#sometimes i think about deleting this blog but i always need to come back to it eventually

[jj-one]

FIRST TIME’S A CHARM.

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

pairing: sports au, football jock!boyfriend!han jisung x cheerleader!fem!reader genre/tags: smut, fluff, light angst (if you squint), reader is so in love with jisung it makes everyone sick, reader is a virgin, oral (f receiving), fingering, piv, protected sex, use of pet names (baby, princess, etc.), typical nervousness of first time sex, cherry popping, multiple orgasms, spitting, dirty talk words: 5.1k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Feelings of melancholy plagued your heart this morning. You miss him. You want to touch him, talk to him, breathe the same air as him. Your boyfriend Han was your world. He hasn’t replied to your usual ‘good morning’ text yet and the waiting game was slowly eating you up. You have to get ready for cheer practice since tomorrow is game day but you were hoping that your boyfriend could walk you to the gymnasium. You dread going to practice sometimes but Han would always find a way to lift your spirits and make your mood instantly better.

“You need to give him some space y/n.. you know he’s busy, we can just walk together it’ll be fine!” Karina attempts to snap you into a reality check.

She was your roommate and also on your cheer team, she’s been one of your closest friends since you transferred to this school a few months ago.

“But he always walks with me! I’ll just wait for him to reply, what if he texts me while we’re walking there and then he-“

“Jesus Christ y/n, you should hear yourself talk the way you go on and on about this boy! Don’t you think you’re a little too obsessed?” Karina retorts, “Let’s get a move on, we don’t need to be late to practice for the third time in a row!”

Grabbing your arm in the process, Karina heads out the door with you to get going. You wanted to whine and complain some more but you decided to let it go since you don’t want to annoy your friend with anymore talk of your boyfriend. You could talk about him all day long, you never get sick of being around him, he’s just always so busy with football and other things that it’s hard to see him sometimes. Since the gym you were practicing at was near the football field, you’d hope to eventually run into him later.

Your boyfriend did ultimately text you back but not until your cheer practice was over. You kept messing up the routine and Mrs. Park, your coach was getting irritated by your lack of coordination.

“Y/n, what’s with you today?! I know you can do way better than this!” She snaps in front of everyone, your whole team was looking at you and the embarrassment fully sunk in.

You didn’t have much to say other than a simple “I’m sorry” and “I’ll try harder”, it was your fault that you let your inner thoughts cloud your ability of performing. You gave yourself a couple minutes to recuperate and stretch to join the team again, you couldn’t let them down since the stunt you had to do needed to be executed perfectly.

After cheer practice you read the texts Han sent you:

‘Heyyy babe, so sorry for the late reply :( I’ve been practicing all morning and didn’t get a chance to check my phone!’

‘I just finished, wanna meet in a bit? I’m with Chan and Changbin rn’

You were now grinning ear to ear from his reply, you’ve been waiting all day to see him. It didn’t take long for you to respond back to him enthusiastically.

‘Yes! Where are you??’

‘Still on the field but at the bleachers, meet me there’

‘Ok, coming now!!’

‘See you in a few ;)’

With almost lightning speed you make a dash for the locker rooms and changed out of your cheer clothes to go find your boyfriend. Karina wanted to tag along since she secretly has a crush on Changbin but doesn’t quite want to admit it just yet. Making your way to the football field, you see some figures in the distance sitting on the bleachers; presuming to be your boyfriend and his two friends. You picked up your pace practically sprinting at this point to go hug your boyfriend who was still in mid-conversation with Chan and Changbin. You didn’t even acknowledge or say hi to either of them, only focusing on the man in front of you now. You’ve been craving to see him all day and finally being able to hug him made the sadness you felt this morning dissipate.

“How’s my pretty princess feeling today?” Han says, still having you wrapped tight in a bear hug. His fingers stroked your hair as he felt you against him, words couldn’t describe how happy you were in this moment.

“I’m okay now that I’m with you!” You exclaim, nuzzling your chin into his broad shoulder.

Everytime he hugged or held you, it felt like the warmest place you could be. Nothing compared to his embrace, it electrified you in so many ways that couldn’t be spoken into words.

“Ugh! Could you guys get a damn room already? I’m sick of seeing you act all lovey dovey, makes me depressed that I’m still single!” Changbin teases the both of you. You know he was only joking but it made you want to be even more of a nuisance.

“Then turn around and look the other way, we’re not going anywhere!” Han fires back, now bringing his face towards you to kiss him. He plants his lips on yours and gives you a soft kiss, delighting you with the taste of his minty flavored chapstick.

“Mmm… that flavor tastes good Hannie, could kiss your lips all day!” You go back in for another kiss, completely forgetting that Chan, Changbin, and Karina were right there watching this whole thing go down.

“Alright, enough!” Chan interrupts you and your boyfriends almost near make-out sesh with a reminder of previous plans. “Are we still going back to my place for movie night? I didn’t buy popcorn and snacks for no reason!”

“Ah shit, I totally forgot about movie night…” Han face palms from the lack of remembrance.

“Can I join?!” You chime in, hoping that Chan will allow you in the group so you can spend more time with Han.

“Could I come too?” Karina asks, sitting next to Chan trying her best not to make eye contact with Changbin.

“Yeah sure, the more the merrier I guess!” He shrugs his shoulders.

You were glad Chan let the both of you come along since you didn’t know him that well, you only talked to him on a few different occasions but each time he seemed pretty chill. He was the football quarterback and was loved by pretty much the entire university, he was practically the leader of the football team and looked after everyone. Your boyfriend was also a very popular guy and was well-liked by all his pupils, he was a really good defense and took his athletic skills seriously. You were so proud of your boyfriend and everything that he’s accomplished so far.

“Alright, let’s get going shall we? My dorms not that far from here, should only be a 10 minute walk!” Chan says while standing up.

Everyone gets up from the bleachers to start heading in the direction of the dorms and Han takes your hand in his.

“You cold babe?” Han asks while walking, he sees you shivering a bit from the sudden cool breeze of the wind.

You were wearing a short sleeve t-shirt which probably wasn’t the best idea but you were rushing this morning. You simply nod your head to his ask, you could feel the goosebumps rising on your delicate skin.

“Don’t worry, here you go darling.” Han quickly takes the letterman varsity jacket off his body to bring onto yours. The jacket weighs you down a bit and it was completely drowning you but you didn’t care.

“You look so adorable in my jacket babe, always look so cute wearing my things.” He compliments you while holding your hand tighter.

You could smell Han’s scent on the fabric, everything about him felt like home to you. You’ve been dating for 4 months now, you transferred to this new university thinking you wouldn’t make any friends at all. As soon as you became a cheerleader Han noticed you straight away, he asked a few of the girls about you but you were new so they didn’t know much. He wanted to get to know you more so he went in to shoot his shot and ended up being successful, now you’re both dating and are essentially the school’s power couple. The most popular jock dating the new pretty cheerleader was the perfect recipe to get everyone around the school talking.

“We’re here guys!” Chan says while coming to a stop in front of the dormitory.

He opens the door to lead the way for you all and Han has his arms wrapped behind you plastering small kisses to your cheek. You giggle as you walk inside to see more people sitting on the couch. It was some more members from the football team who joined for movie night but you and Han weren’t actually planning to watch movies with the rest of them.

“Let’s go somewhere else, yeah?” Han whispers in your ear, his voice sending a chill down your spine.

You agree to his ask and Han tells everyone that you’ll both be back before the movie starts getting good. Chan couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the fact you both casually go into his room, he adds one last piece of advice, “make sure to use protection guys!”

Han doesn’t comment back at that, only reacting with a chuckle and heading towards the bedroom.

Chan’s room was your typical early twenties, frat-boy style living quarters. Clothes spread all on the floor, a couple posters adorned the walls, and the bed was unmade with a few textbooks on top. It was everything you’d imagine it would be, nothing in the slightest bit romantic.

“Wow, what a lovely choice to make our grand escape!” You said sarcastically, looking around at the tornado of a room it was.

“Hey, mine is way worse and you don’t even complain!” Han retorts, throwing the textbooks off the bed.

“That’s because I clean your room every time I come over!”

You sat on the bed with Han beside you, he snaked his arm over to wrap you into another tight hug. You feel the hardness of his chest against you and the sounds of his heartbeat produced butterflies in your stomach. You’ve been waiting to be alone with your boyfriend all day and now that the time has come you can’t keep your lips off him. You brought your face closer to his and sealed his lips to yours, his short brown locks tickled your forehead in the process.

You’ve been thinking about the next big step in your relationship— sex. Sex was what built the foundation of (most) relationships, it only proved how much you love your partner deeply. You wanted to give Han your everything, you’ve never wanted to do something more in your life. As you slowly break away from the kiss, you make sincere eye contact with your boyfriend, his eyes shown nothing but endearment for you.

“So I’ve been thinking about stuff lately…” you trailed your eyes away for a second, not feeling so confident in yourself anymore.

“Thinking about what?” He asks attentively, his eyes were still glued onto you, you could feel the intensity of his stare.

You had either two options: tell him how you really feel and what you actually want or you can save this for another time. You went with the latter and chose to keep it to yourself.

“Never mind… I’ll tell you later maybe, or another time.”

This doesn’t sit too well with Han. He likes when you’re open with him, honesty has always been a huge thing for him and when you act reclusive towards him he gets worried.

“No babe, just tell me. I promise I won’t judge you— I never do! I just want you to feel comfortable and be able to share anything with me.” His hand rubbed your thigh gently which made you feel more at ease and much calmer.

“I think I’m ready to take the next step with you.”

“Next step?” Han replies with confusion, “You mean as in like getting married? I think we’re a bit too young for that right no-“

“No Ji, I meant like I’m ready to have sex!” You finally admit, the look on his face became utterly priceless.

“Oh— really? What made you decide that?” He wonders curiously.

He knew for a long time that he was ready to have sex with you but just never mentioned it until you gave him the green light. He’s never pressured you into doing anything you didn’t want to do, make-out sessions with him would get super hot and heavy sometimes but that still didn’t stop him from not pushing your boundaries. He knew you were a virgin and that it would take time for you to make a decision as the relationship progresses.

“I just love you so fucking much Ji, I wanna give you my whole body, want you to be my first.” You bring your hand to his, moving it to your breasts for him to feel you.

His hand squeezes your boob gently, causing you to gasp at the light action. He cups his whole hand around it and juggles it in his palm, smiling at your beauty.

“You have the most perfect tits.” Han says in almost a whisper, still admiring your presence.

Both of his hands now playing with your boobs as he massages them through your t-shirt, you couldn’t help but go back and kiss his soft lips. The kiss grew more passionate as time went on, you couldn’t stop kissing those precious lips of his, you wanted your face attached to his 24/7. You got on top of him now, tangling your fingers through his luscious hair whilst your tongues glide against each other. He removed one of his hands from your breast to go grab your ass, squeezing your left cheek firmly.

“Lay on your back princess” Han says, instructing you as you lye back down on the bed. You aren’t sure what he has in mind but it can’t be anything innocent.

“What do you want to do to me?” You ask, pressing your thighs together to feel something.

“I want to make you feel really good…” He continues in a sultry tone, “I’m going to make you feel so amazing baby.”

His mouth goes back onto yours, kissing almost roughly this time. Something was taking over your boyfriend and it was turning you on incredibly. He plastered a few more wet kisses to your chin and neck, leaving trails of his glistening saliva all over you. Not a doubt was going through your mind, just undying love and devotion to your boyfriend.

“I love you so much y/n, you know that?” Han says reassuringly, you know he loves you but hearing it still made your heart flutter every time.

“I love you so much Hannie!” You probably loved him more than yourself at this point.

His hands roamed your half naked body once he rid you of your t-shirt and sports bra. His soft, tender touch was enough to drive you crazy and he’s barely done anything yet. You held your breath as his fingers danced across your skin, your brain was completely fuzzy and only filled with desire. You tugged at the end of his shirt so he could take it off and he obliged, pulling it from the top and lifting it over his head. You get a full clear view of body, that beautiful body of his, you wonder how a man can be shaped so gracefully. He had the most broad shoulders, chiselled abs and muscles, but his waist was so pretty and tiny. It didn’t make sense how one could be built such a way but he was perfect, his physique truly mesmerized you.

You go in to feel his muscles, his biceps were absolutely to die for, every time he flexed you swear you could hear your kitty purring down there. He was just so hot, you needed to taste each and every inch of him.

“Want you so bad…” you trace the lines of body, fully enamored by your gorgeous boyfriend.

“I’m all yours babe.”

Han lazily brung his hand to the waistband of your pants, fumbling with the button to take them off but was struggling a bit.

“Here, let me help you.” You guide him in the right direction and he successfully unbuttons them.

Once your pants are off he slides your underwear down past your knees, his face lights up at the sight beneath him. You were nervous but didn’t want to tell him that incase he stops, feeling a lump in your throat now forming.

“Let me know if you want me to stop at anytime.” You loved that he was always making sure you were 100% okay with everything he did.

You nod and let him continue doing his thing, he captures his lips with yours one more time before a hand creeps up your inner thigh. His fingers lightly brush your folds and you shudder from the sensitivity. He smirks into the kiss as he presses a single digit against it, gathering your slick nicely.

“Your pussy feels so wet, I can’t wait to be inside you darling.” Han says after parting from the kiss.

His finger glides between your wet folds, feeling your warm juices gush onto him. He makes a V shape with his fingers to spread you open now, getting a better look at your heat. He licks his lips at the sight, wanting nothing more than to get a taste of you. He inches his head closer to your core and spits on it, watching the saliva run down as he licks a long, slow stripe to your cunt.

His mouth becomes suctioned to your clit as he runs his tongue all over it, slobbering against you whilst holding your hips in place.

“Fuck! So good, so good, so good…” you couldn’t stop moaning, the pleasure was just hitting you all at once.

Your eyes were about to roll to the back of your head and your legs were shaking from Han’s insane pussy eating skills. You felt your chest cave in from all the intense pleasure and just when you thought it couldn’t get any better than this, you were in for hell of a treat. One of his digits entered you, now fingerfucking you. You elicit another moan for him as his tongue picks up a quicker pace, his tongue flicks your nub viciously. His finger slips in and out slowly and adds another digit to make you gasp louder. The feeling of your boyfriend stretching you out for him was amazing, you felt your release coming by the second.

“I- I feel weird Ji..” you try to explain how you feel right now but you just can’t describe it. It felt as though you had to pee but you know you didn’t actually need to.

“It’s okay princess, it’s normal. Trust me, just let go. I promise you’ll feel so much better after baby.” He stopped what he was doing for a moment to encourage you.

His words made you instantly let go, you whimpered from the feeling of his mouth on your clit again. You rocked your hips forward to grind against him while he ate you out, playing with his hair and slightly pulling it once you felt yourself cumming. Your hips shook rapidly around him, his eye contact never broke off with you and it made you lose your mind. You mumble under your breath, trying your best to contain your orgasm but everything came crashing down violently. Han could taste your sweet essence on his tongue as he lapped up all your juices, not letting any of you go to waste. He kept himself buried between your shaky legs and pulled his fingers out, leaving you with an empty feeling.

“You ready for my cock babe?” He finally lifts his head up from your dripping cunt, his face fully soaked from the action he just performed.

“Yes, need you so bad Ji.. want you to pop my cherry.”

You looked at him with the most seductive eyes, he bit down his lip at what you just said. You know exactly how to make him feel the most special, he was special to you though, this whole moment meant everything to you.

“I’ll be gentle with you princess, I’ll try and make this as painless as possible for you.” He kisses your forehead and captures your lips in his.

He gets up momentarily to go find a condom in one of Chan’s drawers and quickly comes back. He undoes his pants to pull them off along with his boxers, opening the wrapper with his teeth and pulling the condom out to slide it on.

“I don’t usually like condoms,” Han explains “but since this is our first time I don’t want to scare you.”

You giggle at that comment, you don’t know the first thing about sex and all of this is so new to you. You’re just glad you have an experienced boyfriend that can help make this easier for you, it made you feel a lot less awkward.

“I guess I’ll have to get on birth control soon then?” You were willing to do anything for him at this point.

“It’s your body y/n, I’m not going to tell you what to do. You make your own choices.”

It was sweet how even right now he’s only thinking about how you feel, he really does care so much about you. Han repositioned himself to be between your legs again, his cock was now pressed along your folds. He gives you another kiss before asking one last time,

“You ready to do this?”

“Yes! Please hurry, I’m getting impatient!” You whine, wanting to finally feel what it’s like to take dick.

“Okay, okay, I’m just making sure you really want to do this!”

He rubs his cock against you, sliding it up and down to collect more of your wetness. You bite down on your lip, waiting for the real moment to transpire. His hand rests on the end of his cock, guiding it to your entrance, he prods your hole gently. A rush of pain inflicts your body from the feeling of just the tip stretching you, you could only close your eyes at the sensation.

“Let me know if I’m hurting you at all.” Han continues pushing himself in.

The more he inched inside you, the more painful it became. It felt as though your whole body was on fire, everything felt so strange to you. You endured the pain in hopes of it becoming better soon, you didn’t want to worry your boyfriend. You feel the size of his cock growing in you, the constant throbbing was making you dizzy. You held onto him tightly, not wanting to let ever go of him. You clench around him as he attempts to fully fit his entire cock but you wince at only half of him inside you.

“Fuck, you alright baby? Did I hurt you?” He studies you with concern, stopping immediately to gauge your body language.

“You’re so fucking tight, even though you’re soaking wet I can still barely fit my cock inside.”

Your face turns red as a tomato, you don’t know what to say and you’re getting too flustered.

“Awe, is my little princess feeling nervous? I told you it’s okay, I’ll be here with you every step of the way, I got you.”

He holds your hand in his, tentatively caressing the inside of your palm, he brings your hand up to kiss it and gave you a warm smile. He continues sliding more of his cock in and is eventually able to get most of himself settled. Your mouth is wide open once he begins slowly thrusting in you. The pain was starting to go away now, just slightly. You focus on the feeling of his length in you, you try to relax your muscles the best way you could. You feel so full, so stuffed, his cock fully immersed in your sweet cunt.

“You feel so good around me princess, just wanna fuck your tight pussy all night long..” he groans while picking up his pace, the discomfort comes back to you now, you wriggle around to make the burning sensation go away.

“Is it supposed to feel like this Ji?” You croak, trying your best to be good for him.

You know that Han would never judge you but you still felt insecure about your performance in the bedroom.

“It’s only going to hurt for a little bit, just keep thinking about me darling, think only thoughts of me.”

You can feel a knot in your stomach form now, his cock slamming into you deeply was making you see stars. You gnaw at his neck to bite down softly, you couldn’t hold in your emotions anymore. The pain was now fully gone again, the intense pleasure washing over you like a tsunami. You kept your eyes tightly shut to feel all of him, focusing on what he told you when he said to think only thoughts of him.

“Your cock feels good Ji, I love how feel inside me!” You cry out to him, arching your back against the bed.

You’ve never felt anything like this before, it all felt too good to be real. He increases his rhythm as he thrusts into you, fucking into your little virgin cunt harder. Your pussy twitches around his cock, you feel that need to pee like when he was eating you out.

“I- I think I’m gonna… cumming…” you could barely get a coherent sentence out. All you could do was continue digging your nails in his back and moan out his name.

“You gonna cum for me princess? Do it. Want us to cum together for our first time.” Han throws his head back as he keeps fucking you. He was bucking his hips in a sloppier motion now, indicating that he was getting close like you. It only took a few more pumps of his cock to get you to form a large ‘O’ with your mouth, your jaw stayed locked in place. Your walls contract around his thick cock and you gasped for air as you lose your breath.

“Ah, fuck y/n!” Han almost says with a growl, his chest feels heavy as he releases his load into the condom.

He continues thrusting slowly into you while gently massaging your breasts. You let go and feel your second orgasm approach, feeling waves of ecstasy throughout your whole body. You were both heavily panting, staring at each other with nothing but complete passion. Han collapses onto you, his sticky and sweaty body rested on yours. His cock was still buried in your cunt, you didn’t want this moment to ever be over.

“So how would you rate your first time?” Han asks while propping his head up, “on a scale of 1 to 10?”

“I’d say a 100/10, I’ll remember this day forever.”

You snuggle up against him, completely forgetting that you had your first time with Han in Chan’s bedroom.

“Well… maybe it could’ve been better if we did this in our rooms.”

“I agree, but hey there’s always next time!” Han finally pulls out of you and notices tiny droplets of blood on the condom.

“Oh my god babe, I popped your cherry!”

You were shocked that even happened since you didn’t feel anything inside you tearing, guess it was a myth that you could feel your cherry pop. Han looked so stoked by this discovery and you wish you could engrain the look on his face in your brain. You just giggle at his actions and give him another chaste kiss, cuddling with him and forgetting the rest of the world around you.

“I think we should head back out soon, they’re probably thinking what the hell we’ve been doing in here for so long.” Han gets up from the bed to go and put his clothes back on.

“I hope we weren’t too loud!” You say, grabbing your clothes to get changed too.

“If they heard us don’t worry about it, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. They’ll probably congratulate me by how much noise you were making!”

You blush once again by what he said, you can’t believe you just lost your virginity, you don’t feel any different physically but you feel way closer to your boyfriend than ever before. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have such a loving, healthy, and supportive relationship. Han Jisung really was the light of your life.

Coming out of Chan’s room felt the walk of shame. You couldn’t face any of his friends or Karina in the living room, they all instantly turned their heads to face you. Changbin started clapping loudly and everyone else followed suit after, you knew this was going to be embarrassing but this just felt like pure torture.

“Congratulations bro! It was about time you finally both got some!” Han’s friend/teammate Minho shouts.

Your biggest fear came true, everyone heard absolutely everything.

“Did you guys really have to fuck in my bed though? I just washed those sheets last week!” Chan exclaimed, giving him the evil eye.

“Hey, I don’t kiss and tell! Whatever happened in that room stays in that room.” Han brings his hand to his lips to make it look like he sealed them.

All the guys keep teasing him and you couldn’t stop blushing, maybe you should’ve waited to have sex in one of your dorms since Chan will probably never let him live this one down.

“You missed the movie anyway, might as well just leave and go for round 2!” Chan jokes.

“That actually doesn’t seem like a bad idea… thanks. Let’s go y/n!” Han links your arm around his and speed walks out the door.

Now that you were no longer a virgin, it didn’t feel all that odd to you as you thought it would be. It actually felt nice knowing you lost it to someone you love so much, someone you care so deeply out. It may not have been in the most romantic atmosphere which you’ve always pictured losing your virginity in a much better setting. However, you’ll cherish this special day with Han because even if it wasn’t the ideal scenery you had in mind, it was still a reminder that you had such a strong, beautiful connection with your lover.

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[pinkyjulien]

It's been rotating in my head all morning and since I have to wait a few hours to get my day started, might as well throw my two cents in a proper post

We really should talk about Kerry Eurodyne

Now before you run off, I think it's important to point something out; As a fandom veteran who been here since early 2021, I think others will agree when I say that the discourse surrounding Kerry has always been a hot topic that comes back around every few weeks- but why does it keep coming back?

I'm well placed to know that ignoring a problem and not talking about it publicly doesn't solve anything; everyone is quick to throw assumption and accusations, to make "callout" post, to blow things out of proportions, to take someones's squick as personal attack, and the mob mentality does the rest; everyone follow whoever is going to be the loudest about an ongoing "fandom drama"

This isn't an attempt to show anyone that they're "wrong" or "right"; there is no right or wrong in this recurring discourse. This post is an attempt at opening an healthy and mature conversation! I come in peace gfhgfh

Prefacing this by saying that I'm not a Kerry fan, and I'm not bisexual. So why the hell do I care? Well to be frank, I don't particularly care, I have my own opinions on the character, but I do care (to an extent) about this "community" and I hate seeing what happened to me happen to others, especially new commers who never meant anything wrong. Nobody deserves to be bullied out of a fandom for sharing their opinions on their own blog/space!

Alright this intro was long but let's get on it- buckle up cause this is going to be a looooot of rambling

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Through the years/months, I've noticed something rather sad; this isn't a debate between bisexual people vs biphobic people, as a lot of people might think and assume; this has always been queer people sharing, sometimes in a really awkward and hurtful way, their interpretation of a character (don't block me yet, please hear me out)

Those who know me knows that I personally care a lot about the canon and writers's visions, so first I want to share some posts about Kerry made by his literal "parents"

Mateusz Tomaszkiewicz, Narrative Designer at CDPR, shared informations on the different romance interest back in December 2020, on the game's release day

When asked about a MLM relationship option, here what he states:

(don't leave just yet)

On a now-deleted comment, RTalsorianGames, original creator of the Cyberpunk tabletop game and by definition original creator of Kerry Eurodyne, stated the following:

Please note that CDPR did in fact consult with Mike himself about Kerry being a MLM exclusive romance!

(Also this isn't a debate about if Kerry cares about V or not, let's not derail this conversation, remember that everyone is allowed to interpret a character and a relationship as they wish)

I wanted to share these tweets to point something really important; there is no "right" or "wrong" label for Kerry, and it all boils down to interpretation < key word

Kerry have multiple states; we HAVE to remember Kerry exist in some kind of cyberpunk multiverse!

We have his 2020 and 2023 self that are confirmed to be bisexual; this is the Kerry Mike and RTalsorian created, the Kerry they have full control and say over; the same young Kerry we see in Johnny's flashback

And then comes his 2077 self, which we see confirmed above as labeled as Homosexual (which again as been approved by Mike himself)

I personally think it's important to start with what his different creators have to say; Kerry is both Mike's and CDPR's character; Kerry is both labeled as being Bisexual and Homosexual

There is a lot of reasons why this change / evolution was made, even tho we all know the main reason; they needed a MLM romance in the game to complete the LI roster. But why take an already established character, a Bi character even, for the Gay romance?

I've seen a lot of people saying that CDPR erased his bisexuality, I understand why it might feel like this, but I don't think it's true or fair! Again, remember that Mike gave his OK for this; he could've at any moment said no, Kerry is HIS baby first and foremost

In game, we learn about Kerry's ex wife and kids; this is something CDPR could've not included at all (and THIS would've been erasing his bisexuality imo) it's not even something that is said out loud, but something to be found by dedicated fans; it's here on purpose, to give depth to the character and to his personal life!

We also see a couple of feminine clothes around his villa; let's not assume anything here, clothes have no genders especially in the 2077 setting, but it can also well point at one-night stand with women and/or multi-gender orgies for example

But, this won't be anything new or controversial, Kerry pushes femV advances in game- this is simply a fact! Like it or not, that's how CDPR's writers, RTAL and Mike decided to evolve Kerry's character for the game; everyone was ok with this

━

Now comes the root of the debate; Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV? and is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, and no - (don't leave just yet, please read a bit more)

Remember that I'm "just" a gay man, I've had discussion with friends of all gender and orientation about this topic and it's been enlightning to hear the different opinions on the matter!

As previously mentioned, it all boils down to Interpretation.

The discourse recently came back because someone shared their uncomfortableness regarding mods that change Kerry's preferences; in the post tags, OP made sure to say that everyone was free to do anything, to ship anything, and that this was just their opinion; but obviously the fandom didn't read that part and started to throw accusation around, and here we are (I shouldn't have to remind people that we all are free to share whatever on our respective blogs, if it hurts you just block the person, don't jump them)

OP is a Bisexual Man; a lot of other Bisexual Men related to this post and rebloged it, sharing their thoughts in the tags (I also rebloged it, I know it caused a few people to back off and block me as a result, which I respect totally)

Going to pick up my questions back up to hopefully state my opinions and "analyses" of the situation as clear as possible

Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV?

No, it's not

Kerry is bisexual, he was married to a women, and potentially still have sex with women and fem individuals, these infos are all canon in game.

Kerry pushes femV flirts away; but since he experience attraction to women, who is to say that in someone's own canon, their fem OC isn't a V, and doesn't have Johnny involved, changing how Kerry and their OC meet drastically; Kerry could fall in love with her! He could; he's bisexual after all.

Is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, it's not

Kerry has a clear preference for men; CDPR choose to show this multiple time in the game, during Johnny's flashback we can see him make out with a masc fan, we can see him being vulnerable with Johnny (imo, his lil crush is showing hard)

I personally haven't seen it/heard it in game, but I've been told that after learning about Kerry's ex-wife, Johnny has a vocal, surprised reaction, has if imagining Kerry with a woman is strange to him

However, there is a lot of biphobic things being said in the discourse, and not in the way you might think of

I thankfully never see the full extent of it; I don't see the obviously biphobic takes, stating that Kerry SHOULD NEVER be with a femV, people being nasty and ATTACKING femV/Kerry shippers; this is never ok, these have been blocked for a long time now

But I sadly see the other takes, which always icked me a bit; the takes that say, "you bisexuality isn't worth of respect if it isn't a 50/50 attraction at all time", takes that are sadly biphobic in nature (making it clear that I'm not pointing finger at anyone, nor am I accusing anyone of being biphobic)

This is what it boils down to, I think, this is the root of the problem

As mentioned before, a lot of Bisexual Men expressed their uncomfort when it comes to femV/Kerry mods; it invalidated Kerry's preference. But this isn't about Kerry, he's fictional, he CANT be hurt by anything, by mods or art or whatever; It invalidate Bisexual Men that share the same preference in Men, Bisexual men that related to Kerry for X or Y.

Bisexuality is a spectrum, queer people has been fighting against Bi erasure for years, but also against Bi stereotypes; and I think this is one of them? (Please correct me if I'm wrong)

Bisexuality isn't a strict 50/50 split preference- it can be! But 60/40, 20/80 and even 99/1 attractions are still Bisexual attractions. I've met a lot of queer people who, despite being bisexual by definition, choose not to label as such (prefering to label as straight or gay depending on their preferences) just because of this "bisexual police" imposing a strict 50/50; "How can you be bisexual, you've only dated men/women" etc

This is what is being imposed in the fandom, this is how it might looks like to people; when you attack a Bisexual Man sharing his uncomfort in seeing people not respecting a Bisexual character's preference, you're telling them "Hey, your bisexuality isn't valid if you have a preference". You're telling them "Your bisexuality isn't correct". You're showing them that you "fixed" a "flawed" bisexual character "that got erased as gay for having a preference" by "modding his bisexuality back"

Kerry being written as MLM exclusive in Cyberpunk 2077 isn't bi erasure; he's still Bisexual, he simply has a strong preference for Men. A preference that he always had, but that can also be amplified after his divorce with his ex wife, for multiple reasons; I also don't have to point out how many queer people in real life explored their homosexuality after being in a hetero-marriage for most of their lives! And that's ok, queer love is an ever evolving spectrum, and I think it's awesome we get more fleshed out characters that explore this in depth

I've seen people compare Kerry to Johnny, and I don't think it's fair; for the simple reason that Kerry is a romance option and Johnny is not.

Johnny express a clear preference for women; however he replies to V (and flirt, in some case) the same way regardless of gender! Kerry on the other end, as previously said, pushed femV's advanced away. Something Johnny can't do since he's not a romance option; tho if he was, and if he was pushing mascV advances away, it would be the exact same situation and same problematic!

Another character that is canonly bisexual is Goro; he replies to V's flirt through text messages the exact same way, he doesn't seem to express any preferences (and no, his "obligation in japan" isn't necessarily a wife, this is heteronormative and another problem all together, not the subject here)

People can express being uncomfortable seeing Johnny with a given gender, or Goro with a given gender; but there isn't any """reason""" to it outside of personal preferences

Kerry situation is problematic because it lies in his clearly, canonly stated preference, how people decide to interpret it, and how it can come off to other queer people who might share sexuality and/or preference with the character

━

Everyone is free to ship whoever however they want

But please; remember that everyone is different. People being uncomfortable with a character bisexuality preference being ""fixed"" shouldn't be too surprising; and if it is, please re-read my post/ You have to be ok with this fact, it's OK to make content that might be uncomfortable for others; this is fiction!

There isn't any Right or Wrong way to be bisexual, to be queer Kerry's bisexuality is perfectly fine; unmodded or modded Everyone is Different; Every Queer experiences is different People relate to characters in different way

Nobody is being misoginist; there isn't any double standard at play

Bisexual people sharing their opinions on their own blogs on how a fandom handle a character's bisexuality isn't biphobic, or an attack to anyone who interpret the character differently!

I promise you nobody is attacking anyone, and a lot of things being said accidently comes off as biphobic on both sides of this eternal "debate"

It all comes down to respecting others interpretations, and agreeing to disagree! Tumblr's filtering system work great, you can easily filter and block tags, or even people if needed

I might've said things awkwardly, and for this I apologise; but don't put words I didn't say into my mouth! If you don't agree, that's fine, and you're more than welcome to filter/block me if needed; but please do not paint me as biphobic or misoginist, same goes to everyone who shared their thoughts on the matter, these are serious accusation and can wrongfully hurt a lot of people

Ship and let Ship, take care of yourselves and remember to curate your space 🙏

#Cyberpunk 2077 #Kerry Eurodyne #fandom discourse #Long post #like-LOOOOONG LONG LONG post ghfhgfh #feeling like sharing my opinions on things a lot latetely don't mind me much #but I think it's important to have an open mind and think for ourselves - to not follow mob mentality #and to understand where everyone is coming from - to try and see opinions from every sides #fandom wank

[sturdy-and-soundproof]

Hallo am Aegis!

Am a Shieldon!!!

Am fond of berries and leaves and twigs and polishing face on trees!!

Tell me your favorite berry!!!

Love to make friends!! will you be my friend?

Current Arc: None!

I have friends who live with me at Home!! Sometimes they talk on the blog too!!

Plover is one of my guardians!! Used to think she was very mean!! Now not so much, she just cares a lot!

Kristen is another one of my guardians!! She always has fun toys and tasty berries!!

My Rotom friend manages the blog and {zzt talks like this zzt} they do not have a name, is just Rotom!!

And I have a Porygon friend named Zeus who helps translate my speech when I'm talking to other humans out loud!!

I also have a zigzagoon friend named Hamburger who hangs out in Home!! Shush do not tell scientists he is there!!

Pelipper Mail/Malice: Open

Magic Anons: Open

((Ooc under the cut!))

Technically inspired by @/wingsofachampion (I don't know if they mind @'s) but I don't have any knowledge about the PMD games so instead take this little revived dinosaur living in an enclosure in Sinnoh!

Hi, this is a blog by Tori, it's unfortunately mostly inactive at the moment, if you're interested in my other blogs please check out @twodragons-blooper-reel

Was feeling the urge to make a sentient pokemon blog, and shieldon is one of my favorites so I figured I'd give this a whirl <3

Feel free to interact, I don't bite!

I do not mind answering higher stakes things. I even enjoy it sometimes!! But I try to keep this blog light purely because I know people need the fools in the back of a Shakespeare tragedy sometimes and I'm happy to provide that.

Please respect that, and don't try to pull Aegis or his caretakers into higher stakes without my permission. If you are unsure then please ask! Either in an ask or in dms. I do not mind answering questions myself. I just want a healthy RP community, and that comes with communication.

Another blog by @twodragonsinatrenchcoat :D

Please do not pelipper mail Aegis body parts without asking. It's not kind and I will delete any asks with such things that are not asked about beforehand

#shieldon posts #pinned post #sentient pokemon #pokemon irl #pkmn irl #rotomblr #rotumblr

[remotepixel]

Hi, how would yandere avengers react if their platonic teen obsession threatens to disclose their yandere tendencies or has actually done so to the media?

Hii, thank you for requesting!!

Tw: yandere themes + kidnapping mentions

-I’m assuming this is somewhat far into the obsession, enough where it’s obvious to you that something is very wrong, but not to the ‘they’ve gone completely off the rails and everyone can tell’ point.

-Getting the evidence would already be pretty hard. Sure, you have the obvious fact they’re always hanging around you, but, they’re superheroes, people are naturally going to support their side unless you have enough proof (or, sometimes, no matter what).

-Any clear red flag (e.g. trackers) would be specially manufactured by a world-renowned genius, so a casual police search likely wouldn’t find anything, and it’d be pretty nerve-wracking to try and record a conversation with a superspy.

-However, if you do collect enough, it still wouldn’t be easy to get rid of them.

-If you threaten them, the amount of guilt-tripping would be mental. Some of them are more self-aware than others, but all of them share the same sentiment that, at the end of the day, they’re (or, think they are) helping you. They know some of their behaviour crosses normal lines, but look how much your life has improved since they’ve been around, isn’t it a good thing someone cares about you?

-All of them would be hurt by your threat, and likely back off at least for a while if you strike some sort of deal (e.g. you leave me alone, I won’t tell). But they’ll be back, or still lurking around in parts of your life.

-I think members like Natasha and Bruce, who are more self-aware yet never speak out against the more delusional ones (since they’re still working together at the end of the day), would back off the most. They don’t want you hating them even more, and, currently, your relationship is on a thin line - it’s better to back off and subtly guide you back to them then force it.

-None of them fully take your threat seriously, even if it hurts their feelings. They know they have the upper hand here: government links, popularity, influence - you’re completely out of your depths even if you think, or act, otherwise.

-If you’re still very consistent on disclosing everything to the media despite their efforts to chill, you’re likely getting kidnapped. Drastic, obviously, but it’s the only way to guarantee you’re both in their grasp and others aren’t concerned.

-If you already disclosed it however, the methods you used to go through with it play a big role in the outcome.

-As I mentioned, there’s probably trackers in your phone, both for location and general monitoring, e.g. a keylogger. The second you post your blog, or send your email to the news, it’s getting deleted and completely wiped if possible. In this case, it’s probably going to follow the same route as before, but with extra emotional pain because you didn’t even “try talking” to them.

-If you focus more on meeting up with reporters in real-life, maybe getting them to collect their own evidence in the background, there’s a higher chance of success. However, that does require having insiders in a hopefully-popular newspaper company, something a teen probably wouldn’t have.

-Assuming the avengers haven’t noticed the news coming out about them, for at least enough time that citizens are able to read and share this, panic would ensue the second they realise.

-They would experience a range of emotions, most mentioned above but some would also hold a bit of rage (not necessarily at you, your actions more so). They have one, very obvious thing they need to do now though: address the ‘rumours’.

-Deleting the reports would raise more suspicions, and they can’t just admit everything the news is saying is technically true, so they decide to try and twist this into their favour. They’ll (mainly Tony as he’s probably dealt with this sort of thing before) make up some sort of story that puts you into the wrong - like you’re lying for attention or were trying to purposely ruin their reputation for petty revenge.

-If they’re feeling really nice they may try and chalk it up as a misunderstanding, but I think it depends who has a role in writing the response. For example, Steve would think it’s slightly too far, while Tony would just think of it as a necessary outcome - he also just doesn’t like listening to Steve’s advice so.

-You become a pretty big talk in the media, but, when people start believing the avenger’s side, it’s mostly snide comments or dragging your name through the mud. The avengers would probably feel bad for the amount of slander you’re getting, assuming they didn’t before, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they deleted a few, just plain evil comments. But you forced their hand, if you haven’t had ‘lied’ in the first place, this would have never happened.

-In a way, this may just bring you closer to them. With what feels like the whole world against you, the only people who really seem to care anymore are the avengers. They might even offer you a deal - you admit you were lying to the media, apologize, and they’ll publicly support you. Sure, it won’t get everyone off your back, and you’re be scared to even go outside in case reporters are there, but it means you have the most powerful team in your corner again, and isn’t that what you need?

#platonic yandere #yandere mcu #yandere marvel #platonic yandere mcu #platonic yandere marvel #platonic yandere avengers #yandere avengers #RemotePixel

[yourdaddyfigure]

You seem to be going through a lot with what's going on in your life. Have you thought of maybe stepping away for a bit and taking a huge break from it all? Sometimes going away and being with yourself for a little while can do a lot of good. Think a bunch of stuff over. I don't think deactivating is a good idea because a lot of people would seriously miss your blog and your presence. You mentioned fucking up multiple times, and I hope you don't beat yourself up over it too much. You're only human, and we all end up screwing up more than once. You're a good guy, and I'm sure she knows that too, or she wouldn't be giving you all the chances she has given you. But King, you really need to stop screwing up those chances, because one person can only go so far before they had enough of someone's mistakes. I don't know your love interest, and I don't know you very well either, but if she happens to give you another chance, prove to her why you're worth keeping around. I'm sure you know that actions will always speak louder than your words ever could. So if you care for her and love her, as we all know you do from what you post, just show it. Stop allowing your jealousy to ruin things and create problems that weren't even there to begin with. So I highly suggest maybe just deleting the app for a little while and not deactivating your blog, and when you're ready, just come back. Sending my best wishes.

I swear whenever I get stuff like this from you guys I get so annoyed that anonymous ask exist because I can’t properly thank who sent this.😂

I appreciate you and you’re absolutely right about a lot of the things you said. So I’m gonna take your advice and just delete the app. Taking a step away from tumblr for a little while could help.🫶🏼 Again thank you really, I’m sending you a bunch of hugs and please stay safe my friend.🫂🫂🫂🫂

#malakai’s ask #anon

[stormblessed95]

Hey Storm, i am some what a baby army and i just very recently found your blog because i picked an interest in Jikook and wanted to know more about them. Going through your blog has been like a breath of fresh air. I love how you present the information you know about Jikook and i love how you ALWAYS back up your claim with facts. When i need credible information about Jikook your blog is the first place i run to and i am grateful we have someone like you here.

So as i said, I developed an interest in jikook and i am trying to gather my facts about them so i am not deceived by edits and wrong information. I do believe Jikook are a thing but sometimes i get a lil confused by some of the things i see about taekook. I don’t think Taekook are a couple ofcourse but i would like to have more information on somethings that happened when i wasn’t in the fandom yet.

So one of the biggest moments for taekooker is the Atomix date. I don’t have alot of details of the whole thing but i know Jk posted a selfie with Tae which was taken at the restaurant and according to some taekookers, the restaurant made a post and tagged taekook and thanked them for coming. But i am a little confused cuz i’ve seen so many shippers and non shippers claim that all of BTS were at the restaurant, not only taekook. They mentioned someone emailed the restaurant and they confirmed that BTS were all there. But tkkrs insist it was just Tae and Jk and that Jk made a reservation 6 weeks earlier and they even got to go on a day, the restaurant wasn’t normally open. Do you have more details about this?

Me, forgetting that baby armys weren't here during the whole atomix thing because it feels like that all happened yesterday.... but I guess in reality that was 2 years ago. So it tracks 😭😂

September 2021, after the MET, BTS went out to eat at Atomix and JK posted a 3 photo series on his Instagram (he has since deleted his insta and everything on it 😭) of him and him and Tae in the Atomix bathroom mirror. They looked GORGEOUS.

And tkkrs took it and ran with the idea that it was then a taekook date. Would've been a nice dinner out together if it was, but it was confirmed by a staff members friend who was an ARMY and a Tae bias (not a shipper) that all of BTS and their management and staff were there. Taekook just took photos together. Messages from the staff here:

Original tweet thread:

And I believe this was the Atomix restaurant owner who reposted JKs photo and said "BTS in house" which is great rep for their business honestly lol

As for tagging taekook and thanking them for coming, I assume you mean this.... i belive Atomix is a client of them, and they designed the mirror they are in posing in. Lol they tagged taekook as it's taekook in the photo. Which generally is how that works when people tag stuff, especially with BTS duos, its their unit name. They also tagged "bts" and "army" in there too 😂

Them at the MET Rooftop Garden where Namjoon gave a speech right before

Idk where the 6 weeks early reservation idea came from, but whatever. Lol Hope that helps!

#content finds #correcting misinformation #tkkrs are liars #atomix ot7 date night

[yutaholic]

LUNAAAA 😭 I miss you. Tumblr would suck without you and your writing. I am so sad to know you're not coming back with new fics but I understand, and sometimes there are things we just have to let go of. And OMG YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED 🥹🥹🥹 CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES TO THE BOTH OF YOU 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 When you first talked about your bf I always knew there was something special about him. You have indeed found your person 🥹 I hope you guys stay happy and in love forever! Glad to hear your nephew is also doing well. You guys deserve all the good things in life.

Thank you for all the amazing fics you blessed us for the past years. Your writing will always be one of my favorites ♥️

- Dyochi Anon

P.S. I hope you won't delete your account because I still come back to reading them every now and then whenever I am stressed or just need something to read and take my mind off things 🥺🙏🏻

Thank you so much! He really is my person and my best friend and he has such a good relationship with my nephew. They've even started going fishing together lol (we moved near the coast and everyone fishes here haha) I'm crazy about this guy and he's such a wonderful person. We got matching tattoos the night he proposed 😭

We're talking about having the wedding next year and just doing something small with our closest family. We're both nonreligious so his best friend has been floating the idea of getting ordained so he can officiate our ceremony which I think would be great hahaha

Honestly thank you for being so supportive and understanding even though I know it's disappointing about this blog. I promise I have no intentions of deleting it because even I gotta hop on every now and then and read some of my stuff *cough* Deep End *cough* No matter what I'm proud of my fics and it makes me happy that you guys still reread them!

Much love to you, dear. I hope you're doing well! ❤️

[yooniesim]

I'm not sure what simblr's general opinion on this is, but peeking back in after my long hiatus, I have a lot of thoughts...

In my opinion, Patreon killed all of the momentum that ts4 simblr had pre-2020. I think we all know a lot of the bigger issues- permanent paywalls, creators doxxing and bullying, cliqueing up and sharing info- but I mean even besides that. I mean specifically early access, two to three week delays for releasing cc, the version of paywalling that most people (including myself) accepted.

It's good that creators were able to get paid for their work, especially during the pandemic. But I think, unfortunately, it had other effects too. I remember back then, being disappointed at how much was eacc, and that was only like 25% of the cc coming out, and it (almost) always was popular creators with high quality work. But slowly but surely, nearly everyone moved to patreon (which I've noticed has caused a lot of cc to be forever lost once patreons were closed/deleted) and 99% of the time it was early access or even exclusive. Many people started blogs with early access cc from the get-go, without having a presence beforehand, and those blogs seemed to be some of the most focused on blocking anyone that shared their cc. The cc varied in quality- it could be simple mesh edits that were still mostly ea, or recolors, or even just patterns sourced from other sites. It didn't matter what it was, it was just content for money, anything to pad out the month and keep patrons. Creators would do early access and then link the cc through adfly or to TSR or simsdom/simsfinds, one by one, even if it was supposed to be a pack. It wasn't bad enough to call out, but it was purposeful.

CC on tumblr became a business in a way it hadn't before, even with other paysites in sims history. And while some people are happy to donate to creators they like now and again... most people either can't or won't. Many simmers are children, and many simmers are adults with strict budgets, especially during the pandemic. And truth be told... they probably got bored. Because it's all terribly boring. CC shopping isn't fun anymore. It's the briefest serotonin seeing something interesting on your dash and then instantly flying away when you see you'll have to wait almost a month for it. And if it wasn't a creator I really liked, I forgot about it instantly after that... sometimes even if I really liked them. Motivation dropped. People stopped being excited, and stopped playing.

Nowadays, it seems even worse. Because the amount and variety of cc and creators has dropped drastically. I'm shocked to see 2-3 cc posts per day, if that, most of them paywalled. It isn't just cc posts either- used to you couldn't look in the s4cc tag for cc, it would be so crowded with non-cc sims posts, but now it's depressingly easy... and empty. Lookbooks, edits, gameplay, cc, it all seems more sparing. And you don't see the same creativity, the same fun random little items, stuff that was interesting even if it wasn't necessarily perfect. Or wild ideas or cc that would appeal to certain small niches. Because that isn't profitable, is it? When you need to create a certain amount of items per month at a certain quality to keep patrons and therefore income, you have to strategize, for good or for bad. Some people are able to do that, and while good for their business model, it limits what they can create and how much energy they can spend on each item. Some people aren't able to do it, and burn out and leave. Either way, creativity suffers. Enjoyment suffers. Creators leave from the passion being sucked out of their hobby; non-creators leave from frustration and boredom. And you're left with a handful of creators still going by their cc business playbook, month by month. But how long can those few sustain themselves?

It's natural for communities to ebb and flow, or even completely die out, but ts4 simblr had been going strong for years before this overall, even if it was in waves. In the pandemic, it should've flourished the way other many other communities did, especially gaming focused ones. But, it didn't. Instead it slowed down, more people left than the amount coming in, the engagement died down, and it seems like as a whole custom content hasn't advanced at all. Maybe it would've happened anyway, but I honestly think patreon contributed a lot. Also, ts2 and ts3 communities weren't affected in the same way, afaik, which makes me think it was paywalls even more.

Can it be fixed? Maybe. If paywalls weren't as much of a thing anymore- and I don't mean completely gone, but just a fairer ratio- I think it could. But now that it's become a standard, I doubt that will happen. I think most people have moved to other places where they don't have to deal with it, like discord servers, and simblr will continue to lose momentum.

It's good for creators to have the option of getting some income for their work, but I guess I'm just saying... at what cost? Beyond the monetary? If you're not super popular, are you even making enough for the added stress to be worth it? If you are, is this going to be satisfying and maintainable long-term, without burn-out/effects on your mental health? Who will pay for it when the number of players keeps dropping? And will this continue on to the Sims 5 community in the future? I honestly hope not.

#text #ceci speaks #delete later #ts4 #sims 4 #the patreon issue #this may be unpopular #especially with other creators #and i could be wrong since i havent been around for a bit #but this is what it feels like to me #long post #im just disappointed #and a little nostalgic #no one asked ceci #sorry creators that are actually great #and need the income #its all just sad

[ingravinoveritas]

Hi Amy, I'm the cursed anon who asked Neil lol (and I guess I'll stay anon for all my life after what happened today). I just wanted to thank you for what you wrote. I was sure my ask would have reached your blog somehow, alas. I don't know what to say, I'm mortified, it's been a rather hard day for me, since I felt completely misunderstood and belittled by someone I looked up to. I'm sorry because I must have phrased my ask in a weird way, an even "creepy" one, it seems.. By the way, I'm so glad you didn't find anything creepy in that, because I don't know for the life of me what I said that was perceived that way. I spent the entire day thinking about it and, at the same time, I tried to distract myself from shame. I don't know how to describe it, but this answer made me question so many things, about my mental health too, and I definitely didn't need that. He could have just said that he didn't quite understand what I meant, instead he only made me feel stupid and fed me to the lions. I mean, of course I know that season 2 is wrapped for example, I just wanted to tell him that maybe this sort of casting might be a future problem for season 3, and that I hope it won't be an issue for season 2, even though I saw many people turning up their nose already. (As I also bloody know that David Tennant and Michael Sheen are actors playing a part, evidently this is not what my concerns were!) I really don't know how to better explain it, English is a hard language to convey things sometimes. Neil doesn't speak any other language than it, and it shows honestly, because he doesn't know how hard it is for someone who is not native; me asking that might have been an impulsive decision, but I really tried to do my best with the language, it was hard, and it's like he pretended he didn't understand nevertheless. I don't know, I'm so disappointed by such a response. I thought it was more likely that he just read and didn't answer, but that condescending response? I didn't expect that. I'm sorry that I made him so sour/sharp/harsh (I don't know which adjective is the more appropriate in this case, and it drives me crazy that it can take so little to be misinterpreted, that's what I was referring to) because evidently I must have offended him or hit a nerve, which was not my intention. I might have been stupid to ask that, but if the ask was so annoying to him, it's not like he was obliged to answer it and being so cruel at the point to completely distort its meaning. Do I regret it? I do, but maybe without all of this, I wouldn't have ever seen this side of him, and I'm for the truth, even if it always tastes bittersweet, so.. Good to know, I guess. 

Sorry for ranting! Oh my god, I didn't realise, it's just that it's still an open wound to me. Coming back to you, I wanted to tell you that even if you might not agree with me (you have all the right not to), your response is actually the kind I expected from a man of power who is twice my age (just saying). Thank you for always being so considerate and tactful, you really did made me feel a little better. I wish there were more people like you in the world, I mean it.

(Sorry for the disappeared ask, I deleted the account after sending it, thinking that it would have stayed in your inbox once it was there.. Well, I was wrong haha. I'm going to delete it after you answer then, I had reactivated it just because you turned the anons off and I wanted to thank you instantly <3)

Hi, Anon. Oh, I am so sorry for what you went through yesterday. I'm also floored to have you reach out to me, as I didn't even realize you were aware of my blog, but I thank you for doing so and sharing your thoughts/feelings with me.

It saddens me so greatly to know how much Neil's response has hurt you, and how it has affected your mental health. If the comments on my post about what happened are indication, however, you are definitely not the only one who felt that his response was not okay. What you said about feeding you to the lions was something one of my followers also mentioned, and whether Neil intended it or not, I would have to agree with that assessment.

The fact is, Neil is a writer. He knows how powerful words can be, and how suggestive. So by calling your question "creepy" in that first sentence, he is creating the lens through which the reader is going to view your question. And so what I would say is that two things can be true here, which is that 1) You have every right to feel the concerns you do, but trying to engage Neil about it was probably not the best idea; and 2) Neil has the right to feel/say what he wants, but deciding to answer your question the way he did instead of simply ignoring it was also probably not the best idea.

I don't know if you've been on his blog at all today, but Neil actually went into a bit more detail about his rationale, re: the use of the word "creepy" in the comments on this post, as part of a back-and-forth exchange with another fan who again brought up the issue of nepotism. I thought I would highlight these two comments in particular:

What I was struck by in the comment on the left was two specific things: 1) Neil's mention of the "undertones" to your question. Going by what you wrote, Anon, as well as the message that you've written here, I do not think there were any undertones to your Ask--with the possible exception of calling Neil's character into question (which, if he was hoping to squash that, it is now beyond ironic that his response to you has achieved the exact opposite); and 2) That someone who has been described as "so Tumblr" and "Neil gets it" would somehow be oblivious to how venomous people can be on social media, especially when encouraged by the creators of their favorite works, and why someone would therefore not want to make themselves a potential target. In just the first sentence of his response to you, however, Neil proved exactly why you were right to use a burner account.

In terms of the comment on the right, we see Neil draw a false equivalence between your question and people criticizing him for casting POC actors in Sandman. This was (in my opinion) Neil doing this fan what he did to you, which is twist around what they were saying as a means of deflection and avoiding answering the question that was actually being asked, which was about nepotism. The other irony for me is him talking about people accusing him of having a secret agenda, while he was the one doing the same thing to you. The only difference is that his assumption ended up having serious consequences, as we are now seeing.

I think you did hit a nerve, Anon, but--as strange as it may sound--I don't think it had anything to do with you. My feeling is that there is something going on with Neil and he is using Tumblr as an outlet--much in the same way that Michael used Twitter as an outlet in 2019/2020. So I do not think you are "cursed" or "made" Neil be salty/harsh--I think he was already this way and took whatever is happening with him out on you. Because if everything was absolutely fine--if what you were mentioning in your question was totally ridiculous and Neil was entirely unbothered by it--I do not think he would have answered it, nor would he still have been engaging this fan about it for hours afterward.

I know this probably won't be of much comfort, and I am sorry. English is not my second language, but I am autistic, and I relate very deeply to what you described about searching so hard for the right words (which is probably why it takes me forever to answer my Anons) because of not wanting to be misunderstood. And I know very well what it's like to have someone you so greatly admired turn out to be not at all what you expected, especially when everyone else's perception of that person is so wildly different.

It is for that reason that I can understand fans on here and Twitter rushing to defend Neil, not wanting to feel that someone they love could possibly do anything wrong. "Neil is a human being" is a comment I've seen frequently...but if we are going to say that Neil is human, then that means he is imperfect. It means he makes mistakes. And it should not be controversial to say this. I've also seen people in the aftermath of this saying how kind Neil is to the fans...but his response to you was unkind. Setting someone up to be a target is not kind. Neil has so many people who write into him who are dealing with mental health issues and concerns, and at best his response to you was thoughtless...but at worst, it sends a message to other fans that they, too, could become targets for absolutely no reason. And while I do not believe that Neil owes the fans anything, having an awareness of the power he wields and a sense of basic human decency does not seem like much to ask.

You do not ever have to apologize for ranting to me, Anon. I'm so glad that what I wrote in my other post helped you to feel better, even if just a little. I am by no means perfect--far from it--but I've been in enough fandoms and had enough heartaches to know that I would want to do anything I could to spare someone else from going through the things I went through. The shame here is not yours for asking a question that yielded a disproportionate overreaction from Neil--the shame belongs to the people who piled onto you because of it.

I want you to know that I was truly touched by your compliments, and that you felt comfortable enough to be so vulnerable with me here. I'm sending you lots of love, as well as the hope that we can continue to have honest discussions about these subjects. A lot of people are with you, and believe me when I again tell you that you are not alone. xx

#anonymous #reply post #good omens #good omens 2 #neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant #also FWIW I do agree with you Anon #regarding the nepotism #especially when it comes to Georgia and AL #but that's a whole other post for a whole other day #the GO fandom has meant so much to me since 2019 #so all of this has been so disquieting on so many levels #my heart hurts #fandom woes #discourse

[arafilez]

﹙বন্ধু﹚ ─── ㅤ‵ㅤ  MOOTS . 🎧

𝐇𝐎𝐖ㅤthey ㅤdon't ㅤ◠◠ㅤ take ㅤ responsibility ㅤafter ㅤ ᶻzㅤ 𝒯.rain wreckingㅤmeㅤ醜い.ㅤ

𒉽 @orikiys 𓂃᜔ val

a weird kid who i met in wattpad and now is my life support. a part of the simpsons where we are just messing around and never listening to anyone except our insane mind. apparently she is our mother (NOT)

𒉽 @haneagerr 𓂃᜔ alexa

literal definition of "you're an asshole but i love you" cause she. is. loud. completes the simpsons (pressure on simp for han jisung). personal carebear who goes insane and shouts with me. very much recommended but if you break her i will break you.

𒉽 @dexaes 𓂃᜔ vyaz

cold but you thaw, and thaw and thaw and like finally you break whatever shell he has on. gif master but has only one taehyung gif ready sips tea. talented designer who i regularly bless with a seonghwa slap

𒉽 @slytherinshua 𓂃᜔ zanna

my fellow shua stan and a professional neck analyser. don't hurt her cus i will personally analyse you then. softie frr and has the warmth of a summer day and i just wanna hug her.

𒉽 @hotteoki 𓂃᜔ skits

this person was a pleasant surprise cus finally i have an atiny frnd omggg. love how so loud and gawd the energy is so matching. git sassed cus i messed up dates smh. best assortment of ateez memes Imfao.

𒉽 @blue-jisungs 𓂃᜔ axe

the famous and the sweet person who i am moots with and so talented writer omfg. like i legit love the way she writes. cute human with a hot profile

𒉽 @fairyhaos 𓂃᜔ yena

my fellow shua stan [2]. we talk occasionally but our vibes match so much. alw rants abt shua abd hao and we do not regret it cus they should be talked about YES.

𒉽 @atinyniki 𓂃᜔ niki

the funniest part about meeting you is my account getting deleted. like i saw you are same as me and bam! instant mooties. you are very fun person (sometimes technology challeges you) but so nice omg

𒉽 @jeonghanfr 𓂃᜔ coco

cute kid i instantly recognized and so so lovely. sometimes so hyper it makes me worry but way to go bestie. the biggest hannie stan omg and purest heart

𒉽 @eightmakesonebraincell 𓂃᜔ loren

my fav author followed me back :D please donate a brain cell everyone much needed in the blog. i love how we became close with my age convo but i m glad we are moots. i love love love your text imagines and hcs and your brain :D

𒉽 @quhrtz 𓂃᜔ elayne

the older sister i have always wanted tbh. she is such a sweet and lovely person with a heart of gold and also really intelligent. makes the best playlists and is the ultimate listener to my rants. so so damn trustworthy

𒉽 @flurrys-creativity 𓂃᜔ flurry

MOTHER DRUNK AUNTY. like sometimes do you looks at someone and wonder what is going on inside their head. such a helpful person omg she saved me from illegal stuff on tumblr everyone

𒉽 @daesukiii 𓂃᜔ dae

REAL MOTHER. total queue-ti because she is. wooyoung on top for her and can we disagree? NO. anyways very helpful, trustworthy, friendly af, and so sweet. she can actually keep up with my weirdness (that's the dae-namic)

𒉽 @potatomountain 𓂃᜔ doom

the vibes i just did with our first talk and i love it so much. living for the yunsang crumbs we both love, such a sweet and nice person (who is supposed to be terrorizing me) with love ofc.

𒉽 @weird-bookworm 𓂃᜔ sky

i love your energy omg. and the fact that i have an indian moot in tumblr and yk what i talk about and we match so so much. i just love our convos and the hype that comes with it and especially every relatable damn talk. if our convos get exposed i think we might have to run

𒉽 @lvlystars 𓂃᜔ nini

such a mood omg. we met 'cause she liked my weird reblogs of her story and after some months (and multiple weird encounters later lol) we decided to become of moots!! her music taste is top tier. SCREAMING IN UPPERCASE WITH HER

𒉽 @planetkiimchi 𓂃᜔ kimchi

her panic in k-labels server 'cause i told i saw her and she thought she did illegal stuff. such an adorable personality with a fun alias and we do match a certain vibe. also she is such a sweetheart and hardworking person.

𒉽 @yourlocaljonghoe 𓂃᜔ minnie

minnie is my safe space because she is so "warmth by the fireplace" coded omg. i love her writing, her personality and a whole lot of cuteness she is wrapped in. also the friend who is as unhinged as me huhuhu

𒉽 @sxmmerberries 𓂃᜔ latte

ahem! so where do i start, smut hour bestie, bestie who has tenacity to send me reels for a month straight getting me into zb1, bestie who stays awake till 3am to swoon over fics with me, i cant stop yk. i appreciate her sm 'cus the way she climbed my walls with her rants, so less people actually care that much. i love her okay!!

𒉽 MY LOVELY ANONIES 𓂃᜔

🥭 anon . 🎀 anon .

ㅤㅤ(ㅤㅤ© arafilez on tumblrㅤㅤ)

#⺌ m.oots ♡ #﹏ val ☆ .↻ #﹏ alexa ☆ .↻ #﹏ vyaz ☆ .↻ #﹏ zanna ☆ .↻ #﹏ skits ☆ .↻ #﹏ axe ☆ .↻ #﹏ yena ☆ .↻ #﹏ niki ☆ .↻ #﹏ coco ☆ .↻ #﹏ loren ☆ .↻ #﹏ elayne ☆ .↻ #﹏ flurry ☆ .↻ #﹏ dae ☆ .↻ #﹏ doom ☆ .↻ #﹏ sky ☆ .↻ #﹏ nini ☆ .↻ #﹏ kimchi ☆ . ↻ #﹏ minnie ☆ . ↻ #﹏ latte ☆ . ↻ #🥭ㅤ──ㅤ anon <3 #🎀ㅤ──ㅤ anon <3

[sungbeam]

requests, the third round

a/n: yk,, i always say im not good with requests, but sometimes, i really do just need a whole system reboot and to look at other people's ideas 💀 so this is me trying 🤸‍♀️

NOW OPEN FROM TODAY, SEPT. 5TH TO FRIDAY, SEPT. 8TH !! NOW CLOSED

some ground rules:

✶ remember that i am Not Good At Requests. if i don't end up getting to yours/give up on them, then i'm sorry. if u want a guaranteed fic, u prob shouldn't come to my inbox :')

✶ this is my mainly sfw blog; pls keep all requests pg-13, suggestive at the most. here's a sample of how far i'm willing to go for the sake of readers on this blog.

✶ i'm very much willing to write about death, grief, violence, and blood, to an extent. pls do not send a request romanticizing toxic and/or abusive relationships, bc i will delete it.

✶ i write fem reader at default, but i am very much open to gn reader too. just be sure to specify!

✶ would i write a love triangle? a love square? a love octagon??? (yes, i'm bringing this back) if u want it, and i have the energy for it, lmk LMAO

✶ ONCE YOU HAVE SENT IN A REQUEST, i will update this post below the cut with requests i've received so far. pls check there for if i've seen your ask :]

how to request:

send a prompt(s)/au/song inspo/etc + genre(s) + desired idol boyo(s)!!

— i'll write for anyone from the EIGHT groups i have a masterlist for LOL (prob an emphasis on tbz but maybe this'll get me back to ncity, who knows)

— some prompt ideas: dialogue. question starters. fluff. hozier for vibes. from a villain. werewolf by night quotes.

request queue!

— if u told me i don't have to use all the prompts, i still put them down just so i have all the ideas in one place ^_^

lee hyunjae x "you feel like home to me" x debut/predebut era — from anon

jung wooyoung x "i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me" x "there’s nothing sweeter than my baby" x fluff, suggestive — from @jaehunnyy

lee hyunjae x e2l x "i don't understand why you have to torment me every second of the day! you were a sweetheart when you left, obviously life happened and now you're a devil! what the fuck, lee jaehyun?!" x "you don't understand how i think of you everyday when we were apart" x "i'm not saying that i'm using you but could you fix me? put me back together?" — from anon

kim sunwoo x e2l x spy au x angst x "working together again, it’s just like old times." x "clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place." x "the only one who gets to kill you, is me." x "enemies make the best lovers, you know. " x "why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood?" — from @shakalakaboomboo

hwang intak or yoon keeho x “it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break.” x hurt/comfort — from anon

eric sohn x bffs2l x "was that your first kiss?" x "you can kiss me, you know." — from @mosviqu

eric sohn x “i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you” x “promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up?” — from @ericlvr

lee sangyeon x spy au x "what are you doing out here by yourself?" x "you gonna be a good girl for me?" x "they're dangerous? well unfortunately, so am i." x suggestive/action — from @winterchimez

choose an idol boy 😋 x actors au x e2l x happy ending by svt — from 🌷 anon

idol boy selection in progress x corpse bride au x horror — from 🌷 anon

lee juyeon(?) x soc/helnik au x "i fell in love with the fire long ago." — from @hqrana

xu minghao x "when i was a child, i heard voices… some would sing and some would scream." x "i’m standing in the ashes of who i used to be." x shang-chi au x angst and/or comfort — from @tranquilpetrichor

jacob bae or ji changmin x hozier's francesca x hurt/comfort, angst x a love that endures — from @zzoguri

ji changmin x new year's day (taylor swift) x fluff, comfort — from anon

jacob bae x band au x secret muse/songwriter au x vancouver by big naughty x busking — from @hongyangi

choi chanhee x e2l x she fell first, but he fell harder trope x banter/teasing — from @richasdiary

lee hyunjae x royalty au x poor girl/servant girl x royalty/prince au — from anon

lee hyunjae x bad boy good girl trope — from anon

kevin moon x older brother's best friend x secret relationship x "good morning, sleeping beauty." x "is that my shirt?" x "you look good like this." x "are you trying to get us in trouble?" x "are you sure this is a good idea?" x fluff, suggestive — from @confuchan

lee juyeon x "we can't keep doing this" x bffs 2 lovers — from anon

choi beomgyu x heartbreak girl by 5sos x angst, uber fluffy ending — from @loveliestfelix

lee jeno x best friends 2 lovers x dress by taylor swift — from anon

eric sohn x hands by flatsound x angst with or without a happy ending — from anon

eric sohn x “is that my shirt?” x fluff/suggestive — from anon

lee hyunjae x "you can hold my hand, if you want." x zombie apocalypse au — from anon

kim sunwoo x sweet nothing by taylor swift — from anon

#the boyz x reader #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #wayv x reader #nct 127 x reader #txt x reader #enhypen x reader #ateez x reader #p1harmony x reader #stray kids x reader #seventeen x reader #part of me feels like imma regret this.... we'll see how i feel tonight and tmr

[edgingtanja]

The End

My blog of edgingtanja is coming to an end. At least temporarily, but maybe permanently.

I’ve experienced many amazing things here and met amazing people. I come from a place of severe self doubt, depression, anxiety, and other mental baggage. In LGBTQIA+ I identified as the „A“, asexual. But I was shown I have a sexuality in me which is worth living. I think edgingtanja has experienced on Tumblr what can be experienced here. It is now time to go home and go back into the real world, put the phones down. And it’s time to say Good-Bye.

I’ve learned you can pause secondary blogs or set them to private/invisible. This is not possible with main blogs, and this is my main and only one. So that is not an option.

I’m close to 1800 followers and I know some came to like me. My content reaches 5 years back. I’m not decided yet if I should delete it all and move on with my life. That decision will come with time. I don’t want to rush it now, as I’m not in a stable place right now.

Maybe I’ll keep it online, but without new content. Just to have my stream of updates to see what YOU are doing. Since I came to like some of you 1800… I would miss that. You can write to me, while the blog is still here. Don’t expect an answer, but you can always hope for one. Do not ask me why the sudden change. This I won’t answer, just as much as this, you don’t know how panic attacks and anxiety work.

I’m not planning to continue to write or journal here. If you are new, start at the past, the oldest post and work your way to the present day, otherwise my mess will not make any sense.

My old „pinned post“ or „about me“ will remain below, in a shortened form. For now. Maybe I should just move on and close the account already. Maybe I wait. Maybe I will be back sometime in the future. My blog was silent for months or even a year before as well. It’s a decision I’m not going to rush.

I got the email that my data is ready for download.

So this blog was about healing traumata. I wrote in my 2018 post my goal was to overcome sexual disinterest and disfunction and try to heal my mental and anxiety issues.

So did it work? Was it worth it?

It’s a partial success at best, but it is a success. I would not want to miss the journey I had experienced in the last 5 years. There have been major downs. The death of my father, a pandemic, the death of my boss, anxiety for job loss, financial insecurity, anxiety for my elderly mother of whom I’m the caretaker. Anxiety for x and anxiety for y. And now I end my blog here because of anxiety issues. Because I cry too much. I accept that this, I could not heal.

I still say it is a success because a very dear friend of mine showed me I’m not as sexually dysfunctional as I believed. My self worth is not below zero anymore. I’m not the frigid stick figure. I can get wet, on my own, with no lube. It’s on my ex when I can’t orgasm with him, not me being broken. I can scream when edging. I’m not dead inside. Thank you, thank you so much.

Any yet, it’s time to go, take a step back, and … I don’t know yet. But here, I can not continue as before. I need to stop soon, as I feel the tears are coming again.

My loves goes out, in no particular order (I’m not in the capacity to sort you now in any meaningful way!) to

@gooncaps69 @dommeana @deniedpet @alwaysopposites @duca-etereo @curiousonick76 @kokos201 @omgjustaperv @z--z--z-z @lynngoons and many I forgot here. Forgive me.

Stepping back from the internet and back to my normal life.

Update: would I have installed the tumbler app if I’d known it would make me cry and weep? Yes, anytime every time. I feel more alive than before.

Update2: I lied about my age. It was sitting the first years at 39. Then 41. The real me is 50, im scared of aging, I’m sorry if this disillusioned you, or if you think I should be more stable or grown up by now. The sun is coming back up, I’ll wipe my eyes and have a coffee outside in the warm rays.

I love you all, Tanja

The old, shortened „about me“ post, copy pasted.

So hi, I’m Tanja, or edgingtanja here. 41, fem, public servant, from Western Europe. I made a pinned post here to let you know the import stuff. This is a blog about coming out of asexuality, self-doubt, anxiety and mental health. LGBTQIA* friendly, I identify as the "A" in that!

This blog contains erotica (in text only) and descriptions of my journey into LGBTQIA*, discovering maybe B and maybe L? Trying to overcome sexual disinterest and disfunction and try to heal my mental and anxiety issues by communicating with like-minded and open-minded people on tumblr.

Of course, I’m into orgasm denial, edge games and related stuff. I’ve issues, low self-esteem since I’m a “stick”, tall and thin, a “flattie”, an “ironing board”, my breasts are tiny. As teenager I was always deeply humiliated about it. I still feel deeply sexually inadequate because of my body shape. Discovering bisexuality may be in my future. I’m submissive I guess, but I try my hardest to dominate the crap out of everyone to show weakness. I’ve been suffering in depression. For the sexual part of my depression and anxiety I use tumblr as a safe space to try to heal myself by embracing and exploring my humiliation in a playful way.

#me

[nhasablogg]

My goals for this blog in 2024

'Tis the season of overanalyzing everything about your life! So naturally I've been thinking a lot about the different spaces I occupy, such as this one, and decided I need to be a bit more intentional with how I spend my time online and offline. I'm trying not to overdo it though. Sometimes you also just have to exist.

Be transparent when I want attention. This makes it sound as if we're in a relationship LMAO, but honestly, a lot of the time I will pop in here with a random post, or a request for prompts, and it will be more a cry for attention than the actual need for prompts (although not always). Prompt + filling of prompt = validation and love and attention. But usually that won't be enough because I'm not always in the mood to write, or I'll write something short and not very good, and then I won't get the attention I was craving and I will get sad. Also not every fic will be a hit anyway. It's a fickle thing to base my emotions around. SO. Solution for this is to just tell you when I want attention, because that way I won't feel annoying and bad about myself afterward. Obviously this might not result in attention whatsoever, and also why is it your job to give it to me anyway, but that way I won't feel as desperate as much as I will at the very least feel authentic about my neediness. I am human. Sometimes I need things and have no idea who to turn to. I often turn to social media. It happens. I just want to be more honest about it next year. Maybe as a sort of therapy.

Kind of related. I want to be a bit more intentional with the fics I post. I've gotten better at leaving fics be if they're not working, rather than trying to finish every single project, but I want to let them take their time and not post fics just to post them if I'm not happy with them. That doesn't mean I can't post shorter, sillier fics I had fun working on even if they're not masterpieces. My enjoyment is just as important as the final product.

I'd also like to write more long, intricate fics, kind of like my Criminal Minds case fics. It's fun to challenge myself, as longer fanfic writing isn't my forte.

Figure out if I want prompts to mostly be open or not. I keep opening and closing them, mostly because I sometimes get in the opposite mood of wanting attention and get overwhelmed and don't want people to "demand" things from me (I know they're not demands, but you know how your brain sometimes gets). But I feel like the best prompts are the ones people will send really randomly because they suddenly got an idea. But maybe, if I stop making those "send me prompts!!!" type of posts I won't get overwhelmed by the amount of them. Does anyone have any input on this?

Stop thinking I need to do certain things to be a part of the community. I keep thinking that I should maybe interact with other people's fics more, or try to be a part of the community in ways I used to when I was younger, but the truth is that I'm not a fanfiction reader at this stage of my life, and rather than lamenting that I need to just accept it. Maybe that makes me a hypocrit, but I don't believe in forcing things like that. Maybe once I stop pressuring myself it will come naturally instead, but if not I need to just be okay with the fact that I'm mostly here for my own fics. Maybe that's selfish, but it's the truth. I have enough problems in my real life to create new ones for myself here.

Stop trying to restore the old blog. It's gone. I was the one to delete it, and with that a lot of followers who never returned, and everything I did on there. It's fun getting to give advice, but people don't turn to me for them like they did back in the day and that's okay. I'm not who I was back then. I don't have the same amount of time. Instead of trying to bring back traces of the old blog I just want to focus on what I want to do with this one, in the moment and in the future. This community has changed anyway. It's time I accept that. (this does not include my Throwback Project, which I will be doing as a way to honor the past rather than try to bring it back)

Do you have any goals? Did any of this make sense? Am I overanalyzing things TOO much? Let me know your thoughts if you have any!

#text #2024 goals

[sassafras--manson]

Tagged by my friend @weirdness-is-good to do 15 questions and tag 15 friends 👽

1. Are you named after anyone?

my first name’s from a non recurring character in a soap opera my mom had watched since she was like 14. she swore that’s what she’d name her first girl and kept it a secret so no one could steal it for That Long (and i have 2 older brothers and i’m rly glad they weren’t girls cuz idk who i’d be without this name) // my middle name is after a close family friend that i rly don’t know much about, other than seeing a photo of her holding me as a baby. she passed when i was super young so i never met her when i was any older. i should ask my dad about her.

2. When was the last time you cried?

i’ve started coming off my ssri so i been at least tearing up if not full on wailing every day of january so far hahaha effexor withdrawals are no fuckin joke

3. Do you have kids?

i could see myself fostering kids some day. otherwise being the cool aunt is perfect for me (and i just got a brand spankin new niece on the 12th!)

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i did gymnastics/dance, basketball, track, and cheerleading growin up. i wanna get back into gymnastics/dance classes tho (i wanna do pole dance so bad) cuz my muscle memory and flexibility without practicing or stretching is still crazy

5. Do you use sarcasm?

fosh

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

their style and like their attitude

7. Eye color?

green

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

i love scary movies and movies that get me all soul searchy and weird, but sometimes you need something happy that’s not that deep. i just love movies. i should keep a letterboxd. i got one and just never use it cuz i haate ranking/scoring things. but i watch so many movies

9. Any talents?

turning cigarettes into smoked cigarettes 😤

but fr i’m a pretty decent singer. some friends’ band broke up recently so a couple of them and i are talkin bout startin a band where i get be somewhere between a punk and the 80s hair metal star of my dreamsss

10. Where were you born?

in a small hospital in a snowstorm

11. Hobbies?

goin to shows a lot. stick n poke tattooing. i wanna do every art n craft imaginable. but mostly i take film photos (i wanna take more AT shows but i get self consciouss), make jewelry, paint, upcycle clothes. watchin movies (usually while i’m doin art). one of these days i hope i’ll start writin poetry again like i used to but it feels awful far away as a concept

12. Any pets?

2 black cats, my fluffy lil spunky lady Elvira and my slinky v sweet and polite boy Houdini

13. Height?

5’9”

14. Favorite school subject?

i’m not in school, but it was always art, even tho i barely got to take any art classes

15. Dream job?

i’d love to be a tattoo artist and stick n poke for a living, traveling to different shops or just traveling n poking independently (help me gain traction plzz n follow me @ stab_worthy on insta 🥺) and honestly i think i could make it happen. pointillism just *made sense* to me when we did a project in my one high school art class and in the same way stick n poke *made sense* as soon as i started doin it. it’s one of the few things i don’t feel weird about saying “i’m good at this”. i’m self taught and always learning, but yeah, i’m good at this :3

tag 15 ppl

idk if i even know 15 ppl on here now that i’m rebuilding, post blog deletion 😭 so even if we’re kinda new or distant mutuals ur still makin the list (plus then i won’t be as new or distant) 🤡

@sea-wolfe @tangledupinblue8 @inertiatic @carbonfootprince @wastedefforts @ectrica @msf-diamond-dog @diegc @wonderfulcaricatureof-intimacy @oneafter909blues @corpest @lily-of-elysium @venusmolting @vulpeasera @delusionsofamor

#about me #tag game

[mycovenofchaos]

Hey. It’s the tarot blog Admin. I wanted to wish you, Maddie and everyone a happy new year. I wish all of you rest, peace, softness, and clarity of mind.✨

I was curious to see if tarot is still a thing for Evan and I found your blog with the recent reading in the tags! I’m so happy for you and you are doing such a great job too! I’m so happy Maddie has a reading partner again! It’s heartwarming to see you all hang out here! Something good came out of the blog, at least!

I also wanted to say I am sorry for hurting people. Especially Maddie. She of all people did not deserve this. I think of the blog often. I think of all of you often. Fondly. Everyone is entitled to feel however they want about me. Sometimes I get to be the bad guy in someone’s story and that’s okay. I guess I wanted to offer closure to anyone who needs to close this chapter. I did not expect to cause pain to people, to be absolutely honest. Stupid of me.

I haven’t touched my tarot deck since deleting the blog. I deleted my personal social media, even. This whole “fake leaked nudes” story got me feeling very grossed out - and paranoid. Maddie, me, and even Frances worked too hard in our lifetimes to risk it all for a blog. Like, what Rosa tried to do was Netflix-documentary- type of crazy.

I’m not coming off anon, nor am I coming back to the fandom anytime soon… GFTWD was sending weird asks up until I clicked to delete the blog... I just wanted to say hi. To say I’m sorry. And to wish nothing but good things to you, Maddie, mirrorballgirl and shinycoffeepizza and every one else. Truly, all the best. 💕

You have no idea what it means to me to receive this message from you. I was so heartbroken since I saw your message on TWEAM and came immediately to see if you had send something to me and found nothing. I am sorry for anything. I am crying a river now and can’t stop.

I really wish things were different. I miss you and our conversations!

My Discord is the same as my username here, I wish we could talk, please! I’ll wait for your message! You know you can always trust me! ♥️

@mirrorballgirl05 @fairycosworld (shinycoffeepizza) 💐

[stormblessed95]

Ive been ARMY for 3 1/2 years. I had deleted Tumblr a few months back because it felt like the jikook space was imploding lol I came back and Im happy to see you and other blogs that still keep it normal are still here even if a break may be needed later. I feel like I’ve even had to check myself when coming into jikook spaces because I think at times it can be easy to forget what we are really here for and thats our boys and their music. jikook is a cherry on top of the bts ice cream cone. You dont need it but it adds something special to an already delicious desert.  I misss jikook TONS I will not lie. Its been hard sometimes to not let all the negative things ppl say about them not upset me. But ppl will always have something to say and we cant let assholes sway how we feel. Jikook have a lot ahead of them and we just have to be appreciative they have even showed us half the stuff we have seen. I just wanted to say again that I appreciate you for still keeping it positive around here for those of us that really aren’t interested in the chaos. 

Thank you so much for all the kind words. I appreciate you 💜💜💜