#some of y'all follow me for sw fic right

[beck-a-leck]

It's Star Wars Day and I'll promote my fic if I want to!

So most of my SW fic can be divided into 2 camps. The Wells of Silence AU, and everything else.

The Wells AU (aka Talking Without Speaking, Hearing Without Listening) - Rule 63, female Anakin Skywalker, male Padme Amidala fics, and varying events that happen when I go around and mess with that story.

Wells of Silence - 100k, T, F/M & Gen, Complete

Obi-Wan watched the security recording, numb and cold. What he was seeing should have rocked him to his core, but it was almost as if he had expected this to happen. Perhaps he had. He hadn’t been blind to Anakin’s struggles over the last seven months. He had witnessed her sheer desperation to protect her children and husband. Instead of recognizing the touch of the Dark Side growing in her, he had left her to Palpatine’s whims. He had failed her.

The OG Canon Compliant AU that started it all. Beginning near the end of the clone wars when Anakin's pregnancy is discovered and following her through the birth of the twins, the end of the war, and the fall of the Jedi.

Echos - 40k, T, F/M & Gen, Complete

The original companion piece to Wells Of Silence, including deleted scenes, bonus content, and a look at the future of the universe within the AU.

Take My Arm That I Might Reach You - 8k, T, Gen, In Progress

On the banks of Mustafar's lava river, Obi-Wan hears something. Someone calls out for help. He turns back, takes Vader from the burning river bank. Anakin can't be gone, if she asked for help, she has to still be in there.

The Redemption AU of the Wells AU. Because I saw somewhere that GL said Obi-Wan wouldn't have left Anakin on Mustafar if he had asked for help, and because I love to hurt myself I put it in the Wells Universe for extra pain. In which things are kind of terrible, but nobody dies, they just get really big boo-boos.

Hello Darkness - 8k, M, Gen, Complete

Anakin makes a decision to run away and keep her secret safe. For a while, things are going fine, and then everything goes horribly wrong. Palpatine issues Order 66.

I had a REALLY sad idea, I made it worse, I wrote the fic to hurt others. A deviation from the original Wells AU, in which I kill basically everyone except Anakin and she has to deal with that. It's a dark fic.

My Old Friend - 8k, T, F/M & Gen, In Progress

In the aftermath of Order 66 and the defeat of Emperor Palpatine, and still reeling from great personal loss, Anakin Skywalker has tasked herself with combing the galaxy to bring any lost Jedi she can find back home. Hidden in a small mining colony, Anakin finds a familiar face.

The unofficial sequel to Hello Darkness where I tried to make some things a little better. Also an apology fic for a friend for being a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad person for hurting her feelings with Hello Darkness. In which I try and make Anakin feel a little bit better by giving her a smol Grogu who needs someone to watch after him and Anakin happened to be the first Force Sensitive person he's found since Order 66.

Hello Darkness - Mortis - 3k, T, Gen, Complete

Anakin rejected her destiny once on Mortis. The Force does not like to be ignored. She has a role to play and it will bring her to it one way or another.

In which I truly cannot be stopped from torturing Anakin within the Wells Universe, because I took her from the darkest Hello Darkness timeline and then just made her miserable for several long years after than and Then had the Force come torture her with visions of dead loved ones because it wants her to do a job.

Everything Else - exactly what it says on the tin. Star Wars fics I've written that aren't connected to the Wells of Silence AU.

Better Left Unsaid - 2k,G, Gen, Complete

Satine chose Mandalore. Obi-Wan chose the Jedi. They are young. Their futures, their duties are more important than their hearts. She believes the sting of lost love will fade in time, and it does, but something else grows to take its place.

In which I looked at Korkie Kryze and said "lmfao that kid's supposed to be Bo-Katan's son? Hell no!" and wrote the fic about how Korkie is definitely Obi-Wan's son but nobody talked about it. Even Satine.

Aggressive Negotiations - 700, G, Gen, Complete

Everything about Skywalker was unorthodox. Even his parenting skills. A war meeting was the last place Rex expected to find a pair of toddlers, but there they were. But Rex is an officer, and a professional, and he will absolutely hold a child's hand if they ask. He's not a monster.

I saw an incredibly cute video of a child being adorable and immediately had to write a fic featuring smol Skywalker twins and some clones.

Dear Theodosia - 4k, G, Gen, Complete

A little tribute to the adoptive dads of the Star Wars universe set to the quintessential Dad Song.

Hamilton and Star Wars are absolutely perfect together and I think the adoptive dads in the Star Wars universe deserved some love, so they got a tribute via the perfect Dad Song.

#becky writes things #star wars #may the 4th be with you #lmao i doubt this will even show up in the tags there's so many links #some of y'all follow me for sw fic right? #i doubt this post will even show up in the tags #there's so many links #anyways feel free to drop in and ask me about future sw fic things because hoo boy do I have ideas! #and they're all mostly set in the Wells AU #i do have 2 WIPs listed and there's another huge project I've been slowly working on for a few years now

[fruitcoops]

Hi Eve! firstly love your writing so much! I was wondering if you could write a part 3 to the falling through the ice fic maybe with more comfort and cuddles and just lingering anxiety about loops being too cold and cap just constantly hugging him because " i've gotta keep you warm mon loup" and loops just melting? thanks!

Parts one and two linked here for anyone who's not caught up! Thanks for your patience on this one, y'all--it's been a hell of a week, so here's some fluff to round it out. Combined with an ask for Lyall being a little starstruck in reference to the most recent headcanon list. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for mentioned past injury

Hushed voices floated from the living room as Sirius unloaded the dishwasher, wincing whenever a too-hot glass singed his fingertips. His skin was still recovering from the prior day’s pond fiasco—anything much warmer than room temperature made his nerves tingle uncomfortably. Perhaps taking his gloves off to get a better grip on his stick when he pulled Remus out had been a bad idea.

“—just Sirius, dad,” Remus said from the other side of the wall with no small amount of exasperation, louder than he had been before. “What, you think it’s weird?”

Sirius froze with his arm halfway to the cupboard. Weird. Lyall Lupin, the father of the love of his life, thought his relationship with Remus was weird. He set the plate down on the counter with utmost care, straining his ears to hear more as his pulse picked up.

“Oh, come on,” Lyall scoffed. There was a light thwap, followed by Remus’ quiet snickering. “You know I don’t think that.”

“Then why are you being so awkward about this?” There was laughter in Remus’ voice; a good sign, in Sirius’ book. If Lyall had a problem with them being together, Remus’ tone certainly wouldn’t be so light. He took a small step toward the door.

“I’m not being awkward!”

“You are!”

“Shh.” There was a pause before Lyall said something too quiet for Sirius to hear. He scrunched his nose and edged even closer.

Remus snorted, though he kept his voice low. “What, you want me to ask for his autograph or something?”

“Alright, smartass, laugh it up,” Lyall grumbled with another affectionate swatting sound. “Making fun of your dear old dad like you didn’t do the exact same thing.”

“I just think it’s funny you have an even bigger crush on him than I did.”

“I do not!” Sirius smiled to himself as he rolled the clean glass between his hands. “It just takes me by surprise to see the captain of the Gryffindor Lions taking a nap on my couch.”

So it was about me, he thought, feeling his face heat with mild embarrassment and no small amount of pride. Hope and Lyall had done nothing but make him feel welcome in their home, though it had to be a pretty abrupt change for them. They didn’t have the same timeline as he and Remus did, after all.

“Would it make you feel better if he took a nap in my bedroom, instead?” Remus asked with an audible grin.

“Oh my—” Lyall huffed. “You just can’t cut me a break on this one, can you?”

“I’m just giving you grief, don’t worry,” Remus assured him. Sirius abandoned the dishes entirely to tiptoe right up to the corner of the wall for prime eavesdropping. “To be honest, I bet he hasn’t even noticed.”

“Noticed what?”

“That you two are still, y’know, starstruck.”

“He can probably hear us right now. The walls in this damn house are like parchment paper.”

“You’ve been saying that since I was six.”

“And it’s still true.”

Sirius stifled a laugh, keeping his ear near the open doorway. They worked in silence, save for the sounds of whatever football game Lyall had put on for background noise. “He really likes you,” Remus said after a minute or two.

“Who, Sirius?”

“Yeah.” Shut up, Sirius thought fervently. He wondered if there was a way he could quickly end their conversation before Remus spilled all his secrets without giving away that he had been listening, but the little fucker kept on talking before an answer sprang to mind. “He thinks you’re cool. Don’t know where he got that idea from, but—”

“You should never have aged past eight,” Lyall mused as Remus laughed under his breath. “You were a cute kid. It all went downhill from there.”

“Seriously, dad, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Lyall sighed as one of the teams scored a touchdown and the crowd nearly covered their conversation with applause. “I just don’t want to embarrass you.”

“What?” Remus’ voice had lost its teasing edge and gone soft; Sirius bit his lip against a smile as he scooted closer. “You’d never embarrass me.”

“He’s a celebrity, Re. I have his damn jersey in my closet. Eighteen months ago we weren’t anything but fans in a crowd.” He paused, and a shuffling sound muffled his next words. “I know it’s stupid, but it still feels unreal sometimes that the Sirius Black is just…here. He’s in my janky little house and he’s having breakfast with us and he’s kissing my son and I don’t know what the hell to say. There are a thousand cooler people who can talk about more interesting things with the greatest hockey player of your generation, and he’s stuck sitting next to your dad.”

“My dad is the best person I can think of to talk with my boyfriend,” Remus said firmly, still keeping his voice low. “My dad doesn’t ask about his stats, or the next game, or make him feel like he has to keep on being the captain when he just wants to eat breakfast. Sirius likes you. I promise he does. And if he didn’t like you because you didn’t worship the ground he walked on, I would’ve told him to fuck off a while ago.”

Lyall’s laugh was a little choked up; there was another thump, like he had given Remus one of his classic shoulder-slaps. Sirius blew out a slow breath. Hitting the nail on the head once again, Lupin, he thought. You and your powers of mind-reading. “He’s a good kid,” Lyall said after a moment. Sirius felt his heart clench. “He’s good for you. Couldn’t be happier for you both, bud.”

Remus hummed. “If you ever do want an autograph, though—”

“Alright, go find your mother or traumatize your brother or whatever else,” Lyall interrupted with exasperation dripping from every word. “Get outta here.”

Sirius hurried back to the dishwasher as Remus’ laughter drew closer to the doorway, fumbling for the first object he could find. A familiar hand patted his hip and he leaned down to knock their temples together, smiling at the kiss on the cheek he received in return. “How much of that did you hear?” Remus murmured with obvious amusement.

Sirius’ ears burned. “How much of what?”

“You’re putting a cup on the plate shelf, baby.”

“Is it supposed to go somewhere else?” he asked, praying Remus would fall for his false innocence.

Judging by his raised eyebrows, it didn’t work. “You’d make a shit spy,” Remus informed him with a swat to his rear as he took the cup and set it on the lowest shelf. “You’re great at eavesdropping, but godawful at hiding things.”

“I hid you for three months. And I was in the closet for twelve years.”

“I stand by the fact that our friends are just oblivious.”

Sirius kissed his forehead and set aside a plate to wrap him in a hug, ignoring Remus’ playful protest at the manhandling. He smelled good, like the jasmine oils Hope put in her dryer balls. His hands were dry from the wind and callused on Sirius’ lower back. “Are you warm enough?” he asked, nuzzling into the soft hair that fluffed out over his ear.

“Nice and toasty.”

“You sure?”

Remus narrowed his eyes, but didn’t stop tracing light patterns over Sirius’ spine. “You worry about me more than both my parents combined.”

Only because I almost lost you. Sirius closed his eyes, feeling the steady rise and fall of Remus’ chest against him. It was deep, unhurried—nothing like the shallow, uneven shivering from before. His cheek was warm even through Sirius’ shirt.

“Baby?” he asked quietly. Sirius hummed in acknowledgement. The pet name still sent a flood of butterflies through his stomach. “Everything okay?”

“I love your parents. I love you.”

Remus’ back relaxed under his touch. “They were worried about you yesterday.”

“They were worried about you,” he corrected.

Remus pulled back just enough to cup his face in one hand, skimming a thumb under his eye. Slight worry shadowed his expression; it mirrored how he had looked as Sirius wrapped an extra scarf around his neck before he went to get the paper that morning, when a panicky feeling had flashed through him at the thought of Remus going out in the snow. “They can be worried about both of us at the same time, Sirius. Yesterday was…a lot. Are you sure you’re okay?”

An instinctive yes hung suspended on the tip of his tongue, but Sirius hesitated and rested their foreheads together. “I will be,” he said instead. The memory of a four-foot hole emptying into dark, icy water was still burned in his mind. Of Remus’ purple lips and glazed eyes, of the tears striping Jules’ cheeks. “Not right now, but I’ll be alright.”

Remus kissed him, the sweet kind Sirius could feel all the way in his toes, then stepped back and pressed a plate into his hand with the slicker of a teasing smile. “D’accord. Do you know where this goes, or do you need me to show you again?”

#sirius black #remus lupin #lyall lupin #coops #sweater weather #vaincre #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #falling through ice #series #family fluff #eavesdropping

[djarrex]

Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh). 

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that. 

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.  

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask? 

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you. 

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.  

<3 

M

#long post #m personal

[sassysnowperson]

writer's meme - TY to @r0b0tb0y for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

168 - oh man that's more than I'd realized. I passed 150 and didn't even notice!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,133,901

So many.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Since r0b0tb0y and I were just talking about this, I conveniently have a list of all 20 ranked by number of works

134 - Star Wars 7 - Original Works 7 - Marvel 2 - Pirates of The Carribean 2 - The Old Guard 2 - Discworld 1 - Good Omens 1 - Leverage 1 - The Good Place 1 - Avatar: The Last Airbender 1 - Ocean’s 11 1 - Harry Potter 1 - The Goblin Emperor 1 - Gundam Wing 1 - Star Trek: TNG 1 - Hades (Videogame) 1 - Sailor Moon 1 - Russian Doll 1 - Mummy/Wonder Woman crossover

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lol, looking at my top five - it falls into two categories

1. Fics I wrote right at the height of a fandom's popularity that got a massive reader boost because it was the Hot Thing Right Then

2. Star Wars Fix-Its

~

A Series of Better Decisions - A Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it where Anakin talks to Obi-Wan and spends Revenge of the Sith in a stressed-out bisexual panic instead of becoming a Space Fascist. He winds up fake-poly-dating Obi-Wan to try to bring down Palpatine, and eventually winds up in a better place due to the power of Quitting Your Job and becoming a househusband.

Galactic Response Time - Captain Marvel - an at the time MCU canon-compliant gen fic that ran the universe forward and explained how Carol really TRIED to show up for all those other crises that happened, but it turns out most of the major MCU disasters only lasted like three days and space is real big, y'all. Featuring Nick Fury cathartically bitching with his Space Bestie.

New Lands for the Living - Fix-it where the sequel trilogy ends Even Worse, Poe goes back in time to mercy-kill the timeline, and much to his dismay winds up married to just-before-Original-Trilogy Luke Skywalker. He has an existential crisis about his own existence, meets some competent women, and starts fixing things.

Life's Little Pleasures - The Good Omens fic where I put all my ace feelings, featuring metaphysical bonding and good scotch.

Flustered - Another Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it, where Order 66 never happens. Anakin gets some therapy and Padme gets a horrible crush on Obi-Wan.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I love getting to talk to people about fics, and I so appreciate people making the effort to comment I want to spend some time with them! It's so much easier not to comment, I know.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is not my normal wheelhouse. I usually go angst that gets resolved by the end. Let me look to see what the options are.

Okay, I think we've got two contendors: In Waystation an exhausted Poe Dameron crash-lands in a station where a Bodhi Rook that lived and then hid now lives with Baze and Chirrut. There is a little epilgue that implies they're going to meet again, but the bulk of the fic does end with Poe making the decision to go back to the Resistance, and leaving Bodhi behind. Still, I think it's more wistful, rather than angsty.

Time Enough for Mourning takes it though, I think. Davits Draven/Antoc Merrick, that is entirely about Draven mourning the fact that Antoc has died. The end is still, I think, more cathartic than angsty, but it is overall probably the strongest "break out the waterworks" of my fics.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do occasionally, usually when someone prompts me and I find something in there that makes my brain go!!! I think the strangest is probably The Face Underneath. It's a Cassian Andor/Elim Garak fic where I drag Garak into the Star Wars Universe for a triple drabble series where he is an old mentor of Cassian's.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mmm, not proper hate. Realtalk, the most devastating one for me was when I posted a fic that the only comment was a spelling critique.

And yes, there was a spelling error, but still, very crushing to have that be the only feedback. (It has since found a few readers that said nice things, very healing :D)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes! Uh - consensual, between adults, often M/M adults, tho I have written explicit femslash, hetfic, and poly piles. It's usually affectionate, often plays with power dynamics even if it doesn't go into full dom/sub.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone has made me aware of, I've never looked.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Had a request or two, but never been linked the result - so not sure if it didn't happen or if I just didn't get linked. I welcome it!

I have had several fics podficced, and I LOVE that. What a joy! Making a blanket permission statement that allowed podfic is one of the best decisions I've made as a fic author. Suddenly, Podfic!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once or twice! I like the idea of doing it, but follow-through is hard. Hoping to do some co-writing soon though, so we will see!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sorry, unrepentant multi-shipper here. I like possibilities, and finding the story that will bring people together, more than one specific thing.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't have ANYTHING I've given up on, but there are a few fics in my unpublished drafts that were beautiful ideas, and really struggled to become contained stories. They all want to be sprawling things, and I have not felt sprawling-thing-writing passionate about those ideas. But, you never know! Inspiration may strike.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd say character voice, along with that, dialogue. Also humor moments that still have real weight and don't undercut the story, as well as straight comedy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

You see, I, uh, do this thing where I don't really end a sentence - I think about ending it, I even assume, at some point while I'm writing that I have ended it; I have not and it meanders, persistently, until I have constructed a whole paragraph made out of one chain of words and a hodgepodge of punctuation.

Also the thing where I accidentally use an unusual word five times in one paragraph because my brain has grabbed onto it like an excited puppy and keeps offering it up as the Perfect Word.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love having multilingual characters. When writing, I tend to keep all the words in English and use dialogue tags to denote language shift - unless I am inventing the language, or have a speaker of that language willing to beta the bits to make sure I don't mess them up too badly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Actually wrote and posted? Rogue One.

Fandom of my heart my younger self spun out stories in my imagination about? Where if I had my own computer and easy access to a fic archive they almost certainly would have become spectacularly earnest fics?

ReBoot and Sailor Moon. The Sailor Moon was an AU that took place on the sun and they all had kick-ass horses. Baby Sass knew what was up.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Nope, sorry, can't pick, love them all in different ways for different reasons.

Tagging: @semisweetshadow, @anamelesstraveler, @jules-of-the-crown - and generally if you follow me and want to do it, do so and tag me in it!

#fic talk #about the writer #long post #text post

[sushiburritonoms]

If you're still looking for questions; do you prefer canon-verse or Modern AUs for Star Wars? Is there a crossover you've not seen yet but would like to? Do you have any weird pet peeve you've come across in fic (you can be as vague as you want about it)? Do you have a preferred drink whole writing?

Hey anon thanks for playing along!

Modern AU or Canon: I totally prefer canon SW to modern AUs. I actually don’t read that many and Sacred Texts is the first time I’m writing an extended modern AU in any of my fandoms. I find it challenging to write these characters without their unique characteristics (Jedi powers, mandalorian armor) so y'all are going to have to tell me I’m at all successful! Plus I feel like in canon AUs I can bullshit to a certain extent and people give me the benefit of the doubt. In the modern AU, if make a mistake and use the wrong nickname for an Air Force grunt or forget where Jedha is located in Arizona and it’ll throw way more people off. No pressure or anything ;_;

Crossovers…oh Anon. Sweet anon. I have so many ideas and absolutely no time for them. Some of these I've already subjected the Boba/Din/Luke server to as drabbles:

The Sentinel (tv show)/Mandalorian AU: Din turns out to be a Sentinel with heightened senses (advanced hearing, sight, taste, smell and touch) and they are triggered when he spends an extended period of time alone (after he drops off Grogu with Luke maybe?) Luke is his Jedi Guide, has zero ideas wtf is going on and only Boba has some clue given that he is the only character who remembers Jedi and their freaky abilities.

Minority Report/SW AU: Anakin, Luke and Leia as the three captive precogs (if you haen't seen the movie they are psychics that can see the future and they are held captive by the government and used for their powers). Din is the Tom Cruise character who busts them out of captivity when the US government steals Grogu from him (because he also shows signs of precog abilities). Co Stars Padme ‘gonna take down the US government to save my family’ Naberrie as a badass.

Star Wars/His Dark Materials crossover. Din with a daemon sounds amazing but I got zero ideas for a plot (I like his daemon being a mudhorn, just this huge brick of a creature that follows him everywhere). This is just pure vibes.

Wandavision mashup: Sequel era Hobo!Luke keeps trying to rewrite the past because he's crazy with grief and drags the poor suffering soul of Din along for the ride. (spoilers: HE DED)

I don't think I'll ever actually write any of this but I really love coming up with scenarios.

I also have an idea for a Din story based on a Star Trek Deep Space Nine episode that I might actually write. For Halloween. If I find the time. ;_;

Fanfic pet peeves

I really value characterization and prefer to read and produce fics where the characters largely stay true to their canon counterparts. It's not always possible to get them exactly alike in a modern AU or crossover (which is probably why I don't read that many). I don't know if that's weird? Oh, and I do think some of the things said in sex scenes are bit overused to the point where if I see certain phrases (or certain noises) I start snickering instead of getting into a story. Sorry. I'm immature sometimes.

Preferred drink

I drink a lot of coffee (drip coffee, with cream and sugar in the morning) or herbal tea (mostly chamomile at night). But I do need to drink something hot when writing. Get me in the right headspace. :D

Wow these were some great questions thank you!!

#I really want to write the minority report fic and the Halloween one the most #I want bad ass Padme but im not sure I know how to write her #My approach to a sex scene is usually less talk more action #mostly because i think most sexy talk is ridiculous #daddy Din is just tired yo #You can try to wreck that Twink but I'm pretty sure he can kill you with his mind #ask game

[mrsalwayswrite]

Say You’ll Stay- Chapter 3

Fury/Band of Brother Crossover Fic

I don’t think I’m going to put warnings for each chapter. I have a broad statement of warnings on the masterlist. If there is something specific that I think might be triggering, I’ll put it on that chapter. Just know there will be swearing, mentions of injuries/blood, battle scenarios frequently. 

Tag List: @happyveday​ @god-of-dramatic-death-scenes​ @alwaysindecemberfeels​

Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don stalked out of the HQ building, cigarette hanging between his lips. They had their orders. Tomorrow they would be heading to the next town to liberate and secure. Captain Evans had put him in charge of the other three tanks and their crews. Two of the other crews he recognized- Davis and Binkowski- having worked with them before. Yet memories of the last team he led and their demise...fuck, he could not think about that. He knew it was not his fault that Tiger got those lucky shots in. 

 His hands still shook slightly at the memory though.  Hearing their screams. He wondered if he would ever be free from the sounds of dying men or if that would haunt him until his own demise. 

 Walking down the snow-laden, muddy streets, his attention switched from the checklist of preparations running through his mind to seeing Boyd crossing the street up ahead. 

 "Boyd!" He shouted, getting his gunner's attention. Boyd stopped and waited for him, thankfully. Fuck if Don was going to jog to catch up. "Where are you off to?"

 Boyd motioned towards the field hospital, with the cigarette in hand. "Promised Anna I'd stop by if we was still here."

 "Alright. Let's go."

 If Boyd wondered why Don was following him, he wisely kept his mouth shut. 

 "Get our orders?" The gunner asked, maneuvering around a seeping pot hole in the ground. 

 "Yeah, heading out tomorrow. Gonna take out a town but start in the reserves. Intel says there are civilians there and they want to minimize damage."

 "We sure these civilians won't shoot us when our backs are turned?"

 "One can only hope."

 They entered the field hospital, both having tossed his spent cigarettes just outside the door. A few men lay on cots but overall, it was surprisingly quiet. A curvy, dark-haired nurse was passing out what looked like bowls of watery soup to the wounded men. A few of the men glanced their way but went back to whatever they had been doing before. From somewhere off to the left, it sounded like someone was constantly hacking up a lung in a different room. 

 Don usually did everything possible to avoid going to field hospitals or aid stations. The air always seemed tainted with blood, death and screaming. Something he had more than enough experience with on his own. There were a few times he should have sought medical care but refused, forcing Boyd to wrap up the bullet graze or the one time he got a small piece of shrapnel in his leg. That one hurt like a sonofabitch. Why he was here now with Boyd, going out of his way to enter a field hospital he had no reason to be in... he could not even justify it to himself. 

 A middle-aged woman in a nurse's uniform walked over to them, coming from a side room. "Y'all injured?" Her shrewd, brown eyes looked over both men with terrifying precision, trying to determine who was the patient. 

 Boyd pulled out his bandaged hand from his jacket pocket. "Came here to see Anna...ah, Nurse Cooper. She wanted to check it yesterday."

 "Mmm… ya that fella that looked out for her last night. Made sure she ate."

 "Yes, ma'am."

 "Thank ya kindly again. That girl gives too much and forgets to take care of herself. I'll get her for ya. Y’all go on now and take a seat towards the back." She gestured towards the few open beds, then turned those shrewd eyes on Don to openly scrutinize him. "Why are ya here?"

 "Moral support. Boyd here is a crybaby and I said I'd hold his hand…" He chuckled as Boyd swatted his arm, muttering something under his breath. 

 She pursed her lips but did not comment. "A'right. Y'all best be on good behavior. Doctor Erickson is in a right mood, I tell ya. I don't want her to get in no trouble because of y’all, ya here?" Without explanation, she turned on her heel and walked away. 

 Don met Boyd's eyes but he only shrugged. He followed his friend to a cot set against the back wall. Don snagged a nearby stool and leaned forward, forearms on his thighs. They sat in silence, neither one feeling the need to fill the air. They had been comrades for three years now and brothers for just as long. Often with a single look they could understand one another. Don was not sure if he believed in God anymore, he had seen too much war and too much death. But if there was a man upstairs, He deserved to be profusely thanked for bringing Boyd into Don's life. 

 "Good morning, Boyd. Good morning, sir." Anna chirped as she came around from a side door, wiping her hands on a cloth. She briefly looked around the floor nearby, hesitated then sat down next to Boyd on the cot. 

 "Mornin', Anna. How are you today?" Boyd asked. 

 "I'm fine. How are you? How does your hand feel?" She asked as she placed his bandaged hand on her leg and began unwrapping it. 

 "Feels a little stiff, don't hurt too much anymore."

 "Good." She poked and ran the lightest touch around the cut on his palm. "Doesn't look like it's infected and it's healing nicely already. I'm going to bandage it back up with some new dressing. Try and keep it clean and dry, change the dressing every day. Do you have your orders?"

 "Yeah, heading out tomorrow."

 "I'll grab some extra dressings for you then. Can one of your crew help you with it?"

 Don cleared his throat. "I'll make sure." 

 She met his eyes for the first time with a small smile before standing back up. "I'll be right back." She disappeared around the corner. 

 "She reminds me a little of my sister." Boyd softly said, gaze having followed her out. 

 Ah, so there it was. Don eyed his gunner but chose not to comment. It made sense now why he was so protective of the young woman. Boyd had always been the most sentimental of their crew. Hopefully that sentimentality would not bite him in the ass later. 

 It did not take long for the red-headed nurse to return, hands holding new wrappings and dressings. Before she could sit down on the cot again, a shout made her jolt, whipping around to face towards the front. 

 "Nurse Cooper!" 

 Don watched a tall, blonde man stride into the room like he owned every inch of the ground he walked on. With his doctor's uniform on, he practically did. The tank commander was unsure what was going on but he had a bad feeling. Unconsciously, he straightened up in his chair, staring hard at the doctor.

 "Come here!" The doctor bellowed, completely ignoring the scene he was causing.

 Anna carefully set the bandage down next to Boyd before slowly walking towards the doctor. He stood in the middle of the room, hands on his hips and a glare to rival the devil's on his stubbled face. When she stood before him, he immediately got in her face. 

 "What the fuck do you think you're doing with my patients! One came in here an hour ago and complained you ignored him! Need I remind you that we are to help everyone with an injury, it does not matter our personal preferences or if you find them attractive. You do your damn job!"

 "Yes, sir. I apologize, I asked Nurse Falk to help him because…"

 A loud smack filled the air. 

 The doctor pulled his hand back from backhanding her to only point a finger at her. "I don't care for your excuses. Do your fucking job or I'll find you some hell hole to work in. Do I make myself clear?"

 Don was up and moving before he realized it. He looped an arm around Anna's waist and pulled her behind him in one fluid motion. He squared off in front of the doctor, meeting him eye to eye. 

 No words were spoken, yet a war waged between them. This doctor wore an air of authority like a badge to wave in other's faces. If he expected the tank commander to back down, he was sorely mistaken. Don had been fighting too long, killed too many men with his own hands to be intimidated by someone who thought when he opened his mouth, everyone around should obey. Don narrowed his eyes, silently begging the man to try something. Give him an excuse to knock the arrogant asshole down a couple notches. 

 Finally, the doctor looked over Don's shoulder, glaring at Anna one more time. "Do your job." He spat out before retreating out of the room and up a set of stairs. 

 Don watched his retreating form for a minute, making sure the man was not going to turn around and continue to publicly berate and abuse Anna. When he could no longer hear the doctor's step, he looked down at the small woman still huddled against him. 

 "You alright, sweetheart?"

 Tilting her head up to meet his eyes, she nodded and licked her lips before answering, voice just above a whisper. "Thank you."

 He could not help it. Oh so carefully, he put his other hand on her chin and turned her head to see the reddened cheek. 

 "I'm fine. It's not that bad." She stepped out of his grasp and looked back towards the front. 

 The middle-aged woman with the shrewd eyes and graying hair watched them, both hands gripping a towel until her knuckles were white. Quietly, she approached and took a look at Anna's cheek. "Finish up with ya patient then get to the kitchen. Make yaself a cup of tea."

 "Yes, ma'am." Anna started back down the rows of cots to Boyd's side, head down, ignoring the looks sent her way by those in the room. 

 Don met the aging nurse's eyes and a silent understanding passed between them. She gave him a brief nod then left. A sigh left his lips before he rejoined Boyd and Anna, returning to his spot on the stool. 

 She worked silently, putting some kind of ointment on Boyd's cut and dressing it. 

 "Anna." Boyd tried to get her attention but she ignored it, working methodically. "Anna, look at me. Come on."

 Finally, she looked up with watery eyes. "He came in this morning."

 "Who did?"

 "That Private from last night…"

 "Shit," Boyd swore, rubbing his other hand over his moustache, "that's who the doctor is yelling at you about?"

 She looked away, gathering up the soiled dressing, then stood. "I need to clean these. I… I wish you both well tomorrow...good luck." 

 Boyd stood, putting a hand on her shoulder. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times as if to say something encouraging but finally settled with, "I'll be praying for you."

 "Thanks. If anything, I'm glad I met you." She looked down at Don, still sitting with his forearms on his knees. "Both of y’all. Thank y’all for everything." With a final small smile, she walked out of view and towards the back room. 

 "Don…"

 The tank commander finally stood, quickly lighting a new cigarette. "I know, Boyd, I know. Come on. Us lingering isn't gonna do her any good."

 They walked out together side by side, clean dressings and bandages in both their pockets. Neither said anything as they walked back to Fury, their separate thoughts on the auburn-haired nurse. 

 When they caught sight of Fury with the others lounging around, Don knew what he had to do. 

 "Fuck it." He muttered then stopped walking. "Bible, start getting Fury ready to leave for tomorrow. Spread the word."

 "Where you going, Don?"

 "There's something I gotta do."

 Before further questions could be asked, he started back the way they had just come. He brusquely pushed past someone standing idly in the doorway of the field hospital. His eyes scanned the large front room and landed on the matronly nurse from before, who was examining a man's shoulder as he gritted his teeth. 

 "Nurse." Don spoke up, stepping closer. When she looked up at him, he continued, "where is she?"

 She seemed to weigh out her answer before jerking her head towards the back. "In the kitchen still. Be quick."

 He brushed past all the cots and the few men filling them, wandering into the back room where a few extra cots were and medical supplies in cabinets. To his right was another door. Without hesitation, he pushed it open and was relieved it was the kitchen. 

 It was a small room and probably had been cozy at one time before the war came and ravaged it. A fire was lit in the hearth, a black kettle hanging just over it. The sound of the water just beginning to boil made the scene feel domestic. A small wooden table was pushed against the wall, three chairs crowding it in. Anna sat on one of the chairs, hair freed from its typical bun and hanging loose down her back. Having heard the door open, she turned and he witnessed her eyes widened as she recognized him. 

 "Sergeant? Is everything alright?" 

 Putting his boot on the chair across the small table from her, he unstrapped the combat knife and sheath strapped to his lower leg, hidden under his trousers. It thudded when he set it on the table, the sound feeling like a gong going off even though it was not nearly that loud. 

 "It's a Mark 3 combat knife. I've had it since North Africa. Hide it somewhere on you that you can reach easily. Don't worry about using it right, just use it however you can to defend yourself. Slash. Stab. Doesn't fucking matter. You wait though until they can't get away. Don't pull it out too soon and someone with skills will knock it out of your hands or just take it from you. Got it?"

 Her sapphire eyes were wide as saucers as she looked at him then the knife, gingerly reaching her hand out to touch it. "Why are you giving me this?"

 "Look, find someone to show you how to use it if you…"

 She reached over and placed a hand on his forearm, effectively silencing him. "I know how to use a knife. My father taught me. I had a knife but Doctor Erickson took it. Said it was not appropriate. This time he won't find it." She looked up, meeting his hardened gaze. "Why did you come back?"

 Don sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know."

 They stared at each other, both seeking answers in the other person's eyes. It was in this moment he truly began to notice things about her; like how there was a ring of gold around the iris in her eyes, how there was a slight dimple in her chin, how her features were soft but underneath it all, was a core as strong as steel. This was how she had survived as long as she did on the front lines of war. His respect for her increased. She looked a dainty, petite little rose but that was only her outward appearance. 

 The door opened behind them and the dark-haired, curvy nurse stuck her head in. "Anna, I'm going to need your assistance."

 "Yes. Yes, I'll be right there."

 The other nurse closed the door, only sparing Don a quick look. With that, whatever intimate moment they conjured shattered into a thousand glass pieces. 

 Don rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what just happened. It did not matter though. In all likelihood he was never going to see her again. "Good luck, Nurse Cooper."

 He turned to head out but she gripped his arm, holding him frozen. In a flash, she stepped closer and rose up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his jawline. Not that she could reach much higher. 

 "Stay safe, Sergeant. " She whispered, before snatching the combat knife off the table and slipping out the door like a dream. 

 His hand drifted on its own accord to rub the spot where her lips touched his skin. 

 He groaned as he realized what he was doing. Silently reprimanding himself, he shoved his hands in his pockets and stormed out, past the cots and fellow soldiers, keeping his eyes forward. He had a job to do. They were in the middle of a war for Christ's sake. He should not be acting like some schoolboy. 

 If the skin that had been graced by her lips felt like a seal on his jawline, no one else needed to know that. 

 *****

 Anna helped Nurse Harris patch up a soldier who had gotten his foot crushed as best as they could. She worried they would have to amputate it but for the moment, it was bandaged as well as possible and he was finally sleeping, the morphine having fully kicked in. 

 She tended to the few other men laying on cots, making sure they all had water, no one was in major pain and they were as comfortable as possible. The last rays of sun peered through the windows, a display of reds, oranges and yellows coating the inside of the field hospital. 

 As she moved about, the strange yet comforting feel of the combat knife strapped to her calf was her companion. And with the feeling of it, her thoughts continuously drifted to the Staff Sergeant who gave it to her. 

 What had she been thinking to kiss him? Even if it was meant innocently and as a thank you. Stupid, so stupid. It was too late now to change it. For all she knew, she would never see him again. He could die in the fight tomorrow and she would never know. 

 The thought of his death sent a sharp stab to her heart.

 Only in her own mind would she easily admit how attractive she found the man to be. When he held her behind him, an arm around her to protect and shield her from Doctor Erickson; his touch had knocked the air out of her lungs more than the slap from the doctor ever could.  

 "Nurse Cooper." 

 Anna looked up as Nurse Falk walked towards her. "Yes, ma'am?"

 "Come with me."

 Nerves came alight with those three words. Whatever this was, it could not be good. Anna set down the clean bandages she had been rolling to store away and followed the matronly nurse towards the back. 

 In the kitchen, Nurse Falk quickly moved to shut the doors, even going so far to draw the curtains over the solitary window. The only light came from the small fire in the fireplace. 

 This could not be good. Was Doctor Erickson sending her away? Oh God, what was she going to do?

 Nurse Falk had never been one for physical touch. So when she came and grabbed Anna's hands, holding them between their bodies, Anna could feel tears gathering in her eyes. 

 This was bad. 

 "Ya know 'bout that mission tomorrow?"

 Anna could only nod. Her throat felt swollen, questions threatening to choke her. 

 "Captain Evans asked for some additional medical support. He's plannin' on settin' up a small aid station there. Says there's civilians and he's worried 'bout extra casualties."

 No.

 "Besides their usual medics, they asked for any spare medics we have…"

 No, please, no. 

 "...but Doctor Erickson gave 'im ya name. Since ya speak both German and French, it would help with them civilians, and ya would be seen as less intimidatin' than a soldier if they be needin' a translator. I'm sorry."

 So, this was Doctor Erickson's final revenge. To this day she still questioned what she had done to cause him to hate her so much. Since the beginning, he treated her like shit on his boot. Now he was offering her up as a sacrificial lamb. 

 "When...when do we leave?"

 "Oh seven hundred. Ya be ridin' in a truck with Medic Hunter...do ya need help packin'?"

 She shook her head, cursing the tears that slipped down her cheeks. 

 "A'right. Go pack and rest while ya can. We'll find ya some new clothes too. I'll come get ya in the mornin'." She squeezed Anna's hands once more before stepping away. 

 In a daze, Anna felt her feet moving but did not remember telling them to. Up the stairs she went to the small bedroom she shared with two other nurses. She sat on her cot, mind numb and lacking the energy to do anything. 

 She was being sent away. To the real front lines. Alone. A single woman alone in a company of soldiers. She knew Medic Hunter; he seemed a good man. She had gotten used to the chaotic, draining life of working in a field hospital. She had been doing it for a year now. At least she was around other women, a few she would even call friends. 

 Tomorrow all that would be gone. 

 Slowly, she curled up on her bed and silently let the tears fall unaided. She was tired. So bone-deep tired of this war. Of seeing young men dead or maimed. Of constantly being dirty with grime and blood. Of remembering what spilled intestines looked like more than her childhood home. 

 She always tried to convince herself that it would get better, tomorrow would be better. It was a habit she had picked up from her mother, trying to always be positive, to see the best in everyone. 

 For the first time, she did not even try to pretend that tomorrow would be better. 

#Fury movie #fury 2014 #fury fanfic #band of brothers #Band of Brothers fandom #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers imagine #Don Collier #Don Wardaddy Collier #don collier x OFC #boyd swan #boyd bible swan #mzwrites

[fruitcoops]

can we get a part 2 to caps panic attack? like an outside perspective (not caps) maybe loops or like a cub or something ?

Y'all thought I was lying when I said I'd have Alarm Bells 2: Electric Boogaloo out soon, didn't you? Please ignore the fact that it's been juuuust under four months since the original fic, and enjoy draft #4! This is the longest I've spent on one fic! SW credit goes, of course, to @lumosinlove <3

TW for mentioned panic attacks

The door closed with a dull thud. Choking silence fell over the entire room before a cold, brittle, furious voice asked, “what the hell was that?”

Arthur swallowed around the dryness of his mouth and shook his head.

“What the hell was that?” Remus repeated. His temper was rare—Arthur had never seen him truly angry, but the tic at the edge of his jaw told a different story.

“I’m sorry,” he managed as he picked his clipboard up off the floor. “To—to all of you, I’m sorry.”

“I respect you a lot, Coach,” Dumo said, cutting Remus off before he could continue. “But that was out of line. Tonight’s game was bad. We all know that, especially Cap. That doesn’t excuse putting the blame on one person or throwing things.”

“You’re right.” He swallowed again and looked around the rest of the locker room; every other player stared at the ground, avoiding his gaze. Bitterness tinged his teeth—he was acting like the coach he had always promised he wouldn’t be. “I’m disappointed in myself for tonight’s game, and I took it out on all of you. Pascal is right, that wasn’t fair. I hope you can accept my apology and forgive me for losing my temper like that.”

“We’re not the ones you need to ask, though, are we?” James said from his stall without sparing him a glance.

Arthur suppressed a wince. He had been so preoccupied with his frustration at himself that he didn’t even notice the growing tension in Sirius’ body, nor the way he began leaning away as Arthur ranted. The same mask of fear, false control, and misery had painted Sirius’ face as when his mother—god, he looked at Arthur like he looked at that horrible woman—came to forcibly trade him to the Snakes. “You all deserve an apology,” he corrected. “But you’re right.”

“Excuse me for a minute,” Remus muttered as he stood and headed toward the door. They watched him go without a word.

“How can I make this up to you?” Arthur asked.

Finn’s shoulders sagged. “Don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.” A door down the hall creaked, and he prayed Sirius wasn’t suffering alone anymore.

“Apologize to Cap,” Dumo said.

“Absolutely.”

“Don’t—” Leo faltered, then pressed his lips together. “Don’t tell us we all share blame as a collective, then make Cap take the weight. That’s a shitty thing to do.”

Arthur’s throat tightened. “It is. I never should have done that to any of you.”

A few beats of quiet passed before Kuny raised his hand; Arthur nodded to him. “Don’t yell when angry, please. Very loud. We already know when you are upset.”

“I’m sorry, Evgeni. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Same as Kuny.”

“Can you give us specifics about what we did, next time?”

“Please don’t throw your clipboard.”

“I’ll stay another hour to go through tape, if that’s what it takes.”

“Try not to interrupt us, please.”

For the next five minutes, Arthur noted down every single suggestion he heard; several were followed by murmurs of agreement. “Anyone else?” he finally asked. The boys shook their heads. “Thank you for telling me. I promise I’ll do better in the future, and—”

The knock on the door was soft, but it echoed throughout the room and sent a bolt of nervousness through Arthur’s heart. Remus poked his head in a second later. “Coach, can we borrow you for a second?”

Arthur set his clipboard down and headed into the hall without hesitation.

Sirius…if he was being honest, Sirius was a wreck. His eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks were pink; a tissue was crumpled into little more than atoms in his fist. Still, he kept his chin up. Arthur hated the idea that Sirius thought he needed to brace himself with faux confidence.

“I’m sorry.”

Sirius’ lower lip wobbled once. “Thank you.”

“You kept them going out there even when they were ready to give up. We didn’t win, but we kept playing because of your leadership. Thank you.” He received a curt nod in response and pointedly ignored the tremor in both of Sirius’ hands. “I took my frustration out on you, which was wrong for many reasons, the least of which being that you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Sirius, I truly am sorry for everything that just happened in there.”

“Apology accepted,” Sirius said. His voice was rough, but steady. “The guys didn’t deserve that, either.”

“I know. I apologized to them as well.”

“Good.” He sniffled once, then held his hand out for Arthur to shake. “In that case, I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

Remus waited by the locker room door with an entirely neutral expression that would have unsettled Arthur if it didn’t melt into something soft and tired when he wrapped an arm around Sirius’ waist. “Ready?” he asked quietly.

The gentle buzz of conversation vanished as they entered again; Arthur sent them on their way with wishes for a good night’s sleep and a promise to talk more in the morning, and they trooped out in a tight group. As soon as the last of them disappeared down the hallway, he sat down in the nearest stall with a heavy sigh.

“That was impressive,” a voice remarked from the door. The bench creaked as Moody sat down next to him with a huff. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“Figured. Cap forgave you?”

“Thankfully.” Arthur rubbed his eyes until he saw spots. “Christ, Alastor, I sent him into a panic attack.”

“Asking what you can do to be better was a good move for all of them. That’ll serve you well in the long run.”

“I’m just grateful Loops didn’t break my kneecaps,” he laughed humorlessly. He stared down at the clipboard and the notes crammed into the margins for a long moment. “How did I fuck up that badly?”

Moody shrugged. “You’re human. You got upset. Don’t do it again. While you were in the hall, they were all saying how you didn’t seem like yourself, so I’d take that as a sign you’re doing something right. Just pay attention next time, and take some deep breaths.”

“You sound like Molly.”

A heavy hand landed on the back of his shoulder and gave him a light shake. “She’s a smart woman. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make sure my candy jar isn’t empty again. You have a team of locusts, Weasley.”

Arthur smiled at his retreating back. “Yeah, but they’re our locusts. You know you love ‘em.”

Moody’s glare was nothing but fond.

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