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dashofmonsters · 4 months

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Dreamers & Delusions- Pt. 1

Male Merman x Female Reader

You didn't like the idea of moving to another state and having to have a new life, but you hated the idea of staying even more so. There was nothing left for you but misery and you were just so tired of it.

When you moved to the west coast to live with your grandmother things seemed different. For the first few months there you felt like you could finally breathe, but that was short lived. Little by little things started to get worse.

First your grandmother kept making little snide remarks about your lack of interest in you not wearing make up. Then your job at the local diner had you working double shifts on the weekend. Your ex blasts some stupid shit about your break up all over social media and two of your close friends ghost you. Oh and then you discover a beautiful little slice of beach.

The last one wouldn't be so bad you tell yourself, if it wasn't for the same old stalking creeps who bother you at work. The only bright side was the mean mugging merman lifeguard who was built like a fucking god and had the attitude to back it up. In short, he's an asshole. But you know the difference between the good, the bad, and I'm just doing my job assholes and he's a weird mix of all three.

At first going to the beach was like free therapy for you. You could relax and get away from your judgmental grandmother and the creepy customers from the diner, it was like heaven. But just like moving here, things got worse over time. Somehow your three stalkers found your slice of heaven. Somehow you couldn't get far enough away from them. Somehow the beach became another slice of hell.

So you decided to sit as close as possible to the lifeguard when you wanted to lounge or swim out as far as possible. And that seemed to work, until today.

"Come on, I'm just asking you to have dinner with me," Kevin hovers over you, his arms crossed like an indignant child.

"For the last time man she's obviously not interested in an asshat like you. She'd rather go for drinks with me," Martin chimes in, his overly tattooed body stinking of cheap cologne and lack of deodorant.

"You two are fucked if you think she's going with either of you. She needs a real man, someone who can take care of her," Sam pushes the two aside and kneels down next two you. "Ain't that right sugar?" The accent, nickname, and bad breath nearly combined has you retching.

That response unfortunately spurred an impromptu fist fight. Kevin and Martin started wailing on Sam and then Sam the fuckboy threw punches filled with sand and Martin got punch so hard he moaned which made Sam hit him below the belt and the-

"I SAID ENOUGH!"

The scene died immediately. The nearly seven or eight foot tall merman lifeguard prowled towards the three idiots and parted them like they were curtains. Sam was the first to flee followed by Martin and Kevin who kicked up a ton of sand as the skedaddled towards the parking lot.

Mr. Asshole lifeguard stares you down hard now, his yellow eyes burning into you.

"Why is it whenever you're on my beach those three headaches are sure to follow?" he asks, very very pissed off.

You've had a similar question come up at work whenever those three would cause a ruckus on your shifts.

You roll your eyes, "Unfortunately some guys don't understand the definition of the word 'No'."

"So that means they have to follow you around like a group of parasites trying to latch at fresh meat?" he asks.

His question throws you off so much and the image it implies makes you giggle.

He's a merman from another realm who's acclimating, I should cut him some slack.

"That uh isn't too far from the truth but in all honesty, they're trying to bother me so much that I eventually have to say yes just to get them to stop bothering me," you explain.

The lifeguard crosses his arms and looks to the ground in serious contemplation before looking back up to you.

"And is this normal courting behavior," he asks.

"Unfortunately it is for some, but it's bad and wrong. For me it's annoying and I get no peace. They bothered me at work and now they bother me here when all I want to do is relax," you sigh, feeling oddly relieved to have gotten this off your chest albeit in an educational way.

"I see," he nods. "So you are not attracted to those parasites?"

"Not. At. All." you nod back.

"Noted," he grimaces and turns to walk back to the guard tower.

"Hey wait! What's your name?" you call out.

"It's Tao," he says, stilling walking towards his destination.

You smile and shout your name back to him but instead of dismissing you like you thought he would he waves back before ascending up the tower.

So it's Mr. Tao, mean mugging asshole lifeguard and crusher of parasites.

~~~~~~~~~

Things seemed calm for the first few days after Tao broke up the fight between the creeps. They didn't pop up at the diner nor at the beach but you still kept close to the guard tower. Well as close as Tao allowed it. He gave you a strong lecture that you needed to sit at least seven feet away from the tower for safety reasons.

Your grandmother even relaxed on her remarks for a little bit but moved from makeup to your weight. Something about working with food adding some extra pounds. It was a new hurt, but you'd numb to it eventually.

Getting numb was your specialty at this point.

And somehow finding new ways to bother Tao, though that was more unintentional. At first it was the sitting too close to the tower, then it was swimming without suntan lotion even though it was cloudy. Then it was not having an umbrella for shade which he oddly enough provided one for you a day later along with a lecture and a half. It would have been super annoying to anyone else but you found it oddly cute.

He'd henpeck at some of the parents over their kids running amuck or scold some of the too rowdy teenagers but no one could say that this guy didn't take his job seriously. No one got hurt or even so much as sunburnt under his watch.

Until they came back.

You had worked a long ass shift Sunday and all you wanted was to go to the beach and lounge. It was a short walk from your grandmother's house and you always enjoyed tuning the world out on that little trek.

It wasn't sunny but it wasn't too cloudy either. It was the perfect day to take a nice beach nap, watch a couple episodes of your favorite cooking shows, and maybe bother your favorite lifeguard for a bit of suntan lotion that you seem to keep forgetting.

You saunter down to the beach and lay out your favorite tie dye towel and stretch. Scanning the scene you notice that it'll be a very very calm day, that is since it's a Monday after all.

As you're about to walk over to the guard tower a familiar and annoying voice stops you.

"Hey babe, it's been a while!"

Ughhh Sam.

You ignore him and keep heading towards the tower. You hear him run towards you so you pick up the pace but are dragged back as he catches your arm.

"It's fucking rude to ignore someone talking to you," Sam spins you around and holds you in place.

"Like you'd fucking listen you fucking parasite. How many times do I have to say no or I'm not interested for you to get it through your thick fucking skull you goddamn idiot!" you yell at him, hoping Tao will hear.

Sam shakes you before jerking you around, "A pretty thing like you shouldn't be talking like that, come on and be sweet."

You start kicking your legs and land squirming violently before headbutting Sam as hard as you can right into his nose. He curses but doesn't let go so you decide to go to bite his hand until you're suddenly being ripped out of his arms.

Thinking it might be Tao you turn to smile only to be assaulted with that nasty cheap cologne smell. You grimace and try to pull away from Martin only to get yanked away by Kevin.

To his credit, Kevin doesn't hold on tight and he actually turns his back to the others before they try to continue their game of tug-a-war with you.

Sam kicks Kevin in the shin but somehow Kevin is able to stand long enough to push you in the direction of the tower. Without saying anything he turns and decks Sam in the face. You're frozen in horror for a moment then turn to run to the tower only to be met with a brick wall called Tao.

"I see the parasites are back on my beach," he seethes before looking you over. He looks furious.

Before you have a chance to say anything he stomps over and grabs Sam by his neck and hoists him in the air. Kevin and Martin fall back on their asses before scrambling to get out of the way.

"When someone says no, they mean no. It is not an invitation to continue your inappropriate courting behavior," Tao tightens his grip around Sam's neck.

"F-fffuck you fish boy. I will get you fucki-ing deported for this! I saw er first," Sam grits as he flails about, face turning all sorts of shades of red.

Tao tosses him to the ground like a ragdoll and before Sam can catch his breath, Tao holds him down by just a foot alone. He kneels down till his knee is almost digging into Sam's throat and says something that makes that asshat still.

You feel your heart still when Tao turns to you and beckons you over. Taking little steps at a time as your feet feel like lead you come to a stop next to Tao and Sam.

Sam is pale as a piece of printer paper.

"Tell her," Tao snaps at Sam.

"I-I-I am sorry. I won't bother you here or at the diner again. I promise you'll never see me again," Sam stutters and shakes like a leaf in a hurricane.

"And?" Tao presses.

"I-I'm a lowly parasite unworthy of your time and presence," he cries.

Tao nods then looks to you, "Anything you want to add?"

You're taken back by the soft look on his hard face. His eyes look worried even though his expression is still pissy offy.

You shake your head and cross your arms to hold yourself.

Tao moves off of Sam and forces him up and threatens to call the cops if he ever shows his ugly face on his beach again. Sam quickly scampers away, tripping several times as he makes his way to the parking lot.

There's a strange numbing feeling building in your chest that is suddenly washed away when Tao gently touches your shoulder.

"Come on, let me go look over those wounds," he nods towards the tower.

All you can do is follow him silently, still shocked about what just happened. You're so used to just going with the flow, dealing with whatever life gives you and fighting when you can. You've never had anyone come to your rescue. Not once.

"I have something that will clean the cuts where they got you with their fingernails and some band-aids. Unfortunately there will still be some bruising from when they were tugging at you," he says, a tinge of regret in his voice.

He leads you to the steps of the tower an has you sit down while he climbs up and grabs his first aid kit. You silently let him fuss over you as you try your best not to cry. Even though it's his job it's the first time anyone has treated you with this much kindness in a long while.

"Thank you," you mutter, finding it hard to speak.

Tao sighs and rubs some more antiseptic ointment on your arm, "I had thought my last conversation with those three would have been the last. Those males really are thick in the skull... I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you still came to my rescue," you try and smile but a stupid tear slips down.

Tao stills his hand, "Did that hurt?"

You shake your head, "No no, just uh got some sand in my eye. I'm fine."

He glares at you but sighs, "Alright then. Try and stay out of trouble and for the love of the goddesses please tell me if those parasites bother you again, in fact tell me if anyone bothers you while on my beach."

"Why?" you ask, feeling a bit strange that he'd go that far for your safety.

"Why?" he repeats, almost not sure of himself. "Because I like peace and you come here bringing chaos, more so than the kids whose parents are stuck to their devices or the teens who shoulder fight in the ocean."

"You mean chicken?" you ask, trying not to laugh.

"Whatever it's called! You humans have a major lack of self preservation and it's a wonder you've lasted this long," Tao stands, sounding frustrated as hell.

You dust yourself off and stand up too, "Well it's a good thing you're here then Mr. lifeguard... Because if it wasn't for you-"

You cut yourself off when the realization finally dawns on you. If it wasn't for Tao, things could have gotten a lot worse, you could have been hurt or dragged off the beach.

"If you weren't here, I might have been hurt a lot worse than just some bruises and cuts," you finish.

"If I got to you sooner you wouldn't be hurt at all," he replies, his face riddled with guilt.

"Yes well, what happened happened but you still saved me so stop blaming yourself for something that was out of your control dammit, " you kick some sand in his direction making him roll his eyes.

"You are too forgiving and far too kind for your own good," he shakes his head.

Too forgiving? No, he did nothing wrong. Too kind, maybe. You always hated confrontation when you could avoid it so you just smiled through things and mustered on. What was the point in getting upset when anger never solved anything.

"You might be right about the kindness thing, but forgiving," you pause to laugh. "I wouldn't say I'm forgiving at all, probably more spiteful if anything."

Yeah that felt right but not in the correct way. If you were going to prove a point it was usually in the worst way possible.

"Noted," Tao raises a jet black brow. He has such an interesting look with his tan skin and white hair with black streaks on one side. It was like if a Hollywood action star and a kpop idol had a baby or something. He has black bands on his arms that start right after his shoulders and stop right above the elbow. His hair is slicked back most of the time but right now it's messed up from his one sided fight with Sam.

"So uh, I'm just going to go back over there and do what I was going to do and relax," you give him your most nervous goofy grin.

Tao, in his ever so Taoness just nods.

~~~~~

True to his word you never saw Sam at the diner again or Martin, but Kevin did come by ever so often. Kevin was less on the creep side now, apparently very very sorry for his behavior and how he made you feel uncomfortable.

It didn't excuse what he did even though he tipped extra now to make up for it whenever he did come in.

Your grandmother though started to get worse again. From your make up, to your weight, and now your resistance to wearing booty shorts to catch a man's eye.

"I'm not going to wear it and that's final. I told you time and time again I'm not comfortable wearing shit like that," you raise your arms and try to stomp off.

"You ungrateful bitch are you afraid of looking like a slut? There are models and actresses who wear this! Are you slut shaming them," your grandmother shouts at you as she practically walks on your heals.

"God no! I just don't want to wear! Can we just drop it please," you beg her.

"I'll drop it once you try it on and walk outside in it for awhile," she tosses the shorts at you and crosses her arms.

"FUCK. NO." you crumple them up and toss them back at her feet.

"You're supposed to humor me remember? That was part of our deal for you to live here," she crinkles her face and slaps your arms.

You crumple back a bit and bite your cheek as you curse yourself for ever agreeing to live with her.

"Not at the expense of my comfort. I'm not your fucking dress up doll," you say through your teeth.

"You're insufferable, fine we'll make a trade deal. Don't humor me, but you owe rent now. two hundred a month. I believe that's more than fair," she throws up her hands and kicks the shorts to the side.

"Fine, that's fine. I can do that much," you exhale in relief. "I gotta get ready for work ok?"

"Yes yes and... I'm sorry, you know I get hot real easy. It's why I'm alone. I just don't want you to be. I just want you to be happy and well," she sighs and picks up the shorts.

"I know," you respond, the numbness starting to set in at her very stereotypical response.

"I love you," she coos as she forces you into a hug.

You give her a limp hug so she won't have something else to bitch about and tell her you love her too.

She's always like this after you two fight, so loving, so caring like she used to be when you were a little kid. She's changed to much after granpop cheated on her. No one saw it coming, they had such a great relationship but that was just what they showed everyone. In private, they both ran hot and your granpop was no saint. He cheated since the dawn of their marriage, he just didn't get caught until ten years ago.

Ever since that happened you tried to keep yourself better guarded so you wouldn't have to hurt like your grandmother. Unfortunately you're a hopeless romantic with a record of getting your heart broken very easily. That's part of the reason for the drastic move.

~~~~~

"Fuck I hate these dead shifts," you groan as you clean your section for the third time this evening.

"Enjoy it while it lasts sweetheart. Once summer hits, you'll be begging for a dead shift," Denise says as she lounges against the door to the kitchen.

"I know, I barely survived the ass end of it," you roll your eyes.

Working here was a breeze to be honest, but working under Mikey the shift manager was hell. He loves playing Russian Roulette with shifts, especially close to holidays or birthdays. Jessica bitched him out so bad in front of everyone that if he scheduled her on her birthday or her son's birthday one more time she would burn this place to the ground.

Needless to say when your ex-wife raises hell to a full diner, you listen.

You've stuck onto her like glue ever since, you needed an angel here.

"Any plans after you cut out," she asks.

Oh yeah, you have plans. Change and skip your happy ass down to visit your favorite lifeguard. You can't help but smile at the thought.

"Mmm you do have plans," she grins back and wriggles her drawn on brows.

"It's not like that," you roll your eyes.

Yes Tao is attractive but you hardly know him. He's nice and predictable. Safe and just wants things to be at peace. He's someone you respect for that for sure, but you can't see yourself crushing over him. It would ruin the faint friendship you've slowly but surely built with him.

"It really isn't it. He's like you. The only other friend I have here and I don't need more than that right now," you explain.

She gives you a sad smile and nods, "I know baby girl, you're still resetting from all that bullshit."

Jessica is the only one who really knows your situation as you spilled your heart out to her a couple weeks ago after she took you out for drinks for your birthday. She held you and patted your head as you ugly cried for a solid hour.

"How about you, anything new and exciting," you quickly change the topic and Jessica beams.

"Oh you know, just a little date with Mr. Perfect," she grins.

"This will be date number five Jes, you're really serious about him aren't you," you tease.

She crosses her arms and tosses her hip a bit and smiles, "Listen, if you asked me a few years ago if I ever saw myself dating a wild fae with a beard that would make every biker in the states jealous then I'd say you're crazy. But here I am, about to go on my fifth date with my wild man and I'm as happy as a bee in a bouquet."

She goes over her past dates with you until Mikey interrupts saying that you both need to get back to work. His interference was cut short by Jessica poking him in the chest and lecturing him about how there's no reason for the diner to be fully staffed during a dead shift and got the both of you off hours early.

"There will come a day when neither of us have to come back to this shithole ran by assholes. Just assume that if I never return that I got swept off my feet to the fae wilds to have crazy hot wild fae sex everyday," she laughs as she shimmies into her leather jacket and lights a smoke away from you.

"And if I never return, assume that I magically saved up enough to start my own restaurant," you smile back.

That's been the big dream. A small tapas style restaurant that catered to humans and the fair folk. There are so few establishments opened that cater to their palettes and it's not fair. Food brings people together and you see it as a great way to mix the fair folk into your world. Problem is, you don't know a lot of fair folk aside from Tao.

Suddenly the lightbulb in your head goes off.

"That's it," you say under your breath before hugging Jessica goodbye and running towards the beach.

I can ask him what he likes to eat and start from there. This is doable! I just hope he doesn't mind playing a million questions.

~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Tao, are you up there?" you shout as you round the tower.

Without so much as a word Tao drops with a sandy thud.

"What did you forget now? It's too dark for sunscreen and too warm for a shawl. Water perhaps?" he guesses and turns to climb back up the tower but you quickly stop him.

"No no, none of that. I uh um... What do merfolk like to eat?" you ask.

"Why do you want to know? Is a male courting you or something?" he asks back.

"What? No no. It's just that one day I want to run a restaurant that serves food for the fair folk and you're the only one I know so...," you shrug to him and he blushes.

This big ass god like brick wall just blushed?

"Ah, I see," he clears his throat. "Well in that case I can create a detailed list of ingredients and dishes that suit a saltwater diet."

"That... That would actually be amazingly helpful. Wow... Thank you!" you grin but then remember that thing about courting.

"So what was that thing you meant when you asked if I was being courted?" you raise a brow.

Tao's eyes go wide and he has this nervous look on his face that you've never seen before. "It's uh, customary for the males of my kind to present a feast to a female they are courting. Usually a female has many suiters and picks whoever has the most impressive spread the privilege to continue courting her."

"Oh, that's interesting. I haven't heard much on mer culture and traditions so this is new to me. I'm sorry if the question made you uncomfortable," you apologize.

"No, no. It's just that no one has asked or even seemed a bit interested in my people's ways. They're just interested in me," Tao waves up and down to himself.

"Well if they were truly interested in you, they'd try to get to know you," you cross your arms, upset for him.

Tao nods and you can tell he's thinking really really hard about something until he shakes his head.

"How can you tell if someone is wanting to get to know you for reasons other than trying to get me to their... uh what is the human word for nest again," he snaps his fingers trying to think.

"Bed?" you ask.

"That's it, how would I know," he repeats.

"Hmm, that can be a tough one. Some people will really put in a lot of effort to make you think that they care when they just one a night of fun. Some will check in on you everyday till they finally get you into their bed and ditch you when they're done," you explain.

Tao looks disgusted, "And this too is normal behavior?"

"For the people who just want a good time and don't give a rats ass about someone's feeling, yes," you grimace.

"Is this from your personal experience or observation," he asks.

Tao's famous curveball question hits you right in the gut. You look away from him and hold yourself for a moment as the numbness builds.

"Yes," is all you manage to say.

"I am sorry. It seems my question was insensitive," he bows.

"It's fine, you're just curious. I'd rather help you not make the same mistakes that I had to. You're like the only other friend I have here," you admit.

Tao looks shocked when you say that, like you slapped him with a wet towel.

"You consider me a friend?" he finally asks after a long moment of silence.

Shifting a bit in the sand you bite your cheek and nod, "You're the only guy friend I have. I feel safe when I'm at the beach and you don't make me feel uncomfortable at all. I just... some things are hard for me to talk about ok?"

He nods and although his expression doesn't change much, there's a brightness in his eyes you've never seen.

"Is that ok? I mean if it's against your culture I understand it can be o-"

"No, it's alright. I just didn't think a human would want to be friends with me," he run his hand through his hair and stares at the ground.

"Well, I mean you do mean mug just about everyone you talk to but I know deep down you're probably just being on your guard and it's hard to be nice sometimes," you tell him.

"I see, so not being expressive keeps people away? Hmm what could remedy this without me having to give up my uh... mean mug," Tao cocks his head and crosses his arms.

"I'm not sure. Most people tend to like it when you're more welcoming and less upset looking all the time. Is your stoicism like some cultural thing?" you ask in turn. Turns out Tao is playing a million questions with you now.

"Yes. Typically we're only expressive with close friends, family, and our mates. They're the only ones who are supposed to see your true face," he replies.

"That actually sound reasonable and nice," you smile.

"Do humans not have something like that," he settles against the tower later, full into the conversation now.

"Yes and no. Some of us rely more on friends than family and vice versa. Some will rely on their mates alone if their family or friends aren't available. It can be all sorts of combinations really," you shrugs and lean against one of the pillars holding up the tower.

Tao looks up thoughtfully before his gaze settles out towards the ocean. There's a comfortable quiet between the two of you as the sun sets behind a cluster of grey clouds.

"Looks like rain," you comment.

"It's been smelling like a set of storms all week. Probably about to usher in some cold weather," Tao sniffs the air and sighs.

"Not a fan of the cold?" you shift in the sand and turn a little more towards Tao.

He shakes his head, "I grew up in a much warmer climate. If it ever got too cold we would sleep in our clusters or migrate. I can't do either here so I've just been adding more layers to my nest with every paycheck I get and buying the warmest clothes that fit me."

"I gotchya. I like some good mild weather myself. Not too hot or cold. By the way what will you do once winter hits? Beaches are usually closed once winter hits," you ask, realizing you might have to find another safe haven of sanity during that time.

"I'm not too sure, I haven't given it much thought," he admits. "At least I have a little time to consider a winter job so I don't have to hibernate."

"Yeah that would be... wait what?"

Part. 2>

#monster boyfriend #monster x girl #monster x human #monster x reader #monster lover #merman #Tao the merman #merman x reader #monster romance #merman boyfriend #monster love #merman x female reader #monster boyfriend oc #monster bf #slow burn #slow burn romance

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roxygen22 · 4 days

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Still Here (Chapter 10)

Summary: Picks up after your steamy confession that you love Timothée in return.

C/W: NSFW-ish beginning (minors DNI); parent with terminal illness

Catch up on previous chapters here.

Timothée trembled on top of you, barely able to support his weight on his elbows as he came down from the high of his climax.

"You do?" he asked, his tone revealing an air of disbelief.

"Yes. I've known with certainty since the day we went to the lake. I thought I had pushed those feelings aside a long time ago, but obviously the embers never died. I've just been too scared to say it, like that would somehow save me from heartbreak if you change your mind."

He rolled to your side and propped his head up on his hand so he could still look at you. "I haven't changed my mind in 12 years, [Y/N]." He traced your jawline lightly with his fingertips. "Believe me, I have tried many times over the years to convince myself otherwise. You're stuck with me."

"Promise?"

Timothée nodded, nuzzling his nose against your ear. "Can I hear you say it again?" he whispered.

"I love you, Timmy."

His lips crashed down onto yours in response. His free hand landed on your hip, his fingers making indentations in your flesh as he pulled your body to press up against his. This ebb and flow of passion continued throughout the night. When the two of you were finally spent, Timothée clung to you in his sleep as if he were afraid you would disappear.

You stirred when a ray of light from the window hit your face. Waking up next to Timothée after a night of lovemaking was something you had yet to experience. As teens, you were never afforded the opportunity. You took advantage of the chance to take in the features of his peaceful face. In many ways he looked just like he did all of those years ago. The same recognizable jawline, sharp nose, and mop of dark curly hair. But there were subtle differences that you found yourself falling in love with. Laugh lines. Crow's feet. A tiny scar next to his nose. You wondered what story was behind that and made a mental note to ask him later. You found yourself hoping that you would get to stare at this face for the rest of your life.

Your thoughts were interrupted as Timothée began to stir. His eyelids fluttered open, and he smiled as his eyes focused on you.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, his voice still thick and gravelly with sleep. He pulled you in for a quick kiss.

"Morning." You smiled and sighed.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You gently shrugged. "I wish I could give you back all the years I wasted."

"Everything happens for a reason, love. The past is the past. What we can do, though, is have fun making up for lost time." He gave you a suggestive look and squeezed your thigh. He acted like he was about to lean in for another kiss, but stopped just short of your lips. "But first, breakfast."

You took in the view as Timothée threw off the blanket and walked naked to the kitchen. You wouldn't mind seeing that for the rest of your life, either.

<><><><><>

After enjoying breakfast in bed, the two of you got dressed and Timothée drove you back to your parents' house. Needing to get back to check on his dad and work in his shop, he dropped you off in front of the house.

Before you got out, he asked, "Hey, why don't you and Madison come over for dinner this evening? Dad would love to see you again and meet Madison. And it would mean a lot to me."

You paused to think through your calendar. "Sure, we can do that. Text me later about the time and what I can bring." You kissed him on the cheek and hopped out of the truck.

Madison was sitting on the couch in the living room when you walked inside. She crossed her arms and glared at you. "Where have you been?"

You found the juxtaposed roles amusing, but tried your best not to show it. "We watched a movie at Timothée's house and fell asleep." Not exactly a lie, but she didn't need the full truth, either. Madison narrowed her eyes at you, but she was satisfied enough with the answer to return to her book.

Your mother watched the entire exchange and covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. You walked past her to the kitchen with a knowing smile on your face. She followed you and asked, "Sooooo, how was your night?"

"Well, like I said, we watched a movie at his place and fell asleep." You laughed nervously and blushed.

"Mm-hmm. I wasn't born yesterday, child."

"It was....good. Really, really good."

She smiled. "Good. You needed to get some."

You scoffed. "Mom!"

"What?! Like I said, I wasn't born yesterday. I called it as soon as he said y'all were going to his place instead of out for dinner." She grinned.

"ANYWAY. Timothée invited Madison and me over to his dad's house for dinner tonight," you interjected, trying to change the subject.

"Must be getting pretty serious if he's bringing y'all home to meet the family," she quipped.

"It's not like I've never met Mr. Chalamet before," you replied insolently.

"Perhaps. But Madison hasn't."

You opened your mouth to rebut, but quickly shut your jaw with a click. She was right, though the realization did not come as a shock. "You're stuck with me" resonated in your head. Timothée was all in at this point. You ducked your head and smiled.

<><><><><>

You returned to the Chalamet's property later that evening with a bottle of wine in hand and daughter close behind you. Timothée met you at your car to give you a chaste kiss and Madison a hug. "Come on inside," he said as he guided the two of you up to the porch.

Mr. Chalamet was waiting at the front door with open arms. "[Y/N]! So good to see you again," he exclaimed as he closed the hug. "And who is this?" He looked at the girl who had half-hidden herself behind Timothée's leg.

You stepped back from the hug and waved her over. "Madison, come meet Mr. Chalamet." You heard him gasp slightly as your daughter revealed herself.

"She looks just like you did as a girl."

"That's exactly what I said the first time I saw her, too," Timothée agreed, setting a hand on Madison's shoulder in reassurance.

She looked up at you in disbelief. "Is there anyone in this town who didn't know you as a kid?" All of you laughed.

Unable to stand for long, Mr. Chalamet returned to his armchair in the living room. You accompanied him and caught him up on the highlights of your time in California while Timothée stepped away to put the finishing touches on dinner. Once Madison helped him set the table and bring out the food, the four of you took your places. Soon you were all reminiscing and laughing at the stories Mr. Chalamet told of Timothée as a boy. You could tell, though, that he was getting tired by the time dessert was served. You and Madison cleared the table while Timothée helped him back to his armchair, then joined them in the living room.

You knelt down in front of him and held his hand. "This has been lovely, Mr. Chalamet. Thank you for having us over."

"Oh, sweet girl. I'm so glad you are back." He nodded past you at Madison, who now stood by Timothée. "You've done a good job with her, my dear. Timothée talks about her all the time."

"Oh, she makes it easy." He gave you a soft smile.

"Will we be seeing more of the two of you, [Y/N]?

You looked at Timothée and smiled before looking back at his dad. "I hope so." You sandwiched Mr. Chalamet's hand between yours and squeezed before standing to leave. Madison shyly waved at him and followed you out the door. Timothée walked the two of you to your car and opened the door for Madison. Before he opened yours, he leaned down to give you a kiss.

"Thank you for this," he said quietly.

"He...seemed to be in good spirits."

"Today was a good day. Those seem to be happening less frequently. He rallied because he wanted to see you two."

You reached up and cupped his cheek. "I see now why you said this would mean a lot to you. I didn't realize he was so..." You were at a loss for words.

"Sick? Yeah. I know it may have seemed a bit premature for this, but I wanted to have, uh..." He looked up at the sky and cleared his throat to will the tears away.

"A family dinner?" you guessed.

Timothée looked down at you and nodded. "I know this is fast and you wanted to take things slowly, but there may not be time and I didn't want to lose the chance to be surrounded by the most important people in my life, those still with us at least. I can't explain just how badly I wanted my dad to meet Madison, especially. I know she's not mine, but I...I love her so much already."

"I know." You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. He rested his head in the crook of your neck and cried.

<><><><><>

Chapter 11 (coming soon)

Masterlist

Tag List: @croatianprincess, @bluizh, @jindongdongie, @groovyqueer

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the-offside-rule · 10 months

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Dennis Hauger - If Or When

Requested: yes

Prompt: messy breakup with Hauger

Warnings: cursing, toxic

Breakups were always hard and there was no doubt about it. For Y/n it hurt on a different level mainly because Dennis didn't seem to care. Even though her friends would tell her that he did care deep down, he hid it well. This all happened after Dennis went to a house party with a few of his friends, a party Y/n didn't go to. She didn't mind him going to parties because she knew his friends wouldn't let him be stupid. During this party, a girl recognised him and asked for a photo so he just gave in and went looking to have a good night. While they were taking the photo, the girl leaned in and kissed his lips and snapping the picture at the exact moment she did. He didn't waste a second pushing her off and leaving. Y/n understood when Dennis told her. She got how girls worked but the way Dennis tried way too hard to kepp her convinced had her thinking that Dennis had done something.

"Okay! You've explained it and I said I trusted you! Now that you're defending yourself even when I've told you I trust you did nothing wrong makes me think that you actually did something with her!" Dennis threw his hands up in the air and let out a loud, annoyed groan. "But I didn't do anything!" he whined. "Oh my fucking god! I know! I've said I believed you and you rambled on and on about it!" Y/n said. "And now? Do you still believe me now?" Y/n nodded. "You're lying to me." Y/n's mouth fell open. "Did you just call me a liar?" Dennis held back his next words, not wanting to evoke anything. "Repeat your statement please." She stood up and walked towards him calmly. "Dennis, just repeat what you said." He let out a sigh and repeated what he had said. Y/n didn't go off, she just chuckled to herself, letting a tear roll down her cheek. "I would do many things Dennis, but lying isn't one of them."

"W-where are you going now?" He asked as she reached for her schoolbag. "I'm going. I'm not gonna stay here and have you accuse me of being a liar." and since then, they hadn't been the same.

They still followed each other and liked each other's posts. Texting from time to time but not too often. Things just went downhill. Her friends kept bombarding her with questions about the sudden distance between the two. She kind of just shrugged it off and pretended nothing was wrong until she was alone with Dennis at his house. They hadn't said other than hey and didn't even speak.

"Do you want some food ordered?" Y/n asked looking up from her phone. "No thanks babe." There was a silence in the room, the occasional sound of the buttons on his controller was the only sound in the room, until he spoke up. "Why aren't we talking?" he asked. Y/n blinked a few times before sh e shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, you tell me." she replied coldly. "Babe, is it over that girl that kissed me?"

"No! Well maybe- no actually." she stuttered. "Then what is it?" he asked setting his controller aside. "You were just so persistent of the fact that you didn't do anything, even though I said I believed you." Dennis didn't know what else to say. "It made me look suspicious." She nodded. "Dennis, I think we should-" He stopped her. He knew what she was going to say. He didn't want to lose her. "Y/n, no." he said standing up. "Dennis, this past month has been horrible-"

"We can make it better!"

"Dennis, just a break-"

"I don't want a break babe!"

"Dennis!"

"Y/n please!" his voice broke and he was practically on his knees begging. It broke her heart to see him this low or desperate.

"Look, as much as I myself hate to admit it," she paused to take a deep breath in. "you might not be the one and I'm not going to sit on my bed, crying that I'll never find my true love because I know he is out there somewhere. I'll sit on my bed crying a little because it isn't him, it isn't Dennis." She wiped a tear that fell from her eyes and stood up again. She went to walk away but felt a hand on hers. "If we can get back together, will we?" Y/n smiled sorrowfully. "If. That's a weird word, isn't it? It implies that it might not happen." He let her hand slip out of his and watched on, holding the tears in as he watched her walk away, out of his door and therefore, out of his life

Whether it was for forever, now that's a different story.

#f1 blurb #f1 imagine #f1 oneshot #dennis hauger #dennis hauger imagine #dennis hauger oneshot #dennis hauger imagines

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voidfkedup · 1 month

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tw: domestic abuse, narcissist parents, atheism

Sometimes I feel like I might be a bad daughter. Sometimes I wish to be born on a different family, or not even been born at all.

But I wouldn't have the people that I care about. Maybe I would have better friends if so, who knows.

I don't know why she's so angry at me. Of course, we all have bad days and the last thing that we need is someone to say the wrong thing before you snap.

But it doesn't excuse to grab my hair and press my head against the kitchen counter, or the wall of my bedroom.

While I do understand and appreciate the things she did for me, the things she had to go through during her life to raise me. Obviously I do, but it doesn't excuse when she raises her hand at me when I have a different opinion from her.

I'm not gay, even as hard as it is to like man when all they ever do is flaunt to each others and cheat. I'm not trans, and I actually do feel very comfortable in being a woman, aside from the annoying periods. But it doesn't give me any peace of mind when she tell me that I dress or act too mainly, demanding an answer she already know out of me, saying that she can fix it with a good beat up.

I cried and was hurt because of that. Not because I am, but for the fact that even if I was, she wouldn't accept me. That it was only another thing for her to become violent about.

I'm sorry that she's on a rough path of her marriage with the step-douche, but yet again, it's too hard to live under the same roof as her, where you don't have the permission to do your own thing without her criticizing.

Pushing me to tell him that I miss him, I hope he comes back soon. Tell him that she is a strong and a good woman, that she had battled for everything and she's my role model. That I want to be just like her when I grow up.

I don't. I don't miss him, he's an asshole most times than don't, but he never let her raise her hand at me — at least when he was around. She can be a good person, to others. And she can be a good mother when she wants, but like we always say, the bad things overshine the good ones.

Because nothing can erase when you threw me out of the house with nothing but a bra and shorts. Nothing can erase the headlock she put me on and the despair I felt when you left me like that almost passing out without air entering my body. And right after that demanding me to clean the scratches that drew blood I made on your arm while I was fighting to breathe. That I am the guilty one because I didn't tell him the things you wanted me to.

He knows it would've been fake. But it wouldn't matter any way, because the moment he opened his mouth to tell her to stop asking me to say things, she would also get mad at me for not being convincing enough.

This marriage is in ruins not because of me. It's because she can't control herself.

Guiltripping me, saying that I'm a bad daughter, that I don't have enough empathy for you. That I rather focus on my studies to pass my last year of university, and stating she wouldn't let me do my test, and she would break my wrist as a way to prove herself.

Telling me I'm ungrateful, she gives me everything and I give her nothing in return. That I'm always cold, never asks how she's doing, how she feels. Never tells her anything. That I lack God in my heart.

I wonder why…

Telling me that my father left us to starve, when I had talked personally to his lawyer and she has proof that my mother is lying, and my dad never left us in any state of need.

But the way she tells me, it's like it's true. And yet again, I don't remember anything from my childhood. All the memories when I was in between 4 to 11 are more than gone.

And my father knows all about it. He's always the one in shit talking her every chance he gets. He's always telling me to tell him when she does it, that he will do something about it.

It's all bark and no bite.

Because if so, he wouldn't let the step-bitch walk over me. And even if he did get me out of here, he doesn't have anywhere for me to be. His other kids took over my old room, I had no space there.

Too much for being “the one he loves the most”, huh?

My grandparents do nothing but defend my mother's actions when she does that. And the paternal ones are dead. I don't have a space there, either.

I don't have money, I can't find a job, I can't pass an internship. My friends, even of how much they may love and care about, wouldn't be able to help me either way. The last time, it got so much worse.

I have nowhere to be.

I can only stay in this god forsaken house, hoping that tomorrow will be better than today.

But even with all of this, I can't help but feel like I'm a bad daughter. That I could've done something better. Even if I know that nothing would be good enough.

I'm just very tiring.

I do have trouble believing in a God, when my entire life I had to go through this. Brcause how good a God can be when he let this happen to me, and let bad and worse things happen to many others. What a shit God there is, then…

Because why she keeps winning, getting everything she wants when I have to live this misery bullshit.

That's just not fair. But then again, that's how the world is, right? The bad always get what they want.

#mommy issues #rant post #personal rant #spilled thoughts #daddy issues

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petitelepus · 11 months

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Ok I’ve been thinking about this for a while but what are sari and bots reaction to meeting Isaac business partner? She is always so serious, strict, and a clean freak. She looks young too because she looks to be a teenager and due to her petite high (5’3) but she either in her twenties or 18. She sometimes watch over sari but it’s really boring in sari option because she teaches her, make her clean everything, basically having her do her schedule she had made for her. But when the day came when sari had to move out of her home, she was waiting in Isaac chair while glaring at Powell and that other guy? (Is that his name? Forgot both of their names) and acted like a total badass! Not giving a shit about what they were saying and pointing out the crimes they have made (I tell ya what kinda crimes they attempted cuz i think it’s a lot more than that lol) but when Powell protested and both men threatened her, she did this https://youtu.be/CDJH7S4xSvA (low key deserved that lol and it’s based on that character X3)

You came from a very poor family with even fewer chances of making it out there in the world. Isaac Sumdac took you in when you were at your worst and helped you, taught you, and nurtured you into the person you were today.

The man had a heart made out of gold, but God he could be gullible. It was up to you to harden your heart and watch after this man who took you in when he wouldn't be able to watch after himself.

He swears he didn't teach you to become so cold but you insisted that it was needed to ensure the company's safe future.

Isaac was like an older brother to you so that made Sari your niece. You admit, you were a little cold and maybe that is why Sari so much liked to push your buttons or prank you, but you never hated her.

Of course, besides Isaac, you were the only one that knew about Sari's interesting past and birth.

But of course, he had his secrets he kept even from you... Like that huge robot head that turned out to be evil.

So when your business partner, friend, and brother went lost, you tried to keep the imperium he had built from shattering or worst, twisting into something he wouldn't recognize anymore when he would return.

Isaac had put his foot down that he would never manufacture weapons and you stuck to his words even when that sleazy Powell so smugly took over the business and cast you aside.

"Your services are no longer needed here." The man had said as he made his way to the chief's desk and made himself comfortable on the chair.

"I swear, if you do anything to hurt Sari or this business then I'm coming after you...!" You warned him, but the man had the nerve to laugh at you.

"Please, the girl has already been disposed of and it's just a matter of time before I can get rid of you also. Then nothing and now no one can stop me!"

You never wanted to punch someone so badly, and even more when you heard what he had done to Isaac's daughter, you were furious.

Taking over the company was one thing, but kicking your brother's own daughter out of her own home was outrageous!

"You son of a-!" You grabbed him and were about to punch him when he suddenly yelled, "Help! Someone, help, she has lost her mind!"

The doors to the office slammed open and some big goons, who no doubt belonged to Powell, rushed in and pulled you away from the businessman.

"Throw her out. She no longer works for the corporation."

You were hissing like a venomous snake as you were escorted out. Damn man, he had baited you and you had fallen for his trap like an idiot.

Soon you were there again, on the streets in the middle of a rainy night, but things were different now. It was your job to help your brother now and your niece. You took off your high heels and rushed to the Autobot base where Sari was with the hero Bots.

"A- Auntie?" Sari blinked as she got up and walked to you, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at Sumdac Tower?"

"I... No longer work there." You said and Sari frowned, "They threw me out..."

"I know... I'm so sorry Sari, I tried-!"

"Why there aren't any documents of me? Shouldn't there be something? Do I not exist? Am I... Am I even real?" She thought out loud as tears rose to her eyes and you felt your heart shatter.

It wasn't your job or right to tell her... So gently, you picked her up and hugged her close to your body.

"You are real. You're Sari Sumdac, daughter of Isaac Sumdac and my niece." You said as you pulled back and smiled sadly at her, "I have an apartment with an extra room if you want to come to live with me until we find your dad?"

"Wait, really?" Sari was dumbfounded. You had invited her over once and stopped there when she had declined, saying that it wouldn't be fun with a neat freak like you.

You smiled as you nodded again. "You can decorate it any way you want!"

"That's so kind!" Sari cheered as he jumped and hugged you, startling you since you weren't used to being touched like that... But then she pulled apart and shook her head.

"While I am thankful for your offer, I want to stay with Autobots." The young girl said as she glanced at her huge friends over her shoulder. "I think together we can find my dad!"

"I see." You nodded as you got up on your feet and started to straighten your suit and fix your appearance. You must have looked awful, running through the city in the rain without an umbrella.

"You have really grown into a fine young lady." You smiled at Sari, who wasn't used to hearing you compliment her or anyone really. It made her smile.

You looked at Autobots and nodded as you took out the stack of your business cards from inside your jacket and offered the dryest to the Autobot leader Optimus Prime.

"I trust her safety to you." You said and turned to address Sari one more time, "Don't worry, I'll come to visit you every day and I won't stop looking for your father."

"Auntie...!" Sari was amazed and you smiled as you turned to leave, but a sneeze caught you off guard. That's what you get for running in the rain.

"Uh, may I offer you a ride to your home?" Big green Bot, Bulkhead asked and you nodded, "If you are so kind?"

#creativesoultheskeletongirl #transformers #reader #transformers animated #tfa #sari sumdac #isaac sumdac #writing #my writing #Powell would taunt Reader to attack him and then call security on her #He is such a asshole #ENjoY!

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royaletiquette · 3 months

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continuing from | @dasmondkuss

He liked hotels, there was an easy and discreet place to have a meeting. In and out, a short and sweet discussion, exchange some money and call it a night. That was the plan, before he saw a tuft of hair and ever so vaguely familiar silhouette from a side-eye glance caught his attention. No one was ever supposed to know Hibiya was there, but it was an impulse too strong to control.

The conversation was light, enough for the king to allow his attention to drift and focus on the man in front of him than his words. He took note of all the changes, the added wrinkles and unfamiliar grey in Alois' hair. They were well placed, wondering how much stress had to do with it. The King wished he had come dressed differently, put on a different shirt and tighter pants, wore a sweeter cologne.

A glance at his watch was perhaps too obvious of his impatience, glad when Alois immediately fell for the bluff. Hibiya wasn't expecting much, a 'please' was all it took to satisfy him really, but Alois' apparent surge of confidence made his heart skip. He wasn't expecting to be held the way he was, melting into the kiss as he once used to. It was new and so distantly familiar, for a moment, bringing him back to that overwhelmed prince desperate for release.

He remained cautious enough to stay quiet, to stay put in the shadow despite wanting to push against him and toss themselves against whatever nearest furniture Hibiya could bend the man over. The hot breath on his lips sent him chills, being reminded of when and where they were, needing nothing more than a destination. "Show me to your room."

The elevator doors soon opened and Hibiya silently begged for what he knew wasn't the case. All it took was a quick glance in the corner for a disappointed sigh to slip out. "Fucking cameras," he grumbled under his breath, in part for Alois to hear, in case he had the same idea. Instead, he had to sit in his uncomfortable lust a minute longer, agitation not shying away from his face and tensing muscles.

There was the temptation to throw caution to the wind, say to hell with being seen, but he was alas not a twenty-something-year-old anymore. He had a wife and kids to keep him on track. At least, as long as he was in front of any open doors. The charade may have been for nothing but the idea of someone reviewing the security cameras so late in the night, but the act was finally dropped once he stepped into Alois' room.

The King threw himself against the older man with little regard to what may have been in the way preventing his body from being pinned between Hibiya's and the wall. Their groins were soon to follow their lips meeting, rolling his hips as his tongue did, wanting to taste any moan and sound of need that may escape. Hands were messy and aimless, first grabbing his jaw to ensure their kiss wouldn't be lost, then exploring his chest and back as much he could with clothes he didn't bother to push aside, and back to his hair to see if Hibiya was still able to get a good fistful.

"Show me how else you've changed, Alois." He spoke up after parting their lips just to admire the other man once again. His eyes danced across new and forgotten lines on Alois' face as it twisted in pleasure, still grinding in hips in a way that made sure they were both perfectly aware of how impatient Hibiya was. "Any new scars and places you like to be touched?" Both hands moved to unlatch Alois' belt, shoving down his pants and everything with it as he continued. Hibiya's own pleasure and excitement revealed itself through shakey breaths he couldn't control. "Or must I rediscover your body myself?"

He was mesmerized studying the writer, the murderer. It felt like he was given a second chance to redo their first meeting, how he wished to if he had the confidence to back then. Instead of struggling just to focus his thoughts, Hibiya submitted to them. He was ready to drop to his knees and choke himself on a view he dreamed of reliving.

#herhehrher #mainly responding for hibiya to be annoyed LOL #dasmondkuss #v: the future held hope }here's looking at you #alois is so romantic about it #and hibiya is very not lol #ignoring that romance. straight up refusing it #no feelings here thanks #I HOPE I DONT SOUND LIKE HIBIYAS LIKE #damn look how old and wrinkly you are aldkfjgjdsa #hes just admiring him

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thesistersarcheron · 2 years

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Pairings: poly!Cassian/Nesta/Azriel, Feyre/Rhysand Ratings: E Words: ~8k Catch up on tumblr (prologue, chapter i, chapter ii, chapter iii, chapter iv, chapter v), or read here on AO3!

Summary It is well known across Prythian that High Fae mating bonds are a sacred union between two souls. Lesser fae mating bonds, more common yet less studied than their High Fae counterparts, are bound by an entirely different set of rules.

After the ball in the Hewn City, Nesta and Cassian swore to each other that there would be no one else. Ever. They didn’t account for Azriel.

Rhys pushed his chair back from his desk.

"I didn't beat the shit out of him. I threw snowballs full of ice at him, and he threw rocks back at me." He thumbed a spot on his jaw, a black scowl written on his face. "And I wouldn't have to resort to such childish measures if you and Nesta would get over yourselves."

Cassian burned with the urge to fight, to punch and grapple and go for blood. He barely restrained himself as he bit out one word.

"What."

"Azriel. I caught him the night before Solstice trying to get into Elain's bed while you were in Nesta's," Rhys imparted this news with a snarl that bared his teeth at Cassian, every word dripping with venom. His eyes glittered, and Cassian could read a smug, silent See? Now can you beat his ass with me? in them.

Cassian swallowed back his own fire while he took another loud bite of the apple. He chewed slowly, giving the bloodthirst in Rhys's gaze a chance to cool. When it didn't, he double-checked his mental shields and held up a placating hand.

"Rhys, he's been panting after Elain for years now."

Rhys's tattooed hand slammed onto the desktop, an ear-splitting CRACK cleaving the air—and, Cassian saw, the desk's wooden veneer. "Exactly!"

Mother's tits.

Dark waves of power poured off his brother's back. Rhys stood and prowled around the ruined desk, baring down on him, but Cassian didn't bother to push himself up from his lazy sprawl across the loveseat. If Rhys wanted a fight, he would get it, but Cassian needed to keep his head about him if he wanted to get anything out of Rhys when he was in a mood like this.

"Elain already has a fucking mate," Rhys growled.

His brother's words were hard, cruel, and didn't contain a hint of true compassion for Elain or Lucien. The unchecked arrogance dug irritating claws into the nods of Cassian's spine; the pompous entitlement never failed to make him want to duel with Rhys as they did as younglings. He let the flames of that anger burn bright and hot for just a moment, and then he let it chill, imagining Nesta's cool, silver flames washing that heat away.

"We all know Lucien isn't getting anywhere with her."

Rhys held up a single, self-righteous finger that shook with rage. “I don’t give a shit about Lucien Vanserra.”

The temptation to snap that finger off was strong, and Cassian found himself idly imagining what he might do if Rhys were only a few feet closer. He flipped the thought around in his mind like he might the hilt of his sword in battle, desperate to shake off some of the excess energy rattling his bones.

He shrugged. "Why not Az, if that's what they want?"

"'Why not Az?'" Rhys repeated, more to himself than Cassian. He chuckled with droll disbelief, as if the world was upside down and he was the only one left upright. A hand still shaking with fury combed through Rhys's hair before he made tight fists of both and shoved them deep into his pockets. "Why not Az, Cass? Really?"

“Why not, Rhys? What's your issue with him?" Cassian set aside his half-eaten apple and returned his feet to the floor, bracing himself. "Say it."

Another consciousness brushed against his mind, razor-tipped talons prodding at Cassian's shields of sinew and bone and Illyrian steel. They were gentle, almost heartbreakingly so, and at complete odds with the ferocious power still rippling off Rhys in waves of darkness. There were no playful stars to be found in that midnight-blackness tonight.

Cassian didn't open for them.

His brother sneered, looking out the window in the direction of the House of Wind with unforgiving eyes. "Azriel already has fucking mates."

The bonds pulled taut as if they knew they were the topic of conversation, and Cassian stroked down the golden one, feeling for the soul at the other end. Sleeping, deeply, just as he and Azriel left her after he helped her change into a warm nightgown. The other, insubstantial and yet-unsnapped, remained just beyond his reach.

Cassian took a breath and spoke words that reopened wounds that had just barely begun to scab over in the past few weeks. "So? If Az wants to sleep around—"

Rhys squared his shoulders.

"Setting aside the fact that Elain is Feyre's sister..." Another pulse of magic, and Rhys's mental voice reverberated against Cassian's shields. My mate. His High Lady. "And the fact that he could very well call the Autumn Court down on our heads, Azriel wants to do more than sleep around."

Cassian kept silent, his eyes locked on Rhys. Where had this brotherly concern been for Nesta a year ago? Where had it been just weeks ago, when the same arrogant piece of shit who once left Mor to die in slow agony amongst the rotting leaves bartered for Nesta's hand?

Rhys made a face and spat the next words out like a particularly shocking sip of turned wine, "He's obsessed with her."

The wounds opened deeper, and Cassian shoved the fresh hurt down. He thought whatever Elain and Azriel had was simple lust brought on more by proximity and friendship than any deeper, emotional entanglement, but if Az was still determined to chase Elain's skirts after what he did with Nesta last night... If he wanted more than that...

It would get messy.

Bloody.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. If Nesta still didn't detect any bond after last night, then he doubted Azriel felt anything at all. But what would she do if she knew about it? If she knew Azriel was her mate and that he might still want her little sister?

Suddenly, he remembered with shocking clarity how Elain and Nesta worked together so seamlessly to rid the King of Hybern of his head. At the time, he had been wildly impressed and madly in love and suffering from extreme blood loss. Now, though...

Shit.

Cassian sighed, turning back the covers of the bed he had made and preparing to lie in it.

"And you know this because...?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter." Rhys removed one hand from a pocket and slicing it dismissively through the air. The darkness fell away, and the gentle lamplight was blinding as it came back into focus. "Their little flirtation has gone on for months, and I was fool enough to let it. I thought he would move on when he realized..."

"It does matter, Rhys," The correction was sharp, and Cassian ignored the warning look his High Lord flashed at him. He grit his teeth. "It does matter, even if he doesn't move on. Even if he never realizes it."

Rhys picked a bit of lint off his sleeve and flicked it away. "Cass..."

Cassian shook his head. "No. 'To defend, to honor, to cherish.' Your words. Your Court of Dreams. You used to trust Azriel, Rhys. You used to let him get away with murder. What happened to that?"

His shoulders were tight, and the furious indignation building beneath his breastbone made it hard to breathe. Whether it was at Rhys's obvious surveillance of Azriel or some deeper betrayal... He didn't know. His Siphons began to glow, casting crimson light that slashed across the shelves lining the room in harsh, uneven lines.

"Azriel has become a threat to this entire court, and he doesn't just have a duty to this court now. He has a duty to you. Setting aside the situation with Autumn, what part of taking Elain to bed at your expense, at Nesta's or Elain's, is honorable?" Disgust etched itself onto Rhys's features, and he waved a hand at Cassian. "To defend: What kind of brother would I be to you or to them if I let that happen?"

Cassian scoffed.

"I need defending now? Are you also going to stand there and tell me you cherish Nesta, too?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "You know, I seem to recall three months of listening to you agonize over your mate when she chose to marry another male, but you didn't insert yourself in that situation until she asked."

"That was different," Rhys said.

"You're right, it is. Feyre called for help. She needed you." Cassian leaned forward and let loose his own power, let the ancient Illyrian killing force settle over his tensed muscles, let his Siphons paint his face with blood. Let Rhys see the Lord of Bloodshed. "I didn't, and I don't."

"And the Autumn Court? What about that, General?"

"I think if you read the threat assessment Azriel and I ran on Lucien Vanserra, you would know it points to one thing: a reluctance to act. He can't even ask Elain to court him properly, but you think he'll challenge the Shadowsinger of the Night Court to a Blood Duel over her?"

"We can't take that chance. We don't have the resources for war with another court after Hybern, not with Koschei and Briallyn on the horizon. You of all people should know that."

"But you took that chance with the Spring Court when you kidnapped their lady."

"And now we're on the other side of that war, the Spring Court is in shambles, and we need Autumn to help bring Tamlin into line!" Rhys's eyes were hard, and he gestured at Cassian. "What of Az, Cassian? After he kills Elain's mate and tears out a bit of her soul in an effort to win her heart when he can't even fight his own battles now?"

"That's different."

Rhys retreated to his desk, tracing a carefully disinterested finger along the crack in the surface. "Oh?"

Cassian bared his teeth in a feral grin.

"He's my mate," he snarled. "I get to fight for him."

Rhys was quiet for a long moment, staring at the painting of Feyre hung behind his desk.

"When did you figure it out?"

With Rhys a safe distance from him, Cassian leaned back in his seat, thinking. He had first felt it, in retrospect, when Azriel sunk his teeth into Nesta's throat over Cassian's mark, and Cassian wanted to seal his lips to Azriel's and share the sweet-salt taste of Nesta's skin between them instead of slaughtering the nervy bastard. He was certain, though, that he would find a million more moments just like it if he tried.

But when did he consciously know? When Nesta curled into Azriel afterward without pushing him away, and the faintest hint of a new-old bond latched onto Cassian's ribcage as he sat breathless and stunned in the aftermath.

He shrugged. “Last night.”

Dull violet eyes stared blankly at Cassian for one long, interminable moment. Slowly, so slowly he thought Rhys might be fighting off some sort of nausea or dizziness, his brother melted back into his desk chair, tendons in his neck stretching and joints cracking as he leaned back so far that Cassian couldn't read his lips when he muttered something like un-fucking-believable. Rhys covered his face with a hand, pressing his fingertips hard into the eye sockets. He opened and closed his mouth once, twice, mulling over his words before he finally spoke.

“Five hundred years taking home the same females and not once—”

Cassian stared, unimpressed. “More like one-fifty, one-seventy-five, all totaled up. Thanks for that, High Lord.”

Rhys took one look at Cassian, who watched as a terrible, hysterical laugh bubbled out of his brother.

"I'm not taking the blame for that. Your female wouldn't be alive for centuries, and you have no clue the filth Montesere and the Autumn Court kept threatening to print—”

"What was there to expose? More Night Court debauchery? I'd think that would work in our favor—”

"Because you reacted so graciously when Nesta was the target of trash journalism," Rhys countered, quick and sharp as a whip cracking through the air, and Cassian bristled at the memory. "I was trying to assassinate my father's old Darkbringer commanders—”

"And we both know a female's not necessary to snap an Illyr—"

"And install you and Az as my General Commander and Spymaster at the time, if you remember correctly—”

His brother cut himself off with a snort, a loud, unflattering sound that Cassian was sure Rhys had only ever made around Azriel and himself. Tears of mirth shone in the corners of his eyes.

"Oh, right. You and Az were always so romantic when it came to fucking one another."

"Dammit, Rhysand, shut up." Cassian breathed hard, but his burning lungs wouldn't fill. Feyre couldn't practice her magic for a few more months, but maybe Rhys had finally done something to piss her off enough to suck the air from the room and suffocate them both. “How did you know? How long have you known?”

He clenched his fists, knowing... knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop himself if Rhys gave an unsatisfactory answer; his perception of time had shifted after a few centuries, decades turning to years, years turning to days, days turning to a drop in their bottomless well of life, but even Cassian knew he wouldn't be able to forgive anything more than a few months. A few years, at most. His wings shifted, opened, and the muscles in his legs felt like coiled springs, ready to launch him across the room.

Rhys held up both hands in a conciliatory gesture and then waved toward his temple with one, old shorthand for something between I have eyes and I am a daemati, you useless fucking doorknob.

“Did you know..." He paused, swallowing back the last of his humor, and his face turned serious. "Did you know that Azriel beat the shit out of me for threatening Nesta that day before Feyre arrived to finish what he started? Fully feral. I had to crawl into his mind like a damn cockroach to get through his shields and convince him to stop. I didn’t touch the memory, but I don’t think he remembers it any of it. That's when I first guessed.”

Something bright and warm clicked into place. Concern for Az beat steadily in time with his heart, for what might happen to the male who always defended those he loved so ferociously when he was faced with a mating bond, but...

Perhaps it was his Illyrian blood talking, some instinctual remnant from their evolution eons ago...

But for a brief, blinding second, the walls of worry in his mind, the ones that grew taller and deeper with every encounter Nesta had with kings and Cauldrons, kelpies and undead armies, Lanthys and the Trove, Briallyn and Koschei... Those walls collapsed entirely, and he felt only relief that his mate, his Nes, would have an extra layer of protection bonded to her in the form of Azriel Shadowsinger.

That that extra layer of protection came at the cost of Nesta and himself protecting Azriel from his own enemies and reckless impulses in return, well... Cassian couldn't deny that he felt a sense of relief there too, knowing he would never need any other excuse to follow Azriel into danger again.

Rhys's eyes went soft, and a polite wall of cool adamant pushed gently at the edge of that relief. Cassian blinked, and Rhys removed the wall, leaning back into his chair as Cassian forced himself to relax and rebuild his mental shields.

When he was finished, Rhys nodded in thanks and continued. “So I had my suspicions. They were confirmed when you handed Nesta off to him without a second thought at the ball after very nearly going feral yourself over Eris. You nearly challenged the courtiers watching them to a duel."

Cassian nodded silently, thoughfully, casting his mind back to that night, when he had been struck by how beautiful they were together. How cutthroat his thoughts had been before Rhys cut in, imagining what he might do if any Court of Nightmares swell possessed the nerve to ask her for a dance and separate them.

Having reined in his temper, Cassian looked around the room and imagined what spectacular feat Az must have managed when he was feral to make Rhys feel like a cockroach. If it were anything like his fight with Eris at the High Lords' summit before the war.

When he cast his eyes to the corner behind the desk, where the edge of one shelf was dented, Rhys winced.

Cassian whistled, low and impressed in spite of himself. “Shit.”

Rhys raised a judgmental brow at him.

Too judgmental.

Cassian crossed his arms. "Which of us fell in love with a human who'd just bathed herself in wyrm shit?"

"You didn't see the bone javelin. Completely untrained, broken arm, perfect form." The fond tug at the corners of Rhys's smug mouth didn't fade as he said, “I hope you realize you’re going to spend his mating frenzy locked in the damn cabin.”

If there was a mating frenzy...

Still, Cassian couldn't help himself. "I think he'd prefer a dungeon, if we're planning for locks and chains."

Rhys barely smothered another ugly, sinus-clearing snicker behind a hand. "Done. Don't wake the beasts and the Hewn City is yours for the week."

"I can't make that deal with you, brother," Cassian said. Indeed, between Nesta's sweet noises, her unholy power, and the strange fondness Azriel inspired in the monsters by being the only one to feed them, the beasts beneath the dungeons would be up and crawling at his mates' feet in a heartbeat.

His mates.

Quiet came over the study as he thought about them. About what they might become, all three of them, if they ever became anything at all.

His blood still raced, his temper a carefully controlled burn, but he wouldn't find his fight here unless he challenged Rhys to a round in the ring, and Rhys...

Well, he watched as his brother understood the silence as a ceasefire, and Rhys's head slowly dropped until it was pressed to the desktop, exhaustion written across every slack line of his body. He would make a lousy opponent, distracted and tired as he was.

It was he who eventually broke their silence, speaking as if all the weight of their brotherhood bore down upon him. "I am so godsdamned disappointed in you right now, Cass. Five hundred years?"

“Mhmm," Cassian pushed himself to his feet and tossed his apple into the wastebasket across the room. "Back at you.”

Rhys lifted his head, violet eyes suddenly alert and locked on Cassian.

"You're stressed, and you're tired, and you're making bad calls. Bad calls, Rhys. Between Feyre, and Nesta, and Az..." Rhys's lip curled, accusatory, and Cassian held up a hand before he could retort. "No, no. I went along with it. I let you make those calls, and I supported them. The difference is that I can see they're tearing us apart."

He crossed the room.

"They are, Rhys. You asked me once to call it like I see it, so I'm calling it. The Night Court may not be suffering yet, but the Court of Dreams is. Mor is burnt out from dealing with Vallahan and surveilling the Queens' palace without any aid. Amren has been just as vicious and vitriolic as Nesta since losing her power, but unlike Nesta, she's completely unchecked."

Rhys grimaced, and Cassian nodded decisively.

"You're also forgetting that Azriel doesn't have a duty to Nesta and me, not if he doesn't choose to, and the same can be said for Elain. Nesta... Nesta lives in terror of returning to Velaris proper like any one of the priestesses under that House, and your mate..."

Rhys snarled, quietly, softly, but there was no fight left in it.

"Then what do I do, Cass?" Rhys cast his eyes over the stack of books and papers on his desk, and Cassian saw anatomical diagrams, sketches of wings and pregnant bodies. "What do I do?"

Cassian sighed. There was no answer for that, not yet, but there was one thing he could offer Rhys.

"Stop the self-sacrificial bullshit—you already died for us once—and let us help you. You don't pay us to train all day and look pretty, so get your shit together and then delegate, High Lord. But keep it up, and I'm binding your wings and hauling you back to Windhaven like a runaway youngling."

Rhys's fingers tapped over the medical diagrams to a stack of papers atop an Illyrian leather satchel, all windbeaten and weathered from the journey into Velaris. Cassian snatched it up and away.

"Good. I'll let Az know to expect Nuala and Cerridwen with whatever reports you're keeping from him tomorrow afternoon, and they will organize with Mor. Now..."

Cassian tidied the papers and tucked them under his arm, reaching out to clasp Rhys's shoulder with one hand.

“The bonds might not have snapped yet, but as Az’s fucking mate..." He tightened his grip on Rhys's shoulder and bent low over his cracked desk, flaring his wings. Rhys's hands curled into fists, his own wings twitching open in response. “And as Nesta’s fucking mate. Back the fuck off.”

He executed a perfect about face and marched for the door.

“How are you going to tell Nesta?” Rhys asked.

Cassian paused beside a decorative pedestal next to the door. He lifted a blown-glass orb off of it, some useless trinket pilfered from the shops in the Rainbow, and tested its weight. It was pretty, flecked with bits of silver that looked like constellations, and he'd put money down that it was Rhys or Feyre's star map.

He spun and hurled it at Rhys’s head.

And the orb disintegrated into dust with one lazy wave of Rhys’s hand, as anticipated.

He didn't bother to stifle the growl that clawed out of his throat. “I say this with all the love in the world, brother: Back. Off.”

When he finally made his way out, Feyre was in the hallway in leggings and one of Rhys's faded old shirts, her hair mussed and a hand bracing her rounded belly. Her eyes were bleary, offering up no doubt that they had woken her, either with their noise or some other disturbance through the bond she shared with Rhys.

Suddenly, Cassian felt very, very guilty.

"Cass? What's all this? Is Nesta alright?"

He took her by the shoulders, dropped a kiss on top of her head, and slipped past. "Everything's fine, Fey."

"But..."

Cassian shook his head.

"Everything's fine. I promise."

Cassian was in his office chewing on a crust of bread when Nesta entered and shut the door behind her, leaning back against it. She was already in her leathers, ready for training, and she looked shellshocked.

He set aside the paltry remnants of his breakfast blindly and pushed away the tedious paperwork from the Blood Rite Commission.

"Nesta?"

Pale eyes, more silver than blue this morning, stared back. She didn't respond, only furrowed her brow at him.

Raw anxiety tightened his throat. Cassian rose from his chair, his arms already reaching for her, and he tucked his wings, approached slowly, cautiously.

Was this it?

Had he been too hasty turning a fantasy to reality? He knew—he knew, dammit—the habit Nesta made of divorcing intimacy from sex; hell, after the last few months he'd say he knew it better than she did. Now, with a secondary bond in play and sand dripping down through the hourglass...

Mother damn it all, she still scented of Azriel. Any priestess with a nose who came within five paces of her during training would know something happened.

His mind raced, spiraling further and faster with each turn, until all that was left was a horrified chorus: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

His own voice, distant, from a thousand paces, asked, "What's going on, Nes?"

But instead of shoving him away, she melted into his embrace. A soft hand curled around his bicep.

"The sheets smelled like Azriel this morning."

Her words carried a mix of emotions that echoed down the bond. He felt the molded, rotting thread of disgust with her fae physiology, the same that made an appearance every morning as she carefully avoided touching her pointed ears when she pinned up her hair. Discomfort borne from vulnerability tugged at his heartstrings for the first time in weeks, likely from falling asleep so sweetly in front of Azriel; it felt just as it had for months when he was its target.

And there, beneath it all, a curious sort of calm waited patiently.

"He laid down with us for a few minutes last night. Wanted to make sure you got to sleep okay," he told her, tracing the long center seam of her leathers down her back. "Is that okay, sweetheart?"

Nesta was quiet for a long moment, her face buried in his chest, and he imagined he could feel the cogs ticking of her mind ticking against his breastbone.

"Is it okay with you?" she finally asked, and for once her voice was so small and uncertain it made him want to... Hell, he didn't know. Fight a hundred wars. Buy her a thousand Symphonias. Build a bookshelf for every room and fill them to bursting with her tawdry romances. Spend his last coin commissioning a music hall unlike anything Prythian had ever seen for her where they could dance to live music every night.

He didn't hesitate. "Yeah, Nes. Az and I have shared plenty of tents and bedrolls over the years."

She had been fast asleep by the time Azriel deemed her fit to move. It was as Cassian said: Az stayed until he was sure she remained asleep through the transition from his lap to their bed, where he ensured she was warm and snugly cocooned beneath Cassian's wings before disappearing into the shadows.

The shadowsinger's diligence in taking care of his partners, making sure they came down gently and safely, was the stuff of quiet legend in the nightlife district of Velaris. It was why Cassian felt comfortable letting Azriel take over last night, though truthfully, he had been too shellshocked himself to do much more than hand them a blanket and follow Az's direction.

"But not with..."

Cassian buried his nose in Nesta's hair, seeking out whatever calm he might find in the scent of her lavender soap. He knew the two words she avoided saying, the label she tiptoed around. It gutted him every time.

And thinking of being gutted brought him right back around to thinking about Azriel.

Another loud, resounding fuck ricocheted off the walls of his mental shield. Rhys had been right; he had no clue how to tell Nesta, no clue how to introduce her to the intricacies of Illyrian mating bonds that he thought his Made mate wouldn't trigger, but he needed to do it before the bond with Az fell into place for her.

"I'm sure Az enjoyed the switch up. I've been accused of hogging the bedroll plenty."

Finally, she pulled back to look at him, dislodging him from her braid.

"No, you still hogged the blankets last night, so I think Az and I can agree on that," she said. A slight smirk played about her mouth; although he knew her teeth and tongue were wickedly sharp behind it, her eyes gleamed with something kinder, something someone less familiar might miss entirely.

Like he'd flown into a mountainside, everything stopped. The lingering panic drained, and Cassian's mind went quiet, calm, and he loosed a relieved breath that carried the tension from his shoulders out with it. He bent his head to kiss that smirk.

Nesta poked him in the side. "You know, I hadn't pegged him for a cuddler."

"He's usually not," Cassian said with a huff of laughter, removing his lips from the corner of her mouth. "But I'm guessing that's a point in our book. I told you he liked you, didn't I?"

Nesta pursed her lips. "So you didn't even ask?"

He bit his lip. No, there had been no words between them, aside from what was needed to arrange her comfortably in bed.

"No."

Nesta shoved him off with a dramatic sigh, rolling her eyes. She picked up a crumpled sheet of paper from the floor beside his desk and threw it at his head. Laughing, he snatched it out of the air.

"Was he still in his leathers?" Her nose wrinkled, clearly thinking of the mess she'd made of them. Her eyes went distant, dark, and the twinge of desire down the golden thread between them left Cassian no doubt that she was breathtaking conclusion of her night.

Hell, about every five or so minutes, he found his mind drifting off to think of it, too. He prided himself in making her come entirely undone, but he had never seen her do that. Still, to bring it up now would either embarrass her or make them late for training.

Instead, he simply mimed tapping his Siphons, shaking his head. "Just his civvies."

"What, so he only leaves the leathers on while he—"

"Oh yes, Nes." Cassian spun the ball of paper into the air and caught it again. Anything to redirect the blood he felt making its way south at Nesta's curious look. "He tends to do that."

Bright, white teeth sunk into Nesta's bottom lip, and Cassian groaned. In two steps he was beside her, herding her with an arm around her waist, until he was once again sprawled in his seat, this time with his pretty mate—just one of his pretty mates, he thought rather deliriously—perched on his lap.

Her eyes were looking around his office curiously, wordlessly, and he followed that gaze. She rarely came in here, likely because he rarely came in here, preferring to buckle down and power through paperwork and correspondence on a balcony or rooftop in the open air. The walls were lined with a veritable treasure trove of weapons that had come into his possession over the centuries, some ceremonial and gleaming, others heavily nicked and dull after years of brutal use. Several burnt-out crimson Siphons were framed on a shelf behind his head alongside a score of medals and awards; dim and cracked, they were utterly useless, but the damn things still held sentimental value.

He bounced the leg she was sitting on and squeezed her waist. "See anything you want to try out, Valkyrie?"

She shifted on his lap, clearly remembering the last one she was settled upon.

"Maybe." Her gaze met his again, and she traced a slim finger around the collar of his leathers. Then, her attention shifted, her smirk shifting into interested, sharklike intent. "Is that a mace?"

Cassian chuckled. "You'll have to increase your weight training if you want to use that, sweetheart."

Nesta nodded thoughtfully, looking around again, and he had no doubt she intended to do just that, if only to prove she could. He watched as her eyes caught on a set of hunting knives styled vaguely after Truth-Teller—a full decade of Azriel's sly Solstice gag-gifts after he found the dagger and became inseparable with it.

"I know you're jealous," he had rasped each year with an affectionate hand on Truth-Teller's hilt. "So just in case you were planning anything..."

Cassian took a bracing breath.

"What did you think of it? Last night?"

"Last night?" Nesta tilted her head until it rested on his shoulder. He could feel her stiffening beneath his hands, and the breath tickling his throat was too even. Mind-stilling. "I enjoyed it."

Cassian held back his sigh, willing himself to relax. Not to jump to conclusions like he wanted to. Reticence was the name of the game with his Nes. With Azriel, too.

"How are you feeling about it today, sweetheart? About Az?"

"Fine," she said, shrugging. "I'm only sorry I fell asleep."

Cassian chuckled with disbelief. "Sorry? Nes, I think that's the best compliment you could have paid Az last night." He would be surprised if Azriel weren't unbearably smug about wearing Nesta out so thoroughly during training this morning.

An elegant fist made contact with his chest, and Cassian pretended to be winded by the hit, catching Nesta's hand and pressing his lips to her reddened knuckles.

"I meant to say he's been in a better mood lately, but sometimes he still looks so morose. I could practically feel it he was when he first walked in on us last night," she said. "I wanted to know why."

That was... heartening, Cassian thought. As he felt it, though, he realized how utterly useless their plan was now that Rhys had come clean about his tampering in Azriel and Elain's affairs.

Affair?

Cassian curled his fingers around Nesta's hand, seeking what comfort he could.

"I told you it would be slow going with him, and I don't think one night of pillow talk would make much of a difference. But..." He leaned back until she sat up, meeting his eyes. He wouldn't keep this truth from her, at the very least. "I don't think we need to keep pursuing getting answers from him that way, sweetheart. I saw Rhys this morning, and he told me what happened between them. It's been dealt with."

Disappointment flooded the bond, drowning out Cassian's lingering satisfaction at the memory of throwing that orb at Rhys's head. It was followed by a wave of taut, unsettled worry.

"Well? What is it?" Nesta asked.

And as if sticky, acrid tar coated his throat, the words wouldn't come.

Nesta deserved to know. She would want to know. He had learned that hard lesson from the vote over letting her know about the Made weapons.

But she couldn't even acknowledge their own bond, reciprocated and golden as it was, regardless of how adept she was becoming at using it to communicate with him. What would learning that she likely had a second preparing to latch onto her? Learning she had not a mystical, civilized High Fae bond like her sisters, but an Illyrian bond—primal, untamed, and indecent, according to popular thought... What would that do to her?

What would it do to Az, if he were rejected before his bond fully manifested? From the moment he met Nesta, Cassian knew she was his mate, and the memory of rejection after rejection still tore at him, even as she sat on his lap, their souls as entwined as their hands, her heart promised to him. How would he take it if Rhys and Azriel were both happily mated, and he were the one on the outside looking in, his soul dragging him toward his brother's mate? If she had rejected his bond before he knew it existed?

Did it make him a horrible male to keep it to himself a little longer?

He pressed another kiss to her hand and said, "Nes, if I knew it wouldn't hurt someone, I would tell you. But I can't right now."

Silver flickered in her pale eyes, and the temperature of the air surrounding them dropped by several degrees as she asked sharply, "Someone? Who?"

"Someone," Cassian said. He curled a warm hand around the back of her neck, the only bit of skin peeking out of her leathers aside from her hands and face. Her skin was cold. "Maybe Az. Maybe... someone else. I don't know."

Soon. Soon. He would find a way to ease her into it and tell her soon.

He had to.

Still, he felt like a coward.

Nesta's mouth turned down in a moue of displeasure, and he pulled her closer to him as the temperature dropped again.

But, for now... He cleared his throat.

"You know, we don't need an excuse to do it again, right?" he asked. Silver eyes turned toward him, and he holds her close, doing his best to convey something approaching a sense of calm. "We can just do it, if everyone wants to."

Nesta thought for a moment, and he gave that time to her in quiet understanding, and then the corners of her lips curled up slightly. Just slightly, but it made the new-old bond pull gratefully in his chest nevertheless.

"Well, if it won't give two ancient old bats any heart attacks..." she teased. Cassian jostled her again, and she laughed.

He committed the sound to memory, and then lifted her off his lap, unable to resist giving her pert backside a playful slap as she turned.

Nesta glared.

He smiled back. "We can talk about this more later. Go get some breakfast, Archeron. We have training in fifteen."

When Nesta rounded the corner into the dining room, she found Azriel already at the table, facing the window with his back toward her. He was slicing a bit of fried ham with expert precision.

"Come in, Nesta. I'm not going to bite," Azriel said, turning his head just slightly so she could see the barest hint of amusement in the corners of his eyes.

His voice was quiet, solemn as ever, and utterly lacking the authority he had used on her last night. Still, she could remember the hard edge to it, the feeling of his fist in her braid, his fingers torturing her so slowly while she held him in her palm...

Nesta swallowed, mentally grasping the last of her jangling nerves with one hand and strangling them.

He spread his wings as she came up behind him, keeping them carefully out of reach.

"I don't know about that," she said tartly. "I have the bruise to prove it."

The shadows fluttering around Azriel's wings froze in the air.

"Still?"

His voice was quiet, firm... Assessing.

Nesta, standing just behind his chair, folded her hands together atop his head and rested her chin on them. His scarred hands were as frozen as his shadows, clutching the knife and fork on either side of his plate so hard his knuckles were white.

"I heal quickly, but not as quickly as Illyrians," she told him. "Especially when two of them bite me in the same spot."

The only sign Azriel heard her was the sound of a sudden, quick breath from beneath her.

"Don't worry, it's hidden under my collar," she said, sinking her fingers into his short, dark hair. "Where did you get the cherries?"

Azriel's head tilted upward at her careful non-sequitur, as if he was trying to meet her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"The other day. You were eating cherries, but it's the middle of winter."

She scratched her nails along his scalp, and the wing to her right shuddered before going stiff and still, but Azriel's shadows started swirling again. She tightened her lips to hide her smile.

Turnabout was fair play, after all.

"So where did you get them?"

Azriel's shoulders were tense, but a glance downward told her his eyes were closed before he blinked them open and said, "The Summer Court, obviously."

"Obviously," Nesta agreed, drawing little circles and stars with her fingertips. "But the Summer Court barely trades with the Night Court now."

Az let go of the utsensils, arranging them in a perfect, polite formation on his plate for a mid-meal pause that pleased Nesta to see. So few faeries had good manners.

"How do you know that?"

She shrugged, blowing a bit of air at a tendril of shadow that wiggled in front of her face. "I am one of the Night Court's emissaries. I try to keep up."

Not entirely true. She read what she could when she came across a newspaper, availed herself of more than just the romances stored in the High Lord's personal library, and listened whenever Rhys and Feyre deigned to discuss state matters in front of her, but she had been persona non-grata for over a year.

But lately, Cassian had been up in arms that the Illyrians couldn't get enough salt to cure their meats, and the Night Court couldn't keep up with demand without the sea salt that Summer could provide.

Azriel made an impressed noise of assent and said, "I have a friend in Adriata."

"So you got the cherries from a friend in the Summer Court," Nesta confirmed, though she was uncertain whether Azriel's friend was an informant... or just a friend. He didn't seem to have many companions outside of the Night Court's Inner Circle, though she supposed she didn't either. "Where are you hiding them?"

"Where am I hiding them?" This time, the amusement was clear in Azriel's voice, and a short, dry huff of silent laughter followed his words.

"I asked the House and it couldn't find any cherries. It just kept bringing me a dusty old jar of candied cherries."

Over and over again, until Nesta threw up her hands in defeat, and the House turned that jar of cherries into a decadent cherry-chocolate gateau in apology.

"That's because I ate them all, Nesta." Azriel's wings and shoulders trembled, the sight pulling at Nesta until she was smiling too. Still, she plucked a dark hair from his scalp as payment for his laughter at her expense, and a scarred hand lifted to catch her wrist. He pulled it downward, toward the knife on his plate. "Your interrogation techniques haven't improved much. Might I offer you something more efficient?"

"Yes, well, the master has been too busy to teach me," she sniped, flicking the knife away.

His grasp on her gentled and then let go entirely as she reached for his plate instead, eyes locked on a half-eaten pastry. Poor manners or not, it was the only croissant in sight, and he owed her more than the hair she let drift to the floor.

"Do you like fresh cherries, Nes?"

Nesta tilted her head, resting her cheek on Azriel's soft waves. She lowered her voice to a confidential whisper. "They're my favorite fruit."

A shadow reached out, wavering in front of her face until she nodded at it. It drew a line down her nose.

"Mine too. I'll ask my friend for extra next time we speak."

Nesta smiled, biting into the croissant. Little flakes drifted down into Azriel's black hair, only to be whisked away by an irate shadow.

A sharp whistle broke the silence.

"Archeron." Cassian stood in the doorway, and when she glanced up, he jerked his chin toward the stairs. He paused, shooting a strange look at Azriel, who had stilled again. "You too, shadowsinger."

Nesta was still panting for breath after training, her aching limbs overheated and wobbly as gelatin in her leathers, as she followed the priestesses back down the stairs that led into the heart of the mountain. She was halfway to the entrance to the House when an arm wound itself around her shoulders. Her knees nearly buckled under the added weight.

"Steady there, Archeron," Cassian's voice husked in her ear, and his arm shifted from her shoulders to her waist. "You did good today."

"I didn't end up in a pit today, you mean," she said, casting a hard look at him.

No, she hadn't ended up in a pit. She ended up tangled in some horrible, elevated rope contraption, like a fly in a spider's web, for ten minutes before Emerie figured out how to get them across as a group.

She found herself slightly less inclined to drag him to one of their bedrooms after training these days.

Cassian chuckled and smacked a kiss on her temple. "I need to go to lllyria for a few days. Come with me?"

"A few days..." Nesta said, buying herself some time as her mind raced. "I think I've heard that one before."

That horrible place, full of cocky warriors stuffed with machismo until it spilled from their ears? She couldn't see why Cassian liked it so much, why he defended them even though she had only ever seen him spurned and insulted. Emerie's insistence on staying, too, baffled her, after those same males clipped her wings and stole her ability to fly.

A fresh course of shame flooded her as she remembered that she had been one of those insulting Cassian the last time she had visited. Her reaction to the Inner Circle's entire botched intervention was fair enough, she thought, but she felt some guilt that Cassian's reputation may have suffered for it, knowing now how hard he had to work to gain any ground in Windhaven.

"Come on, Nes," Cassian ushered her through the door and into the long hallway of the House, stopping to kiss her again when they passed the stretch of wall they had both become so fond of. "I think you'll like it, and that way we'll be together if a few days turns into a week again. No training necessary."

Nesta bit the inside of her cheek, embarrassed but thankful that Cassian had handed her another excuse. "But Gwyn and Emerie need me at training here. What about the course?"

"Az or Mor can winnow you back and forth with Emerie. We won't be staying too far from her," Cassian shrugged, and then his face lit up with a tentative grin. Strange, to see anything tentative on her brash... On her brash lover. "Hell, maybe you'll convince him to stay with us for a night or two."

"I doubt that."

"I think you'd be surprised. He doesn't like Windhaven, but he's always been willing to stay with me with enough incentive."

Nesta rolled her eyes. "And now the incentive is...?"

"You, sweetheart, correct." They turned the corner to her hallway, and Cassian paused. He waited until she stopped walking too and took both of her hands in his own. "If you don't want him to come, he doesn't have to. But I would like you there, Nes. I know you didn't get the best introduction to Illyria before the war... or after. I want to show you my people, the way I see them."

His face was painfully earnest, and Nesta felt like she was staring into the sun, her reluctance melting under its rays.

She bit her lip, and Cassian's expression collapsed, just slightly.

"Okay," she said before that look could devastate her any further. "Alright. When are we leaving, and what do I need to pack?"

The tether tugged sweetly, and Cassian smiled, bright and wide. "Bare essentials, sweetheart. We'll leave after you bathe and get some lunch."

Nesta nodded, shoving back the discomfiting regret she already felt for agreeing, and then paused. Azriel had quietly winnowed Emerie away without any promise to be back for lunch or dinner, likely tied up handling state secrets she wasn't privy to, and she was fairly certain Mor was back on the continent now that Solstice and the New Year had passed.

"Are we flying?"

Cassian's smile grew.

Nesta winced. "I think we'd better skip the lunch, then."

--------------------------------------

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter here or on AO3! For more ~author comments~ and glimpses into writing viciousness & intelligence, please check out my notes on AO3 as well.

#nessriel #nessian #nezriel #viciousnessintelligencefic #cassian #azriel #nesta #my fics #acotar fic #giving azriel a happy ending one way or another with his two favorite clowns #rhys #feyre #they're here too this time #hold on to your hats because this chapter is where it gets fruity #in like... several different ways

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invisibleraven · 2 years

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Mashup prompt: everyone knows/mistaken for couple + vacation fic, rulie

"Boys suck," Julie said as she slumped back onto her couch, blowing the hair out of her face.

"Thanks," Reggie said from the other side of the couch where he was reading.

"Not you, obviously. But in general, boys suck."

Reggie lowered his book, marking his page and setting it aside. "Why, pray tell do all members of my gender suck?"

"So you remember Tyson?" Julie asked, and when Reggie screwed up his face in disgust, she took that as a yes and plowed on. "Well I made plans for us to take a mini vacay for the long weekend, just up the coast to nice inn, small scenic town, get away from it all for a few days. Only for him to tell me he made plans with his girlfriend this weekend."

"Bastard," Reggie muttered.

"Yeah, that was one of the words I used on him. Anyways, boys suck and now I'm stuck with all these reservations I can't cancel. I'd give them to Flynn but she and Carrie already had plans, Alex and Willie are both working, and Luke would just try to use it as a song writing getaway."

"Well you didn't ask me," Reggie said. "I'm free this weekend, the two of us could go, have a BFF weekend, get away from it all and talk about the suckage of boys that are not in a band with us."

"Really?" Julie saw Reggie nod and threw herself into his arms. "You are the best!"

"And don't you forget it!" Reggie stated. He brushed back the curls from her face, gazing down at her softly and then shook himself internally. "Well then, let's get packing!" he said, dislodging himself from her embrace and racing off to his room.

Reggie swore he could feel the tension bleeding from his pores and far away as they pulled up to the quaint little inn Julie had booked. Honestly the whole town looked like it belonged on a postcard, and Reggie was already wishing they could stay forever. He whistled at the ivy creeping up the inn, the ripples off the small lake, the scent off horses in the air from the small barn off to the side. "Yeah, this place would have been wasted on Tyson."

Julie came over, similarly awed, and slipped her arm through his. "Well then it's a good thing I'm here with you then. Come on, let's check in."

Reggie approached the counter, letting Julie take in the small sitting room, complete with ornate fireplace, though he doubted it saw much use here in California. "Checking in for Molina?"

The employee smiling, typing away at the computer, and then slid two keys across the counter. "Here you go Mr. Molina, please let us know if you need anything."

Reggie flushed at that, "Oh, I... um... thank you." He rushed off to Julie at that, though she was ignorant as to why he was so red in the face, and they traipsed upstairs to find their room. Only to stop as they opened the door, the large, singular bed staring them in the face.

"Oh, Reggie, I can go ask for another room, I'm sorry," Julie stated.

Reggie took in her crestfallen expression, and though he knew it was probably a bad idea to share a bed with Julie for a multitude of reasons, pushed those thoughts aside. "Nah, it's okay. I mean, we've snuggled together lots at band sleepovers, this isn't much different. Come on, I wanna go check out the horses!"

Julie smiled as she watched Reggie trot around the paddock, clearly in his glee. The man was made to be a cowboy, and Julie was secretly thrilled that she got to let him live out this small little dream, and resolved to take him to a dude ranch for his next birthday.

"You ready to join your boyfriend sweetheart?" the instructor asked as they handed her the reigns.

Julie felt heat creeping to her ears at that. "Oh no, he's... um, sure. Ready." She figured that since everyone came here as couples, the staff wouldn't assume otherwise, and she decided to let it go. Why embarrass the staff for a misplaced assumption? Honestly she would be lucky to have a guy like Reggie as hers, but she knew they were nothing more than good friends. She nudged her horse forward, finally matching Reggie's pace and his grin widened as he caught sight of her.

"Hey darlin', isn't this the best?" Julie prayed that Reggie didn't notice how she flushed an shivered at the endearment, his natural twang having a decidedly arousing effect on her.

"It is nice, though don't ask me to go any faster." Reggie gave her a small smile at that, extending one hand to her, twisting their fingers together as their horses plodded around the paddock. "You don't have to slow down for me you know, you can go ride like the wind if you want."

Reggie's face took on a small pink hue. "I'd rather be with you, if that's alright." Julie blushed herself, but squeezed his hand and let their horses guide them around in a simple circle as the sun began to set over the lake.

They enjoyed a rather lovely dinner together that evening, the candlelight low, music soft, but they spent it dissing their exes and sharing a bottle of wine, giggling by the time they entered their room. However, the large bed looming there had a sobering effect as they got ready, backs turned to one another as they slid under the covers.

"Thank you again for coming Reg," Julie whispered. She heard him turning over so she copied the move, facing his earnest green eyes and kind, crooked grin.

"Anything for you Jules, you know that. Plus I got to ride a horse, so I should be thanking you!" They both giggled at that, wishing each other soft goodnights as their laughter died, eyes closing, and hands finding each other in their slumber.

Julie awoke the next morning feeling warm, and blinked open her eyes to find herself tangled up in Reggie, his heartbeat steady under her ear. He was extremely comfy, and she was tempted to just let herself drift back into sleep when he started to stir. Reggie blinked down at her, his smile and eyes soft as she slowly came into focus. "Morning darlin', sleep okay?"

"Best sleep I've had in a while. You?"

"Same," Reggie said, though his words were punctuated by a yawn, and then a grumble from his stomach. "Breakfast?"

Julie's own stomach answered for her, and they got ready for the day surprisingly quickly, and were fed before too long. Julie asked if maybe they could take a rowboat out on the lake, just enjoy the surroundings, and Reggie was keen, so they wandered down to the lake, sitting through the prerequisite safety demo and soon were being lead to the docks.

Julie was being fitted for her lifejacket when an employee held Reggie back. "Look buddy, I know this scenario is romantic and all, but if you're planning to pop the question in the middle of the lake, do yourself a favour and just don't okay? The amount of guys I've had to fish out because they lost their balance while proposing is staggeringly high."

"I wasn't... we aren't... thanks for the warning," Reggie stammered.

"My advice is always to do it in the gazebo," the employee said, gesturing to the small structure up closer to the house that looked over the lake, covered in blooms and looking quite picteresque.

"I'll keep that in mind," Reggie promised, tossing on his own life jacket and easing himself into the boat. He came up with some lie about the employee reminding him about their time limit, and began rowing.

That night was a repeat of their first; good food, good wine, and ending up snuggle around each other in their sleep. Reggie awoke first this time, and he had to resist the urge to gently kiss Julie awake. Honestly, this whole trip had been the most sublime torture, everything he wanted dangled right in front of him, and no way to reach it. He was just so gone for Julie, but they were friends, and nothing more. He didn't dare disturb that, not for the sake of some silly crush.

Julie slowly blinked her eyes open and caught Reggie staring down at her intently, seemingly lost in thought. "Hey," she whispered softly. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Breakfast," he answered lamely, but Julie didn't question his lie. "Also thinking we could go into town today, check out some small touristy shops?"

"Sounds good to me."

Thus, after food they headed off on foot to the nearby town, enjoying the leisurely stroll, walking hand in hand, taking in the beautiful trees and plants that lined the path. The town itself was small and quaint, everything painted in bright pastels, with kitschy little stores. Julie bought them both taffy to share, while Reggie opted to get them some lemonade. They found a few small souvenirs for their friends, Julie slipping them inside her tote bag.

Then she saw it; the stall selling stained glass panels that you could hang from your window and had to stop at the gorgeous one of a dahlia. She lifted a tentative finger to it, tracing the myriad of petals in various shades of pink and purple and felt a longing like she hadn't in so long.

"Wow, that's gorgeous," Reggie commented, lifting it gently, then taking in the price and letting out a low whistle. Julie looked and balked, knowing that hand crafted things were more expensive, but she couldn't justify buying it. She took it from Reggie and eased it back on it's hook, proposing lunch.

Only, at lunch, Reggie excused himself for the bathroom and took a while to come back, shrugging it off as too much sugar, making Julie tease him about his sweet tooth. They ambled away the rest of the afternoon, mostly window shopping, though they did squeeze themselves into a photo booth, cheesing it up for every picture. They stumbled out of the booth, and an old lady passing by them made a comment about what a lovely couple they made, causing them both to blush and stammer, but neither denied it, just giggling to one another as they made their way back to the inn.

They enjoyed one last meal back at the inn, a bitter sweetness falling over them. "This has been the best weekend, thank you Reggie," Julie said sincerely as they got ready for bed.

"It was my pleasure." Reggie paused then, biting his lip, and then went to her tote, extracting a tissue wrapped package and placed it gingerly into her hands. Julie eased the paper back and gasped as she saw the stained glass dahlia staring back at her.

"Reggie... you didn't have to... this was so expensive!"

Reggie shrugged at that. "You're worth every penny Jules. Plus you let me mooch off this trip from that idiot Tyson. Can't believe he had the nerve to treat you like that."

Julie lowered the dahlia to the small coffee table, biting her lip as she faced Reggie. "The thing is... when I confronted him about it, he said... 'I figured we weren't exclusive since you're dating Peters as well as me'."

"What? He thought we were dating?" Reggie asked.

"He's not the only one. Every employee here has assumed we are, that lady in town... hell my dad has been asking me for ages when we're going to make things official," Julie said. "It seems like everyone can see it... except us."

"Julie..." Reggie started, taking her hands in his. "I-I care about you, so so much. More than I probably should, but I didn't want to mess things up with my feelings, so I convinced myself I'd be happy enough just being your friend."

Julie gazed up at him, the moonlight from the window making him glow. "I have to admit, when Tyson said that... I had to ask myself why, and well, talking to dad made it all the clearer how much of a couple we come off as without ever being one... and how much I want that to change. So, Reggie Peters, what do you say about taking me out on a real date when we get home?"

Reggie's answer was a deep and passionate kiss that sent them tumbling onto the bed, breathless and giggling as they broke apart.

They awoke the next morning, tangled together to a knocking on the door. "Mr. and Mrs. Molina? Check out is in an hour, just wanted to remind you."

The pair of them looked at each other and giggled. "One day," Reggie promised, kissing her knuckles.

"So who do you think is going to be the most surprised when we tell them?" Julie asked as they pulled away from the inn.

"That we're finally dating or that we haven't been all this time?" Reggie asked. Julie giggled at that, flicking a piece of hair off his forehead, and having her hand caught and kissed before Reggie let go to take hold of the wheel once more.

Over two years later, they found themselves back at the inn, giddy to be back in the place that had brought them together. Though they had been back a fair few times since then, loving the peace and quiet it supplied them outside of their noisy and hectic lives. Reggie caught sight of the boating instructor who had warned him about the lake last year and waved, going off to say hello while Julie checked them in.

"Ah, hello again Mr. Molina, nice to see you again."

Reggie grinned at that. "It's Peters actually. But I'm working on making myself Molina very soon." He glanced around, and seeing that Julie wasn't looking, he showed off the ring he had stashed in his pocket, bouncing a little on his toes. "And don't worry, I remember what you told me about the rowboats."

"I'll ensure the gazebo is empty at sunset with a bottle of champagne then?" the employee asked with a smirk. Reggie nodded and slipped a few bills into his hand, then rushed off to Julie.

They went up to their room, unpacking quickly, and Julie brought Reggie into a lush kiss. "So, what first? Horses or lake?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd like a stroll in the gardens with me? I heard about a really nice place we can watch the sunset together..."

#wow this got long #filled prompts #ficlet #rulie #julie and the phantoms

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gazrgaley · 1 year

Text

Manifestation of a Monster (chapter 49)

Ma'at was silent as the sun rose over the hillside and cornfield beyond the tiny farm window. Her physical condition was improving over time. Still, she needed Malachi's assistance. Having to rely on other people made her feel bad, and this made her angry at herself. She was frustrated because she had almost completed her plan, but nothing the moment slipped threw her fingers like grains of sand. And her feelings toward Alu and Wakhakwi were muddled. Since she had last seen them, it seemed like both seconds and eternity had passed.

From a hard chair, she ran her finger along the worn surface of the table. Her eyes were on the sun as it rose over the fields of corn. She was still processing her feelings about leaving the church for the farm. And just like the church, She would have to become accustomed to modern design.

Malachi walked somberly into the room after tapping at the door a few seconds later. "Most of them had been slaughtered last night." referring to the zompires. He lowered his head like he did first thing in morning.

Ma'at spoke quietly and uninterested. "Oh." She could care less about what he had to say. She cared not at all about the welfare of those she turned. They were only a body, a soldier for her cause. Kill or be killed, it made no difference to her.

"I'll have our people picking up what's left," Malachi continued, trying to get her attention. "Even though I realize it's impossible to rapidly increase our population, I have faith that we can do it again in due time."

"Until Alu destroys them all within seconds," Ma'at answered her attention now on the white lace doily in the centre of the table. She had every right to be upset with him. But in regards to the night before, she harboured no anger. While lying in wait, she was aware of the extent to which her abilities had developed. She reasoned that the pair must be significantly stronger than that.

Ma'at sighed heavily and looked up at Malachi. "I know we can't control everything, but I still can't help but feel frustrated. My plan was so close to coming to fruition, and now it's all falling apart."

Malachi nodded in understanding. "I know it's difficult, Ma'at. But we can't give up. We have to keep pushing forward and find a way to make our plan work. In the meantime, we need to focus on rebuilding and protecting our people."

During their conversation, a man in a black business suit entered the room as they were talking. He didn't speak a word as he moved to the far corner, where he leaned against the wall like a fly.

Ma'at nodded, her mind now focused on the tasks at hand. She would have to put her personal feelings aside and do what was necessary for the greater good. "You're right, Malachi. We can't let our emotions get in the way. We'll just have to keep moving forward and do our best to succeed."

"You could have helped," Malachi said to the man in the shadow, not looking at him but instead focusing on Ma'at.

"I beg your pardon?" Richard roared. "I couldn't have done it. And don't try to blame your failure on me. I did my job. I was supposed to bring them to you."

Malachi began to protest. "If you could just-" Richard swooped in from the shadows, closing in on the priest.

"What if I just what?" Richard's voice was calm but foreboding. "You were the one who failed." Malachi stepped back. "If I had done anything else, they would have realised I was betraying them. I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on them if I did anything else. So don't even think of questioning me. As things stand now, I'm putting a lot on the line."

"What about your wife?" In an effort to equal Richard's intensity, Malachi questioned, fixing his gaze squarely on the man.

A guttural menacing sound came from the depths within Richard as he spoke. "what about her?"

"Does she agree?" At ease, Malachi posed the question. "It seems like you're balancing on a tightrope. After all, the one, Grendel was the vampire who made you. What makes us think she," For emphasis, he cleared his throat. "would be ok with betraying your family and friends like this?"

There was some doubt as to whether or not the priest had seen Richard's swaying, but Ma'at had seen it all. He straightened his tie and reached quickly with his hands as if seeking something that wasn't there. "My wife does as she is told."

Ma'at watched the exchange between the two men with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. She hadn't known Richard for a long time, but she could tell that he was not one to be underestimated. His loyalty to her was questionable, and she also knew that he was not without his own motivations.

"I see," Ma'at said calmly, "it seems that you both have your own agendas. But let's not forget that our ultimate goal is the same. We need to find a way to rebuild our community and protect ourselves from Alu and Wakhakwi, along with the rest of them. We can't let our personal differences get in the way of that."

Richard nodded in agreement, his anger subsiding. "You're right, Ma'at. We need to work together and find a way to succeed. I'll do whatever it takes to help you achieve your goal."

Malachi nodded as well, his expression solemn. "We all have a part to play in this. And we can't afford to let our personal issues get in the way. We need to focus on the greater good and do what needs to be done to protect our people."

The door opened, and another man came in. The robe he was wearing concealed his face. In a respectful bow, he addressed Ma'at. "Goddess, your room is ready." He said quickly before leaving the room.

"Goddess, do you wish to be taken to your room?" Malachi asked, his eyes shining. She sank back into her chair unconsciously. She didn't want to be back in his arms, but she did want to get out of that uncomfortable chair and into her bed.

As they spoke Richard walked toward the window. Gently pulling aside the satin curtains as he gazed upon the cornfields with interest. "What is that?"

"What?" Asked Malachi.

"I was under the impression that there would be only the four of us in this estate," Richard replied.

Malachi lunged for the window as Richard stepped aside. "Where did they go?" As Malachi looked around frantically, Richard pointed inside the fields. "I can't see anything from here," Malachi answered in frustration.

Richard took the seat next to Ma'at as Malachi raced out of the room. She gave him a puzzled expression. "There are no people out there." She was well aware of this. She had been staring out the window all day and was still doing so when he made the accusation.

"I know," Richard replied, a slight grin forming on the corner of his mouth.

"You just didn't seem to keen on him taking you to your room."As the front door flew open, Malachi dashed from the porch, through the driveway, and into the fields, there was stillness between the two.

"You are welcome to wait for him to return if I'm miss reading anything."

She looked at him for a time, unsure what to say, then shook her head.

"No, I think it's best if I go to my room now. I need some time to rest and think about our next steps." Ma'at said, pushing herself to the edge of her chair with a sigh. She didn't want to be dependent on anyone, but she was still recovering and needed help getting around.

Richard nodded and stood up, offering her his arm. "I'll be happy to assist you, Ma'at. Let's go to your room." With that, he lifted her from the chair. She couldn't help but noticed the differences between the two. She could feel every uncomfortable thought in Malachi's brain. Richard had none. Instead, she felt a sense of comfort from him.

Together, they made their way down the hallway to her designated room. As they walked, Ma'at wondered, she didn't trust Richard completely, and she couldn't shake the feeling that he had ulterior motives. But for now, she would have to rely on him and hope that he was truly on her side.https://www.wattpad.com/1297794332-manifestation-of-a-monster-warm-blooded-vampires

#warm blooded vampires series #chapter 49 #manifestation of a monster #wattpad #goth stories #vampyr #vampires #oc vampires #gaz042

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feralnumberfive · 3 years

Text

I'm sorry but Luther chucking Five off the stairs instead of just pushing him aside is golden

#I know he was doing it to actually get rid of Five but for all he knows Five could have teleported right back in front of him #so it wouldn't have made a difference if he pushed him aside or threw him but they needed Five to blink into the alleyway to drive the plot #if I had a dime for every post I started with 'I'm sorry' I'd have enough to buy Five a new fudge nutter (wait is that what it's called)#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #number five #five hargreeves

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robinofgothamcity · 3 years

Text

♡ prompt: "Do you want me to hurt him?" / inspired by 'telephone' by lady gaga

♡ pairing: bart allen ( impulse ) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / my schedule is going to become more sporadic starting next week :/ i'm going to keep the warning up until next week.

"Bart, shut up," you said, jokingly pushing him. he laughed, handing you the ice cream, "what? I'm serious! I just think that mint chocolate is better. if you have just mint, it'll taste like toothpaste and if you have just chocolate, it's too sweet so mint chocolate is a good even ground," he explained.

you felt your phone vibrate as Jinny spoke up, talking about how Bart and Connor shared one brain cell outside of the field. looking down to see who was ringing you, you saw that it was your god forsaken boyfriend for the 100th time.

"oooo, who is that?" Bart asked, looking over to your phone. he read the wall of text you had received but you quickly shut your phone off, not bothering to read it, "you gonna answer that?" he asked, a small bit of jealousy bubbling up inside him.

"don't really feel like it," you quickly said, trying to remain off that topic. Bart, clearly annoyed, snatched your phone and put it in his pocket, "than let's forget about him, right?" he asked, putting on his annoyed fake smile.

Tim and Jinny saw the very irritated face Bart had and looked to each other as they shook their heads, "those two I swear," Jinny huffed out in annoyance. "more like ( your name )," he replied, "Bart could admit his feelings to her face and she still wouldn't do anything about that horrid boyfriend of hers."

the two of them stifled giggles from each other as they watched the two of you continue to flirt openly. it was no secret to anyone on the team. it was very clear to everyone on the YJ team, the Titans, even the JLA knew that the two of you liked each other....a lot but it was that stupid boyfriend of yours that got in the way of Bart ever truly expressing his feelings for you.

"what is everyone's plans after this?" you asked the team as they all murmured different answers, indicating that they were all busy. you sighed, trying not go straight up at the moment because you knew that you'd have to deal with your boyfriends calls when you got there, "I'll stay out with ya!" Bart replied as he saw the empty park bench.

you gave him a grin, "thanks Allen. you're a life saver," you exclaimed, waving everyone off goodbye. you walked to the bench, Bart following right behind you as Bart felt your phone ringing again.

there had been a scarce few times where you did call Bart with your boyfriend problems. it was usually late at night. probably inching near three in the morning when you called him sobbing, asking him if you deserved to go through the bullshit you were dealing with your boyfriend.

Bart always felt himself getting angry whenever he received those calls. you sounded so heartbroken, tired, and emotional. he was always there to help pick you back up but not even a few days later, you were back with him, telling Bart that your boyfriend needed you now more than ever.

"he's still angry that you're hanging out with me? do you want me to hurt him?" he asked, finally taking your phone out of your pocket. you nodded, rolling your eyes, "Bart no. he thinks that my 'job' is taking too much time away from him and I being together. I swear, it's like hearing a broken record. one minute, he's mad and wants to break up and the next second, he's at my door asking for forgiveness," you explained, frustrated.

Bart squeezed your hand, tapping his fingers on top yours, "you know what you need to do," he replied, giving you a serious look. you stared at him, biting your lip, "it's hard, Bart. he's going through a lot and I'll feel guilty if I just leave him," you whispered taking his hand and holding it.

"you literally fight villains for a living and you're scared of that? you know you deserve more," Bart said, "and I've seen the way you look at other girls who decide to flirt with me," he joked, trying to break the tension. "shut up, it's not even like that," you lied, making Bart even laugh more. "but seriously, you know it's not secret that I like you." you sighed, not knowing what to say as you put your head on his shoulder.

the silence wasn't exactly awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. there had been multiple times when Bart had told you his true feelings for you and every time he did, you responded with a hum or a 'okay Bart'.

it wasn't that you didn't accept his true feelings. it was far from that. you actually did like the speedster but you knew Bart could do a lot better. you knew Bart deserved someone who actually deserved him and that person wasn't you. you weren't as cute or funny as he was. he deserved someone like Cassie. smart, funny, and cute.

the YJ tower was completely empty aside from you and Bart. everyone was out doing their own thing. Tim and Connor were at their respective homes. Jinny and Amethyst were out doing god knows what meanwhile Keli and Cassie had gone to the movies to watch a film they both had been dying to see so that just left you and Bart in the lair to do as you pleased.

"Bart, hand me the remote," you said lazily. he handed it to you as you turned it off, getting up and stretching yourself out. Bart stared at you confused, "why'd you turn it off? I was watching that!" he exclaimed. you threw the remote across the couch and getting him up, "lets do something productive and make dinner or something," you replied enthusiastically.

Bart rolled his eyes but got up nonetheless. he followed you to the kitchen as you played music through the speakers that were built on the wall. "what're you making?" he asked, seeing you take out things that made no sense.

you looked over your options and realized you could make some kind of stew or a soup of some kind. "beef and gravy stew! we have enough things to make enough for the team and seconds for the both of us," you said, getting the things from the cupboards and having Bart start to chop every thing up.

you knew Bart was dumb but that didn't mean he wasn't a kick ass cook. there had been multiple times where he had made everyone dinner or dinner even for the two of you and it always turned out amazing. you dumped every thing that Bart had chopped up and proud it into the pot before grabbing a few things from the fridge and making the gravy that had to poured in. it didn't take long but the two of you had to wait until the pot boiled up in order for it to be ready.

the song 'telepatia' by Kali Uchis played over the speakers as you finally turned over to Bart and smiled, "we just need for it to boil and it'll be ready!" you exclaimed. he nodded as you started singing the song out loud. not particularly towards him but a warm feeling in his gut made him get butterflies as you continued.

"you know I'm just a flight away, if you want it, you can take a private plane."

you looked up to Bart, wanting to give him another smile but he quickly got rid of any questioning thoughts and went in for a kiss. you were taken back in surprise. this was the first time Bart had ever put his feelings forward and actually gave you a kiss.

his kisses were soft. they weren't rushed which was ironic considering all Bart was, was being fast and always on the move. you had placed your hands on his thighs as you made the kiss even deeper. it took you a few seconds to register what you were doing when alarms rang off in your head. you had a boyfriend and by continuing to kiss Bart, you were technically cheating on him.

"Bart no, I can't," you murmured, pushing yourself off of him. he gave you a defeated look, understanding where you coming from, "I'm sorry," you replied, going back to the food and trying to forget that you even made the move to reciprocate the kiss. in the back of your mind though, knew it that kiss meant that you had fell for Bart and hard.

"I have to head home, it's getting late and we patrol tomorrow night so I think it's best we head back," you whispered knowing you'd have to deal with your stingy boyfriend when you got home. Bart gave your hand one more squeeze before getting up, "see you later," Bart murmured, getting the inkling feeling that he'd probably receive a phone call tonight from you.

you nodded, making your way towards your apartment. you had a fuck ton of messages from your boyfriend and over ten missed calls by the time you sat comfortably in your couch. you finally dialed him back, instantly getting a bunch of curse words thrown at you for not picking up.

it felt like hours when the two of you finally stopped arguing with each other. it ended with you in tears and your voice hoarse as you had finally grown the nerve to break up with him. you knew for your mental health that it was time to do it and truthfully, your feelings for Bart were growing more and more every time you saw him. there was no point in continuing the relationship if you were no longer having feelings for him and although you felt guilty by doing it, you ripped it off like a band aid.

you grabbed your phone and clicked on Bart's number. Bart on the other hand shifted in his bed, seeing your contact light up his phone. he groggily picked it up, "hey," he said in that sleepy tone of his. you hiccuped, trying to control your tears, "can you come over?" you whispered, the crack of thunder scaring you shitless, "I really need someone right now."

Bart sighed, telling you to give him a minute before hanging up. Bart had no idea how many more of these late night sleepovers he had left in him. he sped over to your place, grabbing the secret key from the back of the broken piece of wood that was attached to your door frame. he opened it, seeing you sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and your hiccups still overcoming your body.

"what's wrong?" he asked. you stared at him, tears instantly rushing down your face, "I deserve to be happy right?" he nodded almost immediately, "than why do I feel so shitty because I broke up with him?" you asked.

Bart stared at you, not believing what he was hearing. you had finally broken up with that shitty boyfriend and he was the first person you contacted.

"because that's what manipulative people do ( your name )," he whispered, "they make you feel like shit for things that you didn't even do. you're perfect and he didn't deserve you or anyone like you. especially you though," he joked, bracing you even harder for a hug. he knew it would be wrong to try and make a move but gave you a kiss on the top of your head and whispered nothing but supportive things into your ear as you tried to calm yourself down.

the rain happening outside and Bart's words were lulling you to sleep as Bart hadn't even realized that you were passing out on his side. it wasn't until you hadn't moved that Bart realized you were not longer awake. he grabbed your body, lifting you up bridal style before making his way to your room.

he placed you down on your bed with every intention of just letting you sleep and him heading home but you grabbed onto his body, sleepily saying that he was going to stay here. you hadn't even said it as a question but more as a statement. he didn't argue with it; however, and he had thankfully came over in his pajamas as he scooted you over a bit and crawled in.

you smiled softly, hugging him instantly and passing out once again. Bart placed a small kiss on the top of your head before whispering into your ear, "you'll be mine one day, didn't I tell you that?" he murmured before trying to fall back asleep.

#dc comics #dc x reader #dc imagine #dc #bart allen x you #bart allen imagine #bart allen x reader #bart allen #impulse imagine #impulse x reader #impulse #comics #fics

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starryyyjoon · 3 years

Text

I, you | Kim Namjoon One Shot

word count: 8.2k

pairing: idol!namjoon x fem reader

summary: namjoon meets you again and he can't help but want you to look at him the same way he has all these years.

disclaimer: it's sort of written from y/n pov. kind of smut included, not too much but still. other then that, i don't think there's anything. it was written a long time ago so i don't clearly remember, sorry!

Namjoon walked in, followed by a few staff members and they occupied the empty chairs on the conference table and I smiled at him and the others. He looked great like always, he was in a navy blue hoodie and a khaki colored trouser, with his hair pushed backwards exposing his forehead.

There was something and nothing between me and him and it was too tiring to play pretend. "You look good", he remarked and I smiled at him. He's always being too kind, I looked like absolute shit, I hadn't slept in three days and my clothes were whatever was in my reach that I'd put on after showering and I rushed here.

I had met him before this level of success but I was merely an assistant director myself and we'd talked about Monet and his work together, he'd similar interests to mine but both of us didn't really get anywhere because of our timing and I believed it was for the good. He'd always expressed how he liked my vision and wants to work with me on something and I didn't believe my vision because what even was my vision that he could see and not me and after being this big I didn't really thought he'll even remember me until he hit my phone one day and here I was, at the label's office to discuss the details of his mixtape's music video.

"So, do you've something in mind?", I asked him and he pressed his back on the chair letting out a yawn, he seemed tired.

"Not really! I want it simplistic and not too hard to understand. I haven't thought about it or anything so I don't know, I would await what you propose", he softly said.

"I haven't heard the track because of--", he intervened, "--ah you haven't? You should hear it first", he said and I nodded.

"I would need to hear it", I told him, thinking about the lengthy talks with the illustrator already.

The staff then pin pointed about the budget, the do nots and other details and two of my team members who were seated beside me talked thoroughly in detail about the technicalities. Namjoon looked bored with all the talk that didn't interest him. He wasn't much different from before slightly bigger.

All of us stood up coming to an agreement when Namjoon asked me to walk up to his studio to hear the track and I asked my team members to go ahead first. I walked through the dark corridor behind him while he talked to someone on the phone, all the way to his studio. I didn't really hear what he was talking because I was invested in staring around the place like I hadn't seen a building before.

The walls were all dark and a comforting shade since I didn't like the sun anyway. It seemed like a night mode in real life.

His studio was the corner most, he typed the passcode in and stood aside gesturing for me to walk in, followed by him. He hung up the phone call and put his phone aside, switching the AC on. He sat behind the monitor while he switched it on and I went through my inbox.

"So, how have you been?", his deep tone, made me look up and I fidgeted to put my eyes on something other then him while he turned his chair around to face me.

"I have been okay-ish, like the projects I'm doing I'm satisfied with them so I guess it's kinda okay", I said and regretted it immediately, I don't even talk like this and he knows it.

"Not the work c'mon, you, your boyfriend, family, other things?", a lose smile hung on his lips and I looked at him. How can someone look like that?

"No boyfriend because you know no one can put up with this profession. I haven't slept in three days so I'm fucking annoyed and the work is too much that I don't have time for other things", I shrugged and he chuckled. I didn't want to think about guys, I barely had time for myself. Filmmaking was a time bound profession.

"I relate, trust me I do", he turned his chair back around, his eyes on the computer screen and I looked at him. I could see why he could relate, I mean of course he didn't had time either. I knew idol schedules enough to know how these things go. "Why didn't you come that day?", he asked me and my insides twisted.

"I was hoping you don't bring it up", I said in a small voice.

"Why not? I waited for you", he said without looking at me and I threw my head back on the couch thinking of the time when he'd asked me out officially and I didn't make it. "At least I deserve to know what was more important that you didn't make it", he looked at me and I closed my eyes shut.

"I had a flight, I got an exclusive food show travel experience with discovery and it was too good for an opportunity to miss", I let it out and took a breath in. I knew I could never leave work for a guy, any guy, or anyone as a matter of fact and as much as I'd thought about it on the plane...it all seemed for the better. He wasn't the kind of guy I could've had my regular thing with and I was too young to be serious.

"It was a good show", he told me. I could feel his eyes on me and I didn't flinch. I didn't regret it but his words made me feel guilty. My head was on the headrest of the sofa I sat on and my eyes were closed. My subconscious could feel his curious gaze on me.

"Look away Namjoon", I said and I could feel his gaze was still on me.

"Why didn't you call me when you got back?", he asked me and I looked at him.

"I didn't because our cultures differ, everything is poles apart--what's the point of discussing it now?", I asked him, slightly annoyed. He and I separately needed to focus on our careers and he knew it too damn well.

"Okay", he turned around again as his monitor showed a circle indicating that the programme he'd launched was loading. "It does makes me feel better that my better position in life doesn't changes your opinion on me. Quiet comforting", he said, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but I chose to ignore it. The last thing I'd be doing is fueling this feeling in him by discussing this useless thing which wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.

"Is this the reason you wanted me to do this project with you?", I asked him and he swiftly turned his chair around.

"No, I don't take all this for granted. I love the stuff you do. I'm pretty updated thanks to how active you're on your social media", he smiled and I couldn't shook the thought of seeing my psychotic episodes on my Instagram, Twitter...everywhere. I'm pretty weird out there.

"I love it, the stories", he flased his dimple smile before turning his chair around again and I felt his warmth, like he meant what he said.

For a second I was taken aback with how tall he was from me and how good he looked, he'd always looked good but he was more mature now and much more reserved. "I'll be calling you often because I won't send it for pre-production without your say on the concept", I told him.

"I'll look forward to a lot of calls", he said. "I'm sorry this is taking a while", he added quickly and for some reason I couldn't look away from him, whose back was visible to me.

"No, take your time", I said, crossing my arms against my chest. I really wished he was a regular guy just making music but then I didn't. I wouldn't want someone to wish that for me. He'd earned all of it and I knew it.

"Look away ___", he said slowly. I could feel his grin through his words and I looked away shaking my head right and left softly. "It's, yeah it's playing", he turned around as the music filled in the empty atmosphere.

It was a slow song with a really fast rap. It was how Namjoon was, he contradicted himself too much. I instantly knew it was his writing from the way the words went and the wordplay came into role. I couldn't help but analyze the song because I was supposed to shoot and sketch a music video for it and at times like this I didn't really get to enjoy the art for the art and I hated it.

"How was it?", he asked me, his eyes fixated on me as the music faded. I wanted it to last.

"The only problem with it is that it ends", I flashed a smlie at him and he shook his head throwing it back.

"That's too corny even for you", Namjoon rolled his eyes but I was being serious. "You know I appreciate heavy critics", he said.

"I didn't find anything to criticize, the writing is great, the composition fits and it has a catchy vibe to it. I think I would listen a song like that on a drive or something? In your case a bicycle but yeah! It's a good song", I summarized my opinion. "Do you like want a trendy video?", I asked him.

"Anything that you want to do with it", he said and I gently nodded. Since it was given to me, I couldn't stop thinking about what to do with it.

"Can you stop thinking about it while you're with me ___?", he chuckled and I looked at him taken aback for a second and then nodded with a soft smile pasted on my lips.

"Your fashion sense has improved", I remarked.

"You look casual", he teased me.

"I, I've no fashion sense. I just wear whatever is there", I told him.

"I don't think so, your Instagram says different", he said.

"It's for the show Namjoon", I said.

"You're really not the type to do that, please don't deceive me", he beamed before he turned his chair around again to minimize the current tabs on the computer.

"You're the last person I'd be deceiving--", my words were cut from an incoming call from one of the producers of one of the shows I was working on. "I need to take this", I told him and answered the call while he just gave me a gentle nod in response.

The producer had informed me about the issues related to casting and the final draft of the script and I knew I had to go.

"Guess I'll see you later, bye", Namjoon said warmly as he smiled at me. The thing was he just knew and that always stuck somewhere.

"Bye", I left.

________________

"I, for one, disagree. C'mon how do you even call it an end?", I threw my hands in the air as we discussed it for the millionth time. I liked Su-ho but his thoughts on GOT made me want to kill him. He is the only person I knew who was satisfied with how it ended.

"I think it was okay, c'mon, you have to consider that the novels didn't end and as compared to that I think it was pretty good", Su-ho claimed while he sat on the bean bag in front of me, pushing it comfortably.

"Don't even start with the novels--", my words were interrupted with the sound of the doorbell, "--they didn't even do a good job interpreting it and I am offended by that. Look there novels", I pointed at my bookshelf, showing him my GOT collection which he knew as I opened the door and my head bumped against Namjoon's chest as he took a step in.

He chuckled as he held the back of my head with one hand and pressed my forehead with the other and rubbed it gently to ease the pain.

"What's uh, what's that? Is it iron", I mocked, pointing at his chest while he let me go from his grip and took his shoes off.

"It can be", he said. "But why were you jumping around so enthusiastically?", he asked me as he seated on the couch in front of Su-ho, as he greeted him and Su-ho greeted him back.

"Game of Thrones heavy discussions", I sighed. "This is Su-ho who's illustrating the storyboard", I told Namjoon.

Su-ho was starstruck and it seemed like it'd take him a good minute to recover and Namjoon was obviously used to it. I didn't call him at the office because a lot of people would want to see him then and it could be exhausting plus he'd a time limit on his hands.

"You know him, ___?", Su-ho widened his eyes at me and I nodded, suppressing my laughter seeing his chaotic ass behave like this.

"A little", I said and I could feel Namjoon's gaze on me. "Maybe a lot", I rephrased. I could see by the way Su-ho looked at me that he needed answers. "Coffee?", I asked Namjoon.

"Oh yeah", he replied and I stood up. "I've thought of two concepts, Su-ho please brief him on it and if you want anything differently Namjoon, you can tell him", I told him as I marched towards the kitchen.

Should I use the regular coffee mugs or should I use the better ones? I mean it doesn't matter anyway but still, it kind of does? I don't know. It just comes to me, the over thinking.

Ah.

I could hear him and Su-ho talking about the concepts faintly and I was low-key proud because I did work hard on them. I opened the cabinet to take out the better coffee mugs.

This is what happens when you stop drinking milk and stop growing up. I rested my hands on the kitchen pavement thinking about how many shoes with heels I'd because of my height.

I wasn't very short but I wasn't my desired height too. It was sad. I was the right person to sell the tonics concerning height because my insecurity would make me buy it. I exhaled heavily and turned around to find Namjoon behind me.

"Let me", my hips pressed against the marble pavement while his body gently pressed against my front, I could spot the mole on his neck while he calmly took the box of mugs out. "Okay?", he whispered softly and I looked on without responding.

"Thanks", I told him, hoping he'd get away from me because this had me feeling some type of way. I won't admit what type of way. That makes it worse.

"Anytime", he clicked his lips, taking a few steps back as I stirred the coffee and poured it in three cups. Should've used regular ones.

"I like the quotes on that wall", he said as I handed him his cup, taking the other two. A wall of my house was covered in post-it notes and other stuff. Some print outs of Van Gogh and Frida's works alongside other things.

"Yeah that? Thanks", I said, as I gave the cup to Su-ho. "Did you decide on something?", I asked, as I sat down and Namjoon just beside me.

"Yeah, the first one. It was kind of okay, he made some alterations so I would send it to you by...maximum tomorrow", Su-ho told me. "But why did you call him here for just this?", he asked me.

"You seem so concerned about his whereabouts", I glared Su-ho . "I told him I could just email him but he insisted on doing it in person", I looked at Namjoon who took a long sip from his coffee.

"Yeah I did, don't worry I was absolutely free", Namjoon smiled at Su-ho and I could see Su-ho fanboy-ing.

"You're so in line today", I pressed my words.

"Shut up", Su-ho eyed me. I wrapped my hands around the coffee mug feeling its warmth.

After I talked to Namjoon for a while about the shoot and he explained to me about their company procedure and how they usually did things. I didn't like doing music videos or commercials, there's a lot of time you're bound by what the music video demands and you've to stick with that so that was that. I usually preferred either cinema like movies or dramas, I hadn't done much but I had done a few and travel shows were my preference.

"I'll see you next time then", Su-ho politely remarked looking at Namjoon and he smiled and gently bowed his head. I walked with him up-to the door. "I didn't, what the hell, you could've given me a heads up?", Su-ho whispered slowly to me as I leaned against the door.

"I didn't knew you were a fan", I said and he playfully hit me on my arm.

"I still can't believe it, you've to answer my hot questions next time", he said and I nodded.

"Okay okay", I closed the door shut behind me, taking a seat on the far side of the sofa me and Namjoon were seated on. He was scanning my bookshelf and I was looking at him.

"Literally 70% of it is fiction", he said. I read a lot of fiction and he read a lot of nonfiction.

"You should read fiction", I said and he looked at me slightly pissed.

"I do read fiction just not thar much", he pointed at my bookshelf. "If you've to recommend one, shoot", he said.

"Recommend, uh, the secrets of happiness", I said randomly and his face sunk in annoyance. "It's not a book talking about literal secrets of happiness, it has a story", I told him.

"Ah okay...I will try reading that. Let me take your copy", he said.

"No", I said back in a split second.

"I won't lose it, c'mon, ___", he said. I couldn't believe his testimony on not losing it.

"Fine, but it's annotated. You'll owe me big time if you lose it", I said and he nodded vigorously.

"Your place is great", he said looking around the house and I couldn't see why, I mean yeah maybe but not that I find it great if I think from his point of view.

"I'm barely here anyway. I pay rent for no reason", I kept the empty mug in my hand on the glass table in front of us.

"That was your friend though, Su-ho?", Namjoon asked as he kept his cup, followed by me.

"Oh yeah! I met him for work but then it's been a while since I know him, it's been years actually and he's a friend now", I said thinking about Su-ho. I don't know why I bothered explaining. It's been a good five years since Namjoon and I hadn't been in touch and there was a little catching up to do.

"You've always had a lot of friends, don't you", he sighed as he sat cross legged on the sofa facing me. I do have plenty friends honestly.

"Kind of", I shrugged. His gaze on me made me sit back in a more cautious way as I fixed my posture. "Namjoon...", I called out his name when the doorbell rung and I was irritated. "Give me a second", I stood up and walked up-to the main door.

It was my neighbor who's mother had left their house keys with me and he was here to take it back. He thanked me for keeping it and walked up to his own flat which was in front of mine.

I closed the door shut and Namjoon was standing by the balcony seeing a cactus I had grown since I couldn't grow any other plant because I was never home to take care of them in case.

"It's cute", he said as he picked the potted plant and stared at it for a little while and I stood behind him and watched him see it.

"You know your pupils dilate when you see plants", I said and he smiled to himself. He kept the cactus back in its resting place and stared at me. "What?", I asked him.

"You were going to say something", he said, his voice sounded deeper then usual for a second and I licked my bottom lip in haste.

"Oh that, you know the alterations you made? I will directly mail it to the staff and maybe cc you because it won't need a second check anyway. I've to get this done a little early since I've--", he turned towards me and I took a step back but there was barely any space and my back was pressed against the wall, "--what is it?", I asked but it came out as a whisper.

"Here", he dragged his index finger across my bottom lip and there was something on my lip. I didn't really see what was on there because of his presence so close to me. My heartbeat had fastened and I could feel it. Something I didn't want to feel.

"Thanks, I guess", I said slowly and he flashed his dimple smile at me and in that moment he seemed the opposite of the dominant he was a few seconds ago.

"Do you know you look really good?", he said, as his fingers ran across my ear touching the piercings one by one. I regretted having three all of a sudden. "And I didn't intended to do this but ___ I uh", he bent over a little, his lips a few inches away from my ear and his breath was falling on my neck.

"Namjoon", I said, trying to not look at him. I knew damn well I couldn't be able to control myself.

"Hmm", his voice was so small and I could feel goosebumps all over my neck. His gaze on me was strong and I had jitters in my stomach.

"I, uh--let's not okay", I put my hands on his shoulder as he pulled me more closer with a jolt and I gasped.

"Do you really not want to?", he asked me. It was a while since I was in this close proximity of someone like this but my subconscious kept telling me not to. "I don't understand what you find so undesirable about me", he took a few steps back and looked away.

What?

"Do you think I find you undesirable?", I asked him, pressing my lips suppressing my smile. I couldn't get how could he change roles in a span of few seconds.

"Yeah, it's pretty evident really", he sighed, looking at the the far side of the sky at the horizon and I saw him sulking.

"It's not that, are you fucking dumb? It's just you know you shouldn't start things you can't take care of", I said. For some reason I've always felt a little hesitant with him. "But you're desirable enough", I added.

"Sudden validation from you, ah", he clicked his lips in mockery and I felt bad. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was playing hard to get. I didn't feel competent enough in my heart. "Let me kiss you", he said, taking a few steps closer breaking the chain of my thoughts and I hated being so much in control and feeling a little out of place.

I was back to where I was a few seconds ago, me cornered and he put his lips on mine and my body automatically responded. He took over me in a second. My hands rested on his back and clutched the fabric. His hands travelled below my hips as he pulled me upwards and my legs wrapped around his waist. He didn't stop kissing me for one second and I didn't want him to, as he pressed his mouth harder on mine and I bit back a moan. I could feel the heat in my body and every vein seemed to electrify. He walked me up-to my bedroom like he knew which suddenly felt foreign to me as he laid me on the bed, breaking the kiss and I was breathless, panting for air.

I didn't had any resort in me to stop. I didn't want him to stop. I couldn't care more about whatever that had me concerned for a while. He watched me look at him and his lips curved in a smirk. "Should I stop?", he teased me taking a seat on the edge of the bed and I looked away from him to the right side, scoffing.

I pushed myself up, my hands at the hem of the lose white t-shirt I'd on and for a second I hesitated at the fact that he must've seen better flesh than mine but I pulled it upwards exposing myself in front of him as his eyes went everywhere. "Do you want to stop?", I asked him, as I crawled over to him. He didn't object as I sat on his lap and took his face in my hands. I looked in his eyes. He looked beautiful. I traced the outline of his skull, his jaw as I pushed his hair locks that were on his forehead behind. "Do you want to stop Namjoon?", I asked him again as he held me tight, giving me my answer.

He tugged at my neck with his mouth leaving a trail of gentle kisses down and I could feel my nipples startlingly prominent beneath the black lightweight bra I had on. I clutched his hair as he bit my neck suddenly and I gasped.

He pushed me on to him, nearer but there was barely any space for me to come close and I could feel him all over. He messily kissed me before groping my bottom and I-I cut a breath in. He would take turns and be gentler a second and rough the another. "Namjoon", I called out gasping which fueled him even more. He looked at me and smiled proudly at how he had me without doing much.

He flicked the straps of my bra shoving it down exposing my breasts and I could feel my nipples harden to the point it was painful. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me, more. The way my body responded to his touch was almost funny, how quick, how wet.

I patiently unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off of him while he looked at me with a gaze I couldn't quite make anything of, he just looked at me while he let me work on him. My hands touched his chest and my eyes examined his torso, his skin was warm and his gaze on me gave me confidence like he wanted me back as much I wanted him.

I was forgetting my own desperation for his touch as my hand traveled behind his back, trailing down to his spine and he looked at me as he cut a sharp breath in and I felt good seeing him giving in to me. His arms surrounded mine unclasping my bra in a second and he threw it off on the floor.

I half expected him to grab me and grope my breast but he swept me in his arms as his vaguely pink mouth pressed against mine and instead of hastily grabbing me, his mouth simply rested against mine and it was worse, much more intoxicating. I, on instinct coiled my arms against his neck.

As my tongue demanded entrance and he smiled before letting me, and in a second, roles were reversed, the romantic was gone. He took control and pressed his mouth harder on me with his thumb and finger pressing my nipple and my nails dug deeper in his neck. "Joon...", I on instinct called out, as I gasped for breath but he didn't let me.

He was hard against me and I grinded next to him which seemed to please him while he left my mouth, burning with a wanting for more while my sex clenched as he took control of my body putting his arms around my back and they were free to go anywhere. I wouldn't dare stop him.

A second later, he laid me on the bed and hovered over me before taking my shorts off in a whirl and pushed my underwear off me that it didn't seem reusable. I anticipated his actions but he pushed a thumb into my bottom without no warning and I clutched the sheets, a yell escaping my mouth. My fingers curled meanwhile his other arm grabbed my breast cupping it and a second later his forefinger and middle finger slipped inside of me and my grip on the sheets tightened.

"Shh", he hissed in my ear and I hadn't realized a moan had escaped my mouth. My whole body rocked in less then a minute and I couldn't control my voice, I gasped for breath and I moaned even louder then before. "I didn't take you for a screamer ___", Namjoon seemed amused while embarrassment washed over me as I laid exposed in front of him.

"Let me go down on you", I told him and he looked taken aback as I pushed myself up.

"Do you really want to?", he asked and I shifted closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I would love to", I told him. "Do you want me to?", I asked him.

"Yeah, I mean yeah", he said when his phone rang echoing in the room and his face flushed into irritation as he looked at me and I nodded gesturing him to take it. He took it out of his pocket and answered it. With every word he spoke, his irritation grew. He hung up the phone call. "Where's the wardrobe?", he asked me and my eyes pointed behind him.

Namjoon opened my wardrobe and took out a very lose t-shirt of his choice from my stack of comfortable clothes. He held my arms and slipped the t-shirt on me, pulling me close. He stroked my face and he smiled in my face which forced me to smile as well.

"Am I suppose to expect something from you or should I forget this?", I asked him as his fingers tucked the few strands of my hair behind my ear.

"You're supposed to expect everything, don't dare forget it", he whispered in my ear, nibbling on it and I couldn't help but giggle. "I want to talk to you but I've to go now and I hate it", he smiled at me.

"Okay, go", I told him and he chuckled before letting me off him and he wore his shirt back on.

After seeing him off and taking a shower, I laid back on the couch in the living room thinking about everything that had happened. I didn't regret it, I wasn't thinking much about it anyway.

The guys I'd sex with or made out with, I disliked them because of their narcissism. I appreciated my ability to find guys that were a-grade assholes. I've always had this feeling that I am lacking in some sense with other people. I look normal, like I should but I get this insecurity when taking my clothes off.

I didn't knew what Namjoon thought about it and asking him would be weird. No one who knows me like him would think I am this insecure or anxious about this stuff but then a major part of it has to do with my aura, I guess?

________________

I took a bite of the sandwich that I held in my hand as I walked around the second set just nearby to the first one. I stood afar, taking a good look, even though the storyboard fits the sights I still need to frame out a rough sketch work in my head.

I took another bite staring at the beach and the path to it and then back to the set that we'd build up by man power. It was pretty accurate in my eyes but I wanted to hear from my assistant director.

I took the walkie talkie out from the pocket of my denim and pressed the centre button, "Jae-chan, where are you?"

In a second he reverted, "Ah sunbae I am near the gripper".

"Come to the road that leads to the beach", I said, before shoving the walkie talkie down in my pocket.

The sea met the sky at the far point of the horizon and how the world is full of these illusions which are not real we know but we still believe. After all there's beauty in things that you don't get. Vastness maybe?

Sea and sky — the two melancholic blues.

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan broke the chain of my thoughts and I glanced at him before looking at the sea. His breath was heavy, I could tell he ran here.

"You could have walked, Chan-ah", I said, smiling. He was really young and passionate about filmmaking but also a little silly. He's cute.

"Ah it's okay. Did you need something?", he asked politely and I shook my head. I liked the input of many people on the same thing, it showed the number of opinions that could centre around one thing that you make in a different context which is then perceived in another.

"Do you think this is accurate in terms of the story board?", I asked him and he seemed lost in thought.

"I would say slightly better because the storyboard is still animation and this is real so I would say better. I'm pretty sure it'll be good sunbae", he told me and I could feel a smile flush on my lips. "You are nervous, aren't you?", he asked me.

"Yeah", I wrinkled my nose, turning around to walk off. I patted Jae Chan's back and he started walking with me.

"You don't have to be, and oh, he's here", he said assuring me and I knew who he meant by he.

My mind automatically went to the day in my apartment. Namjoon had messaged me after but he got busier with his work and I am not a text-er plus I'd a lot of things to do before I left Korea. It was, I didn't knew anything and I didn't want to think about it. I hoped he'd pretend nothing happened, please. But I knew he won't.

I sighed and as I entered the main set, around the vanity and food truck, the manager and Namjoon's staff members greeted me. After that, I mean impractically I wanted earth to open and swallow me. Living is hard anyway.

I'd a flight on the weekend, I'd to pack and I'd to get new boots but I'm just dumb because I'm trying to think of other things. I need a new nail paint, do I? I looked at my nails which were painted black. Maybe grey?

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan shook me and I looked at him. He gestured me to look up front and Namjoon was right there looking like Namjoon.

"Hi", I awkwardly waved at him.

"Hi", he flashed his dimple smile at me. His dimple smile hits me.

"You can get the makeup and hair done, I've a few things to recheck", I excused myself. This is awkward. This is so awkward. I hate it.

Even though I had that awkwardness lingering around but we were nearing to the end of the shoot which went really good because everyone worked so hard. It was mostly one-takes and the lighting supported the whole setting making it so easier for us to finish.

Moreover, it was a while since I had done a music video so it felt good being back on a set like this. Namjoon looked really good with the styling and although I knew the outfits pre-shoot, he still looked better then I'd imagined him to look which enhanced the whole vibe of the music video. He owned earthly tones.

That's why casting and styling is so important. Very much. Makes a gigantic difference.

"What's wrong with you?", I didn't notice he was standing next to me with a small fan in his hands while we prepped for the last shot.

"What's wrong with me?", I asked him, as I adjusted the frame in the main camera. I didn't want this conversation especially right now, especially here.

"I mean...you knowww?", I could feel his stare while I shifted the camera, something is wrong with this.

"I don't know", I said, without looking at him. I was unintentionally making him mad and nothing else.

"I was really scared that you'd say this and see, I mean, why can't you behave normal when I mention anything about us?", he hissed near me and I looked around. Luckily there was no one in our proximity to hear this conversation.

"I-I, Namjoon", I exclaimed, vaguely pointing at the setting hoping we could do this later and I could explain that I would love us but he needs to understand that I won't even be in Korea as much as he thinks I would be and that's why it won't work out.

"I don't care", he eyed me.

"I do. I care, okay? There's no us to begin with and I know I was stupid enough to ask you what I should expect out of, what would you call it, we made out. That's that", I tried being really slow and I could feel annoyance in his sight.

"Made out! Okay, okay fine. I can't believe I deal with you. You're the one who doesn't text or call or even respond to it and that's bare minimum ___", he pondered and I internally rolled my eyes.

I was leaving on the weekend. I was always leaving. That's it. "I don't have to and I have a life Namjoon. I've been working non stop all this time. I don't expect you to understand", I said, standing up from my seat while I called for the head DOP from the walkie talkie.

"You don't want to be understood ___", Namjoon said, grabbing me from my arm and stopping me. He wasn't wrong. A few eyes snapped and I forced a smile immediately. "I like you, I like you a lot. Deal with it", he walked past me.

Deal with it.

As if.

Very abruptly, the last shot rolled in and it was over. The music video was done in a day. It was originally a two day sketch but we had to narrow it down to one day because of Namjoon's schedule and it was worrisome because it did seem impossible but things went smoothly and it was successfully over.

I told Jae Chan to wrap the filming site, though most of it was done while I was present. I picked my bag from a table to leave, kept right ahead from the vanity. Namjoon had left, I guess. I wasn't sure because after the last shot he was angry. He had his jaw clenched all that time, he barely managed to keep it out on the music video.

He was like this, his anger was pretty evident and that hadn't changed.

I like you. I like you a lot.

I couldn't wrap my head around that thought. Did he like me all this time? It sounded pretty crazy to me. I had never thought about anything with Namjoon. He was a friend I could like but I didn't, I had never expected anything out of my acquaintance with him anyway.

"You ate?", his deep voice made me look at him who stood at the steps of the vanity. He hadn't left yet.

"No", I said. He had changed into his normal clothes, the makeup was gone but he still looked great. His natural complexion was shining as the set lights fell onto his face. It made me surer how Namjoon needed someone who could be there rather then somebody who's never there.

"Come eat something", he said calmly. He looked much composed then before.

"I am not hungry", I stated just when he darted towards me. He held me by my forearm, dragging me into the vanity which was empty except for us. A few dishes were laid out on the table in front of the small couch.

"Eat and leave", he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of the mirrors fidgeting with his phone while I quietly sat on the couch. I just wanted it to be over but I'd no appetite so I kept staring at the couple of Italian dishes which were pasta, carbonara I guess, rissoto and also jjangmyeong. "Just eat anything ___", he said, without bothering to look at me.

"I don't really have an appetite", I said, throwing my head back and looking at the ceiling of the vanity.

"What you've is a habit of skipping meals", he eyed me.

I looked at him. "Do you remember everything? Like literally everything?", I asked him as curiosity brimmed in my eyes.

"You don't?", he asked me back. "Well, for me, yeah I do. I did remember every thing but I should probably forget now. I didn't really asked to work with you because I wanted something but I can't say I didn't hope", he locked his phone and kept it on the space in front him. "I mean, we did had something. We did have something a few days ago. You can't exactly call me a friend and I've never seen you as one. The moment you walked in trying to fix the mess on the set since then till now I can't say I didn't hope you'd look at me the same way", he said, bringing all the memories back alive, but it was true, I never looked at him the way he'd wanted me to, hell, I couldn't believe it one bit. "It's true", he said, as if he just read my mind.

It was, it didn't made sense to me. How could he? Why would he? I uh, I think shit's wrong with me because even now I can't seem to focus on someone who confessed their feelings and that someone being Namjoon from all people.

I remember when I was one of the assistant directors under the director for one of the most low-key and low budget project. They didn't had many resources and our firm wasn't doing well either. We always had to come up with hacks, unknown locations for shooting...it was always so hard. We didn't had any respect in the industry.

It was two companies in one boat at the end of bankruptcy and we were so young and such good friends. I knew the rest of the members too but I kind of had a certain vibe with Namjoon. He could get me without having to speak.

I locked at him, his face was fixated on me and I could like him, in fact I did love him not romantically, I just did. I had a lot of love for him. He was caring for the people around him and I loved talking to him. He never once made anyone feel like he was a celebrity back then and a global celebrity now well yeah. He did deserve someone who could be here for him.

He stood up and walked towards me and my eyes followed him. He took a seat next to me and I could see he picked a bowl up but I didn't see which one because I couldn't stop looking at him. Namjoon took a significant amount and extended it to me and I looked at the noodles for a second and then at him. He just nodded and I ate it.

It was good.

"Thanks", I said, wiping the corners of my mouth with my fingers.

"Do you want me to feed you all the way or can you eat your own?", he asked me.

"I will eat", I told him and he gave me the bowl so I could eat on my own. "You ate?", I asked him and he instantly nodded.

"You're going somewhere, aren't you?", he asked me and I felt as if I've just been struck with something.

"Hmm", I said, my mouth almost filled. "And, I...I want to tell you something like adults and clear it. Namjoon you know my work and I am always not here, never. It's useless. Trust me on this, it's not like that but you know you'll need someone beside you and I can't be the one", I told him, calmly, before gulping water down.

"I know that but I'm okay with it. In fact, we would go hand in hand better because I can't take you out on exotic dates as well. This is what you get", he vaguely gestured at the vanity and I chuckled and he warmly smiled at me.

After a second, I spoke much seriously then before, "It will be hard and you know that. It'll be frustrating. You could hate me".

"If you've tired it with someone before, I am not exactly happy knowing this, but you shouldn't compare me with some random dude with a peculiar taste in leather clothing", he rolled his eyes, shifting his back comfortably.

"Hey! Don't be mean just because you see stuff on my Instagram", I scoffed and he maintained his long face.

"No really, what do you take me for? You think you won't have time for me? I won't have time for you", he went on.

"Namjoon", I dragged his name. His tendency to be sarcastic at odd moments is unmatched.

"Don't call my name like that", he stared at my eyes.

"Like what?", I asked him.

"Like you can love me", he said.

"I...you don't have to be like this", I said, keeping the empty bowl on the table.

"Give me a chance then, try it out. I would wait for you I promise", Namjoon took my hand in his and covered it with his warmth.

"Will I be able to...wait?", I looked away from him, thinking about it so hard.

"___ don't think too much. I promise, we'll be fine", he said, his hands travelling to my waist and before he could grab it. I screeched closer to him. I cupped his face and attached my lips to his, while his hands held on my body.

________________

My relationship with Namjoon was better then I imagined it. I tried my best to be there for him and he was surprisingly almost there for me but it wasn't exactly easy.

It was months and months of hardships and Namjoon was more needy then I thought him to be, he needed a lot of assurance. I don't understand the notion that he holds of everyone wanting me so he needs to be extra careful. I still don't get that his insecure ass doesn't trusts his own members, he won't let me meet them at all.

He was really different. He shifted from dominant to romantic in one second. I loved that. I kind of missed it so much.

He held my hand I could feel it by the way his skin felt against mine, he whirled me around and in a second his hand rested on my waist as he urged me to walk next to him. He was in a perfect disguise and I looked at him. I could tell he was smiling beneath his black mask.

"See, this is why I don't trust other guys! How could you let someone do this to you in the midst of the road in a foreign country?", he asked me.

"No stranger would confidently do this to anyone in a foreign country", I playfully hit him on his leg and he stopped, pretending to be gravely hurt. "I can't believe you", I looked at him as I went with his act. I supported him in standing completely. In a second, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"I missed you", he softly whispered in my ear.

"I missed you too", I whispered back, softly. I pulled him in an empty alley and pulled his mask down. "I need you to do something", I told him, nibbling on his ear and I could feel my skin feel the heat that it yearned for since a couple of months before him going on tour.

"Right now?", he asked surprised.

"Yeah, right now", I said and I could feel him harden against my pelvis.

"You are...so, not right now. Let's go to your hotel room. I'm still famous", he pulled me closer and I chuckled. He turned me around, pulling his mask down, he kissed me hard. His mouth pressed against mine. I held him tightly and he gasped. "I love you", he softly said before pulling his mask up.

"I, you", I held his hand again.

#bts #bts fanfic #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic

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hotchscvm · 3 years

Text

thank u, next (ft. loki)

Warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy, mentions of sex

Word count: 4.5k

Summary: A new team member in the group shakes things up for the super soldier.

Or: In which Steve casts you aside for a Carter only to regret his decision when he sees you with the God of Mischief.

"Yeet."

Swiveling your chair, you saw the empty pint of ice cream hit garbage can, bouncing off the rim and dropping on the floor with a light thump. You looked at Tony, shaking your head. "You've been hanging out with Peter too much."

"Why, thank you." Tony replied, smirking at you. "So, tell me, you sexy vixen, how do you feel with Thor bringing Loki? You were quiet during the whole argument that almost ended with Barton ripping out his eye."

You shrugged, the heels Tony had bought earlier drawing your attention to your feet. "I'm fine. I don't really care, I mean, I wasn't with you guys when New York happened so I don't really think I get to have an opinion about whether the mind-controlled God of Lies gets a spot in the team."

"You realize your on the team, right? I'm pretty sure your opinion matters especially with the mass murderer joining." Tony replied, accidentally hitting himself with the candy cane in his hands. "I really thought you were going to side with Cap on this one. You always do."

It wasn't a secret that Steve Rogers wasn't completely on board with the plan. That was pushing it; in other words: Steve Rogers despised the plan. If he could kill it, he would've. When Thor had proposed the plan to bring Loki on the team (a punishment from Odin himself)—trying to convince everyone he was "good" now—less than a handful had let him continue speaking. The rest wanted to riot. You had just sat there, a smirk on your face as you watched the six of them fight with each other while Fury shook his head, looking like a disappointed father.

When everyone had came to an agreement on Loki's trial period, there had been pages of rules on what he was restricted on doing including magic and stabbing. Of course, it was very specific so even the God of Mischief couldn't find a loophole. Maybe he could if he tried, which he probably will.

Clicking your tongue, you shrugged, ignoring the little pang in your chest. "Not on this. I'm smart enough to see that there's more reward than risk to have Loki on the team. For example: he's not bad to look at."

Tony choked on his candy cane, coughing up a large piece. With wide eyes, he studied you in silence, trying to figure out if you had been joking. "Are you serious? We should bring you to Helen so you can get your head checked. There's a chance you might have a concussion from the last mission."

"You have eyes, you can see how regal he is despite not genuinely being born royal. And those cheekbones..." you trailed off, biting your lip at Loki's handsome features. Tony raised an eyebrow, slowly shaking his head. "Not that his perfect bone structure justifies all the people he's killed. I'm just very observant being an avenger and all."

"Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure." Tony mumbled, leaning back on his chair, his eyes narrowing after your confession. "Ms. Natalia Romanoff didn't get the chance to tell me what happened between you and old Capsicle."

Rolling your eyes, you spun around in your chair, facing away from the nosy billionaire. "There's not that much to tell. We talked, we liked each other, then the sun came up and reality set in as the form of Sharon Carter. It didn't take long for him to ditch me to go for Peggy's niece. Anyways, been there, done that. People change."

"You're not the same girl I met." Tony stated. "On that note, Rogers' old brain is still defrosting and he's getting older so I don't think he knows how stupid he is...yet."

"And I'm not going to wait for him to find out." you muttered, a loud sound coming from the big yard. Looking through the garage window, you saw the blinding light before two figures in different colored capes appeared, the blinding light ruining the fresh-cut grass. Beaming at Tony, you got up. "Want to plan a party with me?"

"You say that like I'd have the ability to say no. Tonight?" Tony replied, grinning at thought of loud electronic dance music and booze.

Getting up, the stilettos clicked on the floor, your perfect pedicure peeking through the hole. Smiling, you walked towards the door. "Well, we are in the presence of two Gods. I think it's only fair we celebrate like it."

"I'm putting Party in the USA on the track-list!"

Rushing to the lawn where the rest of the team gathered, your mood was lightened by the sight of the golden haired retriever in disguised as a jacked God. Ignoring the others, you threw yourself at Thor, the God of Thunder catching you, arms tightening around your body. You let out a breathless laugh, momentarily forgetting your idiotic plan to avoid Steve. "Thor!"

Thor guffawed, lifting you off the ground, shouting your name in glee before letting you breathe again. "My favorite avenger! Miss me?"

"Duh." you responded, glancing at Loki, who had magically changed into an all-black suit, his shoulder length raven-colored hair slicked back. His eyes narrowed slightly at the team who had defeated him. He looked even better in person. "So, that's Loki."

Natasha spoke up before either Asgardian could. She stepped closer, observing him with you. "Not sure. He isn't as smug as before—"

"And he's missing those horrendous reindeer horns he was wearing." Clint chimed in, crossing his arms. His hate for Loki—which had increased when he found out the man who once controlled him was coming to the team—was almost as deep as Steve's. "He looks like a witch in that black suit."

Thor snickered, releasing Loki from the handcuffs that held him. "As you all know, my adopted brother's punishment from Father is to help Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Loki understands all the rules, and he will so follow them accordingly. Isn't that right, brother?"

Loki rolled his eyes, sighing before reluctantly nodding. "Yes, I will."

"Let me make this clear, Loki." Steve stepped up, Sharon right behind him, face composed. You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes at the couple. "If you break one rule, no matter how small, you will be sent back to Asgard and face Odin's alternate punishment. Just so you're clear, we won't hesitate to send you back."

The God of Mischief smirked, feeling smug knowing he could push the super soldier's buttons. "Of course, Captain. I wouldn't dream of breaking the rules enforced."

Everyone could sense the sarcasm and mockery in his voice, all of them tensing. Thor sighed, clapping his brother on the back, the force making Loki take a steps forward. "Come on, brother. I'll show you your quarters before you get punched by Lady Natasha."

Without waiting for Loki to answer, Thor practically pulled Loki's arm off, pulling him towards the building, crossing the ruined lawn that Tony would bitch about later. Everyone followed them, staying a few feet back, wary of the new team member. You noticed Steve stealing glances at you, quickly moving away from Sharon's side and made his way to you.

Without being too obvious, you squeezed your way between Bruce and Natasha, snaking your arms between there's, hoping it would give Steve the impression not to talk to you. Ever. Natasha threw you a sympathetic smile, squeezing your wrist while Bruce raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.

Thor continued talking about the new compound, leading his brother to the entrance while pointing out installments that would've seemed impressive to a simple "midgardian."

He might've unconsciously murdered people but he kinda thicc.

At that exact moment, Loki turned around, his piercing blue eyes meeting yours. His smirk grew, glancing between you and Steve before turning back. It had been so quick that you weren't sure it even happened. The group scattered as soon as they stepped a foot inside; Bruce heading to the lab, Steve following him while Sharon split and headed up to Medbay, Natasha hitting the gym with Clint, leaving you alone with Thor and Loki.

Unfortunately, Thor's room had been across yours, the empty room next to yours becoming Loki's so both a spy and a god could keep an eye on the trickster. Both Tony and Steve had fought on that, Steve concerned about your safety while Tony argued back, telling him you could keep yourself safe. If not, Thor was there. That had angered you; Steve didn't think you were capable of fighting off Loki if it came to it, and that made you roll your eyes at him, exiting the room.

"...and this will be your quarters. Decorate it any way you want, just no magic." Thor continued, reaching the area of your rooms. It was a big arc, the area looking like a semi-circle with three doors spaced evenly out. "My chambers is across Lady Y/N's, so we won't have any problems. She's a smart one, brother. Anything else to add, Sunshine?"

You ignored the nickname, eyes narrowing at the black-suited man. "There's a party tonight 'celebrating' the addition to the team. It starts at 8 so don't be late or else Tony will have your head. Also, if you wake me up before seven in the morning, watch your back 'cause I hold grudges."

Giving Thor a smile, you head to your room, closing the door with a sigh. On the other side, you heard Loki chuckle once. "I like her."

"She's serious. She almost ripped my heart out the one time I accidentally woke her from her slumber." Thor added, the clap on his brother's back loud. "Get ready for the party, Loki."

Loki had been forced in his room by his brother, the door closing after him. He listened carefully, hearing you plop on your bed. He bit back a smirk, a plan unfolding in his brain. With a swift gesture of a finger, the room had been decorated, the hideous white theme changing into an exact copy of Loki's bedroom in Asgard.

The day went by fast as you wasted it away planning the party with Tony, who had, in no way, helped. You had ran off to your room once the people Tony had hired came, setting up everything in the main room. As you walked to the three-bedroom wing, you saw Steve rocking back and forth in front of your door, his hands in his pocket while Thor gushed about his flying hammer.

Relief washed over his face as soon as he spotted you, and you almost turned around, wishing you had gone to Natasha's room to get ready.

Steve called out your name, abruptly ending his conversation with Thor. As you walked closer, you could see the concern etched on his face. "Hey, are you okay?"

Thor watched your reaction, your face fighting the urge to make a face at America's sweetheart. Maneuvering your body, you slid between the two men to get to your room. "I'm fun-fucking-tastic. Thor, remind Loki about the party. I didn't spend the whole day with Tony for Loki to miss his own party."

"I'll be there, darling." Loki chimed in, his head poking out of his bedroom. Everyone turned to look at him, seeing the not-so-subtle wink he gave you.

Ignoring Steve's clenched fists, you moved past them, entering your room. Before closing the door, you said, "Tony requests the presence of all three of you, by the way. There's no way you're getting out of this. See you at 8!"

With a sighed of relief, you closed the door in Steve's face, the loud slam cutting off whatever he was about to interject. He could talk to Sharon about whatever shit he was dealing with, the girl he chose. You were no longer someone he could vent to after the shit he pulled, leading you on before leaving for Sharon Carter. It was then that you came to the decision to not love so easily.

Getting ready for the party took longer than you thought it would, the hot shower burning your skin to the point your skin started to redden. Your mind wandered to Loki, curios about the wink. Maybe it was his way of messing with people, a loophole that had not been included in the agreement. Realizing how inappropriate it was to think about the God while showering, you quickly turned the water off and stepped out.

Knowing Natasha, she's be disappointed if you didn't dress up like your inner slut, the one that got fucked up in Tokyo, and the petty hoe who would do everything to make Steve Rogers regret his decision. Well, you weren't going to let your sestra down.

The sultry, tight red dress was almost too short to be considered decent. With it's low cropped top, your tits we're begging for attention, the bra non-existent. Your new motto: protect the city, free the titties. The matching red stilettos would've been a pain if you hadn't started wearing them so early in your life. You let your hair down, running hand through it before slapping some natural makeup on your face, trying not to look desperate for attention.

It was around 8:15 when you finally finished, already exhausted by the amount of work you had to put on for others, but mostly for yourself. Either Tony or Natasha would come barreling through your door if you were going to be any later. Rushing, you took a quick look in the mirror before opening your door, nearly bumping into the God of Mischief.

He was dressed in a black buttoned-downed dress shirt with matching dress pants. Like before, his hair was slicked back, the shoulder length, raven hair looking silky and sexy. You both eye each other, eyes appreciating the sight in front of them. It wasn't until you finally met his eyes that he cleared his throat, a smug smile covering half his face.

"Would you mind accompanying me to the party, Lady Y/N? My brother is an idiot and cannot give a proper tour with his minuscule organ that he calls a brain. As of that, I do not know where this celebration is held." Loki explained, holding out his arm, waiting for you to take it. He raised an eyebrow while you hesitated. "If not, I could just follow you and everyone would assume I'm planning to have your head."

"Jesus Christ, you and Thor are so fucking dramatic." you grumbled, taking Loki's arm, your arm snaking around his. "Must run in the family, huh?"

"I'm adopted."

"I don't care."

Loki darkly chuckled, feeling your warm body against his, letting himself grow closer, enough that he could feel more of you but not enough that you would've noticed. "I sincerely hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you look rather ravishing, darling."

"Have you ever thought of cutting your hair?" you replied, loving the way Loki's smug expression wavered—probably expecting a compliment—before composing himself. "You'd look less like Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean."

"I don't understand." Loki said, leading you towards the elevator. For someone who claimed they didn't know where they were headed, he had the sense of knowing where everything was.

You waved the pop culture reference away, pushing the elevator button. "You wouldn't. Is Thor already at the party?"

"I'm quite positive."

The rest of the walk to the main room was quiet, neither of you making small talk as you led him. More like, he led you. You were suspicious he had stayed back and faked not knowing the compound in order to mess with you. But you waved that thought away, focus on getting distracting yourself from Steve.

You could hear the party before seeing it, the big room had been half full, not too much, not too little, yet you had been surprised considering how extra Tony could be. Letting go of Loki's arm, you walked to the bar where Natasha was sipping a glass of whiskey, ignoring the rest of the party. She pulled out a bottle of gin as you arrived, raising an eyebrow at your accompanied date.

"Before you say anything, he didn't know where the party was so he asked me to guide him. Nicely if I might add." you said, pushing back the bottle, settling on a bottle of water instead.

Natasha smirked, watching Loki interact with his brother, a frown deepening on his face. "He knows where everything is, Thor gave him the whole tour while you were with Tony. Can't believe you took the bait."

"Ugh." you grumbled, wishing you could forget about tomorrow and drown your problems in alcohol but the last hangover nearly killed you.

"Stevie doesn't look to happy with you showing up with Loki." Natasha noticed, the smirk widening as she watched Steve's glare grew more lethal as Loki's grin got bigger. "This is so much better than America's Next Top Models fails. Do you wanna bet that one of them will punch the other before the party is over?"

"Daddy, chill." you mimicked, turning to see how enraged old Capsicle is. But with the blonde besides him, looking up him in both wonder and worry, he had no right to be angry at Loki for attending a party that had been thrown for him, despite the many people he murdered—while being controlled. "He can't seriously still be sour about Loki joining."

The redhead giggled, a little drunk from the amount of alcohol she already consumed. "I don't think that's what he's so broody about, not anymore at least. He was smiling until he saw you on Loki's arm."

"Ain't my fault he chose Peggy's niece over me, meaning he doesn't get to be jealous whether Loki is my date or a walker for these killer stilettos." you muttered, secretly loving and hating the jealousy that oozed out of Steve Rogers. Even his blonde date had noticed. "Look at these heels, aren't they gorgeous?"

"Almost as gorgeous as you." Natasha replied, winking just before she drowned the rest of her drink. She winced a little at the taste.

"How many of those have you had?" you wondered, eyeing the spy. After the worst hangover of both your lives, Natasha had made you swear to never let her get that drunk again. Although with the rate she was going, you feared you had been too late.

She shrugged, taking your bottle of water. "Four. Oh, look, here comes Steve."

Before you could ditch, Steve leaned against the counter, his blue buttoned down shirt matching his blue eyes. Natasha not-so-subtly walked to the other side of the bar, motioning for Bruce to keep her company, although knowing her, she'd listen to every word.

"Rogers," you greeted coldly, looking everywhere but him. He tensed at your cold greeting, the frown looking permanently pressed on his face. "Enjoying the party?"

"Yeah."

Lie.

"Good."

You sat there for a good two minutes before he cleared his throat, shifting his weight nervously from one foot onto the other. Steve coughed in his fist. "So...living near Loki isn't too much trouble, is it? He causing any trouble, yet?"

"Sweet as an angel." you replied sarcastically, wishing you were anywhere but here. Loki caught your eye, raising a hand to wave and the group that had been brave enough to be near him, gasped in shock, the noises audible across the room. Their reactions made you chuckle.

Steve cleared his throat, this time louder. "Would you like to dance?"

"Ask your girlfriend." you fired back, satisfied by the hurt on his face. After the stunt he pulled, leading you on only to stomp of your heart, you wanted to be selfish and make him suffer just a little bit. Thankful, Loki came to your rescue.

Ignoring Steve, he held out his arm once again, a smile playing on his lips as he took in the tense situation between you and Steve. But before he could utter a single word, Sharon decided it was the perfect time to come looking for Steve. She assessed the situation, awkwardly noting Loki's presence.

"Er, hello." Sharon said, standing in false bravery. She wouldn't admit it, but she was afraid of the God of Mischief.

Loki gave her a curt nod and held out a hand to you instead, easily fitting yours in his. He murmured your name, softly kissing your knuckles. "Would you like to dance? This is the first song that came on that has not made me want to tear my ears off."

"Why, yes, I would." you agreed with a grin, moving your body close to Loki as you reached the unofficial dance floor, everyone's eyes on the both of you, with shock and slight fear. You would've cackled at their reactions—and it looked like Loki wanted to, too—if you hadn't been raised with manners. "Thank you."

Loki raised an eyebrow, surprised by the words. "For what, if I may ask?"

"Saving me back there. I don't need that kind of drama in my life. Not anymore." you explained, drinking in the warmth of his arm wrapping around your waist as you both slowly swayed to the slow song.

The raven-haired God smiled—not the smug smirk he wore, but a genuine one that Thor hadn't seen his brother wear for a few years now. "My pleasure. A lady like you deserves someone who'll give her his undivided attention. Any suitor would be lucky to have a tenth of your attention."

A coping mechanism: you rolled your eyes but you couldn't help the small smile that forced itself on you lips. You bit it back, hoping no one had noticed.

Loki had. And he meant every word he said.

By the end of the night, you found yourself naked, against the wall and legs wrapped around Loki's waist. Lips crashed against one another, soft kisses trailing down necks, leaving little love marks that would surely be dark. But at the moment, you didn't care. Not when Loki whispered sweet nothings in your ear as he took you from behind, above, underneath, and even on the side. You had both been teasing each other at the party and now you had given in, no matter the consequences.

—

Annoyed Steve had missed the date he had asked you on, you walked up to his room, heels clicking. You had waited for him for over two hours, texted him and getting no replies, leaving the restaurant with the humiliation of being stood up.

But as you neared his door, you heard crying. But it wasn't Steve. Peeking inside, you saw Sharon. Pretty, talented Sharon. Her eyes were red, tears steaming down her cheeks while Steve hugged her shoulders, resting his chin on her head as he comforted her. Jealousy and hurt knocked the breath out of you.

You waited.

And waited.

And it happened. Leaning in slowly, he kissed her. Softly, like he had kissed you. And she kissed him back, finding comfort in the kiss.

Heart breaking in two, you left, leaving the door open. The couple broke their kiss long enough to see you walk away through the slit of the door. Steve hung just head, feeling terrible. But Sharon had helped him as he had. This time, they hadn't stopped at kissing, forgetting the girl who had her heart broken by the man who claimed he would never hurt her.

Steve knew it was over between you two, but he could focus his attention on caring as much as he wanted to when Sharon kept kissing him. He did try to apologize only to learn you had went to visit Thor in Asgard, leaving him to feel sorry for himself and his decisions. Yet, he still found temporary comfort in Sharon's arms.

—

You woke to the warmth of Loki's arms around you. Opening your eyes, you found yourself tangled limbs with the God of Lies, your hair a mess, a hand over his chest and a leg over his waist. Your cheek rested on the crook of his neck, fitting perfectly as if he was made for you.

"Good morning." Loki whispered, stroking your hair with one hand, the other softly massaging your thigh. "Sleep well?"

Nuzzling into his neck, you snorted at the irony. "Don't know, considering we didn't do much sleeping."

Loki chuckled, pressing a soft kiss on your head. "Touché. It would only be fair of me to apologize for the love marks I left on your soft skin last night. Forgive me but I could not help myself."

Gasping, you jumped up, looking at the vanity mirror across your bed to find your collarbone, neck, and the top of your breast covered in Loki's hickeys. He looked rather proud of himself than sorry. "Loki!"

"Please note my apologies are genuine when they are directed towards you. Although, I have to admit, I'm quite proud of myself. It's my best art." Loki announced, bringing himself up on his elbows, eyes ravaging your naked flesh, littered with his marks.

Noticing the difference between your bodies, you quickly turned around to see the reflections had been right; Loki's body remained unmarked. "I swear to god I left hickeys and bite marks all over you last night."

"You tried but got rather mad when my skin healed itself." Loki explained, pulling you back in his warm arms. The soft gesture surprised you, the whole situation coming into light. You had slept with Thor's murderous brother. Loki read your thoughts. "Don't be like that, love. What what I can remember, you enjoyed yourself last night quite immensely. If it will make you feel better, I can show all the love bites you made the night before."

Thankful you hadn't drank anything last night, you had been so happy to not wake up with a hangover and Loki. Turning to face him, you raise an eyebrow. "What?"

With a smirk, his chest gleamed green for a second before it uncovered layers and layers of hickeys, and reddening bite marks. It was identical to yours. You gasped in shocked while Loki stared at you in amusement, his arms tightening. "You did a little bit of damage. I'm proud."

"Holy shit—" you were cut off by Thor and Steve bursting into your room, the sudden motion making you cover up your naked chest with a shriek. The two men's jaws dropped as they took in the scene, Loki's bare chest covered with the evidence from last night, his arms wrapped around you while you stared at them with wide eyes. "Knock, goddamnit!"

Both of them stood in silence, their brains not processing what was in front of them. Steve's eyes had mirrored yours from when you caught him kissing Sharon, eyes watering, you could see his heart breaking just by making eye contact. But at that moment, you couldn't find yourself to care, not with Loki's arms around you.

"What—" Thor began.

Loki smirked, kissing your bare shoulder. "Hello, brother."

next >

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #loki #loki x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x sharon carter #marvel #captain america #angst #jealousy #chris evans x reader

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milkytheholy1 · 3 years

Text

Sitcom Reality: Part 3

A/N: Howdy! Sorry this was quite a wait, hopefully people will still want to read it! Enjoy!

Starwars masterlist. Ultimate masterlist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The door nudged open, Tech wobbling about on one leg while the other kneed the door to be able to accompany his body and the bags that covered it. Once through, he reorganised himself and threw on a fake smile, but the conversation that fluttered through the house seemed to be taking place from outside.

He shuffled into the kitchen, unceremoniously dropping some of the shopping bags onto the kitchen counter. Releasing a sigh, he turned to the double doors thrown open to the world, the cool breeze of nature rustling the legs of his trousers. He caught your fearful eyes, laughing nervously with a wide, fake smile adorning your lips. You moved around heavily in a feeble attempt to entertain your new guests, something you were never good at; unlike Wrecker.

You made eye contact with Tech, who notably took joy in your embarrassment but pushed it aside and nodded for you to come over. Miraculously, you made it into the house without alerting Monica and Ralph to your hesitancy.

"What took you so long, I've been stood there talking about car engines for over 40 minutes!" you growled at him, being wary to keep your voice down. Tech opened his mouth ready to defend himself but immediately got distracted, "Car engines, you say? Would they differ from the Maraduars, do you think? Actually, there is a high probability that they wouldn't fuel enough to power the Havock, especially when-"

"Would you quit it with the nerd talk for just a moment," you flailed your arms out at him, "We've got two people in our back garden who could blow our cover any minute now, if this 'BBQ' doesn't go well we'll fail our mission!" you stressed out.

"Fear not, for your saviour and amazing husband-" you couldn't retain the blush that flooded to your cheeks at the mere mention of being romantically tied to the man in front of you, "-have brought the necessary supplies for a perfect 'BBQ'." he stated with such confidence and ease. He waved his arms over to the four large bags piled haphazardly on the counter, definitely proud of himself.

You waltzed around the counter, lifting a finger ever so lightly under the plastic carrier. Gaping widely, you stared at the junk in front of you with an emotion you didn't think could exist, most certainly a new one that you had just developed. Tech stood beside you, still not understanding how everything he brought was practically useless.

"So, am I good or am I good?" he boasted, a cocky smirk marked on his lips. You had never seen him excrete such behaviour, maybe this Earth planet was changing Tech into a more confident man. You shook your head, realising you had gotten lost in the smooth brownness of his eyes, only amplified by his glasses.

Letting your quiet love for Tech go, you immediately went back to a panicked state of mind, "No this is not good, I know what a BBQ is now and it certainly didn't have any of this...stuff." You prodded some of the components Tech had managed to wrangle together, amongst the group was a hosepipe tube and some eggs.

"Wha- well how was I supposed to know what you wanted me to get, it's not as though I can read your mind like a Jedi! And without my datapad, I am unable to do significant research per my usual standards."

You flicked your head back up to the screen doors, noticing the subtle angsty movements of your guests. With daunting thoughts of failure, you pushed Tech out of the kitchen and towards the garden, "What are you doing?" he seethed, body resembling a plank of wood with how straight he was.

"You need to go entertain Monica and Ralph while I think of something to...cook."

"You? Cooking? I don't think I've ever heard those two things in the same sentence before." he chided, stopping you abruptly moments away from the back door. He turned around to see your irritated face, pout displaced amongst rosy cheeks, "I can cook, for your information, I just choose not to."

"I'm sure you can cook perfectly well, but results from your previous endeavours in the Havock's kitchen says otherwise."

"Will you just go already!" you huffed out, patting your hands against his chest, though the action was meant to seem harsh you didn't even send him stumbling. Tech sighed, plucking his glasses from his face to clean them with the ends of his shirt, "You do know I'm not one for entertaining, that role is much more suited for Wrecker or Omega."

He placed the circular lenses back on top of his nose with delicate hands, finally being able to see you without the fuzziness. Though when he did see your evil glare and folded arms he quickly changed his mind, "Though I have been known to tell some jokes from time to time."

He practically ran to the door to escape you. With that out of the way, you clasped your hands together and moved back into the kitchen to see what you could conjure up. You knew you had some meat in the freezer from your supply run earlier, but you had no clue how each would taste and therefore had no clue as to which would suit a BBQ.

As such, you just went for a concoction of everything. Searching through the bags that Tech had brought back, you saw the edge of what appeared to be a cooking book, thank you Tech you heaved, pulling the book out to display its pages.

With your limited knowledge, you hastily put together some food. With two trays in hand, you rushed outside to grab Tech's attention, "Oh finally the food, I'd thought you'd forgotten about that by now." Monica laughed, only teasing you.

"Haha, of course not, I just wanted to make sure everything was...perfect before we began cooking." you hurried out a reply, feeling the beads of sweat sliver down your back and along your spine. Monica waved a hand in dismissal, "Oh you are spoiling us, (Y/N)." she beamed.

You dropped a tray onto the small table that sat between the couple, full of fruit and veg to munch on while the main course was on its way. With a now free hand, you gripped Tech's forearm and dragged him to the grill. Placing the meat tray down, which contained all sorts of things ranging from burgers to sausages, you implied you wanted him to cook.

"What? Me? I've never spent a day in my entire existence in front of such a device." he stared gormless at the shining, red hood of the BBQ. You opened the lid, both staring at it equally confused, "It's not a device it's a..thing."

"A thing?"

"Yeah, a thing. Just..turn some dials and flip some switches or whatever it is you do when you fly the ship, it's probably the same thing."

Tech turned to give you a side-eye, acutely aware that he couldn't damage your cutesy couples image to the lingering neighbours behind you. "If that's all you think I do while I pilot my ship then you clearly do not know me, I don't just flip some switches and turn some dials, it takes a lot of intelligent decisions to fly a-"

"Yeah, yeah, just make this hot and cook the food...Please?" you begged, Tech, although offended, abided by his principles and helped you. Taking the tray from your hand he turned back to the devi- thing in front of him and set to work.

Rushing past your guests, Monica's hand outstretched to stop you in your tracks, "(Y/N) you have been racing around here since we came by, why doncha take a seat, let's chat and get to know each other properly." You wanted to push her generosity away but found yourself being lulled by her battering eyes and calming tones. Taking a seat beside the couple in one of the four lawn chairs, you turned to her with apprehension, "W-well what would you like to know?"

Monica bound her knees together, hands braced against them as she quickly wracked her brain for some questions, though she had plenty in mind. Her lips were painted in a dark purple, shining a violet shade in the summer sun, her black hair was curled and framed beside her head.

"Now I am just hankering to know what brought you two to our lovely little town?"

"Oh, er, well, we just came to visit a friend that lived here and we just couldn't seem to keep away." You lied, but her widening grin seemed to believe it, "And who was that friend, might I ask?"

"Yeah, Monica here knows everyone in town." Ralph pipped in, flicking his attention between the two gossiping women and the man turning numerous dials at the grill. Pointing a finger towards Tech over his shoulder, Ralph announced: "I think I'll go see how're your husband is gettin' on."

Jumping from your chair with wide eyes, you sounded out to stop him, "Oh no, that's okay Ralph. Erm, Tech is just new to the whole gas thing, he usually uses charcoal."

"Well, I can go show 'im the ropes."

"It's really okay, I'm sure he'll get the hang of it in just a minute." you squeezed out, begging him with your eyes to sit back down. Monica looked unamused, with a grimace on her face she pulled her husband to sit, "Would you give it a rest, Ralph. If Tech needs any help I'm sure he'll call for it." Ever the doting husband, Ralph sat back with a huff and looked up towards the sky.

"Now where was I?" Monica thought aloud, "Ah yes," she snapped her fingers in remembrance, "How long have you and Tech been married, you seem to get along quite well." At the mention of his name, you looked over to gaze at him, his slim figure tightly fitting in the trousers he hated so dearly. His broad shoulders outlined perfectly in the button-up shirt he was wearing, the sleeves cuffed up just below his elbows to show off his bare arms and tensing muscles.

It was a miracle you weren't drooling, "(Y/N)?" Monica questioned, snapping you out of whatever Tech trance you were in. Cheeks dyed red, you stuttered out some lines you practised with Tech on the journey to this planet, "Me and Tech have been married for...er- three years now, and we're very happy together."

This felt wrong, talking about a relationship that wasn't even real, no matter how many times you dreamt it to be. Monica's voice rung out again, you already had familiarised yourself with her laugh the moment she stepped into your house, "You're lying about something, (Y/N)." she giggled, coming across as innocent.

"W-what?" you laughed out uncomfortably, your nails digging into the plastic of the lawn chair, "I-I don't quite understand?"

"I can tell, I've got an eye for these things. You're lying about something...now what is it?" Monica continued on, squinting her eyes at you as her smile grew wider. You stuttered out made-up words, scared to already be caught out while being here a few hours at least.

"Well- I, you see- erm-" You couldn't find the right words, how else do you tell someone that you're from another planet, hell another galaxy, and are looking for an alien who hid here away from an intergalactic mob? And your, quote-on-quote, husband is actually a clone that has a gazillion brothers that used to fight alongside people who could control shit with their mind!

"Hmmm?" Monica hummed, expecting an answer from you, "And the truth this time would be nice." she insisted. Just before you could open your mouth, Tech jumped in with a plateful of fully cooked meat, "Who's hungry?" he asked, "Finally, thought you were gonna make me starve!" Ralph chuckled out.

You shared an eerily look with Monica before Tech came over with a plate for you, he shared your seat and wrapped an arm around your waist, albeit apprehensively. You straighten up at his touch, catching Monica's fleeting eye, to soothe her soul you calmed yourself and relaxed against him; much to Tech's surprise.

"Are you okay, my dear?" Tech whispered to you, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. You nodded slowly, staring down at your food, "Yes, I'm fine." Though Tech knew you to never be a good liar, he let the trouble go and snacked on his food, a smile coming to his lips at the pleasant taste, "Guess I didn't do so bad after all, hm?" he mused.

You let out a small smile, leaning into him further, "You did good, Tech, you did good."

#bad batch tech x you #star wars tech #tech tuesday #tech x you #tech #tech x reader #bad batch tech x reader #bad batch tech #bad batch wrecker #bad batch omega #star wars bad batch #bad batch #star wars men #star wars clone wars #fanficition #fanfic #teasing #series #fluff without plot

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angellesword · 3 years

Text

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (14)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: mention of abuse and drug addiction.

Chapter’s OST: Clean by Taylor Swift

Word Count: 4.5k

Series: CHAPTER 13 | FINAL CHAPTER (15)

Hectic was the best way to describe how the past few weeks of Hoseok's life had been going. Not only did he have to deal with the tragic death of his father, but he also needed to convince you to help him make the Kims pay for their dues.

Fortunately, he was able to do this. He felt like there's a big progress in your relationship as well. His heart swelled with appreciation when you told him that you liked staying in his apartment. It's nice to feel like you were being taken care of. Hoseok was the only family member of yours (aside from Taehyung) who didn't make you feel like you were an outsider.

However, it looked like things were back to square one again. After the Board of Directors' Meeting, you became aloof. You still stayed in his home, yet he couldn't feel your presence.

You were like a ghost. You only left your room when you were sure he wasn't around.

Hoseok was rarely home these days because he was busy running a company. As expected, your brother got the position. He wasn't just the biggest shareholder of Castle Architectural Firm, he was also its newest chairperson.

Hoseok was responsible, obviously better than his father. Taemin practiced nepotism back when he was still alive, but your brother assured you and everyone in the company that he would never repeat the same mistake of his father. After all, nepotism was the sole reason why the accident in Myeong-deong happened.

Just because Soojin was his daughter, Taemin allowed her to lead a project which she clearly couldn't handle.

You thought all the Kims were the same, but you figured Namjoon wasn't like the rest of them. For the longest time, you believed that he would do anything to save his family, even if they're in the wrong. But your view of him changed the day he revealed to everyone that he knew about Hoseok being another one of Taemin's children.

Or were you wrong? Truthfully, you weren't sure. The only logical explanation you could think of as to why he would take the sibling DNA test with your eldest brother was because he wanted to help Hoseok too.

"Hey, I just got home." Your musing was abruptly cut-off when Hoseok tapped your shoulders. "My mom and I are heading out to lunch. Wanna join us?"

You cowered, too startled to see him standing inches away from you. Damn. Were you that lost in your thought to the point where you didn't hear him come in?

You were in the kitchen, preparing your own lunch before Hoseok arrived. You were planning on bringing your food inside your room because you didn't want to be around your brother.

"Next time. I already prepared my food. Thanks though." You moved away from him as you opened the microwave, taking out a slice of pizza.

Hoseok snorted. He didn't appreciate the way you're acting right now. He was tired even though he only worked half day today. All he wanted to do was to spend time with his family. His mother agreed to meet up with him because it's been a while since they last saw each other. Jiwoo was busy traveling the world. She made time for Hoseok today though. She also said she wanted to finally see you. Apparently, Hoseok always talked about you even when you still didn't know you two were siblings.

"Uh?" Your brows pinched when your brother snatched the plate of pizza away from you. "What do you think you're doing?"

You gasped and groaned as he shamelessly threw the pizza in the trash bin. You were ready to scold him, but Hoseok was already explaining his point before you could even open your mouth.

"You've been eating pizza for days now. Do you want to get sick?" His jaw clenched as he looked at you in disbelief, expressing his concern. "You can't act like this forever, sister. It's unhealthy. And for God's sake, if you have a problem with me just say it."

You scoffed at his audacity to say these things. Hoseok was acting like he didn't know why you're ignoring him.

It's impossible.

"Really?" You shook your head because of disappointment.

You never liked conflict. Fighting with the people you loved was the last thing you wanted, but Hoseok hurt your feelings.

"You lied to me." You inhaled sharply. You couldn't cry, definitely not when your brother was still acting like he was oblivious.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He even voiced out his confusion. Hoseok crossed his arms too, brows furrowed while looking at you as if you're cruel for accusing him of being untruthful.

"Please don't do this." You whined, causing him to cackle. Don't do what? You were the one being petty the past few days. Why were you acting like the problem was with him? And what's with the puppy eyes? Did you really hate misunderstanding that much?

"I haven't done anything, sister."

"Yeah you haven't—" You quickly agreed with a wince. And then you added: "—haven't told me that Namjoon-oppa knows you're our brother too."

You expected him to flinch, to look at you with soft eyes, or to say sorry for keeping it a secret, but Hoseok did none of these.

Admittedly, he barely reacted as he asked "that's it?"

You scoffed.

"Seriously?" You couldn't help it. You gawked at him too. "We're supposed to be a team here, oppa. How could you not say something about it? And...and not only that!"

You were panting because of how fast you were speaking. It's like you had suddenly exploded.

His casual reaction was what triggered you.

"You also didn't tell me that Jungkook sold his shares to you." It's not like you minded that he was now the biggest shareholder of the firm. You just couldn't accept the fact that you didn't know anything about this. Did he respect you at all?

"Yeah I didn't." He admitted so casually. Hoseok actually looked like the conversation was boring him. You didn't expect the confrontation to be like this.

Now you just felt silly.

And annoyed.

You were annoyed that he's acting like this was not a big deal.

It was.

It should be.

"You're unbelievable." You shook your head and walked out.

Hoseok caught your wrist though. He prevented you from leaving by tightening his grip on your skin.

The stare he was giving you was cold.

"I'm unbelievable?" Hoseok chuckled, low and expressionless.

You shivered, thinking that this wasn't right. You were the one who was supposed to be mad, not the other way around.

However Hoseok was determined to make you feel like this was all your fault—at least this was what you felt as he explained to you his reason.

"I'm unbelievable because I asked for help?" He threw his head back as he chuckled in a sarcastic way. "Tell me...Would you still push through with our plan if I told you Namjoon wants to help us?"

Namjoon found out about Hoseok on the day of the accident. Seokjin was tasked to look after Sin-ae and Soojin. Namjoon, on the other hand, tried to clean up the mess. He also found out that same day that Soojin was responsible for the accident.

Namjoon knew he couldn't let this go. Protecting Soojin and tolerating her wrongdoing were two different things. He was aware that correcting a mistake through another mistake would cause more harm than good.

Namjoon was clever. He knew he couldn't get rid of all evidence so he couldn't protect Soojin by sweeping the mess under the mat. It was proven to be true when he found out that Architect Jung had the original copy of the building's blueprint and other documents that were detrimental to Soojin's case.

Apparently Taemin gave Hoseok access to a safety deposit box containing important stuff related to the company. Hoseok was the only one who knew the passcode aside from his father.

Namjoon knew right there and then that the only option he had was to help Soojin surrender to the authorities. He also wouldn't want his sister to run a company when it's obvious she's not competent enough to do it.

He didn't tell Seokjin about this though. What's there to say? Namjoon didn't really ask Hoseok about his plan. He felt like he would feel less guilty if he knew less. Namjoon's only wish was fair treatment even though he knew Soojin fucked up so bad.

Hoseok agreed. He hated what Soojin had done but at the end of the day, he was still his sister. What he wanted was to simply hold Soojin accountable. It's up to the authorities to decide what to do with her. He was just a tool that would make sure she'd get what she deserved.

The litigation was still ongoing, but they had to detain Soojin. It's because all evidence pointed at her. Your sister had multiple civil and criminal cases, one being gross negligence resulting to injury and death.

"Would you allow Jungkook to sell his shares to me?" Hoseok added, his jaw setting irately.

The look you gave him was incredulous.

"Why wouldn't I allow that?"

Hoseok was offending you. There's no reason for you to stop Jungkook from doing that because if you were being honest, the act actually helped.

"You tell me." Hoseok challenged. He let go of your wrist so he could fold his arms over his chest. "You're stubborn. You hate asking people for help. I've seen you all these years, you know? I've seen you turn your back on the people who love you. Honestly I don't know what's with you and Jungkook but it doesn't take a genius to see how much you hate the idea of him offering his hand for you to grab."

There's a pregnant pause in the air. You felt attacked. Hoseok wasn't the only person who said this to you. Taehyung did too, and you hated how harsh and right they sounded.

Was this seriously your fault?

"You like to give and give and give." Hoseok wasn't done torturing you. "But you never take and then you wonder why you're miserable all the time."

He let out a deep breath.

"You know very well now why I didn't tell you the truth. This time I want you to answer my question honestly..."

He paused just to swallow thickly.

"Why do you always refuse the love Jungkook gives you? The love we give you?" Hoseok bit his lip to stop the other question from escaping his lips.

You understood it though. You knew what he wanted to ask even though he didn't voice it out: why do you accept such abuse? From Taemin? From Soojin? From your mother?

Because it's the only kind of love I know. This was the answer to his unspoken question.

"Because it's not the kind of love I know." And this was how you responded to the question he had managed to voice out.

It took you many years, decades even, to finally admit that.

You had been keeping this reason to yourself for many years because you were certain no one would understand. People longed for unconditional love and affection, meanwhile you couldn't associate these feelings to how you viewed 'love.'

What you thought love meant was pain and suffering. It's very different from the love Jungkook made you feel.

He gave you hope, sincerity, patience, and most importantly: kindness.

Jungkook was so kind that it scared you. Because what if you got used to this feeling and then suddenly it vanished?

Would you be able to handle it? Would you be able to find something like this again?

"You won't understand it, Hoseok-oppa. You won't understand that I don't want people to save me or to give me everything. I don't want anyone to fix me." You had been saying this for a while now. If you remembered it correctly, you even told this to Jungkook. You hated when he tried to get involved in your business. Love wasn't supposed to be like that for you. It's not your love language. You didn't want that heroic kind of love, the one where your partner would drop everything just to be with you.

Us against the world? It's a fairytale.

You didn't like fairy tales.

But Hoseok snickered at this.

"Why? Are you telling me you're so used to pain that you can't stomach the idea of people loving you right?"

You didn't answer.

You were pensive: was there really a standard way of loving someone right? Some people wanted this. Some people wanted that. You didn't even think you fully understood the meaning of love.

Sometimes it made you cackle when they said they loved people without any reason. But then you also furrowed your brow and let out a puff of air when people said they fell in love with the sound of someone's smile, or the way their eyes lit up.

"I know I don't have the right to interfere. It's your life but I care for you and I want you to find happiness. You don't have to be scared anymore, you know? It's over."

He was saying that the pain was over. Soojin and her family couldn't hurt you any longer. Your father had been absolved from the criminal responsibility too.

Justice was being served.

You could rest now. You could finally think about yourself without feeling guilty all the time.

None of these was your fault. You have done your best to help.

Hoseok pulled you into an embrace. You didn't squirm against him.

"Promise me you'll talk to him, okay?"

The right thing to do was to agree, so you did by nodding your head and hugging him back.

Hoseok ended up convincing you to join him and his mother for lunch. Surprisingly, it went well. Jiwoo was sweet and soft. She's nothing like Sin-ae.

"You wanna join us for some ice cream, love?" Jiwoo asked you after lunch. She said she knew this certain ice cream parlor that sold the best mint chocolate ice cream. It's their family's go-to dessert shop ever since Hoseok was a little boy.

"Oh, I'd love to but I actually have somewhere else to be." You smiled apologetically.

Jiwoo said it's a shame but that she understood. Your brother wasn't buying your excuse though. He felt like you'd just go home and lock yourself in your room. You tended to do that after a really good day. It's a defense of yours. You were protecting your heart because every time something good happened to you, bad news would follow right after.

"Where?" Hoseok lifted an eyebrow.

"Uh..." You paused, contemplating whether to tell him the truth or not. In the end, you chose to give him a vague answer. Not a lie, but not the truth either.

"I'm just going to meet someone."

Your brother's face lit up, thinking that you were referring to Jungkook. You knew this, but didn't bother to correct him despite having zero intentions of meeting up with your best friend.

"Take care, sweetheart. Don't mind your brother, he’s just being protective. But be safe, okay?" Hoseok's mom engulfed you into a hug.

It warmed your heart. This was your first time seeing her and yet you already felt comfortable. You wished she's your mom, which to be honest, was a terrible thing to say, especially when you're on your way to visit your real mother.

It was an impulsive decision. Years ago, you swore to yourself that you would never contact your mother even if you missed her terribly. This was what your therapist recommended too, saying that you couldn't keep seeing those people who hurt you.

It's easier said than done. Having lunch with Hoseok and his mother caused a pang in your chest. The longing you felt was so intense you're convinced you'd end up having a heart attack if you didn't see your mother.

See.

You promised yourself you'd just ‘see’ her. Just a glimpse was enough. You even wore the hoodie of your jacket. You didn't want her to recognize you. You'd just observe from afar.

You doubted she remembered you. It's been what? More than a decade? Since the last time you saw her? You grew up. You were no longer the teenager who cried and begged the grownups to let you be with your mother.

The tears had dried and the shaking had stopped.

Or so you thought.

It was a shiver at first, and then your body trembled when you saw her nodding her head as she listened to the stranger speaking.

Yunhae. This was the name of the stranger. She was an addict trying to get better. Your mother and the rest of the group listened to Yunhae's story, some of them looked at her with sympathy, some of them remained impassive—like they had heard this same story a thousand times before and watched it all go down the drain.

In the end, they'd relapse. Just one taste, one sniff, one feel...and then they'd fall down the rabbit hole.

Your mother's eyes made you release a breath though. She wasn't staring at Yunhae like she'd disappoint her.

Hope. This was what you could see in your mother's eyes, however you realized that she wasn't really looking at Yunhae.

She was looking at you.

You panicked as you instantly turned away from her. She wasn't supposed to see you. She wasn't supposed to remember your face.

You were a fool for thinking this way. No mother could ever forget their child's face.

She was certain it was you even though you didn't turn around when she called your name.

You walked faster, desperate to leave the room. Sadly your mother didn't have a plan to let you go.

She ran after you, grabbing your wrist which forced you to look at her.

She called your name again. This time, uncertain. She examined your face, as if she'd get a perfect mark by staring at your eyes. The same eyes that used to look at her with so much love.

Your eyes were still soft, but she couldn't feel the sparks.

"It's me..." You finally admitted the truth when she caressed your face with quivering hands. Tears filled her eyes.

It's you.

"You're here..." And you're really here.

Was she dreaming?

"Yeah, but I need—"

"Can we talk?" She cut you off, afraid to hear you say you couldn't stand to see her face anymore. She thought you hated her and frankly, she couldn't blame you.

Hate was a strong word, but if you felt this way, she was sure it's warranted.

"Please." She begged and just like before, you gave in.

You were still weak when it came to her.

"Thank you. C-Can you wait for a second? I...I just need to—"

"Go ahead." You interjected because it's obvious she's panicking. You realized she wasn't sure how to tell you what she had to do first.

"I'll be right back." She promised before going back to her circle. Yunhae was still talking. Your mother felt bad for leaving them and asking Yoon-sung, one of the members of the group, to take the lead, but they could manage without her.

This was probably the only chance she had with you. She couldn't mess this up.

"Let's go?" Your mother smiled at you. You didn't show any sign of displeasure so she started walking as you followed her out.

Your mother brought you to the garden of the church building. You still found it hard to believe that your mother spent most of her time inside the church, but oh well. It's not like she had a choice. CA meetings were usually held in this kind of place.

From what you had heard, your mother was actually leading the CA meeting. She went from being a junkie to a respected leader.

She had come a long way.

You could see she's proud of it too.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I can't leave them without a substitute." She smiled apologetically at you.

You folded your arms over your chest.

"I know. That's why you entrusted the group to your boyfriend, right?" You refused to look at your mother. It wasn't because you didn't approve of her choice in men, but you couldn't help but be wary.

"You know about Yoon-sung?" She was flustered.

Your lips curled up. Who wouldn't have thought that you would see your mother like this? Back when you were a child, you thought she wasn't capable of feeling other emotions aside from anger and frustration.

"No, but it doesn't take a genius to know. He kissed your cheek and looked at you like—" You abruptly stopped upon realizing what you're about to spill:

He looked at you like the way Jungkook looked at me.

Your mother noticed the way you froze, but she knew better than to ask. You weren't comfortable around each other yet. She had no business teasing you or prying information out of you.

"I see. I thought Jungkook told you about Sung and I..."

You whipped your head back at her. What did she say? Did she just mention your best friend's name?

Your mother confirmed it.

"Jungkook knows about my relationship with Sung. He used to t—" But she stopped speaking when she saw confusion painting your face.

Realization hit her.

"You didn't know."

Damn right you didn't. Jungkook never told you he went to visit your mother.

"Since when?" Your jaw ticked. You weren't mad, just...baffled. Why didn't he tell you?

"S-Since you were sixteen." She gulped while you sucked in a deep breath. "He visited me while I was still in rehab...and then in prison...and then...here."

Your mother had been through a lot. Your best friend somewhat helped her through it all. But if Jungkook was being honest, he'd say that the only reason he visited your mom was because of you.

He knew how important your mother was to you. He simply wanted to make sure she was doing okay so as not to worry you. Jungkook also asked her how to help you. He was certain that some things were difficult for you.

You barely ate and slept the first few months you had been separated with your mother. Jungkook wanted to learn how to soothe you. He was aware that despite all the pain your mom had brought you, she was still the only one who knew you well.

She knew the right way to brush your hair when you're trying to go back to sleep after waking up from a nightmare, she knew the words to say to manipulate you into doing what she liked. Jungkook wanted to learn this, but not to manipulate you but to make you feel at ease.

It hurt seeing you cry. It hurt seeing you suffering. He wished he could take away your pain.

"He told me all about you. I know I don't deserve it but it's the only thing that kept me sane. Thinking that at least you're...living your life out there."

There was a lump in your throat. Had you really been living? What were the things Jungkook told her? You wouldn't know if he lied to make your mother feel better because when you were with Jungkook, you were the happiest. Maybe he saw it too. He saw how your world brightened because of his presence.

"He's a good kid. Jungkook..." Your mother wiped her tears you didn't even realize were falling. "He did the things I was supposed to do. He made you happy, he loved you, and he took care of you..."

You could see gratefulness dancing in her face. This was the first time you had seen your mother look this way. She looked happy and content. She glowed.

"I owe him one."

This information pained you. Jungkook helped you and you appreciated and hated that. How could he think about you when he was hurting too? His father died shortly after you were separated from your mom.

He offered you support and you didn’t even bother to ask him if he was okay.

Why was he like that? Why did he love you so much?

This very moment made you realize that just like your mother, you owed something to Jungkook as well.

"Yeah. Me too..." And so you found yourself saying it too. It's the truth. Jungkook had helped you in ways you couldn't even imagine.

You didn't know it but the only reason Jungkook sold his shares to Hoseok was because he didn't want to compete with you. Admittedly, he even sold the shares below the fair market value. He sold it at cost, but not because he was dumb.

He just told your brother this: "I didn't lose, sunbaenim. I won. That's just money, but what you're gonna give her is your support. Promise me you'll take care of her, that you will not betray her."

You said you didn't want him to help you so he did it indirectly. Hoseok helped him help you.

"Will I see you again?" Your mother asked after a few moments of silence. You two talked about small things for the past thirty minutes.

You already considered this a long time, especially because you still didn't trust her. You didn't have any more stories to share. You ran out of topics for small talk.

You told her your father died though, but apparently, she already knew. It's all over the news anyway.

"Uh, I'm not sure..." You winced.

You had been working home for the past weeks. You knew your boss only allowed this because you were still grieving, but it's time to go back to reality again.

"I'm thinking about flying back to New York next week." You didn't know why it hurt to say this. A part of you was begging you to stay.

"You're thinking about it..." She repeated thoughtfully, as if processing your words.

You could only nod.

"That means you're still undecided."

Were you?

Yes, you were. Because if you had made up your mind already, then why were you still here? You were finished with your job here. There's no reason for you to still stay.

Right?

"Listen, I know I'm pushing my luck here, but do you...want my advice?"

It's strange...to hear this coming from here. People who knew the real relationship you had with your mother would probably laugh if they hear her saying this.

Since when did she care about you? Since when did she care about the decision you're struggling to make?

Could it be that she really changed? Was the past decade really enough to change a person?

You guessed so—this was what you thought as you remained frozen, waiting for her to say something that might change your mind.

She did.

She said something that made your heart painfully twist in your chest, a harsh reminder of why you were alive and why you got hurt in the first place.

She did something she wasn't supposed to do, and now she wished you wouldn't make the same mistake too.

You had the advantage.

Your mother smiled—warm and gentle—as she said: "Don't throw away the love you can freely have. Some of us aren't given that choice."

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