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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

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Chapter 105.5 Thoughts: Control, Manipulation and Partnership

Or, how Chuuya is actually the most qualified character to land a victory over Dostoevsky.

I just want to preface this with: I think Chuuya has woken from the brainwashing. We can't see his eyes, he's holding his hat again, and look at the progression of his face and expression from the last few chapters with him (these are in order btw from left to right).

I'm not completely sure how he did this, but I chalk a lot of it up to sheer stubborn determination on Chuuya's part, mostly because it's funny and he was clearly fighting back before Dazai's speech. However, I find it likely the speech did contain some kind of code - others have pointed out how "Goodbye!" might be a reference to the original author's last unfinished book and we know skk's codenames for things generally are based off their real counterparts' works so, maybe he'd already broken out of it, maybe there was something in there that gave him the final push - who knows at this point honestly? Either way, it means Chuuya had the capacity to break out of the vampire curse on his own and that's incredibly funny to me for many reasons but mostly:

Fyodor: "Bold of you to assume Chuuya's ability can't overcome flooding."

Dazai: "Bold of you to assume Chuuya's personality can't overcome brainwashing."

But really, this highlights something interesting here, both in what Chuuya's role is ultimately intended to be in this arc, and in the way Fyodor and Dazai manipulate and value others in very different ways.

I've said it before but it bears repeating: we already know that Fyodor is an excellent long-term planner, while Dazai is effectively able to counter him because Dazai shifts into thinking like his opponent. They're foil characters for a reason; they're both highly intelligent, manipulative, and willing to play the long game for the sake of winning against their opponent.

Thing is, I also stand by the idea that personality-wise, they're not similar at all - and that has serious implications for the people they are connected with. The build-up to the prison escape arc really highlights this. Some examples:

Chapter 46: Fyodor believes that all people are sinful and foolish and that his goal is to remove sin. Dazai believes that all people are sinful and foolish but asks what's so wrong with that.

Chapter 64: They decide to have a "super-happy chit-chat" about their problems. Dazai's solution to Fyodor's issue with his lazy subordinates is to get them to think lazing around is a bad thing so they will put in effort of their own. Fyodor's solution to Dazai being unable to woo the waitress is to isolate her from her job, house and family so that she can only rely on Dazai.

Chapter 77: Fyodor believes god is perfection and harmony, and thus that the people capable of change are the superior ones with most control. Dazai believes god is the accidental and illogical and believes it is the ordinary people who fight and live in that uncertainty who create the greatest change.

So, what's happening here? Fyodor's manipulation is shown to be very exacting and direct. He leaves no room for error and regards people on a hierarchy - God above all, himself as a servant of God's will, and the sinful and foolish humans he has little regard for. Dazai's manipulation involves manipulation of the situation, and is often indirect. It involves people coming to the conclusion he intends for them to on their own. And from his later dialogue with Sigma, we see he doesn't regard the world in that same kind of hierarchy.

Now, look at the way Fyodor picks an item and Dazai picks a person when starting the game. Look at the way Fyodor refers to Chuuya respectfully but brainwashes him entirely and mocks Dazai for not being worthy of "using" his ability. Look at the way Dazai is a complete ass to Chuuya but ultimately lets him make his own choices (begging people to take note of that moment in Stormbringer where Dazai cuts himself off to correct his referring to Corruption as Arahabaki's true power to Chuuya's true power).

So, the actual strength Dazai has over Dostoevsky then, is not really his strength at all, it's the strength of others and their choice and willpower to act in the way they believe is best. It's the only means of getting a leg up on Dostoevsky, otherwise they will continue to go around and around in circles forever.

And Chuuya is the best candidate for finally throwing Fyodor off his game.

Firstly, let's just establish something: no matter how mad he is at Dazai, he's not going to side with Fyodor, not willingly. Fyodor threatened the Mafia in the Cannibalism arc by attacking Mori, first of all. I doubt he's forgiven him for that. Secondly, Fyodor embodies everything Chuuya can't stand about Dazai, at the very least, younger Dazai - the manipulation, the lack of consideration and connection with others, the callousness and lack of regard for life.

Well, perhaps he's not quite as irritating. +1 point for Dostoevsky I guess?

But lastly, it is more advantageous for Chuuya at this point to help fight against Fyodor, especially since most of the Mafia has been vampirized by his organization. Helping the Agency stop the terrorist plot will help the Mafia by extension by undoing that. And we know from Stormbringer that no matter how much Chuuya is personally hurt, he considers taking out the threat to his people a higher priority. Always.

(You could make the argument that he was told whatever Teruko told Atsushi and decided to join, but not only do I find this wildly out of character, but if that was the case then there would've been no reason to brainwash him.)

That said, I don't think this was preemptive "Dazai's master plan #3057", and in fact, I stand by the idea that Dazai had no idea Chuuya was going to be in the prison. It is very, very important to me that for the rest of this arc, no matter what Chuuya does, that his actions are his own. Not Fyodor's, not Dazai's, but his. And not just because I hate that he's being controlled right now and that freedom of choice has always been important for Chuuya.

But because it makes narrative sense.

The vampires are a bit silly, yes, but they represent the way Fyodor and Fukuchi think - humanity will commit atrocities. They cannot be trusted to make their own decisions. They want to make a world that is free by... mind-controlling people so their plans work without a hitch. In short, they choose, on behalf of others, to sacrifice human autonomy for peace. So, if we are going to turn this arc around, we need to have characters breaking out of that control and thinking for themselves, in spite of the uncertainty of the outcome.

We already see this with Atsushi in the last chapter! He finally takes initiative and makes that choice to leave the room when he doesn't exactly know what the right thing to do is. And this is also why I don't think Teruko is wholly convinced by the DoA either - she lets him go. She gives him the freedom to choose what he does with that information.

Another one of the focus characters here is Sigma. Sigma is a guy who has no past, whose humanity is questioned, who keeps being used by organizations for his valuable ability, who has no home but desperately wants one... oh wait. Remind you of anyone's younger self? This could go one of two ways: Chuuya fails to assert his autonomy, leaving Sigma to learn from that failure, or, Chuuya succeeds in asserting his autonomy, leaving Sigma to learn from his success.

I think it, by necessity, has to be the latter. Sigma's at a tipping point right now, and I think seeing someone try to assert their freedom only to fail would damage him greatly. And I think it's a waste of Chuuya's character honestly.

Chuuya needs to assert his autonomy in this arc. Not just for thematic reasons but because I can think of no one else who can effectively break the "super-genius stalemate".

I keep hearing "Dazai knows Chuuya" in response to Fyodor calling their bond shallow, and that is absolutely true! But Chuuya also knows Dazai. Incredibly well. Odasaku knew Dazai's soul, but Chuuya knows Dazai's mind, knows his strategies and ways of thinking without even needing words. What's more, Chuuya has thrown off Dazai before and done what he didn't expect him to.

Which is nifty, because Dazai and Fyodor think a lot alike. Chuuya is in a unique position to thwart Dostoevsky because he may actually be able to predict him to a degree. Chuuya can absolutely land a victory against him, and it's excellent because it would be completely unexpected to Fyodor, who apparently thinks Chuuya's strength lies only in what his ability has to offer and not much else.

But listen. This also can't be skk's plan. I need Chuuya to sideline both of them. Both for the sweet, sweet catharsis of putting those two idiot geniuses in their places and also because I need Dazai to have screwed up. He wasn't wrong about people making their own choices in uncertainty. People need to assert their autonomy to create change. Dazai can't be wrong in this regard.

But with going ahead with the trap to drown Fyodor despite also having to drown Chuuya when he promised not to let him get killed... this needs to have been a mistake, otherwise the value of Dazai's emotional speech to him is diminished.

I want Dazai to try to laugh it off. I want him to say he always knew Chuuya would escape and then for Chuuya to deck him because "no, the fuck you didn't".

I really think Dazai hoped Chuuya would make it. Do remember that Chuuya was one of the first reasons young Dazai decided to try giving life a chance. The fact that he flashbacked to all his key memories with Chuuya says a lot. But his survival was no guarantee and it seemed very unlikely.

So, Chuuya is faced with the fact that Dazai nearly sacrificed him to kill Dostoevsky and save his new Agency friends.

And I hope he finally gets mad. I hope he finally expresses hurt on his own behalf for once. I hope they are forced to break their status quo that they have carefully maintained by not talking about anything ever. I hope they are pushed to uncomfortable places and that it is Chuuya who finally spurs this development.

Let Chuuya break the stalemate between Dazai and Dostoevsky. Let him shatter the status quo that him and Dazai have kept going for year after year.

Autonomous action in the face of uncertainty is necessary for change.

#am i assigning too much narrative importance in the main manga to chuuya? perhaps #will i stop? no #unfortunately this meta doesn't include gogol which is an oversight because he absolutely has to play a role as well #i'm just not quite sure what yet. same as chuuya i suppose #either gogol asserts his autonomy or he... fails. yeah. either he gets dostoevsky killed or... he fails.#i just don't know where he fits in with everyone else is the thing #listen though. it is significant that gogol decided not to play his dying role in the doa's plan though.#gogol is the free spirit of the doa and yet he's closer to sigma and bram in terms of how he is more controlled than controller #anyways sorry this is so long. just my two cents on the matter #bsd #bsd spoilers #bsd chapter 105.5 #bsd chuuya #bsd fyodor #bsd dazai #bsd sigma #bsd meta #i don't even know if this makes sense anymore. here.#storyrambles

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jade-of-mourning · 2 months

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sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

#lychee's brain trash #mako lok #mako tlok #sorry for the shitpost i don't do a lot of those i realize #how tf did this guy not had a massive break down in canon at any point #nd like;; he never shows resentment for the unfairness of it all #he doesn't ever use his past to excuse any of his choices/actions that are influenced by it #which is pretty intrinsically linked to his relationship fumbles #he just quietly holds himself accountable and probably mildly despises himself haha #as much as i don't care for the love triangle it really does make complete sense in accordance to his backstory #anyway this is just a roundabout way of me expressing my salt at people writing him off as a malicious asshole lol #i literally cannot articulate the intense complex things his conjured up existence makes me feel #this does not even scratch the surface there is SO MUCH #i need to actually write the fifty fics that exist to my brain otherwise all these thoughts will never see the sun #trust that one day the avatar!mako au will emerge from my drafts;;;#and. you know. that one shot i've had in wip for the past 2.5 years #and the four other oneshots that will probably never be converted into actual words

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hopeswriting · 5 months

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was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr meta #can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol #yamamoto takeshi #sawada tsunayoshi #i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense #also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition #it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most #which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027 #and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying #like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100%#he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way #also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/#they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference #and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark #because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive #and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know?#so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong #but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3 #anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence #even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it #it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point #and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3

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accidentallyatekneecaps · 10 months

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Everyone at pk thinks saiki is chronically ill (which is true but he deny it cause he thinks he can't be since he's almost a God)

They first thought this when he passed out during the sports festival but most of his friends kinda thought so before since he's always been so stoic and barely left the house.

This is me projecting but I think it's also in character

But saiki hates when people try to be soft on him for thinking he's just an fragile ill kid, he doesn't say anything but he just sits there feeling really mad because of it

#Sorry some of this doesn't make much sense my brain isn't working today #me projecting on saiki time again #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #kusou saiki #saiki kusuo #I may write a bunch of hc about this cause my brain is so full with thoughts about saiki k and I need it out now

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wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt · 3 months

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This is more a self analysis than a House one, just FYI. But I think it's interesting that I want House and Wilson to die together in the end. With almost every other fandom, I will fight tooth and nail over the idea that my ship somehow survives. Like with Hannibal, for example, yes, it's been confirmed they survived the fall, but even if it wasn't, I would still die on that hill. Because I can not accept that their story just... stops. It would be so incomplete. On one hand, I see how it could be a poetic ending for them, I really do. In fact, contrary to what most people feel like, I'm happy with the show ending where it did and relying on fanfiction to finish their story. But I have never accepted the fact that they died. They just didn't. Another example would be Brokeback Mountain. I can accept they die in canon and how it's important to the story, but I prefer fanfiction that revolves around them both surviving. Because while I can accept that they die, I don't like it. With House... not only can I accept that Wilson and House (in my mind) die, but I prefer that ending. I don't necessarily even like fanfiction that follows the canon story and then has them both miraculously live. I think their ending is so fitting, I think it's perfect for them. I can't imagine House going on after Wilson is dying, and I feel like while the situation where Wilson dies from cancer is ironic and depressing, I think it's perfect. House faking his death to spend their last 5 months together and then dying with each other, I think it's the best way they could go. I love the ending. Everybody has to die sometime, and I feel like that was the perfect situation.

#Sorry this is a ramble it doesn't make much sense but its been in my drafts for like half a year so #My grammar and punctuation are horrendous but I'm to lazy to go back and fix it all so rip i guess #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #housemd #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #clearing out my drafts

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makabray · 2 months

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some postal dude gender headcanons since someone was interested hehe (i'm mostly talking about p2 here, but these could apply to any of the dudes probably)

trans postal dude is really fascinating to me cause i think he'd be quite a different character from a lot of modern trans rep. like, dude is a (relatively) older guy from from rural arizona, who was likely raised in a fairly conservative and religious household, so i think it's safe to assume that he wouldn't have access to much of the resources or terminology that we have now. growing up, he might've known a little about queer people from word of mouth and the few magazine articles he could find on the topic, but for the most part it was a lot of figuring things out on his own.

his adolescent years were really messy and all over the place, he definitely did a lot of experimentation during that time. a lot of sneaking out of his parent's house after dark to hang out in the back alleys with the other weirdos like him. during this time he was still closeted and figuring things, i don't think he really started presenting and identifying as a guy until his mid 20s when he moved away from his parents, and even then he had to go stealth. though keep in mind that's he's a broke bastard living in the middle of nowhere, so he had to DIY a lot of shit.

surgery of any kind is not an option, so that meant he had to work with what little he had. fortunately for him, he's able to pass fairly well with a sports bra, some rolled up socks, and baggy clothes. it's why he almost never takes off that huge trench coat he's always wearing, aside from it just generally being a source of comfort and pride for him. he also started taking hormones when he moved away from his parents, which i like to think uncle dave helped him acquire (albeit through dubiously legal means).

so maybe dude wouldn't make for "good" trans rep, but he's alive and himself against all odds and that's what i love about this headcanon

for dude, transitioning has its ups and downs. on one hand it's incredibly liberating to dress and act and be the way you've always wanted to, but on the other hand it can be quite lonely and difficult too. dude already has to constantly keep his guard up, constantly be vigilant of the people around him and how he's being perceived, but being one of the few queer people in a small town compounds that even further. plus i imagine that he probably has a lot of complicated feelings about his gender and sexuality that he doesn't really know what to do with on account of being really repressed and all that.

#postal #maka mumbles #i have more thoughts but this is getting really long so i'm gonna end it here #i have many hcs but this is one of my favs #it brings me a great deal of comfort as a queer person who spent a large portion of their life in the conservative south #i also have some art related to this hc i wanna clean up and post sometime... maybe Soon #SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE BTW its late and my brain is kinda scrambled #anyways. yea. i'll stop rambling now

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mayhasopinions · 1 year

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This image pretty much encapsulates everything I love about Huntlow.

Hunter and Willow are both damaged and troubled people, it's clear. But they don't rely on anyone too much, they're both independant people at heart. They don't want to burden anyone with their problems, or act like something's wrong. They want to present themselves in a way that makes them appear strong and confident (with Hunter and his GG arc and Willow with pretty much her whole arc) that ends up harming their mental wellbeing as a result, as they don't want their true insecurities and weaknesses to be brought to the light. However, when they meet in the middle, they finally meet someone who gets it. And they help each other. Comfort each other. Lift each other up. Lean on each other. They are not co-dependant, but they are prominent driving factors in each other's arcs.

This is why this image is so important to Huntlow. You can see their scars and bruises from the battles they have fought, and came out of them alive. And no, they don't fully hold hands, they don't fully depend on each other. But they hold pinkies, as a steady reminder that they are there for each other, that they get each other, that they love each other. It's a comforting "i'm here" finger hold. Before, they would not have reached out to anyone like that, they would have dealt with their own scars and bruises and problems. But with the influence of the other, they managed to finally reach out.

Lumity is definately the best ship in TOH, but Huntlow is my personal favorite for those reasons.

#sorry about my ramblings this probably doesn't make sense lol #i just love my goofy goobers so much in all of their vauge symbolism #huntlow antis dni <3 #huntlow #for the future #thanks to them #watching and dreaming #analysis #toh season 3 #toh spoilers (?)#hunter toh #willow park #willow toh #winter toh #huntlow analysis

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faceeeeee · 5 months

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I love hearing about ppls Ocs :3

Behold- the main cast of assholes and dumbasses! I finally remade their reference sheets (keep in mind that these guys are part of the main cast so I've still got some other ocs, some plot relevant, others not so much)

To keep it brief, here's a summary (plot twist, I did not keep it brief):

In a hypothetical reconstruction of the earth where there is a huge ass continent and some other medium and small ones in a secluded corner, you've got regular human civilization living out their regular life in these small portions of land . All of the territory (except for the big ass continent) is controlled managed by a company known as "P.C.P" (Provide, create, protect. Creative, I know) which is basically the puppeteer of all of society. It's presented as the one that will install order and peace throughout the world by keeping every single little thing in check. They've got tech, they've got the military, they've got the most renowned scientist in the fields of chemistry, biology, physics...you name it...and they've got political control. The C.E.O of this wonderful company is our dear old gal Evelyn! She rose to the ranks cause of....plot reasons (dunno if that would be considered spoilers...) and is the reason all of this shit happens in the first place :) well... it's a mix really of who's at fault (get it? Cause the name of the series is "At fault"?..... I'll see myself out).

Aaanyway, then enters John, a middle-aged man that works in the robotics department of the company that has successfully ascended and has gotten a bonus! How nice :) well he fucks up on day one by stumbling upon some of the companies secrets regarding the big ass continent and is subsequently found out. How does Evelyn react to this? She kills his wife and young daughter OOPSIES. she also sent her workers/police forces to kill him as well but he escapes. Still in shock he hides on a garbage ship in the hopes of getting anywhere else besides P.C.P territory and it basically dumps him into the big ass continent. He wakes up and discovers that the big ass continent has a huge abandoned city filled with vegetation and wacky mutated creatures with varying levels of danger :). Here enter our two other guys: BRK9 or "Berry" is the huge robot dude that was basically abandoned in this unknown territory and is later found and fixed by John to act as his security guard (John is basically preeeetty paranoid at this point and is still in shock and has not registered that his only family's dead). And what do we have here? Berry's sentient and is really fucking annoying to John? Oopsie daisy! Welp, now these two wander around the place and find an annoying fucking furry K!!! (Yes K. Her name is a literal letter don't say anything SHUT UP-). When they first met she basically tried to eat John and kill berry but berry ends up decapitating her.......

But, to John's dismay, K's inmortal!....kinda. She can regenerate any part of her body but she can die of old age or you could just blow her up till there's no piece of flesh left for her to regenerate from. So their whole dynamic is basically grumpy old traumatized man who now wants revenge, an insecure robot that masks their fears with a confident front and is obsessed with his dad (John hates that he calls him that) and a psychotic anthropomorphic lizard that's really fkn stupid and barbaric.

And to answer "What was Evelyn trying to hide?"... she's basically the reason that K exists in the first place and is trying to take control of this deserted continent by sending more and more troops to take over. What's stopping her? The vast amount of mutated things that are constantly killing her troops + K (she actually created K in the hopes of using her as a weapon to conquer the place but deemed her as a nuisance and useless and left her to die. But she escaped and got amnesia by destroying her head whilst escaping...)

And above all of this, whilst our main trio kill one of the troops and ambush their station, through a video call with one of the generals, Evelyn sees that the ex-employee that she thought had been taken care of was still alive! AND THE THING THAT SHE HAD GOTTEN RID OF WAS ALSO ALIVE AND KICKING! oh and a random robot.....

#faceee rambles #At Fault series #oooo a tag would you look at that #If this doesn't make sense I'm so sorry #if you want you can ask a REAL summary in the comments or smt....i dunno.....#ANYWAY SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH I'LL BE ON MY WAY BYEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ocs #oc series #original characters

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kaladinkholins · 4 months

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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *

* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)

and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general

but also like.

theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)

so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.

yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.

smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.

#mizu x taigen #taigen x mizu #taimizu #[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other #like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one #i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway #love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety #and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress #LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane #bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all #and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different #idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal #shut up haydar #fandom.rtf

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nelllover · 1 year

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Something about Rory and Jess's dynamic that I don't see people talking about enough is the fact that he is the only bf of her's that was her friend before anything else (now granted both had huge crushes on each other since the start but still!!)

And I think that's why they're the best!

Jess saw her as more than just some pretty girl he saw her as someone that he could spend time with and not get bored and Rory saw him as someone who would finally not just tune her out and nod politely when she went off on a tangent about her interests (especially books).

another aspect of that is showcased in how they act in later seasons (s6 and AYITL) while yes they are exes (who are still in love with each other but don't tell them) they're able to go right back to the same rhythm with easy conversations like nothing happened (now granted that's not totally healthy and they should definitely have a conversation about everything but what do you expect from the king and queen of denial)

There is a reason why by the end of the series the only ex Rory has a good relationship with is Jess (and no not just because they were totally implied endgame) it's because they need each other in their lives so much that they're ok with just having those 'totally 100% platonic moments' (altho there as never been a moment where they haven't been in love with each other)

And I can tell you one thing for sure Jess is the only one who cares about Rory enough to do that you'll never see either Dean or Logan be there for her without a hidden agenda.

#they're best friends to lovers excellence and i stand by that #i thought about this earlier and had to talk about it #sorry if this doesn't make that much sense but I'm feverish right now #anti logan huntzberger #anti dean forester #only putting these tags there bc i'm so tired of their stans coming at me just for saying the truth #nell is obsessed with gilmore girls tag #gilmore girls #literati #rory x jess

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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 years

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Take It Back

Sometimes the names we have don't carry the best memories, they don't bring out the best in us. Steve and Eddie know this all too well, both weighted down by the legacies of their fathers, and it takes them a while to come to terms with the way they feel about their surnames. They both work around them, evade the connection as well as possible, and are determined to build their identities around these rotten spots, not allowing them to spoil more in their lives. The child of a criminal and a child of a cold, widely-hated businessman. What a pair they make.

At one point, they consider changing their surnames. Or moving. Maybe both, anything to escape the unfeeling, ever critical stare of Thomas Harrington and the tainted memory of John Munson. They give it a lot of thought, drink some more than they should, but it's a heavy topic and it requires a heavy dose of liquor. At the end of their discussion, they wobble back from the Hideout, leaning on each other and only stopping here and there to consider the option of throwing up. "You knoo-ow, Steve," hiccups Eddie and the sway of his hips almost has him do a pirouette, "I think I got it. The...grand plan. The mmmmaster plan. Evil. Sssso evil." He looks at Steve from under his heavy-lidded eyes. "Am evil, no?"

"You, Eds," slurs Steve and hugs the street light, "can be anything. Aaanything. So yesh. You can be evil, babe. Go do it. Spread chaos. Fight...someone. Heroes. But not El. El is cool." He looks up at the light bulb and mutters "so pretty" before realizing he's nearly blinding himself.

"I love you. I do. You...support. Me and my viles," Eddie swings around the lamp and crashes into Steve, giggling. "You will be my villain wife. The...blood bank to my Dracula or something. The electricity to my monster." He sways against Steve for a moment, then pointing vaguely behind his shoulder. "You think we can make it to the other lamp? Wanna swwwwing. Around it." He smacks his lips and repeats the word. "Swing. Swwwing. Sounds all whooshy. Like it."

Steve nods solemnly and grabs Eddie's waist. "Let's whoosh. Can you..oh shit, the other leg, didn't we come from there? Who the fuck cares...um. Can you tell me? The masterrrplan?" The last word is a bit slurred, but the next lamp is far away and it takes more than he has to just walk in a slightly squiggly line. Or just walk.

Eddie nods too, although a bit too enthusiastically, and that does it for their fragile balance. It's only thanks to Steve's reflexes that they don't smash into the ground but dive into the nearest grass patch, although the style of the dive leaves something to be desired. "Whoops. Soft," Eddie giggles and squeezes Steve's chest. "My plan, love, is to stay in this shithole. It's devious, I tell you."

Steve blinks and shakes his head, perhaps harder than necessary. "Can you...el...laborate when the moon settles down? It's ssspinny. Spinning...Sleeping beauty? Is the moon spinning the string thingy and falling asleep?"

They lie next to each other on the grass and stare at the moon. "Maybe?" mutters Eddie, his hand tracing circles in the air. "Spinning wheel? Spinning...Wheeler," he giggles and snorts several times, making more and more undignified sounds as he tries to stop himself. "Spinning Wheeler. In the sky. That would be bad."

Steve howls in laughter too and starts hiccuping. "Y-yeah. I mean. Not s-sure which is worse, Nancy seeing ev-verything from there or Mike..." He rubs his head in the grass, his hair slowly becoming more and more like a dryad. "Sorry, you were...yeah. Your master plan?"

"Oh yeah," and Eddie is giggling again, the usual undertones of bitterness smoothed over by their proximity, the smell of freshly cut grass and held hands. The night is quiet, they are alive, they are okay and if they're at a point of their lives when their surnames can actually become a concern instead of, oh wait, the world ending, Eddie will take it. He turns to Steve and nuzzles his forehead into that silly polo shirt. "What do you say to this...we stay. We keep these shitty names. And we make them...ours," he finishes, as if that was the most astute sentence in the history of mankind.

"...Eds, I think I already have mine?" Steve rubs his grass-covered head, leaving green streaks over his eyebrows. "I think..it's on my ID or..."

"Shhhhhh," Eddie presses his finger to Steve's lips and giggles again when Steve starts nibbling on his fingertip. "Not what I mean. Let's stay here and f-fuck them over. Like they fucked us over, but better. Because..." he taps his finger on Steve's lips and teeth, "...we will destroy them. What they mean in this stupid town."

There's a small light in Steve's eyes, or maybe it's just the reflection of the moon. One more kiss to Eddie's index finger and then Steve leans back, making himself comfortable on the grass. "I like it. Erase them."

"That's my big boy with his big words," grins Eddie and ruffles his hair. "Yeah. Let's...let's build something. I'll...open a garage or something. A record store. I don't care. But when that...piece of shit...gets released from prison, he will come back and find out...he doesn't exist here anymore. That Munson means...it means something else." His dark eyes travel to Steve's face, careful. "Is...is that stupid?"

"No," Steve whispers and he suddenly seems sober, gently grasping Eddie's shoulders. "Let's do it. You'll be a...small business owner or something. A honest guy. Your dad will get a heart attack," he snorts. "And I...I want to do something...with my hands. I'm good with my hands, I could do some maintenance stuff or...you know. Just help around the neighborhood. Harrington, the reliable manual worker," he muses, watching the moon again. "My dad will be so...so pissed. I wanna do it. I won't hide as a failure. I will be a proud failure!"

"Right!" Eddie nods and almost falls on Steve's face. "Let's fail the fuckers!"

They burst into laughter again and kiss, once, twice, still not enough. Eventually, Robin finds them collapsed on the lawn, giggling like maniacs. She hides her concern behind a scowl, informs them that this is absolutely NOT why she got a driver's licence, but they seem in such a good mood that she doesn't have it in her heart to yell at them more. She just makes sure they both get into bed safely, but if she's just a little smug when she hears retching sounds in the morning and if Eddie exits their bedroom, a lovely shade of green on his face (both the alcohol and the grass), well, who can blame her.

It's a long road, but they stick to their plan. Eddie starts working in a local garage, partially thanks to Hopper's persuasiveness, and soon his natural talent and hard work earn him a reputation. When people actually come in and ask for him specifically, Eddie's eyes become glassy and he might have to bite his lip to stifle a squeal of joy. Steve talks to Hopper and Wayne, the closest father figures he has, and in the end decides to apply for a job at the Hawkins PD. He is calm, reliable and well-liked, enough to resolve neighborly squabbles without much damage. And if he has the pleasure to meet his father at the station once, complaining about an overgrown bush next to the Harrington residence, he just smiles politely at that face which haunted him for decades, and tells him "I am truly sorry, sir, but they are well within their rights. There is nothing I can do and I would advise you against pursing any sort of...forceful persuasion. Because I will know if that happens and I will be obliged to act in accordance with law. Have a pleasant day." The look on his face makes it all so worth it.

Yes, there are still people who remember the murder charges and the old criminal, the cold-hearted tactics of Harrington senior and the King Steve persona, but there are also those who pat Eddie on the back when he makes sure their old car is able to make a journey across the state lines, there are old ladies who invite Steve over for coffee to share their troubles with neighbors and that's just enough. They finally feel like themselves, their surnames no longer a brand, but something that is purely theirs. Steve always comes home a bit later than Eddie, takes off his shoes and hat and kisses Eddie's shoulder as he heats up their dinner, the smell of oil still on him. "Good evening, Mr. Munson," he whispers into his ear. Eddie just grins, turns around and gives Steve a peck on the lips. "Welcome home, Mr. Harrington."

#ok so the name thing is kinda personal to me #sorry if it doesn't make much sense but it can be really difficult to have a name that is a stigma #and I just want to see Eddie and Steve tackle this in a healthy way #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #jim hopper #strangerthings #stranger things #strangerthingsdrabble #stranger things drabble

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scoliosisgoblin · 10 days

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Which version of Rick is your fav?

it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick

then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick

I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?

#the only reason why Evil is above C-137 and Memory is because #Memory's design is something I don't really like in the style of the show #his fanart makes him look so much cooler but in the show he just looks.. unfinished?#idk it's weird to me. I love him outside of that though #and with C-137. I'M SICK OF HIM LMAO I AM SO SORRY #there are too many fucking episodes dedicated to this man. pushing everyone else aside just to have him yap about his dead wife #I love him so much but there's only so many times we can bring Diane up and not really develop her as a character but rather to boost Rick #and the show is Rick and MORTY yet all I see is Rick 😭😭 don't get me wrong I love this man #I just feel like we know more about Rick than the rest of the family #WHICH IS FINE IF THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR #and if they wanted to go in that direction so be it! it's fine!#I just feel like he needs less screen time or at least balance episodes among the family #cause even the most recent Morty episode is about Rick. it was so frustrating watching it cause it's literally MORTY'S fear hole experience #yet we're watching Morty's head canons about his grandparents #I also hate the narrative they took with Diane. only ever having Rick talk of her or others bring her up #it just doesn't make her a character but rather an extension off of Rick. that's how I'm feeling rn with the family #they're all just there to prop up Rick or something. super annoying #but that's about it. I'm not gonna continue my rant #unless you want me to?#idk if I even made sense but that's all good #rick and morty #rick and morty fandom #rick #memory rick #evil rick #C-137 #Rick Sanchez

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zukkaoru · 3 months

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could you tell me more about why you dislike femskk?

okay disclaimer before i begin: this is not meant to be a dig on every person who enjoys femskk. the biggest reason i don't like it is honestly because it's just not my cup of tea and honestly it really makes no difference to me if other people like it. but beyond that my biggest issues with it are

1. the phenomenon of fans "yuri-ifying" the most popular m/m ship and then using that to prove they like female characters and f/f ships. this is not a bsd-exclusive thing; it happens with stsg too and i don't like femstsg for the same reason. but there's a big difference between actually liking female characters and just genderbending (or even making transfem) the big m/m ship. i literally went to the f/f category in bsd on ao3 the other day looking for fics and about half of them are skk fics instead of fics about like. the actual female characters in bsd. who i was looking for fics of. similarly, there have been some redraw trends going around twitter - specifically the i prefer girls cover redraw - and i have seen. i don't even know how many femskk redraws of that (along with a couple femfyolais and a femrimlaine) but only one redraw with actual female characters from bsd. same with the scene 14 redraw that was going around, and while that one wasn't originally two female characters, i have still seen significantly more femskk (and femsigzai, femsigchuu, femfyolai, etc) than i have ships with even one character who is female in the source material.

and imo this phenomenon is made even worse in the bsd fandom bc so many fans just see bsd as the skk show. so of course they're writing off the actual female characters; they literally don't care about anything besides skk. and obviously i can't do anything to force anyone to care about other characters but like.... bsd has so many other wonderful characters and dynamics (both romantic and platonic) that a good half of the fanbase won't even glance at because they're not skk. i do like skk, but bsd is about so much more than just them. they are, objectively, only one small part of it. like if you only care about skk, then just be outright about it and don't pretend you're "proving" you like female characters and sapphic ships bc you like femskk too

2. of the fans who only like skk and nothing else about bsd, most of them. don't even characterize dazai and chuuya correctly? i think the some of the best skk characterizations i've seen have been from people who actually like other characters and ships too, and some of the worst skk characterization i've seen has come from people who literally don't care about any other ships or characters. this isn't a hard and fast rule obviously but even with 30k skk fics on ao3, i have struggled to find ones that actually feel true to their characters. and the characterization seems to only get worse when it's femskk. if you're just going to turn femdazai and femchuuya into two completely different people, what's the point in it even being skk? why not write k.ousano or h.igugin or even a ship with one canonically female character? if you have to change the core characteristics of both dazai and chuuya... do you even really like them?

3. about femdazai: i actually don't mind the transfem dazai headcanon in general but most fans get her wrong. i made a post about it here but basically so many times i see femdazais that are just. completely unrecognizable as dazai. you can't strip away core aspects of dazai like idk the fact that dazai doesn't show any skin from neck to toe just because you made her a girl. i have seen some femdazai that's good! but i have seen so much that is just fundamentally wrong for dazai's character as a whole. mostly on twitter.

4. about femchuuya: i really truly just don't get femchuuya. i THINK the hype here is probably bc lesbians seem to get attached to chuuya (which. valid. i am also a lesbian chuuya fan.) and so they want to draw a chuuya they can be attracted to (i.e. femchuuya) which like. cool whatever i'm not here to judge. but looking at it from a "would this character actually identify as female" perspective, i don't actually think i can picture that for chuuya. maybe it's just because i so strongly hc them as nonbinary? idk. this one is honestly just a neutral "i don't see that but you do you"

tl;dr: from what i've seen, femskk is often mischaracterized, and genderbending the big m/m ships in a fandom is often a way fans "prove" they like the female characters and f/f ships while not actually caring about anything other than their main m/m ship

#the first point is also why i don't particularly care for fem any m/m ship in any fandom. that's not exclusive to femskk #femskk is just. there is a LOT of it that i see and i would much rather see more art/fics/etc. for the canonically female characters #i don't like k.ousano but i would prefer they have more fics in the bsd f/f tag on ao3 than a ship that. isn't canonically f/f #like it's already hard to find f/f content (and just stuff for female characters in general) in ANY fandom #so to have to filter through not only femskk fics but also other canonically m/m ships made fem #while i'm specifically looking for fics with yosano lucy higuchi lucy louisa margaret gin etc etc is. frustrating #i'm not saying femskk shouldn't be a thing or that they shouldn't be in the f/f tag but #i wish they weren't the number 1 f/f ship in the fandom #i wish there was more of a balance and the canonically female characters got more appreciation from the fandom in general #so anyway this isn't me trying to sway people out of writing/drawing femskk bc i know that's never going to happen #it's just a wish for more bsd fans to appreciate other characters too #also sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense; i had to pause halfway through to go pick up my sister sfdghjkjl #and once again this is not an attack on femskk enjoyers or anyone specific!!! just me having opinions abt the fandom in general #asks #anon asks

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da-proti-toku-grem · 3 months

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Well I'm seeing some people talking about this, and I really don't want to get too much into this kind of things (unless I see someone cross any line, then I will talk), but I have two things to say:

(Also I know the problem is mainly in other platforms but I only actively use tumblr so that's why I'm writing this here. And this is not directed to anyone in specific, I just need to let it out)

First of all, I hope all my posting didn't come out as "speculating" or anything, I just find it fun that they are not giving us too much information before hand, because it's making my mind think about all the different possibilities and I like posting them here. But even so, I am so so excited for the next three chapters, whatever they might be. I honestly didn't know about Damon before all this, but he truly looks like such a wonderful and transparent artist and I'll definitely be looking at more of his work because he's truly amazing. So, whatever he gives us, be it just Kris and Bojan, be it all of them individually, be it any ""ship"" content, or be it something else, I'll take it very gladly.

We will get whatever Damon and the guys want to give us and nothing more. They are showing their vulnerabilities to us (because that's what Damon focuses on), and we as a fandom are not in any place to judge or comment about what would or wouldn't be better for them to do. In fact, we should be greatful that they're showing this side of themselves to us. Of course, we can talk about the different possibilities and what we'd like to see; but that's not the same as saying what they should do.

From my honest point of view (which again, doesn't change whatever they do, and I don't want to either), I would really like to see each one of the guys individually because we barely see them like that. Don't get me wrong, I love them together and their photoshoot as a band always have me screaming, but there'a something so nice about the idea of getting to see them individually (like we already did with Bojan and Kris). And it's not because my faves are coincidentally the other three, but because I want all of them to know that we see them. I want all of them to feel appreciated. I want all of them to know that we love them for who they are. They are a band as a whole, and they themselves have made it clear that no one is more important than the others. Each one of them is different and without them Joker Out doesn't exist, at least how we know them right now.

Second of all, I'm actually really thrilled about what the kissing part might mean, but not in the "I want my ships to come true" kinda way (of course I would be very happy if one (or more) of my ships turned out to be true, but then again if it is actually true they should have the opportunity to come out when (or if) they want and how they want, not because of the pressure from the fans.), but in the way that it could actually mean a lot to a lot of people. I'm talking from my perspective as a cis girl here, but I know A Lot of guys (probably 99% of the guys I know) that never show affection for their friends in this kind of ways because "what will people say?". And even though it happens between girls too, it is (from what I've seen and I think people will agree with me on this one) so much worse in the case of guys.

I was actually thinking about this yesterday because I spent the day with my best friend of 18 years, and we spend all the time hugging each other close, giving each other pecks on the cheeks and holding hands, and suddenly it hit me that I never see guys doing that with their friends. I've never seen guys being so affectionate with their friends in this kind of way. And believe me, I have lots of guy friends and they're probably a whole lot closer with each other than I am with most of my friends. But they just never show it in physical ways because even hugging each other is seen as something bad for some (very stupid) reason.

Where I was going with this is that I really really appreciate the fact that the guys from Joker Out are always so open about their affection for each other (eg. when they hug each other all the time, Bojan ruffling everyone's hair, Jure calling them "my boys" and saying he's really happy just being with them, all their shenanigans on stage, the whole "conspiracy theory" thing, them sharing kisses from time to time, and so on and so forth), because I've personally NEVER seen anyone being like that and it truly feels like an inspiration.

And on top of all of this, if we get Damon actually photographing any of this (again, be it whatever they want it to be) and sharing it with the world feels truly freeing in some way.

And what if some of them are actually queer? What if all of them are queer? What if none of them are? What if they never want to address any of this and just keep living their lives however they want like the normal people they are? We shouldn't care and we shouldn't push them to share anything about their personal lives because they don't have to.

I just want guys (and everyone in the world but you know what I mean) to be able to kiss and hug their friends, I want guys to be able to say "I love you" or "I miss you" to their friends without having to worry about what everyone will think or people speculating on their sexualities. I really hope someday people will understand that it's not bad to show platonic affection and love and that it's just as important as romantic love...

#sorry if this doesn't make much sense but i'm to tired to reread it #and also i really hope i don't sound like i'm angry #i'm sorry i don't know how to express my feelings well through words without worrying that someone will take the message completely wrong #joker out #maca speaks #i questioned myself for a solid 10 minutes before posting this but i feel like i need to atp so here you go

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