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#some sort of fear of commitment type shit
natlovesls2 · 1 month
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Project Valentine
Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader
*ੈ✩‧₊˚warnings: no use of y/n, swearing, feels a little rushed
*ੈ✩‧₊˚word count: 1.1k
*ੈ✩‧₊˚summary: You're lonely and Logan wants to be a good friend
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‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚
"I'm tired of being lonely every year for Valentine's Day," you groan into one of the heart-shaped throw pillows on your couch. You hated Valentine's Day– absolutely despised it. You always sat alone, watching the intoxicatingly cute couples on dates. This would be the fourth year in which you would have no date for Valentine's Day, and if it were up to you, it would be your last (you would destroy the holiday, obviously). It wasn't a choice you had willingly made, but no matter how hard you tried, you always managed to be single during Valentine's Day. 
Logan laughed at your distress, finding your overreaction to being single hilarious, "I'll help you find a date if that will make you happy."
"Oh fuck off, stop laughing at me," you threw the throw pillow at him, laughing as it smacked him in the face. 
"Rude, and I'm not laughing at you. I'm being very serious right now."
"You'd help me find a date?" you asked, sitting up and turning to face him, waiting and expecting him to burst out laughing. Sure, Logan was a great friend, but he never turned down the opportunity to tease or make fun of you. You had expected him to poke fun at the fact that you had once again managed to find yourself without a partner to spend the day with. 
He nodded silently, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, head slightly tilted to the side. His smile widens the more he stares at you, "So, what do you say, can I start Project Valentine?" 
You can't help but wonder how he could possibly help when you've struggled for so long. The uncertainty of whether or not this could negatively impact the structure of your friendship. You often spoke about your romantic relationships with Logan but never went into depth about why they all seemed to fail. You suppose it was fear, fear of commitment, or fear of getting too attached to then be abandoned. That fear also held you back in your friendship, which brings you back to that uncertainty you felt– everything was connected. 
"Stop staring at me like that; do you want my help or not?"
"I do, but– yeah, I want your help."
"Good, now tell me what your type is," he says, standing from his spot across from you to sit beside you on the loveseat. 
"I don't know. I guess I just want a nice guy." 
"A nice guy? Are your standards truly that low? I always thought you would have higher standards."
"They are not low." They truly weren't low, in your opinion. Of course, they were more complex than just a "nice" guy, but you didn't want to seem picky in front of Logan. It was a running joke that you couldn't hold boyfriends because of your high standards and maintenance.  
"Yes, they are," he teased, jokingly shoving you.
"Are not."
"Are too," he reached over– tickling you, and you desperately attempted to push him away, laughing loudly at his actions. 
"Stop it," you say, continuing to laugh– holding onto his shoulders as he finally stills. He looks into your eyes, deep in thought, making you wish you knew what went through his mind. He always seemed to be thinking about something, especially when he's around you– it's something you've noticed as your friendship grew. "What's going through that brain of yours?" you ask, running your hands through his hair. 
"I don't think I can help you..." he whispers, resting his head on your chest.
"I knew this was some sort of joke for you," you shoved him off of your chest, sitting up. 
"This isn't a joke."
"No? Then what is it? Because right now, it feels like you're going to say some bullshit about me never being content in my relationships. And honestly, Logan, I'm not in the mood for this shit. I genuinely wanted your help and was trusting you with this," you angrily rambled, refusing to look at him. It felt as if your blood was boiling; you felt like those cartoon characters with the steam coming out of their ears. You could see his lips moving as he worked up some, in your humble opinion, lame excuse– but the ringing in your ears impeded you from hearing. 
"I love you, okay," Logan said as the ringing in your ears subsided. You froze, staring blankly at him– this had escalated quickly, too quickly. The ringing returned as your heart began to beat a million miles an hour. 
Logan frowned as the silence in the room grew; he sighed looking up at the ceiling and resting his head against the backrest of the love seat. "I'm sorry– please say something; I don't want to ruin our friendship. And I know I'm stupid... god, this was so fucking stupid. I'm sorry, okay?" 
You continued to stare at him, shock evident on your face. It felt impossible to speak, though you had so much to say. From the moment you heard those words, you felt thousands of repressed memories flood your mind. Memories in which you felt things you had thought were inappropriate to feel between friends. Memories that at this moment you wished to share with him. 
He quickly turned to face you again, "Actually, I'm not sorry. I'm tired of pretending that I don't feel this way– tired of hiding my love for you."
You felt as if your body had been possessed by someone else as you grabbed his face and smashed your lips against his. It was a desperate kiss, something you had both been waiting for– rushed and messy. He gently pushed you down, resting you against the couch as he deepened the kiss. You felt your head spin as his hands tangled against your hair, somehow pulling you closer than you already were. "I love you too," you pulled away for a moment– wanting him to know that you reciprocate his feelings. 
"I thought so," he pulled you back into a kiss, seemingly not wanting the moment to end as he slid his hands down to rest on your hips. "I think Project Valentine was a success," he whispered, planting a few kisses on your neck, and smiling down at you. 
You had hated Valentine's Day– absolutely despised it. But as you lay there with Logan, tangled in each other, you couldn't help but love it. You loved everything about it, the cultural meaning of it, and even the intoxicatingly cute couples. You wanted to experience everything about the day you had hated just this morning. You couldn't wait to spend next Valentine's Day with him– and all the Valentine's Days after that.
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚
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artiststarme · 6 months
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Things never really went to plan for one poor Eddie Munson. His fate was sealed from his very first breath, his life would be a tragedy. And so, the universe set out to make him suffer.
It was like all the cards in his life were stacked against Eddie. He was born to a Bonnie and Clyde type of couple with Bonnie running away from the commitment of a family as soon as she could. Dick Munson was all too betrayed by the abandonment of his partner in come and set to destroy everything he had left. He cut ties with his brother, turned to a bottle, and drowned the sounds of his son’s screams out with meth and benzos. It was only a matter of time before he was arrested from a robbery gone bad with enough drugs to keep him behind bars for life.
Poor Eddie was sent to live with the uncle he hardly remembered. He was thrown into a loving trailer in a town full of hate. The kids at school ostracized him the moment they laid eyes on him, his bruised eyes and shaven head spoke all too lowly of his character. If he were lucky, he’d only get a few jaunts and swirlies but if he weren’t, he’d arrive home with another black eye or limp to hide from Wayne.
High school wasn’t much better. Just like middle school, the kids and teachers alike hated him. He blew off school and started selling drugs underneath people’s noses to help Wayne with the bills that were drowning them. He did make some friends, other loners that craved friendship and togetherness they’d never received anywhere else.
It turned out that he was gay. He knew as soon as he saw Steve Harrington’s shirt come off in the locker room and knew he was fucked. He was already the outsider no one liked, it made sense that something else would come up to make him even more different than everyone else in the suffocating small town. The worst part wasn’t the fact that people might find out. It was the part where no one he would ever have a crush on would ever like him back, least of all Steve Harrington whom had girls falling at his feet and guys wishing to be him.
As if it couldn’t get any worse, his skipping school held him back and made him even more of a loser than before. Eddie truly felt like the dumb-as-shit trailer trashed that everyone always told him he was. So he stopped trying completely. He fell into a persona adopted from his favorite artists, focused on his music and DnD, and tried to finally enjoy his life.
Then he saw hell on earth in the form of Chrissy Cunningham’s twisted body hovering in midair and fracturing with horrific snaps. He ran like the coward the universe had trained him to be and made himself the prime suspect in doing so. Eddie knew that there was no possible way to go back to how things were before. As fucked up as his life had been, he’d still miss his early morning coffees with Wayne and campaigns with the guys. As soon as the cops found him, he would be as dead as Chrissy.
So, he followed the kids out of fear. He felt like he was living in some sort of fucked up lucid dream. His long-reigning crush was there shirtless in his battle vest, Nancy Wheeler was there with fucking guns (plural), Robin the band geek was handling explosives, and the redhead that lived across the street from him was hanging on the edge of life fully dependent on a Walkman blasting shitty pop music. What the fuck, how was any of this real? He didn’t fully believe it until he felt the pain accompanying the bat bites and heard Dustin’s cries begging him to stay awake. It was only then that he realized the universe had royally fucked him over once again.
He knew with his luck, or lack of it, that he wouldn’t be waking up from this nightmare. His eyes slid shut for the last time and all Eddie could think was at least things would be better now than they ever were before.
When his eyes finally did open to a hospital room filled to the brim with his uncle and new friends, a tear dropped from his eye and his chest lightened. From then on, he knew everything would be so much better.
It seemed the universe had decided to call a truce and abandon the tragedy that had plagued young Eddie Munson. From then on, he wouldn’t have fate darkening his days. With the Party at his side, Steve Harrington’s hand in his, and his uncle’s Garfield mug on the hospital side table, Eddie Munson’s life began anew.
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henghost · 2 months
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Twig Liveblog for Arc 13
aaaaaa ‼️‼️‼️ idk if i've metabolized my thoughts enough to be fully coherent about them but i feel like i'll burn alive if i don't get them out, so:
it's like, after 3.1-10: "oh this is fun! a little cat and mouse game with the lambs." then after 3.11: "i am ready to commit grievous acts of violence." the earlier chapters are nonetheless worth discussing as without them there could not be such a "devastating" fifth-act catastrophe. particularly the communication experiments fascinated me. what a perfect metaphor! what if a radio could feel fear? what if a a radio could feel love? might we not also ask--what if a weapon could feel horny?
of course the lillian perspective deserves special attention as well. even before she says so explicitly, we understand that she is "ruined." there is her drug use, her physiological response to even the smallest mention of sy. this is perhaps the anatomical effect of being so close as the lambs, who are essentially a single organism: losing one, especially the one to whom you were closest, is like cutting off a limb. poor girl! like the rest of them she's wrapped up in shit too vast to possibly understand much less overcome.
helen is also going through it :( maybe she'll be the next one to join sy... mary's perspective is also quite rough--this is when i realized that this sy guy is on a level of psychosis i hadn't really considered before lmao.
and then at last there's That Scene with lillian, which reads at first like some kind of fanfiction--some kind of fanfiction lillian herself might have written--complete with typically teenaged overdetail, melodramatic descriptions of flushes, body heat, etc., till finally there's a sort of "surrealist coup," we realize we are too deep in sy's subjectivity to understand the reality of the situation, there's a break, we are lost.
it's all just so (say the line, henghost!) freudian... one of freud's most correct insights is that eros permeates all aspects of life, and therefore that to deny, suppress, or compartmentalize it cannot achieve anything but to make it sick, make the host neurotic. for example, instead of simply fucking your best friend who's clearly into you, you might design an obscenely elaborate rube goldberg type contraption throughout a monument to your darkest trauma (that psychotic fucking carnival orphanage lmao) in order to "win" your ex back. it is wrong, therefore, though understandable, to say that sy has "castrated himself"--it would be more accurate to say that wyvern has his dick twisted up in knots while he's still trying to get hard, poor guy. (by the way, i really have to write something about how wyvern is an allegory for ssri's lol.)
i won't even broach the moral ambiguity, though i'm sure there's something interesting to be said about it--for me, it's like asking about the morality of a withered tree or oedipus rex. and it really is that sophoclean: it was doomed to happened; it was fate. it is written into jamie's dna. sy is a gun who wants, and a gun cannot help but fire. libido is the engine pushing us down a railway designed at best by deus sive natura or at worst by the Academy. i feel fucking sick to my stomach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nonetheless, i found it life-affirming. it's pessimistic, yes, but it's a pessimism of strength.
anyway, i've gotta give kudos to the author. for all the (deserved) shit i've given him, the wildbow of twig is clearly a far more mature writer than the wildbow of worm.
i must also--since this the last recorded arc for the audiobook!!--shoutout kim dauber, who provided professional-level audibook-reading for free!!! it's possible my reading will slow down without it :(
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imustbenuts · 7 months
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@cannibal-lesbian
Doing a fresh post so the chain doesn't get too long. For anyone interested here's where we left off talking about Sombron.
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🧋Oke whew. I'm gonna uhhh put a big big disclaimer here before diving in. I do not have any sort of media literacy degree or am I a scholar AT ALL. I am just a big fucking nerd, and my take can be very subjective. (You'll see why I'm saying this in a hot minute). 🧋
My take is this:
A big dooky spitball, featuring ww2.
Before reading your post, my thoughts of Sombron is that he embodies on some level, a generalized stereotypical deadbeat parent that's annoyingly common irl (at least in my sphere of asia, I live in a certain SEA country which got invaded by Japan back then. this narrative seems to be common over there too to some extent). This specific type grew up in the era of post WW2, where their parents utterly suffered from and in war, and they may or may not have seen some of the horrors of in Japan as a child. Think of this group over the age of 75, as a rule of thumb.
This generation had to grow up without their parents, in a society so turbulent with social changes where scores of its population are KIA or MIA. To say they have trauma is the LEAST of it, bc in JP context these missing parents are often men who died fighting for their or someone's bullshit dream of racial superiority and imperialism trying to conquer the rest of Asia, then getting 2 fucking atomic bombs for it. American planes flew over their skies as they cowered in fear, their soldiers they sent gone beyond the horizon. Their childhood, though messy, has yet to fully comprehend beyond the threats flying literally over their heads. In the form of American fighter and bomber planes.
1945 wasn't that long ago. 77 years ago. My dad is in his 60s and he still feels bitter about Japan doing shit to his family.
In spite of it all, childhood was probably the safest they felt in the whirlwind of life with people they knew. Childhood is safe and sacred to many. Across the board, their parents left to keep them safe, at least, that's what they believed to frame why Japan went to commit atrocities in other countries. Regardless, there were so many broken families and orphans or eventual orphans that it's normal, and it's permeated through every level of society. Even those who came a little after experienced the aftermath of such a hellish landscape.
And these people lived, and they had children, though not all of them made it, and with many unaddressed traumas. Mental health in the west can be a joke sometimes, but it's even worse in Asia. Mental trauma and neurological disorder as a concept has been largely dismissed and even denied until only the last 20 years, and even then the situation on the ground is that it's still shit.
And because of this, no one really talks about the effects of this generational trauma. People just went to work. Emotionally battered and doing their best, earning money for their family and country to keep themselves fed. But the results and reality is that they are just not ok. I mean, how the fuck can one be ok? Even as they build a new world or enter into one, how can most of them really say they're ok?
Still, time passes anyway. The world changes anyway.
The writers of FE and most video games currently are around the age of anywhere 30 to 60, give or take a couple years. They are the children of these generation who told stories like Grave of The Fireflies and Barefoot Gen.
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Writers who grew up with this society, with that generation and kind of going "Uh, huh. Our parents are kind of emotionally fucked up and neglectful even..." and other similar related sentiments. For many, it can be felt even if it cannot be vocalized.
...Do you see where I'm going with this? Do I make sense? ;;
I see Sombron as this battered generation. He's the survivor of a genocide/war left to fend for himself, with a condition that he can't even explain or understand. I mean even irl rn, understanding there's a neurological/mental condition doesn't mean everything is smooth sailing in practice when interacting with a person suffering from said effects. The one who knew him best, that parental figure, is gone like all the support structure he would otherwise have.
Like many disconnected people, sometimes no matter how nice the new guardians or community is, there's always a sense of not belonging. For some it would be hard to even try connecting, but really, letting go can look like the easier option sometimes.
So Sombron has an attachment to that sacred childhood. Where he felt safe. Maybe he faltered or found that this new life wasn't working for him, and he let go in search of the past.
And ofc, just like Alear puts it, even if Sombron truly went back and found that emblem or the past, what's to say that alternate reality would grant him the happiness and fulfillment he seeks?
Anyway, imo connections are a 2 way street. If one party doesn't or cannot play ball, something goes a awry. And though shit, Sombron always had a choice. Not enough to bring back the past, but definitely a choice and he. Kept. Choosing. Crap. He kept. Choosing. Delusion.
I have always thought of Sombron as a reflection of this generation of people. Who are battered, traumatized, and as a result do all kinds of weird shit for the next generation to deal with in some form. Very importantly here: including but not limited to starting a cult to get some edge in society. (See: Aum Shinrikyo and the Tokyo subway sarin attack. And also the Moonies and Shinzo Abe's assassination.)
After reading your above, I think it is absolutely applicable here with Sombron. All of it, the trauma, the genocide, the mental struggles, it all checks out. No matter how I look at it, I see FE as a story being told by Japan, and I cannot uncouple that thought from my analysis anymore. Even if it's not meant to be such a deep reflection, it fits at least on surface level. Stories are influenced by each other often and by big events in the society's subconcious, so while this take is a spitball it is at least somewhat applicable.
BUT!! I'm not saying the writers fully intended for Sombron to be written this way. I could be reading too much into it, and those are just breadcrumbs laid out by the writers for the players to form our own theories and understanding.
What is definitely inarguable is that Sombron suffers from some level of Trauma and Mental Illness. He definitely feels empty and unfulfilled enough to go off on a deep end to fill that void.
But since Intsys ANNOYINGLY doesn't give much personal interview about their thought process, I can only say my analysis here has gone past canon and into wildly speculative reading. Grr!!
And there you have it. That's my thoughts. Sorry for the wall of text ;w;
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itzalizeyyy · 9 months
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𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐖
Hii its Alizey! But you can call me Ali or Zey for short. In this blog, I am going to discuss how you can eliminate doubts and how you can commit to the law of assumption. Lets get into it!
➜ 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐬:
Understand that doubts, fears, negativity comes from your human brain. Your human brain is programmed, conditioned, and developed within what is PERCEIVED logic here in this reality, in this society. Even though this is the society we learned from, doesn’t automatically mean that it has all the right answers since this is only one reality out of infinity. There is still so much that is unknown and so much that is limited here. We don’t even know what is underneath our own oceans or above our own skies. This can’t be all there is..as there is more than meets the eye.
You aren’t your brain as you shouldn’t define yourself with the 3d when you are always above the 3d. Doubts, fears, etc is what makes you HUMAN here but it isn’t what makes you an AWARENESS as these are unnatural circumstances. What are natural circumstances for you as an awareness is confidence, power, happiness, etc. be aware of your nature, live within your nature.
A particular fear others and myself might have is the idea that we will be stuck in this reality forever. But the universe wouldn’t be like, “everyone else can shift, enter the void, and have their desires..expect you though.” Newsflash, the universe doesn’t give two flying fucks. It doesn’t make sense to be some sort of special exception or somehow forbidden to experience the nature within you. You are the universe. You are power. You call the shots.
I am not saying to suppress your doubts and fears, but to question them. You are very accustomed to reacting to the 3d as you have your whole life before learning this knowledge. So, when you apply the law of assumption, and have a fulfilled mindset, its an adjustment but is not impossible to attain. It like learning a new language. Its okay you didn’t get it the first time, but the more you practice, the more you sound out the words, you become more used to it until its second nature.
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➜ 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐰
That applies the same to the law. The more you practice with this fulfilled mentality, the more you get used to it. The 3d will completely be irrelevant to you and it will no longer have power over your reactions.
If you assume you already have your desires, and the next day you complain that you don’t, simply catch it, bounce back from it, and continue to persist. If you keep getting yourself stuck in a mindset where you are lacking your desires, you are breaking the law instead of enforcing it. Remain faithful, loyal, and committed to the law, to the fulfilled mindset. Honor your word, don’t contradict it.
If you assume you already shifted, don’t try “changing” the 3d when it is already changed. If you assume you are already in the void, don’t try “leaving” the 3d when you already left it. There is no more “trying”. Its a very human thing to constantly think you have to do something to attain your desires. But accept that you already have them. Live with the reassurance, peace, and acceptance that it is done. Everything will fall in place. Everything has already fallen in place. There is no more trying to succeed when you already did.
Your sub-consciousness and the 4d is aware of your desires and that is all that is important. If law of assumption isn’t your cup of tea, that is definitely okay, and I personally recommend intention setting.
Intention setting is very empowering because it not saying like, “I could do it” or “I might do it” it more like “I WILL DO IT” type of shit. It giving in that determined and unstoppable mentality.
Intention is intending while law of assumption is being. And being is more of my preference. However, these are all tools. You should only pick the tools that benefit you and that you genuinely want to use. Let say you are not good at visualizing, but you really good at affirming, perfect, use that tool to its greatest potential, to its greatest length. Make the journey fun and enjoyable. Not as a chore or a job.
I hope this helps. If you have any questions or concerns let me know my messages are open!
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kitsunesfandomtime · 7 months
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Don't you want to become a Cult Leader?
Characters: All for One(Hisashi), Yoichi, and Original characters
Summary:
Have you ever wanted to become a cult leader? Do you know the freedom it entails and the atrocities you can commit? All for One learns what his life is truly meant for.
"Don't you want devoted followers?"
A man much older than him asked with a delighted smile on his face as stared at this white-haired mutant. Void dead eyes stared back as those words rang loudly in his ear at the one he had defeated. There was a fanatical look, this wasn't the first time he has seen him.
Just another sucker Hisashi scrapped money off of by peddling him some random power. An odd sort, no one special or even worth knowing. Yet it seemed he had tracked him down again.
"The hell are you talking about?" He scoffs. He didn't have time for this his little brother had run another fever for some reason. To the point that he couldn't move so only came out to get more money. The man smiled widely because in a sense he did give him attention. Likely the rambling of some nutcase.
"You've been blessed! The marks on your hands are a sign you are a messiah, a symbol of humanity's next step in evolution." The man jeered, and the young man scoffed. Delusional, all his father ever saw his kids as a demon and burden. Leaving them with a mother who couldn't handle it alone anymore.
Some Messiah.
His fingers instinctively clenches over the palm of his hand never one to enjoy keeping them open.
"Oh, you're an insane person like my religious father," Hisashi jeers with amusement finding these religious types just so funny. Spilling platitudes and nonsense with no value, "Why do I need a bunch of dead-weight strangers?"
The man seemed surprised at the rejection. Did he assume that because was doing some shady underground power exchange, he was that desperate? He needs extra money as his business job was a shit hole that still hasn't given him that raised his promise. Yoichi's medical aide isn't cheap considering he needs outside 'help'.
"You still aren't awakened yet fully," the strange man noted softly. Hisashi's eyes narrowed wondering if should get rid of him since he isn't supposed to remeet those he works with. His hand cracks with light electricity as a warning knowing the power he gave this idiot was weak.
Only to be startled by the man clapping his hands in delight, "I can help you! People would leave their families for you! Give you money or even their body I can already see it now. This very world is hell itself and you will bring it order even if it is by cruelty! The moment you touched me it gave me this revelation! Everyone needs to know your brilliance!"
Hisashi steps back as this psycho walked toward him with that insane admiration. As if the moment he had received some power something broke in this man's brain. It pissed him off wondering what made the other so happy looking at him. He was just some ordinary man stuck in a damned dead-end job while the government did nothing to prevent the verbal abuse he endures.
"Isn't this your will that you pushed on me!? To become a god-!?"
In a fit of rage, he killed the blathering man when this man went to touch him... And this feeling of disappointment remained unsure of what came over this man as well as the worry about anyone discovering he had killed someone. His hand ached and itched at the wasted quirk but also fear of getting caught.
He needs to run. 
Damn, he hated this world.
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It lingered in his mind despite the fact he had other things to worry about like a teenage little brother. His work at this wretched company once again skimped him on his pay raise. Instead, they scolded him for his 'behavior' as he wasn't acting like a team player.
"Honestly, you're the only one here that complains and refuses to do over time! You need to learn to respect your elders more before you come bothering about a pay raise. But then I guess should expect it from a mutant," the last part was said under his boss's breath. Hisashi grits his teeth hating that the man wants him to be a slave but refused his deal.
As if he was going to work overtime to not get paid when has someone at home. But there isn't anything he could do about this bullshit.
"I do my job perfectly and usually finish by the time my shift ends. I still don't see why, me, refusing to stay over time is a deal breaker," Hisashi tried to speak calmly as forced a smile. Sadly it isn't very effective against a boss who has a powertrip over trying to break every new 'meat.' But he enjoys how it pisses the man off that he isn't affecting him.
"Tch, get out of my office! I already made my decision and that's final also dye your damn hair as we've said!" 
The boss sneered bothered by his smile. Hisashi sighs as he gets up and bows though he doesn't go all the way. Enjoying the annoyance showing on the man's face at the half-asses respect as he leaves. But underneath he was fuming wondering why the hell he is still at this damned place.
He studied, he worked, he went to college like every other fucking drone in this society. He crawled over every other person to get to this position and yet in the end he hit the wall. Just like every other hopeless mess, his hand moves to touch his hair knowing exactly the reason. Despite his qualification, this is all they see, his refusal to conform to their desires.
As he returns to his desk the fire of spite was still fresh knowing he should work but a thought entered his mind.
If I was a cult leader maybe instead of being scorned they would cower in awe.
Hisashi frowned. The thoughts have been becoming stronger as is his urge to use his power. His hands were always itching to grab at something to shove in his pocket and take home was common. Kleptomania has always been a problem to the point was taken to a therapist, too bad their parents chickened out when they did say something was wrong.
Still, this felt different, not even when he comes home to his little brother did the feeling leave. Now thoughts of becoming a cult leader. How absurd there is only one result that could bring.
Ping~!
The sound of an email arriving on his computer sounded catching his attention. As he looked at the email he stares at the title.
Do you wish to learn how to charm people?
Well... Hisashi can't deny his curiosity.
------
"Hey, Big brother?" Yoichi spoke up. Today he seemed to be doing better and healthier. Seems the money he got from that expensive foreign ass doctor was worth it. If the free health care wasn't shit in this current climate it probably wouldn't be such an issue. Then again the doctors barely even know what is wrong with him.
"What is it, Yoichi?" Hisashi needed a smoke his nerves still shot at another failure for that pay. Not that he allows his little brother to know he has any problem. He can handle this.
"What have you been doing?" Yoichi was as blunt as ever. Those eyes looked at him curious but also concerned. Guessed he has noticed him sneaking out during odd hours but it is best not to admit that.
"Working," Hisashi answered. "Come on don't look at me like that Yoichi I'm fine you just focus on your highschool life before you get another episode."
He just hopes some asshole at the school remembers to mask up when sick before Yoichi goes through another hospital trip. He hates his brother going to that school it was a ticking time bomb now starting to understand why their parents kept him homeschooled if could. Not that Hisashi had many options for homeschooling if needs to work. What was it the parents always say? You'll understand when you have kids?
Too bad it is his little brother and not his actual kid.
...He shouldn't think like that. This is the only family he has and it isn't his fault his health is like this. But damn the other constantly questioning him can get frustrating.
"Stop acting like my dad it's weird," Yoichi was quick to remark. Making a face that didn't enjoy being 'talked' down to.
Hisashi looks at the brat who was trying to cross the barrier. As if he didn't sacrifice a lot to keep his ass out of the system before was even eighteen when their mom couldn't handle h̶i̶m̶ them. 
"When you stop being a burden to our finance over a cold then you can tell me how to act," his word was harsh but it got the result he wanted. Watching those green eyes widen and his form shrink it made him back off. It was only the truth though so isn't too sure why that would bother him so much but it at least worked. Results are all he cares about.
"By the way, I'm probably going to be looking for new employment. So my schedule going to be a bit erratic," Hisashi informed. Taking out a cigarette as he goes to step outside. Though he glanced at Yoichi noting how he looked miserable. "What? Did it seriously bother you that much what I said?"
It honestly baffled him. As he's sure Yoichi is aware of this simple fact but he looked like he was about to-
"Hey don't cry! Why are you about to cry!?" Hisashi questioned startled as his little brother had tears in his eyes. Feeling himself becoming stressed at the tears in the other's eyes. Shit, how does he fix this?
"I'm not trying to be a burden!" Yoichi shouts his hands on his lap as his teeth were clenched. "Why do you always have to bring that up whenever I protest? Do you hate me that much?"
Hisashi tries to wrack his brain at how had come to this conclusion. He takes a moment to process the other's statement, "What? Why would I hate you?"
The smoke break and murder of his lungs can wait. Walking over he kneels in front of his little brother his large size allowing him to examine the teen boy. 
"I love you a lot. It's why I'm doing all this I was just stating the truth it isn't anything to cry over. You know I'm just like that," Hisashi may have no idea why his brother was crying but he was trying. He reaches out to grab his little brother's hand and continues, "Look, no matter what I might say or do. You are important to me if wasn't for me caring about you I wouldn't be here. And you need me too, after all, I ain't abandoning you."
He knows that he isn't exactly... Parental. The other needed a dad and all he had was his apathetic and dead inside older brother. He used to have so much more life and joy, his little brother likely missed when would drag him outside to have fun. Playing roughly and how would spend every moment with him if could even if got him sick. It was a precious memory.
Unfortunately, he had to grow up.
"How about I buy you the last new chapters of, Captain Hero? I heard it is really good," he notes with an awkward smile. Yoichi slowly calmed down his tears only small sniffles as removed a hand to wipe his face. He was much too old to be crying and likely eventually Yoichi might rebel harder. He isn't too fond of that idea when is trying, but he was sure if this new work endeavor works out then it will be alright.
----------------
These cults were interesting.
Hisashi had technically 'joined' one out of curiosity. Though it was clear they were slowly starting to realize he wasn't invested like the others. The seminars quite frankly were about how amazing and perfect their leader was. 
He had a mutant power. A weak rare 'healing' power but he can tell easily it was more about a euphoric sensation. Basically, the man had a touch that made you feel like you were on cloud nine was the claim. Everyone wanted to be touched by him and Hisashi studied him.
He experienced it once.
The man had touched him and it took all of Hisashi's willpower to not strike back. The touch was something else but beyond that, it wasn't as insane as everyone acted. Making him wonder if it is only because of how much he talks it up that they think it is some orgasmic experience. When it is just small shocks.
That wasn't the interesting part. It was just how every single follower was pathetic, desperate, and hopeless. They had no hope in themselves but in their leader who is spewing only lies. Spreading promises of happiness and joy while suppressing any desires for them to leave. He guessed if those are the targets of a cult it makes sense since many people have lost their homes, families, and everything.
Mutants, normal, and the odd ones were here mixed in the crowd. Though it seems the leader doesn't like being observed like a lab rat. One day he had tried to leave only to end up grabbed for a talk. 
"You don't believe that I'm a real god, do you? I would think the business type would be more open-minded," The leader questioned. Hisashi doesn't say anything as he was shoved. Noting that the man that herded him in had blocked the entrance. Hisashi recovered as he fixed himself a bit.
"Come on now we are all adults here. I'm not about to expose you as the fraud you are," he puts on his businessman smile, "I'm just about to leave and you will never see me again."
Seems he somehow had said the wrong thing. This was to be the final time he make such a mistake in being so honest.
"You don't believe me a god? My my, I think you misunderstand. You can't just 'leave' once your in," the cult leader spoke as walks toward him. "We need to fix that come let me give you my touch. So we can open your mind."
What happened next would make anyone puke as his hand touches him in places he never wished for. "Don't touch me!" Hisashi howled hating the sensation trying to elicit fake emotions. It was a mistake he won't make again in his naivete. Seems it isn't just society that would rip siblings from each other but men themselves seeped in filth.
The cult's leader very soon learned though when he had his men restrain to give his touch. He learned this boy had no heart to change but the itch had grown. With an unfathomable strength calling all those works he worried about calling at once, he grabbed the man's skull-
And crushed him like a grape.
"W-What the hell!? What are you!?!?" The guards were shocked and horrified pulling away from him with fear. Blood still coated his hand and despite most people would be horrified at what he had done... He felt euphoric. Wondering if it was because of the man's quirk prior that he stole before crushing or maybe he was just this fucked up on the inside. A ringing in his very chest that felt so empty seemed to sing.
As he looks over at the guards a wide smile formed on his face as he felt like those villains in those comics. Like he had just finally been freed by whatever shackle had made him cautious of going too far. The fear on their face at his smile only made him cackle as he finally says what had been on his mind since that psycho asked if wanted followers.
"I'm above that fraud and I'm going to show you what a mistake you all made in trying to contain me," he jeers knowing he was always broken inside. He always has been hating every rule and monotonous life he was forced to live working for other people. Abandoned by their father and their mother's untimely demise. So leaving him the only one to struggle to care for his brother. To conform to what others wanted just to survive in this miserable existence with small-time peddling.
Unloved. Unwanted. The only thing he had is a little brother whose health depends on how much money he has.
But right now, for the first time in his life, he felt joy in this depressing and monotone life because he finally understands why he exists. 
----------------
Even if the leader was a fraud he had taught Hisashi everything he had needed to learn about how to gain followers. With actual power of worth, he can do more than dumb parlor tricks and shocks of euphoria. The government didn't exactly help make the many mountains of mutants end up shot down any lesser. So he focused on that.
After all, his old job presently has him in work limbo because of his conduct so he has time.
He learned to run toward any chaotic scene. He was no hero he had no intention of helping the police and this time he won the lottery. Someone's superpower had gone out of control and then the police came at him with guns blazing. This time tho they escaped without becoming a chalk line with people wondering what happened.
Such a sorry sight. She was curled up in the corner of the trash the evidence of flowers crawling across her features and even on the trash. A pretty thing though not his type looking almost sharp. Those eyes stared intently at him with a burning fear as the flowers seemed to grow even more.
"Relax, I'm only here to help," he assures with a small smile as he walks toward the other. Memorizing how that cult leader and how held himself with decorum. Slowly extending a hand to the woman as he smiles, "You may call me..."
All for One.
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j0eyj0rdis0n · 8 months
Note
You doing matchups? I've been wanting one for so long 🥲 creepypasta of course gotta love the skrungles . Lol I'm genderfluid but I come off more feminine than masculine. I'm 5.2 , petite is the best way to describe me . I have a septum piercing planning on getting a sternum tattoo for my birthday this year (my own design I'm excited) I have short bleached dyed pixie cut styled hair (it's gone through some things🥲) , dark brown eyes , pale olive complexion. I've been told that I'm flirty and "a bro" from my friends . Despite being flirty I can't commit for the life of me nor do I catch feelings like at all , but I gladly give out genuine compliments. Like most I'm shy at first but if I like you I'm a feral gremlin. I'm down to earth , what you see is what you get , very laid back and go with the flow in the outside , inside though I believe everyone hates me and I'm going over everything bad thing that could happen. I have insomnia and chronic depression . So I'm a sleepy type . Love games , tattoos , skulls , art ,makeup, nature and sometimes going out with the right people . I'm told I'm great to hug and I have a calming presence. I'm planning on being a tattoo artist while helping animals on the side Hope that's enough or not too much 😅 have a great week love ❤️
Send the tattoo design!! I looooove tattoos and I would be so happy to see the design! I hope you enjoy this and your tattoo journey goes well!
I match you with… Jeff the Killer!
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Jeff loves how you’re down to earth and you have the “bro” attitude. He finds it easy to connect with you that way. When you guys hang out he almost finds comfort in the way you act.
He enjoys that he can do pretty much whatever he wants around you and you don’t give him shit for it. Anyone else in the mansion always has some sort of issue with him. But you, no such thing as issues.
Honestly most of the time you’d join in his antics. He’s also quite the fan of how you’re down for any sort of mischief at any time seeing has he has very minimal friends. (let’s be honest, it’s really only Ben)
He doesn't mind that you don't catch feelings, honestly it's probably better that way. He's a literal psychopath killer anyways so it's definitely for the best.
DON'T GIVE THE MAN COMPLIMENTS‼️
He already has an ego through the fucking roof because of Nina and her compliments... You make it 100000x worse. Every time you give him even a single word of praise, he'll go on and on about it for WEEKS. He won't let that shit go. You told him that he looked good? He'll remember that when he hasn't showered in 12 days. 💀
When you two finally get close (which will take a bit since dude isn't the most trusting) and he finally hears about your insecurities and fears, he'll more than likely listen while he's doing absent minded tasks like cleaning his knife or actually making a fucking meal for once
He probably wouldn't be able to offer much help considering he's insecure himself (exactly why he inflates his ego so much). But he'd stand by you and try his best to reassure you that you're probably one of the most liked creeps around. At least you're much more well liked than he is. He'll always bring that part up.
Aaaand he’s not a sleeper at all, and honestly he'd probably get bored waiting around for you to actually fall asleep. But in the long run, his sleep schedule will improve because of you. It would take a bit to get to him actually telling you he enjoys it, but even through all the lies you can tell he's happy
He's definitely the kind to ask you to draw on him. He'd probably make you design a sleeve for him as well. He'll be picky as fuck though, so patience is needed.
And honestly, he loves your calming presence and how you can be his rock if he actually decides to open up. But once again he absolutely loves your willingness to cause chaos as well.
I hope this fits and it was enjoyable to read! Thank you for the ask!! <3
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xenon-demon · 9 months
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For the Steddie Ask Game: 5 & 11!
WOOOO OKAY I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK #11 :D Thank you so much for the ask!
5. If they had pets what would they be?
So I don't think either of them had a pet growing up - Steve because his parents didn't want an animal shedding fur all over the house or causing a ruckus, and Eddie because by the time he wanted a pet he was already living with Wayne and the trailer's way too small for most pets. Eddie does, however, go out of his way to befriend the stray cats of the trailer park and leave food out for them; he's named them all and says they all have very distinct personalities.
Once they're living together and have their own place, however, they definitely get a dog. Steve has always dreamed about having a dog, something on the bigger side, that he can play with and take with him when he goes jogging at the local park. Eddie is fine with getting a bigger dog - he might be more partial to cats thanks to his devoted following of stray cats back in the trailer park, but he's one of those people who's partial to both - but they do have some arguments about what specific breed to get. It's settled when Steve says that Eddie's welcome to get a cat of his choice if he lets Steve choose what breed of dog they get - and that's how they end up with Maverick the labrador retriever (he's one of the chocolate-coloured ones) and Elvira the incredibly spoiled housecat (who's black with some white patches).
(Also, after a while, Eddie finally twists Steve's arm into letting him realize some of his more exotic pet dreams. Eddie absolutely gets a pet snake and he's in love with her.)
11. Which one would confess their attraction/love first? Why?
(Okay this post got super long because of my chronic case of can't shut the fuck up, so I'm putting my answer to this one under a cut lmao)
OOOOOOH BOY OKAY *rubs hands together gleefully* In terms of fic, I can read/write it going either way (depending on the AU/interpretation of the characters/events leading up to the confession) but assuming we're going with a classic post-canon "vecna's dead but everyone else is fine actually" type of setting...
I think Eddie is the one who confesses first, but he's not planning for it to be a confession. See, I'm a die-hard truther of Confident Bisexual Steve Harrington™, and let me tell you, the moment that man realises he likes Eddie he is laying it on thick. Sure, not as thick as he would with girls (because homophobia is a thing, and also he's not as sure-footed with seducing another guy as he is a girl) but he is absolutely hitting Eddie with the full power of the Harrington Charm. Eddie, who is really not used to being pursued by other men (especially not like this; usually if someone's pursuing him, it's in a gay club with the intention being a bathroom quickie) absolutely does not know how to handle this. Doesn't help that Eddie's got a tiiiiiiny little complex about being inherently unlovable/"too much" for other people and commitment issues as a result of that, so he's terrified of letting anyone get too close for fear they'll realise Eddie actually is too much and leave him.
So Eddie is being driven slowly insane by Steve's relentless charisma until one day he snaps and asks Steve what the actual fuck is going on here. Because he's so frazzled (and a little insane because of the Steve of it all), he accidentally exposes himself as being very into Steve in return. Steve is thrilled, tells Eddie that what's going on here is that he really likes Eddie, and how about they kiss about it and maybe go on a date sometime? (Plus or minus the miscommunication spice of Mr Commitment Issues Munson saying "oh but this is just a fuckbuddies thing right" and Steve going "oh god oh fuck- I mean haha yeah sure" and them having 20k words of angst about it before Sorting Their Shit Out™.)
I don't think Steve would take the plunge of actually confessing because he, too, has a complex about being inherently unlovable and not being good enough for just about anyone he cares about, really, but especially Eddie. Plus, he has a lingering fear that he bullied Eddie directly in high school and forgot about it, or that Eddie might have forgiven Steve for his asshole jock days enough to be his friend but not enough to be his boyfriend. He's confident enough in himself to flirt with Eddie, especially after the first few tentative tries get what look like positive responses, but he's absolutely not going to put himself out there without some plausible deniability. If Eddie wants him, Steve reasons, then all he has to do is make it obvious that he likes Eddie back and then Eddie will make a move, right?
These boys are So Clueless and have So Many Issues and I need them to kiss on the mouth about it.
Ask me about my Steddie opinions! (steddie-pinions?)
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tizniz · 1 month
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putting this under a cut because it's gonna get dark but also just...need to type this.
so. if for some bizarre reason you choose to read this, read with caution. or skip over. probably better if you skip past this and carry on.
a fun thing to realize on this 'lovely' monday night or tuesday now is just how few people would actually genuinely care if i disappeared. if any.
what brought this on you might ask, not that anyone is asking? well besides the normal horrid thoughts that run through my head on a constant basis, my mind decide to bring up the memory of when i was cleaning houses. and it was one of our regulars. and it was the same bathroom i always started in. and i got a message from someone who used to be an incredibly close friend. the message was saying that she was being committed because she had tried to commit suicide and was going to be gone for a bit. i sent replies but they went unanswered. i stood in that bathroom numb with fear and terror and a broken heart. i didn't hear from her for a week. i'll add that she's fine and happy now, with a partner and living a good life. we don't talk anymore because she's pulled away but i want nothing but good for her.
and that memory had me thinking about people if i were to disappear. and i just...i don't really have anyone?
what about family maybe, is what a normal person would ask, right? well. i just talked to my one brother for the first time on the phone since i saw him in person at the beginning of october because our relationship has became so strained. despite him and i being probably the closest in our family. my other brother i've talked to on the phone probably less than 10 times in our entire lives. there's a large age difference and it isn't until the last like...5 years we've developed any sort of relationship. i still know very little of his life tbh. mother? nope. i've been remembering things (a little, barely) from my childhood that are making me realize how bad our relationship truly is. a child should not feel as if their mother resents and regrets having them. that is how i feel. father? even worse. talk on the phone once a month, but only for six months of the year because he goes down south and can't dare to spend that extra penny, for maybe five minutes because he has this 'list' of things he discusses.
i genuinely do not have anyone in my life. work would miss me because i do so much but they'd replace me. and the only real life friend i have is hours away on the island and also married with 3 kids. we don't talk that often.
i know i have people here online that i talk to, but no one who really knows me?? and really, they'd move on. don't lie -- you would. i'm just a passing boat in your life. and look, i know part of it is on me for not letting people in, but that's because there's a lot of shit and no one really wants that. they want the fun and happy stuff. they don't want the dark and bitter stuff. learned that the hard way. multiple times. my heart can only take so much.
so i guess it just...sucks? realizing exactly how alone you are. and how much that sucks.
because no one would really know if i disappeared. no one really checks in. and i can't even fault anyone. i don't fault anyone. because i know everyone has their lives. and they're doing their own thing. and i'd never fault anyone for that anyways. i love seeing y'all live your lives.
but i know no one really cares about how difficult it was for me to get out of bed this weekend. how i wanted to just lay there and fall asleep and not wake up. and how much i'm dreading the long weekend coming up this weekend because it's one extra day of going through this. no one really cares about the scars on my skin or the itch i get to add new marks on a constant basis. bad enough that i had to buy new sheets because my old ones were stained with blood. no one really cares about the tightness in my chest that comes from the fear i face every day. no one really cares about the aches and pains i face every day because my body is basically shutting down. no one cares that i barely eat during the day. no one really cares, period.
and i'm not mad. i'm not.
i'm just...i'm tired. i'm so tired. and it was a gut punch to realize that no one would care if i disappeared forever. maybe for a little bit they would, but then they'd move on. and i don't blame anyone. really. i can't blame anyone.
i know i'm a lot. i'm too much. or not enough. or some odd mixture of both. i'm exhausting and tiring and can be overwhelming. it doesn't matter how many pieces of me i cut away to appease people. they always leave because of me.
i guess i'm just...ready to go away? to disappear and be done with it?
feels like the better option at this point.
i'm almost too tired to continue on.
i dunno.
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zozo-01 · 2 years
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One Bad Day
So I told @yetdevout about my little head canon about how Starlight was only in the area where Blake and Avior were fighting because they were angry at their parents forcing them to look at rishta offers. I had a pretty crap day today so I'm just gonna write this.
Some clarification, a rishta is a sort of marriage proposal. It is used in a lot of Desi arranged marriages and it is up to the person to sort through them and find potential candidates to look into.
Warning: Desi Starlight (Still gender neutral tho)
--
"Ami, I get it, but I don't want to have sit down and-" The freelancer was cut off by their mother. They removed the phone from their ear, seeing it unnecessary due to the yelling on the other side of the line.
Part of them was grateful that this conversation was happening over the phone and not in person. Had their mother been in front of them, she would have gone another tangent about the 'disrespectful look' they were giving her. They could just hear the word baadmash rolling from her tongue.
If they were being honest, they would not have minded looking at the rishtas they were receiving. They weren't the type of person to date, being far too busy to dedicate their time to another person. But beyond that, they didn't want to be vulnerable. Not until they knew without a shadow of doubt that this would be someone who will be with them in the long term.
Perhaps it wasn't conventional by some standards, but it's worked for thousands of families in the past.
Starlight knows that it would work for them.
The problem was that they didn't want to deal with this shit right now.
Starlight has always seen compatibility in a logical way.
Do our likes and dislikes match? Do we have a similar moral compass? What beliefs and values are we willing to compromise to make this work?
But Starlight also believed that their heart had to want to make those decisions. Have those hard conversations. There was no point in considering the options available when they couldn't see themselves doing what was required.
It wouldn't have been fair to the rishtas or to themselves to have their heartlessness affect the outcomes. And when it comes to marriage, those outcomes will be dire.
They thought that their parents had agreed to not pester them about this until they were done with their studies at D.A.M.N. They only had a couple of years left and then their parent would have been free to barrage them with potential names all they want.
But no. The fear of Starlight getting 'too old for marriage' had crept in and now they are hellbent on changing their mind.
They understand their parent's fear. They really do. But for once, they just wished they'd look at things from Starlight's perspective. That they weren't ready to make a commitment as grand as marriage while their brains were filled with deadlines and assignments.
Despite the clarity of their mother's yelling through the phone, Starlight elected to let the words pass through their brain. They had forgone their usual sharpness in exchange for blissful ignorance.
"Yes Ami, I know. Can we talk about this later?" Their mother responded with a yes and a goodbye, before hanging up the phone. Her tone indicated that she was happy that Starlight was 'being swayed' by her words.
They let out a frustrated scream, thankful that street they were on was busy. They marched on, with no destination in mind. Their hope was with every stomp that hit the ground, a little bit of the headache that was forming would go away.
It did not.
Starlight continued their anger-filled walk, passing by an alleyway. A man ran out and bumped into them, knocking them both to the floor.
The man - daemon they mentally corrected themselves - had deep brown skin, akin to the bark on a tree. His hair was a reddish-brown, sprawled across the sidewalk.
Out from the alley came out another person. This time Starlight was able to more clearly sense his aura. A dreamwalker. It had seems as though the two magical creatures had been in an altercation.
Just as the daemon was ready to rift away, the dreamwalker let out an attack. It knocked Starlight unconscious, ignorant to how their life would be changed forever.
When they woke up, the were surrounded by red skies and jagged rock. The smoke was so dense in the air that it formed clouds in the skies.
They sat up, observing their surroundings. A myriad of questions flooded their brain.
'Where the fuck am I? How the fuck did I get here?' And the most important question with the most elusive answer.
'How the fuck do I get out?'
"Well good evening, Starlight, but it seems you're going to have to put your weekend plans on pause." They looked up to see the daemon from early, a sarcastic grin finding home on his face.
'All it takes is one shitty day for life to go to hell.'
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lady-wren-of-tella · 11 months
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okay so for the purge -
Akira would most likely participate only to end up wounded as hell but surprise surprise she dont die!!!!!!! She's literally balling bro, she probably wouldn't kill but she would definitely hit someone for fun then steal their shit
Seria would definitely take advantage of this madness and commit some crimes (she kills people she doesn't like on a monthly basis so this would be the one night she wouldn't have to worry about the seafarers trying to search for a body) and she would just drag people and try more methods
Ophelia would stick to her own ways and hide but tempt her enough and she'll kill anyone who encroaches on her territory, she's very defensive and her castle is the only thing that really remains undamaged in a town of ruin
Noor would kill no hesitation because she's kind of like a final girl sort of situation and she knows people are coming for her and so she gears up and is like "fuck it all we ball" she causes a shit ton of destruction
for the paranomal activity -
Akira doesn't believe in ghosts, but she definitely believes in superstitions with mirrors and bad luck. She has a small fear of mirrors actually, she usually covered them up before she went to bed at one point
Seria is a siren, obviously she believes in ghosts, both figuratively and literally and sometimes she carries out prayers for the women in her town so they dont get lost on the way to the afterlife
Ophelia is kind of a ghost and human, she's just stuck there, never ages really so yeah. she can also see ghosts, sometimes she helps resolve their issues, and there are like two types in her world: theres regular which means they basically had no issues and are free to go but they need guidance and theres poltergeists who have issues that need to be resolved before they go and their form depends on what issues and baggage they have. more times than not she runs into poltergeists
Noor believes in ghosts, shes almost a magnet for them and usually she can sense some bad juju. she technically deals with them for a side hustle when shes not being hunted down
omg i love your ocs sm
pls pls pls infodump in my inbox about them whenever you want to bc I'm so invested in these cool characters bro-
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star-mum · 8 months
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And so we begin
Criminal Minds Pilot Live Star Reaction
Ma’am why would you go just like that???? So fucking shady
Note to self: never stay in a potentially dangerous situation for a fear of being impolite
IVE SEEN THIS MAN BEFORE ! WHATS HIS NAME? A lot of tumblr girlies want to fuck him (good for them)
Gideon ? Is that his name?
THERE HE IS !!! THE TWIN !!!
I forgot his name again but this man is so handsome (the guy we ship with Penelope)
This is already really itching my criminology brain, I would love to take some sort of criminal psychology class
That was a very gentle nail clipping... is he keeping the victims nail clippings? Or like... “taking care” of them before killing them
MORGAN THATS HIS NAME !!!
I’m gonna say the wildest theories/accusations so please bare with me on this case (the worlds dumbest detective makes a comeback)
Okay so there was another voice in the room where they’re keeping the woman, maybe an accomplice BUT taking the “what did I tell you about the tape?” comment, it feels more like a leader/mastermind (?) kinda of thing
Like they are coaching the man we saw in the car to do these, Wax House is very much on the brain so maybe an older brother ?
“The Reid Effect” thats rude
When does his haircut get better ? (Probably ruder)
Also a lot of the victims were white blonde women with blue eyes (at least two of the pictures looked so similar) this could be about a sister or mom that has died, a need to fill that space (and if the relationship wasn’t great, a want to hurt them)
Im thinking about the younger sister cause they also mentioned the killer “dressed” them (idk if in specific type of clothing or just clean new clothes) before dumping the bodies and that can be an indicator of this sense of protection one might feel towards an younger sibling
HOTCH !! THATS THE OTHER GUY TUMBLR WANTS TO FUCK
Oh shit does he clip their nails so if they scratch him, theres less a chance of his dna under their nails ?
We’re 15 minutes in, this is too early to catch the killer
OH IS THAT THE DUDE FROM SUPERNATURAL? The sock puppet dude ? GARTH ? I think his name was Garth
“I don’t send a SWAT team into a house with kids” i like this lady, immediately
They’re not gonna go on a DID lane on ep 1 are they? (I wrote this when the found the Go board)
“Are you a fan of Andrew Baels work?
“No, Im a fan of yours” I KNEW HE WAS GONNA SAY THAT SKSKSKS HAD THE LINE VERBATIM
I love being thrown in the middle of plot with no context (not a read, I genuinely love it)
WE ARENT GOING A DID PLOT ???
HERE SHE IS !!! PENELOPE BABY !!!! “I thought i was calling the office of supreme geniuses” “look gorgeous” AAAAA
I understand the Hotch thing, very gentle dilf vibes from him
See these like password investigating scenes make me feel so much more confident about my own passwords KSKSKSK without going into big detail of course but you could not get my passwords from anything in my room, SPECIALLY if you have limited tries
He knows he’s being followed OR the girl is in the TRUNK ???
“He said it was your idea to keep the girls in the boat” THAT WAS RISKYYYY SIRRRRR
YES !! GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE GIRLIE !!!
“Tiny Tim” KSSKKSSKS
HELLO ???? Well that’s fun 😶
Okay this show has like 16 seasons (im pretty sure it’s still going) so I’m not gonna commit to 22x16 Live Star Reactions, for I am incredibly inconsistent, but this is a dang good show (thank you Sunny @tenpintsofsundrop <33)
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Which of the characters commits the worst offences? Very curious what else MJ does, looking forward to learning about it in game!
OH BOY
UH
BIG CW/TW AHEAD BE ADVISED SOME FUCKED SHIT HAPPENING BELOW THE KEEP READING
Short answer, Adryan and Hannah. They're actually murderers. MJ does kill, but only in the game. His life before MC he hasn't even really gotten in a fight (Ill go into detail below)
Adryan kills what he fucks. Sometimes while he's fucking them. Incredibly manipulative and horrid. Also a shapeshifter and will put on great displays to incite fear and establish dominance. Mind game type. Sexual torture with Geiger eldritch being. Also he eats people. He's a cult leader and a literal god, with the complex in tow. Disrespects and abuses your bodily autonomy to the extremes.
Oh. And the Den/Motherhood thing. That's. Probably the worst
Sometimes death is a blessing.
(ie/ex. Non/dubcon, cannibalism, gorefucking, torture, religious fuckery, heavy manipulation and mind fuckery, incredibly sadistic, fucking to death, murder murder murder, forced pregnancy of both genders, etc)
Hannah tortures and maims people in her barn shed. Extreme sexual torture. To the point where the sexual aspect of it is blurred. It's just sort of torture. And she's getting off on it. On her better days she cruelly plays with her prisoner. Sliding a collar around their neck and 'forgetting' the door isnt closed. Letting them run out thinking their free until the chain connected is finally brought to attention, going tight and yanking their asses to the ground. Stocks, spiked collars turned inside out. Eating them piece by piece. Slowly flaying them. She's going to kill whoever is in the shed. And it's going to be slow. It's going to be bountiful
(ie/ex - non/dubcon, genital mutilation, cannibalism, torture, gorefucking, extreme sadism, drugging, good chunk of drugging, several different kinds of drugging, good amount of masochism and self harm, just, brutal shit, murder, etc) Funny enough. Before the game MJ hasn't done anything too egregious. Any little obsessions he might have when he was younger was stomped out by the cruelty that eventually came from that person. That and thinking about murdering the townspeople. But that was mostly as a teenager.
During the game though. Oof. He stalks MC, breaks into your house, steals your stuff, or,,,,uses it, kidnaps them, does....stuff while theyre asleep. The worse his mental state the more likely hes willing to do horrendous shit. Even in the healthier state, hes like. Still keeping you captive for the most part. Alot of the worse stuff happens when you try to escape or are aggressive and mean towards him (without manipulation) Sanity drops He just wants you to see that he loves you. He's going to make you see that you love him. He'll take care of you. Terms and conditions apply
(ie, ex - dub/noncon, somno, alot of somno. kidnapping, abuses you boundaries ignores your boundaries no boundaries no boundaries unless you really lay them down and even then eh, worse states - violence, breaking bones, possible death, possible mutilation. Mental torture, but like, not on purpose, hes just as equally being tortured, dual natured, etc,etc)
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hungerpunch · 2 years
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass it to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖
ahhh thank you so much!!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა this is so kind. i got this message anonymously, too, but obvi i'm only going to do this once. but thank you to whatever sweet anon soul sent this to me as well!
this issooo hard when i'm the type of person who posts fic then actively works to forget it exists bc it generally humiliates me. i tried not to think too hard abt this and just go with my gut. these are NOT RANKED in any particular order.
could i make you shy? lewis/valtteri
i have a laundry list of insecurities that i have abt this fic (no capitalization bc i was too lazy, disjointed transitions, some characterization which i would definitely change were i to re-write it) but ummm this fic is actually a love letter to myself. yeah. i worked on it mostly alone, over a long period of time, chipping away at it. which is not really like me. i usually have to write something all in one or two takes or it will not happen. idk what abt this let me gradually take my time with it but it was a new experience for me. also it was my first fic in six years, well after i'd given up and gone "guess i'm just never gonna write again" and like kinda made my peace with that. that's why i say it's a love letter. it was sort of like proving to myself i could still be creative. still tell a story. which was a massive relief.
that's why god made towels pierre/charlotte/charles
i'm laughing bc this fic was not ever intended to like. be Good Literature. i wrote it in a dazed fervor and then published it anonymously. and i just assumed it'd either be ignored or shat on. so when a bunch of people ended up loving it, it was such a pleasant surprise!!! also just more proof to me that things don't need to be exacting narrative masterpieces in order for people to enjoy them and i should just post more shit that makes me have fun.
bruised giver, grit spinner niall/zayn
i'm putting this on the list because it's the only big bang i've everrr done and my longest fic but i cannot actually read it for fear of wanting to put my eyeballs in a blender and wazzing my consciousness up into a smoothie.
that being said, i'd wanted to do a z-boys au in that fandom the entire time i was in it so it was a good exercise in properly committing to something and seeing it all the way through. and i really do think that if i could muscle through it i would find some beautiful lines that i'm still proud of. i will never do a big bang again tho :'D
a gun is not discursive arthur/eames
genuinely cannot beeeelieve the amount of kudos this fic has. of all my fics idk why this one. at least this one is a little easier to re-read but i can tell how young i was here (a lot of it doesn't stand up to much interrogation imo). i do like some of my prose tho.
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mcat720 · 2 years
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My ‘The Batman’ thoughts, review, rant….
SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
If you’ve seen my posts or read my other “reviews” you may have caught on to the fact that I am 100% undeniably a hardcore fan girl of Robert Pattinson and was so excited for the release for The Batman. I’ve been counting the fucking DAYS to see it in theaters because I knew this was going to be something special….. and oh boy was I not disappointed. I am a self proclaimed movie fanatic, and I hold sacred the act of seeing movies on the big screen. I don’t fathom myself as some snobbish critic and hold standards on ‘Cinema’ as some would say. I enjoy all types of movies. The most entitled tear jerking, awards baiting, pieces of ArT 🤌🏻 that can be overrated, and the silly ass stupid, mind numbing, dick joke type of comedy’s designed to make you forget about the real world and it’s ever lasting problems. I admit, I love and enjoy the fun, overblown, action packed comic book movies that have come out in the last 10-15 years just the same as every other person in the world. Their easy and make you feel good… most of the time. Marvel has dominated the box office for a reason and made something special out of second rate comic book characters we didn’t really know before they showed up on the screen. But to take on The Batman.. a character as familiar as your own family members and as everlasting as any character of the 21st century? That’s the real challenge. What could we possibly see as NEW in the Batman canon. What else is there to possibly explore that we haven’t seen in countless revisions and reinventions. Well Matt Reeves has the answer. I’ve always loved Batman as a pop culture staple. I’ve been watching DC movie characters as long as I can remember and I’ve always loved the dark worlds DC provided these iconic hero’s and antihero’s. Batman is probably my most favorite hero besides Superman. I love them both for different reasons, where my idealistic hopeful and righteous side admires the absolute loveliness of Superman/Clark Kent (who IS the most powerful superhero-No Debate!) I am seduced by the dark, mysterious, somewhat borderline mentally unhinged nature of Batman/Bruce Wayne. He has no special powers or supernatural upper hands… he’s just a man. A deeply sad, distressed, confused but smart, determined and creative man trying to find meaning in the chaos that became his life. He is so relatable not because of what he CAN do , but what he has BEEN through. Even if you’ve never experienced the kind of loss he has, it’s not hard to understand his pain. That’s what Matt Reeves latched onto… the Pain of Batman/Bruce Wayne. And I use the slash because in this movie, there is no distinguishable line between who he is in and out of the cowl. His pain and loss is carried with him no matter the face he decides to show for the day. It was brilliant to start of this new take on the character as not having a “split personality” of sorts to show the fake billionaire playboy and the masked avenger of the night. He isn’t there yet in his life. He wants to create a change in Gotham but isn’t impacting the way he wants… which is something we all see everyday in the real world. Real change is not made by the well meaning… it’s usually by the tragic occurrences that shake the world so bad you have to do something about it or at least attempt to. Robert Pattinson showed the Inner workings of Bruce and his mindset so beautifully without words. I am astonished by the emotions pulsing through his EYES from each scene of his Batman. I was truly blown away and I’m biased I admit but this was beyond loyalist applause.. I was impressed. He slinks through the shadows, a figure of fear, an ever present eye on the criminal element.. as any good Batman should be! But it doesn’t stop them from committing crimes. He can beat the shit out of someone and there will always be another lowlife waiting in the wings. Gotham is such a character in this movie and you really feel this is a fully lived in city that has fallen from grace and every kind of unruly creature is lurking around waiting for their shot at power.
We jump right into year 2 and no origin story needed. We know the tale so well we could imagine it all happening in five seconds of backstory that’s not necessary to film anymore. We get where Bruce is coming from and feel his anger without having to be told he is angry. He shows it. Vengeance he is called, again and again. He believes it too. He only thinks in black and white, right and wrong. No grey areas allowed. But his world gets pulled upside down by the beautiful, morally ambiguous, strong Selina Kyle and the insane, unpredictability, unhinged Riddle that causes all the mayhem in this masterfully set detective story. And OMG does he catch some feels for our new Catwoman! There chemistry is off the charts. The movement and tension between these two lost souls is so delicious you can practically taste the sparks flying off all that leather and rubber covering most of their bodies. The softly spoken words and longing looks makes this the most sexy iteration of the Bat and the Cat in my mind..and Michelle Pfeiffer LICKED Michael Keaton in the Tim Burton film! That was hot but COME ON.. when Rob looks deeply into Zoe Kravitz eyes and caresses the words “look at me”… I almost DIED 💀
Paul Dano as the Riddler is truly terrifying and almost too close to being real. I love the horror elements Matt brought to the film and wasn’t afraid to lean into the sickness and uncomfortable nature of murder and mayhem. Even making you give unwanted sympathy to this villain. Its miles away from the bloodless unreality of the marvel movies I was genuinely shocked to see some hardcore (for a PG 13 film) violence in a “superhero” movie. He really pushed those boundaries and all the power to him. We get so many influences in this movie. 70s crime dramas, horror, noire, subtle dark comedy, comic book references. It’s all there. I feel like this is the kind of film made specifically for someone like me to enjoy. I’ll happily sit through 3-4 hours of a movie and never complain. I want the quiet moments, the stuff you reflect on. The slow burn that leads you to a heart pounding finale that may or may not make you entirely satisfied. I want a flawed character trying to figure it out. Fails time and time again, but never gives up. By the time Batman is so exhausted and close to passing out (as any normal human being would be inclined to do) he pushes himself to give more…more and more and more of himself. All to show his city that he is not just vengeance. He is who they need him to be. The symbol of hope. The protector in the shadows. The knight himself. He sees his hate has caused an impact he never intended, and as anyone faced with their own demons, he has a choice. Give them your pain or take on their pain for them.
The movie is shot so beautifully it’s well deserved that the cinematographer recently took home an Oscar for DUNE, and I’m hopeful he will again for a the Batman in a years time. The score is unbelievable and so iconic I can just see it being played on repeat for Batman fans for years to come. The choice to use Nirvanas ‘Something in the Way’ at the beginning of the movie and the end of the movie is deliberate. He will always be torn in his choice of duty and vengeance. Love and hate. Righteousness and selfishness. There will always be something in the way of Bruce getting beyond his pain and fear. He needs it too much. But he can become something good, at least a little bit for the sake of his city. And the people who need someone to show them the way out of the dark, even if you can never leave the dark yourself. His final scene with Selina drives this home. He wants something with her but doesn’t know what. She can’t understand either but what they both know is that he can’t leave Gotham. He is spoken for. And isn’t that the tragedy of Bruce and Selina? To always want, but never to have.
I cannot wait to see where this series from Matt and Rob takes us over the years. I predicted we would get something weird, and I was right, but not so weird as to alienate a world wide audience. Rob put his whole heart into The Batman and I can’t help but root for as many follow ups as possible. I want alll the spin offs. The HBO MAX shows, the sequels, the inspired fanfiction! This is a world I want to sink my teeth into and drown blissfully in. I haven’t even gone into detail the supporting cast of Colin Farrell as Penguin, John tuturo as Carmine Falcone, Jeffrey wright as Gordon Andy Serkis as Alfred..etc. all amazing and deserving of praise! But I feel we will have so much more content of this Batman/Gotham world that I will have plenty of time to gush on their behalf. I sat and watched this movie twice in theaters and eagerly anticipate it’s inclusion on HBO MAX in a few days, and I can safely say I want to see it on repeat for the forceable future. Matt Reeves envisioned a beautiful world with complicated characters and was brought to life by world class actors. I bow down to his vision and pray we get endless content for years to come. Batman will endure, and he will always be retold. I just hope we get more people like Matt and Rob who show us that there is always something new to be told in a classic tale. PLEASE for your own cinema loving self respect. See. This. Movie. 🖤🦇
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....oof I am concerned
Driving up that first night I knew I was in over my head, that I could get hurt. But then he was so kind and sweet and affectionate and wanted to pace things and... I stopped worrying
But. Now I feel it. I already am starting to think of him as my boyfriend and we haven't talked about that and... on the one hand I'm pretty sure that's what he wants. He started this whole thing (even BEFORE we got together) talking about his relationship needs. Slowed things down because he wanted to do *this* right. Keeps making references to how he hasn't connected with other people like me, making plans for trips together two months from now, etc etc.
I still don't fully understand why he keeps asking *me* why I might think we've bonded so well so quickly. I need to flip that question the next time. Or one of the times he stops us mid-any sort of touch to ask what I'm thinking or feeling. I can't tell if there's an answer he's looking for?
It's just hard because he keeps asking in moments when I'm suddenly overwhelmed with this wave of feeling SO connected or safe or in love, and it still is WAY too soon to be feeling that. And with whatever energy thing he does, maybe he feels it, I don't know, but I don't feel ready to just say 'hey I'm insane and we've BARELY been dating a month so I'm not sure if this is limerance or do I love you? Because... this? This.
Omfg holding him close when he takes his shirt off? I can't feel where I end. Also... he's *hot* hot. Not 'ooh I assumed he'd be skinny I love a skinny nerd' hot. But... like... beautiful. I don't have better language like how a gay Greek sculpture would carve a woman... still too broad, too muscular, but also delicate with lines that flow so softly at the same time. When he wouldn't take his shirt off at first, I assumed there was something to feel a little self conscious about? But. Damn.
Getting sick this weekend I know was probably for the best this needed a short pause. I needed a second of reset. I've gotten to clean some. But also I need to think about what I really want here. Because... I'm beginning to veer into a girlfriend lane with a guy who *has said* some red flag stuff.
Why have there been SO MANY "girlfriends?" What is different now? Because there's no way I have anything they didn't.
Is he monogamous now? I *know* he's jealous. How does he define monogamous for himself? Why was he so comfortable putting the blame of the Ey./Sa. on her? If his friend was making the girl he was with uncomfortable why wasn't he more protective?
Also why does he hide when he's with someone that shit is weird. That scoots up. That feels very Matthew a year in to me. 'No I love you I want to be with you but what will *insert rando* think you know'. No, it's because you want to look single.
Is it a fear of commitment? Or does he like his options?
He just seems too comfortable lying. But then his memory doesn't seem great so...
Also he is ALWAYS drinking. And I know right now that is pot-kettle but still.
And not that it's bad, but I don't enjoy hearing SO MUCH about his exes or past sexual experiences. Nor do I really want to talk about mine. I am not day-to-day jealous, but I hate having to be fake in conversations, pretending to be chill and fine like we're talking about movies while he describes his ex squirting on him. But, again, it's like when Matthew and I first got together I feel like I'll sound immature and inexperienced and uncool for not wanting to know.
I dunno. I need to get my head on right and refocus.
I get the sense some of his complaints about others tell on him a little. When he complained about people's partners being clingy, I assumed I should take note and give him space. Instead, he definitely seems like the 'I want you where I am' 'yeah I saw you last night what are you doing tonight?' type. Which I don't hate... but... I'd built up my expectations based on what he said.
Then the complaints about Da. exaggerating his title or accomplishments at work, then pointing out that a guy *might* feel like he had to if he was intimidated by a girl. With all his one detail off stories.
Just... no matter how right it feels when it feels right right now? I need to stop myself from getting too attached.
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