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#so if u wanna see my art all in one place it’ll be there
sixosix · 5 months
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THAWED | LYNEY X FEM!READER SERIES
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THAWED (MASTERLIST) — the lyney childhood-enemies-to-frenemies-to-lovers-kinda series that no one asked for, ft. fluff, a whole lot of bickering, flirting, and everything in between
STATUS. mostly updates on sundays
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OTHER INFO.
DISCLAIMER. will contain spoilers. this series will be as dark as genshin lore can be, and this won’t strictly follow genshin’s actual lore—i’ll be making up a lot of stuff for the sake of the fic so there will be inaccuracies, NOT CANON COMPLIANT!! there’s no previous director, the timeline of events will be vastly different. each chapter will have their own warnings as well, so keep an eye out for that!
NOTES. hello, everyone !!!!!!! welcome to my lyney series inspired by taylor’s reputation album. how it works is each chapter will be titled after each song off of the album as u can see below,,, hope u enjoy reading as excited i am for rep tv!! :D
tysm to naosaki and kruinka for helping me brainstorm w this fic (and also helping me when i was visibly all over the place because of this series) also kruin u owe me something remember that <3
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CHAPTERS.
i — are you ready for it?
The House of the Hearth was perfect. This was where you thrived—where no one else could take this feeling away. But then Lynette became a part of the ‘family’, and with it, she dragged along Lyney.
ii — i don’t wanna hurt you (i just wanna be)
You look more like a soldier than an orphan, Lyney thinks. It’s beautiful in all the wrong ways.
iii — you gotta leave before you get left
Desperately, Lyney melts them away, but your footsteps have already gone out of earshot. It’s an answer in itself: Don’t bother. Take the hint, Lyney; you already messed it up.
iv — for you i would fall from grace
“What now? What do you want me to do? Strut back into their lives and demand all their Fatui secrets as if I never left?”
Aether nestles into his seat. “Prove to me that I can trust them just as much as you do. Who knows, you might get something out of this, too.”
v — you must like me for me
Lyney laughs. It sounds like music that has haunted you for years—and with a new one playing, it’ll torment you for years more. He loosens his grip but keeps you caged in, still. You’re twirled around to face him, and something about his expression has you swallowing thickly.
“You’re even more stunning than I remember, ma chérie.”
vi — look what you made me do
You frown at him, your face upside down in his view. “That was unfair.”
“I have to be if I want to beat you.”
vii — all eyes on you, my magician
He doesn’t take his eyes off you, even once when his fingers reached out to fish out a champagne flute. Lyney still has that stupid smile on his face, the rim of his glass against his lips. You’re hit with the startling realization that you want to kiss him.
Fuck, what?
viii — you’ve ruined my life, by not being mine
“You’re so warm,” you murmur to his skin.
Goosebumps blossom all over his body. Your face brushes against the side of his neck. “Do you hate it?”
“I like it. My hands are cold. Every part of you is warm.”
more chapter previews soon...!
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FANART !!!!!!
our favorite akagi0021 has been blessing me with THAWED fanart (!!!) and i decided that i need to compile all of them for me and to make YOU see the art as well... BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL SO GOOD (with permission of course)
CH 1 | reader's new outfit reveal
CH 2 | lyney doesn’t know how he looks at reader
lyney and MC height difference before and after AAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHH IM ON MY KNEES theyre so cute
CH 4 | aether and paimon confronting reader
bonus fanart of lyney and reader after training :(( so cute
CH 5 | lyney seeing reader!!!!!! aahhh his eyes
lyney as a kid and then lyney now (grown up) THIS ONE IS INSANE. little lyney is so adorable but then look at the lyney now… 😵😵
CH 6 | LOOK AT THIS ONE!! scene of lyney saying “she’s hiding something” except akagi made him unnecessarily sexy wtf
CH 7 | drunk reader driving lyney crazy... (i went crazy)
CH 8 | "lyney's not my boyfriend" ; the ending scene with childe, aether, and reader!! they all look so good T__T
++ ADDITIONAL!!!
and look at this so so so adorable collection of doodles of chapter six by sunny @emanami !!! her artstyle is to live for its SO cute (look at the siblings!!!)
look at @lacrimae-lotos's version of mc!!!! SO CUTE look at her piercings and her eyes aahhhh
akagi's art dump from different chapters | theyre all so cutue im sobbing i love akagis mc and lyney so much T__T (LYNEY BRAIDING MC'S HAIR)
++ LOOK AT AKAGI'S VERSION OF MC! shes so lovely
design headcanons (theyre all so precious)
akagi's reader as a genshin char !!
reader's outfit for chapter seven SO PRETTY
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TAGLIST.
@thenyxsky @aeferkssr @1mewo1 @lacrimae-lotos @meigalaxy @hyacinth-daze @miwafei @popochakku @svasilios @heyhazelnut101 @kruinka @waveto-earth @superstar-ethereal @mxplesyrvp @achilleas-dream @episodecete @jellifizz @auranny @motherscrustytoenailclippings @lovelyevil @iawaaaaaaa @rionah @esmetrees @cherryig @kzhwaif @mystiquemare @unknownlolol @sanluvssu @blvdmrcnry  @kascar-chronicle @idontevenknow129 @tarathecogsci @lunavixia @beaniedoodz @wendolrea @avalordream @egoistars @rains-mae @magnificentfireball @poemzcheng @fiannee @ask-kurayami-akura @sc4rlett-letter @xxxion @wangshuu @deathkat657 @powchakko @beasalmeh, and many more!
just ask through my inbox!!! and make sure that people can tag you pls!!
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© SIXOSIX 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or reproduce any part of this work.
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kirby-the-gorb · 1 month
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reply roundup!
I've done basically nothing but lay down and be exhausted since kirb2k over 2 months ago, but I did at least get the kirbox orders fulfilled. I have an immunology appointment in another 2 1/2 months and maybe they might do something to help me feel better. (it's a bad time. I know it seems to be most of what I talk about, but it is kind of all-consuming. even this roundup wore me out.)
also there are sometimes comments that make me smile but I don't have anything to add to them so I just read them and smile and don't put them in the roundups, but I promise I do see them all, like the many yeehaws (and yes haws and heehaws) for [cowboy kirb] <3
on [the last roundup] @hive-heart said: Hope things get better, kirby guy 💕 thanks for the reply :) also yeah! Sitting by the window during a storm is quite nice
they haven't lol, but thank you!
on [kirb2k] @ceylonsilvergirl said: HAPPY Y2K EVERYBODY!! I am joke, but it did give me serious “turn of the century’’ vibes. oof… that sentence hit me like I drank out of the wrong grail
that was intentional, that's also why we started with the macarena in the 1990s :>
on [errands] @crypptiid said: ME! MY ROLLATOR IS BLUE AND EVERUTHING @sunflowerinthemidst said: oh look it's me only my walker is hot pink 1😅😂
nice! I should really repaint mine if I'm ever feeling well enough lol
on [the last roundup] @gudetamalover said: :O!!! I’ve been noticed! My surgery went very well btw, thank you! [details removed for privacy.] I love your art so much btw, it brings me and my mom so much joy! I love this little pink dude, he’s got a permanent place in my heart ❤️ 
man that sounds rough, good thing it got ironed out quickly! and I'm glad it brings you both joy <3
on [errands] @pilcherthegreat said: oooo might add this one to my Kirby brigade tattoo 👀
oh hell yeah that sounds so cool! (for anyone else wondering, tattoos on your own body count as personal use and are totally fine by me!)
on [screaming] @persimmonlions said: i always forget how much i do not like the chaotic cacophony of a crowd until i am in a mall, like ‘oh yeah i DO get overstimulated no wonder i constantly skipped classes when i was 10’. anyway i got back home at 3 and proceeded to sleep for 6 hours
ugh omg yeah especially when you actually reblogged this 2 months ago and there were still holiday crowds and all the extra decor and stuff, the mall can be So Much.
on [macarena] @unconventionalvoidaxolotls said: holy heck, go kirby go! oh yeah this is a great first post. beautiful
ehehehe it's an honor :3
on [plushies] @the-void-is-a-disappointment said: finally getting around to reblogging this but thank you bunches for the commission!he looks so comfy and cozy i love it, he deserves this
he does! he does deserve to be so cozy and cute! (and thank you again for the support!)
on [bloodstream] @lord-chiopet said: Kirby in my blood could fix me
well he certainly wouldn't make me worse lol (fun fact: you kind of already have a bunch of kirb-likes in your blood! macrophages are a type of white blood cell that engulf and isolate or destroy foreign matter like splinters, viruses, and even tattoo ink! they're basically eating anything that tries to get into your blood that's not supposed to be there -u- )
on [fire] @jupiterlandings said: kirby I am hurrying to you with blankets and a tent and a warm meal, we may be in the wilderness kirby but we can still look at the stars even when the night is cold. and even if we can’t see them they’re still there and they’ll send the sun to look after us tomorrow. it’ll be ok kirby we’ll be ok
waah this is just such a sweet thought ;n; thank you for sharing it.
on [frown] @shapeshifterwithafez said: get well soon OP :c <3 this kirby nevertheless brings joy to my dashboard thank you!
I will not but thank you! I'm glad he brings joy regardless :)
on [worm] @thecosmickitty said: Hey fam just wanna say i love your art. Thank you for sharing (:
aww thanks!
on [mcas] @untoldsoup said: Im sorry about the health issues 😞 hope you get the treatment your looking for
I appreciate it <3 it's still gonna take a while one way or the other, but hopefully eventually someone will do something.
on [float (up)] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a ufo to abduct him, then on [rainbow] they [added] an alien kirb to greet him, and on [freckles] they [added] the view out the ufo window :) this little saga was very cute and did cheer me up a bit, thank you <3
on [float (down)] @angst-and-fajitas said: Ah he's floatin away
the kirb's not made for helium balloons! (a reference to [this vine], and good news this upload is actually from the person that made it!)
on [sacrifice] @joekingv1 said: *sits next to baby and waits to see what happens*
I really wanna draw a short comic for this but it seems like I'm not gonna feel up to it anytime soon -n-
on [stars] @gidkog said: *GASP* at world’s ass…
oh no you're right :x that was not on purpose lol
on [earring] @roboticutie said: yay!!!! he's here again today :D thank you!!!
your enthusiasm is sweet! he will be here every day! :)
on [sora] @ducksandlemonsandbigoldfish said: Kiev Kernel Kirby I hate autocorrect
this made me laugh lol
on [sora] @canvascoloredin said: congratulations! I've played all the kingdom hearts games (except Melody of Memories, Sorry Kairi), and started when I was around six but haven't had the time to buy a console I can play 3 on. Have fun for me!
I haven't played melody of memories yet either, the rhythm for all the rhythm minigames was always so janky that I'm kind of worried about how it might play tbh. but I am having lots of fun, I'm sure it's enough for both of us!
on [tattoos] @theraphos said: high five kirby i just recently resolved to finally get myself a tattoo this year also
nice! I hope it goes well :)
@turpial-thoughts asked: hi
hello!
on [worry] @graycoin said: I hope the wait is worth it.
yeah me too :s (thanks. and for all your other sympathetic comments whenever I complain about it as well <3 )
on [float (side)] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what they think about when they go floating*
probably very little I imagine. even less than usual lol
on [bread] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what they got while secretly hiding some extra treats for baby, Bear and Cake*
this one is just very cute, I had to read it aloud to my partner when I saw it.
on [sea] @graycoin said: This gets across the vibe very well. I get why you'd feel that way, I think. It's understandable. I'm glad people are trying. You deserve it.
thanks. I've always had a hard time conveying like, internal stuff for some reason, so it's nice when it seems to make sense to someone else.
on [sea] @ceylonsilvergirl said: Kirbo is in the storm, tossed by the waves, threatened by lightning at any moment in the dark. not even the stars to shine through the clouds. but he’s still floating, and that has to count for something
surely it must count for something TnT <3
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som1ig · 8 months
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hello darling how are u doing.. hope u are okay ?
can i join your match game with seventeen if u don't mind and i wanna thank u in advance 😘.
so my mbti is istp ... in fact iam an introvert who is kinda of closed up and it's hard for me to open up .. i've been told that i appear as intimidating before knowing me well so yeah iam . and i tend to be a quiet person who keep to herself .. only close people know me to a certain extant ...
i love art in general and i fancy the aesthetic and details of anythng i see and i like to read and educate myself about different topics and subjects
i'd like to add that iam a fashion designer who creat clothes and i love the beauty of colours and shapes while drawing and sewing
i adore dark stuff and gothic vibes being personal prefrences including liking night times .. dark feminin looks ... liking dark cloudy winter nights .. rain and snow... horror works( iam team evil all the time no matter what 😅) ... and one thing that i'd like to add is that iam a big fan of myths and legends and mythological stories ... i have this thinking of choosing what's rare and forgotten instead of going for what's usual and common ..
ps: i know that you said that looks are not important for you while doing this matches but i just wanna say that iam tall (1.73) and on the thicker side and sometimes i become self conscious without showing it to anyone ..
you can ignore this last part if u want ...
i guess that's all for me good luck sweetheart and may your days are as great as your writing style
❤️❤️
Aya
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first of all thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me! you’re so sweet thank you for joining!
may’s matches rules are here
i match you with…
xu minghao
since minghao can sometimes appears as intimidating too, i think he’d quickly go past your more “cold/reserved” nature and will always talk to you and making you feel comfortable with this so you’d never feel forced. since he is such a soft talker, it’ll feel like everything you say comes naturally, as if his only presence and calming aura turn you into a chatterbox.
you loving arts and paying great attention to details would be another reason why minghao fell for you. i can totally picture the two of you at art museum dates, sharing your opinion and pointing out details that makes him completely change the way he was looking at the painting in the first place.
since you’re a fashion designer, i feel like minghao would hold in high esteem your opinion on his outfits and, since you’re also creating clothes (which by the way, is amazing) he’ll ask you to make some unique pieces and accessories and i know he’ll secretly buy his own sewing machine so he could share another hobby with you and be able to make you clothes.
regarding your interest, i feel like, since they are so particular that, every time he goes to the library, he’ll try to find you a new book related to those topics and will ask you to recommend him some that you think would suit his personal tastes.
finally, since minghao has such a relaxing and sweet aura, i know he’d be the greatest at worshiping you and whispering soft praises because, no matter how you view yourself, he’ll always make sure you know he loves you fully, from your soul to you body, because to him your the most beautiful person in the word and, if there are days when you don’t love you, he’ll love you enough for the both of you.
thank you again for joining and i hope you liked it!
sending you all my love,
may :)
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hoonvrs · 7 months
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Hey saint watchu doin 😊
Honestly had a really bad day today and Ur the only person I can talk to rn. Idk what's up with ppl forcing me to do things I don't like and telling me to stop doing things I love doing. As if whatever I wanna do is always wrong. My school has restricted me to do any crochet in the campus EVEN THOUGH I don't interrupt nor am I distracted during the classes. My mum has told me to solely focus on studies and do crochet in the holidays. BUT now they want me to do extracurriculars. Maybe I'm in the wrong but I have no interest in the acts of singing, dancing, art and other cultural activities. But I have to do them because I do nothing at home. Like I don't take extra classes for playing instruments, or go to other places for tutoring, nor do I learn anything involving self defense, dancing, singing, reciting. I don't even like sports. I just don't like these activities. But I have to do them and I'm being forced because they're 'good for me' and 'good for my future'. Which I get it's completely fine. But is crochet not? Infact I wanted to do a specific activity and my friend wanted to do photography. But since I chose that activity, she has to too because she won't do photography alone. And then she said it's my fault but when I said that I could switch for the sake of her not blaming it on me for the rest of the semester, she said no. I can't deny anything anymore. When they ask me if I want to do something and I say no, they ask why and I just say that I don't want to. But apparently that isn't a valid reason to say no. I would say all of this to my mum but she's friends with my friends mums and would try taking to them about it but I don't want the others knowing. Ill be honest saint you were the first person I could think of because no one else would just listen to me and not go tell someone else or start asking questions. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. I just wish things were like before when in was like five and I wasn't allowed to meet my friends outside of school. When our parents weren't friends to the point they would steal away the only day my mum had a holiday I could spend time with her on. I wish I had someone to talk to. Now all I can do is look in the mirror, cry, and talk to myself. Saint you don't understand how much talking to u like this is helping me. We don't even know eachother personally but at least I can talk to you freely without any judgement. I just wanna live my life. I've never had a moment in life where I felt free since I was 5. I miss freedom.
-🌜(rant again 😭)
i can’t understand personally but i can definitely feel for you cause i have a friend in the exact same situation and honestly fuck them for not letting you do what you want in your own life, esp ur school cause in what world do they completely nan you from crocheting in school likes it’s really none of their business. honestly the advice i can give ( if you even want any ) is to not do it. nothing teaches a parent a lesson unless their kids rebel cause it honestly so much easier to ask for forgiveness then for permission, and they’ll see in the future all of that was so useless.
with your friend pls try and stand up for yourself, coming from someone who’s literally ignored her own cousins cause they were being bitchy it’ll be better to avoid and ignore her then to have to put up with her attitude. tell her no one told her to ditch photography and that she should learn some independence or she won’t get too far in life, and she might get offended but that’s her problem not yours.
i’m happy that you feel safe enough with me to share this but i’m so upset that you have to go through this, praying it’ll be js an emotional memory when you’re a little bit older with more independence cause parents will learn to give their kids freedom once they’ve hit an age where they can’t control them ( usually uni )
don’t let anyone try to talk you out of what you love or talk you down into staying in a toxic friendship just because you’re ‘parents are close’ or ‘you’ve known each other for so long’ they’re js manipulating you into wasting your energy and effort on stupid friendships and ik it’s easier said then done but you’ll feel so much better without that burden
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milktea-grn · 2 years
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I'm a follower since you were a 14 year old who likes cereal lolll, and I'm so happy for ur growth and seeing people finally notice the TALENT!!💛 I've been running an art account since 2019 and I feel like we have the same skill level, but I'm not even at a thousand followers and it gets lower every day. Is there anything u did to help with the crappy algorithm? Was it bc u joined a popular fandom, or are you like idk how tf this happened? Do u have insecurity about like & follower count and how do u deal with it?
OHH MY GODDD NO WAY THATS AMAZING the 14 year old who loves cereal oh my god i didn’t think there was barely anyone who was still around from my supermega days let alone the sadkid.tm days 😭 you’ve seen me go through so many embarrassing moments…
this got SO long so i’ll put it all under this cut!
first of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! i really appreciate that. and second, i don’t really have much advice, im terrible at giving advice 😭 i know how you feel though bc because before i started growing a little more, i was in that exact position of either stagnating, staying the same, or just dropping followers for no reason. However i was okay with that. follow count really doesn’t effect me. it used to when i was just starting out bc obviously you want people to see your art and all that, but i realized that it doesn’t matter as long as i’m doing what i want to be doing.
it’s so freeing to stop focusing so much on that stuff because it will begin to weigh on you and you start placing your worth, confidence, motivation, etc. all on your following. it gets much more fun when you start doing whatever you wanna do, without worrying about how many people are following or unfollowing you. the people who unfollow, unfollow! and the people who stay around, stay around! people will come and go all the time. i know i sound really kinda. pretentious right now, but i’m just trying to convey how calming it is to let go of that 😭 because if i still worried about that Now then i think the pressure would get to much for me and i’d either peace out by now or my art would go way down in quality because i’d be so anxious about letting any of my followers down, you know? obviously i have them in mind, and i love and appreciate every single one (/parasocial i really am parasocial for u all) but i don’t put my value all on them. its important that i’m passionate and happy with what i’m doing too!
but, i know that’s not how everyone feels and it can be easier said than done. I’m just saying that you should also keep that in mind. don’t let the fun get sucked out of you, don’t let art feel like a chore or a job! you get the point, all that, i won’t lecture you.
if you want more attention to your art, when i was starting out on really any platform i just used a shit ton of hashtags. on instagram i borderline Over tagged. but especially on instagram, when you tag stuff it’ll get on peoples feeds, it’ll be in the hashtags, it’s easier to get peoples attention. that helps a lot, but tbh i think most of it i have to thank to being in a big fandom that interacts with artists a ton, which i love, because not a lot of fandoms are as respectful and loving about art as this one. besides that, idk how tf this happened. especially on twitter because in my experience i felt like twitter was a lot harder of a place with art, so i don’t know how that happened but i’m definitely placing a looooottt a lot of the credit to being in a bigger fandom 😭 and i love that because i like it here Most of the time
i’m sorry i just word vomited, idk what i’m talking about but i hope this could help even a little bit ;; thank you so much again thank you for sticking around so long <333 💞💕💗💝
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firein-thesky · 1 year
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😞❤️ tysm for taking the time to do the title game thing i sent in <333 what you wrote for the first and last title would sound like a dream to read esp the megumi one.. i love your characterization of him.. i read in the tags you’re interested in knowing what the wips were so i’ll tell you here hehe
1000 paper cranes - supposed to be a piece of kakucho from tokyo revengers, part of his name translated to crane so i thought it would make sense to apply the legend of ‘if you fold 1000 paper cranes you’ll be granted one wish’.. he’s a very sweet boy that cares deeply about his friends and i think he’d definitely use the wish in a selfless way to better the life of another
passion and poetry - it was supposed to be a satosugu piece !!! i had an alternative title that was just ‘zero’ but that would be boring to send in lol.. the passion and poetry title came from the romantic ass shit they say to each other like it’s nothing sometimes i read over chapters from the manga where they’re talking to each other and i’m like.. u guys love each other it’s actually sickening. i ended up abandoning the wip because the composition i had in mind wasn’t working out LMAO but i might try again with a new concept.. i really wanna draw them together at least once
curse of the sun/blessing of the moon - a itafushi piece!! the title is a play on how itadori has a personality that shines as bright as the sun but he’s cursed (obv) and megumi being the moon (like he’s born on the shortest day of the year or something like that) and his name translates to blessings.. i have up on this one because again the composition was a struggle and i also ended up seeing somebody else draw a piece with a similar concept i had in mind so i was like damn.. it’ll look like i’m stealing now 🫢 but i do want to make a itafushi piece and use this title.. too good of a title to toss away
a good boy with no place - a piece of one of my OCs actually 🥳 i definitely plan on returning to this wip since i haven’t yet drawn this oc properly.. my oc universe thing is focused on the question “in what ways are people lonely and how does it affect them differently” and they’re all kinda tied together by a ghost character that’s lowkey a terrible person to turn to for advice but he’s just there to be a wicked and malicious thing lol. the oc in this piece is named dario and he’s the oldest, most gullible of my characters because he’s too nice of a person.. he’s poor and sells drugs and his romantic relationships never really go anywhere (but he’s a very sweet boy.. praying for him lol)
again tysm for taking the time to make the little fanfic concepts i loved reading them and i’m honoured that you completed it even though you were finished doing them ❤️ i hope you enjoyed reading what the illustration wips were 🎀🎀🎀😚😚
OMG I WAS SO EXCITED SEEING YOU BACK IN MY INBOX EXPLAINING ALL THE WIP DRAWINGS!!!! 😭💞💞💞 it’s also so cool to me to see how we interpreted these lil phrases??
the 1000 paper cranes is such a cool idea to go off based on his name!! i’m not super familiar w tokyo revengers but he does sound like a sweet boy 🥺 and that sounds like a lovely piece!!
passion and poetry!!! omg okay we were same brained a little there!!! god i love satosugu pieces and iN YOUR STYLE???? YOUR ART????? i’d lose my mind i really would. but you’re so right….the shit they say to each other…..SOOO ROMANTIC?? like i’m every aspect of the word! that’s a great title for them!! 💞
AND I WAS ALMOST GONNA DO ITAFUSHI W THIS ONE??? crazy. it was either them or satosugu but i COMPLETELY see that. itafushi another like poetically tragic sort. and that title!! the cursed sun!! the blessed moon!! literally it always makes me insane when characters can be compared to celestial bodies like that—whether opposites or complimentary. i bet whatever piece you end up coming up for this title (you’ve GOTTA use it you’re right it’s too good) will be amazing!! i eagerly await to lay my eyes on it 💞💞
AAAND YOUR OC??? i’m soo??? intrigued?? god first of all. i love a story where loneliness is explored and to top it off you add a GHOST?? oh i love ghosts. this story sounds really cool! and your oc sounds like such a sweetie too 😭💞💞 i am ALSO praying for him lmao 🙏🙏💞💞
gosh THANK YOU for taking the time to share!! genuinely so honored and this was such a cool idea you had 💞💞 i’m glad i got to hear your side of the titles too!!
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daydream-draws · 3 years
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....what’s the Instagram fandom like I’m scared
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catboyantichrist · 3 years
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hello! i saw that you were taking requests for headcanons and oneshots! could i ask for some headcanons on either a gn or male MC bringing a brother along to get their first tattoo? as in the MC getting their first tattoo and having the brother come along because they’re secretly nervous lol….. thanks so much! <3
Aaa! Of course! I originally planned to write this as a M!MC but it ended up completely gender neutral. Also this idea is so creative so thank u for asking me to write this ^^
☆ The Brothers Coming With GN!MC to Get Their First Tattoo!  ☆
You finally did it! You gained the courage to finally get your first tattoo. You've been wanting this for awhile, it's just external forces always made it difficult for you to get one. I guess the brothers really helped with your confidence huh? Well the days leading up to the appointment your nervousness started to get the best of you. What if it hurts too much?
Not wanting to cancel the appointment, you decided to ask one of the brothers to come with you! Just for fun y'know... not because your scared or anything.
Lucifer:
-When you walk into Lucifer’s office asking if he’d come with you to get your first tattoo, he was more than happy to accompany you.
-But he also wanted to have a bit of fun.
-When you go to the shop he immediately noticed that you were nervous, and he started lightly teasing you without hesitation. 
-”Are you nervous MC?” He smirks.
-”No! Why would I be?” You were shaking.
-Oh you’re shaking. Maybe toning it down would be a better idea.
-When the artist comes out and actually begins, Lucifer just puts you on his lap. The pure shock from that would just get rid of any pain in that moment.
-While you’re getting the tattoo, Lucifer’s getting work done on his phone. There’s never a bad time to do work after all! Ignore his massive undereye bags.
-You need a distraction? MC why don’t you start on that potions homework from awhile ago?
-Once the tattoo is completed, Lucifer help you with the aftercare. Once it's healed he will begin to lightly graze his hand over it when he’s close to you.
Mammon:
-You wouldn’t even need to go to him to ask, he’s already going to your room to ask if you can hangout. So when you ask if he could come with you to get your first tattoo, he immediately agrees.
-When you go into the tattoo parlor, he’s just as excited as you are. After all, his human has been talking about this for weeks!
-When the tattoo artist comes out to ask some general questions, Mammon begins to notice your anxiousness. When they leave to set up the work area, Mammon leans over and puts his arm around you.
-Don’t worry MC! You’re the strongest human I know! Plus you have the great Mammon to protect ya!
-When the tattoo artist brings out the needle, Mammon is scared FOR you. But, keeping his word he shakily grabs onto one of your hands.
-“Only focus on me ya hear! It’ll be over before ya know it.”
-The only thing that scared Mammon more then the tattoo was the price OF it.
-He’d contemplate+ getting matching tattoo’s with his human, but needs to check if that would get in the way of his modeling career... just kidding. He doesn’t care
-”Oi MC! We’re gonna match one day. Ya got it?”
Leviathan:
-Convincing Leviathan to go outside can be sort of… difficult. Especially to a place he’s never been to before.
-When he sees how fidgety you are when you ask though, he sighs and agrees. “Fine but only because you’re my Henry”
-When you go into the parlor, he immediately goes to see if any of the tattoos are themed after any anime's. If there are, you will have to drag him away from them so that you can actually get the tattoo.
-When he turns away sad, you grin and offer to come back with him to look at the art another time.
-Depending on where you’re getting your tattoo he’d either play games on his phone with you or you’d just watch, so that there’s something to distract you from the pain. 
-If that doesn’t distract you enough you two will just start rambling about whatever anime you’ve watched last.
Satan:
-He was intrigued that you wanted him to come support you out of everyone. This seemed more like a job for Asmo. You’ll just ask Lucifer instead? Well you should’ve asked for him to come sooner!
-Before even going to the tattoo shop, Satan was doing as much research as possible to make sure you were prepared.
-He brought water and pain killers just to be safe. Yes the water was in a cat themed water bottle. I will not take criticism.
-When you go into the parlor Satan will watch the artist with intrigue and possibly even ask questions about being a tattoo artist.
-Satan will sit beside you and probably read with you or to you. If your handling the pain well enough Satan will probably just hold your hand and continue with the previous conversation he was having with the tattoo artist.
-Once the tattoo is finished Satan will research the best possible tattoo aftercare routine (and obviously talk to the artist about it as well)
-He found the whole experience fascinating, and contemplates maybe even getting a tattoo as well one day. Obviously just to spite Lucifer... no other reason. (-Cough- MC’s approval -cough-)
Asmodeus:
-“OoOo MC where are you getting the tattoo 😏”
-Okay jokes aside, of course he’d come with you! He’s supported tons of his friends and admirers when they were getting their first tattoos! These may or may not have been his name and/or face
-I’m not saying he’d do the same and try to convince you to get a tramp stamp of his name but I’m saying that’s exactly what he’d do 
-Although at the end of the day, no matter what you chose he’d love it!
-When the artist starts working Asmo immediately grabs onto your arm (or whichever arm isn’t getting tattooed) and starts talking about whatever gossip that’s going around currently.
-Every time the artist says “5 more minutes” (which is at least 10 times) Asmo puts his hands through your hair and praises you on how well your doing. Damn even the tattoo artist is blushing.
-Once the tattoo is finished he’d be so excited to take pictures of it, and he’d waste no time finding clothing pieces that would show off the tattoo even more! He'd also ask the artist for tips with aftercare and what skin products are okay to put on the tattoo.
Beelzebub: 
-You want Beel to come with you to get a tattoo? 
-“I mean if it makes you happy MC! Can we go to Madame Screams afterwards?”
-You walk into the tattoo shop and decide to look at some of the designs with Beel
-You turn for a second because you saw an amazing design. Although you nearly had a heart attack when you turned back.
-No Beel wait the food designs aren’t actual food!!
-Because of the amount of exercise this man does, and some not so... happy issues. Beel knows some very effective breathing exercises! Before and during the beginning of the tattoo he’d lead you through some breathing exercises to help you through the pain and any possible anxiety.
-He’s already holding your hand (if you allow it) and if the pain gets to be too much he gives you 100% permission for you to squeeze his hand, he’ll barely feel it anyways. Once the tattoo is finished Beel grins at the sight of it.
-”Wow MC it looks great!”. If the tattoo involves food in anyway, you may need to remind him that it’s not real as his stomach growls almost immediately. 
-”Could we go to Madame Screams now?”
Belphegor:
-“Why don’t we just take a nap instead?”
-When he realizes how much you really want this tattoo he begrudgingly agrees. Although he immediately cheers up when you offer to cuddle with him when you both get home.
-You go into the shop and he wants to get it done as fast as possible
-When the tattoo artist begins, Belphie was originally holding your hand.
-Now he’s just found anyway possible to cuddle with you... oh nope now he’s just asleep.
-On the positive side it gives you the opportunity to put your hands through his hair to help calm down. You kind of start drifting off yourself...
-Next thing you know you’ve woken up with the finished tattoo. Belphie eventually wakes up as well and lets out a long yawn.
-”Wow MC... it looks great. Do you wanna go take a nap at the planetarium?”
214 notes · View notes
spencersawkward · 3 years
Note
hi i love your writing sm, could u do something w having sex w mgg in his trailer🦋
oh yes i can most definitely do that. i just did a blurb that included something similar but i have a whole other fantasy for this one that i think would be so hot. this is just like filthy smut i might have done a lil too much lol.
summary: reader goes to visit her friend, Matthew, on set. when he catches her doing something dirty in his trailer, he offers to help.
word count: 4.2k
relationship: Fem!Reader/Matthew
content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, masturbation, dirty talk, face-sitting, degradation, Cocky Matthew, some semi-exhibitionism.
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my toes curl over the sheets and I let out a dissatisfied groan as I throw the abandoned vibrator onto the side table. ever since flying home from visiting friends in New York, I’ve been absolutely, embarrassingly... horny.
usually, my trusty toy is able to work wonders; this week has been rough, though. maybe it’s something to do with my stress-levels or maybe my body just doesn’t feel like cooperating. it doesn’t help that I have about an hour before I’m scheduled to visit my friend on the set of his show.
I haven’t seen Matthew in almost a year. between his shooting schedule and my own job getting more demanding, spending time together really hasn’t been possible. I miss his laugh and the way our conversations always flow so easily. whenever we hang out, it’s like we pick up right where we left off. and now, as I give up on trying to get one off before seeing him, I start to wonder what to expect. a tour? meeting his castmates?
to be completely honest, I don’t really want to do any of that. I’m sure they’re all very nice people and we’d have a good time, but the last week in the city was so full of group interactions that I’m really hoping to sit across from each other and just... talk.
there’s no point in speculating, though. instead, I glance over at my disappointing toy and sigh. maybe next time.
when I get there, Matthew texts me to wait for him so he can bring me to his trailer. everyone is bustling around, moving according to their own chaotic schedules. a couple golf carts occasionally roll through the space, toting actors and other personnel. it’d be overwhelming for anyone who isn’t used to it.
“Y/N!” Matthew’s voice cuts across the din of the set as he waves. he’s leaning out of the side of a golf cart that he’s driving, which makes me nervous as he pulls up to me. I raise my eyebrows in surprise as he stops the cart and hops out to wrap me in a hug.
he smells good, like expensive cologne and cool air. as he withdraws, he sets his hands on my shoulders and grins at me.
“you look great! how are you?” as usual, he’s talkative. I smile back, though, and take in his appearance. he’s always been handsome, but right now Matthew is looking especially good: the breeze has swept his curls, he’s got on a colorful button-up short-sleeve with parakeets on it, and there’s some stubble growing on his face that’s new. he looks older, more mature.
kind of sexy.
“I’m really well. cool ride you’ve got.” I nod to the golf cart and Matthew laughs.
“you wanna know a secret?” he smirks. I raise my eyebrows and he leans down a little to reach my height. “I’m not supposed to drive that.”
“how’d you get it?” I frown. knowing him, he probably managed to charm his way around the rules, but I’m sure there’s a funny story behind it as well. he’s full of weird anecdotes.
“one of my cast mates distracted the guy who runs the warehouse where they keep them.” he winks, then gestures for me to follow him. I slide into the passenger seat and before I can really process what’s happening, he’s swerving in a wide circle and speeding off.
“I’ve been meaning to call you,” he practically yells over the sound of the motor. “but I know you’ve been busy.”
“yeah, I actually just started writing for this new show.”
“you’re downtown, then?” he glances over with a smile and then we’re slowing to a stop. an enormous trailer sits among rows of other enormous trailers, presumably for his cast mates. he turns off the cart and turns his body to face me while I talk. zeroes in on me in a way that makes my stomach flip.
“for right now, yeah.” I can’t help the smile. it’s been a while since I’ve worked in Los Angeles; I was working as a writer on one of Matthew’s independent films when I got an offer in New York and decided to relocate. and even though it was amazing there, I missed California sunshine and I missed him. we were inseparable before I left.
“so, what I’m hearing is that you’re now legally bound to hang out with me.” he grins in that dazzling way of his. I laugh and nod, climbing out when he does. he opens the trailer door for me. “I have to go back to work in about twenty minutes, but afterwards I wanna take you to dinner.”
“oh, I could have come later. I’m sorry.” I turn to apologize, but he’s quick to wave it off.
“it’s fine. as long as you don’t mind spending an hour in here, it shouldn’t be too torturous.”
I peer around the space, noticing the little ways in which Matthew has made this place his own: aside from all the complimentary gift baskets and notes, the trailer is occupied by strange trinkets that he’s collected, random books and notebooks that scatter the couch and what looks like an attempt at a desk.
“wow.” I say. he sidles up next to me, sighing and realizing that it’s a bit cluttered.
“sorry about the mess. I haven’t really had time to clean up.”
“no, no, I meant ‘wow’ in a good way.” I walk over to the couch and sit down, patting the spot next to me. he smiles, pushes an acting theory book out of the way, and sinks into the cushions a safe distance from me.
“tell me about this job, then.” he immediately starts. I shrug.
“it’s nothing huge, just a teen drama. everyone I work with is brilliant, though.”
“that’s amazing. have you had a chance to work on your art?”
I think back to all the times when Matthew and I would spend free afternoons doing doodle competitions of the crew, usually on random scripts. they were judged by other cast mates, anyone who would take the time to look. I don’t think I was supposed to be on set as much as I was, but it was worth it.
“I wish. my schedule is so busy now, I barely have time to make dinner for myself.” I laugh. he leans back into the corner of the couch, resting his arm on top of the back. I pull one leg beneath me and mirror his actions.
“that’s too bad. I was looking forward to seeing some new stuff.”
“I don’t think any of my co-workers would particularly enjoy the representations I do of them.”
“sour sports.” he says. the strangeness and vehemence of the sentiment makes me snort and I glance at the notebooks around the room.
“how about you? any new masterpieces?”
we go on like this for a while, just catching up and slipping into our inside jokes and memories as if they aren’t from a different time in our lives. although I was excited to see him today, there was a lingering nervousness about it going as planned. sometimes you try to reconnect and the spark is just... gone. but Matthew is still Matthew, and I’m still me.
he ends up leaving to go shoot sooner than I can believe, time passing quickly, and tells me to feel free to read any of his books or look through his sketchbooks. he never hides anything, and it’s admirable.
once he’s gone, I settle onto the couch with a used Ray Bradbury anthology that I found beneath a bag of sour candies and start to read.
my mind wanders, however, as I try to concentrate on the page. I think about how Matthew looks now, how the stubble makes his jaw even more defined. those wide, hazel eyes that always seem to glitter with enthusiasm. I don’t know if I’m still frustrated from the unsuccessful session with my vibrator earlier, but the thoughts begin to turn over in my mind and mingle with other ones.
there were moments with him that I remember, quiet ones where we’d be about to say goodnight or moments where he’d fall asleep on my shoulder in my apartment, where I’d look at him and consider the possibility. we get on so well, and he’s arguably one of my best friends. distance hasn’t changed that. there are things I would tell him that I haven’t told my other friends.
and when he’d brush against my skin, or grab my arm to get my attention, and my imagination would run wild. heated kisses and closed doors. finding the way to my bed in the dark, his hands on my waist while he crawls on top of me. things that never happened but that I imagined as if they were real memories seared into my mind.
and now, sitting in this trailer with this book and on this couch that smells like him, those feelings return like something lost, then found: rushing, feverish, overpowering. the images come in a flux, his weight on top of mine and his teeth dragging over my tits. on this couch, that’s all I want.
there’s a blush on my cheeks as I drop the book on the floor and undo the button on my pants. it won’t take me long; I can feel how wet I’m getting and I haven’t even thought that much about it. the pent-up excitement from earlier will overtake my senses. he said I have an hour, and this might take ten minutes tops.
as my fingertips brush over my panties, I close my eyes and imagine they’re his. curious, gentle, teasing before reaching below the waistband and cupping me. I whimper, starting to trace over the wet folds of my entrance with an eager hand. it feels good, right, and the heat of my body tells me that this time, it’ll work. my head is full of thoughts of him, and I dip a finger in, clenching around the digits. the heel of my palm presses into my clit and I moan, starting to work myself.
I imagine Matthew coming in here after he’s done and kissing me like he’s wasted enough time waiting; like he can’t wait another second to be with me. my pace quickens at the memory of his hands, veined and strong and sure, pumping into me. taunting me.
“Matthew...” I whine, removing my fingers to circle my clit with a hurried pressure. every second burns across my skin, reminding me that what I’m doing is wrong. I shouldn’t be touching myself in his trailer while he works, especially not when he’s coming back soon.
but it’s hot, too, and the rhythm I create is impossible to resist. I switch between fingering and toying with my bundle of nerves while clenching my free hand in the couch cushion. my eyes are squeezed shut as I get closer to orgasm, the knot in my stomach tightening with every moment.
“o-oh my god,” I hum. “Matthew--”
the sharp intake of breath makes my entire body freeze. my eyes fly open to see the bastard himself standing there, lips parted. he can’t seem to figure out where to look: my face, which was just contorted in pleasure while I moaned his name, or my pussy, which is almost completely on display now that I’ve managed to push my jeans down to my knees.
“oh my god.” I stutter, immediately removing my hand and sitting up. my cheeks are on fire and everything around me seems surreal. this can’t be real. “y-you weren’t supposed to be back for an hour.” I say stupidly. shit ton of luck that hour did me.
“we, uh, wrapped early.” he averts his eyes, then glances cautiously at my face. “I promise I walked in here before I knew. I never meant--”
“no, it’s fine.” I pull up my jeans, still too shocked to make any sweeping movements. he doesn’t seem quite sure what to do with himself, and I speak to break the silence. “sorry, I know I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I wonder what you’d have done with an actual hour.” he says it like he’s attempting to lighten the mood, then winces as he realizes that he shouldn’t have said that. “sorry, bad joke. I’m just-- surprised.”
“Matthew, I’m so sorry--” I start. there’s literally no other direction to take this conversation. I feel like I’ve ruined our friendship within the span of a few seconds.
“were you saying my name?” he asks, eyebrows slightly raised. I would like to sink into the floor and never come up again, I think.
“well, the thing is--” I take a deep breath. “I don’t normally, um... do that in people’s trailers?” my frown makes him smile a little as he relaxes. now that I’m fully clothed, he doesn’t seem so daunted. I scoot up on the couch and glance between the open spot and him to get him to sit. standing only makes it weirder.
he obliges, watching me pull my knees into my chest before I start to explain. guilt is building in my chest now, so much more real after being caught.
“I don’t wanna make this even more awkward than it is, but I feel like I should make it clear that there’s a reason why I was doing it in here and I’m not some freak who, like, contaminates people’s space. like, I was just gonna be super quick about it and be done because-- and now I’m justifying it, which is even worse--”
“hey, Y/N, relax.” Matthew reaches out and touches my wrist, his fingers soft as they pull my attention to his. when I finally muster the courage to look him in the eyes, he’s got a small smile on his face. “I’m not mad or anything.”
“okay.” I sigh, spine going a little less rigid.
“you were moaning my name, though, right?” he smirks. my eyes widen.
“don’t get too cocky,” I try to play it off. “I haven’t been able to get off for the past few days and I only tried it to see if it would work.”
“looks like it did.” he glances between my flushed cheeks and the hand that was playing with myself, which is now sitting on my jeans. how is he being so fucking smooth right now?
“whatever.” I turn my face away, knowing that anything else would be damning.
“are you still... frustrated?” he asks. his voice is low. my face snaps up, jaw dropping. one of his hands is covering the crotch of his jeans, trying to hide something.
“why?”
“I can help you out. only if you want to, of course.” he says this in complete seriousness. my gaze passes over his features once again to make sure I’m not absolutely dreaming. every line in his face, the intensity of those pretty irises, feels too real to be fake.
“like...” I think about his hands, about what he’s offering. it’s heavier than just sex, but also maybe not. it doesn’t have to be; we’re adults. our friendship wouldn’t be shattered by one encounter.
“like I’ll eat you out right now and fuck you until you can’t take it anymore.” we’ve moved closer on the couch, our faces inches apart while he says it so quietly that I wouldn’t hear it otherwise. the way he licks his lips, stares at me, tells me that we’ve already passed the point of no return. there’s no use in holding back anymore.
“mhmm.” I nod. if I say anything more, I’ll reveal more than he wants to know. that I’ve wanted this for a while, even though I tried to forget the way he makes me feel.
“come here, then.” he beckons me forward and I impatiently crash my lips to his. he responds immediately, threading his fingers through my hair and pulling me to him. he’s greedy, but not in a way that overwhelms. like he’s trying to enjoy the moment. his nose brushes my cheek when he deepens the kiss, my hands looping around his neck. he begins to bite on my lower lip, tugging to get me to moan. I let him explore me, those features that he’s seen so many times but has never touched.
we’re hopeful in our embrace, and my mind feels like spring and how I imagine the earth feels when it’s in full bloom. excitement in my veins as we get more heated. when his fingers unbutton my jeans, he pulls away to take a moment.
“sit on my face.” he breathes out, feverish. I nod, getting up to shrug off my jeans. he watches, licking his lips when I pull down my panties and step out of them, then take off my top and bra. he leans back as if to sink down onto the couch for me, but I shake my head.
“take off your clothes first.” I tell him.
“you wanna see me naked?” he knows the truth, but wants me to say it. the smirk on his face makes me annoyingly aroused. I just start to go for the buttons on his shirt.
“yeah, I wanna see you naked.” I reply. this makes him grin and he helps me out by working on his jeans. we strip him down and then we’re both there, looking at each other.
“c’mere, beautiful.” he grabs my hip and pulls me closer until I get on the couch and position myself. he lies down flat, gesturing for me to scoot up his chest until my core is right above his face. “perfect.”
I’m about to poke a little fun at him for being so confident when he reaches up, wraps his hands around my thighs, and pulls me down against his face.
I yelp, overwhelmed by how he moans against my heat and starts to eat me out. his tongue moves expertly, lapping at the wetness that’s gathered between my legs before teasing my entrance. I release a series of noises that are downright sinful, but the red marks he’s leaving in my thighs tell me he’s loving my reaction. his nose brushes against my clit and I start to roll my hips against his face, falling apart already as he switches between sucking, licking, and sliding his tongue inside me. I grip onto his hair, mumbling like a prayer.
he takes the opportunity to quickly slap my ass before returning to my thighs, burying his face and working with a divine acuity. I can’t believe how good it feels, throwing my head back and arching my spine while I hold my tits. Matthew moves my hand and massages one while he stares up into my eyes, lust evident in every sound and motion.
“Matthew, please--” I gasp. “don’t stop.”
he groans, running his nails down my stomach while I ride his face. I’m needy for him, only uttering his name and more pleas for his tongue. and the sensation of him holding me down like he can’t get enough makes the knot from earlier return easily. I lean back a little, swirl my hips, and then it comes like a white-hot wave.
“oh my god—“ I can barely get it out, moving with abandon. “it’s so fucking good.”
he lets my body slow to a reasonable pace, drawing out the high until I’m swallowing all the air I can get and pull myself away from him. Matthew’s grinning, mouth glistening while he sits up a bit.
“such a wet little pussy.” he tells me, licking his lips. I’m pretty much resting on his chest and I start to move off of him when he quickly straightens himself, wraps his arms around my waist, and pushes me so I’m laying on my back at the other end of the couch with him leaning over me.
I brush his curls out of his face, appreciating the hunger in his face. he craves more of me, and the erection he’s pressing into my inner thigh is proof. I look up at him.
“you’re good.” I concede. he shrugs, smiles. butterflies.
“I just think about it a lot.” the response is simple, but it’s the right one. I blush and he grabs his dick, pumping it a few times before lining it up at my entrance. I search his eyes, those widened pupils, as he shoves into me.
“shit.” he moans, jaw dropping once he’s reaching the hilt. “give it to me, baby.” I can feel him deep inside, cock twitching against my walls as he settles. one of his arms is over me, supporting himself on the arm of the couch, while the other holds my waist.
I don’t speak, only bite down on my lip and whimper through the initial shocks of him. it isn’t until he pulls out that I get more vocal. he starts to roll his hips, never breaking eye contact while I arch my back and moan.
“harder.” I whisper. he tightens his grip on me and slams himself inside. my body instinctively moves up away from the pressure, but he brings me right back down.
“is this what you were thinking about?” he breathes out. “me fucking you like a slut?”
I nod urgently, but he uses an index finger to tilt my face back to his.
“tell me who you belong to, little slut.” his tone is low, laced with lust when he bites his lip and watches my reactions to his cock.
“you.” I whine quietly, grabbing his shoulders for stability while he plows into me.
“louder, sweetheart. you were plenty sure before.” he mocks, pausing after to moan in my ear like he’s absolutely losing it. he roughly tugs me further against him and the sensation makes me cry out.
“y-you-- fuck!”
“c’mon, baby.” he pants. we’re definitely rocking this trailer with the way he’s ramming my body right now. I can feel him like he’s in my ribs.  
“Matthew, oh god--”
“show me how you cum, Y/N. lemme see you fucking break.” the final word is punctuated by him bottoming-out within me, his noises their own stimulation to my senses. I’m trying to breathe but it’s so hard with all the thoughts firing in my brain. he doesn’t go easy on me.
“I’m cumming.” my hips jerk up into his, pussy fluttering like it’s trying to push him out. but the tension only makes him thrust harder, further, chasing his own release as I claw at his back and squeeze my legs around his torso.
“can I fill that tight little cunt up, baby?” he moans into my ear, our bodies like undulating waves. I nod and buck against him, which drives him mad as his thrusts get sloppier. we’re filthy together and it’s otherworldly. “good girl.”
he lets out a whimpering sound while he stills inside my body and cums. I feel him twitching, shooting his load into me. I’m writhing while I clench around him, both of us falling apart. for all his cockiness, he’s lovely when he’s orgasming-- mouth open, eyes rolling back into his head before focusing intently on my face, a sheen of sweat that glows on his cheekbones.
when he finally withdraws, leaving me naked and panting on his couch, his eyes run over my body appreciatively.
“that help?” he smirks as he straightens. I glare at him, kneeing him in the ribs, and he leans down to kiss my cheek, giving me a tender look. “I’m joking. are you okay?”
“more than okay.” I smile. he doesn’t say anything for a moment, closing and opening his mouth as if debating whether or not to say something else.
“you’re really beautiful, you know that?”
“thanks.” as if this man hasn’t already fucked me senseless, I blush, look away shyly. he grabs my clothes from the floor and hands them to me.
“do you want some water?” he’s worried about giving me space. there’s a question lingering between us that I’m afraid to ask, especially now that he hasn’t. Matthew has always been the more bold between the two of us.
“uh, sure.” if it means he takes his eyes off me long enough for me to regain my bearings, yes. I watch him pull on the rest of his clothes before standing and going over to his mini-fridge. I’ll need to clean up soon.
“so...” his voice is measured, hazel eyes slipping over my form.
“so.”
“dinner? and then breakfast?” he suggests. my eyebrows raise at the second question, one that he hasn’t mentioned until now. the implication makes me laugh.
“you think you’re getting this again?” I try to act nonchalant, as if I’m not already imagining it.
“oh, wait--” he frowns, hesitates. “that’s not what I meant.”
“what did you mean?” there’s a grin taking over my face, hopeful as I await his response. I guess we’re about to answer that question after all.
“I wanna finally take you on a date.” he smiles softly, surprisingly shy. I don’t even hesitate to answer.
“I’m in.”
507 notes · View notes
whumpmatsus · 3 years
Note
Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!
And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺
FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu
Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3
second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3
-
When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.
All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.
There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.
He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.
Then he starts to remember things.
He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.
Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.
They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.
It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.
He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.
Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.
He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.
A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”
“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”
It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”
He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”
“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”
Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”
“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”
She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”
“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”
Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?
Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”
She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.
“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”
“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”
-
Coming home is kind of weird.
Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.
Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.
Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.
The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.
He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.
His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.
It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.
Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.
He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.
There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”
“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”
“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”
Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”
His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. “Hm… a bit after midnight.”
“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.
Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”
Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”
“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…
Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”
It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.
His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.
His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.
“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.
He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”
The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.
He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”
Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.
It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”
“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”
Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”
-
After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.
He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.
Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.
Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.
Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”
“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”
“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”
“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”
Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”
“Mh. I hope so.”
“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”
Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”
A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.
After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”
“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”
“― My leg itches.”
“O-oh. So… scratch it??”
He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”
“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.
After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”
Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?”
Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”
“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.
“Heh, no problem. All good now?”
“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”
Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”
His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”
“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.
He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”
His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”
“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”
“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that… you’ll make your back sore.”
He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”
“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”
“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”
He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.
-
When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.
As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.
He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.
“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”
“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”
“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”
“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”
Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.
He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.
A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”
Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”
“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”
With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.
Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.
It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”
He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.
“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”
“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”
“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”
The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”
Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”
“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”
-
True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.
All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.
After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.
Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.
He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”
Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”
Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”
“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”
He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”
Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”
… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.
They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”
“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”
Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”
Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”
“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”
He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”
“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”
He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.
Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”
Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”
Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.
-
Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.
Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.
When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…
… Oh.
He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”
His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”
“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.
He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.
He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”
Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”
“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”
Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”
Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”
“For…?”
“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”
He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”
The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”
“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”
Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”
An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.
Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”
“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”
He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”
“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.
They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.
Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.
Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.
It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.
He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?
He thinks this is the reason.
Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…
… For once, he’s happy to be alive.
34 notes · View notes
shoichee · 3 years
Note
hello! may i ask some tips about the instragram acccunts the GoM + kagami could have? like of sort of post, amount of followers, stuff like that THANK U and have a great day !!
THIS IS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS SINCE I BREATHE OFF OF INSTAGRAM LFMAO
[Headcanons]
Kuroko Tetsuya
HELP WHAT IF HE HAS NO PRESENCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA TOO—
professional lurker
never comments on anything unless it’s to congratulate under a friend’s post or something like that
probably started using it because Ogiwara moved from letters and texts to just... instagram (technology advancements, jazz hands)
his account is on private, and he only lets people he knows follow him
all of his posts are pictures to commemorate something or just really wholesome group pictures
DEFINITELY has that picture of the GoMs at his birthday OVA
DEFINITELY also posted the big birthday picture taken at the end of the party
and also had typed very sappy BIG paragraph captions for both of these posts, talking about the journey and him being grateful… y’know, him being him
HIS ENTIRE COMMENT SECTIONS ARE JUST EVERYONE SOBBING AND KEYBOARD SPAMMING??? ONLY LIKE MIDORIMA AND AKASHI POST COHERENT RESPONSES UNDERNEATH
@kiseryouta: kuROKOCCHIIIII!!NEJWIEISK
@momoiowo: TETSUU (ʃƪ˘・ᴗ・˘) YOURE SO SWEET REEEE
@a_daikiii: i stg quit being so corny no one died yet🙄 and @momoiowo relax smh
@shin_chan77: I suppose I can express some form of gratitude for being in my life despite you being a blood type A. (insert a giant paragraph after this)
@4k4shi: This was very touching to read, Kuroko. I’m very glad that our… (insert him going down memory lane)
Murasakibara has no comment LMAO
his entire Seirin team are his hype men under his posts
his profile picture is literally the gray default blank head because he didn’t even set up a profile picture for himself
he has like 20 followers max or something?
8 posts? like, he only posts on special occasions or big events
his occasional stories are always comprised of Nigou and blurry Kagami pictures/videos running away from Nigou UH OH (courtesy of @dust-of-fandoms)
@tetsuya11 for his user handle
@dust-of-fandoms JUST MADE AN INSTAGRAM FOR HIM HERE!!
Kise Ryota
uses his instagram account as a portfolio for his modeling career
majority of his posts are actually pictures he managed to snag from his frequent model shoots
it looks SO professional… but then you look at his IGTVs and his reel videos
his reels are either short clips of mini vlog series he does whenever he visits the GoMs or when he’s recording his Kaijō teammates doing tricks and dunks
his IGTVs are either skincare tutorials, fashion advice… or just… unexplainable, out-of-context shitposts of Kise running away from what fans assumed “a green-haired man” or some “captain”
follower account?? 124k
who wouldn’t resist a hot model?
DEFINITELY HAS A TIKTOK I CAN FEEL IT
@kiseryouta with an official verification next to it
people either love him or hate him
posts a casual selfie from time to time, and people praise him for “being real” LMAODOA AND HE’S JUST STARING AT HIS PHONE LIKE “??? IMIG BUT I JUST FELT CUTE TODAY”
his captions feel fake LMAO like: “Wow! today’s so pretty today!” as he puts a selfie post OR “What’s your favorite game?✨” under a professionally-shot model picture that does not correlate with the caption???
has posted shitposts on his stories and his fans are utterly confused… only the GoMs get it LMAO
Midorima Shintarou
ONLY reason why he has social media is because Takao convinced him that he could let everyone know the daily lucky items for each signs for every post he makes
so for the first 2 months of having instagram he just casually posts a “daily horoscope” report(?) for the day
his content attracted in all the astrology fans and people who are devoted to tarots
and he’s CONFUSED.
… Takao may or may not have played a hand in messing with the algorithms to expose his account to bigger audiences
once Midorima finds out he’s MAD LMAO *insert Takao pain noises*
either goes down two paths: just casually continuing to post the daily Oha Asa predictions without interacting with anyone OR deleting his account and making a new PRIVATE one just for communication/lurking purposes
so he can honestly have 10k followers if he chooses to be a horoscope account or like 3 followers on his private, take it or leave it
maybe he has two accounts if he feels that having instagram has its merits
definitely has a shit ton of random stuff/posts in his saved collections
boomer energy, like… what’s a “reels” feature?? people talk to their phone camera and record that?? he’s squinting really hard and scratching his head
either has 356 horoscope posts on his “main” or like 19 posts on his private
has a rubber duck as a profile picture for BOTH ACCOUNTS HELP HIM
@oha_asa_ for his horoscope account or @shin_chan77 as his personal because he doesn’t know how to change his username (thanks, Takao LMAO)
Aomine Daiki
he doesn’t give a shit about instagram LOL
it’s MOMOI who handles his account because he doesn’t wanna bother with it LMAOO
she would tease him and try to “encourage” him to stop lazing around by taking pictures of him whenever he’s snoozing and posting it
but he’s so damn good-looking that his sleeping pictures got some traction with new fans
Aomine is still sleeping
his account also has pictures of him eating at Maji burger or at a café, and of course Momoi is the one snapping these photos of him
he started caring about it a little more once Momoi told him that he can post videos of himself doing trickshots and one-on-ones to potentially find worthy rivals over the internet and meet up
so now his account (videos, reels, IGTVs) are all riddled with basketball/small parkour footage shot by yours truly, Momoi
so his fanbase is split between thirsty people and people who genuinely admire him for his skills… but I mean there’s also people in both categories, anywho
he’d totally follow his favorite Japanese idols on IG if they had one
also would follow any NBA-related accounts/players he admires
has like 2.7k followers (but growing really fast) with like 176 posts of videos and random pictures of him
his profile picture is literally a picture of him sleeping by Momoi
@a_daikiii
Momoi Satsuki
LOTS OF REALLY cute, playful selfies, and a lot of them are used with cute filters from the Snow app
sometimes would post herself doing a really cute Tiktok dance while in her school uniform
she doesn’t post too much; she’s actually more into posting IG stories and making highlights out of them and then making highlight covers have a coordinating theme together
very aesthetic theme on her feed overall hehe
definitely uses her account to comment on other GoMs posts, often commenting something snarky on Aomine’s and Kise’s
actually has 1-2 IGTVs on the Vorpal Sword’s big game against the Jabberwocks
doesn’t have much of full-body shots/outfit pictures other than mirror selfies because Aomine refuses to take good pictures of her
only when she sees Kise or Kuroko is when she can ask either to be a photographer
she’s definitely gotten a few small collab offers from small businesses, but she usually ignores them because it’s not exactly her thing
her profile picture is just a selfie with a sketch-line cat ear filter
uses a bunch of emoticons on her bio, captions, comments, everything
⌒(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)⌒ or ☆⌒(>。≪) or .₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇. you get the picture
967 followers… that looks way too specific, but it’s somewhere around there; a lot of them came from Aomine’s account after they saw who’s been taking his pictures, and they wanna learn more about her??
around 40 posts?
@momoiowo
Murasakibara Atsushi
Himuro showed him how to use the app, but Murasakibara doesn’t find ANY USE FOR THIS LMAOO
he’d probably only get on it to look at food on the explore page and drool about the cuisines
keeps tabs on local places/restaurants/shops on instagram; those are probably the only accounts he’d follow tbh
it’s probably like ONE post and it’s an old picture of a dango on a plate he ate like 2 years ago
I have this image in my head that he has a really cute bento art as his profile picture?? can you imagine a Rilakkuma-shaped rice as his PROFILE PICTURE?
his bio is definitely: “hungry”
and that’s it
27 followers, and it’s literally just his Yōsen teammates, the GoMs and probably some other classmates of his
his captions are literally empty or 1-2 words
@oomaib0
Akashi Seijuro
only uses instagram because it’ll be beneficial for his company and to expand social networks, plus getting those sweet business deals and engagement
he doesn’t mind seeing really wholesome videos on the explore page though
when he wants to relax, a cat video melts his stress away
laughs to himself while he reads all the shenanigans underneath the GoMs’ posts
DEFINITELY loses a few brain cells seeing trolls and idiots on the internet… especially on controversial or political ones LMAO
he at first had to REFRAIN himself and take deep breaths before he just scrolls on, but he eventually got used to them and can now easily ignore them as easy as he breathes air
he actually enjoys shitposts and meme videos?? like he may not completely understand the meme trends sometimes, but he’ll still find it amusing enough for a chuckle
he ends up being the one who uses instagram the most? like Kise posts a shit ton, yeah, but Kise doesn’t really sit down and just scroll endlessly; Kise releases out content, while Akashi consumes the content
he reasons with himself that it’s to study his current demographics for the company, and while that may be true, Akashi just enjoys social media, plain and simple LOL
he does get to study the behaviors of all the generations using the platform, young folks and old folks alike, and it does get him excited in using his analytical skills to try to figure out people BEHIND a screen rather than those in front of him
it makes a really good challenge for him when he wants a good mental exercise
he has a post or two about his horses, his manor, and a video or two on him playing his violin?? but most are business-related, them being advertisements or business contracts/offers… things like that
his highlights are all about Q&As regarding the company, his background, his skillsets, etc. like an actual resumé
actually links current world issue cards/petitions on top of his company website; he’s quite an advocate
he actually doesn’t post about basketball because that’s something very close to his heart since it reminds him of his late mother… having that mixed in with his company-related posts feels wrong to him
27k followers, most of them are business-related accounts AND some are some followers his father bought for him without Akashi’s input to inflate engagement, etc.
@4k4shi… oh he thinks he’s SO CLEVER FOR MAKING THIS USERNAME LOL with the 4 being his jersey number and the 4s looking like As… AKASHI PLEASE—
his profile pic is like a professionally taken picture, nothing less for our king
his grammar and syntax are impeccable on social media; after all, he’s still being judged for how he carries himself even on the media
Kagami Taiga
mukbang guy… DEFINITELY
hot guy eating nine plates of steaks
IGTVs are filled with mukbang videos because Kuroko said he could make a living off of his appetite
HE COULD MAKE MONEY OFF OF JUST EATING? SIGN HIM UP.
on his posts, he posts dishes he makes for the day/is proud of and talks about the dish and ingredients briefly in the caption
that, or he has pictures of his new basketball shoes LMAO
or all of his basketball merch
HE’S DEFINITELY POSTED PICTURES OF LANDMARKS AND OTHER ICONIC PLACES HE’S TRAVELED TO (*cough* in America)
has a generic Jordan brand logo against a dark background as a profile picture
doesn’t have his face anywhere unless it’s in a mukbang video
279 followers or something
why do I have a feeling that he’ll accidentally blow up when Alex takes his phone to do a quick selfie on it?—
@taiga10
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nejiraez · 4 years
Text
firsts! | bakugou/todoroki fluff hcs
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anon asked: could i request firsts with bakugo & todoroki (and if u wanna add anyone else!) so like first hugs, first kisses, dates, etc, but reader initiated some firsts! I think it’ll be easier as headcanons, but whatever works for you! I don’t mind! 
genre: fluff not at how my fuckass delivering yall with todobaku hcs… on kaminari’s bday ahaha... 
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first date
“You haven’t tried that Korean restaurant down the street yet, huh? I’ll take you there this Friday then.”
That was Bakugou initiated his first date with you. It’s safe to presume that you two had relations with one another/been talking to each other prior to his demand of showing you around the city.
You being unfamiliar with places that you haven’t been to yet was used to Bakugou’s advantage and aided him with an excuse to take you out.
If you’re eating somewhere pays for you both. No ifs, ands, or buts, unless you want to be that couple that argues with the waiter for who the bill should go towards.
In the early stages of you going out, Bakugou would swear up and down that they’re not dates. At least he didn’t label them as so.
But the more he planned in advance of which place you two should tend to next, he grew more lenient with the term.
If you hit him with the “What are we?” line on your umpteenth outing with him, Bakugou’s quick to snap back at you with, “What do you mean? Thought we made it obvious already.”
Bakugou wouldn’t just go out of his way paying for anybody’s meals and showing them around the city back to back on endless occasions.
first kiss
Bakugou’s first kiss with you was terrifying, especially since you had initiated it.
He’s hyper aware of how your lips move against his, the hushed breaths that you exhale that are in tune with his, and how enticing the faint citrus-like scent of your hair is.
By the end of it, his stomach was in tight knots and there was a faint layer of sweat that coated the palms of his hands. He was convinced that whatever he was experiencing were the reactions of some unknown illness that he may have caught.
However, it’s easy to confuse feeling feverish with the rush of adrenaline, especially after something as monumental as you both stealing each other’s first kiss.
Seconds after you pull away from him, you're bold enough to ask, “Well, how was it?” 
Bakugou would shrug as he diverts his gaze to something else in the room other than your face. “You were fine, I guess. I dunno…”
It was much more than that though, it was amazing.
So much so that he’d contradict himself by leaning in for one more. Just to etch the feeling of you onto his skin.
first declaration of love
The first time you tell Bakugou that you loved him was when he was dropping you off at your apartment, right as you were about to step off the elevator. 
He was always acquainted with seeing you off at your floor, and that night wasn’t any different.
However, unlike the usual routine you told Bakugou that you didn’t need him seeing you off at your door, settling for you both to part ways at the elevators.
“I love you, see you tomorrow, yeah?” 
There’s a tranquil silence that hangs in the air right after. Bakugou manages to hide the way his fingers pause before pressing elevator’s controls. He’s stunned.
You thought he was about to respond by the way the corners of his lips twitched with the intent to say something, anything. However...
The cunt closes the doors on your face. His finger would still be jabbed against the “closed” button the entire ride down as he struggles to wrap his head around the fact that you love him. Its strange at first, hearing those three words which were meant for him linger in the air. 
Bakugou doesn’t know how to react, maybe he would’ve replied with a rushed “You too” had he not been so quick to flee the scene.
But one thing is for sure, the thought of it makes him feel giddy. It’s a scenario that his mind often wanders off to and replays when he’s alone beside himself.
He uses “I love you” scarcely, not throwing it around with reckless abandon so that it doesn’t lose it’s meaning. 
Of course, through his actions he lets it be known that he indeed does love you. But Bakugou saves his verbal affirmations for moments when he really feels the need to say so, when you need to hear him say it.
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first date
Todoroki is the one who brings up the idea that you two should visit your city’s art gallery together.
Right off the bat, Todoroki is keen on keying you in on the fact that it is a date. Just so there isn’t any confusion.
Like Bakugou, Todoroki would also pay for the majority of your dates if money was involved.
He insists that he does since, you being there with him and gracing him with your presence is reimbursement in itself. Cheesy but it works because his words are endearing as hell.
Todoroki would pick you up from your place and drop you off each and every time you both go out.
He’s a gentleman and sticks true to that character every time that he manages to snag you way from everyone for you two to spend the day alone together.
first kiss
Your first kiss with Shouto happens in a spurt of reckless affection which was initiated by him.
It wasn’t planned or anything. His body acted before his mind could tell him otherwise, and before you know it, Todoroki’s lips were on yours, carefully melded together.
He’s very gentle with you, cautious of where he rests his hands and is courteous to fact to move slowly as to not freak you out.
You were hesitant, your fingers twitched the more he peppered brief kisses against your lips, to which he’d respond by placing a reassuring hand on top of your own, easing your nerves away.
The more kisses you share, you’re brought with. Todoroki kisses are filled with great emotion and love that it feels as though you may drown in his affections if you don’t pull away for air.
To be frank, you learn that Todoroki is an incredible kisser. 
first declaration of love
In your relationship, you find that it’s Todoroki who does a lot of the firsts for you both.
So when it was you who surprised him with the first “I love you” he was taken aback. Todoroki’s unable to hide the overflowing adoration in his expression the moment your level your gaze with his.
He’d huff out a laugh, but it was not directed at you. The sensations of his heart skipping a beat, having jumbled words caught in his throat, the slow rise of a blush dusting his cheeks he was engulfed by a flurry of emotions.
Everything that he encountered in that moment all felt so foreign to him. The passion, the feeling of being lighthead, it was exhilarating.
Todoroki even thought of it to be amusing that he managed to be overwhelmed all by you telling him that you loved him.
But now, whenever you uttered your admiration to him, Todoroki is quick to follow suit. 
His declarations come in various forms with every action that he performs, every praise of adoration that he recites to you, his stringed words of consolation, he lets it be known that he loves you each and every time as if it were his last.
He’s more than happy to share his first experiences of love with somebody, and he’s thanks his lucky stars that that someone winded up to be you.
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juhihuji · 3 years
Text
what the fuck does bone dry mean
i’m full of wet bones right now  haha but for real I’m not feelin’ so good! I’m gonna type about furry commissions and whine or whateverrrr
LMAO in 2019 I filled 30 commission slots in 1 second pretty gamer am I right!!!!!! After almost 2 years I’m nearly almost finished with them I’m so slow.... but I might never have to draw furries ever again!!! I’m happy about that :•) I’ve been doing it for years and I’ve always hated it and I can’t even feel proud about it or show it off to people even tho I put a lot of time and effort into them. but here’s some fleshy grabs I kinda liked so I’m posting them cropped 😌
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squish
maybe it’s not the end maybe I’ll come crawling back but I’ll see (and you won’t)
I don’t feel inspired to draw anything right now and I feel bad about it!!!!!!!! I guess most people don’t care but some people wanna see more from me and I worry about letting them down! I feel like people know me for drawing Naruto fanart or DoL fanart but right now in my head those things have negative associations for me and I don’t like thinking about them 😔 and I hope it won’t always be that way but whenever I get close to resuming them I know in my head I’m only doing it with the hopes that it inspires me to make more fanart and then it feels like something I have to do instead of something I get to do and it ruins my enjoyment! I’m the only one placing that expectation on myself cuz I’m fuckin’ dumb but I keep trying to let myself enjoy things without pressuring myself to turn them into inspiration or art or something cuz it’ll just make me resent the thing. I had a short vampire phase 😳 I didn’t get into Twilight as a kid when everyone around me was cuz I was 2 koool but I watched the movies recently and I loved them wtf. Then I watched Interview with the Vampire it was beautiful! Then I watched Let the Right one in amazing!!!!!!! I started doin’ my makeup just at home to feel more like a vampire cuz u know what I AM a vampire :•| then on my vampire adventure I watched Vampire Knight and it sucked ass and now my vampire phase is over. What the fuck I HATE anime. Then I watched Here is Greenwood and I fell in love with it! I LOVE ANIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE but none of them inspired me to make any art so what’s the FUCKING POINT I might as well not have eyes I started meditating I hope that helps :•| I just wanna feel better man I’ve half heartedly been working on some sketches which I could post but I don’t feel like finishing anything 😔 this whole post is a bummer but I hope posting it relieves me somewhat. I feel like this has all been a stinky secret and I wanted to hide from social media but even if nobody reads it it’s here so you can’t tell me I kept it from you! 😭 and I hope it gets rid of the Naruto curse on me where I feel like I’m obligated to make more Naruto fanart my friend called naruto a chubby kid with asthma and a bum knee and he’s never read/watched it but I think him typing those words ruined my life shoo shoo Naruto anxiety
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parkersloths · 3 years
Note
Hi ^^
First of all – your Art is INCREDIBLE!!!
I especially love your use of colors and textures :) Everything is so bright and colorful, but still cohesive. And your images are so clear without being overly detailed! It’s all literally perfection!!!
I like to draw digitally as well and your art-style is a huge inspiration for me. So I wanted to ask if you have any work in progress videos or pictures? Or if you could explain your process in general? Like, are you using a sketch layer underneath, with how many layers are you normally working, what kind of brushes do you use or any tips overall to improve digital painting?
Of course you don’t have to answer this (kinda a lot of questions, sorry 😅 ). Just know that I adore your art and that you’re helping me on my own art-journey just by sharing your work with the world – so, thank you!!! <3
Hey!! So first of all thank you so much for everthing you said about my art, I really appreciate it! But also omg thank youuu for this amazing ask like this is for real the kind of ask I've always wanted to get, where a total stranger is interested in my process XD So yeah don't worry about asking a lot of questions, they were great and I loved them!
Also I'm super flattered that my art has inspired you in your own digital art journey and I hope the stuff I say here can also help somewhat! This will get pretty long so sorry in advance everyone for making you scroll so much cause for some reason the read more option doesn't work on mobile :/
But anyway to answer your questions!
Sadly I don't have videos but I do have some pics I'll share. This is actually my second attempt at answering this because before I was going to use some WIP pics of the Majid drawing as example but then I didn't want to because it was in black and white and color is kind of one of the main things I like to emphasize in my art so I wanted to talk about it in the example XD Then I started a couple new drawings and was taking pics of those but I got super artblocked, but luckily I just finished one out of the blue that I can use. Okay so... I started answering this, again, and it was getting way too long and rambly so I'm gonna try to keep it simple this time and maybe I can elaborate more another time if you're still interested/ if anyone else wants know X'D
My process in general: I always start by making a simple basic background to work on, just fill it in and add some blotches of color. Then on a new layer I just start painting the subject, no sketch, so again just laying down some colors (I usually take whatever color in the bg is closest to skin tone and adjust the new color from there) and I just start blocking some shapes in aproximately the right places to start defining where things will be and how they fit together and just go from there. It's hard to explain it more cause that's kinda it, I just paint until things look like they're supposed to or at least visually appealing enough XD I add or adjust whatever colors seem necessary along the way (in this particular drawing I left the darker values until way too late which I don't recommend) and just refine and refine and refine things and add as many or as few details as I feel like, working on everything simmultaneously bit by bit.
Layers: like I mentioned before there's no sketch, and I try to use as few layers as possible so usually I'll have about 3-5. One for the basic background, one to three (though sometimes I merge them) additional layers for more background effects/colors/value fixes that I usually add later in the process, and I try to have just one for the subject. Sometimes I have one or two more if I'm feeling too hesitant but I always merge them in the end.
Brushes: I only use one brush at 50% opacity the whole time for everything. It's a squarish/rectangular brush that has some sort of jagged edges and a bit of a watercolory texture.
Tips: so this part is especially hard cause like.. I feel like any tips I could give are only applicable to drawing portraits and even then it'd be for doing it in the particular way that I prefer.. Like for example I could say it's best to work on every area at the same time and never spend too long one thing before moving on to the next but.. some people actually prefer finishing the eyes completely before moving on to the nose for example you know? So honestly the main thing I'll say is kinda to just experiment with a lot of methods and styles and see what works or doesn't work for you. Something that I think always helped me a lot was watching speedpaints of people who were more skilled than me and had a distinct style, just literally watch how they did their thing and every once in a while I might notice something I'd be interested in trying for myself and yeah with practice and experience you just kinda figure out what kind of things you not only like seeing but actually want in your own art. Like years ago I used to sketch but then I saw enough videos of people painting without sketching that I wanted to try it and I realized it's just more fun and makes more sense to me that way. So yeah try lots of different things and see what works for you and what you want to incorporate into your own art style!
Some more standard digital art tips I could give I guess are like.. the thing I said about not spending too much time on just one area (if it applies to your prefered process XD). Flip the drawing every now and then to catch stuff that's off. Stay zoomed out as much as possible and when you do zoom in for details always keep an eye on how the bigger picture's looking. Take your time finding or arranging a good reference pic that really inspires you cause it'll save you time and frustration later. And aaa idk I could say more but I don't think it's that informative or helpful, and all of this is probably really basic obvious stuff anyway and this is long enough as it is so yeah I'll leave it there...
I hope any of this can help in some way or that I've at least answered your questions in a satisfying enough way haha And finally here are some of the WIP pics I took. Where you can see some parts of the process. I did a lot more after that last pic but yeah at that point it's just about fixing little things, refining and adding details, but there you can see the color adjustment thing I usually do as the very last step (though not for this pic). I don't always have to do it, and there are probably times when I shouldn't, but I almost always like to do it anyway and that's why my colors look so exaggerated and bright XD I usually make the midtones more red and/or magenta, the shadows more blue, and the highlights more yellow (and sometimes a bit cyan) but if you wanna try something like that it's definitely fun to experiment with the different color possibilities ;u;
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And yeah that's it for now! I'm sorry this is so long, and this was the short version lol I hope you like the answers at least a fraction of how much I loved the questions X'D
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faithinthefuture28 · 4 years
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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship
**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”
I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:
2013
L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 
H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily
H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 
L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).
L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes
L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex
2014
L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 
L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones
L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs
L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)
H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)
H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 
2015
H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 
L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)
H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 
L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********
H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 
H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 
L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 
 2016-2017
H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 
H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****
H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad
H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 
L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).
H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)
L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it
L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u
2018-2019
L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 
L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 
L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 
L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now
L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of
L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********
H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******
H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it
H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******
H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 
H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)
H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 
H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her
H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)
H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 
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Yanois - Second Impressions Can Bring Misfortune
Read Part One here, or check it out on AO3!
Though their first meeting could have gone better, Illinois might be a little fond of the mystery prisoner. Let’s just hope his famous luck doesn’t run out…
Warning: There is an instance of deadnaming under the read-more. It’s accidental, but be mindful if that might cause a little upset. (I promise this doesn’t end on a bad note)
Word Count: 2,448 (sorry, it’s four hand-written pages)
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After his encounter with the brash prisoner, Illinois found he couldn’t get the other man out of his head. It was hardly an attraction (no, shut up! It wasn’t!), but he accepted that there was a level of interest in the unknown. Perhaps it was the prisoner’s standoffish attitude, or how he seemed utterly disinterested yet keenly focused. He didn’t heckle during the lecture, so he wasn’t there for the sole purpose of causing trouble.
But the question that plagued Illinois was painfully simple: what was the prisoner’s name? He hated how badly he wanted to know. Ah, the curse of the archaeologist - insatiable curiosity! With no starting point, Illinois took inspiration from his work and fetched his laptop to start the research.
Most prisoners were from Texas, but not all. The stranger’s accent suggested he was potentially from New York, so Illinois decided to sieve through articles that made reference to a transferral to a Texan prison first. His abundance of good luck meant that it only took an hour to find a result that was most fitting. The article was several years old and discussed the outcome of a rather tragic case. The information was put to the back of his mind - Warden Murderslaughter always said to never talk about an inmate’s crime unless they bring it up first - as Illinois instead took the important information. The photograph used of the criminal was old, but it matched. Which meant… He had a name! All he had to do was wait until the next time he was set to visit Happy Trails Penitentiary.
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As luck would have it, he merely had to wait a week. When he wasn’t travelling as part of archaeological trips, Illinois would volunteer two Saturdays a month to teach the inmates. Unlike his history lectures, these consisted of smaller groups of prisoners undertaking a short course on several points in history; which would be rounded off with each prisoner completing a short research project on something that interested them in the course. All he needed was to put his possessions in the room he used for classes, and then he would be free to find the right prisoner if he arrived earlier than usual. The inmates followed a set schedule with minor variations depending on when their work shifts were. He had been volunteering long enough to know when one of the crossover periods would take place. It would be easy to find him!
The rec yard was fruitless, as was the library. But it was upon leaving the chow hall that Illinois spotted the man of the hour. He seemed in a hurry as the prisoner dashed toward the hall.
“Ah! Can I have a moment?” Illinois called out. The tattooed man screeched to a halt, bemused once he realised who wanted his attention. Unfortunately, no one else was around, so it had to be him. 
“Sure. Fine. What?” His eyes didn’t stay on Illinois, but instead darted to the clock.
“I know this is likely a bad time, but I’d like a chance to talk. We got off on the wrong foot last time.” Even Illinois knew it didn’t go well. “Are you free after your shift?”
“U-uh…. Yeah?” Thrown by the turn of events, it appeared the bold prisoner was willing to cooperate. “I know I’d never hear the end of it if my friends heard I refused. They’s is always singing youse’s praises. ‘Sides, second chances is always a good thing, right?” He looked as though he was about to say something else, but decided against it. Regardless, Illinois was elated.
“Excellent! In that case, I’ll be in the classroom just opposite the library until seven this evening. Call by when you’re free. Even if there’s a class going on, sit in on it anyway.” The prisoner nodded and hurried past once he knew he was dismissed. Before the other disappeared into the chow hall, Illinois belatedly realised he should be more polite about this. He guessed the other might be swallowing his pride in accepting the invitation to chat, given their first meeting. The least he could do was show some manners.
“Thank you! I look forward to chatting, █████!”
Whatever progress had been made was instantly thrown aside. The prisoner froze in the doorway. Though his back was to Illinois, the archaeologist could see that the other was rigid. It wasn’t a reaction Illinois associated with hearing one’s own name…. Unless it was a name they didn’t use anymore.
“O-oh my God, I’m so sorry, I had no -” For once, Illinois found himself stammering in a frantic attempt to get an apology out. It was to no avail, as a fistful of his shirt had been grabbed and he was slammed against the wall.
“I don’t know what sorta shit game youse is playing,” the prisoner hissed, “But if youse is gonna act like youse is better than me by being such a sly bitch…. I really wanna beat the shit outta youse, but I don’t wanna get in trouble.”
“Yancy! That’s enough!” The prisoner - Yancy? - dropped Illinois without hesitation and didn’t struggle when two guards rushed over and restrained him. “Bring him into th’ chow hall to calm down. I’ll speak to him in a sec. As fer you…” Yancy was led away by the guards, and it was hard to ignore how withdrawn he seemed compared to minutes earlier. With heavy guilt, Illinois pulled his attention away to finally acknowledge Warden Murderslaughter, who had been the one to stop the disaster in its tracks. His lips were pursed and his arms crossed as he shook his head. “I’m disappointed in you, Illinois. Out of all our volunteers, I thought you would’ve known our most important rule better than anyone else: don’t provoke th’ inmates with topics that are touchy fer ‘em.”
“But I didn’t know -” Illinois’ head turned toward the chow hall’s entrance. “I only wanted to get to know him. I didn’t mean to…”
“Who told you that name?”
“No one?” He looked back at the Warden with confusion. “I read it in an article covering the trial online.” The Warden pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh.
“Son… You could’ve saved yourself a whole lotta bother if you’d thought to ask someone here, even over the phone. It isn’t like you to mess up like this.” He put an arm around Illinois’ shoulder and began guiding him toward the staff breakroom. “The name you used is correct, if you go by legal documents or the press, but it’s not the name he goes by. Everyone calls him ‘Yancy’. See, his birth name has links to pretty painful memories that I don’t think he’ll ever recover from, and he’s been striving to prove he’s a better person as ‘Yancy’. So to turn ‘round and use th’ wrong name is like a slap to the face and a surefire way for him to hate you. Now, I know you had good intentions and it was an honest mistake, but you need to be more careful. Next time you see him, give him a good, proper apology. Just know he’s probably gonna be frosty toward ya. I’ll go talk to him and check if he’s okay, let him know you didn't mean to use the wrong name.” The Warden threw a glance over his shoulder with a hint of a smile. “Yancy’s a good kid, despite how he acts sometimes. He’s been through some rough times, but his heart’s stayed in the right place. If he can have a friend outside the prison… I think it’ll do him some good. Now, get yourrself a coffee before you start classes.”
Illinois blinked, genuinely surprised to realise they had arrived. Murderslaughter gave him a hearty slap on the back of the shoulder (Illinois had learned long ago the art of hiding the wince from the strength of such actions) before making his way back to the chow hall.
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In the chow hall, Yancy was a mess. He sat far away from anyone else who might have been there. A cup of water had been given to him, but it was used more as a stress ball rather than a drink. He didn’t know what to think. How could someone act like they wanted to be a friend, then turn around in the same breath and say something that implied the complete opposite? Why remind him of what he did long ago? The cup was put aside so he could slump across the table with a defeated groan. █████… Was that all he was ever going to be to the outside world? Would the attempts he has made to be a better person forever go unnoticed under the large, looming shadow of his crimes? Then again, prisoners like him were locked away to be forgotten about by the world.
His form tensed the moment he spotted the Warden sitting opposite him. This was it - he was going to be scolded and sent to Solitary, and probably lose other privileges on top of that. How dare Yancy lay a finger on the visitor everyone worshipped!!
But it was nothing like that. Murderslaughter checked if he was okay. They sat in silence for a few moments so Yancy could try and collect himself without anyone else approaching. Then, the Warden praised him for not completely lashing out, but then took time to explain Illinois’ side of things.
“- He’s not like the reporters or anyone else who comes to ‘visit’ you. He was a moron who didn’t ask th’ staff for your name. It seems like he wants to try an’ be friends…. But it’s fine if ya don’t wanna see him today. An’ if you’d rather go lie down instead of working, that’s fine too.
“N-no… I’d rather work. Don’t really wanna be left alone with my thoughts just yet.”
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Yancy spent the rest of the morning washing dishes. The work wasn’t ‘busy’ enough to keep his mind distracted, but it was labour-intensive and he could work out his frustration on the crockery. By the time he finished his shift and lunch, he returned to his cell with an idea - he needed to get rid of the White Jaguar model. It had to be the source of the blame.
But just like a blasted boomerang, the clay figure kept returning to him in ridiculous manners throughout the afternoon. Yancy dropped it in the trash on the way outside, only to be tapped on the shoulder by another prisoner who thought it was dropped by mistake. Trying to gift it to anyone in the Gang had them refuse - Bam-Bam had initially accepted, but changed his mind when he held the tiny model and handed it back to Yancy with the excuse that it ‘belonged’ to him. He then hid it in the long grass in the rec yard. When no one immediately found it, he went to the bathroom, returned to his cell… And was greeted with the terrifying sight of the White Jaguar sitting on his pillow, staring at him. Overcome with frustration, he decided to simply break it. He threw it at the wall with all his might. Instead of smashing, it ricocheted off the wall and toppled his radio that had been on his bed, before landing neatly on the pillow. Yancy picked it up, he swore there was a look of smugness on the Jaguar’s face, which reminded him of… Wait.
He could simply return it to Illinois and ask him never to speak to Yancy again. It would solve two problems at once.
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“Come in!” Illinois’ voice was upbeat as he tidied the classroom after a day of workshops. The guilt from earlier had been put aside in favour of professionalism. He did have a reputation to uphold, after all. However, that professionalism immediately slipped the moment he saw who entered.
“Yancy!” The name was blurted out with relief more than pleasantry. Whatever Illinois had been putting into his briefcase was unceremoniously dumped as he gave Yancy his full attention. “Before you say anything…. I want to apologise for this morning. I made the mistake of not checking with the staff what name you prefer to go by. It was careless of me. I know I upset you, and I am truly sorry. You don’t need to forgive me, as I know it’s something that hurt you… But I just want you to know I didn’t mean to use that name, and I’ll never use it again, Yancy.”
Yancy was dumbfounded. No one who deliberately used that name apologised. They never cared that it made him uncomfortable and upset. Emotions stung him for the second time that day, but polar opposites to the anger that had nearly consumed him in the morning.
“I-I, uh… Thanks. For apologising, I mean. Takes balls to admit youse was wrong ‘bout something. But it means a lot that, y’know, youse said sorry. So… If it’s okay with youse, we can consider it forgiven and forgotten.” Yancy looked ill at ease, but Illinois couldn’t blame him. It would be better to find a new topic to talk about before Yancy decided to swiftly dismiss himself. At that moment, Yancy adjusted his stance, drawing Illinois’ attention to his hand.
“Is that the White Jaguar model I gave you?”
Yancy blinked and looked at his hand like he didn’t know it had existed until that very moment. He opened his mouth, only to snap it shut with a quick shake of his head. When he did speak again, there was the faintest hint of a smile.
“Yeah, uh… Had a few people asking ‘bout it, but I don’t remember shit from that talk so… Is it too late to join one of these class things you is doing?” Yancy mentally slapped himself for doing the opposite of what he had intended, but it wasn’t met with a cocky reaction. Instead, Illinois’ face lit up like the Fourth of July and invited Yancy to the desk so they could check if there was a class that would fit neatly into Yancy’s schedule. There was a hint of awkwardness between them, but Illinois was optimistic that this could be the start of a better chapter for them.
However, he did get a little ahead of himself and winked at Yancy just before the prisoner left. Yancy rolled his eyes, but the dismissive look had a trace of amusement in it as he left. Once the door closed, Illinois found himself staring at it for several long moments.
Okay… Maybe there was a bit of an attraction toward Yancy after all.
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