#so that's why I've been kinda inactive lmao

[melmonquartelz]

hello! I've been following you since I was in middle school and i fucking LOVE YOUR ART!!!! Your ocs are so cool to look at and especially your animations too! I've always wanted to animate ever since middle school but simply starting is always the hardest part for me so I find it difficult to sort of just get in the zone as a fellow +perfectionist+ , I admire people like you who consistently post no matter any hate, because in my personal experience everytime I get even a bit of criticism especially related to my ocs, it really brings me down because of how closely attached I am to them. I sort of wish I was like you where you can just post and not think twice abt what could be said abt the ocs !

aside from that I used to be in your discord server but was randomly kicked and im not sure why or if theres any way I can get back in it? I really miss looking at all your art you posted on there, my assumption is because I didn't really talk at all in the server (im shy when it comes to servers) , so if there is anyway I can maybe get back into it that would be cool

I hope this wasn't too much to read! All i really wanted to get across is that I adore your ocs, art and animations and aspire to be like you one day where I can post freely and super consistently, with college in the way I don't see that happening anytime soon but hopefully in the future :) I admire your consistency in art!!!!

AAAWEWEA STTOOPPP, I'm gonan start bouncing off the walls ur so nice 😭💖 I'm always extremely proud of my work so it kinda comes as a bonus when I post stuff bc I'm always exited to show off what I've done haha If it's just hate it's always best to ignore it, mainly cuz whatever you're doin' prolly makes you happy yea? So you're the one winning, what you're doin' makes you happy and who's this loser to come into YOUR space and hate on YOUR stuff?? Everyone starts somewhere and if someone's hating because you're not immediately perfect in what you do, then they're not worth your time 🙏

As to my discord server, a while ago we wiped out a bunch of people that would be seen as inactive for my own safety reasons. I've had many people ask when my server's gonna be open again and soon, I don't wanna keep it closed for much longer cuz I feel bad I can't let people in yet lmao 😭 BUT hopefully soon! I'll be ready eventually but since I'm back on tumblr I'll be posting my art here too!

BUT AGAIN! You're very nice thank u smsm 😭💖💖💖I just woke up so this was a nice message to see haha I hope you'll be able to start posting your own content soon! Like I said, everyone starts somewhere

[poetriarchy]

i've been relatively inactive on tumblr for the past few weeks but i NEED TO VENT about this somewhere because i'm losing my marbles and being an adult means you have no one to tell you what to do in these situations. i've had a sinus infection for like the past four weeks (maybe four and a half? I've kind of lost count), been doing the neti pot for the past two weeks or so, did flonase for a bit before i stopped because it was making me nauseous, etc.. It's definitely better than it was three weeks ago but every time i think I'm getting better it just gets worse again and then i feel like shit. initially i had like crazy congestion, crazy fatigue, headaches/sinus pressure, maybe a low fever. now all of those come and go, with the exception of the fever (haven't had that in forever). i got prescribed antibiotics a week and a half ago but i had to cry to the doctor about it in order to even get them because she was really convinced it was viral and not bacterial, which i totally understand. she was like you can start taking them whenever and it's fine, i wouldn't prescribe them if i thought it was a really bad idea, but maybe wait a couple days and do the neti pot + flonase combo. so now i'm here. still haven't taken the antibiotics, i feel stupid for not taking them after everything i went through to get them but she kinda scared me about antibiotic resistance lmao and now i'm worried about dealing with side effects on top of everything else, especially because apparently only .5-2% of all sinus infections are bacterial so idek if it'll work.......i'm definitely going to take them by this weekend at this point i think, but i'm trying to decide if I should start taking them now.....have a few deadlines on friday and don't wanna fuck up my equilibrium even more. beloved mutuals and followers alike. help me

#a #this is so stupid #poll

[neverevan]

Weekend Wip Game ✨

I was tagged by the lovely @daffi-990 thank you mwuah 😘

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

(I cut it off halfway cuz I went long like always...)

1. WIP List:

so as you know my wip list is pretty long, but the active ones right now are:

• the mudslide fic

• the jealous eddie fic

• the breeding kink fic

• the accident fic

• the donation smut

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

the mudslide fic is currently standing at 38.6k and I expect at the very least 20k more... which wouldn't just make it my longest current wip, but also the longest fic I've ever written

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

the mudslide fic hands down, unless something drastic happens and one of my wips gets away from me (though from the inactive wips I expect two of them to be around the same length, possibly)

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I enjoy all of them, but the mudslide fic is surprisingly joyous to write, even though it's mostly just me putting the boys through the emotional and physical wringer lmao

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

listen. I love writing the mudslide fic, but I kinda wrote myself into a hole with it, in the sense that I included a couple of real life locations (though only vaguely) that I just had to make shit up for, which is fine cuz the show does the same, but... idk it's long and the boys spend quite a large chunk of the story separate and it makes me worry that people will find it boring or just idk will be nitpicky about it... like, I have confidence in my writing, but I'm also forever insecure about it??? ugh

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

uhhh I guess the accident fic?? because it's short and it's kind of written in the way I usually write ficlets, which means I don't spiral about the details that much and now I'm worried that it's gonna seem rushed or way too out of sorts 😓

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

none of them, I'm very much a fuck it we ball type of writer

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer’s block?

yeppppp. that's why I have so many active wips atm cuz I got stuck on both of my main ones 🥲

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

the mudslide fic – and she's barely even in it, but she grew on me anyway 💛

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I have to say the donation smut... or the breeding kink fic, whichever floats your boat I guess

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

the mudslide fic, definitely

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I'm not sure??? like, I try my best in all of them, but I can't necessarily say if I succeeded idk

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

again, I'm probably gonna have to go with the mudslide fic

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

👆 I've been doing quite a lot of research going into legal procedures, sixth grade curriculum and body decomposition in water, just to name a few (and most of these barely feature btw 🥲), not to mention looking at the map of LA constantly to gauge distances, but it's still kinda fun though

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

uhmmm I don't have high expectations for any of them, if we're talking about like, comments and kudos and stuff... usually the fics I just write in a moment of inspiration and just throw online get more attention than the ones I try to finetune for hours/days/weeks, so you know... I try to write fics for myself and hope that there are people they resonate with 🫶

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

listen, I have really hectic and weird dreams, but I don't think I ever dreamed about any of my wips

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

well, if nothing else, operating with this many characters is something I'm not exactly used to, so the mudslide fic and the jealous eddie fic are kinda unique in that regard, I suppose

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I'm not... exactly big on writing goofy stuff, which is unfortunate because I love reading it, but I mean it a 100% when I say angst and smut is my bread and butter

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

not a very deep dive, but I do touch on a side character's background in the mudslide fic, no outside povs though

20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs

idk?? uhh it's not an active wip, but all I could think about is that Homesick For Your Skin isn't my first parallel universe fic, but it's the first one I had to work out without magic 🪄

I'm sure most of you have already done this, but here are five no pressure tags anyway:

@forthewolves @jesuisici33 @callaplums @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz

#writing #tag games

[oswaldsleftbicep]

Are you still active? Sorry for asking but it's been already months when you posted that with your boyfriend . Anyway happy Christmas for you

hi! short answer: yes, i am still active, and i plan to begin writing again sometime in january. long answer is below the cut, but thank you for checking in, and happy holidays to you as well!!

the reason why i've been on such a huge hiatus is mainly because i've been in an intense depressive episode for the past few months and thought it best to focus on my wellbeing.

the breakup with my ex was very messy, pretty much he cheated on me and i stayed longer than i should have in hopes of him changing and me forgiving him, but my trust in him was irrevocably broken. since we're coworkers don't date coworkers pls omg don't do it i've had to see him and his new girlfriend also a coworker almost every day, and i've been lowkey getting harassed by them and their department.

i also dropped out of college, and have been struggling with finding my passion in life and what i want to do. not much progress there, but not being in school means i'm working full time, and ngl i'm getting real fed up with my job lmao

in terms of my health, i've been struggling a lot mentally, but i'm finally seeking care for my physical health and chronic conditions.

as for the content of my blog, nightmare harem is no longer supported on the kind of phone i have which is kinda funny, so i won't be able to keep up with any updates, if there are any. but!! my love for the game and characters is still there, and i'm excited to start writing for them again. i'm also going to look into playing different otome games, and possibly writing for them too! so if you all have any recommendations please lmk!

to whoever is reading this, thank you for sticking around and putting up with my incessant hiatuses and inactivity. i know how annoying it can be to wait forever for a request, especially for a fandom with such little content. thank you for your support and patience with me, and please stay tuned for content in the very near future, for real this time asjdkfhj

#let's chat! #pls recommend me some otome games!! #nightmare harem

[keichanz]

hey i'm still alive

👀

uh so. how's it going. thought i'd give a little life update in case anyone was curious or interested >> tho probs not ;lajdfk;l

yeah i know i've been mia for like. a long time now, and tbh there's no particular reason why. i know i've lost some followers because i've been so inactive and haven't written anything in a long ass time. i do apologize for that. a lot has happened in the last few months and i guess i just wanted to give my friends and follows a brief little overview of what's been going on in my life and to prove that i am indeed still alive lol.

so most of you all know by now that i finally landed a good paying remote job yeah? and at first it was amazing. now? not so much. the schedule sucks ass, the management is balls, and the actual work sucks even more. i'm not happy there anymore so i'm currently looking for a new job. and im so desperate to get out of there i'm looking outside of remote jobs as well.

right now i'm waiting to hear back from an office technician job right here in my town that pays $27 an hour. TWENTY. SEVEN. guys that's $8 more than what i'm making right now ($19 an hour.) oh my GOD if i made that money i'd be able to finally move out of this god awful house with a flea problem that i CANNOT get rid of (my poor babies :( i've legit tried everything, even fucking professionally treated this house with orkin to get rid of them, had both of them get flea baths by a groomer and STILL i cannot get rid of the damn fleas. it's so fucking stressful y'all you cant even begin to imagine), finally get new tires for my truck, and live comfortably with extra spending money without having to worry about paying rent or buying groceries for the month. i'm PRAYING i get this job. even if it's not remote that pay would make it SO worth it.

anyway. moving on.

i've also gotten into a relationship with someone i was desperately in love with, then got my heart broken because he ended things. it hurt a lot. i got over it though, with the help of some pretty amazing friends, and one of my best friends. and right now, i'm currently dating that best friend lmao. so i'm in another relationship, and i'm very happy with him. our relationship began at the end of june, i believe. (i'll never forget the day he asked me to be his. y'all my hearT MELTED 😍😍)

it's a long distance relationship as tom lives in canada, but he did recently come to see me as evidenced by the photo above. i love this man y'all. he's amazing. there is one thing i'm kinda worried about with our relationship, but i won't get into that because thinking about it upsets me. but anyway he makes my very happy. ❤️

so that's pretty much what's been happening. i just haven't really been inspired/motivated to write at all lately, and i do apologize for that. it's just been a very overwhelming few months, with dealing with this damn house, ending a relationship and starting a new one, stress from a job that i'm really beginning to hate, trying to find a new one, and just a few other small things that aren't worth mentioning.

i do hope you all know that this doesn't mean i've abandoned writing or abandoned any of my stories. it's just been difficult to write anything lately but that doesn't mean i don't want to. i still love inuyasha. it's still my favorite anime. i still read fanfic (on occasion, when i have the time as i'm pretty much in a 24/7 discord call with tom except right now because he's at a dentist appt which is why im taking the time to write this -3-) and i still do think about my stories. hell, sometimes i even get an idea for a good oneshot and think to myself "shit i need to write that down" but then i forget about it and hate myself for the next 24 hours -_-

so yeah. that's what's been going on. i'm still around. i still get on here and reblog a few posts, mostly the ones i'm tagged in or some nice fanart. i do miss y'all and i hope my absence hasn't upset anyone or made them think i'm done with the inuyasha fandom. i'm most definitely not. it's just...sort of taking a backseat for now until i sort some things out in my life. definitely not preferable, but it is what it is, y'know.

my dear readers, followers, and friends, i love you all so much and i'm glad you've stuck around this long even though i haven't been around. you're the reason why i'm still here, why i want to someday get back to writing and giving you more content to enjoy and gush over. thank you for your patience with me and still giving love to my stories after all this time. i still get the occasional review for one of my stories, and trust me, i read every single one of them and they make my entire day. it's so nice knowing people are still reading my work and enjoying it. maybe it's selfish, but i hope you never stop, because reading those reviews gives me a huge boost when i'm feeling down on a particular day and it makes me feel like i haven't been forgotten, though by every right i should have been.

okay i've rambled long enough. in short, i just want to say thank you. you're all rockstars. i love you all. ❤️

until next time, my lovelies.

#psa #dammit keiz #i'm still alive #keichanz #wtf else do i tag this as #long post

[bookofmirth]

I’ve been pretty inactive recently on acotar Reddit/tumblr because of how opinionated and mean the shippers and the POV truthers are, but let me tell you, I’ve been laughing my ass off at all the el/riels trying to rescue their theories on the next book. They’re grasping for straws at this point, and no amount of color coded analysis seems to be helping. I feel kinda bad for the sane, respectful El/riels, but goddamn, am I enjoying the willful delusion of the mean ones. Is that bad of me…? LMAO

You know, I wasn't going to post this because I didn't want to make anyone feel bad, except I agree with you 100%.

I've been relatively quiet (for me) since last August because I just couldn't be bothered anymore in an environment that's so hostile, over silly fictional characters. I do feel bad for people who are just out here trying to enjoy something. That's why we're all here, at least initially. We read something that we enjoyed and we wanted to find more content and other people who enjoyed it. It sucks when either the fandom or canon go certain ways that we don't predict and that take that joy away from us.

And by the same token, like you, I really don't feel bad for the people who have made their ship their entire personality to the point where they bully other actual, real people. Like obviously nothing is confirmed, no matter what ship you're talking about. Insert whatever ship you want, it's not confirmed until the book is in our hands. But I gotta say that I enjoy a bit of schadenfreude, especially when the people in question have been absolute awful human beings (and unremorsefully so.)

#antielriel #fandom wank #ask #anon #if you haven't been a shit person to other people online #then this ask shouldn't bother you #because it's not about you :) #i have been fucking laughingggggggg #for a solid 36 hours now

[genderjester]

I've followed you for so long now, since you were 16 iirc (I never remember my own age at past points) so that'd be eight years according to your bio. Not technically continuously since I changed accounts during that time and also was inactive sometimes, but y'know. You had the sunshinesel[redacted] url then I think, or maybe you switched to that URL soon after I followed. I vaguely recall your blog and icon being very orange, the icon might've been a pokemon? Not sure. Since, you've gone thru URL and icon changes (I think you recently changed the latter again, probably for spooky month) and changed pronouns and ofc dropped part of your name, yet you're one of the very few ppl who have (permanently) changed url & icon whom I'm still able to recognise successfully. The only other one I can currently think of has a very memorable name I love that they've never changed since I first followed them so while I don't instantly recognise them on my dash, as soon as I look at their bio I know who it is. I'm not even sure why I never lost track of who you are, I think you've just been consistently posting while I'm on (I'm also German so y'know, time zones) basically the entire time so you were kinda always there, not as like a major component (I don't think we were ever even mutuals but I defo sent some (anon, cuz I'm shy) asks back in the day) but just always there, a fixed point, ein Fels in der Brandung, so all together the changes were gradual to me. And that's nice, y'know? We're just all still here, despite everything. We're grown up now or at least we're supposed to be and yet, we're still here, engaging in parallel play as we've done for years. It's comforting.

Also, I looked at selfies of you for (I think) the first time earlier and was wondering if I may ask where your family hails from bc you somehow simultaneously like my first girlfriend (born to a Bosnian (second parent unknown) but raised in Austria) and a friend of mine (Turkish parents but born and raised in Germany) despite them bearing barely any resemblance to each other lmao

wagh that's wild omg...8 years

and yeah i did have a lesbian vulpix couple icon at some point when i had that url !! i did change my layout again for october reasons hehehe but also i enjoy it very much rn so it might stick around longer altho i am also so fond of the maus icon...hmm decisions lmaoo

anyways this is such a sweet ask there rly are so many connections in this world that we maybe arent even that consciously aware of but they are there in the background uwu<333 it is comforting fr

divnjrnkvke both of my parents were born in southern germany but i have some relatives in ireland on my mom's side and from gdańsk on my dad's side

#asks #anon

[todayisafridaynight]

NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...

BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH

Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.

ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭

On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭

But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...

And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]

JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT

ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers

YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ

no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..

wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)

OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..

#long post #snap chats #when it comes to Famous Persons Coming Back i was also just like 'theres no way they could get george takei back right' #LISTEN i know the eng dub is not to be spoken of but it exists and it cant be denied takei's REALLY prolific in the states yeah #so i HAD to ask it was WORTH asking myself. unless they decide to swap arakawa's eng VA but w/e its not overly important #moving on. its ok most people dont read anyway no worries about missing a subtitle </3 a painful reality but. we take W's where we can. #OH BUT TO END /MY/ NIGHT THO i LOVED One Missed Call UGH such a good horror movie #i wanna watch it with my dad so bad he loves horror/suspenseful movies and we used to watch em whenever id visit him #KYOUEN'S A DARLING OF A SHOW SO FAR I THINK IVE SAID THAT ENOUGH but yeah......... BIG love........ #i'm almost done with it. if i said i finished it earlier i think i lied i cant remember POINT IS I JUST HAVE THREE EPS #i plan on watching them before stream time tomorrow so that'll be cute :] #buuuut speaking of finishing watching things i Just finished watching the first We Make Antiques movie and UGH #love. love love love it was so silly but also really fascinating to watch... team of forgers thats WILD and i loved it.. #i wish i had access to the sequels tho like PLEAASE i wanna watch these two be losers more.... #they became domestic with each other so quickly like goddamn.. money can do anything #it can make two dudes trying to con each other work together.. its beautiful..... #ok now thats all from ME for tonight. id talk more on the jo and aoki bits but theres a good chance ill do that during stream #or. ill draw it during stream. me drawing is the same as me talking now innit Let My Bullshit Speak For Me etc etc #ok thats all from me fr this time BYE

[chiyohlecter]

the way i've been so inactive on this blog... i only come on here to post some personal shit and yell about tennis stuff... like yeah like once every two weeks i reblog a hundred posts and then disappear... more active on the sideblogs lately, even the asoue one i barely use ever these days, i feel like i need to watch/read smth good to start posting regularly on here again, but it ain't happening with the way my brain's been working

idek why i'm saying this kinda feel like i need to apologize, but i also sincerely hope you guys are not like counting on me or anything lmao

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[coldercreation]

skdjaks im catching up on ur recent posts cuz ive been inactive on tumblr, and i came across the one where u and some ppl in the replies lament on loving the idea of relationships but never developing crushes rlly and finding it hard to date and whatnot, and damn i relate. i was gonna comment but i wanna stay anon for now, so i am in ur inbox instead huhu. but yh i deal w the same thing, ppl have had crushes on me before, but ive never once returned them? and like even if i find someone attractive as far as i know that doesn’t translate to wanting to bone… blech. i was talking to my friend abt this yesterday, and i was telling her that maybe ill try just going on dates and figure out how i tick?? general research has led me to id as demi after contemplating ace when i was like 13 so,,, who knows rlly. tldr i am similar and i get being confused abt it H

Ohh this is so interesting actually! Like, I genuinely wasn't expecting that so many of you would relate when I wrote that post??🤔 Obviously I knew that there's no way that I'm the only one on this whole planet, but still, seems a lot more common than what I had thought!

I'd like to think that it's very much okay to be confused by these kinds of things, no matter how frustrating it can also be. That's pretty much what I've been telling myself recently. Even if I'd like to find someone I really connect with and to have a relationship, there's no rush or need to force anything immediately just for the sake of it. Maybe it can even be fun to explore with time, and to figure out those things that will make us tick?

For me it's probably more about working on my social life in general than about anything else. Especially since the apps clearly don't do it for me and there's not really any other ways to meet new people. But I'm kinda feeling optimistic about it, mostly because I've been enjoying being social so much more lately!

Thank you for sharing love! This topic has been so interesting and I've enjoyed hearing everyone's experiences xx

///

Huge RAMBLE warning lmao:

I actually brought this topic up in therapy after we chatted about it here, kinda just theorised about it while trying to make sense of it all. My/our conclusion was that, for me, it could stem from ✨trauma✨ and needing a lot of time to truly open up/warm up to people (demi?/trust issues/hyper-independence). And since the societal norm is to often move a lot faster than that, I haven't even had the time to see the possible connection/spark/whatever in people, because they've already deducted, based on me having been very cautious and closed off, that I'm not interested, and so they moved on. Which in turn could've made me feel unwanted or uninteresting or unattractive or even abandoned, y'know? So I'd be left confused, feeling like there was something wrong and unattractive? about me, while also wondering why I'm never actually interested in anyone even though I've always longed for those deep connections with people.

Nowadays I've been feeling a lot lighter and... open? I guess, and I can genuinely see a change in the way people approach me? Or maybe they've always approached me the same way but I just wasn't able to be receptive to it🤔 Dunno! But there must've been some sort of micro-visible behavioural shift in me or something, because as soon as I have started to feel like I can and want to seek out people's company and I genuinely enjoy it, people are just... suddenly there? Whereas before there was this void?? Even when I tried to change that.

And despite me not having met anyone specific I'd be interested in dating, I have felt like I could actually do it now if the right person came along. (When I tried dating through apps years ago I felt like I was forcing it. It was very surface level and short lived, didn't feel... right?) And with that 'shift', or whatever it is that's changed in my behaviour??? I've literally been dodging date invites this past year like it's a sport???? Like tf?😭😂 This is mind boggling to someone who has for years thought that no one just gives a shit about me and there's something so unattractive about me that that's why no one shows any interest... But I think it really is a lot to do with some strange subtle messages that were given off? (and maybe also me leaving the house sometimes lmao....) I believe I wrote it in one of the more brainy stories as well, maybe CYE?, that if someone's whole body language, subconsciously or not, screams 'leave me the fuck alone', people are likely to leave them alone. And if we're not aware that that's the message we're giving off, it can very easily make us feel confused and like something's inherently wrong with us.

But then again, I don't think I would've been ready for anything like this a few years back, so perhaps the brains are smarter than we think and know that it takes time to heal. My therapist agreed that not having crushes could be due to so many things, but what I was saying did track to him. Slow to warm up/demi? + (social) anxiety + trauma are a hell of a combo when it comes to building new relationships. No matter why I'm not having crushes easily, he told me to take it easy on myself and to be understanding; after dealing with mental health crap and trauma for most of my life, it'd be very unreasonable to compare myself to the societal 'standards' or expect myself to do things in the same phase as other people are. Like, I had other shit to deal with growing up, so maybe I'm just now feeling like I'm ready to be myself, and it's okay to take things slow.

(And while writing that, speaking about people suddenly being there when before I felt like no matter what I tried, I was struggling to connect with people; I just got a thank you text from someone I helped at work when they were upset about something, and they said they'd love to see me (this one is in a friend way, not a date way) outside of work sometime as well :((((( is it weird if I cry lmaooo) xx

#apologies for possible incoherent writing hahaha #I word vomited but now feel too lazy to check if it makes any sense #SORRY ANON for using your ask to ramble :'O #I found this topic so interesting though #and figured maybe my therapy ramble could be insightful for someone else too when it comes to this #obviously this is very strongly tied to just my own experience #and to my interactions with my personal therapist #so keep that in mind #maybe you can relate to some of this #or none of this #that's okayyy #we all have our own journeys!<3 #Thank you anon again for sharing #and for everyone who's shared on this topic #xx

[whisper-and-tangle]

My Fanfics - Inactive, Ongoing, and Undetermined.

I've been going over what fics to like, stay inactive on and what ones I'm gonna try and finish-

Most of the ones I deem too OOC, too stupid, or that I just straight-up don't like anymore, I won't list here.

Whisper the Wolf - Wanderer: Inactive. If I ever decide to pick this up again, since I like the concept, I just hate what I've done with it, I'd probably restart it completely, following a similar plotline to the first chapter. It felt OOC how violent Whisper was, and I ultimately majorly dislike the second chapter.

Whisper & Tangle - Sonic Prime: Inactive, but just to note, this isn't my Sonic Prime fic featuring Mumble and Ivy- that's done. This fic was too gory, over-the-top-angst, I think.

Sonic x Elden Ring: The Scattered Emeralds: Undetermined. If I'm being honest, I LOVED THIS CONCEPT. I loved writing this, and love the concept. But I think I wrote it very, very badly. I might come back to it someday, but it's undetermined for now.

Belle & Tangle - Camping Trip: Inactive, this was a oneshot I never finished. It's meh, but I don't like it that much and wouldn't revisit it, most likely.

Tangaze - Road Trip!: Ongoing. This was, or atleast I think it is, one of the best fics I've ever wrote. I genuinely like this one, and the only reason I didn't continue it was because I couldn't think of how. I'd love to finish this, I just hope it doesn't come off as too rushed or anything.

Blaze the Werecat: Undetermined. If I enjoy writing Tangaze - Road Trip! alot, I might revisit this to write some more tangaze, but I'm relatively happy with how the series is at the moment.

The Best Sonic: Inactive. I don't know why I didn't list this as a finished work, because I'm not planning on going back to this- It was alright, but ultimately, I wouldn't know where to go with it next. ive been kinda uninspired and unimaginitive recently lmao

The Coffee Shop - Sonic AU: Undetermined. I liked some of this, hated some other parts. I might write some stuff about transfem tails, or relating to this fic in the future, but it's fate is unsure at the moment.

Tangle & Whisper: Roommate AU: Undetermined/Likely To Be Ongoing. This was my first ever fic. Why did any of you like this. what. how. It's cute, I guess, and I might pick it up again awhile in the future, if anyone would like that.

STH - New Beginnings: Inactive. This was one of my first, very long multi-chapter fic but it's formatted badly and I don't like it anymore. also i like. havent updated this in ages lmao so its kinda obvious its inactive

Maple/Future AU: Ongoing. I'd love to continue this. I want to make a multi-chapter fic sometimes, focusing on Maple, but I'd have to write her backstory first- which is kinda complicated.

#i dont like many of my fics lmao #if i make that maple multi chapter fic id probably like. spend a few days thinking of ideas before i go for it #but id love to make one about maple #reading some of my old fics makes me cringe like😭😭😭 theyre so fucking badddd

[oswaldsleftbicep]

heyy,, how y'all doing,,

it's been a minute lmao so i just wanted to quickly explain why i've been so inactive. it's the end of the semester for me which means finals are next week!! so i've got lots of studying and projects to do. also, i've been working like 30 hours a week lol so super busy with that too. uhh i also got a new boyfriend so he's been taking up some of what little free time i have. my cat is also like actively dying so i'm super sad about that.

so with that being said, requests are definitely gonna have to wait just a little bit longer, which i'm so sorry about!! unless something else changes or comes up, expect requests to be filled starting the 25th of this month :) i might have one or two up sooner than then, but that's kinda where things are heading at the moment

here's a little sneak peak at what i got cooking:

❧ levy & kaim soft n fluffy hcs

❧ lucia, levy, & mefy + pda

❧ how the boys react to their gn!so being homesick

ok and i think that's about all i have to say :) i'm gonna keep my requests open so if you wanna send in more, feel free!! sorry again about the wait

#let's chat!

[sensitively-taken]

ok so pls don’t take this the wrong way i rly don’t mean to send accusations or anything, but do u anti/not support heeseung?

i’m just asking cuz u made him sorta evil and mega douchey in death valley and i can’t tell if that’s cuz u actually view him negatively or some other reason. ik u said u wanted a “bad guy” in the story and i understand that im just confused why u chose heeseung instead of an oc and seeking clarification.

thank u :)

hi i'll be v honest when i first read this ask i was rlly confused ab how u got that impression from the fic but i'll still clarify! 😁

i don't anti heeseung u don't have to worry ab that lmao 😁😁 actually i prefer not to write ab idols i'm not interested in 😪 so i wouldn't have written ab heeseung at all if i was a heeseung anti

this is actually kinda funny bc death valley was originally a fic for another group and heeseung's character was written for one of my ult biases LMAO 💀 so no it had absolutely nothing to do w whether i like heesung or not

and the way i write i kinda picture it like the idols are playing the role of the character almost like they're acting. i don't usually characterise too heavily based on their personality, instead i just come up w characters and think ab which idol matches the best (and sometimes that's based on how they look in concepts so dw it's not at all me projecting what i think they're like 💀)

and in this case, there weren't many options for who would play certain characters because half of enhypen is underage or recently adults so, even though heeseung's character isn't a sleaze or anything, i didn't think it was appropriate for any of those members to be in charge of gambling 💀💀 so it was rlly between jake and heeseung and i think we can all agree that the character doesn't rlly suit jake at all LMAO so i went w heeseung

also imo i didn't think heeseung's character was that big of a douche. since the fic was v comedic and unserious his actions weren't taken all that seriously and was more meant to be funny than malicious but i do get how they may have come across as otherwise

i hope this clarifies everything 😪😪 sorry if u thought i was a heeseung anti for the longest time ever (i've been a bit inactive lately so i didn't have time to reply)! i just wanted him to fill the role of the character :') nothing more or nothing less

#aa.messages #agent anonymous

[ncko-art]

wtaf she was been harrassing u ? what happend ? thats so fucked im so sorry u had to deal with that but im curios what happened ? i cant find her blog anywhere ?

she deleted her main blog and art blog a long time ago, probably around the time we stopped being friends.

so we stopped being friends last year but we ended things on good terms. she sent me a message recently on discord where she proceeded to make some unwarranted comments about my twitter profile and who i interact with and how she disapproved (somewhere in that lengthy message, she requested for any mentions of her in the izumi au faq post to be removed, i removed the whole post bc that was easier than reformatting the paragraphs to remove any mention of her entirely.) she blocked me before i could reply to her discord message, then she proceeded to send me an anon on this blog, asking me to take down the birthday videos that i had made for her "because it was in my best interest.” (not because she cared, as she said.)

i told her to leave me alone, as you can see on the ask she sent. she also posted comments on my birthday videos, saying i could keep the videos up but “why should i bother?” i told her to let me keep them up if she didn't care. she then sent me a lengthy email. again, i've told her to leave me alone lmao.

she's been kinda quiet lately so hopefully the message came across 🙈but yeah that's what's been happening lately. in no way has it affected the status of the izumi au tho, it was going to be inactive either which way.

#drama details under read more #sad how things had to turn out this way lmao

[pinkuberii]

Hi Esu!! ♥♥♥ It's an honor to be your first anon😳 idk why people haven't signed up to be an anon of yours before me 😩 but you totally deserve it !!! They're missing out on your sweetness ✨

"eSU EXISTS-" 💨💨💨 here i am 🦸typing this ask also im makin some text small bc the ask will take up so much space in normal size :D

I couldn't agree less on what you said on comforting someone 😔 because either i get annoyed with them for being emotional or sweatdrop intensely trying to think what should i do lmao 😭 you're so courageous for even offering an hug 😳 brain-wrecking moment is when it's you and just the other person then they started to get emotional 😷 "wha- what do i even do with you??🧍🧍🧍 Do i vacuum your problems out of you??" First instinct of mine too is to think of some (unhelpful) advice/solution,,,

I rlly like how you express yourself fully with memes♥️♥️♥️ like how i do with emojis/emoticons bc with my serious personality id straight up look rude without the ":D” stuff🥴 Can i please buy one ticket to Esu's Museum? ✨🎫

it very shocking to me that you dont like pink xD and more like, it's counterparts (brown and blue) 🤯🤯 for pink,,, i like the color of the uno card you sent but like the HOT HOT kind of pink is really smth i despise 😤 so it would depend on the shade or combinations of the color(s) f i like it or not— bUT i actually still like cakes if im gonna pick what dessert id like to eat <3 it's not so sweet most of the time <33

AND HIGH FIVE !! 🙏🙏🙏 For some reason the 🍰 kind of cake isnt really typical around my area or idk,, country?? There must be some but maybe in the more big-city cafe parts 😔💔 it's just too fancy for some reason BUT ESU, IMAGINE THIS: us meeting up to buy our first ever fancy strawberry shortcake and eat it together 🤯💝✨ we're like,,, gonna meet up in our imagination and taste the cake in our imagination too—

I could read the text clearly too!! So i appreciate you changing it into a more visible color :DD ALSO!!! I've been meaning to ask you if you have plans to change your desktop theme into something (like the codes stuff) bc idk if you're interested in spicing up your desktop theme look into smth different 💨💨💨 but it's def understandable since fixing layouts take time 💕

If only i could send in images on anon it would be great 😩 but that's okay !! mwa also pls feel free to talk about stuff with me if you ever feel like talking abt it <3 ill do my best to listen ★~

Good luck on your fic too 💪💪💪 it seems you're in progress of writing it and im excited 💨💨💨

Also the pink uno reverse card 💗💗💗

— 🍰.

Hello 🍰 nonnie!!! <3

I’m so glad you’re my first anon tbh, it’s probably bc of my inactivity that people don’t consider being an anon of mine 🙊 BUT YOU’RE RIGHT THEY’RE DEFINITELY MISSING OUT 😳👉👈

GLAD U REMEMBERED ME HHEHEHEH 🥰🥰

no but same???? Like I have no right to be annoyed but I STILL AM- My brain is just,,,, error: 404 not found IDK WHAT TO DO???? Idk man hugs can cure some stuff apparently so I just… do that… 🚶‍♂️ It’s so scary when it’s just you and the person though… I kinda pass away then…

Memes are love, memes are life… my messages are kinda dry without them… 😟😟 but same!! I’d sound rude without emoji’s too… AND YES YOU MAY!! LETS EXPLORE MY MEME MUSEUM!! <33

Ikr??? It’s like discovering you’ve been lied to your whole life… but I do admire the pastel shades of pink!! <3 BUT HOT PINK BURNS MY EYES. Oh!! Yes some cake is not extremely sweet, I like those the most!

I can only find the 🍰 cake in bigger cities…. I think… I MEAN FANCY THINGS ARE USUALLY THERE.. 🤷‍♀️ I AM ✨ IMAGINING ✨ THATS SO AMAZING HONESTLY,, I’D LOVE TO EAT MY FIRST STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE WITH UUUUUU!! <3 I’m sure it’s pretty delicious 😳👉👈

WOOOOOOOO!! I’m glad I could fix the visibility of the text!! :0 I changed my desktop theme when I received ur ask, so ty for asking, my blog looks v v fancy now 😎😎😎

It’s annoying that anons can’t send pics imo :(( like?? Tumblr?? Pls??? Ooooo okay, tysm 🍰 nonnie!!! I appreciate it a lot <3

I just finished writing the fic!! :D but I’m v v glad ur excited! 🥰🥰

It’ll be here tomorrow! :3

#esu’s 🍰 nonnie #esu talks — 🎀 #esu’s inbox—💌