#so to state my goals

[catastrxblues]

“we accept the love we think we deserve” drives me insane, drags my sanity to the moon, through hell, and to saturn and back, and alters everything inside me on a molecular level. i just can’t stop thinking about it

#i keep reminding myself that but #I WANT TO BE LOVED #I CARE MORE TO BE LOVED #i’m sick and insane and worst of all desperate #my reasoning is so selfish i get that but is there anything more selfish than this to begin with #ewwww sometimes i look at myself in this state from a third person point of view and feel like judging because why. #WHY DID YOU LET YOURSELF PONDER #you have the goal™️ to focus on #got lovestruck went straight to my head #the perks of being a wallflower #nadirants

[stuckinapril]

I’m happy for the little life I built for myself

#there’s a lot of ways to go #i am nowhere NEAR the dream life I really want to attain #or the dream person I want to be #but high school me #hell even freshman in college me #would GAWK at the life I have so deliberately made happen. #the solid network of friends I have #the confidence I’m slowly but surely growing into #the discipline I’m harvesting bit by bit. i do not claim perfection but I am 100% improving #I’m just happy idk! i don’t compare myself at all now bc I know I’m on the right track #especially compared to where I was like 5 years ago. such a different mind state from now #and no one can take that away from me #there’s a lot more to go. a lot more. but I thought I’d pause and be intentionally grateful for what has been accomplished #bc it actually puts things into perspective to look at the past rather than just look to the present. it creates contentment #i get so caught up being hard on myself for not accomplishing certain things yet #that I forget I pulled myself out of such a deep rut by the skin of my teeth #and that’s important to keep in mind even as you progress to your goals #anyway <333 happy content in my own lane etc etc #p

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Felt like doing another, so here's a "crappy" fear state study.

I used a mouse, but I wanna pick up my tablet and try something more. This one is based off fear fear state promo art

#Jonathan Crane #Scarecrow #The Scarecrow #my therapist has one of my goals to be #art once a week #so I am counting this and yippeee dude lol #Fear State #the next drawing I post will be taken more seriously hopefully lol

[another-clive-blog]

Why are we as a fandom not talking more about this scene ??

Clive is literally asking the professor to come back and stop him. Like this isn't him pretending to be Future Luke : he looks genuinely upset/displeased even after the professor promises to come back. He only goes back to smiling after the professor says, and I quote "I wouldn't dream of leaving things here in that state" before talking about stopping his future self. Clive wants confirmation that Layton is actually going to confront the bad guys, that he won't just solve the mystery but fix it too.

And this is literally so important. Clive's speech at the end, about getting saved. This is concrete proof that he had truly meant it from the start, because he's asking for Layton to stop him and thus save everyone here. Which, hey- he didn't just hope and wait to get saved, he tried to save himself too.

Yep, that's right. The game talks about how dangerous it was for Clive to bring Layton underground : it doesn't talk about how even more dangerous it was to let him leave. He could have brought back cops (he did). He could have gathered precious knowledge out there (he did). He could have never come back (and yet he did !!). Clive letting Layton leave is the biggest threat to his plan, and yet HE DID. And you know what else he did ? Make Layton promise to stop him. You can't make a clearer call for help, you just can't.

"Oh but it doesn't make his crimes more forgivable, now does it-" of course not. This isn't about Clive's redemption, it's about Clive trying to avoid needing a redemption : his efforts are vain the moment he started using the fortress. But. There were efforts.

#Damn Syl ! Back at it again with the nonsense/stating the obvious !! <3 #Actually nope I don't care. I know how it feels when your self is working to achieve a goal your essence is actively against. #You just feel TERRIBLE. Shouldn't I give in ? I want to give in. It feels wrong but fighting it feels even worse. I'm tired #This exchange is so important. The despair. Asking for help when he knows at that point he's not getting saved it's too late #Like he's been working on the mecha he knows it's done he knows he's starting it. He knows Layton will be his enemy #And yet he still asks him to fix things. He still lets him go when Layton would have understood if it wasn't possible #It's about Clive asking/trusting Layton to keep the fight going and win even when Clive himself knows he can't keep fighting #I feel like I'm repeating myself. It's 2am and I'm sleepy ahah but I needed to get this one out <3 #clive dove #professor layton and the unwound future #professor layton and the lost future #unwound future spoilers #lost future spoilers #My analysis #(Scheduling this one to post when I'm sleeping. I wonder how this one will go lol)

[informist]

qprs are so wonderful. like yes please lets be partners but instead of stressing over romance or sex lets burn down the governor’s mansion

#qpr #qpr positivity #qpp #drove past the governers mansion in my state today #womp womp made me pissed off #i want to make a bunch of posts on qprs #bc there is so much misinfo going around #“the end goal for ace people is to have a qpr” EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER #“allos cant be in qprs” EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

[a-sketchy]

akechi’s corpseisms are so enthralling to me

#he was already so corpsey. living entirely for the sake of a goal he didn’t intend to survive #and then BOOM third semester #buddyyyyyyyyy. my mannnnnnnnnn. girlieeeeeeee. #whether he’s literally or essentially or figuratively dead he’s soooooo corpsey. get buried already girl #such a fucking death-seeking corpseeeeeeeee. #this is what i like most abt akechi n akira’s relationship in my head #what i find really fun to explore with them #akira’s in like a half-constant state of grieving a guy standing right next to him #and he’s like ‘hey can you stop dying. for a minute. please. stop reminding me you’re dead. please stop saying you can’t be saved’ #and akechi’s like ‘no fuck off’ #i think it’s fun when neither of them particularly want to be in this situation #akira doesn’t want to care. cause itd be easier. but cause he does care he doesn’t want akechi to die #and akechi doesn’t want to be cared about. cause it makes dying harder #and so they’re stuck feeling like shit forever <3 #rambles #suicide ment #suicide mention #in the tags but yk #ough ive missed thinking about them #it’s been far too long for me to know if this is even glancingly in character but it’s at least interesting isn’t it?

[aurosoulart]

the GREAT PATREON SMUSH

I was going to make an advertisement for this with bright colors and maybe animated sparkles but 1) I hate making ads and 2) we are all so exhausted by bright ads vying for our brain chemicals that I just don’t want to do that to you anymore!!!! I’m TIRED of things grabbing for my attention in an unending assault on my senses and I’m sure you are too!!!!!!!

if you’ve been doom-scrolling and need a break (a nice beverage, a stretch of the legs, etc.), take this as a sign to do so now. if you’ve got the energy for a little reading, though, and want to learn about my work - keep going!

ANYWAYS I’ll get to the point: ALL of my patreon benefits are now available to the lowest ($3) tier.

in fact, there ARE no other tiers anymore. they’re gone! scrunched! smunshed! stirred up all together into one big super tier soup of everything I offer now and will offer in the future!

everyone now gets:

over 100 4k desktop wallpapers

early access/wips

25% discounts on prints

livestream voice chat

art votes & art suggestions

commission slots

and access to the Art Grotto discord, a friendly and chill server with a small community of creative folks. we share art, writing, pets, memes, and also come up with fun art ideas together! 🌈

why am I smushing the tiers and giving up the higher pledge amounts?!

because capitalism sucks, we’re in a recession, and I’m lucky enough to have a full-time job that allows me to make art without being reliant on Patreon income. anyone who has sat in on one of my livestreams knows that I try to be a calming force in an often-chaotic world, and that I’m always looking for ways to make art more accessible to everyone. I want my Patreon to be a place where I can give back to those who are supporting me in this mission!

this tier smush is just the start of how I hope to transform this space! I have a bunch of fun ideas about stuff I want to do in the future, so keep an eye out for more announcements like this 👁

that’s all!!!! thank you if you’ve read this far, and here’s the link to the Patreon if any of this interested you!

#auropost #i'm moving more and more away from trying to create bite-sized flashy info posts lately #like i don't want to be a brand!!!! i'm not a commercial!!! #and YOU are not an audience/consumer/target market/number on a screen!! #you're a PERSON!!!!!! #we're all people and this is a conversation #i'm de-programming a lot of social media brain rot right now #i don't care if that means that people scroll past my text posts #because i don't want to resort to assaulting your eyeballs with a graphic #we've all seen enough for a lifetime. for multiple lifetimes #so i'm trying to do something else #anyways my secret ideas for new patreon benefits involve discord livestreams of all the tech travel i've been doing lately #and then my ultimate patreon benefit goal is to go on a tour of public libraries in patrons' states #where i can host public xr art classes with people in person!!! #i'm already gonna be doing this in la soon so if success keeps up i want to take it on the road #with a focus on doing classes for discord members in their own home states! #eventually i'm thinking about making the discord server public as well #but right now it's just a well kept secret since i like that it's small :'D #anyways SINCERELY thank you if you've gotten this far. even if you can't join the patreon i appreciate that you took the time to read this #your time and attention is valuable and i don't take it lightly. take care 💖

[maudiemoods]

Every few weeks I remember that as of right now my life really isn't going in the direction I want it to go and I have a little month long freak out about how I'm wasting my life and how I absolutely need to find a career

I'm trying to make a list of goals and the steps to get there but it's hard. I'm so worried about investing all my time and energy into something I end up not liking. Idk I have a lot of fear in my heart. Makes things very difficult for me skenksmdjsjn

#rn i feel like im running in circles #my life feels so uneventful jdkwkxkekksmxksksk #im so afraid of regret but im also too afraid to commit to anything grr #tw rant #tw vent #grr #i want to do something with my life not just work until i die #explodes #and my hours have been cut at work so now im making a lot less money 🥲 #grggrreggr #idk my main goal is to move out of this state ee #too hot here #but idk where to go !!! #arughhhh #i was thinking main?? somewhere high up north #but i want to live in a coastal town hmm #ren won't shut up #ignore #im rambling!! #this is how i figure things out xjndkdje i need to type it all out grrr

[legionofpotatoes]

nimona thoughts! still my top movie of the year so far!!

been thinking about how to frame my thoughts on this gem, and I ultimately arrived at a bit of a pretentious jumping-off point. but honestly, my favorite stories are always the ones that end up demoting the whats, the hows, and sometimes even the whos in service of the whys. it's the hardest question and context to tackle in any story, and it's worth interrogating the most in order to find any true meaning, any connection at all to what's told.

nimona shows exactly why walling yourself away from the "others" isn't good enough. it shows why you have to do the work and see them.

not just that it is dogmatically "the right thing to do". not just depicting what certain systemic injustices are, how they are deployed, and who they are targeted at. but the why. that simplest, purest shape of questioning an injustice dating back to your gentlest time as a child, when you were vulnerable, naive, and truly curious in the best possible faith. the question you would always ask was why.

you are picking up a sword to threaten the unknown. you've been told the whos and whats. you parse it thus. but you don't know the why. you are watching this happen on TV, contextualized, simplified, dramatized. you are connecting the dots. understanding the why.

nimona painstakingly drills down on that why. arduously, achingly digging past the institutions of fear fed by cycles of indoctrination and right down to the core of it. packaged in a simple-to-parse fantasy world built with deft, elegant metaphors and archetypes that immediately fall into place and make sense to a person of any age.

it is animation as a medium and fantasy as a genre both working in concert. a fun and colorful romp that ends on a gentle embrace of reassurance that tells children - both literal and the ones buried deep inside adults - that their first question to the world was always the correct one. because it was the kindest.

#nimona #text #I had such a rough time with the ending and how much it affected me. I knew what her goal would be the moment she headed for the town squar #even before the obvious visual connections. the film carries you alongside her internal state so well that it's almost a magic trick #but really it's just good a-b-c-s of dramatization. not a second is wasted on tertiary noise that's not serving the central metaphor #and you know kids are hyper-attuned to that. they lack the language to conceptualize effective storytelling #but storytelling isn't about peering behind the curtain. it's about receiving whatever is the result of it #and I know deep in my bones that this movie was a warm balm on the hearts of many little ones and that makes me so happy #I'm a 30 year-old adult and it damn near made me weep. anyway! not to promote netflix NOW of all times #but man what a good ass story. you can keep your barbied heimers

[chiropteracupola]

a little pain now, to save a great deal more pain later

[flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @dxppercxdxver]

#em draws stuff #flintlock fortress #team fortress 2 #blood #today on the em cupola show: wild self-indulgence. but hey I feel Bad so I'll draw what I Like. and today that's medical procedures. #someone leaned over my shoulder while I was drawing this and asked 'is that bloodletting' and they were Almost Right so I'm endlessly proud #in fact it is smallpox inoculation! #sorry to everyone who I have bothered with my Smallpox Talk in recent memory but It Will Happen Again. #the game style itself is kind of rockwell and leyendecker-y to me so I wanted to do something with a similar look to their work #had a lot of goals for this piece and I think I really did achieve all of them quite nicely #could I keep these guys recognizable without showing their full faces? yes I think so! #could I make 'getting a mild case of smallpox with the lads' seem a bit romantic even? yes to that too. #also. scout tattoos make an appearance. (do not go looking for them in any other art of him on account of I Forgor) #and a new look for ansel (this man dresses Boring but that is no fun for me to draw) #'backstory relevant' I say as I do not discuss any of these guys' backstories again. #'that's for us to know and for you to find out' I say while giving you no way at all to find out #have been in a constant state of 'by gosh having a little less blood in me would make this situation better' for several days now #and while I am using Normal methods to improve the situation drawing such things does work a bit to heal the mind #'we're doing just fine' says local guy who is madly drawing the same guys over and over again

[anglerflsh]

upgraded from poetry to prose. This is good I will get a good grade in teaching myself french something both normal to want and possible to achieve.

#[.txt] #also it's cold out I have a wollen jumper on in the middle of august. and a cravat. And I am still cold #<- ofc worn with the proper collar (because I am so cold. why is it so cold. it's august. there are 24 degrees.) #better this than it being warm I suppose but still #to get back to my stated goal I think this is going well. My biggest hurdle with languages is having to sit down and memorise vocabulary #and doing it this way is proving to be utile. of course I know nothing of pronounciation but I'll live #my german is better than my french in that I know more grammar but less words

[iwantyoursexmp3]

not about poetry but i don't trust people who go online spewing vague declarations of "in order to write you need to understand Form And Structure!!!!" because there's prose fuckheads who do the same thing where they just vaguely say you need to understand Structure before you write a novel, but by structure they usually just mean the three act structure and the hero's journey and they've never studied or considered how structure can function beyond that, especially in non-western/non-english writing theories. the minute someone is like ohhhh but the Structure.....in a vague manner like that i'm like okay so you don't actually know structure because if you had deeply studied structure in writing theory as you claim to have done, you would know how complex and fluid and varied and malleable it is and it's not just one thing you Learn How To Do like putting a table together. and it's not something you will one day know perfectly because you will, ideally, encounter new ideas to structure a story as you expand your reading and your own writing. anyway i'm done for now i'm logging off to read more filthy animals by brandon taylor, potluck was such a good short story collection opener. i'm excited to see how he links these stories into a structured collection. i'm excited to read family meal by bryan washington when i'm done because he did a lot of fun things with really short + really long chapters in memorial and i learnt a lot about structure and pacing from there.

#i think i stole the putting a table together from a garth greenwell essay #i know he definitely said studying writing is not like studying how to make a souffle. anyway #what if i post garth greenwell essay quotes on main i think i should #anyway similar to what my best friend garth said. writing as an education fails when you treat it as a means to an end #and not a constant state of being #if you treat writing as something solely to learn and master then you will fail because where do you put the goal post of perfection? #and what happens then? #even using these vague pointers. there is no moment where you 100% know form and structure #you learn it with every thing you read and write #so again i ask okay what form and structure do we have to learn. give me specifics. and at what point have i learnt enough #i similarly dont like the you have to know the rules before you break them because okay who measures and decides the appropriate #amount of knowing? #and things like this erase the importance of actually writing and being with craft in the development of that knowing #tldr just fucking write and have fun with it omg the learning and the knowing will come!!! and it will never end and that is the beauty!!!

[shadowiie]

Sonic is aro confirmed

#what was a simple 'i need to do something on the ds while my phone charges. what game can i play without getting overwhelmed with' #ended up with finding a new favorite sonic game #they have a LORE CODEX. for the AUTISM #and i can make sonic as disinterested in amys advances as i want thanks to multiple dialogue options :) #love it when the game states something abt a character and im like SO true bestie #'while sonic is willing to do anything to save the world shadow is willing to do anything and everything for the sake of his goals' #only nitpick is calling omega and rouge shadows friends 😩 #dont get me wrong its not like there isnt a relationship of trust and comraderie #but to call it friends doesnt really work as the relationship between the three is complicated due to each characters self-centeredness #not the best example of friendship lmaoo

[another-clive-blog]

Thinking about the Clive and Bill parallels again...

Both started with pretty average goals (gaining money / getting closure). Both became obsessed with said goals to the point of going through with their plans no matter the cost. Both became consumed by the desire to pursue a goal that isn't actually achievable (You can get more money but it will never feel like it's enough. You can lash out in anger but it won't make the anger go away). Both ended up killing innocents.

And yet.

Bill getting rid of his humanity in the hopes of getting money. Clive getting rid of his money in the hopes of getting his humanity back. Bill claiming he despises people like Clive when he has himself killed innocents for his own selfish plans. Clive claiming he hates politicians and scientists but still using science to build a mecha and politics to justify its use. Bill hiding everything, hiding from Claire that the machine isn't ready, hiding his crime from everyone. Clive exposing everything, exposing his secret base to Layton, exposing Bill and Dimitri's crime by his staging. Bill covering up the incident while Clive broadcasted his crime inside the fortress.

I don't know where I was going with this. Maybe that prime minister Bill looks like a honest citizen, just your regular Londoner really, while Clive is so obviously violent and destructive : and yet, Clive is the dove and Bill the hawk. Funny.

#In today's episode of 'Syl states the obvious' LOL #But yeah basically looks can be deceiving for them both I guess =) #This is once again a very simplified version. Hence why I don't go into too many details #Like Bill losing his humanity is the very moment he decided the risk was worth it. It's not even the explosion itself #Clive doesn't feel like a human because he's so alienated. He's ready to kill people. But he's hoping to get saved. Wrong actions ofc #It's actually so very important to me that Clive goes to jail but we aren't told a thing about Bill. Bill keeps everything a secret #Dimitri also has parallels with both. One day I'll write a good detailed analysis about these 3 #clive dove #bill hawks #professor layton and the unwound future #professor layton and the lost future #unwound future spoilers #lost future spoilers #my analysis #This goes without saying but they're both assholes btw. Idc about the actual goals or characters they're both in the wrong and messed up

[tameru]

Hiii! I recently came across this account and I am actually a big fan of A-HUB but the language barrier has been a big problem for me , but if you don't mind can you translate the song "sennoh" or brainwash by the same creator A-HUB, I really appreciate your hard work that you put into translating these songs. Thank you <33

Byee

hiiii!!!! im so glad to hear this i love ahub dearly….!!! and i do have a wip for sennou, i can clean it up and post it sometime!

#i also have most of origin:a in various states of wip so if u have songs u want posted first… let me know…. #💌 #im so glad My goal in this world is for everyone on earth to understand ahub

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

gerard after finding out that elody is coming

#never after spoilers #prince gerard of greenleigh #never after #I drew this in a fugue state and needed to rewind #this was posted only for my sister so she could reblog and I’ve already achieved my goal #my art :)