#so you have the entire gay gay homosexual gay squad

[madaboutmunson]

The Drive-In - Part 4

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 5 | Links to all Parts | AO3 Link

Taglist: @2btheanswertothequestion

The speed at which Eddie moved back in his seat almost rivaled Steve's recoil from earlier.

"Shit, sorry, man. Guess I was just playing up the character" Eddie realizes he's making his voice sound a lot deeper than usual. He looks at Steve, expecting the worst. A slur, a look of disgust, an act of violence, maybe, but nothing happens. Steve simply nods at him and turns back to the movie.

Eddie honestly hadn't even realized he had put his arms around Steve. But he had definitely noticed how Steve's arms had felt around him.

That firm embrace of safety teamed with the verbal destruction of Jason Carver. Damn, if that hadn't made Eddie feel protected as fuck.

Nope. Eddie tells himself. No way. We are not going down this road again. Absolutely not! That was a phase, and that phase was over. Over!

Eddie gathers up his lunchbox quickly and takes down his hair, "So...um...yeah...thanks for saving my ass there, dude. Appreciate it."

Steve is still looking at the movie. Gods, Eddie's insides were in knots. Why wasn't he saying anything?

Eddie continues, "Look, erm, I was just scared of getting my head kicked in, dude, that's all. Here, look." Eddie grabs a small bag of weed out of his lunchbox and throws it at Steve, finally getting Steve to look at him. "On the house. You know, as a thank you," Eddie tries to give him that salesman smile and shrug.

Steve gives Eddie a sobering look of pity before picking up the baggy and tossing it back gently, "You don't need to buy my silence, Munson. I won't tell anyone."

"I wasn't...that's not..." Eddie huffs at his inability to form a sentence.

Steve dips his head to look at Eddie's face. "It's ok. I know...I mean... a few years ago, I met someone who was...you know...um...homosexual, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I promise I won't breathe a word of this to anyone"

Eddie's eyes search Steve's for a moment. Searches for a sign this was some kind of locker room joke between guys or something. But the laugh doesn't appear. He was serious. Steve thought that Eddie was...

Eddie clenches his fists and feels the anger rise in him. "I'm not fucking gay, alright?! I like girls! I was just terrified, alright?!" He gestures violently into the night, "That's why they were chasing me in the first place because I was hitting on a fucking woman, alright?" Eddie looks around frantically, "There...that one there," he points at the girl from earlier. Eddie pokes the glass so hard he's amazed his finger doesn't just go through it.

Steve gives him another pitying look.

Eddie wrinkles his nose in anger. "You know what, Harrington, if anyone in this car is fucking gay, it's you! All those years slapping other guys' asses are probably a major factor in why you didn't even notice how broad my shoulders were when you tried to ram your tongue in my ear!!"

Oh, that was it. Eddie had found it. Steve's eyes flare with annoyance, "Yeah, well, in my defense, you've got long hair, and your shoulders...your shoulders are not as broad as you think they are...could have been shoulder pads, alright?!"

"Shoulder pads?! That's fucking rich coming from the guy who must use more products in his hair than the entire cheer squad!!" Eddie barks back sharply, "Also, it's clearly not having the same effect on the girlies it did in high school. We all saw you flunk out with that group of girls at the food stalls, King Steeeeve! Post-high-school not treating you so well, is it?" Eddie mocks spitefully but almost instantly realizes it's a step too far when he looks at Steve's expression is one of pure hurt as his eyes cast down to the floor.

Why did he always take it too far?

"Get out, Munson," Steve says quietly, without even a hint of anger. Only sadness.

Eddie takes a few breaths to calm down, and his anger is quickly doused by remorse. He wants to apologize, but it might be best to leave. Then he remembers his van won't start. Maybe he could figure it out, now he didn't have to run for his life.

"Look, I'm gonna go. For what it's worth, dude, I'm sorry. What I said...that was too far. I just lost it. I don't like being called that, ok?" Eddie says genuinely, takes a last look at Steve from under his hair, and exits the car.

The walk back to his van is an almost shameful one. He regrets what he said, obviously, that look on Steve's face was stomach plummeting. Eddie didn't even envision any success for himself after high school either, not that he had any while he was in it, but more than anything, he couldn't stop thinking about his Dad.

Eddie remembers him storming into Eddie's room, grabbing him by his t-shirt collar, and lifting him off the floor. His dad's face was bright red with anger, raging at him, spittle flying out of his mouth, droplets occasionally hitting Eddie's face while he accused Eddie of a list of things.

Eddie can still hear that Click-click of the shotgun in his mind now, as clearly as the first time he heard it. His Mama pointing at his Dad.

Then as cool as ice, she'd said, "Put my son down. He didn't know no better. He's gonna go to that there Jesus summer camp, and we'll hear no more of this. Right, Eddie-bear?"

Eddie managed to swallow hard and reply, "Right, Mama. I promise it won't happen again, Dad."

"You're no son of mine," his Dad had seethed as he released him, dropping him to the floor.

His Mom did not rush to help him. She kept the barrels trained on his Dad until he closed the front door behind him.

Eddie physically shakes the memory from himself in a shudder as he opens the hood of his van to assess the damage. It didn't look like anything had been tampered with. Maybe she was just having a moment. He grabs his toolbox from the van, takes off his jackets, and begins the painstaking process of elimination.

He didn't like guys. It was just a phase. You know what? Not even a phase. It was one guy, just one! A few fumblings and kisses here and there, nothing sordid. They were just kids. They didn't know any better.

It was just...how did that counselor put it...an experiment.

When asked, Eddie had answered truthfully. He liked girls, he wanted to marry a girl and have kids, but he liked his friend too. The counselor explained that puberty could complicate your feelings and cloud your vision. The way he explained it to Eddie seemed like it made perfect sense. He was extremely close with his best friend. They had both been too shy to approach girls, but we're curious about things, so they practiced with one another. It was nothing to dwell on, a common mistake. Just forget all about it. Move on. It meant nothing.

That was so long ago, but the words might as well be embossed on Eddie's brain. He gets back to solving the problem at hand, getting this old girl up and running so he can get home.

When Eddie got in the zone, time flew past so quickly. Before he knows it, the movie ends, and soon the cars around him start to peel away. He's only got a few more things he can think of to try. He wipes his grease-covered hands on his jeans and takes out a cigarette for a well-earned break.

Eddie sits on the edge of the engine area, his feet resting on the bumper as he looks up into the night sky. At least it was a warm night. If he had to walk all the way back to the trailer park, at least he wouldn't freeze to death.

He feels his eyes pull down the now sparse line of cars. Steve's car is still here, but it doesn't look like he's in it.

Shit, what if his words had pushed Steve over the edge or something. He should probably go check on him, right?

No, definitely not. That would be a really fucking bad idea. Eddie tries his hardest to look at anything but Steve's car, but his eyes keep getting drawn back there as the guilt weighs down on him.

He rolls his eyes and groans, hopping down from the van and flicking his cigarette butt into the darkness. A quick look around couldn't hurt, and it would put his mind at ease.

As he rounds the corner to clean his hands properly and get his jackets, he nearly accidentally charges full-speed walk into someone and stumbles backward just before impact, raising his hands without looking up. "Shit, sorry. I Didn't see you there".

Eddie half hoped it might be Steve, but he wasn't that lucky.

"Damn right, you didn't! I knew you'd come back for this heap of shit," he hears Jason's voice, but before he can talk his way out of it, Jason's fist comes reeling towards his cheek. The impact sends Eddie crashing into the side of his van head first, making him drop to the floor unconscious.

#eddie munson #eddiemunson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fan fic #eddie munson fanfiction #Steve Harrington #steveharrington #steve harrington fanfic #steddie #steddie fanfic #steddie fan fiction #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #fanfiction #madaboutmunson #madaboutmunsondrivein #the drive-in

[pollyna]

On this queer house (and I'm sorry for the running comments? annnd it got shippy lol):

Class '86:

Wolfman: gay but when the kids start using the moronsexual name he starts to identify with that because he married Hollywood, didn't he?

Hollywood: gay and he would like to say to his husband that he's the moron, not him, get it?

Sundown: bi

Chipper: bi

Slider: bi even if thought he was straight for the longest of times (did know u were that old, Ronnie)

Iceman: gay/homosexual/gay (the day he comes out to Ron he would liked to answer: and during summer the sand is hot. Something other earth breaking truth I should made aware of?)

Goose: queer (he serenades them and leaves them with a broken heart, and then Carole comes around and his brain fries once and for all)

Maverick: the bi king

Cougar: he's probably gay but he's repressed af so he says he's the most heterosexual person on this and other planets (I read too many past!cougar/iceman where he breaks iceman's heart to not be of part)

Merlin: not enough informations on him but after surviving being Mav's backset he will probably reconsider half of his life

Jester & Viper: they're tired dads™️ nothing else is required by them, that's says more than anything else.

People around the '86 class:

Carole: bi

Charlie: bi? (me🤝charlie: questioning her sexuality)

Class '22(?):

Rooster: bi (the tale wants that Bradley realised he was bi while putting milk in his cereal, at the tender age of 13, obtaining to spill milk everywhere and on his uncle Tom's uniform too)

Hangman: gay (the day he did coming out with Javy he presented himself drapped in rainbow flag because he had to make an entrance. He was fifteen and Javy was still asleep. The cuddle a lot after because Javy was still sleeping Seresin.)

Coyote: he's the tired bisexual of the group for the love of god someone should give this man a break

Phoenix: greyro bisexual (she is the dangerous thing Halo sleeps with. Who needs a knife or a gun when she is there)

Bob: aroace (his&Phe queerplatonic relationship is life. Apparently in this language is known as the ay-ay spectrum bc you can't pronounce the a someone should give bob the maracas to play as introduction when they ask him his sexuality)

Halo: aro lesbian (Phe says she kisses her in the softest and more determined way someone has ever kissed her)

Omaha: biromantic asexual (flying as backset with Halo give him time to talk about shit he isn't really comfortable talking with everybody around)

Payback: gay (when he was five he asked his mom if he could fall in love with a plane because they were absolutely the best thing ever. Now he thinks the same everytime he looks at Mickey)

Fanboy: pan (his granma ironed the the flag for his first pride because don't you dare going around with that thing all wrinkled)

Harvard: greysexual homoromantic (his bio on Instagram says, Harvard graduate, medical doctor, Naval aviator, my other half snors)

Yale: gay (he's a big fan of ds9 and most of his photos have a quote of the tvshow expect from when he postes about Harvard, than is poetry. It's nauseating, the entire squad hates and loves it.)

Fritz: raging bi with a little application for older people that everybody in the NAVY knows about (see his crush on Admiral Kazansky)

People around the '22 class:

Cyclone: he's bi but he won't let anyone knows because he's not weak

Hondo: pan (his wife made him a patch that he wears for all June and it has the dagger squad insigna in but it isn't in black and white but in blue, pink and yellow)

Warlock: queer (he says the term fits quiet well with him and honest to God Navy is already hard enough without him having to question his own label. His cat is the most affectionate creature this planet has ever saw and sometimes he takes her to work because it's a good antistress and leaves Cyclone and his problems out of his door)

Penny: bi™️ (she meets Charlie, at someone point along the line, and they have a sort of rebound night because of Maverick but it stops being about Maverick 0.01 second after they kiss.)

#everybody's queer in this house don't fight me #but we can talk about it and discuss them for sure #the 86' class #the 20(22?)' class #the people around them too #lgbtqia+ characters #hope i haven't forgot anyone 🌈 #i'm not going to tag everyone or the shippy part it would take me a lifetime #but i'm going to say this: warlock is the tuvok of tpg:mav #top gun(1986) #top gun: maverick

[waheelawhisperer]

Seeing as you love the nerd jock pairing I'm curious now on who you would pair the doctor with. List all the jocks speedrun? :P

Nerd x Jock any% speedrun let's go

Listed in the rough order I came up with funny things to say about them:

Nearl: Big (Wo)Man on Campus, star quarterback of the football team, also plays basketball, baseball, and soccer and runs track and field. Could get athletic or academic scholarships to any college she wants for any sport or major she chooses. Everyone loves her. Regularly has gay gay homosexual gay sex with the cheerleading squad.

Siege: The football team's lockdown cornerback, has scholarship offers from multiple blueblood programs. Also plays soccer, basketball, baseball, and does track and field. Very popular among her peers. Regularly has gay gay homosexual gay sex with Indra.

Gladiia: Spoken of in hushed whispers within the halls of Rhodes Island High School because she led the football team to four straight state championships and graduated top of her class with full ride engineering scholarships from the best universities in the world. Played multiple sports and broke every record in all of them at both the high school and collegiate level, but declined to go professional in favor of putting her engineering degree to use. The best athlete in Rhodes Island High's history.

Blaze: Nearl's preferred wide receiver and the best player on the basketball team. Has posted a 1000-yard season every year since she was a freshman and the only reason she hasn't broken high school receiving records is because her quarterback has too many targets to spread the ball to. Also plays baseball and volleyball, wrestles, and does track and field. Is the only person to even come close to Gladiia's record in the long jump, high jump, triple jump, or pole vault. Has good grades, mainly because she makes frequent use of the school's tutoring program, but is more likely to go to college on an athletic scholarship than an academic one.

Indra: The team's other cornerback across from Siege. Plays every sport her girlfriend plays and also does wrestling. Also an excellent boxer who could fight professionally if she wanted to. Absolute turbojock. Has regularly shoved nerds in lockers and taken their lunch money. Would be in jail by now if her relationship with her girlfriend didn't keep her on the straight and narrow. Grades are mediocre because she doesn't care for school and knows she's going to college on an athletic scholarship anyway. Will choose her college based entirely on where her girlfriend goes. Regularly has gay gay homosexual gay sex with Siege.

Hoshiguma: The football team's left tackle and best offensive lineman. Also plays center for the basketball team (would be the star player if Blaze didn't exist), is the soccer team's goalkeeper, is a member of the wrestling team, plays volleyball, and has set state records for the throwing events in track and field. Was a delinquent at first and probably would have ended up in jail if Coach Hellagur hadn't convinced her that her natural athletic talent was better used on something more productive than petty crime. Has been a model citizen ever since.

Saria: The best edge rusher on the football team. The only offensive lineman that can stop her is Hoshiguma. Has a killer instinct that lets her put opposing quarterbacks in the dirt, has mastered the art of setting the edge against the run, and also plays center on offense because she's just that athletic and she likes to be bossy and call the shots for the offensive line. One of the center backs for the soccer team, plays basketball, and has a promising boxing/MMA career ahead of her after college. School valedictorian, has full ride offers from top-notch schools for both athletics and academics. Like Nearl, has slept with most of the cheerleading squad. Unlike Nearl, did not stay to cuddle afterward.

Sideroca: One of the strength and conditioning coaches for the school's athletic programs. Is so good at her job that she's somehow managed to get Rhodes Island's mysterious vice principal, known only as "The Doctor", into the weight room a couple times a week.

Bagpipe: The football team's 1000-yard rusher. Her Vouivre strength and speed make her hard to bring down. Will bowl right through opposing linebackers. Plays soccer, does the throwing events in track and field, and is a member of the wrestling team. Also, inexplicably, a cheerleader. Used to work on her family farm before her parents sent her off to live with Horn so she could get a better education and is a bit of a hick as a result. Is extremely sweet to everyone and does not have a single enemy on campus. Even the worst, most stereotypical cliquey high school girls adore her.

Skadi: Absolute ultramegajock. Plays on both sides of the ball as a running back and linebacker. Where Bagpipe is faster and more agile, Skadi just bulls through even the opposing defensive line and will run straight into a nose tackle without a care in the world. Give her the ball on 3rd/4th and short and she will move the chains. Posts only slightly fewer sacks than Saria. Can lift the most on the team despite not being a lineman. Also plays baseball, volleyball, and basketball and wrestles. One of the stars of the swim team. Banned from participating in track and field after she tried to do the shot put, launched the ball into the stratosphere, and nearly killed someone when it fell to earth on the other side of town. Grades are crap not because she's stupid but because she's constantly thinking about her next sportsball game. Gladiia constantly calls her to tell her to take her education more seriously.

Specter: Another ultramegajock. Likes to bully the nerds. Gladiia and Ulpian frequently get called in for parent-teacher conferences after she and Skadi engage in shenanigans. Plays strong safety for the football team and is also the third string running back, because having two living bulldozers wasn't enough and they needed a third. Member of the swim team, the basketball team, the baseball team, and the wrestling team. Grades are better than Skadi's because she at least isn't spacing out all the time, but she still spends a lot of time in detention for getting into fights.

Gavial: Extreme jock. One of the jockiest jocks to ever jock. Plays weakside linebacker for the football team because she likes hitting people. Also wrestles, swims, and plays baseball and basketball. The soccer team keeps trying to get her to join, but she refuses to play because she thinks any sport where you don't get to paste your opponent is for pussies. Hobbies include rock climbing and martial arts. Frequently trains and spars with the other jocks.

Whislash: Played soccer, volleyball, and tennis and ran track in high school and college and would have had a promising pro career if a nasty injury hadn't ended it three years into college. Switched to modeling for a while, somehow made absurd amounts of money in the stock market, and now trains Nearl and Blemishine and teaches at Rhodes Island High because she's bored and needs something to do. Is the volleyball coach and is good enough at her job that the administration overlooks her frequent, not-entirely-workplace-appropriate advances on the Doctor.

Dobermann: The school's hardass soccer coach. Will make you run until you puke and then call you a pussy afterward, but is really good at determining precisely how far she can push her players before it stops being productive. Also coaches wide receivers for the football team and helps with strength and conditioning. Played soccer, football, and basketball in high school and college before joining the Marines and doing two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Her brand of tough love is one of the few things that keeps the school's troublemakers in line.

Hellagur: Head coach of the basketball team. Played in the NBA and thus has the attention of all his students. Generally very kind and understanding, if a bit mischievous. Is the type of coach who treats his players like his own children and chose his career because he wanted to provide a positive example to young people in need of one.

Texas: Plays soccer (wing) and tennis and is a cheerleader. Generally fairly quiet, but is known as someone you don't want to mess with. Has a lot of admirers among the student body, many of whom are female. Going to college on a soccer scholarship.

Lappland: Delinquent who spends a lot of time around Texas. Also hangs out with Indra and Specter and bullies nerds. Plays soccer (the other wing) and wrestles. Joined the cheerleading squad to get close to Texas and ended up enjoying it more than she thought she would.

Pallas: Alcoholic wrestling coach who's had a few too many concussions in her time. Extremely strange, but there's some very useful advice hidden in the weirdness if you can parse through it. Also played football in high school and college and spent several years in the NFL before the aforementioned concussions caught up with her.

Ch'en: Captain of the soccer team. Also plays tennis and volleyball and is a member of the swim team. Has excellent grades (is the class salutatorian) and multiple scholarship offers from top universities for both athletics and academics. Had almost as many people asking her to prom as Nearl, despite her standoffish personality.

Schwarz: Middle linebacker for the football team and the one who calls the shots on defense. Puts the fear of God in opposing quarterbacks and is third on the team in sacks after Saria and Skadi. Also plays basketball, soccer, volleyball, and tennis and wrestles. Is part of the MMA group and is arguably the best of them. Has solid, but not exceptional, grades and sometimes gets in trouble for fighting. Very pretty, but very hard to approach. Ceylon somehow convinced her to join the cheerleading squad, but she's not really that into it. Very good at it, though.

Beehunter: Member of the wrestling team. Boxes on the side. Does not play any other sports, but typically hangs out with the jocks regardless.

Gravel: Plays football, basketball, baseball, and soccer. Lacks the exceptional athletic talent of some of her classmates, but is the type of person everyone wants on the team because she will give 110% in every practice and leave everything out on the field. Has a crush on the vice principal and will gush about them at every opportunity.

Platinum: Cheerleader, does not play sports at the high school level but intends to participate in archery and the rifle team in college and has been offered scholarships for both. Frequently squabbles with Gravel over who loves the vice principle more. Does not get along with Nearl or her younger sister.

Matoimaru: Plays soccer and has been offered scholarships for it. Is generally very friendly and popular and an excellent athlete, but her grades are poor and she worries about her ability to keep up with the work in college. Would play more sports, but soccer is her passion.

Wild Mane: Plays soccer and volleyball and runs track. Her grades aren't great and she has a problem with staying out of trouble on occasion, but she's received offers of athletic scholarships and is determined to use them to get herself a mechanical engineering degree.

Flamebringer: Plays football, basketball, and baseball and intends to fence at the college level. Highly competitive and not a great team player, but has a great deal of natural talent. His teammates and coaches grudgingly tolerate his attitude and the way he slacks off in practice because they know he'll give 120% in actual games, even if he has to be benched frequently as a reminder that he's not the only player on the team.

Akafuyu: Combination jock and video game nerd. Plays soccer and volleyball and is on the wrestling team, but her true passion is fencing and she hopes to do it at the collegiate level.

Zima: Free safety for the football team, keeps trying to switch to linebacker so she can hit people more. Is the member of the soccer team most likely to get red carded. Also wrestles and does track and field. Frequently gets in trouble for fighting and bullying the nerds.

Mountain: Plays nose tackle and right guard for the football team (eats both blocks and blockers like nobody's business) and is also a member of the basketball team. Plays baseball and wrestles. Has excellent grades and multiple athletic and academic scholarship offers to quality universities. Enjoys boxing in his free time and frequently clashes with some of the other jocks when they pick on the nerds.

Swire: Not actually a jock, but she is the captain of the cheerleading squad. Is a prizewinning equestrian and plays tennis. Ch'en and Hoshiguma keep trying to get her to join the soccer team. She refuses on the grounds that she feels it isn't sufficiently refined, but she's always there to watch Ch'en and Hoshiguma play their "barbaric" sports regardless. Actually joined the cheerleading squad initially so she could have an excuse to cheer them on.

Blemishine: Not as athletic as her sister, but she plays soccer and tennis and runs track and field and is competent at all of them. Joined the cheerleading squad so she could support Margaret. Is only a freshman, but is already taking advanced classes and is working hard to get accepted into top-tier engineering programs.

Liskarm: Plays soccer and wrestles. Is quite good at both. Often found with Franka.

Franka: Cheerleader. Rarely found apart from Liskarm.

Exusiai: Cheerleader, plays soccer and volleyball. Is the life of the party and very popular, but also frequently in trouble. Intends to join the rifle team in college.

Shining: Plays soccer, tennis, and volleyball and is also a cheerleader. Generally quiet and academically successful, but you don't want to make her mad. One of Nearl's biggest fans.

Nightingale: Tried going out for sports so she could hang out with Nearl and Shining and then nearly keeled over during warmups. Tried cheerleading instead out of fear for her own safety and almost hurt herself again, so now she just sits in the stand waving big handcrafted banners to cheer her (girl)friends on.

Mudrock: Plays right tackle for the football team and also wrestles. Known to be very odd, but her teammates generally like her because she works hard, does her job well, and doesn't cause trouble. A few people tried to pick on her for talking to rocks and promptly got suplexed into a mud pit.

Tomimi: Cheerleader and member of the swim and wrestling teams. Joined every team Gavial did to be closer to her, but is struggling to crack the starting lineups. She's a solid sub, though.

Eunectes: The other starting defensive end for the football team. Forms a solid 1-2 punch with Gavial. Also plays basketball and wrestles. Has engineering scholarships on lock.

Cuora: Loves baseball, is very good at it. Not the greatest student, but she can sure as hell knock the ball out of the park.

Meteor: Teaches Home Economics and coaches track. Friend of the Nearl family. Notorious among her students for being bad at technology.

Rosa: Cheerleader, plays tennis. Frequently found at equestrian events alongside Swire and SilverAsh.

Horn: Left guard for the football team, also plays basketball, tennis, and soccer. Bagpipe is currently living with her for access to better education.

Fang: Freshman who is quickly establishing herself as an asset to both the soccer team and the track and field squad. Dobermann is begrudgingly fond of her.

Talulah: Ch'en's estranged sister, left with her father when their parents separated. Spends too much time in the company of her creepy Uncle Kashchey and attends the Rich Rival Private School on the other side of the city. Plays the same sports Ch'en does, and their clashes on the field are legendary.

SilverAsh: Attends the Rich Rival Private School on the other side of the city. Is Swire's rival in the equestrian events and also fences and plays tennis. Met the Doctor once by chance at a sporting event and has been madly in love ever since.

Degenbrecher: Sportsball coach at the Rich Rival Private School on the other side of the city. All her students have a crush on her. Every single player she's coached has developed a femdom fetish. Had a multi-sport career in college and won multiple Super Bowls with the Kawalerielki Knights. Also did some modeling on the side. Has a burning rivalry with all of Rhodes Island High's sportsball coaches.

Sorry, this was originally meant to be a ship list, but my Writer Neurons started firing for the first time in forever and turned it into a full-blown high school AU, so I apologize for that. I don't ship the Doctor with every character on this list, but I think a good number of them are cute, funny, or otherwise workable.

#arknights #ask game #not tagging all of them #there's too damn many #high school au

[ufonaut]

"and yes, i said straight even in the case of hq & ivy because there's no universe in which they actually read as gay/bi and i'll always stand by that. they exist the way they do because bruce timm, jimmy palmiotti and whoever else followed in their long line of writers thought some chick on chick action was sexy. that's no representation."

Tell me that you've never actually read the majority of Harley and Ivy comic or the things that've led to their romantic relationship developing the way it has without telling me. I'm sorry, but you sound genuinely stupid. There's definitely an argument about the Bruce Timm, Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti writing and the way they frame moments. But Bruce Timm drew them more than he wrote them, he didn't have a direct hand in a lot of those plots in terms of the actual content, and Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti are just in general awful writers for Harley Quinn. The idea you could consume anything including Harley and Ivy and Not See how utterly gay they are is ridiculous. It goes back to comics like Batgirl Adventures and Gotham City Sirens literally confirmed Ivy's romantic feelings in a part that wasn't written by any of those folks.

Are we supposed to just pretend that DC is notorious for not allowing LGBT focused plots, cause, like, yeah, a lot had to be subtle or it wasn't going to be allowed past the viewing stage. Not even heroic characters like Batwoman were allowed those sorts of primary plots for a Long Time.

"i said straight even in the case of hq & ivy because there's no universe in which they actually read as gay/bi and i'll always stand by that." You should read more. Cause this is just sad. Especially in times when comics like their current ongoings exist, where they are explicitly sapphic and into women.

i love how the vast majority of your argument is that it was dini not timm that wrote harley & ivy and how could i forget the other dude instrumental in finding chick on chick action sexy? look, i don't know if you're a follower or some random freak who found my untagged post but i do have to laugh at the idea that i wouldn't know that homosexuality was frowned upon in media for 'a long time'. yeah, gee, no kidding. not like 80% of this blog is comic history or anything.

okay, look, as far as i'm concerned harley & ivy are as gay as lesbian porn is. is there technically a gay couple involved? yeah, i suppose. is it made entirely for male consumption and cannot be counted as representation by any means? yes, absolutely.

believe it or not, i've read a lot more of both of them than i would've ever liked because harley's presence in comics is completely inescapable and once upon a time i was a batman enthusiast. see, 'explicitly sapphic and into women' doesn't do it for me and i wouldn't trust anybody who unironically uses the term sapphic to begin with lmao but the way fandom treats ivy as some sort of lesbian icon despite her long history with men (her whole entire shtick is controlling men by kissing them, the hq cartoon even has her as pretty clearly bisexual) is ridiculous and so's the fact that the two of them have become the single most famous & visible same-sex couple in comics.

(gotham knights 2000 #14)

(harley and ivy 2004 #1)

(2016 interview with dini, palmiotti, and glass -- screenwriter for the suicide squad movie. 'damaged yet strong females'? 'girlfriends without the jealousy of monogamy'? really?)

(dc pride 2021. 'relationships can be instruments of oppression'? 'sweetie 4 ever'? on god?)

(harley quinn 30th anniversary special 2022 #1)

honest to god this is as good as it gets? these is a random smattering of examples from memory but you think this honest to god the pinnacle of representation right here?

when i call harley & ivy effectively straight women written for the enjoyment of the writer/artist or male audiences i'm not doubting the validity of their fictional feelings for each other, i'm doubting the intentions behind the way they're presented. there's a reason they're the most popular lgbt characters in comics, there's a reason what's effectively an open relationship that can be discarded at any time is so widely preferred to any other alternative and that's not even counting the way harley quinn & poison ivy as separate characters are and have been sexualized like there's no tomorrow. i'm sorry, man, but you're the one sounding stupid to me.

#asks #anon

[romulussy]

tell us more abt roman in military school 👀

i have one answer to this that’s like useless little hcs i’ve accumulated after reading anecdotal stories from people who went to military schools — shit like me thinking roman joined a rifle squad & is a surprisingly good shot, or that military school is where roman starts his career as a repressed homosexual, cause like, it’s gay, but it’s not gay gay, or that he knows how to do laundry and make a bed and mop a floor cause everyone had to do clean-up duty on a roster, or that it’s where he developed an eating disorder, or that one of the main reasons he hates st. andrews is because the rigid schedule means he’s spent his entire adult life utterly incapable of sleeping past 8am, like. don’t they realise they’ve ruined his whole hedonist boy prince thing? — and then another answer that’s me chewing glass thinking about military school horror stories & how roman would’ve been lonely & how it was most likely a place where the roy name meant very little. like it’s a unique experience the other kids didn’t get where roman gets to live as a kid in a collective rather than Logan Roy’s Son(TM), and he most likely wasn’t well-liked in that collective. i mean, one of the things that kept popping up in the anecdotes i read was the way students were used against each other to maintain obedience; like, one kid fucks up, the whole class is punished. i can imagine that being the case, only i don’t think roman would care about how his actions impact anyone else, so it doesn’t stop him from acting out, you know?

what i mean is like. your brother’s off at college and your sister’s a little bitch and your parents are divorcing and your dad sends you to military school. you don’t ask to go. your father tells everyone you did. he tells you it’ll toughen you up but you know what that really means. it means you’re being sent away because there’s something wrong with you. it means you’re being sent away to be fixed. 

you’re miserable before you even get there, or you think you are, but it’s so much worse than you imagined. they shave your head when you arrive and give you a uniform that looks like it’s been stripped from a fucking cartoon character and they treat you like shit. your name doesn’t exempt you from the hazing; you’re roman fucking roy and you’re above all this bullshit but no one else seems to know, or care, or want to. you’re expected to fall in line. you’re expected to act like all the other fucking normos. you’re expected to know how to. it’s meant to fix whatever’s wrong with you.

none of the other boys like you. they don’t even pretend to, not unless they think they can get something from you. none of the staff like you, either. the teachers fucking hate you. you never learn your lesson. you refuse to learn your lesson. there’s no fucking lesson to be learnt. you’re not a team player. you’re a troublemaker. you’re a clown. you’re a moron. you’re small and you’re weak and you’re sick and you’re broken and you’ll never amount to anything. but you don’t flinch when you’re screamed at. you smile when you’re hit. you’ve had worse from better people (you’ve had worse from people you love). you’re not going to cry so some state school reject can jerk it to his power fantasy. you’re roman fucking roy and you’re above all this bullshit. only you’re not. and you’re miserable. and your family’s miles away. and you’re lonely. you didn’t think you’d be so fucking lonely. and you still don’t know what’s wrong with you.

#it’s 6am & I have covid & it’s kicking me ass so if u see mistakes then no u did not <3 #roman #i have more thoughts it’s just hard to string them together rn #roman roy #* #ask #complicated airflow

[woman-loving]

The Emergence of a Lesbian Bar Scene in 1960s Sydney

Selection from Unnamed Desires: A Sydney Lesbian History, Rebecca Jennings, 2015.

In addition to these social groups, lesbians were also beginning to join a much longer-standing gay male bar culture in significant numbers, reflecting a broader social acceptance of women and public drinking in the wake of reforms to the licensing laws in the late 1950s. Male narrators recall seeing lesbians on the commercial scene for the first time in the early 1960s, and lesbian narrators begin to discuss their participation in the bar scene from the 1960s onwards.[28] Lesbians socialised alongside homosexual men and drag queens in venues such as Chez Ivy wine bar in Bondi Junction and the Purple Onion coffee shop on Anzac Parade. Virginia, who first visited Chez Ivy and the Purple Onion in the early 1960s, went out on the scene in a group of male and female camp friends and remembers that: ‘It was very mixed. I hardly went anywhere where it was just for women. I think the women’s thing came later, yeah, the segregation side of it.’ She spent these nights out drinking gin and tonic, talking to her friends and dancing the twist, as well as enjoying the drag shows that were put on at the Purple Onion and Les Girls.[29] When Carolyn began to frequent Chez Ivy in the late 1960s she also remembered the clientele as very diverse:

“Chez Ivy’s was home to guys, girls, drag, bi, crossdressers and straights--I felt comfortable in this group and I would look forward to hitting ‘the Club’ each night and weekend ... The cat fights and tantrums were ongoing--this added to the fun of the night and drama. We had parents looking for sons and daughters, bomb threats, vice squad raids, scuffles with ex-lovers--but it was fun!"[30]

Chez Ivy closed at 10pm, but many revellers continue their night out at coffee shops such as Doddy’s on Darlinghurst Road and the Coffee Pot in Kings Cross, or at cabaret clubs such as Les Girls or the Purple Onion.

This picture of the 1960s as a period of transition from a predominantly male to a mixed camp scene is supported by accounts which suggest that lesbians, as newcomers, were not always entirely welcome at Sydney’s camp venues in this period. One reason for this attitude may have been the behaviour and image projected by some bar lesbians: a number of interviewees recall Sydney’s bar lesbians as being quite ‘tough’ or ‘rough’ in this period, in contrast to the more flamboyant drag culture cultivated by camp men. Lesbians were widely regarded as being prone to fighting and causing difficulty in bars with their behaviour. [...]

Although the majority of venues were mixed in the 1960s, lesbians increasingly made up most of the clientele at a few bars: the Trolley Car near Sydney University, the Sussex Hotel on Sussex Street in the City and the Park Inn opposite Centennial Park. Dennis worked at the Trolley Car, owned by Dawn O’Donnell, when it opened in 1966 and recalled the venue as a ‘long, old terraced house’ with a licensed bar downstairs until 10pm and an upstairs room which continued to operate illicitly after official closing time. The venue was popular with lesbians[...]. A significant lesbian clientele also mixed with drag queens at the Park Inn in this period. Karen went to the Park Inn in the late 1960s and recalled that ‘The majority that went there were women.’[35] Laurie, who had gone there for the first time in the 1960s with her girlfriend Helena and two new friends, also remembered:

“I walked in there and it was like seventh heaven. It was full of lesbians from wall to carpet to wall you know? And drag queens. I saw my first drag show there and that was it for me ... We went there every Friday night to Saturday night for the next ten, fifteen years I think?’”[36]

A number of the women who socialised in these venues adopted masculine dress codes and identities. Laurie recalled that all the lesbians at the Park Inn were ‘butch and femme. Three piece suits, cufflinks, ties, the whole bit.’ Laurie herself was introduced to this butch/femme scene by some lesbian friends, who took her clothes shopping in the men’s department of Grace Bros and then to get her hair cut into a ‘short back and sides’ before escorting her to the bar. Her girlfriend, Helene, retained her feminine dress and appearance, as she was adopting a femme identity. Margaret also described the masculine appearance of the other women clientele when she first discovered a camp venue in the 1960s. [...]

For some women, adopting a butch appearance meant potentially passing as a man. Colette recalled experiencing some confusion on her first encounter with a butch lesbian in the early 1960s:

“In 1964/65 I said to my sister, ‘We have to find some lesbians’ ... the only gay place at that time was a place called the ‘Hole in the Wall’, literally a brick circle had been made in the wall ... it was dark inside. It was in Kings Cross in the vicinity of St Vincent’s hospital. It was fully of very interesting people and after about an hour I noticed this very attractive blond boy, there was just something about him, and he obviously noticed me because he came over and spoke and her turned out to be a woman in fully drag so this was terribly exciting for me ... she looked like a  boy but she was a girl, this was exactly what I was looking for. So we went home together and it was off with the frock for me and she unstrapped and stripped down to a t-shirt.”[38]

Colette’s reference to the girl unstrapping suggests that some butch lesbians in this period were binding their breasts in order to adopt a more masculine physique, in addition to wearing male clothes.[39] Some of the lesbians who frequented Ivy Richter’s venues in the 1960s were similarly capable of passing as young men. Ivy recalled one occasion on which gender ambiguity led to an altercation between one of her lesbian clients and a member of the licensing police. [...]

The extent to which femme women were a part of the Sydney scene in this period is more difficult to determine. While a small number of accounts refer to butch/femme partnerships and communities, many focus primarily on butch lesbians, suggesting that butch identities predominated. It is also possible that many femme partners of butch lesbians occupied a more transient position in the lesbian social circles of this period and were therefore less visible. Davis and Kennedy noted that, in the butch/femme community they documents in 1940s and 1950s Buffalo, ‘many fems ... became butch, others went straight, and others claimed to be too shy to be interviewed.’[41] A similar picture emerges in Sydney. In her account of a casual encounter with a butch lesbian at the Hole in the Wall in Kings Cross in the 1960s, Colette describes herself as removing her ‘frock’, suggesting that her own appearance was more feminine than that of her butch partner. Colette herself was a newcomer to the bar on this occasion and implied that she was not part of any coherent lesbian community at the time. Accounts of the Park Inn hotel in this period also suggest that the predominantly butch lesbian clientele mixed with other women as well as drag queens. Laurie, who had gone there for the first time in the 1960s, recalled that women of all classes mixed there and ‘there was one table that was reserved permanently for when the prostitutes came in, from Kings Cross, and they were all gay.’[42] The hotel owner, Ken (Kandy) Johnson, claimed that nurses made up a significant group amongst the more butch regulars and remembered one occasion on which he had received a call from the local hospital, attempting to locate one of their nurses, who was needed to assist on an operation. [...] Kandy’s account of this exchange suggests that camp women who identified as butch--wearing men’s suits and short hair--may have interacted with more feminine prostitutes in his bar. Whether or not some of the prostitutes had sexual relationships with women, Kandy’s account suggests that others may not have immediately identified them as camp, defining them instead primarily as ‘prostitutes’. How the women themselves defined their sexual identity, if at all, is even more elusive, in the absence of accounts by femme participants in this scene.

The possibility that femme identities may not have been clearly identified as lesbian identity model is also suggested by Elizabeth’s account of roles in her suburban social circle. Unlike the majority of women socialising in private friendship networks in the mid-century, who describe their roles and appearance as conforming to mainstream ideals of respectable femininity, Elizabeth recalled her private house party scene in the late 1960s as organised around a restrictive form of gender role-playing. [...] Despite her partner’s expectation that she adopt a feminine appearance, however, Elizabeth does not appear to have developed a clearly defined femme identity. Explaining the relationship between their respective roles, Elizabeth was unsure of the term for a feminine partner, commenting:

“You were a butch lesbian or you were a, whatever, I don’t know what you call it, but anyway, you were one or the other and that’s how it worked and I thought that makes sense.”[45]

Elizabeth’s ambivalence toward her femme identity was also apparently reflected by those around her, as she recalled attracting criticism of her appearance from a woman at a party. The woman commented that Elizabeth shouldn’t ‘think you can fool us wearing that dress’, suggesting that she regarded the adoption of a feminine appearance as an attempt to hide a lesbian identity. This account suggests that feminine lesbians may have been viewed with distrust in some Sydney lesbian circles, and perhaps not regarded as having an important or valued role in that community.

Other accounts, however, suggest that both butch and femme identities were consciously adopted by some women as an indication of membership in a lesbian community. Laurie had been introduced to the butch/femme scene when she moved from Perth to Sydney in the 1960s and she she and her girlfriend Helene adopted butch and femme identities respectively. [...] After introducing them to butch/femme fashion, June and her girlfriend Karen took Laurie and Helen to their local bar and the new arrivals soon became regulars. Descriptions such as Laurie’s are reminiscent of postwar butch/femme lesbians in the US and UK, where the commercial bar scene fostered a highly nuanced subculture based around butch/femme role-playing, and new entrants to the community were expected to adopt either a butch or femme style and behaviour. This was often a highly conscious process in which new members chose an identity and experienced a rite of passage in which they adapted their image to fit the new identity. For Laurie, the decision to become a butch was taken by her new butch friend, June, on the basis that Laurie was a better pool player than Helene. [...]

Personal narrative such as Laurie’s suggest that, while a number of lesbian identity models in the 1960s were characterised by an emphasis on secrecy and discretion, others, such as butch/femme, were highly visible and confrontational. Butch/femme lesbians, like Laurie and Helen, forged their identities in social spaces which they shared with prostitutes, gay men and drag queens and as a result they understood their lesbianism within a broad, cross-gendered community of sexual minorities. Similarly, the shared nature of the camp social scene in the 1960s, meant that many more discreet lesbians in this period also defined their identity alongside gay men, in terms of a shared attempt to evade detection by mainstream society.

However, despite the presence of consciously butch women on the commercial lesbian scene in the 1960s, butch/femme did not represent a pervasive subculture in the Sydney camp bar scene in the manner described by historians of US lesbian subcultures. Oral history accounts suggest instead that butch lesbians coexisted with women of more conventional appearance, often sharing the same social spaces. This reflects the situation in Melbourne in the same period, where Lucy Chesser has found that:

“while there were sizeable lesbian social groups which organised around role playing in Melbourne in this period alternative models of lesbian relationship were often avialable to women from working class backgrounds ... In addition, butch/femme role playing appears to have deceased in importance as the 1960s progressed.”[48]

In Sydney, other lesbians who socialised both within and outside of the bar scene in the 1960s do not recall the early scene as a butch/femme culture and did not themselves adopt either a butch or femme identity. Virginia did not recall a butch/femme scene at Chez Ivy and the Purple Onion in the early 1960s, although she conceded that ‘some of them probably were pretty butch’, while Carolyn described Chez Ivy’s lesbian clientele as a relatively diverse culture group.[49] The fluidity of lesbian dress and identity on the commercial camp scene in Sydney in the 1960s reflects the predominance of small, private networks in the preceding decades and indicates the absence of a long-standing and developed subculture in the bars of this period.

Moreover, the ways in which women made use of the new pubic spaces becoming available to them continued to be shaped by private networks and patterns of socialising. Both the bar scene and the camp social groups in the 1960s were relatively secretive and enclosed, making it difficult for outsiders or the authorities to identify them. In the absence of any homosexual press, bars and clubs did not advertise and only a few individuals were lucky enough to stumble across them by accident. The mainstream press could occasionally give a hint but most women were introduced to the camp scene by friends from elsewhere.[50] Virginia first visited camp bars with friends from a North Shore ballroom dancing club she belonged to, and Karen began socialising with lesbians she met at a hockey club in the late 1960s. Carolyn and her girlfriend were first introduced to Chez Ivy by a lesbian couple they met by chance on holiday in the Central Coast.[51] The enclosed nature of the scene in this period also lent a secretive atmosphere to socialising, which some women remembered as exciting. [...] Lucy Chesser argues that the sense of belonging to a secretive lesbian subculture in this period played an important role in affirming women’s lesbian identities and giving women a sense of pride in escaping detection.[53]

Friendship circles continued to be important, not only introducing women to venues, but in the ways in which individual lesbians made use of the spaces available to them. Unlike the pattern of socialising in London’s lesbian venues in the 1960s, where each bar or club possessed it own community of regular clientele with specific behavioural codes and identities, venues seem to have played a less important role in shaping identity on the Sydney scene. Women moved more freely from one venue to another, but as groups rather than individuals. [...] In this sense, the commercial camp scene which emerged for lesbians in the 1960s reflected earlier patterns of socialising in the city. Women continued to structure their social networks around small, private circles of friends and simply extended the location of their social activities as new spaces became available to them. Sydney’s lesbian socialising in the 1960s was defined by one’s circle of friends, rather than a regular haunt, and as a result women moved easily between the social spaces available to them.

#lgbtq #lgbtq history #lesbian history #bisexual history #butch femme #australia #australian lgbtq history #sydney

[bosspigeon]

sunshine on a rainy day

Pairing: M!Detective/Mason Word Count: 3669 Summary: Unit Bravo helps Juni with rooting through the sodden mess of his bedroom, and Mason tries to figure out just what the hell is going on with the detective.

I have no excuses or explanations for this. It’s just self-indulgent corny nonsense.*shakes Mason like an Etch-a-Sketch until he can acknowledge his goddamned feelings*

Please check out this cover of “My Girl” by Kele Okereke that inspired this whole thing, because it makes it gay and it brings my little homosexual heart so much joy~

Mild CW for references to sex/m*sturbation

Things are still… weird, with Juni.

Of course, he’s pretending they aren’t, and he’d be very convincing if it were anyone but Mason he’s trying to convince.

His smiles are too brittle, too tense, and they don’t make his nose scrunch up like they should. His laughs are too-sharp and high-pitched, strained with effort, and he hasn’t snorted once. He radiates tension the second Mason looks his way, hides behind his hair like he’s afraid to look him in the eye. When Mason first met the detective, he thought he was soft. Too soft. The sort Mason would chew up and spit out if he cared enough to bother, but then he dug a little deeper, hit a nerve or two, and found that shiny spine. He found that, when pushed, Juni had bite.

He may have gotten a bit addicted to the bite, and now that it’s gone, he feels completely off-kilter. Juni still responds when he flirts, of course, blushing and fumbling like always, but it feels… different, somehow. And it has since the bakery.

He apologized, and he thought that would make it better, but it hasn’t, and now he’s caught between frustration and what might be... guilt?

Clearly, he’s hurt Juni somehow, and he’s not sure how to fix it.

Why do you need to fix it? Why do you care?

He shakes it off. They’ve got more important things to worry about right now. He’s got to keep his head in the game.

“I’m sorry,” Juni says miserably, again, and Mason wants to shake him. What part of this is his fault?

“It’s not your fault,” Nate says kindly, before Mason can get snippy and make Juni withdraw into himself even further. “You can’t be blamed for bad luck.”

Juni snorts, grabbing his arm. “If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all,” he recites, like it’s something he’s said before. He’s wearing a t-shirt that says “I Just Hope Both Teams Have Fun” and it’s a bit odd to see his arms without the cover of his usual sweatshirt. He keeps rubbing at his inner arm and the bird inked there. A self-soothing gesture, as if he’s not used to exposing so much skin. His nails are bitten all to hell, too. A mess of tells, this man.

“That’s the spirit!” Felix says cheerily, punching the air. The look Juni gives him is dry as a desert, and Mason feels a twist of something hot and acidic in his gut he can’t name. He wants to chuck Felix in a dumpster at least once a day, but the urge hits him like a truck out of the blue, and he can’t pinpoint the reason.

Fuck, he’d kill for a smoke.

“I’m still sorry,” Juni says again, squeezing his forearm. “For, y’know, the whole squad needing to babysit me for this.”

“It’s no trouble at all!” Nate exclaims, as if the very thought that Juniper believes their helping him sort through his soggy belongings to see what can be salvaged to be a chore is somehow an insult. “We’re happy to help.”

Juni gives Nate a soft-eyed smile that lights up his whole face, and that acid feeling burns more.

“You cannot be left unaccompanied,” Adam says stiffly, eyeing the horizon as if the Annunaki will swoop down on them in a parking lot in broad daylight. “It is best that we move as a unit when able, to ensure your safety.”

Juni ducks his head, still smiling. “Thank you guys,” he mumbles, and then he almost keels over when Felix slings his arm around his shoulder to shake him. Mason stifles a growl, and while Felix doesn’t notice, Adam and Nate both glance back at him with twin unreadable expressions he meets with the blandest look he can manage.

“I, for one, am looking forward to snooping through your place some more,” Felix snickers. Juni pushes him off.

For the most part, the flat is still in one piece, most of the damage contained to the bedroom, though the floor in the hallway is a bit waterlogged as well. Nate tuts in disappointment as the warped boards creak pathetically underfoot, no doubt mourning the fancy pattern to the antique wood. Mason can smell the water damage, mold and rot that no doubt caused the collapse in the first place, and the choking reek of plaster dust.

Juni sighs as he pushes open his bedroom door. The mess is even worse than Mason thought it would be, from what Juni told him. The bathtub that apparently crashed through his ceiling is gone, but the gaping hole remains, still shedding debris onto the ruined bed. The heavy antique bed frame itself is cracked clean in half, the mattress sagging in the middle, and Mason's chest squeezes.

Juni was right there seconds before an entire fucking bathtub came down on top of it. He could have been crushed.

He jolts when he feels fingers on his wrist, and when he looks down, Juni isn't looking directly at him, but towards him. "You can wait outside, if you want?" he suggests softly while Nate goes trotting into the room to cluck and fuss over Juni's bookshelf. "I know it smells kind of gross in here." His nose wrinkles a bit, and Mason hears the thick clicking of his throat as he swallows uncomfortably. No doubt, the smell’s not doing him any favors either, hyper senses or no.

"Did you bring a mask or something?" Mason asks rather than replying, gesturing to the plaster dust settled all over everything, floating in the air now that they've disturbed it. "Your lungs are already shitty enough."

Juni flushes a pretty, rosy pink and fumbles hastily for his bag with a little blurt of, "Oh, yeah!" He puts it on, and Mason wants to groan. Of course it's got a stupid little cat mouth on it.

"Juni," Nate calls, his voice heavy with sadness. He's holding a book in his hands as carefully as if it were an injured bird. "You have a collector’s edition of The Velveteen Rabbit?"

"Had," Juni corrects, his eyes crinkling with a sardonic little smile Mason can't see, but knows the shape of intimately enough to picture. “It had reproductions of the original lithograph illustrations too.” He gives Mason a quick sidelong look before pattering over to take the book from Nate and sadly try to peel apart the pages.

Felix sidles up to Mason with about as much subtlety as a bathtub through the ceiling while Nate assures Juni they can salvage the book, and likely a good amount of the others, if they are very careful. The younger vampire gives him a startlingly critical look that he tries to hide under his usual smirk. "You guys are ridiculous," he scoffs. Mason snaps out a hand to cuff him, but Felix dodges and rabbit-punches him lightly in the ribs. It’s surprising enough from someone as ambivalent to fighting as Felix is that Mason doesn’t even think to dodge, and when he glowers at him, Felix glowers right back.

It’s not terribly impressive on him, but points for trying.

“Be nice to him,” Felix hisses, and this time Mason is ready enough to swat his hand away before he can get jabbed again.

“I’m plenty nice to him,” he drawls, affecting an easy smirk.

Felix studies him for a long moment, then looks him dead in the eye, smiles glibly, and says, “You’re so pretty.” He reaches out like he’s going to pat Mason’s cheek, but he dodges and stalks away to help Adam move some of Juni’s heavier furniture that might still be salvageable. Felix makes a beeline for the bathroom, probably to rifle through Juni’s medicine cabinet or something.

Juni leaves Nate to meticulously pick through his bookshelf and slip blotting paper (which he made sure to bring the second Juni voiced his doubts the small collection of books in his room would be salvageable) between the pages and setting them aside to pack up and take back to the warehouse, where he has the supplies to take care of them. He starts bagging up clothes, while Adam and Mason prop his mattress against the wall to get it out of the way. He’ll have to get a new one for sure. Just being close to the damn thing makes Mason want to retch with the smell of the mildew. Juni drifts by to start bundling up his bedding, and his knuckles skim against Mason’s lower back.

A shudder rolls up his spine, and he settles as his senses calm down enough for him to actually assist Adam. The mattress isn’t heavy for them by any means, but it’s bulky enough to be a pain for just one of them to carry.

Juni is setting to work boxing up all his little trinkets and knickknacks (and he’s got a lot of them) when Felix comes barrelling out of his bathroom with something purple held victoriously above his head.

“Hey, Juni!” he yells, and all of them, even Juni,  wince at the volume. “What’s this?”

Once he’s stopped, and is no longer a brightly colored blur in the vague shape of a vampire, Mason can actually see what he’s holding aloft like a trophy. Once he realizes what it is, he can’t help but smirk. Before he even looks at Juni, he can feel the heat radiating off him, his blood rushing, his heart rate spiking.

Even if Mason didn’t know what a goddamned magic wand was, Juni’s reaction would be a dead giveaway.

Faster than Mason has ever seen the detective move, he bolts across the room and snatches the thing out of Felix’s hand, hiding it behind his back. “Where did you find that?” he yelps, his voice pitching high and cracking.

“Your closet,” Felix says brightly, his eyes glimmering with mischief. He’s clearly caught on. “Should I not have touched it?”

“It’s clean!” Juni squawks, his face almost glowing red. “Don’t be gross!”

“Man, now I really wish I’d picked that locked box in there open,” Felix cackles, and Juni smacks at his shoulder and then breaks for the bathroom before the vampire can make good on that promise. He slams the door behind him and Mason hears the click of the lock, while Felix laughs so hard he has to brace himself against the wall and hold his stomach.

Adam and Nate are deeply focused on their own work, admirably pretending they haven’t noticed anything going on outside their little tasks.

It takes a while for Juni to be coaxed out of the bathroom again, but even mortification that makes him blush so ferociously that Mason can feel the heat of him from three feet away wouldn’t allow him to shove his duties off on someone else. He does bring a small wooden trunk out of the bathroom with him, closed with a little heart-shaped padlock that Felix could break off easily if he wanted to. Juni seems just as aware of that risk, so he guards the trunk with his goddamned life, even going so far as to sit on it and glower at Felix while he helps Nate pack up all his waterlogged books and fragile little trinkets.

Mason does give the trunk a very pointed look, trailing his eyes up the detective’s body and meeting his gaze with an easy smirk, just to watch him flush even redder, and while he does go so red the smattering of freckles across his nose almost disappears, he looks away sharply and hides behind his hair.

Mason barely resists pulling an Adam and crushing the weird little ceramic owl he’s packing away.

The rest of the day goes pretty uneventfully afterwards. He and Adam move and dry off furniture, drag stuff that can’t be saved outside to be thrown out, Nate delights in every interesting little antique he finds and mourns the damage done to them, Felix flits around and pretends he’s helping when he’s really just having fun rooting through the detective’s things, and Juni helps where he can and avoids Mason’s eyes as they track his every move. Even if they didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to shake the awareness of Juni, wherever he is in the room.

After they’ve packed everything they could into the Agency SUV, they head off. Juni is quiet on the ride back, sitting close to the window with a box of junk in his lap. Felix is between him and Mason, completely ignoring the odd tension and distracting the detective by asking about whatever random tchotchke he pulls from the box. Mason just stares out the window and tries to ignore the niggling desire to light a cigarette, only slightly mitigated by the fact that he doesn't even have one on him.

Later, once they’ve hauled everything to Juni’s room (or in the case of the books, to Nate’s room to be subjected to the tenderest of mercies) Mason sits on the roof alone for a long while, staring consideringly at an unlit cigarette and twisting it between his fingers. His head feels heavy with everything weighing it down, a twisting, confusing mess writhing in his skull. He tries, once again, to direct his thoughts to easier things, but every time he tries to think about Juni squirming underneath him, thighs squeezing his hips, gasping his name, his thoughts inevitably turn to gentle fingers on his cheeks, a bright laugh lighting up his insides, hazel-green eyes looking up at him with… with what?

He growls and shoves the cigarette back into the pack, cramming it into his pocket.

“What does this mean for us?”

Since when is there an “us?”

He falls back onto the roof with a thud, the rough surface making his skin scream with prickling discomfort, but he ignores it. He closes his eyes, tries to quiet the jumble of his thoughts. He unleashes his senses just a bit, driven by instinct and a need to focus on something, anything else, and takes a slow, deep breath. He hears the low murmur of Nate’s voice somewhere below, in the den. Adam’s there too, naturally. He can’t make out the words, but the conversation is easy and familiar, soft with intimacy.

He snorts. The two of them are fucking ridiculous. You’d think they’d have realized they’re basically married a couple centuries ago, and yet…

Felix isn’t hard to locate, though he’s deeper in the warehouse, where the bedrooms are. He’s loud, as usual, so Mason can hear him a bit better, but still he’s not quite close enough to make out words. He focuses a little harder, relaxes his body and exhales slowly. Along with his voice, there’s a light twanging, which eventually strings together into a rhythm. Music? Felix listens to music often, but it’s usually louder, faster-paced. Grates on Mason’s nerves like absolute hell, but this is slower, brighter. And then he hears Juni’s voice, and his senses rush in like a hungry dog spotting a rabbit.

A laugh, low and sweet.

Mason is rolling to his feet and off the roof before he even has a chance to think about it. It’s the work of a few seconds to slip through the window, and he keeps his footsteps light as he slips through the warehouse like a ghost. He passes the den and glances in. Adam and Nate have their heads close together, talking in low voices with files laid out neatly on the coffee table in front of them, two glasses of wine carefully placed a safe distance away from their paperwork. Adam gives him a quick look over his shoulder, and the ever-present tension in them eases somewhat. Mason nods and continues on by.

The twanging music gets louder as he stalks down the stairs, Felix’s bright voice more raucous than ever, but it’s easy enough to tune out when he hears Juni’s answering laugh floating from Felix’s open bedroom door.

“Are you gonna stop heckling me and make a request?” he asks, and Mason can hear the sunny plunking notes of a ukulele under the words, as if the detective is absently plucking the strings as he talks. Mason vaguely recalls Felix triumphantly hauling the little green instrument from underneath Juni's shattered bed frame, scuffed and covered in wet stickers, and Juni sighing sadly at the broken strings.

“Well, what do you usually play?” Felix asks, his bed creaking. Mason can picture him flopping around like a drunk fish, and he has to stifle a snort.

“I mostly just do covers and stuff.” A rustle of cloth, Juni’s shrugging. “I’ve written a few things, but I’m already giving myself heart palpitations performing in front of people, so I think actually performing something I wrote myself would kill me outright.”

“Well, you’re performing for me, aren’t you? And you seem pretty calm.”

“Since when are you people?” Juni snorts.

Felix barks out a laugh. “Rude!”

There’s a bit of a tussle, a discordant twang, and Juni yelps. “Careful, careful! I just replaced these strings, asshole!”

Felix gasps, affronted. “I’m telling Nate you called me that!”

“No, don’t tell Mum!” Juni whines, and they laugh together more.

Mason shifts from one foot to the other, pressing a hand to his stomach as if that’ll help quell the strange feeling there.

“Stop stalling,” Felix prods, and Juni shifts and sighs heavily. “Fine, fine, but don’t make fun of me, or I will cry.”

“Scout’s honor!” Felix chimes, and Mason wonders where the hell he heard that phrase.

They’re both quiet, and then Juni strums at the strings, just dabbling a bit before he actually starts plucking a rhythm. He takes a deep breath, as if bracing himself. “I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day,” he croons, and Mason perks up almost instinctively, sunshine echoing in his ears. Juni’s singing voice, much like his speaking one,  is soft and a little breathy, but it warbles with clear nerves. “When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May…”

Felix gasps, delighted, and Juni falters for a moment, but doesn’t stop.

“Well, I guess you’d say what can make me feel this way? My guy, I’m talkin’ ‘bout my guy...” Mason slides forward, towards the door as if pulled on a string, and he sees Juni sitting at the end of Felix’s rumpled bed with its blindingly bright sheets, cross-legged with his back mostly to the door, but Mason can see his face in profile. Felix is lying at the head of the bed on his belly, with his chin propped up on his elbows.

His golden eyes flicker to Mason, and he smirks, raising his eyebrows and sticking his tongue out quickly, before Juni notices. Which he likely won’t, eyes closed, dark lashes fanned out across his freckled cheeks.

There’s a smile curling his lips, small but happy, and it only widens when Felix begins snapping in time, laughter coloring the lilting notes. “I’ve got so much honey, the bees envy me. I’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees…” He leans into the chorus, rocking back and forth along with Felix’s snapping. "Well, I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way?"

Mason braces a hand on the doorframe, if for no other reason than to stop himself walking into the room. He has no idea what he’d even say, but he knows he’d spook the detective, skittish little human he is, and break whatever odd spell has fallen over them both.

Juni’s voice gets stronger, bit by bit, as he settles, rising with confidence. He hums along to his strumming, and the smile that lights up his face sticks behind Mason’s ribs, along with the words of the song.

As Juni trails off with a dreamily sighed, “I’ve even got the month of May,” Felix claps loudly and cheers, an enthusiastic audience of one. Mason winces back away from the door, scowling and shaking his head.

He should leave. Either leave, or butt in just to watch Juni get all flustered, but something holds him still, keeps him quiet.

“I think I know that song,” Felix says slowly, and Mason doesn’t need to see his face to know the teasing smirk spreading there. He narrows his eyes suspiciously.

Juni snorts. “Everyone does, Fe. It’s from the 60s.”

“Yeah, but you sang it differently,” Felix presses. “Thinking of someone in particular, were you?”

Mason looks around the door frame just in time to see Juni whack Felix solidly with a pillow. “It was a cover!” he exclaims, his cheeks going ruddy. “A cover of a cover!” He smacks Felix with the pillow again, a solid whump muffling the vampire’s bell-like laughter as it hits him in the face. “Don’t make it weird!”

“I’ve got sunshine,” Felix warbles, snatching the pillow before Juni can swing a third time and hugging it to his chest.

“It’s a cute song!” Juni insists. “I like cute songs! I’ve got a ton I could have sung, but I picked that one, because I heard a cover once that made it about a guy instead of a girl, and you might not be aware of this, Felix, but I am a homosexual.”

Felix’s hand flies to his mouth, amber eyes going  comically wide. “No! You? How long were you planning to keep this from me?”

Juni very carefully sets his little green, lovingly restored ukulele to the side for safekeeping before he tries to wrestle the pillow back from Felix so he can hit him again.

Mason figures it’s a good time to take his leave, before Felix decides to use his presence as a scapegoat from the detective’s wrath.

He slips up the stairs, his head heavy, something… just something stirring in him he can’t even begin to parse.

Juni’s soft voice follows him back to the quiet of the rooftop, a gentle strain chasing itself around in his head.

Sunshine on a rainy day...

#the wayhaven chronicles #specialist agent mason #specialist agent m #twc fanfic #felix hauville #f hauville #bc he plays a p big role in this #also background adam/nate bc chaboi is GAY #pidge writes #oc: juniper fenn #i have no excuses for this #ive just been in a big introspection mood for juni lately #so uh #yeehaw? #im not sure how i feel about it but hhfhdhgh #hearkens back to the cheesy ass songfics of my youth at the end there

[a-flickering-soul]

do kylux for the ask meme 😳 you + me = mental illness

i love you so much for sending this in this truly is the mortifying ordeal of being known

putting this under a readmore because it is LITCHERALLY 1.2k words because i am literally clawing at the walls of my enclosure about these two

ANYWAYS go ahead and send me a character and i’ll give you some headcanons bc im having fun doing these!!!

Kylo Ren

Sexuality Headcanon: ambiguously queer. Don’t make me think about him having sex he makes me so angry

Gender Headcanon: he Must be a cis man. He has so much mommy issues. He is such an incel. He is so full of toxic masculinity. He must be a cis man.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux. Every single angle you take this ship from it’s funny and good. Canon—they hate each other and want each other dead. AU—they still hate each other but they’re (probably) less fascist and genocidal. It’s just so funny. They are so obsessed with each other. They gaslight each other into love confessions. It’s unreal. I’ve been thinking about Kylux for the past month and I feel like an entire geological age has passed. You can tell I’m a Kylux shipper and a R*ylo anti because I almost exclusively refer to him as Ren instead of Kylo. The gay angel went to superhell for Kylux to go canon in Lego Star Wars (twice) and a kids’ comic book. God mocks me to my face.

A BROTP I have with said character: This got literally shot to shit but post-TFA when a bunch of people headcanoned Rey as Luke’s kid and she and Ren were cousins and he reluctantly babysat her because he was literally ten years older than her (hhhhh.) and they had this weird mildly-contentious relationship as adults where they grudgingly acknowledge they are both the most powerful Force users in the galaxy and are the only ones who mutually understand the legacy they bear and care about each other but also cannot be in the same room together and hold a civil conversation for more than five minutes before resorting to uncomfortable silence. Like when you’re at a family reunion and you’re automatically shunted with the only other kid around your age so you have to make conversation but you are just so fundamentally different there’s nothing to talk about. Unreal.

A NOTP I have with said character: Hhh. R*ylo. I’m one of those evil lesbians who hate that ship viciously and one of my dreams is to be one of the mean antis that that bully a shipper in a story that’s clearly exaggerated or made up and then get cancelled for having good taste.

A random headcanon:  I think he and Phasma used to spar a lot. I keep thinking about the five years he spent on the Finalizer pre-canon and I can’t reasonably justify the Knights of Ren hanging out with him for the entire time on a literal military ship and I like the idea of them being the only people that are reasonably on par physically (I also like how Phasma is an inch taller than him because....whew).

General Opinion over said character: God. He drives me wild. I have a lot of thoughts about him and how good he was in TFA and the pre-canon comics/novels as a really fucking good example of a morally-conflicted villain (especially the comics where it made it really clear that he was very much manipulated and gaslit since like…ten years old). Like! The way he could flip at will from drawing strength from both the light AND dark side of the Force is just!! So cool! The way his strength literally derives from moral conflict is just really interesting to me but….idk the way post-TFA he was thrown into a redemption (Rendemption) arc that hinged on Rey being a literal genuine fascist sympathizer made me just really disappointed. He had a lot of amazing potential to be either a really interesting semi-redeemed Byronic antihero OR a full on unhinged animalistic power-mad villain that Rey has to mercy-kill like a rabid dog. And then. Well. Yeah. I like him a lot in very specific contexts and flat out hate him in most others.

 Armitage Hux

Sexuality Headcanon: gay! He is gay! I have an entire list of reasons why he’s gay and it grows daily! Without a doubt a homosexual! Gay and repressed!

Gender Headcanon: Also a cis guy even though I still do have a lot of half-formed thoughts about gender in the First Order/post-collapse of the Empire society.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux! Again! I’m obsessed with how obsessed Hux is with Ren. He hates him so much it’s unreal. I keep reading the novelizations and thinking so fucking hard about how consumed Hux is with hatred for this one man. He’s so repressed. He’s so damaged. It’s unreal. The brainworms in my head have metamorphosed into moths and they’re flapping their wings so hard they’re disintegrating my grey matter. I think near-daily about how he personally went down to retrieve Ren from the collapse of Starkiller Base and yet would not touch him to drag him to shelter in the Hux graphic novel. Would you take off your glove to check his pulse or would you attempt to feel it through the leather and touch something’s dead skin rather than his living warmth. I’m so deeply unwell.

A BROTP I have with said character: Him and Phasma!!! The way they are on first-name terms with each other….the way one of the few times in the graphic novels you see him smile is when Phasma comes back onto the base…..the way they plotted to kill Brendol together….truly evil mlm/wlw solidarity you simply love to see it

A NOTP I have with said character: Oof I see a lil bit of shipping him with Resistance members (I think I’ve seen him with Rose and also Poe??) and I know TROS made the decision to have him defect from the First Order (out of. again. his obsessive hatred with another man. writing choices.) but it makes me INSANELY uncomfortable seeing people of color being shipped with a literal fascist parody of British colonialism and imperialism lmao like….just ship Kylux bro they’re mutually bad people AND a power couple

A random headcanon: Frankly at this point I joke so much about how much like a sick Victorian orphan he looks like that I could write an entire fake medical file for him but I’ll spare you all and simply say that I am incredibly partial to the headcanon that Hux is a freak that bites string cheese instead of peeling it like a normal person. Also…the implications that he Personally placed the tracker in Ren’s belt rather than someone else, so that he alone could keep tabs on him…..I’m unwell. Enough.

General Opinion over said character: If Ren is a character I love to hate, Hux is a character I hate that I love. I just. I can’t stop thinking about this gay little war criminal. It truly, genuinely baffles the mind how much information there is about him. It triggers that same little part of my brain that goes wild over like. ARGs and stuff. There’s just so much lore. With every new piece of canon or semi-canon information I learn about him I can feel my grip on sanity slipping. He owns a black robe. He has a personal hitman in the First Order ranks to poison people he doesn’t like. He drinks tea. He’s a bastard son. He’s great with kids. He was in charge of a squad of feral orphan child soldiers at five years old. I just. I just don’t get it. I’m enamored with him. His compulsive attention to grooming. His hubris. His ambition. How literally unhinged he is (the “rabid cur” line genuinely lives in my head rent free). The way he systemically killed every single person who saw him weak and abused as a child. There’s just so much to talk about with him. He’s so evil. He’s so fucked up. I love him so deeply. He is such a horrible person and he is so fun to make fun of and he is so fun to think about. God wants there to be a bullet in my head so badly.

#im so unwell this is SO LONG #sam you did NOT sign up for this king im so so fucking sorry #star wars #huxposting #answered #i literally love you for sending this in im so sorry this is incoherent im in hell #tsukkimutual #kylux

[quaintqueer]

I don't know what you think about labels, maybe you are the kind of person who watches shows like Marie Kondo where they organise people's houses and put sticky labels on everything so that you can easily identify the contents. Maybe you're the kind of person who does not like to be labelled or stereotyped. Maybe you prefer to be just yourself.

I have had a very complex relationship with labels and identity. You could say that I started off on the wrong foot. My mother went to a Baptist church on Sunday morning and a Charismatic/Pentecostal hands-in-the-air, shouting and screaming, spiritual warfare kind of church on Sunday night. And my dad had his Holy Communion as a kid and then went to mass on Easter and Christmas.  So to begin with my labels were numerous and incongruent which did cause some issues for younger Zoe.

And I want to share with you about where God has led me through the understanding of this topic. I am not entirely sure where to start and I'm not sure how vague to be here but let's just say that at least the draft will be an explicit and partly chronological one.

12 year old Zoe I went to church most Sundays with her family and she was very very lucky to have a wonderful Christian friends in her life and at this point the label attached to her as a daughter was the unproblematic child and at school she was the sweet and friendly member of the God Squad or Singing Christians depending on how you asked. But those were the kind of labels that existed around that time.

What happens though to 12 year old Zoe is that she falls madly and instantaneously in love with her best friend. And almost immediately she thinks ‘am I in love with this girl? that must make me gay.’ And being a part of the circles that I was in a fairly conservative Christian family and a fairly conservative Christian School with Christian friends in that Christian school, I said ‘absolutely not. I don't want to have to deal with that.’ I was never hateful towards gay people in general I just thought I just didn't want to deal with it myself. My mum and I had had conversations about it when the plebiscite happened, and whenever we spoke about it, it was very much about ‘the gay people’ as opposed to anyone we knew or loved, let alone a Christian person, and so this whole gay thing wasn’t really thought about. Ao a few times over the next 2 or 3 years so I would ask, ‘am I in love with this girl’ And I always concluded ‘no no no you can't be in love cos you're not gay’.

By the time I’m about 14, I’ve been awoken to all different kinds of social justice movements, I took sociology, I’m going to save the world. THe labels I proudly wear are things like left wing, passionate, an ally to many different communities, in particular the lgbtq+ community.

Zoe at one point goes ‘frick frack, I'm definitely in love with this girl’. and because of the way that this world really loves labels, this was completely synonymous in my mind with being gay. My first response was probably because I'm bisexual so now that is an importand confusing label Zoë is wearing. I have somewhat fond somewhat mortifying memories of sitting on the Shinkansen, the bullet train, from Tokyo to Kyoto next to my dad doing every single ‘Am I gay’ quiz I could find online. Throughout this trip to Japan, I’m really testing the waters and every single younger woman I saw I was like ‘Is she cute? Am I attracted to her? Would I kiss her?’ and so that experience made me very nervous because I had still grown up with the mindset that if people were gay it was ok but they weren't Christian. And I was a Christian, so I just ignored it really. And this turned into a time of me hypersexualising sll of the boys that I had ever thought I had a crush on. I can quite confidently say that I didn't actually have a crush on many of them, I just thought that that was something that I should do. So there was a lot of ignoring this feeling.

We then reach year 10, 2020, a glorious year. In the first Lockdown, I finally caved and downloaded Tik Tok. The thing about Tik Tok is that it comes with its own world of labels, and I really would enjoy the kinds of conversations about what side of Tik Tok you are on. I loved that your For You Page automatically gave you certain labels to wear as a Tik Tok user, and I loved that those applied to real life. I quite quickly ended up on gay Tik Tok, among other things. I was also very firmly on Black Lives Matter Tik Tok, on disablrf Tik Tok, on Indigenous Tik Tok, so on and so forth. But much of my content was about the lgbtq community and this opened a ahole can of worms. I, at this time, carried a lot of shame for my attraction to women. For a bit of a backstory, I had been so severely heartbroken by this girl - not by her own intentional actions, I think that she was never going to feel about me the way that I felt about her and that was not her fault - but I was so seriously heartbroken that not only did I hold this moral shame but also this like emotional shame of my attraction to women. I felt like it was not a good thing morally and it didn't feel good emotionally because I had to still been really hurt about this girl and I have never really gotten over that. So for the first time on gay Tik Tok, I saw queerness and same-sex attraction as a positive thing not only in terms of ‘hey look these are women loving woman relationships that are working well’ but also ‘whether or not you're dating someone, queer identity is good for you and it's fun to talk about’. And as a type 4 on the enneagram, I love to feel special - not to say that I fabricated these feelings or that any queer person is queer for attention - but I think a big part of me felt validated or special because of my feelings and my queeness. It was like a new club that I could join. And so the labels that 15 year old Zoe wears largely consisted of queer. We had it dropped bisexual a little bit because at this point I was not sure if I like men at all and so we identified as queer or sapphic or bi or lesbian or gay - many of these words along with the left wing, Pro Black-lives-matter, pro-feminism, pro-lgbtq+, anti-colonialist anti-capitalist etc. etc. And I don't want to demonize any of those things - they are not at all negative things, I'm just painting a picture of the different labels that I wore.

Through out starting to come out to my friends and existing for longer periods of time not only on gay Tik Tok but now really searching all through the Internet for more LGBTQ+ identity - as I tried to confirm my traction for women, as I tried to decide about my attraction to men, about what label I should wear, and what it's like being in the LGBTQ+ community different, spaces where we interact, different identities and labels and experiences of queerness. So I really tied myself to this identity and it is I think so much because of the way the world sees labels as I said and so my first response was ‘well if I like girls I must be gay and if I'm gay I must identify that way and that has to be the most important thing about me’ because all the people I was seeing online really loved being gay. They were proud of their identity in their queeness. In the world as much as I think that we like to think we’ve got this ‘your sexuality or your gender identity doesn't matter. Gay and straight and bi and pan and whoever you are, we’re all human’, I think it often the world does like to draw those lines on both sides. Within queer communities there was - obviously ironically and satirically - this heterophobia honestly. (I'm joking!) But there was a real pride in this identity of whichever specific label you wear as well as the wider lgbtq plus label which led me to believe my sexuality was who I was. And that proved really quite awkward because I knew that my church and my family and many of my Christian friends believed that same sex marriage and romance was sinful. Because of the strong connection between my identity and my sexuality, if my sexuality was sinful, that meant that I was inherently and completely sinful and I didn't like that. It wasn't a fun feeling. After all of the years of learning about God’s gift of grace to us, kind of I lost in the crevices of my mind and whenever I thought about God I was met with feelings of shame and fear and dread and resentment sometimes even anger and I grew to be so despairing.

Eventually I tried the various progressive Christianity movements that teach that ‘God doesn't actually say the being gay is a sin, the Bible is pro queerness and don't even worry about it, God made you exactly the way that you are and he loves you the way that you are, go forth and have that lesbian relationship that you so desperately want’. But that never really sat right with me. It brought up other questions of ‘well if the current translation of the Bible says things like marriage is between a man and a woman, God made man and woman, any sex outside of marriage is sinful, or even the parts that say that ‘homosexuality is sinful, or man lying with man in certain translations, is sinful what happened to that part of the Bible?’ And of course I heard the response about how at the Bible was written by man and not by God and that it is fragile and can be manipulated and basically King James ruined the whole Bible when he wrote that translation and you don't have to listen to it. But that really didn't work for me. If that part of the Bible had been mistranslated how could I know that the rest of the Bible hadn't been mistranslated? If words like homosexuality weren't in the original text and they had been added there or mistranslated how could I understand the words like grace and love and hope and patience and kindness and peace and righteousness and holiness and justice? What if they were mistranslated? What if the whole Gospel was not how it was written in the Bible because the Bible was man-made? Pretty immediatelyI decided I couldn’t really understand a Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin because Christianity is written in the Bible and the Bible says that quite clearly. I believe that the Bible is directly the Word of God, that it is perfect, that the way that it is translated - obviously different translations vary - but that it is right from God’s mouth so imediately was like I can't believe in it Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin and so I've got to pick Christian or Gay.

And I didn’t want to choose Christian because I had this point has grown quite fond of being gay and I mean, I was truly just attracted to women, right, like I wanted a girlfriend and so I tried really hard to ignore God. I was still going to church, twice or three times a week and all that, and I could not shake the existence of God. I knew God existed. I knew that He created the world, that He was good and that they was the thing called sin that separated us from him. I knew that sin led to death. I knew that He had sent His Son to bridge the gap between himself and sinners. I knew that Son was Jesus and that He died on the cross and he rose again and I knew that if you believed in him you would spend eternity with God which was a really good thing. I could not shake those feelings, all those beliefs, and I absolutely praise God for that. I'm so beyond grateful that God did not leave me, even when I hated him and resented him and felt so much anger towards him. Praise Jesus!

All this left me thinking, well some people could go to heaven, but God hates me because of my feelings. He does not want me part of His kingdom if I'm gay. I can't ever go to heaven because I'm a sinner, and sinners don’t go to heaven. I truly don't know where all my years of learning about the grace of God had gone. This led me to a really distressed position, probably one of the lowest ever my mental health had been. I was just not coping and I ended up being kind of forced to tell my mum. I don't really want to say too much on this part of the story but by the middle-ish end of year 10 I ended up coming out to my mum and she told my dad, ‘cause I refused to do it myself, and then I got a therapist. Finally, now that my mum knew, I could ask her what I had so desperately wante to ask her - if she could please buy me some books about being gay and Christian. And so she did. And I slowly but surely started to read them, I started to read my Bible more and I started to really search for what it meant to have faith trust in God’s grace and not in your own work, not in your own actions or thoughts or words. The first book I got in particular was really hard to read it was based more on specific Theology and not on personal experience and I needed that foundation in what God really said because I had just had conversations with my mum and she had reminded me ‘God is real and he loves you and he sent his son to die for you and that is an option for you as much as it is for anyone else, your queerness does not separate you from Christ's death and resurrection’. There is a wonderful bible verse that became very important to me at this time. Romans 8, the very end of the chapter, says ‘for I'm convinced that neither death not life neither Angels not Demons need of a present or the future and or any Powers neither height nor depth nor anything else in All Creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our lord.’ So with this in mind, I decided that I could trust God and now I just needed to learn how. so I worked away through different books, through different parts of the Bible, praying really hard, searching online and asking really hard questions to some really awesome Christian women in my life, and asking God to reveal to me exactly what he thought about me and about queerness and so eventually we get to the present moment. I by no means know everything that I wish I knew, but now I can say that I wholly trust God with my next life - I trust that he has the power and the strength and the holiness to overcome even my sin which sometimes feels like the biggest there is. and I trust him with this life - that life with him is so much better than any lesbian affair I could ever experience.

I want to personally apologize to any one who the church or the world has ever made believe that they are somehow exempt from God’s love because of who they are or what they've done or how they’ve felt. That is false. There is no one that does not sin, no one that is not inherently separated from God. And there is no one who is too far from Jesus' power to be saved from that sin. God is bigger than your sin, I promise you.

I want to take this time to mourn for the lives lost and the joy and peace forfeited because of the way people who claim to know God treat queer people. I'm sorry if you have been made to feel less than because of the church. In the process of overcoming of guilt and shame that I have felt over the year, one more verse that I found really important. 1 John 1 says that ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.’

So for me, I don't identify with my sexuality. I don't want to say that I'm straight now, that's not really true. but my sexuality is not what makes me who I am. I am a person fearfully and wonderfully made by God and I am a daughter of God in Christ. I am not ashamed of my feelings. I do think that it is worth mentioning that an attraction or a desire or an impulse is not the same as a sin. The Bible tells us that Jesus himself was tempted in every way and the Bible also tells us that Jesus is blameless and never sinned. And so I think it's worth the clarification that same-sex attraction or anything like that is not sinful itself and also that being gay is never worse than anyone else's sin, and it is never ever bigger than God.

I just want you all to know that there is nothing that you have done that makes you exempt from God’s love for you, to know that he is trustworthy, that the Bible is trustworthy, and I encourage you that your value is inherent as a person made in God’s image and that with Jesus, you can have identity in his son alone. When he sees you, he sees the goodness and perfection of Jesus if you believe in him.

[i-loves-my-lemurs]

Fanfic writer's director's commentary! Thanks to @candycoloredwolf for the ask! I chose to talk about my first panchulien oneshot 'Wanna Dance?'. I wrote it in a single night on impulse so there's a few grammar mistakes and other stuff I noticed upon revisiting it.

I probably went way overboard on my commentary (oops) but it was so much fun going through it all. I hope this is entertaining.

.............

*the crocodile ambassador gave him an unusually soft smile.*

After everything that's happened in the show, I feel like the croc ambassador would have warmed up to Julien quite a bit and come to respect him as a leader. Also he's trying to butter Julien up before complaining about one of his subjects.

*provided they were on their best behaviour. It had said on the invitation that it was a 'sophisticated' event, so Maurice had managed to wrangle all of the lemurs into formal wear, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, dancing in pairs to the soft music*

Man, I just love it when characters dress up in fancy outfits and go dancing together (like in the prom episode). One of my favourite tropes in fact, so I just had to throw it in there!

*but still all this fancy partnered dancing wasn't entirely to the ringtail's taste.*

As much as I like the formal dancing stuff, it wouldn't be something Julien would enjoy, so he's already looking for an excuse to bounce and throw his own afterparty. He's only stayed so far to try and be polite and improve relations between their kingdoms or something else that Maurice told him to do.

*Clover, Sage and the rest of the mountain lemur kingdom was there, and the king and queen were happily sharing a waltz. Maurice was dancing with his sister while Prince Brodney was teaching their children the steps*

This takes place after the show's finale, but without the inclusion of the zoosters, so sort of like a parallel universe? Where Julien and Clover are monarchs together, which I think is neat. Also People tend to forget that Maurice has a sister, myself included really, and I kinda wish they'd had more cute bonding moments, so I gave then a brother/sister dance.

*even Pancho was leaning against a tree*

Aside from the main squad (excluding Mort of course) Pancho is the only minor lemur that Julien really mentions here. Almost like he was looking for him specifically. Hmmm....

*He caught Julien's eye and winked. Julien chuckled fondly.*

Casual flirt.

*"I do have a minor issue with the behaviour of one of your, ahem, subjects*

That little cough just feels like something the croc ambassador would do when he's embarrassed, or to sound authoritative, so he did.

*Julien tore his eyes away from Pancho*

"Tore his eyes away" almost like he didnt want to look away. Hmmm...

*The anxious lemur was currently giggling as he twirled his new boyfriend around*

Ah, I just want Willie to be happy and have a good time with his bf. He deserves to laugh more. New boyfriend infers that they're in the early stages of their relationship, so they're just messing around being silly and cute and having fun together.

*but Horst and Mary Ann weren't doing much better.*

Horst and Mary Ann deserve a nice romantic dance. It would be pretty awkward because she's twice his size and can only really walk on all fours, but they don't even care. They just cut their own path through the dance floor and ignore everyone else, no matter how annoyed the other dancers are because they keep getting in the way.

*"Well, they're both males!" He said. "It's completely unnatural, wouldn't you agree?"*

Oof, the croc ambassador wants that snooty monarch solidarity with Julien since he's the most popular king in Madagascar, but that ain't happening any time soon. Not with that attitude!

*Julien was lost for words. He had known ever since he was young that he liked boys. Every male in the kingdom liked boys! In fact, it was considered a little unusual if you WEREN'T interested in the same gender.*

I like the idea that homosexuality is just the norm in the party kingdom, kinda like She-Ra. People are just gay and nobody thinks anything of it and coming out is celebrated. Julien doesn't care if you're gay or straight though, he just cares for his peeps and wants them to love who they love.

*whatever their genders were*

A subtle difference between Julien and the croc ambassador, Julien says 'genders' while croc ambassador says 'sexes' because Julien is more open to the idea of gender not being confined to biology.

*Julien took a few deep breaths and tried desperately to not get angry.

"What's the problem man, they're just dancing." He remarked in what he hoped was a neutral tone.*

Julien tries to keep his cool here, a bit of his character development showing. He now knows that everything doesnt have to be a scene, so keeps his temper. It's also kind of to protect Willie and his partner though. He knows they're having a good time and he doesn't want to bring to their attention that their host doesn't like what they're doing, because he knows they'll be upset.

 *"rather not have it ruined by such atrocities being committed!"*

And this was the point where I started to hate the croc ambassador too while writing.

*"Oh, hey Julio." Pancho smiled at him. "I was just gonna-"*

Pancho was just gonna say that he was bored with the party and wanted to leave. He would have asked if Julien wanted to come with (he could tell Julio was getting bored and he couldn't have THAT), which would have been a different fanfiction entirely.

*"Wanna dance?" Julien said.*

I honestly can't remember if I thought of the title or this line first.

*He considered sticking his tongue out at the reptile's back, but ultimately decided that such a juvenile display wasn't the best way to get his point across.*

Again, character development. Julien has matured (a little) and realised that there are better, more fulfilling ways of getting revenge.

*"OK." Pancho said with a shrug, and slid his paw over to Julien's waist,*

Once Pancho can mentally catch up with what's going on, he rolls with it. In fact, he sorta likes the idea of dancing with Julien, and had been trying to gather the courage to ask him for most of the night. I wonder why...

*As they danced though, he began to feel his attention drawn to a different place: how smooth Pancho was on the dance floor,*

We all know Julien's attention span is not great, so there's no way he's going to be able to stay angry when he's too busy being distracted by Pancho's smoothness.

*He raised an eyebrow. "You just couldn't resist?"*

Not entirely subtle flirt.

*"But you know, you're not a bad pick." He patted Pancho on the arm.*

Not entirely subtle either flirt.

*"Abner over there's been missing steps and stumbling all night!" He glanced over at Abner and his wife with a small frown.*

Poor Abner, he's the one getting picked on tonight. Bit of a running gag here.

*Pancho's eyes widened and he instinctively pulled Julien closer, whether it was to shield him or to further prove the point, Julien couldn't tell, but the ringtail wasn't complaining.*

Pancho does pull Julien closer on instinct to protect him, he knows how badly homophobia would hurt Julien's feelings. Julien is just loving it though. He was more angry for Willie's sake than hurt anyways.

*"But us lemurs dance with guys all the time!" Pancho exclaimed. "I've seen you kiss four different guys at a party once! What's his problem?"

"That's what I'm saying, wait I did what?"*

Even if they weren't a couple, dancing together is just something the males would do. They're that casual. And of course Julien would go around kissing everybody at his parties when he gets drunk enough. Poor Julien doesnt remember half of what he does at parties though.

*"Oh no, I don't mind." Pancho remarked, then cleared his throat awkwardly, looking away.*

Awkward silence much? Internally Pancho is just screaming *why did you say that?!" because he doesn't know how to handle his feelings right now, especially not with Julien so close.

(For any other ballroom dance enthusiasts, what they're dancing would be a mix between a waltz and a slow dance. Like a casual, less fancy waltz that's quite easy for them to get the hang of, but still quite romantic and personal).

*"You know Julio, I don't think he's gonna notice." Pancho remarked.*

But eventually Pancho plucks up the courage. They're already dancing, he tells himself. And Julien just wants to make the crocodile ambassador mad. Julien kisses people platonically all the time so he won't question it. If he doesnt like it, say you were doing it to piss off the crocodiles. And if he does like it... well...

*"Well, I had an idea." Pancho was avoiding his gaze again."*

He's still nervous of course, but he's made up his mind. It's all or nothing, baby!

*"Lay it on me." Julien said.*

And he does! Literally!

*And holy Sky Gods.*

I was tempted to have this line be 'holy crap' or 'holy sh*t' because that's what I would say idk but holy sky gods just works better for the show's lore, and allows the story to keep a G rating.

*All thoughts of spiting the crocodile ambassador had been fully driven from his mind*

Julien just gets so caught up in the moment, he's all "what crocodile ambassador?" he just wants to keep kissing.

*Julien stroked his paw through Pancho's soft fur and deepened their kiss.*

I imagine Pancho's fur would be very soft, he's always playing around with explosives so he's bound to get his fur burnt off every now and then, and it grows back softer.

This was the first time I wrote the lemurs kissing, so it's not the most explicit thing in the world. I probably couldn't write an explicit kiss scene to save my life though.

*"Hoo-ah." Pancho sighed softly.*

Hoo-ah" is exactly what Pancho would say after having his mind blown by a kiss like that. Just no thoughts, head Julien.

*"Yeah, crocodile ambassador certainly thinks so." Pancho said, a wild grin overcoming his face*

Heh heh, Pancho's happy because he just got to kiss his crush (and he liked it!) But also because he can see the croc ambassador is pissed and he loves the opportunity to mess.

*some looking angry, some looking intrigued*

Some of the crocs are intrigued because they've never been able to be open about who they are or experiment because of compulsory heterosexuality in their kingdom. Seeing two guys just being so open about their attraction to each other would definitely help them rethink things. They've never seen gay love expressed like this and it's new and exciting.

*Julien's face broke out into an ecstatic grin.

"Yeah that's right!" He called wildly. "I kissed a guy! At your party! Boom, I like kissing guys! Ha, suck on that loser! Woohoo!"*

Oh the sweet triumph of proving a point. This rant was a joy to write, it just feels very Julien.

*He grabbed Pancho's hand and held it up.*

Grab your boyfriend's hand, hold it aloft like a prize.

*"I'm like ninety percent sure Ted likes kissing guys!"*

Haha, poor Teddy needs to be extracted from the closet, pronto. Julien just has an excellent gaydar.

* and tucked a protective arm around his daughter's shoulders, turning her away from Julien.*

I imagine princess Amy would have some questions after this, questions which her father would definitley struggle to answer. If she really wants to find out what Pancho and Julien were doing, I imagine she'd visit the party kingdom alone, and the lemurs would be happy to answer her questions. Pancho and Julien may have ushered in a new era for the crocodile kingdom and their relationship with LGBT+.

*There came a cheer from the crowd of lemurs and they all began to head off the dance floor*

Of course the other lemurs go with Julien immediately, he's their king after all and the moment he suggests that someone might not be cool with their sexualities, they're ready to bounce.

*Clover and Sage at the front hand in hand,*

Clover and Sage would definitley be behind Julien 100%. The moment he declares that they're out of there, they just drop everything to leave with him.

*some mountain lemur ladies holding hands too.*

Mountain lemur lesbians? Anyone? I just think it's neat.

*"You read my mind, Julio."

Julien pulled Pancho towards him and tried to ignore how it felt like there was a little party going on in his stomach when Pancho called him that.*

Julien really likes that name! I see it as an affectionate nickname Pancho gave him that eventually just evolves into a pet name that makes Julien a little warm and fuzzy inside every time he hears it.

*Julien's heart leapt with joy to see Willie clutching his boyfriend's hands as they danced.*

Daaaww, Julien might pick on Willie but at the end of the day he likes to see him happy. He's glad they don't have to stay at a party where their dancing is scrutinised.

*Pancho rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as they stood face to face. "I'm sorry about kissing you, I just-"*

Now that there's some distance between them, Pancho has had time to think and wonder "oh sheesh, what if I messed it up, what if he only felt like it was platonic" and he's now all embarrassed, poor leem. He's just a guy in love.

*He nodded, then cleared his throat in an attempt to get a grip on his emotions. "You know, um, while we were dancing*

And now we see Julien trying to hold it together, these two are just so precious and I can totally see them stumbling over their feelings like that.

*kissed Pancho on the forehead, giggling slightly at the other lemur's squeak of surprise.*

Pancho is the perfect height for affectionate forehead kisses, let's not forget it!

*Pancho and Julien headed onto the dancefloor together and moved their bodies to the beat.*

They would have spent the night together just dancing and vibing (and making out probably).

*Nobody there who gave them the stink-eye or who told them that they were wrong. They danced and had fun and kissed without a care in the world. Julien felt so happy that his kingdom was a place where he could kiss Pancho all he liked.*

Ah I really went to town on the "love is love" concept here, didn't I? Well, a theme is a theme.

Julien's just really happy at the place he's created. He's glad they can dance and kiss and all that jazz, and he did that, he created a kingdom free of prejudice. It's exactly how I can see the kingdom's relationship with LGBT+ going down, a place where they're all just happy to vibe and be themselves.

.........

And that's the end. I hope you enjoyed this premium insight into my writings, and if you want commentary on another of my stories, or just have random questions, then my inbox is always open :)

#ask post #fanfic commentary #ahkj fanfiction #homophobia mention

[badgerthegnome]

OKAY so I binged season 5 of She-Ra

and it was ~♡*SO GOOD*♡~

Here is my very spoilery review, from perspective of I, a Glimadora fan, but a Glimadora fan who grew up in the Queer Representation Drought of the 90′s.

OKAY, so, if you’ve kept reading firstly thank you. And may we all dance together and THANK NOELLE.

Admittedly I went into this season not hopeful anyway for Glimadora, after what happened with them last season (and the fact that Catra and Adora’s star signs match the star signs of the Showrunner and her Wife? .....Yeah). 

I still love them, and think the spark of possibility of their romance is and was a gorgeous thing, and will remain one of my favorite parts of the show.

But.

WE GOT DECENT REPRESENTATION, SO very DECENT REPRESENTATION. BETTER THAN ANYTHING I’VE SEEN IN AN ALL-AGES SHOW IN MY LIFE SO FAR. 

And I HAVE to be grateful for that. 

The people behind Korrasami fought so that we could have canonical, actually represented Catradora. The entire Crewniverse, esp. Rebecca Sugar, fought SO HARD so we could have canonical, actually represented Catradora. Hell, Naoko Takeuchi made Uranus and Neptune lovers, and Be-Papas made Utena queer as the day is long, so we could have canonical, actually represented on-screen Catradora. So much has been done to get us here, so I can’t help but be grateful - baseline, gratitude, first and always - that we got this level of representation AT ALL.

And ALL THOSE Netossa and Spinnerella moments. MY GAY HEART. The fact that we got all those kisses, and the actual use of the word WIFE. Priceless.

AND Double Trouble. EXTRA priceless.

AND Kyle/Rogelio.

AND all the moments where everybody was queer with.....well, everybody. 

This show has given us SO much, that even though I didn’t get exactly what I wanted..... I can’t be mad. I’m not. I’m just so touched and pleased.

And honestly - I didn’t know how they were going to get Catradora to where they ended up, after everything. Not having shipped it before, I didn’t have a lot of thought-energy invested there, and since I didn’t have high hopes for a Glimadora-romantic-reconciliation after their fall last season I didn’t really forsee anything Catradora going well. I thought, honestly, that if they were going to push for Catradora endgame after all, it was going to feel forced and we’d only get implications, not THE CONFESSION. AND THE KISS (both kisses!).

And everything that built up to that? SO WELL constructed. I am so impressed. Not only between Catra and Adora directly, but the fact that Catra fits so well into the Best Friend Squad that I can’t picture them without her now that it’s happened. And I never, ever thought that was gonna happen.

(And I’m not even going to start about the Utena parallels in Catra saving Adora from that last vision she was having. You know what I mean.)

NOELLE I WAS SO WRONG TO DOUBT YOU.

On that note, again, I REALLY REALLY REALLY also SO much appreciate the Spinnetossa storyline, that we got to see SO much of them, and SO many kisses, and the threat of Spinnerella having been compromised was taken SO SERIOUSLY. DAMN. I shipped it before (how could you not?) but I ship it so hard now, and HAPPILY take it as consolation about my aforementioned ship woes (which can’t even really be woes. See above).

Here, have some crappily-taken phone camera shots of me pausing and flailing over the kisses as I watched on my tablet:

And as usual, the world building for the whole show - the world itself, the plot, the historical impact of all the backstory, everything - was SO WELL DONE. I have been massively impressed on that level alone since day 1, and now, at the end, I’m still not disappointed.

Also Scorpia. Always, but especially in her friendship with Perfuma this season (love love loved the resolution between her and Catra, too. I may be on board with Catradora now but I may have still cheered a lot when she blasted her, even though she was mind-controlled, and definitely squealed at the hug). 

And all the scenes between Shadow Weaver and Castaspella. The build up to her redemption was handled very, very well, too. Even though I still hate her face.

I do have to say, though, that as a Glimadora fan I’m not sure how to approach Glimbow. I did not see that coming (as much as it wasn’t explicitly shown, and as much as I appreciate that it was left open to interpretation, I do think that the timing of their “I love you” shortly before Catradora’s “I love you” was not an accident). What I DO appreciate about them together, though, is that both characters are still queer af - and in my opinion, their love pushes Bow’s sexuality in a more fluid way than I expected. When I first saw the character designs in season 1, and with how he reacted to Seahawk, I was pretty sure they were going to go ‘stereotypical gay man’ with him - and I don’t say that with any harshness on the need for gay male representation, or any doubts about Noelle or anyone else on the creative team. I say that from the background of someone having grown up in the 90′s, where the best queer representation I saw on any non adult-adult TV was Willow and Tara of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (which and who I LOVE). BUT even with their loveliness, Willow’s bisexuality/pansexuality was ERASED as soon as she became attracted to a woman (like she tripped and was like “Whoops, guess I’m homosexual now!”). So I wasn’t very optimistic about Bow being any of the LGBTQ’s except the G, BUT a) clearly I was wrong, from the start, and yay for that, and b) he reads so strongly as pansexual, in my opinion, and so does Glimmer (I know and respect that many may disagree with me on this, not trying to start any kind of wars here. Especially since we just wrapped one up ;D ). So them together actually only solidifies that representation, I think.

(And I also gotta note that I am SO PLEASED with my girl Glimmer’s character development this season, in general. I was very very glad with how they handled her, especially after how hard - though understandable - how hard her decisions in season 4 were to watch.)

Definitely definitely definitely need a rewatch, now, from the perspective of Catradora AND Glimbow. An open one, trying to see both developing from the beginning, and value and respect all that went into building them.

I wanna end by saying that one of the things I appreciate SO much about this fandom is that we all have SO much LOVE for the show itself, and the representation we’ve been given. So I hope no matter what we shipped, still shipped, whatever we wished for - we can be grateful for the gift that this show is. And hopeful, too, for a spinoff in whatever format they can give us.

(I personally want more comics, but I’m super biased.)

P.S. Shoutout also to Entrapdak, Wrong Hordak and to Keston John for all the amazing work he did with all the clones this season. Damn.

(And that moment with Prime-possessed Hordak and She-ra/Adora at the end was ALSO PERFECT.)

(Okay really shutting up now.)

#spop #spop spoilers #spoilers #review #catradora #glimadora #glimmadora #spinnetossa #glimbow

[ladylesso]

thea gushes over kate's "alex vs the school for good" fanfic

i've reread this fanfic twice before it was finished but now it's finished, therefore i will read this beautiful work of art a third time and i have no regrets because this is the best fanfic in the entire fandom and i love kate so let's go (u never asked for it but here it is @pumpkinpaperweight)

i love how alex's close relationship with her parents, especially tedros, is already established within the first scene

alex is so witty and her mind is so sharp i've missed her so much :')

alex ribbin on tedros and agatha laughin as a sign of encouragement is my favorite thing

chapter 3: hooray for teenage angst

I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT TEDROS NAMED HIS DOG CHICKEN THAT IS SUCH A TEDROS THING TO DO

will there be a one shot on the multiple ooty ambassor incidents????? i am Excited

"...and the author of this tale had lost their copy of The School for Good and Evil, and therefore could not remember exactly what the School for Good was meant to look like. They were running entirely off memory, and not doing a bad job, all things considered." KATE AKSKSJDKLFJ

get this: what if the camelot years were just a fever dream and alex vs is canon. what if.

chapter 10: these dogs are still alive for plot devices and comic relief don't @ me

marcy girl chill out

omg dean cromwell vs alex wearing the boys' uniform scene - iconic and sora-approved

oh my god i actually thought sophie stopping thorne was a scene in the actual books instead of in alex vs skdjkdfs

i love kate's adult! sophie - very realistic and in character

chapter 13: HA! GAY!

talib and sora my babies my precious my lovelies

"talib grinned, looking back in the direction of the classroom - sora kept looking at him and missed a step on the stairs" gay

chapter 15: my gran could do better, and she killed a warlock with a cheesecake - I LOVE THE CHAPTER TITLES SO MUCH

alex is so precious why are people being so mean to her :'( sora and i will happily burn them alive

"chaddick and lancelot always smacked her with the butt of the sword to signify a hit, but tedros had tended to sort of half-heartedly shove her off of the mat, unwilling to hurt her" tedros being a good and caring soft dad :')

"alex, what does your dad have?" "low self-esteem?" JESUS ALEX SKDFJLSDJFLJFSLDJ

"alex's temper was utterly uncontrollable, and hort didn't know how he'd forgotten- now it was all rushing back to him in one big, rather traumatic, wave" I'M LAUGHING

omg four year old alex defending her father i'm heart eyes

#i don't like this cromwell bat bring dovey back

"sora's brain was still trying to work out which panic he should prioritise more -the super deadly predators trotting at his feet, or the fact that talib was holding his hand?" Gay

seeing alex cry is like seeing a friend crying - it makes you sad and murderous

"we have been in so many fights.” said alex tiredly. “i wish our author would think of something else. but she won’t, it’s the Trial by Tale next, and that’s all fighting” KATE

chapter 21: EMMA, THEY'RE HOMOSEXUALS

"sora had snatched nadiya’s handkerchief and thrown it to talib like a maid watching her favourite knight" [crying] i would kill a small child for them

sora and alex trying to hide behind each other at the same time is makin me burst into hysterics

oooo sora bout to murder a bitch

sophie acting like an actual dean :')

nadiya's such a queen we stan

june being friends with talib and fondly calling him an idiot is my new religion

alex saying she's the "loser daughter" and me knowing that tedros and agatha are watching her right now hurts. thanks a lot kate

june and thorne???? ship????

omg sora laying it on thick and pretending to be unconscious so talib could carry him sldjsdlkfjdslf

SORA COMPLIMENTING TALIB ON HOW BEAUTIFUL HE LOOKS IN FRONT OF THEIR CLASSMATES

"my darling angel prince" that's Gay "sora fiddled with talib's collar" GAYYYYY

"gentle marital dispute" i adore kate's humor

TALIB PUNCHING THORNE TO PROTECT SORA

"wow,” said sora dreamily.

“he just punched someone in the face, sora,” sighed marcy.

“i’m dying, not blind. that was hot--”

im going to have a heart attack

sora dragging tedros is my new favorite thing

"sora smiled in a very self-satisfied sort of way, almost as if he knew the annoyance he’d caused several hundred miles away" this is sora's true talent

i love how alex breaks the 4th wall

sora: i don't know whether you've noticed, alex, but i can be really rude?

alex: ur not that rude to me

sora: because i thought it might make u cry

:') i love their friendship so much

yes alex! call him out! sora IS emotionally constipated!

omg im curious as to what color alex's fingerglow is

OMG ALEX'S TALENT IS RELATED TO AGATHA'S I LOVE IT

newsflash cromwell! we don't care about ur reputation OR you

alex clutching onto her aunt's arm :'(

awwwwhhh alex w curly hair!! <3

talib is the sweetest boy ever oh my goodness

OH MY GOD HE'S A PISCES OF COURSE KSJFSDJF SOFT BOY

sora is an aquarius HAHA suits him

alex's dramatic entrances are clearly from sophie's influence :')

talib gifting sora roses that's Gay

sora foreshadowing how ros and raiden will get along >:)

sora is a grumpy old man in a 16 year old body but WILL eat his friend's questionably edible birthday cake made for him don’t test him

TALIB AND SORA KISSING QUEEN KATE REALLY DELIVERS

SORA MAKING THE FIRST MOVE I AM SCREECHING I AM GOING TO BITE MY ARM OFF

oh my go d talib don't go ohmygod kate why

OMG ROSALINE POV I'M EXCITED

agatha planning a wrestling match with her and tedros vs cromwell and agatha confirming that the coven have spilled blood over june and will not hesitate to do it again is my favorite thing

if u look closely or if u look at all, ros is clearly a never

tedros: i don't have favorites

agatha: i do. you're my least favorite

tedros: i'm ur husband

agatha: so?

omg alex is tedros' favorite and marcus is agatha's favorite so does that mean ros is sophie's favorite

and now we're in marcus' POV? kate just keeps delivering

omg the famous camelot family scene i've been waiting for is finally coming to fruition

it's official: we stan emi

whenever i hear somebody call agatha the queen of camelot, i get this tight ache of pride in my chest

i love how marcus just looks at his father and tedros knows exactly what he's asking :')

raiden and the twins, marcus and ros? my Body is Ready for ros vs

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE SLAMMING THE DOOR OPEN IN THIS FANFIC KSHFDJFSLJLJ

anemone campaigning for a ranking board that says who has the hots for who is something i can get behind

"there was a brief scuffle whilst both tedros and agatha fought to hug alex at the same time, which she didn't look in the least bothered about" ALEX FAMILY TIME YAY <3

alex introducing agatha, her famous mother, to her roommates is one of my favorite things

"alex stuck her tongue out at her and went back to rifling in her mother's cloak pockets for food" if this isn’t me -

alex being a wingwoman to make her mom sign marcy's copy of the tale of sophie and agatha is my favorite thing #1972934794

talib not recoginizing tedros as the king of camelot but as alex's dad :')

THE COLD SHOULDER SMOULDER

i love how ros could tell how much a fashion piece costs and what material it is just by looking at it

"there was a resounding crash, and another blade caught his, halfway" i love how tedros entered into this chapter kate is such a good writer

im lovin these marcus and ros descriptions

"rosalind and marcus looked at each other, then, slowly, back at jimmy. both of them suddenly looked a lot older than they were. raiden wondered how much damage they could do as a team. probably quite a lot" "raiden resisted the urge to squish marcus's cheeks" ROS VS HERE I COME

sophie rushing bc she senses drama is a big mood

omg i love these camelot year references

"...whilst tedros tried to pretend he hadn't just tried to shove agatha behind him, and awkwardly returned Excalibur to its sheath" his instincts :')

people mentioning that alex is a big sister makes me feel warm inside

the image of tedros braiding rosalind's hair gives me heart eyes

OMG GIN MILLS AND THE GOODS REFERENCE HAHA I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE KATE

im glad they're talking about alex and the reverse mogrification incident! i am also Intrigued

wait i thought ros and marcus were 10 years old? but agatha mentions how ros is 13? did i miss something

alex and hester aunt and niece relationship :')

this unspoken understanding between the pendragons is everything bless u kate

"i love it when Evers act like Nevers," emi told her grandsons from under her tree. “it’s good for the liver.”

EMI KNOWS ROS IS A NEVER SHE CALLED IT

oh alex u sweet darling child of course sora and talib are boyfriends even thorne could see it

this alex and thorne thing? gotta say,,,,,, i see the ship possibilities

SORA YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BUFFOON JUST TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND TALIB OH MY GOD

omg the everboys sitting in the beautification lesson im excited

emma,,,,... darling,,,,.........,,, they're Gay

i support alex's plan to look hot for the snow ball and single-handedly destroy the buffet

i love how tyler and marcy are in the squad now :')

anemone: WHO

talib: i'm not telling u!

anemone: WHICH GIRL

talib: not a - not a. uh, girl

anemone: I RESPECT THAT ALSO

tyler, nadiya, and marcy quietly discussing alex's type LKSDJFLSJFK

sora im bout to body slam u talk to ur bf u idiot donkey don't be like teenage tedros and agatha

"akiyama sora is a dead man," muttered nadiya" i bow to one (1) queen

SORA'S GAY PANIC

chapter 29: fellas is it gay to protect roses from winter damage

"poor thing,” she added as an afterthought. alex was forcibly reminded of her aunt’s 100% Evil status"

i love these scenes with sophie <3

"er. it's okay, professor," said sora's mouth. alex for the love of christ help me you useless git, said sora's eyes"

FINALLY SORA YOUR TWO BRAIN CELLS KISSED AND EXPERIENCED COMMON SENSE

alex saying marcy has horrible taste in men but swearing to take tyler's kidneys if he doesn't go for marcy - true friendship

AWWWWHHHHHH ALEX CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THE EVERGIRLS WHO DON'T WANT DATES TO GO TO THE SNOW BALL WITH ANEMONE <333333

anemone just said the f word is this legal

the amount of times i've screamed over sora nd talib is too much to count - sometimes in excitement and sometimes in pain

"he was cut off when talib seized his collar and kissed him, much harder than sora had kissed him the first time" my lungs are exploding

ANEMONE IS ME I AM ANEMONE

"sora exercised all the curse words he knew in her native language. alex grinned. "you sound like ros. except ros knows more words" oh??????????

i've smiled more reading chapter 29 than i have this whole year

sora: weren't u listening to the announcement yesterday

alex: who was doing the announcing?

sora: pollux

alex: nope

love that tedros deemed his wedding outfit a Sacred Object

i love how tedros and rosalind bond over fashion

alex has a daily ritual of high-fiving the statue of king arthur, her grandfather. i love her.

omg tedros adopting a pseudo father figure role over tyler love that

i said love so many times but i can't help it this fic is just too good

it's official: sora is alex's partner in crime

so just to catch up, the squad consists of alex, nadiya, sora, talib, tyler, marcy, and june - and out of this chaos rises a mom friend: nadi

i never knew how much i wanted to see the teachers gossiping until i got it

of course agatha never hired a nanny for her children she loves them too much to ever not raise them herself >:((((((

magazine with a pic of talib: major hottie alert!

sora: finally, some high-end journalism

kate ur mind is amazing

omg i love this curses! the musical plot point im excited

ros? as the queen of camelot? Sign Me Up

SORA ND ALEX WROTE THE SCRIPT KSJFSDLJFSLD HERE WE GO

alex is drawing a six pack on her stomach with a pen to prepare for her role as tedros somebody please help me my lungs have ruptured 

title reference on a crop top!! impressive!!

"MORE PANACHE !" sophie bellowed at the stage" did soman write this or did u kate

is marcus on the autism spectrum???? it would be great if he was

"alex said a quick prayer to rosalind, patron saint of spinning half-truths to people and getting away with it"

im grinning so hard at agatha possibly dying of laughter during alex's rendition of curses! the musical

"tedros made a sound like an animal in pain and sank down so low in his seat that he was barely visible. agatha burst into hysterical cackles, reminding ros, not for the first time, that she had been raised by an actual witch" "'tedros' and 'hort' had a rap battle that ended up getting too personal and devolved into a fistfight" AGATHA AND I ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE

"she turned around, saw tedros stood behind her, and screamed. tedros held up the programme, open on the page which said rewritten by akiyama sora and alex pendragon. alex screamed louder."

i adore the news' headlines

what's on the school master's mind??????????

omg is it about marcus and ros??

YES IT IS SKFDSJFL

chinhae is ros' friend and both of their names were circled in red bc the school master has a plan for them. whoaaaaaa

"slowly, she turned back to look up at the school master's tower. and got the distinct feeling someone was meeting her gaze" chills

finished 1:06 AM june 14, 2020

#this is so LONG sorry!!! #but i just love alex vs so much #i don't read fanfics at all so this is all yall are gonna get #i mean besides kate's fanfics ofc #alex vs #sge fanfic #kate #thea reads

[svudrabbles]

Imagine you’re Nick’s daughter, and you come out of the closet...

This wasn’t the first time this month you’d been involved in a fight at school. Twice now, the school bully, Kelly, was mercilessly bullying a gay student. Each time, you’d stood up for them, which caused a bloody mess. You won, of course, but it also meant a school suspension. Nick was growing tired of the behavior. You weren’t a violent kid, and he couldn’t figure out why the topic of the kids being gay hurt you so badly that you felt the need to use your fists instead of your words.

He picked you up from school pissed to hell. On the ride over he lectured you without end, saying you were grounded from using electronics, from doing anything fun outside of school, for an entire week. He continued to lecture you when you got up the station.

“Ouch, Baby Amaro.” Fin laughed at your swelling lip.

“You should see the other girl.” You joked.

Nick sent you a glare.

You sighed, settling into a seat next to his desk.

“I’ll get you some ice.” He grumbled, going off to the snack room.

Olivia walked over to you, and looked down at your injuries. “Are you okay, honey?”

“Physical pain goes away. The other kids emotional trauma will be with him forever.” You stated, shaking your head. “I’m fine with a suspension if it shuts that kid up.”

“What happened?” Rollins piped up.

“This girl was bullying a kid in my class for being gay. He just started dating one of the seniors, and Kelly was down his throat. I warned her to stop riding his ass, but she continued. I pushed her, she pushed me...wham.” You shrugged. “I don’t regret it.”

“You should.” Nick said as he entered the room again, gently applying the ice back to your lip. 

“Well I don’t.” You scoffed.

He raised his eyebrows at you. “You made me leave work, and come to pick you up, just to find out you’re suspended for two days. You used your fists instead of the large vocabulary you have. That’s not okay.”

“Words don’t work against homophobes, dad.” You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.” He put his hands on his hips. “I’m your father, now show me some respect.”

“And give me some leeway!” You stood on your feet, your voice raised. “I was protecting somebody from being hurt terribly, and you refuse to see that. All you see is how I went about doing it!”

“Why do you insist to be violent? I didn’t raise you this way! Why does it matter to you so much anyway?” He raised his voice back at you.

“Maybe because I know what it’s like to be bullied when you come out as a homosexual!” You shouted, throwing the ice pack across the room. “I know how badly it hurts. I know how much it crushes your soul. I know he went through ten fold the amount of pain I put Kelly through, because I’ve felt it.”

All of a sudden, Nick was quiet, and so was the rest of the squad. Tears began spilling down your cheeks. This was not the way you wanted to come out. 

“Mija...” Nick said softly, walking toward you.

You shook your head, and went running out of the precinct. You ran, and you ran until you made it outside. You were crying, your breathing hard and heavy. You stood outside as everyone rushed passed you, and you just cried.

It didn’t take long before you felt a pair of arms pull you away from the crowd and back into the building. It was Amanda. “Baby, come here.” She wrapped you tightly in her arms, and allowed you to weep into her chest.

“I didn’t want him to know that way.” You croaked. “But he doesn’t get it...he doesn’t get it.”

“Shh, it’s alright.” She mumbled, softly caressing your hair. “I know, baby. I know.”

“He must be so disgusted by me.” You sobbed.

“No.” She pulled you away only to cup your warm, damp cheeks in her hands. “He’s up there beating himself up that he didn’t recognize it sooner, and that he’s been so harsh with you. He loves you so much, and just wants you to be the best you that you can possibly be.”

You sniffled. “Really?”

“Yeah.” She smiled softly. “Really.”

“How am I supposed to face him?” You mumbled, looking away from her.

She grabbed your hand. “With me. Together.”

You gave a nod, and the two of you went back to the 1-6. When you got back up, your dad was pacing the floor.

You swallowed.

He looked toward you, and ran over, gathering you in his arms. You were too big to be held, but he did it anyway. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and buried your face in his neck.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I should have known. I should have...”

“It’s okay, daddy.” You muttered. “You couldn’t have known. I didn’t tell you.”

He sighed. “I need you to know I love you so much. Who you love will never change that.”

You smiled. “I love you too.”

He kissed your cheek and took a deep breath. “You’re still grounded.”

“Fair.”

#svu #law and order svu #nick amaro #nick amaro imagine #daughter

[atexonat]

Wtfock’s Storyline developments

Season 3 of Skam has many storylines:

Friendship: Isak’s friendship with Jonas and the rest of the boy squad. His friendship with Eskild, which is more mentor-like, but they are friends after all. His friendship with Sana - a lot of Season 3 is about friendship

Parental Relationship: Isak’s struggle to come out to his mom and how he doesn’t talk to his dad

Religion: again with his mom and Sana as well

Mental Illness: Even’s character

Homosexuality: probably the main storyline of the season as it is the central driving force of Isak’s development. It makes his push away his parents and friends, and is one of the main conflicts with religion

There are of course lesser storylines: cheating, kosegruppa (if you can even call it a storyline), etc

Episode 1 of Skam Season 3 set all of these storylines up (with the exception of Mental Illness) so I thought I would compare how Episode 1 of Season 3 of Wtfock has done 

Friendship: Probably the most set up of all storylines, from the first two or three days we get an understanding of Robbe’s friendship with the boys squad. It’s arguably the worst in the Skam Universe, and they’ve put a lot more detail into it - which makes me think that hell week and week 6 will be particularly dedicated to it

Parents: Wtfock is one of the few Skam remakes (excluding Italia) that has properly set groundwork for his relationship with his parents. They’ve said his mother is in an institution (I don’t remember if it was a hospital correct me if I’m wrong) and that he can’t stay with his dad. But rather than doing this through texts they have physically shown us through clips

Religion: practically non existent and there’s no set up for it. Whilst we know Robbe and Yasmina are friends, considering how much time they’re spending on his parents and frienship, I can see this storyline getting cut out

Mental Illness: it has been set up through his mother (which I really like a lot) but nothing for Even’s character (which is unsurprising at it usually starts in Episode 5)

Homosexuality: I would say there are two parts within the origins Homosexuality storyline: Isak accepting it himself, becoming proud of it and Evak’s relationship. Rather than move straight away with Robbe officially acknowledging this season that he’s gay, they’ve set a lot more groundwork for it to make it harder for him to come out. We haven’t officially met Bel!Even (those two scenes of camera boy song count) which is why it feels a lot slower. Don’t get me wrong, I love the whole season, but this storyline is the central one and it’s the moment that Isak officially meets Even that everything really kicks off.

I’m all for changes, I love it, I love how they’ve changed it - not showing Bel!Even in the first week was something I never expected (and it’s something I’m intrigued by). Obviously the entire tag would be talking about him, Even is one of the most beloved characters of the show and their first meeting really is a spark for the show.

I’ve seen people saying that the season isn’t developing. I, personally (all my opinion), would disagree as the friendship storyline has been well set up and same with the parents. It just so happens to be that the central storyline is the one that hasn’t really moved forward as much. It does feel a little repetitive, at least every scene with Noor, but I’m glad from today’s clip they’re finally changing something

#wtfock

[analyzingdestiel]

DESTIEL REVIEW OF 8X8: HUNTERI HEROICI

__________________________________________________________________________________

SCENE 1

__________________________________________________________________________________

CASTIEL Excellent. [He raps the car and turns away.] I'll see you there.

DEAN Wait, Cas, Cas! If you want to play cowboys and bloodsuckers, that's fine. But you're gonna stick with us, okay? None of this zapping around crap. Capiche?

CASTIEL Yeah, I capiche.

DEAN All right, then. [He walks to the driver’s door.]

CASTIEL Can I, uh, at least ride in the front seat?

DEAN and SAM simultaneously [SAM while shouldering CASTIEL out of the way] No. __________________________________________________________________________________

REVIEW OF SCENE 1

__________________________________________________________________________________

I think it's been made clear by this point that Dean absolutely despises when Castiel disappears. Though he not only despises when he disappears to avoid questioning or to avoid a situation that Dean needs an answer to, or needs his help with, but Dean is even bothered by Castiel disappearing in general, as this scene tells us. There is no reason that Dean should have been so upset about Castiel arriving before them. Perhaps he thought Castiel might ruin it? Or perhaps he was worried about something bad happening to Castiel? I feel, generally, it is related to Dean's sense of a lack of control. __________________________________________________________________________________

SCENE 2

__________________________________________________________________________________

DEAN All right, well, I'm gonna call it. [He closes the journal he was reading.] Cas, you gonna book a room or what?

CASTIEL No, I'll stay here.

DEAN Oh, okay. Yeah. We'll have a slumber party, braid Sam's hair. Where are you gonna sleep?

CASTIEL I don't sleep.

DEAN Okay, well, I need my four hours, so...

CASTIEL I'll watch over you.

DEAN That's not gonna happen. __________________________________________________________________________________

REVIEW OF SCENE 2

__________________________________________________________________________________

I see a lot of fans referring to this scene.

We see that Castiel was not willing to leave the two in the room alone. He wanted to stay there with them, and in fact, was planning on watching over Dean as he slept. I don't feel Castiel, himself, views this as erotic. I don't feel it is related to an attraction to Dean, but rather, his desire to protect Dean. It is more related to devotion from Castiel's end than it is related to sex. I feel it is Destiel-related whether his reasons behind it are sexual or not.

Dean, we know, views Castiel's watching him as he sleeps as erotic. He's stated it in 4x3 "What, do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep?" He looks at it as if this is a sexual behavior. This isn't unlike Dean; he often sees things from a sexual point of view -- and very often with Castiel I have come to realize, which is interesting enough in itself.

Why is he relating it to sex, and why does the idea make him so nervous? There is the sense of a lack of confidence, as if Dean is worried about what might happen. He becomes dumbfounded when this sort of thing happens. Would one be nervous if they weren't attracted to that person? Even if the other person made a move, he could simply say "I don't swing that way" and it'd be over and done with. Imagine that Benny was to offer to watch over Dean as he slept. I imagine Dean would react with "thanks man, but I'm all set". I can't imagine Dean reacting with the same nervous energy if Benny had asked. (In fact, Dean's relationship with Benny entirely is different than his relationship with Castiel, who is labeled as another "friend", so I find that interesting. Though I'll get more into that in another review.)

So all in all, Dean's reaction to Castiel's offer seemed to be nervous and he reacted with some hostility. Often Dean reacts to things that make him nervous with hostility; he is not comfortable with feeling vulnerable and is especially fearful around homosexuality in general. It was made clear that this was the reason for Dean's reaction. I can practically hear his thoughts, "oh God, that's gay".

One could take this and look at it as Dean being nervous around homosexuality because he's afraid that he's going to partake in such a thing. Men who are purely heterosexual and confident/comfortable with their sexuality are usually not so nervous about this sort of thing because they realize that, because they are not attracted to the other man, that nothing will happen. And even if something had happened, they realize that the situation could easily be rectified by simply stating "I'm not interested". What is Dean worried about if he is comfortable with his apparent heterosexuality? Dean seems to be fearful that if he does allow such a thing, something might happen.

I feel his reason for the discomfort with Castiel's offer is the same reason that he was fearful of Castiel's proximity in 5x3. If Dean wasn't afraid something might happen, if he was not afraid that he might act on it himself, would he have reacted with such nervous energy? If he was not attracted to Castiel, wouldn't he have simply said "dude, give me space", without the addition of looking from Castiel's eyes, to his lips, before breathlessly stating such a thing? There is the impression that his nerves are stemming from repressed desires.

Again, let's imagine Benny and Dean in a similar situation. Imagine that Benny got closer to Dean than usual and was looking deeply into his eyes. I can't imagine Dean looking from Benny's eyes to his lips and then nervously asking for space. I imagine he'd glance at Benny, perhaps brows creased in confusion, and tell him to back up. There's never any nervous energy when he's with Benny, it's very different than when he's with Castiel.

I would believe this is referred to as "repressed sexual tension".

I cannot say for sure that this is what it is, though this is the impression that I get, and I also wouldn't doubt it because the writers did know the popularity of Destiel at this point and have catered to their fans in the past. Again, as I stated in the previous review, they have to be subtle about it though because some of their fans DON'T like Destiel. So things can be hinted at but it will always be, for the most part, ambiguous. For example, one could say Dean simply reacted this way because he's disturbed and there isn't anything he's repressing. I feel this is something Jensen would have agreed with, though one has to remember that the one who wrote this episode (Paul Edwards) may have had other things in mind that he just did not vocalize.

I feel that the relationship between Dean and Castiel is being played out exactly as is intended and that the sense of attraction and the general feeling that they are based off a romantic couple is deliberate. Those working on the series see it for what it is ("Jeremy Carver gave a note to us — I guess it was a note to Cas, to me — that I was “acting like a jilted lover” with Dean, so there you go."), and so it makes sense that viewers would see it as well.

I could continue to use Dean and Benny's relationship as a comparison because of how it differs despite the fact that both he and Castiel are labeled as Dean's "friends". It really does put things in perspective. __________________________________________________________________________________

SCENE 3

__________________________________________________________________________________

INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

DEAN is using the laptop at the table. CASTIEL is sitting on one of the beds, looking at John’s journal.

CASTIEL Your father... Beautiful handwriting.

DEAN How you feeling, Cas?

CASTIEL I'm fine.

DEAN Well, I just – I – I know that when... I got puked out of Purgatory, it took me a few weeks to... find my sea legs.

CASTIEL I'm fine.

DEAN Don't get me wrong. I'm – I’m happy you're back. I'm – I’m freaking thrilled. It's just this whole mysterious-resurrection thing – it always has one mother of a downside.

CASTIEL [closes the journal] So, what do you want me to do?

DEAN Maybe take a trip upstairs.

CASTIEL To Heaven?

DEAN Yeah, poke around, see if the God squad can't tell us how you got out.

CASTIEL No.

DEAN Look, man, I – I hate those flying-ass monkeys just as much as you do, but –

CASTIEL [forcefully] Dean! I said no!

After a pause, DEAN closes the laptop, walks over and sits on the edge of the other bed, facing CASTIEL.

DEAN Talk to me.

CASTIEL Dean, I... When I was... bad... and I had all those things – the... the leviathans... writhing inside me... I caused a lot of suffering on earth, but I devastated Heaven. I vaporized thousands of my own kind, and I – I – I can't go back.

DEAN 'Cause if you do, the angels will kill you.

CASTIEL Because if I see what Heaven's become – what I – [sighs] what I made of it... I'm afraid I might kill myself.

SAM enters the room.

SAM Hey. Got something.

CASTIEL Good. [He stands up. DEAN stays sitting on the bed a few moments longer.] Excellent. What? __________________________________________________________________________________

REVIEW OF SCENE 3

__________________________________________________________________________________

We see that Castiel continues to confide in Dean in ways he confides in no other. He reveals things about himself to Dean that he doesn't reveal to others and there is a definite sense of trust. It's been this way since 4x7 when Castiel first told Dean that he "has his doubts". There is a closeness that Dean and Castiel share, that Castiel doesn't share with anyone else. In fact, once Sam arrives, Castiel gives us the impression that he didn't want Sam to have heard him. That in itself is important; Castiel really only truly trusts Dean.

From Dean's end, we see he is still there for Castiel, and is able to help pull him out of himself. Castiel is not one to readily admit to things, especially his vulnerabilities, much like Dean. Dean doesn't express his vulnerabilities readily because of the way he was raised by his father; to be a man, to suck things up, etc. And it's similar with Castiel, who is this way do to what he thought his own "father" (God) wanted/needed him to be. So they can relate in this sense and it's perhaps why, and how, Dean is able to get Castiel to open up to him. __________________________________________________________________________________

RATING AFTER EPISODE: 5/10

#destiel #castiel #dean winchester #supernatural #8x8 #talk to me

[ask-the-castle-crasher-crew]

Random info about the knights

Blue knight: his name is Wren. He is the leader of the four main knights. He is a gay demisexual and a male. He is dating Green Knight. Is friends with Red Knight, but it’s like a love/hate relationship. They can get on each other’s nerves very easily. Friends with Grey Knight. Age: 25

Green knight: his name is Calvin, no specific job in the main four besides a knight. He is pansexual and a male. He is dating Blue Knight. Best friends with Orange Knight and Grey Knight. Age: 23

Orange knight: his name is Phoenix. No specific job in the main for like Green Knight. He is homosexual and a male. He is dating Red Knight. He is best friends with Green Knight and Grey Knight. Age: 21

Red Knight: his name is Winston. He is like the second in command of the main four, of their squad. He basically made that job up because he wanted to be the leader but Blue Knight was chosen to lead. He is bisexual and a male. He is dating Orange Knight. Has a love/hate friendship with Blue Knight. Age: 25

Pink Knight: his name is Sebastian. He doesn’t have a squad. He is his own knight, mostly works with the main four. But mostly hangs around the Blacksmiths shop. He is married to Blacksmith. He is friends with Orange Knight, Green Knight, and Grey Knight. So and so friends with Red Knight and Blue Knight. He is pansexual and a transgender. He is female to male. Uses male pronouns. Age: 27

Blacksmith: his name is Owen. He doesn’t have a squad either but he is the blacksmith, he makes and fixes weapons. When he does go on missions he goes with Pink Knight and sometimes the main four. Married to Pink Knight. Friends with Blue Knight more than the other three. He is bisexual demisexual and a male. Age: 26

Grey Knight: his name is Alistair. He doesn’t have a squad because he is the general of the entire Grey Knight army. Of course he is also the general of the main four but he doesn’t normally order them around during missions together unless he has to. He is friends with the main four and Pink Knight and the Blacksmith. He is pansexual and a male. He is in a secret relationship with Barbarian/Stark. Age: 26

Barbarian/Stark: his name is Stark. He is a barbarian. He has three friends, Thief/CJ, Bandit/Jason, and Archerer/Alexander. He is dating Grey Knight. His three friends know but he knows Grey Knight has to hide it from everyone else. He is gay demisexual and a male. Age: 28

Thief/CJ: name is CJ. Friends the Barbarian/Stark, Bandit/Jason, and Archerer/Alexander. They are a bisexual non-binary. Uses they them pronouns. They are married to Bandit/Jason. Age: 30

Bandit/Jason: name is Jason. Friends with Barbarian/Stark, Thief/CJ, and Archerer/Alexander. Married to Thief/CJ. He is pansexual male. Age: 29

Archerer/Alexander: name is Alexander. You can probably tell who they’re friends with, the three above. They are asexual demiboy. Uses they/them and he/him pronouns. Age: 22

Evil Wizard: His name is Hemlock. His friends would be Necromancer and that’s it. He is immortal and age is unknown. He is a gay male. He has a crush on the Necromancer.

Necromancer: His name is Zavier. He doesn’t care for friends, serves the Evil Wizard. He is also immortal and his age is unknown. He is a bisexual male. Has a major crush on the Evil Wizard. Too shy to say anything but would risk his life for him.

——————————

I just wanted to info dump some stuff. And those three new ones, the new Barbarian, Bandit and Archerer I came up a while ago to give Stark some friends. Idk if anyone would want to ask them questions. If you want them to be apart of the ask group just tell me, either in my inbox or comment. :D

#castle crashers #behemoth #info dump #mun speaks