Five things I can see
Four things I can touch
Three things I can hear
Two things I can smell
One thing I can taste
Five things I can see
Four thing I can touch
Three things I can hear
Two things I can smell
One thing I can taste
Five things I should be
Ten things, slipped away
Eight things that I fear
Seven sins I'd never tell
One life that is a waste
Twelve things done to me
Four results as such
Three endings drawing near
Thirty lifetimes spent in hell
One dream I'll always chase
Ninety yearnings to be free
Nothing that amounts to much
A million questions in my ears
Another horror that I've felt
One last decision I could make
Another year on bleeding knees
Another, standing up
Finally allowing tears
Finally accepting help
One gift of my own grace
An overdue apology
First steps without a crutch
Newly earnest, sober cheers
Another "soon, I'm getting well"
With more forgiving my mistakes
Fewer days that I am weak
Still plenty when it's rough
A couple guiltless beers
Still counting time that never tells
One trust in healing without haste
Five things I can see
Four things I can touch
Three things I can hear
Two things I can smell
One thing I can taste
Five things that I can
More things that I can
Free things that I can
New things that I can
One thing that I am
-"Alive," Me H.
“I’ve made many mistakes along the way, but I was, you see, because I did watch them from a close, close view, through the looking glass, I saw them and how they went down. And so there was a part of me that said, “I want to go down with them also”, and another part of me that said, “Isn’t it too bad that Jimi Hendrix isn’t still here? What would he be doing now? Isn’t it really very sad that Janis Joplin is not still here?” You know, I could start naming you other people that I’m very, very sad that are gone, and that I still wish that were here. I wish that Oscar Wilde had lived another 20 years so that he could’ve written another Complete Works of Oscar Wilde, but he was a notorious drug addict. I don’t regret his drug addiction, I regret the fact that he couldn’t have managed to hang in there for another 20 years so that I would have another book of his. And that, I think, is what stuck in my head, was that that’s the sad part, is that there would be no more work from Oscar Wilde, that there would be no more work from Jimi Hendrix, that there would be no more work from Janis Joplin. And that’s what really turned me around to say, “Well, maybe we better be in a little bit more control here”, because I think that I would be very sad if some 25-year-old lady rock and roll singer in 10 years said, “I wish Stevie Nicks had just thought about it a little more careful and been around to maybe do another, you know, Complete Works of Stevie Nicks, so that I would have it.” And that’s kind of what stopped me and made me really look at the world through clear eyes and say, “I don’t want to be one of the ones that slip away and that people are sad about because they’re no longer with us.” So I made a change.” —Stevie Nicks, 1989
My anxiety
stays deep inside of me
when i'm just trying,
trying to stay in my sobriety,
trying to make them proud of me
hopin' they'll see
what addictions done to me,
left me in a corrupt society
clinging onto sobriety,
when recovery has no guarentee
yet i'm trying so hard,
with everything inside of me.
“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life; it comes to us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives, and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”