so, i, uh. have been (re)playing LJ as i’ve mentioned before. and this moment has been stuck in my brain for several days now, though it’s stupid AS FUCK, and i was prepared to go insane other this scene (turns out, not enough...). not gonna be normal about this, of course.
“probably never been washed” stop fucking projecting, yagami. and of course it’s a video game and yada-yada, that’s why we can’t see the stains. but there’s still NONE as far as we can tell. yagami, this way you won’t be able to beat the little hater allegations, as much of a good lawyer you are.
“can’t imagine the stink” why you, as a man, need to imagine how another man stinks if you don’t smell it already, there’s probably none. not to the point of being a ‘stink’. and don’t get me started on the fact that you still have no proof that it wasn’t washed ever. calm the fuck down.
other than that, i love this addition to the game. “the place he sleeps at is stinky and dirty, and has been for the last several years. stinks how, you ask? let your imagination run wild! but yeah, obviously nobody fucks this man. not here, at least. there’s not enough space for two people and who in the right mind would be excited to do the deed lying on this thing? so, here’s an important lore tidbit for you: the only two actions there probably happening are sleeping in dirty clothes and jerking off without cleaning after. you’re welcome.”
also this:
why does yagami have the need to be this pathetic. i love him, obviously, but he’s such. just so. yeah
things to note:
1) at least kuwana sleeps with sheets on. can’t say the same about the lil hater here.
2) and that’s why i’d be concerned about the smell of the sofa more actually, if anything. it looks pristine... but lets not forget that kuwana has the power of bedsheets on his side.
3) the only thing that keeps yagami motivated to work is that he can’t sleep or even sit comfortably in the only semblance of a residence he has. apparently.
4) this whole scene is funny as hell tbh. “he can’t even wash the dishes 🙄” look who’s talking. “could this chair be where kuwana sits?” you’re so stupid. can we kiss?
5) there were literally zero braincells used by yagami here. he’s just bitching during any other options which aren’t plot-related but available for investigation. YOU HATE HIM! WE GET IT! SHUT UP!!!
6) yagami at least had the decency not to voice the thoughts shown above to kaito. i’d honestly be embarrassed.
7) i have. So many thoughts about how disgusting they are. and i don’t even want to think them, let alone say them to anyone.
conclusion: what the fuck was that. i’m so pissed. leave me alone. preferably as far from these losers as possible. until they’d have a hour-long shower at least.
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Okay so just imagine like. You’re just a little guy. You have no parents and your grandfather who raised you has always disparaged and disapproved of the very fact that you exist, for reasons utterly beyond your control. People enjoy your presence because you’re polite and charming the same way they enjoy flowers in spring, which is to say in passing and ultimately without any real connection.
And then you meet this guy who is just like. obsessed with you. He always wants to be around you and he derives true joy from it without you having to say anything funny or clever or lie for politeness’ sake. He creates art that he loves of you and because of you. Indirectly, you are suddenly able to put joy and beauty into the world, anything into the world, because you inspire him. You never imagined you would leave any kind of footprint the way things were before, because nothing you had was meaningful or lasting. And he flatters you dreadfully, he tells you how incredibly beautiful you are, and whether you realise it or not, you can feel that at least part of this value that he has found in you, that he has given you, comes from that beauty.
And then one day you meet his friend, who is older than you and cooler than you and a lord, and so witty and eloquent that you struggle just trying to keep track of whatever the fuck he’s talking about (and he always sounds like he knows everything about it), and he’s been this guy’s friend much longer than you have, and he also compliments you on your beauty and so seemingly that is the only quality of any worth that you possess, right? And then he waxes on and on about how it’s the only thing worth having and explains that what you have is actually incredibly valuable and fragile and precious, and that you are inevitably going to lose it and there’s nothing you can do. And also he says all this while you’re having your gay awakening because he’s sweet-talking you in a way you’ve never experienced and it’s uhhhhh it’s something. So then while you’re having a complete existential crisis over this your mutual friend calls you over to show you the most exquisite painting you’ve ever seen in your life and it’s of you. You didn’t know you could be so beautiful to anyone, you didn’t know he could create anything so beautiful, you didn’t know beauty on this level could even be captured in art. And that’s how he sees you, continually, without you having to make any effort to please him? Just to be yourself is enough to have inspired this incredible thing? You might cry. And then you realise he created it here and now and of you because on this particular day of June, you are twenty years old, and young, and pretty, and once you age out of that, you will lose the one thing anyone has ever valued in you, and surely also his interest, and you will be alone again, and worthy of nothing and no one. And because you’re also twenty years old and privileged and inexperienced you’ve never learned any capacity for nuanced thoughts and say things that are incredibly rash and stupid and regrettable.
So I’m not saying Dorian did nothing wrong but I am saying in his position I’d definitely have been a vain and terrified idiot too
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