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#so is the jimmy one holy shit i love them
hotvintagepoll · 2 days
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Propaganda
Joan Blondell (Footlight Parade, The Public Enemy)—My Pre-code QUEEEEEN. Joan is a large part of why I love 30s movies. She's got such a flair and presence. She's not known for her voice, but her rendition of Remember My Forgotten Man will grab you by the heart. She played a variety of roles, and held her own with major stars like Bette Davis and Hot Vintage Poll icon James Cagney. She was a hardworker, even as Hollywood stopped giving her prime roles, and continued working in film and television up until her death. She's an absolute firecracker, even in her supporting roles I end up focused on her. Also, I just think it's cute that her name (real!) is Blondell.
Hu Die (Sing-Song Girl Red Peony, The Burning of the Red Lotus Temple)—i haven't seen any of her movies but apparently she was China's first "movie queen" in 1933? she was also in the the first Chinese sound movie!
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Joan Blondell:
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A pre-code sweetie. Hot, funny and practical.
Criterion retrospective:
Sharp-tongued, sharp-witted, and beautiful - what more could you ask for from a dame of the gangster film/screwball comedy era? (Also, James Cagney would want you to vote for her!)
with her sunny smile and characters tending to exhibit a blend of happy-go-lucky cheerfulness and scrappy toughness, joan blondell is one of the quintessential stars of the pre-code era. she and fellow fast-talking wisecracker james cagney were close friends, having met when they were in a broadway play together in 1929, and made seven movies together that ran the gamut from gangster pictures to comedies to musicals.
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She's absolutely hilarious and I love her
She's the wisecracking blonde who has been around the block and knows the score, but just look at those big blue eyes gazing at Jimmy Cagney as she burns the midnight oil to help him achieve his dreams and picks him up when he gets buffeted by life
Smart, snarky, and so sexy!
My Forgotten Man is one of the most haunting depictions of the consequences of WWI that I’ve ever seen, knocked out of the park by Joan Blondell’s performance. In one song number it traces sending the boys off to war, bringing them back to die in the streets maimed, drunk, and full of PTSD, then leaving them to starve in the Depression, framed by the suffering of the women who loved them. Holy shit? This is a musical number? They fucking produced this barnburner in a mainstream musical?
My Forgotten Man, in two parts:
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Hu Die:
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astonmartinii · 6 months
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i hope your finger’s ok!! please take all the time you need and remember you health comes first :) imma be selfish and send you a charles request cause ur writing makes me smile at my phone like an idiot and i can’t help it :p ok so!! charles x versteppen reader? shes max’s sister and drives for redbull (cause im delulu like that) and they’ve been fighting w each other since they were kids (no one knows why they started arguing they’re j petty and refuse to give it up even though they dk what they’re arguing abt anymore) and obvs they’re in love w each other - maybe another drivers flirting w her or smth and charles j snaps and hard launches the reader cause surprise they’ve been dating each other 🤭 holy shit this is long sorry for rambling 🙏🙏
angel baby, devil child | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader
enemies to lovers blah blah blah
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,743,200 others
yourusername: crazy, crazy race. sorry not sorry to the tifosi, tell ur girl @charles_leclerc to kiss my ass not my rear tyre xoxo
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user1: okay they're clearly still in the enemies phase... when can we skip to lovers
user2: i personally love that charles is the mortal enemy of both verstappen siblings that's so slay of him
maxverstappen1: crop me out again and say goodbye to a tow in qualifying
yourusername: sorry maxy, not my fault i got all the photogenic genes xx
maxverstappen1: erm rude @christianhorner tell her to stop bullying me
yourusername: two can play at that game @sebastianvettel tell max to stop being a baby
user3: the way neither christian or seb replied they really don't get paid enough to deal with them
charles_leclerc: what is it with verstappens and their love for pushing me off the track
yourusername: what is it with your front wing and my rear tyre
charles_leclerc: umm i asked you first
yourusername: stop deflecting babe, we all know you love my ass so much you wanted a touch
charles_leclerc: i'd rather deep fry my hands than touch your rear
maxverstappen1: that can be arranged
user4: can't wait for these three to all be in the same press conference next week 🍿
carlossainz55: my favourite person to share the podium with
yourusername: thanks chilli (@tifosi you heard it here sainz is against ferrari 1-2s)
carlossainz55: NO that's not what i meant
landonorris: i see how it is ... god all men are the same AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,204,809 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my bestest friend, biggest rival and favourite roommate. though maybe now you're 23 you can get your own place so you can sneak out to meet up with your secret boyfriend on your own terms and can keep that massive ballsack away from jimmy and sassy. i love you and verstappen dominance 4 ever.
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user7: i love y/n but i think she should bring her cat to races as a scare tactic
yourusername: wrinkle doesn't appreciate your tone but it is duly noted
yourusername: awwwwwwwww i love you maxy !! and you're never getting rid of your little sister unless you get married and ur a big fat nerd so that's never happening xx
maxverstappen1: attacking me after i just bought you a whole ass car
yourusername: i JOKE. thank you soooo much and you'll never get rid of me you love me too much to anyway.
maxverstappen1: enough to finally introduce me to the mystery man?
yourusername: blocked.
user8: are we all just ignoring her doing her literal eyeliner with a knife?
user9: or the fact that max likely walked in and was like oh wait this is a sick shot
danielricciardo: oh no that was me, i'm still traumatised but it's probably the best photo i've ever taken
yourusername: easy to do with a model like me
charles_leclerc: wtf is that thing in the last one
yourusername: rude of you to think ur balls look any nicer
charles_leclerc: what?
yourusername: what?
user10: does anyone want to elaborate?
carlossainz55: happy birthday y/n !
yourusername: thanks carlos, thank you for the flowers 👍
user11: this is either their way of flirting or y/n really couldn't give a flying fuck about carlos' obvious crush on her
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,098,560 others
yourusername: another trip around the sun and still following my brother around, difference is now i beat him x
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user16: your honour i am so obsessed with her
maxverstappen1: can't even be angry about it, you deserve the world
yourusername: you softy, i love you
maxverstappen1: also dummy i know who your boyfriend is now did you guys forget that we LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER
yourusername: i was intoxicated my bad but we bought you breakfast?
maxverstappen1: literally the only reason he hasn't gone over the balcony, he might want to be gone before this hangover wears off
yourusername: noted.
user17: yall want to share with the class?
user18: based on ^^ this reaction i'm going to say it's not carlos
user19: watch out he'll drop a shit pick-up line in a second and be rejected
carlossainz55: hope you enjoyed your birthday beautiful
user20: bro this guy STINKS
user19: i told yall
yourusername: thank you carlos
user21: i'm sorry this is dry as hell it can't be carlos
charles_leclerc: my shoes will never recover, i'll be sending an invoice your way
yourusername: you're a millionaire boo, you can replace those tacky white trainers yourself
charles_leclerc: is having no manners a verstappen trait?
yourusername: come for max all you want, but the birthday girl? low leclerc
charles_leclerc: when you go low i go lower
yourusername: oh believe me i know all about you and going down
user22: DO YALL MIND?
user23: do they think we're dumb?
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, lancestroll and 1,204,674 others
charles_leclerc: a weekend without racing?
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user24: what is biden doing about the soft launch pandemic?
user25: well this is oddly timed ...
yourusername: you look like you'd have sweaty hands
charles_leclerc: wouldn't you like to know
yourusername: unlike all ur fangirls i've actually smelt you sweaty after a race so you can keep your hands to yourself
maxverstappen1: you heard her 🤨
charles_leclerc: why are you here? is this a 2 for 1 deal on annoying dutch people
yourusername: you can call him annoying all you want, but you love me don't lie
charles_leclerc: my lawyer says i shouldn't comment on that ;)
sebastianvettel: when will you two stop?
yourusername: sorry seb :(
charles_leclerc: sorry seb :(
user26: i know carlos is sick reading this weird flirting when y/n never comments on his pics
user27: she comes here just to flirt cause she didn't even like the photo
user28: she doesn't even follow him 😭
pierregasly: i love a slow burn as much as the next person BUT NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS PICK UP THE PHONE
charles_leclerc: you're so dramatic, nobody knows calmar
maxverstappen1: he's lying i do
pierregasly: WHAT
charles_leclerc: by ACCIDENT i didn't tell him by choice
user29: so like, it's definitely y/n LOL
user30: oh no everyone get ready marca is going to run a story tomorrow about how charles leclerc is ruining carlos' career with psychological warfare by flirting with the girl he likes
user31: sainz sr about to wage war lol
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,304,889 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: i don't share. i love you. please follow me on instagram now (and let me come on max's jet) x
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user35: HOLY FUCK
user36: they're so fucking sexy my lord
yourusername: you're so weak, one teammate flirts with me and you hard launch, i've had 12 year olds use me as a face claim to pretend they're pregnant with your child
charles_leclerc: they took your face? i happen to quite like it, can they give it back?
yourusername: quite?
charles_leclerc: don't make me look bad you know i positively LOVE YOUR FACE
yourusername: and my ass since it's all you look at on track
charles_leclerc: okay you can drop the act now people know we're in love stop being mean to me :(
yourusername: but it's true, no?
charles_leclerc: rest assured i love your actual ass much more
maxverstappen1: believe me the people she lives with know WAY too much about how much you love it
user37: carlos sainz really thought he had a chance when these fools have been together for TWO years
sebastianvettel: congratulations you two, glad we don't have to watch you two trying to be subtle now
maxverstappen1: so wait when did you find out?
sebastianvettel: about two weeks into the relationship, they were very obvious
yourusername: thank you for keeping our secret dad <3
user38: y/n really said you ARE my grid dad
yourusername: oh no that's my actual dad
charles_leclerc: he's literally going to walk y/n down the aisle
maxverstappen1: please don't tell me you're engaged? i only just got over you actually being together
charles_leclerc: i'm not your brother yet don't worry (i will be soon)
carlossainz55: congrats guys
user39: it's okay bro you can cry
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,301,541 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: two years with the love of my life, still on max's side on val d'argenton x
view all comments
user40: they're disgusting (when will it happen to me)
charles_leclerc: we'll have to agree to disagree
yourusername: just admit it you love to push verstappens off the track
charles_leclerc: sorry babe as much as i love you, i'll never let you win x
yourusername: good thing i always beat you then x
charles_leclerc: either way victory sex still bangs
user41: yes, yes they're cute, but i need a full on play-by-play of how this relationship came to be
user42: i know these menaces were giggling and kicking their feet every time they had an argument in comment sections
yourusername: oh it was very fun
charles_leclerc: but the radio messaged are 100% real lol
maxverstappen1: thanks for having my back, you're welcome for all the gross pictures i've taken for you guys
yourusername: consider your payment like every meal i make us
maxverstappen1: well if i did it f1 would be down three drivers
user43: wait so does charles basically live with them now?
maxverstappen1: unfortunately yes. depressing music, even worse cooking than me and horrendously loud sex with my sister. i should kick him out
charles_leclerc: i literally bought you noise-cancelling headphones?
maxverstappen1: nothing you can say will save me from this trauma
yourusername: just shag daniel and get off of our case x
note: ahhhhh i am so sorry this request took so long, my inbox keeps moving stuff around lol. my finger is good thanks for asking, the human body is a wonder and i peeled off the last of my scab this week lol. i hope this was the kinda thing you were looking for !! xx
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umbrify · 1 year
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Finally finished taking notes on all the Empires POV’s that I take notes for. My hands are dead and I am tired. Here’s some of my personal highlights from today’s shenanigans, in no particular timeline order:
Scott Smajor having the coolest “hermits join the server” moment, with the purple sky and the fog. Very cool of you
Joel vibrating at the seams because he’s so excited his friends are here and he’s trying to be normal about it
Two different hermits absolutely gushing over Gobland and how cool it is
Scar: I love the colors in here, they go together so nice! / fWhip: I’m glad you think so, because I’m colorblind! So!
Whatever was going on w Sausage and Keralis. Why are they like that (affectionate)
Sausage being So Incredibly Normal about Pearl being there
Pearl wore her season one skin holy shit
Scott explaining Pearl away by saying she’s a cosplayer. A… god cosplayer. Yep.
The fact that they clearly did NOT discuss wether they knew each other or not. schrodinger's canon <3
Sausage: hey False what happened to the clothes you got off that dead guy that one time? / False, from Hermitcraft: ….what?
The hermits acting like they know Empires!Gem and her just being like “this is fine. Act natural.”
Doc meeting Pix and Pix is like “my world is gonna get real complicated for a bit!”
Also Doc made the Hermitcraft recap joke. Incredible
Sausage casually dropping his entire tragic backstory on Keralis and Jevin and then just. Moving on completely
Also the fact that Sausage greets them both by name and then acts surprised when they know his name a minute later, despite them calling him by it for a minute or two now. Great job everyone
Xisuma, guy who is bones, being paired with Joey, guy who hates bone people
RANCHER DUO REUNION! LETSGO!!!!
Jimmy ALSO got to see his evil soulmate, his soul enemy, if you will, Grian, who won’t let him have peace in any timeline
But Jimmy has SUCH a big smile on his face the whole time, you could tell he was so thrilled they were there
Impulse: Scott! My friend! My buddy! We’ve seen each other before, how are you! / Scott: I’ve never met this man in my life
Joe Hills saying he broke his arm but he’s actually just holding a stick while having litematicia installed and he doesn’t know how it works
The fact that Scar was the first one to consider that maybe the hermits should try to figure out how to get home?? Everyone was just like “ooh free vacation :)” and did NOT question it
Grian and Impulse blasting the Hermitcraft Recap music down the mic while they chase Pix around live on stream, and then Grian including that in his video so that Pix HAS to recap himself. Absolutely incredible work boys
And an extra special shoutout to the fact that fWhip and Grian have been working this out for four months now! Absolutely incredible, I’m so excited to see more. Oh my god
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theemporium · 5 months
Note
🐈‍⬛ w/Norstappen being like :O the first time their witchy s/o does magic in front of them pretty pls 🙏🏻 ?
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
.
Despite the boys knowing your secret, they had never actually seen you perform any magic.
They had made plenty of jokes in the meantime. It was mostly Lando, but Max had his moments too. They would affectionately call you countless famous witch and wizard names. They would joke about you throwing them in a cauldron if they pissed you off. Countless pictures of brushes and brooms were sent to you on a daily basis. Sometimes they would even joke about the fact Sassy and Jimmy only liked you because of a witch’s connection to cats. 
It was safe to say their knowledge on witchcraft was limited, but despite their jokes and remarks, they did want to learn about it. It was a massive part of your life, of your identity too. They wanted to know every part of you, they wanted to love every part of you—even if the jokes wouldn’t necessarily stop. 
You had been teaching them things in passing, explaining anything when you noticed the way their brows would furrow in confusion. Whether it was when you were making a list of ingredients you needed (“No, Lando, I can’t just buy them from the grocery store.”) or preparing weeks in advance for a certain spell (“Max, baby, I love you but witchcraft isn’t just about shoving things into a bubbling pot.”). 
But they had never actually seen you use magic until that night. 
You had been so caught up in your work that you hadn’t even realised the time until a message pinging from your phone broke you out of your concentration. You swore under your breath, rushing towards the kitchen to get started on dinner in the hopes it wouldn’t be too late. After all, it had been your night to cook.
You hadn’t even heard the boys come in. You were rushing around the kitchen like a madman, pots and pans and ingredients flying around the room. There were pots bubbling on the stove, there was a knife cutting vegetables on a cutting board, there were unused dishes being washed in the sink and at the centre of the chaos stood you, cookbook in one hand whilst the other orchestrated the world around you as you read through the recipe. 
“Holy shit.”
Your head snapped to the side to find both boys standing in the doorway, jaws slack and eyes wide as they watched the scene in front of them with the same level of shock and excitement as kids coming down to presents under the Christmas tree. 
“Hey,” you breathed out and gave them a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, dinner will be ready soon but I got caught up in—”
“You really are like Hermione Granger!” Lando exclaimed, an excited laugh as he stepped into the kitchen, ducking when a carrot whooshed over his head. 
“I—” You blinked, a little taken aback. 
“Do you do this every time?” Max asked as he followed the Brit in, only to pause for a second. “Why have you never done this in front of us before?” 
“Yeah, this is so fucking cool!” Lando grinned, turning to you with a glimmer in his eyes. 
“I…didn’t realise it was something you wanted to see so badly,” you admitted with a small laugh, though something in your chest warmed at how enthusiastic they were about your magic. A small part of you feared they would be scared by it.
“You’re controlling all of this?” Max questioned.
“Every single thing,” you confirmed with a nod.
“How the fuck do you do that?” Lando murmured as his eyes focused on the plates setting themselves on the dining table connected to the kitchen. 
“Practice,” you said with a smile before leaning in to peck his cheek. “I’ll show you more after dinner.”
Lando’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
You nodded. 
“Maybe even pick something in that grimmy thing you have,” Max added, looking a little sheepish about his request even if he tried to sound confident.
“My grimoire, baby,” you corrected with a small laugh.
“Yes, that. Magic cookbook,” he said with a completely serious face. “Show us what our girl can do.”
“Well, right now your girl wants to eat dinner,” you snorted. “But if Lando eats his greens, I’ll show you a few spells after dinner.”
“This is bribery.”
“Lando, I will shove that broccoli down your throat if I have to.”
Lando gaped at the Dutchman before rolling his eyes. “It’s not my first choice but geez, fine.”
.
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fogwitchoftheevermore · 5 months
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ok so. forgive me for a second but i've been abnormal about skizz and ren since the hiatus between third life and last life and holy shit this season is already not helping.
let's talk about skizz, ren, undying loyalty, and golden apples, shall we?
so the thing that you need to understand about skizz is that he is loyal to a fault. impulse literally says this exact thing about him in limited life, and skizz himself says himself: "you know me and my factions, i never turn." the second thing is that the first person their loyalty manifests for in third life is ren. he and ren run into each other on the second night when ren is getting accosted by mobs outside skizz's door and skizz gives him a place to stay the night. ren decides to trade skizz for his leather, for the upcoming enchanting buisness, and gives skizz a golden apple in exchange. skizz thinks this is wildly more than he deserves but is very thankful. skizz doesn't say it here, but this is the moment he swears his loyalty to ren.
throughout third life, he is willing to do or get basically anything for ren. the two of them literally die together to the tnt trap. when ren dies on the alter and everyone thinks martyn betrayed him, skizz is the first person to get there in the morning. he's in half broken gold armor and borrowed tools from bigb and he still tells ren "get behind me", still tries to protect him from martyn. when skizz is on red, he goes a bit crazy, but he channels that bloodlust into protecting ren. he kills jimmy in the red desert, he kills cleo when she tries to attack ren, he chases down impulse when he betrays dogwarts and dies trying to kill him.
when skizz dies in third life, he's got an unused golden apple in his hotbar. after he dies, he remembers the first time he met ren, etho, and martyn, and he spends quite a bit of time on his memory of ren and ren appears in his first memory of etho. after he dies, ren wields a blade named in his honor.
skizz spends third life loyal to ren- he dies for him and he dies with him.
in last life, ren and skizz end up on completely different sides, and it very quickly gets bad because when ren becomes boogey, he kills skizz. he lures him into a trap. he tells skizz he loves him. skizz literally says "i am broken hearted" when ren kills him. ren holds no regard for the relationship they used to have and yet skizz cannot help but compliment ren's skill with the trap, outright says he can't be mad at ren.
and then it only gets worse because skizz tries to storm ren's tower with impulse after they've gone red. and that! doesn't go well! and while skizz is retreating, while he is eating the golden apple in his hot bar, ren shoots him dead.
and that is the last time they've spoken. two years ago.
because skizz isn't in doublt life. and ren isn't in limited life.
and when skizz's time comes in limited life, he ensures he doesn't have a golden apple in his inventory this time. this time, he hands the apples off to his teammates, where he knows they will go to good use. and then he hands etho a diamond fucking axe (red winter is coming) and asks him to execute him for the sake of their alliance. ok! sure! fill ren's role more explicitly, why don't you!
and that first session of secret life genuinely only made it worse. when skizz is talking to tango and cleo about their alliance, skizz says he wants to give leadership over to someone else: "i want to be more of a soldier than a leader this time." cleo says she'll fill the roll of leader- she doesn't take orders well - and then seals their alliance by giving tango and skizz a golden apple each. because of course she does.
and well, we all know that didn't really work out, so that's one person off the list that skizz can fill the dogwarts shaped hole in him with, so then he goes to bdubs. he says he'll lay his sword at bdubs' feet. he says he'll win bdubs with his loyalty. he calls bdubs "my leige", jesus christ dude, you couldn't be less subtle unless you straight up called him ren's name.
skizz has been (whether accidentally or on purpose is up to you) trying to recreate the experience he had with dogwarts, and particularly what he had with ren, since the moment dogwarts fell. he can't have it with ren because he missed his only chance in last life, so he'll fill the void with whoever he can. his fellow soldier. ren's successor. ren's new kingmaker. anyone. and it's never gonna work. i need ren to come back for like, 900 reasons, but i especially need him to come back so skizz can have a shot at making it to spring.
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thebearer · 8 months
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when teddys like two or three months you and carl are in a patch of him not being around and he comes home one day and she gives him no reaction or loves, and someone she sees frequently she is gummy smiling at them
oh this would wreck him. like the freezer scene has nothing on what this would do to him.
so the bear is doing really well. like really, really well, but they've got some competition. this new restaurant is moving closer and a little too close. they already tried to take marcus and syd, and carmen is stressed, falling back into his old ways. he feels like in a way he got himself here bc he had a baby and got lazy in a way- distracted, is more like it. as awful as that sounds, that's how he felt.
teddy's about six months and carmen's been at work non-stop. comes home late, if you go to the restaurant he barely has time for you, he's tightly wound and hateful- loses his temper quickly. richie tried to talk to him, tina, too; and he told them the same thing- to mind their own business.
you miss carmen, you do. but when you tell him that, he tells you he's here now- now being when he's practically collapsed in bed beside you.
it's the roughest patch the two of you had ever been through, and carmen doesn't even seem to realize it. until one day. the other restaurant got moved to the other side of the city- something about the building being mysteriously shut down for shoddy wiring (uncle jimmy had nothing to do with it!!)
carmen's feeling good. feeling like he can breathe again.
comes home early and you're surprised. he's happy and excited, but when he goes to teddy, she cries.
that tiny baby cry for you, just a little whine of sorts that she does when a stranger tries to hold her.
a stranger.
"teddy," carmen coos, trying again. "it's daddy, teddy bear."
teddy just turns into your shirt, whimpering and clinging to you. you watch carmen's heart break- the fall of his face, eyes widening into horrified realization.
"i think she's cranky, carm. it's her nap time-"
"she doesn't even know who i am." carmen's tone is hard- hurt.
"no, she's just a little sleepy, carmen. look, teddy, look," you coo, bouncing her lightly to coax her out of your chest. "look, baby, it's daddy."
teddy seemed to recognize the word, eyes lighting but she didn't relate carmen to that. blinking and looking around like she was looking for her dad. carmen's face crumbled, running his hands over his face to keep himself from sobbing in front of you.
you didn't know what to do, how to make it better. "i'm going to smoke." carmen rasped, voice tight with emotion, snatching his cigarettes off the table and going outside.
he called the only person he knew to. richie. breaking down, raw and emotional, begging him for any sort of advice on how to make it better.
"cousin, she's a baby. you got time to fix this. she won't even remember this-"
"-she doesn't even remember me." carmen sniffed hard, knee bouncing as his chest bubbled over with that familiar painful panic. "my own kid doesn't know who the fuck i am. what the fuck richie? what's fuckin' wrong with me. all i ever do is fuck everything up-"
"-hey, cousin, i'm stoppin' you right there, ok? let me be honest with you. this ain't about you, ok?" richie huffed. it was mean and cutting but it was true. "this isn't the time to be feelin' all sorry for yourself and shit, ok? you left your wife alone with that baby and you've been a real jagoff- like i said."
carmen hated it, hated that he was right, hated how he felt.
richie continued. "instead of sittin' in there like an asshole, why don't you go inside, take a few fuckin' days off, and get your shit together."
"cosuin, i-i can't do that-"
"- holy fuck, carmen. ok, let's try it again, alright? go inside. quit being a self loathing jagoff piece of shit, and take a few days off to be with your wife and kid, ok? i got the place for a few days." richie snapped.
"richie, we're booked for the next-"
"-look, do you trust me or not?" richie snapped.
"yeah, yeah, i trust you, c'mon." carmen muttered.
"then i got it, alright? if i need you, i'll call you, but for right now- your family needs you. if this was tiff or eva, i wouldn't even think twice about it. go be with your family, and fix this shit, you dumbass." richie huffed.
carmen took richie's advice. finding you in the bedroom, folding teddy's teeny tiny baby clothes. it made carmen sob. heavy heaving cries and mumbled apologies while he clung to you.
the next four days, carmen wouldn't leave the house. wouldn't leave your side or teddy's. he'd gotten her hesitantly out of the crib, eyes red rimmed when he cooed at her and changed her. she didn't cry this time, even giving him a tiny gummy smile that had him emotional all over again.
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firekit21 · 6 months
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Life Series Incorrect Quotes
Ren: Isn't it a bit dangerous?
Joel: Ren, please. We've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.
Ren: ...
Joel: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.
Ren: ...
Joel: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves on the way home.
Skizz: Who's in charge here?
Martyn, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.
Grian: Why is there blood everywhere?
Scar: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Grian: You stabbed someone?!
Scar: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Grian: Remember, Jimmy, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Jimmy: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.
Lizzie: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Lizzie: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.
Bdubs: Thanks for not telling Etho what happened.
Mumbo, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.
Grian: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
Scar: Mine just says "Scar no."
Grian: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
Impulse, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.
Lizzie: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?
BigB: Technically a mix of green and blue?
Lizzie: So blurple.
BigB: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.
Lizzie: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?
BigB: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.
Scott: Let’s play 20 questions, you start.
Jimmy: What’s your favorite color?
Scott, laser fucking focused:  Triangle, do you like men?
Grian: Pros and cons of dating me.
Grian: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Grian: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Jimmy: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?
Jimmy: And atoms never touch each other.
Jimmy: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.
Cleo, to BigB: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.
Tango: Stop failing.
Skizz: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!
Skizz: *Succeeds*
Skizz: Dang it!
Scar with a gun to Ren's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?
Ren: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.
Jimmy: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
Pearl: I am a responsible adult!
Gem: *raises brow*
Pearl: I am an adult.
Cleo: I love murder mysteries!
Martyn, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.
Ren: Martyn and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.
Martyn: We what?
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good-chimes · 1 year
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In honor of Life series four, Life Series Bake Off AU
NEW SERIES LAUNCHES:
Nation charmed by fresh crop of 12 amateur bakers including intensely competitive student GRIAN, ambitious cake artists BDUBS and SCAR, scientific bread experts TANGO and IMPULSE, and ETHO who has no discernible social media presence and, rumor has it, doesn’t officially exist. Married couple JOEL and LIZZIE raise eyebrows—will they be able to compete against each other?—but this is settled when Lizzie immediately announces she would murder Joel in real life to win and has bought the kitchen knife set for it, and Joel lovingly declares he keeps an axe under his pillow in case this happens.
The judges as usual are renowned cake chef PEARL, bread expert MUMBO, and our two inimitable presenters: BIGB, beloved by the nation for his gentle reassurances of weeping contestants, and MARTYN whose main contribution is his trademark eyebrow waggles as we find out from the judges who’s in trouble this week.
TART WEEK (1)
Tart week gets off to a strong start, with contestant REN charming both the judges and Martyn with his exquisite tarte au citron and his total inability to let a double-entendre go to waste (‘I’m just a tart triumph all over’ he proclaims, to Martyn’s immediate delighted riposte ‘Mm, but what do you do on the weekends?’). Law student JIMMY is not so lucky when a misreading of the recipe leads to ten times the correct amount of butter and a catastrophic oven meltdown. Star baker goes to early favorite BDUBS for an exquisite three-tier tart showstopper.
Week one elimination is, of course, the hapless Jimmy, and the recaps are united on two fronts: it's always nice to see someone on the show who reminds you of your own midnight experiments, but holy shit Jimmy, did it not give you a clue when the melted butter started pouring out of the oven like you’d stabbed the spirit of margarine to death in there. Jimmy's butter meltdown becomes a meme and he sells T-shirts; Joel immediately posts a picture wearing one.
CAKE WEEK (2)
Week two brings cake week and an impressive performance from SCAR, who embarks on a showstopper Baked Alaska in the shape of a snow-covered mountain. Tranquil in the face of GRIAN’S constant disparaging comments about his whisking technique and browned meringue, Scar perseveres and is crowned star baker for the week, while Twitter immediately declares Grian the villain of the season. A contingent of viewers theorising ‘could this be flirting’ are swiftly shouted down on social media and retreat to a dedicated subthread on a cookery forum.
Last week’s star baker BDUBS seems distracted by his new-found friendships with the quiet ETHO, who spends hours on the surprisingly unambitious Victoria Sponge. A conspiracy theory emerges that Etho invented the Victoria Sponge, refuted by weak counterarguments like “cannot possibly be true” and “he would have to be several hundred years old.” Meanwhile the nation is won over by JOEL and LIZZIE’S chemistry as they trade quips and spatulas, unfortunately Joel is eliminated after a jam mishap, at which he declares “at least I went out after Jimmy.”
TEA-TIME WEEK (3)
Tea-time week brings florentines and shortbread, but it’s a sad week for love as REN is out after his overambitious scones fail to impress. “I’m heartbroken,” Martyn announces, and cannot be consoled even by Scott’s superb showstopper petite-fours. Ren was a good sport to the end, everyone agrees. Ren spotted at a Covent Garden coffee shop with Martyn three weeks later.
HALLOWEEN WEEK (4)
The mood is jovial for Halloween week, with judge MUMBO in fake vampire fangs while ETHO bakes cookies in the form of anatomically correct skulls. LIZZIE starts off with adorable witch-hat cupcakes in little witch hats, then spends the rest of the episode precisely and effortlessly crafting a blood red mirror glazed sachertorte which the presenters refuse to look at because it “makes them uncomfortable”, and is subsequently awarded star baker for the most genuine aura of threat ever achieved by a cake.
Meanwhile GRIAN and SCAR continue to genially snipe at each other throughout. TANGO asks BDUBS to turn his oven off at a crucial moment; unfortunately Bdubs forgets and then blames Tango for relying on him, leading to the charred mess of Tango’s showstopper and a social media uproar dubbed “OvenGate”. Bdubs alternately sorrowful and dramatically dismissive. This cruel betrayal knocks Tango out of the tent; a public petition is started for his reinstatement.
WEDDING WEEK (5)
Puppet theater designer CLEO has her star turn in wedding week with ranks of beautiful marzipan figurines on all her bakes. An intense rivalry develops between her and wedding-enthusiast BDUBS, who declares his magnificent fondant confection a dry run for his impending marriage to ETHO, a stranger he met ten days ago. When asked by presenters how much of this is a joke, Etho laughs and says “I guess?”, which leaves the nation none the wiser. Unfortunately IMPULSE’S canapes are considered uninspired and he is uninvited from both the wedding reception and the series.
BREAD WEEK (6)
The feared bread week comes around and all the artistic cake-makers wobble badly. SCAR and GRIAN just scrape through, but CLEO’S triumph last week turns to tragedy despite the trouble she has gone to to model a realistic centaur out of sourdough. Bdubs makes an impromptu speech to camera about how she was robbed but he intends to triumph in her honor.
MEDIEVAL WEEK (7)
The experimental medieval week takes the bakers on an outdoor camping trip where they will attempt to build their own stoves and use them to replicate historical bread techniques. BDUBS’S enthusiasm for this and his drive to impress ETHO turn out to be his downfall as, distracted, he builds a stove that bleeds heat and fails to brown his bread. Etho meanwhile excels at both the survival and breadmaking aspects, leading to a divide on Twitter on whether this level of competence is hot or just very concerning, potentially the cake equivalent of a serial killer. The Victoria Sponge theory is raised again. Etho alleviates some concerns by getting lost three times in an open field over the course of the episode, which loses him enough baking time that dark horse SCOTT pips him to the post of star baker.
WINTER WARMTH WEEK (8)
Week eight arrives and five bakers remain: LIZZIE and SCOTT are known to be good all-rounders, ETHO is the reigning technical expert, SCAR remains the favorite on the cakes side, and GRIAN is mainly known for his habit of constantly sneaking spoonfuls of Scar’s cake mix so he can mock the taste. Social media opinion is divided into “Grian is a good baker actually”, “Grian is only still in because of executive meddling”, and the small but determined contingent of “no guys we really think they’re flirting??” who have emerged from their cookery subthread unbowed and with compilations of video evidence.
The set gets cozy with winter warmth week. Brandy-based showstoppers are the order of the day, and LIZZIE wins the episode by crafting a biscuit unicorn with a mane you can set on fire. ETHO invents an intricate brandy plumbing system to shoot flaming alcohol above his plum pudding—this attempt is in fact a good deal too successful and instead sets MARTYN’S hair on fire. GRIAN comes to his aid but ends up adding more brandy. Judge PEARL extinguishes the flames with a bowl of cinnamon milk. The judges are clearly not feeling merciful when it comes to the scores and Etho’s run comes to a premature end.
DOUBLES WEEK (9)
Some old favorites return for doubles week, where each of the remaining four bakers is helped out by an eliminated contestant on the other end of the phone. GRIAN for once assesses the limits of his own talents and asks to pair up with ETHO, a plan that immediately pays off when the contestants are challenged with a tricky technical that sees them baking the perfect pumpernickel bread. SCAR, having asked to pair up with BDUBS, is quickly underwater as neither of them understand yeast.
Scar’s floundering proves too much for Grian, who belligerently passes along his pumpernickel tips from Etho, saving Scar’s technical enough for him to scrape through. When challenged by Martyn, Grian grudgingly admits, “I just want Scar to stay in, okay?” Some recaps clear him of his villain status; others are still convinced it’s a fluke.
Meanwhile SCOTT turns in an efficient technical with help from CLEO and also JIMMY, who is apparently sitting in Cleo’s living room just to heckle Scott. LIZZIE calls on husband JOEL, but a combination of overconfidence and flirting distracts them both, leading to a burnt crust and Lizzie’s elimination from the final four.
MERINGUE WEEK (Final Episode)
In the finale, SCOTT, SCAR, and GRIAN face off over a series of escalating meringue-based challenges. Whatever alliance sprung up between Grian and Scar in the last episode is clearly water under the bridge as the two of them obsessively steal each other’s ingredients and annoy each other into trivial mistakes. This escalates into a noisy quarrel over the main challenge of the week: an edible diorama of a cactus ring. Scar’s attempts to ‘aesthetically correct’ Grian’s mountain diorama leads to Grian melting his sugar-spun cacti with a crème brulée torch.
The two are no longer speaking by the showstopper, where Grian embarks on a desperate attempt to make up points with an ambitious trifle in a castle-shaped wall of macarons while Scar builds his own grand macaron diorama. The clock ticks down. Scott is creating an impeccable strawberry pavlova. The trifle is going badly. Grian is covered in sugar and regret. BigB pats him reassuringly on the shoulder.
At the last moment, Scar sacrifices half his perfect macarons to donate to Grian’s diorama. Grian, for once lost for words, grabs his apron and kisses him right in front of Martyn’s swiftly-derailed countdown. “Grian had a beautiful artistic vision,” Scar says sentimentally afterwards. “You have to respect the craft!” They snog behind the tasting table. Mumbo gamely attempts to award points. Pearl in a laughing fit behind the cameras. Martyn and BigB solemnly wrap up the shot with Martyn’s best cake-based innuendoes. Grian and Scar do not notice.
Scott wins the series. He got so many more points on the cactus ring technical.
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letsgetrowdy43 · 8 months
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What to expect when you're expecting ☆—
Finally got around to writing how our faves, Honey and Quinner handled their first-ever expectancy with Warren Hughes, ft. their wedding
warnings: mentions of pregnancy/birth, sickness, swearing, lmk anything else
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Au Masterlist!!
“Close your eyes, Jack, please don't ruin the surprise,” the girl laughed as she placed her hand over his eyes which he refused to keep shut, her other hand swatting him in the shoulder as Ellen scolded her middle child.
Quinn and Honey quietly walked around the living room to retrieve the Christmas presents they hid from the entire Hughes family. Tiny shadow boxes for the Hughes and one for each of Honeys family who they would be visiting later in the day. Little displays of sonograms paired with baby onesies, sat perfectly behind a layer of glass, Honey grinned as she placed one on the boy's laps and a shared one for Jimmy and Ellen. A tiny Michigan onesie paired with a sonogram for Luke, a Devils for Jack, and one that said “the newest member of team Hughes” on it for Jim and Ellen
It was perfect.
“I’m so excited,” Ellen said as she felt the cool glass of her gift, secretly hoping for something homemade from the couple, loving the more thought-out gifts compared to anything else.
Luke let out a sigh as he awaited being allowed to simply open his eyes, “can we look now?” the built-up suspense was beginning to kill him. Quinn shook his head with a laugh, “You can now,” taking a deep breath as he took his spot next to Honey on the carpet. Intertwining their fingers as she leaned her head against his shoulder, he placed a kiss on the crown of her head as all of the remaining Hughes family members let out gasps.
“You’re kidding!” Ellen it for a moment longer before putting the gift in Jim’s lap and hopping out of her spot on the couch and hugging the two of them.
Tears in her eyes as she swayed them back and forth, “I’m crying, my babies,” she wiped her tears and pulled away to look Honey in the eyes, “Are you showing?”
Honey shrugged as she uncovered the slight bump, “I’m only about five weeks, which is kinda early to announce it to you guys but I just couldn't wait, I kinda just look bloated,” she joked as she looked back to Jack who had tears in his eyes.
Luke’s jaw was dropped and Jack was extremely emotional as the couple turned their attention to them. “We’re gonna be uncles,” Luke said with a growing smile as he got up and hugged Honey, “holy shit you guys are gonna have a baby” "yeah we are," Quinn mumbled as a teary-eyed Jack lunged forward to hug his older brother.
"I thought I was gonna have the best gifts this year," he joked as Honey let out a laugh, the boy turning to her and diving at her and capturing her in a hug, "this is the best present ever!"
☆☆☆☆
"Honey, are you two sure you want to have the wedding before you have the baby? No one is forcing you to get married before," her mom said as she looked at the template for the invitation in her email. Honey let out a sigh as she sat bundled up in a blanket on the couch, Quinn was out on a roadie as she was tucked away in the house trying to get started with the planning on their wedding, "I just really want to marry him, mom, it was happening soon with or without the baby," she huffed and shut the laptop.
This had been a topic of conversation with not only her mother, but her father, and a few of her work friends. Seemingly the most tiring conversation she'd ever had, seeing as everyone believed the two only wanted to get married because of the baby, which was not the case. Honey and Quinn already knew that their end game was marriage, it was something they both dreamt about in the near future, already having it planned out months before the proposal or the baby.
"I know honey, you guys are in love, I just don't want you to stress yourself out and something happen to you or the baby," she said softly, trying to reason with her daughter who had been contrary as of late and filled with pregnancy hormones. "I know," she took a sip of her tea, "I just feel like we've been having this conversation for weeks and I haven't changed my thoughts on it, and I'm not stressed, I've looked into a planner to help me with everything, and Quinn is just a dream, per usual." "well as long as you have it under control, I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle,” her mom said in a gentle tone as she settled in bed next to Honey’s father.
“Speaking of walking down the aisle, I really want you and Ellen here when I try on my dress, I’ll pay for your ticket, I really want my mom there to help me pick out the dress for the big day,” honey smiled as she listened to the excited squeal her mom let out on the other end.
“Of course, I’ll be there sweetheart whenever you need me there, I’ll be on the first flight out,” she said contently
☆☆☆☆
Quinn grinned as he watched Honey unpack her grandmother's vintage jewellery, a smile on her face as she looked up and Quinn as she picked up her rehearsal dinner dress and laid it out on the hotel bed, "we are gonna be husband and wife in less than twenty-four hours" "I know, I'm so excited," he smiled as he propped himself up on his elbow, his hand motioning for her to lean down so he could press a kiss to her lips.
"you getting cold feet yet?" she questioned with a smirk as she pulled away from his lips, smiling at the way he chased her for another kiss. "I could never, maybe a little nervous, but not because I'm marrying you, that's all I've ever wanted," he confessed with a nervous laugh as she flushed at the response, his arms wrapping around her waist to pull her onto the bed, laid right on top of him. "Good"
"Have you picked a best man yet?" Honey asked as he peppered kisses on her cheek, "You've been putting it off." "Well since we've decided to name our firstborn after Luke I think it's only appropriate to make Jack the best man, plus Luke didn't write a speech for the reception and Jack did so I think he should be rewarded for that," he said halting the soft kisses to look at her jaw as he held her face in his hands just staring at her for a second, taking in that last few alone moments they were gonna have before their week-long honeymoon in Italy before they headed back to Michigan for the start of off-season training and getting ready for the arrival of their baby boy.
"I can't wait for tomorrow, Mrs Hughes." A wide grin danced on her lips as she collapsed next to him on the bed, "I think I just swooned" she whispered as she placed a kiss on his shoulder, his hand finding comfort on her now-showing stomach.
☆☆☆☆
“Quinn is going to bawl his eyes out when he sees you,” Ellen said with tears in her eyes as she straightened the flower crown that sat on top of Honey's head, “my only daughter,” she said, trying to hold back the tears that were bound to fall. “Thank you, Ellen, for everything,” Honey whispered with a smile, choking back tears as she hugged her mother-in-law.
The bride pulled away, fanning her face as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill, “have you seen Quinn this morning?” “He’s been itching to see you all morning” she laughed as she fixed the vintage necklace that hung from the bride's neck, a smile on her lips as she looked up at the blue earrings that hung from her ears, Hughes family heirlooms.
Honey smiled warmly, as she thought about how nervous Quinn must be, knowing how much he hates photos and public speaking. Wondering if he had as equally a rough sleep as her without her occupying her side of the mattress.
“I miss him” “Girl it’s been twelve hours, you will see him soon,” one of Honey’s cousins spoke from behind her as Ellen smiled from ear to ear. “I should go make sure my other two sons are being behaved,” Elle said as she squeezed Honey’s hand and went to find Luke, Jack, and Jim.
The conversations in the room grew louder and louder as the anticipation for the big moment grew, with every second Honey’s nerves seemed to triple.
“I’m gonna get some air,” the bride mumbled to her mom and wedding planner. “I’ll escort you outside,” Sheila, her planner offered with a smile as her mom rubbed her back. “No no, I’m just nauseous, probably just the baby,” she said pointing at her stomach as she excused herself into the hall trying to find the nearest exit to the vineyard to get some air.
The backs of her hands pressed against her cheeks, flushed with nerves as she stumbled upon a man sitting on a bench with his head in his hands. “You sure you’re not getting cold feet?” Honey asked with a smile as Quinn looked up at her, lost for words as she shuffled forward and took a seat next to him. “I’m uh- you look, god I can’t even explain how beautiful you look” he finally looked her in the eyes, his face flushed shyly. “You look very handsome as well,” she mumbled as her hands reached forward and straightened the tie on his neck, then racked her fingers through his hair to return it to his previously styled look.
Quinn's eyes bounced around her face as examined the way the dress sat perfectly on her silhouette, accentuating her bust and waist, all while perfectly concealing her baby bump. Hair falling just perfectly past her shoulders, the flower crown on her head making her eyes look warm and soft. “Isn’t it bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?” He asked as he reached out for her hand, her head leaning against his shoulder as they watched their guests starting to arrive. She shrugged, “Probably, but I don’t care, I needed this,” Honey whispered as she lifted his hand up to kiss his knuckles, her other hand resting on her stomach as she took a deep breath.
"You have trouble sleeping last night?" she asked as she looked up at him. Quinn laughed and nodded, Honey's stomach did flips as she drank in his laugh, "I was so anxious all night, not to mention Trevor and Jack's loud snoring throughout the night."
“You're about to be my wife,” he grinned, as he stared up at the sun peaking through the leaves of the trees. "I know, I can't wait," she said with a quiet squeal before she looked at the watch on Quinn's wrist, "I should probably get back for pictures," she said quietly as Quinn nodded and stood up with her. "See you in an hour, Mrs. Hughes," he said with a smile as she flushed and headed back inside the venue.
☆☆☆☆ "Quinn," she gasped and tensed up, her hand trying to find him, "he's kicking me!" she squealed quietly, pushing his shoulder, attempting to wake him up.
The two of them had gotten back from their trip to Italy, beautifully tanned and very jetlagged, excited to get back to Michigan to start getting ready for their baby boy.
Quinn tired rolled over, his hands raking through his curls as he nuzzled his face into her cheek, “what’s wrong?” Honey rolled her eyes and took ahold of his hand, placing it on her lower stomach, Quinn fully awoke in seconds, his eyes widened as he looked up from the bump to the exasperated smile dancing on his wife's lips.
"He's kicking," he said in a state of shock as the baby finally settled, "he's so perfect already," he sigh and laid back down on his pillow, still facing Honey as she yawned. "I'm so excited to meet him," Honey mumbled as she felt Quinn's lips press against her shoulder, a soft smile on her lips as Quinn wrapped an arm around her torso. A short hum of the agreement left Quinn's mouth as he snuggled into her side, she finally settled down, her hand intertwined with the one he draped over her mid-drift as she closed her eyes and let sleep take over.
☆☆☆☆
Ellen squealed as she shorted through the array of baby clothes that were currently taking up the entire guest bedroom closet, tiny gender-neutral outfits (I like the idea that Honey and Quinn keep the baby's gender between themselves, kinda like a little intimate secret all to themselves), muted orange and yellow onesies laid out of the bed. Honey and Ellen began to pack her hospital bag for the approaching day, only three weeks away, and soon a new Hughes baby would be welcomed into the world.
"You getting excited?" Ellen asked as she sorted through all of the gifts from the baby shower, bags of baby blankets, diapers, soothers, and so many other baby essentials. Honey smiled as she began folding and organizing all of the baby's outfits, "I'm so excited, but I'm so scared at the same time," she said in a soft tone as Ellen stopped in her tracks. the older woman sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her, "I'm all ears if you want to talk it through, I've been through this three times now so I can walk you through all of it," she said as she encouragingly rubbed her daughter-inlaws shoulder. Honey sighed, "I'm fine with birth, I'm just so scared of the after, I sometimes feel incapable to take care of myself so I'm just scared to let him down."
Ellen shook her head, and smiled, "All new moms feel like that, you're going in blind, so it's totally normal to be intimidated" she said hugging the young woman, "but I promise you I will be here whenever you need me, I'm just a plane away, and I mean whenever."
Honey's eyes began to water as she hugged her mother-in-law back, "Thank you, Ellen, for the support, and the love over the years." "hun, you've been my family for nearly ten years, I will always be in your corner," Ellen said, tears now in her eyes as she pressed a kiss to her daughter's cheek, "you have any problem at all, even if it's regarding my son, call me and I will handle it."
☆☆☆☆
Quinn and Honey were out to breakfast the morning of August 29th, and the entire day from that breakfast and well into the afternoon felt off. Breakfast ended abruptly when Honey began to get angsty, that strong nesting instinct that the doctors had warned about was now in full swing, needing to be as close to home as possible at all times just in case. A strong need for everything to be clean and prepared for the moment the baby came, she felt off at all times. Tired and nauseous as her due date snuck up on her.
It was just after dinner when her water broke, Honey had opted out of laying in bed to sit back and admire Quinn while he trained with his brothers in their garage. "Fuck," she gasped as she stood up and one of the first contractions hit, "Quinn, we need to go," she said looking down at her maternity overalls. Quinn, Jack, and Luke all looked up confused before seeing the fear that rested behind her eyes, followed by a hiss of pain as she sat back down, doing breathing exercises as she waited for this contraction to pass.
"shit, shit, okay" Quinn walked over to her and lowered himself to be face-to-face with her, "can I help walk you to the car?" he asked as his hands held her face in them. "yes please" she cried as she squeezed his wrist. "Jack you go get me the keys and the go bag which is in the entrance closet," Quinn demanded, watching as Jack went from shocked to running in the direction of the house, "Luke call Mom and Dad, and Hun's parents," Luke nodded and immediately had the phone up to his ear.
"Are you ready for this pretty girl?" he said brushing the hair out of her face. Honey nodded slowly as her eyes squinted, wincing in pain. "Then let's go have this baby"
☆☆☆☆
Warren was born early the next morning, after nearly twelve hours of intense labour, Quinn nearly passing out from anxiety, and many other bumps in the road that the nurses kept referring to as the 'miracles of birth'.
"He's here!" the Doctor announced as she wiped the little boy off and placed him right onto Honey's chest, tears rolling down her face as she examined her little boy's face. She looked up at Quinn with tears in her eyes, "we did it!" she whispered as her thumb ran over the soft skin of the baby's back. "That was all you Hun, I was just here holding your hand," Quinn said with tears in his eyes as he leaned down and placed a kiss on his wife's lips, tasting the saltiness of her tears as he pulled away to look adoringly at his son and wife. "You almost passed out," the young woman smirked, mockingly, as Quinn laughed and wiped his tears away.
Quinn silently sobbed the moment the nurse suggested that Quinn did skin-on-skin with the infant, barely able to wrap his mind around the idea that this little baby was his. a product of his love for his wife and a new direction in his life. "you okay love?" Honey asked as she watched the boy silently cry, exhaustion filling her voice as she looked over to her husband and baby. "yeah I'm okay," he assured before going silent once again.
Jack and Luke were the final immediate family members to come into the delivery room after the birth, smiles on their faces and bouquet of flowers in their hands as they knocked on the door. "Wash your hands." was the first thing that left Quinn's mouth as he opened the door for his brothers. Happy smiles took over their faces as she saw Honey holding the little bundle in her arms.
"Sooo what's their name?" Jack grinned as he was motioned to sit on the recliner next to the bed, tears filling his eyes as Quinn placed the small baby in his arms. "Meet Warren Haye Hughes, our first son" Honey smiled as she looked over to a shocked Luke, his face going from some form of shy into a dropped jaw as he leaned forward and hugged his sister-in-law. Luke pulled still in shock, "you're serious?" he questioned while turning to his oldest brother and pulling him into a tighter hug. "never been more serious in my life Moosey," Quinn said in tears, this new fatherhood thing had made him extremely soft in the past three hours.
No one paid attention to Jack as he mumbled quiet promises to the baby, tears rolling down his cheeks as the baby's hand reached out and took hold of the tip of his finger.
"My turn?" Luke said with a grin as he looked between the new parents for some sort of confirmation. Jack looked up with furrowed brows, "I just got to meet him though" Quinn tapped Jack on the shoulder, "I want to talk to you in the hall, so hand him over and you can hold him when we get back," Quinn motioned towards the door, looking over to Honey who smiled at him with rosy cheeks. "Okay"
Jack followed his older brother into the hallway, a confused expression on his face as Quinn shut the door behind him, "congrats by the way, I'm proud of you," Jack said lowly, being careful not to disrupt any of the hospital staff or sleeping people waiting for their family members. "Thanks," Quinn said with a grin.
"Honey and I have been discussing godparents for a while and the first name we both decided on was you, we want you to be Warren's godfather" Quinn barely got to finish his little speech before Jack pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. "Holy shit Quinn, of course," he said as Quinn hugged him back, "I will do everything possible to make sure he's always safe and loved" The tears began to start up again as he finally pulled away from his big brother's hold.
"I can't believe you're a dad," Jack said as he readjusted his hat and patted his brother on the back. "I know," he mumbled as he opened the door to see his wife and little brother laughing as they admired the baby, "it's fucking surreal."
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babygorewhore · 9 months
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The Type of text messages The Evan’s would send you. Flirting edition.
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Okay last fic of the day lol. Anyway this is a fun little concept I came up with and lemme know what more text messages you want in this series!!! WARNINGS! Kai being sexual and some flirting. But mostly fluff!
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Evan Peters.
- “Hi baby. You look so sexy. Can wait to kiss you…maybe more 😏”
- Also send you little paragraphs about how much he loves you.
Kit Walker.
- “Wow, Mrs. Walka. Are you free tonight? Can I take you out for some midnight dancing?”
- Includes a lot of dick jokes.
Kyle Spencer.
- “You’re so pretty. Come kiss me, Angel.”
- If he’s undead. I feel like Kyle would use a lot of emojis. Like ❤️😍😛
Tate Langdon.
- “Holy shit, you’re so gorgeous. Hey mamas.”
- “Thank you, baby.”
- “Can you send me another picture, mommy? 🥺”
Jimmy darling.
- Honestly he’s a little bit of a fuck boy lol
- “Aw, sugar. Only one picture? Come on…lemme see those pretty legs of yours. I imagine them wrapped around me.”
Kai Anderson.
- Hella sexual. Very inappropriate.
- “Open your mouth, spit a little and send me a video of you sucking your thumb.”
- “Kai, it’s just a picture of my new haircut.”
- “Did I stutter, princess?”
James Patrick March.
- Let’s imagine he’s figured out how to text.
- “My little bird, you look absolutely as beautiful as the midnight sky my pet. You must meet me in my quarters at once. Allow me to kiss you until we cannot breathe, yes? JPM.”
- “James. I know it’s you. You don’t have to sign your name.”
- “But what if someone were to impersonate me?”
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striderepiphany · 1 year
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My favorite reddie fics masterpost
I have an absolutely insane number of reddie fics saved in my bookmarks for how recently I joined this fandom so I decided to share my absolute favorites with you. Please give these authors some love and let me know which ones are you've read and enjoyed!
the year of the goat and your kid back by derryfacts2
1 chapter, 14,838 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: The day you get the most important email of your life, there’s a new black skidmark on the wall of the stairwell, and you know exactly whose fault it is. “Margaret,” you intone to the harried, wild-haired woman in the lobby. She sighs at you as she tries to jimmy her mail key loose. “I know.” It wouldn’t even be that bad if the kid would just skateboard outside. Or get good at skateboarding. Either of those things. Maggie’s a nice lady, though, and she’s had “trying my best” scribbled all over her since they moved into 6B maybe eight years ago. So you try not to be a dick, even if her son is a gold-standard pain in the ass. He’s good for three things: smells, noise, and reminding you how big Eddie must be by now.
The first It fic I read that made me go "holy shit, this is fantastic" and remains one of my all-timers (hence why its first in this list). Really fun and unique outsider POV from Eddie's estranged gay dad, and tells a very sweet story mostly through dialogue. Young adult Eddie and Richie are very cute.
i think the clock is slow by derryfacts2 (again)
3 chapters, 15,815 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: So there was that reason that work wasn’t boring, too. There was Richie’s soppy campaign of making cow eyes at the back of Eddie’s head as he passed, gently pressing Betty for details about his personal life (“I don’t think he has one. He had this awful fiancé a few years ago, but we’re all glad that’s over”), and chasing the incomparable high of a quiet, muttered “Thanks, Rich” whenever Richie picks something up for him from the copier.
Richie is a wannabe stand-up comic daylighting as the receptionist at Eddie's office. Eddie is a tightly-wound corporate asshole. They are both disasters. Or: five times Richie watched Eddie and one that Eddie watched him back.
I really enjoy workplace dramas and this one satisfied the itch so well. So many good scenes and dialogue, this author characterizes them in a way that really works for me. The perfect read-in-an-afternoon fic.
listen to my heart (can you hear it sing?) by vampirerising
12 chapters, 137,708 words, Major Character Death. Summary: "You need to wake up now,” Stan says softly. “This isn’t real.”
“I know, but I can’t,” Richie sobs. “I don’t want to be here.” Not again. Never again. It is dead, why is It still haunting him?
Stan fixes him with one of those looks of his, the one where he can see his every thought as if it were written on his face. “That’s not true, Trashmouth.”
Alternatively: We all know Richie gets caught in the Deadlights, but do we really know what happens after?
(Deadlights, timelines, Stan’s ghostly meddling—oh, my.)
This one is fucking weird in a way that I absolutely adore. Kind of like a sci-fi novel in that it requires you to pay attention to figure out what the fuck is going on but its so good and worth it. The MCD is Stan, not Eddie, and the last couple chapters are actually a very normal domestic Eddie lives AU. One of the first reddie artworks I made was fanart for a scene from this fic that I really enjoy.
a strange sense of familiarity by Katranga
21 chapters, 103,571 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "So Eddie, what brings you to the bar tonight?" Richie asked. "Gonna rebound from the divorce? Pick up a hot young twenty-something to feel young again?” “Fuck you,” Eddie said, jutting his chin forward. “What a terrible way to ruin the mood.” “I’m sorry, all my moods are poorly cultivated. What mood were you looking for?” A nervous lump grew in Eddie's throat. He threw back his drink to get rid of it.
Hand wrapped around the glass he’d just slammed back onto the bar, he said, “The mood that gets me leaving with a schlubby forty-something.”
Pre-chapter two, Eddie and Richie meet and don't remember each other, but have an instant connection anyway...
This one is just... so fucking good. Decently long without ever feeling like it's dragging. Part 1 is them developing their totally-casual-I-swear relationship, which blows up right when Mike calls them back to Derry. Part 2 is them navigating both killing a nightmare clown demon and the awkwardness between them. Also everybody lives! So that's nice.
change partners by avacadomoon (with podfic available)
1 chapter, 30,453 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "Rich," Eddie says heavily. Meaningfully, and Richie holds his breath, both afraid and hopeful that Eddie is about to say something really sappy, like I always knew and it didn't matter to me, or you know I support you no matter what. Eddie takes a deep breath before he speaks, and Richie closes his eyes, braced for it. "I didn't look at your dick pics."
"Well hey, Eds, thanks," Richie says, laughing incredulously. "Thanks for that."
I LOVE THIS ONE SOOO FUCKING MUCH. I urge you to consider this as a rec for this author as well, as they have a bunch of other reddie fics I think are fantastic. I have a weakness for any reddie fic that lets them be just a little mean to each other. As a treat. (Also the podfic is very well done, you should check that out too.)
check raise by avacodomoon
1 chapter, 15,061 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "Eddie, not a fan of stand up comedy, not a fan of his beer," Rich says, leaning back on one elbow and squinting at him, like he's lining him up in a camera lens frame, "but what is he doing drinking alone?"
"I was alone, and now I'm not," Eddie says. "Some prick sat down next to me and started yapping."
"Ah, unpleasant to talk to," Rich concludes. "Explains a lot."
I know I meant the last rec as a blanket rec for all this author's works but I'm including this one specifically because it has a twist ending that is well-foreshadowed and it slapped my dick clean off.
Things that Happen after Eddie Lives by IfItHollers
11 chapters, 107,947 words, Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings. Summary: In a world where Richie manages to save Eddie from It after the deadlights, they still have problems on their to-do list. Featuring everything from Derry to Los Angeles—Richie Tozier's murder trial, Eddie Kaspbrak's divorce proceedings, bedsharing of the platonic and non-platonic varieties, an investigation of magic, a truly disgusting séance, the quintessential morosexual road trip, and OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES.
Definitely NOT your average Eddie lives AU. Drama! Mild peril! Psychic abilities! The ghost of Stanley Uris collect calling from beyond the grave via Richie Tozier's vocal chords! Fun and freaky and weird. Three things that make any fic a Josh favorite.
I'm going to stop there because I'm sleepy but let me know if you want more! Like I said I've got like 70 of these lovingly tucked in my bookmarks and I'm happy to share with the class.
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hotvintagepoll · 16 days
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Propaganda
Martha Sleeper (Penthouse, Broken Dreams)— Her eyes are enough! She is one of the most beautiful women in old hollywood and should be more well known
Joan Blondell (Footlight Parade, The Public Enemy)—My Pre-code QUEEEEEN. Joan is a large part of why I love 30s movies. She's got such a flair and presence. She's not known for her voice, but her rendition of Remember My Forgotten Man will grab you by the heart. She played a variety of roles, and held her own with major stars like Bette Davis and Hot Vintage Poll icon James Cagney. She was a hardworker, even as Hollywood stopped giving her prime roles, and continued working in film and television up until her death. She's an absolute firecracker, even in her supporting roles I end up focused on her. Also, I just think it's cute that her name (real!) is Blondell.
This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]
Joan Blondell:
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A pre-code sweetie. Hot, funny and practical.
Criterion retrospective:
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Sharp-tongued, sharp-witted, and beautiful - what more could you ask for from a dame of the gangster film/screwball comedy era? (Also, James Cagney would want you to vote for her!)
with her sunny smile and characters tending to exhibit a blend of happy-go-lucky cheerfulness and scrappy toughness, joan blondell is one of the quintessential stars of the pre-code era. she and fellow fast-talking wisecracker james cagney were close friends, having met when they were in a broadway play together in 1929, and made seven movies together that ran the gamut from gangster pictures to comedies to musicals.
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She's absolutely hilarious and I love her
She's the wisecracking blonde who has been around the block and knows the score, but just look at those big blue eyes gazing at Jimmy Cagney as she burns the midnight oil to help him achieve his dreams and picks him up when he gets buffeted by life
Smart, snarky, and so sexy!
My Forgotten Man is one of the most haunting depictions of the consequences of WWI that I’ve ever seen, knocked out of the park by Joan Blondell’s performance. In one song number it traces sending the boys off to war, bringing them back to die in the streets maimed, drunk, and full of PTSD, then leaving them to starve in the Depression, framed by the suffering of the women who loved them. Holy shit? This is a musical number? They fucking produced this barnburner in a mainstream musical?
My Forgotten Man, in two parts:
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narrynukezankielover · 2 months
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Again these are my personal opinions or what I personally see or think as someone seeing these episodes for the first time.
To begin with the episode where Dean and Sam die and go to heaven. I love when someone else talks about Cas and only looks at Dean. The angel told Dean and Sam that god had done a lot for them but he was looking directly at Dean while saying that god had saved him, put them on a plane and brought Cas back for you. Then turned to Sam to say after everything he’s done. That sounds like god brought Cas back because he knows how much Cas means to Dean. Otherwise he would’ve been looking between the two of them.
Then the necklace. Up until now that necklace was a brotherly connection between Dean and Sam. Like I think Dean didn’t want to give it to Cas in the first place because Sam gave it to him. It’s special to him but once he gave it to Cas it meant hope. Hope that god would help. Then when they found out god didn’t really care yes it hurt Dean but what I think hurt Dean more was that Cas lost his faith in god. It’s like as long as Cas has hope Dean has hope. Then when Dean threw away the necklace the look on Sams face was like “you’re seriously throwing that out? I gave that to you.”
To me Becky represents the Jared or the J2 fans. The ones that think Jared is everything. Even the ones that ship Dean and Sam. I’m not going to lie the scene where she’s writing a sexual fan fic about them makes me want to throw up. They’re brothers fake brothers in a tv show but it’s still disgusting. Then Cas expresses how much he hates Sams voice and tells him not to ask stupid questions. It made me bust out laughing but it felt like Cas represents the other side of the fandom. I just had to put that in there because I love Cas honesty with that stuff and I had to agree with him.
So far my fave’s 2 episodes are the Jimmy episode and season 5 episode 18 which I believe is also the 100th episode. There is soooo much Destiel in it. I knew about these scenes I just didn’t realize they were all in the same episode.
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Dean telling Cas to blow him got him this look. Cas kept this look for a few seconds. It’s like wait that’s a sexual thing right? Did you really just say that? The guy is really confused.
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The “not for nothing Cas but last time someone looked at me like that I got laid” scene. HOLY SHIT. That was clearly flirting not a joke. Sam even gave Dean a “are you seriously flirting right now” look.
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(Sorry about the stuff in that picture I took it while I was watching the episode and clearly forgot to take it off). Then Dean gave Cas this smirk and a wink which looks like it might’ve been Jensen trying to make Misha laugh which could be why Cas look became even more intense. Could’ve been Misha trying hard to stay in character. Either way that’s some serious flirting.
Later Cas got worried about Dean and what I love is that when he heard something inside the room he opened the eye door but when he couldn’t see Dean he got really worried and had to go in. If it was anyone else in there Cas would’ve said it was a trap and left them alone but he couldn’t take that chance with Dean. I’m still trying to figure out tho how Sam left to find Dean a few seconds later yet Cas found him in no time (how did Cas know where to find Dean? Suppose it could’ve been he just went to the closest religious person. I love Cas honesty here telling the guy he prays too loudly) and Sam was back at Bobbys house when Cas and Dean got back. He didn’t spend much time looking for Dean.
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It’s not a sexual scene but it sure looks like it. Cas pushing Dean around telling him yet again how much he’s pissed that he rebelled for Dean so he wouldn’t have to say yes to Michael but yet here he is going to do it anyway. Dean didn’t even try to fight back. Don’t know if he knew Cas is a lot stronger than him and didn’t see the point in fighting back but knowing Dean I can’t see that being it. Or if what Cas was saying was finally getting through to his head and maybe thought he deserved what was happening and let Cas make the decision in this moment that he wasn’t saying yes right now.
I know the last episode of season 5 was supposed to be the last episode but some of it is just weird. Dean looked back at Cas sleeping and said “ain’t he a little angel.” Dean sounds so cute when he said that. It reminds me of in Good Omens Crowley calls Aziraphale angel all the time. At first it was because Aziraphale is an actual angel but over time it became a cute nickname like sweetie or honey. In this scene it felt like a cute nickname instead of just that Cas is an angel. Of course Sam ruined the moment when he said “angels don’t sleep.” Dean then looked confused and worried. The thing that pisses me off is that Sam made Dean promise to go to Lisa and have a life with her. It pisses me off because Dean didn’t say he wanted that life plus you just heard Dean saying something sweet about Cas and he thought it was a good time to bring this up. Really makes me want to punch Sam. Sam wants that life but he pushed that life on Dean in a promise. When they were in heaven Deans heaven was being with Sam but Sam’s heaven was being away from his actual family but being with a family. They really were going to let the show end with Dean liveing Sams happy ending. I’m trying to forget that shit happened but the fact that Dean didn’t want it makes it a bit easier. At least they didn’t try to say it was Deans idea.
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according2thelore · 6 days
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holy SHIT that excerpt was so good!!!!!! the elliott ness / hitler bit was hilarious. omg everything i ever could have dreamed and more…. inherent characteristic of dean of all ages is that he is a little shit, and also that he will kill himself for sam.
i also love that baby sam describes grownup sam as barely holding it together. i feel like hearing that would break older dean’s heart but older sam would really just take it as, like, yeah. a little bit true.
do you ever think of them interacting w other characters in this au? cas dropping by, or crowley or rowena or someone calling, lol. if this is set in an elongated season 11, lucifer would be horrific. or… hmm. I feel like claire would be funny, little dean tries to hit on her and she’s just absolutely disgusted.
omg omg omg anon i am kissing you kissing you kissing you kissing you thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!
and haha, thank you! it's so fun to see dean freak out in the moment about meeting his idols (dr. sexy, elliot ness) that i can only imagine how ES!Dean would react to the info that he would actually get to meet them one day! ES!Dean would lose his SHIT if he found out s1e1 that picking up sam from college would allow him to hit on daphne from scooby doo. could you fucking imagine??
LS!Dean would stare angstily into the distance about the "barely holding it together" comment but LS!Sam would say something equivalent to: "ha! yeah. fair enough."
in my idea of how this universe works, i think they would text all their friends a very clear do not come over!! leave us alone until we say it's okay!! we are safe!! personal business!! and everyone thinks they're having a crazy sex weekend, so they definitely do not want to come over. i think once we start adding more characters, this thing gets messy bc how the fuck are we going to explain to ES!Sam&Dean who JUST found out that vampires are real that their best friend is an angel and he also possessed his vessel's daughter claire, that's why she's here and also a hunter and also a child, say hi claire! huh? oh yeah this isn't cas's body, this is a guy named jimmy. no we don't think he's still in there. anyway. he was god for a bit but not anymore and hm? how? oh he ate a bunch of souls. because the king of hell told him to. no not the devil, the king of hell. who's the devil? well. funny story--
but hypothetically i can get down! i love the way your brain works!!! i think it's super fun to imagine all the characters interacting with these squeaky-toy versions of sam and dean who are even more insular and weird as the seasons go on. ES!Sam&Dean are so earnest! and excited! hypothetically speaking, i think it would go like this:
i have been harboring a secret little headcanon that sam and dean's souls look similar, since they're soulmates. to humans, they all just look like balls of light, but for angels or demons...
it makes me think about if cas pops by, he almost...doesn't notice? at first? it depends on the season, but if he's a full-graced angel, he sees the soul first, not the "vessel."
so he pops into the bunker, like "hello, dean. your soul is bright today. can i meet you and sam in the library?" and pops back out. and ES!Sam and LS!Dean are stood there, blinking. and LS!Dean is like. "well. fuck."
and when they all assemble in the war room, castiel looks back and forth between the four of them. for a minute and half of pure silence. "did you have kids?"
"identical kids?" LS!Sam asks, incredulous. "like spores?"
and castiel says "one second." and squints even harder and says. "oh. i see. there are four of you. why did you do that?"
and of course, LS!Sam&Dean are all, "did we do it? we thought someone--on your...ah. team. did this."
and ES!Dean's says, "who's this asshole? oh shit. is he blind? my bad."
"this is our best friend. castiel." LS!Dean says, trying not to laugh. "he has a...religious family."
"is this the friend that tried to be god?" ES!Dean asks, skeptically, and LS!Dean hits LS!Sam on the back of the head, hard.
"it's not my fault! he has big eyes!" LS!Sam says by way of explanation, like that means anything to anyone besides ES!Sam.
"it's very true." castiel agrees solemnly, and both sams trade a look about which thing cas is responding to.
ES!Dean and cas would get along like a house on fire, which is to say...the winchesters don't have a great track record with those. but ES!Sam and cas?? oh boy. best friend alert. if it slips that cas is an angel, ES!Sam is big-eyed, heart-thumping, breathless excited, which none of the other 3/4 are too jazzed about. cas is quite pleased. he preens like a peacock.
"why yes. my true form would melt your eyeballs, samuel." and ES!Sam is almost bouncing up and down in glee. cas never calls sam samuel, but he thinks it adds a biblical affect that ES!Sam clearly appreciates.
they have tea together.
read: sam spills boiling water over his hand while trying to make them tea and cas takes a great deal of satisfaction in healing it. by holding his hand.
read: LS!Dean kicks open the imaginary door of the kitchen like OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH. HE'S A CHILD. DROP THE BABY.
~~~
crowley texts LS!Dean an ASMR video of someone reading threatening reddit comments (what fucked-up psychological warfare tactic is this??) and when ES!Dean sees the notification, he asks,
"who is the contact with the little devil picture and the...is that an egglant?"
"how did he change his name in my fucking phone? pizza hut. no one. what phone?" LS!Dean throws it across the room because he knows that without a shadow of a fucking doubt that crowley would unhinge his jaw and swallow ES!Sam&Dean whole if he got the chance. or at least desperately try to convince them into a threesome. 
there's no risk of that, but dean is NOT going to explain the 'king of hell' business, so he leaves it be.
~~~
maybe jody (that introduction actually goes smashingly) would bring claire around one day, and, yeah anon, you're right. ES!Dean is a limpet. he's pulling out all the stops. he leans seductively against the table in the war room. he winks a lot. he breaks eye contact coquettishly. claire is stuck between finding it amusing and being horrifically disgusted. she audibly gags when dean smolders.
claire starts to say, "you do know i'm--"
and ES!Dean cuts her off with a shit-eating grin, "if you're about to say your age, don't. i like plausible deniability."
and claire nods for a second before suddenly reaching out, grabbing him, and flipping him over her shoulder. she breaks a chair with his flying body. no one helps him up.
if anything, this makes her hotter, and ES!Dean sees LS!Sam get genuinely angry at him for the first time when he says so.
"back off, dean. i'm serious."
and ES!Dean gets so immediately, blindingly hard that he has to go sulk in his room for a minute or thirty or risk showing the exact shape of his dick to the room at large.
"yes sir. sammy. what the fuck? i'm gonna--" runs into the wall. "i've gotta. fuck. no-- i mean. hahahahahahahahah---" *fading into the distance as dean waddles awkwardly away*
~~~
(and hypothetically speaking, lucifer would be a fucking horror show. LS!Sam is literally covering ES!Sam with his body because didn't he get to ruin sam long enough? you don't get me any earlier. you can't touch him, i won't let you fucking touch him. ES!Dean can tell something is Not Good Bad Wrong Fucked and the sheer depth of terror, of trauma, scares the fucking shit out of him. he looks desperately to LS!Dean like a child looking at their father, can you fix this, how do we fix this? and no one has any answers. lucifer is obsessed. it's a nightmare.)
~~~
anyway, lol! i hope you liked! this one was super fun to think about! dean is always kind of a skeeze, but early seasons especially so lol. i think a lot of people would have a field day w that! and ES!Sam is so earnest and trusting!
thank you again for this ask anon! i always love hearing which part of fics/these posts are folks favourites! kissing you!
have a great day! :)
-lizzy
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mzv11 · 9 months
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Black Magic (18+)
Characters: Roman Reigns (I'll be using his real name) , Remi Laurent (Original Character)
Warning: drinking, language, blood, murder, No smut yet
Word Count: 3.3K
A/N: This was inspired by re-watch of True Blood and my love overall of vampire movies. There’s a little from multiple vampire universes mixed in…a vampire gumbo. I hope y’all like it.
Tagged girlies:@southerngirl41 @theogsamoanqueen @alichesmi @purplehairgawdess @vebner37 @jstarr86 @reci24 @romanreignseater @claymorexpunisher @niknakbucks92 @fame-ass-ers
After such a long, long road that kept him at the top of the mountain for so long, Roman decided that it was time. He needed something different, things had become different. His dreams had grown more and more vivid, maybe it was time to make the jump to Hollywood. He saw himself in all these hero roles. Was he destined to follow in the footsteps of his cousin Dwayne? That had to be what it all meant right? Go be an action hero. After a long talk with Triple H, he decided it was time. The date for his final match was set, the announcement had been made. The #ThankYouRoman PR train had left the station. The victory lap had begun. Roman woke up the next morning completely at peace with walking away. There had to be something else for him to do with his life, his dreams had to mean something. His final match would be at Wrestlemania in New Orleans, against Cody Rhodes. 
“You nervous, Uce?” Roman’s cousin Solo Sikoa asked as they sat down for breakfast on the morning of Wrestlemania. “Not really. I’m at peace.” he spoke, enjoying his orange juice. Jimmy and Jey sat down “So what’s next? Off to Hollywood? I know Dwayne’s been dying to get you in stuff.” Jimmy asked. “I don’t know. I’m going to chill for a bit and re-evaluate in a few months. After tonight, I want to chill here for a few days and then do nothing. I’m glad y’all are all here. It’s been awhile since we’ve all worked together. And I just want to say how proud I am of you all.” Roman spoke, internally reflecting on all the times he went to battle with his cousins and how they created the best storyline in the modern era. There was no longer a Tribal Chief but a Tribal Council consisting of Roman, Jimmy, Jey and Solo. They had younger cousins they now mentored but nothing to the extent of the original Bloodline story, Roman was the lifeblood of that and without him, something was missing. 
As they ate and talked, they all noticed a beautiful bronze skinned woman moving from table to table checking on the patrons. She approached from over Roman’s right shoulder. He could feel her presence before she actually stood before them. “Y’all doin alright? Can I getcha anything?” Her angelic voice spoke as she eyed them. Her eyes were a stunning sapphire blue in contrast with her warm bronze skin. Her name tag read: Remi L., Host. “Everything is fine, thanks.” Roman was the only one not too stunned enough to speak. “Wonderful. Y’all enjoy.” She beamed almost floating away. Once she was gone, the air came back into the room. “Holy fuckin shit. That was intense.” Jimmy spoke, watching her move around the room. “Y’all froze up like a bunch of bitches. It’s like you’ve never seen a pretty lady before.” Roman laughed, his eyes meeting hers from across the room. It was like she was staring into the unknown depths of his soul, something about her was calling out to something ancient within him. It was a push and pull like the ebb and flow of the tide.
The countdown to his final match had begun, but he wasn’t nervous. His time backstage was full of people congratulating him on a career well worked. Up in the owners box, Remi sat in a chair watching the matches below, this wasn’t really her thing but as the owner of the Superdome, it was a good look for the venue if the owner was seen being friendly with the WWE executives and shareholders. She tried to look interested, she really did. “Boss, you’re doing the face thing again.” Remi’s right hand man Victor spoke softly. “Sorry. I’m bored, these people are pretty boring, they don’t even smell appetizing!” Remi spoke, walking out to the balcony to see who was coming up next. “This is his final match, he’s retiring after tonight.” Triple H spoke, appearing next to Remi. “I’m sorry, I’m not very familiar with your sport. It’s entertaining. Who is retiring?” She spoke, being drowned out by Roman’s music hitting and the crowd going wild. Remi’s eyes narrowed as she smelled him on the air. She smelled them all, the men from breakfast. “Roman Reigns. One of the best to ever lace up boots. I’m happy for him. He comes from a famous wrestling family.” Hunter spoke proudly. “Oh, good for him. Hopefully he goes off and does something good.” Remi laughed, sipping a “pomegranate smoothie” Victor handed her. Maybe she’d be less annoyed by this whole corporate affair after she ate.
Remi pulled out her phone to Google this Roman Reigns man. The man from the restaurant. She scrolled as his opponent came out, some bleach blonde in American flag regalia. Remi googled him too. The way this Roman Reigns moved looked familiar to Remi. Like he had lived many lives and learned many fighting styles. Her maker had lived a thousand lives and told her stories of a mythical anomaly: a Vitruvian. They were destined to return lifetime after lifetime to be a warrior. They usually found themselves being protectors of royalty or leaders of armies. Was Roman Reigns one of these people? Remi had some books she could study in her archives later. Remi wished that she could go back to the start of his career to watch him in the ring. The way he moved was a symphony of muscle and magic. With each unique move he hit, Remi caught flashes of his past lives. She saw Sparta, Africa, Mongolia, Japan, New Zealand and Samoa in his movements. He won his final match and got emotional at the “Thank You Roman” chants that followed. He thanked his fans for all the love and support over the years. His music hit one final time as he hugged Hunter and his cousins at the top of the ramp. One final time throwing his ☝🏾 in the air as his pyro hit as the stadium went dark. Remi and Victor mingled with the shareholders for a few more minutes before taking the private elevator to the underground garage. “That was…intriguing.” Remi sighed, sinking into the plush interior of the backseat of the Rolls Royce Cullinan that Victor chauffeured her around town in. “Do you need to eat again?” Victor asked, their eyes meeting in the rear view mirror. “No Victor I’m fine. We can go to the bar.”
Roman did his last press conference and his cousins took him to this bar for a ‘retirement’ party. More than half the roster was there. Much to his surprise, she was there. The woman with the stunning blue eyes dressed in all black. She sat at a corner table, people stopping by to acknowledge her. “Who is this woman?” Roman thought out loud. “That’s the woman from the hotel. I’m thinking you should go shoot your shot before Lashley does.” Jey said pointing to Bobby Lashley who was gathering the liquid courage to go talk to the woman drenched in black. “Fuck it YOLO.” Roman spoke as he grabbed his drink and zigzagged through the crowd best he could. He kept getting stopped to talk. He looked up once while chatting with Seth and Becky and she was gone. His stomach dropped, until he looked up, spotting her back in her corner but wasn’t alone. There was a tall, light skinned man with blonde locs next to her speaking into her ear. Of course she wasn’t single. As the man was talking, her eyes met Roman’s from across the room, she smiled. “The wolves send their apologies to you my queen. They were simply passing through. There have also been word of a small group of vamps harassing people in the Treme. I have our best tracking them and we should have them handled before we go to ground.” Victor spoke, noticing the man watching them from the crowd of people. “Looks like you have an admirer. Shall I scare him off?” Victor laughed. “Victor! You never let me have any fun with the mortals. I met him earlier at the hotel. There’s something about him, he smells different than the others.” Remi groaned. She was Victor’s maker but he often neglected that fact, he had sworn to protect her until the end of his nights. “I’ll go join the hunt until morning. Be good my queen. I’ll keep you updated.” He laughed, bowing discreetly and leaving the bar.
After chatting with Seth and Becky, Roman made a beeline for her table. He laughed seeing a defeated Bobby Lashley flop back down into a chair. “You’re very popular. We never properly met. I’m Joe. You’re Remi right?” He extended his hand to her. “Yes, I’m Remi. What can I do for you this evening Joe? Or should I say Roman?” Remi laughed gesturing to the ‘Congratulations Old Man Roman’ banner hanging in the back of the bar. “Formerly known as Roman Reigns. That’s behind me now. Remi, I’d love for you to have a drink with me. Pick your poison, they’ve got a bunch of wild shit here to drink.” Joe spoke, waving a waitress to the table. “The usual Ms. Remi?” The young woman said. Remi nodded. “You have a usual Ms. Remi?” He joked. “I own this place with my brother.” She spoke while sipping the reddish drink sat in front of her. She never had to ask for a refill and eventually joined him with his cousins. The more he drank, the sweeter the scent of him became. Remi had to get out of there before she lured Joe to a dark alley and drank her fill of him. “I’d love to stay and drink with y’all all night but I have a tour to lead in the morning. Have a good night Joe and congratulations on your retirement.” She smiled before excusing herself. 
As Remi was walking towards her home in the Garden District, she received a phone call from Victor. “Rem, head on a swivel we tracked them to the business district headed in your direction. Can you stay around until we get there? We’re en route but the Pelicans are playing so there’s traffic. We can’t all fly like you!”  He laughed, trying his best to get to her location quickly. Remi circled back to the bar in time to see Joe almost stagger out alone. His hotel wasn’t far but it was far enough in his state.  Remi noticed two unknown vampires following him, they smelled him just like she did. “What in the Sookie Stackhouse?” Remi mumbled, following behind the two. As he got closer to the hotel, another unknown vamp joined the two trailing behind him. Remi spotted Victor approaching from the front, he nodded to let her know that they had it under control, if she wanted to save her drunk mortal. She yanked the rear most vampire and yanked him into the darkness. Victor heard a yelp and a loud crunch as he brushed past her human. He smelled amazing, like nothing he’d ever smelled in his 100 years of life. Remi’s fangs protruded from her mouth as she placed the dead vamp’s fangs in Victor's hand. She ran her tongue across her razor sharp fangs, coaxing them back into submission as she went to check on this man she was enamored with.
“Joe baby wait up!” Remi playfully yelled causing Joe to stop walking. “Huh?” He slurred propping himself against the wall. She brushed past the vampires, tucking herself under his arm. God he smelled delicious, Remi thought. “I stopped to ask for directions and when I looked up you were gone. Come on, let’s get you home love.” Her voice was calming to him. 
“Now we’ll just have to eat you both!” One spoke, flashing his fangs before they were all pulled into the darkness. A few screams and wet splats before Victor re-appeared with a tip of an imaginary hat, his golden eyes shining in the darkness. Remi nodded and helped Joe into the hotel she owned. “She propped him against the elevator wall to hunt for his room key. “Head of the Table.” He grumbled. Remi could’ve easily thrown him over her shoulder like a sleeping baby and carried him to his room but if some unsuspecting patron were to see this average sized woman with a 265 pound man on her shoulder, they’d have questions. She struggled with him past doorways before moving him quite easily across door less stretches. She swiped his keycard and opened the door. “Stay with me.” He whispered. “Get some sleep Joe.” Remi whispered back, as much as she wanted to give him a drop of blood to cure his hangover, that would mean that they would be forever connected and she’d always have influence over him. The magic in her blood did wildly unpredictable things to a human body. After Remi tucked him safely into bed, she lingered for a few hours to make sure all of the rogue vamps hadn’t followed his sweet scent, not that they could get into the hotel anyway.
While he slept, as clear as day, he saw himself a Japanese warrior fighting off Mongols in Tsushima in 1266. Remi could see it clearly too. “Hmm…explains the ponytail.” Remi mumbled as she paced quietly in front of the window. The man had the most gorgeous hair but most of the time it was pulled into a neat topknot. Remi wasn’t alive in 1266 but she knew how this story ended. His breathing changed, Mongol warriors conquered Tsushima in less than a week. She had only met him once but she couldn’t watch him die in a past life. “Shh. Shh. Rest. Come see me in the morning.” Remi whispered, kissing his forehead before leaving. Her scent lingered in the air long after she’d left. Feeling her skin against his for those milliseconds, helped him sleep peacefully. Remi’s ‘Come see me in the morning’ burrowed deep into his thoughts, Joe didn’t know why he was up early, but he was showered and headed to the lobby. 
Remi smelled him as soon as he stepped off the elevator. His first stop was the Starbucks in the lobby. “Good morning Remi. Is it too late to join your tour?” Joe spoke as he approached Remi with her clipboard, a small crowd gathering around her. “I’m pretty sure I can fit you in.” Remi spoke, he muffled a laugh. “Really? What are you? 15? Just for that… not helping you with your massive hangover.” She laughed. He still wasn’t sure why he was spending his first day of retirement on a 8 hour long tour of New Orleans, but he was suddenly a fool for this woman Remi. One stop included a stop at the French Market after lunch. “Everyone meet back here by 3pm.” Remi spoke as her tourists dispersed into the market, Joe turned to her. “I’m really in need of this hangover cure.” Joe spoke, rubbing his temples. The driver, one of Remi’s familiars, assumed he meant her blood. “You’re gonna be a baby about it aren’t you? You’re a big brave warrior. And you’re going to let a little hangover take you out? Maybe you were right to retire, old man.” Remi laughed as she led him into the market. “Whatcha need Ms. Remi?” The young woman behind the counter asked. “Hangover cure for my handsome friend here. He tried to outdrink me in my bar!” The two women laughed. The young woman mixed some herbs and poured hot water over them. “Drink this up, you’ll be right as rain.” The young woman put a sugar cube in it before pouring it into a cup. 
“Are you drinking him? I wouldn’t blame you if you did, he’s cute.” The woman asked telepathically. “I’m trying not to. He reeks of past lives, I’m trying to figure him out.” Remi spoke back non-verbally. “Thanks for the potion Lola. I’ll call you.” Remi smiled, paying the woman. “Tell my handsome Victor I said hello. Y’all have a nice tour.” She smiled, going back to what she had been doing. As they walked away, she spoke to Remi directly, “I don’t put any love magic into it, don’t have to.” Remi turned back to the young woman who was giggling hysterically. “I usually don’t participate in this part of the tour aside from telling y’all the history of the market.” Remi said as Joe patted a spot next to him on a bench. “Why not? You seem to be very popular.” He smiled but it turned into a frown as he sipped this hot tea. “I’ve lived here my whole life. Been guiding tours for years.” Remi spoke. She had lived in the city since the 1700s when she became one of the first children to be born on a plantation. 
“You don’t want to go explore the market?” Remi questioned. “I’d much rather explore you.” He spoke, not meaning for it to sound as sexual as it was. “I mean, you’re very mysterious and I’d like to know why. R u the big, bad wolf Remi?” He joked. “Oh, I’m so much worse.” She laughed. “Lemme guess. Voodoo Queen?” He laughed, gesturing to his hangover concoction. “Let’s talk about you. What are you?” Remi poked, diverting the conversation back to him. “Me? I’m Samoan.” He laughed, he was starting to feel better. “It’s a lot more than that. You’re giving off something but I’m not quite sure what it is.” Remi spoke, feeling her phone go off in her pocket, it was Victor. “Excuse me, I have to take this.” Remi stepped away to answer. “You were out late. Did you feed on or fuck the spicy human?” He laughed. “I made sure he was safe and then I came home Vic! He’s…he’s different. I kinda coaxed him to take the tour, trying to pick his brain and see what he knows. We’re at the market so I had your girl Lola to make him something for a hangover. She says hi by the way. I need to roam the archives. I saw one of his past lives and shit was weird!” Remi laughed. “Why not just poke around in his brain like a normal vampire?” Victor laughed. Remi’s fascination with this man was already getting on his nerves. “Cuz I’m not normal. Vic…I’m out in the New Orleans sun while you’re stuck inside. Thanks for the save last night. I’ll see you soon love.” She spoke to her first turned. “Come home to us safely mama. We have to rely on the flesh bags to keep you safe until sundown and Ion like that!” He sighed before hanging up. He really wished that Marie had written down the daylight spell before she passed.
“Ok. I’ve narrowed it down to vampire or fairy.” Joe spoke as Remi re-joined him on the bench. “Listen to yourself. A vampire? Out in the daylight?” She laughed, sticking her bronzed arm out into the sun. “Damn, you’re right. Ok, fairy or mermaid?” He laughed, he didn’t know what she was but she was unlike any woman he’d ever met. “I’d love to be a water spirit! Having complete reign over the water. Saving handsome land creatures or luring them to their deaths.” She laughed. Remi knew that wasn’t how the mermaids operated, she had been saved by one many years ago before she was turned, the day she tried to escape to the north. This man hung on her every word. This was the most peace Roman had in years. No voices in his head and no images flashing behind his eyes, her ability to streamline his thoughts to only her made her magical to him. “Remi, would it be weird if I said that I dreamt of us walking together last night?” Joe smiled, finishing his tea. “Wasn’t a dream. You were drunk and I helped you to the hotel. The only magic I wield is Black Girl Magic.” Remi laughed as the group began to make their way back to the bus. “Will you and your Black Girl Magic have dinner with me tonight?”
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liloinkoink · 2 months
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*runs into inbox clothes burning and disheveled* LAMPLIGHT QUESTIONS??? YOU WANT LAMPLIGHT QUESTIONS??? (i think you made that post like four days ago so i'm late but aaaaaaaa)
what do you think is like, The Turning Point in Martyn and Ren's companionship? Or if there's more than one already written, what's your favorite?
Is there a scene that you've really been excited to write for lamplight/one that you've written but haven't shown The Public yet?
In his original party, were there like, designated roles for everyone to play? Like healer/brawler/short-range/scholar etc? If so, what role do you think Martyn specialized in? And everyone else? Is there anything you would say lamplight Martyn is good at--- like a skill or something? Also, how long had the group been together before that incident at Dogwarts?
From what I can remember, Ren and Scar are the only Gods we've seen so far--- do you have an idea of any other familiar faces that are also Gods?
Do you have any other world-building details you wanna talk about? Any Martyn or Ren thoughts that you've been wanting to talk about?
Sorry if this is too many questions, you don't have to answer all of them! Give as vague answers as you please--- honestly, anything you say about the lamplight world i Will Chew Up Like Dog Toy, so put whatever you want!
Regardless, thank you for your writing and all your efforts! I hope you have a nice day ^_^
okay this is a massive ask with so many questions in it, so im gonna repeat/bold each question and deal w em one by one
i will put this under a cut bc it is So Long. below this cut is SO MUCH lamplight worldbuilding, like, So Much, so i hope you enjoy that
what do you think is like, The Turning Point in Martyn and Ren's companionship? Or if there's more than one already written, what's your favorite?
turning point... i guess it depends how you define a turning point? any point of development in their relationship? there's been a few--heliography, with Martyn deciding to swear a real oath to Ren (if still one he can back out of); sleeping hound, w Martyn realizing Ren wouldnt ever burn him; worship the ashes, love wins. there's another big one for Martyn planned that i havent written yet, and one, maybe two or three for Ren.
my favorite, tho, hmm... i think sleeping hound.
Is there a scene that you've really been excited to write for lamplight/one that you've written but haven't shown The Public yet?
i planned the scene for how Ren gets his body back literally day one of the damn fic and i still havent written it a year later i want to SO BAD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
literally this one fuckign scene is part of the reason i STARTED WRITING THE DAMN FIC. crying
for the latter half, i posted this!
In his original party, were there like, designated roles for everyone to play? Like healer/brawler/short-range/scholar etc? If so, what role do you think Martyn specialized in? And everyone else?
i get so many questions abt martyns og party you think after a year i would have answers to them but my answer is unfortunately always that i am a treebark writer making a treebark au and it isnt relevant to ren and martyn doing ren and martyn things so i didnt really bother
that said! i dont think they necessarily had roles? they all strike me as pretty mid-level adventurers. theyre not chosen ones on holy quests. none of them are going to have songs sung about them for decades to come. they can hold their own, but they arent saving the world. theyre like,,, fantasy backpacking. doing some minor jobs sometimes. all of em are skilled enough w their weapons/magic but none of em are like, The Fighter or The Mage.
all of them are swordsmen tho bc i think swords are cool. i think Jimmy is better at it than you think he is, but not as good as he says. he will occasionally surprise you by doing something really cool and then when he turns around to brag about it he eats shit. jimmys magic really only affects the area immediately around himself
i asked local to weigh in on bigb bc thats who im least confident on and he suggested bigb using a fighting style that heavily relies on a shield? like sword in one hand shield in the other. i think thats very sick. also, bigbs magic only affects his own body
i can see Grian having some kinda little explosives he uses to fight, tho he clearly doesnt have them anymore (and doesnt need em--bro has talons these days). he used to be immune to magic, but bc of the watchers, he now has a magical core and can be cast on, which is new to him
their group didnt have a leader, either, and all decisions were just made as a group. if asked, both Martyn and Jimmy would say they were the leader (tho neither would boast this anymore, due to believing that would imply having lead Grian to his death). Grian used to handle their money (and hes annoyed about having lost it)
Is there anything you would say lamplight Martyn is good at--- like a skill or something?
he's a musician! it's come up a few times, but he's skilled in a few instruments and has a nice singing voice. hes played a lute on page, i believe, but i think he could also use a harmonica. dont worry abt whether or not those have been invented yet i dont care i just think he deserves one. probs knows a fair amount of songs thatre good in taverns and some dances that accompany them. if he ever got tired of adventuring, he could probs make a fair amount playing at bars (he'd probs do it to fundraise for himself if he didnt have to worry abt ren's lantern)
he's also a pretty decent cook. at least, Ren really likes his cooking, when he has a body again, tho Ren hasnt eaten anything in 20 years
he's generally pretty strong/fit w good stamina to walk all day long. when Ren has a body again, Martyn will be strong enough to lift him, even tho Ren is taller than him. Ren finds this incredibly impressive. Ren finds everything Martyn does incredibly impressive
of course, there's also being a deadzone, making him completely immune to magic (within reason--if someone casts fireball at him hes still going to burn). charms and curses dont work on him at all, which is very helpful as an adventurer
Also, how long had the group been together before that incident at Dogwarts?
jimmy, grian, and martyn were childhood friends, all lived in the same town/neighborhood (Evo) and grew up together. bigb moved to their hometown/neighborhood when Dogwarts fell, he was about 10? theyve been friends ever since. so theyve known each other about 20 years minimum
(note on ages: i dont know how old any of these people actually are so in lamplight theyre all like early 30s. pretty sure grian and jimmy are like late 20s? and bigb and martyn are somewhere in their 30s? so i set em all as early 30s)
barely related, it does make me laugh Dogwarts has Watchers and Evo doesnt
From what I can remember, Ren and Scar are the only Gods we've seen so far--- do you have an idea of any other familiar faces that are also Gods?
the answer to this is uh. kind of long and a little bit hysterical. so ill first direct you to this paragraph from moonlight ch2
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i did actually have uh... a few things in mind for this? but not uh. not reasonable ones
so. quite a few of them. ill be honest. to fill the paragraph and make it long and expansive i recounted the pantheon from a zolu fic abt the entire strawhat pirate crew as gods which i wrote w my friend Sam when i was like 16. i do not think the strawhat pantheon is canon to lamplight but recalling the domains i used for the strawhats was how i made a lot of the list, so, uh, take that as you will
for other characters... the god of nothing is Scar. the god of death is Kristin. the god of blood is... not Technoblade, actually? tho ive thought abt him in Lamplight. i like to think he may actually also be a paladin, he travels around w Phil. gods of places references Ren but also is a shoutout specifically to my friend Zeph who loves place gods, so i just wanted the world to have lots of them
the god of survival is actually Martyn! in leaflight, the roleswap, Martyn has long since abandoned his post as a god, but he was born the god of survival
.....oh and uh. well. the god of decay is... me! my mcrp character on another server is the god of decay. the secret truth about this specific paragraph is i wrote the entire thing so i could make a cameo in lamplight
Do you have any other world-building details you wanna talk about?
magic system... have i told you guys about magical cores? i had some of this already in mind but typing it out i made up a lot more. it is also approaching 1am so if this doesnt make any sense that's why
every person in lamplight has a magical core. it's sort of like a,,, spiritual organ? a little core of magic in them which takes magic from the air and makes it usable for an individual. cores vary in size/reserve, which is how much magic a person can do at max / how much magic their core can store. they also vary in type/strength of magic, which i guess is what a person's core processes ambient magic as
people can usually only use one kind of magic, which corresponds to what their core is. i think the type of magic is mostly determined by what/who it works on. it might work on just you and the space around you, it might work on just objects, it might work on animals, it might work on other people. magic which works on just yourself is most common and weakest, and the majority of people have that
deadzones dont have a magical core At All. theres nothing in there. straight up missing an organ. most deadzones are born this way, but i can see it be possible to become one if you Really, REALLY exhaust your core, tho that's probs rare
casting a spell depends entirely on belief. if you believe it should work, and are confident in your spell, it should do what you want, esp if it's in your power. you can... probs push your limits a bit if youre super confident, and doing this enough with enough confidence is basically the closest thing to training one's magic a person can get?
related, i can see bc of this kids having magic thats just a little stronger than adults bc of this, which is cute. kids probs also have smaller cores w smaller reserves, tho im not sure how much a core grows as a person ages
inanimate objects dont have magical cores or innate magic. i said earlier i think the lamplight world has a lot of ambient magic just floating about (which is how cores refill back to baseline once you use magic), but it doesnt stick to things unless you make it. to cast on an object, you have to use magic from your own core to adhere it to the thing youre casting on (which is why spells casted on objects dont USUALLY last that long--as said in moonlight, most only last a short while, and ren's enchants only lasted for months is just bc he was insanely powerful). you basically give items a little piece of your core with an instruction of how to use it
(jimmy's magic i think affects himself and ambient magic around him, while bigb draws entirely on his own core and can only affect himself)
i dont know if animals have magical cores ive never thought about it until this exact second. probably, but not ones most creatures know how to use? magic is belief based, they might use magic a little bit on accident? i dont know. some monsters absolutely have magical cores they know how to use
this is probs how zombies work. i think it's either a curse cast by one very powerful god/magic user a long time ago, or that people need to be properly buried or else weird things happen to their lingering magical core. or smth. i havent entirely decided
to cast on a person, you need to get your magic to stick to, cover up, or drown out Their magical core, depending on the spell. spells cast on other people dont last very long bc magical cores dont tend to like things intruding on them. this is why deadzones cant be cast on--no core, nothing for other magic to stick to
it's a little bit like a sliding scale? "weakest" magic is yourself, it's easiest to cast on yourself bc your will is your own and should generally line up w your magic, so long as you believe in what you're doing. then ambient magic, bc it's just chillin, you just need a little extra strength to grab it. then objects, tho you have to share a little will to cast on objects. then animals, they usually have smaller magical cores than ppl, friendly animals are a bit easier to bend to your will, tho some animals are harder to cast on then others, esp hostile animals or monsters. then other people. people have their own will and their own cores that are most difficult to bend/influence. so magic that works on other ppl is the "strongest"
being able to cast on a later step on the scale, like animals or ppl, doesnt mean you can do all the steps before it, tho. Scar i think can ONLY cast on living things, his magic sorta specializes in sticking to other ppls' cores. i would imagine all magic users can cast on themselves at least a little tho
to cast on a deadzone, you have to first give them a magical core, which is incredibly difficult, unstable, and dangerous. it requires a lot of power and a lot of people, which is why it did such weird things to Grian
divine magical cores are on another level entirely compared to mortals, and tho ren's was impressive as a human, it got infinitely more powerful when he became a god. he's basically a well of magic all on his own, w no limit on the size/reserve of his core
ren is overflowing w magic, but it works only on inanimate objects (things that dont have wills of their own to fight his) and himself (obviously he doesnt have to fight his own will). if Martyn werent a deadzone, he could probablt have cast on late-series Martyn, as martyn's will as ren's paladin would probs line up w ren's own
none of these rules are super hard and set in stone. lamplight magic is vibe based first and foremost
uhhh. i dont know if this all made sense? if it doesnt feel free to ask follow up questions
oh, and before anyone asks:
jimmy has a slightly more powerful core than bigb bc he can cast on ambient magic and bigb cant. bigb's core is probs bigger than jimmy's tho, so he can use more magic / use magic for longer than jimmy can
Any Martyn or Ren thoughts that you've been wanting to talk about?
heres a fun fact: gods are supposed to give their paladins blessings. Ren is no exception to this, but bc Martyn has no magical core, he cant receive them. if he did, ren's blessings would be all about protection. it'd basically be like casting armor enchants like protection and unbreaking directly on martyn's body? he'd less likely to be directly injured and sturdier in general. he would also be completely resistant to any fire, not just ren.
(the thing i said earlier is sort of why blessings work for Ren despite the fact hes technically mortal, but for other gods blessings are automatic so long as the paladin's oath stands)
Ren is aware of the fact he should be able to bless Martyn and cant and is sort of upset about it, but he blessed his armor, so he thinks thatll have to be enough
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