#so please dont use this as an example to make me sound like i only care about myself

[amsznn]

Hey can you do one where the reader has a crush on Matt.She is very much giving heart eyes and tries to do anything to make him happy.Matt being oblivious complains to his brother about it.Nick and Chris smack some sense into him saying how lucky he is to have someone like us care about him.Matt disagrees and the reader hears this causing her to stop not wanting to make him uncomfortable.Matt misses the way things use to be and gets jealous when learning the reader is going out on a date.At the end they have an argument and he tells her how he really feels.Lots of angst in the beginning fluff towards the end please!!

OVERBEARING - m. sturniolo

warnings: slight cursing, angst at start, fluff at the end

-

you couldn’t deny it anymore. and you dont think it went unnoticed either.

the lingering gazes, to the more than normal laughter at his jokes, or the constant acts of service. how you were willing to do anything for him. just him.

matthew sturniolo.

you thought your constant need to be near him was just you wanting to be better friends. that was until your feelings started growing stronger.

“y/n, helloo.”

you brought your attention to the voice you found yourself loving so much.

“sorry, what?”

“i asked if you could pass the remote.” matt repeated while settling down beside you on the couch. you nodded and reached over to grab the remote to hand it to him. it was around 1 AM, and it was just the two of you. nick and chris had went to their rooms while you and matt decided to watch a movie.

“want me to get you a blanket?” you whispered as matt stared at the screen to the opening of the movie.

“no, im good.” matt says. you nodded and turned your head towards the movie. about five minutes or so passed when you asked another question.

“hungry?”

“nope.” matt responds, adding a ‘pop’ to the p to exaggerate his response. you mumbled an ‘okay’. a few beats of silence passed before once again, you asked.

“are you sure-”

“y/n, please m’ just trying to watch the movie in peace.” matt sighed. he was getting frustrated by the second. after a long day of filming with his relatively loud brothers, the only sounds he wanted to hear were the actors on the tv.

but this was only one example of your persistence. you were always clung to matt’s side. following him like a lost puppy at all times.

always there to cook him up a meal after his long day, willing to do any of his chores that he just didn’t feel like doing, even soothing him to sleep on those tough nights where everything went blank.

nick would sometimes make fun of matt. it almost seemed like you were his mother with the way you acted. but thats not what you were trying to come off as. you simply just had a lot of love for the boy that you weren’t really ready to confess yet.

but for matt? he didn’t see your clinginess as a good thing, in fact he began to hate it once nick pointed it out.

on one particular day matt decided to bring it up to his brothers while they were in nick’s room.

“i just don’t get it, like she’s just always there.” matt says while pacing around the room.

“is that a bad thing?” nick asks while organizing the clothes in his closet.

“i mean it wouldn’t be if she didn’t act like im some sort of child.” matt sighed while plopping down at the edge of the bed.

“i dunno, i’d love to have someone like y/n. she literally does everything for you bro.” chris laughs while slightly nudging matt.

“yeah..” nick yells from his closet. “don’t know why you’re bitchin’ bout it she’s literally helps you with like…” nick took a pause to think. “everything!”

matt scoffs before shaking his head. “yeah well it’s nice before it gets fucking unbearable.”

unbeknownst to matt, you could hear this whole conversation. you had came to drop off some food for the triplets, and since you had an extra key you went straight in. now you would’ve made yourself known until you realized you were the topic of their conversation.

to say you were hurt from matts words was an understatement. you quickly rushed out of the house, tears streaming down your face recounting every scenario where you were overbearing.

-

hours turned into days and days turned into weeks. matt hadn’t heard from you in a while. he expected to wake up to your daily morning texts, but nothing. after he shrugged that off he expected you to come over like you usually did. but once again, you didn’t.

he found himself longing for your presence more than he ever did.

you both went no contact until you came over, seeking nicks assistance since you had a date that night in hopes that your little crush on matt would subside.

you had went the whole time without speaking to the brunette. opting for a simple ‘hey’. matt was confused. why were you suddenly so distant? sure he wanted space at times but this is not what he had in mind.

matt finally snapped when you attempted rushing out their house, bidding matt goodbye with a meek ‘see ya’.

matt rose from his spot on the catch before making his way towards you. “are you gonna tell me what’s going on, or are you gonna keep avoiding me?” matt said while crossing his arms on his chest.

you could only roll your eyes before slipping your shoes on. “i dont know what you’re talking about, but i have to go.” you spat harshly before spinning on your heel.

“woah, what’s up with you?” matt yelled, shocked at your sudden anger towards him. he pulled you back by your wrist so you could face him.

“y’know if you found me ‘overbearing’ you could’ve just told me.”

thats when everything came back to matt. instant regret washed over him as he gazed upon your solemn expression. the same eyes that used to hold so much adoration for him now hollow.

“i’m so sorry y/n. i know theres no excuse to what i said but i was just being stupid.” matt sighed while running a hand down his face. “you’re far from overbearing, in fact i...i really miss you.”

“really?” you mumbled while your facial expression softened. matt nodded before embracing you in a tight hug to which you reciprocated by wrapping your arms around his waist. your date long forgotten.

“you’re amazing the way you are, and im sorry if i made it seem any other way.”

you smiled at matts words before leaning up to look at him. “just tell me next time, okay?” matt smiled and lightly pecked the side of your temple. happy to have finally gotten you back.

the version of you he loved.

and the version of you he would always cherish.

-

A/N: sorry this should’ve came out yesterday but i had to study for an exam. i have also been experiencing writers block but i have a new matt series in mind so stay on the look out for that!

tags:

@junnniiieee07 @tillies33ssss @whore4matt @stellarsturns @summerl986 @inveigledvex @beccaluvschris @stingerayyy2 @bunnysturns @braindead4l @vickyzloserz @sturnzsblog

#matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fluff #nick sturniolo #matt x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo angst #amsznn #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

[savannahsdeath]

Hi <33 I love love love your writing and I really want your take on what fucking santa barbara!Ellie would be like if your up to it 🫶🫶

first of all THANK YOU💗💗 and yes ofc i tried my best !!

SANTA BARBARA!ELLIE X READER HEADCANONS + EXAMPLE ONESHOT

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! smut

writers note: its not like my typical hcs because this ones more like umm with plot?? idk how to say this but i hope ykwim😓ENJOY!!

🌿 she's definitely rough like im sure 100%

🌿 she would degrade you but she also praises you from time to time

🌿 now, hear me out, she doesnt have her usual smirk. like someeetimessss but mostly she looks so stern and focused youre literally scared to make a sound

🌿 she definitely doesnt care about making a mess. shed be sooo sloppy istg!!!!

🌿 she also doesnt care about whatever youre saying. she barely listens. everytime you hit her with a 'stop/too fast' she either completely ignores you or replies with some 'huh? what did you say?' and shed go even faster..

🌿 she def uses strap but also loves just using her fingers. she just wants to feel it ykwimmm

heres an example story(lets skip the plot)

its not really what i meant but whatever😓

You couldn't stop yourself from moaning, what seemed like an invitation for Ellie to shush you by pressing her lips to yours. It silenced you, but not stopped, as your inaudible groans were now caught in Ellie's throat.

You were unable to move, pressed against the wall, so she didnt need to hold you. With her free hands she started undressing you both, knowing you wont be able to do so by yourself. She didn't break the kiss though, only stopping for a second when she had to pull your shirt over your head and didn't have access to your face. She continued right after.

You're not sure when did you moved to the bed, but here you were, laying down beneath her.

She kissed your neck, leaving wet spots on it. She was moving down your body, as you played with her hair, shutting your eyes closed.

Not long after that, a few more of your body parts were red from her nibbling - inner thighs mostly.

Even though she took her time, it didn't take too long. She knew youre impatient and wasn't in mood to mess with you, not yet, not like that.

Soon after, she buried her face between your legs, planting the same messy kisses all over there.

Her hands were holding onto your thighs, preventing them from clenching. You knew her grip will leave bruises, painful ones too, but you didnt care.

Ellie's tongue was definitely doing a good job, playing with your clit, slidding in and out of your entrance.

Her fingers didn't loose up but her thumbs started gently tracing circles on your skin, which definitely made it seem less aggressive.

When she was finished with her mouth, one of her hands took the initiative. She was rubbing two of her fingers for a few short moments, before pushing them in.

You were finally able to see her face - her expression. She looked at you firmly, like one bad move could get you killed.

You were whining and whimpering, desperately begging her to slow down.

"Sh, shhh... Just take what youre given, will you?" The corners of her mouth moved slightly upwards, creating a little smile.

You nodded but continued squirming, your thighs trembling, breath shaking...

"Oh, dont be so dramatic. Youre doing good, you'll handle it, trust me." She reassuringly patted your side. "People survived worse things."

Did that help? Well...

But you knew its the best she can do when it comes to being nice. You couldnt blame her, not after you found out about her past. She killed more people than you ever talked with, after all..

Your mind went blank and you couldnt think of anything to say, so you kept mumbling the two words you always do - 'Ellie' and 'please'. At this point, it seems your mouth remembered how to say these. Your tongue knew exactly what to do to make them come out of your mouth, while it was struggling with any other word.

But it was enough for her to know what you want to say.

When youre finally done (she can tell youre close by the way you scream her name, so she knows when to go faster), she cleans you up with her toned expression.

"See? You'll live, atta fucking girl."

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams headcanons #reqs open #wlw smut #ellie the last of us #ellie williams smut #imagine #oneshot #fan fiction #fanfic #request #thank you nonnie #i love you nonnie #santa barbara #santa barbara!ellie #santa barbara!ellie x reader

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have so many ideas but none of them can be put into words, all I can do is just wheeze as they come along🤣

Also remember how wordy and flowery Teyvat speech/dialogue is? ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE---

Reader can understand the basic speech which is why they are so blunt (I love this idea so much 🤣) and can piece together an idea what the person is talking about.

*insert random person talking about a commission with a long ass backstory*

Traveller & Co.: *understands completely and making plans to retrieve said commission*

C!Reader: (They said they had a cart.... a bunch of hilichurls appeared... dancing?.... they want us to dance fight the hilichurls???? Dance off???)

Actual story->The person's cart got ambushed by a group of hilichurls and taunted them by dancing around it.

....... it doesnt always translate well

Also imagine Reader heaeing random names and overthinks it as a word instead of a name.

Example: Pantalone means pants in Philippine English (sorry not sorry Pantalone)

Tsaritsa??? Oh do they speak russian there??? - reader

Capitano -> captain in some countries

(I once mistake Sandrone as Sandalone and I just went "... ehh??? Standalone? Sandalone as in Sand Alone???? Sandal (Flip flops)????

Oh wait its Sandrone" ".... as in Sand and Drone??--)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM ANON MY BELOVED 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜✨️✨️

Gif is me writing u anything ever:

AHFLALA FERRRALLL I STG I ALSO THOUGHT ABT THIS!! WHY U COULD ALSO BE BLUNT BC U ONLY GOT THE BASICS 💀 RIP

Man theyre written language looks so scary to learn, kinda like when I looked into trying to learn Mandarin/Japanese (and even Korean), the letters r just inherently so different i was so intimidated

And u dont even read it like left -> right like English

Omg i tried to reply to a arabic comment on my art post once, and i felt so acommplished when i finally was able to type "اشكرك (thanks)" but like, i had to put it on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TEXT BOX, LIKE ALIGN IT TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HOW U KNOW ENGLISH IS INHERENTLY ALIGNED LEFT, IT WAS SO TRIPPY-

Going thru genshin life only understanding minimal words of anything anyone says is honestly how i feel like ive been playing Genshin LMAO

Those analysis videos/lore are saving a bitch's life out here

PANTALONE IS ALSO RLLY CLOSE TO SPANISH FOR PANTS I KNOW WHAT U MEANNN LOL

UR ENDLESS CONFUSION FOR SANDRONE PLEASE ANON U DIDNT EVEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST CORRECTION IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSEEE 😂😭 SAME THO

That would literally be you in genshin tho, like i could easily see it being like, back to back misunderstandings 😭😭

Like u think u got it right (Oh so his name is Rex Lapis, wait what? Morax? Ok his name is Morax...?? What??? Zhongli??? WHO IS THIS MAN-)

.

JFC first they gotta have a whole different language (like u saw in game)

And ON TOP OF THAT THEY CAN TALK FOR 10 MIN STRAIGHT ABT THE WEATHER OR SOME SHIT??

No... just, no.

U quickly decide u like what little bits of language u could pick up so far, which just results in,

U guessed it, simple speech and short fragmented sentences (or broken Teyvatian)

U cant even bring urself to care when u give half the characters a heart attack and send the rest into laughing fits

No fucks given, they wanna make this extra hard on u by being wordy on top of a new language,

Yeah u dont care what comes out of ur mouth anymore

Also, since everybody is raised in Teyvat very few ppl dont know the language, which once again brings us back to ancient/older deities/creatures who have a more simplistic version/outdated version of modern language

.

Omg getting stuff mistranslated bc u cant understand it all/only keywords sounds like hell but also rlly funny

Traveler/Paimon: "Alright, yes, all is well. We will accept this comission, and depart soon."

You: "...they want us to?? Dance fight?? Hilichurls...???"

Traveler just stares at u half in pity, half trying to hide their amused smile, Paimon is giggling

The commissioner is shook bc a supposed ancient creature?? Just accepted?? Their simple commission?? And u think they want u to dance battle???

.

PLEASE U MISTRANSLATE THE HARBINGERS NAMES RIGHT TO THEIR FACES

Signora: "You shall rue the day you crossed the Fatui mortals!"

You: "Lady we don't care, just fight us."

(Signora just means 'Lady')

Signora: *offended gasp*

Traveler/Paimon trying to stifle laughter

Raiden Shogun jaw dropped a little

.

Pantalone: "What a pleasure to finally meet you traveler, and thine wonderful companions!" *little bastard smile*

You: "And it was awful to meet you, Pants."

Pantalone: 😶😧😡 "Pants?! HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN GIVE ME THE MOST BASE RESPECT, AFTER I GREETED THEE SO KINDLY-"

.

Oh its so funny, everytime you talk about Childe you always phrase it like he's an actual child bc u thought everyone was just calling him a little kid for some reason (u dont know how Teyvat ages work, he could be for all you know!)

Not very long, but Vine Boom anon your brain >>>>

Ur ideas r so on point, i love them sm

That makes perfect sense why u could be talking blunt too, like an in world explanation really

For you, all the desserts🥰 🤲🍪🍨🍰🍮🧋🍦🍡

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#vine boom anon ilysm #yall r so funny i cant keep up help #big brain anons #genshin impact #ask box open #genshin sagau #my asks #sagau #genshin sagau ideas #gender neutral reader #genshin imagines #please send asks #:) #<3 #genshin isekai #genshin god reader

[jellyaibo]

breaking my silence...i fuckng hate this "genre" of object show gijinka and im tired of acting like it isnt . bland

(using ii gijinkas as my guinea pigs for this, considering i really ONLY see these kinds of gijinkas in the ii side of the osc)

they are just. all the same build, usually same hairstyles and fashion theres NOTHINGGG that differentiates one persons gijinka from another because thats how similar they look to me, also if i were to color these do u think it would make it more obvious who is who? (if u cant already tell who is who obvs. its tt, fan & pickle but ohhhh my god THERESS NO SAUCE)

this might just sound fucking insane on my part but also even though these gijinkas dont have natural skintones (obvs trying to match the objects) they completely lack any features that say they ARENT white (i mean like very eurocentric) finding one with afro hair is like looking for a needle in a haystack (im being so serious ive barely seen any . kind of diversity like that)

and not even just diversity in races too, because 99% of them are all tall and skinny they just completely lack any body diversity (once again, very eurocentric yk yk) and because of that they have. awful silhouettes (unless they have VERY defining features which is fucking rare, so unless you have a really unique design a lot of people probably can't tell who is who unless you either squint really hard or have them be colored in)

my point is . these gijinkas just dont look good like at all. (im not gonna kill anyone for making gijinkas like this btw but ill def squint at you rlly hard but thats just me) and i think people should try to go and experiment with more expressive and fun designs that can make these blokes rlly stand out more!!! (something as simple as just, giving them acne, making them shorter/taller than they actually are, wacky hair n cool disability aids etc. just fucking go nuts!!! diversity just. makes better designs imho)

i designed these kinda on the spot (im sorry pickle) and like. even if they might look a little bland imo they have way more personality than the designs above!!!!!!!!!!! its not hard lichurally all u need to do is get an idea n try it

also i didnt know where to put this but like. another example of why i think these gijinkas just fucking suck: i uhhhh made my loser gijinka into one

her joy? her happiness? her personality and transsexual swag? GONE. SUCKED AWAY FROM HER BEING. she is a HUSK

my final note(s) on this is like. just go experiment brah im sooo tired of seeing these ohh please im so exhausted...EVEN IF U ARENT CONFIDENT IN UR DESIGNING SKILLS . GOING AND TAKING THAT FIRST STEP IS GOOD please just go nuts ohhh u wanna go nuts so fucking bad . theres many many references for different bodies n details n shit AND U DONT EVEN HAVE TO LIKE. STUDY EVERYTHING TO BECOME "GOOD" at this . just . freaking go for it

and my final (final) note is uhmm very petty but idc but the artist that popularized this kind of object show gijinka isnt the best person so like. yeah that is one of my top reasons on why i dont like em LMAO

uhhh and yeah thats it thats pretty much all sorry for rambling im just a tired little biracial boy oohh im so tired heres a lollipop 🍭

#im SORRY im SORRY for rambling i jsut like. keep seeing them #im not attacking any specific artist (except hous3) btw AHAH i rlly hope i didnt sound . super mean #.txt #ask to tag #ig #feel free to rb if u want cuz im sooo tired

[flowerflowerflo]

🍡 unwanted thoughts and overthinking

all of us deal with these from time to time, some more often than others. i havent found too much about these subjects on this side of tumblr but i personally wanted to shed a little bit of light on it as i am very familiar with both of these things & wanna help! <3

ೀ definitions -

intrusive thoughts: unwanted thoughts or mental images that make people feel uncomfortable that can range from harmless to severe.

overthinking: to think too much about something in a way that is more harmful than helpful.

ೀ part 1, intrusive thoughts

first off, your thoughts create your reality. this may seem incredibly redundant in this context but hear me out. YOUR thoughts create your reality, the ones you are actively creating and in control of, not the ones that appear out of the blue or make you scared or upsey or uncomfortable like these. these do not reflect you as a person nor the world you live in in any way because they are not yours, and only your thoughts can create your reality.

recognise that 99% of the time these are not serious. they are so far off what is actually or will actually happen that its funny, so treat it as such. if it sounds absurd that you could even think such a thing, treat it as such. laughing at absurdity is natural and this is just another example of that. "what if they laugh at me for __?" and why would they do that. "what if i did ____" what reason would you have to do that. would you take someone asking you these questions or telling you these things seriously? no. this isnt any different.

so in my head i refer to this as a "battle strategy" because its similar to that of a soldier aiming and firing at whatever enemy comes their way. for example; you get one of these unwanted thoughts. you attack back - replace this with 3 good thoughts, memories or affirmations. if this is attacked back, you defend yourself again, and so on. call me dramatic but imagining out an entire scene in my head to go along with this is so fun and makes me feel way less gross about it all😭

please please please dont beat urself up over it, like i said earlier these are not your thoughts, they do not reflect you in any way. you are beautiful and safe and protected and a good, pure soul and i love you sm <33

(note: please reach out to someone if these thoughts are interfering with your everyday life or seriously affecting your mental health. you are not a bad person and it doesnt make you any lesser for reaching out for help. i am not an expert, i am simply stating what helps me and has helped me in the past. ily)

ೀ part 2, overthinking

investigate. say you have a presentation tomorrow. you are really worried and thinking so much about every little detail. first thing - why are you worried? "because of what they'll think of me." why is that an issue? "what if they laugh at me because im wrong or i did something differently or (list of a billion absurd & unlikely things that can go wrong)?" why is that an issue? "i dont want people to dislike me." why does that matter? where did this concern come from? from then on you can sit down and think about why this may be or where this may have stemmed from, find the root cause of this and go from there. curiosity is the most lethal weapon one can wield, and that applies to yourself, too.

sit. do nothing. sit in complete silence, no phone, no device, no distraction. be your own cheerleader and annoy yourself by going on and on about it in your head until you annoy yourself into doing it <3 (learnt this from my younger brother)

weigh out the pros and cons and measure it from there. if the pros outweigh the cons, you start immediately, no distractions. if the cons outweigh the pros, think about it and think is it really worth causing all this trouble over?

reassure yourself & again dont beat yourself up over it!! this is normal and you can beat it!!! lets do this!!!! 🫶

i love you!!!! so much!!! i believe in you & we can do this!!!! 🩷🩷

#♡ #procrastination #overthinking #intrusive thoughts #mental health #self improvement #self love #girlblogging #wonyoungism #glow up era #we can do it #!!!!! <3 #i love you #lots and lots

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Give me your Blyndeff sister headcanons please.

You got it, Boss!

MOLLY BLYNDEFF:

Starting off, I think shes autistic. Look, i know this is low hanging fruit, but i mean... come on...

I have a list of all the nervous tics she has, which include:

Chewing on her hoodie strings

Clicking a pen, mechanical pencil, figit cube

Cracking her body, mostly her hands, fingers and wrists

Chewing her inner cheek

Biting herself

Shaking anything jingly

Nervous hand flappies

Pacing

I also have a list of stims that i kinda projected:

Hand flaps are a big one

Same with fist shaking

Patting her thighs too

She also makes small popping noises

Ok back to ACTUAL headcannons:

Doesnt do well at amusement parks, but is cool about the scary halloweeny stuff

Quiet kid in school on the days she goes

Vocalizes what she does (aka making sounds as she does stuff) (akaaka her walking and she goes "eh eh eh eh")

I feel like she indulges in horror games, thinks the cutesy stuff is boring

Did not realize she was autistic until Trixie said "Thats neat Molly! By the way, did you ever get diagnosed for autism?" After she went on a whole rant about bear facts.

Speaking of facts, hyperfixation/special interest list:

Bears

Pokémon

Lethal company

Any horror game you give her, really

Horror movies

History (this is me protecting)

Actual Headcannons:

Textures are iffy for her

Shes touch seeking but will freak out if she feels or tastes a weird texture like with fleeces or fabrics

Naven triedd to help her with this, but it didn't work out and she spat out the food while apologizing

Likes Rasin Brain, its the only cereal thats not sweet

Drinks black coffee and tea

I feel like she owns a green Nokia with a bear keychain

Music taste is probably those nice music box covers or really quiet piano with rain ambiance.

LORELAI BLYNDEFF:

Shes autistic too, but not at the same spectrum level as Molly

Abandonment Issues

If shes stressed she'll stim while talking out loud to herself

Had HORRIBLE meltdowns when she was younger, she stopped around the time Molly was born since her parents said she had to set an example

Sweet tooth, favorite flavor is Birthday Cake

I can sense she has a Dnd special intrest, most definetly has played Baldurs Gate 3 at some point

Warrior Cats kid

Bedazzles everything she owns

Horrible cook. Dont let her touch an oven

Her and Molly used to infodump together before they started hating eachother

Def a bedazzled flip phone girlie

Idk why but I feel like shes a Chai drinker, no explination I just feel it.

Also really likes Halloweeny stuff

She struggles more with school work than Molly (Proof, her spelling in PoP) but she doesnt want to ask for help cuz she feels stupid about it so she just does it wrong

Full Hyperfixation/Special Intrest List:

Fantasy

Dungeons and Dragons/TTRPGS

Baldurs Gate 3

Rabbits/Bunnies/Etc

Harry Potter (Fuck JKR)

Warrior Cats

Wings of Fire

Percy Jackson

Actual Headcannons:

I feel like shes an Art Kid

Specializes in Pottery and Doodles

Also has taken up plushie making! Without an Epithet, I may add

She doesnt have an issue with texture most of the time; but if she feels any slime or coldness on her hands she'll flip.

She likes the popular music; but secretly loves fantasy game soundtracks and vocaloid. DWEEB!!!! (Me too i get it Lori)

Storing money to go to a Renaissance Faire

She sometimes uses her dream bubbles for Dnd campaigns with the friends she has! Or she would if she had any

I feel like she sits alone at lunch :(

Loves Boba! Tried getting Molly to taste it but she spat out a Pearl

Theater kid. Gut feeling.

Thats all from me, anon! Enjoy!!

#epithet erased #epithet erased fanart #epithet oc #epithet erased percy #epithet erased mera #epithet erased molly #epithet spoilers #prison of plastic au #prison of plastic spoilers #epithet erased prison of plastic #prison of plastic #epithet erased lorelai #lorelai blyndeff

[chososdiscordkitten]

PLEASE GIVE ME SMUT WRUTING TIPS..GOJO BREEDING KINK MADE ME WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. (EVEVN IF U DONT LIKE GS BREEDING KINK, ITS ONE OF UR BWSTS) PLEASE GIVE ME DIALOGUE WRITING HELP. HELPPPPP DONT LEAVE ME HELPLESS

UHHHH smut writing tips... hmmm. (yapping below the cut)

this may sound very wrong and not pc BUT, ive been reading smut for years. Since I was like 10, ive read countless different writing styles, and millions of words of pure filth.

And as I read them I developed a taste of what I like and don't like- I write in a way as though I am reading to the reader- you/your/yours, because I don't like y/n or I don't like using third person pov nor first person.

What I do- is I think of the scene, picture it and if I can't get a body part- or a hand placement correct, I go look at porn videos or hentai- whatever. Not because i derive like arousal from it- but I truly use it as a form of studying. (im asexual)

I also use shows, movies and songs for inspo- certain lyrics I can picture on x character I write down.

I find it helpful to use a physical notebook for my ideas, there are times I don't have access to my computer so actual paper helps.

And as for dialogue, I try to keep a mix of x characters physical state while they speak, an example;

("blah blah blah" she said, and he said "blah blah" and then-) ive never liked this specific kind of writing so I include the way their eyebrows furrow- or the way their nose crinkles after saying something.

with smut I think its helpful for the reader to picture the way x characters face churns, a trembling bottom lip, dilated pupils, it helps make everything seem more intimate and inclusive for the reader.

And when it comes to describing the way something feels- if its something small like a trailing touch- I take a second and do what im writing about onto myself-

example; if im writing about a gripping hand on a hip- ill press the tips of my fingers onto my thigh to see the way the skin indents and how it feels? (embarrassing)

One thing ive learned- just because you write it with a specific image in mind- doesn't mean people will be able to see it the way you do unless you provide details.

usually when im doing laundry or at work a specific sentence pops into my head that id picture x character saying.

Let's use gojo for example, in my head when I think of his dialogue I think of playful, sweet, but with kinda mean undertones. Because in the anime/manga he keeps a playful tone while saying some very mean things.

once ive finished a very rough first draft- I spell check everything and read it outloud to myself- I say the dialogue in the tone I pictured while writing to be sure it sounds correct. and if it doesn't I brainstorm different phrases or words. (use of different words is soo important.)

And once ive corrected any words that don't fit together- or changing certain things that make me squint- I feed it into Siri nd have it read it to me outloud while I follow the sentences.

I do this 3-4 times till the whole thing sounds correct and how I mean for it to be read.

And I do one final skim once I paste the story onto Tumblr.

it's a tedious process, I know, there's times where im on my 4th reread and it seems boring or uninteresting- but only because ive reread it a million times and combed through it carefully.

There are times where I think my writing sucks because it seems over processed it and it's not entertaining- but!!! I proceed regardless.

And remember- you shouldn't write for the likes of other people, write for yourself and to your likings.

The masses shouldn't tell you what you should enjoy writing, pls don't take this as rules or as like a demanding thing- this is just my personal experience and the way I like to do things.

Writing should be a fun hobby and something you do to get the filth out of your mind, nd im not a very big writer on here, so don't listen to me too much

thank u for the question :>>> (I know how it feels to reach out for some help anon, im happy you enjoy my writing enough to ask me this, ily)

#jjk #⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨ten speaks୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ #jjk x reader #writing #⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨10 asks୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

[damistrolls]

(CLOSED) little animation commissions

hello, i know i dont do commissions that often, but i kinda feel like doing some little looping animations for people, so here we go

i have two options available <3

——

first option: scribbly animation. these are generally quicker and i'm more comfortable doing fullbodies with them, but i will not color them, and they can potentially show guidelines and have other smaller mistakes. i can do this with my soft brush, hard brush, or thin brush. larger image size ($10-$20 based on complexity)

examples:

——

second option: clean binary animation. these are more clean/polished and can be in color, but are more limited in terms of what i can and cant do with them motion-wise, since they are waist up only. i will be using a binary brush for these. smaller image size ($15-$25 based on complexity)

examples:

——

(more info below the cut)

i need a visual reference for your character in order for them to be eligible. if you want a fullbody, you need a fullbody reference, if you want color, you need a colored reference

i might turn down overly complex designs, especially if they include anything mechanical. intricate details are just not my forté, and make animation a chore :(

this is mainly for fantrolls, but i will accept non-hs ocs too <3 no canon characters though

i can make it a video format instead of a gif format if you want sound added to it

the prices listed are subject to change based on the complexity of the animation or design. however, you can subvert a charge altogether for a trade :] i am always happy to receive a character design (either premade or custom) or a small commission instead of money <3

i typically do transactions through paypal, but i can do alternate methods if need be

if you message me over tumblr, there's a good chance i won't see it, so please send me a request on discord instead (my user is tetranocular)

first come first serve! i will work my way down the list one at a time, so please be patient with me

thank u for reading!

——

slots:

@astrumocs

@sunnetrolls

@contrastparadoxx

@chaosclownboi

@mycrappyrpsideblog

#long post #art #animation #my comms

[cpunkwitch]

Hey, it's the anon that asked if chronic pain counted as a physical disability

I guess I just wanted to ask a few other things because you're like the first person who has actually answered my questions on this kind of stuff— I'm sorry if it becomes annoying or if my questions are stupid, I really struggle with research and stuff, so if this stuff is easily found on google or something then im sorry

I wanted to mainly ask what counts as debilitating? I mean my chronic pain tends to come in episodes that last a few minutes to a few hours (well the most noticeable of it, which is my ribs. But I do tend to havesort of aches in my joints, knees((are they joints?)), hip and some other places pretty commonly, and that usually lasts a few hours but I'm usually good at ignoring that), sometimes it can happen every day for a week and sometimes I can go weeks without experiencing or noticing any pain. I can still do things that most people do I think? Other than running or walking up hills, that usually takes away all my breath and makes the pain really bad (so bad I've had to lay on the floor for up to 10-20 minutes because I walked up too many hills). I don't know if that would count as debilitating

For further context, I am quite young and I don't have any diagnosis, I haven't seen a doctor over it because my parents don't believe my pain is real and often say it's growing pains (I don't think it is, since it started back when I was like 7-9, so before I started growing) so I don't really know much about this or my body really

Again sorry if this is a sort of stupid question, if you can't answer it or don't feel comfortable answering it that's perfectly fine ^_^ /gen

holding you gently (if touch is okay)

i dont think you understand anon im autistic all i do is research please please ask me to your hearts content! /silly

going bit by bit so its easier on my dyslexia, what counts as debilitating? subjective to the person but overall; debilitating means a condition or otherwise symptom of some kind causng a person to be weak, effects their usual functions or otherwise hindering, so for something to be disabling / debilitating and to count as such, it just means it hinders you in some way and generally makes you weaker in a "more suseptible to" way, such as chronic pain making it so you cant get out of bed i the morning, you cant lift heavy things like chairs etc.

it common for chronic pain and other chronic conditions to come in episodes my moms chronic migranes for example only happen about once a month. it still counts as chronic so long as its reoccuring and when it does occur if it hinders you in any way then it very much counts as debilitating and therefore a disablity.

the pain level doesnt have to be consistent nor does the time length, just that its reoccuring in some way.

knees are joints yes. when it comes to joint issues and pain its likely that form of chronic pain is caused by a type of arthritis, fibromyalgia and/or some other autoimunity that is known to cause that. not certain but i just felt like that might be worth noting.

my chronic pain causes me issues with walking just like that, people without this condition dont often struggle with losing energy nor feel pain after walks or runs, uphill or otherwise, unless they have something else goig on with their body. if it effects you lower body its no surprise your mobility in that area is effected in some way too. i got myself a cane to help me with this as i walk uphill to work often (at least its one reason it helps me)

that hinderance alone, effectig your stamina, counts as debilitating, it might now sound or feel as severe as what other people expirience but it counts

it sucks that people equate age to conditions and then dont believe young people like us when we have issues, but age has nothing to do with it, you can expirience anything like this at any age for a number of reasons. i was born with a defect i my spine we didnt find until i was 18-19 and id been i pain for well over a decade now.

you'll find its hard to get people to listen to you now, but once you know what to say, for example telling them how long that this has been going on and how it effects you, even what you suspect it night be and dont let them derail from exploring those possabilities, you can /get/ them to listen to you.

sucks hard that people wont listen in the first place, especially when they think they know everything. but youre the only one whos gonna know and understand your body best because only you can listen to it when it sends you signals like pain.

(i genuinely enjoy these kinds of asks i love getting to ramble)

#disability blogging #cass rambles #actually disabled #physically disabled #cpunk #physical disability #disabled #chronic illness #chronic #chronic pain #chronic disability #debilitating #answered askers #anon answered

[urfavoritesecretadmirer]

Please feel free to ignore me if you dont feel comfortable with this, I will completely understand. Thank you so much, if you do respond, this is a bit of a tricky ask. (Genuine ask).

I have a question because I completely agree with the long post on endos, etc, that you made about 2 days ago, but now I'm very unsure of myself/ourselves (if it's alright to ask?).

What if I'm so extremely sure of being a system of some kind (OSDD/DID), but I've got absolutely no clue what trauma was 'bad enough' to cause it....? Not like endos who claim to be a system with no trauma, but like someone who is sure they are, but has got no idea what could have caused it...

Sorry if that comes off just as bad, but the only thing that stops me from claiming to be a system and have the disorder is that I can't 'prove it'. I know I experience almost everything associated with the disorders (mostly for OSDD-1b), but I would never be able to tell you what made us that way. I know comparing is never the way to go when it comes to something like this, but when I see other diagnosed and non-diagnosed systems, they will almost always, if asked, be able to give a reason as what caused them the disorder and their system (not to sound like I ask, because I don't, but I know it's something that they are usually able to do if needed).

If someone were to ask me, I wouldn't have half as much of an answer to give them, and anything I know has happened never seems so severe. It's like i'm claiming something, but i have no right to. Or, at least it feels very much like it.

,,,Knowing I'm traumagenic, but not being able to even figure out the traumagenic bit.

Or I'm just delusional and probably wasting my time. If it turns out that, sorry for disturbing you.

I guess the question is, what is your standpoint on someone in a situation such as that? And also, what would you say would be an appropriate thing to class (or not class) that person as? Etc.

Thank you for your time

~🕸

Hey! Just before I start never be afraid to send me asks, I’m always willing to answer questions.

As for feeling like your trauma was not bad enough, I’m going to tell you right now that it was bad enough. Systems form between the ages of 1-9 years old, there’s a lot of stuff you may think to be small now that was actually really bad as a child. Trust me, your trauma was enough. Never doubt that <3 /p

Also, it is entirely possible you don’t remember your trauma. You can have blackout amnesia where you don’t remember any of it, grey-out amnesia where you remember some parts but not all (what parts you remember can vary), emotional amnesia where you either don’t remember what happened but you remember the emotions, or you don’t remember the emotions and just remember what happened, or even a combination of these.

Also, just remember there are other kinds of dissociative disorders! Two examples off the top of my head are C-DID and UDD, make sure to research other options too!

My standpoint is that you’re a lil in denial (I was too!) and confused. I just want to let you know you do not have to use labels! You can simply label yourself as a system until you find out what type of dissociative disorder you have.

Obviously, I am not a medical professional, and I can’t diagnose you. But if you’re comfortable with telling me about your symptoms in an ask or comments, I will be happy to give you options to look into (as I have been studying dissociative disorders for some time).

-🧿/🧠

ENDOS DNI WITH THIS POST THIS IS NOT FOR YOU

(Edit I now know UDD is just a medical label😭)

#actually osdd #osdd system #actually did #did osdd #did system #osddid #osdd #osdd 1b #actually traumagenic #anti endo #endos dni #endos fuck off

[ohbother2]

hi! so like, i might try writing smut soon enough (because why the hell not amirite?) so like, is there any advice you could give me? like DOs and DONTs, tools that could be useful to avoid orthographic errors etc etc (im used to using chat GPT to look at my horribly, horribly written texts and correct them, but i've got a feeling it will straight up censor it, and english's not my first language, so anything that would make my dirty dirty texts into dirty clean text would be dope)

Hi!

I'm sorry but because you're an ageless blog I'm not going to give actual smut-writing advice, but ig it's okay to give general writing advice?

Just a reminder to everyone, if you're a minor please do not interact with me or my posts!

In all honesty I don't really know what I even do when I write, the words just sort of appear and I'm like 'yep, that works', but that's not the most useful advice, lol

I envision the story I want to read, and then I write it how I want to read it. I hope that makes sense

I guess my main advice would be to find your own niche, like, are you a dialogue or an 'action' based writer? Ofc it's good to be good at both but people have their own strong suits. For me, for example, I'm much better at descriptive writing than dialogue so that's what I focus most of my writing around

People also have their own unique styles and formatting to their writing - I feel as though mine is pretty distinctive with certain types of vocabulary and paragraph spacing/grammar/etc - so I guess it would be good to find a style that works good for you! For example, don't stick to lengthy paragraphs of immense detail if that doesn't come naturally to you, etc

My absolute top priority when writing is to not tell the readers what's going on, but to show it. Sometimes 'They felt X/Y/Z' is a useful tool for emphasising a particular point, but sometimes it detracts from the writing overall.

As an example: 'He felt as if his heart was going to burst from his chest...' (This can be good when used in the right moments, but if that's the only descriptor the writing loses a bit of life to it)

Compared to: 'His heart hammered painfully against his taut ribs as he gasped uselessly for breath...' (This is showing rather than just simply telling, and is how I personally prefer to write a majority of the time)

It's also important not to repeat yourself unnecessarily - it can be good to repeat when you're really trying to emphasise a point, but sometimes writing can stagnate and become less engaging? It's very difficult to find the right balance but it makes a world of difference to a piece of text

For dialogue (arguably my weakest skill) the best piece of advice is that you cannot write accurately how people in real life talk. When we talk we mostly fill out thoughts with nonsense and fluff out the main point - you can't write this because the readers will become disengaged. There's an important balance to find between being too formal for speech, maintaining the main point of the conversation, and ensuring the characters still sound like themselves. I tend to really try and put myself in the characters heads, think about what they'd actually say, and then 'translate' it into a written format that works whilst keeping that characters traits.

The way I 'learnt' to write was through reading, and I'd really recommend you read in your desired writing language (I'm guessing English from your ask) to see the typical structures and vocabulary of that language when written down. Direct translations don't always work, especially with literature, because there are phrases and sayings and common slights-of-tongue that are language specific, so I think it's really useful to get used to that language in its own written form, yk?

I forgot!! But it's also important not to tell your readers everything. Let them fill some gaps in on their own - they don't need to be told how a line of dialogue was said if it's obvious in the speech and context, and they don't always need to know how a character moved across a room or what their hands are doing 100% of the time. Sometimes the best parts of stories are the bits that go unsaid :)

Sorry, this is rambling and probably not very useful, but I've never given writing advice before.

Writing really is all down to the author finding their own 'voice' within their texts, and I'm sure you're writing will be great!!! I hope this helps! :))

#writing advice I guess? #im really not qualified for this #sorry if this makes no sense

[squeakadeeks]

Ok you gotta give me the “explain like I’m five I’m a geology major” rundown on that condensed matter room temperature superconductor now please, I love research sci drama

can do!

to start off with what a super conductor is- everyday wires used to power our appliances and carry current are examples of standard conductors. Standard conductors always have some electrical resistance and this small, but still present resistance causes the wires to dissipate heat and lose energy as current flows. In contrast, a superconductor has zero electrical resistance. This means no heat/energy loss and also brings about unique and powerful magnetic properties.

before we get into the "room temp superconductor" drama its also important to note that superconductors do already exist. The problem is the superconductors we've made thus far require extreme conditions, like temperature, pressure, external fields, etc, which make them challenging to use in applications (but fun fact! even with that said they are already in use in things such as MRI machines).

THIS is finally where the drama comes in. In 2020, Ranga Dias published in Nature (a fairly big deal as far as notoriety goes) a paper claiming to have discovered a superconducting material that operates at near room temperature. This was a huge deal. Then this year in March, they claimed to have done it AGAIN with a new material. This sounds fantastic, suddenly we have two new room-temp superconductors, making unprecedented progress on the 120 years that we've been exploring this science.

BUT - if that sounds too good to be true, its because it probably is. when people looked closer at those papers, things started to look real sketchy real fast. Other experts realized their data analysis methods dont add up/are in the best case inconsistent and the worst case completely fabricated, data was explicitly manipulated, and that previous work done by Dias was directly plagiarized. Additionally, no experimentalists or theorists have been able to recreate either of their findings. All of that has lead to two papers by Ranga Dias getting retracted and others under investigation and likely on the way to a similar fate. So that's the drama of the superconductor hullabaloo. In summary if i had a nickel for everytime Dias claimed to have found a room temperature superconductor only to have it turn out to be manipulated fabrications, I'd have 2 nickels which isn't a lot but its WILD that it happened twice.

#when they dropped this at march meeting all my buds where like how in the HELL did anyone let Dias publish a paper like that again

[soshaaaa]

35 LESSON SPOILERS!

This post is full of Sosha's pain and sufferings, so here is some cute song to compensate it.

GOING THROUGH 35 LESSON WHILE BEING LUCIFER HATER IS LITERALLY THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE AND SCARY THING EVER😭

I mean, we had a lessons that was focused on other brothers but.. Other ones were pretty chill, and as a Belfie disliker, I didn't wanted to throw my phone in the window during his lessons, they were interesting. The horniness and romance was closer to the end of 2nd lesson of each arc. Gor example, when Asmo trapped us in the castle, it was like, end of middle part of his arc. And Beel doesn't had almost anything. Levi was pretty lovey-dovey because of MC almost dying, but it was pretty cool. BUT HERE...

Like, it's 1st lesson out of 2 and IT'S ALREADY EXTRA HORNY AND ROMANCEBLE?! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT?!

This lesson is literally my nightmare 😭

I mean, it must've been a good thing for Luci simps, like i liked Asmo lesson but.. As a Luci's #1 hater, this shit is unbearable

I really hate when devs don't let MC choose anything, AND THIS LESSON IS THE PEAK OF IT 😭

SOSHA ROASTING LUCI BELOW, LUCI FANS WARNING

I dOnT wAnT tO

ASMO, ASMO, PLEASE, MY DEAR BOY ASMO, PLEASE

UM.. NO?!? I absolutely hate how MC didn't even had A CHANCE to say that "I don't really want to". I mean, ok, story needs Luci to go with them, but.. In situations like that game gives at least something like "Um, fine, if i have to..". But here.. NAW, STORY JUST IGNORES THE FACT THAT YOU MAY NOT LIKE LICU.

Im looking forward to you getting crushed by a train. You don't even deserve me to place my video on pause while you are talking bro.

Naw, i prefer some demon to eat me, that to get close to you, red flag.

Ok~ Then I will just cut off and burn this hand later.

Bro.. like.. I mean, getting an outfit for your partner is cute but.. If you keep in mind that i never chose a single LuciSimp option and literally have the lowest intimacy level with him.. THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE, NOT ROMANTIC??? Ok, probably I'm exaggerating, but it sounds like "Well, your outfits are shit, so i gave you this costumes so you will not disgrace me. Thats probably will be the only appropriate clothing in your wardrobe, so wear it."

Naw bitch, i want to wear MY OWN FUCKIN CLOTHES. Ok, im definitely exaggerating, but its still annoying. Nightbringer is like "in this game you will have a choice!" and literally ignores your choices.

...DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY I AM ANGRY?! of course, of course, he is probably in his puberty and is consumed by his pride but IT DOESN'T MAKE IT LESS ANNOYING😭

"Naw bitch, it tastes like shit, i think that Solomon's cooking is 3000 times tastier than this piece of shit."

-Sosha, didn't even took a bite of it

You are perfectly know which option i will choose..

And funny thing that won't even react if you will say that you were depressed. That's sad. And yes, pride, all that stuff, but still. Its so fucking hard to go through (not in a good way).

#obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me shall we date #om! shall we date #om lucifer #om! lucifer #obey me lucifer #Luci hater #i fucking hate this #Spotify

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

how are you able to celebrate spirituality without feeling omniscient judgement of your every action? i realize that sounds like an accusatory question out the door LOL but i definitely don't mean it that way. it's moreso like...i spent so much of my life until recently feeling like i wasn't allowed to enjoy or be myself in my own privacy without feeling like i was being watched and weighed. i don't actively practice or pursue spirituality at this time, but i was raised into some incredibly unhealthy christian dynamics, which i think can definitely find relation in my prior mentioned struggles. even so, when it feels healthy and of your own volition, do you feel as though this is a struggle?

i love this thoughtful question, thankyou..putting under read more due to my lengthy answer x]

for me, ive mentioned before but i was raised by atheist parents. so as i built my own opinions about god, i was never set on the heaven/hell dichotomy, i never felt that god has this weirdly specific list of things u can and cant do. i feel that god wants us to be imperfect & make mistakes so that our souls can grow n expand towards our highest purpose thru many lifetimes of lessons.

that feeling of surveillance, i actually started to worry about it a lot after my dad died, even tho i had no real concept of spirituality at this point cus i was a kid. I just like, started to perceive that he saw everything, and since i was being rebellious teen at the time i felt a lot of guilt for years. Altho once i started learning more i began to feel that angels will never judge you, only love & understand.

Still i try rly hard to live with integrity. and im no angel but i strive to be the best version of Me. & a big part of that, imo, is acting "right" behind closed doors. for example, if someone is talking badly to me about a friend behind their back, am i going to stand up for them? or just let it slide because they're not there to hear it? small things like this may seem like nothing in the moment but they cld blow up in ur face later n u wish u just did the kind thing. i believe small lessons like this will keep repeating until ur soul learns.

one time many years ago i withdrew like $100 from an atm then just totally spaced out & walked away before i grabbed my money. the next person ran after me like "oh my god you forgot your money!" , i was so stunned. like this stranger fully couldve just walked away with a free $100 & i wldnt of even noticed until later. there was no prize waiting for them by doing the right thing. he just did it w no apprehension.

it shldnt be about trying to appease god, but earnestly trying to help & empower your fellow man. not out of guilt or shame, or fear of punishment, but out of the kindness in your heart, pure love. to me, god is just love, the trials are for the purpose of love, so i dont stress too much abt feeling watched. it makes me feel less lonely in a way.

thanks again for the question and i'm sorry about the trauma from your upbringing :( i hope u can heal and please dont put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, there is no punishment coming for you, whatever you're doing right now is exactly where you;re supposed to be. <3

[fruttymoment]

Whoa linux user

Do you have a guide on how to switch to it? I have zero coding knowledge (i think that's required) and I trust you with my life

I perfectly understand the "linux is scary and requires very big brain and coding its too hard to use!" thought coming from a Windows/Mac guy, i really do! But in the end, a linux distro is just a computer kernel that also has a desktop environment and just does what you want it to do like an operating system

Coding on linux is not required. Linux has so many distros at this point that designed to be beginner friendly, requiring "no knowledge but TO gain knowledge while using it"

The linux terminal is the thing that scares most of the users, but trust me once you get used to it you'll realize how efficent it is to operate your computer and do certain tasks from THE terminal instead! In the end, the cold looking white text with black background terminals are the REAL face of computers. Desktop environment is made so EVERYONE can use computers!

The terminal of gnu/linux uses the bash language. In a nutshell, it is pretty easy to learn basic commands actually!

Super beginner friendly linux distros are designed for people (YOUU) who has no experience whatsoever with linux! They are designed and engineered so you dont have to use the terminal much! For example, Linux Mint is the best distro you should start with. It looks and feels like Windows, even! And Mint does not require much terminal usage. That is also their mission, to make an linux distro friendly enough that no terminal usage is needed!

As easy as this sounds, i actually do not recommend staying this far away from the linux terminal. Please start with Linux Mint if you gonna, its just the best for beginners, but also please dont avoid the terminal much! The linux terminal is important to learn because it also teaches you how a computer really works, and certain operations are much more efficent to do via terminal anyway!

Push yourself to interact with the terminal, even. Learn very basic commands like "shutdown now" , and the "sudo" privilege and how it works (linux always asks your password while doing stuff and you also cant do muc without the sudo privileges!)

"sudo" is the command that gives you the REAL admin privileges to do ANYTHING. With your password and sudo, you can even delete your bootloader lol. Linux wont stop you

This means to be extremely careful while using sudo, though! You can do ANYTHING with sudo privileges, and that also contains accidently trashing your computer! Unlike Windows, that doesnt even let you uninstall Edge, linux has no boundries. Its like "we are gonna assume you know what you are doing."

Of course, friendly distros DO warn you on certain stuff, so dont worry too much!

So ye. U can use linux with no coding knowledge, but i dont recommend staying like that. After starting to use linux, you GOTTA let it teach you stuff!

And to the "switching to linux for the first time" part;

I recommend not deleting your main Windows, actually. For first time using linux i heavily recommend the "dual booting" , which simply means booting operating systems more than one in an computer! You can use BOTH linux and windows in thay way! Although, you need to shudown your pc if you want to switch between them and do it in the booting menu

This is because if something goes wrong, or you get very confused, just let Windows be ready in there. Only make the switch the moment when you feel you can operate linux with no issues and easily!

Dual booting basically slices your disk and creates partitions for operating systems. For example if you have an 512GB SSD, in dual booting you can slice it and make Windows use 256GB and Linux use 256GB too! Ofc u can change the numbers here (linux mimt will help u,.)

Before completely switching to linux; be aware that its a bit of a different world. Sure, very popular softwares exists in linux too but some softwares may not suppor linux. Adobe products dont support linux, for example! You can of course just emulate them with Wine software heh, but that would be a bit of a work!

Another problem will be certain online games. Online games does not like linux becuse how easy it is to manipulate the system, so they just either dont run on linux or they ban/kick you when you try to emulate it on linux

An example is Valorant. Valorant does not tun on linux!

And any online game that has a cheap anticheat system will be a problem!

With that being said, linux now supports every single game from Steam, with the Proton software. Just be careful about them online ones! If an online game natively supports linux (TF2, for example!) , it wont be a problem! Check the steam game's info thingy for it!

Oh and official Minecraft works in linux lol

Discord, Spotify etc. popular softwares also work on linux!

Linux in fact has an "app manager" software in their distros, making you install stuff with no terminal whatsoever! Think like Google Play Store but on le pc!

Anyways hehe thats it fo me bascallya! If u wanna switch to linux with no experience, start with the Linux Mint distro i say and explore it well! Tamper everything before fully installing it, dont worry about it! Linux is free. Linux does not care if you want to kill the entire system, even. Linux is freedom

Also please research the dual booting! You'll gonna be needing an 4GB+ USB for it, and a software like Rufus!

The site of Linux Mint has everything you need in detail, step by step ^^ good luck!

[egotisticalmachine]

sorry to ask you to ‘diagnose’ me, but lately ive been finding that i really really heavily relate to a lot of pwNPDs posts. ive also noticed thought patterns i have with my non-system splitting (thoughts go from ‘i am the most victimized person ever in the world’ to ‘i am the most horrible abuser that ever existed’).

i wanted to ask how you got diagnosed/started seeking information on NPD. i want to perhaps bring these thought patterns up the my therapist, but im unsure how to (esp since she has used the term “narcisstic abuse” in reference to experiences ive had)

any advice?

thank you for your patience, my life is very busy these days and i dont have a whole lot of time for tumblr, but i dont want you to think this is unimportant to me.

to be clear, im self diagnosed, and not planning on seeking a professional diagnosis, so i can only really walk you through doing your own research and self reflection and tips i can imagine would be helpful for seeking a diagnosis if you choose to do so. im aware my choice is somewhat controversial, and i would be happy to list out all my reasoning in a separate post, but i feel like that would be really fucking long (and kind of bitter tbh) and this is already gonna be a doozy. my main point is that if youre going to self diagnose, itll take a lot of research and thought; and if youre going to seek a prof diagnosis, itll take research and thought as well but youll also need to take into account the trustworthiness of whoever you turn to for help. if you go the prof dx route, i wish you nothing but the best of luck.

but onto my own process.

first, the DSM-5. a free PDF of the entire thing can be found here. make sure to read over the first part defining personality disorders as a whole, as well as the section on narcissistic personality disorder ofc, AND the disorders that it can often be mistaken for, which are listed under "Differential Diagnosis". take note of any that it seems you might fit the criteria for instead, or in addition. remember that NPD can be comorbid with many other conditions, as long as it isnt directly negating the diagnosis, such as narcissistic traits only being during episodes of mania.

please note though that the DSM-5 is still written from an outsider perspective. while it is ultimately the outline for a diagnosis, its not exempt from framing us in a negative light. for example - my lack of empathy isnt the result of any "unwillingness", i literally just have a lower capacity to empathize with others than the average person does. i can fake it, most of the time, but i cant force the real thing.

the DSM-5 also focuses mainly on pwNPD who are more outwardly grandiose, while ignoring those of us who dont present that way. for the most part im not a very "arrogant, haughty" person because ive learned thats not how i get my needs met. i may sometimes accidentally sound patronizing without realizing it, or i might unmask in safe environments and let myself be healthily arrogant (like playfully boasting and half-joking about everyone loving me), but on the whole i avoid it because in my experience, people like me better when im humble. even if im often arrogant internally, i filter myself. im not particularly grandiose now, but i used to be even less so - i was more of what gets referred to as a vulnerable narcissist, displaying (very often excessive by the standards of social acceptability, but still usually genuine) emotional vulnerability to others in the hopes of getting comfort and attention, and often placing myself into the "inferior" social rung that i believed everyone else wrongly saw me as because i felt that if i tried to take the "superior" position i "rightfully deserved" i would be hated for it. now i would say im in between grandiose and vulnerable, but still not as grandiose as whats described in the DSM-5.

also, consider the ways the criteria might apply in ways that may differ from whats described, or what immediately comes to mind. the "Diagnostic Features" section describes pretty specific scenarios, and i know i personally sometimes struggle to think beyond the examples im given. are the "special people" you associate with morally or creatively or spiritually special? do you exhibit entitlement by not doing assignments and being surprised by the consequences, or by expecting someone else in the household to handle the chores because youre busy, without considering that theyre busy too, maybe even busier? does your need for admiration apply to art you create, jokes you tell, facts you share?

TLDR for those last four paragraphs: the DSM-5 is absolutely the starting place for research, but doesnt encompass the entirety of the narcissistic experience. which is where the next step comes in -

keep researching. this step is... very, very difficult. the sad truth is youll mostly see articles about how horrible narcissists apparently are. youve probably already seen much of this and im sorry. theres not really any way to avoid it, because even resources that can offer actual help tend to have at least a degree of disdain for us. ive seen some pwNPD recommend the works of dr daniel fox, such as his worksheets available for free online, and if they might be helpful i encourage you to utilize those; however even his youtube channel is incredibly villainizing, at least based on the thumbnails (I Am Not Clicking On That Shit) so i really cant take him seriously and wont be giving him any of my money. please just be cautious wading through everything and remember that, whether you have NPD or just narcissistic traits, you arent the monster these people want to frame you as.

i wish i could remember every article that helped me along the way, but the biggest one i always recommend to ANYONE who wants to learn more about NPD is the one ill link here, Narcissus And The Daffodils. the authors use the checklist linked here to go into detail describing the spectrum of narcissistic experiences. the checklist is built using the DSM-5 criteria, essentially reworded, restructured, and added to in order to offer a more thorough understanding of NPD.* the authors elaborate on the checklist to explain how those criteria tie in with the experiences described.

*while the checklist is described as a potential tool for self diagnosis, i firmly believe it cant be your only resource to do so, and im unsure if that was the intention of the creators, who do openly state that they arent professionals. however, i still consider this a very helpful resource.

as an additional note: NatD touches on three different forms of empathy, emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. after doing a lot of research on the subject, my conclusion is that nobody can fucking agree on how to categorize and label different forms of empathy, but the categorization is still helpful for me and many others. basically, whats being said is helpful, just prepare to be confused if you try to research further because that model of empathy isnt the only one out there.

beyond that, you kind of just have to keep on trucking. sift through the bullshit. use your critical thinking skills, consider what info might actually be helpful and what might just be hateful and able to be disregarded. try to keep seeking out pwNPD, but also be cautious that even some pwNPD arent going to give the best info (r/NPD sucks ass and so does the associated discord holy fuuuuuuuuuck, absolutely toxic community and also not very queer friendly). and you mentioned relating to posts made by pwNPD, so it sounds like youve already been seeking out communities, and hopefully youve been finding good ones! im certain other pwNPD have more resources than what im able to offer as well.

TLDR for the past five paragraphs: research research research, keep your wits about you, think for yourself, seek out healthy communities, and dont let the shitheads get you down.

this will also take a lot of self reflection. you need to consider how your symptoms affect your daily life, your interpersonal relationships, your private moments. can you pinpoint when this started; was it sudden, or have these traits been building up over time? what might have caused all of this, what did your youth look like, what does your life look like now? how have you been praised? how have you been hurt? what were your parents or guardians like?

professionals arent 100% certain of what causes NPD, but there are patterns - genetics, upbringing, trauma. look at your roots just as much as your branches, so to speak. some pwNPD were praised too much as a child, made to feel more important than others. some had their needs neglected. some experienced both. im sure there are other factors im forgetting to list, so again, go listen to other pwNPD and see if anything they say clicks with you. ill use myself as an example below for the sake of explaining one of many many ways NPD can develop, but thatll touch on childhood emotional abuse and trauma, without going into too much detail. if thats still upsetting to read about, feel free to skip the next paragraph.

growing up i was both put on a pedestal for my achievements and talents (like getting good grades or being cute) and devalued for anything that was inconvenient or undesirable (like being easily scared or making mistakes), so i learned subconsciously that i was somehow innately superior to my peers but also that my superiority was conditional and i was innately flawed. i moved houses constantly, so i didnt get to learn how to develop lasting friendships, and my detachment made it far too easy for me to see people as temporary sources of attention and entertainment and not much else, easy to discard without any trouble once our time was up. even once my family settled down in my teen years, they still maintained an idea that i was better than my friends. my mother in particular was manipulative, so i learned to be manipulative too - i became calculated in how i spoke and behaved, tugged at heartstrings, and outright lied countless times, all as a survival mechanism as it became harder and harder to meet the expectations placed on me. i couldnt depend on the same easiness of childhood i had grown up with, especially with other obstacles like schizophrenia in the way of my grades, but i hadnt been taught how to work for success and didnt have the support to succeed, i just felt entitled to it, it felt like something innate to me. and while all these family and school troubles were happening, and eventually work troubles, i had my trust broken many times by many people (often BECAUSE my drive for attention led me to stick around awful people and put up with hurtful behavior), and this reinforced my misanthropic idea that i must be better than other people, but that i have to prove im not below them.

aside from just shamelessly liking to talk about myself - im sure i can be honest with you here lmao - im saying all this to illustrate a very important aspect of my self diagnosis process. i am able to pinpoint a VAST array of experiences from my youth, including plenty that i didnt even mention here, which contributed to the development of my symptoms and influence my current day behavior and psyche.

which means, going back to the tree analogy, i can connect my roots to my branches. i can recognize the symptoms i experience, the branches, and i can trace back down to the experiences that led to those symptoms, the roots. that helped me to better rule out other possible causes for those symptoms - i dont experience low empathy solely because of my autism, even if that is a factor, but specific events in my life further lowered my empathetic ability beyond what it potentially could have been. i dont feel superior as a symptom of mania, both because its a constant feeling and because i can explain how that feeling was instilled in me.

dont feel bad if you cant pinpoint everything like this. like i said, it takes a lot of self reflection, and if theres trauma involved, itll probably be a painful process. its ongoing too, there are still moments that i suddenly make a connection between a branch and a root. and mental illnesses as a whole are complex, because the brain is complex, and life is complex. and, again, genetics are believed to be a factor, so it could be possible that if you have NPD, you may have had a lot fewer developmental experiences that led into it, but experts just really arent 100% sure about all the facts. all i can tell you is my own experience.

and of course, i know ive already said it plenty of times, but focus on those branches too. really really consider how your symptoms impact you and how well they may line up with NPD or potentially something else. i know that i have full certainty in my self diagnosis, but i know that wont be the case for everyone and even with your own personal certainty, you might still want a professional diagnosis. again, if you choose to seek that, i wish you only the best and i hope youre treated with nothing but the highest respect and dignity.

so my tips for that prof dx as someone without one. first and foremost in this section: gonna have to say your current therapist is a no-go. its not impossible to change someones mind about narcissistic abuse, but its also sadly not all that likely on your own, and more importantly it isnt your job when youre just trying to get help for a potential disorder. there are websites where you can search for specialists (dont use psychologytoday), but i know when i tried on a site i sadly forget the name of, i didnt get any results, so i dont know how many options are out there and listed on these sites.

your next option is probably word of mouth. reaching out to NPD communities, asking who can be trusted. but, given how small the community is, and that you dont want to doxx yourself and might not feel safe asking people you know irl, thatll probably be difficult too. there may be listings somewhere by pwNPD, but im unaware of any.

i think the next best option is just to reach out to therapists in your area, or just as far as youre willing/able to travel, or as far as theyll take telehealth appointments - and ask them some questions. do some doctor shopping. this is an important decision and you need to know you can trust the person youll be opening up to. i would start by simply asking if they treat people with narcissistic personality disorder. some therapists may simply not have the expertise to offer such treatment, while others may actively refuse to do so, but either way, you want that yes/no answer. if they do treat pwNPD, you can continue to ask questions about their goals in treating pwNPD, the processes they use, their success rates with these patients.

i would be cautious in asking any questions that might even POSSIBLY come off as accusatory. directly asking a therapists opinions on narcissistic abuse may result in them slotting you into the "victim complex" role, or them feeling like theyre being put on the defense, even if they dont hold those beliefs. even those who dont see us fully as villains can still see us poorly. try to ask questions that are more common to what anyone would ask while researching a therapist, and take note of anything that seems off, or of if they seem particularly safe and affirming.

also!! please consider your insurance, if you have it! all my recent doctors have been referrals from other doctors, but in the past ive had to go on the site for my insurance and find a list of doctors who would take it. alternatively, you could ask upfront if they take your insurance.

beyond all this, i dont think theres any other advice i can give you. so ill give the floor to anyone who might have anything else to add, any resources, articles, websites, therapists, advice, words of encouragement, polite corrections to anything i might have gotten wrong.

if you read this far, thank you for your time, and thank you for trusting me to offer my help. i hope i could steer you in the right direction, because the sea is fucking rough out there. whether its NPD or something else youre struggling with, im happy to help you out, even if it takes me some time to reply. and once more for good measure: i wish you the best of luck, dignity, and care.

#asks #advice #teefiesworld #also ill put this in the tags since the post is mainly addressing diagnosis and research #but like. id kind of had NPD on the back of my mind for A While before actually researching it #like ''hmmm maybe i should look into that. nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'' #''why do i struggle so much to consider others? why do i detach so easily? why do i obsess over praise? oh well nbd lol'' #and i didnt give it much thought bc i didnt present very grandiosely #until eventually it gnawed at my brain enough that i researched vulnerable narcissism and had an entire breakdown of my self perception #over the course of. idk however long it took me to come to terms with my narcissism #its so funny bc i think people see treating NPD as involving a decrease in grandiosity #but for me i had to learn to INCREASE my grandiosity bc i was suppressing it so hard it was detrimental to me #all about striking that balance #not to say ive like. cured myself or whatever. but im absolutely way healthier than i used to be #bc i learned to identify those branches and roots and started adjusting my behavior #idk im ramblingggg but you asked about how i started seeking info and like #i dunno it was just kinda. i couldnt keep ignoring my symptoms and started with vulnerable narcissism and the DSM-5 and on from there iirc #btw imagine im telling you all this in like the corner of a cafe over some hot drinks n pastries or what have you. my digital treat to u