Tumgik
#soheim living room
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Fangirl Manifesto
Just because it’s in my mind why does that make it not real?
What does it matter what's real? I feel this ache in my heart. I know it comes from a love so deep it makes me cry. The lines, ‘ab toh hai tumse hai har khushi apni, Tum pe marna hai zindagi apni’ echo in my heart as the truth. Does it really matter, then, that this love, this pain comes from a relationship that doesn't exist? This pain comes from tales I spin, to tell myself in relation to him who is little more than the glimpse of an idea through smoke & mirrors. I will this pain into inflection - isn’t, then, this pain more exquisite? The joys that my mind seems to manufacture come from the happy notes in this tale of my mind. These joys are felt, truly, despite the knowledge that the person I think about has no knowledge of me. Are these joys fake, then? I’m so consumed with this, with him - who is clueless of me - it feels less of a smitten school-girl daydreaming and more like the death of me, my ego, in love.
I know this world won’t let me go on like this. Only Meera is allowed to have miracles in this kind of samarpan, surrender of self. She’s called a saint & she’s in a temple somewhere far away & in a few books. I suppose, then, it’s acceptable. She’s not a model to be followed, is she? It won’t really be okay if I quit everything else & sit by myself thinking, surrendering, being pained by this love that isn’t. Would it?
That’s a rhetorical question.
This love is. And is a beautiful part of me that makes me magical, wonderful & capable, just like Meera.
42 notes · View notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Today’s tiny joy: Apple
Chotu happy tidbit - I’ve been learning Korean on Duolingo and I’m so so so happy and proud of myself today for forming a whole sentence in Korean without ANY help. I was given the sentence in English and I was able to correctly translate it in Korean without looking at the hints! This is magical to me because like juuuust a couple of months ago I had zero to negligible knowledge of this language. A year ago I just knew that this language exists. Today, I was able to say ‘I am not in Korea’ IN KOREAN. The nerd in me is ECSTATIC & nerding-out about the magic of learning!
(Progress is slow so I like to celebrate moments like this!) It’s so so cool to learn a new language it’s like I can feel the POWER UP. And and and I really hope I’m able to take learning and knowing these languages & make something like a tribute.
And plus plus, being a part of this crazy subcontinent called India makes my heart just... F U L L. T O. T H E. B R I M. Because there are moments when all that I’ve had to learn/I’m learning makes me think of/look for ways of connecting us all with these words because we are - connected! And I feel like crying thinking about something as small and as beautiful as the fact that I now know how to say APPLE in five languages.
4 notes · View notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Bit random but here’s some casual
Rage Against The Machine
Organisations - so called, perhaps to disguise just how much chaos they cause in my worlds - internal & external. A so called company that makes me feel more lonely ever? Why are all their words so fucking contradictory to their experience? If we’re supposed to be making/building things for people, won’t it help to behave like people - make mistakes, have fun, learn & create - so then who came up with this system of pure obedience, of unquestioning loyalty?!
I mean, I know who came up with it - the folks that designed the basis of the modern education system - back when the industrial revolution was beginning and they wanted to fill the factories with human-shaped pegs that would churn until worn out & then be discarded.
But isn’t it fucking time that that change?!
3 notes · View notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Book Log 2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
This is a sentence I just read from this gorgeous book: I formed each letter in Greek with slow, reverential movements, as if my hands were building little ink temples for God to inhabit.
I MEAN?!
When I read a great, beautifully constructed sentence, I marvel with a little envy for not having written it. But this? This is taking me beyond envy because it’s what I’m going to be thinking of each time I write myself. It makes me think I WANT TO BUILD LITTLE INK TEMPLES FOR GOD TO INHABIT.
It’s overwhelming and heartwarming to read something that’s written so beautifully. I’m reading and rereading constantly, excited by the volume of carefully crafted sentences I hold in my hand. If this is not magic, I don’t know what is.
The prayer that’s in this book should be on my wall, on the walls of all the girls to whom our useless patriarchal culture says - not enough.
The chutzpah of this beautiful character is contagious. Thank you, Madame SMK.
3 notes · View notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Pip Pip! Flibbertigibbet! Boop! Kawaii!
After the sorting is finished during Harry's first evening at Hogwarts, Professor Dumbledore delivers a four word speech, "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" Silly as they undoubtedly are, these words cast a spell of fun.
Tumblr media
Much later in the series he says about the magic of words, "Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."
Learning from the very best, I'm trying to conjure up a home for myself, here. A home made of words. And so, fittingly, the welcome mat to this home is my assortment of silly words. Here's hoping it works the same magic!
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Ana, please walk beside me forever.
Book Log 6: Ana, dear dear Ana.
The book is coming to an end. I’ve been dragging my feet on reading it these last few days.
Ana has had so many adventures - she met her true happy ending - she wrote and wrote. Her words - her small temples for god to reside in - sit safely in books! She has suffered of course, and she has grown wiser, kinder, more courageous in time.
This book speaks of women the way they deserve to be spoken about. The way they always should be spoken about - with love and reverence.
A trinity of women helps Ana birth her daughter. And now, as the book comes to an end, as I finally begin to end this glorious song to the feminine, tears float in my eyes.
Jesus has met the end we always knew he will. Ana is watching, walking behind him, reminding him to consider the lillies. I hope I’m able to be like her in the face of life’s jagged cruelties. The women that are walking behind him make me want to cry. I hope I walk with these women too.
Something inexplicable pricks in my eyes and my tears remember. What they remember falls away with them. What remains is love. Love for these women, love for Jesus, love for the woman who wrote this gorgeous book, love for love itself and most most most of all, love for Ana. As the tears fall, a prayer forms inside my heart - which shall have to serve as my incantation bowl for now -
Dear Universe, dear Sophia, dear dear Ana, please walk with me. Create a union in my self that becomes the ship and the compass of my life. Walk with me like friends, like loves, like the read thread that spans through, guides me through the labyrinth of my life. I love you all so much. Keep me alive, keep me learning. Bless the largeness inside me.
I’m crying as I write this. I don’t want to let you go Ana, you’ve been so beautiful. The thought of reading the end of your book is what pushes my tears out. I love you, Ana. Thank you.
2 notes · View notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Sacred!
Book Log 1
I’d just finished reading something & was mulling over a book purchase (correction: a few more book purchases, as one does) when a recently acquired book called out from the shelf. She must have said, “Hey! I’m right here, waiting! Why are you looking for more books?!” in the mysterious language of objects because the next thing I had to do was take her off the shelf and begin.
Tumblr media
The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd.
I’ve only read the first few pages & already I’m moved to tears. This book is talking directly to my soul, it really seems. The story of a female discovering the feminine divine is sacred. And so is this book. That’s partly why I thought of logging along.
2 notes · View notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Warning: Lots of gushing & fawning.
Book log 7 - Finished 'The Book of Longings'.
So it's been some time since I finished reading The Book of Longings & Ana has been in my thoughts since. This book has been amazing, a guide, a friend - not only through ana but the whole story & all the characters. I don't want to nitpick into the critiques of this book (I find the critiquing culture not always healthy) most of all because, this book is brave.
This book encourages me to write.
There must have been a million reasons not to write this book & yet, Sue Monk Kidd wrote it nonetheless. I'm so thankful she did.
Ana & Jesus will forever reside in my heart as two gentle revolutionaries who changed the world for the better. Who lived through love - not just for each other - for god, for learning, for their fellow beings. I know how gushing & fawning & good-two-shoes I might sound to Ana & yet I can't help but gush & fawn.
1 note · View note
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Her Bible
Book log 5 : Struck
Listening to Jesus talk in this book, I am struck. He speaks of love and compassion above all else. Virtues that are yet not seen in the systems that direct the flow of human life. (I’m writing a bit like what I’m reading, it’s known to happen & I’m all the better for it)
The thought that struck me, caused me to stop reading (which is special since nothing seems to stop me from reading this book today) is this:
Here is a brilliant woman who has written about her own personal battles with human definitions of the divine, with religion and where SHE as a woman, as a writer, as an artist, as an explorer & as a human stands with them. Now, she writes a familiar story, one we’ve all heard - about a carpenter who changed the world with acts of kindness.
She writes with her perspective on THE STORY, through the eyes & mind & heart of Ana, the one most like herself, like the rest of us weird girls, like Jo March & Mirabai! Sue Monk Kidd writes a new telling of the bible, one sorely needed in this world. This is a moment that is being celebrated, danced about by my heart, my solar plexus while my mind tries to catch up to the meaning of it.
Thank you, Sue Monk Kidd.
1 note · View note
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
“Tohre dil ka theatre ma, dil deewana booooking advance maaare re!”
- Tashan, 2008
0 notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Book Log 4: The intensity of being a girl.
Something terrible happened to Ana’s friend. Just really horribly terrible. It reminds me of how bad it’s been being a girl through the ages. We’re much better off right now, relative to then and also a long ways to go.
It’s so intense being a girl. And so weird that being ‘girly’ isn’t considered intense but rather trivial! Being of the feminine in body &/or in spirit (no matter your sex) is basically having a concentrated, saturated experience of life.
You feel EVERYTHING including the most intense love for everything ranging from baby animals to fictional characters. You’re raging from exclusion and trivialisation and fetishisation. You’re witness to everyday crimes, chipping away at other humans whose only fault is being the same as you. That creates a storm within that Ana also felt in this book.
And if you’re blessed with the body too, WOMAN, pat yourself on the back - You’re body is constantly changing, no one talks about all the changes. And to top it all off, every month we bleed.
There’s a thing that Ana does with blood (not period blood) that I just loudly whooped about! It felt juuuuust (ever so slightly) as though it was planted. I hope this friend and the elements in her story show up later too. That said, I get the intent of adding this to our main story. It is important.
All of us have felt what Ana feels. I won’t say more. Please go read this book.
0 notes
weirdgirls4eve-r · 3 years
Text
Book log 3
Our heroine met Jesus. And what a gorgeous meet-cute it was. Along with him she also met a longing she’d never had before. One of a different kind of love. Of it she says, “I loved others but not in this way, not with ache and sweetness and flame. Not more than I loved words. Jesus had put his hand to the latch and I was flung open.”
Uffff.
This book is a heroine’s journey and our beautiful heroine, Ana, right now, is akin more to a fangirl than the usual heroine, the superheroine or the Disney princess. It just got me thinking about fangirls (this Ted video about how amazing they (we) are). More fangirl appreciation coming soon.
Beautiful sentences are still abound and beautiful questions too - “How can we know the ways of god?” I’m afraid of finishing this book too quickly. I don’t want to reveal the plot here but let me know if you’d like some description of the story as I read ahead.
Please go buy this book - The Book of Longings - & read the story of a girl not unlike all of us, who want to be free and love and most of all raise their voice.
0 notes