#something that’s making me sad tho is I’m working on a group project p much all through this quarter

[shortkidenergy]

Me: you know there’s a lot on my plate right now but I’m actually doing pretty ok :)

My stomach: *producing so much pain*

My neck, shoulders and jaw: *holding so much tension*

My skin: *breaking out*

My sleeping: *absolutely fucked*

Me: yeah idk it’s just not really getting to me :)

#my brain words #the joke is that it absolutely is #and I’m completely aware of that but also like #it’s kind of in a box :) #and that box can stay closed :) #at least until I’m done with this round of stuff then we can have feelings again it’s fine lol #sadkidenergy #block that tag if you don’t want to see my complaining lol!! #something that’s making me sad tho is I’m working on a group project p much all through this quarter #and we do these little daily checkin prompt things #and the first question is ‘how are you?’ and I swear #everyone answers tired or stressed like 90% of the time #and it’s so fucked up!!! #like wtf is school doing to us that it’s just bludgeoning everyone’s health??? #and we’re just #chill with it!! #like we joke about it because it’s exactly what you expect and like #that’s so fucked up #being half asleep and fucked up on cortisol is not!! a good state!! for learning!! or anything!!! #just like. legitimately wondering how much of my lifespan I’m shaving off by living like this....you know?

[joecial-distancing]

2019 in review in review:

A few years ago I started tracking yearly goals, books read, movies watched etc in a year, along with overview blurbs, in private posts. End of 2019/beginning of 2020 I was really frazzled/burned out about a lot of stuff and just never finished up making the thing. 8 months later, got the urge to read back what I’d got done, then figured I’d maybe go ahead and see about finishing. 

Media tracking below the break. thoughts/blurbs written in 2020 italicized, 2019 not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_____________________________~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Didn’t do so hot on explicit personal goals, but had a lot of stuff go ok around them this year.

School’s been fine/better than fine.

Job’s probably the biggest failing. Still with same job, haven’t made the firm moves to jump off, dragging my feet too much on exploring stuff w/ Columbia/NASA GISS.

Did not get better with covid, lol

Dating life still non-existent, but I’ve registered on apps, gotten more comfortable with selfies, improved general social life dramatically, been flirted with, updated my wardrobe, and generally started to get comfortable accepting that I’m a hot person.

Somehow got extremely better during covid.

Books

Grant (finished)

We stan a taurus legend

Guy was good at exactly one job, and was fortunate enough to have been in the right place/right time to get to do it.

Mort (discworld)

Definitely best discworld I’ve gotten to so far.

Don Quixote p. II

Really entertaining in a way that part 1 wasn’t; I was shocked how much the meta element landed for me.

Consider the Lobster (DFW collection)

had zero context on who DFW is/was when I read, and still don’t exactly tbh. Wanted to wait for a pause in The Discourse before diving into more of him, but dunno if I’m ever going to get that.

Crime and Punishment (revisited)

Weirdly didn’t get much more out of this than I did the first time I’d read it

Better Than Sex (HST Gonzo papers)

Xerox/widespread fax accessibility opening citizen access to mass media in a manner really reminiscent of what social media would go on to do at a much larger scale. Has a much more deliberate narrative arc than the other gonzo papers collections, also has that excellent HST richard nixon eulogy

The Brothers Karamazov

SPQR

Slouching Towards Bethlehem (Didion collection)

Pet Sematary

Not my favorite King, but not bad

Sourcery (discworld)

still funny/charming, but Mort really made clear/reminded me how much the hapless sadsack Rincewind mold of protagonist wears on me after a while.

The Devil's Teeth

My Year of Rest and Relaxation

Liked it a lot more once I realized it was doing a Fear and Loathing thing.

Homage to Catalonia

This should be the Orwell that gets taught in schools. Make it a followup to All Quiet on the Western Front or something, jeez.

Lyndon Johnson I

Having now finished all of them, this one’s probably the least-interesting but sets up a bunch of important context that the others still then feel the need to retread.

The Razor's Edge

Recommended to me as a “white guy discovers eastern mysticism” book, but also is more interesting in its treatment of that than I’d expected (helps it was written in the 40s). 

Cat's Cradle

There’s a part in this where Vonnegut’s making fun of people who try to bond with strangers over being Hoosiers, and my dumbass immediate thought was “ooh, Vonnegut’s a hoosier? Me too!”

Lyndon Johnson II

Robert Caro felt compelled to apologize for spending so much words lionizing Coke Stevens, segregationist opponent to Johnson’s senate run. His goal was pretty clearly to show lbj’s lack of campaign charisma by contrast, definitely definitely overcommitted in his own narrativising.

Libra

I want to go back to this after reading some more De Lillo.

Gravity's Rainbow

This book absolutely kicked my ass

Overstuffed and referential in a specific way that really keeps me hooked in instead of put off. When I learn about some piece of cultural context that I retroactively recognize as being referenced in this, I want to go back and reread the entire thing.

From Caligari to Hitler

Kind of fails both as film criticism and cultural analysis, but absolutely made me want to run for the hills when considering current relationship between mainstream movies and demands of pop culture.

I took a class on Weimar cinema in undergrad that I now realize was probably biting pretty heavily from this and never once referenced it.

Movies

Venom

Movie itself is not as fun as the Tom Hardy hype coverage. PG13 was the absolute worst space to aim for, PG- or R- versions of this could have been a blast.

Harryhauser Argonauts

Was tripping when I put this on, and it was all kinds of fun.

2001: a Space Oddyssey

First time seeing this, all-time classic for a reason!

A Good American (the NSA doc)

Dr. Strangelove

Mel Brooks History of the World p. I

Not my favorite Brooks, best joke was at the beginning.

In Bruges

Had been a while since I saw a proper dark comedy.

Spiderverse

Fukkin awesome!

Visually great, and extremely better than usual superhero stuff for being aimed at PG instead of PG-13.

You Only Live Twice

Highlander (Revisited)

I watched The Old Guard on netflix recently and it mostly just made me wish I was watching Highlander instead, because at least Highlander knows exactly how goofy it is

Moonraker

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Much like The Shining, I though this would have been 100% spoiled for me by cultural osmosis, but turns out it wasn’t, and even the scenes I had seen *totally landed* in-context still.

Kung Fu Hustle

Ichi the Killer

Really gross, really fun

Matrix Reloaded (watched thru highway scene) (Revisited)

The highway scene was not nearly as cool as I remembered it being.

John Wick 3*

Probably dumbest plot of all of them, best choreography. I like how every single fight had its own distinct flavor. “Knife museum fight” “horse fight” “halle berry dogs fight” 

Akira

A classic

Pet Sematary * (ugh, bad)

Why can’t john lithgow be in good movies anymore

The Revenant

MCU Spiderman

Fuck this was awful.

MCU Spiderman 2*

Really weird, complete Rorschach Test of a movie: it’d be totally valid to read into this that global warming is Fake News, for instance.

Lmao this was completely awful

Rites

Dredd (non-stallone)

oh hey Lena Headey’s in this

For All Mankind!

Watched in honor of moon landing anniversary

Lion King *

Watched it way too stoned, was like dark side of the moon + wizard of oz except instead it’s a lion king script reading + nature footage edited for lip syncing.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood *

Many scenes of very long setups for really stupid shaggy dog jokes, which sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t. I do kinda want to rewatch now knowing more about manson, which I knew pretty much nothing about beforehand

Blowout

A good john lithgow movie

also I think I like travolta in things.

Lord of War

A Good cage movie

I like when Eamon Walker shows up in stuff.

Taxi Driver

A classic

Snowpiercer

Watched in a bar with only one speaker working, which is the correct way to watch. Weirder and funnier than I thought it was going to be, which still doesn’t make it good, but,

dbz big green dub

Exorcist III

Brad Dourif just tearing it apart

Deep Red (argento)

Suspiria (1977)

Watched the remake in 2020, which was ok, but nothing tops the Goblin score.

Elf Bowling

Thanks, Gnome

Parasite *

Interesting to me that this one seems poised to hang around people’s good esteem for a while

TV

FMA: B

Rick & Morty

Saw some episodes, generally pretty funny, some misanthropy that’s probably appealing to a certain type of teen al a something like House, but ultimately I don’t totally Get the intensity of discourse about it.

Leterkenny

Mob Psycho 100

One Punch Man

Deadwood

Watchmen

Only watched like half of it. Was playing around with a lot of hefty imagery/thematics, but didn’t really seem ready to rise above playing (tho also I feel like it’s weird on some level to *expect* them to rise above that in the first place)

Music

New Avantasia

HEALTH/ show

lol remember concerts

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard/ show

Just learned about King Gizz in 2019 and got completely obsessed with them. I don’t tend to expand my music selection very readily, and a lot of what I currently *do* know is old/inactive stuff, so it was/is incredibly exciting to have an active group with good momentum just immediately win me over like that.

Mistimed the edibles and ended up with a really good finale and a really long subway ride home.

New Yeasayer

Sad they split up

Steve Wilson Tull remixes

Aqualung’s a good album and the sound mixing’s kinda bad, so I liked this project.

Stonefield

Opened for Gizzard. Really good as studying music

Video Games

Civ VI: Gathering Storm

Hades

Turns out Supergiant’s design proclivities all work *extremely well* on a roguelike

Baba is You

Untitled Goose Game

Cute, if maybe a bit overhyped

finally fucking finished Pillars of Eternity

Had fun with it, but too long, and really dour for how long it is.

Pillars II

Kinda drifted off it eventually, but I do genuinely like that the flavor of the fantasy is colonial era rather than medieval.

There’s a Balancing Bastard Factions element where it’s like the writers are just being smartasses after a while. Having to go extremely out of their way to make siding with colonizers seem like a competitive option.

Pokemon shield

Cuphead

pisses me off, which was a nice outlet when I was stranded by flight cancellations during thanksgiving

Celeste

Also very difficult, but really easy to stay patient with, which is nice.

Disco Elysium

None of the discourse made me want to play this, but people talking about the mechanical stuff it did got me extremely interested. Mostly Delivered IMO.

Breath of the Wild

You can approach the nodes of the main quest in the order you choose, and the second one I chose made ninjas start fucking spawning everywhere when I’m just trying to explore, and there’s no way to make it stop. May go back to it one day.

Podcasts

Relentless Picnic Patreon feed

The treats really helped me start distinguishing individual personalities, compared to the regular eps.

Picnic Discord!

<3

FatT Counterweight

Fun, but also I think Mechs are not my shit.

FatT Spring in Hieron/ end of that particular world

8 months since I’ve last tuned into FatT. ah well.

Law School

He’s in everythiiiing!

You Must Remember This: Manson family

*There’s* the context

Misc.

Kindle train guy

Times Square sleeping guy + kids taking selfies w/ him

toddler singing along after Psycho killer (a, ya, ya ya, ya)

drunk and dragged to a drag show

Central park football family

Soft Steel Drum Subway Busker

Weird old lady going to grand central for oysters

2018 in review (cards):

MySelf (CC)

Self: Tower

Blocked: 10 Cups

Ethereal/subconscious: 8 Swords

Material: 3 Swords

Past: Justice

Future: Page Wands

Attitude: Sun

External: King Swords

Hopes/Fears: 5 Coins

Trajectory: High Priestess

Also Self:

Hierophant

7 Cups

7 Coins

Blind Spot:

(self & others): 5 cups    ||    (others not self): High Priestess

(self not others): Moon   ||    (nobody): 3 Cups

[euphoriecs]

11/11/11 tag !!!

thank u sm for tagging me @yikescomma​, @buckaroowrites​ nd @yikeskimi​ !!!

rules: answer 11 questions, write your own 11, tag 11 people !

under the cut bc its a Lotta questions KSKSKSHK

yikescomma’s questions!!

1. what’s your favourite place to write?

oh this is ?? kind of a tough one bc i feel like i never Branched out in my spaces when it comes 2 being productive,, like a lot of my work is done in my bedroom just bc my desk is there and it’s the most convenient,,,, honestly im jus gonna say my favorite place to write would be from . my desk . bc it faces the window :-)

2. which character(s) from your wip(s) is your favourite?

since i only have wtsf confidently worked out ,, i’ll use those ocs !! but i think , quite Honestlie ,,, that wendy is my favorite character !! im rly in love with how she progresses as a person nd also she’s jsut . she gets it u know .

3. what are some inspirations for your wip(s)?

I TALKED ABT THIS BEFORE but b/ts’ hyyh series, my neighborhood, spring day by b/ts are a few inspirations for wtsf !!! 

4. how did you start writing?

my dad got me hooked on reading when i was really really young !! and being able to read abt all these huge worlds nd being given an opportunity 2 fall in love w them rly inspired me to want to write worlds of my own . plus , i watch a lot of different shows nd animes that feed into my daydreams nd sometimes im like ‘yo,,, that was a good daydream,,,,, time 2 story it’ .

5. which of your ocs is most difficult to write?

uHGHHGHGS ARTHUR ...... trying to capture this like . enigmatic feeling while keeping close 2 his reasons for acting That way is actually ,, rly hard?? hes a tough cookie 2 crack but i will crack it .

6. what aesthetic do you associate with your wip(s)?

for wtsf ,,, quiet towns , lonely beaches , sunset nd sunrise ,,, running through the streets ?? 

7. do you like planning?

YEA !! i see it more as like . being able to explore ur wip and what directions it can take nd its also jsut rly helpful to have a solid foundation .

8. what is your favourite quote from your wip(s)?

i pulled this from my drabbles but: “Slow down.” Wendy grabbed Arthur’s wrist, pulling him down to sit on the sand. “This world can’t keep up with you.”

9. do you like to listen to music while you write?

yes and no ?? im very particular to the kind of music im listening to nd more often than not, i write in complete silence ,,, but sometimes i’ll find a song that i feel rly fits the vibe of what im writing nd i just put it on repeat HGSHJK

10. what do you like most about your own writing?

i think i like the descriptive aspects of it ?? like how i describe places nd feelings ,,,, :-) !

11. what are/were/would be your ocs favourite subjects in school?

everyone except piper in wtsf is graduated from high school but ,, wendy liked english class the best bc it was fun nd she got good grades !! rafael definitely loved psychology nd took it at an ap level ,, arthur liked math nd chemistry .. chemistry he liked More bc he got 2 blow stuff up SKKSKSEH and piper likes world history!! tho shes not good at it . but she likes it!!

buckaroowrites’ questions!!

what is your favorite subgenre to write? to read?

i lov urban fantasy and low fantasy JGHDSHGJKS like its my favorite to write nd read bc like .. o heck ?? ghosts nd ghouls nd just overall supernatural stuff irl ?? that’s the way 2 go

if you had to be trapped on a desert island with any of your ocs, who would it be and why?

if i had 2 be trapped on a desert island ...... i’d probably choose rafael . honestlie he just seems like he always knows what’s up nd my chances of survival would increase w him JHGJKSJKS

what is your favorite medium to write?

definitely novels !! its a format i’ve pretty much grown up w and im more comfortable w this medium than any others GHSHJKS but i’d love to explore like ,, screenplays nd see where that takes me

who was your first oc?

HYLLY SHITTTT THIS BRINGS ME BACK SJHJHJGJKS i used to draw a lot back when i was younger nd so i had this oc JHJS his name was ian and he was meant for the maximum ride universe but he was a dumb dude who was 2% cat . nd he had an adopted sister ,, i forgot her name but she was part bird .

what was your first wip about?

world end club is supposed 2 be abt a group of teens who work together 2 take down a corporation that wants 2 essentially control the artificial island they live on thru engineered soldiers . ITS A CONCEPT ,, nd it requires a little Too Much for my one brain cell to think abt

thoughts on shakespeare?

uhhh no thots bc i never read his work in high school i jus know macbeth is cursed .... wow i rly dont know anything abt shakespeare huh .

poetry or prose?

o this is TOUGH i rly adore both .......... im gonna . im gonna go w prose . i lvoe poetry so much sometimes there are lines that just rly fucken punch u in the face but im gonna go w prose bc its familiar !!

would you ever co-write a story?

nO ..... i wouldnt b able 2 compromise i’d jus b like oH ACTUALLY SKSKKS MY IDEA’S DUMB LETS JUST DO URS 

write what you want to write or write what you want to read/watch?

oh . fuc .... i feel like its important to have a good balance of both but . honestlie im very partial to what i want to read/watch ..

do you like to write violence?

i dont Like 2 write it but its In My Wips !

what is your favorite trope?

oH ,, probably ‘fire forged friends’ or like . mutual pining ... i have too many favorite tropes nd somehow im gonna incorporate them all .

yikeskimi’s questions!!

Tell us about the main character(s) in your current WIP!

oKAY SO im gonna try to not make this too long SJKHJGS !! wendy is a very like . prickly character . shes like a cactus . nd she’s not too fond of letting ppl get close, but the ppl who do manage to get close to her are happie 2 learn she would actually die for them . loyalty is a Huge Huge part of her character, and she cares very deeply abt the people she calls family . shes also v sarcastic nd like . ‘open ur eyes dummy’ .

arthur is a kind of person who lives heavily on false pretenses . like he projects this image bc its an image that he can control nd he jsut Rolls w it , but hes actually someone who likes 2 tease his friends nd be friendly to them ,, hes got Issuez nd is very much the type of person to be like ‘o lol im ok :-)...’ nd prioritize the needs of others 

rafael is , in all honesty , just babey . he studied a lot during high school nd rly pushed himself beyond his limits bc he wants to be able 2 go 2 a good college on scholarship nd get a job 2 support his family , nd hes just ?? very responsible nd sweet but that can also manifest into him taking on more than he should nd burning out . 

piper is a very ,, honestlie kinda sad character kjHGJSJ she spends a lot of time just trying 2 appeal to other ppl bc she knows her interest in the supernatural make her a ‘weird’ person nd she wants to be able 2 have real friends ,, but when she learns 2 let go of this she’s very silly nd always making jokes During The Right time ..

Do you have an all time favorite OC? Tell us about them!

hMMMM i dont think i do ??? my memory of my ocs is rly bad JHSJ so more often than not i just ,, rip i dont remember them </3

If you could be best friends with one of your OCs, who would it be and why?

ms piper chaiyathan !!!! shes a very open nd kind individual nd i feel like our humor nd joking style would match V v v well !!!

Last line you’ve written in your WIP?

Wendy, unlike her brothers Adam and Nate, had inherited her father’s rough touch, and that made them both unwanted in the high stakes setting of a diner kitchen.

If you have a chosen title for your WIP, were there any titles you considered before it? And if not, what are some titles you’re thinking of?

when the sun falls went through SO many titles nd i actually have them all here: where the sun goes / fever dreams / above the sun / where the sun follows / the drowned sun ... as u can see the sun was smth i Needed .

What is an important element in the world your WIP takes place in?

uHHHH the supernatural element is . Very important but i cant be too specific about it but i will tell u it involves a dead tree on the beach .

Tell us an out of context spoiler.

arthur gets a cool new set of eyes.

Any power couples/ships in your WIP?

wendy nd arthur babey ,,,,,, bat nd molotov cocktail duo ,,,, last name central until the important moment nd THEN they use each other’s first names ..

Any music you like listening to while you write?

uHHHH specifically for wtsf i listen 2 a lot of hozier, lorde, conan gray, khalid nd halsey :-)

What would your main character(s) favorite song be?

oH okay i got this in the BAG ... wendy’s favorite song would Absolutely be work place by hozier or more than sorrow by a-lin ,,, arthur would definitely b listening 2 like . free spirit by khalid .. piper, since she p much spent all of middle school nd 2 years of high school in thailand ,, i think she’

Which character in your WIP could you relate to the most?

honestly? all of them !!! a lot of the characters in wtsf have little bits nd pieces of me bc thats how all my ocs come into existence nd theres no One character thats like “oh,,, das me”

and here are my 11 questions !!

Which one of your OCs do you think could survive a zombie apocalypse? Why?

What’s something you’ve been itching to write about?

Share the last paragraph you wrote!

Do you prefer coming up with plots or characters? Why?

Do you have any abandoned WIPs? Tell us about them!

What are some favorite themes/tropes to write about?

How do you get into the zone for writing?

Tell us a random fact for any of your OCs !!!

Are you someone who needs a visual for your WIPs?

What are some influences to your writing style?

If you had to be a character in one of your WIPs, which WIP would it be and what role would you play?

i’m gonna tag @babyreeds @holotones @alejandroistyping @noloumna @faerisms @omniawrites @aslanwrites @ashesconstellation @thegrievingyoung @glittcrpeach @syposium !!! no pressure to do it if u dont want to tho <3

#tag game. #AAA this was fun :-) !!!

[girlbookwrm]

ok but why isn’t it called avengers assemble tho

AKA THE GREAT MARVEL REWATCH PART THIS-IS-NOT-AS-GOOD-AS-I-REMEMBER-IT-BEING-WHEN-I-FIRST-SAW-IT

Avengers is a movie that has not aged well for either me or The Roommate (aka @goteamwin) and we had a whole conversation about how at the time it came out we were excited about Avengers, even though neither of us were yet hip-deep in the Marvel fandom. But we were !excited! because !Joss Whedon! and now we are ?disappointed? because ?Joss Whedon?

This movie, in retrospect, might be The Tipping Point of Joss Whedon’s career? like? It contains everything that was Great about his movies but also contains the seeds of his ultimate self-destruction.

ANYWAY ON WITH THE REWATCH, AKA STEVE ROGERS AND THE CUBE THAT WOULDN’T FUCKING DIE

this opening scene is so expositiony and on the one hand at least it doesn’t contain a flashback but on the other hand? it’s bad?? It’s a bad start???

sidenote by The Roommate: so i know that it was recently confirmed that Loki was being mind-controlled in Avengers but also. Was there ever any question about whether Loki was being mind controlled? or am I just That Fangirl

Sidenote to the sidenote, By Me: She is not That Fangirl, but i suspect that she was perilously close to becoming That Fangirl at some point in her past.

oh hey phil’s here

i do appreciate that they’re prioritizing evac. that’s nice attention to a detail that usually does not get addressed.

the line about the tesseract “misbehaving” being followed immediately by a line about the Tesseract “behaving” dRiVeS mE FUCKING B O N K E R S I HATE IT SO MUCH????

anyway

Every once in a while I forget how hot Jeremy Renner is. 

The Roommate: Yeah it sneaks up on ya.

IT’S JUST BAD WRITING? MISBEHAVING AND BEHAVING ARE LITERALLY ANTONYMS.

ANYWAY.

“You have heart” is also maybe kind of bad writing.

We had to pause and rewind to confirm that yup Loki trips there, because he is having A Trouble (at The Roommate’s urging. Perilously close, my good dude.)

Loki like a labrador getting to ride in the back of the truck for the first time. The Smells! The Sights and Sounds!! The Wind In My Hair!!! THE EXPLOSIONS!!!!

Phil says: “what do we do” and I look at my roommate and say: “The dialogue in this movie is.......... not good.”

it’s just so out of keeping with the Professional Military vibe these three have going otherwise? it’s very ooc sounding to my ear??

anyway

I actually really like this scene with the Black Widow and the russians and that’s all i have to say about that.

actually, you  know what really Makes It for me? Phil bopping along to the sound of  Nat beating up bad guys like it’s on hold music. That’s Just Great.

“‘‘“““budapest”‘‘““““‘‘ aka a clip from later in this movie but flipped.

we can’t talk about the brucenat yet that’s for the aou rewatch

“i’m sorry, that was mean” GOD RUFFALO IS SUCH A GOOD BRUCE???

also Natasha is clearly having A Moment whERE ARE MY 8000 METAS ON WHATEVER NAT IS CLEARLY HAVING A FLASHBACK ABOUT

hey it’s these shadowy figures from the shadowy global organization

“it’s won by Soldiers”--transition to--> Steven Grant Rogers this is an A+ transition and it just makes me angrier that we did not get the full Sadsack Steeb scene from the deleted scenes which is EXCELLENT.

SERIOUSLY. THAT’S A GREAT SCENE. I LOB IT.

*steve’s butt comes on screen*

Me: Ohhhhh say can you SEEEEEE

*the flashback happens*

The Roommate: THis is Un. Necessary.

Me, looking at her, knowing that the first time she saw Avengers she had not seen The First Avenger yet: ..............

Me: un necessary? UN? NECESSARY???

has Steve been sleeping at all tho?

“C eLeBRaTingG??” CELEBRATING WHAT, NICHOLAS? ALL HIS FRIENDS ARE DEAD???

“he’s... not from around here.” THAT IS WILDLY OVERSIMPLIFIED.

“Shoulda left it in the ocean.” 

“shoulda maybe left me in the ocean too” *tired old man sounds.*

Tony is. So Neurotic. About Everything. I Lob Him.

I Think the problem is at least partly that some of Joss Whedon’s lines (in this movie especially) are just so transparently set ups for Snappy Comebacks™

Pepper Potts is also equal parts mom and girlfriend and it seems likely that this is exactly why No Kids, Tony.

Oh Phil.

sidenote from me: Phanboy Phil is a perfect example of something that is Unexpected but Not Out Of Character. Joss Whedon loves doing The Unexpected but he’s not always so great at making it Not Out Of Character

“need a little old fashioned” I WOULD LIKE IT KNOWN THAT AT THIS POINT I WAS IN FACT DRINKING AN OLD FASHIONED CHEERS I DRANK TO THAT BRO

To Loki: Hey bro. how u doin? (spoiler alert: Not Great) u let ur hair grow out and i hate it.

MA’AM he calls her MA’AM steve is such a N E R D

sidenote, at this point i had to pause the movie because i was having An Emotion, because Steve is all sadsack talking to Fury and then equally sadsack talking to Phil and then he comes out of the Quinjet like “Ma’am. Dr. Banner. Word Is You Can Find The Cube. Why What A Wonderful Day It Is Here In The Future Golly Gosh I Sure Do Love It A Lot” in his Olde Tyme Radio Announcer Voice.

and it made me s a d

The Roommate: Well of course he’s talking like an olde tyme radio announcer he has anxiety and this is a stressful situation, so he’s using his Please Don’t Hate Me™ Customer Service™ Voice™

*sadness intensifies*

The Roommate: Steven. I know you were in the army but surely even you know that submarines do not have flight crews.

Maria Hill here, assessing Cap’s assets.

I talk (and will continue to talk) a lot of shit about this movie, but it gave us a lot of Really Good Things, and Nerd!Phil is one of those good things.

Cap’s suit is VERY MUCH NOT ON THE LIST OF GOOD THINGS.

Okay i hate to go on about this (no i don’t) 

But at this stage of the movie, the Avengers have only met Captain America. Like, he’s in the spangly suit, he’s got his Customer Service Voice on, his hair is pomaded to kingdom come, he tucks his plaid shirt into his khaki pants

This is Captain America

This is Not Steve Rogers.

None of the avengers have met Steve Rogers yet and that is just so

* S A D N E S S   I N T E N S I F I E S *

Who built this eyeball device? why? where does it come from? how do they get it? why is it like this? IT IS SO! UNNECESSARY??

“you crave subjugation” loki. Loki. LOKI. i feel like you are talking to yourself. this feels like you’re talking about you. just say you’re a bottom, find yourself a nice service top to take care of you and stop making these poor bastards part of your Extra™ Nonsense.

“we ended up disagreeing” said Captain America.

“nOt TOdAY!” OH HEY STEVE IS HERE GOOD TO SEE YOU STEVE.

“FoR an OldER FEllOW???” WHAT AN EXCELLENT TIME TO POINT OUT THAT TONY STARK, AT THE TIME OF THE AVENGERS, IS, LIKE, FORTY TWO. AND STEVEN ROGERS IS, LIKE, TWENTY-SIX.

*lightning happens*

The Roommate: OH YOU GUYS ARE SCREWED NOW

“I have a plan. Attack.” TONY TEDWARD STARK THAT IS NOT A PLAN.

Last Known Instance of Steve Using a Parachute.

Loki: I’m listening.

Me: Thor is already Gone. so that snappy comeback™ is for whomst???

CHILDREN. STOP FIGHTING. GRANDPA IS HERE.

“are we done?” yeah, they’re all just too Manly to say owwwwwww

Upon Rewatching It Is Painfully Obvious that the Producers Had No Idea that the Mind Stone was in the Staff.

“I understood that reference”

I know it’s overused, but it’s still a Golden line

Steve is so proud of himself.

Tony’s eyeroll is Un Paralleled.

God this is such a group project, and they all fit into their roles so well.

Thor: Well Meaning but Entirely Useless Jock

Steve: Neurotic Organizer With No Applicable Skills

Tony: Genius. Would Be MVP If He Could Be Persuaded To Give A Single Shit. Keeps Suggesting They Do Something Else.

Bruce: “uhhhhhhhh i just wanna finish my work here, and--”

Also: No one in this room is wrong, and that is actually pretty good writing, imo.

“I’ve got a cluster of shrapnel...”

Tony.

Honey.

That is not at all the same thing.

Stop comparing those things.

S T O P.

Thor: In my youth--

Me: THOR YOUR YOUTH WAS LIKE TWO MONTHS AGO.

so this scene with Loki and Black Widow feels very Blocked and Staged but that does not stop it from being Very Good, IMO and no I will not be taking input on that assessment, I really like this particular interpretation of the Black Widow.

Steve: Phase 2 is S.H.I.E.L.D. Uses the Cube to make weapons. Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.

HEY LOOK IT’S STEVE!! STEVE THIS IS EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS STEVE.

Fury: BECAUSE OF HIM.

Thor: me????

Me: THOR HAS LITERALLY DONE NOTHING WRONG LEAVE HIM A L O N E

a) clint rly likes that bow move but more importantly b) clint? u ok? does the brainwash gang get naptime? u look like u could use a nap, sweetums.

TONY LAST MOVIE U HAD THAT PACKED IN A SUITCASE WHY IS IT IN A BANK VAULT???

Did Bruce invest in some kind of specialty pant company? like? kickstarter or something?

Steve goes outside like It’s Cool I Don’t Need Air. 

digi steve is VERY DIGI.

let it be known that thor is coming into this VERY BLIND he has LITERALLY NEVER SEEN THE HULK BEFORE. is he just like, internally ???????IS THIS NORMAL FOR HUMANS?????????????????

“It seems to run on some form of electricity.”

AW STEVE’S HERE AGAIN. 

captain sassmerica

Steve does an awful lot of high kicks and i’m pretty sure he learned those on the Star Spangled Circuit

that arrow-in-computer thing is R I D I C U L O U S.

On the one hand, I definitely shipped Clintasha when I first saw this movie, on the other hand, I can totally see a brother/sister “we were raised in the same dysfunctional foster family” dynamic and I do actually like it.

“It’s Barton”

Natasha: *clint???* *HE HAS CHILDREN.* *AUNTIE NAT POWERS ACTIVATE* “this is agent romanoff. I copy.”

OH NO PHIL

do you remember when character deaths had meaning?

good times.

good. times.

sidenote:

The Roommate: I actually really like this Clint/Nat fight scene there’s no monologuing just Real Fighting

Me: Yeah, with Real Hair-Pulling and Real Biting.

*THONK*

Me: And Real Concussions.

LOOK EVEN PHIL KNOWS THAT LOKI IS BEING MIND CONTROLLED SERIOUSLY WHY WAS THIS EVER EVEN A QUESTION

god it’s so sad that phil is like “no this is fine. it’s cool. we all know that someone has to die in order for them to stop fighting like children.”

let. phil. clock. out.

Tony Stark: I Am Very Dramatically Leaving.

“old fashioned” NICK THAT IS R U D E. YOU K N O W WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO STEVE HERE.

“big and green and buck ass nude” THIS GUY. I LOVE THIS GUY.

what is this insta filter.

“cognitivive recalibration” becomes a meme in shield. like, that butterfly meme but the guy is saying “IS THIS COGNITIVE RECALIBRATION” and on the Butterfly it just says TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY.

Possibly The First Ever Steve Rogers Door Lean Scene™

The Roommate: The subtext that I got, from this scene, the first time I watched it, was that those cards belonged to Nick. Like, Nick had his own vintage set in near mint condition that he bloodied up

I just think it’s adorable that that’s where her brain went with that information. it’s nice. it must be nice for her.

Dear Dr. Selvig: Should You be gendering the Tesseract?

JESUS DID THEY DIP LOKI’S HEAD IN ELMER’S GLUE? IT’S SO GROSS AND GREASY??

“We’re damn sure going to avenge it” 

The Roommate: That’s not a good tagline.

Me: In their defense, it’s not a great name, and they were kinda stuck with it by this point

tony’s dead, these people are dead, maria’s dead from that grenade she caught earlier everyone is dead dead dead dead dead

The chitauri mean. Nothing. to anyone. and they don’t mean anything until Infinity War roles around, you know? that just. sticks in my head.

“did you stop for drive through??” YES. YES THEY DID. THERE WERE NO MEALS IN THE BRAINWASH GANG AND STEVE WON’T SHARE HIS THIGH ZIPPER SNACKS.

is it madness? Is It?? IS IT???

Peggy’s reincarnated husband???

“As a team” STEVEN GRANT ROGERS THAT IS NOT A PLAN.

bruce’s motorcycle: Puttputtputtputtputtputtputtputt

Nat and Cap are so in sync? It’s almost like they were trained by the same person?? But Where Could Natasha Have Learned How To Fight Side By Side With Someone Who Had Gotten The Superserum??? W I L D??????????

“And he didn’t invite me?” It’s ok tony u don’t invite him to civil war so.

Hulk And The Marvelous Wonderful Yes Good Very Smash Day.

he’s just having so much fun?

The Roommate: Steve in this suit is very Adam West Batman

Me: Tiny Turtle of Freedom!!

The Roommate: Yeah especially when he does that.

Clint: Nat whAT ARE YOU DOING??

Me: HER BEST

Jarvis is so tired. “IT’S THE SAME THICKNESS FROM THE INSIDE AS FROM THE OUTSIDE SIR.”

the SHIELD pilot here is very chilled out for a man about to commit mass murder.

“What, are you getting sleepy?”

aw steve’s here!

The Roommate: Pepper Potts’ superpower is saying no and calling the authorities. Her kryptonite is phone calls.

#accurate

no shawarma for you, loki

pooter!

“where are the Avengers?” TAKING A DAMN NAP. THEY’VE EARNED IT.

god that shot with the tesseract STEVE’S FACE JESUS CHRIST.

steve wear a helmet.

“...is to court death”

Thanos: *grins*

Me: IT IS SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS THAT THEY DID NOT KNOW HOW THEY WERE GOING TO DEVELOP THANOS. LIKE THIS IS A CLEAR FORESHADOW OF THE THANOS/DEATH SHIP AND THAT! DOES! NOT! HAPPEN!

om nom nom nom nom nom 

(ps yes we did eat shawarma whilst watching this movie because of course we did)

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch #mcu #avengers #iron man #captain america

[bkanvas-fairy]

Could you tell us a little about your characters?

Y E S !

but due to me having at least over a thousand characters I’ll just give a quick summary of the 25 I manage to dig up over 3 sketchbooks.

Y’all can pick and choose which of them interest yall or who you wanna hear more about!

Also because I’m extra, I made sketch icons for the 25 characters, info under the cut

I’ll talk a bit more about my actual Original Characters first, starting with

Aiko! Otherwise known as Echo

- A marked individual in a steampunk world that gets mixed with magic, because I like both of those things

- Echo runs an underground lab that does helps the underground world with replacing body parts, illegal surgeries etc etc

- Even though she marked, which puts a bounty on her head already, she is well respected by the community for not cheating for your money, stealing your cash, or shanking/killing you mid-surgery

- however, Echo does long for adventure and sometimes do get bored in the lab

oh yeah,, Echo like stealing eyeballs, so if you’re low on cash and wouldn’t mind losing an eye, you know who to call!!

Bonus:

Here’s Echo’s boring, undeveloped sidekick!! I don’t like her and I don’t know how to make her better. Yes, she doesn’t have a name.

here’s my god playboy that left “heaven” due to having an early mid-life crisis, I call him God boi cause;

- He goes by many names! 

tbh, he’s probably the closest character I have to being genderfluid/-neutral? I’m not sure,,

- The god has many powers, from lightning to shapeshifting

- The shapeshifting part allows him to change every part of himself, allowing him to change depending on his situation.

- God boyo, or originally Aristide, is obsessed with the idea of perfection. A god should be perfect, if a god is out of line, he is no god. 

- Same goes for him, which means whenever something is wrong with him, it affects him, extremely

However, leaving the land of gods to live among humans aren’t all perks

- Aris isn’t immune to diseases or injuries. In fact, he actually fell down and died on impact when he came to earth, being reborn into another child immediately.

- He doesn’t gain his memories back automatically tho!! He has to have a major shock to the brain in order for him to remember his previous lives

- Sometimes the shock isn’t enough either, when you have a thousand over lives, you won’t remember every single one of them. So forgotten lovers coming back to haunt because your brain hates you? That’s everyday for him!

i just,, i like playing with the concepts of god,,

Up next we got Ayeka Himura! A japanese student going to a neighborhood, but still a pretty good, school living close to poverty due to her father’s constant spending habits and obsession with art supplies. With the household lacking a mother due to wacky shenanigans, Ayeka takes care of her two younger siblings and the house, all while maintaining a very well-paid job and slowly loosing interest in actually studying for a good, honest job.

also she likes birds!!

Yes her design is heavily “based” off Toga but I love her current design too much to change it, h e l p

So like,, I suck at chinese and I made ocs that exclusively spoke in chinese to help with that but I’m still stuck at 40~marks

I forgot his scar but remembered his earring i hate myself

my og chinese kiddo! he was was first to come and I love his design ever since

he radiates fuck you energy except the girl below. He’s neighbors with her and they acknowledge each other existence ever since. he has a dumb cliche crush on her and is a bit protective of her because nothing says having issues than latching onto someone that makes you happy

Only this girl got named!! even tho she was the second character.

Li Shen, yes she doesnt have a surname, is apparently main ho now, according to my old oc chart of my “main” ocs

She’s the group’s resident sweetheart and really does not want you to do stupid shit, stop doing stupid shit. She tutors my son up there ^^ even though he’s actually smart and just refuses to do his work properly. But she still deeply cares for him.

As well as the girl below shdifhd

the last girl of the ching chong trio and the reason I had to switch up my son’s design is this girly over here! Her design was too business-y and formal so I enrolled all of them into college. A rich girl who doesn’t know how to deal with her g a y thoughts. Tried sending Li Shen some flowers once. She didn’t realize attaching her name would be a good idea and son got a good laugh.

i like paranormal stuff so they apparently look into that shit in their spare time. They’re all actually really fun characters to do prompts with I swear!! send some in and I’ll write them

I had a previous concept for son and Li Shen before last girl came and if yall want me to talk about it,,, i found my sketchbook with the old ideas,,

NEXT UP IS MY OLD GIRL ELORA!!

Elora herself used to be a fan character but I pulled her out and wow\

cant fucking believe she used to be straight for Vylad

shes the outgoing, fun adventure type! bit of mommy issues here and there tho,, I don’t want to say too much since I have an entire for her +

her now upgraded bro, Vincent

i really like the name vincent,,

also now he has mommy issues

Ead, the knight who used to have armor

I hate drawing armor 

he also have issues

AND IRIS MY SWEET GIRL IM SO SORRY

she doesnt have that much issues tho

basically I made elora and her bro have mommy issues, I’m sorry in advance if that spoils anything

I, sometimes, post about these 4 over on @eloradiesismydocsname​ and its a gay ol’ time

not that gay tho because uhh,, medieval times,, but I need prompts for a modern au of them and I am happy to talk about their personalities and even go semi in-depth for any of them!!

here we have ghoster.png,, which is her file name cause I didn’t name her,,

A horror enthusiast + film student that goes to a supposedly haunted shack to film her upcoming project with the boys. wacky shenanigans occur and the boys left leaving ghoster here to starve and eventually fall to her death. But because it’s my oc i get to bring her back from the dead, now hungry as ever and will fucking eat you, its not a kink thing, shes just that hungry and angry

tax fraud.png

a robo girl that i created during social studies cause they were talking about taxes and i just went, “what if,, a robo runs on taxes,,, and like,, she haunts you down for not paying your taxes,,” thus she was born! I don’t know what to name her but she is set in the future so-

Time to go future-apocalypse style because I love that setting too and was upset that I didn’t have any ocs in that style. So I created Alex A. ! A cybrog filled with memories of the previous generations as a sad attempt to preserve human life.

He’s accompanied by his sister/cousin idr i didn’t draw an icon for her, didnt like her design. they go on a hunt for food and to return with nothing. She gets to meet this other dude who has a plant arm im pretty sure i based him off someone’s elses oc but i cant remember. The 3 are forgotten. Kinda want to bring them back tho.

Neon! A character set in the future utopia of lazy people, where gamers rise up. its the best I can describe her story without getting too deep. She the new hacker on the block, joining the underground gang of elite hackers. She’s another one of those wacky characters that just has fun. I mean, when you know your way around codes and the world you live in is full of it, would you not take advantage of that?

as for fan characters,, uhh,, i have em

STARTING WITH MY WIFE!

Alexzandra Zara oh my god i forgot to draw her necklace and shirt

anyways,, Alexzandra is one of the more older ocs I have that didnt get a big revamp. Only an au I develop to the point I forgot the actual shows and the original cast are a little different from the source haha what? She’s the emotionally unstable german war veteran, yes the wife thing isn’t mutual, and haha shes only 27~. I cling onto her so much?? She’s hits a lot of “edgy” points but I still love her cause idk,, the story I made for her is something I hold dear cause Alexzandra was one of my first ACTUALLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER. Is it wrong to say I hold her really close to my heart? Is that weird? probably a little cringy sorry haha. I probably project a little into her which might have strengthened my love for her ack. Her story delves more into the depression very unstable needs to talk to someone side and i get scared talking about my wife’s story online so uhh, idk ask me specific questions about her, I’ll be more inclined to talk.

Dr Watts! The spoiled ass dick that stole dst Wilson’s house and yes this is a dst oc, yes im slightly sorry.

He’s just fun?? almost ran a blog with him and a friend’s oc. He’s your typical uptight old science gramps that took advantage of the fact that no one knows his real name that he calls himself a doc. He’s not. I put everything about him up to a 9-10? He’s one of those wacky characters and I love him for it! His story is really wonky tho so might need help solidifying that part 

and from the angry old man to my sweet man that will adopt you even if you’re noisy or call him ginger. Pilot here is a TF2 OC I made to interact with other tf2 OCs cause some of them are fun and i wanna join in :((

He’s the Canadian stereotype, and yes, he adopted scout, that was one of my character notes. 

Like the actual cast of tf2, there’s barely any real story to him. I only gave him a vague I don’t know my past but hey, i fly really really well. He participated in war unlike certain men but he’s still really nice and will only kill you if you hurt his family. Which he doesn’t know so he just considers the cast his family. He keeps mentioning a wife though, pretty sure he doesn’t have one but you do what makes you happy son.

Ai! an oc I HEAVILY revamped oh my god i hate her old vers. So if yall remember my random shouting of missing my og son, Aru. Here’s his bff. cause he barely has any actual friends that give a shit. And I just cant have that. but here’s your yandere revamped into a last minute addition. I actually feel like I did Ai a lot of justice. I don’t want to delve too deep cause I will start making charts. I’ll do that in a separate post if yall are keen

Isamu Aena! a mp100 oc I made by accident cause idk,, I was thinking about lolita fashion and all of a sudden, the actual oc I was going to make turned into a mob psycho oc. She’s one of my few ocs where her sexuality matters (she’s gay yeah) cause it plays a role in her storyline. She went from being “manipulated”/used to Mob’s wingwomen. She spots out things that can help him in the romantic department cause she’s into romance. A student of the school Mob infiltrated and a fantastic tailor, not to mention a pretty decent pyschic. wait where do models get their lolita stuff from,,

im gonna ignore that and move onto Lillian Yi! Who, i swear i did not meant for it, is very close to lloyd. I mean,, none of the ninjas were with him after s3, who you think he’d meet. Lillian is a survivor from the Great Devourour and yes I’m still pissed LEGO stole my backstory for Lillian to use for Harumi. FUCK YOU LEGO, i still love both of em tho,, The event did leave a big scar and it made Lillian job jumping for a bit, ending at Chen’s Noodles in S6~, where ya know,, stuff got better. She was a medalist for gymnastics and continue the activity, even after her parents’ death, to please others. She was already lost at the time so staying in the sport would help, right? Needless to say, after being rejected at a cop academy for youths, or something similar, she gave up for a while but got back into the idea of saving people by using her skills she already had. It helped with the weight and feelings and meeting the green ninja was a very big bonus. Also Lloyd dubbed her the “mysterious stranger” when she refused to speak in fear of her identity, slight shame, and maybe a bit of being star struck. It helped Lloyd too in a sense where he had something to distract him from Zane’s passing.

 Their relationship was eventually formed, strong and almost unbreakable, except for harumi but uhh thats a different story. Throughout the seasons, they stayed close and lloyd was always comforted by Lillian went times get ruff.

Also Lillian is my most light-hearted characters and I think that says a lot

Then there’s Nite “I don’t want to be your dad”. A character that is supposed to be in the ninjago world but barely interacts with the main story and only stays in his self contained plot. He was supposed to get a bf but uhhh idk. He’s the master of shifting and streams that online, taking out small crimes, and is actually really shy and doesn’t like interacting with people.

also haha fortnite

Nora Akino, the sin of despair! its an ad thing, I think. She speaks only in a foreign language that only Odin understands and is either big gay for Ava or Maggi, she can’t pick. And yes she did drink the vial, when TITAN attacks your planet and you accidentally die, how else can you meet your family again? also my grandpa walked in and said she looks like royalty. cool-

she wouldn’t leave my hand for like,, 3 days or something

Petri, a fellow troublemaker at camp campbell’s music camp. She managed to pick the camp because apparently a parent who doesn’t acknowledge your hard work don’t read the fine print! Please let David adopt her,,

LASTLY! Yukimaru Atsuko, hero name; Gummie. She goes by Yuki and is a big dick. She’s a studious student but gets more thrills on the actual battlefield. Living with her uptight grandma and her big bottom energy bro, she has the dom energy thing going. and apparently folks on G+, or the people who comment about her, thinks she’s really pretty, which was oddly a thing back before UA. She’s the dick you can like, not like Bakugou but she will definitely want to fight Bakugou. 

A gum-related quirk is not full of perks when its only your hands. I’d dive more into her like her insecurities and stuff but I’ve been here for probably 3hrs. Sorry anon.

Also I’m so sorry to anyone who reads this all the way through.

#not an ask #bkanvas' ocs #ocs

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

#ask #this was hella long #but also hella fun

[assholemurphy]

i am incredibly sad that i only have like, 1 extra adderall left (i may have to find somewhere to buy more from, since i only get like, enough for the month with my prescription, the only reason i had extras this month is bc it took a week for me to be able to get my prescription filled, so i literally had to go a week w/o adderall and i don’t wanna do that again, ever, it was hell, esp bc i ran out of sudafed, too, that week) bc holy fucking shit am i awake. i’m getting so much done. i took a shower and then highlighted all of the units in my script, which is usually hard to focus on bc it’s so dull, and i got another 15 units done, so i’ve only got like 30 left and i’m still wide awake and focused AF. like, i’m p sure that colors have smells, but also, like, the world is so intense and amazing. i feel fucking fantastic. i kinda wanna go skydiving, but like, not until i get my hw done, ya know?

but i’ve got 30 more units to do, then i’ve gotta make a graph, but after that, i’m done with the project and can move on. depending on how i feel/what time it is when i get that done (bc if it’s past 3:30/4a, i can’t sleep, i’ve got to stay up bc if not, i won’t wake up in time for class, but also, if i still feel this awake, then there’s rly no point to sleeping bc i won’t be able to, anyway) i might sleep, or i might start working on my playwriting assignment (bc that’s due mon @ 2p and i’ve got to write 6 1-min monologues for my characters) and watch the first 30min of shrek: the musical (bc i gotta have that done by fri @ 9a bc we’re watching it in class and that’s where we’re picking up at since the audio wouldn’t work in class, so it’s hw to watch the first 30 of it, but we can watch all of it, if we want, idk if i will, i’ve got too much to do and if i watch all of it, then there’ll be no point of going to class bc i hate rewatching things bc i’ve got a damn near eidetic memory for movies/books and certain other things, depending on how much i’m paying attention, but almost always books/movies unless i find them boring and don’t care abt them, so it would be stupid to watch all of it and then be bored in class), then maybe read some of after the fall (the script i’m pulling my monologue from for acting i) and do the assignment that goes with that (bc it’s due tues @ 9:30a). after that i should do my therapy hw (we’re still working on stuck points and i’ve got like, 5 more sheets, maybe more, to fill out) bc that’ll be due at my next counselling appt, which i think is next week, i’ll have to call them, but it’ll take abt an hour and it’ll emotionally drain me.

i think that’s abt it for hw, tho, but all of that’ll take roughly 9 hours, which means i def won’t be able to do it all tonight, but i can get most of it done if i don’t sleep, which means i’ll have more time for sleep/writing/literally everything else on the weekend. i might even be lucky enough to be able to get drunk. maybe. i’d have to start drinking at like, 3p and stop at like, 6p for it to all be out of my system so i can get to bed by 2/3a. so that’s a maybe. but a nice maybe.

ofc, i’ve got non hw stuff to do, too. i’ve got to make a list of roommate requirements so i can start looking for a new one (i’ve also got to talk to goldilocks to see when she plans to move out, bc like hell am i moving out, all the bills except her half of the lease are in my name and most of the furniture (aside from her personal stuff and the coffee table) is mine and i don’t want to have to move ALL of it out and into a new place, plus it’s her decision to not be roommates, so it’s on her, not me, and i won’t budge, not this time). then i’ve got to get my study/organization binder made so things’ll be easier to keep track of. i’ve got to do some cleaning (taking out the trash, cleaning up my side of the living room (we didn’t divide it, it’s just where the couches are so we stick to our couches most of the time) and the coffee table). then laundry, gotta do laundry, i’m almost out of socks.

ofc, i might have to start on my part of the second part of the group project. i wanna design costumes for the play, if neither of the others is doing that, which i hope they aren’t, bc i don’t know enough abt any of the other elements of production to do something else. but if i have to, i can try to do sound, maybe, that’s my second choice. so, i may have to start on that this weekend. i’ll talk to hurricane bianca and tim the toolman taylor and see what they’re doing for it probs on fri if not tomorrow at rehearsal. then i can start on my part and get it finished ahead of time to prove i’m capable, when i’ve got my shit together and am not having a breakdown every week. then, after i talk to prof j abt what i’m supposed to do for the show (something with finding times for freeze frames and spotlights, which is fun, but i’m worried my comdic timing isn’t the same as everyone else’s bc i’m autistic, so my sense of humor is a bit skewed, ya know? but anyway, prof j specifically told goldilocks (who is stage manager, i’m one of two assistant stage managers) to have me do it, so i’m afraid i’m being set up to fail bc i know nothing abt theatre, rly, and i’m always paranoid abt these things, but i’m also kinda thinking it might be bc she actually thinks i can do it, which sounds unrealistic, but she’s not a mean person, so i’m willing to bet it’s that one. but i need to ask her what all she needs me to do, bc goldilocks has no clue, which was so fucking helpful, what a great stage manager she is (no, srsly, idk if i bitched abt this earlier or not, but she’s absolutely horrible at this shit so far and i can’t stand working under her bc i hate working under incompetent ppl bc i feel it makes me look incompetent, too, if the job isn’t done right, even if it’s not my fault bc i wasn’t in charge and i’m always, always terrified to look stupid or incapable in the eyes of others). so, i’ve got to ask prof j abt what all i need to do bc i’m p sure the advice given to me by the lighting tech (who is apparently a decent stage manager, tho i doubt it, truly, she doesn’t have the personality for it, she’s too pushy and it makes her hard to work with, but that might just be bc i don’t like her as a person, so i’m reserving judgement until i see her in the position) is wrong bc it makes no sense, is way too hard, doesn’t actually help with anything and gives me a headache (bc mapping out the goddamn blocking is impossible when the actors do diff things every fucking night, wtf??? do the same shit, you assholes! but it’s also useless bc it doesn’t tell anyone where the spotlights/freeze frames should be, and blocking isn’t my job, it’s the other asm’s (who i don’t have a nickname for, but will probs have before the end of rehearsal) so why she’s not doing it, idk???) so i’ll ask tomorrow.

so, i’m looking at 9 hours hw now, then 30 min of cleaning, 3 hours of other paperwork shit, and potentially 4 hours of hw and 2 hours of theatre stuff this weekend. which means i can get at least 10 hours of sleep per night and get some writing done, if i finish most of my hw now. i think that’s worth one sleepless night. it rly is. so, here’s to hoping for at least one day off this week.

but if i don’t sleep, i’ll probs crash after rehearsal tomorrow night, unless i can convince my friends to come over and hang out, since they won’t be here this weekend and i kinda need their help making the roommate requirement list bc otherwise it’s just gonna be like ‘can’t leave time on the microwave after they’re done using it’ and ‘must know how to use headphones when others are studying in the living room’ and ‘must not whine when i want to stay in my room and do work instead of being around them 24/7′ (tho, goldilocks doesn’t spend much time with me anymore, which is fine, i guess, but it’s a complete 180 from what she used to do and honestly, i’m offended bc i caved and started staying in the living room and now it just feels weird not being in the living room and idk what to do abt any of this). i need real things, too, like, big concerns that i’ll forget abt when writing it, and i need to know if my requirements are petty or things that aren’t specific to most ppl, just goldilocks. and it’d be nice to hang out with them and shit.

anyway, this is rly long and rambly, but i rly need to vent all of this shit somewhere, it helps me sort my brain out. i don’t actually expect anyone to read it and you can always blacklist my personal tag ‘iz says stuff’ if you don’t want this shit on your dash. but if you do read them, then you’re always welcome to come to my inbox and be like ‘quit bitching and get back to work, dumbass’ or something. 

#text #long post #iz says stuff #i'm gonna get back to work now #after i make a to do list (on paper not on tumblr) #so i can keep track of what i need to do #and then i'm gonna update my planner with what i need to do tomorrow #but then it's back to the units #after i take some fucking ibuprofen for my migraine (idk where my migraine meds are but i might be able to find them tonight) #bc it's coming back with a vengence #i think they're from not sleeping and from stress #i used to get them all the time #some of them were so bad i had to go to the emergency room #i hope they don't get that bad again #it would rly fucking suck bc i don't have a car/can't drive with a migraine anyway and i don't have the money for the emergency room #i think i'll talk to my dr abt it tomorrow #if i can remember to

[antiiva]

tagged by @aizawashoutah, @shitabukenjirou, and @foxyena !! thank u guys so much~

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hajime = haji, iwaizumi = iwa, haji + iwa = hajiiwa~ i love my mans but not many people understand my username 

(the rest will go under the cut!)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

huh, well

FMK technically has the most hits and kudos (something i am a little disgruntled about, seeing as it was not a fic i worked very hard on), only fools has the most comments, kaminari is a schemer has the most bookmarks, and of fountains and flowers has the most subscriptions so idk what to tell you. i wish ofaf had more recognition bcos i’ve worked hard on it rip

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s kuroo!! and i just chose it bc i Love him and it was an icon i made that i sorta liked so

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yes and i love them all!! seeing names that consistently pop up in my kudos/comments section really warms my heart <33 i’ve made good friends that way tbh

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

uhh there are many that i like to go back and read, mainly by my fav authors that i’m subscribed to

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

bookmarked: 53 subscribed: honestly, i... don’t really subscribe to works? i’m subscribed to 8 authors tho

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

oooh, probably... medieval aus or domestic magic aus? and slice of life

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Subscriptions: 80 (rip, i didn’t know if u meant user subs or work subs so i combined and it’s still a tiny number) Bookmarked: 203

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

umm... i don’t think so? 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

finishing current projects before taking on new ones, avoiding burnout, the usual

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

well i’ll go based on haikyuu since those works take up the majority-- iwaoi is set firmly in first place based on number of works followed by bokuroo, both of which are fairly popular so i’d say that i lean more toward the bigger ships but i also have works for kurooiwa, iwaaka, tengoshi, etc

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

22! that number fluctuates a ton because i’m very impulsive and if a fic doesn’t receive the recognition i feel it deserves/i no longer like it/etc i take it down

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

that i have yet to publish? too many.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i normally keep them in my head, unless i think they’ll turn into something bigger and then i’ll jot them down!

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yeeet~ @frenchibi have plans to tho. i have tried to co-author in the past but it mever worked out

16. How did you discover AO3?

when i graduated from using wattpad,, fun fact, there is so much smut on there that i legitimately thought ao3 was just used to write porn. i was both horrified and confused

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lol

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

no...? this question assumes that i would be Popular (honestly do fanfic writers even have “fandom names” for their readers?? im)

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

not really, no. i stated writing fanfics when i was really young on my own, unprompted, and i’ve met other authors through that medium that have helped me?

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

interact with other writers! i know it seems daunting, but leave comments, go to spaces where you will find other writers, participate in events-- there are few feelings more satisfying than seeing familiar names pop up, either in your notifications or in a group you’re in. most of the time, they’re all very kind and you won’t regret letting them into your life!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot out almost always, though this sort of bites me in the ass. it bores me when i’m writing to already “know” what’s going to happen and that’s why i lose steam. it’s weird

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

sort of. i write a lot of angst and i’ve gotten quite a few “fuck you author” comments-- most of the time they’re paired with “for making me feel these feelings” or “for writing something so sad” or some shit but i don’t appreciate that bc, like, fuck you too? i’m sorry that you felt the need to cuss me out?? i tag pretty liberally and if you felt that you couldn’t handle the topic i was writing about then you shouldn’t have clicked

unless it’s, like-- a friend or regular going “fffuCK YOU AHHH” which HAS happened and makes me snicker lmao

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

huh. i’m trying to become more proficient in the Big Three (smut, angst, and fluff) and thus far i’ve got one of three down p good. but specific scenes i have trouble writing would have to be scenes in which i have zero experience and pretty much have to improvise-- it helps me grow as a writer, ig, but it’s just frustrating

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

the rest of the writers’ inktober prompts

a fic wars piece with @frenchibi

a post breakup iwaoi

of fountains and flowers final chapter

a handful of voltron fics, 4 of them sheith

alien!iwaizumi

maaaany half-abandoned drafts

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

YES AND IT IS TERRIBLE SOMEONE STOP ME

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

nah. motivation is fickle and i don’t want to make writing a chore. writer’s inktober was hard enough (it’s december and i am still not done :,)

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

considering i started on wattpad, yes lmao. i’d like to think that i have since i’ve been on ao3 but hahjajhjkh

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i reeeeally liked writing a bit of magic is key and three’s a crowd because they were both humorous domestic magic aus~ but i’ve liked most things i’ve written tbh. also, obviously, of fountains and flowers.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

that i’ve posted? i honestly don’t know. maybe you can be so stupid sometimes because i was just starting to write iwaoi and i now hate the way i portrayed them, not to mention that this dumb little fic has more kudos than my recent stuff and i just *clenches fist* don’t think it deserves that

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

not sure. maybe i’ll have ofaf finished by then hahah,, but really i don’t know. writing is a tool but fanfic writing is just a hobby

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

i’m pretty good at writing emotionally charged situations. also dialogue, i find banter or long back-and-forth conversations fairly easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

transitions, justification of characters’ actions. the hardest thing writing-related would be fighting through envy and feelings of inadequacy but i experience the former plenty anyway rip

33. Why do you write?

i write because i enjoy it-- i love creating my own worlds, interacting with other writers, living vicariously through my characters

well, that was fun! i’ll tag @frenchibi, @astersandstuffs, @minyardxva, @josai

#i would tag more but i am Lazy #and i have a billion tags to catch up on #tagged #thank u three btw!

[podcastmecaptain]

ars PLACEMENT: helen

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today’s, @podcastmecaptain especially. 

click here for the au masterpost | track _#ars placement_ for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

helen is grace incarnate.

she is human. but if god was a human, this is what she’d be.

helen is very confident in everything about herself

very aware of how she’s viewed and doesn’t act like she cares but she’ll definitely bring it up to you

probably takes a little bit more of it than she should because she has the grace of saint sebastian

and then she BITES BACK AND IT WILL SLAUGHTER YOU BECAUSE SHE WILL DO IT WITH THE VENGEANCE AND CASUALNESS OF HERA

“phenomenal woman-

that’s me.”

helen figured it out pretty early

she was one of those rare kids who transitioned really young and got a lot of support

she started hormone blockers around twelve but she was pretty much “I am a princess now.” around eight

helen’s parents are like “k so we ended up with divinity for a child, so"

HELEN’S PARENTS ADORE HER

(they pay for her transition because they’re good parents who don’t make their child pay for medical procedures)

(she supplements it with her gigs tho)

she used to be in the children’s sunday choir and the only thing she’s sad about is having to leave that group but she found a KID’S JAZZ GROUP

she still volunteers there on the weekends

she doesn’t have much of an interest in teaching in her future but she does like guiding the kids from the sidelines and demonstrating pitch and posture for them

the only time anthony’s workaholic ass has ever thought about children is when watching her with them and he gets super embarrassed about it and never brings it up

speaking of she has perfect queen’s posture and anthony slumps out of habit of bending over his notes in coffee shops and she’s always doing that thing where she pokes a knuckle into the middle of his shoulder blades to get him to jolt up straight, it’s practically a greeting at this point

helen, out of habit or affirmation, not because she thinks her parents doubt her

says “still a girl!” every time she blows her candles out on her birthday

everyone present whoops happily

on her SEVENTEENTH

YOU BET YOUR ASS SHE GIVES A KARAOKE ABBA PERFORMANCE

SHE IS THE DANCING QUEEN

YOUNG AND SWEET

ONLY SEVENTEEN

OH YEAAAH

on her eighteenth though she stands up after the candles

and announces triumphantly

“today!

I am a WOMAN!”

the resounding cheer rattles the windowpanes.

helen figures out the poly thing the latest

she is with both anthony and, of all people, and of course, june barlow

helen’s got love in spades to give

anthony, his story is further down

now, june

helen and june sip lemon spritzers by fountains and judge passerby together but helen is much more sweet about it and june is just like “look at that hunty with the denim on denim and the ‘may i speak to the manager’ haircut screeching like some kinda bug into her fucking samsung ugH”

then they talk about how men are pigs and how the IMF has failed the world

because those girlfriends are viciously anti capitalist/anti war

they hold hands while talking about dreams for the world

and also hold hands while talking about crushing those who wrong them under their heels

june is a ball of sparks and red eyes

and helen can understand a bit of this

helen is sweet and elegant and so  kind that she’ll give you more patience than you deserve

but she’s also passionately righteous. and not in the surfer dude way. the moral code of a damn justice fury.

helen has a lot of Greece in her, its in the name and in her being

if she realizes something is wrong there will be hell to pay.

helen is something else.

she is gentle and she doesn’t stop until she’s content, she won’t SIT DOWN and let someone else be responsible for the world she sees

if she wants something CHANGED she gets up and won’t be subdued until she has reached the culmination at all costs, no matter how long it takes. she doesn’t let go of something she disagrees with, won’t leave something she doesn’t like

helen is elegance but she is also a goddamn rottweiler? she will clamp her jaws on what she sees as wrong or even just disquieting and won’t let go until it’s collapsed enough that she can destroy it or fix it

and the thing is june changes that. june, angry bitter snarling june, not through sweetness or a delicate hand but through just being her, lets her accept that. okay. this is flawed. but i’m FINE with it. all things are flawed. you can let life be human, work to change it, don’t let go of your passion for compassion, but expand that compassion to include “this can breathe”

june is DEEPLY flawed. no shit. but she’s working on it constantly. she won’t change herself, she crosses line without a lot of regard, and she matches helen in having no lenience. but her response is immediate and harsh.

she lets herself have love, for quentin, for helen, for herself, to get excited and get passionate and know that EVERYTHING has something wrong with it, and you can CHANGE that but you will wind up making mistakes while you change it

and you can’t accept other’s flaws without acknowledging your own

(this logic adds to the strange, begrudging half friendship anthony and june will neither admit exists)

so helen and her can see what happens with this, in each other, and reflect on it. they both respond well to the other and work together in when to bare their teeth and why, but they can relax with someone else on their side.

and see what they need to change in themselves as much as the world, and be okay with that

sometimes they talk about the colors they find in people

in helen, june finds soft sage, warm rich brown

helen sees magenta in june, and faint traces of yellow (or teal? or royal blue?) its debatable, what the end result is, but whatever it is,

she burns bright.

and that is june to helen.

helen did some casual exploratory stuff the early years, late middle school, freshman-sophomore year

she gets her shit together pretty quick and then a like OK noW i can be more serious about it instead of poking, not that it meant nothing but now i know what i’m about and can do it responsibly

because she’s not sciencey but she’s sure as hell sharp in matters of the heart

she considered becoming a social worker at one point but she knows she has a problem with taking on project problem people when it’s not her job and she doesn’t want that to BE her job, because she knows she’d wind up on tough cases, and her passion is music and song anyway

that was more of a “hey your counselor thinks you should logically check this path”

but she realizes people don’t seem to realize that seemingly further reaching dreams are work too, and often take more dedication and spirit and responsibility than settling for what people THINK you should do for money, even though she certainly thinks higher of that work than that, she knows why she was recommended it and she knows what she wants

helen knows the importance of dreams. of that you shouldn’t have to be settling for less.

sometimes she does. but no one can achieve the level helen OWNS. let’s be realistic.

her hands are soft and loving but her nails are short and a little sharp

(anthony paints them for her)

(mostly metallics)

(occasionally little smudgey flowers)

helen doesn’t cry a lot but lets herself cry over things that matter. a lot of things matter, but she’s very good at sorting out what she doesn’t want to fret over

it’s a healthy cry, for all emotions

helen gets emotional about events but cries mostly over people

good people, people important to her

specifically

her parents

josephine baker

martha p. johnson

sylvia rivera

ella fitzgerald

maya angelou

her anthony and her june

she laughs it off a little bit afterward

for all that she is shaky and sentimental when she’s done

cupping porcelain mugs of hot tea in her hands and blinking slowly up at the posters on her wall, the chiffon drapes blowing a little over her bed and brushing against her

she washes her face and moves around her room, dancing a little bit until the faces of her heroes on the walls blur with motion instead of water

and overall feels better when she’s done

ok so helen actually first seriously dates a girl, its the first two serious times actually. they both meet her parents. the first goes off to boarding school and they tried to keep it up in letters, but the longer they wrote to each other the more they realized the other had very different opinions and like. helen just stopped replying. the second one was the person she lost her virginity to, they met at band camp. they’re still friends, but agreed that’s how they were better off.

helen describes herself as “loosely bi”, meaning she isn’t a big label girl for THAT aspect of herself but if she had to tap it with a moniker that would be it.

she meets anthony very similarly to how she met him on canon because THAT CANNOT GET BETTER

so she’s gotten a job at a place called the Soft Note

which is one of the only two close by queer bars

this one is the less club one. this is more wine and sashimi sushi and hipster brick walls

she sees someone in the back a Lot

which is weird

because he’s got a cheap laptop and notes and what looks like… a screwdriver and a circuit? one of those little box things with all the oddly gendered ports and wires

which is also weird because this is a bar where old queens hustle round and chatter about this new-fangled ellen and whisper sweet nothings in each other’s ears and toast to those lost to the aids crisis

otherwise her parents wouldn’t let her play that venue

so it never found good wifi or convenient outlets to be a. necessity.

or. checking for ids on young boys who don’t order alcohol and peek out from the booth at her and Oh. this kid’s spectacles just slipped down his nose and he has eyelashes off the wazoo.

so she says okay bill nye jr. i’m gonna test a hypothesis.

she looks him dead in the eye for the WHOLE of What A Wonderful World.

the timbre of her voice never falters, soaking into the dark wood paneling on the bar and skipping across the bottles on the wall

she is, for lack of better words, magnificent

she tries to go over afterward but a bunch of old queens stop her trying to compliment her in the Olde Gayest way

and by the time she’s hugged every one of them and has a bra now stuffed with Old Gay’s cash instead of tissue

he’s got a worried bouncer hovering over him asking to call his parents because he’s crying quietly

AND SHE LIKE FREEZES AND JUST KINDA

BREathes in, out, waves the bouncer off politely and

tips anthony’s chin up with two fingers

and she just looks so concerned for him

and he just doesn’t know what to say

BECAUSE WHO FUCKING WOULD

so he doesn’t say anything, he just swallows and sits up

anthony gets the deer in the headlights moment where he is. in awe

(SHESTOUCHINGMESHESTOUCHINGMESHESTOUCHINGMESHES)

and she just kinda sits on the counter and says “Hey there. I didn’t mean to sc- intimidate you or the like. ”

anthony: ….

helen: yeah okay that probably was a guarantee wasn’t it.

she taps his chin up again till his mouth closes and eyes him over, tilts his computer screen back, checking the non existing wifi, notes the two words and a couple of slight key smashes in his document, looks at his drink, sniffs it- “boy, is this apple juice?”

anthony:

anthony:

she steals his apple juice and sits on the counter, nursing it

“oh. damn, damn. nice nails.” he’s got glittery tarot cards on them.

snaps out of it slightly, looks down, proceeds to slowly wipe his cheeks and sit on his hands.

“…hey. i didn’t break you did i?”

nothin.

gives him back the drink

he kinda unconsciously slots his lips over where the lipstick is on the glass.

“so. you like jazz or just me.”

he chokes.

there is no more eye contact. she has an answer. she is smiling. he gathers his notes, nods to her jerkily, SCUTTLES OUT.

“See you tomorrow!” she calls after him. doesn’t yell cause she’s a lady. he trips anyway.

minute the bar door swings shut, the old queens start CACKLING. she throws a napkin at them and calls them mean, and looks into getting a business card so she can kiss it with her lipstick and slot it into his keyboard next time. it’ll be three weeks before he can look her in the eye.

#ars placement #Ars Paradoxica #helen partridge #Anthony Partridge #june barlowe #patron-saints #lizzieraindrops

[haeddoti]

Hey there once again! This time I talk about mycurrent favorite songs, my most-listened-to songs and my all-time favorites as well! Actually, I think I can make a whole separate post about k-pop, there is so much more to talk about!

Most-listened-to songs

Whistle- Black Pink

Pop/Stars- K/DA

favOriTe- Loona

Touch- NcT 127

Wow Thing- SM Station

Google Play Music lets you see how many times you listened to a song, so that’s what this list is based on. I don’t use Spotify as much (at least not now) plus I don’t think it would change the ranking too much.

Current faves

Runaway Kids- Harbour

Talk too much- COIN

Tick Tock- Day 6

9 and three Quarters- TXT

modern loneliness- Lauv

For my all time favorite songs, I actually want to go more in-depth than with these previous songs because I actually care a lot about how music makes me feel and I like talking about things I like.

Now let’s get into the songs that are my all time favorites, songs I have enjoyed for a long time already or songs I don’t think I will get bored of. Note that these songs don’t include my “emotional well-being songs”, aka songs that I listened to in really emotional situations and songs that will make me cry if I listen to them in the wrong moments. I do love them too tho.

“Fireflies”- Owl City

“Cause they fill the open air

and leave teardrops everywhere

You’d think me rude but I would just stand and stare”

Oh wow this song is a masterpiece. It was my first ever CD that my parents got me for my birthday and I loved listening to this song even when I was a kid. It has this dreamy atmosphere and the lyrics are so beautiful yet creepy at the same time. It paints this image in my head and I attempted to draw it a lot of times already but I’ve got it quite right, so I guess I have to keep trying. The song also has a certain kind of melancholia which I really enjoy.

This song fits somehow every mood I’m in. Happy? Yes. Sad? Yes. In need of comfort? Yes. Need to calm down? Yes. It is such a timeless artwork and I’m sure I will listen to it many more times.

“Cruel Summer”-Taylor Swift

“I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you”

(I’m aware this sounds like Stylish but eh)

Ahh my summer-romance-dream-wish song. If this song would be a photo, it would be the sky right before dawn with little pink clouds. It sounds like vintage camera videos look, you know, the one’s where the video is squared and the screen flickers slightly and everything is sepia-ish yellow.

It sounds like late night talks in the summer and eating watermelon and swimming in a lake in the forest and hiding your clothes behind a tree. It sounds like summer nights. And I love it so much. It sounds so sad somehow, almost like a heartbreak. This is one of my summer road trip music songs, which is a genre you’ll find quite often among my favorites.

This song makes me wanna dance and draw and cry all at the same time.

“Summer Days”- Macklemore& Patrick Stump

“Pull the roof back just me, you and the stars

Toast to the Gods”

Did I mention I like summer road trip music? Yeah. This is coincidentally also my favorite walking-through-the-city-song at any time of the year. It boosts my confidence, my self-esteem and even though I’m not that into highly sexual songs, this one is really nice. I actually listened to this song for the first time on the radio while driving to Lake Constance and it took me a solid 3 days to find this song on YouTube because I couldn’t make out the singers voices as much and they didn’t say the title of the song afterwards. The imagery sounds like the “The Last Resort” Map from Hitman 2, at least that’s what I thought of when I listened to this song another time. I really like the song and the ~vibes~ it has when you play it as a background music while chilling with your friends.

“rooftop”-N.Flying

“Every time I look up in the sky,

There’s not a single star,

It’s alright, you’re my universe

shine bright for me”

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or rather, first listen? I certainly didn’t but BOY, this wasn’t love at first sight but a whole marriage proposal on my part. I randomly listened to this because someone on twitter said they were underrated so I just looked for their most recent comeback and I instantly fell in love with every single thing about this song. This is another road trip star gazing song, which I absolutely love. It literally says so in the lyrics.

This is also such a pretty, romantic love song, I can’t.

“Butterfly”-LOONA

“Fly like a butterfly”

Best K-Pop MV and Choreography of 2019, don’t @ me. This song is my favorite Loona whole-group song and the best Music video of every genre I’ve ever seen. Aesthetically pleasing? Superb editing? Diversity? An expensive looking MV with optimal usage of minimal built sets? You name it. This MV has it all. The song itself is also a work of art. It sounds dreamy, like early mornings and soft music in the city.

Some people criticize that the chorus doesn’t have actual vocals but honestly, that would ruin it. The  chorus is fine as it is and from a performing pov, it also makes sense; as a viewer, you are supposed to focus on the dance and the atmosphere and not the singer.

Idk man, this song is just so good and I highly suggest it to everyone who at least wants to see a really good music video.

“Vegas Lights”- P!atD

“We gotta be starting something,

would you change it if you could?”

My favorite P!atD song. It’s another road trip song and the song that would play in a teenager movie, when they are in the park during summer eating pizza pretending to be in Vegas. This song is so fun, and fast paced and an instant mood maker and I love every second of it. The bridge of the song is also really good, amazing contrast between the chorus.

The sass in the voice of Brandon is also amazing. Walking through the city while having an “Oh if you only knew, what we’ve been up to” is very much amazing and confidence-boosting, even though I’m just walking to the supermarket.

“I just”- Red Velvet

“I just leave”

This song is the epitome of melancholic-break-up-love songs. They way it summarizes the want tot run away from pain and sadness is projected really well through their voices and it is definitely my favorite RV B-Side. It makes me want to cry sometimes. There are, in fact, not as many lyrics because they repeat the “I just leave” and Ah-y-ah quite a lot, but the actual text lyrics are so powerful and deep, it’s amazing. I usually don’t listen to b-sides at first and the only reason I found out abut this song in the first place was because they actually did a “vertical MV” and I watched it because I thought it was a title song and then I was shocked because I learned it was in fact a b-side. This is one of those songs I could show to my nonkpopfans-friends because it doesn’t sound too k-pop-y and the instrumental provides enough atmosphere to make everyone understand what the song is about: Break-ups, fear and longing of something new.

“Letting Go”- Day6

“Holding onto you will do you no good,

I know, so I struggle to get you out,

The times we had together, our dear memories,

I let go, let go, let go

So you can smile someday.<i> “ </i>

Let me present to you the most underrated and under appreciated Day6 song to this date. This is, in my humble opinion, not only their best but also their most heartbreaking song. Its different to “How can I say” or “I need somebody” because it depicts a different kind of pain. The pain of wanting someone else to be happy while knowing that you’ll never be the reason they’re happy. Its just so...wow genius Young-k, we stan. Anyways, this is also the only K-Pop song I can sing in Korean and actually know all the lyrics. Definitely a must listen, even if you don’t listen to K-Pop on a regular basis.

#day6 #favorite music #kpop #alternative #music and feelings