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#some of these matchups are so old too
hotvintagepoll · 2 months
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hotvintagepoll Hot Men Tournament rundown thoughts
I promised a final recap post and here it is! I'll try to cover the questions I saw the most as we closed out the bracket, reveal my ✨secret faves✨, and talk about the biggest surprises and turnarounds I saw in the brackets.
Yes, this will get silly.
ROUND 1
As I've mentioned before, I worked off submissions for who to include in the bracket, so if your fave was missing—that's why. I used submitted pics when I could, but many submissions didn't have one, so I tried to find decent ones in the couple of days I had to prep the first round (I didn't always succeed). By decent, I mean pics where 1) I could see the hot man's face, so not too much moody lighting, and 2) hopefully conveyed something about his vibe, even if it was a funny thing (yes, I showed Howard Keel in full Shakespeare get-up—I'm not beyond putting up a pic because I think it's funny). I didn't know all of these hotties going in, so some I had to guess with, but when I could I tried to pick shots that had a touch of the humor, class, or genre of the hot man.
For Round 1 and Round 2, I grouped the hotties by each decade, so only '60s actors ran against '60s actors, '50s against '50s, etc. Male beauty standards shifted pretty dramatically over the sixty years this tournament covers, and I didn't think it was fair to pit dramatically different styles of beauty against each other immediately.
I pitted hot men against each other based on opposing energies—hot vs cold, elegant vs rough, comedy vs drama, etc.. I wanted the polls to be interesting and I've never liked brackets where everyone is clearly in different "lanes" until the finals! I also wanted to make polls where I couldn't tell which way they would swing, so by setting matchups that felt opposite but equal, I got to be surprised by the bracket results too.
The only reason we had any three-way matchups is because the amount of men submitted didn't round to a nice bracket number. I don't like them generally and find them really hard to balance.
Secret faves from Round 1—I am a James Coburn girlie and knew he would die immediately, so that was not a shock but a bummer. I similarly knew Robert Preston is only magical to people who have seen him do His Little Dance Routines in That One Iowa Musical, but it would have been nice for him to last longer.
Surprises—Jeremy Brett was a last-minute add and I didn't think he really had a shot, so I put him in as a third wheel on the Sean Connery/Dean Martin matchup. Little did I count on the Granada girlies. (Always count on the Granada girlies.) The Elvis/Peter Falk poll was the first one to gain any momentum—Elvis was winning for the first 24 hours but then, my god, did Peter fight back. I didn't expect the Tab/Toshiro poll to make that bad a mincemeat out of Tab—people have different tastes, and I thought the people who like blonde sunny All American white boys might turn out for The Blonde Sunny All American White Boy. Sorry, Tab. I hope you've peeled yourself off the sidewalk by now. And, of course, I was SHOCKED and APPALLED that James Cagney would be obliterated by, of all people, Mr. Bing Crosby.
SHADOW BRACKET
The fervor of the Harold Lloyd and Fredric March people inspired the shadow bracket, and I couldn't be happier at the way it's gone. You were right, the original photos I had for them did suck. Cunty Harold Lloyd in his little life guard uniform was a revelation.
ROUND 2
For Round 2 I'd gotten a better sense of who was doing well and who was not, so a little of that came into play, but I mostly paired on vibes again. (I genuinely think this is a good way to make a fun, challenging bracket.)
Secret faves—Noooo not hot dilf Dick Van Dyke don't take my hot inventor dilf away uwu!!! (He was up against Marlon Brando. I would have been shocked if he'd won but for a minute there, a glorious second, it was possible.) I am also a big old softie for David Niven's particular brand of repression to the point of volcanic rupture, but he is one of many hotties who does not look good without moving and speaking so I figured he would be going.
So much beef—hey! hey you. I ran a poll asking if we are horny for dancers. Yes, was the resounding poll response. Where, then, did all the fucking dancers go? This round we lost Donald O'Connor, Fred Astaire, Harold Nicholas; Sammy Davis Jr., Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby all sneak into this category as well, by token of having been in the kind of big MGM bang-a-pan-and-put-on-a-show beloved bedlams we all watch at Christmastime. Round 2 voters HATED musical matchups. Except for one.
The one—SOUND OF MUSIC, the voters said, WE LOVE SOUND OF MUSIC. we will KILL the man responsible for salad dressing because of the SOUND OF MUSIC. every other dance man can die but THIS man dances a FOLK DANCE with JULIE ANDREWS in a GARDEN. I did not go into this poll with strong opinions about Christopher Plummer or Paul Newman but my god did I leave having heard all of them.
Surprises—James Edwards/Anthony Perkins matchup was a nail biter! Conrad vs Oscar kept me up at nights. Surprised to see Basil Rathbone survive against Sabu Dastagir—both very fetching, but Sabu had some top-tier propaganda. Cesar Romero put up a surprisingly stiff fight against Cary Grant (an omen for things to come).
Oh horrors—horror heroes surprisingly fell all over the place. I was sure either Bela Lugosi or Turhan Bey would sweep their three-way matchup, but Michael Redgrave of all people carried through; Boris Karloff went down against Johnny Weismuller (while holding hands with fellow fallen hottie Fred Astaire), but at least we got his guacamole recipe before he went. Delighted to see that the Venn diagram of the coalitions who support horror hero Vincent Price and funny lil guy Donald O'Connor is a circle.
Secret faves pt 2—oh yeah, I fucking love Danny Kaye and Donald O'Connor. RIP funny lil kings.
ROUND 3
For some reason this was the hardest one to make matchups for. Oh no, all the men are hot.
Secret faves—Michael Redgrave i love you SO much you're SUCH an idiot, how did you make it as far as round 3. I want you to sweep the whole thing but you should NOT be surviving this. I love you, here's a kiss, go home.
Surprises—Marlon Brando is gone! Errol Flynn is gone! Christopher Plummer exhausted himself beating the organic oreos man to death and goes out with a whimper. Beginning to actually see the roots of #mifunesweep as Tyrone Power, a hot man very different from Burt Lancaster, who was in turn very different from Tab Hunter, also gets swept under the wheels of the unbeatable toshirobus. Conrad Veidt finds that no amount of purring svelte eccentricity compares to the people who will fuck a young Lt. Columbo.
SHADOW BRACKET 2
Cannot believe it but Veidt loses this one too. Perkins sweeps and becomes Prince of the Shadow Realm!
ROUND 4
At this point I've set a formal bracket that I'm following.
Secret faves—this isn't secret anymore, but losing Jimmy Stewart hurt.
Surprises—The Gene Kelly/Jeremy Brett matchup was the diciest one all round, moving back and forth between the two by sometimes .01%. Far more surprising, however, was Cary Grant getting eliminated before the quarterfinals. Grant has never been my type, but he is famous for being THE type, so while the writing had been on the wall the whole tournament—how on earth did Michael Redgrave even get 36% in his matchup?!—seeing Grant go down was a SHOCKER. Other fallen hotties included Gregory Peck, James Dean, Harry Belafonte, and Sessue Hayakawa. Peter Falk finally met his match in Omar Sharif.
QUARTERFINALS
Secret faves—I don't know if it counts as a secret fave, tbh, as my horses in the race really went out with Stewart, but I do have a soft spot here worth mentioning. Here's my childhood dog, Keaton.
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The resemblance is truly striking, and yes, he was short, fast, and not prone to smiling.
Surprises—I couldn't predict how any of these matchups would go down, but I was most interested in Keaton vs Sharif, as they are both SO hot in SUCH different ways.
SEMIFINALS:
This was such a good batch of semifinalist contestants. By this point I think we could all tell Mifune was unstoppable (though I thought Sharif might give him a run for his money), but I really didn't know which way Robeson vs Poitier would flip.
FINALS:
I wanted Sidney Poitier to pull a last-minute sweep out of nowhere, but alas, Toshiro is just THAT GOOD (maybe. I will admit that I find Toshiro's domination a little hard to believe, given the variety and hotness of all his competitors; the man is hot but all these men are hot). I'm still happy with how the tournament went.
FINAL MEDITATIONS:
Biggest shock of a dropout: the loss of Paul Newman
Biggest "you people have no taste": the loss of James Cagney
Biggest victory: Paul Robeson making it to the semifinals over often-assumed champion Gregory Peck
Biggest coalition who deserve justice: dancing men
Biggest ask character: vents anon (currently eating Laurence Olivier)
Biggest, uhh, anything: how many of you are here! I genuinely thought it would be me and 10 other people voting for the whole tournament. I'm thrilled it took off like this!
I think that's everything, but I'm happy to answer addl asks. And THANK YOU to everyone for your tags, rants, impassioned propaganda, beautiful pics, and love for the hot men! See you for the ladies!
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emoboykisser · 5 days
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i would love to be a rich older man’s boyfriend. the idea of it is just soooooo hot! Let’s name him Amos!
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he’s the CEO of some big tech company that’s dominating the industry with every decision he makes, leading him and his investors into an era of huge success and growth.
amos is 35-40 years old, tall, about 6’5 and ruggedly handsome with nicely styled hair, stubble with a small hint of a mustache growing, lean muscle, and some body hair that makes him even more appealing. His personality is cold, calculating, dominant and observant. He’s intimidating, making those who cross him immediately regret it because it will most definitely not end well for them or anyone involved with them. But with the ones he loves, he’s a love bug!
then comes you—his younger boyfriend. getting out of the elevator and walking into his office with a big smile on your face as he gestures for you to sit on his lap.
“How’s my pretty boy?” He asks, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you straddle his lap and blush at the pet name he gave you. He wraps his arms around your waist as you reply. He leans in, asking if you would like to go on a little get away with him; of course you say yes!
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it’s been two days in paradise with you and Amos; swimming in the bluest waters, eating at the most delicious restaurants, relaxing by the pool, spa treatments, zip-lining through the island, and just whatever else the two of you can think of! it’s a much needed vacation for the both of you.
The two of you, swimming in the pool of Amos’ luxury villa. The setting sun reflected on the water as you two play around; splashing each other, seeing who can swim from one side to the pool to the other, seeing who can hold their breath the longest, and other pool games.
Seeing the water fall down Amos’ muscular and well built chest catches your attention. The way it hypnotizes you into staring longer than necessary at his body, but he doesn’t mind; he’s been watching you too. He catches you staring and with a cocky smirk, he lifts your chin up with his finger to meet his gaze. desire floods his eyes as he asks if you’d like to do something else, and you eagerly nod, knowing what he means; he takes your hand and leads you inside the villa.
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skin slapping against skin fills the room as Amos’ fat and lengthy cock thrusts into your tight hole. He has you pressed up against him; your back pressed against his chest with his hand around your throat so you can look at him as he pounds into you and so he can see how good he’s making you feel; it’s definitely an ego boost for him.
his other hand wrapped around your hard-as-a-rock cock, stroking it to matchup with his thrusts. “Such a good boy,” he praises, “takin’ me so well” he grunts. all you can do is moan as he keeps praising you, until you finally release your load all over the bed. he follows soon after with a loud roar that reverberates through the room. his cum fills your hole, some of it dripping into the bed as he gently releases you and begins to kiss your lips.
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fillinforlater · 1 year
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Master['s] Ball[s]
Male Reader x Choi Yena
Length: 2788 words
Tags: a totally normal gaming night, playing games, cute friendship, having fun, helping each other, grinding, sex as a reward, blow job, playing with testicles, balls, balls, balls, Yena really likes sucking you, jerking you off, soft dom, violent orgasm, pajama party gone wild
Inspiration: that Yena pic as well as some crazy ideas/implementation of Pokemon elements (I do not claim them to be right, just go along with it xD)
(A/N: I wanted to keep it at about 1k, but I went wild xD I feel obliged to @usedpidemo and @worldsover but it's for all of you Yena lovers out there!)
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“Ugh, dang it! I can’t beat this guy.”
Yena slams a hand on her blanket and sulks. It has not been her night. Usually, she is bubbly and energetic when the two of you play games together, but today, both her luck and skill seem to have run out. She can’t get past this one difficult enemy, who has a strong matchup against her. 
Peek over her shoulder as she walks across the world to buy items and once again tries to beat her nemesis. She is playing on her 3DS, one of the older Pokemon versions, in her memory the hardest. You have been too occupied with your own handheld device, a gray Gameboy with small scratches and concerning dents, to know how she is doing. 
Yena calls both your console and taste in games ancient and does not understand your obsession with the old, funky sound track and graphics. She will play with you, sure, but she prefers the newer games, the bigger worlds, the mostly easier games to play. No wonder she starts to whine at her first challenge. You giggle.
“Should I help you?” you ask Yena and rub her shoulder to cheer her up. A cute girl in pink pajamas with a pink 3DS and pink fingernails should not get sad over a game, especially if there is someone who could help her. She just has to swallow her pride.
“No, I can do it on my own!” Yena responds and starts up the fight again. At first she is confident, calculated, her attacks connect, but as the battle continues, her Pokemon faint. One by one, her opponent can take them out, always having an answer for what she throws at him. In the end, it’s a devastating defeat and Yena lowers the 3DS, which she had put close to her face, as if it was of any use.
“Ts,” she hisses after a second of awkward silence and turns to look at you. “He is too difficult, I bet you can’t beat him either.”
“Can I at least try?” you ask her with a smile and she hands you the console. You make your own adjustments before the fight and notice some of Yena’s pre-match mistakes. Switch around items and Pokemon, and leave her confused as she watches from the side, scooting her body close to you, almost sitting on you. 
“Do you want to sit in between my legs?” you laugh when she almost falls onto you. It’s not an honest question, just a show of how uncertain you are with her being this close. You’re not children anymore, no kindergarten friends, but adults, who flee from reality ever so often in colorful, exciting worlds. However, Yena’s answer stuns you.
“Yes, that would be so cool! Like when we were kids!”
You sit there and look at her with wide eyes, not moving, brain frozen with a mixture of conflicting emotions. There is thrill, a bit of fear, a droplet of child-like wonder and a sudden rush of… something warm in your chest. Yena suddenly takes matters into her own hands, pushing your legs apart and sitting down in between them, her back resting on your upper body. Your arms naturally fall around her and you have to put your chin on her shoulder to watch the two screens.
“Is this comfortable for you?” she asks kindly, her pink-pajama-covered legs touching your blue-pajama-covered legs.
“Ye-yeah, it’s n-nice,” you stutter and quickly try to focus on the battle ahead. Right from the get go it’s smooth. Watching Yena’s previous attempt, you have memorized the opponents playstyle and the attacks of his Pokemon. With smart play after smart play, you find answers for the things he throws at you.
Yena gasps in awe from time to time, shimming in excitement as you get closer and closer to succeeding. It’s like she is about to burst when you send out the final, winning hit and hear the triumphant music, but she holds herself back and wordlessly takes back her 3DS.
“And?” you ask her with a grin. “I did beat him. You didn’t believe me, but in the end, I’m still the Master at Pokemon.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Yena rolls her eyes and pouts her lips. “Well done, Pokemon Master. I would have beaten him too… eventually…”
“Don’t worry Yena, you’ll get there eventually.”
“Stop being so mean, ts.”
After your short banter, you expected her to get out from her seat in between your legs, but quite the opposite is true. She gets more comfortable, sinking into you like you're a chair and playing totally relaxed. You try to do the same, but after a bit of aimlessly wandering around in your own world of escapism, you turn off the Gameboy and decide to watch Yena play. 
It’s endearing, her adorable laugh at NPC’s textboxes, her attempts to hum the various melodies, her gasp when she finds a new Pokemon in the tall grass. Sadly, most of them run away or accidentally die before she can catch them, but you love the way she never gives up.
“What if I,” she suddenly says and turns to look at you, noses almost touching. 
“Wh-what is it, Yena?”
“What if I finally find a Jigglypuff and can't catch it? That would be really frustrating. They are so rare and easily the coolest Pokemon, but so rare. Can I ask you for help then?”
She looks at you with wide, adorable eyes, like a kitten who meows for food and someone to lovingly scratch her back. You can’t help but blush at her cuteness and pat her head.
“You can just get a Master Ball, you know? It’s not that hard to obtain in this game.”
“What is a Master Ball?”
“Wait, you don’t know the Master Ball? It’s an item which lets you catch every Pokemon on the first try, guaranteed.” 
“Really? That is so cool, please get me one!”
Yena eagerly hands you her pink console and you take charge of the controls once more. As you travel across the land, searching far and wide for the last couple of things to finish your quest for the item Yena so desperately wants. Speaking of Yena, she watches you play in awe, with dreamy eyes and adjusts her posture from time to time, which is not a big deal until—
Her butt reaches your crotch. You feel the softness of her, even through a couple of layers of pajamas you swear you can feel it right on your most private parts. You clear your throat, but Yena is oblivious to your signs and continues to melt her body into you, now even rubbing you. 
Focus back on the game, the task ahead will distract you. You can’t allow yourself to have lewd thoughts over Yena. She is your childhood friend, loyal from then to now and forever. Never would you allow yourself to think in that way about her—well, but her lips can probably do one word starting with ‘S’ very well, except for shouting and singing. 
No, focus. You need to get the Master Ball. If Yena can just get her Jigglypuff, her favorite Pokemon, and also favorite fighter in Smash, she would be all bubbly and her giggles would not only fill her room, but also your heart. With the Master Ball, this is basically guaranteed, so you carefully do your mission.
“Okay, I’m almost there,” you say frantically pushing buttons and Yena sways side to side, grinding herself more and more on your manhood.
“Yes, you can do it!” she shouts and for some reason starts to give quick taps to your cheek. Her smell can only be described as pink with a tiny hint of sweat coming from her pits and hands. During all the time you’ve spent with her you have never noticed this, but now it’s starting to mess with your mind. You don’t even really notice the last couple of inputs and the pop-up on the screen saying—
“You got it! The Master Ball, ya-hoo!”
Yena turns around and lunges at you. In your distracted state even her light, small frame can tackle you onto the mattress. Yena giggles gleefully at your shocked expression and reaches for the console. She saves the progress, then puts away the device just to lay her head onto your heaving chest. 
You feel your breath quicken and the pace of your heart reach a new height. Doesn’t help that her tummy presses right onto your dick and that you can't keep your lustful thoughts from spiraling further out of control.
"Thank you for the help," Yena coos and traces her finger along the side of your body, it tickles a little. "You truly are the Pokemon Master."
"N-no problem," you answer her with an awkward laugh, watching her finger drift further down until she lands right at a forbidden spot.
"Maybe I could help you with something too~?"
Wordlessly, Yena drags down your pajama pants along with your boxers. You feel your heart tighten in your chest and quickly hide your private parts behind timid hands, but shy words of rejection don't come past your lips.
Something about Yena's expression has you stunned, unable to think or move. She looks so happy, a bit giddy but still in control. With trembling, needy eyes she looks up to your face, down to your crotch, up to your face like she is watching an agonizingly slow ping-pong match. 
"I could feel it, you know? Let me help you with it."
She puckers her lips and moves them down to where she just sat. It's now up to you to remove your hands and let her have it or to call it off, tell her she is crazy for just suggesting something like this. You are friends, the type to play games to ignore all the responsibilities of life, from paying taxes and rent to political and family issues. No need to create more issues.
"You don't need to be embarrassed," Yena says with a small smile. "Just returning a favor. I promise it will feel good."
"I-I don't know."
"Trust me."
She puckers her lips. Shouting, singing—sucking, perhaps? Can you really be this bold, let her try it and maybe ruin something this important to you? She never had a boyfriend, so how would she know how to please someone?
"Trust me, okay?"
Yena repeats her words and you are tired of letting the doubts in your head repeat thrmselves. She is already this close to them, you might as well let her have it, and so you remove your hands from your cock and instead hide your flushed head.
"Hm, it looks a little different," Yena whispers as her face turns the same color as yours. "You are not really hard, but still… it looks big."
Somehow, your mouth feels dry. It isn't, you're not thirsty or anything, but for some reason it feels sticky. You barely get a whimper out when Yena sticks out her tongue to touch the tip of your semi-hard cock.
"Can I touch it?" Yena asks, her eyes big in excitement. You nod.
Carefully, Yena grabs the base of your cock and puts it upright. The soft touch of her fingers feels incredible, totally different from your own touch. The foreign hand, it's nice but you soon realize why it's also scary. She has no idea what it feels like to have a penis, so when she pulls up and rubs her hand too roughly over your cockhead, you yelp.
"Ye-Yena, ouch, ca-careful."
"So-sorry. I—oh my~"
Yena's jaw drops when she eyes your balls. Her puckered lips dive onto them and kiss them without hesitation and your knees flail in shock. That's what a mouth feels like on them, oh God.
"Master's Balls."
"What?"
"You know, like the it—"
"I get it, i-it's just so stupid."
The two of you chuckle. You feel tension vibrate out of your body, as if this isn't embarrassing, just a dumb little game you're playing. What could go wrong, really? 
"Sorry," Yena cackles and attacks your sack a bit bolder this time, trying to put it into her mouth whole. You watch her and groan at her tongue licking and grazing and spreading spit over them.
"How could you sa—ah!"
Your question ends in a moan when Yena starts to stroke up and down your shaft, getting it harder in the process.
"How could I what? Get you this hard~?" Yena teases and this time opts for only one of your balls, which easily fits into her eager mouth.
"S-s-say the, that Ma—fuck, Yena!"
Now she is pumping at a speed faster than you usually start with while watching porn. Come to think of it, a lot of the girls you watch porn of look similar to Yena. The cute type, with shapely lips and a bubbly personality. In all honesty, during some of the blowjob scenes, you thought of Yena doing it; but when you now open your eyes, which is hard with the mind-boggling pleasure on your sensitive balls, she is right there, doing it.
It’s better than the fake Yena of your imagination, world’s above than just your hand. The way she goes up and down your joystick, adds saliva to her hand and grips it with perfect tightness again, while suckling gleefully on your left ball, your right one—shit, she can call them whatever she wants, you’d even let her poke your balls. 
“Yena, y-you’re the best,” you moan and pat her head with shaky hands, watching her eyes peek behind your throbbing erection. 
“Hihi, thank you, Pokemon Master,” she giggles and licks up from your balls to your red tip. She guides out droplets of clear precum which has you accidentally trap her body with your knees when you tense up. Yena can take the hit without getting hurt, but the attitude in her scintillating eyes changes from one of playful joy to blissful desire.
“Wh-where did you l-learn this?”
“I was watching certain videos,” Yena lewdly giggles.
A pop and your balls are free. Boy, you can feel how they want to release the cum you didn’t know you had pent up. Yena notices it herself, which she emphasizes by cupping your balls and stopping her strokes but keeping a tight grip on your base.
“You are so full. Don’t get me wrong: I want you to explode in my hands, but first you have to admit it.
“Did you ever think about me doing this?”
Fuck, how does she—
“I—I would n—
“Yes, I did. Yena, I fantasized about your lips qu-quite often.”
“That’s good,” she coos and puts the slightest bit of pressure on your sack, making you hiss and slowly tear up. “Then why didn’t you tell me? We could have had fun for longer.”
“S-sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Be honest with me. Always.”
“O-okay.”
Yena rubs your cock on her cheek. She is so soft, such an adorable girl, but here she also is, going down on you. Past her ducky lips, into her warm mouth, your tip disappears. If she only learned this through watching porn, it’s impressive that she has you this close to an orgasm already. Then again, it’s Yena. Yena, who you notice is much more than just a gaming buddy.
“Th-that feels so good,” you groan. “I-I’m getting close.”
“I knew you’d like my mouth,” Yena says with a smile and suddenly starts to jerk you off rapidly. “But now cum from just my hand. Cum, like you’re watching a video, imagining me, like I’m not even here.”
“B-but, y-you are—fuck, Yena, I want you!”
Yena can’t hear you. She is too enamored with the taste and texture of your balls
which can’t hold their white stuff anymore. A final suck on each one of them and you violently release—Yena violently forces her cum out of you. She does not stop even as the ropes fly into the air and rain down on her head and your pajamas. 
With a harsh thud you crash back on the bed, your cock still wrung out by an eager Yena. It’s like a new kind of firework for her or the first snowfall of winter. Why else would she put out her tongue to catch some of it and get a taste? Wrinkles form on her forehead when she swallows it.
“Hm, pretty salty and… weird.”
“S-sorry,” you barely squeeze out, head spinning, legs twitching.
“Nah it’s fine.”
Yena climbs up to your sweat covered face. She has this huge grin on her face.
“I’ll have a lot of time to get used to the taste, right, Pokemon Master?”
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lizhly-writes · 1 month
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hi. we're back to svsss again. i read Asymptotical's Many an Ill to Cure yesterday. There was this line that sort of caught in my head:
If this bit of lore was true, then Yue Qingyuan was married to Shang Qinghua of all people, and that was about the only matchup he could think of that was possibly worse than pairing Shen Qingqiu with Liu Qingge.
and my brain.... ran with it. not for very long, because i really don't have a GREAT grasp of these characters and also i should absolutely be doing something else. but here you go.
At the ripe old age of twenty-something, Shang Qinghua had successfully lied and cheated his ass off to become the An Ding Head Disciple. It absolutely didn't mean his troubles were over -- it was still An Ding, and An Ding always meant backbreaking work, no matter how high up you climbed, and haha also there was still the entire fucking plot left. But at least he had a really nice house now! At least people had to pretend to respect him! At least the System wouldn't keep that fucking countdown clock in the corner of his eye about how he had X months to make Head Disciple before it nuked his brain into a crisp!
Overall, things were going about as great as could be expected!
Except for, you know, this... this one little thing.
"What???" Shang Qinghua said, when Shizun had first lobbed it at his head.
The Lord of An Ding Peak looked askance at him. Shang Qinghua cleared his throat and tried again. "Begging this one's pardon, but... but could Shizun repeat that?"
"You'll be engaged to Yue Qingyuan," said the An Ding Peak Lord.
Yeah, that's what Shang Qinghua thought Shizun said.
FUCK!
This was his fault. Like, literally everything was his fault, seeing how he was effectively God, but this was a mistake that he didn't have to make! You could argue about the violence and the papapa, but in the end, he was speed-writing a stallion novel for money so he didn't starve.
But the engagement.
Airplane-Shooting-Towards-The-Sky had been trying to explain exactly why so many young, beautiful, cold cultivators were so eager to get with Bing-ge, even if they seemed to hate literally any other person ever. He'd eventually settled on the idea that in PIDW, even cultivators weren't truly respected as adults until they were married. In other words, marriage was a requirement! A spouse was a job position! Of course Bing-ge's wives would sell out for the best possible candidate, even if they were ambitious power-hungry snakes without a romantic bone in their body! Especially if they were ambitious power-hungry snakes without a romantic bone in their body!
In fact, even the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong did it! They were even married to each other! Even the Sect Leader! Haha, it wasn't so weird after all!
God. It would have been fine if he left it without explanation. It wasn't even like he kept the explanation -- no, he wrote it and forgot about it, just like how he did with half of the shit he wrote sleep-deprived and running on caffeine alone. And now he was stuck with this.
"Do you have any objections?" Shizun said, and then Shang Qinghua had to go noooo, of course not, Yue Qingyuan was a mighty and handsome cultivator who topped the unofficial rankings for most eligible bachelor on Cang Qiong for three years straight! How could this lowly Shang Qinghua possibly have any objections?
It was super lucky that Shen Qingqiu was too busy being engaged with Liu Qingge to murder Shang Qinghua for the affront.
Anyway, that was how Shang Qinghua had ended up here -- alone with Yue Qingyuan, sitting across from each other and drinking tea. There was a plate of delicately shaped cakes sitting between them that Shizun had heavily suggested Shang Qinghua should make. You know, to show off his culinary skills to his... his fiance.
“Shang-shidi," Yue Qingyuan said, turning a cake over in one hand. There was some muffled yelling in the background. Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge were clearly having a great time of their own scheduled courtship meeting session.
"Yue-shixiong," Shang Qinghua said. "Hi."
Yue Qingyuan's smile didn't waver. "These are very good," he said politely.
Of course they were good. Shang Qinghua wouldn't have been able to successfully suck up to Shizun if they weren't good. It had taken a lot of practice! And sabotage! Practice AND sabotage!
"Haha, thanks," Shang Qinghua said.
Faintly, an explosion sounded in the background. Yue Qingyuan's brows furrowed slightly. "Shidi," he said. "Could you perhaps open the door?"
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whiskersz · 2 months
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I absolutely love your stuff (sent in a matchup and request already) and was wondering if you could do a Husk x reader who almost immediately after seeing him decides that he's their father now (he isn't) the reader is either in their late teens to early 20's and is pretty chaotic and clingy at the same time with them constantly wanting to be around their "father". Have a wonderful day/night!
Hello and thank you so much for appreciating my works! This request was adorable, I went with HCs because I’m a bit uninspired lately? But maybe I’ll add to it in the future :3
Father Figure! Husk x Reader - Platonic
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♠ Husk never really thought of being a father, much less in literal Hell. During his life on earth he has always been a bit of a free-spirited individual, travelling from left to right, spending his days in bars and his youth performing magic for others. In Hell, his ‘life’ became a bit more stable, spent inside the Hazbin Hotel serving the residents at the bar, but he still didn’t consider himself a good example or somebody in the condition to care for another soul. So, when you came along and decided to see him out of all demons as a father figure, he was pretty surprised.
♠ Especially considering how different your two personalities are, with him being a grumpy and lazy old man and you being a pretty young and clingy individual, he thought that you two would never get along.
♠ On your first day at the Hotel though, you felt pretty out of place, and the moment he saw you struggling he felt pretty bad for you, so he decided to give you some advice to get along with the others out of the goodness of his heart.
♠ From that moment on, you two became inseparable. Now, you always want to be around your ‘father’, and find excuses to hang out with him at the bar even though he doesn’t allow you to drink alcoholic beverages.  He found this a little annoying at first, but with time you and your behaviours grew on him, and he’s always got something non-alcoholic prepared for you on the side!
♠ He also got pretty used to your turbulent personality; if someone questions your behaviour, he'll reply with something along the lines of; "Heh, no need to worry. They're just being themselves."
♠ If you accidentally call him ‘dad’ in front of the others, they will poke fun at you a bit but ultimately think it would be adorable if he was actually your father. Meanwhile he’ll be too stunned to speak; he’ll probably give you a pat on the back and send you on your way, trying not to seem too happy about it, but he’ll be thinking about it all day.
♠ When he went after Angel Dust and came back at the Hotel all beat up, you were very worried for him, and refused to leave his side until all his wounds were completely healed; fortunately the healing process only took a couple hours as they weren’t serious wounds, but you still made him promise to take care of himself and to get into as little fights as possible. He begrudgingly did, giving you a pat on the head.
♠ You also looked out for each other a lot during the Extermination, with him trying to shield you from attacks with his wings and you watching his back while he was occupied fighting against a group of Angels.
♠ He really made sure to let you know how much he appreciates you before the fight, even though he’s not really the type to talk about his feelings. The affection you feel towards him moved him though, so he decided to let his pride aside for once.
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aaron-m-geist-ff · 2 months
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hey hey its your biggest nerd :33 leo, he/him really sorryy if i typed this wrong, i was doing sososososo manyyyy school stuff and im tired asl. have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day to the person behind this acc >_< !!! mwamwamwamw (id really like it if u make toji the highlight of this bc hes my favorite ever since the manga ver got released ITS OK IF YOU DONT NOT FORCING HWHSHGGDADHSD)
Hey hey it’s your second biggest nerd 😂 (you’re number one, apparently!)
Hope you’re taking care of yourself and resting enough alongside your schoolwork ;)
Omggg!! Thank you so much, my day has been great and I hope yours is too! Mwamwa 💅🏻
Your prayers have been answered, Leo! (This is my third Toji matchup but I am not complaining lmao)
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You got…🥁🥁🥁
Toji Fushiguro!
So. As a Leo, you have a unique sense of humor and your laughter lights up the whole room. You tend to get along with all types of different people. You’re a little goofy, always flashing a bright and youthful smile. Definitely the type to scream if you see a spider or get too scared while watching a horror movie.
Toji found you a bit weird at first. He didn’t understand all of your jokes (he’s an old man), but he definitely thought that you were cute and worth talking to. After a while, you took it upon yourself to personally educate him on the culture of your younger generation. Showing him things like tiktok and instagram.
Toji would like you because of how expressive you are. He would probably call you “sunshine” because he sees you as such a light and happy person. Though it would also trigger a primal side of him. Toji would see how dramatic you can be and his mind would start to get dirty thoughts.
…I wonder how loud he would be while I fuck him.
Toji would think to himself quietly while staring at you as you continued to ramble on and on about one of your hyper-fixations. It wouldn’t be long until he would get you into his bed and fuck you into the mattress. If you aren’t normally loud in bed, then Toji would force you to make some noise. He loves the sound of your moans and whimpers as you try to take him inside. It fuels him to fuck you like a man starved.
Toji would also probably ask you to sit on his back while he does push-ups…With one hand. ;)
Read more Toji here
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desiredcaramellatte · 5 months
Note
Can I have dark choco x soft!reader? Just heard the term soft reader and had to try it out.
I think I might’ve had a request similar to this before but uhhh oh well, if I did it was a long while ago. Yippee
I don’t really know which version of Dark Choco wanted to be done here so I just went with the old CoD timeline version before the Dark Cacao stuff
Not really too sure what soft means in this definition here but I just went with really sweet and kind of like energetic maybe idk-
Yay new post. Been a bit hehe, haven’t had much time over my break to write, I’ll probably post some more when school starts up again. ALSO I opened up matchups if anyone wants
Dark Choco x reader
(Who is soft)
Welp, they say opposites attract, you know. On the outside the two of you are completely different- the dark knight being a feirce and brooding presence and you being nothing than, well… soft, really.
Very few people actually know that Dark Choco is an absolute softie inside too. He is very closed off and not expressive in most forms aside from anger, but he does have a very pleasant heart in him.
He likes hand holding. Very subtle hand holding in areas that don’t have a lot of people but may contain some. Otherwise not a big fan of PDA. He will let you lead him around or push him places you want him to go, though.
If you do hug him in public he is likely to get extremely flustered and shut down. He will then promptly avoid everyone who might as so much have been in a fifty foot radius for a while, including you.
Dark Choco will let you snag his cape and use it whenever you want, so long as he’s not about to go into battle. He needs it for his emo boy aesthetic. Even then, a little bit of asking too polietly or begging and he’ll let you keep it just this once-
We all know the last part is an absolute lie ^ you two practically share custody over that thing now.
Refuses to let you touch the Strawberry Jam sword at all. No. Never. That is pretty much the one thing that you can’t win over by begging or owning being cute. It’s completely off limits to you, and for good reasons.
Likely to follow you around everywhere like a big, lost puppy dog. He’s not even too interested in what you’re doing tbh, he just wants to follow and trail after you whenever he can. He likes experiencing your daily life.
Dark Choco just likes hanging out with you and watching all the little things you do. His favorite times are when you two have little picnics or decide to have a camp out. In his eyes, you’re way too good to him.
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chuuyasfanboy · 4 months
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HII!! Could you do one with Dazai, Chuuya and Atsushi reacting to a reader who has one of those SHTWT accounts? It's a kind of strange request, but I've never seen anyone talk about it!!
I actually loved your blog, I'm currently hooked! <3
NOT a weird request at all! I dont have any social medias like this, but I interact with edtwt and have friends with both edtwt's and shtwt's, so I think I'm comfortable enough talking about the issue!
Now this may be very hypocritical of me BUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING MENTALLY PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP! Here's a link to a website with hotline numbers! Even if you cant get yourself to stop completely, please at least be save enough to keep living. Love you all mwah<3
https://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/
Definitely didn't skip a matchup request to write this... Promise I'll get to you soon other person! I've had some ideas in mind heheheh
Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi (Seperate) x shtwt!Reader
Tw: Sh tw, mentions of edtwt in the ooc lol, spoilers dazai totally has a shtwt too</3
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Dazai Osamu
Starting off with the worst reaction
Why is he the worst, you ask?
He has one too!
He totally followed you by accident because he just found this all so inspirational. And then you posted a tweet with the same joke you'd made earlier that day.
And oh he knew.
He's mad, but mostly because you never told him you were struggling.
He's the one who's supposed to be masking his emotions, damn it!
(I'm not sure if shtwt is the same way, but i know edtwt is chock full of motivational disgusting food images posting! I'm making those assumptions that its similar lol)
He definitely tries to convince you to get help, and he feels really bad for not actually being that worried.
He trusts you to keep yourself safe enough and so eventually he just gives up on the notion altogether
It doesnt take long for the two of you to be a bit more open with it all
He finally shows you whats under those bandages
It's worse than you think.
You're the one who convinces him to properly treat his cuts, and after enough bothering, you finally let him treat you the same.
Late nights when the two of you cant sleep, and he comes over.
The both of you in each others arms, disinfectant and fresh rolls of bandages discarded on the nightstand
While he may not be the one you go to for support, he definitely wont judge you for anything, not even a bit
And if you do decide to finally get help, he's there to cheer you on
Dont be fooled though, he wont be changing his ways at all
Good luck getting this stinker to find value in himself!
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Chuuya Nakahara
He's got the best reaction, by far
He's trying not to judge you, really
It's not something he's ever had to struggle with these things, and the furthest he can really give you is an absurd amount of sympathy
The little experience he does have comes from his years with Dazai in the port mafia, but that was a long time ago and he hasnt had to think of it since
It brings up old memories...
You'd left it open on a private tab one night, and he found it when you asked him to look up something
He's about ready to cry, really, but he's strong
For you
He encourages you to get help, professional help
And if you decline, he doesnt push it much further
Instead, he offers you help directly
He cofiscates your razors the best he can, but he soon finds you manage to get them anyway
So he comprimises
When you forget to clean them, he does it for you
Buys you disinfectant and fresh bandages every time he knows youre running low, keeps your first aid stocked
Things like that
He politely asks to not be shown any fresh wounds, twitter post or not, and does his best not to think about the fact you post these things so openly and he hadn't even known
If you do decide to seek help, he's the most supportive.
He keeps you on your recovery plan, holds you close if you relapse, and never passes a single word of judgement your way
He's here for you, always
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Atsushi Nakajima
Akutagawa found it before he did
Atsushi was told, immediately
He PANICS, and as soon as he sees you he pulls you aside
And he just cries into your arms
You're left so confused like?
What????
He understands why you didnt tell him, and he doesnt blame you for it
But he's still pretty upset
Moreso with himself than you
Again, like the other two, you'd been posting pictures of it all online and he had to be told!
He insists you get help, and he wont let up on it
Reminds you every day after a nicely times good morning text
"If you're feeling down make sure you call somebody before you do anything, okay?"
He's practically on his hands and knees begging you to unfollow the shtwt's you've bombarded your feed with
Suddenly he's terrified of looking over your shoulder at your phone, but also so afraid every time he isnt
He's really not good at sorting it out, his brain is scrambled and he's panicked every time he thinks about it
But he really does try hard to stay positive
And while one or two things he says may unintentionally come off as judgement, a good majority of his opinions on the topic is really just trying to get you help
He makes an alt account just to keep tabs on your shtwt
Its really obvious, made a day ago and following only you
You don't tell him that though<3
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Text
Poll analysis part 3
Well I haven't done one of these in a while because I've been focusing on the nicknames and funny tags post But we are definitely due for another one because I've definitely noticed a change and behavior. Plus we've had a lot more and fandoms requested so that might be a contributing factor.
Let's start with the unhinged trio. Think we're due for a lineup change there. It used to be JJK, Black Butler and Dorohedoro. However the latter two only go crazy over a certain character.
Jujutsu Kaisen definitely still deserves its spot There's a reason I picked them to be the first fandom to get a Nicknames and funny tags post in fact they need an update Desperately because you guys are still up to your same old unhinged antics. I've just been busy with other fandoms (one piece) that say even more outrageous crap in the comments
Now One Piece I think you guys took that nickname and funny tag post as a challenge to be as unhinged and creative with your tags as possible because every time I think you all can't possibly get any worse. Someone puts a tag that's even crazier and now I have to update that post with more tags and new characters again.
Now the third spot of the unhinged trio should probably go to Trigun because you guys can't stop talking about Wolfwood's slutty Catholic titties and Vash's snatched little slutty waist. Plus someone has sent a match up request of their weapons no less than three times even though the rules plainly state no weapons so I think we definitely qualify for unhedged trio territory.
My Hero Academia You guys only showed up for the bunny girl and I get it. She's hot. Or to crap on endeavor, that's about it.
Attack on Titan. I finally have found proof of life. The fandom might be in a coma, but at least there's a pulse I thought that fandom was dead but someone or group of people is sending in quite a few requests for that fandom.
And now on to Naruto my problem child fandom. I am not kidding You're the fandom that refuses us to send in photos, but will throw a tantrum if it's not the photo from the correct era of the anime even though I have no clue what you're talking about. Normally when people don't like the photo with any other fandom a dozen better photos of the character will randomly appear in my inbox. Not with the Naruto fandom. I get 10 hate messages saying it's from the wrong era of the anime and I should know that. But does anyone send me a better photo from the correct era of the anime? No. Well actually that's not entirely true the a few times this fandom has sent in replacement photos it's from when in the anime I know the characters are still 14 I've done way too much research into when in canon characters turn 16 and what particular character design/outfit marks that in the timeline for this particular show because of how much I feel like I can't trust this particular fandom as a whole to follow rules. So, remember people I can't read your mind and you are the only fandom that wants to throw a fit over photos like this. Plus the few times I have tried to address the issues with the photos and try to fix the problem you guys want to get combative and very aggressive in the comments. Plus I swear you all are allergic to rules because at least 70% to 80% of requests relating to your fandom have some sort of issue. Whether it's trying to bend the rules or just outright breaking them to massive formatting problems. No other fandom causes me this many headaches. So please for the sake of my sanity do better
Sorry about that. I needed to rant about my problem child fandom maybe now they will start behaving.
When it comes to formatting there is a group of about three people that made requests either everyday or every 2 to 3 days and it was the max amount of request/matchups they could do in a single day according to the rules. They did this the entire time the box was open so they had their formatting down to a science. So basically any fandom that these people requested a lot of had really good track records for formatting and not trying to blatantly break the rules. So One Piece, JoJo's, Attack on Titan and Avatar/Korra all have very good track records right now
But with most fandoms they do a pretty good job of following the rules. No one is as bad as Naruto. Now there are some common issues and major incidents I've had so I'll go ahead and list them below
The common issues are just forgetting to put the name of the show or spelling, but Google can normally figure that out so that's not a major problem or people submitting a character that is video game only and not part of the anime adaptation. Persona, pokémon and Tekken are The worst offenders when it comes to this. Other major issues that come up frequently are with character ages? But it's normally with characters that look like they're adults. So I really don't hold that against people. I'm just guessing that people didn't realize they're actually teenagers but hopefully that will not be as much of a problem but since I dropped the age down to 16.
Now recent issues I've had to address were formatting issues where it was bad enough that I couldn't make it out due to dyslexia. Trigun has tried to submit weapons no less than three times even though that is blatantly against the rules. Like I mentioned earlier Naruto likes to submit photos from when the characters are 12 to 14 that doesn't fit the rules especially when photos are available from the correct age range that do follow the rules. So those are the ones I use no matter how many times they throw temper tantrums. Dungeon Meshi has submitted a 14-year-old and Soul Eater submitted a 13-year-old and said they were 16 in the request. So they lied. Luckily someone told me so I was able to delete those polls quite quickly, but now I can't trust anyone. So if you ever wonder why it takes so long for me to empty out the request box this is why
Oh but good news, no one has submitted a request since I've closed the box I basically consider that a miracle because the last two times there have been people that have not cared that the box is closed. So let's keep it that way please. I don't mind questions, just no requests. The box is closed I still have like 150 more individual messages that have multiple poll requests on them to get through before I open it again
Well that's going to be all for this post again. And I hope at least someone found this entertaining or informative or at least something. There will probably be another one of these in the future
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w1ldthoughts · 8 months
Note
Justin Herbert smut. The chargers are in Dallas playing the Cowboys and he notices one of the dancer he went to college with, he thinks she looks hot. After the game they start talking and he get an hard she notices, she is still in her uniform, she decided to take care of him. Just a thought. Thank you
I love requests so thank you!! Keep ‘em coming!And this one is a little spicy, I hope I made you proud🤭
Warning: smut
Follow-up piece
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America’s Team
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. America’s Sweethearts. You’d seen them perform on tv and even watched a few episodes of the show growing up. It was cutthroat, competition filled job and as soon as you graduated from the University of Oregon, where you cheered for four years, you knew you had to head to Texas to give it a go. Three years later, you were still living the dream, traveling with the team and dancing your heart out on game-days, enjoying the love from the fans before, during and after your performance. There were some days that were hard, some parts of the routine were challenging and the rules were rigid but for the most part east to follow.
Until one particular Sunday.
It was a normal primetime Sunday evening matchup at AT&T Stadium. The lights were bright and the stage was set for the Cowboys to host the Los Angeles Chargers. A battle between two high powered offenses and a welcome home to the Chargers’ new offensive coordinator Kellen Moore.
Your heart was torn because graduating from Oregon, you wanted all Ducks to succeed. And you may or may not have thought about hooking up with Justin Herbert a few times but that was beside the point. The Cowboys were off to a 14-3 lead going into the second quarter and the entire stadium was on its feet. They were quickly silenced by two touchdown drives led by Justin and a two-point conversion going into the half. The Chargers were down 20-18 at halftime and they ended up coming back to win 42-38.
It was standard to stay on the field and wave the guys back into the locker room and then you had your team debrief before tomorrow’s practice. Before you headed back to the cheerleaders’ locker room you spotted him walking in the tunnel.
“Justin?” You called out and he stopped, already out of his uniform. He must’ve just come out of his postgame interview.
“Hey!” He exclaims, “long time no see. You—you look amazing.”
Your face lights up at his shy compliment. “Thank you, haven’t had the chance to change yet. Great game. It was really nice to see you play again.” You open your arms to give him a hug, his tall body flush against yours and you could have sworn you felt the slightest bit of a tent growing in his shorts.
“Um, this is embarrassing.” He chuckles nervously. “I’m gonna walk away now and we can just pretend this didn’t happen.”
This was an opportunity that would probably never arise again and you couldn’t waste it. “Or…we could acknowledge that it’s happening and I could show you a secret place where I could take care of that little ‘situation’ and get you to the team bus on time?”
You knew he wasn’t one to break the rules but you also knew that time was ticking and there was no way that he would ever live it down if his teammates saw him in this state. “Lead the way, but we gotta hurry.”
Working in the building and being there everyday certainly had its perks. You found this secret room deep in the tunnel a few weeks ago and would often use it just to clear your head throughout the week. Or scroll through your phone and maybe catch a quick nap in between dance rehearsals when you were too lazy to drive home. It was an old office that nobody used and you grabbed the quarterback’s hand to lead him in there and firmly locked the door behind him.
Your lips were on his instantly, the anticipation of the moment a bit too much to handle, considering the fact that the two of you had known each other for about seven years. This was almost a decade of longing, secret glances and several dirty thoughts all wrapped into one messy, sloppy make out session. You helped him out of his sweatshirt and left a trail of kisses down his body, until you reached his crotch.
“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.” He whispers out as you palm him through his shorts.
He throws his head back as you reach in to pull his dick out, licking the tip a few times before taking the entire thing into your mouth. You felt his body arch into your touch and a tight moan escaped his lips. Hearing his satisfaction gave you the confidence to suck on it a little harder, humming as you went because you knew that the vibrating sensation would just enhance the experience.
“Good g—that feels so fucking good.” He stutters out, a large hand reaching out to hold your hair back as you gently caressed his shaft.
The more you maneuvered your tongue around it, the closer he was to falling apart. He arched his back and his legs trembled a bit as he released the tension, a warm sensation making its way into your mouth. He pulled his boxers and shorts back on and helped you to your feet, giving you another hungry kiss. Breaking the rules lit a different kind of fire under him.
“If we had more time, I’d take care of you but I really have to get back before they call security or something. I’m so sorry.” His eyes are full of sadness and a part of you wishes you could look at him forever.
“No don’t sweat it,” you reassure him. “That just means that next time it’ll be your turn.”
Justin’s lips curl into a smile, “it’ll be all about you next time, that’s a promise. I gotta go but it was really good to see you.” He chuckles.
“And thank you for um—celebrating the win with me.” He opens the door and gives you one more glance before heading out.
“Any time. I’ll see you around Justin.”
The Cowboys might have lost the game but it was definitely a win for some people in the organization.
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madameminor · 1 year
Text
WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay
Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.
This is long.
Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)
The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.
Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey
Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.
I have spoken.
(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)
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pray4byron · 2 months
Note
Omg I love you Hazbin matchups!! If I could get one I'd be blessed. Pun intended.
About me!
My name is Venus, and I'm a single/teen(18-19) mom. I'm 5'2 and really punky. I've got lots of piercings including an eyebrow, my septum, a nostril, and 00g ears. I plan on getting more and I hope to devour my arms in tattoos. I've been reading since I was 8 as a form of escapism till I left my parents house and got into a safe and healthy environment and now use it just as a hobby. I'm a woman, or fem/leaning enby using mostly she/they pronouns. I am Demisexual and pansexual. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Tourrests syndrome with Echolalia and coperalia. I was diagnosed with depression ages ago but has successfully overcome it and was taken off my antidepressants. I went to 5 middle schools and I've lived in 8-14 diffrent places. I lost count.
Some of my unique traits include
Charisma and people skills (which I don't like people but like- I can't be a menace to society no matter now much I wanna.
Passion for all things animal. I'm in school to be a vet and I also live on a farm and hunt!
I'm a practicing pagan(witchcraft) and I use alot of nature related things
Sometimes I go into a "god complex state" and just think I'm God's greatest gift (narcissistic I know)
I'm piss poor with sarcasm and yet I try to use it constantly and just look like an idiot.
I do Dino arms when I get exited. I also snort when I laugh and my eyebrows flex when I'm talking passionately.
I bought 50 dollars worth of jelly beans not too long ago by accident and I don't even wanna explain how that happened.
Likes
My daughter is the most important thing in my life.
My favorite colour is olive green and forest green. one of my favorite foods is chicken. I drink an absurd amount of peach tea from cracker barrel. (You can buy it by the half gallon) I take a special interest in rocks and collect them. I also love to garden! Art is one of my passions. I make playlists for every mood and I even have a special playlist that I dace to with my 6 month old daughter.
Blue ppl avatar and avatar the last Airbender are litterslly Fandom that have absorbed me. Avatar was one if my big escapism places.
Horse riding, Cow calf care, and goats that break into my car.
My favorite animals are a wolf, lions, longhorns, most well bread dogs/cats, and snakes
I love photography and the mountains!
Dislikes
I'm very much not a people person. I have a hard time tolerating 80% of people and the people I do enjoy my company with took awhile to get used to. It takes persistence. I've also got a bone to pick with people who I relate to to much and tend to veer away from them. Sometimes I stg I have a "I can fix them" complex which I do not like. I've got a fear of needles.
this was a hard call, but in the end, i went with…
Alastor !!
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Alastor admires your charisma and people skills, despite the fact that you hate people, which he gets it, he’s like that too
He can see how much your daughter means to you so as much as he’s not too into kids he will defend her whether he admits it or not and he does try to have a bond with her
Without a doubt, he enjoys the fact that you practice witchcraft, he wouldn’t mind learning a thing or two from you, and he definitely asks you a couple questions here and there
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samepisodebracket · 1 year
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justice for sam
If the spnepisodebracket craze has shown us anything, it's that the supernatural fanbase is extremely divided, with the lowly sam stan seemingly at the bottom of the pile. sam is always last in polls, so this is a bracket for the 10% or so who always votes for him. because yeah, there's 327 episodes of Supernatural, but how many are popular because of a dean or destiel moment? how many good episodes are drowned out because they focus on sam?
i've chosen, with some crowdsourced peer review (special thanks to @spneveryseason, @suncaptor, and @ambersock!) 125 episodes that are Sam Relevant. Some are extremely sam-centric, some just have a shot where sam looks like he's being crucified that gives me brain worms -- i tried to be generous about it to keep a relatively even seasons distribution! matchups will be random and polls will last 24 hours each. in the tradition of @spnepisodebracket (who this is obviously inspired by and would not be possible without!) i'll try to rb a gifset for every episode in the poll!
a final note: no this is not that serious but the criteria for voting here should be how good the episode is as a SAM episode, not as anything else, so please vote accordingly! i am making this for people who actually enjoy sam and if that is not you, then this is not the poll for you!
with that out of the way, here is the compiled list of episodes! voting starts this sammy sunday, 3/26!
Season 1 Pilot (1x01) Bloody Mary (1x05) Home (1x09) Asylum (1x10) Scarecrow (1x11) Nightmare (1x14) Shadow (1x16) Provenance (1x19) Salvation (1x21) Devil's Trap (1x22) Season 2 Simon Said (2x05) Croatoan (2x09) Hunted (2x10) Playthings (2x11) Houses of the Holy (2x13) Born Under a Bad Sign (2x14) Heart (2x17) All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1 (2x21) All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2 (2x22) Season 3 Bad Day at Black Rock (3x03) A Very Supernatural Christmas (3x08) Mystery Spot (3x11) Jus In Bello (3x12) Time is On My Side (3x15) Season 4 Metamorphosis (4x04) It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester (4x07) I Know What You Did Last Summer (4x09) After School Special (4x13) On the Head of a Pin (4x16) It's a Terrible Life (4x17) Jump the Shark (4x19) When the Levee Breaks (4x21) Lucifer Rising (4x22) Season 5 Good God, Y'all! (5x02) Free to be You and Me (5x03) Changing Channels (5x08) Sam, Interrupted (5x11) Swap Meat (5x12) The Song Remains the Same (5x13) My Bloody Valentine (5x14) Dark Side of the Moon (5x16) 99 Problems (5x17) Two Minutes to Midnight (5x21) Swan Song (5x22) Season 6 Exile on Main St. (6x01) You Can't Handle the Truth (6x06) Family Matters (6x07) Clap Your Hands if You Believe (6x09) Caged Heat (6x10) Appointment in Samarra (6x11) Like a Virgin (6x12) Unforgiven (6x13) The French Mistake (6x15) The Man Who Knew Too Much (6x22) Season 7 Meet the New Boss (7x01) Hello, Cruel World (7x02) The Girl Next Door (7x03) Season 7, Time for a Wedding! (7x08) Plucky Pennywhistle's Magic Menagerie (7x14) Repo Man (7x15) Out with the Old (7x16) The Born-Again Identity (7x17) Season 8 We Need to Talk About Kevin (8x01) Hunteri Heroici (8x08) Trial and Error (8x14) Taxi Driver (8x19) Pac-Man Fever (8x20) The Great Escapist (8x21) Clip Show (8x21) Sacrifice (8x23) Season 9 Holy Terror (9x09) Road Trip (9x10) First Born (9x11) The Purge (9x13) Meta Fiction (9x18) Season 10 Black (10x01) Soul Survivor (10x03) Fan Fiction (10x05) Inside Man (10x17) Book of the Damned (10x18) The Werther Project (10x19) The Prisoner (10x22) Brother's Keeper (10x23) Season 11 Form and Void (11x02) Baby (11x04) Just My Imagination (11x08) Oh Brother Where Art Thou (11x09) The Devil in the Details (11x10) Into the Mystic (11x11) Ouroborus (11x14) Red Meat (11x17) Don't Call Me Shurley (11x20) Season 12 Keep Calm and Carry On (12x01) Mamma Mia (12x02) American Nightmare (12x04) Rock Never Dies (12x07) The Raid (12x14) Who We Are (12x22) Season 13 Lost and Found (13x01) Patience (13x03) The Big Empty (13x04) Various & Sundry Villains (13x12) A Most Holy Man (13x15) Funeralia (13x19) Beat the Devil (13x21) Exodus (13x22) Let the Good Times Roll (13x23) Season 14 Stranger in a Strange Land (14x01) Mint Condition (14x04) Nightmare Logic (14x05) Byzantium (14x08) Prophet and Loss (14x12) Lebanon (14x13) Peace of Mind (14x15) Game Night (14x17) Moriah (14x20) Season 15 Back and to the Future (15x01) Atomic Monsters (15x04) The Rupture (15x03) Golden Time (15x06) The Gamblers (15x11) Unity (15x17) Inherit the Earth (15x19) Finale: Carry On (15x20)
Edits: Bugs (1x08) will be added, polls will not be completely random bc im not doing this for science im doing this to see a good episode win and my randomizer pit when the levee breaks against swan song in round 1
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Hello. I hope I am not disturbing you. Can I request matchmaking if requests are still open? It can be romantic or platonic.
(X men/Hobbit/Lotr/Dc/Marvel/Harry Potter/Disney/ I hope it's not too much.) I'm 1.75 tall, chubby, white skinned girl. I am 23 years old. I have curly brown hair that reaches my shoulders and brown eyes. I'm a Gemini. I'm from the Infp.Ravenclaw building. Most of the time I am heterosexual but occasionally I think I am homosexual. I love writing stories, reading, digital drawing, watching movies and listening to music. I am interested in witchcraft, parapsychology, herbs and crystals. I love animals. (Except for those I'm afraid of.) I have an understanding, kind and caring nature. I'm not a brawler. But there are times when my patience runs out. I'm a very loyal person and I can't say no. Sometimes I feel like people don't really understand or don't want to understand me. I'm emotional. I am willing to help everyone,
Hi! You are not disturbing me, don't worry :) Matchups were open when you sent this in! Thank you for requesting one! I hope you like it, I'm so sorry for the long wait <33333
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Romantic
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X-Men -
Logan Howlett:
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🏍 You met Logan when he visited the X-Mansion - having the mutation to speak to all animals, you were instantly intrigued by the man who had the same name as a Wolverine; Logan was also intrigued by you as well, finding you incredibly kind
🏍 After a couple of months, Logan was actually the one to confess to you, whilst the both of you were on a mission together
🏍 For some odd reason, Logan feels immensely calm around you - he liked to joke that it was because of your mutation and his almost animalistic characteristics; it just brings the both of you closer together
🏍 Logan was actually very interested in your interests - he had never met anyone who was interested in witchcraft - he'd often watch and follow as you went out into forests for herbs and go out to shop for crystals
🏍 You both compliment each other perfectly, both being very loyal to those that you care about, and feeling that others don't understand you; overall, you and Logan are a perfect match
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The Hobbit -
Tauriel:
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🍂 You were actually a part of the Company when you first met Tauriel; she actually saved you from a giant spider before she, Legolas, and the other Elven guards captured you
🍂 Despite herself, Tauriel visited you a couple of times during the time of your capture; seeing as you weren't a Dwarf or Hobbit - she wanted to know why you had joined them on their journey
🍂 She actually felt sad that you would have to be locked up away until your stubborn King Thorin said otherwise to Thranduil - she knew that it was not your fault that Dwarves and Elves fought; she was chestfallen when you, the Dwarves, and Hobbit escaped
🍂 She was able to catch up with you, joining you at Bard's home; there you and Tauriel spoke about your interests, there she found out that you were a witch and healer
🍂 After the battle of the five armies - you and Tauriel fighting alongside each other - she convinced you to live in Mirkwood with her, and really, how could you say no?
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Lord Of The Rings -
Faramir:
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⭐ You were actually childhood friends with Faramir - and Boromir but he isn't a man of quality... Anyway, you and Faramir had a very special connection
⭐ You both are very interesting in reading and writing - writing to each other if either were away (doing whatever Faramir/you do)
⭐ Though, when you do find yourselves in each other's presence - which is very often - you spend most of your time sitting comfortably reading together
⭐ When he could, Faramir likes to follow you around and learn more about witchcraft, listening intently as you explained spells, herbs, and so on - in which, later, Faramir gifted you a crystal that you had been wanting - (he really is a man of quality)
⭐ You and Faramir feel very comfortable with each other, feeling seen, and heard - Faramir believes that you are the most beautiful person in all of Middle Earth, your beautiful mind marveling above most - he plans to court you - if you wish to do so - in the future
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DC -
Clark Kent;
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📰 You met Clark when you accidently bumped into him on your way to work, you coffee crashing and drenching yours and Clark's shirt - you were both very apologetic, and Clark offered to buy you a new coffee (cliche, I know); you got his number in the end (win-win)
📰 What was quite funny at the time, you bumped into Clark again! I know, life is crazy... But, you and Clark bumped into each other - thankfully on both of your days off - and the both of you decided to take a walk around a park together
📰 A couple of months later, you and Clark had become a couple - and then... You met Superman - and you instantly knew he was Clark (despite the spell his glasses held) you knew, witchcraffttttt
📰 You knowing, though worrying Clark that you might become a target, (you could take care of yourself); overall, it did bring the two of you closer together - power couple
📰 Clark loves how much you cared for the people you loved/cared about; he loves how much you help others, and he loves how loyal you are - and he loves how interested you are in parapsychology, he finds your interests very... Well, interesting
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Marvel -
Natasha Romanoff:
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🌹 You met Nat when you joined the Avengers - you are quite powerful - having the power to talk to animals and many forms of witchcraft
🌹 She really first started spending time with you after a particularly tough mission between the both of you - she had that 'awe crap, i'm in love moment' when you got shot - though you quickly healed yourself with your craft
🌹 From then on, you and Nat were attached to the hip, spending most of your time together - snacking, baking, reading, training, missions, and even drawing together on rare occasions
🌹 You even had your first kiss at one of Tony's parties, dancing together during a slow song; it was very romantic, the world just fading away around the both of you
🌹 You and Natasha are truly amazing together - amazing fighters, amazing minds, and amazing hearts
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Harry Potter -
Fleur:
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💌 You met Fleur during the tournament, as she walked down the rows of tables in the Great Hall, you were in love; as simple as that (and it wasn't just because she was half Veela)
💌 Fleur had felt quite the same, as she walked down the rows of tables, her eyes met yours, and there was just this amazing connection - a zing if you will - and from then on, you and Fleur met up as much as you could during the tournament
💌 When you could spend time together - though few in between - you would meet up in the library and read together, share your favorite books, and often softly read to each other
💌 After the tournament, you both swapped addresses, so the both of you could keep in touch; when possible, you both met up during the summer
💌 When you both spent time together during the summer, you and Fleur would often take walks, spending time in forests and wildflower fields, often braiding each other's hair; life was peaceful and perfect
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Disney -
Ella:
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🕊 You met Ella at the ball of all places, dressed in your finest attire, you spotted Ella when she was dancing with the Prince; you found her incredibly beautiful and oh-so wished that you could be dancing with her
🕊 After the ball, you had heard that the Prince was having another ball, for he still needed to find a woman to marry - you guessed that he and Ella didn't have the connection everyone thought they had
🕊 The next time you saw Ella, you were in the market, getting herbs, when you ran into her - you felt a instant connection, there was just something about her smile, her eyes, that you - and Ella - felt something between the both of you
🕊 You often met up to talk when shopping in the market, which you both usually just ended up talking more than shopping; you both spoke about your interests, drawing, reading, and so on
🕊 It wasn't until later that you heard about her living situation; it was then your wish to take her out of that environment - you had a plan to help her
🕊 And you did, when the time was right, you asked Ella to move in with you - you had more than enough room, and she said yes; and from then on, the both of you lived happily ever after
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Round 1, Group A: Matchup 3
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Hanse (POSTER BOYYY) vs Hibino Shintarou
Reasons for being generic + Propaganda below
Hanse (written by mod)
Reasons:
basic design (if you remove the things on his outfit lmfao) hes pretty much a struggling idol in canon and hes painfully unpopular in universe too. he has a very straightwforward personality and comparing him to the other characters hes like. generic both appearance and personality. naoto shiraishi doesnt have a unique look either but comparing him to hanse naoto has a much more unique personality and is less of a boyfailure than hanse. i spedran this so forgive me
Propaganda:
this is funny bc i put him here b4 the storytaco situation… but like i still love him. like go boyfailure!
Hibino Shintarou
Reasons:
He has black (dark blue) hair and black (dark blue) eyes :3 Also he’s a Japanese prince in the world he’s in so
Propaganda:
He was once a joyous character full of whimsy who had a good relationship with his brother when he was forced to go study abroad because it would be ‘good for him’. So of course he already didn’t have a greaaaat relationship with his father since he was young. So off he went to Italy, where he was excluded and bullied because he didn’t know the language, plus he was a minority there so yknow. Then some guy named Mr Honda Konichi just conviniently waltzes into his life and becomes his tutor and companion, and they quickly made fast friends (son/father esque friendship). Mr Honda was the only real friend Shintarou ever had in Italy. They talked with each other, played with each other. Mr Honda cared for Shintarou and formed a bond Shintarou would treasure like nothing ever before. Shintarou was happy, so happy. He thought he’d be friends with this kind older man forever. But he thought wrong. Some days before, Shintarou had invited Mr Honda to go to the beach with his family. The young prince was elated and went off, but overheard Mr Honda saying he was going to rob their house because of their wealth. So Mr Honda knocked him out and buried him alive. In a dark, cramped box. Several feet under. With nothing but a hole and a pipe for air. And there he remained, for god knows how many days, until the Italian prince and his aide just so happened to pass by and rescued him. When he got out, he was so scared he couldn’t even go near anyone without going berserk. Then, he remembered he had to go to the beach with Mr Honda on Saturday, and ran, ran to see if Mr Honda was still there. He saw an ambulance, he saw police and EMTs. He saw a stretcher with a bloody hand hanging languid from it. He saw Mr Honda’s bloody, lifeless face, having been just shot to death after he tried to resist arrest. And that’s when he snapped. (but don’t worry mr honda is actually a kinda morally grey guy in the end we find that out later but it’s not relevant rn :() And now he’s scared to touch people or go into dark cramped places on his own and only trusts his robots because he thinks humans are incarnations of evil and there is no such thing as friendship, only mutual relationships where both parties benefit and nothing else. Ah yes, the good old (and still good) classic tragic past full of unresolved trauma which led to who you are today. The incident also hecked up his relationship with Junta, his brother (remember i told you he actually had a good relationship with him before) and they grew distant and hate each other now but not really. Dai Dai Dai Kirai. Ja Nai Ja Nai Ja Nai… He’s also a dick but cares when he is able to He likes omurice and nigiri sushi. Also he’s very smart and super duper good at playing chess and he secretly likes cats
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justgowithitplease · 1 month
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Hiya! I’m here for a DC matchup :))) I love your layout btw, the color palette is so cute!
Name: Corben/Caspian (nicknames: corb/cas)
Age: 18
Hobbies: reading, making bracelets, listening to music, talking about my hyperfixations, painting/coloring
Likes: Chocolate, the color green, vinyls, crime shows, ice cream, Halloween, pie (of any kind), French fries, Dr. Pepper, rainy days, smell of old books
Dislikes: spiders, flying, wet socks, public speaking, large crowds/being around a lot of unfamiliar people, hot weather
I match you with...
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JASON TODD!
Seeing as you both are in college, you two would go down to the library after classes and get caught up on homework together before stopping by Bat Burger for dinner
You both love reading, so expect random books to be found around the house with (a tiny bit of) blood on them
They were robbing a bookstore, what else was he supposed to do?
He loves the bracelets you make them, but doesn't wear them, using the excuse that 'they could get ruined on the job'. They're tucked into his kevlar or anything bulletproof so they don't get hurt
He's one of those people where he doesn't necessarily like to talk a lot, so you talking about your hyper fixations would fill that silence with something he loves: Your voice
100% would take notes on the movies/books/streams. You love it, so he needs to love it too
Y'know those tiktoks where the people paint on the book covers/closed pages ? He would ask you to do that to his favorite books, supplying (stealing) anything you needed
He also loves rainy days + vinyls
I'm imagining one of those movie scenes with some 1900 music playing as you two dance in the kitchen while it rains outside
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