Tumgik
#so of course i rejected that i hate that there's such strong pressure to get hitched in our society
liquidluckandstuff · 4 months
Text
Harry having an eating disorder. All from Dursley abuse
He feels extremely uncomfortable eating in front of other people and only takes a bite when he thinks other people aren't looking.
Hides food in his pockets even after being there for months because he is so used to not knowing when he is going to be fed next.
Binging every now and again because he feels safe enough to eat and doesn't know when that will happen again but ends up throwing it all up later because he feels so guilty about wasting food on himself.
He loves that Mrs. Weasley wants to feed him, but hates how much pressure she puts onto him to eat.
Harry finds quiet hidden places in the castle to sit on the floor and snack on something he took from the Great Hall just so he can feel comfortable. He particularly likes cupboards
Shall I add in some Voldemort stuff too?
Harry has visions of Voldemort when he is feeling too strong of an emotion, but Voldemort has visions of Harry when he is just too hungry.
Harry got better about his problem, but after the graveyard its worse than ever.
Voldemort doesn't understand why Harry would do something like this to himself until Harry is sitting in the great hall and is afraid to eat a sandwich. It's not even just that. The boy can't sit at a table and take a bite at the same time. His mind is rejecting the thought.
He watches Harry take small bites in corridors or hiding in his bed. He watches as Harry gets thinner and thinner and has to glamor himself to hide how bad it's become.
He watches as Harry faints in the hallways after a detention with Umbridge because blood loss + no food = bad times.
It makes it all to easy to kidnap Harry. A starving mind is not in the right spot to defend itself.
He doesn't even want to kill Harry anymore. Not with as weak as he has become. It becomes more of an experiment.
He provides Harry with food and space.
one time he offered Harry lunch and of course Harry refused for every reason. Until Voldemort made them both a plate, vanished the chairs, and then crawled under the table to eat in silence. Harry thought it was ridiculous until suddenly the plate of food didn't look so intimidating and he was able to take a few bites.
Voldemort sees him hiding food, and offers him a snack or two every time he sees him even if they only separated for an hour.
He doesn't comment on Harry's appearance, and hides every mirror so Harry doesn't have to agonize over the way he looks everyone is always so obsessed with how he looks (just like your father except your eyes ) (he's so thin! Harry why dont' you grab an extra plate) (have you seen that scar?)
Slowly, Harry starts feeling more secure and joins others at the dinner table, although he still loves sitting on the floor with Voldemort in their own private time
and yeah sure Harry finds it really really hard to betray the man who sits with him and makes him breakfast just the way he likes it because he'd never had an option to try things like that before it's always just been decided for him
and then Harry's studies become better because now he can eat and has to make someone proud.
I can do this all fucking day
77 notes · View notes
italoniponic · 2 years
Note
Can i request the shy but kind gn s/o hcs for jack, leona, and azul? This is a different anon btw! I just really loved how you wrote it for deuce :)
𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭
| Notes: Hi, anon!
Ooh, this makes me so happy! Deuce’s was so sweet and I hope you like this one too. Leona’s part feels kinda different in comparison to the rest but I liked it nevertheless. It ended up being so wholesome just like this type of reader~ Thanks for the request <3
Also! We hit 301 followers today and I'm like so, so happy~~~ Thanks a lot, you all are the best! (I never comment much on this or when people compliment me still for the 100 followers just bc, even tho I should, but I just wanted to do today. I woke up in a good mood |
Jack Howl, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto x g!n shy but kind reader / fluff at extreme doses / crush to lovers / use of “you” pronouns
Cherry's Harvesting event 🍒 Masterlist
Kindness Within
Tumblr media
From the very beginning, the key word in your relationship with Jack — from friendship to love — is communication. Well, it’s difficult at first, as expected. The two of you aren’t big names in the art of social interaction but, in your own way, you can get through things. The difference is that you are shy and Jack is a reserved boy who holds a tough guy pose;
Although Jack is used to being a lone wolf, your kindness won his heart little by little. You might not have the loudest howl but you were fair, understanding and helpful to others. And your shy manner awakens a sense of protection in Jack that he didn’t have towards people outside his family;
That's why he gets a little agitated when he answers you and his words come out a little rude, which could make you sad and give up on getting closer to him. But you never misjudged him for it. It was even a little funny to watch him go from “you can't let others do stupid things” to “ah, it's not like I care for you or anything” to “n-no, wait...!” in a minute;
The day you confessed to each other and started dating was so funny. You two wanted to be nice to each other — and both were kinda nervous — and you kept passing the turn for each other to say the important thing you wanted to tell, getting stuck in this vicious circle for five minutes;
It was you who interrupted everything and confessed first. Jack stood there for a moment, surprised and shocked. You almost interpreted his expression as a warning that he was going to reject you and because he noticed your restlessness, Jack ended up saying very loudly that he liked you to make sure you heard it before running out of there. The ones who suffered the most were your friends who witnessed this occasion, hidden in the bushes;
One of the things Jack appreciates is how you let him have his personal space without pressuring him to do more than is possible for him to do. You two even talk about the things you want to improve in yourselves, but it's not like it's an obligation. You are young and have a long life ahead of you to develop in the best possible way;
While Savanaclaw may not be the place for you — and honestly, sometimes it feels like you've fallen into the jungle in the most literal sense — you enjoy stopping by and visiting Jack to study together or just spend time talking. Of course, you two don't escape hearing comments from other students. A loud growl from Jack and they run away, though still laughing;
Because you have this comfortable atmosphere of a listener, Jack gradually tells you stories from his childhood and things about himself that few people know. It's nice to have someone next to you who really listens to you and can laugh along, is what Jack thinks. And even if he doesn't say anything, his docile look when he faces you is enough;
While Jack cherishes your kindness to others and always comments on this being your strong point, he’ll also advise and warn you when people are abusing your charity too much or trying to use you for something. If there's one thing Jack hates, it's seeing such pure feelings being used for petty things;
For the first year group, you two serve as parents. Jack is the serious and grumpy “father” who ends up lecturing the others for making a mess and you’re the kind and sweet “mother” that they use as a shield when Jack is full of their shenanigans. You approach him shyly, asking him to be calm, and with enviable ease, you tame the beast inside him. He really can't stand scaring you unnecessarily;
Tumblr media
One of the beautiful things about your relationship is how you inspire Jack to open up to people more and he inspires you to have more courage in talking to people and speaking your mind when you have to. You are each other's strength and also the place where you can find unconditional comfort.
Being shy is usually hard enough. But being shy inside the big Night Raven College, where all the strong-willed and temperamental people gather, is like being a humble little mouse in the big savannah. Larger, carnivorous animals are everywhere, too big to notice you and at the same time, sensitive to everything you do;
So meeting Leona for the first time made you quite nervous initially. It was like tripping on the tail of a great and proud, yet lazy, lion. Culturally — at least in your world — the king of all that light touches. And you cringed yourself at his grandiosity but, not wanting to irritate him anymore, offered to do something for his tail that you stepped on unintentionally;
Leona would normally have understood this behavior as merely a cowardly attempt to relieve his ego but. you genuinely bent down to massage that painful part of his tail and offered to pay for a soda to compensate for it. It was your way of being kind, he realized. Throughout other of your random encounters, you got to know each other better;
You realized that Leona's strength shouldn’t be underestimated as much as the fact that he is harmless when you don’t actively try to annoy him beyond the tolerable. You were one of the few people — perhaps the only one — who cared for the good state of his nerves and, even if hesitantly, you asked others not to push him too much;
Leona noticed these little things in his own silence. A fearful little mouse helping a wounded lion, what an extraordinary thing. He'd never seen anything like it. Although shy, you had a good heart. You were kind to him and other people, even in the most difficult situations. Even when you lowered your own head. He could understand these moments;
Perhaps the most impressive moment of yours that Leona witnessed was when, one day, you gathered enough courage to say something important to him. “Leona, I love you! You...,” a pause, you took a deep breath. “... are an important person to me and I would like to stay by your side forever.” When you finished, you thought you were going to be rejected;
You didn't think Leona would be rude or anything, just that he would turn you down and ask you to forget about it. Because of this, you only closed your eyes slightly and tried to make your head stand still, like he taught you to do. Or try to. To your surprise, Leona nudged you and offered the vacant space where he was lying for you to stay. “I love you too, little mouse,” was what he meant by that gesture;
Needless to say, you are an unusual and weird couple in everyone’s eyes. But Leona didn't care about that and told you to do the same. You don't gain confidence or pomposity by osmosis but Leona always made you feel stronger. And wanting to be stronger somehow;
Conversations with Leona can last for a long time and it’s fun, especially for him. Your way doesn’t cease to interest him and your kindness captivates his heart day after day. If someone says anything about you, he is ready to defend you — something he never thought to do for anyone. Perhaps you can also inspire him to want something more;
You may not do everything for Leona but, Ruggie has delegated you the tasks of finding him for classes and bringing him lunch. In this, you practically eat together every day. There are times when you two are in a comfortable and relaxing silence, which makes Leona want to go back to sleep with you next to him. Unfortunately he doesn't care much if this makes your heart beat out of control and almost explode, but you’re free to decline the offer if you want; 
The favorite part of your dates for Leona is when you let him rest his head on your lap and he — pretends, actually — sleeps. He likes to feel your hand caressing his hair, making everything more comfy for him to have a quiet moment. Really, to have someone so kind in his life is a blessing.
Tumblr media
When Azul first saw you, a normal and shy human, he felt a certain instant empathy for you. It must be because you reminded him of what he was like as a young boy, shy, scared and awkward. Walking through a world that judged him too much by his nature. So even when Azul was able to talk to you, these feelings bothered him so he didn't get too heavy into his own schemes by including you;
At first, you couldn’t even imagine the reasons why Azul treats you a little better in comparison to others. You just thought it was his theatrical way of coming across as gentle, but still, you liked him. Little by little, it was as if a strange connection formed between you two and even after going through a lot, you never treated him badly;
“I d-don't find your octopus form ugly... it's who you are and it's already beautiful enough for me,” you once confessed. It had started because the twins were remembering childhood moments and Azul tried to stop them from commenting anything about how he was before. You listened to everything in silence, but for a certain time, you managed to say these kind words;
Well, having the three of them suddenly staring at you made your nervousness come back and you cringed a little, cheeks blushing more and more that you thought better about what you said. You didn't want to give away your feelings for Azul in this way, you didn't believe that he would ever reciprocate you. “Do you… think I'm beautiful?,” Azul asked. You met his eyes, touched and thrilled;
If there's one thing Azul admires about you, it's your genuine, natural kindness. Compared to him, who often has to pretend to care about others to attract them and do business and create debt, you help people effortlessly and that counts a lot more. So when you said something, Azul could trust your truthfulness. Especially if it was how much you loved him;
Most of your dates take place in the Azul’s office, the VIP room. Azul wishes you two could meet in a better place than his room for work and studies, but you like the quiet, private atmosphere of his office. Like a bubble, away from the energetic lounge. You two sometimes dined right there and shared your daily stories, celebrating victories and offering comfort in hardships;
As time passed, Azul’s heart softened and he dared to reveal some stories and memories from when he was little. Just a few. You always listened to him carefully and attentively, even if you didn't say anything, your eyes sparkled just imagining how cute Azul was when he was little. He doesn't know how to feel about that gaze of yours;
If you really want to, Azul is available to help you overcome your shyness. At least enough so that public speaking isn't a torture. He had to go through this process practically alone, train with himself in front of a mirror and continue on trial-and-error in real life. But, if you need to, you aren’t alone in this;
Perhaps because you're similar — and Azul has other introverted and shy friends around school — it sometimes feels like he knows exactly what you want without you having to say anything. Sometimes you’re staring too much at a certain product in the Mystery Shop or you’re tapping your foot to a specific song, nothing escapes Azul’s eyes. He is better at granting wishes than you imagined;
Once, Azul got a free afternoon in both of your schedules to take you to the coast part of the island to see the beach and the sea until late afternoon. You stayed close to the rocks, away from the city’s agitation. Azul sang a little to you and you two talked while watching the waves hit the sand. It was so quiet and comfortable;
The thing is, in the end, you and Azul complement each other very well. You may be shy and not talk much, but you like his flamboyant and funny way. It's what makes you laugh the most when you're alone. Azul likes the sound of your laughter, precisely because you’re mostly reserved. It’s one of the things that he is usually privileged to witness and he collects these memories like precious pearls.
564 notes · View notes
Note
May I suggest 32. from the 100 prompts list with vampire/kas Eddie?
Your wish is my command!
"This is, by far, the dumbest thing you've ever done."
Steve didn't even turn around, he was calmly checking his backpack and its contents. Several pairs of latex gloves, a face mask, a rope (why?), a huge fabric bag. There was even a ridiculous hat to cover his infamous hair. "So you've said," he quipped back, giving Eddie a humorless smile. "And not just once."
Eddie threw up his hands, frustrated. "Yeah, and did it help, Steve? Reconsidering yet so I can change my repertoire?"
"I can reconsider. As long as you will."
The tiny spark of hope in Eddie's chest got cruelly extinguished. "I'm not letting you bleed into bottles, Harrington, you or anyone else. Besides, we don't even know if I CAN drink cold blood. You know. Displaced. Out of its natural habitat."
Steve just scoffed and grabbed a bottle of cleaner and a rug, stuffed them in the backpack. "You can just, I don't know, microwave it. Heat it up on a stove. What do I know, you're the wild one according to Henderson. Get creative."
Eddie groaned. He hated that it made some twisted sort of a sense. Very twisted. "I'm not microwaving your blood, Steve."
"Well, then we're out of options." Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes. Eddie felt like kissing him stupid, except this - but not Steve, never Steve - was already so stupid. "Look. I don't really enjoy committing crimes either, Eddie. But I need to be sure you're getting what you need if something happens. At least for a few days. Your...condition," and Eddie had to laugh at that, condition, as if that somehow encompassed him becoming a fucking Upside Down vampire, "...requires blood. There's no changing that. Yet. Maybe ever. I don't care if you decide to, I don't know, sleep hanging from the stairs or wear capes, but I'm making sure you're not hungry if someone can't get to you in time. I'd be a shitty boyfriend if I didn't do at least that."
He took a few steps towards Eddie, touched his lips. The canines were sharp and Eddie could feel the pressure against his teeth, Steve's fingertip pushing inside his mouth and intentionally puncturing the skin, drawing blood. Eddie held his hand and licked the would clean, kissing the finger. There had been times when he was nervous, tried to push Steve away to avoid hurting him. But for some reason, Steve kept repeating this small gesture, again and again, until Eddie understood that it was just like a small kiss to Steve, a sign of affection. Eddie could never reject that.
He kissed Steve's palm and pulled him into a hug, running hands over that strong back, the arms that wanted to hold him too. "How did I ever deserve you?" he whispered into the crook of Steve's neck. The blood was calling to him, of course it was, but at this point so were Steve's eyes, hands, lips. Steve's everything. "Having me as a boyfriend has to suck anyways, but as a vampire? Double sucks."
Steve chuckled into his hair and slapped his ass. "Well, good thing I like it when you suck," he whispered and pulled Eddie closer. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Eddie. I'll do anything for you. You know that."
It should have been embarassing, hearing such a confession, but Eddie had already known. He had known because he's painfully aware he'd do anything for Steve too. "Likewise, Stevie. But you shouldn't have to."
"I know. But I want to." Stealing a short kiss, Steve pulled back and zipped up his backpack. "Now, are you driving me to rob that blood bank or am I going to be all by my lonesome?"
Eddie sighed deeply and grabbed the car keys. "Let's go, master criminal."
If you liked this drabble, check out the prompt list and send me an ask!
79 notes · View notes
killuaisaprincess · 1 year
Text
when the first love ends
it hurts so much, the pressure building and clenching against his lungs, making it hard to breathe. It’s okay. He can feel Alluka’s warmth nearby. It’s okay.
It’s okay.
He loves Alluka. He loves Nanika. When that memory had been torn out of him, it left an odd feeling of cold, rotting in his bones. A cold he could bear, even if it made him shake on some nights. It was filled when he got to see her again. Them again.
He made this choice. He made it.
Warmth surges through his back, and he jumps, wiping away tears.
“Big Brother. I don’t mind, you know. We don’t mind. As long as we get to spend time with you, we can do it with sixty other people!”
Alluka spreads out her arms as wide as she can to make a point, grinning.
B-but…
What does it matter…?
That’s not what Gon wants…
That’s never been… Killua’s never been part of Gon’s goal; he’s just a thorn in his side.
He can feel the pressure of two hands, this time pushing him forward, and he stumbles.
It feels like a dream, walking forward in a daze; while both the hands had been Alluka’s, something made it feel like both of theirs, Nanika and Alluka’s pushing him on.
A blur of monochrome colors, until he sees that green, and he reaches out and grabs just the edge of Gon’s sleeve.
Time starts to move again before he can take it back. He can’t stop the overflow of the tears, or the trembling of his fingers, grasping on by a thread, a hiccup leaving his lips, followed by a set of words.
“D-Don’t go…”
He starts to sob, crashing to the floor, his knees scraping against the ground and tearing skin, as he lets go of Gon’s sleeve.
This is just a tantrum.
Gon looks shell-shocked. Of course, he does… Killua can feel Alluka’s palm on his back; she stands there unwavering as he curls up, burying his face into his sleeves, wailing.
“K-Killua…”
He doesn’t want to hear that rejection burn his ears. Even though he braces for it, taking comfort in Alluka’s warmth upon his back.
“Killua.”
Gon leans down, and Killua slowly lowers his arms, afraid.
Gon doesn’t look mad; he has a sad smile as he gently holds a hand out.
“Killua. When’s the last time you got some decent sleep?”
When…?
Has he ever… even…? It’s been forever…
He shakes his head, sniffling, and Gon smiles softly, getting on one knee and gesturing his hand out more for Killua.
“Ooohh… Gon, you’re kinda acting like a prince on a white horse right now…!”
Alluka giggles, reassuringly patting Killua’s back.
“Although, mmm, your outfit kinda sucks…”
Gon hates him…
Gon laughs, looking up at her, using his free hand to rub his neck, sticking his tongue out.
“You and Killua are pretty alike; he’s told me the same thing!”
Gon must hate him now…
“Killua?”
Killua looks up slowly, tears dripping down his face, and he rubs at his flushed cheeks in a daze.
Gon hates him…
But Gon isn’t wearing a scowl, just a gentle, concerned smile.
“Can you stand?”
Alluka removes her hand, taking a hop back, and Killua reaches out slowly, all so tentatively grasping Gon’s hand with dainty fingers.
Gon pulls him up gently, and Killua stumbles right into Gon’s arms, and Gon catches him, a strong arm around his waist.
“Careful.”
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
Tears well up in his eyes again, and he leans down, pressing his face into Gon’s chest.
Ba bump. Ba bump.
Breathe.
Breathe…!
“Sorry, I’m so sorry.”
‘You should be! I had to run myself around ragged for you!’
Killua can’t even bring himself to play it off like that again, shaking his head, his legs buckling.
Gon catches him before he falls, scooping him up in his arms.
Killua presses his hand to Gon’s chest, feeling the warmth through his fingers.
Warm.
Warm…
Warm-
“Killua! Killua?”
He snaps out of his daze, gasping; Gon’s staring at him with a guilty look, Alluka’s hand hovering near.
“I’m sorry, I really-!”
Killua cuts him off, wrapping his arms around Gon’s neck and hugging tightly, burying his face between the midpoint of his chest and neck.
Gon’s breath gets caught in his throat.
“Killua…?”
Gon holds him closer, trying to give comfort, which he isn’t sure he’s allowed to give.
Killua looks up, his nose bright red from crying, that hue splattered across the rest of his face, even reaching his ears.
“Idiot! Stop apologizing! I-I don’t want it…”
He tucks his chin down, biting on his lower lip.
“I-I…”
“We just want you to stay.”
Alluka steps in front of Gon’s path, arms behind her back, feet pressed together.
Killua can feel the color drain from his face, and he hides in Gon’s jacket, he doesn’t want to let go, but he wants to cover his ears…
“Of course. You know… maybe I’ll have Ging look for me!”
Killua uncurls his fingers slowly, unaware he had been gripping Gon’s jacket so tightly.
“Right?”
Killua peeks up slowly, and Gon beams down at him.
Killua nods slowly, giving a small soft grin.
“Right… That’s what the idiiiiottttt gets!”
He looks over at Alluka, who giggles.
thank you…
9 notes · View notes
marinehero-a · 1 year
Note
"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, JIJI?!" { oh ouch okay right before Marineford from almost-not-quite-yet marine traitor Buggy- }
@indomiitas — MARINE BUGGY .
Tumblr media
ლ.    When would the nightmare end ?
     His footsteps finally came to a halt, his hands in tight fists by his side, almost trembling from the pressure. Whose side ?   The brat had the damn nerve to ask whose side ?
“ This is a matter of our duty and justice, brat ! ”    Garp spat out vehemently, cold and harsh as if he believed them  ( he didn’t  he had to ).  Tilting his head back, but not enough to meet Buggy’s eyes. He didn’t want to look at the betrayal and disbelief he knew would be there. It hurt. It hurt more than it had any damn right to. But he refused to waver. He wouldn't be called a hero if he couldn't keep steady when he wanted to do anything but.
“ Ace knew damn well what he was signing up for when he chose to become a pirate, and we both know it. ”
     The irony of the situation was far from lost. How could it be, when just the other day he was in Sengoku’s office, screaming and raging himself ?   The same sentiment he expressed now mirrored that of then, except Sengoku's words had been far heavier. Weighed down by the knowledge that he'd known. Of course, he’d been aware of his betrayal. He always had been, and Garp wished he hadn’t looked so disappointed.
    Sengoku would spare them the consequences, continue to pretend as though he was oblivious to their betrayal, because that was the most he could do. Neither of them could prevent Ace’s fate anymore. Not when the world was waiting with bated breath. Not when the Government knew of the truth.
“ You knew that this would’ve been the outcome. There is nothing more for us to do, ”    he continued even as the words felt like tar in his throat. Choking him. Really, he just wanted to laugh. How he just wanted to laugh and avoid reality in it.
    He was about to go to war to have the right to kill his grandson. He had no idea if Luffy was safe after the stunts he’d pulled. And Buggy looked a hair away from throwing the past two decades into the sea, because he didn’t understand.
    He had to understand. Garp had to make him understand. He was already going to lose Ace, he couldn’t lose another one of his brats. Did Buggy think Roger wanted the both of them to die ?
     ( Roger would have just saved them both himself. He’d never been afraid of being that selfish, the bastard. “ Save my— ”   don’t think of him. )
“ I won’t force your hand in participation, but you will not interfere, understood ?  That is an order, ”   His voice was deathly serious. Strict and commanding in all the ways he never was. It crawled at his skin, his body and mind wanting nothing more than to gag and reject it. But Garp refused to let it falter for even a second.
    Buggy would hate him, he knew, and he wished that it didn’t tear further at his already scarred heart. Buggy would hate him, but at least he’d be alive. He’d be safe —  protected in the way he’d failed to with Ace and Luffy.
    He had to stay strong, for both of their sakes.
    ...But what if he did so in a different way ?  What if he listened ?   What if he followed ?   What if he turned his back on the Marines, a traitor-hero ?   He could. He’d already entertained the thought more times than he was proud to admit. He could bring Ace out of Impel Down; he was long acquainted with the warden and staff. They would never see it coming, trusting him after all he’d done for them, after he’d nearly single-handedly filled half their prison. It wasn’t impossible.
    Except it was. Even regardless of how the thought of betraying their trust —  Magellan, Sengoku, Tsuru, Kuzan  — made him sick, he was old. Strong, yes, but he was far past his prime. He couldn’t take on the three admirals or Sengoku while trying to protect Ace and Buggy. And how doubtlessly they’d be hunted. Ruthlessly, before the public could get word that the Navy Hero turned on the marines. Because it would have to be kept a secret, lest the world lose faith in them. 
     ( Most days, it was easy to forget how suffocated it could feel. It wasn’t then. He loved the marines, he loved his duty. But the cold apathy of the Government was something that would forever disgust him. He didn’t do it for them. He did it for the people they protected. )
Tumblr media
“ I know you're not an idiot, Buggy. So don't choose now to start acting like one, ”   he said heavily as he kept his back straight and facing towards the brat he'd raised for the past twenty years,   “ Don’t do anything rash. Or I’ll be the one to capture you myself. ”
    It was a threat, but maybe an empty one. He wasn’t sure if he could do it, if it came to it. Wasn’t sure if he could bear knowing another death of his family was on his hands. Yet he couldn’t get rid of the image of the brat dead on the ground —  magma, ice, light, poison, shot or decapitated with haki, there were so many ways for things to go wrong —  hands reaching towards Ace seconds too late, as Garp just watched. Would he watch as they killed both his grandsons ?  Or would he act ? 
     He didn’t know, nor did he want to find out. By the sea, don’t make him find out, no matter how selfish it was to ask.
2 notes · View notes
prismatoxic · 2 months
Text
for a while now i've had this persistent idea of nate becoming soft and adoring later on, but i was never fully sure how i was supposed to reconcile that with his hair-trigger temper and violence at the start of his arc. however... i was talking to a friend the other day and it finally clicked.
after his dad leaves, nate starts learning how to be the person he thinks he's supposed to be. masculine, strong, stoic, capable... you know, all that jazz. toxic masculinity distilled down into a ten year old who's coping with abandonment. his mom gently corrects him where she can, and she knows he's a sweet kid, but to nate... being sweet and soft is part of what made his dad not want him. so he starts trying to fix it.
his mom and ryan both are the most positive forces in his life, but johnny is reinforcing his warped ideals. nate learns that he needs to act a certain way with everyone; his public persona mostly defaults to what johnny expects, however, because johnny is most likely to disapprove if nate slips. he wants to be the man his father expected. he wants to be the man johnny thinks he is. he wants to be the man his mom is worried about, that ryan is exasperated by, too--because it's just what he's come to be known for. changing now will be strange. changing now is defeat. he's at least still unguarded with his mom, but... she's learned what buttons can't be pressed. nate will still clam up and pull back emotionally if the wrong things are said.
to maintain this, nate's adopted a mantra of "fake it til you make it", but more accurately, he's got a chokehold on his inner self at all times. everything within him that threatens to step out of line from this image he maintains is heavily suppressed.
to put it bluntly, he's fucking exhausted.
spending all his time carefully analyzing himself to only let out what furthers the "correct" perception of others is fucking tiring! and what does being worn thin do to people? makes them snappy. makes them lash out. makes them irrational. but all those things are "masculine"... so they're allowed to stay.
nate is always angry because he's burnt out from ratcheting up the tension on his emotional restraints at all times. when things do slip, when he's too tired to maintain it, he gets angrier. seeing him cry is usually accompanied by screaming. sentimentality is met with annoyance. love? god. he hates it. especially because he's gay--love, for him, happens only with men, and that's the worst thing he can imagine in terms of who he's supposed to be.
but at 23, an adult with a job and his own place and his own life, nate doesn't realize that the only person who expects him to be that is himself.
sure, johnny has some ideas about it, but they've been through so much together that he'd readily forgive nate for being something else. ryan and his mom would be so proud of him. his fans wouldn't mind, nor would his coworkers, nor would anyone else he spends time with... he's the only one.
and the reason why this shift tends to happen when he falls in love isn't because love fixes him, but because letting someone into his life intimately just about forces him to start opening up. he doesn't have to, of course, and doesn't for a while, but once it starts... once he feels safe enough to let the walls down...
...they all come down.
he lets the tension go slack and can't regain control of it again. the restraints fall away and his heart is left to do as it wants. this part of him is scared, still, but when he allows himself to not worry so much about the things he feels, the things people see him feeling... he finds himself less emotionally worn. the pressure's gone, his pent up emotions now free to spread out. he doesn't feel like lashing out anymore.
he still gets angry... and he's jealous and possessive and sensitive to rejection and abandonment to the point that he sees it when it isn't there. but that hair-trigger temper, like he's always a second from snapping, is gone. he has the strength to think things through because it isn't all diverted to something else.
he's got a ways to go, even then, in terms of being healthy with his emotions and the ways he handles things. but the persistent rage, the irrationality, it's not something he struggles with anymore. he can actually start healing.
1 note · View note
Text
I feel so sorry for Wilhelm when he apologises to Simon during their final hug. When Simon rejects this apology and wishes him a nice Christmas and he says “thank you, Simon” you can see in his face that he is not surprised by this response. He expected this. But i’m sure there was some part of him, deep inside hoping he could make all this go away by simply apologising. And you can see in his eyes that he is sorry, so, so sorry. Don’t get me wrong, Simon was treated terribly and he was completely right to do what he did but Wilhelm was under so much more pressure. Before he denies that it was him in the video, we see him contemplating but he was under so much pressure and receiving so much hate and unwanted attention that I’m 100% sure that in his mind this was not selfishness or ignorance but self protection and the easiest way out. Of course it hits him afterwards, he panic texts Simon, he is aware of what he just did and he desperately wants to fix it. But he did not count on Simon being so strong and final in his decision. So no, I don’t really think he actually expected his forgiveness after the final hug but he is so clearly sorry. He completely underestimated the severity of the pain this would cause Simon because from his point of view, he was stopping the shitstorm and protecting them or himself. He misjudged everything. His eyes are full of sadness and regret.
250 notes · View notes
saintshigaraki · 3 years
Text
HERE, IN THE MORNING LIGHT, IS WHERE WE’LL BARE OUR SOULS
Tumblr media
pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x f!reader 
words: 3.2k
excerpt: Really, how many times can you blame Ushijima for breaking your heart when you’re the one who can’t seem to stop handing it to him -- on a silver fucking platter no less. 
a/n: this is...a bit too similar to my bakugou drabble i’ll admit. but i could see a relationship with ushijima having some of the same problems. he’s not purposely cruel, but god, doesn’t that just make it so much worse?
tags: angst, mentions of alcohol, implied sex, reader is full of rage, ambiguous/open ending
in case you want to read it on ao3!
Tumblr media
You greet Toshi at the door, as you’ve made a habit of doing when he manages to come home before you’ve fallen asleep.
(Like a well-trained dog, you think, with only the most bitter sort of amusement.) 
When you lift your hand up to cup his face, a sweet hello, love, how was your day? on your lips, he sweeps it aside (gently, of course. He's always so sickeningly gentle when he brushes you aside. You think that might just make the hollow sting of his nonchalant rejection that much worse.)
“Have you made anything for dinner?” he asks, already walking away before you have a chance to pull him down for a kiss. Your arm falls unceremoniously at your side. A deadweight, swinging. 
I think I might hate you, you want to say, so,  so badly. The words are there, right on the tip of your tongue as you stand frozen in the darkened entryway, his shadow stretches, eclipsing you, as he walks further and further away.
But these moments of sweet burning-hot rage pass as quickly as they come and soon -- too soon, maybe, or not soon enough -- you find yourself turning on your heels and shining a too-bright smile, the one that shows too many teeth and leaves an ache in your cheeks. 
“Not yet, love, but I can whip up something real quick.” 
The words taste like lead in your mouth.
(Or maybe that's just the blood from biting your tongue.)
Who knows, you muse, bitterly, bitingly. What does it matter anyway? 
You make your way towards the kitchen.
+
Later that night, after he’s finished fucking you into the mattress, he grunts out an I love you, before rolling over and promptly falling asleep. 
His cum is sticky and uncomfortable as it cools on your burning thighs. 
You stare at the lights sweeping across the ceiling from the passing cars and try to remember days when you didn’t feel as though someone had hollowed out everything that made you and filled in the empty space with barely contained rage. 
Rationally, you know you weren’t always so unhappy with Ushijima. You loved him -- you still do -- you have for years. You could barely contain your tears of joy when he asked you to marry him and you didn’t manage to contain them at all the day you officially tied the knot. 
You were so happy then. So, so, happy. 
What happened? 
(You know exactly what happened.)
You’ve made sacrifice after sacrifice for him. Moved from country to country. Left your family and friends behind more times than you can count. Because you love Toshi. Because you love him more than anything. And because he loves you, though you know he doesn’t love you more than anything. It’s a selfish gripe to have. A rather dumb one too. Of course he doesn’t love you more than volleyball. Why should he? He’s dedicated his whole life to the sport. Countless hours, countless injuries, and setbacks, and he’s persevered through it all because that's what he does. Because that sport, that court, that stupid fucking ball, is what he loves above all else. 
It’s not as if you jumped into this marriage wholly and totally blind. You’re not dumb. You knew volleyball was going to be a priority in his life,  the priority. And you thought you could handle that. You did handle it. For 5 years you’ve handled it, the constant moving, the last minute canceled plans, the weeks of him traveling that have left you all alone for near months at a time in a cold home with a cold bed. You’ve handled it all with a too-wide smile plastered painfully across your face. 
But things have -- shifted, recently. Maybe it’s the pressure of what could very well be his last Olympics coming up in these next few years, maybe it’s the fear of someone younger, better, stronger than him taking his place, or maybe, he simply doesn’t give all that much of a  fuck about you anymore. 
(You know that’s not true. Wakatoshi loves you. You know that. Which is what makes this all so much worse.)
I love you, isn’t that enough? he’d said bluntly, and maybe a bit confused, last time you brought up your concerns after the third canceled date in a row. 
His words had made you pause. Was it enough? Why isn’t it enough? Shouldn’t it be enough?
At the time, you’d thought, maybe. Maybe I can make it enough. 
A year later and you’ve come to the realization that it simply -- isn’t enough. Maybe if you were a different person, a slightly better person, it’d be enough. But you’re not. You’re you, a strange, toxic concoction of hollow fury and selfish desires (for comfort, for love, for anything more than whatever this is).
You roll over on your side to face your husband. He’s on his back, like he always is when he sleeps, completely dead to the world. 
He’s statuesque, unmovable, untouchable, even now. 
You gently brush your finger over his brow, sweeping his hair to the side, and tracing his strong jawline. You’ve done this a thousand times. You’ve memorized every curve, every freckle, every scar. You’ve mapped countless constellations across his skin. 
You don’t hate him, you realize, in the dark suffocating silence of the night. Not yet, at least. There’s still too much love for him in your heart. Still too many memories of brighter days. Sweeter days. Gentler days. 
He’s been good to you. As good as a man like him is capable of being. And you love him so, so dearly for it. 
He has tomorrow off, maybe -- maybe you should talk to him. There’s still time to salvage this. There’s still so much love for him in your heart, enough to drive out the hate. You know it. 
He has tomorrow off, you repeat to yourself. The first full day he’s taken off in a month. 
You’ll talk to him then. 
You have to. 
+
The morning light is what wakes you. The gentle rays kiss your cheeks so sweetly. 
Without fully opening your eyes, you reach towards Ushi only to be met with -- cool sheets. 
Your stomach drops painfully and it's as though he’s taken your heart in his hands and just squeezed. 
You open your eyes, wearily, tiredly, and the morning light no longer seems so sweet. It’s mocking. A cruel, bitter reminder of better days and broken promises. 
You crawl out of bed, trying to stay optimistic -- maybe he just went for a morning jog -- even though you know that on days he has off he likes to sleep in. You try desperately to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he promised and you want so badly to still be able to believe him, even after everything. 
He used to have every Saturday and Sunday free, then around three years ago it turned into every Sunday, then a year and a half ago it turned into every other Sunday, and recently -- well, it’s been a while. A long, long while. 
But he promised he’d stay home today. 
He promised, you repeat as you stumble around the apartment only to find it painfully silent, empty, and so, so cold. 
You collapse on the couch, hunched over, your head hanging pitifully into your hands. You take a deep, pathetically shaky breath. 
And then you laugh. 
You laugh so hard you nearly heave. 
Two years ago, you would’ve cried. A year ago, you would’ve screamed. 
But now? Who do you really have to blame, but yourself? How can you not laugh? How can you not laugh at just how stupid and gullible you are? 
Really, how many times can you blame Ushijima for breaking your heart when you’re the one who can’t seem to stop handing it to him -- on a silver fucking platter no less. 
This is your fault. And it has been for a long while now. 
It’s time to move on. 
+
You book a one-way flight home -- you haven’t been back in so long. Too long, you know. You stuff as much as you can into your single suitcase and pitiful carry-on bag. It’s all strangely methodical and robotic. You’re calmer than you’ve been in months. 
This is how it was always going to end. Honestly, you don’t think there was really supposed to be another option, any other way out. You don’t think this mess was ever going to be fixed. It was stupid of you to ever believe otherwise. 
By the time you’ve managed to compose yourself, get your affairs in order, and meticulously pack away as much as you can, the sun has started to dip below the horizon. 
The clock reads 9:18 PM. Your flight is in a few hours. You’ll have to get going soon. 
You pick out the nicest, most expensive bottle of red wine in your home. You were going to save it for when Ushi made the national team again but, as you’ve learned rather painfully, sometimes plans change. 
You pour yourself a glass, but in the end, can’t bring yourself to take a single sip. 
That’s how Ushi finds you, sitting at the kitchen table, toying with a glass of wine. There’s only the lone kitchen light lit in the apartment. The shadows dance around him, dark and monstrous, ready to swallow you both whole. 
Wakatoshi has never been particularly skilled at reading social cues but you can tell from the slight tilt of his head that he knows somethings wrong. You wonder if he knows exactly how wrong. 
(Not that it would really change anything if he did.)
The thud of his gym bag hitting the floor echoes too loudly in the silent apartment. 
He steps into the kitchen like he does all other things -- with purpose, with confidence. It will never not leave you in awe, even now, how sure he always is of himself. He’s a blunt force weapon, he always has been, and you can’t imagine a time where he’ll be anything but. 
He stops at the opposite end of the table. It’s the beginning of the same song and dance you two have done time and time again when he breaks his little promises. 
His big ones too. 
(You think of when he had missed your five-year anniversary dinner for a last-minute practice. He hadn’t forgotten about the reservation, he’d told you after he’d returned home to you sitting alone at the kitchen table, half-drunk and livid, but people were relying on him, is what he’d said, and there’s always next year.)
This routine is comforting, if only in the cruelest way. 
We can put on a show, just this last time, you think. For old time’s sake. 
Your eyes fall back down to your glass as you speak. “You said you’d stay home today.”
You look back up just in time to see him opening his mouth. No doubt getting ready to cycle through the same set of excuses he’s been using for the past four years. 
A teammate called. 
I needed the extra practice. 
There’s a skill I need to perfect. 
The Olympics are 4 years away...3 years away...2 years away....you know that, love.
And, of course, no matter his reason, his excuse, he always makes sure to add, I’ll stay home next Sunday, I promise. 
He doesn’t intend for that last part to be cruel, you’re sure of it, but God, if that doesn’t make it so much worse. 
You cut him off before he can even start. “You promised.”
His brows furrow at your exhausted, weary tone. “There was a team meeting today, I’m sorry I forgot to mention it to you. It went on longer than I expected it would. We can still go out to dinner if you’d like.” 
You give him a sad sort of smile. You’re too tired to give him any other. “I don’t think I’ll have time for that, love.”
Ushijima’s left brow twitches, as it always does when he doesn’t quite understand what’s going on. 
He takes a step forward, around the table. “What do you mean? Are you going out tonight?” 
You shake your head softly. “No, Toshi.”
You can’t help but wish more than anything, that it didn’t have to come to this, because you have loved him so much, so deeply, and you think that for it to end like this is a disservice to you both. 
His jaw clenches, no doubt already trying to contain his frustration. He’s probably tired after his long day. An argument over something like this is probably the last thing he wants. A good wife would care more. A good wife might’ve persevered, smiled through her husband's little lies and shattered promises. A good wife might’ve tried harder. A good wife might’ve dug her heels in, instead of letting go completely. 
But you’re not a good wife. Not now, at least. For all you know, you never were. You’ve always been just a bit too bitter, too selfish, too flawed. Not willing enough to throw yourself on the metaphorical altar for him. 
He’s close enough now that he can see the suitcase at your side. It stops him dead in his tracks. 
“What’s going on?” His tone is hard, demanding, but you know him too well to miss the fear that pulls at the corner of his eyes. 
Ushijima Wakatoshi is a lot of things. But he’s certainly not dumb. He has to know what’s going on. He has to have known that, eventually, this was what was going to happen. 
You stand up slowly, bracing your palms against the rough wood of the tabletop. 
“I-” you let out a harsh, mean breath. You hate that you’re doing this. But you’d hate yourself more if you didn’t. And you know you’d grow to hate him too, eventually, if you stay. You’re burning up here in this home, each broken promise and cold night add fuel to the already raging fire. You’ll be nothing but ashes soon enough. “I can’t do this anymore, Wakatoshi.” 
His pretty olive eyes narrow. The look he gives you is practically glacial. His fury has always been so, so cold. A stark contrast to your burning rage. 
He takes a deep breath. “I don’t understand.” His words are slow, methodical, and too even.
They crack open something violent inside your chest, something with teeth. Something mean and ugly and so, so sad. 
Too many years of biting your tongue have culminated into this moment. It’s time to strip yourself to the bone, to the ugly marrow. No matter how painful or awful. 
Don’t you two deserve that, at least? Don’t you two deserve to part ways having seen the worst of each other? 
“Of course you don’t understand, Ushijima,” you spit out, caustic and cruel. “How can you?” The laugh you let out is ripped from the very bottom of your heart, mean and poisonous. “Or more accurately, why would you? Why would you even bother understanding? It’s not like my unhappiness has ever really meant anything to you before-”
He cuts in sharply. “You know that’s not true.”
“No,”  you hiss. “I don’t. How can I? I’ve been miserable for years now, left to beg for scraps of your attention like a fucking dog. I’ve reduced myself to this pathetic creature. I-” tears cloud your vision, far faster than you can blink them away. “I don’t even recognize myself anymore, Ushijima. I’m so--I’m so angry all the time and if I stay here that’s going to be all that’s left of me.”
It’s silent after your outburst and in the air is something awful and too great. You’re both teetering on the edge of something terrifying. 
“If you stay with me, you mean,” he says, finally, and far too soft for a man like him. All signs of his previous fury have fled and in his eyes is a painful sort of vulnerability.
Your anger dissipates with his, mostly because you’re so fucking tired of being angry. 
Is it really his fault, anyway? What exactly were you expecting of him, when you took his last name? Were you really wanting him to change something so fundamental, so ingrained in his soul, just for you? How unfair of you, you realize now, how cruel. 
“Toshi.” You’re exhausted. And so sick of being second best. “This is more my fault than it is yours. I thought I could handle what being married to you would entail but I was,” -- you laugh, far less biting than before-- “very wrong.” You close your eyes, unable to look at him. “And now I suppose we’re both paying the price for it.” 
“I love you,” he says, bluntly. “And you love me.”
You’re finally able to meet his eyes again. You take in the planes of his face, the subtle pain etched into every corner, a brutal, beautiful reflection of the years you’ve spent by his side. 
“I do love you, Ushijima. More than anything.” 
“Then why are you doing this?” 
You swallow hard. “Sometimes, that just isn’t enough, Toshi. Relationships require more than love. They require work, and compromise, and some semblance of care and dedication, and you just-- you just don’t have the time for that right now, and I understand that. But I can’t keep doing this to myself. I deserve-” you stop and give yourself a moment to choose your words carefully, lovingly because you’re desperate for him to just understand. “We deserve better, don’t you think?”
He shakes his head, his hair falls in his eyes. You sweep it aside, a force of habit after all these years, something you’ve done a million and one times. Before you can jerk your arm back he grips it in his large hand. His fingers wrap around your wrist, unyielding. 
“I need you,” Toshi says, uncharacteristically desperate. You can feel the heat radiating off his chest. It's a twisted sort of comfort. Knowing this may very well be the last time you’ll be in this position. 
You smile, sweetly and a bit sadly. “No, you don’t, Ushi. You need volleyball. You need the thrill of the game and the taste of victory but you don’t need me. You’ve never needed me. And that’s okay.” You lift your other hand up to brush the stray tear that’s fallen from his eye. He nuzzles into your palm before you can move it, clinging to you like some sort of lifeline. “It’ll be okay, Toshi, we’ve just reached the end of our road. That’s all.”
He raises a shaky hand to trace the dried tracks of tears on your cheek, it’s startling to see him so uncomposed. “Please,” he nearly begs, “don’t do this.”
In your heart, there’s an odd brew of grief and rage and pain and love so mean you know you’ll feel the ache of it for years to come. 
You think of all the shattered promises he’s left at your feet, you think of the gentle way he’s held you through the years, you think of his string of nonchalant rejection, you think of yourself, bright and burning. 
Your mind spins from it and all you can do is rest your head against his chest and close your eyes.
Tumblr media
a/n pt 2: there is some untapped potential in the fed up housewife genre and i am determined to unearth it. also i love ushi i promise i think he’d be a great husband under most circumstances
1K notes · View notes
hollandcrush · 3 years
Text
exquisite
Tumblr media
tom holland x stylist!reader
summary: temptation gets the better of you two during the esquire photoshoot. 
word count: 3,631
warnings: just smut with minimal plot tbh minors dni 18+, a dash of fluff, mutual pining, questionable behaviour, slight exhibitionism/public sex?, dirty talk, body worship, praise, marking, cursing, fingering, overstimulation, unprotected sex (be smarter), a hint of aftercare. 
a/n: hi... again. i know i need to get my act together pls don’t hate me. um so this is inspired solely by that photo ^^ um i didn’t go for the prof vibes oops anyways. i passed my exams, i know i’m smart lol who would’ve thought. honestly feel so much better, i get v anxious bc i always think i’m gonna fail. but hope you enjoy this, any feedback would be appreciated. sorry for any mistakes x
▾▾▾
Big opportunities do not come around often, so when Esquire magazine asks you to style for their March issue, you could not refuse. Walking around the location, your mind began to fill with pressuring thoughts. This had to be perfect, no fuck ups. It was your first big gig, and you hoped it would not be your last.
Setting up in a trailer, you made sure everything was ready. Outfits were ironed, jewellery was clean. You had prepared for weeks for this one shoot; you could not afford for this to fail. A knock on the trailer stopped your anxious fiddling. “Hello Y/N? Tom is in his trailer waiting.” A voiced called through the door. Fuck. You forgot you had to also do hair and makeup due to the limited amount of people allowed on set.
Grabbing a coat, you ran across to Toms trailer knocking before you entered. “Hello, you must be Y/N?” A pair of warm brown orbs greeted. Smiling, you nodded. “And you must be Tom.” You stated. Of course you knew the man that stood before you was Tom Holland, he was one of the biggest superhero’s after all.
“You’d be correct.” He grinned before taking a seat in the chair that was placed in front of the mirror. You had already set up your equipment prior to his arrival. His regular stylist told you what products she used, instead of risking it, you played it safe. Tom noticed this before. “So, I see you talked to my stylist.”
The heat rose to your cheeks as you began to weave some product through his hair. You cleared your throat, trying to ease your nerves. “Yeah, I didn’t want this to become a disaster, so I thought best to just use what she does.”
It was quiet after that. Tom went on his phone, while you focused on the task at hand. It didn’t take too long; the magazine wanted a simple look- thankfully. You sprayed some setting spray, before informing him you had to go to your trailer to grab the first outfit. “Nonsense. I’ll go with you.”
Tom opened the door for you, offering a hand for you to climb down the steep steps. Gladly, you accepted. His hand was soft, well taken care of. “Have you been doing this long?” He queried, breaking the awkward silence.
“Not really, I started off as a writer in a fashion magazine, but I didn’t like it. So here I am. Still trying to figure out what I want from life.” You chuckled, rubbing your palm.
“So, this is temporary?”
“Yeah, I suppose. I would much prefer designing, that’s what I went to college for. Tough to find a job however.” You confided as you reached the rectangular block.
Tom once again, opened the door allowing you to enter. He followed suit closely behind you. “Well, I hope you find a good job that you love. I mean everyone deserves to be happy with their work.”
The simple comment gave you a sudden burst of warmth in your body. Not everyone was supportive of your dreams, especially because it seemed as though they would never come true. But you worked hard, hoping one day it will all pay off. It was nice to hear some optimism occasionally, especially when you were surrounded by doubters. You mumbled a ‘thank you’ before showing him the first outfit. A simple black turtleneck with some flared pants and Rolex.
He smiled before you exited, giving him some privacy as you waited outside. The cold air made you hold your coat tighter. You rocked back and forth, subconsciously biting your bottom lip as you began to panic a little. What happens if he does not like it? Maybe it doesn’t flatter him? Or just straight up ugly?
Tom finally exited the trailer; his large coat hid the outfit. “Right” He smiled, rubbing his hands together. “I’m ready.”
Your face furrowed, scared to ask him to show you the clothing. Tom, being observant, saw your concerned facial expression. “Oh yes! Sorry.” He exclaimed, taking off the outer layer.
Thankfully, everything looked well-tailored. Your eyes scanned the man, taking in his muscular physique. Broad shoulders, large biceps, tight waist, and toned quads. Eyes soon gravitated to his hands, admiring the way his veins bulged from his skin, the watch suited him well. He noticed your prying eyes, a smirk enhancing his cheekbones as his confidence grew. “Everything okay darling?”
His tone was cocky, the new nickname drawn out making you blush. Caught in the act. Your eyes fluttered as they snapped back up to meet his. You swallowed air, feeling a little ashamed of your actions. “Yeah- yeah, it’s great.” You affirmed, eyes looking anywhere avoiding his intense gaze.
“Right, we better get going then.” He suggested, throwing the coat back on. You did not wait for him as you began pacing towards the first location.
Esquire had chosen an old, rundown building. It was rough, but elegant at the same time. Neutral toned, simple. The first shot was in the dining area of a kitchen. The photographer waited for your arrival, along with his assistant. Once Tom entered, it all began.
He was propped up against the wall, sitting on top of the old dinning seat with the photographer straight across from him. You could not help but admire Tom. His body looked amazing, tempting. You could not peal your eyes from him, they glued to the figure unable to comprehend such a beautiful sight.
Harry, the assistant, began to have some small talk with you. Asking about your job, hobbies, and schooling. He was nice- also British. The accent was like Toms, maybe he was a cousin, a brother. They did not look too much alike but there were some similarities.
That shoot ended, and it was onto the next. For this, Tom was wearing a custom Prada suit. No shirt underneath, exposing the pale skin of his collarbones. All black, very chic. It was not a typical suit; a different cut snatched his waist. There was not too strong of a breeze, so his hair stayed stiff in the outdoors. The woods in the background made for quite the photo.
A few more shoots went by, close ups and what not. But then came time for the final shoot. This one was set in the old studio type room. It was rusty, bleak but Toms expensive outfit was the centrepiece. He was leaning up against the lone sink, the short sleeve polo showed his defined arms as they worked to hold up his weight. The polo was sheer, the white undershirt could be seen through the tight material. His hands gripped the bowl, his Rolex glistened around his wrist.
This was your favourite outfit by far, even though you had your doubts, he looked exquisite in it. You were scared showing him the material, afraid that his masculine side would reject it. However, he could not have be happier to model the clothing.
Tom had caught your not-so-subtle glances throughout the day. He watched your eyes undress him. He found himself doing the same. Your outfit was casual but professional. Black boots, tights under a beige plaided mini skirt, a v-neck shirt and blazer. His mouth watered whenever you would bend down to fix his clothes, your cleavage coming into his eyeline. Yes, it could be considered creepy, but you started it. It became such a habit; he’d purposely mess up his clothes just to get your help.
Finally, the last shot was taken, the photographer thanked Tom before telling him to come visit his trailer before he left to check out some of the pictures. Tom agreed, sending him a charming smile as he thanked him. Now it was just you, Tom, and Harry. “Hey Harry, could you grab me lunch? I heard there is a nice restaurant in the town. Maybe a steak or chicken? Do you want anything Y/N?” You neglected the offer, ensuring him you had brought food. And with that Harry left.
So, scratch that, only the two of you remained.
He cleared his throat, before rubbing his hands down his abdomen as if he were cleaning the fabric. “I really like this outfit.” He confessed. “I might steal it.”
You let out a soft giggle. “It looks good on you. I won’t snitch.”
“I know darling. Your eyes could barely look away from me.”
You froze at his statement. Embarrassed was an understatement. Eyes darted to the floor, wanting it to open and swallow you whole. He stepped closer, placing a hand on your hip. Body was stiff against his touch, wondering if this was just a dream. Your imagination playing tricks. He let a hand tuck some hair behind your ear, a classic but effective move. “It’s okay. I was doing the same to you too darling.” He whispered, his hot breath hitting your ear causing goosebumps to erupt.
His hand travelled to your neck as you tipped your head upwards to look at him. Licking his lips, eyes flickered between yours and your mouth. His small lips hovered over yours, slightly ajar. The attraction for this man was indescribable. The general consensus was obvious. You both wanted each other, there was no point in denying it.
Slowly, his lips edged closer to yours, his hands pulling you closer to his body. Placing your hands on his pelvic bone you braced for impact. Lips made contact for the first time. It was soft, delicate. His fingers laced through your hair as yours traced up his torso, feeling his strong pecks before wrapping them around the back of his neck. Your lips began to move, finding a steady pace as you both explored one another’s mouths. Tongues dipped in and out, savouring one another’s taste.
The grip on your hip tightened, as the kiss became hungrier. He guided you to a wall, encaging you between his body as he rummaged through your clothes, needing to feel your skin. His warm touch made your body shiver. He pulled away, eyes searching yours. “Is this okay?”
“Yes Tom.” You exhaled, fingers twiddling with his locks. “We don’t have much time. So, um, y’know.” You mumbled, lips tracing his jawline before your teeth tugged at his earlobe.
He groaned, fingers digging into your skin as he pressed into you. He returned his lips to yours, devouring you. He worked to remove your clothing. First your blazer then your shirt. He dropped to his knees, kissing your inner thighs before carefully removing your tights. His hands caressed the skin over your thighs, pushing your skirt up to expose the black thong that covered your dripping core. He placed a messy kiss over your clothed clit before rising to his feet. Your legs buckled as you began to feel as if you were at his mercy. The man could do anything to you, and you would be grateful.
Grabbing the collar of the polo, he ripped it off his body, leaving him in the white tank. It was so tight; the muscles could be seen. But time was against you. His lips attacked your mounds, shoving his face between the valley of your tits. His hand slipped between your thighs, causing you to hike up one of your legs to give him better access. Back arched pressing your tits against his face, fingers entangled in his messy locks pulling at the roots.
His thumb teased your clit, fingers rubbing your folds through your dampened thong. It was probably pathetic how wet you were, but you did not care- and neither did Tom. Wanting more, one of your hands flew behind your back, unclasping your bra before throwing it onto the floor. Licking a stripe from your valley to your neck, he focused on sucking a dark mark into the skin. You would have objected any other time, but the thrill of this adventure was all too exciting.
His fingers hooked your thong, prying it as far down your legs as he could without lips breaking contact with your skin. They travelled back up to the aching heat between your legs. Rubbing his fingers through your soaked folds, you moaned, anticipation growing like a wildfire. Just as his digits sunk in, his mouth latched onto your nipple. The sensation made your knee weak, but his hand on your lower back and your leg wrapped around him kept you steady.
His mouth switched between buds, while his fingers abused your entrance. His thumb pressured your clit, the sounds leaving you were classified as pornographic. It was intense. He barely knew you personally, but he knew your body.
Your hands fisted at the back of his white tank top, needing it gone. He got the hint, removing his lips from you for a millisecond to allow the material to come off. Fingers began to mark his back as the pleasure grew. Your walls clenched around his digits, feeling complete euphoria. A few more pumps and a quick warning, you were cumming around his thick digits. Coating them with your arousal. He slowed the pace, helping you ease down from your climax. As soon as he saw your body relax, he swiftly brought his fingers up to his mouth, sucking them clean while directly looking at you. “So sweet darling.” He purred making you nearly faint at his seduction.
Tucking your head into his neck, you whimpered at the compliment. His hand hooked under your thighs hoisting you up and carrying you over to the sink. He set you down on the lip as he unbuttoned his pants, shoving them down his legs along with his boxers. His hard cock sprung free slapping his abdomen. A prominent vein ran along the underside. His tip was red, glistening with precum, begging to be used.
For the first time, you noticed his bare sculptured torso. Abs were chiselled, chest was big muscles rippling across it. His shoulders were broad, arms defined. His veins in his forearms were poking from under his skin, trailing down to his hands. Red from all the work they were doing. You bit your lip, concealing a moan that was attempting an escape. It was too good to be true.
“Shit I don’t have a condom.” He grumbled, scanning the room to find a solution. His cock was in his hand, pumping the member. “It’s okay, I’m on the pill. Just fuck me Tom, please.” You begged, placing your hands on his narrow hips.
“Fuck, such a filthy mouth on you darling.”
Not wasting any time, Tom lined himself up at your entrance, tip poking at the tight hole. With some force, he slid into you with ease due to your prior orgasm. Both of you gasped at the feeling of your silky walls engulfing his member. It was a slow, steady thrust until he bottomed out. You threw your head back, resting it against the walls as you shut your eyes, adjusting to his size. “Fucking knew this cunt would feel amazing.” He praised, “So beautiful.”
His hands clung to your waist, holding you steady as your body tried to move, desperate to feel him pound into you. But he knew he did not have time to tease, Harry could arrive back at any moment. If you were being honest, the thought of being caught turned you on even more. Even the fact you were doing it in a public space made your heat water. You had to be cock drunk or under a spell; no way a sober you would have done this.  Your whimpers got louder and needier as your mind continued to process the sinful thoughts.
Slowly pulling out, his tip remaining in you before he snapped his hips forward. This was the beginning of the animalistic slaughter. Thrust were consistently and mesmerizingly accurate, dragging against your g-spot mercilessly. Your head clouded with lust, sounds flowing out of you constantly. His lip was tucked between his teeth, eyes flickering between the collision of your bodies and your tits. He watched as his cock disappeared, returning glistening in your arousal. “That’s it darling. No one’s around, wanna hear those pretty sounds. Be a good girl for me.” He encouraged between heavy pants. 
Listening to his request, moans quickly turned into screams as your body could not handle the intense wave of pleasure that swarmed. For a second, your eyes opened taking a quick glance at Tom. You regretted it immediately. His hair was now stuck to his forehead, messy yet still sexy. Body had a sheen, sweating from the relentless pounding. Cheeks red, nostrils flared. Lips non-existent as his teeth chewed at them. His pants and grunts were faint, yours drowning them out. When his dark, lust-filled orbs met yours for that split second, you came undone without hesitating. The knot in your stomach exploded, body shook as the feeling of pure bliss overcame you.
“Shit. Not gonna warn me. That’s not nice.” He grimaced, cock still demolishing your tight walls. His movements never stopped, never slowed. You screamed his name, body unable to keep up with his stamina. “Tom, I can’t.” You whined, leaning forward with the little strength you had to wrap your arms around his neck. 
“One more darling. I’m right here. I got you.” He promised, his lips adding another shameless mark to your neck. Your legs wrapped around his hips, still shaking from the previous high. Toms movements started to become less precise, however he still managed to hit your spot deep within. His balls slapped against you with a frightening force, stimulating them. He knew he was close, but he needed to feel your walls clutch around him again. He craved it.
Swinging his hand down from your hip to your clit, he began to rub rough circles around the neglected bud. Your hands flung to the back of the sink, holding you up. Eyes rolled to the back of your head; profanities left your lips. Tom took the opportunity to return to your tits, sucking on the sensitive tissue. One of your legs became dead, the rigorous beating slowly causing you to malfunction.
Grabbing that ankle, he placed it on his shoulder, using it to thrust deeper, harder into you. His grunts and groans were primal. You started to feel his cock twitch as your walls clenched around him. Your orgasm washed over you without warning, body convulsed under him as it became numb. A tingling sensation riddled your wrecked figure. “Atta girl, I’m here. I got you darling.” 
His thrust slowed, stilled as his cock throbbed within your abused walls. “Darling, I am gonna cum, where can I cum?” He panted, using all the restraint he had to prevent him from releasing into you. “In me.” Was all you could say, not caring about the possible consequences. Logic long gone.
Rubbing a gentle circle against your worn-out clit caused your body to tense, walls pulsate against him. That was all he needed before he spilled into you, coating your walls with his seed. He leaned forward, hands on top of yours grabbing the sink as you milked him of everything. His teeth sunk into your shoulder, biting you muffling his moans. 
His lips trailed to yours, giving you a lazy opened mouth kiss, both lacking energy for anything heated. He stayed deep within you as he admired your body, a sense of pride rushed over him as he took in your stature. The marks littered across your glistening skin, messy hair fallen on top of your ruined makeup, heavy breaths escaping your swollen lips. You were fucked out, all because of him.
His hands rubbed your skin, soothing the sore muscles that were surely going to cramp later on. “You know you are really beautiful.” He charmed, lips softly kissing your stomach and shoulders. You hummed, still on this seemingly, everlasting high. A sharp gasp was inhaled as he slipped out. Eyes looking at the mess you had made around him. A small smirk carved into your lips.
Tom grabbed his tank top, using it as rag to clean up your mixed arousals. “I’ll keep this.” He joked, holding up the piece of fabric causing you to furrow your eyebrows in slight disgust. “No. No, I meant that as in I can’t give it back, not in a creepy way. Not a souvenir. I mean I want to remember this; it was incredible- you are incredible. But I- y’know I’m gonna shut up.” He rambled, causing you to laugh. 
“Glad you think it’s funny.” He mumbled helping you off the sink. At impact, your legs wobbled, weak from the previous beating. Tom held you, ensuring you did not fall. A small chuckle slipped from his lips at your obvious struggles. 
“Glad you think it’s funny.” You sneered, finally finding your balance. Bending over to pick up your clothes, he could not help but give your behind a harsh smack. Snapping your head towards him, he held up the offenders in defence, a smug look on his face as he did. You both got dressed in silence, unsure of what the next move was. He cleared his throat, giving you a soft smile. You thought your eyes were deceiving you. How was he capable of transitioning from a sex god to a shy boy in a fraction of a second. He is a very talented man.
He walked back over to the sink, pushing down on the solid porcelain. “It’s a sturdy sink to be fair.”
▾▾▾
want to be added to my taglist? just fill out this quick lil form > here
taglist: couldn’t tag
@adayasgeorgia @itsbieberxholland @in-some-fandoms @libraholland @lolooo22 @lowkey-holland @pure-ghost  @wooya1224 @MayraPreciado 
977 notes · View notes
violet-emi · 2 years
Note
do u write for itto or nah? If you do can I request hyperfixation for itto plz, if you dont could i request Childe plz
thankssss
I fucking forgot I had a tumblr because I forgot to put it on my home page till I found all these notifs (dumb bitch juice and irl work have been messing up my everything)
Itto is not out right now and is only technically known through lore so imma mix it up with the reader being in the world of teyvat (and not the angsty kind where the reader is rejected, this is the kind where they are recognized to be above the archons)
Special thanks to everyone randomly really liking my stuff, tldr at bottom <3
Hyperfixation: Itto
“Itto, I love you.” You claimed.
The large oni took great pride in hearing you say his name and confess your love for him, but your love came with a daunting price. As the recognized divine being of teyvat, capable of letting each and every single being in their known world flourish, even Itto crumbles at the pressure. He may appear ever so confident and careless, but there’s only one thing he truly cares for, and it is you and the world you bring beauty to.
“Of course you would, little thing. I’m going to return the favor too, cuz I also…” Itto rubs the back of his neck and lowers his voice. “I also love you too.” Perhaps he’s wrong for admitting more than his devotion to the diety, but he’s happy with getting it off of his chest.
However, his hubris quickly catches up to him and fills him with regret. Anxiety. Fear. Perhaps he just can’t see why you suddenly chose him beyond everything else in the world that he starts to doubt himself to be the only one who takes all of your love for himself. It becomes terrifying to think of a day without your presence. He sees the neglect of the other regions now that you have firmly planted yourself in inazuma, into Itto’s… willing arms? Your divine presence means everything to him, and that’s why he begins to fear losing it more and more. He doesn’t want to be forgotten like the rest of the world, and it’s getting worse and worse.
Your love is so addicting to him, his devotion prior to your benevolence was already so strong he just couldn’t resist anymore. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t deserve your love, he needs it. Even when the world comes to hate him for keeping you all to himself, it doesn’t matter if you two are happy within each other’s arms. As long as you keep loving him, all will be well- after all, it’s not hurting him.
The first to speak up about your self isolation in inazuma was the Raiden Shogun, the electro archon. She was of course overjoyed at the thought of you staying in her nation forever, for even the archons feel nothing but bliss in your presence. However, she was shocked when you didn’t bless her with your presence, with any words, and simply continued to talk about some oni mortal that she didn’t care for. She didn’t have the heart to destroy what you cared for, not when you saved her from her meditative torment-
But the world needs you. Itto isn’t the only one addicted to your love, to your presence, to the care you brought to this world. It’s falling apart without you and teyvat shakes in fear as it decays without you to sustain it. Beyond Inazuma, the vision holders of Mondstadt and Liyue miss you greatly, they’re feeling empty and hollow without you.
But that’s okay, because Itto is always willing to stand by your side, and that’s all that matters. Mondstadt, Liyue, Sumeru, Fontaine, Natlan, Snezhnaya, and even the fallen nation of the heretics may fall as long as you have Itto. Itto still stands by your side, but perhaps what is most terrifying is that he doesn’t know if he does it out of love or fear.
“Itto, I love you.” You say once more.
“Please don’t ever stop.” He whispers.
TLDR: your love for itto is unhealthy for the world, but it’s okay with itto by your side. hopefully.
95 notes · View notes
itgirlification · 3 years
Text
supermodel (3) | jjk
Tumblr media
when you asked jungkook to come over, you didn’t expect it to end this way.
pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader
warnings: unprotected sex, spitting, face slapping, spanking, etc.
now playing: stuck on you by giveon
part one part two
“I just didn't feel like you were ready for a relationship. You still aren’t.”, He said. “Not ‘cause you’re a bad girlfriend, it's because you’re so bad to yourself.”
After the party, you decided to message Jungkook and ask him to come over to talk things through, since there was too much between you unanswered. Now that’s exactly what you’d been doing for the past 15 minutes.
You admired his honesty even though it hurt you.
You were about to open your mouth, but Jungkook made a hand motion to let you know he wasn’t finished talking.
“Do you know how I felt when you always looked down on yourself, always picking fights because you’re too damn insecure to realize that I was only looking at you?”
You looked at him, wondering if he was expecting you to answer so you just shook your head no. You didn’t know how he felt.
Throughout the entire timeline of your relationship, he hadn’t even tried to tell you he was feeling like this once.
Jungkook sighed, clearly not trying to hurt you with what was going to come. “It just made you hard to love. I didn't feel fully loved in our relationship, because if you had so many issues loving yourself, how were you supposed to love me?”
Realizing you’ve never thought about it in that way, you made an astounding facial expression, before finally talking. “But we aren't the same, Jungkook. You’re so easy to love. But I’m not. I’m flawed and I don't think I deserve to have you in any way. Please don’t think I never loved you. It hurts me.”
He jabbed his cheek with his tongue and gazed at you in disbelief. “You missed my point. I’m telling you, you shouldn't be looking for a relationship if you can’t love yourself first.”
Now you were getting a little irritated at him. “Well, that’s easier said than done. You don’t understand what it feels like having people constantly body shame you and having a conventionally attractive partner and people telling you you’re too ugly for them, you don’t deserve them. You don’t get it, because you are the attractive one in the relationship.”
With his clenched jaw and the tightened expression on his face, you knew Jungkook wasn’t having it. “Oh, you know that’s a typical move for you, yn. You love victimizing yourself and being blind to your own faults, acting like everybody else around is doing everything wrong when you don’t even let them express their honest feelings to you. You’re unbearable to talk to, you know that?”
“Of course, I am. Because I’m confessing my fears and my vulnerability to you it’s hard talking to me, right? Like I didn’t spend a total of like what, a year? listening to your sob stories about your childhood trauma and your daddy issues and your drug problems and I didn’t even say a thing about it. I never complained.”, you hollered at him, unfortunately, your anger was getting the best of you.
You were aware of the fact that you shouldn’t have mentioned your ex-boyfriend’s childhood, let alone his unhealthy relationship with drugs. You knew it was his weak spot, but you did it out of anger, you couldn’t control it.
You remembered the first time Jungkook teared up in front of you while talking about how his father mistreated and abuse him and his mum and how he started abusing drugs at the age of 16.
“Jungkook..”, you moved closer to him after noticing his silence, trying to put a hand over his shoulder. He rejected you by shaking your hand off.
“Nah, don’t ‘Jungkook’ me, you know what you did, don’t try blaming it on the fact that you’re mad at me right now.”, He hissed with flaring nostrils. “That’s what you’ve been wanting to tell me ever since I opened up to you, don’t lie.”
You felt deeply ashamed of the fact that you were getting aroused at the side of this messed-up Jungkook who was standing right in front of you.
Despite your arousal, your ex-boyfriend’s statement had hurt your feelings. You didn't want him thinking that of you, you wanted him to know you supported him and wanted to be his shoulder to cry on. For him to know he could always call you.
“Jungkook, that's not true at all”, your voice softened and you sat yourself on one of his thick thighs, gently taking his face into your hands. “You know I love you and I’m just frustrated, that’s the only reason why I said that. You can talk to me about anything.”
You started to lightly grind against his thigh, contemplating whether you wanted him to notice or you didn’t.
Jungkook started chuckling as he felt your pulse on his thigh. “You know sex isn't gonna solve all of our problems, right?”
His demeanor always changed when he'd notice you were needy. One thing about your relationship you never complained about was your sex life.
“I know, but it would solve a lot of them right now”, you breathed out, grabbing a handful of his dick, making him hiss.
“I don't think you deserve dick after what you said.”, Jungkook looked at you with a serious gaze. “Stand up.”
You were confused at his sudden demand but obeyed regardless.
“Now lay on my lap, facing down.”, He demanded again and you did as he said.
Not knowing what was going to happen, you were just all up in his lap, trying to figure out what he was going to do. Your hair was wild as it went in all directions, while you were bent over.
Before you knew it, a firm hand was applied to your backside, giving it an unexpected slap. “I think you've been getting a little brave these days, hm?”
“Wha.. what do you mean?”, you sounded like you were gasping for air.
“Already outta breath when I barely touched you, huh?”, he chuckled at your desperate state before dragging his big hand along your ass cheek, teasing you before applying pressure and spanking it, causing it to jiggle. You loudly groaned at that.
“Shush, you’re lucky I’m only using my hand and not this belt.”, Jungkook said with a daring stare.
Your face felt flush and the burn you felt on your ass started getting pleasurable. You wondered what you looked like to Jungkook, bent over his knees like that. His spanks were getting heavier with every passing one.
“Jungkook, it hurts so bad”, you whined to him, your face burning.
He inhaled sharply and you assumed he was mad at you. “Didn't I tell you to shut up? Look at me.”
You turned your head to him, sitting on one of his thighs, which caused your ass to burn even more. Jungkook then cupped your cheeks rather harshly, collected enough saliva in his mouth, and spat on your face.
You bit back a moan, slightly startled. Jungkook always wanted sex to be as messy as possible.
He finally took off his shirt, revealing the tattoos that you loved so much. You started touching them, but Jungkook slapped your hand away and smacked you across your face.
You felt overheated by the intensity, also releasing yourself from your shirt, your black lace bra, and your tits spilling out of it. Jungkook thought it was a beautiful sight.
“I hate you”, you whispered stilly, feeling hazy.
Jungkook chuckled darkly. “Sweetheart, you might wanna speak up. Say that again for me.”
“I hate you for always making me feel like shit.”, you said dizzily as you adjusted yourself on his lap. He held your body effortlessly like you were a feather’s weight.
You started making out sloppily, not without him letting out small moans into your mouth that directly sent waves of arousal through your body.
“I hate you for always starting arguments and playing the victim.”, He breathed out between kisses, hands resting on your ass.
“I hate you for replacing me with that model when you know damn well where you belong.”
The make-out session became more intense with every second.
“I fucking hate you for thinking everything I do is to hurt you.”, he growled against your mouth, making a moan leave your mouth.
“Well, I fucking hate you f-“, you were about to come back at him, but he breathlessly interrupted.
“Shut up”, he groaned into your ear before shoving a hand between your legs and rubbing you.
The frustration in your body built up. “Jungkook, I need you..”
“Where do you need me?”, teasingly, he took his hands away from your pussy. “C’mon, use your big girl words.”
“Inside...”, you felt too dazed to complete a sentence. Jungkook’s hard dick under you was just adding to your frustration.
Before you knew it, he pushed your back onto the bed and ran his hands through his longer black hair before undoing the buttons on his black jeans and taking them off along with the shorts, and leaning forward to kiss you, his strong arms flexing as he did.
He lifted you up and you hook your legs around his small waist, still kissing him. He ran his tongue over your lips after biting them.
After gently throwing you onto the bed, Jungkook laid back and sat you down on his stomach.
You moved southwards and sank down onto his dick, moving back and forth, Jungkook watching his dick disappear into your body. To enhance things, he pulled your hips down a little harder.
Your heavy breathing and the occasional moans that left both of your mouths spread throughout the whole dorm. The pleasure was so intense, you couldn’t talk anymore. You were digging your long nails into his broad shoulders and his back. You were sure it left marks, but you couldn’t care to think about it.
Jungkook leaned in for another kiss, brushing your lips together and sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. “Fuuck, I missed this.”
You kept on going back and forth and bouncing up and down on his dick. The two of you were out of breath.
His dick was buried deep inside of you as he thrusted in and out of your pussy, your hips met and you dug your nails in his back, losing your rhythm as both of your climaxes approached.
Hips stuttering as he fucked into you while your vision faded into black, time slowed just like his thrusts.
“Shit, I’m gonna cum.”, Jungkook warned beforehand in a grunt.
You nodded, indicating you’re cumming too. “Cum inside.”
He initiated eye contact with you to make sure you weren’t just saying that. You nodded.
Your eyes rolled back as you felt his warm liquid enter your body and fire pooling low in your abdomen from your own orgasm.
Positioning yourself on the bed, you stayed there with Jungkook in pleasant silence for a bit.
After a minute or two, the both of you had the energy to stand up again. You freshened up, then made your way to your bed, not before changing the sheets, of course.
Jungkook was in the bathroom for a few minutes, later then got out only wearing his shorts, leaving the rest of his clothes on your pile of dirty clothes you were gonna wash the next day.
“Goodnight.”, Jungkook pressed a loving kiss to your forehead, before jumping into the bed with you, covering his body with the blanket and scooping closer to you.
“You aren’t leaving?”, you tiredly croaked at him with big eyes to which he shook his head no and snuggled closer to you.
Your heart fluttered more with every second that passed. “Goodnight, Jungkook.”
You knew that once you’d wake up and once she’d see you with Jungkook, a loud, disappointed Jane will be heard through the whole apartment complex. But you were too tired to care.
And lastly, when you fall onto the bed and peacefully fall asleep in his strong arms, you weren’t bothered by what's to come.
And so, the cycle continues.
_
taglist: @taeisbae13 @queenmasterxx @jkbangtan7 @jenotation @complicatedjules @gee-nee @tokyorm @yoonievrse @ggukkieland @laurynne5 @miinoongi @kb-bangtanenthusiast @1-in-abillion @sarcasmflowsinmyveins @madygswich @chieftoadturkeynickel @pjmnoir
Thank you everybody for your support. I’m sorry it took such a long time but i got school and stuff. I thought it’d give jungkook at least one redeeming quality so this part wasn’t so depressing. Hope yall like it🖤🖤
487 notes · View notes
blu-joons · 3 years
Text
DATING GOT7 HEADCANON A⇴Z ⇴ Jackson Wang
Tumblr media
A ⇴ AFFECTION
Jackson is the definition of a clingy boyfriend, any time he can get a bit of your attention or close the gap a little bit closer towards you, he’ll definitely do so. He’s always very reluctant to let you out of his hold, or out of his gaze.
B ⇴ BEFORE DATING
He was very friendly to everyone he met, so with that of course, you just thought he was being nice to you too. As you got closer, he began to get a little flirtier with you, but you brushed it aside again as something he just did to everyone to make them feel comfortable. It definitely hurt Jackson seeing you react so coldly, but he could see why you did so.
C ⇴ CONFESSION
One night when you brushed him aside, the pain became too much. He took you by surprise by pulling you to one side, offloading every feeling he had, both the hurt he felt by the way he treated you and how much he felt himself falling for you. You were shocked, it took a long time for you to react, Jackson was convinced you were going to reject him, but just as he began to walk away you pulled him back and let him know how you felt too.
D ⇴ DATES
He often liked to impress you on dates, he’d always arrange something special for the two of you, if it was dinner, he’d pick somewhere fancy, or if it was at a movie, he’d always make sure to get the best seats for you. He was an absolute gentleman on all of your dates, he always paid and always made sure you were well looked after. As much as he loved to whine and dine you, if you suggested a night lazing around on the sofa, he’d be more than down for that too, whatever you wanted to do, he’d do with you, as long as you were happy then Jackson knew that the date was going to be a success.
E ⇴ EXPERIENCE
The few relationships he’d had before you had fizzled out as soon as he began to get busy, which was his biggest concern with you. However, you were a lot more understanding than his previous girlfriends, at times he found himself questioning why you stuck around, but coming home at midnight and seeing you awake, with dinner prepared, answered everything. He hated sometimes how pushed aside you could be, but as you constantly reassured him, you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into by dating him, and as long as work was going well, you were happy to be the second priority.
F ⇴ FIGHTING
He hates fighting with a passion, he’s more argumentative about the fact the two of you shouldn’t argue than what you’re arguing about. If you walk away, he’ll follow you, if you try to leave, he’ll hide the keys, there’s no way that he’ll let you allow an argument to go on for longer than it needs to. He won’t cry, but he’ll definitely feel himself getting emotional, he’s passionate about even the smallest of things, no matter what the two of you argue about, he’ll refuse to let it go. Once he’s told you how he’s felt, he’ll listen to how you feel and quickly find a way for you both to come to some sort of compromise.
G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY
It was no secret that Jackson was very close with his family, especially Aimee. He’d hyped you up to his niece before you’d even met, somehow convincing her that you were his princess, which was an idea she absolutely loved. So, when you finally met them, and saw the way her eyes lit up, you knew that you were going to settle in well with his family.
H ⇴ HOME
He spent a lot of his time travelling between countries, so it didn’t take long for Jackson to encourage you to move in with him. During some months, his time in Korea was limited, so he wanted to have you around for as much of it as possible. It also meant he could spend more time with you, which he was never going to decline. Coming home and seeing you there was a feeling he’d never quite get used to.
I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”
Even though he knew weeks before he said the first ‘I love you,’ on one of your dinner dates, Jackson was hesitant to say it too quickly and overwhelm you. As soon as he said it, it definitely took you by surprise, you weren’t sure if it was just you that was falling quickly, but you’d quickly reply, and let him know that you loved him too.
J ⇴ JEALOUSY
He’d definitely try and play his jealousy down, he hated letting on to anyone that someone had annoyed him. This was when clingy Jackson would often make an appearance, he wasn’t afraid to hug you a little bit tighter or kiss you a little more frequently if it meant that whoever was around you got the message. Once you were out of the situation, you’d always ask him about it, but he’d just try and convince you that he just wanted a hug, even though you could see right through him each and every time.
K ⇴ KIDS
From the start of your relationship, it will be made obvious to you that Jackson wants kids in the future. Seeing him around Aimee, you could see how much of an incredible dad he’d be, but he also felt the same way watching you with her. It would definitely be something he’d try and plan into his future, he had a goal in mind for when he’d want to start his family by, a goal he had in mind with you definitely planned in too.
L ⇴ LAUGHTER
No one could make you laugh quite like Jackson could, he was always messing around in order to put a smile on your face. He loves to tell plenty of dodgy jokes that you’ll laugh at once you’ve finished cringing of course. Similarly, he loves to laugh around you, he’ll often be smiling when you won’t have even done anything, just seeing you around him was enough to make his heart warm. If you ever were feeling down, prepare for his hands to tickle your body endlessly until the smile is permanently back on your face, he’ll refuse to ever see you down.
M ⇴ MISSING
He always hoped that missing you would be a feeling he’d get used to with how much he had to travel, but it never did. He’d try everything to be able to get you to travel with him, but usually it wasn’t possible. Whenever he was on tour, he’d text you several times throughout the day, and always dedicate at least one hour every couple of days to be able to call you. He worries endlessly about you; he’ll struggle to focus most days unless he’s heard from you that morning so he can at least know that you’re alright. He’ll text you several times until he gets a reply back that can try and ease your mind.
N ⇴ NICKNAMES
The cheesier the better with Jackson, he’ll push all the boundaries until you have to tell him to stop. With that, he’ll love for you to call him every cliché nickname, it always puts a huge smile on his face.
O ⇴ OBSESSION
He was obsessed with everything about you, it was impossible for Jackson to ever pinpoint one thing he loved about you more than anything else.
P ⇴ PDA
Jackson didn’t care who was watching, if he wanted to be close to you or hug you or kiss you, he would. He’d still be respectful of wherever you were, but he’d never allow himself to be pressured to stand away from you or let you go. In any interview where your name was mentioned, he’d talk you about you nonstop too.
Q ⇴ QUESTIONS
He would tend to ask questions late at night to stop you falling asleep. He’d want to stay up as long as possible so he could enjoy your company, or at least keep you awake until he was sleepy, so he had someone with him.
R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS
Jackson loves to involve you when you least expect it. If he’s got an interview or fan meeting, he’ll ask you for a random word just before he leaves the house. When you watch his interviews or see social media afterwards, you’ll notice how he tries to include that word somehow into conversation so that you know he’s thinking about you. Even the fans became sceptical as to what was going on when one day, he managed to describe his song using a watermelon.
S ⇴ SEX
It very much depends on the mood how Jackson will treat you, sometimes he’ll be very soft and sensual, but he also has a very dominate side where he loves to show off to you how strong he is. He’ll never be too rough; however, he’ll go as far as you’re comfortable with. But if he’s in one of his clingy moods, you won’t be able to get him off you, he’ll hold you and kiss you even long after you’re finished as he doesn’t want to let you go.
T ⇴ TEXTS
He’ll text you often throughout the day, often at the most random times. If he’s thinking of you, he’ll let you know, or if he’s encountered a problem, he’ll turn to you first to try and find a way to solve it all.
U ⇴ UNIVERSE
He was very aware he had millions of fans, but none of them compared to you. In a crowd of thousands, he always knew that he could find you. You didn’t understand it sometimes, but it was just something Jackson knew.
V ⇴ VACATION
As he travelled so much, he’d make sure to take you with him as often as he could. If you were going on a trip with him, he’d make sure to extend it by a day or two so that you both had some free days where you could do your own thing. He loved to show you the world and take you to places you never imagined you’d go.
 W ⇴ WHINING
He’s clingy, and he loves your attention, so if you don’t give it to him, be assured you’ll know about it. You’re pretty sure the other side of the city can hear him whine sometimes.
X ⇴ XXXXX
Whenever he has you close, it will be an instinct for him to press a kiss to your cheek. He won’t ever feel like he can’t kiss you, if he wants to, he’ll do it. His kisses vary a lot too, sometimes it will just be a soft peck to your cheek, but other times he’ll grab your face and make sure you know exactly what he wants. They’re a very good indicator of how he’s feeling, and you’ll always make sure to respond accordingly.
Y ⇴ YOU
You were the one for him, the only one that he wanted in a world of billions.
Z ⇴ ZZZ
His clinginess definitely continues at night, he can’t sleep without you there which often makes touring so difficult. You can often hear him muttering into your ear as you begin to sleep when he wants you to know how he feels.
---
Masterlist
421 notes · View notes
Text
Happy birthday to @biracialpercy, my dear feral child! 💕
Percy was a Null.
While it was not an uncommon occurrence, as the different aspects of one's personality were sometimes so balanced in some people that their biology could hardly decide on one gender, it was still a shock for the campers.
Their hero was not an Alpha, but a Null? That was just not done.
All of the Greek and Roman heroes in history were Alphas or high Betas, so to think that their hero’s Alpha and Omega aspects were so balanced that his biology couldn't decide on one was unthinkable.
Because while Percy Jackson was a momma's boy, who was too caring sometimes, he was definitely an Alpha material.
Not an Omega.
Never an Omega.
He fought bravely to defend those who were not capable of doing it - like an Alpha. He took care of bullies to protect the weak - like an Alpha. He was strong, powerful, and attractive - like an Alpha. He sparred regularly to assert his dominance over the others, who would dare to question him - like an Alpha. Right?
Right?!
Everybody was sure of it.
They just forgot one tiny little thing: to ask Percy what /he/ thought about it.
Because if they would have taken the time and effort to ask him what he thought and wanted, they might have been not that sure of their reasonings.
---
Percy just wanted to be left alone.
His father expected him to be an Alpha, just as his other sons were; the whole camp was convinced that he was this strong hero who was, /of course/, an Alpha. Annabeth (and the other campers) was sure he would mate with her because the Omega daughter of Athena and the Alpha son of Poseidon were /obviously/ soulmates.
But the most painful was Luke. The son of Hermes (who had been on probation after the Titan War and got pardoned after the Gigant War) was avoiding him because as the previous Alpha of Camp Half-Blood, he didn't want to get into a territory fight with the /real/ Alpha of Camp Half-Blood.
The only person who loved him unconditionally, and who really knew him was his mother. She always knew his biggest wish:
He wanted to be an Omega.
He had enough of fighting, of saving the world; he wanted to be taken care of, he wanted to be loved.
To have /his/ Alpha care for him, love him, do everything for him.
He hated people and their assumptions.
He hated to be regarded as a "late-bloomer" Alpha. He hated that the gods and the other demigods basically planned out his whole life.
Like they had any rights to do it.
Like anyone but Percy had the right to decide who and what he should be.
---
Luke was in pain.
It was nothing new as he has been in pain since he first noticed the little Null hero as a potential mate, but it was worse than ever.
While the two wars were good reasons for not presenting, now that everything was calm, the pressure on Percy to present as an Alpha became even more pronounced.
It was painful.
Painful to watch the poor boy being harassed by horny Omegas panting to become his mate, painful to see the little girl he thought of as his sister plan out their upcoming wedding.
Painful to feel hopeless, rejected. He knew Percy was assumed to be a hiding Alpha, but he always carried a tiny hope that in the end, he would present as an Omega.
Percy Jackson, the Hero of Olympus was basically his obsession. First, his enemy, then a reluctant ally, then… he fell under his spell, like many other demigods before and after him. 
But, unlike the Omegas, he had no hope to be with the Null demigod-
Until he miraculously did.
When a pissed-off hero rushed into his room in the Big House, ready to tear somebody's head off, he didn’t anticipate what was going to happen. (That was not new. Being around Percy Jackson, was never predictable.)
Luke was unsure what to do, what to say to calm the enraged Null down, but because he was an unquestionable masochist, he broached a topic /he/ wanted to talk about.
Annabeth.
"So… Annie visited me," he said to the pacing Null. Percy stilled, breathing heavily as if he competed in a marathon.
"She did?" he asked in a misleadingly calm tone, avoiding Luke's eye contact.
"Hm," the Alpha nodded, thinking quickly how to proceed. When Percy was like this… He was the most unpredictable when he was like this - like the ocean, ready to strike at any time. "She was telling me about your date," he finished, gritting his teeth.
"That wasn't a date!" Percy snapped, irritated, and continued pacing.
"Would it be so bad if it was?" Luke asked gently, even if he dreaded the answer. Annie was an amazing girl, so talented, driven, powerful, and they were the perfect partners on and off the battlefield. The perfect Omega heroine and the amazing Alpha hero - a true Greek love story.
Percy went quiet, rigid.
"Yes," he said but did not elaborate. Annabeth was a wonderful person, his best friend, but just that - a friend.
"But you two are the perfect couple. Aren't you? She is a good Omega, she would make sure you would present an A-.” Before Luke could finish his sentence, Percy snapped.
Almost everybody in his life said almost exactly this, even his /father/, who hated Athena, wanted him to mate with Annabeth, but this was different.
This came from Luke.
Luke, his first crush, his enemy, his friend, his love.
"Have you thought that maybe /I/ don't want to mate with her?! That maybe, just maybe, I don't want to be a fucking Alpha?!" Percy practically roared it into Luke's face. "Maybe I don't care about what others want, and /maybe/ what I want is to be an Omega!"
The water in the pipes worked to escape from its confines; they rattled, hissed, and answering the tumultuous emotions of its lord, the tap burst open.
But Luke didn't pay any attention to it. How could he, when Percy Jackson, the presumed Alpha just confessed that he wanted to become an Omega?
"Well, then," the son of Hades commented lightly, with a determined gleam in his eyes. "I wanted to be nice, to let Annabeth, the perfect Omega have you, but not anymore. It's time to be selfish," he growled, moving, stalking towards his prey.
And as he pulled Percy close to him, kissing him thoroughly, Percy couldn't help, but agree with him: It was time to be selfish.
108 notes · View notes
Text
Thank You For Your Service IV (M)
Tumblr media
Thank you @7stars-aligned13 for the beautiful mood board!!  Pairing: Jimin x Reader Genre: smut, angst, fluff Warnings: mentions of trouble conceiving, lots of time skips, squirting, face fucking, dom!Jimin, slight role play, impreg kink, dirty talk, fingering, cream pie Word Count: 24,500
Part 1~ Part 2~ Part 3~ Part 4
You hiccup, already crying fat tears before you’ve even heard the news. You fear those words, feel the emptiness, and it hurts your soul. The straight faced doctor takes her time coming into your room, letting out a sigh once she sees your face. It’s from exasperation, but you would like to interpret it as sympathy. She stands at the foot of your bed, waiting until you calm your breathing enough to hear her.
“As I am sure you have guessed, you are not with child.” Those words break your heart for the sixth time and you break down into sobs, hiding your face in Jimin’s pillows.
Six months. It has been six long months since you were wed and you still are not pregnant. Even after all those late nights, early mornings when you’d send the servants away before your schedules began, the remedies and special foods, the slightly uncomfortable positions and pillow mountains, you still are not yet carrying your husband’s child. And it crushes you.
Yes, you know having children is not all you are good for, but it is one of your duties as a Queen. Having heirs is something that only you can do and the entire kingdom awaits expectantly for the news of an incoming prince or princess that they can idolize and adore, so you feel the pressure at all times of day— as well as guilt in regards to your barren womb. You should be fertile at this youthful time in your life. Both you and Jimin have passed every physical examination and remain in excellent health, which is why it is so perplexing to you that you are having trouble conceiving. Rosé, Queen of the kingdom just north of yours, is already pregnant and she was wed to her husband an entire month after you. Twins, you hear she’s having. You’d hate to fall behind her kingdom in any aspect, even in such a trivial competition as having children. She has nothing to do with your family, and yet, you still feel so inferior because you do not yet have one.
“To put it bluntly,” Your doctor begins, looking down at the paper she’s holding, scribbled with notes. “I believe the cause of your current condition— or lack thereof— is due to the poisoning you endured several months ago. It is possible that the potion affected your reproductive organs in some imperceptible way; your kidneys exhibited symptoms of its effects for nearly a month after your recovery, so we cannot completely rule out this possibility. But, Your Highness, the only way I would be able to test this hypothesis is through surgery to visually inspect your organs.”
You shudder at the thought of being cut open, shaking your head animatedly. Maybe you would consider this “inspection” after a year of effort and failure, but you would not take such drastic measures this early. No matter how much the constant failure hurt.
“If my infertility is due to the poison-“ You swallow thickly when your voice comes out as a mere whimper.
“Let us not be so hasty in calling it infertility, Your Majesty.” She interrupts, stare lightening just slightly. She’s learned the tiniest bit of respect since working under Jimin, his low tolerance for rudeness and spiny disposition during medical examinations slowly beginning to unnerve her cold discourse. Many a time has he reprimanded her for speaking to you informally or for her lack of sympathy, and you are finally starting to see a change, though she still interrupts you to interject.
“If my current inability to conceive is because of the poison,” You try again, “Are there any elixirs or pills I could take to lessen its effects? There must be something!”
“Because we do not know entirely if this is due to the poison, I am hesitant to give you treatment— sometimes getting pregnant is difficult for some people and there is nothing medically wrong with them. For now I can only give you advice on conception: try to lower your stress levels, eat more fruits and vegetables for vitamins, and do not over exert yourself. That is all for today, I will be back in a month for your regular check up unless I am needed sooner.” With that she turns and leaves, not waiting to be dismissed and leaving you alone in your room.
It is the middle of winter and the bone-chilling winds whip against your windows. The palace is heated by fire, but you refuse to light your fireplace, choosing to sit and suffer in the cold alone as you wallow in your gloom. Jimin has been busy all day with kingdom affairs, out and about performing duties that not even your father cared enough to get done. The people love him, love how involved he is and how much he cares, and they never hesitate to alert him to any problems they might have that Jimin could take care of. Of course he doesn’t mind, you knew he would never be able to stay inside these sheltered walls for long when he was so used to the excitement of training and battle, but you wished he would spare a little time to cater to your issues. His absence during your monthly checkups is not unusual. For the first three he held your hand and sat with you, on the fourth he left in the middle due to an urgent matter, and these last two he has been out of the castle altogether. Since your third appointment, when your hopes of being pregnant were at its highest, he seemed to have a very negative attitude toward your checkups. He told you he did not intentionally avoid these meetings, and you think that is partly true, but you know that he must hate the constant rejection and is deliberately making himself unavailable when he thinks you will be rejected again. He would much rather hear the bad news from you instead of your cold doctor.
When you asked your father to accompany you, he sort of grimaced and then politely declined. You understand, the thought of addressing the fact that your daughter has not only been deflowered, but is being repeatedly taken in the efforts of bearing fruit is sickening to you, too. Also, he is not very adept at comforting you when you break down like this, face buried in your husband’s pillows and shoulders shaking with sobs.
Telling by the ache in your skull and the completely soaked through cushion beneath your head, a long time has passed by the time you finally raise your face at the sound of Jimin shuffling into your bedroom. He shivers once the door is closed again, expecting warmth but being met with bitterness.
“It is freezing in here.” He rasps beneath his breath, ignoring you momentarily to light the fireplace, moving to shed the outer layers of his clothing once the fire is of decent size. The single glance he took at you upon entering is all he needed to know what has transpired, and he is in no rush to hear the devastating words. It’s only until he is in comfortable attire that he turns to face you, easing your head onto his chest with a curled bottom lip before he’s even settled properly on the mattress. “My love...”
Your tears flow freely onto his chest and he says nothing, sighing into your hair because by now this has become a common occurrence.
“She said it might be,” You snivel, “because of the poison.” He closes his eyes, having suspected the same thing but praying that it was not true. He wondered if the poison would have any long lasting effects on you, or on your future offspring, but dismissed the thought immediately. Although he knows nothing of what the doctor has said, he feels discouraged nonetheless. His past failure to protect you continues to circle around his head like a vulture, tormenting him to no end and making its appearance to pick at his wounds whenever he starts to move on from it. Six months feels like a long time, but it is apparent that his emotional scars need far longer to fully heal. And for that he owes to Jinwoo.
“I am s-sorry for being s-so weak.” You wipe your nose, face red and puffy from both tears and embarrassment. “Half a year ago you had not yet seen me shed tears, and now...” Almost as if the word itself had summoned them, fresh droplets fall from your eyes, looking pitifully up at the man who had stolen your heart. Only, he must have given it back to you at some point because you feel too much these days and you are tired of hurting like this. God, you probably look so ugly right now, you can feel how swollen and red your eyes and cheeks are, your self confidence plummeting to an all-time low.
“You are beautiful and strong, (Y/n), do not ever think less of yourself. You have good reason to feel the way you do, please do not think that you have to be stoic in front of me.” Like always, Jimin says exactly the right thing to ease your mind, using his hand to wipe your wet face and burrowing into the sheets with you attached to his side, his heat warming the icy sheets that drowned you when you had been alone.
Tumblr media
You retired to bed early last night, which is why you can afford to wake up with the sun this morning. Jimin sleeps soundly behind you, but his presence is felt stiffly on your ass between the thin layers of clothing. Snow twinkles on your windowsill, probably the last snow of the season, but you find the sun beaming as brightly as ever to illuminate the room. With the weather beginning to warm in preparation for spring, you’ve grown accustomed to the gentle sound of melting snow dripping outside your window. Mornings like these are scarce and you plan to make the most of it.
You attempt to turn and face your beloved, but his arms tighten around your waist, locking you in your position. A sleepy groan tickles your ear, the vibrations of his voice sending a shiver through you.
“You’re up early.” Jimin mumbles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. His voice is always so deep and raspy in the mornings, his dialect coming forth with a yawn. You could listen to him speak like that forever, but all you can think about at the moment is how good his moans would sound with the added rumble of bass that comes from sleep.
“So are you.” You snort with a sly wiggle of your hips. The twitch of his length against you sends a flash of exhilaration through your system— time has been short lately and it has been far too long since you’ve last felt him. Apparently he feels the same way, his hand effortlessly gliding up your rib cage to palm at your clothed breast with a deep sigh. You can tell his eyes are still closed due to the laziness of his movements, but it doesn’t matter when his tender touches set your body on fire like this.
His lips find their way to your neck as he shifts closer, kissing and sucking gently enough not to leave marks but to get your heart racing with need. “Take this off.” You follow his instructions and promptly shed the nightgown from your body, leaving you nude against him as he presses himself to you once again, this time slipping a hand between your legs. Your nipples harden from the brief chill of the room before you adjust the covers over your shoulder again, and Jimin takes advantage of this with two fingers, twisting the bud between them to send a spike of pleasure down your spine.
You muffle a groan once his fingers begin to tease at your lower lips, spreading them and toying with the outer skin just to build your anticipation. He wants you to drip before he’s even touched you properly, to whimper into the sheets until you can’t take it anymore and call out his name in frustration. Your clit gets pinched between his fingers when he squeezes them closed, trapping the bud as he continues to rub you up and down, and you find yourself panting in a matter of seconds. Soon, his fingers start to get coated in the essence that seeps from you. It’s so sexy that he can barely stand it. Jimin loves to feel your warm juices trickling out of you, working you up almost feels better than tending to himself, and his breathing hitches too when you begin to wiggle in his grasp.
“Look at my gorgeous Queen, getting soaking wet from just a few light touches. So cock hungry this early in the morning.” His words make you quiver and whine, the teasing quality of his voice right up against the shell of your ear driving you absolutely insane. “I’ll give you what you want if you tell me~” You hadn’t expected him to be so playful after just waking up, but it’s a pleasant surprise.
“I want you to make me cum,” You breathe out between pants. “Then I want you to pump me full of your seed. Please, My King.” Your words have their own special effect on him, evident by the lustful groan he releases into your hair and how his hips subtly shift behind you. Immediately, his fingers move to your clit to lightly graze over the hood until you buck into him, only then does he add pressure. Your back arches into his palm as he continues to play with your nipple, having turned his attention to the other in order to provide the same treatment, pulling and tweaking at it, working the nerves until they’re raw and sensitive enough to have you gasping with every flick.
Jimin doesn’t need to be able to see you in your entirety to know how you look right now. You’re completely helpless to his touch, he can feel you writhing against him and heating up the space between the sheets as your temperature rises. He can feel your heart beating hard against your chest— and he wonders if you can feel his from his position pressed against your back. It has been a while since he’s allowed himself to indulge in these fantasies. He’s pleased to know that he still has every inch of you committed to memory and is able to so easily have you at his fingertips, quite literally. These past months, your focus has been solely on procreating in the bedroom and rarely for the fun of it, so this is refreshing. But he still asks anyway.
“You want me to spill my seed into you, hm? Are you fertile right now?” His words slip past your ears as you lose yourself to the circles he draws into your bud, but somehow you manage to catch them at the last second.
“It does not matter, I want you anyway.” The answer is no, you aren’t at your most fertile at the moment, but this isn’t about that. Regardless of if anything will come of it or not, you want to feel Jimin paint your walls white with his love, something you think you’ve become addicted to. You bask in the feeling of having him throb and twitch and lose control while at the mercy of your tight walls, even when he’s pounding your weak frame into whatever surface he’s decided to take you on, and the thought has you galloping toward your peak faster than expected.
His leg slips between yours to prop them open, two of his fingers dancing their way into your clenching entrance, the intrusion pulling a loud moan from your lips. They glide and twirl within you much to your delight, but before you can enjoy it fully, they pop out and slither back up to your clit with a thick coating of your own slick. It doesn’t bother you, you could cum like this easily, but what really makes you gape is the feeling of Jimin’s hard member grinding against your ass. You can feel that his briefs are now damp with a mixture of precum and your wetness as you continue to drip down your thighs and make a mess of yourself, and you can’t help but rock your hips into his motion. You grind into each other with sensual synchronization and soon he’s panting along with you, the swollen head of his cock peeking out from his briefs to wet your cheek, teasing you endlessly.
“Jimin,” You whine, praying that he’ll let you cum quickly this morning despite his teasing mood. Every buck into his fingers shoots jolts of pleasure through you and every press against his hot cock has you throbbing at your emptiness. It’s a never-ending loop that has both of you moaning in no time, and it isn’t long before the coil in your stomach tightens to its peak. “Fuck, I’m cumming.” You whisper quietly, your breath being stolen away by the feeling of your orgasm. Your husband groans behind you, forcing his own hips to jerk to a stop as you roll against him to ride out the waves. He can feel you pulsing against his fingers and suddenly craves to feel you around his member, removing his hand from between your legs to push away his bottoms.
“Are you ready for me, darling?” He whispers with soft kisses to your shoulder as you begin to relax again. His tip glides effortlessly against your drenched lips and the fire inside you reignites instantly.
“I am always ready for you, my love.” Turning your head, you find his lips and savor the passionate kiss you share, a warmth blooming in your chest that saves you from the cold of the bedroom. Ever so slowly he pushes inside you, bringing a hand up to hold your face to his as his tongue slips between your lips. Vibrations mingle throughout your bodies as you both moan, the insertion tight as he stretches you open in the early morning light, his morning wood always so sensitive especially with your recent bout of abstinence. On the first thrust his fingers intertwine with yours, and this is the most intimate moment you’ve had with him in a long while. It feels like ages have passed since you’ve indulged each other in slow sex and you are starting to realize just how much you’ve craved it. “I missed you.” You mumble against his lips, barely wanting to pull away to look at him.
“I’ve missed you, too.” Jimin smiles, his eyes still closed but hand still caressing your face. He uses it to skim down your figure, hooking under your leg to lift it over his own and allow him deeper into your cavern, angling himself until you squeeze his hand with a shaky moan.
He honestly thinks he could stay like this forever: wrapped up in your warmth, surrounded by blankets, giving you all the love and pleasure he can provide. Things have been so hectic these last few months, an odd tension growing between you two that he can always feel but can’t quite put his finger on, but in these calm moments before the chaos of the day, he feels completely safe and at ease. Being King is no easy task, this he expected, but this is the only time he gets to shed the expectations, the pretenses, the pressure and just be your lover. Just like at the beginning of your relationship— and how things were 8 months ago, when the Crown was first placed in his hands.
You feel almost like a rag doll in his arms as he snaps his hips into you, allowing him to take you and guide you to bliss. Your hips rock back into him subtly, inner muscles squeezing around his shaft and gripping onto him, begging him to stay buried inside to occupy your lonely walls and empty womb. Pressure builds in your lower abdomen again, accompanied by a flush that takes over your body and warms you uncomfortably under the sheets. Jimin tosses the coverings aside when it gets too much, sweat slicking where your bodies connect. Your nails dig into the flesh of his ass when you reach a hand back to rest on the muscle, groaning at how you can feel every movement whenever his hips surge forward, his strength jolting you with his slow, powerful strokes. His length curves perfectly inside you, touching all your favorite spots and it becomes increasingly apparent that you won’t last long like this. He encourages you with gentle sweet nothings tickled against your ear.
“My lovely wife, always so good to me.” Jimin nuzzles his face in your hair, pulling you impossibly closer as his hand returns to your breast. “Always so soft and wet around my cock, darling. Are you getting close again, my love?” You whimper loudly and nod, not trusting your voice entirely when you’re feeling so breathless. “You sound so sweet moaning for me like that. Shall we let the entire castle know what a splendid morning we’re having together? Let them hear how well your King takes care of you.”
“Jimin~” You croon as he picks up pace, hips slapping against your backside and filling the air alongside your heavy breathing. Removing his bottom hand from yours, he props himself up on his elbow to look down over you, opening his legs wider to gain as much leverage as possible to fuck into you. The speed and power he achieves like this has you crying out into the open air, uncaring of who hears how wrecked you sound. You’re certain that the guards keeping watch at your door are uncomfortable by the display of lust, but who are they to judge when Jimin touches just the right places within you to have your body coming apart at the seams?
“Cum for me, my love,” Your husband’s voice feels distant as your thoughts float away. You are not aware enough to marvel at the sheer strength and endurance of his hips, his pace not faltering even once. Crumpling the sheets beneath you, you turn your face into the pillow as your body starts to quiver, a warm hand gripping onto your hip to keep you in place against the onslaught of pleasure. “There you go, milk me of my seed.”
Just the simple thought he plants in your mind’s eye is enough to send you into heaven, your walls clamping down around him with a scream of bliss, just as he requested. Feeling him so deeply makes your eyes roll, every stroke kissing the entrance of your womb and you pray he gives you every last drop he has. With only a few more pushes of his hips, you feel his body tense behind you and shiver, an overwhelmingly sexy groan breathed right into your ear.
It takes several moments of gentle thrusting before he’s satisfied, your body sufficiently full of his sperm and skin tingling with the aftermath of a beautiful orgasm you happily shared. Jimin kisses his way down from the side of your cheeks and neck to your shoulder and arm, ignoring the thin layer of perspiration that dries quickly in the brisk morning air. Though soft, he remains inside of you as he settles himself back against the mattress and holds your body to his, lifting the sheets to cover you before the chill returns. You feel safe. Completely and utterly safe and comfortable in your lover’s arms as you drift back to sleep.
But the peace is short lived because just as you begin to dream again, you feel Jimin pull out of you and shift away, attempting to be as stealthy as possible as he slips from bed. He winces when you turn to your other side to face him, sleepy eyes watching as he pulls on his underwear again. You are unable to return the sweet smile he offers you, already missing the way his skin felt against yours.
“Will you not stay to cuddle me?” You ask quietly, unable to understand why he must leave so soon. The smile on his face turns sad, eyes flickering to the door as several consecutive knocks sing on the wood.
“I have many duties to fulfill today, my love.”
‘And no time for me...’ You think with a poorly concealed frown, burrowing deeper into the bedspread when he opens the door for your servants, who get to work on preparing him for the day immediately. Deep down you know you likely will not interact with him until nightfall as he scrambles around the castle and kingdom serving his duties, but you try not to feel the distasteful irritation in your chest and send him off with a kiss when he makes his exit. Sometimes, though, you cannot help but think he was more eager to be with you when he was merely a soldier.
Tumblr media
Jimin sits at a round table meeting with his advisors to discuss the affairs of the kingdom, in which there is not much to report. This is a mandatory meeting they must have weekly and they rarely last long. Most of the time, the conversations divulge into unrelated, off topic subjects just to pass the time, and Jimin has no problem with this on most days. He has a good relationship with his advisors and there is almost never any need for him to use his status as King during their discussions. Today, however, his fuse is a little short. It may be because of the all too frequent restless nights he has been experiencing, or from the lack of quality time he has spent with you, but he is far more irritable than usual. All he can think about is how disappointed you looked when he left and how much he’d rather be cuddled up back in bed with you instead of sitting in front of this counsel.  
“Do not worry, the Queen has already taken care of it.” Someone says, he does not know who said it because he is barely paying attention.
“Pardon my coarseness, Your Highness, but it is my understanding that Her Majesty has not yet conceived.” The man presents this in a questioning manner, but Jimin can hear the underlying condescension.
“You are correct.” He replies in a low voice.
“It has been 9 months since your matrimony. She should bear your heirs with haste.” The room swells with voices as his advisors begin to talk about you, each taking their turn to put in their opinions and criticism. He can hardly believe what he is hearing. They speak as though it is your fault that you are not pregnant, as if you are being defiant by not bearing him children, like it is a choice that you have made consciously. Anger bubbles in his chest, blood boiling as they continue ranting about you right in front of him as though they were not saying terrible things about his wife. He stands abruptly upon hearing someone tell a story about how his wife refused to birth him any more children because he “was acting like one” himself. Jimin interrupts just as the man is about to make a comment about stubborn wives, his voice billowing from his throat like heavy plumes of smoke that quickly engulf the room.
“How dare you speak of my wife— your Queen— in such a disrespectful manner! Do you accuse her of treachery against me? Against this nation? You have the gall to insult her efforts on something she cannot control, to doubt her intentions and loyalty to this kingdom and her own family? I should have you all removed from this castle permanently for suggesting such a thing, what do you have to say about that?!” He looks around the silent room at each of their faces, all of them looking utterly shocked by his outburst. Jimin has never needed to assert his authority over them like this, but they have gone too far today. Though he is the youngest in the room, he is easily the most intimidating when angry, regardless of if he were the King or not. Drawing in a deep breath, he tries to calm himself, running a hand through his hair as he takes his seat once more. “It is my fault anyway, not hers. It is my duty as well.”
It is quiet for a long while, the men around the table hesitate to speak again until one man builds up the courage to break the stillness.
“Do not despair, Your Highness, you are both still young, there is plenty of time to have children.” He reassures, followed by similar comforting phrases from the others. Jimin does not respond as he stares out of the window, a solemn look overtaking his face in place of the relaxed and neutral expression he normally wears. He wonders if you face this criticism regularly wherever you go, if people who are supposed to be your supporters are slowly losing hope in you. You already beat yourself up about not being pregnant, he fears what would happen if those thoughts were validated by others. Something must be done about this immediately.
It is silent for another long pause. “You are all dismissed.” He says with a flick of his hand.
*** *** ***
Your servants follow you around quite stubbornly, attempting (and failing) to be as unnoticeable as possible, but their presence is the only thing you can focus on. If you sigh too heavily they all come scurrying over, asking what was the matter, offering to take care of whatever task you had set out to complete. Yes, it was your mother’s dying wish for you to accept your loyal attendants, and it was your father’s order for them to look after you, but you cannot help but feel that this treatment is a bit excessive. It is almost laughable when you reflect on it: how just a year prior you were known largely for your independence, and now you could hardly find a moment to yourself. The only times you can get away with having minimal supervision is when you go out into town, where you may request only one or two guards or servants to accompany you.
Since becoming the official Queen of this nation, you have taken it upon yourself to care for the nuances of your society, to help individuals and keep a close relationship with the people. Jimin was focused on many of the larger issues that affected groups of citizens, like rebuilding one of the marketplaces that suffered damages in a fire last week, as well as handling international business with neighboring kingdoms. Naturally, everyone took a great liking to him and his policies and the people offered him immense support, but your job as Queen was to support the people. So, every week you go into town and buy a book from a novice writer, read it, then publish an unofficial review for the stories you enjoy. Not only does this boost the writer’s credibility, popularity, and sales, it also allows you to communicate with your people. Your presence in town never goes unnoticed, and often times people give you great recommendations on stories you should interest yourself with. It is the highlight of your week since all you can do is read in the quiet moments within the castle.
It is now early spring, trees budding with sweet smelling blossoms and the beginnings of greenery, displaying their proud potency in brilliant hues that bleach you into the gray of a dead willow. Still, your spirits are beginning to lift the farther you distance yourself from the castle. Walking through town, you breathe in all of the scents around you. Street vendors sell an array of foods that you do not see within the castle often and your mouth waters as you step up to one, picking out a pastry covered in sugar, something that you can easily pull apart with your fingers without the need of utensils. Before you can lift it to your mouth, the guard beside you stops you, plucking a small piece for himself to taste for poison. As a royal, you always thought this job was unnecessary and ridiculous before, but after the catastrophe at your wedding, you now understand it’s significance. That does not stop you from pouting, however, as you are forced to wait at least 5 minutes before the stiff guard allows you to dig into your snack.
You continue through the market, admiring crafts from artisans with masterful handiwork and struggle to keep your hand out of your purse whenever something catches your eye. This market is not the closest to the palace, in fact, it is quite far from it, but you have found that the most valuable work comes from the honest workers that live in smaller homes and lead honest lives, not from the traders and merchants who buy their goods from others and claim them as their own in the wealthy districts. The people who live on the outskirts work harder, and they are the ones you need to support the most.
“This would look beautiful hanging from the palace walls, don’t you think?” You turn toward Lilian as she browses the collection of jewelry that sits beside the tapestry you are holding, her eyes inspecting it briefly.
“I think it would look lovely in one of the sitting rooms.” She grins. Lilian always accompanies you on these types of trips. You value her opinion and reason and sympathize with her lack of outside interaction. Both of you are in the palace at almost all times and you are sure you both would go crazy if not for these couple hours outside those claustrophobic walls.
“I think so, too!” You agree, turning to the guard who continues to survey the area. “What do you think, Kyungsoo?”
He looks at it for a while, then at the others around it, finally bringing his eyes back to yours. “Whatever you desire, Your Majesty. My opinion is insignificant.” His answer causes your face to fall, rolling your eyes at him because he always says that. This is another reason why you bring Lilian along.
Sauntering into your favorite bookstore, you cheerfully greet the clerk and begin browsing for newly released books. Not long after, two women approach you, one of which you recognize to be the bookkeeper’s daughter and a new friend of yours. She always comes to talk to you about the store’s newest additions, and it gives others around her the confidence to speak to you as well. Today she is with a slightly older woman who she introduces as a rising author.
“I believe I have read one of your books before; remind me, which ones have you written?” You prompt, making the woman blush and brighten.
“Snowflower is my most popular work. It is all thanks to your review that I was finally able to get noticed in the writing community!” She beams, sparking conversation with you and Lilian about the book that the two of you enjoyed so much. It must be more than 15 minutes later that you finally decide on what to purchase, you have been listening closely to all that the ladies have to say about each author and the summaries of each story. There were multiple that piqued your interest and you could not decide so you ended up with 3 books in hand as your friend walked you to the register. One of them happens to be a story following the trials and struggles of a mother who becomes pregnant during a war. Of course you hadn’t picked this book for its theme of motherhood. It promised to be a good read— though you had overlooked it many times before today— and you certainly did not choose it because it was the closest thing to a lesson on pregnancy you could get without purchasing the entire series of “Preparing for Parenthood”, perched on a shelf that you found yourself eying the majority of your stay in the store.
Your friend talks mindlessly as she rings you up for your books, inspecting your odd selection. “So tell me, Your Majesty, are you with ch- ow!” The woman beside her pinches her arm just out of your sight, offering up a tight lipped smile when she turns to pout at her. A short flash of realization crosses her face before she returns her attention to you.
“Am I with whom?” You ask, confused.
“Are you with t-the children! Have you- have you come to see the preschoolers perform today?” She covers quickly with a nervous smile. Lilian glares at her when you are facing the other way.
“Oh! I recall hearing that they will be performing a play today, I nearly forgot!” The people around you sigh in relief at your obliviousness, resuming conversation as though nothing had happened. They give you instructions to the school and you rush there, Lilian carrying your books and Kyungsoo leading the way.
When you arrive, there are only parents and family members filling the auditorium, signifying that the play has not yet started. They chat amongst themselves in a rumble of murmurs, but the noise quiets quickly once you are noticed by a teacher that stands near the stage area.
“Her Majesty!” She gasps. “Welcome, welcome!” She practically runs to you, approaching clumsily while Kyungsoo moves to shield you with his body, stopping the woman before she can get too close. You gently move him aside to allow the woman to see and speak directly to you. “I had no idea that the Queen would be visiting today! To what do I owe you the pleasure?”
“I have come to see the children perform. It is imperative of me as Queen to support our kingdom’s youth.” You smile, noticing a weird look that crosses her face for a moment before smoothing out. Lilian has a tight smile spread across her lips just out of your peripheral.
“Of course! Well, you are just in time, the show is about to begin.” She tries to clear the front row of parents for you, but you insist that the parents of the children should get the best seats, settling for the chairs she pulls up for you at the sides of the small theater.
The moment the toddlers waddle onto stage in their costumes, your heart liquifies. They are the cutest things you have ever seen. Some of them look confused, some are pouting, but most of them are excitedly waving at their parents in the crowd, nearly tripping over each other from not looking at what’s happening in front of them. Even more heartwarming is the reactions of the parents, each and every one of them sitting up straighter and beaming with joy at the sight of their offspring, even the parents who had previously looked bored. Your attention is split between what is happening onstage and in the crowd throughout the entire play, watching the silent interactions between child and parent. You could always tell which tot belonged to which parent because of their reactions. Every child had their own lines, and whenever one stepped up to speak, the parents would lean in closer to the stage or straighten up to send a thumbs up to the wide eyes that stare back at them.
At some point, you had begun to imagine what it would be like if your own child were up there. You scan the faces of the toddlers, determining that a shy little girl bears the closest resemblance to your future baby, and you watch her the entire rest of the play. Her finger reaches into her nose several times during the performance, something your toddler would be forced to learn not to do, and she appears to be quite hesitant to say her lines. You and Jimin would act just as her parents are now, waving at her and mouthing words of encouragement when it seems like she will not speak at all, smiling proudly after she executes her parts flawlessly. Jimin would probably hold your hand as you watch her and you would be able to feel the sweat on his palms from how much he would worry for her, whispering to you how he hopes she will not cry because of how shy and quiet she tends to be. And you would whisper back that your baby is talented and will do great because she is very mature for her age, being a Princess and all.
Your eyes do not leave the girl for a minute and you are so caught up in your fantasy that you almost miss when everyone stands to clap at the end of the show. You rise slowly and offer your applause, cheeks hurting from smiling too much, but you cannot ignore the bittersweet feeling in your chest that comes when all of the children disperse and run into the arms of their waiting parents. And you are forced to remember your situation. The teacher begs you to make closing remarks and you take your place on the empty stage to address your people. Unable to focus properly, you barely know what you are saying; you thank the students and teachers for a great show, repeat a total of 4 times how adorable the children were, speak at length about how much you enjoyed everything, and once you notice that you’re rambling, you conclude quickly and move from the spotlight awkwardly. The families don’t seem to notice as they return their attention to gushing over their babies.
Just as you are about to make your exit, someone runs up to you and stops at your feet, her hair barely reaching the bottoms of your knees as she looks up at you. It is the girl you had been watching, and her arms reach up to be held once you make eye contact with her. At the approval of her parents, you lift her light body and rest her on your hip, the position comfortable and natural despite you having held a child only a few times in your life. You congratulate her and she smiles at you, turning to look at her parents as you try not to marvel at how perfectly innocent and sweet her face is.
“Your Majesty,” Her mother greets with a bow. “I was very surprised to see you here today. I had heard that you often come to these parts of town, but I would have never expected you to grace us with your presence on an occasion like this.” She is very polite, noting how the little girl has taken a liking to you already.
“I believe it is important to keep in touch with my people, and what better way is there to connect with you all than to attend a performance of my kingdom’s children?” You grin.
“I heard rumors that lately you had been feeling quite under the weather.” At this you quirk an eyebrow. She continues. “Many had assumed you were pregnant, so word spread that the King would not allow you out of the palace and that is why you had been absent for the past few weeks.” As if Jimin could tell you what to do. Yes, it is true that you had not gone outside of the palace in about 3 weeks, but that was of your own accord.
Jimin’s mother had taken a short vacation to your home upon your request after you detailed to her your troubles with conceiving in a lengthy letter, and she spent those three weeks improving your physical health with things like yoga and kegal exercises, as well as offering you very blunt and personal advice that you were almost too embarrassed to put into practice. Jimin warned you of how she was unafraid to talk about intimate topics, recalling a specific conversation she had with him in his teenage years, but you were still unprepared for the sheer amount of information she gave you during that time. You simply did not have time to go on your weekly shopping trips.
“That is... not the case.” You reply, adjusting the girl on your hip.
“Oh, then you are not pregnant?” The woman seems surprised and Lilian seems almost outraged, cutting in when you open and close your mouth with no other response.
“We have not been to this part of your town yet, are there any places you suggest we visit?” Lilian’s voice sounds through her teeth, swiftly changing the subject. You didn’t think you would have trouble talking about this, but here you stand, blinking away tears at her question. The girl’s mother seems to realize her mistake when she takes in your watery eyes that you try to hide with a fake smile. You let Lilian continue her conversation as you wander away a few steps, pretending to inspect your surroundings as you gather yourself, until a nearby newspaper catches your eye. On the cover are the words “KING’S NEW ORDERS! PROTECT THE QUEEN” and your heart jumps at the suddenness. You bend carefully to turn the page and read the article, a mix of emotions rushing through your body that almost makes you lose grip on the child in your arms when you understand their significance. You quickly return her to her parents, excusing yourself from them on the pretense that you had to be back at the palace for important business, and you instruct Kyungsoo to guide you back to the carriage to head home.
Tumblr media
Upon entering your bedroom, Jimin finds a note on the bed in your writing, reading it with curiosity. It leads him to a familiar place and he hurries there with mild concern, mind rushing with thoughts of what your note could have meant.
Curled up in your favorite chair, he finds you reclining with a new book in hand as you look through the window of your Secret Library. Your servants know nothing of this place, you and Jimin have made certain that it’s location remains hidden, so this is the only place you can truly be alone. To his knowledge, you only come here when something is troubling you or when you need to think, and his mind jumps to all of the worst case scenarios of what could have happened.
“My love, you wished to speak with me?” He asks, approaching urgently as according to your urgent letter. But you remain relaxed and unresponsive as you continue to flip through the pages of your novel. He looks down to inspect your choice reading, taking note that it speaks of a woman who, in this current scene, is just learning that she is pregnant. You take your time reading it, only turning to him after the chapter is finished. When you turn to him your eyes are blank and unreadable.
“Why have you placed a censorship on our people, My King?” You ask suddenly, and it takes him aback.
“A c-censorship?” He stutters out.
“Yes, you recently placed a censorship on the people of this kingdom, have you not?” You look him in the eyes and find that he can barely hold eye contact, his entire body tense. It is difficult for him to respond, especially since you were not supposed to know about this, at least not this soon.
“It is not a censorship.” He evades.
“Really? So you have not ordered our people to be silent about anything pertaining to pregnancy and children around me?” He fidgets under your piercing tongue, unsure of how to respond. “That sounds quite close to censorship to me.”
“It is only to protect you, My Queen,” He relents, stepping closer to you as you snap your book closed. “People can be very insensitive and I did not want you to be hurt by their words.”
“Hurt by their words? What words would they have said to me? I am not a child, Jimin, you need not protect me from words!” Your volume rises along with the redness of your face. “Are the people criticizing me in some way? What have they said? What have you heard to make you so wary of words?”
“Their words hurt me, (Y/n).” He says quietly as he lowers himself to his knees and takes hold of your hands when he sees the worry in your eyes. “What I heard hurt me, and I could not bear the thought that you may hear such things too. I did not do this because I think you are not strong enough to endure it, I did it because you do not deserve to hear such negativity.”
“Even so, how dare you make such a rash decision without consulting me.” You remove your hands from his and he does not reach for them again. “You saw me directly after your council meeting last week and mentioned not a word of this to me. If you had asked, I would have told you that none of this is necessary, that I can handle whatever my people have to say about me because I am the Queen!” Your voice cracks annoyingly as you fight back hot tears. “I should be able to answer them when they ask me questions. And maybe I should hear what they say about me. Because they are correct, I am not pregnant and I do not know if I can ever become pregnant and maybe they should be worried. My sensitivity should not warrant their silence.”
“You are not sensitive, my love, you have every right to feel the way that you do.” You ignore him.
“But what troubles me the most is how you so easily excluded me. You acted without my consent and planned to keep this from me indefinitely— you even made sure Lilian was the first to know so that she could keep watch over me today! What happened to our communication, Jimin? We should be able to talk to each other about anything and everything, but instead you felt the need to keep something so important a secret from me. You could have simply talked to me and told me how you feel. It feels as though we have not spoken in days, it is almost like you aren’t trying anymore. It feels like you have given up.”
The fire in your tone dies down until all that is left is pain, and Jimin realizes that it is he who has hurt you the most.
Lilian told him about where you went today and how you acted. She told him of the lost and pained look in your eyes as you watched the children, even though you were smiling. Most importantly, she relayed your exact reaction when that woman asked if you were pregnant. It was just as he had feared. Putting these pieces of information together with the book you had been reading, Jimin knows that this argument is about more than what you’d like him to believe.
“This is no longer about the censorship, is it?” He asks cautiously, guilt leaking onto his features. You appear shocked at first, not having realized your own subliminal shift from the topic, but then your face twists with emotion and you bite your lip and turn your head from him in an effort to hold yourself together. You are tired of crying in front of him.
“You-“ Sniffling, you try to control the shakiness of your voice. “You do not talk to me anymore. I never know how you are feeling these days because you have been avoiding me.”
“I do not try to avoid you, my love.” He frowns, moving his hand to rest on your knee.
“It feels like you are. You do not come to my health examinations anymore, you can never seem to make time for them.” He opens his mouth to speak, but you don’t let him. “I am always forced to go through them alone and I sit there the entire time wishing that you were there to hold me or reassure me, but I’m always alone. And it may be easier for you to hear the bad news from my mouth, but it hurts me more every time I am forced to tell you that I have failed once again. And we haven’t tried in a long while, I am beginning to fear that you no longer want to touch me.” Your eyes convey a deeper pain than your words can communicate, and the earnestness in them when you look at him breaks his heart. He didn’t mean to make you feel this way, it‘s the last thing he would want.
“I still very much want you, My Queen, I always will. I have been hesitant to initiate anything with you as of late because you seemed so disheartened and dejected and I did not want to further upset you with inappropriate timing. I have also been struggling to keep my optimism, forgive me for my misjudgment.”
“That is another problem,” You sigh, knitting your eyebrows. “I have no idea what you are thinking or feeling. You always comfort me and tell me that I can be open with my emotions with you, yet you do not listen to your own advice and tend to lock up around me. It will not lessen my sadness, but to know that you are just as affected by this as I am and that I am not overreacting would give me the tiniest bit of comfort. But when you force yourself to appear unaffected, it feels as though I am the only one who cares.”
“But I am the King,” Jimin starts, conflicted. “I cannot afford to show weakness or lament in our misfortunes. I must be strong for the people.”
“Strength is not the only trait of value!” You hiss, irritated that he has this perception that is so inaccurate. “Emotion does not always entail vulnerability and the people will see that. They adore how much you care about them, how you grieve with them when you learn of their losses, so why would it be inappropriate for you to care about me? Do not forget that you are also my husband. That is what you signed up for on our wedding day; you married me and the kingdom followed. Why is it that I am never your priority?!”
Sadness transforming into boiling rage, you stand and push past him toward the exit. This is your first real argument with him and it seems that everything that has been bothering you for the past few months is now exploding out of your mouth. You did not mean for your words to be so harsh, yet you could not control them and figured that you should let everything out while you had the chance. Much of your frustration is about your own incompetence, but you redirect it toward him because you cannot handle anymore mental self-abuse. A tiny part of you wants him to yell back at you and affirm everything you already thought about the direction of your relationship just so you could be right about something for once. Most of you, however, wants him to run after you, take you into his arms, look you in the eye and dispel all of your worries by pouring out his heart to you.
And that is exactly what he does.
“My love, do not run away.” He says gently, grabbing your hand before you can even make it 3 steps past him. He moves to the front of you, taking your face in his palms so he can stare into your eyes, hoping they can fill in the blanks between his words. “You are always my priority and you always will be. I-“ He sighs, looking away for a second before returning to you. “I do not always make the best choices, and for that I apologize. Being your husband and a King is far different than being a military general, and it is taking longer to adjust than I anticipated. I love you so much, to the point where I am afraid of making mistakes and losing your heart somehow, so I try too hard to be perfect. I take care of your kingdom because it was yours before it was mine and I know how dearly you hold it’s people. I try to be as tough as possible for you because I thought you would expect it of me when you were feeling weak.” His hands fall to your shoulders. “As a General, I learned that the only way to gain respect and love was to work hard and solve all issues, but it appears that I will need a different mindset in this situation. Because it seems I have become too consumed with work and too busy to show my love for you, and I know I will need to change that if I want to be a good father to our children.”
“You do not need to change at all, Jimin. Who you are trying so hard to be is not the same man you were when I met you. Yes, you were strong in front of others, but you never closed yourself to me. I do not want you to change or pretend to be tough, I want you to be you, because that is who I married.” This causes him to think back to how he has behaved in recent months. Maybe he was avoiding your appointments purposely so he wouldn’t have the chance to break down in front of the doctor or Lilian. And maybe he had been ignoring you so he wouldn’t have to face his own pain that you reflected. He’s been treating you unfairly in an effort to play a role that doesn’t exist, and he welcomes the guilt that slaps him in the face at the realization. He hates that he ended up like this even after all that you went through in the aftermath of your wedding. It is like he had forgotten all that he promised you.
“I apologize for everything, My Queen. I will remove the censorship immediately.” His head bows with heaviness. “I do still want a family with you, but maybe we should take a break from trying, just for a little while. Maybe this building friction between us and the stress it caused has been affecting our fertility. Maybe we are trying too hard and should take your advice to just be ourselves. A baby should be made from love, not by expectation. I do not want-“ He thinks about his next sentence carefully. “I want to improve our relationship first, before our attention is shifted to other matters. We are young and have not yet been married a year, my love, we will have plenty of time to conceive. Let me make up for the neglect you have suffered these past months. Let us take it one day at a time.”
He’s right, your relationship has been strained, and it is not only from the fact that you are not pregnant. The discord between you two has taken a toll on your body: you are constantly exhausted, your head pounds with headaches most days, and the loneliness has changed your positive attitude into one of sulking and disdain. It has changed you. So how could you think of bringing a child into this world when you are at this level of dysfunction? Things needed to be resolved first, and here he is, willing to work everything out with you after accepting his faults. You couldn’t possibly reject him.
Tumblr media
It’s been nearly a month since your argument, and things have taken a turn for the better. You helped Jimin realize something he didn’t quite understand before: that as King, anything he says goes, so he has been taking frequent days off to spend time with you. He’s taken you on many dates around the kingdom, showing you his favorite places to go when he was a child, exploring different towns you hadn’t gotten a chance to see yet, he even accompanied you on your shopping day to meet some of the friends you’d made. Being able to spend time with him like this reminds you of what it felt like in the beginning of your relationship. The novelty of seeing him and the excitement you’d feel in the pit of your stomach. Except this excitement is now from your curiosity of what activities you’ll do with him that day and not from the thrill of possibly being caught together by servants.
You’ve kept things fairly innocent these past few weeks, focusing on rebuilding your emotional connection instead of being physical. You’d lost a lot of weight during the months you were at odds with Jimin, but you’re happy to say that you’re gaining it back now that you’re paying more attention to your health and happiness and not the crazy diets and detoxes that people recommended to you to help with conception. What’s more, you’ve been keeping busy by accompanying Jimin on his political duties instead of remaining put away in the palace. He didn’t want to involve you in political affairs to keep your stress levels low, but you remind him that you’ve been involved in things like that since you where a young princess, so this is the norm. So now you happily travel with him out of the kingdom to attend meetings with neighboring rulers and assure them of your health.
This is the first trip you’ve taken, and it feels absolutely liberating. Seokjin insisted that you and your husband stay in his family’s vacation home located in the area— one of many acquired throughout his travels as a collector and salesman— and it is arguably nicer than the one offered by the royals of this kingdom. Perhaps not as luxurious (though very close to it) but certainly more private. You’d take any opportunity to escape any hovering servants. Your eyes sparkle as you walk through the doors, taking in the modern furniture, high ceilings, and breathtaking view of the green valley and hills surrounding you. The altitude is quite a bit higher than you’re used to, the kingdom poised along a mountainside and sourcing its water from the river that flows through the valley below.
You blame this altitude for the sick feeling in your stomach and the lightness of your head, trying your hardest to keep your etiquette and not plop face first onto the huge mattress. You sit gingerly on the edge, aided by Jimin, who kept hold of your arm ever since he saw you swaying when you stepped out of the carriage. He fusses over you, letting out a disgruntled grumble when you remind him that you saw the doctor before your departure and she found no troubling conditions within you— not even pregnancy, which you were disappointed to hear, but not surprised. The symptoms come and go and you assure him that all you need is some rest and you’ll be back on your feet, and he leaves you under the watch of Lilian and Kyungsoo (who accompany you everywhere) while he travels to the castle to greet the King and assure him of your safe arrival. You nap while he’s away and awake just in time for dinner, feeling refreshed and symptom free, much to his relief.
Being away from the palace and kingdom is sure to do wonders for your physical and mental health. Just being here with the people you love is a breath of fresh air, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face. Seated at the table accompanied by Jimin, Lilian, and Kyungsoo, you feel this is the closest thing you’ll have to a family dinner for a long while. As your servant, Lilian never eats with you at the same time, let alone at the same table, but you begged her to join you and fill the evening air with casual chatter. Kyungsoo is your favorite guard and you’ve always wanted to get to know him, but he remains relatively quiet throughout the meal and never lets his guard down, taking the farthest seat from his monarchs to silently observe. Typical. With your energy levels still quite low, Jimin and Lilian do their best to raise your spirits by showing off their goofy sides, telling stories and making you laugh almost nonstop. But just seeing them bond so well is enough to make your heart swell. You wonder if Jimin will have this type of relationship with your children, one where they can joke freely and build trust with each other without being hindered by the forced power dynamic. You hope their relationship will be better than the somewhat estranged one you have with your father.
“Are you comfortable, my love?” Jimin asks as you settle in for bed. This mattress seems to be made from the clouds of the heavens, you’ve never felt relaxation like this. You’ll have to purchase one for your own bedroom.
“Yes, My King.” You return, grinning at the way his cheeks lift. He climbs in behind you after blowing out the lanterns, the scent of smoke wafting gently through the room.
“How are you feeling? Better?” He sounds tired and you have no desire to keep him awake with your troubles, so you nod.
“Yes, after my nap and dinner, I feel just fine.” You don’t mention your growing headache because you’re certain a good night’s sleep will resolve it. You’re feeling uncharacteristically tired, exhausted even, and it’s most likely from the long journey here. Hopefully, you’ll wake up refreshed and energized in the morning.
“Alright. Let me know if you need anything tonight.” He whispers, already starting to drift off.
“I won’t trouble you.” You assure him, sinking into slumber.
Tumblr media
“Are you sure you are well enough to go out today?” Lilian sifts through your clothing, trying to decide what to dress you in for today’s events, accounting for the warm mid-spring weather. She is alone in the bedroom with you, Jimin having stepped out to give you privacy while getting ready.
“Yes, I am feeling much better.” This isn’t a lie. Although you felt extremely sluggish upon first waking up, you now feel great. Jimin had asked you about a thousand questions before leaving bed this morning and at breakfast, and you dispelled each one of his worries with confidence.
“I am glad to hear that, but please do pay attention to your condition, Your Highness.” She says this as she holds up a pristine gown for your approval, handing it to you when you nod both at her words and fashion choice.
She doesn’t need to vocalize what’s on her mind, you know what she’s thinking, and frankly, you’ve been having the same thoughts. But your doctor was very clear that you are not pregnant when you saw her before the trip. Also, you bleed 2 weeks ago, and though it was short-lived, it was accompanied by cramps and headaches, dutifully reminding you of your empty womb. So you ignore Lilian’s concerns and move about your day like normal, smothering the tiny bud of hope that tries to bloom in your chest.
“Are you excited for today’s meeting?” Moving away from the topic, she smiles at you through the mirror at the way your face lights up, beginning her work on your hair.
“This is the most excited I have felt in a long while! It will be my first diplomatic duty as Queen.” Finally, you feel useful.
“Would you like me to accompany you?” What she means is ‘would you like me to keep an eye on you to make sure you are feeling okay/ nothing bad happens��� but you pretend not to notice.
“No, Lilian, I want you to treat this as a vacation of sorts. You work so hard my humble, loyal friend. Go and explore the towns, have fun while we’re away from the kingdom.”
“I do not want a vacation, I want to make sure you are alright.” She responds quietly, blushing. You hum.
“Respectfully, I do not need to be looked after like a child.” You chuckle. “I can do well on my own. Besides, Jimin and Kyungsoo will be there if anything happens.”
“Then I will take my leave tomorrow after I make sure you are alright today.” She says stubbornly, not meeting your eyes in the mirror. “I cannot relax in good conscience without being assured of your safety.” Nodding, you accept her terms with a smirk.
Tumblr media
“Always a pleasure to see you, Queen (Y/n).” King Jackson smiles at you, bowing his head in greeting. You grin widely as you sit across from him and his wife at the large conference table, Jimin placed closely at your side.
“You as well, Jackson.” Last you saw him, he was a prince. In fact, he submitted the first marriage proposal you’d ever received, asking your father for your hand in marriage as soon as he heard you were of age. He is a little less than 4 years older than you, handsome, bubbly personality, likable and charming on all fronts, and you had no qualms with marrying him, but you also had no desire to leave your kingdom to rule another. As King, he would have you move into his castle and be at his service where you would likely not hold any power or say in most matters involving the people, something that deeply displeased you, so you turned him down. Now he has a wife and several small children, as well as the throne and an entire kingdom to lead. And as of your coronation, he is your kingdom’s closest ally.
“No need to be so formal, Queen.” He jokes, immediately setting a relaxed atmosphere. You are meeting to discuss and update the terms of a treaty between your allied nations, one that your fathers had written and agreed upon many years ago, but legally needs to be reviewed thanks to the recent shift in power. Your father is quite close with Jackson’s own, therefore you have a good relationship with the young King from years of getting acquainted during your childhood. Jimin, however, has no such history with the man and seems rather tense around the lighthearted playful. “I was disappointed when you refused by marriage proposal, but it seems that you have chosen a handsome and competent spouse in my place, just as I have.” He grins, winking at his wife, Lena.
“It was never ‘your place’, do not be so big headed,” You roll your eyes but he ignores your quip, eyes trained on Jimin.
“We spoke yesterday evening, but I am intrigued to get to know more of you, King Park. May I call you Jimin?” Jackson barely waits for a reply before continuing. “I must know more of the man whom I am to be allied with, and the man who married the ever-so-independent princess.”
“I must admit, I am curious about you, too. But if my beloved trusts and acknowledges you, then I will do the same.” Reaching under the table, Jimin’s hand finds yours and you smirk, pleased that he won’t let the other King intimidate him.
“Regarding the treaty;” Jackson pulls out a long document, skimming over the lengthy script that you are both irritatingly familiar with. “Will our kingdom’s continue to remain allied during times of war, help financially and provide resources in times of natural disaster, respect the borders set by each nation without the intention of gaining territory, and continue to keep trade borders open?” He reads off the major points of the list, you and Jimin answering with a ‘yes’ to each. “Is there anything else you would like to add?”
“Not that I can think of.” You respond, Jimin saying the same. Feeling satisfied by your responses, Jackson signs his name under the print of your fathers, passing the document to you for your signature. But you slide the paper to your husband, whose name appears in ink now instead of yours. Surprised by this, you can see the unfiltered comment bubbling out from the brazen King’s dome.
“I would not have expected, (Y/n), that you would submit the powers of your status to a man.” It is obvious that he has already assumed that your action means that you no longer hold the highest authority in your own land, but you are both quick to correct him.
“You are mistaken.” Your voices harmonize into one as you say this, Jimin continuing on to explain. “My Queen has not yielded even an inch of power to me. As I am sure you know, she is fully capable of handling affairs such as these, any responsibility she has shifted to me has been due to her own discretion.” Though his tongue is quick, Jimin is sure to keep a light, non-malicious tone so as not to offend your friend. You’d much rather focus on internal public affairs, leaving international and business related issues to your husband. But it seems others have the wrong idea about you.
The man across from you blinks at this, raising his eyebrows, and you know Jimin has just gained a large amount of respect in his eyes. You find it quite flattering to see him so defensive of you and you give an approving squeeze of his hand.
“As expected,” Jackson hums with a grin, receiving the document as Jimin passes it back to him. “Well, it seems that our business here is complete! Shall we have champagne to celebrate this swift agreement?” He doesn’t realize his error until his wife nudges him in the ribs and he looks up to see your faces pulled into wide-eyed frowns. “Ah, yes— my apologies,” He scratches his neck bashfully. “Then, may I interest you in some exercise?” Eyes boring straight into Jimin’s, he asks this as the men share a look.
“Oh, this is so exciting!” Lena beams, nearly bouncing in her seat as you both observe from a bench on the side of the field. Somehow you hadn’t expected this when Jackson offered his proposal. Your husbands are standing in a marked area with protective gear covering their bodies and gleaming swords, preparing for a sparring match in the warm weather. The sun beats down on you as you squint at them, using your hand to shade your eyes before Lilian appears with a parasol to place over your head. “Have you ever seen your husband fight before?” She asks, staring at your side profile.
“Never.” You respond. “This should be interesting.” Admittedly, you tend to shy away from violence, resenting the thought of people battling each other for bloody glory. Though you are in charge of the military, you never ask for too many details, and skillfully avoid any training grounds near the castle. It may be ironic, then, that you married a General who has seen more battles than he’s cared to mention and carries more scars than he’d care to explain. But you must admit that you’re intrigued by the spectacle he’s sure to put on for you, comforted by the fact that this is completely safe.
“Jackson has been training sword for most of his life, but has never seen an actual battle. I wonder how their skills will compare.” Lena states proudly, sipping from the drink one of her servants comes to offer, dismissed when you decline.
“I hear that you were a General, King Park.” Jackson checks the cap at the tip of his sword, nodding to the instructor that stands at his side.
“I’d like to think that I still am one.” Jimin responds as he stretches out his stiff muscles.
“Even after being promoted to Commander in Chief?”
“I’ve done nothing to earn that title but get married.” The man before him hums.
“I assume you are quite skilled with a sword then, have you practiced fencing before?”
“Of course, it is taught as the basics of sword fighting. Though, I would not say I am a master.” Humbly, your husband lowers his head to inspect his blade, shaking his head at Jackson’s outcry.
“Nonsense! Any man who has done battle for his life is surely a master. Though, I do ask that you do not hold back on me here; I certainly will not do the same for you.” A wolfish grin creeps up onto both Kings faces, mirroring each other as they pull down the hoods of their face guards.
“You’ve said nothing of your own skill thus far, I will not make the mistake of underestimating you.” The match starts swiftly after they take position, Jackson lunging forward and barely missing Jimin’s side as he dodges out of the way.
Your mouth falls open as they move, each motion calculated and precise. You know nothing about fencing, but it is clear that they are both highly skilled. You’ve never seen your lover move this way before, so dynamic and captivating as though he were performing a dance. Powerful and graceful in every step taken toward his opponent, wielding his blade as though it were an extension of himself. He is beautiful to watch, your heartbeat speeding up in your chest as you are enraptured by the display. Both King’s are even in size and capability, but you can see the ease of movement Jimin possesses compared to Jackson’s deliberate strokes, almost as if he were teasing him. Lena cheers from beside you, but you can’t make a sound. Seeing him like this— completely in his element and moving so gracefully— has your body heating for another reason unrelated to the unrelenting sun. You’ve married an amazing man.
“You’re quick.”
“That is a great compliment, coming from you,” Jackson grunts, keeping Jimin on the defensive with his bold attacks. “But I can tell you are merely playing with me.”
“Not playing.” Waiting. One thing Jimin is an expert at is waiting. Patience is his strength, in fighting and in his daily life. He was patient when it came to you, taking his time with each step of your relationship until he was entirely sure that you were ready, that you wanted him. He was patient with each of his military promotions, climbing up the ranks with hard work and diligence until he was recognized. And he will continue to be patient with the next stage of his life, trying his best not to lose hope that you will become pregnant one day, so he will deal with the disappointment and trials with you for as long as it takes.
As soon as Jackson falters he takes his shot, attacking with swift consecutive swings until his opponent is pushed far back on his side of the space and leaves an opening, one decisive lunge ending the match. They both pant as Jimin’s sword makes contact with the center of the other King’s chest, the cap pressed into the padding protecting his flesh. There’s silence for a beat before they both drop their guard, retuning to the start position. Jimin turns his head to make sure you were watching, lifting his mask to wink at you and smirking salaciously when you blush.  
“Well done.” Jackson nods. “But I won’t let you get the better of me next time!”
“Your husband is a bit intense, no?” You ask Lena as she giggles, humming in agreement.
“And it seems your husband is a bit competitive.” You also nod, the heat drying your mouth as you watch her sip her drink again. She calls over her servant when she catches your stare and they hand you a glass— Kyungsoo swooping in annoyingly to try it first before you can taste the sweet liquid. “He seems very fit and possesses a beautiful physique, I’m astounded that you have the willpower to leave bed with a man like that, especially as newlyweds.”
You choke on your drink mid-swallow, nearly spitting it out because of her words. Jackson has a notoriously dirty mind, it is no surprise to you that his wife shares that quality— she’d have to, in order to tolerate him. She laughs as Lilian takes the drink from you as you wipe your mouth, turning the comment back on her.
“I could say the same to you, Jackson is just as built.”
“Oh, trust that he kept me in bed for months after our wedding date. It is no coincidence that I have this many children now.” Her eyes shift back to the men on the field, seemingly satisfied with the rosiness of your cheeks. Recovering, you address her once more.
“Speaking of, may I meet them?”
“I’ve known (Y/n) for most of my life,” Jackson speaks up during their final round. “Though I submitted a proposal, she’s grown to be like a sister to me over the years.”
“Is that so?” Jimin grunts, their swords clashing loudly.
“I was skeptical of what kind of man she had chosen when word spread of your betrothal. Wondered if you would be able to protect her as she tends to venture out and do things on her own; sometimes-” He jumps back as Jimin closes in. “-befriending the wrong people. I worried when I heard of the catastrophe at your wedding ceremony.” The cap of Jimin’s sword touches to his opponent’s chest once again, ending the sparring match. They both remove their helmets and masks, breathing heavily as they look at each other. “I truly empathize with what you were forced to experience. I could not imagine being in that situation with my wife.” Both men turn to look at you and Lena, their 4 children surrounding you as you hold the youngest in your lap. It is a sight that simultaneously melts and breaks your husband’s heart. “Nonetheless, after meeting you, I am confident that she is in good hands. I like you a lot, Jimin, and though my approval may mean nothing, I think you are an excellent match for her.”
You look up to see them shaking hands, both of them walking over to you with content looks on their faces. The child in your lap looks up as his father approaches, making grabby hands at your friend until he reaches down and lifts him from you. You watch with starry eyes as Jackson props the child up on his hip, kissing over his chubby cheeks and forehead, but then your attention is pulled away when Jimin stops to stand in front of you.
“Did you win?” You ask, already knowing the answer.
“Yes, My Queen,” He bows dutifully, running a hand through his sweaty hair. It should be offensive how sexy he looks right now, standing in the sun with his wet hair, skin shining with hard work and eyes landing lazily on your figure with a lazy smirk. Your heart jumps and you have to look away before your mind slips even further away. “Do I get a victory kiss?” He bends down toward you, puckering his lips, and you push lightly at his chest with a laugh.
“But you’re all sweaty!” Your nose wrinkles at him but your eyes still lock onto his lips, even as you continue to swat at him.
“No kiss for your King?” Jackson quips, turning to his own wife who is already shaking her head in disgust. “Lena~ Don’t I get a reassurance kiss after my defeat?” The same look Jimin has on his face is contagious to the other King, who grins at Lena as she shields her face with another one of their giggling children, peeking out from over her shoulder. Both men approach with puckered lips, causing their Queens to squeal at their playfulness— you even hop up from the bench to avoid him, taunting him as Jimin chases you around the field. It’s rather immature, but you feel no need to pretend here or uphold appearances in front of your hosts. Lilian and Kyungsoo look on fondly, never having seen you so carefree.
“You never minded my sweat before, my love.” Jimin whispers to you when you finally allow him to give you a peck on the lips, his arms wrapped loosely around your waist. You don’t respond, rolling your eyes at him with a barely hidden smile.
Tumblr media
“You seem to be getting along nicely with Jackson.” You comment as you rummage through your luggage, searching for one specific item. Jimin replies from behind the partition of the bathroom, bathing away the grime of the day in preparation for the night. You had both sent Lilian away when she offered to help and she took off to explore the nighttime activities of the kingdom, one of Jackson’s male servants offering to be her guide. You’ll be sure to ask her for details in the morning.
“Yes, he is quite an interesting character. He gave me his official approval to marry you, which I suppose I am grateful for.” Hearing the smile in his voice, you giggle, silencing the gasp that leaves your chest when you pull out the delicate lace garments, your heart rate speeding up. You aren’t sure why you feel so anxious about this. It’s not like you to get nervous about being intimate with Jimin, but you’ve never done anything like this before. Maybe it’s because it’s been a while since you last had him, the recent abstinence keeping your body on edge. Or maybe you are worried about what he will say when he sees you. Embarrassment colors your face as you quickly slip on the set, covering yourself with a robe when you are finished.
“He gave you his blessing to marry me?” You chuckle.
Stepping onto the tile of the partitioned washroom, you stand before the full length mirror to inspect yourself before tying it closed. The robe covers you from Jimin’s viewpoint behind you as he finishes washing up, and you try to appear productive as you move to moisturize yourself. When he is finished, your husband approaches from behind, a towel hung low on his waist as he comes to wrap his arms around your midsection. You can feel his sturdy body pressing into you as he pulls you closer, his eyes staring into yours through the glass when he rests his chin on your shoulder.
“His ego hasn’t shrunk an inch since I last saw him.” You sigh, letting your eyes flutter shut as the two of you sway gently together.
“Well, he is a King.” Jimin reasons in a whisper.
“But so are you.” His arms loosen around you when he feels you start to turn, both of your eyes open now as you peer up at him with glittering eyes, gingerly locking your fingers behind his neck. Your heart kicks up as you watch the easy grin on his lips, the absolute and unwavering adoration he holds for you so evident in his gaze. It reminds you of earlier times, his expression the exact same as when he first confessed that he was in love with you and you reciprocated, kissing him so certainly. Now, you kiss him with practiced ease and press ever closer into his warm body. Jimin’s tongue dances with yours, both of you getting lost in the moment until you are forced to pull away for air. “You were amazing today, General Park.”
The use of his former title makes his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. It isn’t like he doesn’t like the name, it is simply that he never expected to hear it come from you again.
“I did not realize that you were so agile and powerful, I was very impressed with what I saw.” One of your fingers trails down his chest, playing in the dip of his v-line before coyly tracing back upwards with each slow word you speak. “That is not to say that I was unaware of your capabilities, you have found great success in protecting me and my kingdom, but watching you was eye opening... and quite arousing.” His breath hitches in a way that gives you more confidence, courage swelling in your chest that helps you ignore the redness of your cheeks.
“Is that so?” Jimin swallows, curiosity lighting his gaze.
You hum in affirmation. “You must work extremely hard to become that skilled, so I thought it appropriate to give you a gift to show my appreciation for all that you do.” Taking a step back, you play with the ribbon of your robe, amused by the sudden change in Jimin’s expression. He watches you like a predator stalking it’s pray, detailing every movement of your nimble fingers with a heaving chest as you move at a snail’s pace to untie your robe. You decide to tease further once the ribbon is finally untied, only revealing the tops of your shoulders from the silk, holding yourself in modesty until it looks like he’s going to go insane before you open the from to reveal yourself.
Jimin feels like he could faint from what he sees when the robe drops. You are decorated in a lacy white lingerie set that is quite transparent, your nipples visible through the designs of the fabric. The bra of the set extends downwards under your cleavage and he feels his hands lifting to rest on your ribs to touch the material, following it delicately until he cups your breasts with his palms. Maybe it is due to the design of this expensive undergarment, but you fill out the bra much more than either of you would have expected, your breasts round and pushing at it in all the right spots. This is the lingerie set that Jin had hidden behind your commissioned painting as part of your wedding gift, and Jimin had completely forgotten that it was in your possession. He chooses not to question how Seokjin knows your body measurements in order to purchase the present. Eyes trailing down, Jimin takes in the equally scandalous panties that adorn your hips, all parts solid white except for the crotch that remains lacy and see-through giving him a view that makes his mouth water.
You look absolutely stunning, and he tells you in as many words as possible.
“Your gift is not yet complete, General.” The look on his face is everything that you had hoped for, and you wish to shock him even further with your next move. Hooking your fingers into the towel at his waist, you unravel it and expose his growing length, sinking down in front of him.
Quickly, he grabs your arm once he realizes what you are doing, preventing you from going lower. You pout up at him. “My Queen, a woman of your status should never kneel on the ground for any man. You must remain dignified.”
“My dignity,” You half scoff at the notion, rising to look him in his beautiful brown eyes. “I have neither dignity nor pride. You have it all, my love; I have given myself to you completely.” You allow yourself to break from your role play just this once, he needs to know that your words are true. If there is anything he should know by now, it is that you hold no reservations toward him. With him, you are equal and you trust him completely. It is not like you have never serviced him before, but he has never seen you on your knees below him due to his own beliefs and you would like to change that tonight. “I want to do this for you.”
This time when you lower yourself, he allows you to drop until your knees rest on the ground. The view he has is undeniably sinful. You can tell how much he enjoys it by how rapidly he hardens in front of your face. But when you look up from your own spot on the floor, you find that your view is equally as jaw dropping. Jimin looks down at you from over his nose, the damp hair on his head sticking to his forehead and dangling over his eyes, shadowing his features into sharp lines. Every inch of his body is chiseled to perfection, displaying the hours of training he has undergone over the years to get to the level of skill you witnessed today, and if it were not for you already kneeling on the marble, your knees would have buckled right from under you. He is like a statue carved by the gods. And he is all yours.
“If a Queen wants her soldiers to keep performing for her she must reward them, and you are the very best, so I will be sure to give you special treatment.” Lightly grasping his member, you take the time to feel how he grows in your grip. Just the feeling of you running your fingers over his plush balls has him almost fully erect, the muscles of his abdominals tensing as you lean forward to slide him into your mouth, caressing the underside of his cock with your tongue without closing your lips just yet. You’ll work him up slowly, you decide, wanting him to savor this rare occasion in hopes that he will allow you to do it again sometime. Your palm smears your saliva around his shaft and starts to steadily pump him up and down, the simple action causing a groan to tear from your lover’s throat.
Jimin does not know where to look in this moment. Should he focus on your hands as the diligently work to pleasure him? Your tongue when it peeks out from your lips to tease at his slit? The dip of your cleavage that lie in his direct line of sight, framed so perfectly by the underwear you don? Or perhaps those smoldering eyes you stare up at him with, those plotting, gorgeous eyes that call to his deepest desires? You look as if you would do anything for him at this moment— you have intentionally put yourself at his feet to show how vulnerable you are willing to be with him, that you trust him to the utmost degree and you would sink this low, literally, to demonstrate that.
“Shit,” Jimin curses, eyes trained on the way your lips wrap around his reddening tip. You sense his hands fidgeting at his sides, so you take them to place on top of your head, nodding encouragingly until he weaves his fingers into your hair. He throbs in your mouth and you fight back a smirk.
Working meticulously, you take the time to circle your tongue around every sensitive place at his cockhead, licking slowly over his frenulum and flicking over his slit as it starts to leak. The flavor is slightly salty and entirely him, and it makes your legs press together from where your knees dig into the polished marble. Your lips and tongue play at his upper half for a while, one of your hands rubbing whimsical patterns along his tensing thigh while the other tends to his aching base, pumping in time with your mouth with a slight twist to your wrist that has his fingers tightening against your scalp.
“Are you enjoying your gift?” You break away to speak, twirling your tongue around the line of saliva that connects you to his tip in the most lewd way possible.
“Yes,” Jimin pants, clearing his throat when his voice comes out raspy. But the sound makes you drip into your designer panties, the flimsy material doing little against your increasing wetness. “How did you become so skilled at this, My Queen? You are such an angel but possess devilish talent with that pretty mouth of yours.”
“I had an excellent teacher.” You wink up at him, hoping he was imaging all the times he guided you when you wished to taste him, becoming more confident as time passed and you no longer feared your gag reflex. You figure now is a good time to demonstrate just how well you absorbed those lessons, you finally sink further down on him until he touches the back of your mouth, collecting your spit to slick him before pushing him deeper and into your throat. Your stomach quivers as you hold back the urge to gag, but he sees none of that because when you look up his head is tossed back in ecstasy and concentration. He must focus so he doesn’t cum so soon.
“Just like that.” Biting into the plush of his bottom lip, Jimin falls into the trance of your movements, bobbing up and down on him with his tip lodged in your throat. The first moan he lets out has a shiver crawling up your spine, deep and loud so it echoes against every surface of the room. Drool slides out of your mouth as you continue to suck him but you pay no mind to it, only focused on the way your lover’s body reacts to you. His chest heaves for breath and you can see perspiration beginning to coat his chest and neck, Adam’s apple bobbing every time he swallows. The hand that was previously occupied with the rest of his length moves to his balls, kneading and massaging the sack gently as more moans pour from his mouth. Your clit throbs the longer you suck on him, his cock now at full length and hardness and feeling so thick and heavy on your jaw that you can’t help but fantasize about feeling it inside you again.
His hips eventually begin to twitch and rock into each of your movements, but you can tell he is restraining himself from bucking into you fully. When his eyes connect with yours again, you nod as best you can, pulling off slightly to take a few deep breaths and kiss along his silky skin. Once you have your breathing back to normal, you poise yourself with your mouth open wide and tongue poking out, the sight of you inviting him into your warmth while dressed so scantly and looking up at him with such confidence making it incredibly difficult for him to keep his composure. Here you are, his Queen, the ruler of an entire kingdom by birth right who possesses such elegance and high esteem, sitting below him and offering your throat for his pleasure. This is something that no one else in the entire world will ever see and he feels something similar to pride swelling in his chest at that fact. He knows what you are silently asking him to do, so he does not keep you waiting a second longer before inserting himself back into your mouth and easing his way in until your nose is nestled in the trimmed hair above his pubic bone.
Curses leave him in a continuous string as he takes time to adjust to the sensation, a lightness filling your head that makes you feel like you are floating through the clouds. And that feeling only increases when he starts to move, pulling his hips back for you to take in air through your nose before thrusting in again. Jimin fucks your mouth slowly at first, warming you up to it before he starts to get a bit rougher and visibly more eager, his lips sucked into his mouth as he glares down at you. In any other context, you would think him angry if he ever peered at anyone this intensely, but now you only feel the pool of arousal that builds in your core and gushes out of you at the intimidating glower. Still, his muscles are rigid with hesitance.
“May I go faster?” He breathes, never pulling out to free your mouth to respond. You moan out an answer as best you can, running your tongue against him in approval until he finally releases his tension and follows the urges of his body. He doesn’t aim deep into you, but his pace is quick, surely bruising your esophagus, yet you cannot bring yourself to be bothered. The sensation is indescribable, his hands cupping the back of your head and the sheer heat of his body almost overrides the lack of oxygen in your lungs— and simply imagining the pleasure he is feeling because of you has electricity shooting down to your core. Jimin has his eyes glued to the sight of his cock disappearing into your mouth, but they quickly shift when your hands find their way to your chest to pull down the bra just enough so your nipples poke out, both hands pushing your breasts together to give him a sight that almost causes him to lose his load right then and there. His hips lose control, stuttering and twitching as his eyes widen comically at the dream-like image of you, and he is forced to pull away after little over a minute of fucking your face. “Fuck-!”
“Is something the matter?” You ask innocently, knees screaming out from your sustained position. The veins in your husband’s hand bulge as he grips himself so tightly his knuckles turn white, his length jumping every time he opens his eyes to look at you. His use of hard profanity is enough to tell you how much you have unraveled him and you revel in the accomplishment.
“Get up here.” He pants, taking your arm in his free hand and helping you to your feet. You hear him click his tongue at the redness of your knees, but don’t have much time to dismiss it before his lips are on yours. Jimin kisses you deeply as if your face is not sloppy with saliva and his precum. He kisses you like it could save lives. And above every filthy thing you have done with him, this kiss is what makes you feel a bashful heat color your cheeks when he pulls you closer.
“Am I to assume I performed well?” You mumble against his lips, eyes crossing slightly to see his smile.
“You were outstanding. So much so that I nearly came down your pretty throat.” Smugly, Jimin unclips your bra, parting from your lips after several minutes of kissing to trace his tongue down your neck until he reaches your chest, forgoing all teasing to wrap his lips around a pert nipple.
“Oh-“ A surprised yelp leaves you and he has to use his strength to keep you from falling over, your legs suddenly feeling like jelly. Your fingers card through his drying hair, tugging at the unbothered man as he has his fun marking and sucking at you. As always, his mouth works miracles, but you have never felt anything like this before. Each swipe of his tongue around your nub has you moaning out his name, when he twists at the other nipple your head falls back in absolute bliss. He’s not doing anything extraordinarily notable, but it is like your body has reached a sensitivity that is completely new to you both. Jimin certainly is enjoying it immensely. His eyes are closed but you can see how they crinkle gleefully at the sides, his cheekbones high almost as if trying to conceal his amusement at your reactions. With puckered lips, he suctions one of your nipples before pulling back to speak.
“I can’t wait,” He grazes his teeth over your other tit before continuing. “-until these fill up with milk for our baby. I’m sure you will look incredible carrying our child inside you— even more amazing than you already look, my love. So round and plump... your cute little womb filled to the brim with my cum and baby.” Your eyes roll when one of his hands slips down your panties to tease at your lips. A growl resonates in his chest at the feel of your wetness. “You like the sound of that, don’t you? What would the people say if they found out that their elegant Queen got soaking wet just from sucking cock and thinking of getting her pussy stuffed full of cum? Hmm? Surely they will know how filthy you are once they see you swollen with my child, walking around the kingdom so shamelessly after getting marked by my seed. They’ll know just how good you’ve been for me, darling.”
“I want them to know I’m yours; I want to be pregnant with your baby so badly!” You sob, hips bucking into his hand as soon as he makes contact with your clit.
He soothes you with soft kisses along your face, ending with a lick to the corner of your mouth as you pant out loud moans for him. “I know, love. The time will come soon enough.”
Once again his lips return to your chest, and the combination of his mouth and fingers has your walls fluttering and clenching around nothing. Even after he removes his hand from your panties to hold you closer to him, you feel the building of an orgasm. Your body is completely taken by his tongue and teeth as they suckle cherry blossoms into your skin. And when his wet fingers travel up to twist at your unattended nipple, you feel your body careening off the edge unexpectedly.
“J-Jimin, I-“ Your sentence is cut short by a long whimper, mind going blank at the pleasure. You are able to feel how your walls snap open and closed, each pulse growing more intense as the high drags on for what seems like an eternity to you. Jimin groans at the sounds you make and he looks on in awe from where he still laves at your breast as you bite down on your lower lip to ground yourself. He doesn’t mind the way you tug at his roots in your bliss. The pain only adds to the throbbing of his cock.
“So sexy,” He murmurs as you regain your senses. You seem embarrassed, unable to meet his eyes, and he questions it.
“I have never-“ Averting your eyes to the ground, you look for words in your scrambled mind.
“You’ve never cum like that before?” For some reason you find it slightly humiliating and you have no idea why. Were you really that sensitive from not having sex with him for a few weeks? Your nipples were never that receptive before. Nodding in agreement, you hide your face until Jimin lifts your chin with his finger. “Do not shy away from me, My Queen. You look gorgeous when you cum.” Before you can process it, his hands are yanking down your ruined panties, drenched all the way through and dripping. Your back connects with the wall next to the mirror as you are pinned against the surface with his weight. His fingers slide over your clit and you jolt, attempting to close your legs, but he is faster and jams his thigh between yours to hold you open. “In fact, you look so good that I want to see you do it again.”
Without warning, he plunges 2 fingers knuckle deep into you, searching with little trouble for that spongey area inside you. You are wet enough to lubricate his fingers until he drips down his hand, the slick part of his palm beginning to rub harshly against your clit when his fingers curl upwards.
“Oh fuck,” You gasp brokenly when he reaches your spot. Feeling you clench, Jimin hums and goes to work massaging the area with the pads of his fingers, pressing his other hand to your lower stomach to increase the pressure. Since the first time you squirted he has been almost obsessed with the sight, working diligently to figure out how to make you do it again. There have been many nights dedicated solely to that cause— nights that you endured with bright red cheeks each time he made fun of your fucked out expression and hoarse voice— it is to the point where he now knows your every weakness and can manipulate your body with mastery. He knows exactly how much pressure you like when his fingers are deep inside you. He knows just the right way to massage that sensitive area to get you to fall apart again even if you feel overstimulated. He knows how to move his entire arm to hit that spot each time without fail, his technique flawless as he moves rapidly inside your clenching heat. Almost like a balloon filling with water, you feel another high building up in your core frighteningly fast and the lewd squelch coming from between your legs soon becomes the loudest noise in the room.
“Let go for me,” Jimin encourages into your skin, burying his face in the crook of your neck and panting hot breaths. It is easy to tell how easily he gets himself worked up when pleasuring you. His hard, wet cock twitches incessantly against your thigh, teasingly close to where you want him, and the feeling alone has you galloping closer to your second release. “You look so beautiful like this, pushed against a wall and taking my fingers. I bet you are just starving for my cock, aren’t you, My Queen? I’ll give it to you right after you cum for me. I want you to show me how badly you want it by soaking my arm with your sweet juices.”
The filthy words he feeds you only add to the hunger you feel for him. One of your legs lifts to wrap around his waist, pulling him closer as the balloon in your core continues to grow. Your heart is in your ears, beating rapidly, and you have no other choice but to listen to him and release your pleasure. With one synchronized prod of his fingers and circle around your clit, you descend into depraved ecstasy and let the balloon pop. You black out slightly, ears ringing and body numb to the world except for everywhere that your husband touches you, but you are aware of the satisfied moan he gives at your obedience. Whispers of delicate praises tickle your chest as he rests his forehead on your collarbone to watch you soil the floors and his lower half with your clear cum. The sound of it splashing and splattering against each nearby surface is quite embarrassing but you can’t bring yourself to think of it when your legs are shaking this hard and your body is tingling with joy.
“Good girl,” You hear Jimin groan, pulling his fingers from you to wrap his arms around your waist so you don’t topple over on your wobbly leg. He figures it may just be easier to keep you up if both of your legs are off the wet floor, so he moves your other leg to wind around his waist before carrying you out of the room and away from the mess to the bed.
Your glazed eyes take him in as he stands above you, a hand running through his disheveled hair as he studies you as well. His face is flushed and sweaty and his chest rises and falls quickly, but you’re sure that is only partly due to the effort he has just put in. There are claw marks on his shoulders and you gasp. You hadn’t realized you were gripping him so tightly, but he doesn’t seem to mind the marks at all, focused entirely on the throbbing member between his legs. Your eyes drop down his toned body to where his hand leisurely strokes up and down his shaft, purposely avoiding the tip to keep himself on the edge. It is almost purple with built up pressure, likely painful by this point, and you will yourself to move your weak limbs to reach out for him, pulling him closer to invite him between your open legs.
He takes his place at your center, one hand pressing into the soft mattress beside your head as he leans over you. You want him to kiss you so badly, but you want him inside you even more. He acquiescences this by sliding into you smoothly before swooping down for your lips.
“Mm~ Jimin!” The thick girth of his shaft stretches you perfectly, ignorant of your ticklish sensitivity as it searches for the deepest spot within you. In no time at all Jimin’s hips are flush with your ass, lips and tongue swallowing your moans into his own mouth.
“(Y/n)-“ He moans in response. Eyes squeezed tight, he forces himself to remain still. “I lose my breath every time I take this dripping pussy of yours. I’ll never get used to it.” Flattered, you hide your face with his by pulling him in for another kiss. The two of you stay like this for a long while, adjusting to each other’s bodies and basking in the intimacy of the moment.
“My love, please move.” You whine when the stillness becomes unbearable, yet you grieve at the loss of his heat when he leans away to pull you closer to the edge of the bed.
The first thrust of his hips already has you squirming. Your slick makes it so easy for him to pump into you that he barely has to put in any effort at all, his hips snapping sharply into you from the beginning. You let your legs fall farther apart at his sides and bite your lip when Jimin’s eyes land between your thighs, staring intently at the place where your bodies connect. You’re sure he can see everything, from the way your lips spread open around his wide member, to the shiny streaks of your arousal that quickly slick the inside of your thighs. It’s like you can feel his gaze caressing you, your body feeling sensitive everywhere he studies. You moan unabashedly at the sensation.
“Do you like it, My Queen? Does this feel good?” He prompts, eager for your praise.
“Y-yes, I-“ It has been so long without his cock inside you that you can’t think clearly. All you can do is shout his name and cling to the bedsheets as he wraps his arms around your thighs and holds them flush against his front. The angle makes you stutter, his tip touching somewhere sensitive that has your thighs squeezing closed. “P-please, harder. Use me.”
“Keep these fucking legs open.” Jimin growls, thrusting more harshly now. You attempt to follow his command and unclench your thighs, but they shake violently as soon as they part and it takes immense focus for you to hold them there. Looking up at your lover, you see the dark look that overtakes his features, dominance radiating off of him as he gets lost in you. You haven’t seen this look on him in a long while, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t sexy. He looks like he wants to eat you alive, devour you whole and leave not a morsel of you left until he’s had his fill.
Watching Jimin gain so much pleasure from you takes you to another level of bliss. His fingers dig into your thighs as he pounds his cock within your depths, determined to pull more desperate sounds from your throat, and his teeth bite down on his plush bottom lip in concentration. Sweat now trickles down his brow from the humid heat of the room, undoing the bath he took prior and replacing the soap with the scent of sex that leaks from his pores. This man is undeniably the hottest person you have ever laid eyes on and you can’t help but clench around him at the visuals he’s giving you.
Feeling you clench, Jimin moans, dragging his eyes up your figure until they land on your breasts. They jolt with every harsh thrust he gives you and dance flirtatiously in front of him— he can’t look away. Suddenly, he leans down and snatches up your hands, pinning them above your head with his fingers intertwined with yours, nearly drooling at how delectable you look under him. Your breasts certainly look different, the shape has become rounder and they jiggle slightly more than he can remember, but Jimin doesn’t think much of this as he focuses on delivering hard strokes. You shiver when his tongue licks a stripe up your damp neck, sucking a spot just below your ear before nibbling the lobe. He knows this is a weak spot for you, and just as he expected, your walls tighten around him once more. You push against him, trying to free your hands, but he has them locked sturdily in his grasp, silently forcing you to submit to him. You probably want to wind your fingers in his hair or grip onto his biceps, but he won’t give up an ounce of power at the moment. Not while he is ravaging you like this. So you settle for squeezing his hands and soaking in their warmth, gasping breathlessly as he takes you. You are entirely at his mercy and you absolutely love it.
One of his hands moves down to grip your thigh and push it open, unlocking you from where you have been clenched around his hips. Both of your wrists now held in one hand and still pinned against the sheets. The bed frame creaks noisily as he changes pace, abandoning his hard and fast thrusts for a slow and deep grind that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Something feels different about you, about the way you feel around him as the head of his cock licks at your cervix. It’s softer than usual and open for him, almost begging for his sperm, and he thinks this is the perfect time to get you pregnant. He aims to stay deep inside you. Each powerful movement is purposeful, everything down to the slight arch of his back that allows his pubic bone to grind into your clit, and you feel like you’re going crazy.
“Oh fuck, Jimin! I’m close again!” Your voice is strained in your throat and he smirks at the sound. He can feel it, the swell of your walls around him as you near your third high, and he swears it’s tighter than usual. Your muscles begin to tense up and push against him, preparing for your inevitable release. And just because you feel like pushing his buttons today, you allow your thighs to attempt to squeeze closed again.
“What did I say?!” The depth of his voice shocks you briefly and your eyes snap open to look at him. His jaw is tight as his stare bores into you with deadly intensity. “Keep your fucking legs open. Or do I have to hold them for you?” You let out a whimper, not daring to move your hands from their raised position when he drops your wrists to push open your other thigh, leaving you dripping and exposed in front of him. Your skin dimples where his fingertips dig into you— though he is careful not to bruise you— and he seems to hit even deeper like this. “You used to be so well behaved, My Queen. Are you acting out just to get a rise out of me?”
You dodge the question. “Please, Jimin, please make me cum again.” You can hardly hear anything aside from the slap of his balls against your ass and the squelch of his cock pushing through your warm walls.
“You think you deserve to cum? What will you do for it?” A dark chuckle leaves his throat when he sees you genuinely thinking of a response, biting so hard on your lip that he fears it might bleed.
“Anything.” You breathe. You’re unsure of how long you can hold back your orgasm, he feels so good fucking you like this, pushing his whole length into you without mercy.
“Anything, darling?” A lecherous grin plasters itself onto his mouth at your expression. “Hm, are you just saying that because you’re desperate? I can tell it feels good, you’re leaking all over me. Do you like it when I go deep like this?” You nod with a whine, eyelids pressed closed to hold back from cumming. “Open your eyes. Look at how deep I am inside you.” Peeling your eyes open, you peer down at yourself upon his command and see where his own eyes are glued. A small bulge presses against your lower abdomen every time he pushes in, disappearing when he pulls out only to reappear with the next thrust. Neither of you can take your eyes off of the sight, absolutely mesmerized by it.
“Please, I’m so close!” You groan loudly.
“You say you’ll do anything, my love?”
“Yes!”
“Will you be a good girl and let me put my baby in you? Let me cum right here against this fertile womb and get you pregnant with my baby?” The effect of his dirty talk is immediate and you clamp down on him, barely holding back as his hand rests over the bulge in your tummy, adding the tiniest amount of pressure to it.
“I will! Please!” Tears wet your doe eyes as you look up at him, digging your nails into the soft sheets above your head to keep from moving your arms from their position. He notes this with a hum, speeding up his hips in reward for your obedience.
“I know you will. Now cum.” On command, your body lets go of all the pent up pressure in your core, gripping onto his length with unbearable strength. Your walls pulsate with so much force that you nearly push him out, and when he finally pulls out of you, you squirt once again over the ledge of the bed. His hands on your legs do nothing to quell the wild tremors that overtake you and the streams of tears that flow over the apples of your cheeks. You are truly a sight to see, flushed red and glowing with the aftermath of yet another ferocious orgasm. Your sensitivity once again shocks him into silence. He didn’t even need to touch your clit for you to climax.
His stiff member bobs like a flagpole in the wind as he takes you in. It’s so hard that it stands straight up against his abdomen, jumping with its own pulse. When you open your eyes it is the first thing you see, and your body heats up again.
“Can you take any more, my love?” Jimin questions with concern, tracing his hands up your waist soothingly.
“Always. I can always take more of you.” Despite the screaming in your limbs, you sit up abruptly and pull him down to the bed, rolling the two of you over as you lock lips. Jimin seems surprised but not opposed to the shift in power dynamics, sensing that you want to take the reins for now. Your fingers wrap around his base and line him up with your slit, showing not even a moment’s hesitation before dropping down and knocking the wind out of both of you.
“You do not have to-“
“No, Jimin, I want to. I am supposed to be treating you after all, let me make you feel good.”
Fuck, you’re hot. Not only do you look amazing on top of him, but your pussy feels much hotter than usual. And it’s so tight, as if it’s greedy for every inch of him and eager to suck out his release. He won’t last long like this, that is for certain. His hands support you as you shift into a squat above him— and maybe it’s the novelty of the position, but he swears it’s never felt this good before.
“I imagined this so many times, but I never thought I’d actually get to see you riding me like this.” He confesses in a strained breath. You press your palms into his chest to lift yourself up, lowering yourself experimentally before repeating the action with less restraint.
“Am I living up to your expectations?” It could just be the angle, but his cock feels unbelievably deep inside you, and you half expect it to hurt yet you feel no pain. There is not even the slightest bit of discomfort as he nudges at your womb and you attribute this to the three incredible orgasms you have already reached tonight.
“God, yes.” He can’t look away from where you impale yourself on him, your shaky legs spread wide to let him see every second of the erotic display. From the way you grip him every time you lift up, to the strings of your arousal and cum that weave a sticky web between your ass and his pelvis, and even to the way your clit swallows in delight, he almost goes lightheaded as he takes it all in. His throat bobs as he gulps, back arching off the sheets under your warm hands.
“Faster?”
You don’t wait for a response before you start speeding up. He’s close, you can feel it in the way he swells against your walls and see it in the way his neck and chest color that pretty pink color you adore so much. Your limbs are aching for relief and it takes all of your remaining energy to keep up your efforts, but you wouldn’t dream of stopping. No, you are determined to bring Jimin to his end no matter what. The high pitched moans he lets out for your ears only are more than enough motivation to keep going, but you are working for a prize much more valuable that the lovely sounds he makes for you. You want his cum. You want it so badly that it is the only thing you can think of, so despite the pain in your fragile legs as you bounce yourself as hard and fast as you can, you continue for him. You’ve never been afraid to put in a little effort, and this is something you are willing to work for.
“(Y/n), I’m gonna cum!” Jimin’s dialect shines through strongly as he grits his teeth through the pleasure you bombard him with. You know it must feel different for him, the pleasure is always so much more intense when you aren’t the one doing all the work, and this is the first time you’ve pinned him down like this. It’s the first time you’ve dropped yourself down to clamp your knees on either side of him and wrap yourself around his upper body as you pant into his neck, leaving sloppy kisses and coaxing him toward his high with whispered words. Now that the roles are reversed, you can see just how wrecked he is for you— the usually composed king now lies spread in a heap of matted hair, sweaty skin, and bitten lips, completely speechless and grasping onto your thighs in a desperate bid to hold onto his sanity. “Please, I- I-“
“Cum for me, My King,” You are sure your body has just about reached its limit, but you feel no pain or fatigue when you look into your lover’s eyes and find an unraveled man. “I promised I would take your cum and let you get me pregnant. Give it all to me, my love, I want it. Cum inside me, Jimin.”
Bucking his hips, Jimin loses all control and throws his head back in anticipation as he aids your movements with his strong arms. When he feels your lips on his chin, he leans forward and allows you to swallow his groans of pleasure, both of you starved for breath but unwilling to pull away from the kiss. Everything you have done for him tonight— wearing sexy lingerie, getting on your knees to please him, squirting not once but twice— culminates into this one moment and he doesn’t think he can take take it. It’s all too much. With three sharp thrusts from both of you, he climaxes with a shout, lifting you up along with him as his hips rise off the bed.
“Oh fuck!” Maybe you shouldn’t feel this way, but you giggle giddily at the state of rapture he’s in because of you. The veins in his neck pop out of his skin as he dumps spurt after spurt of his semen into you, and you think this is the biggest load he’s ever given you. It takes a long time for him to come down from his high and for a moment you wonder if he will be okay with the way he twitches and shivers as your hips roll to a stop.
He doesn’t seem to mind your weight resting on top of him, nor does he react to the light kisses you press to his drenched skin. He does, however, wrap his arms securely around you when you shift to roll off of him, holding you on top of his body until you both have caught your breath and can open your heavy eyelids enough to look at each other with tired smiles.
“I love you.” You grin, running your digits through his disheveled mop of hair.
“I love you more, My Queen.” He pulls you down for another kiss to silence whatever rebuttal you surely have prepared at the tip of your tongue because he knows what you will say. And the thought makes his heart swell.
It seems like hours pass before both of you can work up the strength to part from each other. You have to be carried to the bathroom because your limbs feel far too weak and Jimin is not yet willing to let you go from his embrace. He is mindful of the puddle that you left on the floor as he carries you to the bath, and both of you sink into the depths together to wash away all your sins. You stay like that until your toes are pruned and the water is slightly cooler than lukewarm, the time flying by as you talk freely about everything you can think of: your hopes for your future family, your day with Jackson and Lena, gossip about Lilian and her whereabouts— she has not yet returned to the lodge even at this late hour and you hope that she is safe, but more importantly, you hope that her night with that handsome male servant ends similarly to yours. She could afford to take tonight and tomorrow off to unwind a bit, you feel a tad guilty that her needs may be neglected in the kingdom as she tends to you nonstop in the castle. Sleep finds you both easily and you cannot drop the smile from your cheeks as you cuddle up with the man you love.
Tumblr media
This afternoon would have been perfect if not for the way you were feeling. Sparse clouds float through the sunny blue sky, the mountains surrounding you blossoming with vibrancy, but the beautiful scenery is dulled in your bleary eyesight. The lightheadedness you’d felt upon arrival two days ago has returned, along with a pounding headache that dampens your mood.
Jimin and Jackson walk ahead of their queens, talking casually as though they had been friends for years. The sight makes your heart grow warm and you use it to distract you from your discomfort as you walk along the outside pathways to a different section of the enormous castle. Lena notices the shift in your demeanor fairly quickly, commenting that you look less energized than yesterday.
“Did you not sleep well last night?” She implores, her brow creased with worry.
“I had a very restful sleep last night, but it feels like my body is dragging behind.” You try to keep yourself from rubbing at your face. Royals are not supposed to show weakness and vulnerability in public, and even though you are only surrounded by Kyungsoo and a few of Lena’s servants, you wish to uphold your appearances. “I do not feel sick, however, so I do not think it is caused by illness.”
“Would there be any other reason for you to feel fatigued? We did spend quite a considerable amount of time in the heat yesterday.”
“Well,” The guards and servants lag behind you far enough for them not to hear your conversation, but you still lower your voice in modesty. “Jimin and I were intimate late into the evening...” You figure your late night activities are also the reason for the tenderness you feel in your breasts, your tight undergarments causing slight pain as they bind your chest.
“Ah, I see!” She beams back at you, giggling. “You were not used to such strenuous exercise. I have experience with that— one time Jackson kept me in bed for so long that I nearly fainted from dehydration! Jimin seems like he would have a lot of stamina, be careful with that one.” The wiggle of her eyebrows lifts your spirits a bit. Speaking of such lewd subjects is seen as unladylike, especially for royalty, but you find yourself uncaring of that when you are with Lena. You have never had a woman of your same age and status to converse with before, no one could ever relate or felt comfortable enough to speak freely with you. This closeness you have with her is a novel feeling— and it is likely that Jimin feels the same with Jackson.
“I’ll be sure to be mindful of that.” You smile, staring at the back of his head. Your husband turns to look at you when he feels your eyes as he passively listens to the other King recall a story, sending a wink your way before returning his attention to the man beside him.
“Is there any other possible explanation for your symptoms?” Redirecting your gaze to Lena, you catch how her eyes flicker down to your stomach, a small smile on her lips. As soon as you realize her meaning, you stiffen, legs nearly bringing you to a halt.
“No,” Your eyes fall to the ground. “I... do not think it is pregnancy. Before I departed from home I was examined by my doctor and she-“ You sigh. “I am not pregnant.”
“Hmm. Well, I have been pregnant 4 times and have experienced many symptoms with each of my children. What you described to me sounds familiar. Do not dismiss the idea just yet, (Y/n).”
Before you can even open your mouth to form a reply, you are hit with a wave of dizziness that makes the world spin. Kyungsoo is by your side in an instant, stabilizing you as someone asks if you are alright. You are led to a nearby bench where all of the servants crowd around you, Jimin rushing over when he hears the commotion.
“(Y/n)?! What’s the matter?” The world spins a little less when your eyes are closed, so you do not look up at him, but you can imagine the almost sickly worry covering his lovely face. You know he has been especially traumatized by the events of your wedding and you never want to put him in a situation like that again, but you can’t help the way your body feels. Distantly, you hear Jackson order a servant to get the doctor, footsteps skittering away as he comes to squat down in front of you.
“Are you ill?” Jackson’s voice calms the anxiety you weren’t aware you were feeling. It is frightening not knowing what’s going on with your own body. Lena’s words ring in your mind.
“N-no, it is just the altitude. I just need to rest for a minute.” Your excuse is almost convincing, but no one moves— except for Jimin, who moves closer to you on the bench to support your back. After a few minutes, your head begins to clear, though your vision remains blurry. Eyes silently peer at you from all sides and you can feel them hot on your skin, embarrassment now the prominent emotion you feel. “Please do not worry about me, I am fine, really.”
“Are you certain? We can rest here for a little while longer.” Jimin suggests gently, but for some reason this irritates you.
“I said I’m fine.” You snap, earning an even more concerned look from him. Just then, the doctor approaches, slightly out of breath and sweating. “I don’t need a doctor! I’m feeling better already. Look.” You no longer feel dizzy anymore so you attempt to stand, rising quickly from the seat to come face to face with Jackson as he rises as well. Jimin still has his arm around you, both men watching you closely. “See?” But as soon as you’re stable on your feet, the spinning returns as if on cue and you come toppling forward into Jackson’s arms, everything going black.
Tumblr media
“You don’t need to do this, Jackson, I told you I feel okay now.” You grumble as he carries you to the infirmary inside the castle. He took you into his arms without hesitation when you fell, offering to carry you because Jimin was rapidly descending into distress. While you were only out for about 2 minutes before you regained consciousness, everyone had reacted as if you were dying.
Looking at your husband now, you can see how unnerved he has become. Because he is a General who has seen many battles, he has trained himself not to react emotionally in stressful situations— but you can read the look in his eyes as clear as day as he walks alongside you, watching you more closely than what is in front of him.
“That is what you said earlier, and then you fainted immediately afterwards. Do not worry, I don’t mind carrying you. I needed a little exercise today anyway.” Always a jokester, you crack a smile at his comment, rolling your eyes as the doctor leads him into a room to rest you on the bed. The doctor works quickly, taking a blood sample from you and leaving for the lab, having already taken your vitals when you initially passed out. “We’ll be waiting outside.” With that, Jackson takes Lena’s shaky hand and exits the room, leaving you in bed and Jimin hovering over you awkwardly.
“Please sit down, you are making me nervous.” You breathe. He blinks and nods absently, perching himself on the edge of the bed next to you. “Are you okay?”
“I should be asking you that.” He laughs dryly. Jimin bites his lip when you give him a sympathetic gaze and take his hand. Your words from the argument you had nearly a month ago echo in his head. This is a chance for him to open up to you about his emotions and seek your comfort, your expression shows that you are expecting it of him, so he takes a deep breath. There’s no use hiding his emotions from you. “Truth be told, I am a wreck. You fainting brought back some rather unpleasant memories.” He confesses.
“I’m sorry.” You really are apologetic, stressing him out is the last thing you ever wanted to do.
“It is not your fault. I just worry about you so much. I cannot bear to lose you, my love, and I feel so helpless when things like this happen, it feels like I always have to wait for others to come to rescue you.”
“Would you like to become a doctor so you are more prepared, then?” He wasn’t expecting that response and snaps his head up to look at you when you laugh. “You cannot control everything that happens to me, Jimin. It is okay to let others help. All I need is for you to stay by my side, your presence is more than enough.” He nods at this, accepting the kiss you plant on his cheek and squeezing your hands.
Long seconds of silence pass as you wait for the doctor to return. Then, a sudden thought pops into your mind that makes you groan aloud.
“Lilian is going to be pissed at me.” You can’t help but chuckle at the circumstances.
“Why is that?”
“I told her to take off today and enjoy her time here, but she was worried about me so she initially refused. I assured her of my health this morning before we left. I can only imagine to look on her face once she finds out what happened.” You do feel a bit bad, Lilian knows you better than anyone and it is clear that she could tell something was off, but you convinced her that her instincts were wrong and now you find yourself in the infirmary. She will surely put herself down over this incident because of her absence when you most needed her.
“You can worry about her after we confirm that you are okay. For now, let us focus on this.” Just then, the doctor enters the room again, coming to stand at the bottom of the bed as you and Jimin look up at them with expectant eyes. Your heart pounds in your chest. You’ve become so used to hearing bad news from doctors, you are almost conditioned to be nervous and guarded around them.
“(Y/n), I have determined the cause of your sudden collapse.” Jimin squeezes your hand tighter and you can feel the sweat on his fingertips. “It appears that you are pregnant! Congratulations! The blood tests showed high levels of-“
“Pardon?” You interject with a raspy voice. Your brain is having a hard time processing the words and you blink slowly for a few seconds, unaware of Jimin’s shell shocked expression. “I- H-how can this be? My physician tested me right before I left and she said I was not pregnant.”
“Well, it is entirely possible to get false negative results, especially when it is early in the pregnancy. I don’t think it reflects poorly on your physician, these things just happen sometimes and are completely out of our control. But looking at my test results and the symptoms you have been experiencing, I am certain that you are about 6 weeks pregnant.”
“B-but I bled last month.”
“For how many days?”
“One or two...”
“Then that was likely implantation bleeding, which is to be expected. Dizziness and even fainting are also fairly common symptoms, so there is no particular need to worry about today’s incident— though I recommend that you make sure to get adequate rest and nutrition to avoid complications in the future. Once again, congratulations.”
Finally, you drag your gaze over to your husband who has been silent since the doctor appeared, and his eyes are filled to the brim with tears when they connect with yours.
“You- (Y/n), you’re finally pregnant!” He whispers, and the way his voice cracks causes the dam to break within yourself and all of your emotions come flooding out. Before you know it you’re wrapped in his embrace, both of you simultaneously sobbing and laughing into each other’s necks from pure joy and surprise as the doctor excuses themselves from the room. It is like all of the building frustration from the past several months has been crushing you slowly and now that weight has been lifted, allowing you to breathe freely for the first time. Jimin feels similarly. He has been holding back so many of his emotions since you first started trying to get pregnant and that has taken a tremendous toll on his mind and body, but for the first time, he can finally release those emotions and let himself feel the heaviness of it all. He is crying harder than you are, soaking the top of your dress as you cradle his head to you and hold him there. His hands ghost over your waist and lower abdomen so delicately, as if protecting the growing life inside of you.
When you’ve both gotten yourselves together enough to allow Jackson and Lena to visit, they rush in without hesitation.
“Is everything okay?” Lena is by your side first, immediately noticing your red and puffy eyes. You’re a little bit hesitant to tell her because you know she’ll gloat about her “sixth sense”.
“Yes, I’m alright. We just found out that I am pregnant.” The room erupts into noise, the two of them sounding like an entire circus as Jackson nearly jumps on Jimin in a bear hug and Lena squeals excitedly beside you.
“I knew it! You dismissed me so offhandedly and it turns out that I was right! I have a sixth sense for these things, you know; you should trust me more often.” Just as expected.
“And here you were, just telling me how worried you were about not yet yielding an heir to the throne,” Jackson throws a heavy arm over Jimin’s shoulder. “I suppose we should celebrate before you depart in the morning. I will throw a lovely ball tonight in your honor!”
“Oh, I must oversee the preparations then! Get some rest, (Y/n), and congratulations again!” And just like that, the couple is gone, rushing back out of the room and leaving you and your husband giggling.
Tumblr media
“I am sorry, Lilian.” You apologize for what feels like the thousandth time. She continues to pout as she helps load your belongings into the carriage, barely sparing you a glance.
“I knew I should have stayed; I had a feeling something would happen.” She turns to scowl, not necessarily at you but it is in your direction. “I cannot believe I missed such a huge announcement as well! Both Jackson and Lena found out before me, this is so unfair.”
“You sound like a child,” You snicker, taking Kyungsoo’s hand as he helps you into the carriage behind Jimin.
“Yes, well I think I am allowed to throw a tantrum just this once.” You catch Kyungsoo crack a grin at her, the first time you’ve seen any emotion from him, and it brings a smile to your own face.
“If it makes you feel any better, Kyungsoo found out after Jackson and Lena, too.” Jimin comments, taking your hand and pulling you into his side.
“It does not make me feel better because he still found out before me!”
The sun is still low in the sky but slowly rises as you depart from the kingdom. Once you return to the castle, there are many duties that you must take care of, and many traditional processes you will have to go through now that you are pregnant— you are carrying a possible future heir to the throne after all. But you have never been happier. For now it still feels surreal, even though you have waited nearly a year for this moment, but as soon as the people of your kingdom come to greet you and celebrate the news of your conception, the reality of the situation will hit and you are sure you will be overwhelmed with new challenges. Pregnancy is not an easy thing, but at least you will have Jimin with you to help you through it all, just as he has always done. You rest your head on his shoulder with a mischievous grin.
“So Lilian, how was your date the other night? You seemed rather cozy with that young man at the ball yesterday evening.”
“It was not a date!”
374 notes · View notes
lunabonita · 3 years
Text
My Webtoon Recommendations
These are webtoons that are all 10/10 for me. Of course it doesn’t have to be a 10/10 for you, so just a reminder, do not attack me for liking a webtoon that you do not. These are my opinions and we are not going to have the exact same taste. Please be respectful.
Your Throne
Tumblr media
Genre: Fantasy
Chapters: 75
Status: Ongoing
-
“Tensions are brewing under the seemingly calm surface of the Vasilios Empire, a kingdom ruled by the Imperial Family and the Temple. Lady Medea Solon has lost her place next to Crown Prince Eros, but resolves to win back whats rightfully hers. Will she reclaim her throne?”
You know whats amazing about this webtoon? The summary leads you to think that what shes winning back is the prince. Wrong. Shes trying to win back the throne. I love how this webtoon doesn’t try to make it a girl focusing her goals on a man, but on power. Medea is such a strong and well written character that you can’t help but love her.
The second protagonist Pschye, who of which is the person who took Medeas place as Crown Princess, is the complete opposite of Medea. At the beginning you hate her, but as the webtoon goes on and Medea and her get a better understanding of eachother due to them switching bodies as a wish from God, you begin to root for them as they team up to take over the throne from the Crown Prince.
The art is so beautiful and I constantly found myself at awe from the amount of detail put into it.
-
The Makeup Remover
Tumblr media
Genre: Romace
Chapters: 78
Status: Ongoing
-
“After years of being told to focus on studying, Yeseul feels lost when she starts college and is suddenly expected to pay attention to makeup. When a chance encounter with brilliant makeup artist Yuseong leads to her taking part in a televised makeup competition, Yeseul begins to question the role that makeup and appearance play in society.”
This was created by one of my favorite webtoon creators Lee Yone. Their art is just so amazing and their stories always include such good topics.
For instance, The Makeup Remover’s theme is loving yourself for who you are. It shows how people treat you based on your looks and as someone whos struggled with that kind of thing for a while, this webtoon really touched me. The main character Yeseul is such a relatable character, even when trying to reject beauty standards, she still came subject to the pressures of living up to the people around her. She struggles with trying to love her own appearance and I really like that this webtoon didn’t try to be like, ‘fuck the beauty standard im better than that screw pretty people!!!’ it actually showed realistically how people struggle with self-image. I also love the main love interest because oh my god, we need more men like him please. He doesn’t care about Yeseul’s appearance and genuinely loves her for her personality.
Also, art is amazing. The author is so talented and you should support them by reading and liking the chapters.
-
Surviving Romance
Tumblr media
Genre: Horror
Chapters: 14
Status: Ongoing
-
“When Chaerin Eun becomes the protagonist of the romance novel she is reading, she expects a fairytale ending with the novel’s love interest, Jeha. But when a bizarre twist makes her realize the story is not playing out as it does in the book, she’ll need the help of an unlikely character from her class to defy the new storyline and find her happy ending - if only she can figure out who this ‘Unknown Extra’ is first!”
Hands down one of my favorite webtoons by a long shot. You ever see a webtoon and think, ‘oh yeah, thats going to be a good webtoon’? Thats how this webtoon was for me. It was so good that I spent hours searching for other chapters that hadn’t been uploaded to webtoon yet on other manhua websites. I discovered it because it was also by the author of ‘The Makeup Remover’.
If there is one thing you need to know about me, its that I am a huge horror fan. So when I saw that my favorite author on webtoon had a horror themed webtoon out? You bet your behind that I binged it. Let me tell you, best choice ever.
Think of it as if ‘Ino’s Law’ and ‘Quarantine’ were combined with amazing art and a badass MC.
The Remarried Empress
I love how it is set up to the point where she cannot ‘quit’ until she completes the novel. Creating scenarios where she must survive while meeting the standards in the book. It is such an amazingly written webtoon and I cannot wait for more chapters to be released.
-
Tumblr media
Genre: Fantasy
Chapters: 82
Status: Ongoing
-
“Navier Ellie Trovi was an empress perfect in every way - intelligent, courageous, and socially adept. She was kind to her subjects and devoted to her husband. Navier was perfectly content to live the rest of her days as the wise empress of the Eastern Empire. That is, until her husband brought hone a mistress and demanded a divorce. ‘I accept this divorce… And i request an approval of my remarriage.’ In a shoking twist Navier remaarries another emperor and retains her title and childhood dream as empress. But just how did everything unfold? “
Am I in love with Navier? Yes.
I absolutely adore how this story was set up. The first chapter begins with the big divorce scene, followed by Navier saying that she was going to be remarrying someone else since he wants to divorce her. This sets up a picture that gets completely shattered as you read the chapters. How everything falls into place with the reason behind the divorce and the remarriage is just so well written. The art is so good and and everything is just so insanely well done.
I absolutely love Naviers character, from her regalness and devoted loyalty to her role as empress, all the way to her petty moments and times of sadness. She is truly a character that you want the best for, and I cannot image anyone not liking her. Also the story is just so capable of making you feel emotions. I’ve laughed, cried, and got angry during the course of reading this webtoon. I love how betrayed I felt when the emperor brought home his mistress. It felt like I was in Navier’s shoes!
This is such a well done webtoon and I'm so excited for Navier to get all of the good things she deserves in her new Kingdom and with her new husband.
-
Witch Creek Road
Tumblr media
Genre: Horror
Chapters: 74
Status: Ongoing
-
“A survival horror about love, acceptance, death, and revenge. And sexy flesh-eating demons. Yeah, it has those, too.”
This series seriously mind fucked me. The way that this story is set up, you don’t see the full picture until the later chapters. Season two literally blew my mind. It is also very gorey so keep that in mind if you don’t like that kind of stuff, but for me that makes it all the better. It is just so wild and crass that you can feel your heart pumping in anticipation.
They even have their own website that goes further into the lore because it’s just so wild. Also the art style is just so amazing, because it complements the story and horror theme so much. You hate most of the characters because they suck, and it is so satisfying when they are killed. Also it has it’s sad moments but I think it is a nice break from the horror so it isn’t so overwhelmingly scary.
I binged this series and I recommend reading only a few chapters a day so you don’t overload your brain.
Other then that, an amazing webtoon. Seriously, go read it, support the author, so much work goes into the story and art that it’s insane.
-
Dating With A Tail
Tumblr media
Genre: Romance
Chapters: 36
Status: Ongoing
-
“On the dawn of her 29th birthday, unlucky-in-love Yunha discovers a shocking family secret: she’s started growing a fox tail, the mark of an ancestral curse. She must find her fated love before her 30th birthday or she is destined to become a fox forever! Even with her new-found enchanting power to attract men using her scent, will one year be enough to break the curse before it’s too late?”
Oh my gosh this is just such a good webtoon. It has amazing art, story telling, and characters. The true love interest was there the whole time, the villain isn’t who you’d expect it to be, and the spirit who cursed her is just! Im not going to spoil it but go read this webtoon!! It is so good and deserves more love.
Also Yunha is just so relatable?? Like she put off finding the woodcutter (her fated love) for 29 years and waited last minute to find him. Homegirl is me trying to do a project for school. Also to get rid of the scent that makes men attracted to her, she just starts eating a ton of garlic and that is just so funny to me.
Also I would go to church for the priest anytime if you know what i mean ;)
-
Omniscient Reader
Tumblr media
Genre: Action
Chapters: 53
Status: Ongoing
-
“Dokja was an average office worker whose sole interest was reading his favorite web novel ‘Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse.’ But when the novel suddenly becomes reality, he is the only person who knows how the world will end. Armed with this realization, Dokja uses his understanding to change the course of the story, and the world, as he knows it.”
I cannot get over how high quality this story is. The world building is phenomenal, the art is fantastic, and the characters are very fleshed out. This deserved all the hype it has gotten so far and more.
I love the ‘mc thrown into a different reality’ trope so much. Just like with surviving romance, Dokja’s world became the story he was reading. Also a very cool aspect of the story is the level up and the fact that its like a game. Earth has turned into this show for god like creatures to watch and it follows Dokja trying to survive. I also really like that TWSA has a protagonist, but Omniscient Reader’s protagonist is not the protagonist that was in TWSA. There is just so much lore and I’ll say it again, the world building is just phenomenal.
The Ddokkaebi’s and Dokja’s interactions are also just some of my favorite moments from the story so far. And oh my goodness I would die for Lee Gilyoung. Thats it, thats the tweet. That little boy could probably kill me with his giant praying mantis and I would let him if it would make him happy.
-
Not So Shoujo Love Story
Tumblr media
Genre: Comedy
Chapters: 45
Status: Ongoing
-
“Romance super-fan Rei Chan is ready for her first boyfriend and she knows just who it’ll be: the most handsome boy in school, Hansum Ochinchin. But her plans for the perfect story are derailed when the most popular girl in class declares herself a rival… for Rei’s heart?! This is the year her not so shoujo love story begins!”
This is just such a cute webtoon. The style is very appealing and while the humor can be childish and weird sometimes, it still has made me laugh a lot. I know the humors not for everyone but just keep in mind that it does get better as the story progresses and gets more serious.
Also its a gl! I’m really unable to find good gls these days that don’t fetishize wlw relationships. Rei being painted as a mean trouble maker whos just misunderstood and Hana being the ‘perfect girl’ who only wants Rei’s attention is such a cute dynamic. They balance each other out and better each other. Also stan Rei for constantly sticking up for Hana even if she doesn’t necessarily like her in the beginning, she has very good morals and sticks to them.
Also the defying stereotypes in this webtoon? Just god-tier. Really makes you think twice when you judge someone just on first impressions alone.
-
Odd Girl Out
Tumblr media
Genre: Drama
Chapters: 264
Status: Ongoing
-
“After a successful winter break makeover, Nari is finally ready for her high school debut. But somehow, she ends up friends with the three prettiest girls in school! Follow Nari as she tries to navigate her brand new high school life surrounded by beauties.”
This story has made me cry multiple times. A lot, even. It is just such a beautiful tale of friendship and finding support in people who are unlike those around theme. It also tells a great story about how anybody can be the ‘odd girl out’. Be it the fat girl, the beautiful girl, the rich girl, or the laid back girl.
It goes so deep into its characters that you even feel bad for the minor antagonists. It really makes you feel for the characters and the reasons behind their actions. Also I know its long, believe me I binged all 260 chapters in the span of three days, but oh my god it is worth it. Also I know the art is kind of off-putting, in fact that’s kind of why I put off reading the story, but I’ve honestly grown to love it and the writing is so good that the art could be literal stick figures and it wouldn’t matter.
The story is amazing and also I just love Nari. She’s just the best.
-
Gremoryland
Tumblr media
Genre: Horror
Chapters: 67
Status: Completed
-
“Six old school friends are invited to be the first visitors of GremoryLand, a new horror theme park that promises an experience as unique as it is spooky. But once this experience starts there is no turning back, and they find themselves tested beyond what they imagines, facing their most desperate fears in order to survive.”
This is definitely one of those stories were you kind of need to turn of your brain and choose to ignore ‘plot holes’ while reading the early chapters because this story definitely gets crazy if you don’t know the ending. Believe me if you stick with it it will all make sense and the satisfaction you get from finding the ending is just so worth it.
The story is so good, and who Gremory is you would literally never suspect. When it was revealed who Gremory was and how he was able to create Gremoryland is so fucking mind boggling that you would never guess. I had to do a double take. It wasn’t like one of those random characters with a vendetta type of twists, but like one you can pick out from clues throughout the story.
Its so good and twisted and just so worth at least giving it a chance.
-
These were some of my favorite webtoons on the app! Of course it’s not all of them because unfortunately there is a 10 image limit. I also made this because I’ve run out of new webtoons to read and would love if you guys commented some of your own recs. I can also do a part two with other ones I liked if y’all want more recommendations. You guys can even request specific categories like Drama or Sci-Fi and I can tell you my favorite ones from that genre.
Also a reminder - if you disagree with any of my praise of these webtoons be respectful about it. At the end of the day it’s my opinion and you don’t need to be rude when disagreeing with that opinion.
136 notes · View notes
telehxhtrash · 4 years
Text
GON FREECSS IS NOT INSANE (and the next person who says he is is getting their shins broken)
Tumblr media
Hi ! Welcome to another one of my brainrot analysis, and this one is entirely fueled by my hatred of people who mischaracterize Gon. I keep on seeing people say that Gon is crazy, unhinged, a psychopathic monster who only plays a role of the innocent kid. 
He’s not.
Gon is a 12 year old with severe trauma due to his dad’s abandonment and unhealthy standards and with a chaotic moral compass forged by his childhood spent on an isolated island.
He’s not a sociopath, not a psychopath, not a monster, not unhinged. He’s just a 12yo thrown in a ruthless world where he has to constantly prove his worth to feel like he can live up to his dad’s expectations. 
We’re so used to seeing shounen protagonists be happy, go-lucky characters who never suffer any real mental consequences from their past or adventures that some people have a hard time realizing that it’s just not realistic. 
Gon is a realistic portrayal of what happens to an abandoned child tossed in a merciless world where he constantly has to prove his worth. And of course, it’s not pretty. It’s terrifying to see Gon’s evolution, and it’s scary to see him slowly lose it. But it doesn’t make him a monster. It makes him feel human. 
Gon is introduced as this happy, cheery, stubborn kid who never backs down from a fight and likes the thrill of putting his life in danger. Which is…. normal in the shonen world, I’d say. But it’s really not normal for a 12yo, and when you take all the following events into account, it’s clear that Gon is not a normal shonen protagonist.
Gon is a very, very stubborn kid, and we get to see that very early in the manga. The one event that strikes me the most is during his face-off with Hanzo. 
Gon gets absolutely destroyed. He’s pretty much getting tortured, with Hanzo breaking his left arm and threatening to cut off the rest of his limbs if he doesn’t surrender. But Gon doesn’t back down. And it’s terrifying. 
Tumblr media
No matter how much pain he’s in, no matter the consequences, he refuses to give up. 
Because he hates being seen as weak.
Gon refuses to show any hint of weakness, and gets extremely mad whenever people perceive him as such. It doesn’t matter what the consequences are, he will NEVER back down. He’ll never be weak, even if it kills him.
And we’ve seen this a lot throughout the manga. Right after he shows his Ren to Tsezguerra during the Greed Island interview, Gon is pissed because he felt like he was being treated like trash. Same thing during early Chimera Ant Arc, when Kite tells Gon and Killua to fight Rammott, Gon gets really, really mad when Kite implies that if they can’t defeat him, that means they’re weak. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gon really, really struggles with being perceived as weak. It’s the one thing he hates the most. That’s why he’s stubborn about this and never backs down even if it costs him his life : he wants to prove his worth. He feels that need to prove he’s not weak, to prove he’s not trash. 
Weakness is not an option. He has to get stronger and stronger and stronger, because at the end of the road lies his goal : Ging.
And to me, Ging explains Gon’s most prominent character traits. Because Ging not only created those traits, but he also enabled them.
In shonen anime, oftentimes, the main protagonist’s dad is out of the picture, but it never truly has any impact on the character’s mental state or behavior. This is not the case in Hunter x Hunter.
Ging leaving left Gon with deep, deep trauma, and an extremely distorted view on his self-worth that leads him to overcompensate with physical strength. 
Tumblr media
When a child gets abandoned, they usually blame themselves. It creates that feeling of guilt, that maybe their parent left because of them, and that they weren’t and AREN’T important for them to just walk out like this.
Tumblr media
This feeling of guilt and shame creates a twisted self esteem in that child, making them believe that they aren’t important, that they aren’t of value. That they aren’t worth anything. Because their parents left them, it surely had to do with them, right ?
Gon has that distorted self-esteem that a child experiences after being abandoned. He has absolutely 0 value over his own body, constantly breaking it, pushing it past its limit to reach his goals, and this lack of self-worth and need to prove his worth is oftentimes represented physically by Gon hurting/losing his arm. 
Tumblr media
Everytime Gon loses/hurts his arm, it’s always after doing something out of need for validation. In Hunter Exam Arc, it’s right after refusing to let Hanzo win. In Heaven’s Arena Arc, it’s after he uses zetsu to win, no matter the consequences. In Yorknew Arc, Gon gets his hand destroyed by Nobunaga/his arm almost broken off by Feitan after he stood up to them. In Greed Island, Gon loses his hand for the sole purpose of training. And lastly, in Chimera Ant Arc, he loses his arm entirely after destroying Pitou in an attempt to ease his guilt.
Gon really struggles with his self-worth, and it’s also illustrated during the time they’re held hostage by Nobunaga, when Killua insists that he’ll stop his blade so that Gon can escape, even if it costs him his life. To which Gon replies with a sentence that is extremely crucial to be able to understand Gon’s character.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
”I can say I’ll die, but you can’t !”
Gon values Killua’s life more than his own. He gets to talk about death, he gets to be hurt, he gets to put his life in danger, because it’s fine if he does it, but Killua is absolutely not allowed to. Gon has absolutely no value over his own life, and doesn’t care if he dies. He doesn’t care if he gets hurt. Because at the end of the day, his body is not of value, and I truly believe that Ging’s abandonment left him with a feeling that he wasn’t of value as a whole.
And to me, this broken sense of self-worth is what created Gon’s hatred of being seen as weak. Because if he shows weakness, then Ging was right to abandon him. If he’s weak, then that means he’s trash, and worth nothing. If he doesn’t live up to his dad’s expectation, then what’s the point ? He’d mean nothing. He’d be no one. Just a small island boy whose dad left because his job was more interesting. That’s why he has to prove his worth no matter what.
Finding Ging is like this Holy Grail to Gon. It’s the ultimate goal. Like Kite said the first time he met him, it’s the ultimate hunt. It’s something that proves you’re worthy. So of course, Gon has to do everything in his power to find him. Because he wants to prove his worth. He wants to find his dad and prove that he’s not weak.
And to me, that’s why Gon is so stubborn and self-destructive.
I mentioned that Hanzo fight earlier, and there’s something interesting that happens during that fight that can be used to illustrate this. 
Hanzo asks why Gon is so stubborn, why he refuses to back down when he could just lose this match and face someone else. It’s true, Gon could have easily given up and fought someone else, he could’ve won then. But he refused to even consider the possibility. He had to win THIS fight. But why ? Is it out of pride ? Is it out of pure stubbornness ? 
Well, as Gon says himself :
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It has nothing to do with pride or being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. It’s easy. If he shows weakness once, he’s not worthy. He’s not worthy of finding Ging, and he’s worth less than trash. Because if he’s weak, he doesn’t deserve to find him.
And this is so, so important. Because this is the reason Gon never backs down from anything, even at the cost of his limbs. Because like he said, if he loses, he thinks that he won’t be able to meet Ging. So he has to do ANYTHING, anything at all, no matter the cost, to be able to find him.
That’s why he’s not backing down from the Hanzo fight at the cost of his arm. That’s why he’s using zetsu during his fight against Gido, even if it’s dangerous, because that’s what he has to do to get stronger. That’s why he purposefully blasts off his own hand during his fight with Genthru. Because he has to get stronger, no matter the cost. 
And Ging enables him. By making him feel like Gon has to “earn” the right to see him, Ging is fueling Gon’s self-destructive behavior. 
Ging enables him when he tells him that he has to hunt him to find him, that he doesn’t want to see him and that he’ll run away when he senses him coming. That cat and mouse game is putting extreme pressure on Gon’s shoulders. His dad expects great things of him. He expects strength, and he expects him to find him. It’s a challenge. And an unhealthy one.
Tumblr media
Greed Island is another example of that unhealthy challenge and the pressure of Ging’s expectations. Greed Island was created for Gon. It was created to train him, and as Bisky says herself :
Tumblr media
If Gon wants to see Ging, he has to be strong. He has to always be stronger and stronger so he can earn the right to see him.
Quoting one of my references here, but this is also a form of abandonment that fuels Gon’s self destructive behavior.
Tumblr media
All of these expectations put extreme pressure on Gon’s shoulders. Because he has to keep on pushing further and further, always improving, always getting stronger, and he’s not allowed to show weakness because it’d mean losing his goal.
But showing weakness wouldn’t only mean he’d lose his goal. Being weak would also mean he’d lose Killua.
I mentioned that when a child gets abandoned, they fear it’s their fault and develop a broken sense of self-worth. But that’s not all. After having been hurt, it’s normal to try and minimize the risk of being hurt again. You’d do anything to not be walked out on again. And that’s what Gon is doing. His fear of vulnerability and weakness is a fear of rejection and abandonment.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
That’s also why Gon hates being seen as weak. Because if he’s weak, not only is he not living up to his dad’s expectations, but he’s also running the risk of Killua walking out on him. Because he’s scared that if he shows weakness, Killua will leave him, just like Ging did. Because he’s not strong enough to keep him, or anyone by his side.
And to make up for that overwhelming feeling of insecurity and his guilt over being weak, Gon overcompensates with physical strength and stubbornness. We’ve seen it multiple times throughout the manga. Gon purposefully gets hurt when facing a dangerous situation, just so he can prove his worth. Just so he can get stronger. 
Gon overcompensates and takes everything onto his shoulders for this sole purpose of proving he’s worthy of staying.
Take the dodgeball match during Greed Island arc. There’s an interesting thing happening during the match that says a lot about Gon.
When Killua almost gets killed by Razor, it makes Gon’s blood boil. He’s furious and enraged that Razor dared try to hurt Killua. Because Killua has NOTHING to do with this. He’s only here because of Gon, and here he is, risking his life for him. Razor is putting Killua’s life in danger because of Gon. And that makes Gon go feral. 
But the most interesting line happens here :
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“I have to crush him completely”
Gon completely shuts off Killua at this point. He says HE has to be the one to crush him completely. He’s taking this responsibility onto himself, he has to be the one to defeat Razor, it’s his role. His and no one else’s.
And to me, that’s another sign of overcompensation fueled by abandonment issues. Gon feels guilt at what just happened. Killua shouldn’t have to risk his life to hang out with Gon. He has nothing to do with this, he’s only here because he wants to, and it drives Gon mad that Razor is trying to hurt him when it has nothing to do with him.
So because he feels guilt, because him not being able to protect Killua fully is a sort of weakness, he overcompensates with strength and by wanting to handle everything alone.
He affirms that he will take the responsibility of winning against Razor. It’s his fault Killua almost got hurt, so he has to bear the consequences alone. He has to make things right, no matter the cost. He has to show strength. He has to prove his worth.
Because what if Killua left him because he wasn’t strong enough?
I think this situation illustrates pretty well Gon’s trauma-fueled thought process :
• “It’s my fault this is happening because I’m too weak” (sparked by his twisted self-worth due to his abandonment issues)
• “So I have to bear the consequences alone” (to prove his worth as to not be abandoned again)
• “I won’t back down under any circumstance because my life has no value” (because of his lack of self-worth once again)
And this pattern is found in any situation in the manga. When Gon lets Kon scratch his arm until he bleeds to keep Kite from killing him, he’s doing it because it’s his fault Kon’s mom had to die. When Gon refuses to back down from Hanzo’s fight as he keeps breaking multiple parts of his body, he’s doing it because he believes that if he’s weak and backs down he won’t be worth seeing Ging. When Razor almost kills Killua, Gon flips out and emphasizes that he has to crush Razor because it’s his fault Killua is here and he won’t back down on kicking Razor’s ass.  And that’s why when Kite dies and Gon sees his mangled body, he tells Killua “I’m taking on that one (Pitou) alone” : because Kite got hurt because of his weakness, Gon has to make amends in any way possible.
That’s why Gon hurts himself, that’s why he’s constantly putting everything on his shoulders : he has no value over his own life. He’s focused on proving he’s worth something at any cost.
And those escalating feelings of insecurity and this behavioral pattern are exactly why Gon broke down during Chimera Ant Arc. Because everything that was piling up went crumbling down when he saw Kite’s arm being cut off. Because he was weak for an instant.
It was his fault. It was his fault, because he was weak, because he couldn’t defend Kite, because even though Kite had just lost a limb, he was still stronger than both Gon and Killua combined. If he had just trained harder, if he had put his life on the line more, if he pushed himself past his limit, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. It was his fault. 
At that precise moment when Kite’s arm got severed, every single insecurity that Gon had from the beginning of this manga is flooding in. Gon feels weak, he feels guilt, he feels like all of this is his fault. He feels like he wasn’t enough.
And because it’s his fault, he has to take everything on his shoulders. He has to be the one to bear the weight of his mistake alone. He has to be the one to carry the burden. Just like that dodgeball match.
Because he just lost everything. He showed weakness once, and everything crumbled. He had just gotten his dad’s student hurt, and that weakness meant that he also just lost his goal of finding Ging. Because now that he showed a hint of weakness, Ging would never want to see him. Gon had just lost everything. His mentor, his goal, and his weakness might drive Killua away too. 
That’s why he put everything on his shoulder and vowed to make things right. Because he wanted to prove to himself, to Ging, to Kite, and more importantly to Killua that he could do this alone. That he wasn’t a failure. That he wasn’t weak. That he was worthy of staying. 
That’s why when he sees Kite’s mangled body, he tells Killua that he’s taking onto Pitou alone. Because it’s his responsibility. He has to make things right. It was his fault for being weak. It’s his fault Kite got hurt.
Tumblr media
And at that moment, Gon probably already knew that he wouldn’t stop at any cost. Because it was a quest to assuage his guilt. It was a quest to make things right and prove that he wasn’t weak, that he could fix things, that he was still worthy of Kite and Ging and Killua. That he wasn’t a failure. So he pushed past his limit. Took everything onto his shoulders. Pushed Killua away, because it has nothing to do with him. It’s his own mistake, not Killua’s. 
Him going after Pitou is his attempt at redemption, a plea for help. A plea for someone to realize his worth. A plea to not be abandoned again.
And that’s why Gon is not a monster. He’s just a terrified child. 
During Chimera Ant Arc, he’s bottling up his feelings of inadequacy and guilt just so he could attempt to fix the mess he created, attempting to carry everything on his shoulders alone, because he can’t afford to drag anyone else into his mess, especially not Killua.
Gon is not a monster for pushing Killua away. It is not a sign of him being unhinged or manipulative. It’s an act of protection. An act of love, his way of saying “This is my mess and I have to fix this, I can’t let you get hurt for my sake.”. It’s the desperate attempt of a broken 12 year old to try and make things right.
Gon is not a monster because he threatened Komugi. It was a desperate attempt at regaining a sense of control on the situation. 
Because Gon’s morality has always been weird, it broke him to see Pitou heal Komugi. He couldn’t comprehend why something he categorized as evil was doing something as pure as healing. Just like that time during York New Arc ! Gon couldn’t understand why Chrollo was mourning the death of one of his members when he showed no remorse relentlessly killing innocent people. This inability to understand that bad people can do good things already broke Gon during YN arc, and it happened again during Chimera Ant Arc. 
He had nowhere to put his anger. All this time, he created this mental picture of Pitou in his head, this one where they’re an evil, evil villain who could never do anything good, he classified them as bad and that was that. But faced with them performing a pure act of healing, it broke Gon. He had no outlet for his anger.
Tumblr media
So he did what a 12 year old with a broken sense of worth and a need for validation would do : he overcompensated with even more anger.
In a desperate attempt at regaining a bit of control on the situation, his last resort was to threaten an innocent life. To take her hostage. 
Because if he couldn’t make things right, he’d just lost everything. No matter the cost. No matter what happens. He had to do this. He had to ease his guilt.
Gon is not a monster because he sacrificed his life. He’s not a monster because he turned into an adult version of himself. He’s not a monster because he bashed Pitou’s skull in until it was mush. It was the actions of a broken boy who had nothing left. Who had just lost everything. Because Kite wasn’t hurt, he was DEAD. He was dead by his fault, it was his fault. He had nothing else to live for, because he was weak and lost everything. 
Tumblr media
So he decided to kill himself to take down Pitou. Because he didn’t deserve to live. And this “fight” with Pitou wasn’t even to avenge Kite’s death. It was an attempt to ease his guilt. To feel a little better, because he might’ve lost everything, but at least he took down Pitou with him. 
I’m not condemning Gon’s actions or excusing them. At all. He made mistakes, and committed actions that are hard to excuse. But it was out of despair. It came out of years of pent up trauma and insecurities. His actions were a cry for help.
Gon didn’t “snap” out of nowhere. He always felt weak and insecure, he always had a broken sense of self-worth that led him to be self-destructive and overcompensate by taking everything onto his shoulders.
Chimera Ant Arc just pushed him past his limit. But this darkness, this plea for help, this trauma was always there in Gon’s heart. But it doesn’t mean he’s crazy. He’s just a child with abandonment issues and deep trauma.
To summarize, Ging’s physical and emotional abandonment left Gon with deep wounds that reflected in his behavior. Gon feels weak and insecure, he has no self-worth and a deep need to prove his value which leads him to constantly exhibit self-destructive behavior for the sole purpose of living up to his dad’s expectations and proving his worth. 
Gon feels the need to prove his worth and handle everything alone in an attempt to appear strong, and this unhealthy standards he puts onto himself and that Ging’s behavior enables are what ultimately led to his breakdown.
Because when Kite’s arm flew off, so did Gon’s entire reason to exist. 
He blamed himself for it, cursed his weakness and desperately attempted to make things right no matter the cost. Even if it meant death. Because death is better than being weak. Death is better than the guilt of having let his mentor down. Death is better than being rejected by his dad for his mistake. Death is better than being abandoned by his best friend.
And this deep, suffocating agony is what led Gon to act the way he did during Chimera Ant Arc.
It wasn’t the acts of a crazy, psychopathic monster. It was the act of a kid, desperately pleading for help.
But this breakdown was a good thing. No, really, it was. It was necessary.
Chimera Ant Arc was written to break down Gon to his core, to break his character in the worst possible way to annihilate the toxic traits he had.
His stubbornness, fear of weakness and self-destructive behavior were always going to break him in the end. But now that he knows what happens when you let all of this take over, it won’t happen again.
Gon is back to square one. Clean start, new beginning. Back to Whale Island with no nen, no goal, and with his best friend gone. 
And while some people might see this as depressing, or a sign that Gon didn’t change at all during the manga, it’s actually the exact opposite. It represents a second chance.
It’s the purest form of second chance he can get. He’s back to zero, and he has a blank canvas to be able to fix every wrong he made in the past.
With no nen, he now has the opportunity to learn it the proper way, taking his time to enjoy the process, learning it for pure purposes and not rushing to get stronger for the sole purpose of proving his worth.
With no goal, he’s free to find something that he wants to do for himself, not live in Ging’s shadow. He gets to be who he wants to be, with no unhealthy expectations.
With Killua gone, he gets to reflect on their relationship. He gets to realize the wrongs he’s made, the what-ifs and lost opportunities, he gets to realize how much Killua means to him. 
This second chance is not a curse, it’s a blessing. Because it’s exactly what Gon needed to be able to heal. 
And I’m willing to bet that this will be Gon’s final character arc : healing. We’ll get to see Gon act in ways that highlight how much he’s changed, showcasing his growth. When he was stubborn, hot-headed and impulsive, he’ll have learned to be more calm and composed. When he was always looking to prove his worth and look for strength, he’ll have learned that his true value lies in who he is and in the little detours of his travels. 
He’ll be more calm, won’t put himself in danger for the sake of being stronger, he won’t drag Killua in impossible situations where he has to clean up the mess. He won’t hurt his arm, which was the physical representation of his trauma. He’ll have grown.
Tumblr media
Because that’s what HxH is ultimately about. Togashi is all about deconstructing and reconstructing his characters to show growth and healing from trauma. To show that tragedy happens, but at the end of the day, you can overcome your worst traits. At the end of the day, you can become a better person, no matter what.
EDIT : I actually wrote a post on how I believe Gon’s next character arc was foreshadowed here.
Thank you for reading this ! I hope it was all clear and that I expressed my thoughts correctly, without mischaracterizing Gon.
Full disclaimer that I am NOT a psychologist and I’m not attempting to diagnose Gon, I’m just linking the signs of emotional trauma due to abandonment issues to his character in an attempt to explain his actions.
Please feel free to give me your thoughts or criticism ! 
References : 
• “Understanding the pain of abandonment” 
• “How to overcome abandonment issues from childhood”
Those two articles are the foundation of my meta. They’re extremely interesting articles that show all the signs of abandonment on a child’s behavior, and it showcases the consequences of both emotional and physical abandonment on their self-worth. 
• “Fear of vulnerability and learning to trust again”
942 notes · View notes