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flowercrowngods · 11 months

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day 07: free space a happy ending

Wakefulness embraces him so slowly and gently that Steve’s not entirely sure he isn’t dreaming when he sees Eddie lying next to him, watching him with an easy smile as his fingers tap out a slow beat on his pillow. Steve looks at him, blinking away the remnants of sleep, not quite daring to do anything more than that for fear of it being a dream after all, scared that Eddie would disappear if Steve reached out to touch.

But then Eddie’s smile widens. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Steve gasps a little and moves his hand to Eddie’s cheek, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear, his breath hitching when Eddie leans into the touch.

“You’re here,” he whispers, his gaze wandering over Eddie’s features, taking it all in and looking for any indication that this is a dream.

Eddie hums. “And you’re pretty.”

It hits him out of nowhere, the open sincerity in Eddie’s voice, the fondness in his eyes, the honesty in everything about him. The love, open and free now — or getting there, at least. It’s still so raw, though, so new, that Steve doesn’t know how to handle it yet.

“Shut up,” he huffs once he’s caught his breath, rolling over to hide his face and the way his cheeks are heating up. He rolls right into Eddie's chest, though, and he's so warm, so close, smells so good that Steve wants nothing more than to bury his face in his neck and stay there for the rest of the morning. Or maybe the rest of his life.

The reflex to pull away is there. The urge to run and hide, to laugh it off, to freeze up and find something else to do, something to occupy his hands and stop them from reaching for Eddie. Years and years of muscle memory telling Steve to leave.

But Eddie's arms come around him, holding him close and pulling him even closer. And Steve breathes him in, remembering that it can be okay. Remembering that they get a chance now.

Remembering the words.

What are you doing?

Changing the world.

So he tries that, too. Changing the world. He tries by winding his arms around Eddie, too, and breathing in again and again, learning that Eddie won't disappear if he does.

Slowly, he dares to move his arms, stroking along Eddie's back in slow, gentle patterns, lulling himself into a safety he hasn't felt in a while. Maybe ever. At some point Eddie begins to hum, and Steve thinks that it's just another one of his audible smiles, inviting Steve and the rest of the world to join in if they're so inclined. But then he detects a familiar melody in the vibrations of Eddie's neck against his skin, and he holds his breath to find out what it is.

His heart jumps when he recognises the song as one he used to listen to on repeat like a lovesick fool around the time his feelings for Eddie turned into something more, something better, something infinitely worse.

It skips and he forgets how to breathe as he lets his hands travel over Eddie's back, slowly and tentatively daring to slip underneath his shirt and touch his skin.

Eddie begins to sing, then, and Steve wonders if he's even been in love with him before, because nothing of what he's ever felt compares to Eddie's gentle, hoarse, sleep-rough voice as he sings Somebody to Steve, to their little bubble, or to the world outside.

"I want somebody to share, share the rest of my lifeShare my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details."

He closes his eyes as he listens, focusing on the vibrations, on the warmth, on the closeness, on how this moment is everything he's never even dared to want. Everything so perfect that he couldn't even dream it up.

Everything. You're everything.

He needs to be closer still, so be buries his nose in Eddie's neck and breathes him in, tangling their legs, filled with a breathless kind of joyful bliss when Eddie's breath hitches, too, and he stumbles over the words of the second verse as Steve tries to climb into his skin.

"I want somebody who cares for me passionatelyWith every thought and with every breath."

You have me, Steve thinks, pressing his lips to Eddie's pulse point. It's not a kiss, not quite. It's something deeper. It's a promise.

Eddie's hands come up to hold him there even as his voice carries through the drumbeat of Steve's heart in his throat, running fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, making him purr along to the melody.

"But when I'm asleep I want somebodyWho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderlyThough things like this make me sickIn a case like this, I'll get away with it."

When the song ends, Eddie's words faded out, replaced once again by the gentlest silence, Steve feels raw. Vulnerable. Open and exposed. But he also feels safe, and loved, buried in Eddie's skin and held there, as though Eddie is just as scared of fading away as Steve is.

He lifts his head just slightly, enough to meet Eddie's eyes – only to find that they're closed, an expression so serene like Steve has never seen before. Mesmerised and overflowing with affection, he reaches out to trace the line of his brows, down to his cheeks and all the way to his lips, where his eyes are glued for a second.

The thought of kissing Eddie is right there. The opportunity is, too. But he doesn't. He barely dares to move as it is. But he does roll them over the rest of the way until he lies comfortably on top of Eddie, and tucks his head underneath his chin, finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers.

"You've got him," he breathes eventually. "That somebody. If you—“

"Yes," Eddie says, his other hand finding its way to the nape of Steve's neck to play with his hair again. "I want."

"Good." It's lame; far from what he wants to say. From what he has already said last night. It feels like they're doing this backwards, starting with the I love you and catching up with the slow build-up afterwards. "Good. Me, too."

"Good," Eddie hums, and there's that smile again that Steve can't help but mirror.

They fall asleep again like that even though it’s already late in the morning; cuddling and holding and cradling each other, still trembling slightly. Maybe that's what changing the world will do to you. Maybe that's the bravery more than the love.

Or maybe it's just Steve and Eddie. Steve and Eddie. SteveandEddie.

I love you.

~*~

It takes a bit for Steve to relearn loving Eddie. To not associate it with tragedy and sadness and a bone-deep loneliness that'll leave him breathless even on the best of days.

It takes a while for Steve to learn a whole new kind of breathlessness, a whole new kind of aching when it comes to Eddie.

And Eddie's not much better than Steve, pulling away when Steve wants him closer, swallowing his words and needing a second, third, fourth try until he learns that he gets to love Steve now.

Years of unrequited love, or feelings unreturned, of words put out into the universe with no one to receive them, are not easily or quickly unwritten. But every time Steve's breath gets lodged in his throat and he wants to run away, Eddie is right there to remind him of what they can have now. Every time Steve tries to be a little less of who he really is, Eddie is right there to coax him out of his head with gentle touch and a lot of hugs.

Every time Eddie starts to doubt himself and all the ways he makes Steve the happiest person on the planet, Steve is right there with the words he only has for Eddie. Words that don't get stuck anymore. Words that finally get a recipient.

~*~

Their first kiss, the first real kiss, doesn't happen that first morning. They spend the first week only holding each other, barely wanting to let go, hiding their vulnerabilities within each other.

Steve is worried about it at first, seeing Eddie so quiet, so reverent, lacking his usual cheer, his energy and snarky comments. He asks about it one night, ready to prove right that he isn't and can never be enough for him, that all he will do is steal the things that make him Eddie.

Eddie stops then, lifting Steve's chin with a finger when he's too scared, too ashamed, too vulnerable to meet his eyes on his own accord.

"Stevie," Eddie says, his voice so gentle that Steve immediately feels stupid for doubting. "I have loved you for ten years. I've had you for three days. Let me bask in it. Let me be unable to be myself with how absolutely and utterly overcome I am with the knowledge that I have you now. That I get to hold you. That I get to kiss you and keep you and... God. I'm not unhappy. I'm so much the opposite of that that I'm not sure there's a word for it. Other than devoted. Smitten. Bewitched, body and soul."

Steve wants to kiss him then. Almost does, with the way they're just staring at each other, breathing the same air —air that smells like Eddie now. In the end, Eddie just holds him, brushing a kiss to his cheek, his forehead, his temple, and whispers, "Let me bask in it."

And so they do.

Wayne called Eddie not long after with the words, "Chrissy just told me the wedding's off. Please tell me that means what I think it means."

Eddie just blushed, reaching for Steve, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, I, uh. I finally talked to Steve."

There was a very loud cheer on the other end that made Steve laugh, falling into Eddie's side, holding him tight, a weight falling off his shoulders knowing that Wayne was okay with them.

You know, I always figured it would be you.

No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me.

It made his eyes sting again, but he basked in the moment and in the knowledge that Wayne was on their side. Always has been, always will be.

"You better come here on Sunday, and bring Robin and Chrissy, too."

"Robs and Chrissy?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, you're in for a treat. I'll see your asses on Sunday, boys."

And with that, he hung up. Steve immediately went to call Robin, hopeful and giddy with Wayne's implication, knowing that Chrissy was Robin's person just like Eddie was his.

"She loves me," Robin said, on the verge of tears, and Steve joined here right then and there. "She's– Steve. She's so– She... God!"

"Yeah," Steve laughed at the ceiling above his bed, grinning because Robin sounded so happy, not even caring that she didn't have the right words for it, because he could hear Chrissy laughing in the background, too. Laughing and saying hi to him and interrupting Robin's ramblings and groans and giggles with kisses that always left her dumbstruck for a good two seconds each time.

When the call ended, he went right back to the living room, where he and Eddie started watching Pride and Prejudice before, and fell right on top of him with a happy, happy smile.

~*~

It happens at Wayne's, exactly one week after Eddie showed up at Steve's in the middle of the night. One week after the phone call. One week after I love you.

It happens in the soft glow of the fairy lights Steve and Eddie helped him put up years ago. I happens after Wayne hugged him tight once more, after he pulled Chrissy to the side and promised her that she's still his kid, that he still loves her, and that he's happy to see her smile like that. After he promised the same to Robin.

It happens when Wayne's inside to refill their drinks and Chrissy and Robin are caught up in each other that they're blind and deaf to the rest of the world. When Steve turns to find Eddie looking at him with the softest, gentlest expression.

"Eddie," he whispers, leaning in to rest their heads together, lacing their fingers and stroking his thumb along Eddie's palm.

"Yeah, baby?"

Baby. It fills him with butterflies, with the urge to scream, to shout from all the rooftops that he loves Eddie, and more importantly, that Eddie loves him back! Baby. Baby.

"I love you."

"Hmm. I love you more."

No, you don't. Just longer. "Can I kiss you?"

He can feel Eddie's little gasp before he leans in even closer, rubbing their noses together, cradling Steve's face with his free hand. "Please," he whispers.

And Steve does. He captures Eddie's lips, pouring into it everything he feels and more. Sealing the promises he's made and all the ones he's yet to make. The promises to love and cherish Eddie. To be brave. To be there. To stay and keep and bask.

It's nothing like their first kiss all those years ago. There is no question behind it this time. Only declarations, only promises, only the beginning of a shared future.

And there are many, many more after this one.

🌷🤍🌷 THE END 🌷🤍🌷

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript @hardboiledleggs @estrellami-1 @bisexualdisastersworld @space-invading-pigeon @swimmingbirdrunningrock @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @oxidantdreamboat @spilled-jar @phirex22 @littlemsterious @captaingigglyguinea @animecookie95 @sharingisntkaren @haluton @littlemsterious @animecookie95 @suddenlyinlove @bisexual-bilingual-biped @jinx-nanami @makewavesandwar @scheodingers-muppet @morcantinon @hexdbog @homosexualhomocide13

god i can't believe it's over. i thank you, every one of you, who cheered for me, cried with me, screamed and yelled at me, and stayed with me throughout this past week. i have no words right now other than thank you 🤍🌷 and i hope this is okay

#steddie #steddie fic #steddieweek2023 #steddie week fic #i feel like this one's a bit disjointed but i kinda like that about it?? little snippets that make a happy ending you know??#idk i hope you like it too (i always get anxious about endings tbh catch me vibrating out of my skin)#dio words #i cannot believe it is done. i cannot believe what a ride it's been. i'll find the words for it later i think. first we read. and we bask 🤍#morcantinon i am ENDLESSLY sorry i forgot to tag you even after you sent that wonderful ask please forgive me 😭🤍#i also forget a bunch of people who asked in the reblogs but dear god i hope you find this anyway i am all over the place #i will edit this and work in more chrissy/robin when i post it to ao3. but this is steddie week. and these are 15k words of an au #that happened spontaneously and within 2h each night of me flying by the seat of my pants. xD

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 3 months

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♡ handwriting analysis: alex turner and miles kane ♡

as promised, here is the analysis my wonderful friend (who used to work as a professional handwriting analyst) did of miles and alex's handwriting! a couple of important points to read before you dive in:

my friend analysed these blind - to avoid bias, she always makes a point of never knowing whose handwriting it is she's looking at, so she had no idea that these samples were from alex and miles while analysing them (not that it'd have made much difference if she had, she can't even name one am song lol)

she stressed that her analysis should NOT be taken as fact - it's just one person's interpretation of the material, and handwriting analysis is ultimately always subjective

the two analyses below are based on notes i took while she was talking and is pretty much verbatim - none of the wording is my own and i have changed as little as possible in typing it up

she noted that it was harder to provide a full and accurate analysis just working with photos of handwriting, as you can't see things like pressure on the page etc. she also stressed that context is significant when it comes to interpreting someone's writing, and it's important to bear in mind that how someone writes in one context, e.g. signing autographs or writing something for the general public could show quite different characteristics to how someone writes in another context, e.g. personal letters to someone they're close to. in an ideal world she'd have access to samples from a different range of contexts to provide the most detailed and accurate analysis. in other words, this analysis is quite rough

alex's handwriting:

(samples taken from roughly 2011 - 2018)

block capitals suggest this is someone who don't want to show themselves, makes it hard for people to reach them

someone interested in thoughts and ideas, would engage with these in a way that's intelligent and very original

a lot of emotional and social inconsistency, suggests someone pulled in different directions. they might show very different sides of themselves with different people and probably have complex and/or conflicted feelings about identity

very creative, someone who'd make interesting and unusual connections about the world around them

highly intuitive but also lacking harmony from an emotional perspective. lots of internal emotional conflict and changeability

someone who fluctuates a lot socially as well as emotionally - might go from being quite sociable to withdrawing completely. ultimately struggles to reach out socially and holds back a lot, but there might be certain situations or people they feel particularly at ease with where this is different

really hard to read, don't give much of themselves away

thoughtful and enquiring, interested in ideas

someone who feels things very strongly

signature:

implies someone hiding themselves or presenting as someone they're not. they want to look confident and exciting, but they're actually much less confident that they'd like to appear. lets their creative and artistic tendencies hide them and take centre stage.

miles's handwriting:

(samples taken from roughly 2022 - 2023)

a little sharp, could suggest humorous wit and/or being critical (either of self or of others)

ambitious and incisive, intelligent and enquiring mind

fearful or wary about opening up and reaching out to people, emotional inconsistency. potentially quite restrained - looks like someone used to hiding a lot of hiding of emotions

has an enquiring mind but isn't particularly interested in abstract thought, more grounded in reality and social/emotional things

someone with strong feelings, they get held in and confused. could be warm and open on a surface level, but looks like they'd be reserved about their innermost feelings

could be sharp tongued to avoid dealing with their own feelings

lower zone suggests someone who might not be completely comfortable in their own body and/or sexuality, or have a complex relationship with these things

someone with a tendency towards strong feelings and devotion/worship (could be religious, or could just be to do with the way they relate to people or ideas)

signature:

someone who wants to look more confident they feel. sense of changeability and flashes of insecurity, but ultimately suggests strength of character, not someone who's a pushover. they know what they want and what matters to them.

interesting extra notes:

the wonderful @ballad-of-what-could-have-been managed to find this sample of alex's handwriting not in capitals from when he was much younger (from what i can see, it looks like it was early fwn era):

so i showed this to my friend too (after her analysis of alex's usual writing) and noted that it was probably done when he was a lot younger. she said that all her points from the original analysis still stood, and that despite the fact this writing isn't capitalised it was actually still very hard to read and definitely someone not comfortable with showing themselves. she also said that it was more emotionally conflicted and uncertain than the later sample of their handwriting. the phrase "emotionally all over the place" was used, and she noted a greater sense of inconsistency with identity. overall though she said the earlier sample confirms that this is someone with a high level of intuition and originality, and she said they're someone she'd be fascinated to have a conversation with!

thank you for reading! if you have any questions, please feel free to comment/drop me an ask and i can always pick my friend's brain again the next time i see her!

#wow this took me forever lol #please feel free to share thoughts/comments! 💗#i don't know how everyone else feels about this but i personally was BLOWN AWAY and honestly i haven't recovered yet 😭😭#so much of it just feels spookily spot on #in terms of my personal sense of each of them anyway #like when the first thing my friend said about alex was to do with identity and being pulled in different directions?? fuck #and then all the stuff about miles and devotion/worship???#i don't even know how to talk about everything i'm feeling rn actually #god my heart hurts 🥺#anyway #i'll stop rambling #i hope everyone found this as fascinating as i did!#alex turner #miles kane #the last shadow puppets #tlsp #arctic monkeys #lulu posts

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astrologylunadream · 6 months

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Your Crush's Biggest Insecurities💌😰💧 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream🤗 Does your crush have insecurities too? If so what are they? We'll be doing a reading on their biggest insecurities right now💭 hope you find your message🌸

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ There are 6 piles this time! Think of your crush, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~☁️♥️

Pile 1💮

Pile 2🥀

Pile 3🛁

Pile 4🍰

Pile 5🌪

Pile 6🍷

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> ☁️🎲🖤

Pile 1💮

Sign energy: Stress, Early, Intuition, Sidelines, Short-term, North node, Mercury, 7th house, 12th house, Sun, 🎪💣🟫📆

🥀Your person's energy: This is someone you have thought about seriously marrying/committing to pile 1, I see you👀 Now for the overall vibe of your person it's a lot of air energy I'm feeling but also they could have air in their water houses like for instance the 4th/8th/12th houses are all water houses naturally but for your person they could be like gemini/libra/aquarius in those houses in any order too. Virgo is coming through for some of you, I'm getting Libra/Virgo cusp rn. I'm seeing someone who is a heavy over thinker right now they get lost in their mind a lot. Your person is prone to stress and sometimes they just stress themselves out over little things, they even obsess about the dates flying by and have an over emphasis on time. This is someone that has a lot on their plate, but you just want to step in and be their true loving partner🥺❤ You just wanna make their day and help them out a bit, you want to turn their frown upside down I'm hearing haha. This person may have confessed to you recently or perhaps thought about it a LOT. They trust their intuition because they are usually right and they're the type to say "I knew it" and "I'm going with my gut on this one" because they really have a hunch for things sometimes!! This person may not be in your life yet, but they can sense a future with you and they think about you a lot.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Stage, Self reflection, Feminine, Prove, Vulnerable, Mars, Neptune, 5th house, Gemini, Capricorn, 🩰🔙💢👫 Alright my pile 1's, your person is so worried about appearing good enough for you😖💗 They're worried about a future partner or marriage, they may feel like no one could love them or they would screw it up so this makes them very lonely. For some of you I'm getting this person had a past longing for creative expression but it was repressed by others, I'm seeing someone who wasn't necessarily allowed to like feminine things. They have a deep insecurity about displaying their more feminine side (or more nurturing/emotional side) in fear of being taken advantage of or judged for it. Your person is so scared deep down you guys they don't wanna be called weak or stupid for their innermost self😭😭 They're afraid of daydreaming too much and being in their head all the time, and romanticizing a partner and hoping for one makes them feel vulnerable and desperate but like that's just themmm😫😫♡ Pile 1 you have no idea how insecure they are about themselves... they set themselves to be this strong, will powered, bold person who doesn't need affection but they're really just a sweetheart deep down who wants to be seen as delicate too.💓 My heart omg you guys this is so sad... I'm hearing "let me be myself". They want someone who they can show their true colors with, like looking in a mirror with someone who doesn't degrade their true self.

🖤Messages from your person: I've been trying to keep my distance, I don't know you, I want to take you away, You don't need to take care of me, It's not true (Omg they honestly do want to be cared for😟💞) Extra cards: Door, Lesson, Pretty, Phase, Work, Aquarius, Air, Moon, 6th house, 5th house (They're working on showing their hidden side🤍)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ w ˂ )ɞ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the blossom emoji~💮 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 2🥀

Sign energy: Career, Exotic, Pink, Last, Fixation, Water, Aries, 5th house, Neptune, Scorpio, 🏃‍♂️🗻❤🩺

🥀Your person's energy: Ohh okay I'm getting Leo, Aries, Pisces, Scorpio all those sort of signs. Your person is probably very fun and distinct from other people, I feel like they just have this look about them. Now this might be someone you're in a love affair with, maybe one of you enjoys flirting with the other. I feel like you may be resisting this person but your heart is saying like "Yes yes yes 👀👄👀" Now anyways I'm seeing this as someone who creeps into your subconscious a lot and you might have wild fantasies about themmm🙈🔥 Keep it low keyyyy it's so obvious lol your person may be from a far away land like a long distance from where you are, idk why but I'm getting rockstar vibes right now so your person could be into rock or punk music.🎸 Their hair is on fleek btw, they have an unnatural color or style most likely too. They make your heart beat so fast, they may like to run in the mornings. You've told yourself they will be your last, and you're heart is focused on them completely.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Mother, Rest, Escape, Bones, Call, Pluto, Cancer, Water, Libra, South node, 🧩✔♒👎 Hmm this is interesting, so I'm getting some serious baggage with your person my pile 2's... this may be a little dark but they might have a deceased parent or their mother could have a burdensome relationship with them. Whatever the case this is something that's weighing their energy a lot right now, so they're kind of at a dark place right now. This could be an tragic event from the past regarding their mother that they're still holding onto, this could be effecting their relationships with others aswell. They want to leave this mind prison they've trapped themselves in and stop dwelling on the past. They feel powerless and their state of mind is greatly imbalanced. They feel like they could have done things differently to change their past, and perhaps made things easier for their mother. I'm getting they may not have one and if for some of you they do, I'm getting they watched their mother deal with hardships while feeling like a helpless burden.😔🌧 They have this deep guilt and regret for not stepping up to help those in need more, and this has led to my pile 2's aswell. They don't want you to suffer like others they have witnessed before, they worry about putting you in a hard situation without knowing how to protect you. They are worried their care won't suffice. Your person wants to provide and protect those in need but they have little faith in themselves to do so.

🖤Messages from your person: Of course, I need someone, You really think I would choose you? I couldn't stop, What if I make a mistake? (They don't want to disappoint you🥺😭😢) Extra cards: Hot, Mars, Fan, Capricorn, Dreams, Taurus, Capricorn, Pisces, (Uh oh my pile 2's your person has some wicked fantasies about you omg they don't wanna get carried away with the passion they feel!!🥵❤)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ w ˂ )ɞ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the rose emoji~🥀 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 3🛁

Sign energy: Affection, Angel, Hunger, Escape, Unseen, Jupiter, Neptune, 6th house, Sun, Gemini, 🔒🐈🎲🎰

🥀Your person's energy: Your person is so soft and beautiful omgggg their soul is like a watercolor painting imo so lovely and enchanting🌊♥️ You may feel like they're unreal or like not human they have such a graceful presence, so stunning~ They may have soft Sagittarius + Pisces placements, I'm getting Leo and Gemini for your person, Virgo could be significant aswell. I keep seeing soft baby blue eyes and deep red nails for some pile 3's person, they have really pretty hands. They are known to daydream and space out into their abstract thoughts often, your person may find feline creatures very beautiful and identify with those creatures. They have an angelic voice and mind, you see them as a pure angel <3 They might take risks often despite their soft nature, trying out anything out of their curiosity. I'm hearing "curiosity killed the cat" lol that's them😂 They're such a curious cat about life and the world around them, I feel like they have diverse interests including you~ This might be someone you "crave" in any way whether it's emotionally or physically you just want themm💗💗 You imagine yourself with them often and fantasize about winning their affection and being held by them, it's always on the back of your mind my loveliesss.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Public image, Impulsive, Locked, Remedy, Book, 8th house, 12th house, Fire, Vertex, 5th house, 🙄🩰🖇🔝 Ohh alright we have some interesting things going on my pile 3's so let's see, with the heavy water house energy we're recieving I'm kind of seeing an obsession/addiction they're hiding from you... maybe it's your obsession that they're insecure about, because they feel so important to you and it's like a pressure in a way.. to be everything for you, they don't know if they can keep you🥺 I feel like your person might be afraid of what others think of you two, like they don't want everyone to know how deep things are between you both. You guys may have a mutual obsession with eachother that they're a little shy about, so they are insecure of their intense feelings for you💓 And I'm seeing the fate of you guys' relationship is something they are a little worried about, they feel in the dark about you and them. Your person is insecure about your loyalty aswell, I can see this as a huge concern for some reason. They might have certain ideas of you and assume you won't commit to them like they will.😟 They know you guys are connected and they're so scared of messing things up, my pile 3's your person knows you have eyes for them but they feel pressured to be the one for you <3 You make them feel special and they hold onto that desperately, so they're always nervous about being their best.

🖤Messages from your person: It all matters, Oh my god, This is interesting, I knew you would feel this way, I don't know who I am (Wow you got them thinking😫) Extra cards: Change, Crush, Innovation, Order, Secret admirer, Neptune, Earth, Chiron, 3rd house, Pisces (They're fantasizing of a confession!! Thinking of confessing to my lovely pile 3!!!)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the tub emoji~🛁 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 4🍰

Sign energy: Right, Abundance, Fan, Connection, Sadness, 11th house, Jupiter, Juno, Aries, Water, 😷🔧🧎‍♂️😳

🥀Your person's energy: Alright this is someone you are head over heels for rn, I can really feel this recieving energy from your person like they're in a state of receiving and earning love and admiration. They're very lucky and have many opportunities, this could who fixes things or very helpful. They could be like the term "fixer upper" so maybe they have some flaws or issues but you look past them.💓 For some of you this could be an internet famous person, they don't have much physical contact with you at the moment I'm really getting that honestly. Some of my pile 4's are the type to chat online a lot with them or maybe you often send messages to your person but then one of you stopped for some reason??😦 Many of you are a fan of your person like their personal little supporter🥰🎉 This may be someone with Aquarius/Aries placements, as well as Sagittarius. They have a nice smile and very emotional too, even if they don't seem that way at first. They feel a lot and I'm getting melancholy vibes from your person~ You see them as your ideal partner and you want to date them. Your person can be impatient at times.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Inspiration, Holding back, Earth, Love at first sight, Activity, Gemini, Vertex, Aries, Leo, Aquarius, ☸🎢🧩🌅 Okay your person has a lot they're anxious about rn, they have been keeping things to themselves a little more than they would like. Your person is afraid to lead you on, because they don't want to lead you in the wrong direction like a dead end with you. They don't want any of that so they're holding back their feelings they're stepping back for a while to process everything. Your person's mind rapid right now just thinking about what to do they keep pondering the best decisions because they're so worried about loosing you.😣 It feels like fireworks are going off in their mind just trying to comprehend the situation between you two. They are so confused and they don't know whether to listen to their head or heart!! Rejection is the biggest insecurity for them and they feel as if they're setting themselves up for disaster. There could be a little self sabotage going on with them, I feel like they have no idea what they want and it drives them crazy. It makes them feel worse about themself that they can't make a decision on this. It's killing them that they're so aimless right now, they hate to admit that they have no clue what move to make with you my pile 4's your person is a mess over you😩❤ They're trying to ground themselves and come up with a rational answer for their situation, because they're insecure about their ability to keep this relationship with you.

🖤Messages from your person: You're mine, I care about you, I want to give you cuddles, You're not okay, I'm so frustrated (Omg they're so stuck rn🥺) Extra cards: Rage, Union, Anonymous, Wish, Slow, Gemini, Aries, Virgo, Libra, Juno (They really want this to work!!🤧💖)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the cake emoji~🍰 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 5🌪

Sign energy: One and only, My everything, Kabedon, Mirror, Smile, Chiron, Eros, Jupiter, Lilith, Leo, 🎤💜🗿🍦

🥀Your person's energy: Ayy I'm getting heavy masculine energy with this one, I'm sensing a really attractive person on this pile's mind~ It's someone very successful and outgoing, they have a really hot smile. I'm seeing pile 5 just melting whenever they see them smiling LOL it's addictive.🥰 This is someone very fun and charismatic, they have such a light energy. It's so enjoyable and sweet!! Prominent Sagittarius and Leo energy. Your person has a genuine aura about them, very honest and showing their true self. They could be a singer or enjoy music a lot, could he their hobby. This person means everything to you, you love them so much and would do anything for them. You also try to be like them, mimicking their little habits and speech patterns <3 They may like the color purple or look good in that color, I have a feeling they are very sweet to you. Which caused you to fall so hard for them!! This person does not show when they are hurt, they will put on a poker face and keep going, so they always seem happy. They have a dark side that you see in yourself, the side you wish you could express but are too shy to. You see them as perfect.💝

💭Their biggest insecurities: Home, Absence, Meaning, Winter, Lesson, Juno, 10th house, Scorpio, Cancer, Saturn, 🤩😡🎧🦁 Your person has some deep feelings they're keeping in, and it's definitely weighing their subconscious rn. They don't feel in the right position, they feel misplaced you could say. Your person has a lot of repressed feelings that they can't hold back anymore, it tears them inside out emotionally. Your person is a drama queen deep down but they are so scared to show this side of them to anyone. Also, your person is so lonely and they have huge insecurities about being needy.😔💞 They just want to cuddle and share their feelings with someone who will keep them safe!! They feel like they have no meaning or worthiness, and they don't want to be a burden. Your crush is secretly clingy but they're ashamed of this, so they pretend to be unbothered by emotional distance. But every little thing really effects them!! They're so insecure about the relationship not bringing you both success and support, they just wanna ensure that you are cared for and that your connection with them will remain true.😚 I'm hearing "keep you interested" and "entertain you" now. They're insecure about you loosing interest or seeing them as less great than you thought, this makes them so nervous awww pile 5 your person really wants to please you.🥺🥺⭐

🖤Messages from your person: I want to hate you, You saved me, Don't think of anyone else, In your imagination, I can't wait to meet you (Ohhh pile 5 they're possessive😳😶❤) Extra cards: Baby, Bones, Nervous, Sight, Punish, 1st house, Aquarius, Mercury, 9th house, Saturn (Aghhh whyyy they're so into you pile 5 they wanna take you down🥵🤯)

Thank you my pile 5's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 5 with the tornado emoji~🌪 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 6🍷

Sign energy: Separation, Quiet place, Neptune, Choice, Mermaid, Scorpio, 10th house, Virgo, Uranus, 1st house, 😫🦄🩺🍰

🥀Your person's energy: Okay I'm getting heavy Scorpio rising vibes oh gosh. Virgo/Aquarius rising aswell as capricorn rising. They have a magnetic aura, their gaze will suck you in so fast. They make you do stupid things without thinking rationally!! You can't think straight around this person, your heart starts beating out of control when you think of them.♥️ I feel like have an attractive collarbone/neck area for some reason, and I also feel called to say this is definitely a loner type of crush. You love their calm and cold demeanor, ohh and their stare has you obsessed you love their piercing gaze. I'm getting a no contact period for some of you with this person, you guys might be far away from eachother or someone is being really REALLY quiet.🤐 They are so mysterious and alluring and you barely know what's in their mind, they're very hard to read at times. But they are highly perceptive and can read you like a book lol it's not fair😂 They are very unique and special, they have charms that make them very different from others. You guys might have a strange situation with this person, a situationship is likely between you two. I feel like you daydream about being dominated by this person in the sweetest way like cuddles where their hug just swallows you whole🥺🥰

💭Their biggest insecurities: Shoulders, Venus, First love, Even, Movie theater, 10th house, 3rd house, Aries, Moon, 8th house, 😭🆙️💬🤝 Awww your person is so sweet omg so first I'm seeing they get really nervous around you like, you give them little butterflies. They have a soft spot for you especially when you pour your heart out and vice versa you listen.😍💕 Their biggest most deep insecurity is scaring you away🥺😰 They have a really deep bond with you and you guys have such an intimate connection, they feel so strongly for you that their emotions and intensity just consumes them. Part of them just wants to hold your hand and brush your hair gently, and then there's another part of them that wants to grab your shoulders and kiss you against the wall until you can't breathe💀 So like they're super worried about how you'll react to their intensity and they don't want to make you uncomfortable or seem to desperate/clingy for your love. They're worried you will just watch them like a clown circus as they cry over you😂 Stop why am I laughing it's so sad though. They are afraid you won't want to match their level of attachment to you, they wish you would let them take control of you in the most loving way. They're scared of being called dramatic or too obsessive, and they don't want to let go. My pile 6's your person is so afraid of becoming that "psycho ex" story for you lmaooo where they just never let go of you when you've moved on. 9/10 chance they're probably crying over you rn.🙃 But seriously they just want mutual feelings!!

🖤Messages from your person: You're my dream, I want you all to myself, We're more than friends, I'm not okay, Who are you to me? Extra cards: Hidden, Innocence, Sugar, True feelings, Innovation, 10th house, Vertex, Air, Pluto, Saturn, (They just wanna stabilize their crazy feelings for you but it's so difficult for them...😢)

Thank you my pile 6's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ w ˂ )ɞ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 6 with the red glass emoji~🍷 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Alright you guys this was a lot to write so I'm glad you found the message you needed. Thanks everyone for reading! (*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

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plutosfallenangel · 1 year

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Astro thoughts + takes | Random observations

(*from personal experience + knowledge, please do not copy+paste as these are my own words*)

• Uranus aspecting one's moon can make them prone to mood swings, yes, but I never hear about how this aspect can make it easier to overcome tough emotions. Since Uranus represents innovation + breakthroughs an individual with a moon-uranus aspect can power through them quickly, and sometimes in very odd ways. Can have different coping mechanisms than most around them.. one that will really stand out apart from the rest. Now, keep in mind that this can be great in many ways.. zipping through emotional turmoil can be a breeze for these people, they just have to make sure to slow down once and a while and ACTUALLY process what they're feeling. Those with moon sextile uranus can actually work through tough emotions when they get outside of their comfort zone.

• Moon sqaure saturn can indicate emotional immaturity until the individual works on their relationship with authority / authority figures, amongst other things..

• Neptune square asc can give one the desire for escapism through substance, any harsh aspects neptune makes to the moon or venus can also indicate this (no hate.. I have this aspect)

• Virgo mars and planning when to have xxx (this is where they clash with fire/air mars signs.. they thrive off spontaneity which this mars lacks unless the chart indicates otherwise ofc)

• Mars in the 6H and being turned on not by a specific area of the body, but what sensations can be created by it (nervous system)

• Mars in libra vs being turned on by reciprocity

• An unevolved lilith in libra/7H can be the typical womanizer/maneater until they learn that there's power in standing on their own, not feeling complete only when in a relationship. some may use others to try and "heal" themselves too

• Virgos actually spend their past time connecting the dots

• One of the things that cancer and taurus placements share in common is that they'll be in a DEEP sleep, wake up, and randomly start making a 4-course meal (yum, can I sleep over?)

• The galactic center of the milky way is stationed in the constellation of sagittarius, which has up to 400 BILLION stars.... and you still wonder why they act like that?

° Saturn conjunct asc means everyone giving you responsibilities because you always look like you can handle them (even if you can't or the responsibilities have nothing to do with you) however, in return it does grant the individual with passing authority (I also have this.. even when I'm not the one "in charge" people come to me like I am)

• The house that Saturn is in can show you which area of life you'll feel most restricted in (ex: 3H- trapped within the local community or bound to siblings in some way. 10H- bound to work, restricted in some way to get away from it. 12H- trapped in your mind/subconscious)

• Sun in 8H individuals may gain more recognition after death / possible famous after death ( check for more fame indicators )

• Scorpio + 8H placements will put people through trials and tribulations because they want to see if they are worthy enough to see their innermost self and deepest desires. this is because these placements experience the most rebirth (and their own trials and tribulations... quite often), they want to make sure you love them down to their very core, so when they morphe into their next "self", you won't leave

• When the south node transits the 7H one will notice past-life partnerships coming back into their present life. Note that this may not always come in the form of a lover.. but if it does.. your working on releasing patterns of behavior with said person. Unfortunately, once the transit south node exists the 7H there may be a parting of ways. This could be completely flipped however, some may meet a past life partner that they end up working on these patterns together and stay together (depending on synastry). And then you even have some people who will experience repeating events and patterns from outside forces but don't actually align with a specific past partner. As of right now taurus risings are letting these lessons wrap up, if you are a Taurus rising comment below with your take on this! Scorpio risings are shedding an old identity.. I know this can appear to be typical Scorpio behavior but because this is affected by the nodes, it's a deeply submerged part of themselves they're FINALLY learning to let go of and release control. Let me know if this resonates- Scorpio risings! 🫶

• Whichever house the south node transits in your chart will be the area of life you will experience "letting go" of what no longer serves you (Ketu=deflation)

#astrology #astrology observations #astro community #astro observations #moon signs #astrology transits #astrology community #astrology research #taurus #taurus rising #scorpio #astro posts #zodiac #zodic signs #astrology predictions #predictive astrology

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spinjitsuburst · 9 months

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ninjago fic recommendations because i have so many Thoughts about them

gonna share some of my favorite ninjago fics bc they're so so so good and i want people to talk about them with me

Land of the Living by @captainbrookeworm - An evil scientist bent on using Lloyd's powers to resurrect his enemies chooses a poor one to start with - with Morro back alive he has to help Lloyd escape the facility, find a way to stop the bad guy, and keep the rest of the ninja from throttling him as everyone learns to adjust (pretty sure this has a sequel that i still need to read)

when you think you're all alone by @mondothebombo - A fic about a deeper look into what things were like for Jay aboard Misfortune's Keep. Lots of hurt, lots of comfort, lots of Jay needing therapy (TW: this fic contains depictions of torture and discussion of sexual assault so please be careful!) (also i've drawn fanart for this fic huehue)

The Ice Emperor and the Earth Dragon by @mcfanely - In the events of Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitzu, things are changed when Cole gets zapped to the Neverrealm alongside Zane. With two ninja trapped instead of one, we get a different look at how the Ice Emperor comes to be, and just how far Cole is willing to go to protect his brother (this fic broke my brain ngl)

Current Hunger by @thoriffix - After a mission gone wrong, Jay's behavior begins getting more and more unstable. Dangerous. He's hearing whispers in his head, things that aren't there, and the ninja are noticing. Little do they know the danger is much bigger than anything anyone could've imagined (TW: a lot of psychological and body horror)

Play to Win by @sadisthetic - A Skybound one-shot. After getting captured on Misfortune's Keep, Cole didn't expect to be thrown into combat, much less against Jay. A one-shot about Jay and Cole and the worst round of Scrap N' Tap imaginable (tw: violence duh)

Visionary by @k1ngtok1 - A fic about Lloyd, getting an innermost look at the history of the people he cares about most

Would You Like to Enter Prime Empire? by @finn-m-corvex - A fic where Prime Empire carries out somewhat differently, with the ninja separated from Jay and having to work with him from the outside of Prime Empire

There's a Smell of Stale Fear by @spinchip - A one-shot about Jay tending to Zane in the aftermath of a traumatic event. A lot of reflection on Zane and what he's been through. (TW dark themes)

To rise after the fall by @k1ngtok1 - A series of fics centering around Cole and his realization that he has oni heritage. It's so cute and good and yes please read this series i am Begging you

Would You Like to Enter Stardust? by @aureallegories - Something goes wrong when Jay enters Prime Empire. Becoming a corrupted code in the game, Jay forgets the ninja entirely and becomes one of the hardest bosses in all of Prime Empire (i've drawn fanart for this fic too huehue)

Masking and Unmasking by HelloThere3306 - A one-shot set in the movieverse, all the ninjas identities are a secret until Lloyd's gets revealed to the group by accident. The ninja have to set aside their biases to get their green leader back.

#WHY ARE NINJAGO FICS SO GOOD #anyways hi authors y'all are all so cool #ninjago #lego ninjago #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #spinjitsu screams #ao3 #spinjitsu reads

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dateamonster · 3 months

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My vampire ex-boyfriend is stalking me. This is not an unusual occurrence. Even when we were still dating he was always doing this, he just used to be more obvious about it because if I called him out he already had a line locked and loaded about how he was only looking out for me. And sure, I'll admit that I've had more than the average number of near-death experiences for a seventeen year old, but at the risk of rehashing old arguments, a lot of that could've been avoided if he'd just turned me the first time I asked.

I've broken things off with my vampire ex-boyfriend a couple times before, usually for about the same reasons, but this time it's different. I think he's noticed it too. I'm not grieving anymore, not holing myself up in my room listening to sad music watching every gray day pass me by. I've talked to my friends, then to my dad, and they're on my side. My dad took a little longer to come around, but it helped that his best friend's son went through the same thing. It's good to have people around who want to support me, not just protect me.

My vampire ex-boyfriend didn't want me to be a vampire like him. He didn't want me to have sex, with him or anyone else. He didn't want me to go out with my friends without him there, but he also didn't want to come along. He didn't want me to go out after dark. He didn't want me to cut my hair. But he liked me, he really liked me. He liked that I didn't ever show much skin even in the summer. He liked that I didn't have any real hobbies or passions so that he could be the one to introduce me to music and fine art and literature. He liked that I kept my innermost thoughts so buried that they were a secret even to me.

I don't know for sure if I want to be a vampire anymore. I think I might, or at the very least I want to keep my options open, but it doesn't feel as urgent now that I know there are other ways to change myself. I used to think I needed it to be close to him. He was so beautiful, is so beautiful. My vampire ex-boyfriend, with his serious, brooding stare and his model chin and his body carved from the center of a pale diamond, his chiseled angles sharp enough to cut with just a glance. And then me beside him, with my long mousy hair and my fragile frame hidden beneath overlarge shirts and jeans when even a knee-length skirt made me feel too exposed. For all his sanguineous habits, I was the parasite, and he was the genuine article, and maybe that's why it hurt so much to have him reject me again and again. All I ever wanted was to burrow into his colorless skin, to feel what it was like to be strong and unyielding. My vampire ex-boyfriend hated his perfect body. He waxed poetic about my warmth, my softness. Maybe we were more alike than I thought in the end.

I load my old pickup truck full of lumber and nails and feel pleased by how much easier it is now that I've started to put on a little muscle. Working with my hands makes me feel more grounded in my body, so dad's enlisted my help in some of his DIY projects around the house. My collection of bandages is growing, from splinters and slips and the occasional dropped hammer, but my coordination grows a fraction less abysmal each day, and if I spill blood there's no one there to wince and whine about it.

I put a lock on my bedroom window. I pin photographs to my wall documenting my changes from month to month. Dad shows me how to shave without cutting myself, despite my insistence that if I could figure out my legs I can figure out my face. I smile more days than I don't. I still turn my head in the same direction when I hear a loud crack from beyond the treeline that's not quite thunder. I still visit his family, when he's not around. In another life I know his parents would've treated me like one of their own.

Just as I'm climbing into the driver's seat I hear a voice from the shadows, whispering the name of a stranger. I drive away. I've got no more interest in raising the dead.

#writing #good morning i had a bunch of weird dreams and then i woke up with a voice screaming in my head BELLA SWAN IS TRANSMASC #i havent read twilight since i was twelve so in my mind this is not fanfic since its almost definitely not in line with the actual characte #consider it a transformative twilightalike somethingorother #sometimes u just vaguely remember smth from ur childhood that makes you go Testosterone Wouldve Saved Him i guess #vampires

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twst-drabbles · 2 months

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Trapped in a Fish's Eye 4

Summary: "Experiment all you like with that fruit fly," you gave a wave and a smile, as though Jade was simply going shopping, "Just keep my warnings in mind, alright?"

(Over 1500 words on this piece. I, uh, I had fun with this one. There be body horror, and some gore. And Jade making himself suffer. And him crying. I had a lot of fun.)

It started off as a jar with a bug. A simple fruit fly that managed to make it's way in here via the lapels of a random Octavinelle student. Normally Jade would be quick to get rid of it, bugs make a poor sight in any place they're not meant to be, but to the bug's misfortune, Jade was very much bored.

Well, he will kill it eventually, but he wanted to do something with it first.

He wanted to expose it to the light, to the gaze that casts itself upon this dorm. After all, there are many, many questions running around Jade's head now that he was deprived of everything else that lay outside.

Questions such as: is it only people such as he, of similar intelligence that are affected? Is this madness of mind and flesh reserved for those inside? Or does any creature count? Do you need to make eye contact with it? And if eye contact is needed, can one resist it?

Such questions can't possibly be answered with just one bug, but it'll at least give him something.

Jade didn't dare touch the light, he used a pair of tongs instead to move a loose piece of wall paper. It was a hole he discovered by accident, a testament of the age of this dorm, and the cheapness of Headmage Crowley.

The bug, trapped in a jar, was flying as it always does. It bumped against the glass, desperate to search for a way out, to locate the food it was dragged away from. The soft blue light was a mere slice upon the glass, so thin even a child's eyes would be unable to focus on it.

But it was enough. It landed on the bug, a line that landed right on its red eyes.

It stopped flying. It fell, as though in reverence, as though whatever was in that light ripped out every little thought that made it a fly.

Jade watched it crawl up the jar, back to the place where the light cut into its eyes.

Its wings shriveled up and fell into a scattering of dust, as though they were held over an open flame. Then its abdomen swelled. It grew and grew, with something writhing and cracking its harder outer shell before it simply… popped.

Its head stayed small, with limbs to match, but the rest of it. There were falling fish scales, long and rubbery fins that moved through the jar with a grace that should not exist in a fly. The strings of insect flesh, and what was once its organs shivered, seized, then twisted themselves until they were new and hairy insect legs. In the innermost section of this bloated fly, Jade saw a cluster of white, milky eyes, like the eggs of a squid. Their pupils didn't focus on him. In fact, they appear to be unable to focus on anything.

Jade closed the gap in the wall. Only then did the fly collapse to the bottom of the jar, unable to withstand its new weight.

Jade was slow to pour in the acid inside the glass jar. A trickle, sometimes pattering out to mere drops, but they always meet the flesh of the deformed and engorged insect with a spitting sizzle. The creature squirmed and screamed. It attempted to use its many new legs to crawl out, to escape from this pain, but it's as if it's fighting a battle with itself. One side of the violet bulbous creature would crawl up the jar, the other would dig itself further into the jar.

Once enough acid melted through it's pulsing, hairy body, it successfully ripped itself in two.

"Wow, you really like to keep everything dark in here don't ya, Jade? Why not get some light in this place? At least I'll be able to see what you're doing."

Jade can practically imagine Floyd leaning against the door, peering into the darkness that both he and his sibling can so easily see through. Jade doesn't need to turn around, nor does Floyd need the lights. They both know each other just the slightest bit too well.

"There's no need," Jade waved him off, "Nothing more than a boorish hobby for someone such as me. There's nothing interesting about it."

Jade heard a single footstep and he dumped all the acid into the jar. Whatever screams this creature was capable of were drowned and melted down. It became nothing more than bits of dissolved mush.

So, even this thing, no longer a fly, can become like this.

Jade thought he saw something twitching, perhaps some latent energy inside those numerous limbs, and pressed to the bottom of the jar with a stirring rod.

"That's real gross," Floyd said with a grin, resting his head on the table Jade was at, "What were you playing with this time? Another bug?"

"The same bug."

The fruit fly with one wing smaller than the other and missing it's left back-most leg. The one that has a preference for the sweet and sticky residue left behind by soda cans and jam jars. The same fly who's residues Jade leaves with you to bring back, over and over again by means he's still unable to peek or drag out of you.

"Hmm, that's boring." Floyd sighed out, deflating on the table. Jade felt his urge to knock over the glass jar of acid, so he moved it away and held it against him.

"I told you," Jade said, lightly swishing the little bits around the solution, "A boring hobby for a very bored person."

Jade can't very well use the fishes inside that tank, as Azul paid a pretty penny for those visual delights, and rats simply do not exist here. A fly is all Jade can work with, all he can play with.

Even though the results are always the same.

It's as they both say, "It's boring." A static numbness over the brain. Irritating and truly unwanted.

"I hope you have a good day," Jade said as he walked away.

"You try and have a good one too, Jade," Floyd called after him but didn't move from the table. Jade guesses he, too, was being pulled under the dregs.

He and everyone else.

Isn't it selfish of him, to let this bug have all the fun? It gets to experience a cycle that Jade is unable to. It gets to live and gaze into whatever is outside, it gets to die by his hand, only for its remains to eventually land right back to yours.

To start all over, incapable of remembering anything other then its want for all things sweet, sticky and rotting.

It's lucky, Jade thinks, that boredom is something it can never grasp. And if it was once capable of it, well, it's always erased by the end. Lucky, lucky, lucky thing.

A simplistic existence that's made to only want for food. Its fear does not resemble his own. Its wants do not contain facets like his does. It is a fly. To be trapped here, with the rest of the dorm students, must be heaven for it. It has all the leftovers it could want. It does not have to worry about the weather.

And to think, not even its simple life and simple instincts are enough to turn away from the monster's gaze.

Was it truly that fascinating? So much so that its need to escape and eat became secondary? That, in its need to continue looking and whatever was in that crack, it let its body grow, burst and transform?

Was it not agonizing?

Ah, but what would a fly know?

It can't think like him, and it can't suffer like him.

It can't know like him.

…it can't comprehend nor tell him anything. Not anymore…

The jar with the fly was tossed to the side.

Jade knelt before the opening and dug his fingers in.

…

… oh.

No wonder. How silly of me, to not know why I was so jealous of a mere bug. After all…

I've done this all before. And I just wanted to return to it.

The flesh hidden under his clothes bloomed forth, scales and slime falling and splashing. His heart still beat, his veins still pulsed, and the boredom…

The boredom was gone, and all that was left was pure agony.

"Well, look at you," you didn't have to exit your temporary room at all, Jade came right to you, "You're quite the sight."

A hand, now a claw, swiped right past you and tore at your bed sheets. Jade gripped them tight and dragged the rest of his transformed body into the room. Exhaustion was impossible to keep at bay. Jade collapsed his head right into your lap.

He was back to sea flowing self, skin a vibrant and slimy green, ears now fins, and hands sizable claws.

But, like the fly in that jar, everything below was swollen and split open. Behind him, a trail of fish scales. The lingering strings of flesh fused to together to make more tails and fins. Inside the layers of his flesh, you can see pulsing eyes.

And how sweet, they're all gazing right at you.

Jade lifted his head, now larger than your torso. You looked to him just as you heard sniff and a gulp. You saw red rimmed eyes. Tears fell in dollops on your legs.

Jade opened his mouth, but what came out wasn't words. Only groans. His voice struggled to push past all the things that made him like this. Low, almost guttural, as though coming from the deepest reaches of the sea.

You smiled.

"It's so cute," you said, caressing a hand on his cheek, "How you always come back to me in this state."

He leaned in and pressed his hand against yours, just to keep you from pulling away.

"And it's so cute," with your other hand, you pressed a finger against his forehead, "that you keep doing this to yourself. Do you like being in agony just so I can comfort you? How silly of you, little eel."

Jade shuddered, his face pinching up as more tears flowed out of him. Soon, the rest of his eyes join, and now there's a puddle for you to worry about later.

Well, that doesn't matter, for now.

You squished his cheeks and kissed his nose. "Aren't you glad that I'm here. There's nothing to worry about. Just go to sleep for me, alright?"

Simply let that consciousness dissolve in the darkness of sleep, of the solution of dreams. You'll be there to bring him right back to how he was.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst-drabbles #drabble #ask #octavinelle #jade #jade leech #trapped in a fish's eye #eldritch au #reader insert

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onestopfanficshop · 2 years

Text

dating carmy berzatto pt. 2

warnings: language, here's a few nsfw things in here so watch out for that 👀 mdni

author's note: after forever i'm back lol 😭 i started school again and lowkey lost motivation to write so this has been in the works for weeks lol! enjoy <3

gif not mine!

you can count on one hand how many times carmy has called you by your real name. his go-to pet names are honey (he would say hon most often), baby (when he's trying to persuade you, when he’s whining about something, or when he feels guilty), and sweetheart (when he's feeling extra romantic and lovey-dovey). even when you two are fighting or on the very rare occasion that his anger's directed at you, he rarely uses your name

one time when you had stayed over, you left your shampoo at carm's place and he made mistake of using it just to try it out because the next day richie noticed

"did you rob a fuckin' hair salon, cousin?"

"what the fuck do you mean, richie?"

"the fuck do you mean? what is this shit, herbal essences?" richie says, sniffing carmy's hair.

poor boy would turn red from head to toe and never touch your anything of yours ever again

this one's sad but like- it's kinda important i think

obviously mike's death really fucked carmy up. you see him pushing away, detaching himself from the people who love him (just like mikey did). but you coming into his life really forces him to wake the fuck up. family is forever but you're something in carmy's life that isn't guaranteed and that he genuinely has to work for if he wants you around long-term

and he's so terrified to fuck it up but after you assure him over and over again that you don't intend to go anywhere he starts to loosen up a tiny bit and let you in

his family and everyone else at the restaurant can see the effect you're having on him, and even though they were a little apprehensive at first, they're so glad that carmy has you in his life

okay enough emotional stuff :,)

i know we don't see him read in the show but something in me tells me that he'd love a good library date. he raids the cookbook section, you clear out half of the romance section, and then you'd have a picnic in a park after and read each other's books and swap ideas

carmy dog-ears the pages of the borrowed cookbooks to make note of later. even though you've scolded him a thousand times not to fold the pages, he just can't help but forget, okay? old habits die hard

"look, baby, it's not my intention to hurt the book, okay? i swear. this is just easier than using a bookmark"

his favorite fruits are plums (with the skin on) or granny smith apples (also with the skin on)

would 1000% name a dish after you

keeps his hand in yours or on your thigh while he drives with the other hand

he has to set his alarm at least half an hour before he actually needs to get up so he can hit snooze 3 times

speaking of sleep we all know this poor man barely gets any so on the rare occasion that he does he can be out for hours at a time no joke

when you first started sleeping over at his place more, sometimes it would scare when he woke up and saw you sound asleep next to him because you seemed too good to be real :,)

one time he was teaching you proper knife technique before you were officially together; he put his hand over yours on the knife and even though he looked calm on the outside, he was freaking the FUCK out on the inside but for the life of him he couldn't tell why (it's called a crush carmy look it up)

i know it's hard to imagine carmy having a least favorite food because he is a chef, but idk; i feel like it would be cornbread 😭 something abt it just makes no sense to him. he thought maybe it was because he's had bad cornbread, so he made it for himself once and still didn't like it. who would put corn in bread? what was the reason?!

he always keeps you on the innermost part of the sidewalk whenever you're walking together

this isn't even a headcanon bc we all saw it on the show but 😭 this man's EYE CONTACT. good lord. the best (and worst) part is he isn't even aware of the power it holds on you; he would literally stare at you whenever you would talk and you'd get all flustered and he would just be completely clueless as to why

he LOVES it when you grip onto his arms while you’re fucking and he constantly teases you for being so obsessed with them 👀 any time he feels like skipping a workout he just thinks about that and boom he’s motivated

“you sure you wanna go out to eat? i can just make us somethin’ real quick”

would definitely get a tattoo for you once you guys got serious! something cute and simple (idk much abt tattoos lol); would love it if you had a matching one on you in a place that only he could see 👀

neck kisses are his absolute favorite. especially from behind when he gets to completely bury his face in your neck and kiss it into oblivion

literally ever since i saw carm take those jeans out of the oven my brain has been stuck on the idea that has an odd but endearing obsession with vintage levis lol 😭 one time, after the bear had opened up and completely taken off, he stayed up all night on ebay and scored a vintage type ii trucker jacket after furiously bidding on it for over an hour like a mad man

this man's always using his hands so i can totally picture his fingers doing all sorts of weird things to fidget. absentmindedly drumming his fingers on your thighs, rubbing strands of hair between his thumb and pointer finger-- literally anything to keep his hands occupied

“is this too spicy or no?”

always insists that you don't have to come to the restaurant to help but is secretly over-the-moon when you do. seeing you help with the dishes, or scold richie, or laugh with tina just makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside (and makes him wanna start a family with you oops)

if he sees you he has to give you a full hug. he’s not a side hug kind of guy when it comes you. even if he has to drop what he’s doing in the kitchen and wipe his hands! he always gives you an all-encompassing bear hug and kisses you on the forehead and the lips- it’s his signature greeting :,)

#carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto headcanon #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto headcanon #onestopfanficshop

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podcastenthusiast · 2 years

Text

Three little drabbles featuring Geralt "Horse Girl" of Rivia and different animals, from Jaskier's POV.

---

1. Horse

Jaskier realized it a few weeks into this new witcher-following, song-composing venture. Specifically, when he went to eat the last apple and was told in no uncertain terms that it's for Roach, even though their food rations were running worringly low and they were a day's ride from the next village. Even though he's a fragile human. Even though she could literally just eat grass.

The mare outranked him. She had seniority.

He tried to befriend the horse, with middling success.

He tried to befriend the witcher, too.

At least Roach could be bribed with a carrot or a handful of raisins.

People project a lot of their own feelings onto animals, he supposed. It's a relationship designed to be unequal. As complex or as simple as a person wants it to be.

For a while, he had started to resent her a little, as pathetic as that may sound. That is, until he woke in the middle of the night and overheard a murmured, rather one-sided conversation.

"I worry about him, though," Geralt was saying. "Can't exactly just find a new bard and start calling him Jaskier if something happens, can I."

What?

"Wish he'd shut up sometimes, but... I guess it's been kind of nice having someone around who talks back."

Jaskier's heart felt like it might burst or break. Or both.

"Not that you aren't good company, old girl."

Roach gave a quiet snort.

That was all years ago, now. The horse is different, but still somehow Roach.

He is different, too, but somehow still Jaskier. Still the reliable bard his friend needs him to be.

Now, he watches from his spot by the campfire as Geralt brushes through Roach's mane. The witcher's got drowner brains in his own hair but gods forbid he has a wash before his trusty companion is completely tended to. He's very gentle with her, which is probably why she tolerates it as well as she does. He's heard tales of stablehands losing fingers to routine grooming before.

Jaskier wishes he could write a ballad about this without potentially damaging his fearsome reputation-- the unbreakable bond between a witcher and his horse. The unexpected tenderness of hands made to kill.

He reaches for his quill to jot down a few ideas. Something something the mighty wolf and the wild horse, loyal and brave companions defending their forest home together. Keep it vague enough. Maybe a folktale vibe.

Besides, Jaskier thinks with a touch of bitterness, the wolf's tongue is the real danger. His jaws that snap at anyone foolish enough to get too close, to offer help when he's caught in a trap.

...Maybe he still has some feelings to work through.

The wolf also has a heart he tries so hard to bury. Jaskier can see it. Always has.

"You spoil her rotten, you know," he remarks lightly, plucking on his lute strings. "She eats better than we do."

"It's like sharpening my swords. I have to keep Roach in good condition, or we don't eat at all."

"Mhm. And it's very sweet."

He no longer begrudges Roach her well-earned place at Geralt's side. The witcher had been alone out here for such a long time before he came along, probably will be again after he's dead and buried. Even if Jaskier does wish that he could be the one Geralt trusts with his innermost thoughts and secrets and sleepless night fears, he is glad the man has someone in whom he can confide.

They all have their roles in this story. Perhaps he ought to accept his as its scribe, and let that be enough.

But Jaskier's greatest fault, he knows, is an always has been his refusal to accept things as they are.

2. Cat

"Oh, look at that. Someone's cat has gone missing. Poor thing."

"We're here for real work, Jaskier," Geralt says, scanning a contract notice. Recent plague. Graves disturbed. Ghouls. See alderman for details. Bit dull.

"They're offering a reward. See?"

"Somehow I doubt a small child has enough coin to justify ignoring the ghouls."

"Says here you'll get their eternal gratitude and-- oh! The lady of the house will darn your socks free of charge for a full year. Any additional mending at a discount. Now that's a good deal."

"Hm."

"Geralt, as you know my favorite doublet is in a sorry state after that minor werewolf incident--"

"I told you to stay with Roach."

"--All water under the bridge now, of course, and what an adventure! Worthy of a fine ballad--"

"Jaskier."

"--as this would be. Can't you at least keep one keen witchery eye out for the cat?"

"And risk a ghoul catching me off guard? Sure."

"Well, now you're just being silly. Don't tell me you're a dog person. Or are you allergic?"

Geralt sighs, realizing now that only the truth will free him from this conversation.

"Don't mind cats," he mutters. "But they don't like me."

"Sorry, what?"

"Cats don't like me," he repeats. "They start hissing whenever I get too close."

Jaskier's expression is caught somewhere between disbelief and sadness. "Why?"

"I insulted their king. Why do you think? They've got more sense than certain humans, I guess."

It's a veiled remark. Jaskier sees right through it.

"You're not a monster, Geralt," he says, achingly sincere. Then, in a lighter tone, "Does that mean you've never pet a cat before?"

"I don't know. Maybe when I was very young. I can't remember."

Jaskier mercifully drops the subject after a quiet and thoughtful walk back to the village's tavern.

He doesn't fail to notice Geralt buying extra scraps of meat from the innkeeper, or how he sneaks away at night to set them like snares in promising locations near the village. He'd probably say it's for the ghoul contract if asked, but Jaskier knows better.

Even if he didn't, there is really no other explanation for Geralt returning to the inn on the second night, covered in claw marks, carrying a ghoul's severed head in one hand and a bag containing one squirming, hissing feline in the other.

3. Spider

"GERALT!"

Every witcher in Kaer Morhen hears the bard's scream, but Geralt reaches the room in moments, his silver sword already drawn.

"Jaskier, what--"

"Kill it!"

The bard is standing on his bed, pointing frantically at something. Geralt follows his panicked gaze and sees--

"Really, Jaskier?" He sighs.

"What are you waiting for? It's a monster! Kill it!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not a monster. Just a spider. Not even poisonous."

"How do you know?"

"I read." Geralt crouches down for a closer look at the spider. "Might look scary but it's harmless. Probably sought shelter from the cold."

"Well, then it can go right back outside."

"Jaskier, be reasonable."

"I am. Either the spider goes or I do."

The witcher looks thoughtful. Says nothing.

"Oh, thanks, Geralt! I feel so loved."

The spider crawls onto Geralt's hand and Jaskier almost screams again, shrinking back even farther. Gods, it has so many legs!

"Pretend it's a kikimora or something," he pleads. "Why won't you kill one little spider for your very dearest old friend in the world?"

"Because kikimoras have no niche. They're invasive, and need to be dealt with to maintain balance in the ecosystem. Spiders aren't like that; they do belong. A monster, fundamentally, is any creature that doesn't."

Jaskier just stares at him, speechless. He's not sure he has ever heard Geralt say that many words all at once.

Geralt's eyes remain on the spider. "Witchers aren't sent out on the Path not knowing why we kill; we're not soldiers."

"I never thought of it like that," Jaskier admits. "That spider's still fucking terrifying, though."

"Hm. I'll take it outside."

"Geralt?"

"Hm?"

"I know what scared, stupid people say about witchers sometimes. But I-- You do belong. You're important. Just want you to know that."

"...Thank you, Jaskier," he says. Then, quieter, "You too."

#the witcher netflix #the witcher #witcher fanfiction #geraskier fic #geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #witcher fic #I'm sad i can't pet cats in witcher 3 okay #horse girl geralt

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matan4il · 2 months

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Hi again!

So like you, I've been seeing a steep rise in people being openly antisemitic and just hateful in general to people, both in Israel and anyone who so much as shows compassion for people on that side of the conflict (even to Palestinians and Israelis showing solidarity for each other! Which is maddening to think anyone would condemn such a thing). And I know it must be hard, to be living through such horrible things, and then to be hated as if you're somehow part of the cause of such atrocities.

I know it isn't much, I'm only one voice out here in the void, but I felt like you deserved some positivity today, and to be reminded that what you're doing is good and important. You've always brought a smile to my face, back in the day for silly fandom things (Buddie metas, my beloved), but seeing what you do now... I don't think I have the words to exress how much I admire your bravery and relentlessness in the face of such adversity.

So to you, and to all those trying to survive and stay sane, my thoughts and prayers are with you. There will be a light on the other side of all this. Stay strong, my friend. And remember too that when your strength alone fails, it's okay to lean on someone for support. *hugs* ♡

My darling Jesse! *hugs you so tight*

I'm so sorry it took me a while to reply, but I swear I'm doing my best, and I appreciate you so much. I will never forget that time on that discrod server, I won't go on too much about it, but you were the only one with a humane reaction, and that is invaluable. Please know that I see you for the strong, brave, compassionate human that you are, and I am sending you all the love! <333

even to Palestinians and Israelis showing solidarity for each other

Which says it all, doesn't it? Those people aren't pro-Palestinian, they're not pro-peace, they're just anti-Israel, which is actually anti-Jewish (they're indifferent to the well being of Israeli Arabs, just as they are to that of Palestinians. It's Israel, as a Jewish state and the world's biggest Jewish community, which triggers them).

It is hard to live through these atrocities, and then realize the world will absolutely kick you when you're down for being Jewish, even though it's veiled in (and sold to others through) all sorts of excuses.

In our Holocaust museum, we have a short movie of testimonies from survivors who had lived through Kristallnacht, but managed to make it to Israel after that and before the outbreak of WWII, so they lived. It has an unofficial title, "The blow came from within." For all other European and Middle Eastern Jews who were there, the Holocaust happened due to another nation, the Germans. With help from local collaborators for sure, but the initial blow came from the outside. German Jews experienced this blow as coming from within, from the innermost part of their identity as both Jews and Germans, when they didn't know how to separate these two parts.

Because they so believed in the idea that they're now a part of the German nation, they had lots of German friends. And they were sure that these friends saw them as them, as people, rather than through the lense of antisemitism. When Kristallnacht happened, German Jews experienced a devastating betrayal. We have a much higher number of suicides among German Jews at the start of the Holocaust, than in any other Jewish community, because they really did feel like this blow, of discovering they're not people to their own friends and countrymen, destroyed a part of who they thought they are, and how they're seen and accepted by their society.

This week, when I came across even more people I used to be friends with, who have engaged in de-humanizing me, it dawned on me that this is now my experience, too. This blow comes from within, from people who I thought knew me as a person, knew that I'm kind, knew that I'm humane, knew that through my grandparents' experiences as Holocaust survivors, I care deeply about the issue of genocide, and yet apparently none of that matters, and they went straight ahead with vilifying me personally, in addition to vilifying my people, and engaging actively in spreading the narrative that harms us. It's truly startling to realize that it's been over 85 years, and this is still how we're treated by too many.

But for every mob full of hate and ignorance (and that's what online echo chambers have become), a single voice that does listen and does care means that much more. So please know how much you matter to me, and that you make a difference, too. Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words, you brought tears to my eyes, in a really good way, and I cherish you so very much. It's my honor that we're friends (and I'm extra happy that you enjoyed my fandom stuff).

I hope you're doing well, lovely! Gonna keep sending love your way, always. xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

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beekeeperspicnic · 1 year

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What a nice day to reconceptualise my entire game

Last night I reblogged this lovely post from @inkonice-main talking about Holmes and Watson's relationship as a great love story (whether romantic or platonic), and it's been clanging around in my brain ever since.

Just in case you stumbled across this post randomly, I'm currently making a cosy mystery Sherlock Holmes game set in Sussex, which has Holmes trying to put together a picnic for Watson. My plan is to write them in a close platonic friendship or queerplatonic partnership because that interpretation means a lot to me, but to keep it shipper friendly and leave the possibility open that they are a romantic couple.

The problem I've been toying over for the entire six months of development so far is WHY Holmes has decided to drop everything and make this ultimate picnic for Watson. What's his motivation, dah-ling?

And I've cycled through a few ideas:

He doesn't need a reason, elaborate theatre is how he shows affection. Perhaps true, but that doesn't give much of an emotional base for the game.

It's all sparked off by Watson writing and publishing the Creeping Man, the story with all the "The relations between us in those latter days were peculiar" content. But it never quite flowed for me. If Watson is happy with Holmes in Sussex, why is he writing so discontentedly? It also felt like telling-not-showing for players.

I thought perhaps it could be spurred on by Holmes having a nightmare where he's back on a case everything goes wrong. He realises that both he and Watson are in the twilight of their lives and if he doesn't tell Watson plainly how he feels, he may lose the chance. This is closer to working for me, but I think a dream being a character's primary motivation is silly and lazy, and this anxiety Holmes has doesn't seem reflected in the fact that they're living together happily. To the player it's obvious Watson already knows Holmes loves him, so there's no tension.

Then I read that post, and it all clicked. Because let's look at the Canon: it is a love story, but like most love stories of glorious intensity, things have not always run smoothly.

Holmes has withheld truths. He pretended to be dead for years. He constantly toys with his health and causes Watson pain and anxiety. All the paths Watson laid out for his life have been disrupted by his adoration of this brilliant but challenging man. Years of living together at this frantic, breakneck, head-over-heels pace seem to have taken their toll: Holmes suddenly wants to retreat from the world and take up his beekeeping, and Watson remarries and doesn't follow him, as he needs to live his own life. By His Last Bow, it seems they haven't seen each other for years.

"We heard of you as living the life of a hermit among your bees and your books in a small farm upon the South Downs," says Watson, suggesting he's never visited. But they reconnect, and thankfully the spark between them is still there. War is looming on the horizon, and both fear it may take their lives - "Stand with me here upon the terrace, for it may be the last quiet talk that we shall ever have," says Holmes.

That's where we leave them, looking out over a moonlit sea waiting for the dawn, exchanging words that they fear will be parting ones.

But the reader is left with the hope that perhaps they won't be parted again this time. War can't separate these two, surely? Nothing can.

So. That's where the picnic comes in, as a last coda in this great love story.

The War is over. Holmes and Watson have reunited. Perhaps Watson visits Holmes more often now, widowed once again. And Holmes realises that what both of them need now is to be together.

Except how does he say that, as someone who does not share his innermost thoughts easily?

The picnic represents the one chance that Holmes feels he has to say, I've treated you badly. I've made mistakes. But we can get through them, because we love each other. Let's not be parted ever again. Come and stay with me here.

The picnic isn't just a picnic.

It's a proposal.

So like, no pressure, players. :P

EDIT:

Just to clarify because I think my wording confused some folks - My plan is still to write them in a close platonic friendship or queerplatonic partnership and to keep it shipper friendly and leave the possibility open that they are a romantic couple.

The change is just that in my original storyline Watson had been living with Holmes for years, and now I'm playing with the idea of exploring the picnic being the moment when they commit to living together for the rest of their lives.

#beekeepers picnic #sherlock holmes #his last bow #johnlock #acd johnlock #holmes and watson #sussex retirement #game dev thoughts

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pigeonwit · 3 months

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hi i was last anon (i was nervous sorry) uhhh can u give us more thoughts on transfem jack…

i just think its one of those headcanons that just,,, makes SENSE yknow. its not my default for jack as a character but its one of those things that clicks into place and makes you go 'ohhhh yeah. yeah that'd make sense.' like a big thing for jack as a character is they're never allowed to express any vulnerability in the show. they HAVE to be the leader, they HAVE to be the protector, they HAVE to be this one-note hypermasculine force that everyone they care about can rely on and everyone who could threaten them will be intimidated by and its killing them. the only times jack is openly vulnerable is when they're by themself in 'santa fe', with katherine in 'something to believe in', and ONE line with davey ('its good to have you back again' 'shut up') and even then thats debatable. and jack being transfem really recontextualizes that because vulnerability of any kind is still to this day considered feminine and (especially for those who are viewed as masculine) weak. which just makes it more poignant when jack is allowed to be vulnerable imo.

i dont know if jack would be able to be open about their identity in canon era right away. jack the cowboy is a persona that keeps them protected, and they need to maintain that for as long as they're a newsie. but i think they'd trust some people with it. medda would be a big one; she creates this very safe place for jack in the theatre, its one of the only two places in the show we're able to see jack show their innermost feelings. i like to think that through this soft and reassuring place she makes for jack, she encourages them to be more Them. like if jacks a little too enamoured with the stage makeup the bowery beauties use, or if they stare at the feathers a little too long. i think medda's the one they feel safest and most assured expressing femininity around.

(btw fuck you *psychically airdrops jack in bowery beauty makeup into your mind*)

that being said, i think spot's a close second. spot's always been the one to say that being a girl doesnt make her weak, but being tough doesn't make her any less a girl, either - and i know a lot of fanon believes they had some kind of sibling-ish relationship as they grew up, so there's got to be a lot of trust there. i like to think they bring jack to some girls poker games and all the other girls figure it out pretty quick - there are definitely some trans girls at brooklyn - and even if some of the brooklyn girls dont totally get it, they'll still respect it.

they'd obviously talk to katherine about it, but not right away, even when they do start seeing each other. katherine holds a lot more societal power than jack does so even though they've had their breakthrough together and know they can rely on one another and express their vulnerabilities to each other, i still think jack would be wary. i think the more they get to know katherine's life and the company she keeps (i know she's covered for bill and darcy SO much) they start opening up bit by bit. katherine's nothing but supportive. i know her autistic girl swag ass is looking for any kind of resource on gender nonconformity she can find.

davey and jack i imagine have pretty frequent conversations about feeling different, feeling wrong. imo, davey listens more than he talks (and he talks a LOT) so i think this is something davey might've picked up on before jack ever had to tell him. neither of them would have the vocabulary to explain it, but i don't think they'd need it. i like to think they agree to move in together as they grow older and leave the lodging house, and that davey goes out of his way to make sure jack feels comfortable expressing themself there, as its probably one of the only places they could.

crutchie is interesting because while he and jack are the closest friendship in newsies, in a way they're both constantly performing to each other - jack with their big 'run away to santa fe' fantasy and crutchie with his constant blend of pessimism and cockiness that keeps him from dreaming too big, but also from thinking of himself as small. so in a way i think crutchie is the person of jack's close circle that they tell last. and i think crutchie might privately be a bit hurt about that but i think he'd still understand why it had to be that way. and even then i dont think he's anything other than protective and supportive. big brother crutchie forever.

thats kind of it, i think. obviously in canon era its something that'd have to be kept under wraps but i think with jacks whole 'sensitive artist' lifestyle they'd eventually find a community where they can Be without judgement. but as it stands they have their family to rely on.

#THANK YOU MX DAVEYSEXUAL THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RANT ABOUT THIS!!!#man. transfem jack huh.#newsies #uksies #jack kelly #ask

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thisreputable · 4 months

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omega!ghost x fem!alpha!soap thoughts

bear with me plz. so, august of last year i read an omega!ben x alpha!rey fic that has lived rent free in my head ever since. ben had isolated himself, doing research that kept him far from civilization - far from alphas - until rey shows up

now, imagine. big, silent, deadly ghost who keeps to himself, begrudgingly accepts he needs to interact with the others of the 141, if only to kept things cohesive out on missions. accepts the fact he had to socialize a little. keeps it to the bare minimum, though. never volunteers anything personal: his past, family, plans for the future, designation. sometimes he'll give short, clipped answers, simple questions. tea over coffee, mystery novels (will never, ever admit, even under pain of death, his love for bodice rippers). action/adventure movies with a sprinkling of sci-fi. nothing too deep. nothing anyone could potentially use against him.

(price knows some things. more than most for sure. an unfortunate necessity as ghost's CO. not everything. not what or who ghost is under industrial strength blockers and the best suppressants money can buy. under the mask where simon lurks.)

so ghost's innermost everything is locked up tighter than america's fort knox. impenetrable. inscrutable. impossible to know beyond mere surface level. even then, the mask assures it's not something likely to happen.

enter joan "soap" mactavish, the newest member of the 141.

loud. young. offensively confident. vibrant. unafraid. alpha.

she smells like his and it terrifies him.

everything ghost has tried to steer clear of for longer than he can remember. since before he died and clawed himself out of the ground. since before betrayal, and being the last riley, and learning the taste of his own blood in his mouth. before ghost and ghoulish masks and too many scars to count.

since the shape of his father's meaty fists bloomed purple-red across a pale canvas. since useless and pathetic and omega became synonymous with simon.

she's everything he fears and hates and admires and envies and desires and covets. everything he ever wished but could never be.

he does his best to steer clear of her. does his job, of course. would never let anything keep him from completing his objectives, keep him from making sure everyone on his team made it back in one piece. wouldn't jeopardize the one good thing in his life just because an alpha has his skin prickling and his hind brain whining for something he'll never be worthy of.

soap's a force of nature unto herself, though. persistent doesn't begin to describe her. every obstacle he attempts to put in her way, she bulldozes right through them. leaves a trail of destruction in her wake with a beatific smile on her face and a manic, gleeful light in her too-blue eyes.

for whatever reason, she's set her eyes on ghost and nothing he does or says seems to sway her from getting closer to him. she seeks him out if they're ever in the same room. will lean into his personal space. will ask him question after question and stare until he gives her an answer good enough to satisfy her curiosity. will sit next to him during meals and shamelessly nab food from his tray before giving him things off of hers (he steadfastly ignores the warmth that pulses in his chest when he realizes everything she puts on his plate are things that he enjoys).

will place a steady hand on his arm or shoulder or back (the one time she touched his chest is seared into his memory). doesn't blink when he flinches. will just smile - a little smile that has too many meanings for ghost to parse - before staring him right in the eye and touching him again. like she's daring him to run away, to tell her to stop.

he never does, tongue tied and mind wiped of every thought.

he doesn't know what she wants, is the thing. to be friends? colleagues? more? less? to be the first to peel back a layer of the thing called ghost and brag to everyone else that she's succeeded where so many others have failed?

to be one soul inhabiting two separate bodies?

eventually, though, he buckles under her continued attentions. like all man made things when faced with the awesome power of nature, his defenses are washed away, eroded until nothing remains but the tender core of a man. of an omega desperate to feel wanted and desired and safe.

until all that's left in the aftermath is simon.

it's terrifying. he feels naked. scraped raw. unmasked. seen.

he expects many things once she corners him in his office and he gives in. expects condemnation. ridicule. confusion. scathing remarks as to his designation. expects to be left in tatters after she realizes that her efforts were wasted on him.

instead, she kisses him. instead, she slides a gun calloused hand to the back of his neck and pulls him down, down, down until their lips meet. instead, she steals the breath from his lungs and the thoughts from his stuttering mind and his awareness of the world beyond a flimsy door.

ghost is remade, reborn, in the seconds-hours-years they kiss. he's left gasping, knees weak and hands fisted in soap's ridiculous (stupidly attractive and absolutely against regulations) mohawk, in the aftermath. it takes more effort than he's willing to admit for his eyes to flutter open. he's met by a sight that steals his breath all over again.

soap's eyes are blown wide, pupils rimmed by the crimson of an alpha barely grasping at self-control. a delightfully fetching blush has spread from her cheeks down the column of her throat. her lips are glossy with their shared spit, swollen and tender looking. just beyond them, he can see a hint of wickedly sharp fangs.

she's the most beautiful person he's ever seen. it's almost debilitating how much he wants her. how much he wants to be hers.

"mine," she says and it takes his foggy mind an embarrassing amount of time to realize that that wasn't some kind of auditory hallucination. that she's just... staked her claim on him. just like that.

ghost is left blinking owlishly, mouth opening and closing but unable to form a comprehensive thought, much less words.

well.

"my simon." a purr underscores her claim. "my omega."

and who's ghost to tell her otherwise? how could he possibly deny her the one thing that has ever felt right in his long, wretched life?

and then something something sudden heat and rut something something reverse knotting something something claiming bites something something years later something something retirement and pups something something they lived happily ever after

...yeah. just a silly little thot 🙂

#ghoap #ghostsoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod #call of duty #omegaverse #fem!soap #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #into the wips folder

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