#some things arent meant to be taken so seriously like sometimes you just need to get out of your own head ya know

[reel-fear]

may I ask you to elaborate on what exactly do u mean by your post about the implications of bee as the one poc in the cast? Like are u saying the characters themselves (ie Optimus) are biased against him or that the writers have an unintentional bias against bee for being a poc?

The thing is I think the writers really didnt have the human designs in mind when doing usual episodes, they arent considered 100% accurate to the characters and if they did really consider them to be super accurate it would make the writing of those characters in other episodes strange. I think the human designs were just kind of thrown together with little thought and the writers didn't think much of it. But specifically I think it makes the way the characters treat Bee [which is admittingly Sometimes treated as in the wrong and esp in the case of Optimus is treated like they are doing the Wrong Thing] seem like it could be racially motivated.

Optimus in particular tends to talk down to and belittle Bumblebee, him and Sentinel seem to see Bee as a rebellious arrogant bot who needs to be put into his place a narrative the show shows is just not right. This usually is chalked up to in the narrative as just being them abusing their power over people who while different than the usual soldier, Are just as compentent and maybe even moreso because of their ability to think differently than others. [Ie, in the S1 finale the story shows Bee as in the right for disobeying Optimus, Optimus is being unreasonable and cruel he wants Bee to obey without speaking out and thats not fair to him]

The story on some level wants us to root for Bee when Optimus is being unfair to him so I dont think the writers were punching down on him for being a person of color, But I do think the writers did not think over the implications of the way the characters treat Bumblebee when they made him the only black person.

Optimus isn't really meant to be written to be bigoted, at least not in the way Sentinel very obviously is. So I dont think the writers entirely thought abt how it may read when the crew obviously punches down on Bee more than anyone else and just so happens to be the only bot in the group who was made black in the human episode. We're meant to mostly sympathesize with Bee, he's still one of our protagonists, it just so happens some of the more mean spirited jokes or jabs directed at him come accross as loaded when hes the only one the writers decided to give black skin to.

It also doesnt help that Bee's need to continuously be shown to struggle to get his teams respect in episodes like home is where the spark is or Meltdown, and then he proves himself as more than what his team thinks of... Tends to be thrown away in favor of the team continuing to treat Bee poorly in jokes or generally being dismissive of him and his abilities. I think the biggest thing is Bee is just meant to be more of a comedic relief character But Once Again, taking in the idea Bee is the only black person in this group their struggle to take him seriously can be read as bigotry from the crew and it's never properly addressed =[

Mostly tho this is just generally problems with tfa bee's story, he struggles to be taken seriously his insecurities are not taken seriously, the narrative doesn't really give him any chance to shine or grow as a person, but when u also have to add to that 'btw hes the only person here who is black' it makes the poor writing he suffers from look... Bad, which is something they should've thought of before making him the only person of color, even if I dont think the writing of Bee was influenced by him being black. [Mostly bc I dont think they Really took the designs in human error seriously]

#ramblez #this is rambley and not well written but my point is #I dont think it was intentional from the writers to treat bee like that narratively or have the characters treat him like that #bc he is black #but they really didnt think of the implications of making him the only person of color there #which I do think is a valid critisism even if I dont think like the tf@ writers were racist bc of the way they wrote bee

[genesisz]

ive been thinking about religion a lot lately, whether i believe or not, what do i believe in? do i have to believe? do i want to believe? something my brother said to me when i was young was “you need to believe in something” back then i kinda thought that meant in any religion, just pick one, but later on i kinda figured that meant just not to follow what your parents or other people tell you, but that you truly believe it or feel something? im kinda confused abt how people go to church and listen to someone talk and pray, do they feel something? and maybe they dont but it at least works for them. it does not work for me, i dont feel anything, i kinda just listen and pick apart what they are saying and end up mad bc i disagree so i never even get to listen to the entire thing. i also cant take them seriously singing up there, sometimes they go hard fr, i be jammin but other times im like? do they really gotta do all that? but also that must work for them and thats great… just not for me. waking up to do that? no thank u. it just genuinely does not interest me, i dont care for it all. its not for me. its not something i want to do, spend my time on, i dont see the point. i truly dont see the point. out of so many religions, i dont want to continue to learn about christianity/catholicism, i just think theres so much more therefore why stick to one thing? not to say thats necessarily what you are doing when u partake in ur religion but if i were to invest my time into something i rather it be something new, not what i grew up with and not what surrounds me now. do i want to invest my time on a new religion? no, not a priority for me atm, i kinda dont even get it. are we…using this for guidance? following/educating/believing certain sentences to guide your life? i can definitely understand that part and get it, but the parts about God and the idea of worshiping essentially a man seems a bit crazyyyy…. i just cant do it man, which ofc not everyone is taking it that seriously….i think… idk… ive only been around people who r pretending to be serious about and people who are 100% about it, so yea ppl im surrounded by have influenced why idc, but ive tried giving it a shot, i just dont really feel like lying or being hypocritical anymore. i believe theres definitely more out there, and the possibility of Gods, for sure ( i prefer virgin mary if ima believe in anything its gonna be a woman! ) but also like im not gonna take it too seriously…. like… its not that serious… also when i say that like i fw w her but its not like im praying to her, i have and pray for others in the sense that i wish for such and such but like never for myself. i think thats still selfish maybe, but im jst not really saying Dios or someone just in a general sense, which works? why not? omg dont get me started on repenting, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN? i think we all hope bad people get whats coming to them but also mistakes are mistakes, youll be fineee you can have self awareness and apologize, living and learning is basically what youre doing but i rather do it w/o the extra stuff, AGAIN if it works for others thats great, i dont think its taken that seriously anymore unless ur a hardcore old person but again growing up and seeing it or being surrounded by it is just like ughhh whateverrrrr ill probably ask around to people my age to see the point of view but idk i think the guidance part is nice but maybe like reading it? not so much living it and going by it, bc well…. ima live my life and ima rot if i wanna rot, i just dont wanna take it so seriously, i feel like if you arent kinda serious abt it then whats the point? other than pleasing others or a lil hobby. i need someone to ask me questions to see figure out what i believe in bc i think i know i feel like i have some answers but also maybe i dont

idk tbh i lost my point tbh, but i believe in myself, one thing ima do is think it through and act or dont act ☝️

[solardrink]

this tommy situation is so weird they need to get their heads out of their asses. they think they know everything which is annoying as hell.

tommy is a smart kid but he also said himself he isnt always sure how to say what hes thinking. its absolutely a right move to leave twitter. try as twitter may try to "educate" which is force feed him into performative activism. the kid is learning and growing and this crazy pedestal hes on must be really insane.

its lovely to hear thats hes been attending therapy and advocates for people to try therapy if they can/need it. i dunno this is stressful but im forcin myself to think about it rationally cause stuff like this is important.

at the end of the day- support your favorite streamers, support people who know shit about politics like hasanabi, support charities, support the trevor project, support the homeless and people in need, support whoever the hell you want unless its morally wrong lmao

educate yourself outside of social media.

twitter specifically is a bad website/platform/media/whatever for teaching people shit in a compassionate and respectful way for a few reasons:

-anonymity: people can say whatever shit they want and get no repercussions because people all over the world use twitter, from terrorists to streamers to high schoolers to politicians to celebrities. plus theres no requirement to share your name or face online i.e. no real responsibility for one's words

-the algorithm of twitter: when a lot of people tweet about a topic at once, it gets on the trending tab. this means people excited about a topic, antis about a topic, rts, prts, comments, likes, Drama. twitter literally thrives on interaction good or bad. people tend to get upset when things are trending at the same time as other things but in reality they are not in control of that.

back to the tommy thing- i.e. hes genuinely apologetic even if he doesnt understand what people are exactly upset about. so chill out hes tired and confused, and no one is saying shit in a simple manner or respectful manner. clearly all hes hearing is people upset with him and leaving is an understandable response.

what needs to happen is a good conversation where he reads and understands why people are upset and the people who wanted tommy to address things need to also talk in a respectful way that he can understand. tommy is not an adult but he is mature and will understand if people actually explain shit instead of just getting mad.

it is completely okay to be uncomfortable and upset but it is not okay to attack people, force them to do what you want, or try to dictate peoples lives when you dont know them.

be kind to one another

#theres nothing i could really say here that i havent already #be kind to each other #genuinely just listen to ranboo #some things arent meant to be taken so seriously like sometimes you just need to get out of your own head ya know? /lh #tommyinnit discourse #tommyinnit #dsmp #mcyt discourse #twitter discourse #fr be compassionate and respectful #tommy is a good kid and i get that he doesnt want anyone hurt or upset #please tell me if anything i said here was wrong i just want to put down my thoughts on it all

[virtual-luvr]

Todoroki x Bakugo’s Twin brother. Like Reader is the silent type of mean where he would whisper or do small petty/ mean things. Basically on the outside outside he’s the opposite of Bakugo, but in reality he just does the same stuff through actions. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense lol

Only You

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Pronouns: none used but male reader implied; use of brother tho

Content: you're Katsukis twin brother, cursing, fluff

Description: maybe you and Katsuki are more alike then Shoto thought.

Note: I LOVE SHOTO I DOMT THINK I DID HIM JUSTICE HERE I HAVENT WATCHED BNHA IN A LONG TIME, ALSO TY FOR REQUESTING !!

---------------------------

You walked down the halls of UA, many voices ringing in your ears and different discussions being had all around you.

As the voices of the people around you got louder you swiftly put your headphones in. Too much noise got you easily frustrated and angry, and while your parents knew you were just as hot-headed as your brother, the people at school didnt.

Speaking of your brother, he was only a few feet away from you. "Oi dumbass over here!"

The sound of your brothers voice swiftly took you out of your pleasent daydream, and as you look up Katsuki is glaring at you while holding a scared Midoriya down.

"What do you need?" You say, annoying laced in your voice but Katsuki was the only one who noticed since you said it so quietly.

"This bitch is telling me you arent as hot-headed as i am, and even though i am very calm and racional, i know you arent! Its like he'stelling me you AREN'T my brother"

"Well, Midoriya is right. Katsuki, we dont have the same personality"

"The fuck do you mean we dont have the same personality? WE'RE TWINS"

"Seems like you havent taken even one science class, no wonder you fail your tests sometimes" you grumble under your breath. Thankfully no one caught you or heard you say it but Katsuki isnt in the wrong, the both of you fight a lot at home only playfully though.

Even so, you and Katsuki are much more alike then people think. You just keep it on the down low around other people that arent family.

As Katsuki let go of Midoriya he looks back at you, as you look at both Midoriya and Shoto and see that they dont have their eyes on you, you nudge Katsuki rather hard.

He immediatly tensed up and blew sparks at you, thankfully you dodged right on time. Immediatly since Katsuki had activated his quirk, you decided to activate yours as well. Effectively tripping him and making him hit face down on the floor.

You look up and are met with Shoto giving you a "what just happened?" look. And you shrug with a smile, pulling your hands into your pockets and walking over to a cafeteria table.

Shoto followed you, but Midoriya did not. He tried to help your brother up even though he knew that would bring him a ninety nine percent chance of getting hit right in the face.

As you sit down to eat some ramen Shoto sits down in front of you.

"I saw what you did" Shoto says, eyes piercing through you. While he probably didn't mean to sound so intimidating, it was a little shocking to hear him say that.

"Pardon?" You say while getting your chopsticks ready, hoping he didnt mean what you think he meant.

"You tripped him"

Oh okay, he defently meant what you think he meant.

You almost spit out some of the ramen in your mouth, thankfully nothing went flying everywhere. You let out a chocked laugh at the seriousness in his face and voice, you never thought he'd be worried for Katsuki of all people.

"Whats so funny?" He says, eyebrows furrowed.

"I just, I didnt think you'd be worried about Katsuki that much" You were still chocking a little bit, coughing from time to time and trying to drink water to alleviate the pain.

"Im not worried about him, im just interested in you. Why did you do that?"

Interested in you? Well thats certainly something you werent expecting.

You and Shoto met quite a long time ago and throughout the years, you guys didnt talk too much. Only this year did your friendship actually start growing, but you had never invited him back to your place to actually let him see how you usually act around family or close friends outside of school.

So it came as a shock to hear him say, interest.

When Shoto said that you stayed still for a second and had to register everything. Which left him confused since you just say their like a robot.

He calls out your name and you finally snap back, you give him a smile and answer.

"Well i guess its time you know a little more about me but uhm, me and Katsu are more alike then you probably think"

To that statment Shoto tilts his head confused.

You keep on explaining, "like you already know we're twins, and while hes much more hot-headed on the outside, im not. I usually try to keep my cool around the school but im very different when im at home, sometimes I slip up and act like i usually do at home. Like right then, i tripped my brother. I usually can say some mean stuff like him as well when we're outside but its because we both just dont know how to actually communicate well"

"I see" Shoto says, it looked like the cogs in his brain were turning at a rapid pace and he looked very concentrated. "If you try to hide it then, why did you tell me about all of this?"

"Because i trust you enough. Im interested in you as well, we should hang out some more"

"You trust me?"

A small blush hit his cheeks and he looked incredibly cute in that moment. It made you smile, it looked like he hadnt heard those words before, or at least not in a long time.

"Yes, i trust you Shoto" and as you said that he looked down, hands covering his face as he blushed more.

"So...who else have you told this too"

"No one, just you"

And if only you knew but those simple words hit Shoto like a train, an even bigger blush appearing on his face. Its been so long since someone trusted him into keeping a secret or a promise, he truly felt like you trusted him.

It was nice, Shoto liked this.

He also liked the feelings that started surfacing for you as well.

[1069 words; feb 5, 2020]

#virtual luvr is typing #virtual luvr has entered the chat #x male reader #gn reader #i guess- #male reader #x reader #bnha x male reader #bnha oneshot #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha x male reader #mha oneshot #todoroki x you #todoroki x reader #todoroki x male reader #todoroki imagine #todoroki oneshot

[dumbputalostheraccount]

long as hell but this needs to be talked about in the community because why are all the identities under the trans umbrella accepted but 2spirit (an identity from indigenous cultures) is rarely acceptable, along with other queer people trying to police our identities and what we label ourselves. it’s subtly (sometimes not even subtle) terfy and racist

i am 2spirit, a very sacred identity from what i’ve been able to learn from my mostly erased and forgotten culture, i am also a lesbian. ive had people say “BUT! BUT YOU ARENT JUST A WOMAN YOU CANT BE A LESBIAN!” first of all i am afab and have no problem saying it because that’s the spirit i feel most so you are wrong and second of all that’s a chronically online take, 2spirit can mean both female and male or completely outside of the binary, it doesn’t just mean your appearance or how you feel as a person like non-binary/trans/genderfluidity does, it’s important in ceremonies and rituals, it’s important to indigenous cultures, and it changes based on the individual and their culture, the lesbian flag includes trans and all identities under the trans umbrella along with gender nonconformity so why are we erasing and invalidating a SACRED IDENTITY that exists outside of the lgbt community as well as within the community if the individual is lgbt, it just seems like racism at this point. ask anyone offline in a queer space (specially older queer people) and they will tell you that it doesn’t matter and is valid. yet ive said i’m genderfluid and non-binary before and guess what? no one cared, it was valid and accepted.. i love my communities (both my native communities as well as the lgbt+ community) but sometimes things like this make it so hard to be more involved with the community, and ironically it’s always white people that are saying it, imagine your oppressors are still trying to segregate you from both of your identities because it doesn’t match what they see as acceptable.. either having to choose to embrace your fluidity as 2spirit or keeping your lesbian identity.. that’s that colonized mindset, but i will never make myself choose because they can both exist. i have seen genderfluid lesbians that change pronouns and appearance everyday. having their partners go from saying gf to saying bf and from wife to husband, wearing binders and packers whenever they feel like it (which hell yeah! good for y’all) still with a lesbian label and that’s perfectly fine and accepted but me having the spirit of both female and male isn’t accepted? it doesn’t make sense. there were natives fighting at the stonewall riots, 2spirits included before the term was even coined, and yet we still have to be fight to be accepted and taken seriously, not just with general racism but with our CEREMONIAL ROLES (2spirits can be very important in ceremonies), we’re included under the community, then we’re not, then we are, then we’re not, then when we’re not and we are still gay/lgbt like gay male or lesbian and 2spirit we are told we can’t be those and have to choose between our identities or people try to make us change our identities. and i am not the only one who has been through this, i talked to a friend of mine a few weeks ago who is gay and native, when some other queer people found out he was 2spirit they said he should say he’s bisexual/pan sexual then since he’s both male and female spirited.. no, that’s not how that works, and who are you to try to change who we are, we know what label and what terms work best for us, we don’t need someone to change that, and we don’t need criticism from people that will never be able to understand it from our perspective. just.. imagine “YOU CANT IDENTIFY LIKE THAT! YOUR CULTURE IS IN THE WAY OF OUR NONEXISTENT WESTERNIZED COLONIZED RULES OF THIS IDENTITY OF WHICH YOU HAVE SUFFERED FIGHTING FOR, FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!”, there were never as much “rules” in the community as there are now, it was very basic, you had the label and you had what the label meant and that was it, you didn’t need to add on rules of who can be that and who can’t, you didn’t police someone’s identity because you didn’t like it, you just didn’t do that, we have more things to worry about in the world then native people correctly identifying with what they are while everyone else gets mad

also can we talk about how terfy this is, because it seems like a more racist extreme version of gatekeeping trans people from identities which also needs to be talked about because it’s not okay

#lgbt rights #lgbtqplus #lgbt history #bipocvoices #queer bipoc #bipoc community #history #indigenous #native american #pride 2021 #wlw pride #wlw tag #queer pride

[babysizedfics]

I know the dark sides kinda accidentally bullied Virgil for regressing but did they know/realise that he has autism? Did they know how to help his sensory issues or did he just have to try and cope himself?

EDIT 31 oct 2020: this info is slightly outdated now as i have decided vee does not get diagnosed until he is 14

This is a little bit heavy so scroll past if u want fluffy happy stuff!! mention of internalised ableism

Janus was basically his father so yeah he definitely knew Vee was autistic and accommodated him to the best of his ability at the time - but he wasn't the most educated on the smaller aspects of autistic life, he knew the big things like meltdowns (which he was adequate at getting virgil through) and stimming (he actively encouraged it but did tease virgil about being embarrassed about it which only made v more embarrassed) and vee not liking certain textures or bright lights (not necessarily an issue in their house) but he wasn't that aware of the things that go unnoticed like small sensitivities to food and poor emotional regulation and other things i can't think of atm.

He was guilty of thinking Vee was simply picky and fussy as a child and didn't really click that it was just another part of being autistic and should have been taken more seriously. Also Janus thought it was standard for Virgil to have a proper meltdown every week, but once vee moves to the light sides its more like once every 4 weeks because its a much more accommodating environment

Also he is canonically pretty selfish, I'm not sure he would have actually sat down to research accounts of autism from autistic peoples persoectives, he probably researched just the standard medical info and considered that enough

(quickly mentioning here that janus is not bitter that virgil left. he was at first but when he saw how much better virgil was doing in the other house he was satisfied that virgil was where he belonged, even if it was still upsetting to him that it wasn't with him. it's not until he wants in on the regression family dynamic that he recognises he COULD have helped virgil feel better in the dark sides house, and begins to educate himself on virgils specific needs so that he wont make the same mistakes again as nana janus)

back when vee was a child Janus explained to remus what autism is and Remus was pretty indifferent tbh he didn't really listen and janus didn't explain vee's specific needs in detail. remus was not very considerate or observant, so tended to accidentally trigger virgil's sensory overload by being loud and stuff. occasionally he felt a little bad about it but would just roll his eyes - but he wouldn't do any loud pranks for at least a few hours after. he never made things harder for vee on purpose out of cruelty, he just wasn't necessarily willing to adapt his behaviour for the sake of virgil if it meant he wouldn't personally have as much fun.

as much as janus knew how to get virgil through a meltdown, virgil had to deal with all the smaller details on his own. he had to pick certain foods off his plate and wear ear plugs when the others refused to turn down the volume on their horror movies and he struggled a lot with internalised ableism because no one helped him with these things so he thought it would be burdensome for him to ask for help but he also realised he wasnt coping well on his own and really wanted help, he just wouldnt let himself ask for it

in conclusion, they were aware of his autism and didnt make fun of it in any way because thats mean. Still, they weren't very educated on it or considerate at the time and didn't adapt the environement much to make it easier for virgil to cope, which is one of the things that led up to virgil moving out

I want to point out again that these are realistic experiences that explore a family who did not have the tools to effectively make things easier for Vee at the time, it is not abuse and it is not "unsympathetic", though it was undereducated and inconsiderate - A lot of the reason things were so bad in the house was because the dark sides just dont communicate effectively.

janus and remus are awkward with feelings, their idea of a heart to heart is grumbling a slight reassurance veiled in 8 layers of sarcasm then immediately calling each other names to brighten the atmosphere. theyre the friends who say they thoroughly hate you when you make them laugh and they threaten to decapitate each other as a form flattery. and they dont need to change that about thrmselves, some people are just like that, to janus and remus thats their favourite way of communicating and showing affection and it makes them happy. its just a bad match with virgil who is very sensitive to even the slightest insinuation that someone doesnt like him. janus and remus arent bad people they just are not the right people for virgil to live with

I am basing this specific storyline/concept on my experiences with my family and their gradual acceptance and understanding of me being autistic. Yes it would be nice if every family instantly knew exactly how to make things easier for someone who is autistic but it's just not always that idealistic. It's not black and white, it's not either 100% supportive or 100% abusive. it's not always a linear line, sometimes families make mistakes and accidentally make things worse at some point, but what matters is they recognise and acknowledge them, apologise sincerely, educate themselves and unlearn misconceptions, and work to be better in the future!

#i am begging u not to come for janus because hes based on my mum WHO IS NOW CERY UNDERSTANDING AND HELPFUL about my autism #so pls have open minds #im not even sure i want to address this in the series at least not directly because its pretty heavy #can u tel im nervous and defensive about this one #ableism mention #nana janus #chaotic cousin remus #little/big insights #little angst #asks #indent anon

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

#long post// #i would like one free ticket to pop off please. thank you #can i cash it in immediately if you dont mind

[agentbarton12]

Old People Teenager Watchers

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

~

the advice - 3

Tony trusted Peter.

He doubted he’d say it to his face, but he hoped that Peter knew it anyway. He trusted that, when in a situation, Peter would make the right decision. Okay, more like hoped, but whatever.

The point is, when Peter came to him saying that he was ready to reveal Spider-Man to world, Tony thought he was being a complete idiot.

Why would he want to give up anonymity? What could possibly make him think this would be a good idea? Hormones, was the first answer that came to Tony's mind. Peter wanted to impress someone and he thought the best way to do that would be to reveal his identity. Then Tony got to thinking about all the people Peter could want to impress, but the only one he could think of was MJ (that’s right. She’s MJ now. Take that Steve) and that didn’t make sense — she already knew about his not-so-secret identity. Which meant that there had to be another girl.

Ugh.

Just the thought of Peter liking anyone except Michelle made Tony sick.

He tried very subtly to figure out why Peter wanted to do this (“Why, Peter? This could ruin your life. Don’t go public, Pete. Don’t do it. You’ll give me a heart attack. Ah, there it is. Do your super spider ears hear that? That’s sound of me dying. You really wanna kill me?”), but for some reason, it never worked.

He had been so lost and confused for a full hour, and that was the longest he had gone not understanding something, when MJ sent him a picture.

Emmjaaay

[image attached] chill out, dude. they were gonna figure it out anyway. besides, he feels like its “time” or whatever now

The picture was of Peter in his Spidey suit sitting on a roof without his mask on. It was a grainy picture, but if you knew who Peter was, you would be able to tell it was him. Honestly, of all the reasons to reveal your identity, it’s because someone took a photo of him. Not because it would benefit humanity or some noble thing Steve would talk about, but because of a picture.

Tony was tech genius, for crying out loud! He could make this picture disappear and Peter wouldn’t have to do something rash, like reveal himself.

TonyMan

How do you feel about this?

Emmjaaay

eh, im kinda, dare I say it, proud of him. that hurt so much to type.

TonyMan

Ha. But really, you think he’s ready? This is a big step up.

Emmjaaay

arent you, the same guy who tried offering him a spot on the avengers team when he was what, 12? he turned you down because he didn’t feel ready, now like three years later he does. just sit back and trust he’s making the right decision even if you feel he isnt. its the only reason I have put up with his self-sacrificing tendencies.

TonyMan

Do me a favour and activate the auto-correct on your phone.

TonyMan

Like, seriously. Please.

They held a press conference the next day. No, Tony was not announcing him as an Avenger, just the identity thing, which still wasn’t sitting well with him.

Really, he thought Peter was being irrational, and he even told him as much, which resulted in Peter saying that he wasn’t a kid anymore and was allowed to make his own decisions, no matter how rash Tony thought them to be.

As it turns out, it went pretty well. Peter even had an original speech planned that was so clearly written by MJ, Tony thought it was her up on the podium. He answered questions quickly and curtly, going into detail where necessary, and where not, giving vague answers. He was so clearly taught by Pepper, that Tony thought it was her up on the podium.

The press ate it up and even got Peter to demonstrate some of his powers. Of course, the kid decided that climbing the walls was a good idea and when he saw MJ somewhere at the back, even though she said she didn’t want to go, he lost his grip and fell on his face. MJ laughed the loudest.

So, maybe Tony should’ve trusted Peter’s decision, because it seemed to have worked out okay. The world knew he was Spider-Man, but didn’t know where he lived, which was great for May and his friends. The press knows his school and Tony knows that the first couple of weeks back are going to be hectic.

Tony apologised to Peter for not trusting him and promised to trust him so much, he might as well be his Magic 8 Ball. He explained that he was worried he was doing it because he felt forced, but Peter explained that he has been thinking about it for a while, and that picture just gave him the push he needed to go through with it.

Like Tony expected, Peter was swarmed at school, and as a result, Ned and MJ were too. MJ was undoubtedly the best at handling press, because she was never interesting enough for them to get any information. She hardly spoke when she saw any camera, always burying her face in a book, and making sure Peter and Ned don’t do anything dumb, like exist too much.

All in all, nothing bad had happened since then. Sure, a couple villains tried to use Peter’s open identity as a means to get to him. One guy thought that kidnapping Ned and MJ would be a good idea, but he didn’t count on them practically being the adopted children of the Avengers and was in for a surprise when not one, not two, but all the Avengers showed up to his basement hideout thing.

No one’s tried anything again.

Sadly, like Tony expected, there was — ahem — another girl. Name was Gwen Stacy or something dumb like that. Pepper says the only reason Tony doesn’t like the girl is because he wants Peter to end up with MJ.

And Tony isn’t denying it.

He’s discovered that Gwen and Peter aren’t dating, which means there is still a bit of wingman-ing that can be done. For Peter and MJ. Not Gwen. Gwen could go ahead and be hit by a bus for all Tony cared. In fact, he should make that make that happen…

The only thing that sucked more than Gwen and Peter getting chummy together, was that the only one who was determinedly unbothered by it, was the one it concerned the most.

MJ responded to their relationship (or lack thereof, if Tony had anything to do with it) with a slight furrow in eyebrows and the tilt of her head, as if figuring out if she was okay with this (she wasn’t) or if she had any say in it. But, when she saw Peter’s dumb grin, she gave them the slightest of smiles and told them not to be gross. Sometimes, Tony hated how diplomatic MJ could be.

At the end of the day, Tony had a semblance of hope that they could end up together. This hope dropped marginally when he walked into the kitchen and found MJ's face in his freezer.

“You got any ice cream?”

Tony nearly got a heart attack. “What? — How do you keep getting up here?”

“Like, I know you have ice cream, but you got any good ice cream?” she went on, ignoring his question.

Tony crossed his arms. “I have good ice cream. I don’t know if you noticed, but all that dairy goodness in there is ice cream Ben & Jerry's named after me. Stark's Raving Hazelnuts.”

MJ slowly shut the freezer door. “I just remembered I’m lactose intolerant.”

The billionaire rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha. It’s good, though.”

“I hear it’s chalky.”

“From where?”

“Around.”

When Tony realised that she wasn’t going to elaborate, he changed the subject. “What are you doing here? Thought you and the dudes got together every Wednesday to celebrate the fact Friday’s around the corner?”

MJ shrugged as she continued looking through his fridge and various cupboards. “Yeah, well I guess Idiot Number 1 realised that Peter Parker is just as popular as Spider-Man. He’s gone to a party with Ned.”

“A party? On a Wednesday?”

“Could be. Could be a fundraiser, could be a charity event, could even be a wedding — all I know is that Peter is a very high demand right now.” She had given up one finding anything and stood on one end of the counter and pulled out her phone.

“Why didn’t you join them?”

Another shrug. “I’d like to hang out with my friend when he’s my friend. I understand that in public, he’ll either be Spider-Man or Peter Parker: Teen Avenger — ”

“He’s not an Avenger.”

“ — But, I prefer Peter Parker: Dork Extraordinaire.”

Tony hummed in thought. “Have you told him this?”

“Partly.” She looked up from her phone. “I’m getting ice cream, you want anything?”

“Thought you were lactose intolerant?”

“Fine I’m bad-ice-cream-flavours intolerant,” she deadpanned. “Now, you want anything?”

“Cheeseburger and fries. Coke, too.”

MJ hummed. “Cool. Cash or card?”

“I knew it,” Tony sighed. “Cash.”

MJ visibly deflated. “Dammit. I was hoping to get your pin number.

“Not happening.”

She shrugged and pocketed her phone after she made the order. Tony followed her to couch were they sat staring at a blank T.V. screen. He watched as she pulled her feet underneath her and absentmindedly started tugging on her hair — even though it was in a bun. It seemed to be a habit.

“So,” Tony started, “when are you planning on telling Peter you like him?”

“Don’t know if I want to.” MJ sighed.

Tony was taken aback. Mostly, because he wasn’t expecting her to answer, but also because she wasn’t denying it. When Tony said as much, she rolled her eyes and said, “I know how to acknowledge things, Tony.”

He raised his arms in defense. “Never said you didn’t, just that I’m surprised you did.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not gonna make a difference, is it? He’s fawning over Gwen and vice versa — it’s kinda cute, honestly. Like, I catch him staring at her while she’s studying, or working on an equation and it’s like he’s just in that moment. Like it’s just Gwen working and nothing else.”

“Oh, so it’s exactly how he acts around you?”

Her nose scrunched up as she looked at him. “He does that?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe. There’s a betting pool we have to see who’s gonna break first and ask the other out. I bet one of my suits that it’ll be you, so don’t disappoint me,” he said jokingly, trying to subtlety instill the prospect into her mind. It didn’t work because she just continued to stare at the screen.

FRIDAY then alerted him that their food had arrived, and Tony asked her to have it brought up. He got up from his spot and moved to the elevator to collect their order, when they dinged open and Scott walked out holding the bag of food.

“’Sup, Stark — ooh, is MJ here? Why’s MJ here? It’s Wednesday, right?” Tony held up a hand to silence him and opened his palm.

“Food first, questions later,” he said, motioning with his fingers to indicate that Scott should hand over the bag. Scott ignored him and walked away to sit next to MJ on the couch.

“Hey, Scott,” she greeted, with a two finger salute.

“Hey. Whatchu doin’ here?”

She shrugged before holding her hand out and Scott more than happily handed over her ice cream. He took out Tony's cheeseburger and bit into it. That was when Tony rushed to intervene with his teammates mouth and his food. Scott merely held the food at arms length away from the billionaire and told him to get his own food. Tony huffed in annoyance about how that was his own food. Scott ignored him and proceeded to take a huge gulp of the drink. MJ just watched in amusement, a smirk playing on her lips behind her ice cream spoon. “See, Tones. Why would I want to hang around a bunch of fame-hungry and genetically modified teenagers when I have front seat tickets to the lamest argument ever?” she asked while Tony and Scott where still bickering over the food.

Tony frowned. “Ned’s not fame-hungry or genetically modified.”

She replied shrugging, “Ned’s special.”

“That he is,” Scott agreed. “Where are they, anyway?” he asked referring to Peter and Ned, shoving a handful of fries in his mouth. Tony hit him upside his head so hard, he sputtered out half-chewed potatoes on the couch. He eyed Tony without a single regret. “I hope you know that you’ll have to clean that up. Because we both know who it’s gonna bother more,” he said in a challenging tone.

Tony stared at him defiantly and MJ mentally counted to fifteen before Tony snapped and went to the kitchen for napkins. Scott celebrated childishly when Tony moved to wipe away the food. He did not account for Tony dropping the napkin in his lap with a devilish grin.

“I hate you,” Scott said. He got up and threw it away. When he came back, he found Tony finishing off the burger while slurping down the Coke. He gave Scott a smirk and Scott responded by flipping him off.

“Totally better than some movie premiere,” MJ said grinning.

“Who’s at a movie premiere?” Scott asked sitting back down on the couch.

MJ responded, shrugging, “Peter and Ned. Maybe. I actually don’t remember what event it was.”

Scott hummed, continuing to stuff his face with chips. Tony looked at Scott evilly then grinned and said in a sing-song voice, “MJ misses Peter.” MJ rolled her eyes, while Scott looked like he wanted to smile, but was fighting against it.

“How do you know?” he asked eventually.

“She told me,” Tony answered in the same voice that got him in the head with a cushion. “She also told me that she likes him.

Scott couldn’t help it and smiled the biggest grin he could muster. He practically squealed with delight and clapped his hands excitedly, then suddenly, he stopped. “Wait. How come you told Tony and not me?”

“He asked first.”

“Fair.” After a moment of silence, Scott asked curiously, “When are you gonna tell him?”

“Why does everyone feel like I need to do something?” she mumbled. “And besides, he’s practically almost in love with Gwen, so I’m not going to bother myself.”

Scott sighed. “There is no way he can be ‘practically almost in love’ with anyone when you’re a person that exists. And, trust me, if there is one thing you can do with these things, it’s try. I mean, look at me,” he gestured to himself wildly. “Hope thought I was just an idiot who stole her father’s suit, but now — ” MJ snorted “ — What?” Scott asked frowning.

“Nothing. It’s just funny how you say thought like she used to think that and she doesn’t now.”

Scott scowled while Tony gave her a fist bump. “Anyway, point is: I thought I had literally no chance with her, but turns out she liked me too! Or learned to like me too. Or is learning to like me too...I need to make a call...” Scott stood up slowly and walked out of the room silently.

Tony looked around and breathed out. “Wow, MJ, you made him question his relationship.”

She shrugged. “Oops.”

A beat. “That was good advice though. You should try.”

She didn’t answer. After a moment she said, “Yeah, well maybe Gwen deserves a shot too.”

Sometimes, Tony hated how diplomatic MJ could be.

[thaumaturgesaint]

just got a reading from @powerpriestess & while i’m gonna take more time to really dig into the messages & get more insight from them i already got so much from just the first listening of the audio !! so i’m gonna go ahead & do my review now!! thank you so so much courtney, i’m so grateful for you & your presence & your incredible insight & talents !! 🙏💛 i’m seriously blown away by how indepth & accurate everything was!! 

a couple things stood out the most for me, though literally everything you said resonated, there wasn’t any part of the reading i was questioning or doubting, ( though i did ofc wish for clearer answers from the Universe in some parts, esp when asking about my path/purpose, i wasn’t really expecting them bc i know how it goes lol! gotta find & trust the answers in yourself )

so the things that stood out the most were:

- you mentioning past life work, because i almost included a question about that!! i was gonna ask if there were any specific past lives i should be working with/gathering info on, bc i know the gist of a lot of past lives, but i never know which to delve into, and i often get overwhelmed when trying to figure it out.. but i’d already asked so many questions i didn’t want to overwhelm so i skipped the question, and then working with past lives came up in the reading, like! how cool! can’t get more solid confirmation than that tbh.. i also just got a past life astrology book for my birthday so also neat that it came up right after that, w/o any prompting from me!!

- inner child work was also brought up & encouraged which is rlly interesting bc i just recently (in the past 2 weeks or so) started intentionally working with my inner child !! i can’t remember the last time i cried as hard & as freely as when i did my first inner child meditation, it started the process of releasing so much internalized stuff & imo is kinda what kickstarted my renewed interest & devotion to my spiritual journey!! generational trauma also came up in the reading which i think has a lot to do with why i felt so called to start the inner child work, to heal the hurts that feel innate within me but definitely arent, to move past them & begin healing from them!

- and manifestation/creation was a huge theme in the reading which is so interesting to me bc i literally just started a manifestation blog along the lines of manifestwithariel’s blog like.. less than a week ago i think!! its been something i’ve been struggling with for a while ( hello doubts, limiting beliefs :’) both of which were also mentioned in the reading! ) but seriously as soon as i made the decision to manifest seriously & confidently it started happening.. like within a day i was seeing incredible & tangible results.. wild! and really amazing that it came up in the reading as one of my strengths like.. that’s so thrilling & exciting to hear & i’m excited to delve even further into it !!

- i’m not gnna talk about what was said in the relationship part bc it’s very private for me but it was such a relief to hear, and especially you saying i need to stop overthinking & doubting, bc they’re unfounded.. was just really amazing to hear, and i definitely did come to tears a couple times lol! it was just.. such a huge weight lifted from my shoulders to hear that i haven’t been wasting my time with this & that i’m not like.. nuts.. for placing so much weight on this relationship.. especially when you got the download for past lives that was like.. my heart stopped a second! overwhelming but in such a good way!!

- also the part where you said like i need to stop letting my emotions control me, and to master emotions ( which is a concept i worked with when i taught DBT so like.. i’m super kicking myself for not realizing it lol but sometimes we do just need that outside confirmation! ) was so huge & important, and the way you phrased it, using emotions as a tool to know what you need to do, stuff like that, was so eye opening for me & i’m so so grateful for the way you see & express things!! it’s incredibly helpful, and i can’t wait to dig further into the reading, especially this part of it!!

anyway i meant to only talk about a few but i just bullet pointed like 80% of the reading lol! the whole reading was really just huge & obvious confirmation into what i’ve been wondering and worrying about, and it’s really funny because you mentioned that specifically, i think with literally every section, that it’s things i already know but have been doubting, or haven’t been confident in.. and that there was an entire section just saying to just be more confident & trust myself / my intuition is wild lol i love it !! 

like i said i’m gonna be digging deeper into this & for sure will be journaling & meditating on all the answers you provided but i already feel so good about the reading & the messages received !! thank you so so much courtney, i’m really pleased i was able to grab a spot before they were all taken !! ( and did ask the Universe for there to be room for me if i was meant to receive a reading hehe so just evn more confirmation!! ) 

so glad i got to work with you & absolutely looking forward to doing it again in the future !! 🙏💛🕊️🌿🌱🌵

#op #powerpriestess #gratitude #ok byee i'm gonna go journal more now lol!! i just really wanted to take the time to express my thanks for this amazing incredible reading!!

[killcomet]

Mutuals!!! here!!! read this!!! i love you!!!

heres an appreciation post to all my mutuals that i consider family!!!!! because i love you lots!!! 

WARNING TO ALL NON MUTUALS, THIS IS LONG AS FUCK

@anpandan Danny boy!!! i love you so much oh my god you are such an amazing person and i have so many good memories with you, bad ones too but even those are nice !! you make me smile and i when you sometimes respond to my updates i send you it makes me smile so softly and its just a really nice feeling? i love you a lot Danny!!!!! happy new year!

@unknowntalesx Pao, we havent talked in a while and i hope youre doing well!! ill always love you even if we dont talk. i miss you and you are such a good part of my day when i do talk to you, even if they arent very often. happy new year and merry christmas Pao!!!!!

@little-star-in-the-universe Holley Jolly, im so so proud of your resilience. youve overcome so much and grown so much as far as i can see when i talk to you. you are such a good thing to me, even though you may not feel the same. i know that you always struggle, and im incredibly impressed at how far youve come, even if youve taken steps back. even when youre feeling shitty, you always listen to me and talk to me when i need it and im thankful for that. i love you, youre my family, i hope i never ever lose you. happy new year!!!

@little-bunny-jungkookie Parent!!! ahhh you are such a role model in my mind?? you always seem to keep a somewhat level head and always are so so supportive and just ugh i want to meet you so bad?? i always love talking to you and you always seem to know how to help even if its just like telling me to go drink water or sleep. i really truly consider you family, like i would consider you someone i would follow? anyway, i love you a lot, happy new year!!!

@sundaetae Dee Cookie, my smart cookie, you amazing person you. i love you a lot, you seem to have this aura around you that just lights up rooms. you are so so creative and im so glad your personality is the way it is. you are such a light in some peoples lives and are such absolute joys to them. you are so so smart and you are a god damn fantastic thing to this world, i love you, happy new year Cookie

@jungkooksbuttons Bub, i love you a lot, even when i do seem a bit agitated. you are such an important piece to my world, and you always are there to support me when i need it. youre my cub, my cutie patootie!! you always make me smile when im a bit down and its p great honestly, and when you always talk to me about cough cough you know who cough cough you always try to just let me talk about her? which is kinda nice, but i love you my cub bub, happy new year!!!

@bloomingjiminie Marshmallow, wow i remember when i gave you that name, you were pouting about not having a nickname and wanted me to make one for you and i thought of marshmallow bc youre sweet and full of fluff and a wholesome being which is what marshmallows are. we dont talk as often as i would like, but i love you a lot and you mean a lot to me, and i just want to hug you tbh, happy new year Dia!!

@seokjinownsmyass Mina!! you amazing person, i remember when i first met you i gave you the nickname my love because you were low key jealous that me and eden were flirting so i called you my love and it just kinda stuck for a while (tho i stopped when Rae showed interest cough cough didnt want to get into that whole thing lmao) but you are such a funny and caring person and we dont talk very often but im glad we do talk in those few cases we do, its nice, but i love you a lot and happy new year!!

@problematicsinnamon baby, where do i even start. you mean a fuck ton to me, even tho i sometimes act kinda shitty. youre so supportive and so so so kind and patient and i just love you so much. you just light up my world and always make me smile and just overall always help me a lot through things. youre so so understanding and i look forward to when i get the chance to talk to you. i remember when you would go crazy the first few times i flirted with you and it made me laugh and made me smile. i remember when i said i like being given nicknames and you called me starlight and the softness i got from it. i remember when the server started shipping us lmao i remember when the first time you said i could come to you whenever i needed it. they all meant a lot to me, because they made me smile. i love you Eden baby, happy new year

@simonbunnyjunior Simon Sweetie, you wholesome being that i love v much and would suffer from the most annoying people for you. you always get me so excited when you come around. its like a bout of excitement and its really nice when im having a bad day to see that youre talk, even when im just simply lurking. theres moments i had with you that really made me laugh and smile, like the “its just platonic” thing that happened a bit back, i love you sweetie, happy new year!!

@lofisapphic Honey Bee i would drop kick someone for you. you mean a lot to me, like really truly a lot. i would never let you die and i would kill you in the after life if you did, and im saying that bc you say you will a lot. i love you to the moon and back and i would 100% support anything you do, unless its killing millions of people, thats a big no no. bUt you have y love so that should sate you for a bit lmao but seriously tho, i love you a lot and happy new year

@bangtansoftboys Robin!!! my honey bun!! we dont talk often but you are a v wholesome person. just your entire personality is so soft and fluff and overall p great. when i first came on the server, and first talked to you, i kinda thought of you as this intimidating person that was impossible to talk to, and honestly thats hard to believe now. youre way too soft to even try to intimidate me, not that you cant try. anyway, i love you a lot and hope you have a great new year!!

@kingdomzeldaquest Lotte!! my other parent!!! i love you a lot, even though we dont talk too often bc of time zones. you along with some others have been my family the longest, and i love you a lot. i remember when i first met you and i thought it was honestly wild when you said you were from australia. you always have loved me so much and always cheer me up when im feeling shitty, overall im v thankful for you lotte, i love you, happy new year

@spriteisbetter Esther !!! you wholesome wholesome human being, where do i start. you are such a soft yet firm soul hon, and i love it. youre understanding yet know when clear about what you say. you always try to make me feel better about how im feeling when i talk to you all about that stuff. youre such a comforting person and always seem to calm me. i miss you a lot and i think always will. you made my day good when you were at school and always check up on me when you can to make sure im doing ok and better, and i appreciate it a lot, more then you know. i love you hon, happy new year!!!!

@generalchenchen Rachel, bby!!! you always are such a happy soul, a loud, but happy, soul. its really nice when you dont make me talk about anything and just,, talk. its nice when you ask about my day and i tell you then you babble on about whatevers on your mind. i find it v cute and endearing when you get super excited about something and just ramble on and on about said thing. i remember when you had me come over for a sleepover to cheer me up. im so so grateful that you trust me enough to talk to me about things on your mind and that you trust me enough that you want to tell me when you leave the country. i love you, would die for you, happy new year bby

@daydream-hobii Sweets!! ive always admired your writing and i just love it a lot. youre so sweet and just really make me happy when i read your stuff and when i see that youve answered my asks! youre a really nice and v understanding when im a little down or when im not taking care of myself. you overall are just a v caring person that im grateful to know, i love you! happy new year! (´ヮ`)

@puppieseokie Fay, i know we dont talk often and were not as close and i am as everyone else, but you still mean a lot, you always have a somewhat level head and you always seem to be so calm and i kinda admire that considering the server were in together lmao but i really do appreciate youre existence, love you, happy new year!!!

@shadowclaws Sophia!!!!! i miss you!!!! i love you a lot!! i remember when we were kids and vaguely remember meeting you in kindergarden and man that was wild when i had the revelation that were in the same kindergarden class as me. you are such a funny and relatable person and so easy to get along with tbh. youre my longest friend and im incredibly grateful for you, happy new year!!!

im sure theres people im missing but im getting tired of typing and my fingers are getting cramped and this is really fucking long so like ヽ(。_°)ノ

but i love you all a lot!!!!!

#sweets!! #cookie💜 #rachel💜 #esther💜 #lotte💜 #fay💜 #marshmallow💜 #simon sweetie💜 #Robin💜 #honey bee💜 #my baby💜 #bub💜 #holley💜 #parent💜 #rae rae💜 #pao💜 #danny💜 #mutuals #mutual appreciation #mina💜 #bby💜

[the-end-of-art]

Nobody in love is original

Christian Wiman wrote this gorgeous remembrance for poet Craig Arnold that is full of everything "the necessary but destabilizing intensities of poetry, and the life that one risks by cultivating those intensities, and the life that—in some cases, our cases, we both felt—poetry also rescues." I don't know about you, but in college I was trained to separate the poet from the poem, and while I think a poem needs to stand on its own without needing the context of a poet's biography to fill it with anything it's lacking, but in the last few years I have wanted so much for poetry to connect and reconcile me to other people, places, and things - and not least the people who write poems, inasmuch as we can ever know another person, or at least for as much as we can know them through an experience of their words. 

I truly believe that books find you exactly when you need them, and I just want to tell of the happy journey that led me to this at exactly the right time: years ago someone loaned me Carl Adamschick’s Saint Friend, still one of my all-time favorite poetry books. It was published by the McSweeney’s poetry imprint, and some months later, at random in the library, I saw another McSweeney’s book, and while I was really put off by the title, Love: An Index, which made me think it was going to be a book of poems built around a conceit, a trick, on the strength of the many good McSweeney’s poetry books I’d read, I borrowed it, and devoured it. There was definitely a central operating principle - sections began with A, B, C through Z - but I remember many moments in that book as rising above it to be really good, and I was moved that Rebecca Lindenberg had written it in memory of a partner who had died suddenly and unexpectedly in an accident. About three years later, @waitingforthecat liked one of my posts and I was intrigued enough by that handle to look up their tumblr, which wow is full of stuff I really love, and when I read the poem Bird-Understander I got that I-must-read-everything-by-this-poet-immediately feeling, and it turns out to be by Craig Arnold (and the beloved in Bird-Understander could well be Rebecca Lindenberg - and even if it isn’t literally, autobiographically, everything we write comes from who we are, and the people who make us who we are).

From an interview with Jeremy Richards, “How to Write Love Poems”:

What’s the most pressing challenge in approaching a love poem? Craig Arnold: For a poet at the beginning of the 21st century, I think the most difficult thing is how to navigate this brave new world, where we’re in the midst of making up our collective mind about what it means to be men and women. In the Western tradition most love poems have assumed a male poet writing to or about a female object, who can accept or refuse the offering but who doesn’t otherwise say much, and the formal conventions of poetry have crystallized around that assumption. There are those wonderful Provençal troubadour poems that imagine the poem as a dialogue, a back-and-forth between two mutually desiring individuals, but those are among the few exceptions. Now when we sit down to write poems to our lovers—or to the people we hope will be our lovers—we’re more likely to be thinking: What am I responding to? How do I hope this person will respond? How is this part of an ongoing conversation? With “Bird-Understander” I wanted to say not, as an Elizabethan courtly sonneteer might have said, “Look, I made your words into poetry, aren’t I fabulous?” but rather “Listen, what you said to me, it’s already poetry, better than anything I could write, and it would make me happy simply to have you see that.” Where do you think most bad love poems go astray? Any love poem has to strike a careful balance between the particular and the common. As a lover you feel as though you and your beloved are the most intensely particular people in the world—“Never again a love like this,” as Roddy Lumdsen says. But the fact is that you’re submitting yourself to what is possibly the most common or universal human experience, and that sometimes the most direct and most accurate expression of that experience may, in fact, be the language of cliché. I’m thinking about the duet that Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman sing on the rooftop in Moulin Rouge, which is just a pastiche of trashy pop songs, and in some way that’s what all love poetry is leaning toward. But when you think about [it], what is a cliché, if not a poem that won? We feel that so many love poems are bad, or clichéd, but I suspect that what we dislike about them are not the clichés, but the experience of being in love itself. As poets we like to think that we’re original, and it embarrasses us to remember how utterly unoriginal we can be—the sudden appeal of the corniest things, the mood swings, the crying at movies and the like. Let’s face it, nobody in love is original. We all feel and do pretty much the same things, make fools of ourselves in the same ways, and hopefully come through it alive and well and happily in bed with someone else. But that’s also precisely the appeal of love poetry, the intensely humbling nature of the experience it tries to describe. As a younger poet, did you ever fumble with the bad, saccharine attempts at love poems that most of us write? What can we learn from those fumbles? It’s hard to say. I came into my writerly existence in the 1980s, the Decade of Irony, when it was very uncool to express any sort of strong feeling directly or plainly. If you wanted to be taken seriously as a writer, you learned to police yourself for any signs of sincerity, to cloak them in irony and diffidence and perhaps a certain obscurity. A while ago, my first lover sent me a copy of a poem I wrote when I was maybe 19, and what strikes me about it now is, though I clearly meant it as a gesture of love, I didn’t frame it as such. Rather than I addressing you, it was all in the third person, a sketch of a character from a noir novel, a sort of Philip Marlowe–like individual smoking underneath a window. It was a stealth love poem, a meta–love poem, a sort of “I have this friend who’s in love with you” kind of poem. The habit of indirection was already very strong in me, as it was with other poets of that era. So I think the danger then was actually not being too saccharine, but rather of being too cool, too frigid. Now the danger is probably being too caffeinated—I’m thinking of the maniacally antic poems of the New New New York School, whatever generation of that we’re on now. So one can fumble by being too cool, and one can fumble by burying the truth of one’s feeling under a heap of jagged and jarring images. I think Creeley, of all people, was able to hit the right note, plain and plaintive and wistful and awkward—what he brings out is the awful hesitancy of that moment where you’re holding out this little offering to somebody else and hoping to hear Yes I said yes I will yes. And what you’re risking is a certain kind of sentimentality. But for my money, I think it’s better to risk the sentimental and fail, than aim for frigidity and succeed.

So now I’m going to read Robert Creeley. I am so grateful to have poetry in my life.

(https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/69223/how-to-write-love-poems)

#Craig Arnold #Rebecca Lindenberg #Christian Wiman #Carl Adamshick #poem #poet #poetry #love #Jeremy Richards #Robert Creeley

[rosapeachhogwartsmystery]

Why are you so nice to me? (Hogwarts Mystery Imagine - Reader x Merula Snyde)

Masterlist  (To view my Masterlist, visit my Tumblr page)

Request:  If it's ok I have a request for a fanfic of reader x Merula where the reader helps Merula with summoning her broom? (since she keeps hitting her face after all)

A/N: I hope this is what you were looking for ^^ I tried to make this imagine more gender neutral, so the reader and Rowan are referred as ‘they’.

Words: 2138

Pairing: Reader x Merula Snyde

_________________________________________________

Merula was getting frustrated during Flying class. Sometimes she just wasn’t able to summon her broom well. She often glanced at your direction, but you seemed to be doing a lot better than she was doing. She hated it. She had her own broom, yet you could do it a lot better. You didn’t have your own broom for Merlin’s sake! When her broom hit her in the face again she scowled a bit. She began glaring when you looked at her. “Don’t you have anything better to do, Y/L/N?” She muttered. You rolled your eyes and began summoning your broom again. Merula cursed under her breath when she saw you managed to summon your broom. This was only your first year and you seemed to be doing well. Still, she wouldn’t let you become the better one without a fight. She would still try to sabotage you during potions, hoping Snape would let you fail. No, she couldn’t let you become the best witch at Hogwarts. She was the best witch. You were just Jacob’s younger sibling. You were just as mad as your brother, she was sure of that. There was no way she would let a lunatic become the best.

 Merula frowned when she still couldn’t summon her broom. You began walking over to her and tilted your head. “Do you need some help?” You asked. She shot you another glare, feeling annoyed. “I don’t want your help.” She muttered. “Are you sure? It looks like you are struggling.” You said softly. “Go away, Y/L/N, before I will hex you.” She told you. “Y/N, come on. Merula doesn’t want your help.” Rowan said. You sighed and then you walked over to Rowan. Rowan just shook their head, wondering why you would try to help Merula. “You know, I could probably help her if she wasn’t so bloody stubborn.” You muttered softly, hoping she wouldn’t hear it. Rowan titled their head. “But why do you want to help her? She hates us.” They said. “I know, but perhaps she wouldn’t be so angry with us anymore if I help her.” You said. “You are way too optimistic. Merula doesn’t seem to like much people here. She scares most of the other first years.” Rowan told you. “I know, but I’m sure Merula could be nice as well if she just opens up a little.” You said with a grin.

Merula overheard you talking with Rowan and huffed. Did you honestly think she would become less angry with you if you help her out? You must be kidding! You must be really mad to be so naïve about such things! There was no way she would stop hating you. She would just mess a little with you, thinking it would be fun to prove you wrong. “So, you want to help me, Y/L/N? Do you honestly think you could teach me how to summon my broom?” She asked you when she approached you. Rowan began glaring at Merula. “Oh, please Khanna. I have seen scarier looks than that. Besides, this is something between Y/L/N and me, so shoo!” She said. Rowan shook their head and began walking over to Penny. You watched Rowan leave before you looked at Merula again. “You actually want my help? You just said you didn’t want it.” You said, raising an eyebrow. “Well, since you think you are a genius, I thought it would be interesting to see how you could teach me how to summon this stupid broom.” She said with a smirk.

 You gave her a smile. “Well, let me help you then.” You said and then you stood beside her. “Just watch what I do.” You said when she showed her what you did to summon your broom. She watched you. Why did you seem to be so sincere when you tried to teach her? You actually were being nice to her, which was strange. She had been so mean to you, how could you act so nice to her? Did you honestly believe she could be nice if she opens up? You were definitely a strange one, that was for sure. You didn’t fear her like some other students, but you didn’t act that mean to her. You often just defended others. Maybe saying she could be nice as well meant you were trying to defend her as well. No! That is just stupid! You weren’t trying to defend her! You were probably just trying to make yourself look better than she was.

 “You shouldn’t lean forward that much. Try to stand up a little straighter, only leaning in a little.” You said. “I’m not leaning forward that much!” Merula snapped. “You are. Here, let me help you.” You said when you began helping her stand straight. She jumped slightly when you touched her. “Why are you touching me?” She hissed. “I’m just helping with your posture.” You said and then you let her go. “There. This should be perfect.” You said with a smile. “Yeah, right.” She muttered sarcastically. “Come on, give it a try, Merula.” You said. She sighed and then she looked at her broom. “Up!” She said loud enough. She blinked when the broom actually went up. It didn’t even hit her face this time. No, she was actually holding the broom with the hand she was holding out. “Good job.” You said with a smile.

 She looked a little baffled. You actually helped her… You managed to help her summon a broom. She wasn’t going to tell you that though. “Well, that’s great. I’m sure I could have done that without your help as well.” She huffed. You bit your lip slightly and then you nodded. “Sure, I suppose you would have.” You said before you walked away. What? You weren’t going to get angry with her for being so ungrateful? What was wrong with you? You should be angry with her! You did your bloody best to help her and she didn’t even thank you for it! She didn’t understand you at all. You had walked back to Rowan, who was looking at Merula. They muttered something like ‘She couldn’t even say thanks to you? That’s just disrespectful’. Merula slightly looked away when she bit her lip. Did she actually feel bad about this?

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Merula was getting furious. Even after being mean for such a long time, you still helped her! You were both in your fourth year now. Even though she did terrible things to her, she sometimes caught a smile from you that was directed at her. How could someone be so nice to her even though she didn’t feel like she deserved any of those smiles? It was driving her insane. Three years have passed and she still never thanked you for anything you helped her with. Nobody understood why you were being nice to her. Not even Barnaby, who used to be friends with her. Maybe she could just ask him why you would always help her when she needed it. She wanted to understand you, because just thinking about you drove her crazy. She quickly approached Barnaby in the Slytherin Common room and stood in front of him. Barnaby was confused, wondering why Merula wanted to approach him.

 “Lee, could you explain why Y/L/N always tries to help me?” Merula asked. Barnaby blinked. “Because Y/N thinks you are nice?” He said. Merula was taken aback. “Excuse me, did you honestly say Y/L/N thinks I’m nice?” She asked confused. “Eh, yeah Y/N told me that.” He said. “Why?!” She yelled. “They think you are a good person inside and you try to hide that by being mean to others.” He said with a shrug. “I don’t know everything about it, because no one knows exactly why Y/N thinks that.” He said. “I’m going to talk to them…!” She muttered when she stormed off. Barnaby watched Merula storming off and shrugged before he began looking at his book about Magical Creatures. “Another attempt to read this page…” He mumbled to himself.

 Merula was basically storming through the castle, looking for you. She needed to talk to you, because you just didn’t make any sense to her. She couldn’t get you out of her head as well. She wanted answers now. She began asking people around, because she had no clue where you could be. Maybe in the corridor to look for clues in your brother’s secret room? No, you weren’t there. Only one person she talked to knew where you were going. You were going towards the Training Grounds. She sighed and shook her head. That place still reminded her of the day you began helping her out. She thought about how you helped her with her posture to summon her broom. Bloody hell, she didn’t want to think about you, but she couldn’t help it! You were on her mind constantly and you felt like hitting herself. She didn’t want to be thinking about you all day. No, she really didn’t, because she thought it was sign of her liking you.

 There you were, practicing spells against some dummies. She took a deep breath before she approached you. “Y/L/N!” She said. You blinked and then you turned around. You put your want away and tilted your head. “Merula? What are you doing here?” You asked. You began looking around a bit. “You aren’t going to ask me to duel you again, are you?” You asked. “No duelling this time.” She said, shaking her head. “Oh, that’s good.” You said with a smile. “Look, we need to talk.” She said seriously. “Sure, what do you want to talk about?” You asked, unsure why she would talk to you. She didn’t seem to be the type to have chat with you out of the blue, so it must be serious. “I want to talk about you, because it is bloody annoying.” She said. You chuckled softly. “What’s so funny, Y/L/N?” She hissed. “Sorry, but you always seem to think that everything involving me is annoying.” You said honestly, still grinning a bit.

 “This is exactly the behaviour I’m talking about!” Merula yelled. You blinked a bit, because you could tell she was frustrated. “You, always giving me smiles, helping me out when I need it and not even getting angry with me whenever I’m mean to you, it’s driving me crazy!” She hissed, pointing her finger at you. “You want me to get angry with you?” You asked confused. “Yes! I mean, not because I’m asking but because I’m being mean to you! Why do you have to be so bloody nice to me all the time? I don’t deserve your kindness!” She yelled. “I think you deserve it.” You said. “Why?” She asked. “Because I think people aren’t very kind to you. I thought you might become kinder if I would be nice to you. I think behind that angry face is someone really nice.” You said. She blinked. Why would you say such a thing?  “You must be mad to think that I’m a nice person!” She said. “Maybe I am mad, but I think you can be really nice if you want to.” You said.

 Merula couldn’t hold herself back and basically tackled you on the ground. You blinked when she was staring at you from above. She was really pissed and couldn’t stand it. You were so nice to her, she couldn’t just ignore you. She suddenly pressed her lips against yours, roughly kissing you. You were surprised, but you began kissing her back. She slowly pulled away and looked down at you. “Bloody hell, Y/L/N… I think you have really driven me mad…” She muttered. “In a really good way though.” You said. She blinked. “You actually enjoyed it?” She asked surprised. “Yeah, I did. I mean, I already liked you, so getting a kiss from you is really nice.” You told her. She was baffled. “You like me? Romantically I mean?” She asked. You nodded. “Yeah, for a little while now. I mean, I guess I began having this crush on you during our third year.” You said. “Shut up and kiss me.” She muttered before she kissed you again.

 People didn’t understand how you and Merula began dating, but you didn’t care what they thought. You were happy and she slowly seemed to open up more as well. It was definitely a win-win situation. Still, you needed to convince your friends Merula was all right and you knew it would be hard to convince them. Just because you could see something good in Merula, didn’t mean they would see it too. You would just have to be patient and hope they would understand. You definitely felt happy and you could tell she was happy too. You definitely weren’t going to let her go.

#harry potter hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mobile game #hogwarts mystery imagine #harry potter imagine #imagine #reader #merula snyde #reader x merula snyde #rowan khanna #barnaby lee #gender neutral

[fireflyof-hope]

Loving the Dangerously Broken (March 2020)

DEAR MARK- I really hope the best for you, and in your life. I hope you dont end up in prison, at eastern, or dead. I hope you can get the help you need, to rewire the parts of you that are so jagged and broken, that as a survival coping mechanism to deal with such pain, your soul openly hugged insanity for any escape from your turmoil. It's not your fault, that all you know now is survival and pain. Not your fault, that you lack the ability to trust anyone, including people willing to get hurt for you, or with you if it meant lessening the weight of your pain even a tiny bit. We are products of our environments. You are living proof of how cruel this world is, and what can become of us who lose everything to live for. You are living proof that some people can live through immense pain, without having no purpose to reason to continue. You are living proof that sometimes survival wins, and even without anything to live for, you havent taken your own life. I hope one day your heart, mind, soul, spirit can find true peace. I hope humbleness and peace overcome your paranoia when you put your heart into being the best you that you can be, when you open your eyes enough to realize, that you can only save yourself, and have the power to create the outcome of your life. I dont want to see you, nor do I care for much for having contact, but the impact you had on my life, I'll never forget. You've managed to become the inner voice that lives inside me, that makes me question my own choices, and if they are logically safe for me. Your voice of reason and protection echos inside me now. I'll always love you, but love wasn't enough for us. Our damages were just far to great, neither of us being healed enough to not have anything but toxic intimate relationships. It greatly saddens me, that this whole time we've known each other, you always thought that I was trying to get you in trouble be it with cops, friends, family, exs or whoever. You always thought I was faking tears, or intentionally acting like a victim, as an attempt to make you look like a POS. Fact is, I couldnt fake tears if my life was dependeing on it. I wish now, that I never cried and allowed myself to be so broken and vulnerable around you, because you could only ever get it twisted and think badly of me when I let myself feel pain around you. You always thought more was going on than what you could see or hear, than what was even possible at times. I will forever be haunted by your suspicious comments towards me, like "What's really going on Joelle?". I felt so bad, helpless, and sometimes horrible that I didnt understand you being suspicious of me, even felt worse that I had nothing to say to you in respond, because there honestly was nothing shady or sneaky ever going on at my house, despite what you convienced yourself of and what you were set on determined to beileve. Any efforts to show you nothing was ever going on, failed because your ego was to prideful to let itself be faced with anything that gave you any room to have to question your sanity. You always over analyzed everything, and determined that you were being set up somehow, someway, by someone or something. You always thought various people were hiding from you, everywhere you went, now just my place. You somehow put it together in your head, that you'd be worth the effort, time, and the actual self neglect by not eating or using bathroom it would require from any person who had any willingness, or time to waste of thier own life, to even hide from you, while remain in the same building. I dont know a single person, who would be so absurd to take the time from their own life, their own comforts in order to stalk, or hide from you. Honestly, and logically, I believe that even your enemies wouldnt go out of thier way to waste time out of their life on such extreme levels to hide in your mom's basement, Lorenda's basement, or in a nasty attic where someone had killed themselve all for the sake of hiding from a crazy paranoid guy who constantly yelled at bickered at any noise around. Not even for shits a d giggles would a person want to hide from you. Sure you might have fucked up in life, done people dirty, or seriously hurt people, but even at that, no one would ever make personal vengeance against you what they live for. Despite what you think, I will confidently, lovingly and bluntly tell you as a matter of fact, that it is no ones life mission to destroy you or fuck with you. Wish you could see it, that you really arent that special of a person. Your paranoid thinking about people being sneaky and hiding from you was just so absurd, and even impossible when you actually try to use reason with how you thought these things. People all have thier own lifes to worry about, and I promises no one wants to take any time away from the real important things in their life all for the sake of keeping a paranoid tweaker on edge. It's not funny, not amusing to watch you distrust everyone and everything around you, even the people who have opened thier heart, and home to you. It's not a joke. You are not a joke when you get this way. It's actually very hurtful, pitiful, sad, and frustrating when you refuse to combat your paranoia with logical reason. Your so smart, I know you can combat your paranoia with your own logic and reason, if you would only try. For your own sake, I dont get why you havent even tried, other than maybe its your prideful ego, maybe the importance of being right on your first impuslive thought of what you assume is going on, just sadly means far to much to you, or maybe Kevin is right, and the even sadder possibly for why you dont try using logic or reason when you think someone is hiding from you, is that your paranoia isnt even real, that its all just a fat act you put on, because you want or like special attention from people having to question you, even if they begin to fear and hurt for your sanity. I just couldnt ever understand how nearly ever single time you let your paranoid thinking overpower your intelligence. Seriously how you be so paranoid that your intelligence vanishes in those moments, so unless either the paranoia was really a fake act, or you faked being intelligent, to hide and cover up how much of an idiot you are. I've tried hard to understand your paranoia, to understand all of you and what makes you tick as you do, I wanted so badly to help you. I have no answers, I have only theories that scare me about you faking paranoia and/or insanity, or you lying about your own intelligence. I've realized that there is just impossible for the genius that you have claimed to be, to not be able to rationalize and reason with your own paraniod behaviors and/or thoughts. Do you listen to much to your fearful and wild imagination when paranoia causes panic to settle in? Did you just imagine people sneaking around hiding from you and plotting against you? When and why do you let your imagination cross over into externally reality? Is there a trigger? Do your memories, or inner pain associated with the person who you think is hiding from you trigger painful flashbacks with the person that your mind chooses to beileve is hiding from you? At what moment within your frantic racing thoughts, do you stop being able to separate and reason what your truama and imagination have you thinking is happening, vs what is our shared external reality, aka what is really happening, where you can prove or disprove your paranoia if you allowed yourself. You always hold back, on fact checking yourself in reality. It's not hard to disprove your paranoid thoughts, if you would only try more. That's part of the issue, everytime you've been on a wild goose chase in my house, your paranoia was always 100% been wrong and disproven. I think sometimes that being right is most important to you, maybe you'd rather not even clarify for your own peace of mind, because you don't want to risk the proof or embarrassment that your mind is anything but perfect. Maybe your pride is just delicate, and you'd rather not know, than to know for sure, and admit to yourself that it's your overactive mind having an episode that's now took control of you of your reasoning skills, making you seem like a arrogant lunatic, jackass and a fool to yourself and anyone around. I'm still learning to not take it so harshly, and so personally hurtful that it can be so easy for you to beileve that the very same person who opened thier home to you, risked all they have by even associating with knowing you, who forgives you constantly, who writes to you if you go to jail, who isnt even bothered by the fact you might not be sane or even safe, and even considers you to be one with them, as if you are part of the house family, the person who got nothing but endless ride or die love for you and only seeks to nurture and sooth your paranoia in hopes it can vanish, the person that you feel safe enough to fall asleep with, the person who would stay the night in Newport in their car for you and fight the systems bullshit by your side, the same person who discards people who try to force them to cut you off, the same person who ignores the darker parts of you, the same person that wants to count on you so badly, the same person who bite off the head of any person to dare speak of you like your a monster, the same person who tries so hard with nothing but love and healing intentions to get through to your thick skull, the same person who your existence in thier life allowed your impact to be so great, the same person who broke and ditched the heart of their mexican high school sweetheart all for you, the same person who is a bit damaged and broken by life just like you, the same person who unsuccessfully tries very hard to give up on you but just can't, the same person who has a worn out heart because all the effort and energy they put into ressuraning and loving you even when it was only ever a losing battle, the same person who's effort and loyalty towards you remained unshakable, the same person who wants to hate themselve for how much they love you, the same person who recklessly gave a felon/criminal their priceless heart to only to end up feeling unappreciated and depleted entirelly, the same person who fears and hurts when your suffering, the person who wants the best for you in life whether it's with or without them in it, the same person who wants you to realize such things about yourself so you can decide how and who you want to be and gain control of your mind back, the very same person that you seemed to push away of the love of, and punish with painfully doubting everything they stood for in loving you, the same person who cherished the time they had with you in the moments that matter rather than paying any mind to your outrageous wild goose chases, the same person who would use their own body as a shield over your body when fear of being shot dead paralyzed you, the same person who continues to die and bleed out while determined to climb over your thick painful spikey wall, the same person that loves you so much that they found enough value in themselve to not have meaningless sex, the same person who has undying painful hope in you when you havent even given them a reason to continue hope, the same person who only ever wanted you to feel and accept such crazy love they have for you, the same person who gets to feel more pain than love come from you but choses to love you regardless, because they are selfsacrficing, and dont love you for their benefit, but chose to love you, for yours, the same person for forgave you at your very worse towards them, the same person who deserves so much better treatment and yet wants no one else, the same open who has nothing to hide, is a complete open book, and operates on being a healer, the same person who actually got ran over and nearly died because they couldnt help but have such adoration and fondness over you... this person, is all actually the very same person that youd rather believe is lying about no one being in the attic or whatever sneakness you think is happening, the same person that you'd rather beileve has something to hide, the same person you'd rather distrust and doubt, the same person you beileve wants you beat up or in prison, the same person you'd rather beileve cant own up to thier bullshit, that you'd rather beileve is sneaky around doing sexual acts, the same person's who house you do but dont feel safe at, the same person you enjoy calling names and lashing out at, the same person you think you read the emotion of, the same person who can be crying to themselves for thier own reasons who you heartlessly and suddenly accuse of laughing at you, the same person you think is fun to make angry, the same person that you trash the room of and show no value or respectful for, same person that you beileve is lying about noises, the same person that you think behind it all on some freak show of a malicious plot, it's the same person you think always has another agenda in mind, it's the same person who gets dragged through mud by ignoring themselve inwardly and by staying so focused on only just helping lessen your pain, paranoia, and doubts, the same person who's unconditionally loved you without expectations, same person who cant stop loving you who only hope that one day the love they have for you can reach deeper than any pain you've felt and all accusation, doubts can disappear into nothingness. The same person who's heart is broken, who's entire world shakes when facing the reality that the doubts never ended and that there was never any trust no matter what everything they tried to do right by you, the same person who feels utterly ripped into pieces by your disbelief and doubts, the same person that found love for themselve through all the pain they felt that came with loving a broken forbidden impossible person. It really breaks my heart, that this person I've described willing to endure so much, give so much, and end up so much more broken inside all for you, is in fact ME. I was just to eager to give love to someone, who had maybe never known real love, and that's on me. I should have ran when I had the chance, like anyone in thier right mind would do. I'm talking about details of your paranoia so much, because that's how our first fight started, and I beileve is the core issue in a lot of our fights. You'd rather beileve that after all I've done for you, and would do for you, that me the person who wants you to feel love greater than pain, wants you to feel the safest and be able to have internal peace and self love so that you can heal, and overcome your pain and paranoia. I want so desperately to make a difference and be the loving healer that people like you have searched for all thier life. I really do live to bring light, and hope to others, for you to even think that I could possibly have the ability to set you up, lie to you, ruin your life or do you wrong in anyway, straight crushes my soul. This whole time you've known me, you haven't really known my heart, your accusations, doubts, distrust, disbelief that I ever want to intentionally go against you, is proof of just how much of a stranger you've stayed to my heart. It hurts very badly. God only knows if you actually really do care for me, if you will ever actually read this I dont even know. You'd rather believe that I'm lying to you about people, my house, my attic over the idea of having to admit to yourself, that maybe you are losing it a bit. It's easier for you to beileve that the person who will probably intimately love you more deeply in your life than any other person is capable of is untruth, is intent on destroying what's even left on you. I dont know what to do anymore, sit with my pain and grieve it maybe, again it turns I'm that I'm just throwawayable chopped liver in the life of who Ive dearly love, with more fierce love to give that I didnt even know I had. I feel my efforts, energy, words, heart, loyalty, tears, my forgiveness, honesty, patience, pain, heartbrake is just all worthless to you. Why did you trick my heart, when you never trusted it and never even wanted it? All the pain and doubts that I've endure from you the entire time I've known you, it's all been for you, the dangerously broken one, who had managed to help me feel alive again without even meaning to. I feel like I've wasted my time and my love, on someone who couldnt even see me standing there trying to help you to carry your pain, despite any potential risk to myself. I tried to kill the monster within you with the purest love that I'm capable of, and yet that same monster it seems, would rather kill the light within me, than let down its guard and wholeheartedly believe that someone be capable of loving it and embracing it as if it were my own. Your monster is a reflection of your soul's deepest pain, and it doesnt scare me. I've never considered you to be a joke or a fool with your paranoia. I know that you arent a joke, and my heart doesnt operate of thinking it's funny to see such loved ones hurting. It pisses the fuck off you think I'm some sick person who is capable of laughing at your misery. Ive loved you with the purest love and intentions I've had to give, and it wasn't even good enough. In you thinking your pain, brings me laughter to any degrees has again shown more proof that you've actually stayed a stranger to my heart. I've never been called a liar or accused of being a sick fuck that enjoys when people hurt in ALL of my entire life until you. You really dont think healers, who selflessly try to better the world and give impossible broken people like you hope actually exist dont you? Your a stranger to my heart, because you dont even believe what drives my heart to continue to beat even through my own brokenness. Why did you asked if I was an angel all those times, when you wouldnt beileve me anyway? Im someone with such a powerful heart and the rare gift of such intense love to give that has the power to move mountains. And here I am moving mountains for someone who doesnt even see me, stretching myself out so thin, with just barely enough hope that it will all me something to you. I really hope that you didnt just act out your paranoia this entire time for your own amusement. I hope I fell for a real person, and not some gaint act. I'm the joke and the fool for possibly loving a felon and a person who might live thier life acting. I will straight say with nothing but love for you, that your paranoid thoughts have always been 110% WRONG. I know you couldnt help it, you just knew survival so well, and the things that you've already been through. Never have I tried to get you in trouble purposely. Never had even been a throught or objective of mine. I DONT live my life with the agenda of destroying broken souls. Broken soul and me find each other naturally, yes, but I just try to shine light on reasons to get back up again when their darkest is drowning them, when pain is to intense to see any good in life, I can only try to show them any reason, light, hope to not give up on themselves. I dont live my live trying to ruin people that I love. I just dont, that is my word, mind, heart, soul and my bond. That is what makes me, me. The whole reason I ever took my chances with you as a roommate even though, I knew you were a wrecking ball, because i saw behind those sad eyes, behind the hustling, behind the needles, behind the drug use, behind the distrust and paranoia of the world, were such loud soul wrecking- ear piercing cries for help, cries for love, even though you already knew that you didnt know how to accept what you really longed for most, unconditional love. Someone who would get you, understand all of you, and still love you through all the pain, anger, bad, grief, passion, love, darkness, selfishness, selflessness, stubbornness, abusiveness towards yourself & others. I live trying to build broken people up by bringing out their rawness and showing them, even at their worse, they deserve to feel loved to. I live my life trying to bring people light and hope, because I'm lost and broken myself and in helping people, i find reason not to kill myself. I loved to feel needed, love to nurture, love to pant seeds of hope in the shattered hopeless souls and hearts. I love to feel like I'm making a real difference for anyone in life, even if I only made a difference for but a moment in another's life. I dont know if i actually make a difference to you, and that's okay. In my heart I've succeeded in how I had shown you, that even your darkest, your most feared demons deserve to be loved, unconditionally. If only you had felt loved all your life, those demons wouldnt have such power within you, if only the world didnt rob you of being a father, how much different of a person you would be. Love is foolish, and I love all of you, just as you are. I've always been me, Mark. The girl who tries to bring people back to life, because I painfully understand all to well what that inner void feels like of having lost all that I was living for. No lies. No bullshit. No acting. I PROMISE you that no one has ever hid from you in my attic, accept for me myself when I needed space. You always wanted me to and demanded of me to "own up to my bullshit" in your hurtful accusatory ways, well fine. Here we go. I'll proudly own up to it, and who I've become now. I own up to how I allowed myself to fall in love with the most too far gone, most broken, most dangerous, most worthwhile, most doubtful, most hurtful, most strongest at surviving, most saddest, most childlike, and yet the most wise wild and goofy person, that I've ever known in my life, and although there is continually great heavy pain, I will never regret having known you, and you cant make me. I will love you, with or without contact. My spirit stays with you. You can run, you can hide, but my love for you is carried inside. The person who had been my greatest life mentor and teacher in my life, as been unregrettably, non the less, you Mark Conner. Maybe it wasn't me who was suppose to make a difference in your life, maybe it was you who purpose was to completely shake and rock my entire heart and world.... and my goodness, you fucking did! I now have new strength, self love, and survival instincts within myself, that I didnt know even existed. I'd rather have an empty bed, and no cuddles than to be with less that I deserve, than to tolerant bullshit treatment from myself, or anyone else. I feel okay being alone now. Actually okay in my own skin now. Holy shit the chick who tried to pay $200 to kevin just for cuddles, the chick who brought $100 stuffed animal to cuddle, the chick who had reckless sex and let people use her with just mere hope that someone could really love me, need me, just a little bit. Im the very co dependent chick, who never couldnt picture herself single, never picture myself alive without no man at my side, and with no kids at my side to pour my precious love into. Im the burdensome chick who was always desperate for closeness, would settled for anyone who would give it. Your own darkness and pain brought to light for me, my own inner power, and as it turns out, I'm dont being prey that men/predators thirst for and seek out to just use and discard. Done playing the mental games of others who I was just trying to show them the way out of consuming darkenss. I know now, my thoughts and my reactions to my thoughts and feelings, are what allow me to be the creator of the outcomes in my life. Even if you really truly are a hopeless tweaker, a monster, or some unsolved mysterious wonder Mark, I refuse to accept that there is no hope for you, even if you've made a mess out of my heart by turning me to chopped liver by trusting paranoia over love. I refuse to beileve you cant do better for yourself. I refuse to think your future will be in prison or eastern. I gave up on us as a couple, at least for now, but I havent, and will not give up on you as a person. Your heart feeling sincerely loved, is worth all the pain I've endured, that I'd go through repeatly for you if I had to. All I can do is still have hope for you, for YOUR sake, because you deserve to not live in such torment, to never be able to feel safe, to never feel trust, to always think that something, or someone, somewhere is plotting against you no matter where your at or who your around. I've fallen for and have embraced and chosen to love the toxic impossible parts of you, even if I do discarded, or dont feel loved in return. I dont love you without expectations for my benefit, I love you for your benefit. You would not be you, without your imperfections, and I love every bit of you so much, that I cant be around to watch you destroy/hurt yourself, and/or your loved ones unintentionally. I know when you hurt others and are aware of it, the painful guilt you have to live with inside, for surviving the ways the you knew how, is your greatest enemy. You are you own enemy. You hold yourself to the highest standards. You can't forgive yourself either, that grudge you hold against yourself is so power, that you cant see it when others have already forgiven you and have attempted to move forward with you in the present moment. Your own survival game is real. Your intense af, and your brokeness, your intense emotions, your pain, your will to survive, is how I was able to feel alive again, instead of just floating around like some darkness engulfed broken depressed empty lifeless thing that only desired for death. That isnt me anymore, thanks to knowing you, and mostly thanks to me for seeing myself through my own loving eyes and ways. One day I hope Mark that your PTSD gets treated, and that you can learn how to just live and cruise through life enjoy all life has to offer instead of fear it. One day I hope you can feel safe in your own skin, with the people who love you. Home is where the heart is, but your heart is in so much pain, that your in denial of even having a safe loving home. Your insecurity and vindictiveness got you to cut my vibrator cord at some point, and has your goodbye to me, you poured gatorade on my jeep seat like a child having a tantrum as if I had done something to even deserve that episode from you in my jeep, joke is on me for loving the impossible. I went from being all eager to feel valued and worthy by a good steady stable man, to developing actual self value. Im awake now, and there is no going back. No one can take that away self value from me, and it cant abandon me. Your solo ways, have taught me much needed tools to get through life when it storms. I dont care about our feelings towards each other, I just care that you one day can see and feel your own inner power to. I'd often wonder if there was a God, how dare you have been made to suffer all your life, but your right when you told Trina when we were both in Springdale, that "God wouldnt ever give us more than we could handle." Your darkness, your incredible survival rate, the deep footprints (or should I say BMX tire tracks) that you leave behind you, that you left on my heart, are very loud, and impossible to be overlooked by someone with a very rare and real heart like mine. The broken who cant escape darkness because they chose to run back into the fire (pits of hell) trying to save people from bone chilling pain, because we understood it, and have endured it ourself with no real escape. Empaths, healers, people who can see the good in you, know what I'm talking about. You showed survival be possible with nothing to live for, and you lead the way, for probably not just me, but others who have lost their way and own sense of hope or belonging. If you couldnt see no way, you created a way, and I'll cherish witnessing how you could start from nothing, and how you just kept going, no matter the curveballs. You didnt surrender your life to this hell, even when you've felt dead and hopeless inside, even when the flames gave you third degree burns. Your living prove at how possible life is, even when you have nothing, but yourself. "Coming in hot!!" You'd say. Damn right you are hot, you came into my life on fire from both hell and holy flames. You can light a fire within anyone, who can see into and feel your very wounded, yet shattered warrior soul, or at least, you did for me. I hope that counts as something towards you finding self love. I want you to see your value, through my eyes, my heart, my soul. I want you to feel it in the core of your being and never doubt that you are so very loved, never doubt that you make a difference in someone's life, to love yourself enough to be able to stop thinking that your just a failure, to stop thinking that your loved ones think or fear that your just some psycho monster. You ignited my healing firefly flames again, which were well burnt out after my divorce, Trench suicide, Ordai's betrayal, and my children having to live in a different place than me. I'm a firefly Mark, I was given that nickname for a very real reason, when times are dark, I still have light flickering, even if the darkest of places, it's my gift to still have light and life within me to share when others have died inside. I'm glad we touched each others lifes. I had no beacon of hope, until you, I was always the person, everyone themselves turned to for help... it was finally my turn to get the help, get the inner healing, that I didnt realize I ever needed, through knowing and having such love developed for you inspite the pain. You unintentionally lead the way, and even paved it for me. Us going through our own individual inner hells, and how you left me alone at the many times when you knew I could handle it. You didnt piggyback me through hardships, instead coldly, and harshly, you demanded I got up and fought my will to die away, you didnt jump in and saved me from my self hating bullshit, you did more more for me. By watching you torment yourself mentally, you brutally and painfully taught me the strength it takes and how to have power over my own darkness that tries to control my life. You showed me, and unknownly taught me how to save myself. For that, I will always be thankful. Mentally a lot of what we both went through together was just flat abusive, but through the sick mental illnesses we both suffered, and the shit that we dragged each other through, I've trained myself very well in adapting whatever life throws at me. Stress doesnt break me anymore. Rarely does anything scare me anymore, I'm scared of loved ones dying, scared of unintentionally hurting people I love, but that is about it for my fears. I want you to face it, like a man should, that whether you believe yourself to be a prison/drug/felony flats-made monster, You just might of did something good, and wonderful, and life/heart/soul changing for someone you love in your life. I want you to own it that you arent all bad, that through your existence, I picked up on self love, self value, and survival tactics. I also didnt know had it in me to love such scary, damaged, spung out of their mind, hurtful yet loving in balanced ways, unpredictable, unstable, controlling, broken, addicted, pos, dangerous and yet safe, insane, older gentlemen with southern/Christian ethics, and just all around love a person who could actually survive so much pain. I'm your biggest fan and cheerleader. Ordai a long time ago when he first left Feb 2019, Nick told him that my buddy would go after him with a gun. I'm sure or at least hope that Ordai knows kevin now, and can see how ridiculous it was back than to be in fear of Kevin coming after him with a gun, but Nick had created those fears in Ordai, in hopes ordai wouldnt come around me ever again. But as it turns out no was ever gun needed, I was given something far more special in meeting and falling in love with you. Thank the universe, the trees, Kevin, drugs, ex roommates, Ordai for first leaving me, or even thank God for me knowing you, because I now wield a secret invisible gun at my side, thats well cared for, well polished, and locked away when it's not needed. This gun that I call self love and survival, is the only weapon I need, and it was you that taught me how to aim with it. I'm unbreakable now. Thank you Mark, if you get nothing out of this message, than please just try to be good to yourself, gentle on yourself, because you do create inner miracles within at least with me. You will never be a lost cause, no matter how much you try, it's to late for you to not have worth to me. Your impact on my life, is part of who I am now. I didnt even figure that in loving a man so much who is so rough and jagged around the edges, a felon, a broken surving badass who lost so much in life, that I'd end up becoming a badass myself. May warmth, and love, not doubt or paranoia follow you, and be with you everywhere. THE AFTERMATH & PROCESSING OF MY THOUGHTS Now I'm realize, my upbringing.... it wasn't my fault, I didnt ask for it, I didnt do anything wrong to deserve it, that my parents neglectfulness wasn't because they didnt love me and my brother. But it was only because they both had a very deep lack of love for themselves, and learned to cope through making pain with emotion numbing substancesain order to survive. I cant even be mad at my parents as an adult for kt. They didnt mean it. Nor could they even ever comprehend the long-term outcome it would have on thier full grown children unable to stop questioning love, and at a painful war with having to decide to chose whether or not to hate themselve, or to love themselve. I realized we each have our own power within us, and I will be a model of self love now, no more self destructive bullshit. My children will know love. They will feel so overall loved and overwhelmed with love, that they wont have to experience questioning the love either of their parents have for them. My children deserve to have a mother who loves herself and can thrive and be happy, with or without a partner. I'm worth the entire world to my kids whether I'm with them or not, and that wont go unnoticed by me again. Loving myself shouldnt be to difficult, now that I chose to open my eyes, and see my priceless value. I'm actually not the garbage that I treated myself to be. I let the actions, or lack of actions of others hurt me a good bit, but I know that I'm not chopped liver. I have so much to give to myself, and those who have endlessly loved me when I couldnt love myself. I have so much to live for. My existance can and might one day be just one living proof of an example for other shattered by life, broken and self hating souls. Through how I love and live, maybe people can start to uncover their own inner voice, worth, and love. Its amazing at how much power and control we have in our lifes, to share with all we cross paths with, if we chose to take back our life and become our own pilots. Its magically to become the love that I've needed my entire life, instead of putting it in the hands of others, instead of burying the ability to love myself because I blamed myself for my life, instead of substance abuse, instead of lashing out and hurting others we love out of never knowing how to accept being loved. I think I might have figured out a major life hack, and the short cut to inner healing through our own childhood and past relationships.This shortcut to happiness might be real? What we think, we create and become, we are the masters of ourselves. The answers to how to be alone, and not dependent on another's value and love for us, can only be found within our own self. Not another person, not substances, not money, not travel, not sex, not working, and not escaping from reality with friends, tv, videos games or school are part of it. Gotta be okay with facing yourself, head on without distractions. I've tried so hard, and for such a long time to hope for a sincere strong willed, adventurous, steady, and stable, man, who just incapable of abandonment, abuse, or giving up without any effort. I wanted my fairytale to be real, wanted a man to come along and magically love me unconditionally in the ways my broken self had always freely given, but had gone without. Ive learned that no perfect match for me exists. The joke was on me, but the fact is, I acccidentally fell in love with the least likely type of person that I would ever let in or trust in my life and heart. I blindy fell for someone and I knew it was the most toxic relationship that I would ever experience, yet my idiotic heart didnt care. I learned that happy ever after is a overrated unreal concept. Through this on and off crazy yoyo relationship I had over the period of a year with Mark, I started to give up entirelly on the idea of my heart being unconditionally loved and accepted without expections. I seemed to feel accepted just for being me with all my intenseness, my wildness, my BPD, my selfless ride or die love, and my total inner indecisiveness about whether I'm monogamous, polyamorous, open to kinks, or if I had just enjoyed bring healing energy to others through intimacy. All I knew was that just once, I didnt want to feel like loving all of me would be such an inconvenience for someone, just once I wanted to experience feeling that I was more than enough, instead of less than what was hoped for. I dont know if the cupid in my life just is a wingnuts or what happened, because I fell in love with the complete opposite of what I'd ever search for within a potential partner. I fell for the most broken, dangerous, controlling, closed minded, arrogant, possessive, needy, lost, abusive and damaged soul that I had ever come to know. The hardest part about loving this person, was how full of expections he was for me, and how he didnt agree with how the healer within me freely gave endless love to broken souls like ourselves. He couldnt love the core healer that I truly was inside, that even make me, me. The only reason I even could befriend this guy in the beginning, was because the way my healing empathic heart could hear and even feel the pain his heart would sing. It seemed he was only out to try change and shape my heart. It seemed that his greed wanted to kill the healer inside of me, instead of love me for the healer that I was.... This experience taught me so much. I wasn't willing to bend to his demands and expections, I wanted to be free to be true to myself. Many times I'd be feeling so down on myself about his treatment towards me, I'd isolate myself to my room out of fear of upsetting him if I was to try to hang out with my roommates. I allowed him to put distance between me and others, and even allowed his presents in my life and home chase people away from me. At times I didnt even feel like my life was my own, I just did what was I told, just did what I knew was allowed, just barely even allowed myself to move, use my phone at all, or cook or use the bathroom, or even breath in the wrong way with him around me, because that was the only way to stop the painful demeaning nonstop doubts and accusations. I automatically started obeying all his passive aggressive signals, in order to keep any sense of peace in my life. I felt trapt as my life became constantly just tipy toeying on eggshells, receiving lots of concerned looks from friends and very bad inner anxiety in the mist of trying to keep the most impossible, dangerously broken man happy at the cost of allowing myself to get robbed of everything I was.... I stopped feeling like this man loved or cared for me at all, because while I was being a stranger to myself, he was a stranger to my heart. My feelings and emotions when mentioned went entirely ignored, or back fired on me and gave him reasons to guilt me into feeling worthless by just trying to be me. Only he mattered, his greed, no one and nothing else. My voice, values, beliefs werent ever even heard in his mind. He just demanded that he be the Alfa while telling me hurtful things to crush my spirit. I couldnt use my phone, playing video games, do art, or listen to my own music without his attitude changing on me, he was okay with my entire life stopping, if it meant that my focus was on him and nowhere else be it person, animal, nature, errand, or hobby. I wanted this man to feel loved so badly, wanted him to trust me, to stop doubting me, so I willingly self sacrificed, overlooking myself, my own free will, because I had desperately hoped it would all be for something, hoped with time that he would loosen up, that he would open his eyes and realize just how much he was suffocating the life out of me. He didnt, it didnt get better, when I expressed how at times everyone needs breaks from each other, his grip on me would get even tighter. At times it got to the point in our fights to where I'd just have to take off, away from him, to where I'd find myself hiding from him in my own house silently letting tears fall, because only in that very moment of hiding, could I even seriously fully take deep breaths again. It's threw going through this time with him, that I gained a backbone with how I would let him treat me. The break I got from him felt so good, that I learned to pamper myself in the little moments I had to myself. I began to learn self love through this scary possessive abusivness. I learned that I could never do right by him, and that he would always need someone to control of entire day of in his life. After learning that from someone who also loves him and been in my shoes, naturally my heart and adoration started to repell and withdraw from him. It was about time that i embraced some of the love that I freely gave away and would throw into the darkness hoping it would touch the life of someone who'd value and cherish it. It's about time that I allowed my own damaged heart, to grieve, heal, and feel the absolute love that I carried within myself. It was a lucky miracle that became and gave to myself what I couldnt find in a man. I literally embodied and became love, as a result of feeling of the lack of safe comforting love, and no one can take it from me. That is such power. My life is my life. I'm responsible for myself, not the entire world. I must be good to myself first, so others can witness and feel the best of my healing heart and soul, so it wont be hard for others to just naturally feel they are valued and loved by me, instead of having to only witness and share in just feeling the pain I hadn't accepted within myself. I am much more than just my darkness. I do more than just drown, in fact I was giving up feeling alive, before my own survival called bullshit and my own hidden will to live forced me to learn to stand up for myself and on my own. I survived it all, but the fact that I had allowed myself to go through such a thing, reflected that I was my own worst enemy. Sure that I took a dangerous risky route, to find self love. That it did in fact take me falling in love with, and seeing the only the best within a very deeply disturbed, broken, truamatized, and paranoid person who needs the type of help that goes beyond my control and power, to see that the only way to survive through the dark hardships of life, and the pain that comes with unconditionally loving impossible people, was to learn to love myself, find truth and beauty in my own pain and grow from it instead of become a monster myself. I'd learn to be, what I needed and couldnt find. I wish for all the broke souls I love in my life, for their eyes, hearts, minds to be open to their own inner power. This abusive man who I very dearly do love, torments himself greater than it even be possible for another human to do to him. It was honestly through being part of watching him destructively cope with his sadness, paranoid thinking, helplessness, unforgiveness and lack of trust towards himself, and the inner misery he inflicts on himself, that I was even able to recognize myself, and how much I was alike to him within our inner pain. I felt trapt in ways of never knowing how to stop repeatly breaking myself through using the pain I've lived to justify all ill treatment towards myself from myself and all my interactions with people. He cant save himself, but he isnt a failure. Somehow he taught me how to save myself by isolating and silencing me, by being my most toxic relationship, and by watching him drown himself and survive the entire time. It was through the worse mental pain I felt and seen in life, that wasn't even my own that I was lucky to been gifted such an ability to intensely directly empath the pain from Mark's inner turmoil. It was within hurting so deeply and helplessly for him while he allowed himself to burn alive and internally suffer deeper as he lashed out and hurt people who he said he loved, that Mark had accidentally showed me the way out of our own inner hell. I didnt want him to hurt alone, didnt want him to roll over and surrender his life, so i let the flames that continued to burn and consume his fragmented self, also lick me. I tolerated absurd bullshit and treatment for long, because that is the nature of my love, to ways forgive, to ways see the best, to kill everything I know with love. I willing chose to love the darkness and demons that had shown him how to survive. I decided that it was wrong of me to have expectations on how he should love me, especially when he couldnt even love himself, and was quickly becoming more and more of a stranger to my heart. I only started diving into self love, because I had helplessly hoped for so long that Mark would find it for himself, so that he could be able to heal and see the endless love and light that lays right beyond the all consuming pain that keeps his soul dead. I love myself now, I had to learn it quickly for my own survival and sanity after I would embrace his flames, and let them surround me with flame kisses and burn me alive, along with him. Mark is like that of a burn victim. The on going effects of his trauma have been everlasting. I got out and away from my hell engulfing me, I can only hope that he isnt too far gone himself, and that he would stop squeezing his eyes so tightly shut from the pain he experiences. If he just opens his eyes wide enough to see, there is a way out, that pain doesnt have to consume him, that only he can put his own fire out, and find inner love and forgiveness for himself, how much he could change his entire life around. He just needs to see and come back to reality just enough to register that the waterhose to put the fire's flames out he is already gripping in his hand. He can stop the burning so easy, so quickly and regain his life back, find his self love, just like I'm doing, he just has to chose the outcome he wants in life.

[calumcest]

i'm the least creative person ever but if i ever think of a good idea for the wilde kerle au i will let you know thank you 💕 oh wait can i request that one as an au for prompt lists as well? oh yes you really sound very different depending on the language but i still think your personality comes across very well in german too. like at the end when you talked about noel that was the moment i went 'yes this is definitely helen.' 🙊 (1/4)

(2/4) really i agree especially since i tend to just start talking without thinking about what point i'm trying to make and that always ends with me forming kafka-like sentences and also completely forgetting which verb i started with. struggles. also might be the fact that i'm basically asleep while typing this but can you give me an example for the wurde/geworden/worden problem bc i can't place it rn.

(3/4) oh but i think it's really sweet how you say noel but i'm also just really in love with your accent 😅 oh my god if i thought of au as 'au' i never would've taken that seriously i would've died laughing everytime i saw it. RIGHT? THANK YOU. and well i think it's an ba-wü thing but it could also be a general deep south germa thing i'm not sure. maybe austria is in on it too. and about stand by me: i actually haven't heard the acoustic i have to listen to it immediatly

(4/4) & oh yes i know what you mean i love these lyrics so much. i mean as i said i love the entire song and it comforts me a lot actually especially those lines. & i hope you get some cold days soon!! we even had thunderstorms here but they did fuck all to help with the heat so that sucked. anyway hope you manage to deal with it 💕 oh & thank you for giving me soulmate lashton content it was wonderful i missed them so much 🙈 -spoiler twin

i mean PLEASE i really enjoyed writing it i cant lie to you i might have to go and rewatch the films so i can actually remember the plot beyond ‘football’ and ‘jimi blue’ how the fuck did they milk like 6 films out of that seriously impressive but yes honestly request whatever u like i’m happy to write anything in the wk verse skjdnfsjf

SNKDFJNSKJDF thats so funny i love that its me talking about noel that brings my personality out in spades <3 thats so sweet though i always feel like i’m about 30% of myself in german bc i always wanna make jokes but by the time i’ve strung the sentence together the moments passed and if i start without thinking abotu it i’ll realise halfway through the sentence that i dont know the vocab and so the joke doesnt land. incredibly stressful 

omg LITERALLYYYY i cant lie to you sometimes i end up just restructuring the entire sentence like omg you know when youre tlaking to someone and you dont know if its a du/sie situation? and youre like könnte man mir die butter reichen? :) also omg no i just meant like würde geworden is an incredibly clumsy-sounding sentence structure to me even though obviously i know its correct like when you read something that says ich würde geworden sein and youre like how many FUCKING verbs do you want 

omg please i cant believe you actually like mya ccent that still is like !! nobody ever likes my accent skdbfwhef i sound soooo harsh i think all my mates that arent from round here always make fun of it skdfjnwehjfb but omg my oma is swabian and she doesnt say that i dont think im going to have to ring her and be like say china. and see if i need to emancipate myself 

omg i fucking love stand by me ALSO idk if you know but noel did a whole like acoustic show that got turned into an album and the acoustic version of slide away is sooooo pretty its called the dreams we have as children live for teen cancer trust HIGHLY recommend checking that out if you havent already

omg i know we had loads of thunderstorms too but it just made it proper humid it was vile </3 aaaaaah i’m glad you enjoyed!! i May have mosto f the next chapter written...Maybe... 

#spoiler twin #cannot Disclose... #Anonymous #helen answers

[adambstingus]

100 Things All Women Need To Know About Men (According to 100 Men)

Found on AskReddit.

1. Men aren’t mind readers.

Men arent mind readers…if you want something, be direct.

2. Guys are shy, too.

Guys are shy, too. Don’t be afraid to walk up and talk.

3. Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

4. If you want a ‘bad boy,’ expect to be treated badly.

Don’t tell me you don’t like me because I’m a ‘nice guy’ and that most girls like ‘bad boys, and then come looking for a shoulder to cry on when he cheats on you or treats you like shit. Instead, go fuck yourself. I don’t care, because you got what you deserved. Next time, try looking for someone who cares about you, even if they’re ‘too nice.

5. It’s not OK to physically assault men, period.

It’s not OK to physically assault men, period. It doesn’t matter how small you are and how big the guy is. If you don’t disagree, walk away, voice your concern, or speak to the law.

6. We are just as emotionally complex as women are.

Men’s emotional lives are, pretty much across the board, just as complex and nuanced as women’s.

Also, there’s a whole ecosystem of subtle communication, competition, and one-upmanship between men (think Alpha/Beta but way more complicated) that is probably largely invisible to you.

We’ve had to navigate through it all our whole lives and sometimes it stinks.

7. Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too.

Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too; even just minor ones feel nice.

8. We are not machines. We are human, too.

We are not machines. We get sick. We can cry. We can be goofy or funny. We can be weak or scared. We can go limp. We can complain. We can be nice and sweet. Don’t make men out to be machismo meatheads who just walk around looking for sex and expect us to always be strong and confident and take charge on every single little thing. We are human, too. It’s not bad to be a nice guy.

9. Some of us actually are hopeless romantics.

That some of us actually are hopeless romantics. We want to find true love, too. Even then we will still make mistakes. Some of us it will be really stupid and think that we want different women just because that’s the way we are programmed. And sometimes it takes something big to make us realize that’s not what we want.

10. You shouldnt smack us down for showing emotions.

“ If we open up to you, let us do it instead of smacking us down for being emotional, you’ll have a friend for life.

Don’t assume what movies teach about men is at all accurate; seriously, my last girlfriend did and was perpetually worried I’d cheat even though I find the concept abhorrent.

If we’re quiet, it means we’re thinking, not angry.

We have a strong desire to protect the women in our life, whether that be our wife, our sister, or our grandmother even. We do get overprotective due to an admittedly over-reliance on our gut feelings, and we’re aware it’s annoying you, but humor us and you may be surprised with the results.

A mans younger siblings are extremely important; do not insult them if you want us to stay. Talking from experience here.

We worry over our bodies constantly, media bombards us with an ideal you have to work for years to attain and keep, similar to women, let us talk about it if we need to.

I’ll say it again: IF WE OPEN UP TO YOU, LET US!!! DON’T FUCKING SMACK US DOWN FOR BEING EMOTIONAL OR UNMANLY FFS.

11. Rom-coms don’t work in real life.

You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life. Seriously.

12. Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis.

Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis. It’s not a fucking game; sometimes shrinkage happens, sometimes I’m just not in the mood. I know that it’s just a game to you, but for us it’s a really big deal. Don’t know why, don’t care why, it just is.

13. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, so I won’t treat you like a princess.

No I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.

14. If you keep asking whether we’re angry with you, eventually we will be.

On disagreements: Sometimes a man will disagree with you. He has reasons for it. If you present an argument, and he abruptly says OK, fine, it means you have convinced him. It probably does not mean he’s angry with you. If you then ask, Are you angry at me? and he says no, he isn’t. But if you keep asking, then eventually he will be. Or maybe it’s just me.

15. Don’t use sex as a weapon.

If you weaponize sex, that’s a quick way for us to resent you. And of course if you do not want to do it you should not, but if you treat sex like it is some kind of privilege that your guy should only get it if he has been a good boy and treat it like a reward rather than a romantic and intimate activity that is equally pleasurable for the both of you, then that is a great way to kill any affection your guy has for you.

16. We are afraid of rejection.

Fear of rejection can be downright terrifying. I am lucky that my wife was direct and asked me out.

17. Give us the benefit of the doubt.

Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.

18. We don’t think about sex every seven seconds.

Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds. I read this from some womens magazine whilst waiting in the dentist’s office. These womens magazines perception of men is ridiculous.

19. Just say, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ if you don’t want to go out with us.

My deal is, if I ask a girl out and she’s not interested, saying, Sorry, no thanks or a variation thereof is perfectly acceptable. I’ll be more than happy to move the fuck on.

20. Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our minds.

Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our mind. You might think we’re having doubts about all this and things are going to shit so you start acting like it and then it gets all messed up and it’s over. The truth is we’re probably just thinking about the last episode of or something like that. If you want to know, ask!

21. Nonsense behavior will cause us to pull back.

We’re perfectly willing to invest, but nonsense behavior will, little by little, cause us to disinvest. That time you said you were upset and when I asked why, you said, Guess?I pulled back a little. When you started crying instead of articulating your feelings? I pulled back a little. When you developed double standards regarding behaviors that are okay for you but NOT for me? I pulled back A LOT.

22. Do not belittle our cocks.

Unless the guy is super hung, any insinuation that his cock is even a little less than ideal in terms of size hurts a lot. Even some hung guys actually feel like their cock is too small.

23. Say what you mean.

If you say something we’re most likely going to take it at face value.

Example:

Guy: Hey babe I’m going to go play cards at Zach’s tonight is that all right?

Girl: Yeah, that’s fine, stay out all night, I’m going to bed anyway.

Guy:

The guy was giving her the option to keep him home and she told him she was fine with it and she was tired.

24. Mean what you say.

This game of know what I want without me telling you bullshit has got to stop. I’m not a fuckin mind reader. I’m not in a relationship/marriage to play mind games. Tell me what’s on your mind or how you really feel, the guessing games must end. Alternatively, if you would rather me not do something, don’t tell me, ‘No, go ahead it’s fine,’ than get pissed when I do it. Just tell me you’d rather me not.

25. Stop hinting and just tell us what you want.

Your hints are useless. Say what you want. Also, when we pee sometimes we still get some on the floor. Even as adults.

26. If you want to see us happy, just get naked.

Trust me, when a woman is naked, 99% of the time we are happy beyond compare. No matter what you think you look like.

27. If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex.

If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex. If youre just going to lie there like a rag doll while we hump away, it gets boring real quick. Fuck, I could go service myself twice as fast with half the exertion if thats all its about. And on a related note, dont take masturbation personally. Its a literal physical need for men. Imagine walking around for a week with loaded sinuses and being told not to blow your nose. Thats literally how it feels down there when we’re backed up. Let us relieve a little pressure and get off our fucking backs. Its not about you.

28. If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you.

If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you. If you are getting a lot of maybes and excuses, just move on.

29. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

When a guy is constantly doing all the initiating, all of the oral, and all of the work with no reciprocation, don’t act surprised when he stops calling. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

I’ve heard a lot of, Well, I do a lot! Like x, y, and z! Just because it isn’t in the bedroom doesn’t mean it doesn’t count! Yes. Yes, it does mean it doesn’t count when we’re talking about sex. Doing nice things outside the bedroom doesn’t translate into appreciation for what you’re receiving inside the bedroom.

It’s like giving a dog a treat three days after he brings you the paper. How’s he know WTF you just gave him a treat for?

30. Bars aren’t the best place to meet the best guys.

There exist men willing to have serious relationships with youbut those men probably don’t spend their time at bars chatting you up the first time you glance in their direction.

31. Sometimes we just like to hold our balls.

Sometimes, when we’re on the couch, we just like to hold our balls. We’re not sexually aroused, we just like to hold them and know they are there.

32. If you routinely slap your man’s hand away, don’t be surprised if he stops reaching.

If you routinely slap your man’s hand away when he reaches for sex…don’t be surprised if he gets the point and stops reaching.

33. We quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings.

Assuming you’re dealing with a normal male, what we say is what we mean, and what we mean is what we say. Any hidden meanings are a fiction invented by you; we don’t use that channel to communicate.

Conversely, do not use obfuscated communication methods with men for important topics; the odds of us missing or misinterpreting such a communication are high.

Do not talk about problems unless you are prepared to discuss the solution.

If we say we don’t care, we don’t. Especially as regards what we eat. If we say we don’t care, we’re not saying we don’t care who we eat with or whether we’ll eat, only that we don’t care we eat or we eat.

We’re generally shit at going to the doctors or dentists. Even in countries where healthcare is free. Remind us to check for cancer from time to time, or do it for us where possible/appropriate.

Our emotions tend to build up over time, as we quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings. Fortunately, they also fade over time without any obvious outlets, so only sustained angst or serious trauma will have a long-lasting effect.

34. Don’t be nice when rejecting us.

Don’t be nice when rejecting someone. I’m a grown adult and can handle being told no. Just the other day I asked a girl what her plans were Friday and I got a I work all weekend because it’s graduation weekend, but maybe next time!

That could be a hint or genuine statement. Don’t leave shit up in the air, just be straight with us because for the love of god MEN CANNOT READ WOMENS MINDS.

P.S. If you get mad at me for something I did in a dream (I thought people joked about this until it happened to me), I now think youre batshit insane and rule number one is never stick your dick in crazy.

35. We love your big butt in those jeans.

Your butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin love it.

36. We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound.

We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound. Omg, i love your shirt! You are soooo. Funny!

37. Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you.

Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you. It makes things a lot easier than saying, Oh, sorry I cant make it my grandma died…my dog is sick…I have to do XYZ. Its a shitty hint, especially after having a seemingly engaging string of conversations.

38. A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

39. Ignore all romantic advice from rom-coms.

Every piece of romantic advice you’ve gotten from a rom-com should be jettisoned as fast as possible. Hard to get does not work. Subtle hints are not going to be picked up on. There is no minimum waiting period for replying to texts, agreeing to a second date, resuming communicationanything. Put your cards on the table and be upfront. Men don’t hate a woman who says no; if anything, most men will be grateful that they can just move on. The happiest relationship I’ve ever been in began in one whirlwind night: We went from first date to drinks after to apartment in a single evening. I’m going to marry her once my bank balance has room for a ring in it.

40. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language.

Men are not fucking mind readers. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language. We play draughts, not chess.

41. Men don’t drop subtle hints.

When I ask, Do you know where the remote is?, I am not asking you to look for the remote. When I ask, Is this basket of laundry clean or dirty?, I am not asking you to do the laundry. When I say, We’re all out of milk, I am not asking you to drop everything and go shopping. For fuck’s sake, I’m just trying to exchange information with you. I’m not trying to drop subtle hints that I am unhappy and need you to do something, my God.

42. Please respect our privacy.

Oh yes, another thing: If I tell you, Please respect our privacy, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, and you turn around and tell all your friends…I will be upset and the relationship will probably not last.

43. If you say, ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ we will believe you.

If we ask, What’s wrong? and you answer, Nothing, we will behave exactly as if everything is OK.

44. Don’t try to make us jealous by talking about other guys.

Mentioning how many guys are going for you/chasing you doesn’t create the narrative of, Oh damn, she’s a hot commodity, better try harder. Instead its, Fuck, chasing her seems like it would be a lot of drama, better skip this one.

45. We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

46. All men are different and they should be treated as such.

All men are different and they should be treated as such.

47. If you want us to do something, expect that we’ll do it our way.

If you want me to do something, expect that I’ll do it my way. If you want something done your way, you fuckin do it. This is the price of delegation.

48. We’re not always in the mood for sex.

Just because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.

49. If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you.

If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you. A self-deprecating joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.

50. We’re not interested in playing stupid games.

We can see through the Im fine bullshit. But if you say it three times, we’re going to let it go. It’s not because we aren’t aware it’s bullshit, and it’s not because we don’t careit’s because we’re not interested in playing stupid games.

51. If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends.

If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.

52. Just tell us what you want to eat!

What do you want to eat. pls.

53. If you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

Most of us don’t get subtle hints; if you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

54. We can’t always tell when you’re flirting.

Don’t forget that one woman’s subtle hint’ is another woman’s ‘What? Are you kidding? I was fixing my hair, not flirting, you creep.

55. Your enthusiasm is what makes sex good for us.

What makes sex good? One thing more than anything. ENTHUSIASM. It doesn’t matter how hot you are if I’m banging you and you seem bored. Or if the BJ is like a chore or something. Nothing kills the mood quicker.

56. We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING.

We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING. No thought, no music in our head, just nothing. Complete silence in our head. It’s so calming and relaxing.

57. If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

58. We can’t predict when you’re going to act like an evil gremlin.

Ive never owned a gremlin, so please don’t expect me to understand your feeding patterns and be able to predict when you’re going to become an evil monster because all you’ve eaten was some Melba toast 12 hours ago.

59. Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us.

Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us. It’s called Creep and encompasses Not my type to Level 3 sex offender and everything in between. It’s vastly subjective, applied liberally with very broad brushstrokes, and can occur with something as simple as looking past you to the beer menu and occasionally crossing glances. The majority of guys would really only like to: a) talk like adults, b) ask you to please step aside so we can get to the bartender, or c) continue being subconsciously aware of your existence but actively thinking about nothing. Indifference, the ultimate villainy.

60. We want black and white, so stop giving us grey.

I read a quote once that said something to the effect of: Guys want black and white and girls can only give grey. Please stop making this fucking true.

61. Don’t look for insults in everything we say to you.

If I say something to you, and it could possibly be interpreted multiple ways, I didn’t mean the one that pisses you off. Don’t look for insults in everything someone says to you.

62. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

We like to be wooed as well. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

63. Women change and men don’t.

Men fall for women and expect them never to change. But they do. Women fall for men and want to change them. But they dont.

64. We’ll probably go with the girl that jerks us around the least.

A little mystery & drawn-out flirting is good, but seriously, dont let it go on too long. Most guys are talking to more than one girl. Talking, not banging. And we’ll probably go with the one that jerks us around the least. Also when you asked what we’re thinking about & we say ‘nothing, we are not lying.

65. If we ask you to play a video game with us, that means we really like you.

If a man asks you to play a video game with him, and actually takes the time and patience to teach you how to play it, he really fucking likes you and wants to spend HOURS of quality time with you.

66. A man who treats waiters with respect is trustworthy.

A man who treats people who have lower status (e.g., waiters) with respect is trustworthy. A man who does not is not.

67. Men are actually very, very good listeners.

Men are actually very, very good listeners. We pay attention to what you actually say. If you say yes but you meant no, then the breakdown of communication is with you, not us. It’s really not our responsibility to learn what you really mean when you say something completely different.

68. We think in boxes.

Our manner of thinking is pretty different from women’s. The best analogy I have heard is that men think in boxes: If you want to talk about camping, we will take out the camping box; if you want to talk about houses, we put the camping box away and pull out the housing box. There is one box that has nothing in it and, if given the choice, that is the box we will go to every time and literally think about nothing. The nothing box is our favorite one.

69. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we want to do

Just because we both have the day off doesnt mean we have to fill it with shit to do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.

70. Women are hornier than men.

You are hornier than us. Fuck what they told you. It’s true.

71. Never, ever call our penis ‘cute.’

Im surprised by the lack of penis knowledge most women possess, so here’s some information. 1. When we pee, it’s not this magical stream that starts and stops without dripping, and it doesn’t always shoot in a straight line. It can, and sometimes will, shoot out in multiple directions simultaneously at times. We’re not peeing on the seat on purpose, and it’s as frustrating to us as it is to you. 2. Like the joke by Dane Cook, our penis is kind of like an amoeba. It’s constantly changing shape, and you never really know what he’s going to look like at any given time. 3. To add on to the above post, let’s also talk about shrinkage. When we’re dehydrated, been swimming in the pool, or have just been generally very active, he’s going to be a shadow of himself when released to the world. We’re literally talking 1/3 to ¼ (sometimes even below) his full size. This is expected, but still a bit emasculating. Be an adult. 4. Never, ever, call him cute. Unless you want to talk about how big he is, don’t say a word.

72. We are much simpler than you think we are.

We are much simpler than you think we are. When you hear hoofbeats, think Horses, not Zebras.

73. We get annoyed when we find out you told your best friends our confidential secrets.

We get annoyed when we find out your best friends know everything about our relationship, including the secrets we told you in confidentiality.

74. GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT.

GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT. I cannot tell you how often it gets asked on Yik Yak at my university or I overhear girls deliberating over it with their friends if they can ask a guy out.

75. Don’t look for hidden meaning in what we say.

That men really don’t have anything behind what they’re saying. Like, if you’re going out to dinner and he says, That’s an interesting dress, literally he means it’s interesting. He doesn’t mean that it’s ugly, he doesn’t mean that you look fat, that your hair is ugly, that you have a nasty pimple on your chin, he really just thinks your dress is interesting. All the while you’re overanalyzing what he’s saying and thinking of 400 different meanings to what he said, he’s onto thinking about what he wants to eat at the restaurant.

76. When we say, I love you, we mean it.

When you say, I love you, I’m not always going to parrot it back. The reason is because love isn’t a Pavlovian response. When I say, I love you it is with thoughtful intent. I want my I love yous to have meaning.

77. Hints don’t work.

Hints don’t work. If you want something, ask for it. If you expect him to read your mind, you’re going to be disappointed a lot.

78. Don’t try to make us jealous.

Don’t try to make us jealous by pretending to like other guys. A lot of guys will just back off if they think you’re into someone else.

79. We listen to your problems so we can solve them.

If you ask us for advice, we will give you what we believe to be the best course of action. 90% of the time you will ignore us. 95% of the time you will think it’s stupid. But 99% of the time, it will be the simplest, most direct method to solve the problem. That’s what we do, we listen to your problems to solve them. It’s not what you want, but it’s what you get.

80. Don’t wait for us to initiate sex.

If you want to have sex, don’t wait for men to initiate. If a man always has to initiate into sex he will feel like you don’t want it and just do it because you make him feel good but don’t actually feel any pleasure yourself.

Also , when initiating, be pretty straightforward or use very obvious hints because we don’t get it. If you start touching a guy’s dick and he doesn’t understand that you want to have sex, yeah, that’s wrong. But if you give some sort of glance or just say something like, Oh, it’s been a long day and we’re supposed to work from there to understand that you want to have sex that’s not gonna work.

81. A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved.

A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved, not one who just gets loved.

82. Sometimes we just like to be alone.

Sometimes men just like to be alone; it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you, we just like to be alone occasionally.

83. Don’t tell your friends about our sexual secrets.

If we tell you something about our sexual history or sexual predilections, it doesn’t mean we actually want to talk about or hear about it every time you think about it. We opened up enough to tell you some kooky, borderline stuff we did in the past; leave it alone, don’t bring it up, and definitely don’t bring it up lightly or use it as ammunition during an argument, and what’s more don’t tell your friends about it. This is personal stuff, and at some point grown-up relationships should be about integrity, mutual respect, and trusteven beyond the bounds of the relationship.

84. Give us feedback during sex.

Every vagina and their owner is different. Much like how every penis and their owner is different.

What may work for one, may not work for the other. So during sex, feel free to give feedback. Faster? Slower? Softer? Harder? Let us know what works, what doesn’t. Can we be doing things better? Tell us.

I dated one girl for over a year who told me she didn’t like how I fingered her. Seriously, she didn’t speak up about it for over a year because she felt awkward about it. So she essentially just wasted our time. If I am finger-banging or eating pussy, I’m not doing it for my sake. A little feedback and guidance isn’t going to kill my mood.

85. Constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes us wonder why we’re actually there.

Maybe it’s just me, but constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes me wonder why I’m actually there.

86. If you like a guy, tell him.

I don’t know if every guy would agree with this, but I don’t think it’s the rejection we’re afraid of. It’s the possibility of looking like some creep/loser if we ask you out and you say no. It’s the way you’ll see us from then on out that makes us afraid. The vulnerability. So honestly, if you like a guy, tell him. No guy should ever have a problem with a girl doing that; there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t make us have to go through the whole fear of asking you out if you already want to tell us yourself.

87. Don’t blame us for things we do in YOUR dreams.

Women of the world!!!!

Guys cannot cheat in your dreams!

Three times it happened with an ex of mine. Three times she awoke in a complete strop, of course being the ever caring SO at the time I ask what’s wrong.

Supposedly I cheated with her best friend three times in HER dreams and I’m the one to blame.

I never cheated and never thought of cheating.

88. We need time with our friends, too.

Just because I want to spend the rest of my life with you does not mean I can’t have time with friends. Time apart is sometimes just as important as time together.

89. We shut down because arguing isn’t worth it.

If we shut down or stop responding during an argument, it doesn’t mean we stopped caring about your feelings or that you aren’t worth talking to or that we’re ignoring you. It means we just don’t want to make the argument worse or last longer than it needs to, because chances are, the argument wasn’t worth the energy to begin with.

90. Fuck off with the hints.

Fuck off with the hints (both, the “blatantly obvious” and subtle). We prefer direct, clear communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

91. Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

92. Our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

When we’re spreading our legs, it’s most likely because our balls are uncomfortable. Side note, our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

93. We don’t get tired of your boobs.

We don’t get tired of your boobs. It’s a joy to see them literally every time. The same with touching them. You might not understand it…frankly, I don’t think we do, either. But for straight men, boobs are the physical embodiment of I’ve been with my SO for almost a decade and my eyes still up light every time. I’m not a very emotive person, but she’s noted my look of genuine happiness when I see them.

94. Don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends.

Two things: 1. Unless you have a specific reason, don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends. It can be a little insulting.2. Men are very literal. If we tell you we love you or that you’re beautiful, we tend to mean exactly that.

95. Even if you hit us playfully, it still hurts.

Just because a man is physically bigger than you doesn’t mean that punching, kicking, or slapping him doesn’t hurteven if it’s done playfully. We aren’t trees or rocks. Pain still hurts.

96. Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy.

Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy. I feel this goes both ways.

96. When we break up, please keep the jewelry we gave you.

When a breakup does happen don’t go trying to give back things we gave to you e.g., jewelry, etc. A) we find it hurtful, like there is no sentimental value to our time together. B) what am I gonna do with girls’ jewelry/stuff? C) it may just end up coming across like you are trying to intentionally cause us pain by giving such things back, like a reminder of your existence.

98. The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend “chasing” you.

The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend ‘chasing’ you. If I’m interested, and you’re interested, there should be no reason for you to still be playing hard to get and taking longer than two requests for your time to agree to a date. Either commit or tell me you’re not interested. I’m 30. Dating at this age consists of ‘Are we doing this or not? I got shit to do.’

99. If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions.

If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we have listened and that we care.

100. We don’t run the world.

There is a mountain of men that are really struggling. We don’t run the world. In fact, a very large percentage of us will kill ourselves. 79% of suicides are males (US). White males represent 70% of suicides overall.

And yet, not a single candidate seems to be expressing any desire to combat any of this. As have no candidates in decades.

The Men’s Rights movement is something that seems to piss off a lot of people. But this is one of our biggest concerns. Personally, I get very upset when I hear economically debunked wage gap lies perpetrated repeatedly, year-after-year. Wage gap. #HeForShe. #BringBackOurGirls. Mansplaining. Manspreading. Alarming rate of suicide in males? Crickets. Massively disproportionate rates of violent crime? BORING. Schoolboys being burned alive or forced into being child soldiers? #BringBackOurBoys? HA! More like #BringBackMyKardashians, am I right!?

There is a vast lack of perspective missing from today’s social justice warriors, corrupt politicians, and ideologues. Men are struggling. Boys are struggling. Worldwide, even.

Crickets.

In the past week, the woman who once claimed, Women have always been the primary victims of war made another sexist plea to further denigrate the worth of male life. In spite of the FACT that women receive 63% (SIXTY-THREE PERCENT) lighter sentences than men for the same crime if they are prosecuted at ALL, Hillary Clinton feels that the criminal justice system is unfair…to women. Because putting women in prison takes them away from their families. And, obviously, men being away from their families is no big deal.

Advocates for the acknowledgement of men’s issues do not hate you, women. But I do hate every last harpy that has shouted down people (men, women, trans alike) just trying to speak about men’s struggles. I do hate the COUNTLESS not-true feminists I see littering Twitter with continued attempts to minimize men’s issues, or proudly posting their #MaleTears selfies. I DON’T hate, but proudly champion, the amazing women that ARE trying to bring light to these issues. The kinds of women who DON’T just sit there when their friends are all joking about how men are worthless or only good for one thing (thanks, wife, for calling out double standards).

And that’s why I don’t hate women. Like most MRAs. We love women. We’ve most likely been raised by amazing women, grown up with them as siblings, dated and married them. There are mountains of you that are NOT the problem. But we need your help. We need your cooperation and insistence on fact-based politics, not gender-based. The wage gap continues to be an issue liberal candidates will espouse, in the face of economic and statistical proof to the illegitimacy of the argument, simply because a large percentage of people seem to want to hear it. There is a race, it seems, to victimhood. Who am I to judge most things, but I feel fairly confident in saying that the prevention of male suicide and homelessness deserves more of our airtime, advertising, outreach, and funding than a wage gap myth that is repeatedly debunked under the slightest bit of academic scrutiny (or at the very least, reduced to a range that is within a standard margin of error).

This simple belief will undoubtedly be met with shouts of misogyny. I am a misogynist simply for prioritizing a concrete, factual narrative that prioritizes a life-and-death issue.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/170128730107

[samanthasroberts]

100 Things All Women Need To Know About Men (According to 100 Men)

Found on AskReddit.

1. Men aren’t mind readers.

Men arent mind readers…if you want something, be direct.

2. Guys are shy, too.

Guys are shy, too. Don’t be afraid to walk up and talk.

3. Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

4. If you want a ‘bad boy,’ expect to be treated badly.

Don’t tell me you don’t like me because I’m a ‘nice guy’ and that most girls like ‘bad boys, and then come looking for a shoulder to cry on when he cheats on you or treats you like shit. Instead, go fuck yourself. I don’t care, because you got what you deserved. Next time, try looking for someone who cares about you, even if they’re ‘too nice.

5. It’s not OK to physically assault men, period.

It’s not OK to physically assault men, period. It doesn’t matter how small you are and how big the guy is. If you don’t disagree, walk away, voice your concern, or speak to the law.

6. We are just as emotionally complex as women are.

Men’s emotional lives are, pretty much across the board, just as complex and nuanced as women’s.

Also, there’s a whole ecosystem of subtle communication, competition, and one-upmanship between men (think Alpha/Beta but way more complicated) that is probably largely invisible to you.

We’ve had to navigate through it all our whole lives and sometimes it stinks.

7. Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too.

Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too; even just minor ones feel nice.

8. We are not machines. We are human, too.

We are not machines. We get sick. We can cry. We can be goofy or funny. We can be weak or scared. We can go limp. We can complain. We can be nice and sweet. Don’t make men out to be machismo meatheads who just walk around looking for sex and expect us to always be strong and confident and take charge on every single little thing. We are human, too. It’s not bad to be a nice guy.

9. Some of us actually are hopeless romantics.

That some of us actually are hopeless romantics. We want to find true love, too. Even then we will still make mistakes. Some of us it will be really stupid and think that we want different women just because that’s the way we are programmed. And sometimes it takes something big to make us realize that’s not what we want.

10. You shouldnt smack us down for showing emotions.

“ If we open up to you, let us do it instead of smacking us down for being emotional, you’ll have a friend for life.

Don’t assume what movies teach about men is at all accurate; seriously, my last girlfriend did and was perpetually worried I’d cheat even though I find the concept abhorrent.

If we’re quiet, it means we’re thinking, not angry.

We have a strong desire to protect the women in our life, whether that be our wife, our sister, or our grandmother even. We do get overprotective due to an admittedly over-reliance on our gut feelings, and we’re aware it’s annoying you, but humor us and you may be surprised with the results.

A mans younger siblings are extremely important; do not insult them if you want us to stay. Talking from experience here.

We worry over our bodies constantly, media bombards us with an ideal you have to work for years to attain and keep, similar to women, let us talk about it if we need to.

I’ll say it again: IF WE OPEN UP TO YOU, LET US!!! DON’T FUCKING SMACK US DOWN FOR BEING EMOTIONAL OR UNMANLY FFS.

11. Rom-coms don’t work in real life.

You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life. Seriously.

12. Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis.

Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis. It’s not a fucking game; sometimes shrinkage happens, sometimes I’m just not in the mood. I know that it’s just a game to you, but for us it’s a really big deal. Don’t know why, don’t care why, it just is.

13. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, so I won’t treat you like a princess.

No I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.

14. If you keep asking whether we’re angry with you, eventually we will be.

On disagreements: Sometimes a man will disagree with you. He has reasons for it. If you present an argument, and he abruptly says OK, fine, it means you have convinced him. It probably does not mean he’s angry with you. If you then ask, Are you angry at me? and he says no, he isn’t. But if you keep asking, then eventually he will be. Or maybe it’s just me.

15. Don’t use sex as a weapon.

If you weaponize sex, that’s a quick way for us to resent you. And of course if you do not want to do it you should not, but if you treat sex like it is some kind of privilege that your guy should only get it if he has been a good boy and treat it like a reward rather than a romantic and intimate activity that is equally pleasurable for the both of you, then that is a great way to kill any affection your guy has for you.

16. We are afraid of rejection.

Fear of rejection can be downright terrifying. I am lucky that my wife was direct and asked me out.

17. Give us the benefit of the doubt.

Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.

18. We don’t think about sex every seven seconds.

Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds. I read this from some womens magazine whilst waiting in the dentist’s office. These womens magazines perception of men is ridiculous.

19. Just say, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ if you don’t want to go out with us.

My deal is, if I ask a girl out and she’s not interested, saying, Sorry, no thanks or a variation thereof is perfectly acceptable. I’ll be more than happy to move the fuck on.

20. Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our minds.

Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our mind. You might think we’re having doubts about all this and things are going to shit so you start acting like it and then it gets all messed up and it’s over. The truth is we’re probably just thinking about the last episode of or something like that. If you want to know, ask!

21. Nonsense behavior will cause us to pull back.

We’re perfectly willing to invest, but nonsense behavior will, little by little, cause us to disinvest. That time you said you were upset and when I asked why, you said, Guess?I pulled back a little. When you started crying instead of articulating your feelings? I pulled back a little. When you developed double standards regarding behaviors that are okay for you but NOT for me? I pulled back A LOT.

22. Do not belittle our cocks.

Unless the guy is super hung, any insinuation that his cock is even a little less than ideal in terms of size hurts a lot. Even some hung guys actually feel like their cock is too small.

23. Say what you mean.

If you say something we’re most likely going to take it at face value.

Example:

Guy: Hey babe I’m going to go play cards at Zach’s tonight is that all right?

Girl: Yeah, that’s fine, stay out all night, I’m going to bed anyway.

Guy:

The guy was giving her the option to keep him home and she told him she was fine with it and she was tired.

24. Mean what you say.

This game of know what I want without me telling you bullshit has got to stop. I’m not a fuckin mind reader. I’m not in a relationship/marriage to play mind games. Tell me what’s on your mind or how you really feel, the guessing games must end. Alternatively, if you would rather me not do something, don’t tell me, ‘No, go ahead it’s fine,’ than get pissed when I do it. Just tell me you’d rather me not.

25. Stop hinting and just tell us what you want.

Your hints are useless. Say what you want. Also, when we pee sometimes we still get some on the floor. Even as adults.

26. If you want to see us happy, just get naked.

Trust me, when a woman is naked, 99% of the time we are happy beyond compare. No matter what you think you look like.

27. If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex.

If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex. If youre just going to lie there like a rag doll while we hump away, it gets boring real quick. Fuck, I could go service myself twice as fast with half the exertion if thats all its about. And on a related note, dont take masturbation personally. Its a literal physical need for men. Imagine walking around for a week with loaded sinuses and being told not to blow your nose. Thats literally how it feels down there when we’re backed up. Let us relieve a little pressure and get off our fucking backs. Its not about you.

28. If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you.

If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you. If you are getting a lot of maybes and excuses, just move on.

29. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

When a guy is constantly doing all the initiating, all of the oral, and all of the work with no reciprocation, don’t act surprised when he stops calling. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

I’ve heard a lot of, Well, I do a lot! Like x, y, and z! Just because it isn’t in the bedroom doesn’t mean it doesn’t count! Yes. Yes, it does mean it doesn’t count when we’re talking about sex. Doing nice things outside the bedroom doesn’t translate into appreciation for what you’re receiving inside the bedroom.

It’s like giving a dog a treat three days after he brings you the paper. How’s he know WTF you just gave him a treat for?

30. Bars aren’t the best place to meet the best guys.

There exist men willing to have serious relationships with youbut those men probably don’t spend their time at bars chatting you up the first time you glance in their direction.

31. Sometimes we just like to hold our balls.

Sometimes, when we’re on the couch, we just like to hold our balls. We’re not sexually aroused, we just like to hold them and know they are there.

32. If you routinely slap your man’s hand away, don’t be surprised if he stops reaching.

If you routinely slap your man’s hand away when he reaches for sex…don’t be surprised if he gets the point and stops reaching.

33. We quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings.

Assuming you’re dealing with a normal male, what we say is what we mean, and what we mean is what we say. Any hidden meanings are a fiction invented by you; we don’t use that channel to communicate.

Conversely, do not use obfuscated communication methods with men for important topics; the odds of us missing or misinterpreting such a communication are high.

Do not talk about problems unless you are prepared to discuss the solution.

If we say we don’t care, we don’t. Especially as regards what we eat. If we say we don’t care, we’re not saying we don’t care who we eat with or whether we’ll eat, only that we don’t care we eat or we eat.

We’re generally shit at going to the doctors or dentists. Even in countries where healthcare is free. Remind us to check for cancer from time to time, or do it for us where possible/appropriate.

Our emotions tend to build up over time, as we quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings. Fortunately, they also fade over time without any obvious outlets, so only sustained angst or serious trauma will have a long-lasting effect.

34. Don’t be nice when rejecting us.

Don’t be nice when rejecting someone. I’m a grown adult and can handle being told no. Just the other day I asked a girl what her plans were Friday and I got a I work all weekend because it’s graduation weekend, but maybe next time!

That could be a hint or genuine statement. Don’t leave shit up in the air, just be straight with us because for the love of god MEN CANNOT READ WOMENS MINDS.

P.S. If you get mad at me for something I did in a dream (I thought people joked about this until it happened to me), I now think youre batshit insane and rule number one is never stick your dick in crazy.

35. We love your big butt in those jeans.

Your butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin love it.

36. We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound.

We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound. Omg, i love your shirt! You are soooo. Funny!

37. Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you.

Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you. It makes things a lot easier than saying, Oh, sorry I cant make it my grandma died…my dog is sick…I have to do XYZ. Its a shitty hint, especially after having a seemingly engaging string of conversations.

38. A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

39. Ignore all romantic advice from rom-coms.

Every piece of romantic advice you’ve gotten from a rom-com should be jettisoned as fast as possible. Hard to get does not work. Subtle hints are not going to be picked up on. There is no minimum waiting period for replying to texts, agreeing to a second date, resuming communicationanything. Put your cards on the table and be upfront. Men don’t hate a woman who says no; if anything, most men will be grateful that they can just move on. The happiest relationship I’ve ever been in began in one whirlwind night: We went from first date to drinks after to apartment in a single evening. I’m going to marry her once my bank balance has room for a ring in it.

40. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language.

Men are not fucking mind readers. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language. We play draughts, not chess.

41. Men don’t drop subtle hints.

When I ask, Do you know where the remote is?, I am not asking you to look for the remote. When I ask, Is this basket of laundry clean or dirty?, I am not asking you to do the laundry. When I say, We’re all out of milk, I am not asking you to drop everything and go shopping. For fuck’s sake, I’m just trying to exchange information with you. I’m not trying to drop subtle hints that I am unhappy and need you to do something, my God.

42. Please respect our privacy.

Oh yes, another thing: If I tell you, Please respect our privacy, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, and you turn around and tell all your friends…I will be upset and the relationship will probably not last.

43. If you say, ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ we will believe you.

If we ask, What’s wrong? and you answer, Nothing, we will behave exactly as if everything is OK.

44. Don’t try to make us jealous by talking about other guys.

Mentioning how many guys are going for you/chasing you doesn’t create the narrative of, Oh damn, she’s a hot commodity, better try harder. Instead its, Fuck, chasing her seems like it would be a lot of drama, better skip this one.

45. We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

46. All men are different and they should be treated as such.

All men are different and they should be treated as such.

47. If you want us to do something, expect that we’ll do it our way.

If you want me to do something, expect that I’ll do it my way. If you want something done your way, you fuckin do it. This is the price of delegation.

48. We’re not always in the mood for sex.

Just because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.

49. If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you.

If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you. A self-deprecating joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.

50. We’re not interested in playing stupid games.

We can see through the Im fine bullshit. But if you say it three times, we’re going to let it go. It’s not because we aren’t aware it’s bullshit, and it’s not because we don’t careit’s because we’re not interested in playing stupid games.

51. If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends.

If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.

52. Just tell us what you want to eat!

What do you want to eat. pls.

53. If you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

Most of us don’t get subtle hints; if you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

54. We can’t always tell when you’re flirting.

Don’t forget that one woman’s subtle hint’ is another woman’s ‘What? Are you kidding? I was fixing my hair, not flirting, you creep.

55. Your enthusiasm is what makes sex good for us.

What makes sex good? One thing more than anything. ENTHUSIASM. It doesn’t matter how hot you are if I’m banging you and you seem bored. Or if the BJ is like a chore or something. Nothing kills the mood quicker.

56. We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING.

We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING. No thought, no music in our head, just nothing. Complete silence in our head. It’s so calming and relaxing.

57. If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

58. We can’t predict when you’re going to act like an evil gremlin.

Ive never owned a gremlin, so please don’t expect me to understand your feeding patterns and be able to predict when you’re going to become an evil monster because all you’ve eaten was some Melba toast 12 hours ago.

59. Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us.

Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us. It’s called Creep and encompasses Not my type to Level 3 sex offender and everything in between. It’s vastly subjective, applied liberally with very broad brushstrokes, and can occur with something as simple as looking past you to the beer menu and occasionally crossing glances. The majority of guys would really only like to: a) talk like adults, b) ask you to please step aside so we can get to the bartender, or c) continue being subconsciously aware of your existence but actively thinking about nothing. Indifference, the ultimate villainy.

60. We want black and white, so stop giving us grey.

I read a quote once that said something to the effect of: Guys want black and white and girls can only give grey. Please stop making this fucking true.

61. Don’t look for insults in everything we say to you.

If I say something to you, and it could possibly be interpreted multiple ways, I didn’t mean the one that pisses you off. Don’t look for insults in everything someone says to you.

62. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

We like to be wooed as well. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

63. Women change and men don’t.

Men fall for women and expect them never to change. But they do. Women fall for men and want to change them. But they dont.

64. We’ll probably go with the girl that jerks us around the least.

A little mystery & drawn-out flirting is good, but seriously, dont let it go on too long. Most guys are talking to more than one girl. Talking, not banging. And we’ll probably go with the one that jerks us around the least. Also when you asked what we’re thinking about & we say ‘nothing, we are not lying.

65. If we ask you to play a video game with us, that means we really like you.

If a man asks you to play a video game with him, and actually takes the time and patience to teach you how to play it, he really fucking likes you and wants to spend HOURS of quality time with you.

66. A man who treats waiters with respect is trustworthy.

A man who treats people who have lower status (e.g., waiters) with respect is trustworthy. A man who does not is not.

67. Men are actually very, very good listeners.

Men are actually very, very good listeners. We pay attention to what you actually say. If you say yes but you meant no, then the breakdown of communication is with you, not us. It’s really not our responsibility to learn what you really mean when you say something completely different.

68. We think in boxes.

Our manner of thinking is pretty different from women’s. The best analogy I have heard is that men think in boxes: If you want to talk about camping, we will take out the camping box; if you want to talk about houses, we put the camping box away and pull out the housing box. There is one box that has nothing in it and, if given the choice, that is the box we will go to every time and literally think about nothing. The nothing box is our favorite one.

69. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we want to do

Just because we both have the day off doesnt mean we have to fill it with shit to do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.

70. Women are hornier than men.

You are hornier than us. Fuck what they told you. It’s true.

71. Never, ever call our penis ‘cute.’

Im surprised by the lack of penis knowledge most women possess, so here’s some information. 1. When we pee, it’s not this magical stream that starts and stops without dripping, and it doesn’t always shoot in a straight line. It can, and sometimes will, shoot out in multiple directions simultaneously at times. We’re not peeing on the seat on purpose, and it’s as frustrating to us as it is to you. 2. Like the joke by Dane Cook, our penis is kind of like an amoeba. It’s constantly changing shape, and you never really know what he’s going to look like at any given time. 3. To add on to the above post, let’s also talk about shrinkage. When we’re dehydrated, been swimming in the pool, or have just been generally very active, he’s going to be a shadow of himself when released to the world. We’re literally talking 1/3 to 1/4 (sometimes even below) his full size. This is expected, but still a bit emasculating. Be an adult. 4. Never, ever, call him cute. Unless you want to talk about how big he is, don’t say a word.

72. We are much simpler than you think we are.

We are much simpler than you think we are. When you hear hoofbeats, think Horses, not Zebras.

73. We get annoyed when we find out you told your best friends our confidential secrets.

We get annoyed when we find out your best friends know everything about our relationship, including the secrets we told you in confidentiality.

74. GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT.

GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT. I cannot tell you how often it gets asked on Yik Yak at my university or I overhear girls deliberating over it with their friends if they can ask a guy out.

75. Don’t look for hidden meaning in what we say.

That men really don’t have anything behind what they’re saying. Like, if you’re going out to dinner and he says, That’s an interesting dress, literally he means it’s interesting. He doesn’t mean that it’s ugly, he doesn’t mean that you look fat, that your hair is ugly, that you have a nasty pimple on your chin, he really just thinks your dress is interesting. All the while you’re overanalyzing what he’s saying and thinking of 400 different meanings to what he said, he’s onto thinking about what he wants to eat at the restaurant.

76. When we say, I love you, we mean it.

When you say, I love you, I’m not always going to parrot it back. The reason is because love isn’t a Pavlovian response. When I say, I love you it is with thoughtful intent. I want my I love yous to have meaning.

77. Hints don’t work.

Hints don’t work. If you want something, ask for it. If you expect him to read your mind, you’re going to be disappointed a lot.

78. Don’t try to make us jealous.

Don’t try to make us jealous by pretending to like other guys. A lot of guys will just back off if they think you’re into someone else.

79. We listen to your problems so we can solve them.

If you ask us for advice, we will give you what we believe to be the best course of action. 90% of the time you will ignore us. 95% of the time you will think it’s stupid. But 99% of the time, it will be the simplest, most direct method to solve the problem. That’s what we do, we listen to your problems to solve them. It’s not what you want, but it’s what you get.

80. Don’t wait for us to initiate sex.

If you want to have sex, don’t wait for men to initiate. If a man always has to initiate into sex he will feel like you don’t want it and just do it because you make him feel good but don’t actually feel any pleasure yourself.

Also , when initiating, be pretty straightforward or use very obvious hints because we don’t get it. If you start touching a guy’s dick and he doesn’t understand that you want to have sex, yeah, that’s wrong. But if you give some sort of glance or just say something like, Oh, it’s been a long day and we’re supposed to work from there to understand that you want to have sex that’s not gonna work.

81. A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved.

A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved, not one who just gets loved.

82. Sometimes we just like to be alone.

Sometimes men just like to be alone; it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you, we just like to be alone occasionally.

83. Don’t tell your friends about our sexual secrets.

If we tell you something about our sexual history or sexual predilections, it doesn’t mean we actually want to talk about or hear about it every time you think about it. We opened up enough to tell you some kooky, borderline stuff we did in the past; leave it alone, don’t bring it up, and definitely don’t bring it up lightly or use it as ammunition during an argument, and what’s more don’t tell your friends about it. This is personal stuff, and at some point grown-up relationships should be about integrity, mutual respect, and trusteven beyond the bounds of the relationship.

84. Give us feedback during sex.

Every vagina and their owner is different. Much like how every penis and their owner is different.

What may work for one, may not work for the other. So during sex, feel free to give feedback. Faster? Slower? Softer? Harder? Let us know what works, what doesn’t. Can we be doing things better? Tell us.

I dated one girl for over a year who told me she didn’t like how I fingered her. Seriously, she didn’t speak up about it for over a year because she felt awkward about it. So she essentially just wasted our time. If I am finger-banging or eating pussy, I’m not doing it for my sake. A little feedback and guidance isn’t going to kill my mood.

85. Constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes us wonder why we’re actually there.

Maybe it’s just me, but constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes me wonder why I’m actually there.

86. If you like a guy, tell him.

I don’t know if every guy would agree with this, but I don’t think it’s the rejection we’re afraid of. It’s the possibility of looking like some creep/loser if we ask you out and you say no. It’s the way you’ll see us from then on out that makes us afraid. The vulnerability. So honestly, if you like a guy, tell him. No guy should ever have a problem with a girl doing that; there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t make us have to go through the whole fear of asking you out if you already want to tell us yourself.

87. Don’t blame us for things we do in YOUR dreams.

Women of the world!!!!

Guys cannot cheat in your dreams!

Three times it happened with an ex of mine. Three times she awoke in a complete strop, of course being the ever caring SO at the time I ask what’s wrong.

Supposedly I cheated with her best friend three times in HER dreams and I’m the one to blame.

I never cheated and never thought of cheating.

88. We need time with our friends, too.

Just because I want to spend the rest of my life with you does not mean I can’t have time with friends. Time apart is sometimes just as important as time together.

89. We shut down because arguing isn’t worth it.

If we shut down or stop responding during an argument, it doesn’t mean we stopped caring about your feelings or that you aren’t worth talking to or that we’re ignoring you. It means we just don’t want to make the argument worse or last longer than it needs to, because chances are, the argument wasn’t worth the energy to begin with.

90. Fuck off with the hints.

Fuck off with the hints (both, the “blatantly obvious” and subtle). We prefer direct, clear communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

91. Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

92. Our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

When we’re spreading our legs, it’s most likely because our balls are uncomfortable. Side note, our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

93. We don’t get tired of your boobs.

We don’t get tired of your boobs. It’s a joy to see them literally every time. The same with touching them. You might not understand it…frankly, I don’t think we do, either. But for straight men, boobs are the physical embodiment of I’ve been with my SO for almost a decade and my eyes still up light every time. I’m not a very emotive person, but she’s noted my look of genuine happiness when I see them.

94. Don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends.

Two things: 1. Unless you have a specific reason, don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends. It can be a little insulting.2. Men are very literal. If we tell you we love you or that you’re beautiful, we tend to mean exactly that.

95. Even if you hit us playfully, it still hurts.

Just because a man is physically bigger than you doesn’t mean that punching, kicking, or slapping him doesn’t hurteven if it’s done playfully. We aren’t trees or rocks. Pain still hurts.

96. Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy.

Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy. I feel this goes both ways.

96. When we break up, please keep the jewelry we gave you.

When a breakup does happen don’t go trying to give back things we gave to you e.g., jewelry, etc. A) we find it hurtful, like there is no sentimental value to our time together. B) what am I gonna do with girls’ jewelry/stuff? C) it may just end up coming across like you are trying to intentionally cause us pain by giving such things back, like a reminder of your existence.

98. The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend “chasing” you.

The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend ‘chasing’ you. If I’m interested, and you’re interested, there should be no reason for you to still be playing hard to get and taking longer than two requests for your time to agree to a date. Either commit or tell me you’re not interested. I’m 30. Dating at this age consists of ‘Are we doing this or not? I got shit to do.’

99. If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions.

If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we have listened and that we care.

100. We don’t run the world.

There is a mountain of men that are really struggling. We don’t run the world. In fact, a very large percentage of us will kill ourselves. 79% of suicides are males (US). White males represent 70% of suicides overall.

And yet, not a single candidate seems to be expressing any desire to combat any of this. As have no candidates in decades.

The Men’s Rights movement is something that seems to piss off a lot of people. But this is one of our biggest concerns. Personally, I get very upset when I hear economically debunked wage gap lies perpetrated repeatedly, year-after-year. Wage gap. #HeForShe. #BringBackOurGirls. Mansplaining. Manspreading. Alarming rate of suicide in males? Crickets. Massively disproportionate rates of violent crime? BORING. Schoolboys being burned alive or forced into being child soldiers? #BringBackOurBoys? HA! More like #BringBackMyKardashians, am I right!?

There is a vast lack of perspective missing from today’s social justice warriors, corrupt politicians, and ideologues. Men are struggling. Boys are struggling. Worldwide, even.

Crickets.

In the past week, the woman who once claimed, Women have always been the primary victims of war made another sexist plea to further denigrate the worth of male life. In spite of the FACT that women receive 63% (SIXTY-THREE PERCENT) lighter sentences than men for the same crime if they are prosecuted at ALL, Hillary Clinton feels that the criminal justice system is unfair…to women. Because putting women in prison takes them away from their families. And, obviously, men being away from their families is no big deal.

Advocates for the acknowledgement of men’s issues do not hate you, women. But I do hate every last harpy that has shouted down people (men, women, trans alike) just trying to speak about men’s struggles. I do hate the COUNTLESS not-true feminists I see littering Twitter with continued attempts to minimize men’s issues, or proudly posting their #MaleTears selfies. I DON’T hate, but proudly champion, the amazing women that ARE trying to bring light to these issues. The kinds of women who DON’T just sit there when their friends are all joking about how men are worthless or only good for one thing (thanks, wife, for calling out double standards).

And that’s why I don’t hate women. Like most MRAs. We love women. We’ve most likely been raised by amazing women, grown up with them as siblings, dated and married them. There are mountains of you that are NOT the problem. But we need your help. We need your cooperation and insistence on fact-based politics, not gender-based. The wage gap continues to be an issue liberal candidates will espouse, in the face of economic and statistical proof to the illegitimacy of the argument, simply because a large percentage of people seem to want to hear it. There is a race, it seems, to victimhood. Who am I to judge most things, but I feel fairly confident in saying that the prevention of male suicide and homelessness deserves more of our airtime, advertising, outreach, and funding than a wage gap myth that is repeatedly debunked under the slightest bit of academic scrutiny (or at the very least, reduced to a range that is within a standard margin of error).

This simple belief will undoubtedly be met with shouts of misogyny. I am a misogynist simply for prioritizing a concrete, factual narrative that prioritizes a life-and-death issue.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/01/25/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/