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#so there were four of us in class
voskhozhdeniye · 3 months
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 8 months
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uh-oh she's gushing about shinon again and it's super long
So you guys know I love Shinaff. BUT!!! I would like to explain to you part of how that came to be, i.e. how Janaff's supports with Shinon were both different and important!!! In other words, a direct exploration of his development involving laguz and how he's turning out for the better post Janaff A support and RD (and how it makes the most sense to have their A support slotted between the beginning of PoR and the end of RD for a full progression of his development)!
First of all, Shinon only has three supports; so unlike most characters, every line counts and needs to hold more weight to his conversations.
Rolf and Gatrie's supports portray different sides of him: the mentor and the friend. What we see in these supports is stuff we essentially already knew about him, but we're given more depth. The thing to note here is, again, we already knew these things about him. This is the man we started with.
What we don't get in these supports is proper development. Janaff is the only support he has that gives him that. Janaff's supports with him are the only ones that gives him any self reflection and improvement. This isn't necessarily a bad thing for the other supports, but it's more that it props up these ones a little bit more.
Also, when you get to RD, Shinon comes off as though he's already gotten this development. He feels like he's grown as a person. While that makes sense, from a player's perspective, we didn't really see that development in him (like we would have with characters like Ike, Mist, Soren, etc)... unless you supported him with Janaff.
In RD, Shinon has Gatrie and Rolf as bonded by defaults. These are basically internal bonds in RD - ones that aren't needed by supports. You can carry over support data from PoR to RD, and characters will receive a bond with the character they A supported. For some, like Ranulf and Ike, these bonds will be there regardless of if they got an A support.
That means that even without supporting them in PoR, Shinon will bonded to these two by default. Janaff is his only other support, so if they reach an A support and that data is carried over to RD, he now has his full list of supports bonded to him. Mind you, that's a liiittle bit of a big deal (and kinda cool to me!) as nobody else can do that (or almost nobody, since I'm not totally positive what Stefan and Volke's situations are and would have to check on that in my game, as the only other characters with an extremely low amount of supports).
So why do I say that's important? Because the only character he won't have by default as a bond is Janaff. You have to go out of your way to get their support bond (and when I say out of your way, I mean it pretty literally if you don't normally use one or both of them, due to how PoR's support system works). Janaff is the only character Shinon has to build up a bond with from scratch, which is something the player has to decide to do.
Gatrie and Rolf are the base - the bare minimum. It's given to you, no questions asked. Shinon doesn't have to develop as a person to have those bonds. When Janaff arrives in 3-7, if they were A supported in PoR (and your data was carried over), he and Shinon automatically have their bond show up in the bond list on each of their profiles as of the turn Janaff is on the map. This also means they can get a double A support, which is, again, something Shinon has very few options for.
Without Janaff, Shinon doesn't get that extremely direct development. In RD it's assumed all the characters had development of some sort (example, Shinon is much more chilled out and takes a much more active role in watching out for the GMs and making sure they're properly funded). However, with the way Shinon's development toward laguz went, you'd think something must have happened for him to change his mind.
However, it's an uncontestable fact that Ike stated everyone in the GMs decided to stay knowing full well they'd be fighting for the Laguz Alliance:
"I told the others they could leave if they didn’t want to work with laguz, but everybody decided they’d rather stay. Don’t worry about it, Ranulf."
If they didn't want to work with laguz (Shinon and Soren would be the primary candidates he brought this up for), they didn't have to go. They didn't have to take part. They didn't have to be there. Shinon decided to stay despite fully aware they would be the only beorc there. That's development already... but if he supported Janaff, it starts to make more sense and feels like a proper linear path for his development.
"But DCB, he was racist toward Lyre!" Sure! He's not perfect and there's still room for growth. In fact, Shinon started out calling her a sub-human but referred to her as a laguz when Gatrie was the only one left to hear him, so he either:
is trying to keep up appearances in front of laguz he doesn't like, using sub-human to their face but not using that term in private anymore (or to laguz he doesn't hate, i.e. Janaff in their A support where he catches himself about to use that term. Though he wasn't quite ready to say "laguz" yet, he stopped himself from using "you sub-humans" and instead said "you guys").
slipped up in using sub-human (from habit*) and called her a laguz when speaking to Gatrie because he's becoming more used to using that term regularly. That is to say, it's becoming more natural for him to say.
If you got his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that he slips up sometimes still but is trying to speak more properly about laguz. Getting out of old habits is hard. Feeling differently about something you've had a steady mindset for (in his case for 27 years as per his support with Janaff) is hard. There will be slip ups.
*It's possible Shinon uses "sub-human" as an insult aimed at individuals he doesn't like while not meaning it toward others (i.e. he doesn't like Kyza and Lyre). Yes, this is a big flaw! He could very well be using a racist term to express distaste toward someone specific but not mean it toward the whole of laguz. It's still racist and shouldn't be done, but the fact that he turned around and said "laguz" only a couple sentences later (if that) means that something is kicking in and some gears are turning.
Again, if you look at his A support with Janaff, he wasn't even at the point of using "laguz" at all! If you consider their A support part of his linear development, he starts as he is in PoR, supports Janaff and goes through their conversations while seeing laguz differently now, and ultimately ends at respecting Janaff. Despite this, he's not ready to use "laguz" yet because he experiences with laguz to date, prior to Janaff, had all been presumably negative enough for him to develop this racist mindset.
Linearly, that brings us to RD. He's suddenly fine staying with the GMs and fighting a war on behalf of the Laguz Alliance, even when he was directly given an out. Next, we have him refer to a laguz as a laguz - something he wasn't able to do yet in PoR.
Does the linear progression stop there? Not if you supported Janaff! Following those things, again, when Janaff arrives in 3-7, their bond will show up in their profiles. These bonds are separate from RD support bonds in that they're basically saying these characters were bonded before the events of RD and thus have special bonuses near each other, regardless of if you support them in RD.
So where does this lead us? Well, like in PoR, we start to lose focus on the GMs as a whole and only end up with focus on a few of them. Our next line of progression can only come from supports again. These are notable and extremely important if he's supported with a laguz.
If it's Janaff you support him with in RD, he gets one of his standard support quotes in battle. Maybe you're thinking that sounds unimpressive and unimportant... but this means he's responding to Janaff as someone he's familiar with and not treating differently from the others (which is not the case when responding to several others, which I'll get to). Normally you'd expect him to treat a laguz differently, but he speaks with Janaff like he would to any beorc.
It gives off an air of familiarity - like they already know each other, are passed all that nonsense and aren't even thinking about it anymore. This is, of course, the case regardless of if you supported them in PoR (but again, I find their PoR supports to be important in terms of a proper, full linear progression of Shinon's development, which is something not every character actually even gets, i.e. they don't get a fully fleshed out and ongoing development story between both games if they're not a main character).
It's almost like it's considering that you may have gotten their PoR supports. It has to leave it up in the air as to whether or not you did, because it'd be odd if he was suddenly treating Janaff like they weren't as familiar with each other after getting their PoR supports. In other words, by default, their relationship in RD is not as bad as it starts in PoR in their C support. It feels like they've already supported and are closer now to be at this point.
So why is it important that he acts no different with Janaff than anyone else? Because he does act different near laguz kings. He's given special, personalized lines to the laguz kings and refers to them sincerely as laguz. Important to note is that the laguz kings only become playable in part four (Tibarn and Naesala) and Endgame (Caineghis).
These are characters he would have absolutely no chance at having any development with in either game prior (even if you consider time spent in PoR, Tibarn and Naesala are not playable until the final chapter and you can only pick one of them. Caineghis, plain and simple, is not even an option). That means his supports with them are the very beginning of their relationship.
This is by part four. There's been development since part three in his character that we don't see. He's now openly referring to them as only "laguz" (remember, he was back and forth earlier in RD). He treats them with respect.
"But DCB, of course he does! They're kings! They're powerful!" But the Shinon we started out with in PoR wouldn't have cared less. To him back then a sub-human was a sub-human. Even as allies, he wouldn't have respected them (re: his C support with Janaff). Instead, here, in RD with these supports, he can talk with laguz directly, refer to them as such, and give them respect.
He also doesn't start out being intentionally racist toward them. He's at the point, by the time he can support the laguz kings, where he skips right past the active "sub-human" bullshit.
What do I mean by that? Well... I mean with Tibarn, he almost says sub-human but catches himself and doesn't just say "you guys" like he did with Janaff in their A support (which came before his C support with Tibarn if you consider his development linear and including Janaff). He corrects himself, and instead uses "a king" - similar to his "you guys" pull back, but outright referring to him as a king is actually a step above that (and again, this is their C support).
King Tibarn. It seems like a sub-hu– I mean–a king such as yourself can hold your own.
He's learning! He's growing! He's maturing! He's realizing he can get out of that mindset! All his experiences prior to PoR, based on his supports with Janaff, would imply he's only ever known that he has to protect himself against them. He never got to actually meet one. When he did, it was hard to pull himself out of old habits for new experiences. He was trying for Janaff, but he wasn't quite there yet. Here, he does something very similar.
With the other kings, he just outright refers to them as kings with no stumbles.
Hey, Lion King! Of anybody here, it seems like you’d be just fine.
Raven King, you seem all right. No need to be babied, I hope.
Mind you, the latter is pretty standard Shinon in personality. It's unrelated to Naesala being a laguz. However, both are these are completely respectful as a person talking to another person.
For his B supports we have:
I thought you were the all-conquering King Caineghis! And yet, you mess up. Bizarre. You better stay by me.
Hawk King, whew, even you mess up sometimes. Kinda makes me nervous. You better stay by me.
Raven King–your fighting? Not good. Just…stay by me and let me handle this.
Bizarre, he says, that one of the strongest people he knows is having trouble. He's actually surprised. No comment about how sub-humans suck or anything, not here!
Similarly, even Tibarn messes up sometimes. He's surprised. He expects basically perfectly from Tibarn (so this presumes he has positive expectations of him from what he knows of Tibarn).
Naesala's fighting isn't good? Well what does PoR Shinon care! Let him die! But that's not RD Shinon (and remember, these quotes could've been anything else considering he got specifically personalized quotes with these three, and personalized quotes for RD supports are somewhat few and tend to be for specific pairs).
Stay by me, he says! The same things he'll say to anyone! To any beorc and to any laguz. Again, personalized quotes did exist and they were there for certain pairs. Those pairs got special quotes specifically for their relationship). He didn't avoid saying "stay by me" just because they were laguz.
Mind you, his support quotes with these three are much more respectful than usual Shinon. He's very, uh, hilariously Shinon (there is a word for this, however at this time I cannot think of it 😔. I am not thinking of sarcastic, I am thinking of... something else. Granted, these lines are directed to Reyson and Rafiel, who technically can't fight... so I'll give him a break on that one) in most of his quotes, and some don't sound particularly respectful ("Prince ___, it’s really hard to watch you fight. Why don’t you stay by me and let me handle this?").
Now for the A supports (and BOY HOWDY I'M EATIN' GOOD HERE)...
You know, I’m not one for making friends and being nice. But, Caineghis, I gotta say, you are one bad laguz. In a good way! Hang in there.
I gotta admit… I didn’t like you when I first met you. But, Prince ___, I hope you make it through all this. I was wrong about you.
You know, I really don’t care who lives and who dies. But, Hawk King, for a laguz– hey, for anyone–you seem pretty decent. I hope you make it.
You know, I never thought I’d say this, but… King ___, I’m thinkin’ you should live. Don’t ask me why! Just a crazy notion. Maybe I like you?
Not one for making friends and being nice in general, with beorc, but he's befriending a laguz? Well now! What would PoR Shinon pre-Janaff say!
If you need me to explain the lines to Reyson and Rafiel to you, I have no hope for you at this point. If you can't read "I was wrong about you" and understand what that means, you might need to go back to school. In fact you definitely do.
For a laguz - no, scratch that because that doesn't fucking matter anymore - for anyone - you seem pretty decent (<-- this is the way Shinon talks to everyone).
Maybe he likes Naesala? Maybe they're friends? Maybe he just admitted he's fond of a laguz? Maybe he just said he likes a laguz??? Gosh jolly, early PoR Shinon is rolling in his grave!
So uhhh, what does this have to do with Janaff? Well, like I said, I feel like their supports slot perfectly into Shinon's development that's going to exist anyway. It's like the middle part of it that you get to see but also may miss out on. It's like jumping from PoR to RD and wondering what on earth happened in between to bring Shinon to that point... and if you consider his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that that's what happened. It fills that gap, and it also slots in perfectly with where he is in his development as a character between two games.
Timeline:
PoR start - Shinon hates laguz. He seems to hate them for reasons unknown. Greil dies; Shinon leaves. Chapter 18 is reached and Shinon is recruited back into the GMs. Despite that the GMs are now working with the Crimean army which has actively allied itself with the beast and bird tribes, Shinon whatevers his way through that fact and rejoins. He'll tolerate, he guesses. Fam is here.
Cue Janaff supports. New birb, who dis, except he's rude! Yes folks, it was Janaff who was rude first (his lines were also very Janaff... who is very like Shinon, so it makes sense that would get a negative reaction from Shinon even if he was a beorc). Shinon is set off and now thinks he was right to hate laguz. Look at this annoying birb face and his dumb lil hat!!! Better threaten to kill him just to be safe...
B support, they're having a conversation and learning from each other because Janaff came over to apologize. He knows he was in the wrong to nag at Shinon just for being an unfamiliar face. Shinon is still pissy though because it's a goddamn birb with a hat!!! Their conversation is a mix of ugh fuck this annoying guy to actually talking things out... and Shinon admitting why he hates laguz - because he's always needed to protect himself from "those half breeds". Sounds like his only experiences were very negative, so he ends up racist. Well, Janaff was also racist until very recently for similar reasons, and he used to think all beorc liked to kill. He, too, had misconceptions that bred a racist hatred. Now, though, with Shinon talking to him, he's realized he was wrong about beorc and is open to seeing things differently. Shinon backtracks, realizing he's having this conversation with the birb with a hat and wonders why.
A support, they talk more and it's getting better... and Janaff not only admits to relating to Shinon - which is a nice touch because they're two sides of the same coin who are both still very much learning about each other's races - and mind you Janaff was racist at 110 years old so he's been doing this shit for a while! It was because he talked with Shinon and learned more about beorc that, on top of what Ike did for Leanne, he's being more open minded now. Janaff, understanding where Shinon is coming from (ignorance and misconceptions), is much more polite and kind to him. Shinon, in response, backtracks when he almost uses the racist term "sub-human" so as not to offend Janaff, leaves off here respecting him and, when Janaff has to leave because the support is over, calls him back because he wants to hear more about the world from him because Janaff has lived for so much longer. Maybe the birb with the hat isn't so bad at all after all!!
From here the GMs fight with laguz allies until the end of PoR. Two or three years pass idk shit's inconsistent I guess, and we get to RD.
By this point Shinon has already been in an army that allied with and fought alongside laguz, and maybe that's tempered his feelings. When given an out from joining the other GMs in their aiding of the Laguz Alliance, and as the only beorc, he chooses to stay with the group.
At this point he's back and forth with "sub-human" and "laguz". There's definitely improvement, but old habits still get out sometimes. Still though, he's progressed from "you guys" to outright using "laguz".
The laguz kings join in the fight against Ashera. Shinon can support them, getting personalized quotes specifically for them (and for the herons). With Tibarn, he catches himself and corrects what he almost said - something he did once before with Janaff as per this linear timeline. That's the only instance left of a mistake in his wording. By now he's not using "sub-human" at all (B and A support with Tibarn or C-A with Caineghis or Naesala), or he's freely and without stumbling using "laguz" with no "you guys" esque backtrack.
This is obviously only one aspect of Shinon's development, i.e. the development of him growing out of racism similar to Janaff, and there are more aspects to him that did develop and grow throughout both games, but this post was specifically to highlight the importance of having Janaff there as part of his growth. Without it, it's like a blank, empty spot in his development where you don't know how it started happening and to such a degree (how did he go from outright using sub-human to using laguz at all? It feels like there had to be something in the middle of that growth, and without Janaff's supports it's just missing.
With them though, it's quite clear how he reasonably went from sub-human to "you guys" to laguz with some slip ups (ones that he corrects himself with if he actually respects the person, in this case Tibarn. He didn't bother correcting it with Lyre and Kyza because he didn't like them, which again, is still a flaw, but that was prior to his ability to support the laguz kings. It would be more reasonable to say he's starting to grow out of using "sub-human" just to specific people as an insult by this point.
Mans ain't perfect, but he's trying and he's working on it. Why is that without Janaff involved in his development? I 'unno, I guess he just had some random offscreen development between the games. With Janaff though? It actually works, fits and makes sense. It feels like that part of his development is meant to be there, as it compliments his development going forward.
that's it that's all i had to say bye now
#Shinon#there is quoted evidence so nobody can say im just bias and making shit up 😤#anyway he's a multi faceted character AND gets development which FE does NOT usually do for non-main characters!#they especially don't usually get BOTH of those things!#Shinon's extremely lucky in that regard (especially bc not even all of the GMs were given this treatment and good fortune)#It's also very fun seeing Shinon and Janaff develop simultaneously. you get Janaff a SINGLE chapter before you can#get Shinon back (actually use him again) and the very first time you can ever use Janaff is ON the chapter Shinon returns#cooooincidence? maybe but I choose not to think so#Janaff feels so integral in Shinon's character growth in this regard#at this point my brain has cemented their supports as canon#anyway they're a great couple they never kiss and they definitely don't admit to being in love#they think y'all are delulu for thinking they're dating but actually they're the ones who are delulu#i have a do not separate policy for them in part four so shinon always ends up in the hawk army#which rly i don't need to do bc it's not like i need as many shrieks as i end up with#so really janaff doesn't HAVE to be with ulki and tibarn but it feels right#also it's like the one time i have everyone from a respective class type (archer classes) in every army#ALSO also I think it's an interesting situation to have Shinon in the final chapter before endgame 1#maybe it would be cool to write about someday. him seeing the feral drugged laguz and how nastily mindless/cruel/violent/etc they are#compared to the people he knows and starting to realize this was how he used to see ALL laguz#and now seeing it's only these mindless drugged ones and how the people he knows are nothing like this...
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caramelmochacrow · 2 days
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thinking abt 3 of my friends from. like. 3 years ago??? (idk anymore) and how they reacted so calmly to me coming out as trans when i was half unsure abt myself. like, !?!?!?!? WHAT. i literally told them i wanted to be a guy and they were chill abt it. like, so chill.
i wish i remembered that before i did some crazy mind gymnastics to make me think i wasnt. but eh im alright w it now.
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sometimes when I think about how my roommates treated me when I had COVID I get so angry I lose speech
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yangjeongin · 3 months
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.
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maddy-ferguson · 7 months
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i spent two hours (two hours) with my "friends" from school today and i'm MISERABLE roman voice you need to stop this (@ me)
#and like i say: brf slt#forgot to say we were literally sitting down. in class. taking notes. like there's genuinely no reason for THAT to make me feel this bad!#i'm not even bad at talking to people i never talk to again in class or only hang out with in school not having real friends doesn't bother#me because i have friends outside of school but it's my third year so everyone already has established groups of friends and it's :/ like#on monday in my first class of the year the girl sitting next to me was very nice we talked and we have more classes in common like apart#from the big ones where everyone's here the ones where it's only maybe 30 people. so i'm like that's fun i hope i see her again and i did#but she's friends with the bigger group of friends my friends who don't actually like me are friends with like my non friend's boyfriend's#friends so THEIR friends. like what are the odds. i guess not that crazy because there's only maybe 200 of us or 150 i have no idea#but still#but anyway#today we have one of these classes where it's not everyone but it was like another group of students so it was#me. this girl i've been hanging out with for two years who i didn't want to keep hanging out with at the end of the year because of the way#she reacted to something i did that was like an honest mistake she took it wayyy too seriously and said some things i didn't like i was#like girl fuck you😭 except then they kept the exact same groups AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE and it was four months later so i actually#sat next to her and we were together for projects and things like that like my bad. that's on me.#and on her first day last year she met a girl who wasn't in our university the year before and they became bffs basically so it was them +#me. and i like the second girl better i think but she's insanely judgey like not to be like i'm so much better than her but i grew out of#the criticizing everyone 24/7 because it's genuinely a fun activity for me and i enjoy it mindset when i left middle school because the one#friend who liked it as much as me went to a different high school and i stopped seeing her every day. i made a post saying this in january#then during the second semester we became friends with another person i don't wanna explain how. we worked on a thing together for class#basically. them i genuinely like even though i don't think we would actually hang out out of school and have that many things to say to#each other. but they're more friends with girl 1 and girl 2 than they are with me because well i'm not comfortable with them so i talk less#than i would if i was comfortable. and there's also person 3's partner we have a few classes with who's cool but same as person 3 with the#being closer to girl 1 and girl 2 even though they're not even that close. but like. yeah idk#they just (girl 1 and girl 2) make me feel like i'm the weird kid in middle school and that wasn't even my middle school experience i'm#gonna let that happen to me NOW AT 22 YEARS OF AGE?#but last year it was like fine actually it's crazy how one class two hours made me rethink it all#but it's also awkward because like am i just gonna go sit all by myself because i don't wanna hang out with them. especially because we#still have a group thing we're gonna have to do until the end of the year that we started last year and it's not like i'd wanna switch#groups because they're a good group to work with. like they actually do the work. and i guess we only have two classes where it's. tag limi
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proteuus · 2 years
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GUESS WHO GOT A 97 ON HIS MEDIEVAL BLOOD PURITY QUIZ FROM LAST WEEK
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little-ajax-56793 · 1 year
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Oog I want to commit murder
#didnt get a part in my high schools musical. which okay. sure#im an alto so i had to audition on the guy bracket. for context#so anyway i didnt even get ensemble but this one freshman (i love him hes so fabulous in every way) got a major-ish part#and after our auditions we cried in a corner together bc i didnt do body languge for the song and just shook and he sang at twice the speed#and ended 5 measures before the accomplishment did#so anyway one of those fuck ups is a teeny bit worse than the other /s#so anyway im super happy for him i love him but now im smelling bullshit#so last play i was one of four understudies#2 of us (me and that freshman actually) were understand bc she couldnt pick between 2 kids and chose the seniors for main actors#the others were there bc they were underclassmen boys and she wanted to make sure that they stayed in theatre#because we ALWAYS need more boys#so anyway. im trans and i panickedly came out to her at the audition to explain why im on the male bracket#but i really dont pass as male and im in theatre class already#so anyway other than me there were 14 boys auditioning (she was celebrating that there were actually a lot of guys for once)#and i just checked the cast list.#there were 14 boys cast.#EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. on the male bracket BUT ME. including people who fucked up the audition really bad.#idk im just.#almost thinking of quitting the theatre class 2nd semester so i can actually get some fucking leverage next year#every single cis guy got cast probably many to make sure wed have guys next year.#im just upset bc SO MANY FRESHMEN got cast#the role i wanted went to a freshman not in theatre#and im a junior so i have 1 goddamn shot left and shes giving roles to 12 year olds over me#literally the only reason i was an understudy last play instead of main cast was because senior overrules junior junior overrules sophomore#etc.#but fuck that principle now i guess!#also every damn person in my theatre class got cast but me so. that class is gonna suck for the rest of the year ig!#mercury mumbles#damn im just. mad.#every single guy and she wont even throw me an ensemble. damn.
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bluerosesburnblue · 2 years
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I’ve only been catching up on the HPHM story for a week and a half, but I did not remember the wait times being so obnoxious. What’s even the point of half of them, anyway?
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1-800-simping · 1 year
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DUDE WE HAD TURKEY BOWL TODAY AND IT WAS SO CHAOTIC ☠️
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ayakashibackstreet · 2 years
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First day of classes tomorrow, wish me luck
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actualtoad · 2 years
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today was such a day (negative, mostly)
#it’s my sisters birthday#she’s been really stressed because of my parents being so actively vehement at each other all week. she’s okay rn though#um#my friend teacher she/herred me like three four times while introducing me to somebody!!!!!!#and then???? my next hour teacher deadnamed me in front of the entire class because she doesn’t understand having multiple names in multiple#classes and yesterday she was bringing up how a different teacher had called me ari and i was like oh huh yeah okay i go by many names#like trying to be funny and vague about it but then today you know what she did? she called me ari-arthur-anya#she called me two school names and my FUCKING deadname because she doesn’t GET IT and im so FREAKING mad at her and she does NOT get a card#im so pissed im so mad at the two teachers that i thought were probably the most accepting teachers that i’ve ever KNOWN and now here they#BOTH of them on the same day one after another an hour apart!!!! im so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i know that mr hidaka didn’t MEAN it he’s talked to me about gender and stuff like!!!! i know it’s not representative of all of him but#it just hurts really bad that people who i know and love who are SO important to my feeling even a little safe at school#it hurts really bad knowing that they don’t even think of me as myself. that mr h can just forget to use my pronouns makes me want to cry#im so tired of it being something that people have to remember to do. im so tired of this other everything being the default#i need a fucking beard or something i guess. give me some time please!!!! i want to be a teenage boy please!!!!!!!! im so tired!!!!#i had a good morning with mr hidaka mostly like. basically i skipped my first hour class i couldn’t do it today i didn’t want to be there#and i couldn’t do it. so i went to his room how i do. and i said can i stay here. and he said of course i could but i would get marked#absent from my first hour but as long as i was okay with that i could stay. and so i did and i was working on stuff. and then#another teacher showed up. and okay something you guys for sure don’t know about my friend teacher is that he’s a frisbee coach at my school#like he’s in charge of the ultimate frisbee team shdhdf. he’s really into it it’s not really a sport feeling thing but it seems like fun#so anyway the other teacher was like hey (hidaka first name) me and some guys from the team are gonna go throw some frisbees do you want to#and mr h was like. yeah sure!! and he gave me the option between i could stay if i wanted but i could come with too and i said i’d come with#but i cant do frisbee. so it turned out to be the kids from the team and the other coach were doing fancy stuff together and me and mr h#just played some catch and he showed me how to do it and it was really fun and nice and it was really good#so it sucked when then the other teacher was like. so who’s this lovely person anyway? (exact words he said)#and my friend teacher mr hidaka said oh she skipped her first hour so shes here with me#and that hurt my stupid feelings pretty bad!!!!!!! i didn’t say anything though#and then the rest of the day happened. and now im home#all i have left for the rest of the school year is just my chemistry final so im not doing homework tonight#im still making finishing his book into a high priority it’s higher than the project
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Why do Some People constantly have to prove how smart they are
#it’s exhausting#like I’m just trying to have a normal conversation I don’t CARE#men are the most annoying creatures in the world#not all of them#but god I swear I know most of the ones that are#like even when I’m actually asking for him to teach me something#(which usually I’m not and he just decides it’s time for me to learn something I already know)#he uses super big words and makes things more confusing#when u do that. you’re just showing that you don’t know the topic well enough YOURSELF to properly explain it to someone else#anyways this is probably on me for giving him the benefit of the doubt and asking questions#actually I’m not done complaining#one time he asked me about my research#and TWO seconds after I started talking#he began interrupting to ask questions to prove how smart he is#and I’ve talked to So Many people about my research who are Much Much smarter than him#and they never made me feel dumb like he does#and then yesterday I was like ‘wow that lecture sucked for me I bet it did for u too cause ur not aerospace”’#and he was like ‘no actually I understood most of it because I took a class 5 years ago’ SHUT THE FUCK UP#EVERY other person including aerospace people were like 👁____👁 during that lecture#u taking a class five years ago on it does not make u more qualified than everyone else who actually studied this subject for four years!!#ugh he’s so annoying#and this is not me complaining cause maybe he’s smarter than me#he probably is#but people generally aren’t this assholey about it#and I’ve been watching M (another much nicer guy) for a while in our classes#and he’s much MUCH smarter than L#u can tell solely by the kinds of questions he asks#but he never ever makes me feel dumb like L does#if you’ve gotten this far thank u for listening#i really should not be this annoyed I’m gonna have to be coworkers with him for a hot min
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fozmeadows · 6 months
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the older I get, the more the technological changes I've lived through as a millennial feel bizarre to me. we had computers in my primary school classroom; I first learned to type on a typewriter. I had a cellphone as a teenager, but still needed a physical train timetable. my parents listened to LP records when I was growing up; meanwhile, my childhood cassette tape collection became a CD collection, until I started downloading mp3s on kazaa over our 56k modem internet connection to play in winamp on my desktop computer, and now my laptop doesn't even have a disc tray. I used to save my word documents on floppy discs. I grew up using the rotary phone at my grandparents' house and our wall-connected landline; my mother's first cellphone was so big, we called it The Brick. I once took my desktop computer - monitor, tower and all - on the train to attend a LAN party at a friend's house where we had to connect to the internet with physical cables to play together, and where one friend's massive CRT monitor wouldn't fit on any available table. as kids, we used to make concertina caterpillars in class with the punctured and perforated paper strips that were left over whenever anything was printed on the room's dot matrix printer, which was outdated by the time I was in high school. VHS tapes became DVDs, and you could still rent both at the local video store when I was first married, but those shops all died out within the next six years. my facebook account predates the iphone camera - I used to carry around a separate digital camera and manually upload photos to the computer in order to post them; there are rolls of undeveloped film from my childhood still in envelopes from the chemist's in my childhood photo albums. I have a photo album from my wedding, but no physical albums of my child; by then, we were all posting online, and now that's a decade's worth of pictures I'd have to sort through manually in order to create one. there are video games I tell my son about but can't ever show him because the consoles they used to run on are all obsolete and the games were never remastered for the new ones that don't have the requisite backwards compatibility. I used to have a walkman for car trips as a kid; then I had a discman and a plastic hardshell case of CDs to carry around as a teenager; later, a friend gave my husband and I engraved matching ipods as a wedding present, and we used them both until they stopped working; now they're obsolete. today I texted my mother, who was born in 1950, a tiktok upload of an instructional video for girls from 1956 on how to look after their hair and nails and fold their clothes. my father was born four years after the invention of colour televison; he worked in radio and print journalism, and in the years before his health declined, even though he logically understood that newspapers existed online, he would clip out articles from the physical paper, put them in an envelope and mail them to me overseas if he wanted me to read them. and now I hold the world in a glass-faced rectangle, and I have access to everything and ownership of nothing, and everything I write online can potentially be wiped out at the drop of a hat by the ego of an idiot manchild billionaire. as a child, I wore a watch, but like most of my generation, I stopped when cellphones started telling us the time and they became redundant. now, my son wears a smartwatch so we can call him home from playing in the neighbourhood park, and there's a tanline on his wrist ike the one I haven't had since the age of fifteen. and I wonder: what will 2030 look like?
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echidnana · 15 days
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switching schools for summer class pain
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lemonlovemeanslove · 4 months
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NEW POST TO CONTINUE MY TAG RANT
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