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#so who the fuck am i really and why would it matter
zentraex · 24 hours
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Summary: You made a lot mistakes in your new job, but do you regret them? Nope, not a bit. But who can blame you for it? If you wouldn't have done them, you never would have met this pretty boy.
Remember: German Grammar is a lot different then English grammar. I apologize for any mistakes.
Pairing: Francis Mosses (doppelganger) x gn! Reader
(A/N): I usually write for mha, but this men dominates my fyp on TikTok and I can't stop grinning like an idiot about all this fanarts. My men is just too attractive for his own good. Nevertheless, Tumblr has too few fanfictions for him, so I had to do it myself. Still, I am not that proud about how it turned out. It certainly sounded better in my head, but I don't care. One shitty fanficion is better than none.
Art by @asteriscks on TikTok
This game is not mine, but Ignacio Alvarado. I also used phrases from the game.
Mistakes? Yes, but no regrets.
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It's been a week since you started working for D.D.D as a doorman. 
You can remember your first day so well, it could have been yesterday. 
Well... probably because your life is constantly at stake. 
_
It started with a mistake that you ended up here. It was completely unexpected since you always made sure, that you sent your rent to the right account. 
Surely no one can blame you for a small typo, right?
Well, your landlord, who kept pounding on your door until you woke up, surely did.
"What?" you asked, annoyed, as you opened the door.
"When do you plan to finally pay your bill? The date has already been overdue for two weeks!" he complains. 
What?
"Sorry, but I've already transferred my money to you."
"Well, I didn't get anything. Do you still have the receipt for the transfer?"
"No..."
You already knew what that meant: double payment.
"Look, today, I'll transfer it to your account again, okay? If it doesn't work this time, it's not my fault."
You were about to close the door, but your landlord had other plans when he held the door open with his foot.
 "No no no. You will give me the money now. I don’t trust you. Why would you transfer it to me today, when it should have happened two weeks ago. You will give it to me now."
Your eyes widened. 
Now?
"But I don't have that much money in my hand? Who's got that?"
"Then I'll have to kick you out for now. But don't worry, no one is going to buy an apartment here anytime soon, so you can move right back in as soon as you give me the money."
Staring stunned at his smiling face you could have sworn you were about to hit him. 
"The keys?" 
With watery eyes, you grabbed your keys, placed them in his outstretched hand, and frowned.
What kind of person had such sharp fingernails as he does?  
You were sure that he could definitely have stabbed someone with them.
Thank God, I didn't hit him. 
"When do you plan to give me the money? I've heard that all banks closed today. Some kind of holiday among them, I've heard."
What!?
How were you going to get through the day today? You intentionally left everything in your apartment since you were so sure that you could have given the money to your landlord in a matter of minutes. 
"You’re telling me this now!?"
"If you had paid, you wouldn’t need to know." 
That filthy bastard.
No matter how angry you were at that moment, your panic was overweighting.  
What were you going to do now? 
Shit.
"Man, I really wouldn't want to be in your situation...", the landlord murmured.
Fuck the nails- This guy deserves a punch.
Just as you raised your fist, he speaks again.
"But maybe we can agree on something.
Then you stopped. 
"The D.D.D., which is responsible for the safety of all residents in this area, is looking for doormans. Ours has recently...quitted, which is why we are urgently looking for one. They pay three times the amount of your rent in a week. If you take the job, I can overlook your sloppiness this time."
Three times your rent? In a week? And for what? To sit there and check a few documents. You'd be crazy not to take the offer! 
"Okay. I'll do it. Where can I apply?"
"Don't worry, I'll sort it out for you. Tomorrow, you can start”
_
Looking back, it should have been clear to you that something was wrong. Starting with the sudden his sudden threat, the fingernails and this stupid story about the holiday of the banks. 
Maybe it was just because you were too panicked at that moment to think rationally.
But let’s be true here: when are you thinking rationally? If you did, you would certainly have quitted after your first day.
_
"Welcome and congratulations on your new job."
After watching the short video, a man in the yellow suit came to your window. You are so shocked that you can’t even answer.
I'm going to die today!
After all, you know it yourself: you're too gullible for the job. There's no chance you'll unmask a doppelganger who copies someone well.
“As you could see on the introductory film, your job is to verify the entry of the neighbors of your building. Each day there will be a list of individuals who will request entry to the building. It is possible that there are individuals who request entry and aren’t on the list. In which case you will mark on the checklist that they are not on the list and proceed to question the individual. Also, you must verify that the ID and the entry reqest are correct and have the respective D.D.D. logo. Don’t forget to also check the expiration on the IDs. Remember it’s Febuary 1955."
Your gaze wanders to the note that was stuck to the wall. 
Arnold Schmicht F02 – 01
Anastacha Mikaelys F02 – 04
Robertsky Peachman F01 – 02
Steven Rudboys F03 – 03 
Mia Stone F03 – 01
Rafttellyn Cappuccin F03 – 04
Admittedly, you don't know any of your neighbors, neither by character nor really by sight. You were never the type to care about your neighbors. 
"I wish you good luck."
C’mon Reader, be like Henry…
But better.
The first inhabitant was Mia Stone and you already started to sweat.
"Good evening."
Was she real? Was she a doppelganger? 
With shaky hands, you reached for her ID and entry pass, only to find that everything was fine. She was also on today's list and her appearance doesn't show any deviations either, right?
Just to be sure, you looked into the folder that described her appearance: 
Long hair
Small round nose
She has freckles
...
...
...
Freckles?
Your eyes wandered again to the woman in front of you, who was waiting patiently behind the window. 
You narrowed your eyes a little and leaned forward to get a better view of her.
No matter how long you stared at her, you didn't see them, her freckles. 
"You look different...", you murmur after a while.
"What's wrong with my appearance? I think everything is fine with my appearance."
Her photo on her ID and Entry Pass both have no freckles. 
Perhaps a mistake on the part of the D.D.D.? 
You're about to press the green button, but then you see her grinning slightly out of the corner of your eye. 
Shit. 
She almost had you. You're really not made for this job.
Your hand slammed hard against the red button, causing the siren to blare and the metal window to crash down. 
"3312," you murmur to yourself.
"You have contacted the D.D.D.. A group of agents has been sent to your building. Please wait for the cleaning protocol to run."
Cleaning protocol? 
What happens to those who were cleaned? They certainly won't be killed, will they? 
What if they will?
What if your judgment was wrong?
What if...
Your thoughts were interrupted as the siren fell silent and the metal window went up, only to reveal the yellow man.
"Cleaning protocol completed. You can continue your job."
It took a while until someone finally came again. 
This time, your heart was pounding faster. Significantly faster. And this time, you can't even say for sure that it's all out of fear. 
Milkman...
You definitely can't deny it: he's probably one of the most attractive men you've ever seen. 
You don't even have to look at today's checklist to tell he's not on it – a face like his would have caught your eye right away. 
"Francis Mosses, huh?" you murmured to yourself as you looked at his ID. "You're not on today's list."
"I’m not on today’s list because I had to leave due to an emergency."
Long nose
Thin chin
Tired eyes
Short hair
Wears a hat
It all fit. The only thing left now was a call. 
Just as you began to spin the wheel of the phone, he said, "You're new here, aren't you? I've never seen you here before."
"Yes, today is my first day."
"Must be hard, huh? I've heard that more and more doppelgangers are appearing and they are becoming more and more error-free. It would be a shame if such a pretty face as yours were to disappear forever."
Your cheeks turn red and suddenly you feel shyer than you actually are.
"B-But your job has to be hard as well. I didn't think that being a milkman would rob you so much sleep."
Francis smiles a little. So little that you almost didn't see it at all.
"It's not. I just stay up for a very long time. If you like, I can bring you some milk sometime. It's refreshing, calms the nerves."
You bite your lip slightly when you have to refrain from a question.
What milk do you mean exactly?
My God, why were you just such a sucker for handsome men?
"I'd be delighted, Francis."
You talked to him for a while and you quickly forgot that you were actually going to call someone. 
"I'd like to talk to you more, but I don't want to stop you from your work. I'll see you tomorrow, right, Reader?"
And you quickly forgot that you never told him your name. 
You pressed the green button.
_
"Shh," whispered the voice of Francis next to your ear. 
It was your third day, your third time to change shift.
Well, it usually would have been.
Your vision and mouth were blocked by the bloody hands of the doppelganger who claimed to be Francis.
He had killed the doorman, that should have taken over your shift.
You had to admit, that you were more than inconsiderate. After all, you didn't ask for his entry pass, nor the reason why he wasn't on today's list.  
"I'll let you go now, yeah? No wrong move, okay?"
He laughed softly as he released his hands from you and turned your chair, so you were facing him. 
"We don't want to hurt you, do we, Reader?"
The sentence shouldn't have given you hope, because after all, you were more than sure that you were going to die one way or another.
Maybe you should have shown a little resistance. For your honor, but....
Oh?
He is so close to you that you can practically feel his body heat. Or was it your own? Your face, despite your situation, was burning. 
Even though he said he was letting you go, his hands ran over your body and you couldn't deny that it did something to you. 
Were you so shameful?
"Actually, I wanted to wait, but I couldn't take it anymore.  I've been patient long enough, haven't I? It was so much work for me, to let you get this job."
You didn't know what to say. Honestly, you didn't know if you would even be able to answer him. 
His breath touched your throat as he spoke, "I think I deserve this, don't I? What do you say, Reader? Do I deserve my reward?”
If you were going to die anyway, why not enjoy the last few minutes?
Regardless of whether he was a doppelganger, he had lived up to his title as "Mlikman" that night.
_
"You killed the real Francis Mosses?" you asked the next day. 
Francis grins, almost so much so that his real form was threatening to show itself.
"Yes, of course. What would have happened if he had come before me? You would have sent the D.D.D. after me."
Well, he had a point, huh?
No matter how wrong it was, you were glad it didn't come to that. 
You didn't know the real Francis Mosses. That's probably why his death was so insignificant to you.
"Have you killed more people?"
"Just more doppelgangers you let through."
Your eyes widened. 
You were so sure you caught them all. The false success was the reason why you didn't quit…well, it was one of the reasons.
"How many have I let through?"
Francis just continues to wear his smirk as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.
"Don't rack your pretty head over it, okay?"
You just nod, smiling.
"Are you going to kill others...?
You don't know why you added your next question. Probably because you wanted to feel special. 
"Would you kill for me?"
"Hooooonn"
When you turn your gaze to his face, two white pupils stared at you and his grin is inhumanly wide and black. 
You don't know if it's joyful or sadistic, but it definitely made you feel special.
_
Looking back, you made more than a few mistakes. 
But honestly? 
You don't regret a single one of them. After all, all of them have led to an all-too-familiar knock on your window.
When you look up, he waves, the milkman. 
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demon-kumo · 3 days
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𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖑 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕯𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑 || 𝕴𝕴𝕴
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─��──────────────────
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Lucifer Morningstar x Reader
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Summary: A girl thinks about the deal offered to her by the devil.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Warnings: Swearing, implications of Depression, mentions of past deaths.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Genre: ✿◈
─────────────────────
You sat on the bed, knees and legs tucked under your body, as you stared at the paper in your hands. Its golden glow illuminated your face, but despite looking directly at it, it seemed like your gaze was fixed on something far beyond the confines of the room. What you held in your hands was none other than...
The Golden Contract of the Devil.
─────────────────────
'... In the name of the Lucifer Morningstar, this contract will be viewed under the governance of the Lord, you sign this contract, and it can not be taken back, no matter the regret you create for yourself from virtue or sin.
With the words of this contract, [ Party A ] will carry the seed and bear the child of [ Party B ] who will be the concluded father of the child by the laws of nature and god.
Union shall be recognized and only recognized within the conditions of this contract stated below...
[ Party A ] must bear the child of [ Party B ] to claim the other rights of this contract.
All expenses belonging to [ Party A ] will be fulfilled by [ Party B ] in the past, present, and future.
[ Party A ] and [ Party B ] have the right to call upon the other for help when needed as long as the other is in favor of the other.
You looked at him with an exasperated expression, your eye twitching in disbelief, though your neutral expression hid the internal screaming that refused to subside.
"Ah, shit, fuck my stupid mouth..." Lucifer muttered something akin to regret, realizing his words might not have come out as he intended.
"Let me see if I understand what you're saying..." You clapped your hands lightly together, fixing him with a pointed look. "You want me," you gestured to yourself, "to bear," now pointing at him, "your child."
Lucifer nodded slowly and nervously, his expression betraying a mix of anxiety and regret. "...Yeah... in simple terms."
You couldn't help but let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking your head in incredulity. "Why would you ask someone you barely know to bear your child!?"
"I've known you for two weeks!" Lucifer protested, his tone a mixture of defensiveness and pleading.
"Two weeks is barely any time at all! You should know a person for at least five months before even thinking about asking something like this!"
You paced in a tiny circle, your hand pressed against your forehead as Lucifer glanced to the side, his expression filled with anxiety and regret. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead as he nervously tugged at his collar.
"To be fair," he began, his voice strained, "this was supposed to happen months later after I told you who I am. This was never supposed to happen," he admitted, his words heavy with frustration and disappointment.
You turned to him with a lightly confused face as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Truth be told," he began, "I started to search for a human to procreate with me a while ago, and then I found you and well you know the rest..."
There was a good moment of silence before you spoke again, looking at him with your neutral cold face, "No offense but... why would... you want... a kid."
He sighed and cracked a solemn smile, and looked around the room, anything to avoid your piercing gaze that easily made him flustered. "'Well, I'm sure you know, I've been around for a really, really, really long time. Like Eons long and, sure I have friends, and alone time is great. Sure watching sinners come and go but nothing... nothing felt right. I mean... depression is a bitch" You wholeheartedly agreed with that.
" I didn't have anything to look forward to, everything was boring, dull... I didn't have anyone to be there for me. So, at first, I thought finding a lover would work but then I realized no one in hell would suit my standards, only a human who would go to heaven would and no human would ever fall in love with the devil... ahahaha! I mean I wouldn't either... so I thought maybe if I could have a family, a child to be there would be with me, then just maybe... maybe this pain would go away."
"But," you interjected his monologue, feeling a bit of a pit in your stomach from his reason, "you said you were the king of hell. Couldn't you have searched for someone there? I'm sure there would have been a woman who would have been willing to do this with you."
"Ah, that place is full of sinners," he explained, his gaze drifting upwards as if lost in thought. "Humans who were given free will and made the wrong choices in life. If I were going to have a child, I wouldn't want their mother to be someone who made choices wrong enough to send them to hell."
You looked away, suddenly finding the floor interesting. You pursed your lips tight as you sighed through your nose. "Even so," you finally said, "you could have chosen another woman. Why me...?"
Lucifer looked at you with wide eyes for a couple of moments before sighing through his nose, his gaze shifting between you and the floor. "To be honest," he began, "I'm not exactly sure myself... from what I've seen, most humans have the same general mindset. They're like a herd, and as long as someone leads them, they'll follow like blind fools. Those who don't fit are cast aside and separated from everyone else, despite doing nothing wrong." He looked down, "They make the wrong choices, they wallow or blame someone else for their problems, not taking responsibility. Despite it being a moral serenity, it isn't common, only cheap kindness."
You looked at him with slightly glossed eyes. You knew he spoke the truth, but to hear it stung more than you thought it would. "But... you were different," he continued. Your eyes widened ever so slightly at his words.
"You... I don't know, you were honest, and you didn't let anyone put you down. Even if someone looked down upon you, you stood up. Held yourself up with confidence and did what you thought was right." Then a tiny smirk made its way onto his face as he glanced over at you, "Not to mention you were kind enough to bandage my wounds and take me in, even... despite being a snake. You know, I don't know if you're too kind for that or if you just don't think your actions through."
You huffed through your nose as you looked at him, chuckling with amusement in his eyes before he sighed happily and looked at you with what looked to be sincere kindness, for some reason. Looking at him like this, you thought he truly looked angelic, despite being the devil. You could see why Eve fell to temptation.
With a wave of his blackened hand, a golden paper appeared before you. It was the contract he was offering you. You hesitantly touched it before looking at him. Red eyes were the reason for the name you gifted him, bright and beautiful like the apples you love so much.
"J-... Just... give it some thought...."
You looked down at the contract for a good while, various thoughts overlapping to the point where you couldn't hear the outside world. By the time you looked up, he was gone in a mist of black with gold and red sparkles, leaving behind a phone with a rubber ducky case and a business card that had a phone number.
─────────────────────
Blinking softly, you were brought back to the present, in your dull bedroom, in your dull apartment, in your dull life. The mundane and repetitive world made you sick, like staring at a blank wall with nothing on it. It was perfect. Perfect was a standard, but imperfection was exciting.
Perhaps that was why you found Lucifer... interesting. You wouldn't say you were attracted to him; sure, he was good-looking, but you weren't one to fall for a pretty face, no matter how pretty his face was. But he wasn't perfect, and he wasn't trying to be. He was awkward to the point where you found it amusing, and you even laughed a bit. He was genuine and sweet, but a nervous wreck and a tad bit shy. At least he was trying.
Your gaze fell to your nightstand, where a photo of two people sat. A woman and a man; the man was a brunette with hazel-golden eyes that matched the sun, his smile radiant and warm. His arm was wrapped around your waist as you looked at him, a mix of surprise and delight on your face as he snapped the photo, both of you smiling at the camera.
Your eyes glazed over with slightly glassy tears. For the first time in many years, your emotions began to resurface properly. Pursed lips softened as you took the photo in your hands.
As you held the photo, memories flooded back, reminding you of a time when life felt full of promise and excitement. The warmth of the sun on your skin, the laughter shared with loved ones, the feeling of being truly alive – it all seemed so distant now.
"You know, there will be a time when I will leave. Why are you so insistent on staying with me knowing it will hurt?"
"Cause I care for you, dummy."
"Even so..."
"It's okay, let's not think about this. I want you to be happy and I want to be happy with you."
"... Fine but promise me this."
"Okay, what is it?"
"That when I leave, move on, find happiness, don't hold onto me. I want you to be happy."
"What?! But-"
"Ah! Promise me,"
"...I promise."
You thought back to the words of the devil himself (You couldn't believe you were taking the words of the devil as advice). Maybe Lucifer was right... you might not need a lover or a best friend in your life. But... you could be a mother. Could that be what you were looking for? You sighed at your own thoughts, this was irrational thinking but, you glanced at the paper and thought back to your conversation with Lucifer. The idea of motherhood sparked a glimmer of hope in your heart. It was a new path, one that could fill the void you felt in your life.
You hadn't felt that warm feeling in your chest since... him. You didn't want to let it go, you wanted to chase it. As long as you had it, the world would become colorful again. You looked at the phone and business card.
' 666-479-6666 -- CALL ME HELL '
'Let me know about your decision! 🦆'
You looked back down at the photo, and for the first time in a very long time, you smiled a ghost of a smile, one that no one could see. Something you were somewhat grateful for. You started to dial the number as you looked back at the man in the photo.
His warm gaze seemed to reassure you as if he were silently encouraging you to take this step forward. With a steadying breath, you pressed the last digit of the number, as you matched the smile of the man in the photo.
"I did promise didn't I?"
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moyazaika · 2 days
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SLASHER.
Being a slasher isn’t as fun as some people think, at least not for me. I’m not a fan of the screaming, the blood, the mess, the chase, the effort, the news reports about my murders, none of it. I just want to kill bastards who have done horrible things and move on with my life, under the radar.
Look. I get it. People with my murderous hobby send to be sadistic maniacs who love to chase and torment their victims. I don’t. I just go into their house, or wherever they are while they are sleeping and kill them. My method depends on the day and where they are. If they are sleeping next to someone else (spouse, roommate, or other) I’ll either wait until they get up to go to the bathroom or I’ll silently suffocate them or slit their throat. If they are sleeping along and no one else is around I’ll shoot them. And so on and so forth. 
My mask is pretty simple. A black mask with red mesh eye holes, they used to be white but with all the blood that it’s been covered in I can’t get the stains out anymore. My general slasher outfit is just an all black outfit that covers every inch of my skin. No dna and all that.
I don’t really fall into the slasher category where people are like “I could have never predicted this! They were such a great person!”. And it’s not because I give off murderer vibes…..at least not that I know of….it’s just because I don’t talk to people so there isn’t anyone to tell that to the police. 
I go outside, but I don’t go outside to make friends. I go out to buy food, clothes, make money, etc.
I’m not scared of people, for fucks sake I kill people, people are scared of me, not the other way around. I’m just……easily disappointed with my peers. I understand it’s hard to be a good person at times, and it’s not really my place to tell people how to be a good person when I kill someone every Saturday, but people should at least have the decency to not betray someone.
Some people are also WAY too loyal to their friends. Friends that say they would be their bestie’s alibi if they committed a crime, maybe even help hide the evidence.
I don’t want that type of friend. 
If I had a friend, I don’t want them lying for me. I don’t want them risking getting into legal trouble because of me. If they were to find out I was a slasher I want them to go to the police and report me. Doesn’t matter if they do or do not have evidence, report it. Even if I don’t’ get caught through that report I want them to report it. 
…I don’t really understand myself to be honest.
I have morals.
I have a consciousness.
I just……am detached from them at times.
Even when I talk about caring about my hypothetical friend…not wanting them to get in trouble with the police…I don’t really care…I just say and act like I do because I should care.
…I don’t really know if I’m a good or bad person anymore.
…I don’t even know why I’m writing this….what’s the point?...Despite what those articles say about journaling to get to know yourself better….nothing has changed….i’m just as detached as I was before….even talking about this isn’t completely true. I almost feel sad….but not really. It’s like I can touch the sadness through a glass barrier, but it never is truly touching me……I guess it doesn’t’ really matter. I’m not unhappy with my life, so I don’t see any reason to fix it.
The rich bastard I planned on killing woke up right before I stabbed him in the neck, so now I’m stuck chasing him around his mansion. He keeps screaming for his staff, calling them “lazy worthless idiots” and “good for nothings”. I started to wonder if I even had to pay them off to not help him. It wouldn’t be a stretch of the imagination to think that they just “didn’t hear anything” the night he died.
He ran around a corner but fell down before he could get out of my sight. Well, fell down wasn’t accurate since a second later I saw a man with his own mask on standing over him, clearly having pushed him.  He got on top of the man and started stabbing him. He screamed and the blood from his body started leaking and spread out on the floor. I took a few steps back so it wouldn’t get on my shoes, it’s a pain washing off blood.
When the new guy was done he sat on his legs and looked at me.
“oh….sorry…..didn’t know someone else was after him” he had a very monotone voice. I couldn’t tell if he really meant what he said or if he was trying to mock me.
“…it’s fine…..there were probably more people than just the two of us who were after him”
He nods and looks at the dead body.
“do you collect body parts or is he free game for me?”
“take whatever you like, I don’t like messes.”
He chuckled a little and lifted his knife towards the body. I walked away, hearing some of the cutting noises.
I keep seeing the new guy around the places I kill. Maybe he likes the area because I’m not killing him for killing in my territory like some other slashers. I don’t’ really care who kills in my area. A dead bastard is a dead bastard, I don’t really care if I killed them or someone else did. If anything I prefer if someone else does since I don’t have to clean anything.
“so….when did you start killing?”
“sir, I don’t kill people, and I’m insulted you think that.” I said with anger in my voice.
I don’t know how, but the police apparently have some evidence against me. But they aren’t good cops either, my luck is truly magical. 
The detective is clearly new. He walked in with his head held high and a superiority complex. When he looked at you, you knew he saw you as nothing but a stupid criminal that would get him a raise if he got you sentenced. But like all men with that type of ego, they lack something to actually back that up. It’s nothing but an act to try and make themselves feel more important than they actually are.
“listen, sweetheart, we all know you do, so it’s best if you tell us the truth. I don’t think you’re a cold blooded monster, something must have happened in your past that would have forced you to do this.” 
He spoke with that tone that you hear when a person tries to fake understanding. A slow speech with a fake sympathetic pitch.
This goes on for a while. The man doing a pathetic job at whatever he was trying to do.
It’s no wonder they haven’t caught me if this joke is on the team.
They planned to keep me in a cell for the night while they try to find enough evidence that would justify keeping me, but they get a call before they do that.
“it’s your lucky day, sweetheart, a friend of yours is picking you up. I’d cherish that if I were you, your days as a free woman are limited now that I’m on your tail.”
He smiled. Clearly thinking that everything he says is worthy of being quoted.
I don’t say anything.
A friend?
They walk me out the police station, a man waiting outside there…for me.
The two men guiding me smile at the man, not happy that he was the reason they had to release me, before patting me on the shoulder firmly and walking away.
“hello, again”
Oh…..it’s him…….
He didn't look like how I thought he would. I was expecting a man with dark hair, bored eyes, maybe a piercing or something.
Instead he looked like the son a mom would brag about being on the football team. Tan skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, if I had to take a guess his name is Chad.
A disappointment honestly.
...
How the fuck does he know who I am? 
How the fuck did he know I was here?
How the-
“hi….again” I say back.
He walked away to a car that was parked closest to the police station entrance and opened the door for me. I got in. Being a slasher has the perks of not worrying about your safety a lot.
He got in after and started driving.
“it’s honestly insulting that you got caught by a team that bad”
“they didn’t “catch” me. They just got a lucky lead and are trying to connect it with me. They had me there for four hours, and didn’t have a lick of proper evidence against me.”
He chuckled.
“……”
“..what? silent all of a sudden? You playing your “I have the right to remain silent” card with me?”
“ you sent in that lead…didn’t you?”
“…..”
I squinted at him in disgust. Even slashers can’t keep their fucking mouths shut.
“now, don’t get angry with me, pretty girl, let’s make a deal, hmm?” he smirked.
He mistakenly took my silence as an invitation to continue, but I wasn’t having it. I wasn’t listening to another word coming out of his mouth.
“the deal is quite simp-“
I opened the car door and jumped out. I landed hard on the pavement and got scratched up quite a bit, but nothing serious. It helps to have slasher plot armor. It’s quite hard to kill us.
I heard the car come to screeching stop, but he was already too late. I ran away, and got out of view.
I knew I’d see him again later. Just because the police were on to me didn’t mean I would stop killing, nor would I move to a different area.
Being a slasher is more work than it’s worth sometimes. 
-✨🥐anon (sorry for any typos! Forgot that I teased this to you and forgot about it, so I haven't really read this since.)
LOL when darling would rather jump out of the car than hear him out 😭😭
also the “it helps to have plot armour” line tooK ME OUTTHSHH i hope one day i can be a fraction as funny as your darlings are 💔💔
this is such a fantastic idea, and something new compared to the usual slasher x final girl trope yk?
thank you for sending this in! good stuff as always :)
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blackjackkent · 1 day
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Admittedly I haven't played Lae'zel origin (or any origin) yet so maybe this is already discussed in more detail there, but I am thinking this morning about the period of maybe twenty minutes between her escaping her pod and finding Tav and how absolutely mind-bogglingly terrifying a situation it is for her.
As many other posts have already pointed out - she is literally living out the single scenario she has been taught to fear above ALL others. And given the nature of mind flayer transformation she has no reason to believe that she will find anyone else on the ship in the same situation - as far as she knows, she is completely alone.
More than that, too... there doesn't seem to be a ton of specific information about how she got captured by the nautiloid in the first place, which leaves plenty of room for headcanon, but dialogue DOES make clear (ref. BG3 wiki) that this was her first actual encounter with ghaik; she had fought other monsters alongside others of her clutch but never an actual illithid.
Wyll: "Lae'zel - did you ever fight illithid creatures in your training days?" Lae'zel: "Never. The ghaik aboard the nautiloid was the first I ever witnessed in flesh." Wyll: "Really? I figured you would have joined your fellow gith in a colony raid." Lae'zel: "A young warrior is expected to fight their first ghaik with their cousins - kin hatched from the same clutch. The ones who triumph earn a place in githyanki society. The one's who don't, perish."
By all githyanki measures, it seems reasonable to assume, we are meeting Lae'zel on the heels of a spectacular moment of failure. She (and perhaps the rest of her clutch) made their first attempt at taking on illithids, in the hopes of obtaining heads that would allow them into the midst of githyanki society in the Astral Plane. They failed, for unspecified reasons which might have involved her or been entirely outside her control. The nautiloid sails on, travels to the material plane, begins a rampage of destruction.
But Lae'zel was not even given the comfort of a death in combat; she was captured, left to stew on her failure while being infected by a tadpole in what she assumes is complete isolation. This is not only a nightmare scenario for her people culturally, but for her personally - Lae'zel fears failure and insignificance far more than she fears death. And she is terribly young in spite of her air of absolute confidence; has she ever operated outside of the strict guidance of a superior before? Probably not.
It would be so easy to give up. But of course she doesn't, because she is Lae'zel and she's a fucking badass. But it must be such a dark night of the soul, those twenty minutes or so, believing that her only options are to give up and become ghaik or push on and handle the situation in complete isolation.
Small wonder she seems so (for her) delighted to realize that you are not a thrall but are in fact someone still in control of their faculties also. "Vlaakith blesses me this day. Together we might survive." She is no longer alone in this terrible situation. And small wonder she subtly defers to you, given the option.
It also explains why (to my recollection) her dialogue is never about trying to communicate with the githyanki circling the ship. One would assume that she would consider them allies (given that she seems quite surprised by how wary the Y'llek gith are towards her), but she doesn't even seem to consider it. She only talks about getting back to the material plane and off the ship.
Shame, perhaps? Not wanting her people to see this moment of what she considers ultimate failure?
Lae'zel's strength of character and determination are such a fundamental part of her character, but what really fascinates me is how much fear they must be covering up. Out of everyone in the group, she is the one most out of her depth, suffering the most terrifying change of circumstances imaginable, and yet she still keeps pressing forward no matter what.
TLDR: They should add an option to give Lae'zel a hug right there on the nautiloid bc goddamn does she need one.
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quietwingsinthesky · 11 days
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you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.
#it’s genuinely such a horrifying sixkening thing that they unveil. what was done to the master.#and it’s like. it’s so important that he is awful. he really is. but he still does not deserve to have had this done to him.#the drums are a tragedy that cannot. would not. be a punishment earned no matter how terrible he is.#they’re such a violation of his mind. isolating and constant and violent. and it drives me insane that this is just. in the show. okay cool#ill never be normal again.#they literally pulled his head open. during a ceremony that we. as far as i know. have to assume is not exactly voluntary. and is at the#best of times. already traumatic and horrifying. but they went into that moment and they put the drums in his head and they made him into#something repulsive to them. because they did that to him! in this thing alone the master had no agency and no way out and this thing that#was done *to* him is what makes him. to them. a broken thing now past its usefulness now that he’s done what they wanted him to.#sorry im rotating him in my head again and again. this is the thing that makes him ‘diseased’. it’s that they chose to do this to him. there#is nothing he could do to not be this. he was a child and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. he’s an adult and he’s#doing the impossible exactly like they shaped him to do and he can’t stop this from having happened to him. so he might as well follow the#drums. and then. and then rassilon calls him diseased. and im going to. lose it.#there was nothing he could have done…………..#everywhere else he has choices to make and he can burn the world and keep it as a toy and he can fuck with the doctor and he can do.#anything. anything he wants. but he can’t. there’s nothing he can do to make it stop. there’s nothing he can do to make it so this never#happened to him. and i am spinning in circles here do u see why he makes me insane.#and the doctor doesn’t even really fucking believe him that the drums are real until the master makes him listen……. oh im going to be ill.#doctor who#simm!master#the master
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tearlessrain · 6 months
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okay the way gods/the afterlife are handled in forgotten realms lore is bleak as fuck. like. the mortal realm basically being a prayer-powered generator and source of fodder for the gods to throw at each other in their constant conflicts and if you don't like that and refuse to participate, fuck you you're Going In The Wall. they may or may not be interested in helping you but you're still gonna have to pick one to grovel at if you don't want to spend your afterlife getting Pink Floyd-ed into oblivion and/or shanghaid into being a demon.
like. what the fuck. this is a dystopia and even dying won't get you out of it.
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lord-squiggletits · 4 hours
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"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.
One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority
#it's wrong on so many levels both in terms of lore and as well as like what the general themes of idw1 are#it's just a validation contest using the matrix as some magical symbol to decide who's the most special#which is ironically something that was a plot point in exrid/OP. specifically how stupid of an idea that is ldskjflksd#ppl revealing that they havent read anything besides mtmte/ll as usual#like half the reason ppl think optimus is a bad prime and rodimus is a good prime is literally bc like#optimus was written by an author who was specifically trying to deconstruct him (sometimes to the point of absurdity)#and rodimus was written by an author who takes a more optimistic/idealistic approach. and is also better at writing#but also like am i seriously the only person who thinks that that argument is fucked up?????#like 'OP felt pain which means he's unworthy/not a real prime/not a true leader'#ok so you think that there's a hierarchy of moral goodness in which anyone who falls short of that Moral Ideal should suffer#as a sign of their unworthiness?? like does that not sound dystopian as hell to any of you?? why would you WANT the matrix to work like tha#even if the theory were true (which it isn't) why would you view the matrix as a good authoritative moral judge of character#if its idea of 'moral judgement' is to inflict pain on anyone who's supposedly not truly good/worthy#wasn't the entire point of the ending of LL (including rodimus being a good leader) that everyone is worth it?#like rodimus literally said 'you ARE damn well good enough' or something like that#so what? everyone else in the universe tries their best and that's enough but somehow when OP suffers it's like#a sign that he's not actually a good prime/leader?? we're really going with the punitive perspective purely for One Guy??#swear to god ppl are projecting their authority issues onto Optimus the way they shit on him for things they would excuse#if any other character did it#Optimus is uniquely deserving of pain/being marked as unworthy bc idk he was a cop once and that offends my delicate sensibilities#what's even funnier is how much harm was inflicted by rodimus as a captain sheerly due to his stupidity or ego but everyone forgives him#i guess bc as long as the matrix likes him that means he's valid no matter what he actually does as a person#WHICH IS SOMETHING IDW ITSELF ARGUED AGAINST BC A LOT OF THE PRIMES THAT WERE CHOSEN BY THE MATRIX#WERE DICKS AND THE FACT THEY COULD WIELD THE MATRIX DIDN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE#like oh my god stop using the matrix as an arbiter of moral authority in idw1 it literally goes against the themes of the story#including the themes that are embodied in rodimus himself#idw op love
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running-in-the-dark · 23 days
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I know I've thought about this plenty of times before, but it really sucks being someone who likes things very intensely and defines themselves by their interests a lot, when you were/are always surrounded by people who do nothing but make fun of everything you like.
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musical-chick-13 · 2 months
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Cannot BELIEVE I had to have a conversation with someone where, after I complained about people Not Wanting To Write About Women, I then had to explain that yes, I DO write about men sometimes, actually; no I don't hate men; yes I write from the POV of the men in numerous cases and also analyze them.
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pantestudines · 4 months
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having a "former gifted kid" type mental spiral
#i say this because the spiral is actually about how much i hate the word and the general culture around giftedness#mostly because its incredibly inconsistent between schools so people often mean different things when they say it#but also because in my specific case its certainly not a gift but like. what am i supposed to call it.#its literally a neurodivergence in my case that has had many effect postive and negative on my life. but its also a school club.#and its also nothing! before the advent of like modern standardized public education i wouldve just been a curious kid#Without modern public education im not sure i wouldve even been different from other kids. maybe a little socially awkward still but idk#and like. Am i really different from other kids? am I now as an adult different from my peers? Occasionally i will get told as such#how the fuck am i suppose to talk about how much being seperated from my peers and held to higher standards sucked#when the name of the reason why this happened might as well be 'gods specialist little boy'#none of the things that make people think im smarter are really all that useful day to day. and most non-gifted people are like. still smar#i happen to be good at memorizing the kind of facts schools test you on as children#but is that just because i was told as a kid to be good at school and so i tried hard to do that?#even if I am uniquely good at that#does that really make me more intelligent than the high school dropouts who can fix cars like its nothing?#in fact i would say they are at least wiser than me for picking something practical to be smart at#at my school being gifted usually implied you were a little neurodivergent and bad at socializing#often our gifted kids were actually failing classes because they were smart enough to realize they didnt matter#(not me but still)#but at some schools being gifted just means you were an avid reader or were pressured by your parents to maintain perfect As at all times#so if i say. wanted to talk about how being 'gifted' has often made some aspects of academia like hating emails and having time blindness#and not having a good friend network and having many unadressed issues around not really knowing how to make friends#if i wanted to talk about that. and i say 'I was gifted growing up and this sucked'#the person on the other end might hear 'oh woe is me im so smart and this makes my life so hard'#AND FURTHER STILL#on tumblr especially 'former gifted kid' has kindve become parlance for 'guy whining about nothing'#or even 'person who they were told was smart but is actually kinda dumb'#which... yeah! theres a reason many former gifted kids are like that! thats kindve my issue with the program in the first place!#it takes otherwise relatively normal if well achieving kids and tells them they are gods specialist little children.#THIS CANNOT BE HELPFUL TO ANYONE? like whatever chance the kids had at seeming normal has been stripped away#and they now also think they are the smartest person in the room in every situation
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zefforuins · 10 months
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-/&;3;
#made myself mad thinking abt characters and things that don’t matter yet again#going to type my thoughts out here and then distract myself so I get over it LMAO#anyway. a heem heem#at the end of the day it does not matter. how people draw fictional characters. I can always find artists who draw them how I like and I do#but. because I am in a bad mood today. I just think that people who. draw Jason Todd like. really skinny. drives me insane#not necessarily just like the existence of it cause I am used to it but like when it’s him with other characters who are also skinny#I’m like hey why is he the same body type as his 17 year old brother?#and listen. Gotham knights Jason is not my favorite Jason#they fucked up his hair real bad. he looks older than he should according to when the game takes place. but whenever I see someone comment#on his build in the game?? I’m baffled. it’s pissing me off at this point tbh. like I’m sorry 1. not everyone is a size 0 just because you#find it hot. and 2. do you seriously expect. the character who’s whole think is being very strong. and beating people up nightly.#who’s fighting style is much heavier than his acrobat brothers style. to…be skinnier than said brother?#genuinely I think that gk Jason is generally how Jason SHOULD be built 99% of the time. like AK Jason and GK Jason. that’s peak#and it’s always ppl who like. when you look thru their art that body type is the ONLY body type they draw. and I’m like 🤨🤨🤨 is this like#bleeding into fatphobia territory now? not that gk Jason is fat because he VERY much isn’t. but they just draw character sooooooo skinny#as if their whole deal isn’t being physically strong!!!#atp I would rather every character look like 90s xtrme comics drawn by 40 yr old men where their arms are bigger than their heads and you#can see every muscle cause at least it makes somewhat more sense given their jobs ・_・ even tho it is ridiculous in its own way#my post#and it is my least fav comic art style LMAO#but anyways#nothing matters and I surround myself with love and light and I and the smartest person in the world who knows more about my favs than them#<3
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hypnowave · 1 year
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.
#mmm. mmmmm.#sometimes u wake up and shower and look in the mirror at your wide hips and narrow shoulders and u think#''damn this trans stuff is really delusional isn't it'' because no matter how hard you try you're never going to pass#because you can't get top surgery and can't get hormone therapy and can't safely learn to lower your voice#and you have a couple irls who know about your actual identity but you're certain they don't actually see you as male#except your sister and your best friend#you have a woman's body and a woman's voice and are living a woman's life and nothing you do seems to ever change that#it all feels so fucking pointless sometimes.#figures. one of my classmates presented her essay draft today and it was about whether or not being queer was nature or nurture#and it really hit a nerve. because people don't actually care which one it is. if it's nature then they will find this hypothetical gene#and they will purge it.#if it's nurture then they will do anything to stop the ''gay agenda'' because lgbtq+ behavior is deviant behavior and is therefore immoral#they would do anything to prevent us. we are an illness#i'm so tired. so fucking tired. i know i'm not male and i know i'll never be male and i wish i could just accept that#idk why i keep clinging to the notion that i am male . what's all this for?#i choose to carry this burden as if i'll get anything out of it. as if my time and energy wasn't needed elsewhere#my work. my final paper. my health. i'm so tired#i just wish i could stop caring.#jun.log#negative
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luxraydyne · 1 year
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pop quiz what breed of childhood trauma borne neuroticism is it called when being condescended to on just the most neutral, limpid, nothing thoughts you express like you’re a little silly child, or “out of your depth”, or woefully misinformed, or just speaking on something you shouldn’t cause fuckin hell you’re doing it *wrong*, and with the most plainly obvious remark too, makes you want to chew on your own arm until you reach bone marrow
#i hate internet discourse i hate internet discourse i loathe online Big Fandom it makes me come out in hives#i'm not stupid. i'm NOT stupid. i know this. i'm not being mean and nasty and bitchy either. just saying shit wrong.#siiigh i don't want to just stop making shit and like speaking. about stuff. on the internet. but like also. why would you?#there are exceptions (who i hope would recognise themselves if not i apologise) but largely i am more miserable#and more self destructive more regularly since stepping out of anonymity and engaging with people online#except animal crossing. like everyone i've interacted with through acnh has been. really Nice tbh. which is nuts lol#the stories you hear are almost universally bad and yet everyone i've chatted with albeit briefly has been so nice#i get anxiety over whether or not some stranger i'm never gonna meet thinks i'm an imbecile or not like how stupid is that? it's ridiculous#my self esteem has somehow gone backwards???#it don't fuckin matter! proving a relative nobody wrong and keeping her in her place don't matter! i mean it's daft but what's the point#and i know i need to internalise that i KNOW but damn it's hard#i want to just say fuck it and leave. become like a fandom esque zombie or whatever. but i also want autonomy over what i've produced now#unless i just delete all that too ig#but why should i!!#i go through this cycle every month it's like having an extra self-loathing hormone#if you're super attached to something w my username on it just download it for yourself you have my blessing give urself peace of mind lol#in principle i want to ghost and all of a sudden i'm am unperceivable and none of it's my damn problem any more lmao#but then i'm too bullish and prideful and egotistical so i'm like 'bbbut my seven tumblr followers who always like my silly text posts uwu'#i'm the dw in this scenario. the sign says 'just leave you're a nuisance' and i'm looking right at it like 'he he. no <3'#even if just doing what the signs says would definitely go some way to help with not wanting to just perish. or the arm chewing thing.#i just. simply. think. i would like to know. what it is i have done specifically#i know the answer is somewhere between nonexistent and nonsensical like it's not worth thinking about#what i've done is exist in a way that is arbitrarily deemed stupid/distasteful/ugly/deviant/noisy/irriating/etc it's irrelevant#and yet. there is a burning black void of needing to know in me. anon hate get into my dms tell me why you dislike me so#nothing is scarier. is the phraseology#like a game of wackamole with every utterance. is this one gonna get bapped with the hammer of 'you are so wrong'? why? does it matter?#who knows....it is a mystery......#i matter so little! i have 50 followers! two (2) ppl read the fanfic and thought it was 'aight! i don't matter! i am such a tiny fish!#what is even the point just leave me be no one cares!#i *could* redirect this hysterical existential horror energy into my original work. i *should* do that
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rosicheeks · 11 months
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Ooo okay that makes sense, but be carefull miss !
Was this the same spot that insatiable cumming happened in the back seat the other day? 🤭
Shhhhhh
#shushhhhhhhh#nothing happened the other day 🫣#but if you really wanna know/care#I have a few smoking spots#I have one during the day at a super cute park and my spot is super duper secluded#(that’s where I did uhhhh stuff the other day like you said 🤭)#but it fucking closes#I HATE that parks close#I get that it’s to try and prevent people like me from chilling there late at night#but like#why does it matter??? who am I hurting if I’m literally just sitting in my car and smoking????#idk man I find it so so so so so SO stupid#just so dumb#and then super late at night I usually park at a local grocery store#I just miss smoking in my bed or just inside in general#it was so nice and so so easy#especially in the morning??? when I didn’t feel like getting up or felt like the depression was winning?#I would just smoke a lil bit and I’d get some energy#but now? I’ve been sleeping in incrediblyyyy late cause I have no motivation or energy to get up (which trust me I know is sad)#and then when I finally have some chill time to ya know smoke and watch something or whatever I fall asleep 😭#it’s also funny the fact that I don’t have a big car like it’s a small tiny little car so I usually just curl up in the back#I miss my old car it was suuuuper big and I put my back seats down so I could make the back even bigger#and then I put a bunch of blankies and pillows back there#and I would hotbox with friends or just chill back there#that would be SO perfect right now but nooOoOoo now I have this tiny little car#don’t get me wrong I’m super duper grateful to even have a car but man oh man I miss my big car#ahhhhh so many memories in that guy#good times good times#ask#anon
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essektheylyss · 2 years
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Oh, and now there's a DRAGONLANCE book coming out??? But STILL NO PLANESCAPE??? @ WOTC DROP MULTIVERSE FROM YOUR MARKETING SCHEME RN OR GIVE ME A PLANAR MANUAL
#to be very clear this is a joke hence why it is not rebloggable#also I am being cajoled and heckled into just taking matters into my own hands 😔#and let me tell you. my will is fading with every new book announcement.#to be clear I don't know when the dragonlance book was announced I just happened to see it when I was checking out the one d&d playtesting#I just! would like some 5e sigil lore! and also if the spelljammer people got to yell for decades about spelljammer I do too#but this is also about my rage over corporate marketing schemes. I'm not against them but also make them make sense.#I KNOW the point is ~more settings~ but also planescape is like. the fabric between the settings. pls.#and also some of the great wheel cosmology from older editions sucks lorewise. so like. pls someone update it. I'm begging.#like that's really the struggle is that great wheel cosmology is veeeery alignment contingent and I would like to revisit that#and like I know different settings have different cosmologies but like.#there is an eberron npc IN rising from the last war who is labeled as 'jumped planes to sigil' like HELLO???#vi my fucking beloved#icon shit ngl.#but yeah like some of the lore is THERE ALREADY so my issue is that my only resource for that is older editions with shitty lore#and so is everyone else's#like it really comes down to the fact that they're updating the lore to be more accessible and inclusive and Not Shit but like#if connecting lore is still being referenced that hasn't been updated in twenty years... you're still directing people to that#so you kind of negated the point here
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starbuck · 1 year
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i’ve been procrastinating looking something up for my wip for so long that i’m this 👌🏻 close to just asking someone else to vibe check it for me so i don’t have to…
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