#so when i listen to the cover i'm like ''i want full context for this shit i know this Tree Motif means something More'' & it's been enough

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Cut Scene: Texas Campfire Scene

Partly in honour of today being the anniversary of Alex's speech, here's a ramble about another deleted scene: the Campfire scene

This promo still of the scene is the cover picture of the movie on prime

In the final cut of the movie, namely the released version that we got, we get the campfire scene as part of a montage in the speech, but unlike running through the V&A as the sun rises or the forest kiss, I don't think this scene was originally shot as a montage, but as a full scene that got cut for some reason

Henry's Instagram account posted a photo of him from that scene, and he credited Nora as the photographer, so I'm guessing Nora was in this scene. This also suggests that this is an ensemble scene, which might be part of the reason it was cut, but also means it would have been a longer scene, I'm guessing 2.5-4 minutes. (which, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) also Henry posted this the same time Alex posted a photos from the karaoke bar, so I think that counts as confirmation that the campfire is part of the Texas holiday

We don't actually have any context about this scene other than it's most likely part of the Texas holiday: Is this the equivalent scene of the gang in the books chilling when June plays the guitar and Henry and Alex make out (P256-257 of the original print, where "Alex is so in love that he can die" came from, and Holy fuck does Taylor bring that single line to life)? Are they having a barbecue? Or is this just a campfire? We don't actually know at all

Date wise I'm curious: the final release of the movie almost made it seem like it was literally two days: day 1: arrival -> volleyball -> hammock reading -> night at the bar ; day 2: conversation with dad -> Lake -> Henry runs away. Given the campfire is also a night scene, I think this means there's an extra day in the holiday sequence

I can't find the GIF for the montage used in this scene in the speech, but God I love that moment. It's almost like the reverse of the Paris pillow talk: this time Henry's talking about something he's passionate about, and Alex listens

Actually on that note, I wonder if that's the reason it was cut: maybe they tried out two different scenarios of Alex's "God I love him" epiphany, one here and one during the karaoke, and decided that the karaoke worked better for whatever reason. Just a guess, but either way I do really, really want to see this scene

I wonder what Henry/Nick is saying in the scene. He looks so happy talking about whatever it is. If I'm right about this being a full scene, then it's most likely scripted lines, but I could be wrong, which in that case, there's also the possibility of that being Nick ad-libbing in character or ... just Nick, which... is a whole other kind of ... wow. Either way, I really want to hear what he's saying

I swear sometimes I wanna grab Henry by the shoulders and shake him because HOW DID YOU NOT REALIZE HE LOVES YOU TOO??? Oh my God, Taylor's fucking performance, the man is drinking in every sight and sound of Henry like a man lost in a desert. He looks like he's two seconds away from proposing on the spot. I look at how Alex looks at Henry and I want to cry from the sheer amount of love there is in his eyes. What the fuck.

Although I'm confident that we're getting more content including deleted scenes in the future, even just from a studio profit perspective, I'm not confident in them releasing everything we want, and so here I am once again screaming for another deleted scene and a DVD with everything

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince #taylor zakhar perez #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #nicholas galitzine #rwrb thoughts #rwrb bts #rwrb behind the scene #rwrb deleted scenes #rwrb rambles #my rwrb list #i don't know how many more scenes I can make lists of #because we literally don't have context for so many of them #so damn it prime #dvd when

[grison-in-space]

Hi! I've just stumbled onto the dogblr side of Tumblr and it seems fascinating. Could you recommend any fundamental reading/watching material for people who want to start learning about dog training/behaviour/cognition? It would also be cool to hear about how you, personally, got into it if you're okay sharing- it seems like a niche field and I'm curious about what the journey might look like for different people. Thanks! ^.^

Oh, sure! Bear in mind that my particular path is, um, actually much weirder than most folks': the dog training with clients is a very new (and very part time) development in my professional life. In my full time job, I'm a postdoctoral associate in neuroscience working on motivation and decision-making in the context of animal behavior. And even for that, my career path has been bizarre: I started out in population genetics, did the PhD in behavioral ecology with a side of metabolic neuroendocrinology, and have now wound up in a NIH-oriented lab focusing on topics related to sex differences, neurodivergence and addiction.

It just occured to me that the dog training thing puts me squarely on the grounds of applied animal behavior research, which means that I've done it! I've poked into all the disciplines that can be described as Animal Behaviour and collected all the achievements! I really gotta reinvest in the Animal Behavior meeting, huh. Oh, wait, no: I'm forgetting behavior genetics, which is an area of strong interest I've poked around the edges of but never myself published in.

See, animal behavior as a formal study contains at least four different disciplines of study that really only loosely interact with one another. Behavioral ecology often appears in concert within ecology and evolution, and it focuses on the study of animals within their own natural context according to their own concerns and experiences. Neuroscience is typically thinking in terms of understanding the mechanism of the human brain, and behaviorism is similarly trained on the universal mechanisms of learning and behavior. Applied animal behavior involves studying how to most effectively, safely, and ethically manage animals in human care, including both domestic animals and captive wild ones; it also covers finding out how to teach animals to do complex but useful behaviors, like training working animals. Neuroendocrinology involves studying how hormones effect changes in the brain and body: metabolic hormones, stress hormones, sex hormones, the works. Behavior genetics (and epigenetics) include studying the effects of genetic variation on behavior itself.

It's certainly not uncommon for people to jump fields once or twice, or to straddle an intersection of approaches over their careers. It's.... less usual to bounce around one's career to quite this extent, which I attribute to the fact that a) I have quite a bit of fairly obvious ADHD, b) I've never worked for anyone who hasn't had their own case bedeviling our focus, and c) I graduated directly into COVID, which meant that I had to figure out a solution on the fly when all the positions I had intended to cultivate dried up overnight.

Not that I'm bitter.

As for how I got into the dog training gig, essentially I like dog training, I really like this outfit, and I have some credit card debt I would really like to pay down. I wanted to meet and talk to more dog folks in the area and I also really missed teaching—I taught every spring and fall through my 8yr PhD, I'm good at it, and I really enjoy it. Since I've respected (almost) every instructor I've had through this outfit, and the one exception involved being listened to immediately about my concerns and increased supervision in response, and I knew that one of my instructors worked part time with them, I figured it might be a neat side gig. So far, that's been bourne out.

I also do have some longer term plans to do some behavioral genetics and neuroscience work on dogs, and I would like to incorporate some noninvasive experiments that use dogs from the general public. My facility also has a robust doggy daycare program and it'd be rad to work with them to build opportunities for everyone in a few years. I'm hoping to leverage a permanent tenure track job at my institution over it, but I might go in several directions from here. Predicting the direction of my career has been a losing proposition so far, so let's see what seems good at the time and stick around as long as I'm having fun.

As for how I got into dogs and dog behavior specifically? In addition to the ADHD, I'm autistic enough to have been diagnosed as a tween girl in the 00s, and my special interests never quite leave —they just flare up and simmer down in long periods over my life. Dogs are the first and earliest of these; my parents told me that they'd seen me gravitating towards the family Lhasa from pretty much the moment I could roll over on my belly. That seems about right. Dogs have been my gateway to huge corridors of my intellectual world, and dog training specifically have been a hobby for some time. In addition to my training gig, I'm experimenting with functional service tasks to support me as burnout and neurodivergence have limited my capacity.

Books and reading recs I'll try to get to later, mm falling asleep right now.

#dog training #career #day job #dogblr

[shadowetienne]

OnlyOneOf "give me the lOve, bitxx" Lyrical and Thematic Analysis

OK, so, I have a lot of thoughts about this one! I think that there are several ways to interpret it! So some notes before you start reading:

I am looking at this through a queer lens, if you want to do a non queer reading, good for you, that's not what I'm discussing here

Some of my interpretations are going to go multiple potential ways, and this isn't an essay I'm writing for school or actual publication, so I may leave some trailing thoughts or slightly stream of consciousness style explanations

I am fascinated by the lyrical structure of this song, so bear with the fact that I'm going to babble about that a bit before I dive into the details of lyrics/meanings.

If you've not listened to the song in full yet, here's the official version:

And here is the wonderful translation done by Imbabey on YouTube that I used for reference:

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this song! It's fascinating to me, and I think that it's a really important part of the lyrical story of the album as a whole!

This is about to get really long, so the rest is under the cut:

SONG/LYRICAL STRUCTURE

So, I'm going to start out with talking about the construction of this song because I think that it's really interesting! We start and end the song with the chorus, and it repeats a total of 4 times within the song. That chorus takes up about half of the entire song! It's important and we should be paying attention to it.

We also have a 2 part Prechorus that repeats twice (before the 2nd and 3rd version of the Chorus) with the very first line of it changed each time. This is interesting in part because that's more repeated lyrics taking up a lot of the song, but that also points to that changed starting lyric as being super important!

Then we have our three other Verses: Verse 1 is short (only 4 lines), Verse 2 is longer with some rap and builds up to the development, and Verse 3 acts as the Bridge into the final chorus and has a really different sound to it. Verse 3/Bridge is also quite short (only 4 lines). So little of the total song is in these storytelling verses, but a lot happens!

THEMATIC CONNECTIONS

I will talk about more of these later, after I dig into the lyrics more specifically, but I want to reference a few songs that I will bring up in thinking about this one.

First off is actually one of their covers, KB and Junji's cover of "Heather":

While this song is a very different angle, like "give me the lOve, bitxx" I feel like it deals with the issues with dealing with being queer in a society that does not want you to be, and how that can build resentment. OnlyOneOf is very thoughtful in how they pick their covers, especially the ones that they make fancy videos for, so I think that they are a lens that we can think about their own discography from. This was actually one of the things that I thought of right away when I got the full lyrics for "give me the lOve, bitxx" so it's worth having it in mind when reading the rest of my analysis.

Another older song of theirs with an MV that I want us to look back at for the context of this song is "angel":

I am considering this song specifically as a lens of how heteronormativity creates a narrative of how people need to react/act in society, and how that can lead to overcompensation, and also sometimes some pretty obsessive patterns (doing relationships right, having the right appearance of interest even if there is not actual interest). Obviously, "angel" is a song with many different interpretations, and I've considered writing something longer form about it, but again, remember that right now, this is a reading through the queer lens. This is a song and MV that I've got in my head as context for "give me the lOve, bitxx" so I want to make sure it's fresh for you as well.

Important note to carry with you in this echo of "angel" in the interpretation: In "angel" the narrator has idealized the idea of this girl, of the perfect straight relationship that will make him fit in society (again I know, among other things). In "give me the lOve, bitxx" he has that relationship, and it hasn't fixed things for him. He still doesn't fit, and in fact kind of seems to feel even worse.

I think that there are themes present in a lot of their songs that are echoed here, but those are the two big lenses that I wanted to bring up before we get into the thick of things.

OTHER OVERARCHING THEMATIC THOUGHTS

We're almost to talking about the lyrics, I promise. But there's a big thing that I want to discuss here that leads to two very different readings of the song.

I think that one possible reading of this song involves the narrator addressing two separate love interests: a guy who he has had his first taste of queer attraction and love with recently and the girl who he has been dating in an attempt to feel "correct" in society.

I will be addressing this potential second person I think getting talked to in a few places in the song, but also try to reference what I think the interpretation would be if these parts are addressed to the girl or not.

THE CHORUS

Don't make me pull the trigger [girl*] Once you know more you'll get hurt Don't come near Maybe I could be dangerous Give me your treasure [what] What's there to laugh at? Oh I can't hear anything right now, freeze

*I have added the two adlibbed words that I caught from what the translation above has transcribed in brackets. However, the first adlib "girl" only appears in Choruses 1-3 and is omitted in the final Chorus.

These lyrics are aggressive, and kind of nasty towards the girl. They are reminiscent of a hold up, an attack, but also a threat to end a relationship ("pulling the trigger" on something to end it). Whatever the case, there is some threat involved in these lyrics. The narrator views himself, or on some level wants to be viewed, as "dangerous." He also seems to want the end to the current relationship, at the same time, he wants to just ignore everything and have things stay where they are and "freeze."

He doesn't think he's good for the girl, he doesn't really think that he's good for himself here. There's a certain amount of hopelessness in this chorus. He's got this whole persona, this "bad boy" image too, and that definitely makes me think of overcompensation. A lot of times, queer people will make the decision to lean really far into heteronormativity to protect themselves, and this bad boy vibe that the narrator has going definitely leads into that.

I think that it is really interesting that the "girl" adlib drops for the final chorus. If the male partner is also being addressed, by dropping the girl from the chorus at the end, it can also be interpreted that what is bringing up these feelings of needing to end the conventional heteronormative relationship is the new relationship with the male partner that has made the narrator realize that this current relationship is creating something dangerous for him, and he can't get the love that he wants in it (and that he actually does want love that is not socially expected/accepted).

THE PRECHORUSES

The first line of the prechorus is the only line that changes between the two. In the first prechorus it is:

It kind of bothers me.

And in the second prechorus it is:

It feels kind of weird.

I think that this change in the lyrics is leading into the feeling that the narrator is figuring out what he wants over the course of the song. It's changed from being something annoying without really having a clear direction of that, to feeling weird or uncomfortable to what the narrator wants.

I've divided the prechorus into two parts in my mind at least. After that first line, the rest of the prechorus goes:

What the hell do you want from me baby? Foreign personality, style Somehow I'm injurious, so dangerous.

I feel like this really draws in the idea of the narrator feeling like he doesn't fit the expectations of society and how he should behave in it. He doesn't know what his partner wants from him, he feels "foreign" and "injurious" in his roles and interactions.

This version of him talking about being "dangerous" also feels much more confused, like he's been told that the way he is would make him "dangerous." That word "Somehow" carries a lot of weight in this. He feels conflicted about it.

We follow this into the second half of the prechorus, which is unchanged between the two:

When you hug me tight from behind I feel broken, I can't explain it Love Don't come near, no way

This set of lines actually really interests me because I feel like it could be absolutely addressed to both or either of the girlfriend and the male partner.

One of those big queer experiences that a lot of us have been through is feeling broken and wanting to hide from it. In the narrator's heteronormative relationship that should make him fit, he's not enjoying these experiences and doesn't want them, and that makes him "feel broken."

But at the same time, if addressed to the male partner, when he experiences these sorts of things, he does enjoy them, and that potentially scares him just as much. He doesn't want to let the male partner near because that experience feeling right makes him "feel broken" by society that has said that it's not an OK way for him to feel.

So either here, he's telling the girl he's been dating as overcompensation to get away from him and leave him alone because he's not feeling it, or he's telling the guy that he's into and struggling against the feeling to stay away because the very possibility of that makes him feel weird and scared and he doesn't know what to do with it.

VERSE 1

This is the verse that gave me the idea of the song being addressed to two different people! It's actually the set of lyrics that initially made me think, oh huh, this sounds like it might be addressed to the guy that he's been thinking of. Especially in the narrative succession to "dOpamine" where he's got some obsession going on. I think that it can be read as addressed to either though.

I think of your face all day long I look strange to myself I can't think about anything else Why do you keep getting stuck in my head?

If this is addressed to the male love interest, it makes a lot of sense that the narrator is sitting there going: I have this "perfect" in the eyes of society relationship, one that I should be so happy with, but all I can think about is this guy that I'm into. Why can't I leave it alone?

On the other hand, if this is addressed to the girlfriend, it can also read as trying to force himself into the right way of thinking about his relationship. And because of it looking "strange" (weird, uncomfortable, not right) to himself. He's getting "stuck" on this idea, and not getting anywhere with it. He can't get that sort of love he wants in the relationship he has, and he's uncomfortable with that.

VERSE 2 (the long verse)

Like with the prechorus, I see this as being divided into two parts. This verse is rap heavier, and it really feels like a lot of the development of the feelings and understanding of his feelings that the narrator has.

Why are you so clingy anytime I see you? I'm speaking, but you cover my mouth Yeah, because of you Again, seeing my sudden bewildered expression makes her stop her words

This is actually another section that I think can be addressed to either partner! And maybe the "her" in the final line of this part of the verse is a translation artifact that I'm reading too much into, but it does make me think, is "her" different from "you" here.

If this is addressed to the girlfriend, it reads as really just not actually wanting the relationship, as feeling silenced from his actual feelings by the demands of society represented in the girlfriend and the fact that he feels the need to have a girlfriend to compensate, and that's starting to really grate on him now that he has seen/experienced another option. It implies that the girlfriend is starting to see the cracks in their relationship and know that something is wrong, maybe she's even trying to make space for him to say something, and he's not saying it.

If this is addressed to the male love interest, it's a really different vibe. It's the questions of: Why are you risking showing this in public? Why are you stopping me from talking? Why are you both showing this so much and trying to keep me from actually talking about it? In this reading, the girlfriend is noticing whatever is going on between the narrator and the male love interest, but maybe doesn't know what to say about it or if there is anything to say.

The second part of this verse is much more focused on the internal feelings of the narrator as opposed to the interaction with others.

I hide my feelings, thinking of each other I close my eyes Well I gotta play dumb, making it pump, sick of it numb, pick up the phone Relax now (Boogie on and boogie on)

So this part of the song is definitely at least in part about sex and intimacy between partners. Who is the "each other" here? Well, I think that it can be the narrator and the girlfriend, where he's closing his eyes to hide from himself and his lack of actual interest. It could also be the male love interest where he's closing his eyes when with the girlfriend to better imagine what he actually wants and his fighting himself over.

I find the part "pick up the phone" really interesting. He's having this unfulfilling experience in the relationship that he's supposed to want, the one that is supposed to be perfect for him in the eyes of society, so he's reaching for his virtual world that lets him get away from that (and where I suspect he can contact the male love interest, or at least see things about him). He's relaxing by getting away from what is supposed to be his important intimate relationship.

VERSE 3 / BRIDGE

There is a big change in tone with this verse, and I think that this is where the narrator accepts what he is feeling, and that he doesn't actually want to be with the girl, he doesn't want what society thinks that he should want. He's still conflicted and scared, actually maybe more scared, but he's starting to realize. I think that that's part of why the "girl" adlib then proceeds to be dropped in the final chorus that comes after it.

Tasty like a raindrop, oh my I can't get used to it at all You know what? Actually I'm afraid you will leave Give me a chance to kill my doubt

I think that the first half of this verse is referring to his experience of queer intimacy with male love interest, the first time he's actually enjoyed it, and referring back to "dOpamine" that "thirst" that he's experiencing (with the "raindrop" lyric).

The second half is another one of those things where it could be addressed to either the girlfriend or the male love interest.

If it's addressed to the girlfriend, even though he's realized what he actually wants, the fact that it goes against the directives of society, and what he feels like he should want, he just wants that one more chance to see if maybe it could work with the girlfriend, that he is scared of what is past this relationship that isn't fulfilling but is at least safe.

If it's addressed to the male love interest, I get the impression that there's an element of the male love interest having basically said "look make a decision," and the narrator has been hesitating. Not feeling safe. And now he's saying, wait I'm more afraid of the idea of not having a chance with you and something that actually feels right than I am of leaving my safe by social standards relationship. Give me one last chance to taste this possibility and make myself sure before I jump into this relationship that feels dangerous but fulfilling.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Whoever the song is addressed to ("you"), the narrator has very much built up feelings of resentment towards social expectations and the girlfriend that he has put those social expectations on.

He's sort of billed himself as dangerous because of how society views what he has realized about himself. He knows he isn't being good to himself, he's not being good to the girlfriend, he's hurting everything in his path because social expectations are weighing down on him and telling him he's awful and hurting him.

A big part of the song is him kind of breaking under that, realizing that he can't keep going the way he is going, but struggling to make that final decision to leave and actually face his queerness and the possibilities that exist in it.

#OnlyOneOf #give me the love bitxx Analysis #Things I Can't Say LOve album #I don't think that I realized just how much I had to say about this song until I started saying it #I feel like I'm leaving things out still too #I'd love to hear your thoughts about it too! #Youtube

[constantinerkives]

Unholy Matrimony, YJM (teaser)

PAIRING: GP Demon! Karina Yoo x human! Fem reader

WARNINGS: College AU, YJM is a daughter of the big guy downstairs, violinist Y/N, mentions classical music and artists, dem*nic ritual via summoning one through classical music, and future mature themes in the next scenes.

SYNOPSIS: Who knew a preserved, unpublished songbook will score you a devilishly gorgeous wife? Devilish - see the context clue? Yep! She's a devil! And a powerful one too. With your perfect execution of her song, you are therefore bound to her for eternity.

A/N: This is my first AESPA fic hehe, please be kind🥹

THIS IS ALL FICTITIOUS AND THEREFORE SHALL NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

"You did so well," Says a cold, cutting, and distorted feminine voice. 

You can only stand there, rooted to your spot, as you try to make sense of what's happening around you. You're inside a victorian home, the walls covered in red velvet wallpaper, orange hues of fluorescent lighting, and intricately carved furniture. And despite the warm tones, the house is devoid of warmth. Utterly cold, just like the voice you heard. 

"Who's there!" You stupidly inquire, and the voice chuckles. 

"My," She mused, "My spouse doesn't recognize me?" There's a pause, "Allow me to introduce myself, pretty girl." The lights flicker, and the house shakes, forcing you to scramble around for support before it finally stops. 

There she was, sitting cross-legged on the settee, wearing an all-black double-breasted pantsuit and pointed black heels. Her hair was tied in a sleek ponytail. The woman possessed a unique beauty that you'd never seen until now, a face shaped like a snake, sharp eyes, an upturned nose, and plump, pink lips. She could've passed as a gorgeous woman if something wasn't odd about her. 

It's the eyes and her sharp set of teeth.

Eyes that possessed shades of black with her pupils colored in rich ichor. You have an uneasy feeling that you've seen them before. And as if reading your mind, her lips curl into a cold smile. 

"Familiar, isn't it?"

"Who are you?" You stammered, and she tilted her head to the side. "You don't know me?"

"That's why I'm asking!" You snapped, feeling uneasy and aggravated with confusion. Her unique eyes twinkled with danger, "Easy, darling. That's not a tone you'd like to use with your wife now, won't you?"

Your stomach drops, "W-what?"

She grins, exposing her sharp canines. "Full of surprises, aren't you?"

She stands up, and you instinctively step back, unnerved and unsafe. The black-haired figure closes her eyes and inhales softly. "Ah, fear - are you afraid of me, sweetheart?"

You ground your jaw as you glare at her. She clicks her tongue and takes slow steps toward you, and your gut churns. "Get back! Don't you dare come any closer!"

She doesn't listen until she cages you with her body while you stand there, stiff and rigid, while her pale, cold hands grab you by the hips and flush her body against yours. You held your breath and turned away from her direction as her cold breath fans your right cheek. You can smell her scent, and it resembles those subtle but expensive perfumes you see in department stores; marigold, violet, cedarwood, and vetiver with hints of smoke. 

Intoxicating

You let out a pathetic whimper when her lips brush against the skin of your cheeks, and her cold breath fans your ears, whispering:

"Look at me, darling." 

And for some reason, your body obeys, earning you a satisfied purr. "Good girl," She husks as you timidly look at her. "What do you want from me?" You gruffly inquire, and she grins. "Feisty, I like it."

"Well," She continues, "I'd like to make it clear, pretty girl." Her other arm traverses upwards to your back and your neck. Gasping softly as her blunt nails dig against the skin of your neck. 

"You are mine, as I am yours." She lowers her head and inhales the scent that's around your neck. "You summoned me, and I answered."

"I'm Karina," She rasps as her other hand grabs your jaw, eyes darkening as they dart from your features down to your lips. 

"Do remember that, my bride."

Read the full part here🫶

#karina x reader #aespa #aespa karina #female reader #gxglesbianlgbt #wlw #kpop imagines #girl group #ggroup kpop #aespa x reader

[coldresolve]

Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: [email protected]

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

#other #slight self doxx ig #idec ill post my bare ass for testosterone #do rb if u want but also no pressure. i want this whole thing to be on a want-to only basis alright

[yoinkschief]

I have to talk about this because the Glass Animals How To Be A Human Being album is one of my special interests that album is so cool you guys don't understand please

The album features 11 songs, each one corresponding to one of the people on the album's cover(s), each one telling a story about that person

I bring this up as context as to why, even though everyone in this community makes memes about it, Pork Soda is THE TomTord song, and here's why:

Pork Soda corresponds to the old man with a paddy cap and glasses in the back of the album to the left of the basket ball player, and as such it's sung from his perspective

The song is about two lovers who fell in love with each other because of their spontaneous nature,

Somewhere in South End when you were fun You took my hand and you made me run Up past the prison to the seafront You climbed the cliff edge and took the plunge

However, this song is sung from the future(ish?), it's the old man yearning for the days when he and his lover were younger and full of sporadic energy, for when they would just pick up stuff suddenly and leave off on some crazy adventure,

Why can't we laugh now like we did then? How come I see you and ache instead? How come you only look pleased in bed? Let's climb the cliff edge and jump again

This is further pushed by the song's official music video where it shows a literal divide between the two lovers, living different lives as they live on completely separate floors of the house

The old man is portrayed as bitter and its suggested this song is him complaining about how his life isn't what it used to be to the listener, as he sits in his living room watching TV and doing pretty much nothing with himself, stuck in a constant loop of disappointment and resentment

Versus the wife who's seen with a dog that she's trying to get joy out of having, she tries to keep having a spontaneous life and do fun things to keep that spark in her going, seen with her dancing with the dog in the floor above the old man

I think this is great symbolism honestly, and it suggests the old man is to blame for this lack of spontaneousness in their love life anymore

Furthermore this is perfect for TomTord, more specifically, imo, enemies/friend to lovers to enemies WTFuture TomTord, although The End was also pretty good I think it would've worked better if it was pre Tord leaving and then Tord coming back, as that gives similar vibes yk?

It's perfect for them and I know this song is everyone's personal hell in this fandom and I understand why but you NEED to realize this is THEIR song

Along with songs like I Love You Like An Alcoholic and The Masochism Tango, the list goes on

I can make a list

I have two separate playlists for TomTord you don't understand how much I love songs

Extra information I know about this song that's cool to me:

Glass Animals got inspired to write this song after they met a girl (at a concert I believe?) with a tattoo on her arm that simply said "Pork Soda", and when they asked her why she got such a random string of words tattoo like that she said "cause I wanted to", thus inspiring them to make a song about spontaneousness

HOWEVER

I know the reason she got that tattoo and why she said that she is so funny to me

She got that tattoo because there's actually a second Pork Soda, a band album: Primus' Pork Soda album, which is, I'm sure, why she got the tattoo because that album probably meant a lot to her

Thus making her answer "because I wanted to" seem like the generic answer every person who has a tattoo answers with because everyone always asks "why did you get that tattoo" or belittle them for the tattoo "not having meaning", etc.

Just a silly addition I thought I'd add to this because I love this album so much please ask me about the other songs I know about all of them

#jay talk #eddsworld #ew #ew tord #ew tom #tord #tom #tomtord / tordtom #pork soda #songs #albums #glass animals #how to be a human being album

[jitterbugjive]

I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.

especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)

It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.

Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.

I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.

People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".

Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?

I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.

I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.

I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person

And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter

I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.

And I don't know if this will ever go away

I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.

I hate this shit so much.

#vent #drama #sorry #apology

[firstdivisiongirl]

OH MY GAH HIIII !! I SAW THAT YOU DO MATCHUPS SO I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD A REQ FOR THAT BUT W TOKREV CHARACTERS ??? :DDDD i dont mind anyone tbh so dw abt choosing :33

ok i'll just drop some background info abt myself here :33

i'm aromantic + nonbinary, i am an entp 7w6 and i'm a pisces !! i like to draw, listen to music (either metal or just mainstream music i listen to whatever atp) and dance in my freetime !! :3

based on my personality ::

my friends tend to tell me that i'm the embodiment of the quote "dont judge a book by its' cover" cuz on the outside i act like a full on metalhead and really passive aggressive but at home i sleep next to a whole tower of plushies 💀🙏 and i collect stickers of silly little cats and otters (not my fault that they're so cute oml) i'm usually the clown of the group !! i tend to be hyperactive but my emotions change a lot- one second talking to me is like trying to get a toddler to pay attention to your teacher and the other is like trying not to get bitten by a rabid dog (my friend's words not mine). i tend to be a loud mouth srry . . . i do try to be quiet if necessary but if i get excited when talking i am a walking speaker . . . i get rlly excited if my favorite things are mentioned ?! like i would get rlly happy, smiley and would talk about it until i forget to breathe !! i like to consume horror media ?? idk if i can say that without sounding like an edgelord sobsob im sorry . . . i just love consuming those types of media (as a former kid w unsupervised access to the internet-) and i tend to ramble abt them along w other philosophical topics !! i like to discuss abt meaning of life, whether there are other universes, abt the capabilities of the human mind, etc. they're just so interesting!!! :] i guess im proud to say that my best trait is my humor 😋 maybe im overconfident abt this one cuz i just have pretty dumb sense of humor if im being honest frfr i tend to say things out of context . . . i like terrorizing my friends by saying the most outrageous things and overexaggerating them for the fun of it :333 though sometimes i kinda mean what i say

for my ideal partner ::

i'd say i would like someone who's fun to be around but at the same time they gotta be interesting for me to find them fun . . . like they gonna have smth to them that makes me wanna observe them like they're a lab rat being experimented on and being put under observation :33 ppl like that make me wanna see whats inside them and how they see the world around them !! i just love those kinds of ppl aaaaa ik im overdramatic for this one but like . . . i need someone who can handle me- as in my emotions and sometimes my way of loving . . . cuz if i did love someone, i would obsess over them and would dream of dying w them out of euphoria cuz being w my partner is the only thing that keeps me alive and human 😞 i wanna feel genuine happiness and pure bliss w my partner so thats why after that i think we should die together, that way we both know that finally we lived our life to the fullest (in my pov, 'the fullest' means you finally reach the climax of ur happiness/u live to the moment where you're the happiest you've ever been) (idk if that makes sense but that has always been my fantasy LAWD IM RAMBLING) need someone whos as crazy as i am :333 if he aint insane i dont want him fr i need to make him worse /j

i think thats all abt me :333 pls take ur time and make sure to put urself first btw !! aside from that, its ok if you ignore this one cuz at the end of the day its up to u <333 have a wonderful day/night mwah you're super cool

Hello! Of course you can have a matchup. Thank you for the kindness. I would like to warn you that I picked a somewhat controversial character. I hope you like it!

You Got...

Tetta Kisaki!!!

If boy can handle the chaos the is Shuji Hanma, he can handle you!

You wanted crazy...

Would love to see you smile when you get super excited about something! His favorite thing is to see the person he loves happy.

He is really really smart. So you would have very intellectual and philosophical discussions.

Would love that you aren't all you seem. Because he is the same way. You two can be badasses when out, but totally different when it is just the two of you (and Hanma sometimes when he is being Hanma and not leaving you all alone.)

Movie date nights. He'd let you pick it. If you're happy, he's happy.

#first division girl #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tr matchups #tr matchup #tokyo rev matchup #tokyo rev matchups #character matchup #tokyo revengers matchups #tokyo revengers matchup

[reborrowing]

I've seen other folks make a reference post to how borrowers work in their fiction so here's some random worldbuilding I've done with mine

There's not one universal culture, this varies by community, which can be as small as an individual family or be spread throughout a neighborhood. Communities tend to ally through loose trade networks that at least share a language, if not cultural norms.

The distinction between borrowing and theft is rooted in the idea of taking from surplus/excess. Finer nuances vary by community, but the concept is true whether taking from humans or from each other. There's usually an implication of reciprocity, that you would surrender your excess if someone else has use for it.

I'm a little wishy-washy for the actual size range, but my named ocs range from 3.5" (Kiwi) to 4.3" (Ben).

Senses differ from their human counterparts. They have a wider range of hearing, more sensitive sense of smell, weaker distance vision (but stronger night vision), and lack the degree of tactile sensitivity found in human fingers (which is why they don't have fingerprints, definitely not just because I wanted another reason for Hand Awe)

Most borrowers are colorblind. It's not unheard of to have the red-green distinction, but it's unusual enough that a lot of communities have superstitions around those who do, ranging from "psychic in a blessed way" to "probably gives good advice sometimes" to "probably can see ghosts" to "psychic in a cursed way"

An almost forgotten biological feat by modern indoor borrowers, they go into torpor when the temperature drops too low. Outdoor dwellers are well aware of this fact and factor it into their survival strategies—a frigid but hidden shelter is more appealing than somewhere warm but with a high risk of exposure, even if the latter is more comfortable. (Though of course, hidden and warm is ideal)

Borrowers have long, relatively dexterous toes that can aid in climbing, especially when un-shoed. It tends to be an individual choice to prefer the warmth and protection of full shoes or the dexterity of bare feet/foot wraps. (Everyone is clumsy and uncomfortable when forced to change their footwear habits)

Prolonged eye contact is an intimate gesture, something only to engage in with close friends, family, or lovers and often only when expressing or listening to someone express deep emotion. Lingering eye contact outside that context of closeness is seen as invasive or aggressive and definitely rude

Nipping is a common gesture of affection and excitement, lingering from childhood play instincts and almost never translates quite right across species

Coincidentally, baby teeth canines are significantly duller than the adult fangs that replace them.

Adult fur pattern varies, but typically covers at least the lower half of each limb. Fur along the back and outer sides of the upper limbs is very common. Chest and facial hair is less common, but evenly likely across the two sexes.

Young children, however, are fuzzy all over.

Borrowers require more sleep than humans do, with a healthy individual hitting at least 8-10 hours in a 24 hour period, but not all at once. Most keep biphasic or polyphasic schedules. Winter torpor is the only time long sleep periods are "normal"

There's no strong biological preference for being nocturnal or diurnal, instead people tend to follow whatever schedule they were raised on.

Yelling and screaming are considered inappropriate, animalistic behaviors. It would be like literally growling at someone. Strong anger is expressed through hissing, pain and fear are expressed through squeals and chittering. (And body language, naturally)

Tails are semi-prehensile and used for balance and body language communication. They're technically dexterous enough to wrap around and grab things, but the limb is pretty weak and injures easily when made to pull any weight. Like with rodents, tails are prone to degloving if pulled. Long tails are seen as an attractive feature because they're are so easy to deform or lose, so keeping a long one intact suggests someone is capable of avoiding danger altogether.

Purr purr purr, like cats, borrowers purr to express joy or as an attempt to self-soothe. In most communities, it's seen as kind of childish in public but still encouraged and enjoyed during positive physical interactions. Someone who purrs in their sleep is often seen as blessed by [insert community's higher power here]

#g/t #giant/tiny #borrowers #someday ill proofread posts before posting so i dont have to come back and edit later #lore post

[pickypickypeak]

thoughts on wish. (spoilers below)

just a nice, harmless, old-fashioned disney movie. not disney's best by far, but far far FAR from bad

animation was good. full stop

the soundtrack. julia michaels is an amazing songwriter and I feel like her style gives this movie soundtrack a very unique vibe among disney classics. maybe she went just a little too pop-ish in some parts that required more broadway styled tunes and lyrics

loved the introduction with the classic disney book

some critic said the disney easter eggs and references were distracting or like,, they were trying to cover up a bad plot with easter eggs for fanservice. well not true lol. I don’t consider bambi’s mom blink and miss cameo as fanservice I consider it childhood trauma coming back. where’s the fanservice in it

people from all over the world coming to rosas. liked that

“welcome to rosas” was okay I just wonder if she does this for any person coming to rosas. like. like it’s a job? she’s getting paid?

asha is a nice character, despite falling a bit under the "adorkable" main girl stereotype. I still feel like she's well characterized, she is stubborn, selfless and will do anything for her family. stan

valentino's not annoying as you'd think

asha's friends are so cool please I love them all so much HOWEVER some of their lines felt a little flat?? they could have been WAY more fun easily I just wish they had more screen time

gabo is wasted potential you can't tell me otherwise

dahlia was literally nerfed you know that

I love that they picked simon to be the depressed one (he’s meant to represent sleepy from seven dwarfs)

bazeema randomly disappearing because she's an introvert she's so right we do that sometimes

I've seen people complaining about disney being politically correct (as always...) for finally making a movie with a classic villain and then making him redeemable, well he's not?? movie ends up bad for him just like with old villains?? this is literally what we’ve been asking for, a villain who is just a villain. king magnifico has motivations of course but still does bad things and gets punishment for that. classic old school disney villain. don’t know what you want

queen amaya, my love whom I owe my life, marry me

“at all costs” listen. this felt a little out of place. that’s because they apparently changed the context to the song. it was supposed to be a love duet between asha and a scrapped human version of star who was like. a jack frost-y character who fell in love with asha. in the final movie, asha and magnifico are singing to the wishes. it still kinda works, but I really wish we got to see the other way round. looks like they really didn’t want to go full classic love story route, but it’s a shame. I’m sure that would have been beautiful and very very disney. the demo version sung by julia michaels and benjamin rice gives you a glimpse of what might have been and it’s just so good, you should really listen to it

actually listen to all the song demos

that one lady screaming in the crowd I forgot her name but shout out to her

asha's family was there

her grandfather turning 100 just like disney and wishing to inspire people and then composing when you wish upon a star after the credits?? so what??? this man is disney???? wtf????? crying

“this wish” bop. next

star’s not annoying as you’d think

the animals were cute john the bear my beloved also the mushrooms please

“I’m a star” actually empowered me okay!!! you know what that squirrel is fucking right we are fucking stars!!!!

“thank you for not eating me john” “you’re welcome bambi” that was wild

breakdancing chickens and it didn’t feel cringe. a miracle perhaps

asha��s friends are so normal about star

simon being sad about making star sad… certified good guy

did I mention I wish we got more of asha’s friends

anyway why does star only grant the animals’ wishes. why do all animals just wish they can talk human

I'm thinking screaming lady's name was sania maybe??

“this is the thanks I get?!” is the perfect song for magnifico. way more in character than “at all costs”

magnifico coming to asha’s house was scary

asha really can swim is she also moana or smth

simon betraying her broke me. never trusting a himbo again

“knowing what I know now” instant bop. please all of them singing together about magnifico being a bastard? queen amaya suddenly entering the room and the music stops and they all just stand there like oh man we fucked up? and then the queen just slams the door and bursts into singing about her husband being a bastard too?? that gave me major chills like yeah girl leave him take me instead

asha and wands: a love story

the bunnies please

“this wish (reprise)” they really defeated the villain with the power of friendship AND by singing this is the most disney movie to ever disney

queen amaya becoming the single queen she deserves to be you go girl (but I'll still have her if she wants me)

simon my man we forgive you you were depressed. it’s not your fault

asha becoming a fairy godmother is actually kind of cool

"oh so you wanna fly? nice. meet peter pan" honey you say it so casually

A BIT SALTY ABOUT THE ENDING. it's not bad but that would have been WAY more emotional if they let us see asha say goodbye to star. especially because they say it's gonna happen soon, so what's the point in not showing us?? asha and star hugging and crying and then star flying up to the sky. asha looking up at the stars, smiling with tears in her eyes and then the camera moves up to the sky and star has become THE star like the one in pinocchio and princess and the frog. all of this with the "this wish" instrumental. that was a perfect way to wrap it!! also oh my gosh imagine asha saying goodbye to star boy!!! ç_ç

the credits with various characters were a nice touch but why on sweet planet earth did they put yokai as a representative of big hero 6

the credits song, "a wish worth making" just... exists. the lyrics though. they hit hard

I really stayed until the end of the credits just to watch 3 seconds of sabino playing music

final verdict: was ALL the hate for this movie deserved? hell no maybe you should just remember you’re a star and relax

#disney #disney wish #wish #wish 2023 #asha

[felixcloud6288]

Fullmetal Alchemist Chapter 14

Let me open by saying Ed and Al once again avoided the specter of death, and I'm not talking about what happened at Lab 5.

Hughes makes a call to Roy and would rather talk about his family rather than tell Roy anything important. He brings up Roy potentially transferring to Central soon. The secretary mentions the military can listen in on calls from their private line.

The entire non-sequitur joke about Alex Louis Armstrong hugging Ed so aggressively that Ed ends up in a full-body cast makes me wonder what Arakawa's storyboarding process was like through this series. I wonder if she either added that bit to extend the chapter slightly, if there were more jokes and this is one that survived the editing process, or if nothing special happened. And I wonder if some of the bonus material in the volumes is jokes she wasn't able to fit into the main series.

Winry's lucky Pinako didn't come with her. Pinako would have smacked Winry on the head for hiding her screwup and then trying to charge Ed for the repairs that are ultimately her fault.

And we get to see Ed act like the bratty, stubborn teenager he is cause he refuses to drink his milk.

The joke about Hughes making Sheska work overtime so he could take the day off isn't as funny now that I'm an adult.

Now onto the real meat of the chapter: Elicia's birthday party. I spent a lot of time just staring at the characters throughout the chapter cause I just enjoyed seeing their consistent appearance through the scene. The boy with black hair and blush stickers was my favorite. I wonder what he did to get picked up by the big dad.

This one particular two-panel shot was my favorite moment just because of the conservation of relative space between characters.

That kid is standing next to Hughes and in the next panel, the angle shifts and he's still standing in the same place relative to Hughes.

Hughes's explanation for why Ed and Al don't tell Winry anything is probably true and it's not good that Ed and Al are thinking that way. They won't say anything about what's going on because they don't want to worry anyone, but keeping quiet doesn't work.

One day, Winry's parents left and never came home. Now Ed and Al will leave and just come back horribly beat up and then leave again. Despite their reunion in chapter 9 being comical, imagine what went through Winry's head when she sees Ed returning having his arm completely destroyed and Al is in literal pieces.

And in this chapter, Winry remarks how it's only been two weeks and Ed's arm is covered is scratches and he's suffering several injuries.

Keeping quiet about things is not keeping her from worrying. It makes things worse cause she sees the aftermath of what's going on and has no context for anything. And them keeping quiet likely makes Winry feel like they don't trust her.

And this chapter ends with that whole issue of them never talking coming to a boiling point cause Ed and Al haven't wanted to talk about their concerns and now Al is erupting into a fury over it.

Also, pizza exists in this world.

back

#fullmetal alchemist reread #fullmetal alchemist

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

"Wait, why is Loki naked?!?!"

This is The Mighty Thor issue 359, originally published September 1985. I should preface this by saying I have absolutely zero context for this comic. It is the oldest comic, Loki-related or otherwise, that I have ever read in its entirety, so aside from any context provided by the author, I have no idea what happens before or after. My knowledge going into it is this: the cover is vaguely reminiscent of a couple pieces of fan art I've seen (that I do not have sources or screenshots of at the moment, I'm sorry): one, a slightly more harmonious sibling AU with Thor and Loki seemingly willingly kneeling at Hela's feet, and another where Hela says "Kneel before your queen," and Thor kneels at Loki's (in fem form) feet. Additionally, I know Lorelei, and I don't like her. I don't dislike her as much as I dislike her sister, but neither of them are my favorite. Finally, I skimmed this last weekend when I started getting fixated on Sigyn just to see if she was in it. While I don't think I saw her, Loki DOES NOT WHERE A SHIRT for MOST of the issue, and I am greatly distressed (hence the title). This is why I'm actually reading it. Let's get into it. (EDIT: Loki does not actually get all the way naked, but oh boy does he try to get as much skin passed the 80s censors as possible!)

If the "In the service of Loki" doesn't get vaguely homoerotic, I'm gonna be mad.

My God, these old comics have a lot of words.

I guess even macho Asgardian gods were not immune to the fads of the 80s. Those leg warmers, damn, Heimdall.

No, get Amora out of here! She's just gonna make shit worse. Let's see where this goes. Maybe Loki just wants to, I don't know, invest in the arts and institute safety regulations as king. Just a thought.

Listen, I know nothing, so a Sif/Beta Ray Bill romance that ended as suddenly as I was aware it existed comes as out of left field for me as the forty-year-old Fig Newtons ad on the next page.

AMORA! You just wanted to kiss your sister's drugged up boyfriend!!!

I cannot with this fucking bird Lorelei rides. I'm dying.

Amora, you literally just said yourself that he was under an enchantment. What is this going to do?

Uh, RUDE.

Oh, hang on. Loki doesn't even know this is happening? Is that why he's naked shirtless when he finally shows up?

Ookay. He is naked. Because he's fucking Lorelei. Now it makes sense.

Yup. Also this reaction image is so funny, I'm dying!

I am uncomfortable.

I'M SHRIEKING! Why did they reference this weird, random, old comic about a convoluted triangle of seduction where Loki is naked the whole time in Ragnarok???!!! This is the most incredible thing I've seen all week. I'm going to be thinking about this forever. Does he pull this shit with Loki often? Is this a common thing? Is this a coincidence? I don't give a shit; I'm going to tell everybody I know as if I know for a fact that this is just some strange piece of trivia about Marvel and I don't care if it's accurate or not.

"This cloak EMPTY. YEET!" --Thor, probably, if this comic was published 35 years later than it was. (Also it is important to me that you understand: She was not wearing the cloak before he did this. It was hanging up. He comes over to her, takes the cloak off the wall as he goes, then wraps it around her while he does some magical feat of ventriloquy by talking while he full-on snogs her on the mouth. And then he yeets the motherfucker out of the cloak.)

Thor, Sif is also fucking someone else. This is a goddamn soap opera. I'm gonna need to make a diagram.

Thor gets on his knees a lot in this comic. Also the service of Loki byline was a fucking lie. He's not kneeling to Loki on the cover but Lorelei. He speaks to his brother for five minutes and it's while he's threatening to smash his face in with Mjolnir.

Please excuse my god-awful handwriting or the fact that I almost misspelled Lorelei's name twice or the fact that the apostrophe in fuckin' looks like an exclamation point.

#wow. just. wow #this was a trip #i did not expect to be smacked in the face with the possible origins of a ragnarok scene though #loki #loki comics #the mighty thor issue 359 #the mighty thor 359 #thor comics spoilers #marvel comics spoilers #marvel comics #reacting to vintage comics #reading vintage comics #old comics

[olderthannetfic]

Related to the difference in numbers between m/m and f/f. Recently I compared some kpop fandoms to others and found out there's a really big gap in bg and gg even though in non transformative spaces some of the gg are more popular than the bg.

I'm not trying to make any judgments but I'm interested in what makes bg fans more likely to write fic considering that female idols also have fun personalities and dynamics with other members that are shippable.

I don't really think it's related to fan's sexuality because a lot of bg fans (like me) identify as lesbian and there are also straight women in gg fandom.

--

Interesting question. I wonder how it varies by platform and space.

Wattpad has a metric fuckton of female self/Jungkook male idol. Boy groups are going to be more popular for that because self inserty het is more popular on Wattpad than self inserty f/f. The amount of fic that's idol/idol (or gen about idols interacting) seems a lot smaller. I do see some BTS/Blackpink ships along with the m/m for boy groups.

AO3 is slash central and was before kpop RPF got big there. I checked out BTS because there was a lot of m/m fic and then ended up liking their music. My second most listened to group is probably KARD, and I know next to nothing about them as people. I wouldn't say I have a particularly informed or broad knowledge of idol groups, which affects what fic I'll be into even if I like a lot of random songs I've run across on youtube. I think fic popularity can be self-feeding: people check out fictional canons because they have active fic fandoms too.

Last time I looked at AsianFanfics, I think I remember seeing male idol/OFC and male idol/female idol but not so much male idol/male idol. I've never been a regular there though.

The fact that it isn't about sexuality for everyone doesn't mean that sexuality doesn't have an influence on the big picture. I suspect the twin forces of more fic writers being attracted to men and more fic writers finding female bodies more contested are in play.

In my case, for me to care about shippy fanfic, I need to be attracted to the characters/celebrities. There's a massive disparity there for me.

Male idols are too scrawny for me to want to fuck in a lot of cases and have boring plastic surgery sameface, but some of them are pretty muscular, their clothing often covers up the full extent of their skinniness, and at least a few of them look different from each other. Their dances are also hot. Female idols go even more overboard on the plastic surgery sameface, are pre-selected to look even more similar, and have legs like twigs combined with tiny hotpants that show these off. Their dances just irritate me. It's what the industry forces on them, but it's a massive turn-off. KARD at least has kind of weird intermediate dances.

Yoon Mi-rae is smokin' hot. I like Hwasa. But a lot of women in SK entertainment are a hard no for me. I love Blackpink's music, but I'd never be attracted to them. Well... maybe when they're 50.

I have no idea what fic-writing Korean fans think, but for me as a Westerner, male idols are a pleasant change from male celebrities in the US. They're expected to dress up, look pretty, and wear makeup. They're normative in their own context but read differently for me, inaccurate as that is. Female idols are the same old ultra-femme looks on steroids. I certainly don't need more of that in my life.

Maybe if I gave a shit about Fanxy Red's music, I'd be in that fandom. They're the gg that presents like a bg. They're originally from China but relocated.

Hmm... Yeah, I could be into that.

[banannabethchase]

45. You took a bullet for me hangmox????? 👁️👁️

Taking a Bullet (Among Other Things) - Also on AO3

~

Mox dives in front of a bullet for Adam, because he doesn't listen when Adam tells him to stay behind. A sequel to Mistaken Identities. You don't have to read that before to get the gist of this one, but it helps with context :)

~

This was supposed to be a ficlet. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FICLET!!!!

~

Adam catches Mox as he slumps in front of him.

"Oh, my god!" he yells. The guy is getting away, but that's not what Adam can focus on right now. "Mox, Jesus, what were you thinking?!"

"I - shit, this hurts - I saw the guy pull a gun on you and I just moved!" He shifts and takes a look at his arm. Adam prepares for him to gag or scream, something. "Huh. Not as bad as I expected."

"Not as - how?!" Adam yells. He knows he's the professional here, he's the one with the bounty hunting license, the experience, the goddamn qualifications. But Mox is laying on the ground as blood seeps from the elbow of his jacket like it's nothing but a paper cut. "How the fuck are you so calm?!"

"Been stabbed," Mox says, sitting up. "This isn't so bad."

"You got shot," Adam says. He yanks his shirt off over his head and ties it around the bleeding wound. It's less than it looked like at first, at least. "This is what you get for following me when I ran after a mark!"

Mox grins up at him. "Maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you shirtless again." His gaze is anything but weary as he scans Adam's bare chest, eyes clearly hungry. "Lookin' good, Cowboy."

"Jesus Christ," Adam mutters. "Look, we gotta get you to a hospital, baby, even if you are being weirdly chill about it." He hooks his arms under Mox's knees and around his back and stands. "Get you into a car."

"And here I thought those muscles were just for show," Mox says, a little awe in his voice. "Can I blow you before we go?"

"Can you - no!" Adam yells. He half throws Mox into the passenger seat of the truck. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"You're covered in my blood and just bridal carried me to the car like it was nothing," Mox says, buckling his seatbelt with the arm not leaking blood. "It was hot. So sue me."

"So now all the blood you can spare is in your dick," Adam grumbles, walking around to the driver's side door. "Typical."

~

After the hospital, the awkward doctor conversations, the stitches, the shots, and the antibiotics, Adam slows to a stop in front of Mox's apartment. He doesn't know how to ask, doesn't know how to say he wants to walk in with him, to see him wake up in the morning.

"So," Mox says, tracing some strange sort of doodle on his denim clad thigh, "I, uh. I might need tending to. Overnight."

Adam raises an eyebrow. "Tending to?"

"I mean, I can usually hold my own," Mox says, a little smile on his lips. He won't look at Adam though. "Fighter and all. But, uh. Without the use of this arm, who knows if they'll come get me, you know?"

"Asking for a sleepover?" Adam asks, throwing the car in park.

"Maybe," Mox singsongs. "Maybe I need a big, strong man to carry me into the house and put me to bed." He finally looks at Adam, the smile a full blown grin. "Maybe hold me down to keep me from doing anything I'm not supposed to do."

"Hold you down, huh?" Adam turns off the car. "Figure I could do that."

Mox's grin turns just the tiniest bit dirty. "Promise?"

They make their way into the house, Mox only a little wobbly on his feet.

"The fuck you do to him?!" A big guy with surprisingly kind eyes leaps up from the couch and charges toward them.

"Whoa!" Mox says, jumping in between Adam and the man who must be the roommate. "Eddie, chill, it's okay. This is Adam."

"Yeah, I fuckin' know it's Adam," Eddie says, still glaring. "What the hell did he do to you?"

"I didn't do anything," Adam says, hands up in front of him. "Our boy here is a dumbass who jumped in front of a bullet."

"He jumped - Moxley, you fucking idiot."

Adam chuckles. "That's just about what I said."

"The guy pulled a gun on him," Mox says, shrugging. If Adam didn't know better, he'd think he was a little shy about it. “What was I gonna do? Let them shoot my guy?”

“Your guy?” Adam asks. “Wow, Mox, what a way to ask.”

“I took a bullet for you,” Mox says, kicking at Adam’s shins. “Be nice to me,”

“Alright, well, as long as you’re not the reason this dipshit is bleeding,” Eddie says. He eyes them. “I’m gonna go visit my ma. You two don’t, uh. Don’t stain the house.”

“With blood?” Adam asks, baffled.

“Among other things,” Mox says, a half sleazy grin. “Come on, Cowboy, let me show you my bedroom.” He winks.

“Does this guy have a subtle bone in his body?” Adam asks, letting himself be led by the hand down a hallway.

“No,” Eddie yells over his hallway. “’S why I’m leaving.”

Mox lets go of Adam’s hand for just long enough to push open a door.

The room has clothes strewn about the floor and piled on a chair, four half-filled water bottles on the bedside table, and a plant that’s got to be fake in the window.

“Yeah, sorry,” Mox says, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. “Kinda didn’t expect company.”

“You’re good,” Adam says. “It feels lived in. Homey, you know?” He doesn’t mention that the room smells like Mox, that it gets him a little too hard in his jeans for something so innocuous.

He’s never been this close to Mox before, never been able to see something this real of Mox. He’s never gotten to see behind the curtain.

“Homey,” Mox laughs. He pulls the door shut behind Adam. “Um. You want to stay over, right?”

Adam nods. “Of course. Yeah. Duh.” He doesn’t mention how the alternative was a dingy motel room, or how even if the alternative was a five star hotel he’d rather be right here. “I want to. And not just to take care of your stupid ass.”

Mox pouts. “Aw. My ass is disappointed.”

Adam feels his cheeks heat up. “Oh. Oh, well. I mean. If you want. If that’s.” He pauses, unsure of what words come next. His brain is suddenly as devoid of blood as Mox’s.

Mox sidles toward him, leading with his hips, as always. “What, you scared?”

“No!” Adam replies, almost automatically. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I’m no blushing virgin.” He winks. “You can go as rough as you want.”

“You – Mox, you just got shot. I mean that you just got shot.”

Mox blinks. “Oh. Right. I mean, you’re not fucking my arm, so I should be fine.”

Adam sighs, rolling his eyes. “You’re insufferable.”

“Am I?” he asks. “Or am I sufferable enough to…to…” He pauses, frowning. “Okay, I had a thing going, and now I lost it. Are you gonna kiss me now?”

Adam does, because it doesn’t feel like there’s another option.

He’s gentle as he slides Mox’s jacket off his shoulders, as he pulls his shirt off. Mox whimpers a little as the fabric brushes across the wound, and Adam presses apologetic kisses along his neck.

“I know,” he murmurs, hands going to Mox’s belt. “I know it hurts, baby, I’m sorry.”

Mox’s working arm goes for Adam’s belt and manages to undo it with a single hand. Adam decides not to be too impressed. “I’m okay,” Mox says, catching Adam’s lips again. “I just want you.”

And who is Adam to deny Moxley, the man who just took a bullet for him, what he wants?

Adam yanks off Mox’s pants as Mox fumbles beside him. Mox is well equipped, yanking open a drawer on his bedside table to reveal a surprisingly robust collection of dildos and three different brands of lube.

“You’re a man well versed in fucking himself,” Adam says.

“You’re gone a lot,” Mox says. “Had to figure out which one I could pretend was you.”

Adam lets out a desperate little whine, suddenly so hard in his jeans he might die. “Jesus. You – Jesus.”

Mox laughs. “Shut up and lean back so I can ride you.”

Adam does so, falls back into Mox’s bed, and is surrounded by his smell and his pillows. It’s enough to make his head spin.

Mox pulls down Adam’s pants and boxers in one yank and chucks them across the room, then dives mouth first onto Adam’s cock without a warning.

“Oh my – fuck, Mox, if you want me to fuck you, you can’t keep this up for too long,” Adam whines, forcing himself to stay still. All he wants is to buck up into that wet heat, into Mox’s mouth. “Seriously, I want to – ”

Mox pulls back, blue eyes wide and honest. “You want to what?”

“I want to fuck you,” Adam says.

Mox nods. “Yeah. Yeah, right, I. Yeah.”

Adam intends to be slow and gentle, but Mox drives himself down on Adam’s fingers like he's aching for it as bad as Adam is.

“Slow down,” Adam laughs, twisting his fingers until he hits a spot that makes Mox gasp. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” Mox says. “Just – just excited.”

Adam turns them over, laying Mox down gently on the bed while he adds a third finger and watches Mox’s eyes flutter closed. “So good,” he murmurs, smile almost dazed. “Fuck, baby.”

“I will, just wait,” Adam laughs. “You ready?”

“Yeah, please,” Mox begs. “Please.”

“You’re pretty cute like this,” Adam muses. He pulls Mox down to the end of the bed, placing his injured arm on his chest. “Keep that elevated. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Mox raises an eyebrow. “You will?”

Adam slides on the condom as he stands at the foot of the bed, then hauls Mox’s hips up so his hole meets Adam’s cock. “Good?”

Mox lets out a string of disconnected syllables.

“Waiting on an actual word, there.”

“Yes, fuck, get in me you annoying prick!”

Adam laughs as he slides, just as gently as he can, into Mox, pulling out and pushing back in slowly so Mox can get used to him. The heat envelops him, makes his vision blurry and his bones jelly. “Okay?”

“Yes, come on,” Mox says, and he hooks his heels around Adam’s back and yanks him forward, driving Adam in to the hilt without a second’s warning. “There you go.”

Adam needs a second to recalibrate, the feeling of Mox around him so entirely enough to send his head spinning. “Fuck, you feel good,” Adam breathes. “Can I move now?”

“Can he move, he asks,” Mox says, rolling his eyes. Adam’s glad that, at least, he has his arm cradled on his chest. “Yes, for fuck’s sake, move.”

Adam’s not going to deny a wounded man his pleasure, so he begins fucking into Mox slowly, deliberately. Mox grabs at the side of the mattress with the arm that isn’t full of stitches. “Fuck,” Mox murmurs. “Just like – do that.”

“Yeah,” Adam says. His thrusts get faster as he watches Mox’s desperation paint across his face, little whimpers of “faster” and “harder” falling from his lips as he uses his heels to dig into Adam’s back.

Adam had been keeping his distance, is the thing, both literally and figuratively. He’d take short jobs in the area to see Mox, to sneak in handjobs in back alleys and blowjobs in the bathrooms of bars. Today was supposed to be the same.

Until he’d run into his mark at the bowling alley he and Mox were meeting at, and, well.

Here they are.

“God, you feel good,” Adam moans, thrusts getting erratic. “I can’t – fuck, Mox, you’re –”

“Just like that,” Mox says. His face has relaxed beyond what Adam’s ever seen before. He looks beautiful. “Gonna – fuck, Adam, gonna come soon.”

“Yeah?” Adam asks, picking up the pace. He cups his hand and spits in hit, slicking up Mox’s cock and stroking with the pace of his thrusts. “Tell me. Tell me.”

Adam doesn’t even know what he’s asking for.

“Want – fuck – want you,” Mox whines, “want this – want more – fuck!” Mox shoots all over Adam’s hand and up his chest, a moan tearing itself from his body. The clench of his body around Adam’s cock is almost too much to manage, and it’s only two more pushes into Mox’s heat before he’s coming so hard his vision whites out. It strikes him in the spine like an electric shock, and, somewhere in the haze, Adam realizes he’s dangerously gone for this guy.

“Fuck,” Mox laughs. Adam lifts his head – he hadn’t even realized he’d slumped over – to see Mox grinning down at him, injured arm cradled in his other arm. “Didn’t expect that to be our afternoon, huh?”

“Afternoon?” Adam asks, checking his watch. “Babe, it’s nine. We were at the hospital for ages.”

Mox hums in agreement. “I’ll take your word for it. I’m tired.”

“I’ll be right back,” Adam says. “Where, uh. Which one’s your bathroom?”

“The one with the toilet.”

Adam smacks Mox in the thigh with Mox’s tee shirt. “Dumbass.”

He does make it to the bathroom, getting rid of the condom and dampening a towel, and brings it back to mop himself and Mox up.

“Made a mess,” Mox mumbles. “Look. Got some on my bandages.” He holds up his arm, gingerly.

“Why do you seem proud of that?” Adam laughs, but he dabs at it carefully. “That’s a weird thing to be proud of.”

Mox shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s a marking thing? Whatever.”

Adam crawls into bed next to Mox, pulling him in gently. He’s extra careful to avoid the arm. “You good with being little spoon?”

“Course I am,” Mox says, snuggling back in. “I do have a question, though.”

“Yeah?” Adam feels his whole body tense.

“This mean we’re boyfriends?” Mox asks. “I mean, if we’re not, I get it, but, like.” He shuffles so the two of them are practically nose to nose. “I took a bullet for you, ya know? Kinda feels like this is more than fuck buddies.”

Adam nods. “You want to be my boyfriend?”

Mox grins. “You want to be my boyfriend?”

“I asked you first!”

“Yeah, but I brought it up first.”

“Okay, yes, I want to be your boyfriend,” Adam laughs, leaning in and kisses Mox’s forehead. It’s something he’s wanted to do for weeks now. And now, he supposes, is the time he’s allowed to. “Good?”

“Very good,” Mox says. “Let’s hope it doesn’t take another bullet for you to – for anything else to happen.”

Adam desperately wants to know what Mox was going to say.

But Mox’s eyes are finally fluttering closed, and he doesn’t want to push.

Adam’s never had a home as an adult, has never been settled. But here, surrounded by Mox, he thinks he could build one.

~

Mini Playlist: I Want You - Kelly Clarkson R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys Start a Fire- Ryan Star Cowboy Take Me Away - The Chicks

#HangMox #Oops #I did it again #wtf i like wrestling now??? #in which Sara writes #anxious millennial dreamboat #madly in love with leather daddy jon moxley #There's something deeply wrong with me that I can't write a ficlet to save my stupid life

[lobotoboy]

Today I ascended from this mortal plane and remembered why I love movies and want to pursue filmmaking.

For context, I watched Barbie, and the Miraculous Ladybug movie today.

So, I saw Barbie with my mom, in a theater full of women. The first five minutes, I was sat there like "Did the internet lie to me again?" cause I was genuinely confused about what the hell was happening onscreen. But once I managed to get into the groove of things, I really enjoyed myself. I didn't play with Barbies growing up, and it was still enjoyable to me. It was so campy and funny(thank you Kate McKinnon and Michael Cera for being a big source of that), but it had some pretty deep themes, such as criticism against both a patriarchy and a matriarchy, the struggles of women in society, existentialism, and mother-daughter relationships. Definitely a movie for the girlies, but I think it's enjoyable for everyone.

I think the music was great. My mom hates musicals, despises them with her whole heart, but she told me after the movie that she loved I'm Just Ken. And yeah, it was so much. My favorite bit was the fast paced "Can you feel the Kenergy" moments. I've been playing Identity V, and I use that to hype me up for matches. It gives 80s power ballad, and it's super fun to listen to over and over again. Ryan Gosling did a very good job with it. I can see I'm Just Ken and Peaces battling it out for Best Original Song. Push was great as well, despite being underused in the movie, the full version(which is a cover of an existing song) is very interesting, and lyrically fits the movie so well.

I'm not typically a fan of bright colors in movies, catch me watching The Batman any day, but Barbie is the exception, as it just made certain scenes feel so much more important. Mattel offices being cold and gray, really sold that corporate vibes, and the soft white at the ending with Ruth definitely made it feel like Barbie was reaching a life-changing conclusion. It's a wonderful use of color.

Now the themes are the big draw of the movie. Regarding the patriarchy, matriarchy, and daily struggles of women, those themes are definitely hard to miss, but they do so much good with them. Showing Ken being essentially brainwashed by the idea of the patriarchy is interesting, and definitely rings home for anyone who grew up with boys as friends. I've seen a few guy friends of mine turn from sweet guys, into womanizers as they grew older. And it also shows that a matriarchy isn't good either, by showing how the Kens feel less than in BarbieLand. The Ken's situation is a muted version of women's situations in the real world. The Kens aren't sexualized or hated, but they're ignored. In the real world, both in the movie and real life, women have it worse than the Kens, and feel in a similar position. Makes it easy to enjoy both perspectives. Barbie focusing on thoughts of death and change as a whole hits with me on a personal level, as I have a lot of issues with existentialism, and any movie with death as a major theme usually brings me close to tears(such as Puss in Boots 2, curse you good movies). Seeing Barbie meet her creator in Ruth was so sweet, and was incredibly heartwarming.

Special mention to the line "We mother stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they've come". It made me want to give my mom the biggest hug, and I'm in no way a hugger.

Then I went home, and watched the Miraculous Ladybug movie because I had nothing else to do. I've been with the show since 2020, which isn't as long as other fans, but the show still sticks in my brain the same. I knew the animation was going to be great, and that the art direction would make up for any shortcomings in the story. And while yes, the plot was rushed (duh, like, how many years has it taken to get to this point in the show? its gonna feel rushed) but the art was absolutely stunning. My favorite moment was from Hawkmoth's villain song, Chaos Will Reign(available on Spotify) when they pulled out the Disney Villain lime green color. I love that color, and seeing Hawkmoth with it made me ascend. I really love the ending battle as well, the use of colors, lightning effects, butterfly textures, was just perfect. The animation was also really smooth, down to the small details of hair movements, such as when Nino and Alya are on the roller coaster, or when Chat Noir's hair gets wet.

The music was probably my least favorite part, just because I think Cristina Vee could've slayed it, and that the songs sounded kind of generic. But Oh My God, Chaos Will Reign had me bopping and replaying it. In fact, I'm listening to Chaos Will Reign and I'm Just Ken while writing this. It definitely gave me old Disney villain song vibes, mixed with the slightest hint of a Danny Elfman soundtrack. It just sounded so evil, but in a way that I can get behind. Keith Silverstein can actually sing, and that note at the end was wonderful. The vibrato gave me life. I was lowkey hoping Nooroo would stop talking so I could hear more. The chanting was awesome, and gave Friends on the Other Side vibes. I was (and still am) a big fan of villain songs, and this is a throwback to my theater kid days when I exclusively played villains and enjoyed it. Definitely overthrew the Hawkmoth Rap as my favorite Miraculous Ladybug song, but the Hawkmoth Rap is like, second place still. The only crime this song had was being too short. Release the ten hour cut.

Finally, aside from the glory that is Chaos Will Reign, I want to say that the two identity reveal scenes were amazing. I'll start off with Adrien and Marinette's, just because I care about that one the least. I think it was a creative way to go about it, with the masquerade masks. Fanfiction wins again. But I have so much to squeal about when it comes to the Adrien and Gabriel reveal. This version of Gabriel was definitely way more sympathetic than his show counterpart, despite committing atrocious acts. I actually wanted this Gabriel to get some redemption, and I think that bit of forgiveness from Adrien is just that. Let them have a good bond, PLEASE! The whole battle scene was just amazing, the fact that Hawkmoth was willing to do literally anything, and very nearly came close to winning. I knew he wasn't going to win, it's a kid's movie, but I was still on the edge of my seat and biting my nails.

I need both of these movies injected into my bloodstream ASAP.

Do I recommend them? Depends on your preferences. For Barbie, I can see why people wouldn't like it, it's campy(in a fun way), and it's anti-patriarchy and anti-matriarchy, which would make the misogynists and misandrists mad. But I think if you're open to a goofy time that will make you appreciate the women in your life, then give it a watch. It's definitely worth it.

For Miraculous Ladybug, it's a kid's movie, based on a show with a big following spanning years. I think it's something to watch if you're a fan, former or current, of the show. If you're just starting to watch Miraculous, it'll be a better watch if you sit through the show. But, it's a good movie, and still enjoyable for novice Miraculers.

I'm definitely watching these over and over again.

#barbie #filmmaking #cinematography #movies #films #greta gerwig #barbie 2023 #barbie movie #margot robbie #ryan gosling #ken #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug movie #hawkmoth #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #adrien agreste #chat noir #miraculous adrien #miraculous ladybug chat noir #mlb marinette

[wenalena]

You're loved. [Crosshair x Li'ora]

Authors note: A few days ago, I dream about Crosshair and Li'ora and I felt obligated to writing about this (Two time, first in French et second time in english). For the context, I've imagined the Empire use the DNA of Crosshair for create another clone of him.

Warning: Dead body.

Content: Fluff, little angst.

I'm sorry for the translation, I hope I'm doing this well :')

______________________________________________________________

Crosshair watched the rock dust dancing in the ray of light filtering through the gaping hole in the ceiling. The structure had been blown up by the blast of a grenade. That's how he found himself lying on the ground in the middle of rubble. And his own corpse. Or rather, the corpse of his clone.

That was a disturbing picture to see himself dead. Even for him. Although he was a trained soldier with a cold and rational nature, no one could remain unmoved by that.

He stubbornly stared at the hole in the ceiling, listening to the still gasping breath of his partner on his right not to give in to his morbid curiosity.

« It could have been me, he said. »

His voice seemed more rough and bitter as usual to him. To his sideway, he see Li'ora turned her head toward him, feeling her gray eyes searching his gaze.

She's understood him. Maybe more than his own brothers.

« No. »

Her voice made arsh by the dust was soft, but firm. She had no hesitation. Her absolute confidence in him was destabilizing. Still, he couldn't help but want her to reject him. Let her stop idealizing him.

« I was one of them, Li'ora. I was following orders.»

He refused to cross her gaze. Continuing to stubbornly staring the breach above them.

« I would have shot you without the slightest qualm, he added dryly, restrained anger made his voice tremble.I would have been satisfied to obey orders. I wouldn't have challenged them. Exactly like him. »

His sentence ended in a raspy growl between clenched teeth. He fought against his impulse to observe the corpse of his double a few meters from him. The cold eyes and emotionless of his double haunted his mind.

« You're not him, Cross', she affirmed. »

At last, he dared meet her gaze. Even after being close to death, she still had that spark of compassion and levity deep in her irises. His features were drawn with fatigue and covered in blood and dust.

« Why are you always defending me ? »

The question slipped out of his mouth before he even realized he was asking it. Li'ora's nose twitched slightly, like every time something bothered or upset her. She rolled on her side and with a light painful grimace, placing a surprisingly warm hand against his cheek. He didn't dare move or breathe lest she pull her hand away.

« You have a good heart, Cross', no matter what opinion you have of yourself. I see you as you are : A brother feriously loyal, honest and integrate. You have made mistakes, and you learned from them. That was not is case to him, she added, pointing with a slight movement of her chin to his clone. He was not so lucky. »

She continued on her way, ignoring his forbidden silence and wide eyes.

« You're not him. You are not expendable. And there is only one Crosshair in this galaxy. You are unique. You are beloved. »

Her words seeped into his heart and made him suffocate with too much emotion. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against Li'ora's palm, clinging to the mere touch so as not to collapse. He heard the young woman crawling towards him. Her warm breath caressed her lips as she rested her forehead against his.

« How about painting the sky with me when we get back to Pabu? »

A faint amused twitch quirked the corner of his mouth. They barely knew each other when she have handed him a blaster and have dared him to explode a jar full of water in midair. He hadn't understood the process, but his pride compelled him to accept this poor challenge. Especially in view of the poor performance of his interlocutor. His shot hadn't missed. The jar had exploded, releasing its contents into the night sky. A thousand phosphorescent particles had spread out in shimmering flakes passing from an electric blue to a pale green as they died. The water had contained a heat-responsive microorganism

For the first time in a long time, this evening had been one of the most beautiful he had ever experienced. The young woman's delighted smile, her eyes shining with light complicity. They had hardly spoken that night.

It hadn't been needed.

« We? He asked sarcastically. I was the only one to hit my targets...»

He hardly contained the smile tickling the corner of his lips.

« I never missed. I just wanted to see if your bottle would land on the fisherman's skull. »

She giggled, their heads still touching.

« For once I didn't miss my target, she laughs.»

She gave him a light pat on the shoulder.

« Be careful, Crossy. I might be so bad I can cofound you with a bottle. »

This time he chuckled frankly.

« I have been warned. »

They both smiled, amused. A comfortable silence settled between them. Then Lio's comm-link received a signal. She broke contact with Crosshair. A slight shiver ran through him as he felt the cool air dispel the heat from his friend.

« Lio, this is Havoc 5. Do you copy? Said the crackling voice of Omega.

A broad smile enhance Liora's cheekbones.

« He's with me. I activate my balise.

They heard Echo a little further announcing that they were coming before cutting off the communication. She turned to him, a smirk on her face.

« See ? You're beloved.

-Hn, he just said »

Crosshair didn't say a word, his mind shaken by several realizations. First, his siblings still loved him. But above all...

He had fallen in love with a mechanic girl who was very bad at shooting.

And he didn't know which of his information disturbed him the most.

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I hope you enjoyed it ♥

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