thing, because Ace and Levi were bullies, and ruining ppls lives.

They frame Levi and Ace's deaths as a double suicide. Teruko convinces Xander to portray Levi and Ace as gay lovers who, "killed themselves to escape an unaccepting world", since they contributed to Eden's harassment over her sexuality.

This leads to Ms. Hu publicly speaking up in support of queerness, which leads to the harassment following Eden, and the fear holding Arei back to subside a little, as the student body is moved by Levi and Ace's super real emotional romance.

Ace and Levi's ghosts join Arturo in haunting Xandy, and Xander regrets like. Every choice he's ever made.

Xander and Teruko's relationship is kinda deteriorating, and David decides to take officially take the mantle in the aftermath of Arturo, Levi, and Ace's deaths.

He gets kinda goofy, and starts harassing Arei more severely. This takes a head at an assembly Ms. Hu throws for teenage mental health, where she encourages the kids to vent their frustrations and grievances, which would "set them free."

Arei finally takes the opportunity, and confesses about her turbulent home life, David and Arturo's harassment, and that she struggles with suicidal thoughts. David takes this as a personal attack on his reputation since she mentioned him, and berates her, until she decides to try and end her own life in the school bathroom.

Xander stops her, and tells David to fuck off.

This ends with Arei and Xander becoming better friends, and they start to bond over their shared care for Eden. This reminds Xander how bad he fucked up with his best friend, and reminds Arei that she really does care a lot about Eden, even if she wishes she didn't.

Speaking of Eden, after everything that had happened, the deaths, the harassment, and what she thinks is the loss of the two most important people in her life (Xander and Arei), she also decides to take her own life, Ace and Levi's suicides nailing it into her head that she didn't belong. She wanted to escape to a world that wouldn't judge her, like Martha, and death was the only way she felt she could do that.

She jumps off of a bridge, but ends up surviving.

Xander, obviously fucking horrified, rushes to her side. After seeing how hurt she was, he kinda realizes how serious death is.

He killed people, all because Teruko felt they needed to. He realizes his relationship is toxic (only took a kill count of 3), and decides he can't do it anymore.

He ends things with Teruko, and goes home. He figures this is the end of it, but the ghosts haunting him tell him that Teruko was coming back, and she was mad. Oh no!

After Teruko breaks into his house, Xander locks himself in his closet and listens to her mad ramblings.

She says she's going to bomb the school, killing everyone inside, and she wants to do it with him. The whole school was basically in the building for a pep-rally, and she wanted to frame it as a school-wide suicide pact, with a signed "suicide note", a fake petition she'd passed around the school during the mental health assembly.

Xander, out of options, ties himself to the ceiling and pretends as if he has hung himself, which he hopes will stop Teruko's rampage.

Instead, Teruko decides even if Xander was dead, she was going to kill everyone anyway.

After Teruko leaves, Xander chases after her, grabbing a kitchen knife as protection, with the intention of killing Teruko, and probably himself, for the sake of the school.

After realizing Xander is alive, Teruko doesn't stop her plan. She's even more dedicated to it, and Xander is dedicated to stopping her.

The two physically fight for the bomb, and in the scuffle, Xander ends up stabbing Teruko in the stomach. He takes the bomb, and begins to leave with it, with the intention of using his body as a shield so that the school wouldn't be damaged if he ran out of time.

Teruko stops him, and in one more act of weird, toxic, love takes the bomb from him, and says she will blow up herself, and only herself.

Xander lets her take the bomb, and Teruko walks out to the front of the school. Xander watches as she lets it go off, killing her instantly, and tells her to say hello to God, having faith that maybe her death could grant her forgiveness, if there was a higher power out there to forgive her at all.

........

annnnndddddd I'll draw the aftermath in part three!

Holy fucking shit, I HAVE BEEN TYPING THIS UP FOR LIKE 5 HOURSS AAHH

I'm proud of it, though! There are quite a few images I had to cut, since Tumblr has an image limit and I made way too much, but that's what part three is for, in combo with a little of the aftermath! I just didn't want to split up the story into two parts, since I wanted it to flow well. I hope I managed to do just that.

Hope you enjoyed this fucking roller coaster, and I hope to see you back again for the DRDT Heathers finale! Which... wont be that epic, or anything, but hopefully fun!

#drdt fanart #drdt #drdt spoilers #ace markey #eden tobisa #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #arturo giles #arei nageishi #david cheim #levi fontana #hu jing #tw blood #tw death #tw violence #tw murder #tw ed #idk what xander and teruko's ship name is dkfasf #heathers the musical

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dampsleeves · 5 months

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life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

#spiidervent #not snz #venting :3 #feel free to ignore this if you dont wanna hear me bitch and moan

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wackytheorist · 23 days

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sorry if this is all over the place I’m nd and dyslexic so typing hard but the “ableist crow” is just a user who made some slightly heated vent posts about some of tubbos behaviours (such as talking over people despite other ccs asking him to stop) etc. while I don’t agree with the posts 100% myself I definitely dont read them as ableist? like this is a stretch example (and no I’m not calling tubbo a toddler) but like if I saw a little kid in a store having a meltdown I wouldn’t blame the kid cause it’s not their fault if their overwhelmed but like I can still be annoyed by the screaming? Idk if that makes sense but that’s kinda my take on what they probably meant by that post? (they’re nd themselves btw) their post got screenied and posted to Twitter by a tubbling (I know who posted it but I won’t say so they don’t get hate sent) where tubbo then saw it so it got blown up even more than it needed to

but yeah idk by reading through their blog they seem to take a mixed bag approach of finding things annoying or questionable and venting these frustrations but waiting to see how things develop. another post of theirs that springs to mind is the "abuse defender" one in which it was like a day or two after the new eggs and roier abusing pepito and they were asking people to wait to see if the abuse thing developed in case it was just a bit he was doing rather than immediately calling a latino cc an abuser? Especially when Roier has beefed with other eggs before and similar bits by other ccs were seen as funny (slime purposefully abusing flippa with “parenting styles” comes to mind but granted that was very early server where everyone was being more goofy anyway)

again like I said I don’t agree with all their posts but I think a lot of what they’ve said is being taken out of context or pushed to extremes to make them look worse than they are?? 🤷

Your fine, I understand the wording(I too am terrible at typing for different reasons.) I'm part of relaxed qsmpblr as I've mentioned in a different post and don't have much of a problem

Everyone should be allowed to express their opinion, yours is valid

But imo, I didn't have much of a problem with their posts(as I said before in the statement above) or the april fools account was problematic(I mean if someone thought I was worth an april fool account, I'd be losing my shit reading it but everyones different.)

But their response was a bit... off to me, especially since the person was a minor.

#qsmp #qsmp discourse #asks #I wont be answering any more asks about the situation sorry but Its not my place #vent #< just in case

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flowersbark · 1 month

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Holy shit. Okay. Hi. I’m also a csa survivor. I’m legit so desperate for anything sort of recognition on this issue I’ve been having for almost 2 years now. https://www.tumblr.com/flowersbark/740288973409288192/fellas-is-it-a-proship-to-project-cocsacsa-on

It relates to this post, except I am going to get EXTRA personal on this.

Tw for r//pe, gr///ming, Self-h//rm, and csa (obvsly)

Okay so I also really really reallyyy don’t like proshippers, I am hypersexual, and I have zero access to any sort of help atp in my life. Now that I have those things out of the way right now, I am essentially in a dilemma a lot like that post. One major problem, it’s not me JUST wanting to project, it’s me wanting to BE in that spot of the victim again for some reason. And I mean like srsly getting assaulted again and all that horrible stuff. Like, i THINK these ideas, thoughts, and urges I have are called “intrusive thoughts”?? But I’m not sure. I’m disturbed by them regardless.

This has been so frustrating to deal with bc first of all, I’m not a victim to gr//ming, second, yes, I am a victim of csa at a young age, and third, I find myself having some sort of YEARNING to be hurt in such a way. (Not cocsacsa, just to not let things get mixed up btw) I have looked around on the internet for so long about this issue and I find NOTHING on it, like, am I just going crazy? Am I trying to cope with it in the worst way possible? Like, I genuinely don’t know, and it drives me mad because on one hand, I have this massive theory that it’s a mental attempt of “self- h//rm”, and then on the other hand, it’s a bizarre extreme version of yearning for touch and affection, but I’m just so unsure because I can’t find any other personal accounts of anyone else!

I acknowledge that your post wasn’t about this oddly specifc scenario, and I’m so sorry that this is so out of pocket, and possibly even counterproductive (idk) but as another csa victim, would you be able to offer some sort of insight? Is that something I can even ask for on here? It’s okay if you can’t, or don’t want to, I fully understand if I just never see a response to this. I really hope things get better for you and that you’re a having at the very least, a decent day regardless. Thank you.

Also p.s., sorry for not being able to answer that question, I myself am also uncertain on a definite answer for that. Like, the most I can say is that I think it’s okay to explore unhealthy dynamics, so long as they’re both acknowledged as bad/unhealthy/traumatizing things, and not put out to the public since people can take/look at things and get weird and nasty🤢 (so generally just used in a private and secure setting)

HI !!! uhh

first off, yes you can ask for advice, insight, anything. thats why i made this blog, other than to just vent to strangers. second, thank you for giving me your opinion on the csa proship situation.

i do think what you're going through are intrusive thoughts, and i get those a lot too. especially about going through what i did again, or worse. i also fucking HATE those thoughts, especially because my mind makes it by people i know irl, especially classmate im close to. it makes me feel disgusting and like im sexualizing and making my classmates horrible people when they ARENT. intrusive thoughts arent a reflection of who you are, theyre a reflection of who you DONT want to be, thats why theyre so disturbing.

again, the almost yearning for it is intrusive. it's also a trauma response. like how people who are used to being mentally abused will seek out and be with people that will treat them like that, its kinda like that. its not a good way to cope, but its not the WORST. as the absolute worst would be repeating the cycle.

im sorry if this doesn't help, its kinda just my word vomit with no revisions,, but i hope it does. it gets better, i promise. keep going.

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n0brainjustvibes · 5 months

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callbringers ch14 (dropped today!!) spoilers

@thesternest liveblog rambles! i'm pretty much just saying this to you, might make separate posts out of the analysis points when the other readers catch up to them.

ASHELYN DISSOCIATION WINNN

Or loss, if you're Ashelyn.

ooh [kicking feet] i'm gonna have to picrew Ashe with her white hair streak soon!!

i love how she describes him jyhtsdfgyhjk. gonna start calling him "that terrible king"

ashelyn's nobility training coming back to prop up her masking :3 that's a neat detail, and it's gonna make her Losing Herself To The Mask/dissociation moments soooo much worse hehe. worm tangent, I suspect Lisa Wilbourn went through a similar thing with learning to school her expression as Sarah Livsey...

ASHEEEEEE😭😭😭 disconnect between emotions and body/actions, speedrun! magrias really is handcrafting her Issues as well as his own huh

oh magrias is SO fucking slimy. horrible bastard. terrible king indeed. god, that speech...

ough. can't say I'm surprised though

[me who's been daydreaming about an Ashelyn Gets Mind-Controlled Into Killing fic for a while] hmm...

YOU WERE RIGHT I DO LIKE THIS CHICK :DD < me when people are mean to my blorbos in compelling ways

also i would not be surprised if luan was experiencing taylor-esque passive suicidality, ngl. she's certainly Gone The Fuck Through It. anyways i respect the determination [tips hat]

back to ashe - I think the epithets she gives magrias in her inner monologue ("that tyrant", "that terrible king") are a way of reminding herself who he is and what he's done. staying focused on him as an enemy, while everything around her tries to convince her he's her leader. she needs this to centre herself and vent her anger, when she can't express her emotions or have her perceptions validated externally.

Oh, shit, wait - what was that Magnie song you sent me ages ago? Character prediction, the other Scholars working with Magrias will catalyse a crisis of faith for Magnie. I think she'll either leave the Scholars, or drastically change/reform them.

OUUUGGHH I LOVETHE ATTENDANTS PLAYS. loveeeee this. ashelyn channeling her (Reversed) Manipulation <33

"this was a much bigger picture than a few attendants and she could not let them burden her if she wanted to free her country" hm. storing this line. i don't think she's wrong for it but it could be the start of something.

you SLANDER my daughter??? you tell LIES and MISINTERPRETATIONS?? can't really blame you. but damn how did that one happen

Ohhh I Like This Girl

luan<3 storing for future analysis reference

I'M SORRY I-

OUGH FUCK THIS MUST HAVE STRUCK CHORDS WITH ASHE'S UPBRINGING. hold on imma grab the relevant quotes

ashelyn on "what it's like to be a noble":

GOD. FUCK. GOD. THIS IS WHY SHE'S SO COMPELLING. BEING MAGRIAS' PUPPET QUEEN IS THIS TURNED UP TO 200. ashelyn really is worm-esque in that she has the worst day of her life and it makes all the problems that lead up to it infinitely worse... anyways, yeah, bet she hates Aiven extra for that one.

[rubbing hands] is this the bastard we discussed? :3333

KILLING HIM KILLING HIM KILLING HIM

luckily, if he IS the bastard in question, I might have the honour of having (indirectly) orchestrated his demise already >:)

i love how you've done him BTW. there are already some juicy characterisation snippets which may lend themselves to analysis once I've seen more of him. like he totally fits the description of Bastard but you took that and elevated it and [chef's kiss].

#callbringers #ashelyn karva arminius #magnie vi-daullfen #side note i just realised magnie (probably) doesn't have a last name bc she's an orphan...#that had been puzzling me

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imagine-a-life-like-this · 1 year

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ok so i want to Vent for a sec if its ok bc it seems like you give the best advice on this app :)

Ok so basically I have this "friend" that I have been close with for over a year now but I don't know if she is a good person anymore because all she has done is push my other friends away and act like a pick me next to boys,here is an example of what im talking abt .

So basically I had had a crush on this one guy for almost 2 years and she knew this but at the time we had had an argument and she went on to shit talk behind my back to my crush on abt how bad of a person I was and after we made up she told me how he had called me a baboon (which he apparently called everyone but she somehow forgot to mention that) and I said to her quote"I don't want a friend like that"and she went on to tell him how I never liked him as a friend and he hated me for like 2-3 months until I said sorry for doing nothing ... Pluss she always talks abt how he likes her but she doesn't like him even though she knows ive liked the guy for so long . She also acts very and I mean VERY dumb next to boys but when they're gone she's suddenly miss know it all???

Another thing happened where a video of her was posted on another group snapchat of her shit talking people and when people confronted her she blamed me on taking the video (even though I literally didn't even know that video existed)and cried so all of my friends hated me for being a snake ... Even though I did nothing

But she always apologizes and I forgive her each and every time even though she immediately leaves my side for another friend but still forces me to hang out with only her knowing I can't say no .tbh I don't know what to do anymore bc she ruined countless of my friendships

Please please give me some advice . Love you btw I hope your having a great day and im sorry for venting but I just had to bc if I do to other people they say im over reacting or that I should just be mature and suck it up....

I gotchu bestie 💕

I have been in your shoes before and it's so draining having friends like that honestly. The only advice I can give you in this situation is to cut her off before things get worse. Tell her you don't want to be friends anymore, and then block her on every social media app, including her phone number. It seems like an overreaction, but trust me, just deleting won't cut it.

Tell your other friends you've ended the friendship with her and ask them not to tell her anything about you. And if she tries to contact you after you've done all this, keep track of everything. I'm talking screenshots. But do not engage.

Just keep your distance, and move on with your life. It'll be difficult, I know that from personal experience. I've lost friends I had for 10 years, 13 years, and 16 years. But in the long run, you will be happier.

And remember I am always here. We're besties and you will always have me 💕

#ask

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thisdreamplace · 5 months

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Hi dream. it’s 😵‍💫 anon. always a joy to look at your page. honestly, life has been sucking as usual. opportunities have arose, but nothing came of it. I actually felt worse after the opportunities. sometimes it feels like there is no hope. the hardest thing is seeing someone I care for be sad like I am. now I’m trying to manifest for her as well. it’s like you can’t escape what makes you feel terrible. ugh. even though I’m down, I don’t want this person to feel the same as me but I can’t do anything for either of us. I just remember a time of crying and then being okay because of possibility but sadly, possibility isn’t enough anymore. seeing this person hurt kind of drilled it in me that I’m here….and I don’t know a way out seriously. I’m sorry for the negativity. I’m always trauma dumping here like a fucking dumbass. the only time I feel open is when I let it all out, but a part of me feels sucky for doing so here. I hope it’s not too much, dream.

I’m just babbling but I went black friday shopping. I kind of found out that I have been buying shit for a second of relief. I get happy that I have something to look forward to. is it retail therapy?? I bought some skincare products so hopefully they work out. for some reason, every time I do skincare, everything just sits there on top of my skin or it burns. like damn 💀

this entire message seems like I roller coaster like you started off sad and then straight into skincare lol? I guess I feel lighter after releasing my words. right now I’m about to go stuff my entire face with leftover Thanksgiving food. happy Thanksgiving btw if you celebrate it. if you do celebrate it, did you do anything? any black friday shopping? it’s really hard not to fall victim to sales 🥲🤣

hiiiii my lovely 😵‍💫 anon <3

its never too much, so don't worry. it saddens me to read how you've been feeling though, especially in regards to your friend. its lovely you want to help them, but truly, you deserved to be help first in your life. you've gotta make sure you're good, then you're best able to help others too.

dont feel too bad about shopping like that. literally, a lot of us has been there. i literally had a shopping addiction a couple of years ago, without realizing it. luckily, i was able to get out of it. hahah so really, its just one of them things sometimes. lol theres nothing wrong w a lil retail therapy though, i mean why not treat yourself ? i hope the skincare works out <3 any product recs ??

and thank you <3 i hope you had a great thanksgiving !! i just spent the time with friends and family, and actually had one of the best thanksgivings i've had in a while hehe and i made a new friend ! i did go black friday shopping, but i mainly shopped deals online which have ~finally~ started arriving recently and i love them sm. youre so right tho, but i was like hey i could def use some things and the deals truly were irresistable in that moment LOL

anyway, i hope youre feeling better now and im glad youre able to come here and vent, and leave yourself feeling lighter in that moment ! <3

xoxo

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faroreswinds · 1 year

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What happens to Edelgard in AG is a faith worse than death, but they hypocrisy behind it is what’s frustrating. It’s okay for Dimitri to have a humiliating death in 2 routes and Claude in 1, but Edelgard can’t have bad things happen her? I’ve seen AG treated as the new CF that and how you’re a sexist if you enjoy it (I’m a woman btw) because of it when GW aka CF/SB 2 exists and it’s still not enough for these people. Sorry, now that there’s no DLC to fix everything I needed to vent about this.

Nah, no need to apologize.

Personally, I've always felt that Edelgard's fate in AG... is mostly overblown. Yeah, getting mind controlled like that would suck. A lot. But I can think of a lot worse fates. Like being tortured physically for the rest of time.

I think what makes Edelgard's fate worse than it actually is is the intent and display of it. Think about it. Hopes redesigned Edelgard in a cute, magical-girl-esc outfit, skirt and all, and made her act like a 5 year old at the mercy of an old, nasty man on a power trip of a lifetime. Lots of room for some really, REALLY fucked of imagination there. The implications are astonishingly nasty. It is not a good look.

In-universe, though, I have guarantee you that nothing uncouth has happened to her. She's not a bedroom plaything, and her brainwashing is not unreversible (as the game demonstrates).

Listen, I read Room. Room... is a fate worse than death. That shit is FUCKED up. Like, really, really fucked up. Like, breeding room-type shit fucked up. After that, a simple brainwashing to control a country is far less appalling to me.

However, all that said, I don't want anything to think it's a good fate. I'm not saying that. I just think people took it and made it into a mountain.

I'm not sure if I would entirely call it hypocrisy though. Edelgard's fate is decidingly more... uncomfortable compared to the other two. At least Claude and Dimitri die on their feet after a last stand. Edelgard is basically a puppet.

Although, I think being a puppet is a far kinder fate that death. Death is permanent. Poof, gone. Forever.

#anon asks #Three Houses discourse

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hazyaltcare · 6 months

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TW: POSSIBLE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ED, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, RELIGION, SPECIES DYSPHORIA, ABUSE AND EXOTRAUMA (ONLY MENTIONED NO DETAILS), BLAMING OURSELF FOR PAST EVENTS, AND VENT

HEY Y'ALL XD. COULD WE GET POSITIVITY TO OUR SYSTEM? WE'RE DEALING WITH A LOT OF SHIT RN AND JUST NEED SOME KIND WORDS TO HELP CHEER US UP AND YOU GUYS ALWAYS HELP A BIT :3. ANYWAYS.

WE GOT BROKEN UP WITH A FEW MONTHS AGO AND JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET OVER IT AND ALSO WE'VE COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT THE RELATIONSHIP MAY HAVE BEEN TOXIC XD. WE RECENTLY RELAPSED WITH OUR ED AFTER NOT HAVING ISSUES FOR PROBABLY A YEAR. OUR SYSTEM IS UNSTABLE AND KEEPS MAKING US SWITCH HOSTS WHICH IS GETTING VERY TIRING AS WE NORMALLY ONLY SWITCH HOSTS EVERY FEW MONTHS. OUR DEPRESSION HAS GOTTEN A LOT WORSE LATELY AND MAKING US WANNA GIVE UP ON LIFE (WE'RE SEEING A DOCTOR ABOUT OUR DEPRESSION :3). WE'VE BEEN DEALING WITH SEVERE SPECIES DYSPHORIA OVER WINGS AND OTHER THINGS. WE'VE BEEN MISSING OUR PAST LIFE AS AN ANGEL AS IT WAS SIMPLER (WE CONSIDER OURSELVES COLLECTIVELY FALLEN ANGEL KIN NOW SINCE WE WERE THROWN OUT OF HEAVEN). BUT ALSO WE FEEL KINDA BAD FOR MISSING IT AS THE DEITY MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABUSIVE, AND WE SORTA FEEL AT BLAME FOR CERTAIN THINGS AND MAYBE THE ABUSE. AND WE'RE ALSO DEALING WITH A LOT OF CONFUSION AROUND A BUNCH OF OUR SYSTEM LATELY XD.

SORRY THIS IS VERY ALL OVER THE PLACE AND FOR MY TYPING QUIRK AND FOR THE LENGTH AND FOR THE POOR WRITING XD. TY FOR ANY POSITIVITY OR ADVICE OR ANYTHING AT ALL. WE UNDERSTAND IF YOU CAN'T ADDRESS MOST OF THESE ISSUES AS A LOT OF THEM WEREN'T KIN OR SYSTEM THINGS.

-MANGLE🏓 :3 FROM ⛏️🏳️‍🌈 (WE WOULD PREFER IF YOU REFER TO US WITH YOU& OR OTHER PLURAL TERMS) TYTY AGAIN AND SORRY FOR THE VENT.

Hello Mangle🏓 and all else from ⛏️🏳️‍🌈,

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your& relationship. That is hard enough to deal with on your& own even without adding on the complexities of possible toxicity in said relationship. I want you& to know that it's okay to be upset, and to take all the time you& may need to heal. You& can't rush the grieving process, and the grief over the loss of a relationship is as real as any other kind of grief.

I can understand how all of this happening would make you& think back to a former life where you& felt happier and more sure of your& place in the universe. Even if the deity who ruled you was toxic, you're& still allowed to yearn for what felt like a safe space at the time. A lot of us here who have alternate and/or past lives feel similarly about them, even if they were in unhealthy situations in these aforementioned lives.

Even under waves of traumatic exomemories, there can still be those jewels; those pockets in time and space where everything, at least for a moment, seemed okay. There's nothing wrong with treasuring those memories.

I'm also sorry to hear you& are struggling with a flare-up of your& eating disorder. Relapsing isn't a moral failing on your& part. Don't blame yourself& or your& body for your& own stress response. Maybe you& could find an online support group to help you& get through this? While my situation is different, I have found support groups to be very helpful when it comes to some of the mental illnesses I have been struggling with, and you& deserve recovery.

Never apologize for being yourself&, btw, because who you& are is a wonderful soul& who is deserving of love and kindness. Your typing quirk doesn't change that, a toxic relationship doesn't change that, and reaching out for support certainly doesn't change that either.

We all wish you& Light and healing,

Mod Haze (☀️Sol)

#system #pluran #otherkin #fallen angel kin #positivity #☀️#mod haze #tw caps #tw toxic relationship #tw eating disorder #tw depression #tw exotrauma #tw breakup #tw religious themes #tw species dysphoria #⛏️🏳️‍🌈 anon

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insufferable-talkstuck · 8 months

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Redoing this here [sorry for doing it on the main blog] [basically copying and pasting the one I already did but this time im taking it more lightly and also adding stuff 🔥🔥🔥

I am a very stubborn person , one who basically just goes "fuck it we ball" , "do whatever the fuck you want" , is pretty much an hater , and i get really close to people. I also get angry easily , but still somehow manage to keep an "happy go lucky" persona online. Also , I always feel like the world sucks. More specifically, like there are too much bad things to hate , and hating them all and knowing they are happening makes me even more mad. I also have always want to know everything about everyone , and i am almost always seeking out knowladge , even right now. Im also mostly a lurker , due to having a thing about having to keep a "good reputation". I've always wanted to be famous , but just so i could not be forgotten after my death. And I've always thought myself as some sort of attention seeker , which is why [unless present with an anonimous identity] i basically never vent , becouse i know that people have problems worse than mine. Also , due to [as i mentioned earlier] getting really close to people , I've gotten in a lot of toxic friendships , and have only like 5 or 6 true friends. Lately , I've been going through a phase of self reflection. Especially about how I used to act or think in the past. And even about current me. Im very impulsive and uhhh yea i guess thats it 🔥🔥 [btw i am sorry for asking on the main blog but i am not sorry for basically spam liking your posts 🔥] [holy shit i just realized how much of an edgelord i sound]

Prince of Hope

you share a classpect with Eridan ampora.

im not sure how to excuse this assumption of you properly, but as soon as i read your submission the exact thoughts that went through my head were "mind.. rage! HOPE." * so you'll just have to believe me as much as you can muster

Hope revolves around belief, religion, courage, and a black and white view of the world. as a prince of hope you are more afflicted with rage, a powerful aspect that can bring down an entire session

* i thought you'd be a mind player because your wording makes it look like you're concerned with justice, or at least have a strong sense of what you believe is the right thing—but that can better be assigned as hope, the way your beliefs may not seem correct to those around you but you're stubborn in your way

you talk about getting angry easily, don't think i have to break down why that's rage pilled as fuck, but specifically rages description of ‘ a rage player may tear down an entire system if they deem it wrong, and rebuilt it themselves ’ ( highly referenced but not exact quote, cant look it up rn ) really reminded me of you.

If you'd like more closure i suggest looking at Eridan as our prince of hope, this is not my finest most detailed work but I do believe it suits you best, and when a classpect assigner gets a gut feeling you don't question it

#homestuck #homestuck classpect #classpects #classpect #classpect assignment #prince of hope

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deviantartdramahub · 7 months

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Ugh no, I dislike Marian bc she manipulated my friend Tam. She kept blocking then unblocking him, putting them in some kind of sick cat-and-mouse game. She always tried manipulating him away from me and Club, and her behavior was intolerable. Ik you're all for innocents getting manipulated, but I ain't dealing with it, dear.

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Honey what's so hard to understand that what was said was an OBVIOUS TYPO? That's why I paid no mind to it at first, BC I USED MY GODDAMN BRAINS! YOU WERE CLEARLY JUST USING IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER HARASS CLUB! HE HID THE COMMENT BC YOU WERE FALSELY ACCUSING HIM OVER IT! Club isn't a groomer, and the people saying he is are either ableist trolls like you wanting a "good" excuse to harass someone, or they're misinformed people who were manipulated by said trolls. How many times will we have to explain it, smh. I would never support actual groomers (such as you lmao), but Club ISN"T ONE.

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Uhhh prettyyyy suree Loveless is the one stalking Club, lol. Wouldn't you be as paranoid as he was if you were getting endlessly slandered and harassed like that? Ugh. You do WAY worse to your enemies.

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Uh okay and you're just as bad as Sam. Only you're a whole group of people doing this shit. So in a way ig you're worse LMAO...also what happened wasn't Club or Tam's fault so quit making it up as it is.

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No Tam probably just wanted to defend their friend, why do you assume everything is Club's fault? I swear, one day they'll blame him for the birth of Hitler. And you know what's fucked up? Seeing Tam as nothing but a minion bc of his age. Oh and for the record, you DO lash out and attack them. All the damn time lmao. Do I even have to link the examples???

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Bro stop acting like Club's manipulating me when YOU'RE the ones clearly doing it! And just bc I'm a kid doesn't mean I can't say no! Saying children can't stand up for themselves is just wrong. But the reason I don't is bc I GENUINELY APPRECIATE AND CARE ABOUT CLUB! I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HIM! And if you did think this was true, why did you harass me later on for "not saying no" then? Tsk tsk tsk. And he supports all minorities. But when he made those cute little pride flag drawings YOU MADE FUN OF HIM FOR IT!

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Sweetheart if you're so sorry for us then stop contributing to our harassers and also quit accusing us of being future pedophiles. Just ew. Be ashamed of yourself now 7-7

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Not all of the hub attacked me, it was probably only Sam. Tri has always been friendly towards me and the whole group shouldn't be blamed for this. Keep in mind this is a place where ANYONE and EVERYONE is allowed to talk! Both good and bad people! Bc unlike you, Tri's actually fair. And unlike this group, YOUR ENTIRE GROUP WANTS TO HARASS ME!

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"why do this? is it cuz he gives you crappily drawn art? Is it cuz he tells you stupid shit like 'happy april hurr de durr’ is it cuz he gives you points and core which is WORTHLESS in the grander scheme of things?" Nah it's bc he's our friend and ya'll just salty you don't have any real ones 7w7

"If you continue to ignore this then sorry we are not going to protect you anymore if you are that brainwashed by that shit stained loser Club." Sweetie please you saying you were EVER protecting me is just gross. Kindly fuck off, if you really want me to be safe <3 (Which btw you don't, you're just disgusting manipulators.)

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Smh I'm his friend, and listening to a friend's problems IS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR THEM! Club was NEVER trying to harm me! I'm completely fine with being there for him! BC HE'S MY FUCKING FRIEND! Is this how you would react to a friend of yours if they asked if they could vent to you? Just pitiful. If you don't have the emotional energy to listen to someone at the moment, politely tell them so like a normal person jfc.

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The only reason why he felt the need to seek validation from his friends is BECAUSE OF YOUR GOD-AWFUL TREATMENT OF HIM! You think you can do all the things you did and expect him to still be in a good mental health-state and have good self-thoughts? You think you can gang up on him and tell him he's a terrible person and expect him to not be insecure, scared, self-conscious, OR ANY OF THAT? You need to grow up and learn that your actions HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES, YOU GODDAMN SELFISH 6-YEAR-OLDS! But then again, you would never in your life care if you ever hurt a person, now would you?

Sighhhhh I think that's enough for now lol -w-

Bye, see you tomorrow evening, and sorry for this big one, hehe.

That’s alright. Some people like them have explaining to do, more than they ever can or will.

Regarding the eighth point, admittedly things have improved a lot ever since that was a problem. I can guarantee these days Sam is a non-issue, he may come around but would have his hands tied by better paradigms when he does.

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franksgaydaydreams · 2 years

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(Frerard one shot. Also this is kind of a vent because I have a boyfriend, he’s my Gerard and I’m his Frank and we both go through a hard time. I will make a one shot that’s based on the two of us, Frank is based on me and Gerard is based on my bf. TW for SH, abuse and Suicide attempt. )

(Btw my boyfriend didn’t save me from suicide attempt because I didn’t attempt suicide yet….)

My name is Frank Iero, i’m 17 and also depressed. And so are my other friends and they go through hard times. Although, they have it worse than me. They self harm, get abused, etc. My boyfriend Gerard has it the worse. His family (except Mikey, he’s one of my friends) doesn’t love him much and he self harms. I just hate hearing all about my friends’s pain, especially when it goes to Gerard. I love him so fucking much, sometimes he wouldn’t text me for days and I can’t sleep without him :(

I listen to music to cope with my shit. I love bands like Metallica, Green Day, Slipknot, KoRn, The Beatles, and more. Sometimes, it won’t work.

What hurts is that me and my friends have a group chat, and I get messages/notifications of them venting that something happened to them. This one time hurts me the most. Gerard vented that he got yelled at by his parents and he self harmed again. Me and the others tried comforting him. It just fucking hurts and sometimes I would cry at night while in bed. I tried talking to my parents about it, but they won’t understand and tell me to not think about it to much. It drives me shit.

I’m depressed, too. I deal with school shit, especially as an autistic person. I’m glad I’m in summer break, but my summer break isn’t doing good as last year. My parents fight a lot and I’m a therapist friend of my depressed friends. And I’m fucking tired of being a therapist friend, always hearing and comforting others when I go through a hard time too. I want to self harm, but I can’t. Especially that this season is summer, and it’s not a good time to do it. So my friends self harm, I don’t. It hurts. More than getting burned alive.

I’m getting suicidal and all I want to do is die. I can’t take this disgusting awful teenage years anymore. Life is filled with shit and hopelessness. Goodbye cruel world, I’m gonna be free and I don’t care if I go to hell. This world is the REAL HELL.

Before I even did it, I got on my phone and texted in the group chat a goodbye and a picture of a gun, announcing that I’m about to kill myself. The replies were freaking out and begged me not to do it, but I didn’t care. I’m sorry everyone….

I’m sorry Gerard.

I went to the bathroom and pulled out a gun. Before I trigger it, I grabbed a pencil and paper and wrote my suicide note. Now it’s time.

Gerard’s POV:

No… This can’t be real… My love of my life is about to kill himself… I better save him before it’s too late….

I ran out of my house since no one is here and they’re being gone for 2 hours and ran to Frank’s house since we’re slightly close. I barged inside, asked Frank’s mom where’s he at, she told me he’s at his room. I went to his room, he isn’t there. Tears began to role down my eyes. I ran to him bathroom, then…

He was about to shoot himself in the mouth with the gun. “NO!” I screamed as I jumped to Frank. Frank yelped. “FRANKIE, NO DON’T DO THIS!” I cried. Frank looked at me, he was crying too.

“B…but why not Gerard…? I’m so fucking tired of living in this hell world! You and our friends are depressed, my parents don’t care, I suffer from school stress, AND SHIT LIKE THAT! I just want to die and kill myself, for you, for them! Why did you save me-” before he could finish, I cut him off.

“JUST SHUT IT, OKAY? Baby.. I love you so fucking much. You saved my life. You saved their life too. I get it, you are burned out and depressed too, you can take a break and get space if you want. You are NOT responsible for their feelings, not even mines. P…please… Don’t end yourself… If you’re gonna do it, I will do it too. PLEASE…. You helped me when I’m depressed and comfort me when I need comfort! Why are you doing this to me… TO US GOD DAMNIT!!!!”

I broke down hugging him tighter. But then he gave up and decided not to do it. He cried harder and we hugged each other tightly, crying. I rubbed his back as he buried his face into my chest. Tears were spreading, but I didn’t care. I want him. I need him. He’s the angel from the nightmare. I don’t want to lose him. He’s my hope to my despairing world. If he dies, I’ll die too.

#frerard #my chemical romance #gerard way #frank iero #angst #tw depressing stuff #mcr

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angelsmanifesto · 16 days

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venr heavy vent idk where else to put tgis

Vvv unstable new alter btw i think i was specifically formed to hold thks shit im sorry for putting tgis here

i am getting worse i am getting worse i am getting so so kuch worse

i bleed i hurrt i hurt so much i cant proewtend ro be fine anymore i cant

my brain screams olease please please be yhere but i am aloone n thats all i deaerve

i dont dwsrvre notging anymore holy fuck

thied fucking period in a month in a montg

I cant do this i want to die

i juust

i tgink people would be genuinely better off without me chat like i dont lnow anything anymore

Im useless

im a fialruee im gonna fail school

im losing my independence im losing my ability to care for myself im tetrifyed im so so svared i just wanna hear if gets betteer please

#vent

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jupitercl0uds · 5 months

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heres a vent song i wrong but i don't think ill ever finish it. its not great but keep in mind i wrote it at like 2 in the morning cause i couldnt sleep. its mostly about autism and has a fair share of swearing. also you need to be aware that if i do finish it, its part of a little project where me, waluigi, sonic and tails are in a band??? if you read the thing its from, it'd make sense. sort of.

theres a VERY rough demo to give you an idea of the rhythm. i DO NOT LIKE this demo but i can't like, the 6th verse has stuck with me and refuses to leave my head, so i have to share the demo now, yay. it might not be a perfect transcript btw, sorry

I can't write songs for 2 shits But it makes me feel glamourous, When it's late at night and I think of a rhyme And I go 'oh, baby, it's notes app time!' I stare at the screen instead of go to bed And wait for a verse to leak from my head.

I want to scream and cry and shout, My lyrics made to make you pout, But I'm scared I'll disturb the peace Or get a visit from the police.

This band is fake and so am I. I go to bed and cry and cry, Pretending I am fast asleep, I try and try to count some sheep,

But god, this art, it flows through me. It's not the best, but I feel free To write about my emptiness. I long for love and simple bliss.

But I'm autistic in high school! We're never ever fucking cool! It's never 'Kill yourself', cause they know they'll get caught, It's 'Can I be your friend?' which is worse than you thought. You realise the joke isn't just that you suck, But you don't deserve love and no-one gives a fuck.

Sonic and Tails and Waluigi, They aren't real, but they understand me. They're making the music while I write the lyrics and vent all my rage with my bodily fluids. I'm carbon, iron, copper, steel, Halfway there to banana peel. I'm useless and stupid and cause such a mess. They're here with me, helping me doing my best. I'll scream and I'll rage and I'll cry on the floor While they turn off the lights and close up the door, Depriving my senses and helping me cope With this horrible world on which I must choke.

Comedy's the answer! These burgers do be arse! A Nazi scientist I'm glad is stuck in the past. I'm on his 'live' list while my siblings die. OF COURSE NOT! The one time an autistic person lied!

If this is high functioning, then suck on my dick. I'm screaming and crying and being a prick! That thorn in your side, for simply existing. Well I GIVE UP! I'm no longer listening. And sometimes I hear without even trying, But mark my words, bitch, cause soon you'll be crying. I don't mean harm, my friends all know that, And I've gone off topic, lets get back on track!

I can't write songs for 2 shits But it makes me feel glamourous When it's late and night and I've thought of my rhyme And I go, 'Oh, I've really gone and done it this time.' I turn off the screen and try to go to bed, But the thoughts still haven't left my head.

#spouting to the void #its called 'this burger really do be ass 💀💀💀'#it was NOT meant to go there

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