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#so that the resident stands up safely but I will be calling and letting the nurse know what an absolute crapshow this room movement is
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The Phoenix and the Crow
part thirty four
pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader
genre: flufffffff
el's thoughts: this is like a filler chapter. it's a lil daydream from y'n's perspectivee enjoyyy
masterlist
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Ravka. She’d recognize the air anywhere, which she missed most from her childhood. The scent of freshly plowed grass and apple blossoms. She opened her eyes, half expecting to be standing in front of her childhood home but smiled softly when she recognized the house she stood in front of. A large two-story house painted light blue with brown roofing and a well-used wooden porch. Large fields surrounded the residence, not another house within eyesight. The uneven stone path led to the porch steps Y/N stood on while she waited. Joyous screams and laughter echoed from the back of the house.
“There she is! Y/N!”
“Jesper!” She copied him and laughed as she walked down the steps with her arms open as Nina ran to her. “We’ve missed you guys so much!”
The group exchanged their warm greeting but were interrupted by the squeals from the backyard grew louder causing Y/N to chuckle. “The kids are out back, and from the sound of it, Kaz just joined them.”
Nina and Inej linked their arms through Y/N’s, walking on each of her sides while the other followed the three girls.
“Uhg,” the Heartrender groaned. “You’re an official mum now.”
“And Kaz is an official father,” the Inferni responded.
“That’s even stranger to think about.” Nina shuddered causing the woman beside her to roll her eyes.
“I’d like to state,” Inej spoke up. “I called it. I knew they’d settle down eventually.”
“And I knew they’d have kids one day.” Wylan chimed in.
Y/N smiled fondly as she remembered the day she and Kaz told their friends they were adopting their first child. Their beautiful baby girl. Someone would have thought the world was ending, given the Crow’s reactions. Matthias had nearly passed out while Nina stood speechless staring at the couple with wide eyes. Jesper yelled and jumped around, already claiming his role of ‘favorite uncle’ as Wylan hugged Y/N and smiled at Kaz. Inej had quickly followed Wylan in hugging Y/N and telling the somewhat recently married couple that they would be amazing parents.
The group of six continued their way to the backyard and caught the attention of the three Brekkers in the field. Y/N bent down with no control of her body and held her arms open for the children to run into. “My babies!” She placed kisses all over their small faces causing peels of squealing and giggles to fall from their lips, making her heart fill with a sense of love she’s only grown fonder of. She quickly diverted their attention to their aunties and uncles as she walked over to Kaz, placing a chaste kiss to his cheek once she reached his side.
“What are you thinking?” Y/N asked softly as she looked up at his side profile. He hummed and looked down at her without turning his head with a small smirk. “Nothing.”
She hummed in disbelief but left it be. “Go welcome our family to our home while I make dinner.” She let her fingers trace his sleeve for a short moment before she turned to walk up the back steps to the house. She closed the screen door behind her and walked into the kitchen, opening the large windows above the sink so she could hear and watch her family outside. She turned the tap on and let the warm water run over her hands.
If she would’ve told her younger self that this was the life she would get to live after everything she’d be put through, she would laugh at herself. Call her older self deranged and unstable. This was the life she dreamed about growing up in the Little Palace, but that was all it was to her, a fantasy. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would ever get to live in the country side again with a husband and children. Children she gets to raise in a world that’s as safe as could be and give them the proper childhood that had been stolen from her. This is what they were fighting for all those years ago. A life like this. This life was supposed to be her end game.
The screen door swung open and shut twice, telling her she had company.
“Why’d you sneak off like that?”
Y/N chuckled, “I’m just going to make dinner for us.”
Inej made her way into the kitchen, following Nina. “We’ll help then, Wylan said he’ll come in a little bit.”
The inferni looked out the window to see said chemist and Jesper running around with the kids. She smiled to herself knowing he won’t be joining them in the kitchen.
~
“Anyone need more blankets?” Y/N called from the hallway with towels in her arms as she made her way through the two guest rooms. Wylan and Jesper in one while Nina and Matthias took the other. Inej was in the children’s room, having a sleep over with her niece while her nephew had taken the middle of his parent’s bed.
“I think we’re all good, thank you, Y/N/N.” Jesper wrapped an arm around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head, pulling a chuckle from her lips. “Alright,” she murmered. “Sleep tight then.”
She walked into her daughter’s room and smiled as she heard the hushed whispers being shared between the pair in the bedroom. “Get some sleep, missy.”
Her eldest groaned softly, “I’m just catching up with Aunty ‘nej. She’s telling me all her new stories.”
Y/N held her hands up in mock defense as she placed a kiss to her forehead. “Alright, but don’t stay up too late.” And she sent a smile to Inej on her way out of the room. A few more paces down the hallway and she finally made to to her own bedroom. The sight in front of her nearly made her heart burst. Kaz laid on his side of the bed with their son curled into his side with a children’s book resting on his chest.
Y/N grabbed her nightgown and walked to their attached wash room to get ready for the night. After washing her face, brushing her teeth and mentally checking that everything down stairs was turned off and put away she crawled into her side of the bed and slid under the covers. As she reached over to her nightstand to turn off the oil lamp, she felt a hand brush through her hair. She turned around and kissed his fingertips.
“Thank you.” His voice sounded like rough and gravel-like, like rock salt. It brought the warmest smile to his wife’s lips.
“For what?”
“For everything you’ve given us. It was nice to have everyone here today and it just… reminded me of where we were years ago.”
She hummed, “I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you, Brekker. You know that.”
“Well, Brekker, I wouldn’t be the man I am today without you. So let’s call it even.”
The boy tucked into his side muttered under his breath and turned to his mother’s side to cling to her. She placed a kiss on his head as she ran her hand through his hair. She reached her free hand to her husband’s and linked their pinkies. “Good night, my love.”
“Good night, darling.”
taglist: @katherinereid @littlecat21 @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @brekkers-desigirl @clunaes @wonderland2425 @bookloverfilmoholic @karensirkobabes @bookworm-center @el-de-phi @so-get-this-sammy @skittleabyss @crispy-croke @cometsghost @auttumnsayshi
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notmyneighbor · 17 days
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Let Me In ~ Doppelgänger Francis Mosses/The Milkman x Female Reader
Chapter 6
Word Count ~ 3.9k
Rating ~ Explicit
CW ~ sexual content
Also available on AO3
taglist @luthien-elvenia-asher @fishfetus @gaudesstuff @nekee-lilac02
Fanart used with permission @kaworinx on Instagram and TikTok
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Early morning. Almost time for Francis’ delivery route to begin.
“Good morning.” You look at the doppelgänger. His face is pressed into the living room pillow he’d borrowed from the couch, offering you the solitary one on the bed. A sleepy smile of greeting.
“Good morning, love.” His hand cups your cheek and you trap his fingers, turning your face to kiss the inside of his wrist. “I’m glad you stayed last night.”
“Me too.” Its earlier than you’d normally rise, but you kind of like it. That sense that the rest of the world is slumbering and the two of you have this time reserved just for you.
“Tell me to go get ready. I don’t want to leave this bed.”
“Go get ready. I’ll press your clothes for you while you take a shower. Get coffee going.”
“M’kay.” He sighs, sitting upright. Stretching his arms, his legs hanging over the side of the bed. A dog barks outside and someone hisses for it to be quiet. The replicant freezes, his arms dropping down sharply.
“Francis? What is it?”
“It’s not a dog.” He stands and goes to the window, edging the curtain back. “I don’t recognize them. Not from my squadron.”
“A doppel?”
“Yes.”
You sit up, the languid, cozy feeling evaporating instantly. Bringing you right back to reality. “Does the owner know?”
“No. They’re human.”
“Are they trying to come in?”
“No. But they sense something. That’s why they barked. They’re already halfway down the street. You’re safe.” He lets the curtain drop back into place.
“Didn’t you say no doppels would try to enter the building anymore?”
“Yes.”
You worry your lower lip. “That’s going to look suspicious to the DDD.”
“The DDD.” He says the name of the organization contemptuously. “I wish you’d leave.”
“It’s not just a job. It’s my career. I can’t leave.”
“Why not?”
“Because I want to help people. I promised I would.”
“You could do something else and still help people,” he mumbles. “Fine. If it’s going to draw more unwanted attention here, I can make certain some doppels do come in when you’re working.”
So much for the relieved idea that you and the residents would finally be safe and secure. “You can do that?”
“Of course.”
“And not let them harm anyone?”
“That is more than I can promise.”
So you’d still be putting the residents at risk. Encouraging it, even. You’d have to make absolutely certain never to let one inside.
“You’d be condemning your own kind. I’d have to call the cleaners if they threatened violence.”
“I’m aware. I have to keep you safe. If that means risking some other doppels, so be it.”
You leave the bed, walking over to the closet. Francis didn’t have many clothes aside from his work attire. He’d had few personal possessions in general from what you’ve seen so far in the apartment. Living so humbly.
The imposter rests a hand on your spine on the way past you to the bathroom, pausing to kiss your cheek. “Are you going to be alright?”
“Yes.” You select a shirt and pair of pants, folding the items still on the hangers over your arm. “I’ll be fine. Go get ready.”
The sound of the shower starting fills the background as you collect the folded ironing board from inside the closet and plug in the iron. You pad barefoot into the kitchen to get the coffee pot on, wearing one of Francis’ undershirts and your panties. You’re a little sore from the previous evening’s events. Internally. The times he had pounded into you deeply. The new bite on your shoulder. The swelling and redness seem to have dissipated. The mirror above the dresser doesn’t reveal anything too drastic looking. The puncture marks are almost invisible.
You’ve got the milkman’s pants ready when he emerges naked from the other room, still slightly damp from the shower. The brazenness still makes you blush. You know what he looks like nude by now, of course, but it feels different when it isn’t during intimacy. You watch the imitator rummaging through the dresser drawers to retrieve underwear and socks and a bow tie, secretly admiring the way his muscles shift in the warm yellow glow of the lamp, the curtains still shielding the window. You can smell the coffee brewing in the other room, easily pervading the entirety of the tiny apartment, and you inhale that enticing aroma deeply.
“So you mentioned earlier you’re in a squadron. Like a military sort?”
“Not precisely as you know it, but I suppose there are a few vague similarities.”
“What rank are you?”
“The equivalent of a lieutenant colonel, if you had to label it.”
You inch the work shirt further over the side of the ironing board to continue the pressing, smoothing out the wrinkles. “Where is the rest of your squadron?”
He shrugs. “Around,” he replies vaguely. You think he knows exactly where they are and he’s not willing to give them up. Still somewhat loyal, in spite of what’s happened between you.
“They don’t wonder where you are? Or vice versa? You don’t have some kind of a leader you have to report to?”
He pauses midway through pulling on a sock. “It doesn’t quite work like that. We are…autonomous, I suppose you would say. Working independently, but striving for the same goal.”
You hand him the shirt and he slides it over his shoulders after finishing with the socks. “So why have ranks at all then, if you’re all equals?”
“Because we’re not. Not everyone can do what I did. It’s still rare. There’s no way to instruct how to do it. It just…happens. Or doesn’t.” He finishes buttoning the front of his shirt. You help him with the cuffs of his sleeves.
“Why did you choose Francis?”
“Opportunity. Nothing more. Sheer random encounter.” You step back as he pulls each pants leg on and stands, zipping and buttoning the fly. The belt is coiled on the dresser beside the black tie. “The best decision of my existence,” he says softly, his forehead bending to touch yours.
You’re so conflicted. He’d killed the man you’d loved. But in some ways was still the man you loved. Only not. An enemy you’re supposed to be guarding against, except he no longer seems to bear any malice towards your kind. Coexisting peacefully. But the cost of that. Oh, the cost.
“I can’t say I’m grateful for what you did. But I am glad it was you, and not someone else.”
His hand cradles your head and he draws you against him. You can smell soap and shampoo. Aftershave. Your arms tighten around him.
“What did happen? During that random encounter?” You ask against his chest.
“Why do you want to know the details? It won’t change anything.”
You draw back to see his face. “Consider it a weakness of humans. There is a car accident on the interstate. The vehicles wrecked, the passengers gravely injured. We slow down or stop to look, even after emergency services have been called, even though there is nothing left to be done. We can’t look away. We have to face it. Confront our fears head on. Grieve our losses. Knowing the truth of what happened is the only way to do that.”
“If I tell you, you’re admitting he’s gone.”
You chew your lower lip, hesitating. “I suppose that would be true.”
“If that happens, you won’t have any reason to be with me anymore.” He strokes a thumb over one cheek. “Is that really what you want?”
“I…no.” Your heart is beating madly in your chest. It would be like losing Francis twice, somehow. You can’t fathom it. “I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s best I don’t know. I won’t mention it again.”
After a time the replicant finishes dressing. The black bow knotted neatly. Belt secured. Wallet tucked into his pocket, followed by his keys. You’ve hastily gotten dressed in yesterday’s clothing. You’ll return home and get properly washed and changed before returning for your shift afterwards.
The imposter pours you both a cup of the freshly brewed coffee. Strong. The way you both like it. A little cream and sugar to kill some of the bitterness stirred in.
You’re standing by the front door now. The doppelgänger holds the milkman’s cap in his hands. He doesn’t like wearing it. You can tell. You pull it from his fingers and set it on his head. Tugging the brim down a little. Smoothing some of his hair back underneath. He really did need a trim soon. You’d never seen it get this long.
“Be safe today,” he says.
“You too.”
“Do you think I could get away with coming over tonight? Is your organization going to stalk me?”
“I’m hoping they’ll calm down after a bit. They are still watching you. Me. Us. So maybe wait a couple of days, make it not so obvious.”
“I don’t think I can manage a couple of days.”
“You’ll still see me in the booth.”
“That’s not the same.”
“I know, Francis. If circumstances were different…I’m trying keep you safe.”
“I know.” He sighs. “Alright. A couple of days, then. Surely the weekend as well?”
“Yes. Definitely.”
He smiles. “Things looking up already. Alright, sweetheart.” He bends to kiss your mouth. “I’ll see you later.”
You exit the apartment and he locks the door. Still no one else stirring in the building yet. He ignores the elevator and begins descending the staircase. You follow him. He’s faster than you, his longer limbs making short work of the steps. Already nearly an entire flight down from you.
He pauses on the landing, looking back at you as you halt, fingers curled over the railing.
“Francis.” You rush down the stairs, throwing yourself at him when you reach the bottom, the momentum pushing him back against the wall. Planting kisses along the freshly shaved cheeks and jaw. “I miss you already.”
“Me too, love.” His arms envelop you and you bury your face against his shirt. Suddenly you find yourself wanting to cling to him desperately. So afraid for him. More than you were even for yourself.
It’s a relief when you see him return safely later that day; it’s all you can do not to open the booth and fling yourself back into his arms. But the camera mounted on the wall over your shoulder is a constant reminder. You’re being watched.
You’re not safe at all.
***
Saturday morning finds you standing in what was once an impressive garden beside your house. Now chock full of wildflowers and overgrown with weeds. Francis’ copy is beside you, kneeling down, his fingers raking the earth, pushing impatiently at the intruding vegetation. “The soil is still good. You could plant here again easily.”
“My grandfather would have been happy to see that. It just got to be too much for him to maintain. He had a hard time finding help for the farm. People lured into moving to the city. Better paying jobs. Fancier homes. A variety of exciting new stores to shop in. My parents both had that itch.”
“You’re somewhere in the middle.” He stands, dusting his hands off.
You nod. “I guess I am. I can appreciate the value of being in the city. The benefits. But I recognize the drawbacks, too. I love being here. It always feels right. I wish I could restore things to the way they were.”
“Maybe you could. Not to the extreme of running a business with employees, but to build it back up, little by little.”
“It would be a full time process.”
“You could do it. We could do it,” he adds softly.
“Is that really what you’d want?”
“I want you,” he says, his hands now seated on your waist, drawing you closer. He kisses you and you sigh contentedly.
“When I’m with you, it’s like the rest of the world goes away. There is no DDD or invasion. It’s just us.”
“It could really be like that.”
“No one ever leaves the DDD voluntarily. And you’d be labeled a deserter, wouldn’t you? We’d be chased. Hunted down. There’s only one punishment for someone who’s a coconspirator.” It didn’t happen often, but occasionally there were stories of humans accepting bribes. Working together with the doppels. It did not end well for the humans making those bargains; did not end well for the invaders, either.
“We’ll keep running so they can’t catch us. To the ends of the earth.” He tugs on your hand and you allow him to, following him. Navigating through the overgrowth, threading through it to find your path. Moving faster and faster, a full jog now. Still anchored to the doppelgänger’s hand.
He halts abruptly and you collide with him. Both breathing heavily. He descends and you tumble down with him. You’re in a patch of wildflowers, their perfumed scent heavy in the air.
You lie together like that with your head pillowed on his chest, one arm tucked around you. “Did you ever have anything like this before? Was there someone else?”
“Never.”
You burrow a little deeper, satisfied with the answer. Would you have been jealous if he’d said yes? Strange to think that way. But yes, you would be, you realize. The concept of sharing, the idea of affection for someone other than yourself bothers you.
“Do you think you could ever find yourself caring for me? Not for the face I wear. What’s behind it, I mean. My true self.” Your head lifts, your eyes searching his features. “I want you to love me as much as you love the man. More than that.”
“You said…you don’t even have words for human emotions. They don’t exist for your kind.”
“They don’t. They didn’t. A change now. Evolution. Something unanticipated. That’s what the ache is, isn’t it? How terrible this feeling is. How wonderful. Paradox.” He pulls your face towards his, kissing you. “I need you, sweetheart. More than you’ll ever know.”
You kiss him back. You can’t speak with words. It’s too overwhelming. Too confusing trying to separate the man and the invader. You’d been telling yourself all along it was your feelings for the former that had driven all your actions. That had been true enough in the beginning. But now. Now there were doubts creeping in. Wondering it wasn’t the other that you had feelings for. Could you really love a monster?
“Need to feel you, love, please.” The sound of his belt being undone. Dark slacks today now that he wasn’t working. Your fingers join him there, finding his cock already hard, leaking in anticipation. So hungry, so fast. Your body responding in kind, drooling for him.
You straddle his hips, the hem of your skirt bunched around your waist. Struggling to hold the crotch of your panties aside, to guide him inside of you. Gasping when you succeed. You lower yourself down onto him. The sun is warm on your back. You lift up slightly and sit back down. Impaling yourself again. Your hips roll back and forth as you lean down to kiss him. Rocking, sliding that prick in and out of your pussy. He slips completely free and you hurriedly snake a hand between your bodies, realigning him. The drag against your clit sending sparks through you. You keep the hand there, touching yourself, touching him. Feeling the heightened friction of the panties digging against your hand, against your lover’s dick. The nails of your other hand raking his chest through his shirt.
You kiss him, tasting the salt of the perspiration that has begun. It’s so hot. Outside. Inside of you. His fingers touch your cheek, seed your hair, hold your mouth against his as his hips lift to meet you. Driving him deeper inside. You look down at the man whose face you’d seen behind glass for all those months. Those dark, tired eyes on yours. Lick his mouth back open, enjoying the mash of the hand still between your bodies, grinding against the bundle of nerve endings. His lips at your jaw and throat and beside your ear. “I love you,” he whispers, and you shatter around him, your walls spasming, your body jerking through release.
It’s easy to say the phrase back to him when you’re in the height of bliss, just three simple little words that escape above his face, panted between noises of pleasure.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
His hips snap up and you feel the jet of seed inside you. Your forehead drops to his, your arms and legs suddenly shaking. You dismount and drop down beside him, your face burrowing again.
“I meant it,” he says softly. “What I said.”
“I know. So did I.” It’s the truth, you realize. Somehow, the impossible had happened.
You’d fallen in love with a doppelgänger.
***
The weekend flies by.
You are back in the security booth once again the following Monday. Straightening out the desk once more. You really could not understand why your coworkers were so disorganized. You’ve nearly finished the task when you realize through your peripheral vision that someone has entered the apartment building.
Your head lifts to see Izaack Gauss.
Or what looked like him; your instincts kicking in once again. It’s most certainly a doppel.
The face has been perfectly replicated, the second floor resident’s exaggerated features all ones you recognize: the large cleft chin and wide nose, the thick dark eyebrows set above glacier blue eyes, that wide stretch of teeth just a little too large for comfort, becoming almost a rictus grin. One that doesn’t touch the imposter’s eyes.
“Good morning,” he greets you, sliding his ID card and entry request through the stainless steel slot at the bottom of the window.
You look over the identification first. Expiration date checks out, the image and name both correct. Your eyes flick up before you study the other document. On the day’s list. DDD logo present. Occupation of reporter correct. Address verified.
“May I come in? As you can see everything is in order.”
The ID card is still clutched in your hands. You tap it against the desk absently. You know it’s not really him. You just don’t have any evidence to support your suspicion yet.
“Let me just make a quick phone call to your residence.”
You lift the receiver off the hook, dialing the first number.
“I can smell him on you.”
Your hand freezes. “I’m sorry?”
The large nostrils flare and the suited figure inhales deeply. “All over you. Inside of you. He’s been there, hasn’t he? You’ve let him in.” Little burst capillaries spidering across his eyes now. A thin trail of spit glistening on his lower lip. “You could let me inside, too.”
You flip the plastic shielding covering the alarm down and slap the red button, the steel shutters instantly dropping down to cover the glass. Hanging up hurriedly and dialing a new number, the DDD operator answering you in the same calm manor they always adopt, assuring you the cleaners will be on their way shortly.
Time seems to slow to a crawl. You hear the sounds of the disposal team making their way inside. Yelling. Gunfire. Then silence. The alarm stops sounding. The steel shutter retracts. On the other side of the window, you can see a member of the DDD wearing a yellow hazmat suit. “The doppelgänger has been taken care of. You can return to work now.”
You nod, willing your shaking hands to be still.
***
“There was a doppel today.”
The piece of cake you’re chewing tastes like ash. It’s from your favorite bakery, a treat from your replicant beau. Washed down with an ice cold sample of the milk he delivers. You wish you could enjoy it. But your taste buds won’t cooperate. You’re still shaken from what had happened earlier.
“Yes. There were to be several. What’s wrong?”
“He knew about us, Francis.”
He sets his fork down slowly. “Tell me what happened.”
“He looked just like Mr. Gauss. The reporter that lives alone on the second floor. Paperwork checked out. But I could tell something was off right away. And he said he could smell you on me. In me. He knew what we’ve done together.”
You see the copycat milkman’s Adam’s apple move above his shirt collar as he swallows loudly. “And then you called the cleaners?”
“Yes.”
“Did he get a chance to say anything to them?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“And the surveillance cameras?”
“Video feed only, no audio.”
A heavy sigh. “Alright. I’m sorry that happened to you. That was not a member of my squadron, I assure you.”
“You said they wouldn’t come near the building, because of the marks. Other than the ones you sent as decoys to fool the DDD.”
“I didn’t think they would. Honestly, I didn’t. I would never deliberately put you in harm’s way. You know that.” His hand reaches for yours across the tiny kitchen table in the third floor apartment. “Had to just be an anomaly. Had to be,” he repeats, sounding as if he’s trying to reassure himself as well as you.
“What if it’s not?”
He pushes back from the table, kneeling beside you, reaching for one of your hands and pressing his lips to it, holding it against his cheek. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. I swear to you. I love you,” he says, and your heart flutters. The palm of his free hand rests somewhere along your ankle. Sliding up, bringing the hem of your skirt with it. He kisses your knee. The top of the joint. The inside. Stands and pulls you with him. Lifting you and sitting you on the counter, your skirt gathered in messy folds around your hips. His fingers dig into the sides of the underwear clinging to them, dragging them roughly down. He’s impatient, possessive. Scared, you think.
“I want to make a baby with you.”
“Francis…” Your sex throbs at the suggestion. Such a dangerous idea.
“I want them to know you’re mine. Fuck the DDD and fuck the other doppels.” His face moves against your throat, one hand on your hip as he thrusts into you, the other braced on the overhead cabinet behind you.
“I am yours.”
He huffs a moan. “You’re so perfect for me.”
You gasp when he reaches deeper inside of you, clutching the back of his shirt collar, your other hand at his waist, knees digging into his hips as he ruts against you. Your fingers travel to his hair, those cocoa locks that are growing curlier the more they lengthen. You have to cut them for him, or send him to a barber, or…
“Say it. Please, please say it. Do you want me to beg? I’ll do it. Please…”
You know what he wants. What he needs to hear. “I love you.” The wood behind you groans with the tension his hand places on it as he fucks you harder, faster. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” uttered each time he’s sheathed inside you.
Touching his cheek now, watching his mouth fall open, the kind of wonder in those dark eyes, as if he’s discovering you all over again for the first time, coming apart, waiting to be rebuilt. You both shatter and then there is silence save for the ticking of the clock mounted on the kitchen wall and the breaths you trade, a warm exchange of air in the scant space that divides you.
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greenandsorrow · 2 months
Text
the price for misbehaving (i)
Alastor in the rut x gn!reader
WARNINGS; 18+ below cut, reader with female parts, deer!demon!reader, doe!demon!reader, breeding!k1nk, primal instincts, premature ejaculation, horniness & hormones, mentions of deer mating season, dry humping, cr3am p1e, penetrative sex, marking & biting, masturbation, friends to lovers, very descriptive, smut with emotion, corn with plot, fictional man being pathetic
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Banners from; @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics
Please do not repost or directly copy my work and if you take inspiration for something similar don't forget to credit me.❤️
I somehow always manage to write more than originally planned, so this is big. Also, this is my first time writing a gender neutral reader I'm still learning.
my original idea ~post rut Alastor (ii) coming soon~
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Alastor is the radio demon. You have no clue how he manages to behave like he's the epitome of etiquette and a true gentleman, while also having the reputation of one of the most dangerous citizens of Hell, an overlord, a sinister killer and a cannibal.
Alastor is your friend. You fell in Hell three decades after him, but the fact that you're also a deer demon seemed to get him interested in you. His smile is less a sign of dominance and more one of sympathy around you. What's more, the radio demon is a tad bit protective when it comes to you. You'll never know it, but Alastor has his way of keeping you safe, discreetly pulling the strings, luckily for your sake.
He had been missing for years and when he had come to your door, big grin, shiny hooves and polished cane and had told you about the "Hazbin Hotel" you hadn't questioned much. It was weird that someone like him would back up Lucifer's daughter on such an idealistic plan, but with the extermination being a constant bane in your life, you had agreed heartily. You had wrapped your arms around Alastor's lean frame in a never recorpirated hug and you'd been off to your new place of residence.
You like the hotel. You and Niffty are old friends, the barman is a familiar face and Charlie is thrilled to have you here. The other residents have been no trouble to you, so you've managed to adjust to your new lifestyle no problem.
Let's not forget one thing though, you're all sinners and Alastor is ten times the amount you are. This comes with consequences for him. Alastor is bound to face an eternal struggle against his animal side, a struggle that he's been destined to lose. According to Angel, the radio demon you call your friend would identify as asexual had he been born later on Earth. But even with that, the urges he has to experience during the rutting season can't be prevented. You're still unaware your friend has to go through this.
But that's Alastor's price for misbehaving.
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It's another evening at the hotel.
Charlie and Vaggie are on a date and that means no planned activities for the rest of you. You like the peace and quiet. Your deer ears are lowered in concentration as you're sitting on the couch of the lounge area, reading a book which has turned out to be a sick and twisted edition of Pride & Prejudice.
Alastor's been very distant since the beginning of autumn. More than usual. It's almost October now... and it has peaked your interest why he has been spending whole days locked up in his quarters. Sometime during September, you two had been chatting merrily about jazz, when all of a sudden his pupils had shrank and he had let out an uncharacteristically shaky sigh. You remember how his breathing had sped up and he had smiled politely before vanishing into thin air.
You're about to stand up and go to your room, when your ears practically perk up at the sound of static. You know this sound... and even though it usually means bad news, you look up and give the source of it a little smile. "Oh, hi Al..."
Alastor's antlers begin to grow, but he can control himself for now. The rutting starts hitting him with a new wave of frustration and it's getting worse now that he's in your presence.
"My favorite y/n! What are you reading my dear?", his grin and confidence hide how vulnerable he feels in this state.
"Charlie gifted me some of her old books and-"
"Oh Charlie! She is a gem, isn't she?" Alastor suddenly leans to the side, as if trying to scratch something out of his hair. His face quickly returns back to its normal grin... but he also begins to scratch his arm.
You chuckle awkwardly. Why is he looking so irritable?
"Well, she's so nice, I can't disagree with you there... and I'm glad she finally decided to take some time off to spend with her girlfriend." He laughs, showing off his sharp teeth as you initiate in the small talk.
Alastor can feel a voice deep within calling him to give in and claim you, breed you 'till his hunger is satisfied. The radio demon's expression fades to an empty, dull stare, as his instincts fight against him. Now you're feeling uneasy and you shift in your seat.
"Ah- sorry dear. Got caught up there, I forgot myself." Alastor takes a quick breath, his eyes narrow as he struggles to stay in control. "Don't you worry y/n! I'm certainly quite harmless."
He's in full rutting mode, his voice starts becoming breathy, the animalistic urges taking over. It's only getting worse as he stands close to you, the hormones increasing his urge to be near you, to make you his and his alone-
His voice is hoarse now and his breathing is heavier. "Have you seen Niffty by chance?" His ears move as if they're itching him.
You clear your throat and try to keep your curiosity regarding his behavior at bay. "I'm afraid I haven't, she's probably killing bugs somewhere..."
Alastor's expression shifts to one of pure annoyance. To your oblivious so far mind, Al is probably just pissed off at something. "Well then, if you happen to see her, do tell her she better not disturb me at my room... and don't you dare forget it my dear!"
"I- I won't."
His pupils almost completely disappear as he stares at you and his mouth curls into a snarl with his yellowish teeth out. He has a hypnotic effect on you, you're beginning to feel lightheaded being near him. He takes a step back, moving a safe distance away from you, because he feels like he's gonna launch on you at any given moment. Alastor is getting tired of trying to maintain his composure around you.
He hates how shallow his breathing has become, how the urge to take you has become too much for him to bear. A low growling noise escapes him. Alastor watches you as you resume your previous activity of reading. Humiliated from his lack of control and frustrated from the stinging sensation in his loins he slips away from the lounge.
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Alastor is alone now, his eyes wild with lust and desperation as he looks around his room in a frenzy. He grabs a pillow and starts rubbing his groin against it. He feels like his body is melting from all the heat... he can't help but imagine the pillow is your backside.
"Oh~", he breathes out raggedly, his inhales shallower and shallower as his imagination toys with him. You'd look so delicious in the place of the lifeless pillow... Alastor's heart is racing and his antlers have grown sharp and tall on his head. He is overwhelmed, being rather sexually unbothered the rest of the year has made his shaft extra sensitive .
...why him? Why does he have to go through this rutting thing? It makes him feel powerless and he hates it...
Alastor groans in desperation. He squeezes his eyes shut, imagining your soft skin sliding against his body... He thinks of your cute fluffy tail. You get all your clothes tailored so that there's space for it to protrude... he always tucks his in his suit pants...
In a fury, he takes off his coat and crawls on the bed, placing the pillow between his legs. He's in all fours as he humps it like a real deer.
He keeps growling, the sound mixing with static. He can't stop thinking of you- the perfect mate... another deer. Alastor's mind is playing out all these amazing things, your smile and your voice, your butt, your ears that match his own... and your neck that he'd definitely mark with his teeth if he was ever given the chance.
Alastor is in a trance. With shaky hands he curses himself for, he reaches down to his crotch and takes out his cock. His tip is flushed and swollen and he hisses as he continues to push his hips against the pillow. The deer demon grunts softly, his hips moving involuntarily with restless abandon as he pretends to be mating with a partner.
"Take that... oh~" Alastor's cock throbs painfully, desperate for release. The pillow has been providing him with some much needed friction the last few weeks, but he knows it soon won't be enough to satisfy him. His red hair is sticking to his forehead and he's panting so much, chasing his release with a desperation he'd consider pathetic, if he could focus on anything else than his tightening balls.
Alastor continues to rub against the pillow and the motion makes his deer tail slip out of his suit pants. He can feel his body heat up even more, sweat beading on his forehead as he approaches his climax.
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Your curiosity has gotten the best of you. You can't concentrate on your book and all you can think of is Alastor. In any case, the other residents of the hotel are busy doing their own thing, so there's no one stopping you from walking all the way to Alastor's rooms. There's static coming from his bedroom, but what really intrigues you are the groans... they're rather guttural... You assume maybe he hunted down an animal and he's devouring it? This has to be it...
On the other side of the door, Alastor is shaking with desire and his heart is pounding. The smell of you that he assumes is part of his fantasy is driving him insane, as he is almost ready to release a torrent of hot cum on his pillow.
"Alastor?", you knock on the door.
This sudden surprise almost causes Alastor to fall over. He quickly covers his twitching member and throws the pillow away from him. One would expect him to feel embarrassed, but his first thought at being caught red handed is to kill you. Luckily for you, it's just a thought.
"Al? It's y/n. Can I come in?"
The radio demon's face contorts in desperation as he realizes how unsatisfied he feels. His hips are still rocking back and forth slightly, despite his attempts to control his body.
Why did you have to pay him a visit NOW? He was so close to finding relief...
Alastor has become desperate and not to mention agitated. What if you smell his arousal in the air? What if you look down and see the outline of his dick in his pants?!
He groans and shifts uncomfortably. The demon closes his eyes for a moment as he tries to even out his breathing.
Eventually, he shakes his head and walks to the door. He has fought against mighty overlords, he shouldn't hesitate to face his harmless friend just because he is in the rut.
Alastor doesn't want to admit it, but he most definitely is in breeding mode. Proof of that... the moment he opens the door for you, your smell becomes so strong to his heightened senses that he almost cums in his pants from it. Your friend swallows a groan.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit my dear?"
Taking in his appearance, something is definitely off to your inquisitive eyes. You notice how he's only in his shirt and vest, something truly rare for the Alastor you've come to know. His bow tie is crooked and the cherry on top... you can see his tail! It's red like his ears and... moving? You wonder why. Is he in musth or something? you joke in your head.
"I was just bored in all honesty... Everyone is occupied with something. Um... you look... sick?"
"Ha!Ha! Don't be absurd y/n! You can't get any sicker than you already are in Hell!" he can't hide the slight edge from his voice. He claims he is fine, but the look on his face screams otherwise.
Alastor's temperature keeps rising, his body is so sensitive and without realizing it, he neglects to filter his voice.
"Would you like to come in?"
Your eyes widen and you look at him with genuine surprise clear on your features. He quickly catches up that he screwed, but lets it go, the shivers he's starting to experience as his unattended cock is asking for some action having gained all his focus.
The air in the room is thick and you begin to have second thoughts about your decision to come here, but it's too late for that, so you just walk in Alastor's bedroom. His quarters are always clean and intimidating like their occupant. Still, you like coming here, he's never been hostile towards you and if anything, dancing with Alastor or spilling some tea with him has always been part of your routine here at the hotel.
"Wanna dance?"
"You know I always do." Alastor manages to keep his smile and composure despite the sweat running down his back.
The jookbox starts playing on its own and you casually walk closer to your years long friend. Since he's always been much taller, you place your hands on his chest, while he wraps his own around your waist.
Alastor's lips start tingling as he looks down at your exposed neck. He bites the insides of his mouth until he tastes blood, he can't allow himself to think about you like that.
You sway back and forth in the rhythm of the old timey tunes, inevitably rubbing against him. The new found friction has him biting down on his tongue and clenching his fists behind your back until his nails are piercing his palms, otherwise he'd be howling out in despair.
Immersed in the songs you love so much, you unconsciously shift even closer to your fellow deer demon, but he harshly jerks away from you, his expression growing panicked. "H- haha... I c- can't let you d- do that my friend!"
You frown. Why can't you dance with him like you always do? ...and did the radio demon just stutter? You sigh at his lack of cheerfulness and look down.
Your now downcast gaze gives you a nice view of his... crotch area... and the said area has a raging bulge. Your first thought is to touch it and indulge in the attraction you've always felt for Alastor, but the way his antlers are growing right now and the static that's peaking up again... makes you turn to leave.
Long fingers wrap around your wrist in an instant and when you turn back at him, his eyes have changed.
"The song's not over dear y/n.", he says in the same strained tone and you swallow.
"R- right... my bad."
He has you pressed tightly against him in no time and he's swaying with you almost like he's on autopilot. And you can now feel his unbelievably hard erection against your lower body. Alastor grunts softly, his smile faltering as his cock keeps throbbing painfully within his pants, desperate for release.
The demon's eyes wander over you, taking in your form. He knows he has to maintain some semblance of control, but his hormones are off the roof. Without realizing the inappropriateness of his actions, Alastor reaches out to touch you, his fingers grazing the skin of your cheek. The demon's cock throbs even harder at the contact, leaking pre-cum in his underwear.
"You're so beautiful..."
Heat pools in your belly and your face flushes at his simple comment. He's a charmer, but that's new. His monocle slips down slightly as he leans in close, his scent of musk and arousal surrounding you.
Alastor's hands move to your hips, pulling you impossibly close. His eyes lock onto yours, filled with lust and a primal need. He presses his hips against yours and you can feel his clothed cock twitching eagerly.
His monocle falls to the floor as he loses himself in the rutting.
"Al- what's happening?"
Before you can question his unusual behaviour any further, Al presses his hardened length against your stomach with intent. A mix of frustration and pleasure is clear on his features.
To say you're surprised would be an understatement, but you don't stop him. You watch in awe as your bricked up friend loses himself to lust and his need to mate.
Your innocent dancing moment has turned into him dry humping you. He releases a guttural groan, too far gone to care about composure.
Alastor begins to grind against you faster, mimicking the movements of a rutting deer. His grip tightens around you, his need growing stronger and overwhelming. The bulge in his pants keeps pushing insistently against you, but you're so stunned by this turn of events that you grab him by the arms and take a step back.
Alastor's eyes flatter open and for a moment... he snaps out of his blurry state of mind. He straightens and clears his throat. He then gives you a stern look, with his ears lowered.
"Get out."
"B- but we were-"
"You don't want to make me repeat myself."
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The moment he's alone again, Alastor works the buttons of his dress pants in a daze, freeing his swollen cock. A low growl rumbles in his chest and the deer demon is convinced that if he doesn't cum in the following minute, he's going to die a second time. He keeps making soft sounds, his body aching with the need to mate.
He had you right here, but he can't bring himself to be so vulnerable in front of someone other than himself.
What would Vox say if he found out that Alastor is forced to go through a mating season like some fucking animal? Why does the price of his sins have to manifest into some primal need to breed?
"Fffffuck!"
His mind gets fixated on the ache between his legs.
With an animalistic sound of pure lust, Alastor reaches down and wraps his fingers around one of his heavy testacles. He squeezes it gently, feeling his warm seed oozing out his slit. He leaks copious amounts of pre-cum on his crimson bedsheets. The radio demon watches, transfixed by the sight of his own seed dripping down the length of his hard dick. It's a powerful aphrodisiac for him and he can't help but imagine it spilling into you instead.
His cock twitches in anticipation and he gives in. Every day since the rutting season began, he has been trying to suppress his instincts and today has been no different, if anything, your presence made his hormones go even more nuts... and you should be happy you're not carrying his fawns by now.
Alastor begins to stroke himself, legs spread and sweat making his clothes stick to his body. His breath catches in his throat as his hips involuntarily back into his hand. The tips of his claws grow slightly and he's jerking himself off at a punishing pace now. Alastor's groans turn into pleasured whimpers as he arches his back, driving his erection deeper in his hand.
What would it feel like to finish inside you? To make you come... To have your heat contracting around his rock-hard member as you milk him past the point of no return?
"Oh- ...agh- y/n..." He's murmuring things in unknown languages, but it all comes back to your name.
Alastor's hips begin to thrust forward in time with his strokes, seeking release from the torment of his lust. He snarls and growls in a throaty manner. He physically can't take it anymore, his balls feel like they're on fire...
The radio demon's eyes roll back in his head, the pleasure is intense, but it's only fueling his desire for a real partner more. His fingers are sliding up and down his sensitive shaft and he can feel himself getting closer, but he knows that's not enough. Al's breath has become ragged, his monocle forgotten along with his pride somewhere far away... his vision is blurring...
Feeling himself nearing the edge, Alastor grits his teeth and pushes through the pain. His muscles tense... and then, he finally comes in a powerful burst of pleasure, shooting thick ropes of cum across the room. He keeps coming, his hips bucking upward, pushing his cock even deeper into his fist as he empties himself.
Alastor's orgasm was intense, almost violent, but it was the sweet release he's been craving all day long. As his climax finally begins to subside, the demon collapses back onto his bed, panting heavily.
However, his cock has remained hard and throbbing between his legs, demanding more attention as he tries to catch his breath.
Slowly, a tired Alastor sits up and glances down at his still engorged member. A part of him is reveling in the feeling of power that comes with being so thoroughly aroused. He needs to fuck something, anything, his eyes are gleaming with lust.
But hasn't he been tormented enough? Why isn't he satisfied yet?
He reaches for the nearest object. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it can take his powerful cock and bear the brunt of his ferocious passion. With a sinister chuckle, Alastor picks up another unlucky cushion and holds it tightly against his hips. His cock jerks repeatedly as he positions himself with the head of his shaft pressing against the soft fabric.
The cushion offers little resistance but serves as an outlet for Alastor's raging desire. He pounds away at it, relentlessly, his body shaking. With the ever present sound of static, evidence of his frustration, he rhythmically pistons in and out of his makeshift partner with brutal force.
He's been doing this for weeks now, all the unsatisfied hunger making him lose his sanity bit by bit.
The radio demon's eyes are glazed over with passion. He continues fucking the cushion with savage intensity... still he wishes he could take it out on someone made of flesh and blood, someone who would react and offer him some reassurance that he's not going to pass out.
The pleasure is threatening to overwhelm Alastor once again and with labored breathing, he frantically moves his hips-
"N- no, n- no....agh-" He lets out a feral roar, spurting a sticky cumshot onto the cushion. This time, when he collapses on the mattress, he is exhausted.
He doesn't bother looking down at his angry cock, the discomfort isn't going away till the mating season ends...
...let's go back to you now.
After being so abruptly pushed away by Alastor, you went straight to your room. You have a lot to ponder over after tonight. Maybe you did have a small a crush on your friend that had allowed the situation to escalate. His behavior has been so off putting though.
You'd been proud of yourself, considering that you know Alastor better than anyone else in Hell, since he talks about everything with you over a cup of tea. He had been so excited to tell you he'll soon be back on air and he's always somewhere around you at all times. So, the fact that he just expressed sexual desire for you and then told you to leave him alone immediately after...
You would have never guessed that your fellow deer demon is interested in sex. He's been in the company of some of the most desired demons, but he's simply not into that kind of thing... Yet, he had dry humped you like some desperate animal.
His scent had been so blissful to your nostrils, that he had almost woken something primal in your own body. There's definitely a lot of tension between you two now and you hope that tomorrow he will approach you.
You sigh and get all cozy under your bed covers. How should you deal with the situation at hand? You know him. Not just the radio demon, or Alastor the cannibal, but him.
Maybe the whole redemption thing is working, but when did you start being so considerate and thoughtful of other sinners' hardships? And if your friend's hardship is a constant hard on, perhaps your services will be appreciated... or you've just been hanging out with Angel too much.
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It's a new day in Hell.
You take your time getting ready before joining Niffty in the kitchen to make breakfast.
Alastor is sat on his bed, his face buried in his hands as he trembles with unwanted arousal. He's almost at the point of a nervous breakdown. The radio demon is getting angrier with himself, the urge to find you and claim you is getting worse and worse and he struggles to maintain his calm.
Alastor gets ready. His routine a bit different when in rutting mode. He first relieves some of the pressure in his balls, he then puts on a clean shirt, fixes his hair and places his red monocle back in place. And of course, his smile, because he's never fully dressed without one!
"Oh good morning my fellows! What a pleasant breakfast you seem to be having!" He prefers to eat alone, so him appearing late isn't something worth noticing... but the tenting in his trousers definitely is... and when Angel smirks mischievously at him, Alastor smiles in such an unnerving manner that the spider demon has to cower behind Husk.
"Al! Morning!", you say a bit too cheerfully. Your deer ears rise on your head to match your general attitude.
The radio demon grins at you, internally relieved you're not keeping last night against him. He rarely feels any remorse (part of why he's in Hell), but he's not proud of snapping at you last night just because he's irritable and frustrated 24/7. You're a deer demon like him, but you never get in heat like an animal, you weren't as sinister as he was when alive and therefore your punishment isn't as tormenting.
You stand up and start gathering the dishes. Charlie is eager to help you, but you manage to deny her excessive kindness for once.
Alastor swallows a guttural growl as you turn your back at him and start walking to the kitchen, your deer tail and your ass all too enticing for him. His legs begin to move against his will, following you like he's being driven purely by instinct. He is once again biting his tongue hard enough to taste the familiar to him metallic taste of blood. There is a certain strain the urge is causing him... and for once Alastor is feeling desperate for touch.
"Angel and I are going outside today, he said he wants me to meet a friend of his... um, I think her name's Cherri or something." You obviously felt his presence, his red eyes feasting on your form the whole time.
"How delightful, making new acquaintances! I am still decorating my humble station. Haha!"
"Oh, I can't wait to experience your radio show again Al! It's been so long!" His arrogant smirk is accompanied by a twitch of his stiff dick. The energy boost he feels when you acknowledge his power... it makes him dangerously lightheaded.
He walks closer to you, looming right behind you as you stretch to put something on a high self. Alastor has you trapped between the kitchen counter and his body. The demon's cock throbs painfully against the fabric of his pants. The said fabric growing damp as he grows harder.
With a frenzied urgency, Alastor gives in to his animal side and leans in, his hot breath in your ear is sending shivers down your spine, your pupils dilating.
"Do you even realize what you've been doing to me sweet y/n?"
He is getting impatient... and when you don't answer him immediately, he presses his tent against your ass. "Do you my little deer?"
The sound of static feels the air, his voice distorted and his breathing heavier than before. "You... have no idea how much I want- no... how much I need this, with you."
You swallow, your own breath has sped up and heat has pooled in your tummy again. But when you turn to look at him, you come face to face with a hideous creature with wild eyes. You flinch. Alastor's smile fails him and you swear you hear the most discreet of sniffles coming from him.
"Help me." That's proof enough for you that your friend is going through something he clearly didn't ask for, but it's taking over him anyway.
Angel Dust has described to you how he'd needed time to get used to having multiple arms and you have to file down your antlers daily, so that they don't overgrow and cause you headaches. Alastor on the other hand loses himself to primal urges once a year.
You lock your gaze on his and extend a steady hand, placing it on the side of his pale face. Not only does he allow it, but your small gesture seems to have an effect on Alastor, his demon form receding... and you can see how sweaty and shaky he really is, while trying so hard to hold back from bending you over the counter and taking you raw right now.
"Stay still..." It's now or never for you. You hesitantly cup the bulge on his pants.
Alastor gasps, his eyes rolling back in his head as he leans into your touch. He's already so aroused that any contact is sending shivers down his spine. He buries his face in your neck and starts nibbling or better... biting around your collarbones. It’s a cannibalistic urge of his, but he would kill himself before causing you any real harm.
Alastor groans, his still clothed member twitching under the pressure of your hand. The demon can barely think straight, his rutting instincts taking over completely.
"I need... I need to be inside you." He can only whisper, reaching down to pull your shirt up, his fingers trembling as he does, revealing your upper body to him. "Yes... I need you."
This is all so sudden for you, but you finally know with certainty what's happening. "You're... mating or something?"
You stop rubbing his clothed crotch and Alastor moans, the sound carrying the old audio like effect. He nods slightly, his hips bucking against your hand. He's so close to losing control. The mating season has driven him mad with lust. A lust projected on you it seems.
"Y/n... I need you now."
"Al... they- they're gonna hear us... we're in the frickin' kitchen! ...we can't...can't-"
Alastor's eyes widen and he stumbles back a step, his erection painfully asking to be freed from his dress pants. He looks at you incredulously, angrily. "What?! But I... I said that I need you." He starts panting, there's a look of betrayal on his face that has you short circuiting.
"I'm already half naked here and you're... you're obviously hard- it's too risky!"
"I. Don't. Care."
"Well you should... but..." you sigh.
"I do have another idea. I've been rather inactive in the afterlife but... I can do it for you."
Your friend's heart is racing with anticipation. He tries to control his unsteady breathing without much success. "Another idea?" He asks with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "What is it?"
"I know it's not what you really crave... but I can... you know... jerk you off?"
Did you really just say that?
He begins to unbutton his pants hurriedly. "Very well..." As Alastor's pants fall to his knees, he scratches his fluffy ears, presenting his throbbing member to you. It's a sight to behold; long with a shimmering dew covering the tip. "Do it."
Your mouth is watering as your eyes take in Alastor's cock. The head of it is a deep reddish purple, almost glowing with arousal. His ballsack hangs heavy, clearly filled with seed, so that he can breed for as long as the rutting lasts. Something must've altered in your brain's chemistry, because you take his balls in your hand, gently playing with them. The deer demon lets out a low moan, his hips thrusting forward slightly. The sensation of your hand on his sensitive balls is almost too much for him to bear...
"More..." he manages to whisper between pants.
Encouraged by his reaction, you squeeze his balls softly and Al lets out a throaty groan, his dick twitching almost ready to explode. He's not used to other people touching him.
You're still unsure if that's the right thing to do in the kitchen, where anyone can walk in at any given moment. But he seems to be really into it and the look in his eyes makes it clear to you that you can't just stop now. So that's what he's been struggling with, what's been making him stay locked in his room, until dealing with it on his own wasn't enough.
Alastor's gaze is pleading you and his voice comes out shaky, unfiltered.
"Please... I need more..." He then reaches down and moves your hand on his eager cock. You wrap your fingers around his length, with your thumb resting on his head, tracing it slowly. The sounds he makes and the way his features contort with pleasure makes you start stroking him.
The overlord can't believe what's happening. He has never experienced anything like this and it feels incredible. The more you stroke him, the more he bucks his hips into your hand. "Y- yes... just like that..."
You feel so confident now that he seems to have let go completely, allowing you to do as you please with his body. You know teasing isn't fair, especially in his hormonal state, but you can't help slowing down your hand's movements, playing with the friction you're providing him with. He lets out a frustrated huff of air, his nostrils flaring. "Faster."
"Nope, I told you I don't want anyone finding us out."
"I didn't ask you darling. It was an order."
You stubbornly slow down your hand even more and you know that this is far from enough for him. Alastor needs more speed, more pressure.
"I... Don't... Give a single penny if they'll hear us... J- just... y/n, get me there." His body trembles with need as he speaks to you.
"You... you accepted to help me... and yet you- you refuse to give me what I want." He looks down at your lips with a mix of lust and anger in his bright eyes.
You suppress a mischievous giggle. It's empowering seeing such a strong demon being dependent on you. You can feel the heat radiating from his dick and he makes a desperate little sound when you begin moving your hand up and down his long member again.
You almost feel pitty for him, teasing is fun, but you don't want to disrespect him or humiliate him while he's so vulnerable and not in control. Though that decision has nothing to do with the fact that he could kill you, you actually feel strongly for him and the way both pairs of your ears move in sink as you peak up pace is so... natural for you, like you two belong together in a primal sense.
Alastor feels his muscles tensing up and his black heart is pounding like crazy. "I can't- can't-" He looks mesmerized at your hand jerking him off at a now delicious speed.
You are so turned on and you want to give him all the pleasure you can in the hotel's kitchen. You begin to sink on your knees and you see him gulp. Your friend freezes for a moment, his mind racing with images of pleasure and ecstasy.
"That's new."
"How so Al?"
"I've never had that... but I want to now."
You can't help but smile. He probably never wanted a blow job before and he won't be in the mood for one after the rutting ends.
You're now at the right height so you just go for it, leaning in. Your tongue swirls around his pulsating cockhead and you're surprised from the amount of pre cum he can produce. Alastor's eyes roll back in his head as he lets out a long, low moan. The sensation of your warm breath and wet tongue on him sends shivers down his spine. "Don't stop..."
You lick his slit and he groans deeply, his eyes squeezing shut. "Yeah... Keep doing this... agh~"
You're offering stimulation and he's gritting his teeth at the feeling, but something isn't quite right. You're once again toying with him, denying him the release he so desperately wants.
"I will have you... eventually."
Alastor then takes a big breath, his cock is still hard as steel. "You're a real temptation-" He glares at you, rather hungrily, his nostrils once again flaring.
"Don't try to make me beg."
"But would you now?" Under any other circumstances, you'd never be that bold with him.
Alastor laughs darkly in response to your challenge, causing a cold chill to run down your spine. "You wound me, my dear. I would never beg for anything... especially not when it comes to satisfying this... this unwanted but still unyeilding desire..."
You smile wickedly, your deer ears conveying your feelings as always when they move. In a swift motion, but still cautiously, you push back his foreskin. A low, agonizing moan escapes Alastor's lips as your action exposes his sensitive flesh to the air. Hips jerking forward involuntarily, seeking more contact with your hand...
"You're killing me mon cher~"
"Buckle up Al..." You start stroking him with consistency now.
The radio demon closes his eyes, ragged breaths leaving his open mouth as you're jerking him off. Every fiber of his being is focused on the pleasure. He groans... feeling his elusive climax approaching at last. His monocle almost falls from his nose. "Unh..."
You're now applying some serious pressure on his throbbing dick. With a primal scream, Alastor's entire body tenses up and he begins releasing his seed on your hand.
"Oh goodness..." He keeps groaning and you can see him shuddering as he does so. He continues spurting thick, white fluid onto your hand, seemingly unable to stop himself.
In his eyes there's a mix of lust and gratitude. He licks his lips unconsciously.
"What else can you do to me?"
"W- what? Me?"
The demon chuckles lightly at your question. His eyes trail down your body appreciatively when you stand up. "And why not you? You're here and I need some action these days!"
He grins and you sigh.
"Well, that means it could be anyone... anyone other than me." You don't like how this revelation makes you feel sad and disappointed.
A sly smirk plays at the corners of Alastor's mouth. "I suppose it could, but then again, why settle for anyone when I can have you?"
His voice is husky and you like this tone from him. You and I belong together, dear y/n." He's clearly considering you his mate now.
Your romantic side wins and you cup his face. That seems to sober him up if just for a few minutes. The overlord looks like he's savoring the sensation and a deep sigh escapes him. "I don't deserve this, not with you y/n."
"But I do want to be present through this... I get it."
The glimmer of hope returns to his eyes. "You have to mean it."
"I won't leave you suffering alone Alastor."
He nods as he thinks this over. "In that case... I'll accept your offer."
You smile sweetly. This isn't that bad. He didn't even ask for a deal. You stand on your hooves and give his cheek a little kiss. He beams at you as he takes hold of his signature cane.
"Oh I think I'm going to enjoy this!"
"Haha, so do I... B- but let's make you something to eat before you get all excited again..."
"That's a wonderful idea darling! And I might as well tell you about Susan's new act while you're at it."
Alastor feels a warmth he hadn't in a long time. As you work on preparing food for him, he seems content and somewhat at peace. But then, like clockwork, the desire is going to build up again. Through the week the rutting hits him anew and he becomes extremely short-tempered. He has to change rooms when Charlie starts singing and he's constantly arguing with Husk.
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Alastor surprises himself.
During the times he does manage to control his primitive urges, he's actually avoiding you. He has this idea that he would end up hurting you if things ever escalated fully between you two. Could this mean that he actually cares for your wellbeing?
He is an overlord. He is the one and only radio demon, there's no way he has a soft spot for his fellow deer demon... who had relieved him of weeks of pent up tension just with their touch.
You, on the other hand, feel no shame nor guilt for your little encounter with Alastor in the kitchen. If anything, the fact that he's still in his mating season is making you wet, longing for more.
One fateful night, all of you sitting together, you across from Alastor's armchair... and it's impossible to not look down. He has a prominent bulge and you're not even surprised. However, when you look back up, you freeze like a... well, you do freeze like a deer caught in the headlights, because he is staring at you so very intensely.
The air feels thick all of a sudden and his gaze implies many things, to your delight. He excuses himself shortly after, but not before giving you a slight nod. He wants you now. He needs you now.
Experiencing a slight Deja vu, you find yourself knocking on his door the very same night. The Deja vu intensifies at the sound of static coming from the other side of the door. You decide to let yourself in when there's no answer. "Al?"
A pair of big and intricate antlers comes in your vision. The smell of him floods your senses. It's intoxitacing, addictive. You want him too.
Alastor wastes no time.
He pushes you up against the nearest wall, his body pressing tightly against yours. His breath is coming in ragged gasps, his eyes full of lust and desire. The demon growls, baring his teeth in a feral grin.
In one swift motion, he tears your clothes from your body, leaving you naked and vulnerable before him. His eyes roam over your exposed flesh, his lips parted in a wicked grin. With an animalistic growl, he buries his face between your breasts, sucking on your nipples with rough abandon.
You moan and arch your back, the sensation sinfully satisfying. Noticing your response, Alastor's movements become even more frenzied. He reaches down to grip your hips, lifting you up onto the wall.
You then unzip his pants, lost in the haze of your increasing desire for him. Alasor groans when you do that, his hips bucking forward as you free his cock from its confines. It slaps against your lower stomach, rigid and angry.
With another feral growl, Alastor turns you around so that you're facing the wall, while he has a perfect view of your ass and tail.
You gasp as he parts your folds with his thumb, finding your dripping entrance. Maybe he's not that experienced, but right now he seems to be driven by some infallible instinct. His finger doesn't stay in your cunt for long though, since the man is getting desperate to claim you as his, in a much more effective fashion.
You turn you head to the side and lock eyes with him. You shiver, almost scared at the pure hunger on his face. He thrust into you with brutal force, driving his cock inside you deep and hard. His hips start pistoning against your ass, as he takes you without mercy. He's breeding, essentially. It's not meant to be slow or soft.
The gentleman you knew is gone for now, but you're digging your nails in his shoulders and letting out whines and moans nonetheless.
With each thrust, he growls like a beast, claiming his prize. Alastor's eyes are wild and feral, reflecting the primal lust that consumes him. His heavy balls are slapping against your skin. You're turning to jelly slowly but surely, surrendering to him in way that feels natural to you, not forced.
Your old friend grunts in both pain and pleasure, losing himself in the heat of the moment. His fingers dig into your skin, leaving marks on your hips that show his possessiveness of you.
You reach behind you, grabbing his thighs to somehow ground yourself from the onslaught of pleasure in your core. A guttural moan escapes him as you touch his sensitive flesh. His hips buck against yours, driving himself deeper inside you and your eyes roll back in your head.
Alastor continues to pound into you relentlessly, his cock throbbing with each powerful stroke. He's sweating and he starts taking off his clothes in a uncharacteristically clumsy manner.
He can't take it anymore, your tightening walls becoming overwhelming for him to bear. Feeling the pressure building within him, he growls low in his throat and picks up the pace even more.
The new speed he fucks you in has you seeing stars, the knot on your stomach snapping without warning. You cry out his name loud enough for everyone in the hotel to hear, but you simply don't care.
He moans your name as well, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he drives himself deeper into you one last time. His body shudders violently as he reaches the height of his own orgasm. Hot, thick cum is filling you up and there's so much of... It's dripping out of you and onto the carpet.
He finally did it. He's mated. He's bred you.
Spent and panting heavily, Alastor collapses on you, his forehead resting on your shoulder. You can feel his breath and teeth on your skin as you try to catch your breath. His dick is softening inside you, but he doesn't pull out just yet. His primal instinct is still active and making sure you take every last drop of his seed.
After you both relax in the present silence for a bit, he casually lifts you up and places you on the bed, the manhandling having you blushing profusely, but he doesn't seem to notice. He lets out a sound close to purring as he lays down next to you, spooning you.
You sigh, feeling exhausted and content at the same time. You roll over so that you're facing him... and he looks like he's already asleep.
Your heartbeat has turned back to normal and you find shelter in his long and elegant neck as you start dozing off into a peaceful and dreamless slumber.
He's not cold or ignorant the next morning. That morning ends up in him grasping at the air, as if searching for something to hold on to, as your head bobs up and down under the sheets.
It becomes a fact that Alastor's mood improves significantly after having sex with you. Something that does occur a couple more times in the spam of a week or so.
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You knew the rutting was coming to an end when his desperate and forceful claiming, usually from behind, became passionate love making.
There was this one night...
Like a true gentleman of his time, Alastor had made love to you with deep, sensual thrusts as your hands had gotten lost in his fluffy hair. You had been underneath him.
Your orgasm had been accompanied by a soundless moan as you'd thrown your head back and he'd nuzzled your neck, breath labored and a frown on his face as he'd come after you. You had let him fall asleep on you that night, both of you panting, sweat covering you.
The only time Alastor isn't smiling is when he is asleep you have come to realize. You can't help but notice how tired he looks as you lay motionless next him. So you gently start caressing his ears and he groans softly, nuzzling deeper into your touch, without even bothering to open his eyes. A small smile forms on his mouth, a real one.
Is this love? Maybe someday.
The End??
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wttcsms · 1 year
Text
secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought ; simon “ghost” riley.
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pairing simon “ghost” riley x f!reader word count 2k synopsis as a last resort, ghost finds himself letting soap stay with him in your shared home. soap is understandably confused as to why there’s a pregnant young woman already occupying this supposed safehouse.  content contains completely sfw, fluff, domestic fluff, soft!ghost, ghost is absolutely whipped for you & is not ashamed of it, pregnancy, pregnant!reader, marital bliss, protective!ghost, soap & ghost bromance notes takes place in the same timeline/au as this fic! 
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“We’re fucked if we can’t find shelter anywhere,” MacTavish, ever the optimist, readjusts the rucksack on his back before looking at the other operative with him.
He’s not surprised to find his partner’s expression entirely unreadable due to the mask obscuring the entirety of his face, save for a pair of eerily perceptive eyes.
“We can try to contact Price, see if he knows about any safehouses nearb—“
“Won’t be necessary.” Ghost cuts him off, sounding a bit irritated. “I know a place nearby.”
“How do you seem to always know where every single fuckin’ safehouse is?” Soap finds himself grumbling, but noticing that Ghost is already moving ahead, he shouts out a quick hey! and starts jogging to keep up with the man, afraid to be left behind (but secretly knowing that at this point, Ghost would never, no matter how many times he threatens to do so).
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After trekking uphill for several miles and then proceeding to venture further into a heavily wooded area, secluded by tall trees and located near a large lake stands an almost unassuming cabin. The curtains to the house are open, but despite him moving closer, it turns out the glass had been tinted to the point where Soap’s unable to peek inside. He can only assume that whoever stays inside would be able to observe what’s happening unbeknownst to the people outside.
“You sure this place is safe?” Soap asks, glancing around. Sure, it’s isolated, and he trusts Ghost’s judgment, but fuck. It kind of sucks not being in the know for things as simple as safehouse locations.
“I sure would hope so.” Ghost grumbles, pulling out a key to stick into the front door’s lock. “It’s my house, after all.”
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It’s silly to assume that Ghost doesn’t have a home. As a matter of fact, Soap has (many times) joked about the fact that Ghost probably lives up to his call name and takes refuge in a mausoleum in between missions. Still, Soap finds it a bit interesting to be inside the “Riley Residence” as he called it.
(Ghost just stared at him with those eyes that reflected nothing but exasperation before mumbling that he was going upstairs.)
There’s a large fireplace in the living room, and throw pillows that look soft to the touch resting on the couches. The whole entire cabin smells of something sweet, like cinnamon and sugar. Maybe looks can be deceiving; Soap didn’t take Ghost as the type of guy to burn candles in his cabin.
Then again… Ghost isn’t dumb enough to leave candles burning in his home especially if he knows that he’ll be gone for an extended period of time. How long has it been since Ghost went upstairs? He didn’t hear anything unusual, but Soap’s suddenly on high alert. Could there be someone else present? How safe is this place, really?
With one hand gripping his knife, Soap enters further into the cabin. He’s never seen a safehouse so decorated; the agents must have had too much free time on their hands when assembling this one. They even went through the trouble of adding faux personal touches to the place, like current magazines stacked on counters and fuzzy slippers left in the hallway.
(He glances at the pair of house shoes, thinking they’re Ghost’s but realizing that they’re much too small to belong to the bloody giant.)
As Soap nears what he assumes to be the kitchen, he catches sight of movement happening within his peripheral, and he’s quick to whip around to confront the intruder.
He’s met with the terrified screams of a woman, and before he can truly process what’s happening, he hears the unmistakable, thunderous footsteps of Ghost. His fellow operative’s got a gun in his hand and a worried look in his eyes as he examines the scene in front of him.
“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”
It’s not Soap that he’s asking; instead, Ghost is immediately by your side, tucking away his gun so he can wrap his arm around you.
Your chest is still visibly rising and falling with every breath you take as you try to recover from the shock of witnessing a man with a mohawk waving a knife around in your own home. You stare at Soap, giving him a weak smile as you reassure Ghost.
“Yes, honey, everything’s fine. I was just caught off guard. I didn’t know I should have been expecting a guest.” You’ve seemed to recover quickly, and this time you offer him a real smile as you introduce yourself.
Your last name is Riley.
And while Soap prides himself on being plenty observant, he still can’t quite piece together the insanely easy puzzle in front of him. Ghost refuses to leave your side. You called the scary masked man honey. You’ve got a thin gold band adorning your left hand’s ring finger, and there’s an unmistakable baby bump protruding from the thin fabric of your nightgown.
It’s not that Soap isn’t able to realize what’s in front of him.
It’s the fact that Soap can’t believe that someone like Ghost could ever possibly have something so… normal.
A nice, cozy little home. A cute, pregnant wife. No wonder he had been so reluctant in taking the two of them here to spend the night! He’s been trying to keep you a secret this whole time.
That bloody bastard.
Ghost isn’t nearly as forgiving as you, and he’s still glaring at Soap.
“Fucking hell, Soap. I let you in my house, and the first thing you decide to do is terrify my wife. What the fuck?”
“Simon!” You gasp out, tugging at your husband’s arm. “It’s not his fault. I didn’t hear the two of you come in. He didn’t know about me because you didn’t even tell him I existed!”
“Why would he need to know? Nosy bastard’s already always in my business.” Ghost grumbles, and you slap his arm.
“I am so sorry, Soap.” You apologize on behalf of your husband (who doesn’t look the least bit sorry whatsoever). “Let me get the guest bedroom set up for you—”
“—I already did.” Ghost says, and his gaze seems to soften when his eyes land on yours and then moves downwards to focus on the baby bump. “You don’t need to be straining yourself.”
For the next few days, they lay low in an attempt to tire out their enemies or at least get them off their backs. These few days have been nothing but a series of revelations for Soap.
For example, who would have thought that Ghost has a lovely little wife at home who he absolutely worships? He’s caught the man massaging your feet, forcing you to let him wash the dishes, and Soap doesn’t even want to know the reason why the two of you so long in the shower. (Ghost would probably kill him if he ever did try to find out.)
Every single morning, the two of you cook breakfast together. He kisses you (forehead, cheeks, lips — just depends on what’s the most accessible at the moment) every time he walks by you. You’ll say, honey, can you bring me a glass of water? but he’s already making his way towards you, glass in hand, because he’s so attuned to you.
Every glimpse of Ghost’s secret domestic life feels too intimate for Soap to watch; he almost feels as if he’s intruding on a private moment, even when the two of you are doing something as simple as being near each other.
(Do you know that every time you move just the slightest bit, Ghost mirrors the action, adjusting his body accordingly so that it’s always shielding yours?)
“You look like you’ve been dying for the chance to ask me a couple of questions,” you set down a mug of hot tea in front of Soap before sliding into the seat across from him. Ghost is out back chopping firewood, and while you usually enjoy watching the way his arms flex and his muscular back just absolutely tighten up every time he hacks up the wood, you know that Soap will never get a chance to talk to you in private.
“Was I that obvious?” He grins, feeling more relaxed whenever you laugh. You’re an awfully nice person; too nice to survive in their world, and probably too nice for the city, too. No wonder Ghost keeps you tucked away in this cabin.
“I’d be more surprised if you didn’t have any questions about our relationship.”
“I guess that’s true, huh? So, uh, how’d you two meet?” Soap can’t exactly picture a teenage Ghost with a high school crush.
“He saved my life.” There’s a healthy glow to your skin; it might stem from the pregnancy, but you simply seem to brighten up even more when you talk about your husband. “You know, you were there too!”
“I was?” He takes a closer look at you, but he can’t recognize you in any of his memories. You’re certainly beautiful, and he’s sure that if he really did meet you, he would at least remember you by now.
“Don’t worry, I think Simon will prefer it if you didn’t know me at all, anyway.” Your fingers wrap around your own mug, warming up your cold hands. “Don’t let him fool you, though. He’s such a big softie.”
Soap has watched your “big softie” stab men to death quicker than he can blink his eyes. If it was a rescue mission where the two of you met, he’s almost certain that you must have seen his less-than-sweet side as well.
“You think he’d kill me if I started tellin’ everyone what a big softie he is?”
“He’d let you get away with it. You’re one of his friends, after all.”
“Wait, what?”
“C’mon, Soap. You and I both know Simon pretty well. He’s not above sleeping in the woods. He wouldn’t have brought someone here he didn’t trust. And you might not have known I existed, but we talk about you sometimes.”
“All good things, I hope.”
“It’s Simon.” You say, simply shrugging. “I’m sure he saves the worst for when the two of you are face to face.”
“Has he ever taken the mask off with you?”
You beckon Soap to lean forward just like you, and with your elbows on the table and both of you with your heads low, you whisper conspiratorially, “I take it off for him.”
The two of you are still laughing when Ghost walks in.
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You pack both of them lunches before sending them back on their way, waving farewell from the front door, one hand resting on your stomach. You and Simon already had a private sendoff; away from the prying eyes of your visitor, Simon kneels down to give a gentle kiss to your belly, staring in wonder as he feels the slightest kick in return.
“Be a good boy for mommy,” is what he whispers before returning back to his full height. It’s hard to hug you with all his tactical gear getting in the way, but he’s stubborn.
Walking out the door and leaving you and his child behind is always hard. You tell Soap to come back any time (Simon’s stare told him that that invitation would not be valid under his watch).
Soap promises he will, and Ghost just has to respect that because he’s already been kind enough to turn a blind eye to the obvious longing in Ghost’s eyes as he leaves you.
“So, Lt., tell me. I must be your favorite, eh?”
“Favorite what? Pain in the fucking ass?” Ghost retorts. The two of them have a long walk ahead of them.
“Am I the first on the force to meet your girl?”
Ghost’s silence is confirmation enough.
“I knew it! I am your favorite on the force.”
“Shut up.”
(Ghost doesn’t necessarily dispute the claim, though.)
11K notes · View notes
demonicbaby666 · 19 days
Note
Dom Emily prentiss x intern fem reader is all i ask!! Smutty ofc, a lil bit of a humiliation kink if you’re comfortable!!! Thank yewww
Packing Heat
One shot | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists
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Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader
Genre: Smut
Words: 4.8k+
Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, strap-ons (r!receiving), semi-public sex (office sex, again…), praise, degradation, mommy kink, kind of dub-con at one point, top!Emily, bottom!reader
Summary: Interning at the BAU means you don’t interact with the person in charge a lot. Of course, this doesn’t mean you haven’t seen the section chief in passing or exchanged pleasantries; it's that they’re simple, short-lived and often anti-climatic. However one evening, you find yourself in the desolate office with no chance of going home, work to be done, but no one to sit with you through the process. With only one other soul residing on the sixth floor, it seems Emily may be your best bet for company.
A/n: Listen, could she be more dom? Yes. Is there any humiliation? Not really... But I got lost while writing, so please don't be mad at me... Hope you still enjoy!
When you'd first started at the BAU, it was safe to say you hadn't seen much of the woman calling the shots. There were always updates about when the team were taken out of state, what their cases would entail, the steady progress being made, and the brief comical encounters Garcia spewed around the office. When they were back, everyone made an effort to small talk. They welcomed you well and continued to appreciate the little things you did for them daily. Emily, however, was constantly on the go, meaning every encounter you'd had with her consisted of one-way glances and hopeful smiles in the event she decided to notice her surroundings and the human lifeform less than two metres away. 
She never did, though, until one uneventful evening. 
Almost everyone had vacated the building. The only remaining souls left on the sixth floor were you, Emily, and a one-person cleaning crew—whom you watched exit through glass doors before approaching the brunette's office with shaky knees. Peeking through the window, you saw her attention dart to and from the bright computer screen to the mountains of bureaucratic paperwork lying atop her desk. It was easy to get lost in the little creases between her eyebrows, brought out by the deep scowl she wore, the delicate way her fingers were woven together, and the pads of her thumbs skirting against one another as she pondered in deep thought. 
It was nearing eight, and you were struggling to understand how someone could appear so put together at this late hour, given that their day was most certainly jam-packed with non-stop slog. 
Emily's eyes suddenly flashed up. She squinted toward her door, trying to figure out who'd be here this late other than herself. When she appeared to have worked it out, she leaned back victoriously in her chair, a smug smile on her face, when she called out, "Are you going to stand out there all night?" 
You could have done two things: scurried off like a teenager caught peeping or held your chin up high and walked into the older woman's office with little to no shame. Somehow, you managed to do a mix of both, scurrying in with sagging shoulders, a guilty smile plastered on your face and trembling hands clasping your laptop over your chest.
"Well, it's eerily quiet out there, and I would go home to write this paper. It's just that my roommate and her boyfriend have an awful tendency to forget about volume control when they're—" You cut yourself off, realising it probably wasn't appropriate to talk to your boss about your roommate's over-the-top borderline pornographic soundscape. "I was wondering if I could, you know."
Emily, satirising as ever, waited with a raised eyebrow and a relaxed smile for you to continue your purposefully unfinished question. 
"Sorry, I should let you work." You surrendered to your weak resolve with flushed cheeks and began to turn around.
"Sit," she ordered before you had fully turned back around to the door, nodding to the available chair on the other side of her desk. Her eyes followed your journey to the seat, watching as you placed your laptop down and opened it with shaky fingers. Satisfied, she turned her attention back to her work. "I could do with some company." 
The following silence, starting as unsettling and stagnant, blossomed into something warm and comfortable. There were occasional glances thrown your way and vice versa. Their acknowledgement and appreciation were shown in the form of timid smiles on your end and double takes followed by teasing smirks on Emily's. 
When half an hour had passed, your shoulders had finally relaxed, your fingers had stopped their infernal twitching, and your paper neared its completion. There was a proud smile cresting, and you were trying to prevent it from forming, knowing how dorkish it made you look. But you knew there was no hope when your cheeks ached and your jaw locked. You granted yourself the freedom to display your gloating smile. 
Just as expected, Emily had a questioning look on her face when you dared to look up from the document. There was a playfulness to the upward quirk of her lips - the superiority of a predator knowing the power they have over their prey, ready to prove it at any given moment. 
"I've almost finished," you timidly admitted, feeling obligated to explain as heat infiltrated your jutted-out cheeks. 
Without a second thought, the ravenette stood up and made her way around the desk. She could have easily chosen to turn the laptop around. Instead, she took the far more intimate route. 
Soft curves grazed your shoulder blades, causing you to shiver. The weight finally settled, soft padding pressed flat against your back as Emily read your paper, and suddenly, your stomach had worked itself into looping knots, and your heart was racing. 
The struggle continued as you fought not to fidget, if only to alleviate the growing tension mounting between your thighs. This was only made worse when Emily's right hand left the back of your chair to drop down over your shoulder and land comfortably on your thigh. 
"Such a smart girl," she whispered sultrily into the shell of your ear, squeezing generous flesh between her fingers. 
With a scrambled brain, there was little fight to be put up against the meek whimper that crackled against the constricted lining of your throat. Subconsciously, your thighs tensed, and your pussy fluttered as you were reminded how close Emily's hand was to where you could only dream she'd touch. 
You'd thought you imagined it—the subtle shift in the room from breezy and light to torrid and all-consuming, but with Emily's fingers veering off course, inching higher and higher, reality came crashing down. 
"Thank you," you struggled to get the words out, and when they did come out, they were tremulous and feeble. 
Turning to look at her may have, in hindsight, been a mistake because where her gaze should have been fixed on the laptop screen, it was glued to your lips. Unexpectedly, your stomach flipped, and you felt dizzy. She was still superbly perfect up close, skin smooth like silk, cheekbones sharp as a razor, and lips cut from velvet. It was too close, dangerously so, you had to look away. Outside the window, you spotted a swarm of birds barely visible against the night sky. You ignored the clanking of your heart as you focussed on their synchronicity, watching them circle each other until they became one big blur of messy movements. 
The hand resting on the leather backing of your chair rose, skirting up and over your neck, until a firm grip was established around your dangling ponytail. She was gentle when she tugged, aware that though she wanted to educate you in the art of being owned, you were delicate.
"I think a pretty thing like you deserves a reward," she baited. "Don't you?" 
Her grip on you may have been physical. However, a stronger pull was coming from deep within you, an unimportant piece of scrap metal drawn in by a powerful magnet. It was useless to deny her. The mesmerising glow of her chocolate eyes and the promise of being made to feel special was too powerful. So, you nodded slowly but eagerly, desire painting your eyes dark shades of lust. 
"That's a good girl." 
Emily didn't miss how you preened at the praise and safely stored that information away for further use. She shifted to your side, hands migrating to the small of your waist, guiding you to your feet. The act of it was far gentler than you'd expected, like a gentleman asking a maiden to dance, sweeping her off her feet to whisk her away into a fairytale land filled with magic and romance. 
Certain the benign treatment would be short-lived, you granted yourself the leniency to enjoy it whilst it lasted, refusing to get too caught up in the dull ache between your legs that craved the form of savagery Emily displayed in the field. 
There was nothing short of passion in how she worked. It drove you crazy. As wrong as it felt, you couldn't help but envy the dirtbag the team was working to catch because you saw how badly the brunette wanted them. The look in her eyes, gratification and disgust all at once, when she'd achieved what she set out to do and was staring the devil right in the face - it made your heart race, your palms sweat and your cunt throb. 
The memory kickstarted what could only be described as a brutal attack upon the older woman's lips. To her credit, Emily indulged the outburst for a lot longer than you'd have thought. As if she'd expected it, she quickly responded, pulling you into her body and tilting her head to the side to deepen the kiss. The lead was stolen promptly from your grasp when Emily wedged a leg between your thighs, backed you up against her desk and tactically slid her tongue into your gaped mouth. You would have gasped if not for the fact you were immediately indulged in the minty taste of your boss's tongue skirting over the roof of your mouth. So much so that you scarcely noticed the pressure coming from your core was no longer just a phantom need manifested but taut clothed muscle pressing you further and further into the sharp wooden edge of the desk. 
"Emily," you breathily moaned, pulling back and separating your kiss-swollen lips from the brunette's. Ordinarily, you wouldn't have allowed what happened next to occur, but this was Emily, after all, the BAU section chief, and if you were to let anyone order you about, it would be her. 
She backed away from you with a final nip to your bottom lip, letting it go with a pop, and you fought the urge to reach out and pull her back to you. You knew you'd already tried to take things into your own hands once, and doing so again may undermine any chances you had of keeping the ball rolling on tonight's affairs. 
You could feel the tight pull of your ponytail and all the places where hair had been lead array from the confines of your hairband, and it truly dawned on you how out of sorts you must have appeared. Tracing your fingers over your lips, you could make out how swollen they were - puffy and hot, yet desperate and pouted, begging for more. Your breathing was laboured, filling the room's silence, and your shirt suddenly felt too tight as your chest expanded with each intake of oxygen. It almost came as a relief when Emily opened her mouth to finally speak until you heard what she'd said.
"Take your clothes off," she mindlessly ordered, walking around to her chair and sitting back in it. Her eager eyes trained over your body with the faintest shimmer of mirth. 
Initially, it was a shock. Of course, it was. You were in an official government building, personnel still sparsely spread throughout, and a goddess of a woman was asking you to bare yourself to her. 
For the longest time, revealing your body to someone always felt like giving up something. Perhaps some kind of purity. The moment you gave it up, it bred only guilt and shame that twisted and pulled at the pit of your stomach until you felt sick. You stood there, waiting for that feeling to come. It never did. 
Remaining still, your body pulsed not with nerves but with exhilaration and anticipation. It took a few seconds to realise this was precisely what you wanted. You wanted to give this false sense of purity away. There was not a sudden influx of courage soaring through every living cell of your body. However, there was enough for you to put on a front and do as you were told. 
"Slowly." Emily sat further back and placed her elbows neatly over the arms of her chair. She laced her fingers together, offered you an encouraging nod, and then was back to watching you raptly.
Feeling like a glutton, you followed a path of desire and heeded Emily's request, fingers increasingly fumbling over each button of your shirt. 
"So obedient." And in no way was it said negatively; the adulatory smile she gave you only sought to prove that further. 
The way she looked at you made you feel as though you were already naked. Maybe that was why it was so easy to get lost in the subtlety of undressing. It was art, and you were a performer. That's what you told yourself. And for the most part, it worked. 
With closed eyes, you trailed your fingers over your shoulders, letting your shirt drop to the floor. The AC raised goosebumps over your chest, pebbled your nipples under your plain bra, and you smiled. You smiled because this was the most alive you had felt in months. The thrill of moving on to your slacks and deftly unclasping your belt felt like being on a rollercoaster, like missing a step and laughing fear in the face afterwards. You felt utterly fearless. 
In the back of your mind, you could sense Emily's eyes still on you. You could hear her moving around but didn't think to check her reaction. You were in your element, and far be it for a look of appraisal, or lack of, to stop you. That was until your trousers hit the carpet with a soft thud, and a sharp breath was heard from across you. 
Your eyes snapped open, and you found Emily's smile was absent. The brunette now had her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she looked you up and down, knuckles white from her deadly grip over the armrests. 
She lifted a hand, palm facing the ceiling as her index and middle finger crooked. "Come here so I can get a proper look at you," she said, slightly breathless. 
The desk had conveniently covered the lower half of Emily's body, which meant that when you circled around and came to stand next to her, you could see exactly what the earlier ruffling had been about. 
"Is that?" You froze, both shocked and utterly intrigued by the thick black dildo jutting out from the older woman's opened slacks. 
She didn't need you to finish the question, already nodding as she followed your line of sight. Leaning forward with an outstretched arm, Emily coiled her fingers around your wrist and pulled you forward, causing you to almost stumble over your own feet. At this closer distance, you could tell the faux cock would give you a run for your money. It was thicker than anything you had taken before, though that was not a hard trophy to earn, given that the most you had let anyone put inside you was three fingers. 
"Do you want to come sit on mommy's lap?" Emily asked with a tilt of her head. 
She didn't miss how your breath caught in your throat, how you seemed to stop blinking, stop moving, stop existing.
"Are you scared?" the lioness asked, sights set on her prized fawn. 
You shook your head and placed one foot in front of the other, eyes downcast as you took in the size of Emily's additional appendage. The shake of your jaw gave you away. 
"I don't like being lied to," she snapped, eyes dimming to an even darker shade of brown. 
She pulled you in by your waist and sat you on her lap, cock brushing over the thin material of your underwear. Instinctively, you wedged your bottom lip between your teeth to quiet yourself. But Emily wasn't having any of it. Her thumb came to your captive lip, where she helped release it with a soft flick. 
The smooth texture of Emily's cock through your sodden panties was a needed relief. Its head purposefully pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves evoked a flurry of shivers to run down your spine. And with nothing holding you back, you moaned in gratitude. 
"Feels good, doesn't it?" Emily smirked, watching you rut against her. 
"Yes," you uttered, breath caught in your throat. 
Happy to watch, Emily relaxed her shoulders and leaned back, enjoying the show you were putting on for her. Only when she recognised the tell-tell signs of frustration wash over your features, from your creased brow to the bite of your lip between your teeth, did a sick smirk lick the edges of her lips. With a mischievous glint shining in her eyes, the older woman shifted her position, pointedly ignoring the sound it pulled from you. 
"Something wrong?" she asked with a hitch of one eyebrow, adamant to appear oblivious. 
You gave no reply, only held tight to her shoulders in defiance and continually ground down on her, trying so hard to pleasure yourself to no avail that your eyes began to sting with the emergence of tears. 
With sweat threatening to spill down the side of your face, the tension between your legs starting to ache, and your release nowhere near in sight, you threw your head back with a sigh and whispered a quiet 'please' to the ceiling.
"Please what?" Came the dull reply, tone bored, unamused, unimpressed.  
You tried to impale yourself, failing as strong hands held you down. It was driving you crazy—pleasure being so close yet so far. 
With one hand removed from your hip, Emily gripped your jaw and turned your attention solely to her stern gaze, "Are you going to stop being a brat and tell me what you want?" 
When no answer came, she let go, jerking your head back as if disgusted with the lack of compliance. 
"Get up." 
Ice, you were made of ice. Sat still, shocked, speechless and slightly mortified. 
"Do I need to repeat myself?" Emily's voice was no longer flat; it was not roaring either. Instead, it was layered, resembling the same barbed tone a teacher might use with a disobedient student. It was enough of a motivator to get you to rise to your feet. 
Following you closely, the older woman, too, rose to her full height, hands meticulously reaching behind your back to expertly relieve you of your bra. Never once did she look you in the eye. 
With the same callous approach, you were turned and pressed against the desk, papers sticking to your heated chest. Emily was quick to loop her fingers through the hem of your underwear and slip them down your thighs, allowing gravity to do the rest. 
The full-bodied presence behind you lessened, and you took it as the opportune moment to glance back. 
The brunette had let her trousers drop to the floor, allowing you to see how her porcelain skin was directly contrasted by the black leather of her strap-on. Unlike yourself, she did not appear nervous or afraid. As she kicked the tailored pants aside and met your gaze, you realised how in control she was. 
Her gaze moved down your body, hands running down your back, until finally, she pressed herself against you and lowered her body atop yours. 
"I can feel how wet you are," she teased, running two fingers through the mess between your legs. "Are you always this wet?" 
"Emily, please," you begged. 
"I asked before, please what?" She raked five fingers down your side, moving them back up till they wound tightly in your hair and gripped your neck to an uncomfortable arch. Two fingers pushed inside you but did no more than that, remaining still as stone. "If you're going to be a baby and refuse to tell me what you want, you'll get nothing." 
"Fuck me!" You no longer had the sound of mind to acknowledge shouting something vulgar could attract attention. Logic had evaded you, allowing you to play right into your boss's hands. "Please just fuck me."
Sliding her slick fingers out of you, she proudly stated, "That wasn't hard, was it?"
If the older woman wanted an answer, she did not allow for one. In one fluid motion, she rose from over you and snapped her hips forward, sheathing the entire length of her cock into your cunt. Your breath caught in your throat, resulting in a strained groan tumbling out of your open mouth. The pit of your stomach dropped, and try as you might have not to clench around the toy inside you, you did precisely that. 
It was new, the foreign feeling of being filled so fully that one slight move would summon pleasure that sent shivers through your whole body. It wasn't unwelcome, especially when Emily started to move, and heat engulfed your entire body. Her pace was languid, allowing you to feel each slide of her cock along your slick walls, how each push of her hips ended in the tip hitting the spot within you to cause the furling in your stomach to expand tenfold. It was all you could do not to scream when the push and pull and Emily's hips moved with more purpose, jerking your body into the edge of her desk. 
"I've barely started, and you're already dripping down your thighs." Her voice was laced with mirth, finger smearing your mess as if to prove an unnecessary point that had your cheeks burning up. "How long have you been thinking about this?" Emily finished her question with an arduous thrust. "How many times have you sunk your fingers into your pussy and thought of me?" 
The questions continued, each hitting the nail right on the head. Your cheeks were scorched with the embarrassment that comes with having your desires known and exposed, but it did not take hold of your conscience as the event of falling in front of a large crowd might have. It was comparable to how a blushing maiden may feel when caught by a suitor in only their undergarments. It excited that small part of you that gave in to demoralisation and encouraged you enough to meet Emily halfway as she thrust into you. 
As your pleasure mounted, the need for more grew. Your clit, swollen and needy, begged for relief, and you beckoned to its call, sliding one hand from above your head to the juncture between your legs. It was when the tips of your fingers brushed against your sensitive pearl and you gained the briefest taste of the euphoria that Emily removed her hand from your thigh and snatched your hand away, halting all movement. 
You could have cried, having everything, then nothing, so quickly. 
"Did I say you could do that?" 
Abruptly pulling out, Emily stood tall and proud, staring down at you with curiosity and disappointment lining the brown of her eyes. She heard you whimper and acknowledged your sniffle. 
"There's no need to cry," she tutted, flipping you onto your back and lifting you by your shoulders. "You're going to listen to me from now on." 
You nodded, and she once again lined her cock to your opening, only now she waited, taunting you with possibilities. 
"Beg," she instructed. 
And you heeded. 
"Please. I need you." 
"You can do better." She sounded bored, and this struck a nerve within you, one that begged you to impress her, show her you could be a good little girl, and beg as though your life depended on it. 
You took a heaving breath and looked into Emily's eyes, sporting your best puppy eyes. "I need you. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me with your big cock, mommy. Make me scream out your name. I need it." 
"There's a good pet," she cooed, mesmerising you with the bating of her lashes as she looked down to where your bodies were so close to touching. 
It all happened in a blur. The next thing you knew, your nails were digging into muscled shoulders, legs wrapping around a slim waist as the brunette filled you, wasting no time in picking up a brutal tempo. You barely recognised the sound of your voice as high-pitched obscenities spilt past your lips. You felt your whole body light up, heard blood pulse in your ears, and saw in real-time just how easy it was to aid Emily in calling upon your impending orgasm. 
Your vulgar mouth, luckily, seemed to amuse Emily enough for her to let you continue rutting your hips against her. The corners of her lips curled, and her smirk lasted only so long for you to see before she inched forward and kissed you with passion and hunger. It was easy, so easy, to melt into the brief moment of intimacy. The butterflies felt tangible, and the sparks crackled in your ears; it felt so fucking good you'd almost forgotten just where you were. Of course, bubbles eventually popped, and this one was demolished by rustling outside Emily's office. 
What little movement Emily allowed, her hands holding you firmly against the desk by your waist, was not enough to wriggle free and glance behind to see what was happening. Instead, the possibility of being caught weighed heavier with each drawled-out second. 
"Emily," You tried but were cut off by a tongue sliding into your mouth. "Emily, stop."
With a bite to your lip, the older woman backed off, confusion marking her features, "What is it?" she punctuated her question with a hard thrust. 
"Someone's o-" another hard thrust. "Someone's outside."
Emily smiled, picking up her pace, forcing you to breathe so deep you felt your lungs expand. 
"You'd better be quiet then." 
Whatever protest you were about to give died in your throat when nails skirted up to your chest and dug painfully into your breast, and Emily pushed herself so deep within you that you felt her hitting your cervix. A strangled cry was briefly heard before you managed to clasp your hand over your lips and silence your own mewls. She was fucking you as if her life depended on getting a reaction out of you that would draw attention. Nevertheless, you held firm and stayed as quiet as your muffled sobs would allow you to be. 
"Emily, please," you were pleading for release and for the brutal fucking stop because you knew there would be no chance you could keep a lid on your volume; there would also be no chance you would survive not cumming. 
Taking note of this, the older woman took the route of giving you your release, dragging a thumb down over your clit and applying the right amount of pressure to have your tense legs turn into a shaky mess of tremors. She didn't stop there; with a brief slide, she ran your slick over your bundle of nerves and started to circle steadily. 
"Fuck!" You screamed out, missing the way the ruffling outside suddenly stopped. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming." 
"That's it," the brunette encouraged, her fingers coming up to crook and tangle through the mussed mess of your hair, nails slowly working against your scalp. "Let everyone hear what a slut you are, letting me fuck you over my desk." 
She didn't stop, though, not when your clit felt raw and your pussy tender, not when you begged and not even when you reached out and tried to grab her wrist. Emily only yanked you down by your hair, relishing the thud the brutal move made. She fucked you harder till stationary fell to the floor from your thrashing arms, and by then, her lips were already wrapped around a nipple, sucking firm whilst you cried through a second orgasm. 
When you finally felt empty, you didn't even try to open your eyes. You knew your vision would be blurred if not blacked out. Instead, you focussed on coming back down to earth, steading your breath and not thinking about how you strangely missed being filled by Emily despite being so fucking sore. 
"Are you still alive?" a smug voice asked from above, and you pried your bleary eyes open to weakly smile. 
"I think so," you whispered, peeling your sweat-slick back from the desk. That was when you remembered the unknown personnel outside and shot a look at the door. 
"They're gone," Emily said, cupping your chin and turning you back to her. Again, you were greeted by that conniving smirk. "After your commentary, I think they understood we didn't want to be disturbed." 
"But-" 
"Uh-uh." she silenced you with a finger to your lips, the smell of yourself still narrowly fragrant. You took the digit into your mouth, patting yourself on the back as you watched Emily's eyes turn dark. "You want to make Mommy feel good now, don't you?" She knew the answer, but oh, how she loved to watch you sink to your knees and eagerly nod anyway. You helped unclasp the straps of her harness, then set to pealing the last barrier keeping you from her heat down her legs. 
"My good little pet," she said, smiling down at you and happily watching you beam. Her hand cupped your jaw before moving to the back of your neck, where she pulled you to her core and began singing a melody of moans. 
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familyvideostevie · 5 months
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watching you with wonder
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joel miller x reader joel claims to have heard something interesting. too bad he keeps insisting he needs more information before he can tell you | 5.4k a/n: same universe as come care about me but not necessary to read that one first! joel is soft, this is my version of him where he and ellie heal and he gets to have a life etc etc etc | domesticity, post-part i jackson au, joel is a flirt and a gossip but good thing you are too, a fair amount of kissing, fluff, softness, peace and all that good stuff. part 3 here! series masterlist here.
It's been a long day. The supply run you'd been dreading went off without a hitch but you were out of the gate at sun-up and in the saddle for most of the morning and afternoon. Your legs are sore, your back is sore,  and you're dirty from a day outside the walls.
You haven't seen Joel since this morning. Not unusual, not by any means. Most days you're both doing something in town, occasionally one of you out on patrol. You're partial to the plant work and Joel likes to chop wood or check out houses that need upgrades with Tommy. But after a day like today you want nothing more than to go home and complain about how much you miss cars while Joel works the knots out of your shoulders. 
But tonight is Festival Night. Nothing big, just a dance at the barn that serves as the community center with music and drinks and food. And Joel, despite his insistence that he's Jackson's resident grump, will be there, because Tommy will have asked him to go and he doesn't like disappointing his brother. And, though he'll never admit it even to you, he enjoys community events. He gets to see the people he loves having a nice time and feeling safe. 
So you head from the stables to the main hall, not bothering to stop at home. Jackson seems to be lit up extra special, the air a little lighter due to the laughter and music brightening the night. The noise becomes almost overwhelming when you open the door and slide inside, dropping your pack against the wall. It's much warmer in here and you unbutton your coat as you make your way through the crowd, waving to people as you go. 
Joel is here somewhere but you don't try too hard to spot him. You know he'll find you. Someone calls your name and you pivot on your heel to find Ellie waving at you from a...poker table?
"Wanna join?" she asks once you walk over. Next to her is Tommy, who looks significantly less excited than she does. "I'm teaching Tommy how to play poker. Oh, sorry, I'm fucking smoking Tommy at poker."
"I know how to play, you little shit," Tommy growls. "Who taught you? This isn't poker, this is a fuckin' massacre." 
Ellie cackles and tips her chair back so she's balancing on the back legs.
"I'll pass this round," you tell her. "Looks like you've got him handled."
"You just want to find Joel." She looks at you in that uncanny way of hers like she knows all of your secrets. But this is one you have no problem admitting.
You smile at her. "Seen him?"
"Now that you're here I'm sure he'll slink out of whatever corner he stuck himself in," Tommy grumbles. "Girl, you sure you ain't countin' cards?"
You leave them to it and wander over to the bar. Astrid pours you a glass of something amber. You take a sip and let the burn warm your throat, your stomach. The music behind you picks up and there's laughter and you turn to see people pairing up and flocking to the floor. 
You close your eyes to enjoy the sounds that mean peace, safety, home. It never gets old and you never quite get used to it. You inhale deep and -- ah, yes. There it is. A smile spreads across your face as you breathe in wood glue, gunpowder, the soap you make at home. Your heart beats a little faster, even after all this time.
"Hi," you say, opening your eyes. Joel stands in front of you, one hand in his pocket and the other holding a glass similar to your own. His hair curls at his collar, edges still a little wet from the shower he must have taken before coming here. His shirt is rolled to his elbows, his jacket clearly discarded somewhere. Your gaze trails up his chorded forearms, his watch securely in place as always. This is what you've called his "nice" shirt, a deep green that makes the grey of his beard all the more striking and brings out his eyes. 
Eyes that settle on you in a way that sends heat up your spine.
"Howdy," he says. "You just get here?"
"Like you weren't watching the door for me," you tease. He shrugs and reaches for you, his free hand curling around your hip to tug you close for just a few moments. Joel presses his lips to your cheek lightly, his beard scratching your skin as he pulls away and settles at your side, arm resting on the bar behind you. 
"Well, I ain't seen you all day," he reminds you. As if you could forget. Every second you're not looking at him you sort of wish you were. There aren't many good things left in your life -- all of them are in this town, now -- and you tend to hold on to the ones you still have with both hands. Joel, despite the fact that he'd argue with you over it, is your good thing. Your best thing.  
"Miss me?" 
"Dumb question," he mutters. 
His fingers brush against the back of your bicep, warm through your jacket. "How was the run?"
"Easy. Long." You take a sip of your drink. It's still warming but doesn't measure up to the solid warmth of the man beside you. "I came straight here."
"That would explain why you smell like shit," he drawls. You smack his chest. He doesn't so much as flinch.
"Rude."
Joel watches the crowd and you watch him. That's how it usually goes with you two. You figure he's watching for threats, for any sign of something going wrong. It's a habit most folks here find hard to break. He's watching Ellie, who has left the poker table behind, twirl some of the children around with Dina, he's watching Tommy try to teach a few drunk guys how to square dance like he does every Festival. Joel curls his hand around your shoulder and you lean back into the touch. 
On a night like tonight when joy is more contagious than the fungus spreading through the rotting world, Joel loosens up a little. It's a good look on him and it only ever means good things for you -- he laughs more, he touches you more. But most importantly you know he lets life in. He lets that knot you know is in his chest, the one made of fear and loss and survival and all of the horrible fucked up things he's seen and done, he lets it loosen even just a bit. He lets himself feel the good things, too. How much the people in this town respect him, care about him. How much they appreciate him. How much they love him, how much you love him.
You look at him in the soft light of the barn. There's a tug to his mouth that you know.
He looks smug. It's a nice look on him, a relaxed one. He looks too handsome for his own good. And though you love him, love how he's enjoying the night, like hell you're going to let him stand there and get away with whatever he's cooking up.
"Joel Miller, why are you looking so pleased with yourself?"
"No reason," he says. He takes another sip of his drink, side-eyeing you over the rim. This man. 
You tap the heel of your boot against his. "Don't make me beg."
His eyes flash but he turns into your space, the solid shape of him curling around you as well as his arm. In another world, in another life, he could be a handsome man picking you up at a bar. 
"I heard somethin'," he says, voice low. "Somethin'...interestin'."
"Really?" You look around the barn as if the object of his gossip will materialize in front of you. "Tell me."
He leans back and you have to stop yourself from following. "Don't think so."
"Joel."
This man can be such a shit when he wants to be. 
He holds the hand carrying his glass up in surrender, the brown liquor sloshing close to the rim. "Hey now, don't go shootin' the messenger."
"I can't because he won't tell me the message."
"S'not anything worth tellin' just yet," he drawls. "I need a little more intel. Y'know, make it worth your while."
You sigh, hamming it up a bit by thunking your forehead to his collar. Joel huffs a laugh and fully drapes his arm across your shoulders, warm and solid. 
It's all fun but you know there's a note of truth to it. Joel can lie better than most people but he doesn't lie to you. "Fine. You get away with it for now."
The song changes to something old and slow, something you recognize but don't quite remember the name of.
"Only if you dance with me," you say. You swallow the last of your drink and push off the bar, sliding out from under his arm. You hold your hand out to him and wiggling your fingers. "It's only fair."
He sighs like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. And he is, sometimes. But right now his cheeks are a little flushed from the drink and your flirting and you want to see how far you can take it.
"Unless I smell too much like shit," you goad. You don't actually think he'll go for it. Joel doesn't dance. It feels like the kind of good time, the kind of joy that is forever stuck in the past, left behind twenty odd years ago. Honestly, you think he'll just drag you home and have his way with you in your warm bed. 
But he manages to surprise you.
Joel throws back his drink and grabs your hand. His thumb strokes your skin.
"S'pose it is," he says. "You don't smell that bad."
A delighted laugh spills from you. He leads you to the already-crowded dance floor, pulling you close with a hand on your back. You rest your arm on his broad shoulder and hook your thumb in his collar. 
"Not so bad, is it?" you say. Your faces are so close you're practically cheek to cheek. You feel his breath on the shell of your ear, his beard a little prickly against your cheek. 
"Could be worse." You and Joel gently sway and you toy with the ends of his hair. Over his shoulder you can see Dina and Ellie dancing, arms wrapped around each other tight. You close your eyes and match your breaths to Joel's. 
"We should do this more often," you say. "Bet they'd let you play guitar at the next festival if you wanted."
Joel hums. 
"Don't forget you have to deliver the firewood to the school tomorrow." He presses his hand to your back and pulls you even closer. "Are you listening to me?"
"Mhm."
"Joel --" Your eyes fly open and you try to pull away to goad him but he holds you steadily against him.
"Hush," he says, fingers squeezing yours. "I'm enjoyin' the moment."
You allow it.
___
The gossip Joel mentioned is in the back of your mind but you know he'll tell you when he's satisfied with his information gathering or whatever the fuck he's up to. Sure, it's silly, maybe even pointless but you like to think of it as a display of the trust you have in each other. You trust Joel with your life and you've put that into practice, watched him bloody his knuckles for the ones he loves. You also trust him with your heart, your body, your mind. There's no part of you that his hands haven't touched, haven't loved in the jagged, intense way of his. 
Plus you enjoy seeing him pleased with himself, which you know he will be once he has the whole story to tell you. It's not a mood you see on him often.
You finally have a free night and Ellie asks you to come over to try out a new video game Jesse found for her on patrol. Joel waves you off when you offer to stay in with him instead.
"Means I'll get some peace and quiet to finish my book," he grumbles, handing you your coat even though you're walking across the yard. He's already peeled off his boots and looks half-awake in the dim light of your entryway, glasses tucked into the collar of his sweater.
"More like you're going to sit in bed and fall asleep reading without me talking to keep you awake."
He sends you off with an eye roll and a soft kiss which you turn into two more, just because. Maybe a few years ago he'd sit in the chair downstairs and wait for you to come home. He does like to play his guitar on the porch when it's not too cold, keep an eye on things. But you'll be with Ellie just out back and it's been a long week. It's no small point of pride that, with the help of your reassurance and persistent care and his own conviction, Joel allows himself to relax a little. "Have fun."
You do. Ellie and Joel have a history that is complex and tender, so much so that sometimes it's too much for both of them. After it seemed like she was open to it, you've tried to make sure you and her have a relationship all your own. She's smart and funny and fiercely loyal to the people she cares about. You feel lucky to be one of them.
But she still annihilates your ass when it comes to video games. 
"You know," she says, cracking her knuckles after yet another defeat. "It's embarrassing as shit how you literally lived in a time where you could play these like, whenever you wanted. And yet it's me, who was born after the world ended, who keeps winning."
You make sure to look unamused. "Whatever." You stand, stretching out your spine with your arms above your head and yawn. "It's teenage luck." You have no idea how this girl stays up so late all the time. 
"I guess I'm just good at everything."
"Oh, you sure about that?" She hands you your coat and tugs on the strings of her sweatshirt. "I've seen you in a kitchen. You might want to rethink that one."
"Psh," she says, waving you off. "Who needs to cook, anyway?"
You slide into your boots and shake your head. "I'm actually shocked Dina puts up with you." 
"Hey, fuck you!" she cries, though she's hiding a smile. "No insulting me in my own home. It's Joel's fault, anyway. He can't cook either."
You snort. "Don't I know it." She grins at you fully, the one you call her shark-tooth smile, and you grin back. "Thanks for this, kiddo. I had fun." 
"Yeah, maybe one day you'll win." You tug her in for a quick hug which she allows before squirming away. "Alright, alright. Go make sure he didn't burn down the house without you, or something."
It's late, late enough that you feel yourself getting more tired with each step back to the porch. Joel left the back door unlocked for you. You latch the deadbolt behind you and peel off your outer layers in the dark. A quick glance in the kitchen tells you Joel put your stuff from dinner away and is probably in bed. He's left out your mugs, ready for the morning, and the list he's been making of things you need to do around the house before it snows. You love to see the pieces of your life on display like this -- signs that this is a home.
You don't bother being quiet when you climb up the stairs because you know he'll be pissed if you don't wake him to let him know you're home. The bedroom light is on but when you actually go in you see he's in bed with his book in his lap, glasses sliding down his nose. His eyes are closed and his bare chest rises slowly.
He's probably only half-asleep, probably heard you come in and decided it was safe enough to shut his eyes until you say something. So you get ready for bed quickly, tugging on soft clothes and brushing your teeth before creeping over to his side of the bed and perching on the edge of it, resting your hand on his thigh under the covers.
"Joel," you say softly. "Joel, are you asleep?"
"Yes," he grumbles. His eyes flutter open, the piercing grey a little clouded with tiredness. He reaches for his glasses and pulls them from his face a bit clumsily. "You okay? You n'Ellie have fun?"
"We did. She's so good at video games it's a little scary." You pluck the frames from his hand and fold them, setting them on his bedside table with his book. He grunts and pushes himself up a little more in bed, his leg pressing against your tailbone through the blankets. It's a real show of your restraint that you don't run your hands over the golden and hairy expanse of his chest, the broad line of his shoulders. Instead you reach for his face and he lets you, eyes crinkling at the corners as he tries and fails to hide his amusement as you trail your fingers through his hair. Just being here with him makes you a little sleepy, your body catching up with your mind at how you always feel safest when he's in the room with you. "S'cold, though. I think we might need to put some more insulation in the shed for her."
"Alright," he says. Joel wraps his fingers around your wrist and pulls your palm to his cheek but quickly flinches away. "Christ," he mutters. "Your hands are cold." He encases both of your hands in his and rubs slowly, throughly. 
"Let me get in bed, then." You make no effort to move. 
Joel blows on your fingers and, in a move that's tender even for him, presses his lips to their tips. "I ain't holdin' you here."
"Sarcasm," you say. "And Ellie claims you're not funny." Joel scoffs and you laugh, rising from his side of the bed and making your way around to yours. Joel flicks back the covers and you slide in, facing him. 
"Light off?" he asks. You nod. He shuffles around to flip the switch and then settles into his side with a groan. It's dark but you know his face with your eyes closed, let alone in the moonlight of your bedroom. The gash on the bridge of his nose, the scruff of his greying beard, the nicks along his cheeks and temples. The age spots, the wrinkles, the lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth, these days more from smiles and laughter than stress and worry. Or so you like to think. 
"Got any gossip for me yet?" 
Joel huffs. "Not quite."
"Jooooooel," you whine, scooting closer. You hook a leg over his and slide your hand over his stomach, fingers catching on the hair above the waistband of his sleep pants. He makes a noise deep in his throat but otherwise allows it. 
"I ain't givin' you half-assed information," he says. "It'll be worth the wait."
With Joel, it always is. You consider dragging it out a little more but you're cold and tired and he's so warm and you barely saw him at all today. "Alright," you say. You pull yourself even closer under the covers, dragging your nose over the hollow of his throat, his beard a delicious scratch on your skin. Your hand curls around his hip and he reaches for you on instinct, warm, callused palms sliding under your sleep shirt to press into your bare skin.
He huffs a tired laugh, chest rumbling with amusement. "What're you up to?"
"You're warm," you say into his skin.
"And you're handsy."
You trail your lips up to his and press them to the corner of his mouth. "You love it."
"Guess I do," Joel says. He catches you in a lazy, slow kiss, tongue tracing the seam of your lips until you part them. He licks into your mouth like he's got all the time in the world and you let him. His nose presses against yours and you sigh even further into the embrace, pressing as close as you can, as if you could crawl into him and stay there forever. Any cold lingering in your bones is dispelled by Joel's touch, by the thigh he wedges between your legs. This could turn into something more, and you love when it does, but tonight it's just about being close. His hand trails up your side to cup your face as the kisses get lazier, sleepier. You're slotting his bottom lip between yours when he pulls back and --
Yawns in your face. 
He looks a little surprised and then frowns. You laugh and smooth the crease between his brows before kissing him once more.
"Jesus, Joel," you say. "Bedtime."
"Was sleepin' fine before you got here," he grumbles, but  in the same breath he wraps his arm around you and tugs you with him as he turns onto his back so your head lays on his chest. You match your breaths to his. He presses a kiss to your hair.
___
Two nights later you wake to an empty bed. 
You sleepily trail your hand through the sheets and find they still carry Joel's warmth. He must have gotten up a few minutes ago. You force your eyes to open but don't see a light in the bathroom, find no shadow in your eyesight. You can hear his voice in your head saying go back to sleep, s'nothin' but you know better than to listen to him when it comes to this. It's not like you'll be able to until you know he's okay, anyway. 
So you wrap the blanket from the foot of your bed around yourself and shuffle through the house and down the stairs. 
"Joel?" you call quietly. 
"Kitchen," he replies, a warm grumble in the still of the night. You didn't even look at the clock when you got out of bed but it must be late. 
He sits in the dark at your small kitchen table, eyes fixed on Ellie's garage out back. He's put a shirt on. Of course. Nightmare. This is where he always sits after he has one. His hands are wrapped around his mug. Based on the smell it's chamomile tea -- the only time he'll drink it instead of coffee is on nights like tonight. He had no idea it even grew in the greenhouses here until you presented him with a jar of it for Ellie back when you were still tiptoeing around whatever was between you. Those days are long gone.
"You okay?" You keep your voice hushed. It's rare these days that he'll want to be alone. You're the only one who gets to see him like this other than Ellie. It took a while but now Joel lets you comfort him, he lets you hold him together when he needs it. 
He tears his eyes from the window to meet yours, chin tipped up as he gets a good look at you in the dark. 
"M'alright." You take a few more steps into the kitchen and he frowns. "You cold?" He reaches for you with one hand, beckoning you close. You step into his space and he wraps one arm around you, leans his head against your soft stomach. You untangle from the blanket slightly to run your fingers through his hair. The touch is as grounding for him as it is for you.
"What can I do?" you ask him, ignoring his question. 
You can feel the warmth of his palm through the blanket and your sleep shirt. "This is just fine. Just need a minute." 
"You wanna take that minute on the couch?" He grunts his assent and you step back to allow him to get up. He leaves his mug on the table but catches your hand to pull you with him.
Joel sighs when he settles into the worn cushions, knees spread wide and head tipped back as be breathes. He doesn't look any more tired than usual but you can tell he's still holding onto whatever sent him down here. 
You press into his side, legs curled underneath you. His arm settles heavily on across your shoulders and you rest a palm on his knee. 
"Do you want to talk about it?" He turns his head to face you and his nostrils flare as he frowns.
"Nothin' new," he sighs. "A pretty old one, actually. Haven't had it in a while. 'Bout stuff from when we were on the road."
If he wants to say more he will. You don't know what it's like for him to worry about Ellie -- you only know how youworry. Once the sun rises he'll probably trudge over and knock on her door, ask if she wants to go for a ride. She'll complain about being woken up but she'll agree because she knows him, too. She'll see the tension at the edges of his eyes, in the set of his shoulders. There have been nights when you come downstairs to find her sleeping on the couch, too, just because she wanted to be sure he was okay.
You lean your head on his shoulder and breathe with him. He picks up your hand and rubs his thumb across the back of it slowly, as if he doesn't even know he's doing it.
Sleep is a near thing when Joel eventually clears his throat. "I got that gossip for you." His chest rumbles and you perk up, pulling back to look at him. His eyes have a bit more spark, a bit less of the far-away look he had when you came down the stairs. 
"Oh, do you now? Finally?"
"You're just impatient," he says. "Hadn't heard directly from either of 'em so I wasn't sure. But I tracked it down and got it from the source."
"You sound like a detective from one of those old shows. Got it from the source," you say, pitching your voice low and imitating his drawl. 
He manages to look unimpressed. "I don't have to tell you."
"Joel."
"Alright, alright. Well, it's about Wendy and Fred."
You sit up. "The couple that met on your group patrol?" It's something you and Ellie tease him about -- his accidental tendency to play matchmaker. Sometimes he leads group patrols for new folks or younger community members who are now old enough to join the roster. You think he probably enjoys scaring the shit out of them a little but he's also good at it, teaches them well and makes sure they're safe. Around the time you met you'd heard about a couple who met on a patrol and hit it off. It's happened a few more times with Joel's groups but Wendy and Fred are the only ones who have stayed together. 
"Mhm. Word is they're gettin' married."
You gasp. This is very far from what you expected him to tell you. A lot of the gossip you and Joel share is about people breaking up or sleeping together or moving out of Jackson. Sometimes it's petty theft or in-fighting at the council. But this? This is downright romantic.
"Married?" It's not uncommon these days but most people don't bother. But most importantly it means one thing -- there's going to be a party. "We haven't had a wedding in...forever," you say wistfully.
"Been a few years, yeah," Joel agrees. "Folks'll be excited."
"How did you find out?" 
He shifts on the couch a little and you take control of your clasped hands, holding one of his in both of yours as you trace the lines on his palm, the veins that go up his arm while he talks. 
"Heard from one of the guys at the festival that Fred was lookin' for a ring. Wanted to get the word out to some supply runs but without her knowin'. But I wasn't sure, since I hadn't seen him in a while. Then I saw Wendy at the pantry few days ago and she looked real happy. I didn't pry but asked her how things were and she was chipper as hell."
"And that wasn't enough to tell me?"
He squeezes your shoulder. 
"Yesterday Fred cornered me when I was headin' home and told me flat out. Thanked me for some fuckin' reason and said Wendy agreed to marry him. Kid looked like he was gonna throw up, he was so excited."
Joel's voice is warm. "You are such a romantic when you want to be," you tell him.
He smirks. "Heard that before."
"It'll be nice to have a celebration. If we're invited, you're dancing with me again."
"We better fuckin' be invited," he grumbles. "I introduced them."
"So you admit to being a matchmaker?"
He huffs. "Nah," he says, a little softer. "Dumb luck. S'how you get good things these days."
You shift under his arm a little bit. "Maybe," you reply. "I think we've earned a few of those things."
Joel drags a hand down his face. It's a motion that usually means he's chewing on what to say next. You spare him.
"This --" you gesture between the two of you "--and all of this --" you wave your hand at the room, the house "-- is more than I knew I could want. You, this house, that feisty, wonderful girl out back. This whole town. Waking up every morning and not dreading another day on this hellish planet. I didn't know this existed anymore, Joel, let alone that it was possible for me. And I think we've earned it."
He's quiet for a few breaths. "C'mere," he says softly. You don't know exactly what he means but he pulls you into his lap so you're straddling him, his arm firm around your hips. It could be a heated position, often is, but here it's just to be close. You catch yourself on his shoulders and drag your hands up to his cheeks. You hold his face in your hands, thumbs stroking the soft, forever-bruised skin under his eyes.
"You sure got a way with words," he says thickly, gaze heavy. "Don't know what I did to deserve this but I ain't gonna question it."
You wrap your arms around him and properly embrace him. He presses his palms to your back and hooks his chin over your shoulder. Your breathing syncs up and you swear your heartbeats do, too. Your whole body, your whole being tuned itself to Joel a long time ago. You'd do everything you've done twice over to get here. 
As if he hears the desperate devotion of your thoughts, Joel pulls back so he can lean up for a kiss. It's more intense than you expected it to be, like he's trying to tell you something with the press of his mouth. You know what he's trying to tell you -- you always do. Joel is better at showing you how he feels than telling you. 
He suckles your lower lip and you tug on the hair at the nape of his neck. He makes a noise low in his throat and you swallow it. You could touch him forever and never get enough. The firm planes of his back, the knot of tension always present in his shoulders. The scratch of his beard, the press of his nose against yours. You want to stitch yourself to him so that you never have to let go.
"S'your turn," Joel grumbles against your lips, pulling back to catch his breath.
Your brain is a little fuzzy. "Hm?"
"For somethin' juicy." 
It's a funny word coming from his mouth and it makes you laugh. His arms tighten around you and he drags his nose down your neck and breathes deep. You can get some gossip for him. You'd do much worse without being asked. Sometimes you think there are no limits to what you'd do for this man. It's a big thought, a dangerous thought, one that's suited to the world you live in now. You don't mind it.
"I'll get you something good, Joel Miller. I promise."
"I know you will," he says. "I trust you."
thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!
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mackjlee9 · 10 months
Note
OKAY OKAY I kinda had this idea earlier and I kept thinking abt it.
male reader x leon kennedy but reader got this carlos oliveira vibe- like he's this gorgeous flirty man that's just head over heels for re4 leon who keeps rejecting him for x or y reason. reader after some tries gives up and keeps his distance from leon but leon gets weirded out when he notices reader's flirtyness is missing. leon then realizes he's totally in love with reader but it's not until infinite darkness that he asks reader out for the first time and reader gets so excited he regains his flirtyness towards leon. 😭 they're in love your honor.
Leon Kennedy x Flirty!Male!Reader [Angst&Fluff]
Again, RE4 Leon and Infinite Darkness Leon for this one.
Masterlist.
Resident Evil
Leon had heard more than a few times his coworkers complaining about (M/n), but not because he was bad at his job or rude to others, it was because of how much he flirted with everyone.
The number of women that had fallen in love with the man only to realize he just liked flirting with everyone, men and women alike, ending heartbroken, and earning a feeling of hate toward him, was beyond them.
Of course, Leon was warned about these (M/n) antics and how everything just seemed to be part of his personality, so Leon grew used to the flirty comments and paid no mind to them, even during missions.
"Is it hot in here or is it just you?" He said during one of the times they had to stay put for a bit or they were gonna get found out, and well, Ashley definitely found the situation funny, chuckling at the way Leon rolled his eyes and completely ignored (M/n)'s attempt at making him flustered, "Well, next time it'll work."
He leaned closer to Ashley, watching and hearing her giggles at his antics.
"He's head over heels for me," the blonde girl almost let out a boisterous laugh, but she managed to cover her mouth in time, and (M/n) couldn't help but smile as his flirting and jokes lightened up the mood.
Whenever he could, (M/n) would drop a flirty comment toward Leon, who would only roll his eyes or completely ignore him, and Ashley couldn't help but notice the small pout and puppy eyes he would give the blond while he wasn't looking. Leon had previously warned her about his partner and how flirty he was with everyone he talked to, but so far? (M/n) hasn't flirted with her once, and now she felt like she knew why.
"Hey, uh... (M/n)?" She called him in a whisper, and the man glanced behind his shoulder at her, waiting for Leon to come back, he simply hummed in response, "You actually... Have feelings for Leon, don't you?"
Shaking off the feeling of surprise, (M/n) smiled with a small chuckle as his face heated up, "Is it really that obvious?"
Before Ashley could respond to him, the sound of Leon's running steps made them stay alert once again, standing up from their crouching position.
"It's no use, it's a dead end, we'll have to go around," as they made their way out of the room, (M/n) tripped on a piece of wood and stumbled to his knees, groaning in pain. For a moment, Leon felt worried, what if he actually injured himself? He approached (M/n) and knelt in front of him, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
Groaning again and nodding, (M/n) looked up at Leon, a playful smirk on his face and the blond was already sighing before even hearing him talk, "I just scraped my knee falling for you, gorgeous."
Ashley pressed her palm on her forehead, biting her lip to hold back her smile, and she watched Leon standing up and walking away in complete silence.
(M/n) sighed and stood up, ignoring the pain he felt in his leg, and Ashley only watched him with a sympathetic look in her eyes. "It'll work one day... It will..." He mumbled to himself as he followed behind Leon, making sure Ashley was safe in between them.
//////
On every mission they went on together (M/n) did the same thing, but he had started to tone down the flirting, especially after he realized that Leon seemed to have a thing for a certain woman in a red dress. And because of that, his flirting slowly stopped.
Not just with Leon, he wasn't flirting anymore, with anyone. And people around started the rumor that he got dumped, or rejected, but by who? Who was this person that made (M/n)- the guy that flirts as easily as breathing, just... Stop? No one knew, except (M/n) himself.
With the days turning into weeks, turning into months, (M/n) was silently walking around the office late at night. He had to stay late because he had some paperwork to do and reports to fill in, when he heard the muffled sounds of voices around the corner. Pretty much every agent had gone home for the day, or gone out on a mission, so he was really careful when he approached the corner, staying hidden and slowing his breath, paying close attention to the voices.
They were two women, talking about... Him?
"Not only hasn't he been flirting at all, he had been like, in a bad mood 24/7, it's annoying," gritting his teeth, (M/n) considered walking past them to let them know he heard them, but the other women spoke before he could.
"I don't know, he... He looks a little sad, as if he had his heart broken, and the last time I saw him flirting with someone was Agent Kennedy, do you think...?" The lady that spoke first scoffed, taking a sip of her tea.
"Servers him right, always playing with people's feelings, he got what he deserved," (M/n) held in his breath as he processed her words, was he really such a bad person? Was that what everyone thought of him? How everyone saw him?
It was true that he tends to flirt a lot, but it was only to lighten up the mood, he never did it with bad intentions, and he thought he always made sure he expressed he wasn't interested that way in someone...
Until he met Leon.
God, the way that man made his heart race... It only made him more flirty as a way to calm down, and maybe- hopefully- make Leon feel interested in him too but it only seemed to backfire. And now, they haven't talked in almost two weeks.
He sighed and decided he heard enough of the conversation between these two ladies, so he just walked past them, ignoring their squeals as they saw him.
"You think he heard us? He definitely heard us, Tiffany!" The lady that sort of defended him spoke, while the so-called Tiffany let out a dry laugh.
"Good~."
Yeah, good that I heard them...
//////
In the comfort of his bed, (M/n) lay awake. Replaying the same words over and over in his head. That question that just trailed in the air couldn't leave his mind, 'do you think...?' He knew what she wanted to ask.
Do you think he had feelings for Leon and he rejected him?
Well, it wasn't exactly like that, because he never confessed or asked him out, but every time he flirted with him, the pain in his chest kept increasing. It didn't matter how assertive and obvious he was, Leon would brush it off and dismiss his comment, unknowingly breaking his heart a little bit more every time. (M/n) could only tell himself that next time it'll work, he could fluster Leon next time, he just had to pick the right time...
But that next time never happened. Seeing how his comments were just released into the air, (M/n) slowly stopped caring. And that's how they had spent two weeks without talking. (M/n) just thought that being separated would help him get over Leon or make the blond miss him, but nothing. Of course, Leon didn't care about him enough to wonder and worry why he hasn't been behaving like himself, the reality left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he found it impossible to sleep that night, silently overthinking every decision he had taken in the past years.
But staying away from Leon didn't last long.
While (M/n) avoided eye contact with anyone in the President's office, Leon couldn't take his eyes away from him.
He didn't want to admit it, but this month they were apart... He couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw (M/n), silently eating his lunch and ignoring everyone and everything. Leon didn't have it in himself to ask him what was wrong, he was never big on reassuring others or giving advice, so he could only watch him from afar.
Despite everything, Leon missed him. He really did. It was weird not having (M/n) next to him at any given chance, flirting with him whenever he felt like it, and Leon wondered why he missed (M/n) so much.
The answer he got... Wasn't exactly ideal, per se. But he realized a few things about himself. One, why (M/n) flirting with others bothered him, and two, why his heart raced and body tingled when (M/n) would flirt with him. Both led to the same answer, and he felt like a complete idiot for not noticing sooner.
He liked (M/n). He wasn't sure he could say he was in love but, there was something there, some growing feelings.
With the whole mission going to shit and in an entirely different direction, Leon and (M/n) found themselves fighting for their life against a mutated Jason, Shen May's body slowly being corroded by the acid as they kept making their way up to prevent Jason from escaping the underground facility.
"Leon," (M/n) called him, and he signaled with his head toward the weapons stored a few feet away, "I'll distract him, go!" He shouted while lifting his pistol and shooting at Jason. The bullets weren't doing much against that thick skin he had now, but he made sure all his bullets -or most of them- landed on the very obvious glowing red spot on his chest.
Jason got irritated at the feeling of the bullets ricocheting off of him, and he turned toward (M/n), momentarily forgetting what he wanted to do, growling at him as he ran and jumped around to reach his new objective.
"Shit-!" He exclaimed while trying to run away, but Jason was faster and grabbed him, pressing painfully around his middle, making him release choked grunts, "Motherfucker..." He mumbled while trying, but failing to break free from Jason's grasp.
He just released what sounded like a laugh before throwing him off the edge of the platform. (M/n) managed to hold onto one of the pipes of the rail, groaning as he tried to pull himself up, but it was proving to be harder than he initially thought.
"(M/n)-!" Leon tried to run toward him after shooting the rocket, but he soon realized that Jason had managed to hold himself up and landed on another container, grabbing a piece of loose metal that was rapidly approaching his direction, "Fuck-!" He managed to dodge, but the platform kept shaking, its integrity wavering due to the corrosive acid.
Leon did everything he could, as quickly as he could, keeping an eye out for (M/n) who was still fighting to hold on, but his grip was slipping, and Leon wasn't gonna allow Jason to take another life.
And now, he couldn't stay still to watch how Jason slowly died in the acid, he had someone to rescue now. Landing on a nearby platform, Leon ran as fast as he could, almost feeling his legs give up with every step that echoed in the place, (M/n) was right there, he wasn't gonna let him die now, he knew... Leon knew he could save him, and that's what he's gonna do.
(M/n) groaned with gritted teeth as he tried to maintain his grip on the pipe, but his strength was giving up, and his mind was getting weak, convincing himself that this was it, and there was nothing he could do about it. He felt like an idiot who wasted his entire life when he didn't confess his feelings to Leon, now he would never get the chance to...
Sighing, (M/n) stopped fighting, letting his grip slip, and releasing the pipe.
Everything felt like it went in slow motion.
Leon saw how (M/n) started falling, and with tears in his eyes, he slid his way to him, barely managing to hook his leg around a pipe, while holding himself up to not fall in too, his free hand reaching (M/n)'s before it was too late.
He let out rapid breaths and tears spilled from his eyes down his face, looking into (M/n)'s (e/c) ones, who were staring up at him with surprise.
"I got you," (M/n) couldn't help but chuckle as he reached his other arm up to pull himself up with Leon's help, ending up pinning the male to the metal floor of the platform.
"Wanna go grab some beers? My treat," Leon smiled at him, and he found himself staring at (M/n)'s lips. Without uttering a word, Leon leaned up and pressed his lips on (M/n)'s, effectively catching the man off-guard, "Is... Is that a yes?"
Leon laughed and wrapped his arm around (M/n)'s neck, with his other intertwining their fingers together seeing as they were still holding onto each other.
"More than a yes, (M/n)."
(M/n) felt a shiver run down his spine, goosebumps appearing on his skin, and he couldn't hold back his smile as he leaned down to kiss Leon again.
If it wasn't because the place was about to fall in the acid they probably would've stayed there, kissing and giggling happily like teenagers in love.
Extended ending.
When everyone saw (M/n) walking inside past the main door, some people were happy to see him go back to his normal self, while others frowned as they dreaded the same flirty attitude from him, but everyone was caught off-guard when they saw Leon walk in right behind him, reaching for his hand and nudging him playfully with a giddy smile. (M/n) smiled at him and leaned closer to kiss Leon's cheek, going their separate ways from there.
Tiffany frowned at the sight and huffed, annoyed, while Moira had a small smile on her face, glad to know that whatever had happened between (M/n) and Leon was fixed and back to normal- well, better than normal.
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seoafin · 1 year
Text
And I know it's hard enough to love me (But I woke up in a safe house)
pairing: vash the stampede x fem!reader warnings/tags: babygirl vash, Depressing Pillow Talk, slighty nsfw towards the end, sharing one bed trope, title taken from let's get married (MITSKI VERS) word count: ~4.2k
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“My husband and I would like a room,” you say with a smile as you wrap your arms around Vash’s and lean into him. You feel his body startle at your touch, his gaze on top of your head as you play the part of the excited bride. You think he might pass out on you if you don’t get him to room, and fast. “We’re on our honeymoon.”
“In this shithole of a town?” The innkeeper asks with a raised eyebrow, looking from you to Vash, who only lets out a sheepish chuckle as he scratches the back of his head. Despite his sluggish breaths, his slow blinking gaze, and the red slowly staining his shirt.
You shrug, trying hard not to be impatient. “There are worse places.”
There are. You’ve survived them. Compared to the slums of December or September, this shabby, worn inn is paradise.
“Yer right ‘bout that,” he laughs, acquiescing, as he tosses a ring of keys into your hand and takes your pouch of money. Vash is slumped into you now, and you can tell he’s trying his hardest not to place the full weight of his body on you. To anyone else, it would look as if he was clinging to you, the picture of a loving couple.
“Cheers to the happy couple!” the man calls out, tipping his hat down as the two of you move to the stairs in front of you. 
Vash grins brightly, and manages a cheery, polite, “Thank you!” as the two of you pass.
You can’t resist the huff of a laugh that escapes your lips as you make your way up the stairs, and then into the small, modest dust lined room.
Vash collapses on the bed with a sharp exhale, and you immediately move to take off his shirt but his hand stops you by the wrist before you can.
“Sleep,” he murmurs, eyelashes fluttering. His fingers tightens, just imperceptibly, (even on the brink of sleep, he’s overly conscious about his strength, you think). In a way, it feels like he’s wordlessly imploring you to stay. “Jus’ need sleep. Not gonn’ take long.”
You blink. His fingers loosen, and in a few seconds his breathing has evened out into steady breaths. You’re relieved. He’s already stopped bleeding. From the months you’ve traveled with him, known him, he’s healed quickly enough that any other person wouldn’t understand. You still don’t. Not fully. But you’ve never asked questions. And as long as he never asked you any questions, that was fine with you. 
You stay on the bed, by his side for a few minutes, watching him. You take off his sunglasses and put them on the nightstand after wiping the blood off them. He’s an unusually pretty man. Too pretty for No Man’s Land. You trace his face with your eyes. The beauty mark right under his right eye to his parted pink lips. Then down to the rise and fall of his chest to the plates of the cybernetic prosthesis of his left arm. 
Lost technology. Not many people had access to that kind of technology. Or the knowledge to build that arm, let alone repair it.  
Standing, you give him one last glance, reload your revolver and tuck it into the holster at your side, before you leave in search of medical supplies to patch him up when he wakes. You scope out the town while at it. It’s small; a handful of residents armed to the teeth with guns, and even less children. There are pipes that run through the town that you assume are fed fresh water by a nearby plant. You locate a medical shop at the center of town. 
You buy antiseptic, gauze, and a few other things, before making your way back to the inn. The innkeeper gives you a wink.
When you open the door to the room, Vash is awake.
The sound of his harsh breathing fills the air. His metal hand fisted into the sheets so tightly you think it might tear. You meet his frantic gaze, and almost immediately, he slumps in relief, eyes dropping to his lap. 
You quietly shut the door. “Nightmare?”
Sometimes, in his sleep, you hear him call out for a woman named Rem.
He lets out a loud laugh. You pretend not to notice the shaky undertone of it. “I slept for longer than I thought!” His metallic hand curls and unfurls, catching on the dull light of the room. “I thought you…” he trails off, suddenly embarrassed. He looks away. 
“I brought supplies.” You place the bag on the table, next to Vash’s nickel revolver. You turn back to him: “Strip.”
His arms immediately make a cross on his chest, as if he’s already stripped, face bright red.
“I can do it myself—!”
Vash the Stampede. The humanoid Typhoon. The Sixty Billion Double Dollar Man. The man you originally only followed after to collect the criminals who swarmed to him, like flies to corpses. The man who leaves a trail of calamity and disaster in his wake. The man who continuously, everyday, without fail, begged you to leave the criminals you captured alive. A constant enigma and a headache. A walking contradiction. 
“I’ll leave the room,” you say. “Don’t take too long.”
You leave the room, leaning against the wall, and wait two minutes.
You open the door, and Vash jumps with a yelp, stripped to the waist, arms covering whatever he can manage.
Scars cover his entire torso, running all the way down his flesh arm to his hand. Deep scars, shallow scars, scars that have never entirely healed, leaving the skin dark pink and the flesh caved in. There are more scars than there is unblemished skin, missing chunks of skin replaced with metal plates and seams.
It's not a pretty sight, but you’ve never much cared for pretty. 
His face is flushed. “I thought—”
“I lied.”
“!?”
You shut the door with your heel, and then grab the gauze and antiseptic. “Turn around.”
Wordlessly, he turns, ears reddening. You direct him to sit on the bed, and then you begin to apply the antiseptic. The two of you sit in silence. You, disinfecting his fresh wounds and wrapping his back, while you also ignore the way his body tenses at your touch, his pointedly straight gaze, the constant bob of his throat, as if he’s looking for the right words to say.
He reluctantly speaks up. “You’re…not hurt, are you?”
“I’m fine,” you reply. Just a few scrapes and a bruised arm from where you had landed wrong after trying to dodge multiple rounds of bullets from the latest batch of criminals that had schemed to capture the humanoid typhoon. After hauling them to the police, Vash hiding away, you had gained yourself a hefty paycheck before being run out of the city, a bleeding Vash in tow.
You’re nearly done. The wounds aren’t nearly as severe as they had been only a couple of hours ago. The skin has healed enough that it’s already forming a scar. You don’t know much about Vash the Stampede, but you know enough to understand that he isn’t human. Not completely.
But he smiles. He laughs. He detests the very violence that nurtured you. He likes pizza and donuts. He’s moved to tears almost as easily as he seems to get hurt. He’s good with children. They trust him. Children love him in a way they don’t you: pulling him down to their height, climbing him, leading him and all his long limbs along. The way he takes their words seriously, nodding with all the gravity of a legal proceeding as they talk about the weather, their favorite foods, the silly argument they got into with a sibling. He smiles, and when he turns that smile onto you, it makes you think of everything warm and how you had forgotten what it meant to be happy.
He may not be human, but he is. Everything good about humanity that had been lost and forsaken when mankind crashed onto this unforgiving, harsh planet. 
You pull away, resisting the urge to press your fingers down on his skin, to trace the map of his scars and feel him shudder underneath you. He’s as warm as a furnace. The heat of his body stays with you. “How do you feel?”
He beams at you, one hand on his upper arm as he swings his arm around. “Perfect!”
You sigh. “Don’t push yourself now. Let me finish wrapping you.”
He retreats back to his original position, still smiling, all reservations about his partial nudity forgotten as he waits for you to finish.
Vash speaks. “You didn’t kill them.”
You glance up. You can only partially see his expression from your position behind him, but the pull of his lips is unmistakable. He’s smiling. And you don’t need to look at him to see it. That sweet smile of his that pulls at his eyes and softens his entire face. 
Your hands still. You hadn’t killed them. The Archie Brothers, the two brothers infamous for targeting banks and other commercial properties, who had gotten wind of Vash being in the city and emptied hundreds of rounds into the bar the two of you had momentarily settled in for a quick drink. It’s not as if you could’ve killed them in the first place. Vash was nothing if not easygoing, but keeping the criminals you turned in for a paycheck alive was the one thing he firmly enforced. Going as far to shield their bodies with his own.
He’s so troublesome sometimes.
You want to ask if he would’ve let you in the first place. If you had a choice. 
You force yourself to wind the bandage over his arm. “You must be rubbing off on me.”
Vash turns, faster than you anticipate, eyes wide. You can see the pale irises of his eyes. He’s delighted. “Really!?”
You blink, staring at him in silence. He goes red, jerking back, scuttling backwards with his hands like a crab until he reaches the end of the bed and then air. He falls back first, legs raised up in the air. 
He sits up with a sheepish chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. “I…I guess I got a little ahead of myself…”
“...pffft.”
He straightens just as you dissolve into full blown laughter. And when your laughter dies down he’s looking at you, eyes wide, like he’s seeing you for the first time. You clear your throat and look away, embarrassed. You don’t think you’ve ever laughed in front of him.
“...Something on my face?”
He jumps, frantically waving. “No, no. I just thought,” he hesitates. “You should laugh more.”
Something in your chest gives. You can’t stand it. Not when he looks at you like that. Eyes shining, lips curved softly, face animated like you’re the only thing that’s ever mattered.
People like him aren’t supposed to survive No Man’s Land. They aren’t built to. But you’ve seen with your own eyes how capable Vash is. It didn’t take much to kill a man in these lawless lands, but you had never seen him miss his target. Your didn't need to take pride in your aim to know it was excellent. You just didn’t have the same consideration for criminals Vash did. A life or two wasn’t something you lost sleep over. Casualties happened. And if it was a criminal, then it was simply divine judgment.
You stand from the bed and walk towards the desk. You take a doughnut out of a brown paper bag and throw it to him.
“For me?” He exclaims, easily catching it, even though you had thrown it to him.
You don’t respond. He enthusiastically tears it in half, and offers you the bigger piece.
You shake your head, the quirk of your lips, fond. “I don’t like sweet things.”
“I see…” he says thoughtfully, as if he’s digesting the information. “That makes sense. You don’t normally eat…”
It strikes you that this is the most you’ve ever talked about yourself. You’re unusually talkative today, and he notices. You find that you don’t mind. It’s alarmingly easy to talk to him now.
In the handful of months you’ve been traveling together, you’ve learned that all the crimes attributed to him had been the work of his twin, a man called Million Knives. A man you had managed to steal a glimpse of only once before Vash had locked you in a closet before rushing away. You were still sore over that. Even though he retrieved you soon after, apologizing profusely, accepting your cold shoulder with grace. Until you couldn’t bear the way he trailed after you with a pathetically sad expression on his face, and told him to stop. 
You never asked him for details. Of why his brother was terrorizing towns and cities, stealing plants and lives along the way. You’ve never pushed. You weren’t following the man to learn his life story. You were in it for the money.
Until one day, you realized he knew your exact bar order by heart. The kinds of alcohol you’d drink, and the kinds you wouldn’t touch. It was a small thing. But he looked so pleased when he placed the glass down, as he waited for you to drink it.
You knew his fear of you becoming potential collateral damage, but somewhere along the way you think you had grown on him. Somewhere along the nights listening to him cry out in his sleep for a woman named Rem, somewhere along watching the sliver of light heralding sunrise on the horizon together, somewhere in the silence in the dark of nights shared. 
You think he’s grown on you too.
“Have you eaten?” He asks. 
“Not hungry,” you reply, glancing out the window. Pitch black other than the glow of a single lone street lamp nearly a block down. “I’m going to sleep.” It wasn’t often you got to sleep on a bed, and you planned to make full use of it.
You go to the bathroom to wash up. When you walk out, Vash enters the room with a load of blankets. You look at him curiously.
“I asked the innkeeper for some blankets.” He laughs, recalling the conversation. “I said that my…” he trails off. “My…ah…wife…” Red paints his cheeks, and he looks away, raising the mound in his arms a bit higher to cover his face.
“...”
“...”
You watch as he makes his way to the other side of the room, keeping his gaze pointedly straight, and places the pile down. 
“You’re sleeping on the floor?”
“That’s right!” Vash pats the floor a little too vigorously for your liking. “Just like usual!”
You look at the bed. It’s big enough for the two of you so you had assumed you’d be sharing it… You’ve never shared a bed together before, but you had no problems with it, not with Vash.
He darts into the bathroom quickly enough that you don’t have time to say anything else. You hear the water run, turn off the lights, and get underneath the covers.
Then you wait.
When he leaves the bathroom, he gingerly folds his red jacket and sets it down on the chair. You wait until he passes the bed to strike, grabbing him by the shirt, and hauling him down onto the bed.
He yelps, a surprised, high pitched, noise that tears out of his throat. 
“We can share,” you say to him, his face inches apart from you. You can see his wide eyes, the bob of his throat working, pink lips parted as he stares at you, but your gaze is resolute.
And that’s that.
You figure that it might be easier for him to sleep if you aren’t facing him, so you turn to face the wall. You stare at the wall for ten minutes, waiting for him to settle into his side of the bed. Not even a faint rustle of the sheets. You wait a little longer. You can’t even hear him breathing.
You turn back around to face him and immediately he draws back even farther from his original position, on the tip of the bed where he’s precariously close to falling off.
A nervous chuckle. “I…”
“Sleep. I won’t say it again.” You study him, his slightly panicked expression, the grip of his metal hand fisted into the sheets. Oh. “Is it me?”
“N-nothing like that—!” He inches forward, just a little bit (still keeping his distance), puts his hand underneath the pillow, and squeezes his eyes tight. You watch him for a few seconds longer, specifically at the bead of sweat forming on the side of his temples. Your gaze drifts down, from the delicate slope of his nose to his lips.
You turn back around. 
Silence settles in the room like a muffled blanket. You still can’t tell if he’s breathing or not, and for some reason, sleep doesn’t come to you as easily as it usually does. The bed is too soft. 
You don’t know why you say it. Maybe it’s because you’re awake. Maybe it’s because you know Vash isn’t asleep. 
“When I was a child, a plant saved me.”
A few heartbeats pass.
Vash’s voice is softly hesitant. It feels like something gentle and your stomach coils tight, as if in preparation for the inevitable recoil that always follows. “Were you sick?” 
“I was.” The darkness reveals patterns in the wall, and your eyes go blurry with them. “The entire town was sick. Children were dying.” Religious fervor had taken ahold. Daily ritual acts of praying and calling out for salvation.
Taking you to your town’s plant when you were on the brink of death had been your mother’s first and final act of love. Afterwards, your mother often recounted in a drunken stupor that she was sure you were going to die. That it may have even been a mercy if you had. The plant cured you. Your mother was sure of it, the plant worshiping denizens of the town were sure of it. Nobody knew how. Nothing except for the fact that shortly after—
“The plant died the day after. I’ve never forgotten it.” You killed it. It was the first life you took.
It changed you. On a fundamental level. Something had happened to you on that day you can’t even remember. But that’s something you don’t think you can share. How sometimes, you don’t even need to dodge bullets.
That plant died, and now you are here, sharing a bed with a self proclaimed pacifist who refused to kill under any circumstances. A man who defied all logic and reasoning. A good man anyone would call misguided. A fool. An idealist.
In the end, lives would always demand sacrifice. It was either you, or them. It was kill, or be killed.
You don’t know what face he’s making behind you. Is he horrified to know that your life had ended before it started? That you were responsible for taking away the source of life for hundreds of people? That your existence was predicated on sacrifice and death before you even learned how to walk? You were at inherent odds with the idealism of pacifism. With him. Not out of choice, but because of circumstances out of your control.
Maybe a part of you wants him to hate you. Maybe a part of you is looking to be understood. But you thought that part of you had died long ago.
You shut your eyes, prepared to go to sleep.
Vash exhales. “I don’t…”
You open your eyes.
There’s a conviction in his voice you don’t understand. “You didn’t kill it.” You wonder how he can be so confident. “The plant saved you.” I know it did. 
You face him once more. He’s closer than he was before, close enough to easily touch. “Sometimes,” you start, hating the way he’s smiling at you in a way that touches his eyes, framed in the pale moonlight. “You really make me mad.”
His jaw comically drops open. You watch as panic instantly overtakes his face until he realizes the lack of heat in your words. His lips push back together to form a pout. He says your name.
“Why is your brother stealing plants?”
Money. Power. Recognition. Those would seem to be the most likely answers, but you’ve seen the wreckage that Million Knives leaves in the wake of his destruction. It’s cruelty. It’s too calculated to be careless. It’s pure hatred. You can’t fathom a man like as Vash's brother. Twin brother. 
But then that voice inside you speaks. Are you really any different?
Vash blinks, and then his face falls, gaze downcast. It feels odd to see him like this. You rarely catch him without a big, sheepish smile on his face nowadays, especially when he catches you looking at him, but you had seen him with a forlorn expression, shoulders slumped, in your early days of traveling together. When there were no children to demand a ride on his back, when the two of you momentarily passed an overcast shadow, in the darkness of the night when he thought nobody was looking.
You almost regret asking him in the first place. But he’s so close you can count his pale eyelashes, and you lose your train of thought.
“You could say it’s…” his mouth twists, “revenge.”
Revenge.
He’s not the first misanthrope in these lands. You think the occasional mass murderous thought, and you resist acting on it more often than you didn’t, the days before you met a blonde pacifist gunman. There’s only so much a human being can take.
You think of the kaleidoscope of scars that line his body. You only saw the ones on his upper body, but you don’t doubt the existence of countless others everywhere else.
It must’ve hurt. It must’ve been other people. People intent on capturing him. People who wanted to hurt him. You hate them all. Every single person that has permanently marked him a way that wasn’t theirs to do in the first place. You hate whoever severed his arm, whoever had repaid his kindness with violence.
Desire strikes you, hot and sudden. You want to count them all, trail your fingers over the heat of his body, the uneven layers of skin, and feel his breaths underneath you. You look at him, as his gaze lifts, remeeting your eyes, pleading for your understanding. Ball and chain to his brother. Shouldering the sins of family. You don’t understand it. Why he’s looking to you for acceptance, as if it’d even make a difference.
He is the only good thing in this harsh world, and you’ve found him.
“Maybe,” you tell him, as he hangs onto your every word. “We deserve it.”
You see the split second sadness weighing in his eyes, at your words, right before you curl your fingers into his shirt and pull him to your lips.
His eyes go wide, and something that sounds like a mixture of an exhale and gasp leaves his lips. You separate, your lips a hairbreadth away from his, as he stares at you.
“Is this okay?” You ask. If it wasn’t, you’d go back to sleep, and forget it ever happened in the first place. You made your move. It wasn’t reciprocated.
But then he nods, so vigorously that his blonde hair flops into his eyes.
You smile, and Vash lights up.
You kiss him again, drawing his face closer with your hand on his cheek. He complies with his entire body, closing the distance immediately, like if he can’t help himself. His lips are clumsy against yours, too eager, too desperate, wet and messy, as he pants into your mouth. Heat pools in your stomach, and you want more. You run your tongue over the seam of his lips, and he lets out a sigh of something that sounds reverently like your name against your mouth.
Then your tongue is in his mouth, and his flesh hand jumps. There’s a breathless, throaty whimper, the entire weight of his body pressing tight against you. So you can feel every part of him. How he’s willing to give you everything in the name of desire, of love. And when you pull away, his lips follow yours, spit slicked and swollen.
You easily lay him flat on his back as you move to straddle him. You kiss him again briefly, tenderly. Then you sit up and pull up his shirt, just enough to expose his torso. His metal fingers fist into the sheets when your finger goes to a scar of pink skin right about his hips, lightly following it to right below his chest.
He chokes with a shudder that wracks his body. You can feel him, heavy and hard pressing against you. The slight jump of his hips, barely restraining himself from rutting into you.
“It’s not…” Vash struggles with the words with heaving breaths, face bright red, embarrassment splayed out. He looks to the side. “A pretty sight.”
You think of heated irons and blistering pain. Thousands of blades slicing you open, needles penetrating flesh, blind white heat enveloping your body, and the mindless oblivion that would follow.
You realize you’ve been silent a beat too long when Vash looks like he’s preparing for your inevitable rejection.
“I’ve got scars too,” you say, finally. Quietly. You take his mechanical hand in yours and slowly slide him up underneath your shirt. “You want to see?”
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aphrogeneias · 6 months
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You stare at the payphone in front of you, wondering if it's a good idea to call him at this time.
It isn't late, but it is a Saturday night. He could be doing anything — could be with his friends, could be on a date of his own, which would make your heart drop if it wasn't already laying at your feet.
Rationally, you know those things are not true. Eddie didn't mention he was doing anything tonight, you'd be invited if he was. You also know that the closest he does from going on a date is flirting his way into a one night stand on the weekends.
Remembering that would also make your heart break, again, if it wasn't already broken and in pieces all around you, all over the sidewalk in front of The Hawk.
A movie date, it was what you'd been promised. The cute boy from your chemistry class you'd been eyeing all semester — distracting yourself from your attraction to Eddie, the ever unattainable one — had told you to meet him there. When he showed up, he had another girl on his arm.
His excuse was, "I talk to a lot of girls. Sorry, hun."
Of course he did. Of course you, in your desperate attempt to feel wanted, believed him.
Your hand is slightly shaking when you pick up the receiver, and dial the number you've memorized a long time ago. It doesn't take long for him to answer.
"Munson residence, this is Edward speaking."
You sniffle, snorting through the tears you didn't even notice falling. "Who the fuck is Edward?"
"Sweetheart? Is that you?"
"Yeah, um…", sighing, you steel yourself to no e forward with the real reason you were calling, "I need a favor, but it's okay if you're busy…"
"I'm not busy. Never busy for you." He remarks.
You take a moment to imagine him right now, standing next to the phone in his kitchen. Wearing a ratty band shirt from whatever concert he attended in the last couple of years, wearing those sweatpants he always wears at home, long hair in disarray. Cozy, warm, safe. All things you weren't feeling at that same moment.
"Can you come pick me up?" You ask, voice small. If you weren't talking so closely to the phone, he might not have heard you. "I'm at The Hawk and I walked here, don't wanna go home right now."
You hear shuffling on the other side of the phone, and the sound of keys rattling in the background. "Are you okay? Did something happen? What are you doing there alone?"
"I'll tell you when you're here. Please? I just don't wanna be alone right now." The sniffles come back, but this time because of the obvious affection in Eddie's voice. If you closed your eyes, you could almost see the crease in forehead, the pout on his full lips that made the lines around his mouth more prominent. You've always wanted to kiss them.
"I'll be there in fifteen. Ten, even! Don't move, okay?"
If you closed your eyes, you could almost feel one of his hugs, arms that loved to lift you off your feet, even though you protested each and every time. Arms that squeeze you tight, and refuse to let go until they have their fill. The boy you wished was the one taking you on dates and holding your hand in the dark of the movie theater.
"Okay."
You close your eyes, you feel it anyway.
"Hey, sweetheart." He calls, drawing your attention, "whatever it is, it's gonna be okay. I'll make it okay, yeah? I promise."
"I know."
You close your eyes, the line goes dead. You know.
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huboi · 4 months
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mistletoe
[kaeya, diluc, childe x gn reader]
╰┈➤ includes; various types of kisses, EXTREME fluff, kinda suggestive ig
╰┈➤ this content is rated 16+ for the suggestive content, please refrain from reading if under 16
╰┈➤ merry Christmas/happy holidays everyone! thanks so much for 900+ followers too <3
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for kaeya, Christmas is a really special occasion, mainly cause during Christmas diluc is actually nice to him and invites him over to the dawn winery for Christmas dinner
and that hasn’t changed just cause he’s dating you, diluc doesn’t mind inviting you too, as long as you guys don’t act too lovey dovey around him
when at the dawn winery, adelinde cooks so much food, and all of it is the best thing that has ever existed
when you and kaeya were about to leave, the sneaky bastard held up a mistletoe over your heads
he gives you a shit eating smirk before placing his lips over yours, giving you a chaste yet sweet kiss
when you guys separated, you were shocked that he didn’t go all out
“I’m not going all out since diluc’s here, and I can just about wait till we get back home for some more fun~” he cood, lightly tapping you on the butt as you hid your face into his chest so he couldn’t see your flustered expression
safe to say the morning after, you couldn’t walk at all :)
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he doesn’t mind Christmas, the only problem is he’s busier than ever since there’s quite a lot of work to do before he spends the holiday with you
he doesn’t like it, but it’s what needs to be done
one day when he came back home and was greeted by your embrace, he looked up since he noticed something green on the entrance of the house, only to roll his eyes in realisation
“did you put that there?” he queried, with a small grin on his face, he was shocked but not surprised since you tend to do this every. single. year, it’s like a tradition of yours at this point
“maybe, who knows? it could’ve been adelinde” you simply shrugged, placing your hands around dilucs neck and lightly swaying
sighing in response, he leant in for the kiss, only to be responded by your lips unexpectedly crashing against his, biting his lip, making him flinch so that you could explore his mouth with your tongue
he let out a muffled groan in response, large calloused hands wrapping around your waist
you jumped up into his embrace, wrapping your legs tightly against his slutty slim waist, diluc helping by holding onto your butt
next morning the bed was ‘surprisingly’ broken, a disappointed adelinde with her arms crossed against her chest, you and diluc covered in scratch and bite marks
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if possible, every year he heads back to snezhnaya to visit his family and spend the holidays there
this year he had time off luckily, and so he also brought you
this is the first time you’ve seen his family, yes you’ve heard of them all from ajax, especially of teucer, but you’re still very nervous about meeting them, especially his mother
when you arrived at the door, you were sweating buckets, ajax simply held your gloves hand into his larger hand that was bare since he’s so used to this weather
first thing that happens is teucer screams that you two have to kiss since you’re both standing underneath the mistletoe
ajax obviously acts first, giving you a small kiss on the lips before rushing towards teucer and spinning him around before embracing him into a tight bear hug
yes, he brought so many presents for everyone, he even brought some that are for you (the rest are back in liyue, where you originally reside)
his mother was so nice to you, giving you a nice big hug as soon as she saw you, and calling you beautiful/handsome etc.
she’s surprisingly tall, obviously ginger, and has quite a curvy chubby body, she’s berry huggable and so sweet
despite her adorable appearance, her face seems quite intimidating at first glance, but she’s the sweetest lady you have ever met
you, ajax, and the rest of the family had such fun at the dinner table and playing all sorts of games before you had to go to sleep due to the fact that you were both heading back the day after
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content belongs to @huboi on tumblr, DO NOT REPOST ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHATSOEVER
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m1kasawps · 9 months
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childhood friends, daryl dixon.
summary: in which you reunite with your childhood friend, only for him to underestimate your value in the current state of the world.
warnings: fem!reader, surgeon!reader, typical twd violence, and not proof read atm.
notes: request from anon! i put a small twist on this request so i hope you enjoy! also i really need to start proof reading my work right away cause i feel like there might be tons of little embarrassing mistakes i haven’t noticed so let me know if that’s a common thing on all my ‘not yet proof read’ fics because if so i’m going to go back and fix them, ty bbies!
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One thing Daryl Dixon still remembers about his life before the dead started walking, is his childhood best friend. The girl that he always went to when he was upset, the girl that always knew how to cheer him up, and that same girl that eventually moved away before the two of them started high school, leaving him heartbroken as her and her family drove off to go live in a small community far away from him, not looking back.
Whenever the memories of that girl cloud his mind, he feels pathetic, quickly reminding himself that she’s probably a walker now, having absolutely no memory of him or her own childhood.
However, the one possibility that sounded insane to him, happens to be the reality. That girl is you, who’s younger self hated her parents for ripping her away from everything and everyone she’s known since birth to move to Alexandria, but now is extremely grateful for them, as she has a safe place to stay in during the world going to shit.
“(Y/N).” A loud voice calls you from outside your house, causing you to walk downstairs and open the door. “Deanna, what’s up? It’s like three in the morning.” You sigh, leaning on the door frame, wearing fluffy slippers and a pair of shorts with a tank top. “We have a group that just arrived, some of them need medical attention and check ups.” The older lady explains, bring your attention to the group of people standing in the middle of the road with Aaron. “Alright, one second.” You nod, grabbing your jacket off of the coat rack and quickly putting it on, then following Deanna towards the group.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is (Y/N) (L/N), she’s our nurse and she’s going to do routine check ups on everyone.” The leader of your community explains to the new residents, causing everyone to turn to face you. “Um, I’m gonna check the children first.” You say, a warm smile on your face, hoping to relieve the tension between everyone. “(Y/N)?” Someone says, causing your eyes to follow their voice, being greeted by the sight of someone you recognize. “Daryl?” You gasp. His eyes are wide as you run up to him and hug him, “Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in forever! I didn’t even know if you were…” You don’t finish your sentence, assuming he knows what you were going to say. “Yeah, same.” He breathes out, warming up to the hug and wrapping his arms around you. “You know her?” Another man cuts in, causing you to pull away from Daryl. “She was my friend way back, before high school.” He explains to the other man, “Sorry, who are you?” You ask. “Rick, Rick Grimes.” The man, who you now know as Rick, hesitantly replies. “Oh, nice to meet you. These are your children, yes?” You glance at the young girl he’s holding and the older boy that’s next to him. “Yes.” He nods. “Okay, Do you mind if I take them to the infirmary and check for bites or injuries? It’s a typical procedure here.” You explain. He doesn’t respond. “You can of course come with us.” You add, hoping it convinced him, “Yeah, sure.” He agrees this time. “Okay, I’ll see you soon.” You softly smile at Daryl before turning around, “Come with me, please.” You instruct Rick and his family. “(Y/N), let me know if there’s any issues.” Deanna stops you before you start walking, a concerned look in her eyes. You raise an eyebrow, slightly confused at her worried state, “Of course.” You continue walking.
“Okay, Daryl, your turn.” You walk out of the infirmary room, gesturing to the man that’s sitting on the porch of the building, waiting for the other member’s of his group do get done with their checkups. “Mk.” He gets up, following you back into the room, closing the door behind him. “So, just sit here.” You tap on the chair in the middle of the room, “I’m basically just asking you questions about how you feel and checking your temperature, things like that.” You say your usually ‘speech’, something you usually do in hopes of comforting new group members. “Alright.” He sits down, watching as you shuffle around the room, grabbing a pen and clipboard off of one of the counters. “First question, do you have any bites or scratches?” You ask him. “That’s a stupid question. That’s why these people got you askin’?” He scoffs. You bluntly stare at him, “It’s procedure.” The man shakes his head, “Naw.” You check the ‘no’ box on the paperwork. “Okay, common symptoms of being turned include a fever, so I’m going to check your temperature now.” You plsce your clipboard to the side, getting off of the small stool and walking towards a cabinet filled with medical equipment. “Ya even a real nurse?” Daryl asks. “I went to university, then graduated, then became a top surgeon, so yeah, I have most of the skills to help people.” You roll your eyes, turning around and sitting back down on the stool in front of him. “Ahh, big shot.” He hums as you check his temperature. “No fever, you’re hopefully, not infected.” You sarcastically smile. “Now, you and your friend Rick are coming on a supply run with me tomorrow morning, so go get some sleep.” You stand up and gesture for him to leave the infirmary. “Your coming on a supply run? I don’t think you should, it’s dangerous.” He gives you a weird look. “I think I can handle it.” You laugh his comment off. “Based off the rest of these people, y’all don’t stand a chance if these walks come down, not without my group.” He adds. “I can handle myself. Some of the other residents might not have as much skill as your group, but I assure you, I got just as much experience as you. I’ll be a great addition to the supply runs. Anyways, I usually do them, at least before you guys got here.” You glare at him, roughly closing the medical cabinet. He doesn’t say anything, worry and doubt in his mind as he leaves the room, shutting the door and leaving you alone to clean up.
“Morning.” You walk up to the two men that are standing just outside of the gate, talking to each other in low whispers.“Good morning.” Rick turns around when he hears your voice. You nod, not bothering to make any more conversation, considering your last conversation involved Daryl undermining your capability of navigating the state of the world outside of Alexandria. “Close the gates.” You yell back to the lady on watch, you think her name’s Rosita. “Got it.” She starts closing the gate as the three of you walk away from the safe haven, heading towards a nearby town.
“We need more baby food, for, uh, Judith.” You mumble, reading the list on the small crumpled paper you’re holding. “Daryl.” Rick’s panicked voice sends shivers down you spine, causing you to look up with a concerned look on your face, greeted by the sight of a small group of walkers inching closer to you and the two men. “Shit.” You huff. The three of you quickly get your knives ready, moving away from each other and towards the walkers. While Rick and Daryl deal with the rest of the dead, you deal with about five of your own. Plunging your knife into each of their skulls, you quickly kill all of them, leaving blood splatters all over your clothes. “Am I capable of going on supply runs, now?” You turn to face Daryl, opening your mouth to continue, but quickly running towards him when you notice a walker push him over and fall on top of his body. “Rick!” You call the other man’s name, who just finished dealing with another walker, to get his attention. He turns around and is quick to follow you towards the other man. However, you get there before him, standing over the Walker and jamming your knife into the back of it’s head. Letting out a tired sigh, you wipe some more blood off of your forehead, then shoving the body of the walker off of Daryl. “Thanks.” He manages to breathe out. “Mhm.” You nod. You know it’s stubborn to still be pissed about what he said to you when he almost got eaten alive, but considering you saved his life despite his lack of faith in your survival skills, it felt too ironic.
Walking up and down the aisles of the small and abandoned grocery store, Daryl follows you around like a small puppy. “Why are you following me around? Go follow Rick.” You shake your head, tossing another box of old pasta into your bag. “Rick’s in the other store, I wanted to shop in this store.” Daryl scratches the back of his neck, attempting to create an excuse to walk with you, or really, follow behind you. “Sure.” You roll your eyes. “Hold this.” You abruptly stop and pass your bag to Daryl, the man taking it from you and watching as you stand up on your toes to reach a different box of pasta that’s on the highest shelf. “Here.” You drop the pasta box down, Daryl managing to catch it with your bag. Standing back down, you take the bag back from him, before moving to walk down the next aisle. “I’m sorry, alright? I know you’re capable of handling yourself, I just hadn’t seen you in so long and all those other residents have barely even seen the outside world since moving to that place.” He huffs, grabbing your arm before you can continue to sulk around the store. “I haven’t seen you in, I don’t even know how long at this point, and one of the first real conversations we had, involved you making a snap judgement and regarding me as useless aside from being a nurse.” You look at him, your tone harsh. “I’m sorry, how many times I gotta say it?” Daryl scoffs. “I want you to admit that you were wrong.” You cross your arms, holding them up your chest, your mouth pressed into a firm line. “Fine.” He pauses, “I was wrong, you’re not useless, I never even meant to say that.” He continues. His voice is low like usual, but his facial expression tells a different story, a soft look in his eyes with a small but genuine smile forming. “You’re forgiven.” You hold yourself back from smiling, “I guess.” You shrug. “You’re more stubborn than me, huh?” He laughs. “Always been that way, remember when I didn’t talk to you for a full day because you took my ice cream?” You playfully bump his arm with your arm, “Oh, I remember.” He says.
Daryl never thought he’d see you again, but now that he’s standing right in front of you, the two of you laughing and making jokes, he can start to feel those certain butterflies he felt in his stomach from when he was younger. The butterflies that only showed up whenever he was near you.
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zoohouseart · 1 year
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An idea of how Ed Edd n Eddy's cast may appear as adults. I wrote a bio for each one too.
Ed: Married May Kanker right out of high school, had 26 kids all named after monster movies (all of which he's VERY protective of). Spends a simple life working on tree-lifting and mine digging, bathes in gravy every night. Misses Edd and Eddy a whole, whole lot. Unfortunately doesn't see them often, since they moved further into the city while he stayed in the cul-de-sac.
Edd (Double D): Cleaned his act, got the girl, gained a master's in science and engineering, became a teacher, and yet STILL isn't happy or widely respected. Has yet to fully address his long standing anxiety of taking off his hat. Cannot let himself catch a break as he stresses daily about getting the bills paid. Wishes there was more to life than this ever-revolving door of monotony.
Eddy: Flunked out of college. Works as an errand boy for the mayor of Peach Creek and "oversees productivity". Secretly continues to feed his compulsions to scam and gamble at any chance he can get. Spends his every evening dreaming of the day where HE's the mayor, and scheming up ideas he'll never enact (unless..). Often complains that jawbreakers aren't as big as they used to be.
Nazz: Lives a bohemian life, praying someday her time to shine will glisten once more as an "influencer" but works retail in the meantime. Mooches off her fiancée Edd and tries to make up for it in emotional (and erm, well, physical) support. Is struggling with the idea that she peaked in high school, but will never admit it. Mockingly called "Double Z" by Eddy, though she doesn't mind.
Kevin: Is the mayor of Peach Creek. Won this view through pure charisma and good word as the football king of Peach Creek High and general "best at everything", but is often these days fumbling the ball on keeping the streets safe and clean. Is now friends with Eddy, or at least he likes to think so. Is sad he didn't make it into pro league, and will sulk about it when noone's looking.
Sarah: Took up the job of being a shrink (specifically in anger management), and a general town do-gooder. She's often, even if obnoxiously, asking to help others. Has really turned her life around from her loudmouthed, vicious childhood and make up for her past cruelties.. but has mostly done so just to repress her unbridled rage bubbling inside. Whatever you do, don't bring up Jimmy in front of her.
Jimmy: Sarah and Jimmy were conjoined to the hip practically forever, until the day his braces came off. Once he did, he got the call from Hollywood for his incredible acting chops, and ditched his BFF without a second thought. People often tour Peach Creek to see his hometown, much to the chagrin of everyone there. Is a real piece of work these days and could use a nice ass whooping.
Rolf: Grew to be a mighty farmer, creating a titanic cattle industry. Used his profits to buy a massive chunk of Peach Creek and turn it into "New Yergosluvia", so his old country family could live nearby. There he resides as it's king, and frequently feuds with old friend Kevin. Wears Victor's pelt in honor of his life-long servitude to a son of a shepherd (Victor passed peacefully in his sleep).
Johnny 2x4: MIA. As the Eds became more accepted, Johnny became the new misfit. One day, tragedy suddenly struck Plank in senior year of high school, and Johnny was never seen again. There's urban legends of crudely drawn faces appearing on the trees around the old cul-de-sac they grew up in. Ed swears he's seen one tree move. But that's crazy Ed for you. …Right?
May Kanker: Spends her days mostly exhausted from having to take care of 26 children, and hardly ever leaves the house. When she's not trying to drown out the kids with a cranked up TV, she's spending every other hour gossiping about occurrences across the city with her sisters.. though there's not a lot of time between that and cleaning up shit smeared on the walls.
Marie Kanker: Was expelled from Peach Creek High School for stalking Edd and threatening harm on Nazz. She now spends her days as a forum rat on doxxing related message boards, betwixt a day job of driving a garbage truck, where she mostly rides around town spying on people and scribbling down their whereabouts. She too spends all remaining hours gossiping with her sisters.
Lee Kanker: Was mid-planning on going to college and had her life all figured out to be a part of law enforcement until she was unexpectedly locked up for "illegal wood burning". She swears she was framed but has no idea who could've done it. She's usually calling her sisters, but occasionally talks with Eddy. She's not interested in him anymore; they just like to shoot the shit sometimes.
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eshayteaparty · 2 months
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Security, Tranquillity
~Fandom(s): Hazbin Hotel
~Warning(s): swearing 
~Ship(s): Huskerdust (Husk x Angeldust)
Starring teen!reader 
~Word count: 1,830 (estimate)
Based off of this ask: parental huskerdust w a teen reader who has a knack for staying up late because of insomnia. Usually staying up with Husk and Angel whenever he gets back from work, you can do whatever with it. (creds to @maddiigascarrr) <33 
~In which no matter how hard you try, and how safe the hotel is, you just can’t sleep. Neither can your two ‘dads’, but they plan to help you to the best of their ability (because they want to drink themselves senseless and don’t want you around to see that). 
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-♥+♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥+♥-
To be in your youth was to be in your prime. To be energetic, fun-loving, innocent and easy to influence. Unfortunately, as you had been sent to hell for whatever reason while living out this time, there were a lot of opportunities you were missing out on. Like making friends at a school, where everybody was around your age. Despite the semi-normal life Charlie Moringstar strived to provide for you, down here you still lived in constant fear. At any moment, it felt as if you could be snatched up and taken off to Satan knows where, and not a sinner would notice. The terror of this concept brought on nightmares…which then brought on insomnia.
Every second night you would wake up screaming, or for no reason at ungodly hours, which frightened you into staying awake. You were somewhat of a universal treasure in terms of inside the hotel, so when your fellow residents took notice of this problem (and had it unwillingly wake them up time and time again), they started doing everything they could to fix it.
Charlie had been the first one to notice. She had gotten Lucifer to fashion you a plush toy duck that glowed softly in the dark. Though he had promised you it would ward off any ‘spookers’, as he had called your issues, it had ended up making a shadow in the corner of the room look an awful lot like a monster. Back to the drawing board.
After that, Alastor had commissioned Rosie to knit you a soft blanket, much to Charlie’s delight. True to his word, it was comfortable and warm, but the patterns on it weren’t the most….age-appropriate. To be fair, Alastor hadn’t given her much for the design. Another cross on the endless list of empty solutions. 
As you got used to hell and the people there, your problem got a little easier to stand. You were kept in good company- adults who were all at least semi-fond of you. And none of them really seemed murderous at all. Still, there was no telling what went on at night, and that was a heavy ‘what-if’, so you stayed up. 
Every. 
Single.
Night.
After your last few experiences with Husker and Angeldust you had decided they were your favourite sinners there. Angel was funny and sweet and pushed crude jokes aside when it came to you for the most part, and Husk had this underlying fatherly aura about him- even if he was a  crusty old bartender. So, when you found yourself unable to rest, as was your reality the majority of other times, you would go to the bar, sit up, and either listen to the duo’s banter or talk their respective ears off. This was one of those nights.
When Husker first saw you approaching the bar in your pyjamas with your hands fidgeting together, he wanted to turn you around and send you right back to bed. He didn’t mind your company, but a bar wasn’t a place for kids. Especially not at night. However, residents were still scarce around here. It wasn’t much of a problem, as long as you let him work.
He watches you sit up, his ears twitching slightly. He sniffs in acknowledgement. 
“More bad dreams, kiddo?”
You nod, rubbing your eyes and sniffling as you rest your elbows up on the countertop. Husker sighs softly, and rubs his paw through your hair, giving your head gentle scratches. “It’ll be okay. You’ll get over it eventually, I know it. You’re strong, little buddy.”
Beside you sits Angel, who is there just about as much as you. He rubs one of his hands over your shoulder, leaning in to lightly place his chin on your shoulder. “You’ll be okay, toots. I’ve seen ya gettin’ better.” he lifts his head back up. “Fuck, it just makes ya wish one of us was the sandman or some shit, huh? Or there were any normal sleep drugs down ‘ere. Wonder if the big boss could use sum’a his fancy ass magic to lull ya into….er…slumber.” Husker snorts.
“...mister Lucifer?” you confirm sleepily, and the bartender nods. 
“He made you that duck thingy, and…well…this entire fuck- I mean…this hotel. Surely he could knock you out if ya asked.”
You shake your head, carding your hands through your unruly hair and rubbing the dark circles under your eyes with your pinkies. “Don’t wanna. Don’t want his magic in my head.”
Husker chews his lip, then shrugs, turning back around to fix a drink for you- alcohol free, of course. “Whatever you say.”
Angel pets the space in-between your shoulder blades. He notices that each time your eyes start to flicker, you slam your little fist on the countertop and force yourself to stay conscious. Your head looks like it weighs a thousand pounds. It probably feels that way too.
“Hey.”
You turn to him, and he takes your chin in one of the hands on his lower pair of arms. “When was the last time ya actually got a full night’a sleep, bubs?”
“...” you rack your brain as best you can while sleep-deprived, and come up inevitably with nothing. You shake your head at him. “Can’t remember.”
Angel looks upset. He knows how it feels to be afraid to sleep at night from terrors lingering over him from the day.
“Still squeamish, huh?” you nod. “But…ya know that you are…safe. Here. don’t ya?” you nod again. “So what’s the problem?”
Husk pushes a little glass of juice towards you from the opposite side of the counter. He smiles slightly at you, hoping to reassure. “On the house.”  
Your attention is drawn back to Angeldust, and your fingers twitch and tremble as you try to find a way to summarise your reason.
“I-I-” you swallow, gripping a fistful of your pyjama shirt. “I’m scared. Of…here. This place. It’s hot, and red, and ....b-bloody…” your bottom lip starts to tremble against your will, and Angel pulls you into his lap, rubbing your biceps. “I w-wanna go home. Somebody’s gonna g-get me when I’m sleeping, I know it! I saw Radio eat those shark guys when Mimzy came!”
“Shh.” Angel cuddles you so much it feels like you’re being squished. Half of him has a mind expecting you to squeal like a dog toy. “S’okay, alright? You’ve gotta good gang here, y/n. You’ve got me, Whiskers, Charlie, mister Morningstar. I mean, hell! You’re under the protection of the head of this shitshow himself!” 
“But I c-can’t go to sleep!” your voice wavers, turning quiet and weak. You sound much younger than you are. “I can’t! I see all the demons in my dreams! They won’t go away!”
By now, Husk has walked around the bar to hug you along with Angel, wrapping up the three of you in a warm and furry embrace. As you start to cry, the two of them are right there with you, hearing you out on every word you utter from your chapped lips. You find you like cuddling up to them, even though they’re both furry enough to make a whole rug out of.
Once your sniffling has ceased enough for you to form a comprehensible sentence, Angel coaxes you into looking up at him again. “Are ya really havin’ trouble, dolly?”
You nod tearfully, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. You wish you'd stayed long enough on earth to outgrow this.
Angel glances at Husk, and smirks softly, then looks back at you, brushing away your hair from your damp cheeks. “Then come ta’ bed with us, okay? We’ll keep ya safe. I promise.”
You gasp, and your eyes fill with hope and relief. “R-really?” Husk carefully smothers you in his wings, bundling you up and taking you from Angel. 
“Uh-huh. Cmon, y/n. We can’t leave you like this. You’re out here every night, not even first in command has a solution.” He starts to walk with you in his arms, and Angel in tow, looking around the hotel in the dark. He never really goes to bed anymore, in favour of spending day and night at the bar and getting piss drunk every second night. He can clean up the rest of the dishes later. 
The two men both walk up the stairs with you, then down the hallway towards Angel’s bedroom. Angel pulls back the cover on his bed, dusting off the mattress protector. “Gotta make sure there’s no coke in the sheets…”
“Angel.”
“Sorry!” he makes a motion for Husk to tuck you in, and he does, laying you down with your head on the pillow. Angel’s bed smells like alcohol, and he seems to notice that you’re not a fan. He opens his drawer, and sifts through it, taking out a perfume. “This’ll make shit a lot better.”
As he’s about to aim it into the air, Husker gently but firmly grasps his wrist. “Don’t. Not that one.”
“Why not?! Don’t you love the smell of Hello Kitty?!”
He tries to take the perfume away, but Angel is holding it above his head. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ spray that, Legs! That shit is toxic!”
Angel presses the button on the perfume, letting Hello Kitty body spray into the air and making the room smell like cotton candy and chemicals. You hide your nose in Angel’s duvet.
“What?” Angel looks to the both of you, tossing up his upper pair of arms. “It’s fresh!” 
“Smells like a damn plastic carnival in here now.” Husk covers his nose, his whiskers twitching. “For fuck’s sake. The kid doesn’t even like it.” 
You start to giggle despite yourself, and Angel quickly follows suit, the both of you just on his bed laughing. Husker sighs softly, and reaches over Angel, carefully untying his bowtie. “Want the rest off?” Angel nods. Husk gets him to shrug off his blazer, and Angel replaces it with a light pink sleep shirt of his own. He brushes a hand through the fluff on his head, which always looks so soft.
“S’hot t’night, isn’t it, y/n? Still wanna cuddle?” he opens his arms, and to his mild surprise, you’re right there with him, Husk joining beside you after setting his outer accessories to the side. He curls his wings around you and Angel, flicking off the lava lamp beside the spider demon’s bed. They both look down at you.
“...if ya ever feel afraid, y/n…for anything…” Anthony runs his finger slowly under your chin, “that’s okay. It’s okay to be scared, ya know why? Cuz this’s a scary place. With scary people. But in every bad, cuore mio, there’s a good. And this hotel, this is the good.” 
Husk looks adoringly at Anthony, his flaxen eyes twinkling in the dark. After welcome gazing, he meets your own.
“We’re gonna be right here when you wake up, kid.” he says gruffly, petting your back as your eyelids grow heavier and your head slowly flops into Angel’s torso, marking him as your pillow for the night.
“Whenever that may be.”
For the first time in weeks…your mind was put to peace. With these two polar opposites, you had found a home. Whether it was to be temporary or everlasting, only time would tell. But you had tonight, and that was all that mattered.
To nobody's surprise but your own, you woke up unscathed.
-♥+♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥+♥-
I hope this adds up, I kinda made it into a fear of sleeping rather than insomnia but the original ask plot is still there. I hope this was good xx thankyou for reading
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personwhowrites · 11 months
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Picture 
You find yourself staring at your phone, a familiar routine after completing a long and arduous mission. Usually, you would call home to let your loved ones know that you're safe and sound. However, this time, a wave of weariness and a desire to shield your family from unnecessary worry overcomes you. As you contemplate your decision, a dark figure materializes beside you, sending a chill down your spine. It's Ghost, the enigmatic and stoic member of your team. The proximity of his presence unsettles you, and you wonder why he has chosen to be so close to you at this moment.
"You look down," Ghost murmurs in his deep, gravelly voice, the words barely audible beneath his mask.
A sudden smile lights up your face, feeling a flicker of warmth amidst the shadows of your thoughts. Soap joins you, followed by Gaz, their curiosity piqued by your unusual behavior.
"Y/n! Hey, Gaz and I were planning to head to Price's office to grab some food," Soap says mischievously, revealing a stash of contraband provisions. "You know it's the only place we won't get interrogated about it."
"You two managed to sneak in food again?" you exclaim, shaking your head in both amusement and disbelief. "Please tell me it's not from that terrible burger joint."
"Maybe..." Gaz replies with a sly wink. "Come on, have you finished your call?"
You remain silent, clearing your throat as a momentary pause fills the air. Gathering your resolve, you glance at your phone, pull up the camera app, and swiftly snap a candid picture of Soap, catching him completely off guard. Laughter erupts as you capture his bewildered expression. Gaz playfully snatches the phone from your hand, promptly taking a picture of himself, exaggerating a pout with his lips.
"Duck face, seriously?" Soap retorts, wresting the phone away from Gaz's grasp. "I can do better than that."
Before you know it, the two men are engaged in a lighthearted and spirited photo session, their carefree nature shining through as they strike poses with hearts and peace signs. Ghost stands nearby, shaking his head at the playful antics, but unable to resist the infectious laughter that fills the room. With a subtle motion, he takes hold of the phone, observing the two men with his arms crossed, an enigmatic smile hidden beneath his mask.
"You guys are a riot," you exclaim, flipping through the images in your photo album. "I'm definitely going to show these to Price!"
Determined, you make your way to Price's office, bursting in without a moment's hesitation. The seasoned commander, expecting your entrance, stands with his arms folded, wearing a stern expression. You eagerly rush to present him with the photographic evidence of Soap and Gaz's antics, the duo following you into the office with their contraband food, and Ghost silently trailing behind. Price squints as you display the pictures, a mixture of amusement and disapproval crossing his face.
"Let me see that," Price says, reaching for the phone and deftly navigating to the camera roll. "Your photos are full of them. But why not include your captain?"
A wide grin spreads across your face as Price, with an air of playfulness, captures a series of self-portraits. Soap and Gaz swiftly join in, gleefully photobombing Price's shots with exaggerated poses and comedic faces. Meanwhile, Ghost stands in the background, his cold gaze fixed on the phone, seemingly uninterested in participating but unable to tear his eyes away.
Later that night, after bidding farewell to your comrades, you retire to your sleeping quarters. Exhaustion weighs heavily upon you, prompting you to collapse onto your bed. Letting out a deep sigh, you begin scrolling through the photos from earlier, reflecting on the day's events. In one picture, you notice a corner where Ghost's hazel eyes shimmer, seemingly inviting and mysterious. Intrigued, you sit up abruptly, contemplating the choices you made. Your eyes wander to the contacts in your phone, where the numbers of your family reside. You bite your lip, suddenly questioning whether it was wrong to withhold your call from them. Shaking off the guilt, you set the phone aside and lie back down, yawning and gradually surrendering to sleep.
At some point, a touch on your shoulder rouses you from your slumber. Startled, you sit up swiftly, straining to perceive your surroundings in the pitch-black room. It's not yet morning, but a presence lingers. Ghost's voice breaks the silence, soothing yet tinged with concern.
"Relax," he murmurs as he settles next to you. "I heard something fall from your room, so I came to pick it up."
You strain your eyes in the darkness, but it proves futile. Ghost places your phone in your hand, and a heavy silence hangs between you. As you attempt to switch on the device, Ghost halts your movement.
"Why didn't you call your family?" Ghost's tone takes on a serious note. "You always do."
"Oh, uh, I must have forgotten," you stammer awkwardly, caught off guard by the sudden intensity of his question. "You know me, Ghost..."
"I don't know you," Ghost responds sternly, his voice cutting through the darkness. "And you don't know me."
Confusion fills your voice as you struggle to comprehend the shift in his demeanor. "Sorry?" you utter, searching for understanding. "But... uh, thanks for picking up my phone."
Ghost's next words pierce the air, carrying a blunt and unexpected revelation. "Did you not want a picture of me? Is that it?"
Your eyes widen, taken aback by the directness of his inquiry. "What... Ghost, no. I just didn't think you... I mean, I didn't think you'd enjoy taking pictures."
"As I said before, you don't know me," Ghost retorts, his gaze fixed on you even in the darkness. "You can't see me, right?"
"Correct," you reply, looking down at your phone. "Can I turn on the flashlight?"
Ghost takes the phone from your hand and opens the camera app. Nothing appears on the screen, yet a burst of light momentarily illuminates the room. Ghost, without his mask, gazes directly into the camera, capturing his own image. A profound silence envelops you as he continues to snap a few more pictures. Then, he turns to you, aiming the camera in your direction.
"Try not to look so shocked," Ghost remarks, offering the phone to you. "Come on."
You burst into laughter, unable to contain your surprise and delight, and instinctively cover your face as he captures your joyous expressions. Several minutes pass, filled with lighthearted exchanges and mutual photography, as you find Ghost surprisingly at ease in front of the lens.
"Just for your eyes only," Ghost declares, covering the camera lens. "Make sure no one sees those pictures."
"Yes, Lieutenant," you respond softly, a warm smile gracing your face. "Thank you."
Before you can finish your sentence, Ghost rises from the bed and opens the door, slipping his mask back on. He glances back at you, knowing you're unaware of his presence, a small smile playing on his lips. Gratitude fills your voice as you express your appreciation for the captured moments, unaware of Ghost's lingering presence.
"Thank you, Simon," you murmur softly, placing your phone down. "For the pictures."
You turn away from the door and settle into your bed, your back turned to Ghost. In the darkness, Ghost's gaze remains fixed on you, his thoughts veiled behind the mask.
"No... thank you," Simon whispers, his voice barely audible. "For... the pictures." 
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creepy-friday · 1 year
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Ok ok hear me out 👀
What if, instead of fem! Proxy, we got a fem! Human maid 👀👀👀
Like the Slenderman chose her to take care of the mansions needs such as: cleanliness, general functioning (like electrical management, house repair, etc...), food management, etc...
But she isn't a demon nor proxy, but a human dragged into this life (The Operator is a cruel silly guy)
The Proxies have to watch over her so other residents don't mess with her, and also so she doesn't run away.
THE POWER DYNAMIC WOULD BE THROUGH THE ROOF 😭
YOU'RE BACK<3 this prompt is interesting ngl👀👀 I included more characters for the spice
Creepypasta x Maid!Reader
Characters Included: Proxy focused
Warnings: suggestive/NSFW themes,non-con/dub-con mentions,violence,misogyny,drugs and mental illness references
The difference between the power dynamics between you and the other residents are catastrophically huge
Once Slenderman took you in,he made sure that you understand what your role is from the start.It was a cruel time for him to make the decision to bring an innocent human in a manor full of deranged people,but in his mind he took the right decision
The first sick people who viewed you as a fuck toy would be Masky and Jeff
Since you're in the care of proxies,you are somwhat lucky,the others would mostly keep their hands to themselves
Maybe except Ben who has no restrictions by being a literal ghost,so I can totally see him messing with you for a while
The fact that you are a maid might give the others the opportunity to discover a new kink btw
Masky would slap your ass as you clean the windows "good job,get that body moving"
He's a whiny little bitch.He would scream at you if you missed a spot,if you were late to cook dinner by a minute or if he simply needs your assistance with whatever bullshit he makes up
He even called you to prepare him a bath and harassed you in the bathroom,even threating to drown you for his sick entertainment
The way you look up to him makes his dick hard,he doesn't care if the others find gross that he gets off on the power imbalance,he feels good about it
The only good thing he does is not letting the others fuck with you it doesn't apply to Hoodie
Sure,he might threaten to punish you by letting Jeff has his way with you,but we all know his pride won't let him to let you get fucked by another man yeah,once more,it doesn't apply to Hoodie
Right after a bloody mission he would bring you to his room and make you suck him off "How's it feel to have the dirty work done?Right where you belong"
Washing the blood off of their clothes it's a nightmare.Sometimes,the white masked man would try to scare you by saying all the messed up things he did to get them this red
Toby was happy he can look after a girl ngl.After seeing how scared and lost you are,he decided to make himself your safe space
But even then,he saw you as an opportunity to break himself into,it was a selfish tought,but he really craved to be your "knight in shining armor"
He actually started to stand his ground whenever Masky would start to harass him in front of you,and even if he would get beat up and would shame retreat in his shell for a few days,this boy doesn't give up
I can see him letting you escape in the forest if you pull the right strings,but the fear of what Slenderman would do to both yourself and him made Toby to get you back crying
INSTEAD,he goes on walks with you in the forest whenever you are free,just to give you that false sense of freedom
Even if it's just your job to clean,cook and do household chores,he views them as more intimate and might get romantic feelings towards you he has no self respect
Hoodie would play a lot of mind games with you,sometimes he would make you think he's your ally,sometimes he would give the impression that he's just another wolf from the hungry pack
He actually let you run free in the forest for a few minutes and waited for you to get your hopes up until he would show up from behind and get you back
"Gothca" he said,tackling you to the ground as one of his hands rested on your waist and the other one on the back of your head "let's get you back,shall we?awwwh,don't cry now,you know I wouldn't hurt you!Now I can't say the same about the others if they knew you got this far..so let's keep this between the two of us,what do ya' say?"
The son of a bitch would also blackmail you into having sex with him so that he can "protect you" or so that "he wouldn't snitch about your plans of running away"
Even if your plans would be top tier,he would know about them and would make sure to tear them down as slow as the light in your eyes fade away
If you're feisty he wouldn't feel the need to fight with you,but would rather keep him interested into bringing you down
But if you're on the docile side he would still take it as a challenge to himself,to see in how much time he can make you his loyal puppy
The manor is huge,four floors with large windows where a lot of dust piles up,especially on the inhibited last floor where The Operator works
I can see Masky making you work naked at a busy hour of the day, just for his fucked up entertainment,throwing some nasty comments while burning cigarette buts on your soft skin
EJ would watch from a distance,mercy and guilt piling up in his chest.Altough he doesn't see you as prey,he would certainly think of you as a safe resort to call when his heats/bloodlust appears
Jane would nod her head and advert her eyes,often even asking you if you're okay,just trying to make you feel..a little cared for
Natalie would argue a lot about you with Masky,but after all she's just a resident and Tim is still a proxy at the end of the day.She can't do anything about it.
All in all,your life in the mansion would be assured to be a long one,and depending on your behaviour you can make it a less traumatizing pressuring experience
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reve-writes · 1 year
Text
—why are you at the wake? [2]; leon kennedy.
ʚ leon kennedy x reader | resident evil | 2,4k words. ʚ chapter one. | he wishes he can hate you, but when push comes to shove, he can't help but come to your aid anyway. ʚ non-canon timeline, loosely based on leon's mission to save ashley but most of the details are made-up; injuries; violence; profanity; reader is morally grey (?); suicidal ideation. ʚ a/n long notes from me at the end if you want to read through it.
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“We can rest up here. Wait for evac.”
Leon closes the door behind Ashley after she enters. The room is not too big—enough to have space for himself, but also small enough for him to keep an eye on the President's daughter. There are windows for quick escape, covered by grimy curtains that shield them from view, just in case any infected villagers wander this far out.
“Are we safe, Leon?”
The blond girl is shivering. The two of them are drenched from head-to-toe. The rain outside doesn't look like it's letting up anytime soon, too. They're alive. A little cold, but alive. That's all that matters to Leon for now.
“Yeah. We're fine.”
A beat barely passes after he finishes reassuring her when the door swings open with a hard thud. Ashley lets out a startled shriek. Leon has his handgun ready and aimed at the figure stumbling inside. He curses under his breath, already standing to shield Ashley from the doorway.
You slump forward to the floor, the door closes behind you with a quiet click. Breathing heavily, you look up, thinking that you've stepped one foot into death's door. Maybe you've chosen the wrong house. Maybe you've stumbled into a hostile and they're ready to hack you down with an axe.
You blink the rainwater out of your eyes. It doesn't take longer than a second for you to recognise him.
Your posture loosens, shoulders slumping as you heave against the door. Your pistol clatters from your hand, freeing it to push against the blooming red wound on your side.
“Hey,” you stutter out, breathing still very laboured, but you try to sound casual, as if you're not potentially bleeding out to death on some filthy hardwood floor. “Just—give me a second. I'll get out of your hair.”
“Who are you?”
You don't recognise the girl. You assume she's his mission.
“It's okay,” Leon answers for you. His gun is returned to its holster. “We know each other.”
Know is an understatement. You know each other, yes, but also so much more than that. You know the brand of shampoo he has in his bathroom. He knows how you like to take your beverage. You cut the bread crust from his toast for breakfast. He lets you take the olives from his dish because you love them. You haven't eaten an olive in years because it reminds you of him.
“Co-worker?” the girl asks.
“Was.”
Past tense.
“Hi.” You wave meekly towards the girl and tell her your name. She tells you to call her Ashley. You dart your eyes to Leon. Even though he's silent, you can sense the anticipation in his pose, as if he's expecting you to just go and shoot Ashley the way you did to Tracy.
Sighing, you kick your pistol towards him. It skids surprisingly smoothly over the floor, landing just beside his boots. “Calm down, Leon. I don't intend to kill her.”
He stares at the pistol for a second, recognising the carving along its grip. Your initials. He remembers being the one who scratched them into the wooden material. His glare returns to you.
You're a walking contradiction. You left him back then, bid him farewell so coldly without much of an explanation. There was so much blood. The blood of the one he was supposed to protect—the two of you were supposed to protect. He didn't understand until he was told that your loyalty had defected.
He still doesn't understand why you changed your mind as easy as turning the palms of your hand. Doesn't understand why you abandoned him. It frustrates him. That frustration bears fruits of anger. The anger burns with so much hatred for you.
He realises that he, too, is a walking contradiction. He hates you for what you've done. He hates you for what you didn't do. The hatred grows everyday, but it grows along with the longing to see you again. It tries and fails to grow over all the love he has for you. All the love he doesn't know where to put now.
“Do you have a death wish?” Leon sneers. “I told you to stay away. You can't help yourself, can you? Always so stubborn.”
Ashley looks taken aback by the hostility. For all the time she's known him, he has been nothing but kind. A reassuring presence.
“If I had known you were in here,” you hissed. “I wouldn't have entered. Believe me, I'm not purposely trying to seek out the person who wants me dead.”
You inhale, tightening your jacket around you. “I'll take my leave.”
“That's what's best for the both of us.”
You push yourself off the ground, despite the tremble in your legs. A surge of light-headedness wash over you and you fall, barely catching yourself with your hands. Leon doesn't even think before he surges towards you, already placing a hand on your shoulders. His eyebrows knit together.
“Fuck,” you curse, swallowing hard. Your face is blanched. You clench your eyes shut in an attempt to recenter yourself.
“What's wrong?” His voice is gentle. His eyes scan over you to analyse the situation. “Dammit, ___. What's wrong?”
“Fine,” you breathe out, biting your lip. “Nothing's wrong.”
“Something is clearly fucking wrong,” he mutters, tugging on your jacket, noticing the unmistakable slick red of blood. “Jesus, ___. What happened?”
You lean back against the door, letting him tug the jacket off of you. You huff out a laugh. “You used to ask before taking my clothes off.”
He doesn't laugh. Not even a snicker. “What happened? — Ashley, can you find any medical supplies?”
Ashley immediately starts moving around the room, pulling out drawers haphazardly.
“Come on, it was funny.”
He says your name with a heavy emphasis. “I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong.”
“You don't want to help me, Leon,” you sigh out. “I killed Tracy, remember?”
This is pathetic. You've accepted your death way before it happens. Maybe, years ago, you would be more willing to put up a fight, struggle like hell for just one more day. But you're tired. So fucking exhausted of the missions and the guilt slowly eats you alive.
Leon pushes up your shirt slightly, trying to locate the source of the wound. He's so angry at you for giving up that his hands shake. He's biting down on his teeth so hard his jaw is starting to hurt. You can't die. He won't let you, even when you're so willing to walk yourself to your grave. He won't let that happen. He can't.
What will he do with all this hatred then? All this love?
His hand is smeared with your blood when he places them under your chin, turning your face towards him.
“Tell me what happened right now.” His eyes frantically search your face. “Or — or I'll never forgive you. Not if you die right here, right now. I won't ever forgive you.”
His voice shakes. He's making a demand but it comes out as a desperate plea instead. Ashley kneels beside you, setting down a tin box cramped with medicines and first-aid supplies.
You let out a scoff. “You of all people know I deserve to die right here, right now.”
“Stop wasting time, ___.” He's begging now. Panic sinks into his bones as all the colour drains drom your face. “Let me — You have to let me save you. I can't—”
His vision blurs. He takes a deep breath and blink the pooling tears away. “Please.”
Stop. You want to yell at him. If anyone should be pleading for anything, it was you. With your heart in your throat, you whisper, “Okay.”
“Okay,” he clears his throat. “Okay, what's the damage?”
“Knife,” you wheeze out. “A cut, I think, on my side. There — Stop looking at me like that. It's not as bad as it looks. I've just been bleeding out for a while, trying to get away.”
He's capable. It's not a handful of times he's ever had to patch himself or you up from various injuries. His hand works swiftly, disinfecting and suturing the laceration, ignoring your little quips and sounds of protest. He keeps his focus, even when everything feels so unsteady around him.
It's not until your wound is dressed in bandages and the bleeding ceases that he lets out a relieved sigh. The tension in his shoulders melts away.
“You really do have a death wish.”
One corner of your lips quirks up. “You have no idea.”
“Don't die, ____. Let me hate you in peace. You owe me at least this much.”
“You can still do that when I'm six feet under.”
“I can't do that, so” —his jaw tenses— “don't die.”
You only hum in response.
“I mean it.”
You roll your eyes, biting back a smile. “I'll try not to.”
He moves around the room, gathering blankets and cushions to bring towards where you're seated. He's unsure if he can move you without reopening your wound and he doesn't want to risk it. Not when you've lost so much blood. The silence stretches long, accompanied by the constant pitter-patter of the rain splattering on the roof over your head.
“Where's Ashley?”
“Other room,” Leon replies. “She looked like she was going to throw up.”
“Understandable.”
It's silent againt. He props a pillow behind you and spreads a blanket over you. You scrunch your nose.
“Smells like shit.”
“Half the smell is your fault.”
You roll your eyes, trying to focus in the earthy soaked-dirt scent the rain brings instead of the metallic tang left behind or the stench of the old blanket covering you.
“Thank you, Leon.”
“Why did you do it?”
He blurts the question out as you're expressing your gratitude. The room is quiet enough that you still catch his question. His gaze falters, moving to scan over the wall to your right instead of directly looking at you.
“Does it matter?” You ask, tasting bitterness on your tongue. “The reason doesn't change the fact that I still did it.”
“That's the thing.” Leon walks over to where your gun lies on the floor to pick it up. “It doesn't seem like you want to do it. Hell, if there's one damn thing I know, it's that you cared for her. So, help me understand this. Why did you do it?”
His thumb traces over the wooden grip, turning the pistol over in his hand as he walks up to you. He stops at the ridges of your initials, turning to look at you questioningly.
You gulp. “It's — It's the same one.”
The same one he gave you all those years ago. The same one that got you out of Raccoon City. The same one you kept using mission after mission since then.
“This is what I mean.” Leon sets the pistol down by you, taking his place to sit next to you, facing you. “If it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't have kept this.”
Your throat feels dry.
“I keep running it over in my head, trying to pick out what's real and what's fake,” he admits, grabbing your hand in his. His calloused fingers rub over your hand, “and I can't. Everything feels real.”
Because it is real. Can you tell him, though? You don't want to put that on him—the burden of someone's life.
“From Raccoon City. Then, everything that we were after that up until—” He lets it hang in the air. Your ultimate betrayal. “You can't tell me everything was a fucking act and expect me to believe it.”
You want to reach out, desperate to smooth the creases on his forehead, brush your thumb over the plump of his lips. He's so close—the closest he's ever been in the past five years.
He's not stupid. You know he's not. He knows none of this adds up. You were with him for over a year since your faithful meeting in Raccoon City. You were recruited by the government together. You survived together. You even—
It was never official, but you had something. He had told you he loved you and you had said it back.
Then, you left. You said you were working for someone else. Always had the whole time. It didn't make sense.
“They made me choose.”
Your answer comes after a long silence. Too long that Leon has already given up and gotten lost in his own head. He's not sure if he's hearing you correctly, not sure if you've even spoken in the first place. He blinks, searching your eyes.
You clear your throat. “Either they kill you or i kill her.”
“What are they going to do? Huh?” He scoffs. “I would've been able to—”
“That's not a risk I wanted to take,” you retort. “You're capable, yes, but you can't expect me to gamble on your life.”
“You shouldn't have made that choice for me,” he snaps, swallowing harshly. “She died because you were a coward.”
“Yes.”
“Her death is on me, too.”
“I pulled the trigger.” You're reliving it now and it does nothing but worsen your headache. “It's on me.”
There's no taking it back now. You'll have to tell him the whole truth and so you did. How your employer 'recruited' you as you were escorting Tracy Miller, how they threatened your life, and when it didn't work, they threatened his instead. You've been stuck working with them since. Being labelled a traitor by the government. It's not ss if you have much of a choice.
You're blinking away tears as you close out your explanation. “They sent me here to investigate whatever's happening here. I didn't know you were here until I landed. If I'd known—”
His attentiveness spurs you on as you're stringing sentence after sentence together frantically, spilling out everything that has gone unsaid the past five years.
“Do you regret it?” He asks after a beat of silence passes.
“Every single day, but I would make the same choice again.”
He sighs. “We were a team, you know. Maybe we could have done something if you had talked to me.”
You bite your lip. “I'm sorry.”
“I know you are.” He tilts your chin up towards him. “Just don't ever do that again. Don't put my life above anyone else's.”
You pull back, turning away from his gaze. “I'll try.”
He grabs your hand. “It's okay. It'll be okay. Let's just — leave this all behind, yeah?”
Your eyes widen, some of the weight on your shoulders suddenly sloughing off. “What are you saying?”
“We should go. Somewhere Asia, maybe? Disappear from this mess,” he says it with too much certainty. It sounds easier than it actually is. “Leave this all to rot. It'll just be us.”
“Can we?”
He nods resolutely.
[ ]
i'm the first to admit there are so many plotholes in this fic and the timeline is confusing, but basically: raccoon city incident > one year into government recruitment is when reader's forcefully recruited & ordered to kill tracy > for 5 years after that. reader works for the same people who recruited them still. > six years since raccoon city, reader crosses path with leon (who's trying to save ashley graham). reader met leon during raccoon city incident and they were inseparable ever since, becoming lovers. also obviously sherry isn't really a part of this bc leon joined the secret agent to protect her. the ending won't work if she exists. ive been sitting on this for a couple of days because i don't know how to properly end fics?? i imagine reader and leon packing things up (after getting ashley home) for a rural town far far away from all the resident evil chaos, living their best domestic life, trying to heal themselves from their past. i realise i shouldve planned this better because having the reader murder someone is SUPER HARD to justify when writing this part. i wrote myself into a corner. i kept thinking that there's no way in hell reader would get forgiveness??? the titles for the two part are taken from taylor swift's my tears ricochet. it's an angsty song about betrayal. that's it from me. thank you for reading!
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