Tumgik
#so if i act kind of agressive towards those that send me anon asks. i’m very sorry. i may have anger issues stemming from my abusive househo
arcadejohn127-9 · 3 years
Note
Do you think you could do the Brothers reacting to a video surfacing of Male!MC in a disguised child fighting ring? And I’m not talking like “Oh no! look the kids are fighting down in the playground!” but like “Oh my god MC is brutally bashing this kids head into the ground in the middle of a classroom”
I totally get that this is a super dark request but..recently a video of my “Elementary teachers“ cheering me on to hurt my classmates and for them to do the same to me was sent to me and and I just... need the comfort, I guess. (It’s never as obvious as people think it is, and everyone underestimated what sick bastards will do when they want “entertainment”)
Again, totally get it if this is to dark, I could just really use the comfort, and I don’t have the time to get it anywhere else because I’m always working and quarantined so 🤷
That's really deep, this almost feels too personal to share as a prompt but I'll do what I can my best. I can't imagine the disgust and overwhelmed emotions you're experiencing right now
I was a fairly aggressive kid to my peers growing up and that shit eats at me but this kind of level? That's just heart breaking and the fact teacher did that is just sickening
I'm so sorry and hope this can give some comfort even if it's just a fraction. Thank you for coming to me with something so personal and I always feel touched you you guys come to my page for comfort asks and or prompts - it's a privilege to feel this trusted even if you are anons
Also I won't be using canon usernames because bad memory and uuuhhh I'm lazy
Warning: violence, children involved violence, swearing, angst, neglectful adults, hurt/comfort
L3vi:
Yoooo!!!! I just found this video of (Y/N) pop around a few servers
L3vi:
I'm a mod in most of them so I've been able to delete them after watching it and have been getting people to delete it but it's not working
A$$mo:
What do you mean? What video? 😮😳 Did nudes get leaked??!!
Scumbag:
HUH??! someone's sharing videos of (Y/N)??!! who are they?! I'll go right to 'em If they wanna be like that!
Lucifer:
A video? I'm guessing it's quite serious if you're trying to get people to delete it, what is it? we need to tell (Y/N) if a private video has been released to the public without consent
Cat boy (=`ェ´=):
What are you doing just telling us
Cat boy (=`ェ´=):
YOU DAMN SHUT IN IF SOMEONE IS PURPOSEFULLY HURTING (Y/N) WE NEED TO DO MORE THAN ASK THEM! STOP TAKING SO LONG TO EXPLAIN WHAT ELSE IS THE MATTER!!!!
l3vi:
FORGIVE ME!!!! I've been debating as this is pretty serious stuff
L3vi:
[sent an video]
5 of the brothers opened the video, Levi already watched it and Beel was offline, they all stared in shock. The Devildom can be am agressive and rough place when it can be but this?
They felt sick to their stomach. Seeing such innocent children being tainted and encouraged to be violent by the adults around them. To see such a little sweet looking you grab and beat on another child.
There was blood on the classroom carpet, screams and cheers. Threats ringing out the room by the teacher's whilst you screeched and threw down your small fists. Cries for their mother was the kid beneath you could muster.
The brother's heart broke at this.
Asmo sat there with hand over his mouth, tears lining the corners of his eyes. Mammon threw the phone down and just sat there, hearing everything that was happening. Lucifer could only watch so much of it before he turned off his screen; face to face with his tear eyes in the black screen. Satan felt apart of him shake, he was like this when he was younger but to hear the teachers cheers it just broke him. Belphegor was all for violence and people getting hurt but seeing you in that state at such a young age - he couldn't stand it.
This wasn't the you they knew. You never brought this up and the bigger question was; how did this get online?
Build a bitch:
Whoa just woke up to that
Build a bitch:
Who's been sharing this? How did people get this kind of film?? This had to be done in the human world
Build a bitch:
I'm getting Beel to check his phone
Lucifer:
This is just disgusting behaviour....poor (Y/N)..to be filmed like this, I cannot stand for this kind of thing, I trust you've already hacking their accounts of the sharers
L3vi:
I'm working on it! I only learned hacking back in 1990 and procrastinated on learning everything 😬
Scumbag:
I ain't believing this...! THEY JUST STOOD THERE AND FILMED WHILST JUST DOING THAT TO MY POOR HUMAN?!?! I SWEAR I'M GONNA GO FIND THOSE TEACHERS MYSELF!!!
BBQ foot lettuce:
I just got online, belphie told me there was an issue
BBQ foot lettuce:
Lucifer we need to stop this from spreading and tell Diavolo
build a bitch:
He's useless! I could do more than him in this minute!
A$$mo:
Poor (Y/N) 😭😭 I need to go hug my poor darling! That must of been awful! We can't let it spread and have (Y/N) find out
You did find out. You got it sent to you through direct message. This memory felt like such a blur, a nightmare they scratched the back of your mind that you could never tell if it was real or not. It was real.
You looked down at your hands; unstained and non damaged. They were trembling and you couldn't stop. You tried to stop the way your body trembled, your hand flying to your mouth as you let out a pain gag. Stars shimmering in your gaze as tears poured down your face, you couldn't focus on anything other than the pain in your throat. Your throat clamped and hugged itself as if it needed comfort from what you just watched. Your voice unable to escape.
You poured your agonized heart out into your pillow. You couldn't believe it. How did someone get this? How did they know it was you? Why did they send you this? Who else has seen this?!
So many questions filled your heard, you couldn't even focus on your own internal voice. Your vision growing more blurry as a fresh fountain of tears flooded out.
When you finally calmed down you reasurred yourself that no one else knew. You convinced yourself that nobody had to know or would even see it. You stumbled out of your bedroom with phone in hand, your cheeks blemished and stinging. Your throat finally released itself as you made your way to the kitchen.
Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal-
"(Y/N)?" come to the living room, we need to talk."
Your throat immediately closed back up. You thought you couldn't cry Anymore. You thought you were okay and able to push on but fresh tears came. You followed Lucifer to the living room only to be greeted by distraught expressions.
They knew.
Mammon was quick to stand up, charging towards you and hugged you as tightly as he could. You shriveled in his touch; internally demanding him to not do this but you just sobbed, hugging him back.
"It ain't ya fault and you were just a kid, you didn't need to go through that and your teachers were awful."
You cried harder and hugged him tighter. Asmo was the second to come over, hugging you tight.
"I'm so sorry, I know that can mean nothing but I truly am, you don't deserve this or anything bad that happened to you."
Beel and belphie came towards you third, joining in on the hug.
"You're not that kind of person and they're not real teachers, you're okay with us."
"You were just a child, you're not that experience and they shouldn't of sent that to you or anyone - we're fixing it, I promise."
Levi showed you his phone, hesitantly joining the hug.
"I've been hacking the accounts to see who's doing this to you, we'll make sure they can't do this, you're my Henry and i know he would never turn away from Someone in need."
Satan joined, rubbing your arm as he held you tight.
"We'll make them regret making you relive that memory and those teachers, they were no real ones if they treat you like that, we have you, you're safe and they were cruel."
Lucifer was the last to join, patting your head
"I promise we'll fix this, just let it all out."
And you did. Until you were barely awake, you laid on the sofa whilst Diavolo gently asked you do many questions. As soon as he could he came to see you, comfort you and see how you're feeling.
They didn't Leave your side until it was night-time, you were fast asleep and the brothers sighed. They will find out who did this and fulfil their promises. They'll stay with you but they also wanted to make those Teachers pay. They'll be here with you until you're able to feel peaceful within yourself and they fixed everything
"thank you..."
62 notes · View notes
Note
thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers ! another ask for u : im soo afraid in the next chapter momo will be homophobic towards ht !! I mean except Zzx who seems at ease with his sexuality, the other boys all seem kind of homophobic. Jy called ht repulsive bc he called him pretty while he was a guy, Ht is very agressive in his advances (which i linked to toxic virility which entails homophobia) ; then both of them changed for the better bc of their feelings for another man. 1/?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Good evening, dear anon-san!
“thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers !”
I’m glad you’ve enjoyed them! Every time people send me questions it always makes me happy and to be honest, a bit taken aback because I’m just a little old me. But I’m glad my answers have had such a positive reception and given people food for thought. And it’s always a pleasant surprise when people feel like they can come to my ask box with their interpretations and strike up a conversation.
Homophobia is a very complex topic, and I wondered where I should start to unravel this ask. But soon I realized before I can even begin that I have to take a moment to sort out my own feelings. Whenever people say the boys in 19 Days are abusive or homophobic for whatever reason I tend to get ticked off. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, often sparked by my own bias, but something that can very easily cloud my answer and make it unfair for you. Exchanging interpretations and perspectives requires a level of objectivity and the ability to rise above your own bias. I can’t dismiss something just because it uncomfortably pokes my nerve. Instead, I should take a step back, try and see things from another point of view, and find some common ground.
I’m not saying I had to struggle to agree with you on anything but your ask certainly reminded me of how challenging yet rewarding it is to actually listen to an interpretation that differs from my own and try to objectively look at the story from that point of view. It hurts your brain at first but is surprisingly freeing in the end.
Because you addressed so many things in your ask, I will tie my answer together under the theme of homophobia and give it some structure that way. This will be my great 19 Days - homophobia edition. \(^v^)/
Sexual orientation and environment
Let’s start with the biggest context you brought up in your ask: social and cultural environment. I’m not familiar enough with Chinese culture to have anything definite to say about its attitude towards LGBT people. Of course, I’ve heard of the discrimination and even blatant hate by their government but I don’t have any idea about how ordinary, modern-day Chinese people view others with different sexual orientations. Not to mention, it’s always risky to take fictional works as an accurate representation of the milieu in which they’re set.
But I do think that 19 Days discusses homophobia in societies, though on a more general level. As Jian Yi has come to realize his feelings towards Zhan Zheng Xi, we’ve also gotten glimpses of his struggles. They’re surrounded by other kids in school, and from the very early chapters it’s been implied two guys being that close together or comfortable with that level of skinship turns people’s heads (ch. 53, 54, 55, and 57):
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Of course, those panels also poke fun at the stereotype of girls being interested in cute guys being cute together. The girls stare, take pictures, and even smile knowingly. This bothered ZZX because it put him in awkward situations and created misunderstandings that would be embarrassing to correct. And the more he would try to deny and correct them, the more he would probably end up looking suspicious. But the bottom line is, he was increasingly conscious of the weird looks and attention JY’s antics were attracting and didn’t want people to get the wrong picture of his friendship with JY. All of that could give us some hints on how two boys being close might be viewed by their peers, but it should also be kept in mind that those kinds of “gay panic” moments are a big part of the humor you find in 19 Days.
Having a crush on someone of the same gender gets more serious tones after JY kissed ZZX (ch. 142)
Tumblr media
The secret was finally out in the open. JY had carried his feelings in his heart for a long time. He had wanted to confess them so many times and often hidden them behind jokes and antics. Perhaps every time he had jumped to hug ZZX he had caught a whiff of his scent and enjoyed the feeling of him in his arms. But to take the definite last step of confessing and lifting that curtain had always terrified him. And who wouldn’t have been scared? Not only would you have to come out but also risk losing your childhood best friend. It could be JY had even thought of never telling ZZX about his feelings because it could go horribly wrong.
For a while, things are somewhat put on pause after the first reveal which I found very realistic. JY wasn’t flat-out rejected but ZZX most definitely needed a moment to sort out his own feelings. He pestered JY to be straight with him (pun not intended...) and made it clear it would be safe for JY to rely on him and free himself of the burden. Despite that JY was still very unsure if his confession won’t result in ZZX abandoning him because “gay” is abnormal and disgusting (ch. 164):
Tumblr media
Even when JY finally confessed he was expecting to be rejected in disgust (ch. 209):
Tumblr media
But he had sort of reached the point of just finally getting it all out even if ZZX wouldn’t return his feelings. Even if it meant they wouldn’t be friends anymore. At least he had said it. He had heartbreakingly little faith that their kind of relationship wouldn’t be completely doomed. Thank god he had fallen for someone like ZZX. I don’t think I’ve never been as grateful for a character like him before.
A tangible example of how Zhanyi and their environment collided was Xiao Hui’s character (ch. 158):
Tumblr media
When she called JY a disgusting gay, it was the first time he was facing that kind of homophobia. Though her actions were frustrating, I think Xiao Hui’s character was a good addition to Zhanyi. At first, she lashed out both because she was hurt and publicly humiliated but also no doubt because she had internalized the idea that heterosexuality was the norm and anything else was abnormal and wrong. Later on, she had had time to lick her wounds and calm down (ch. 258):
Tumblr media
She still has a crush on ZZX but even though she probably realizes she doesn’t have a chance she still wants a clear rejection from ZZX. It still hurts and stings but doesn’t upset her as much. It could even be she’s a little happy for them. I think Xiao Hui’s character is a good example that people are capable of changing and reflecting when they’re given a chance. And no one should be forever held accountable and punished for the mistakes they made and have since bettered themselves.
In a broader sense, I think Zhanyi also discusses what kind of future a same-sex couple could have in society (ch. 268):
Tumblr media
That drawing on the wall is my favorite Zhanyi moment. As cute as ZZX drawing him and JY together was, it also carries some bittersweet undertones. The original drawing represents the norm: a boy and a girl in love but if there are no skirts involved, it’s a whole other story. To be open about their relationship would most probably never be an option for JY and ZZX. Something as simple as holding hands in public would take courage and threaten to complicate other aspects of their lives (school, work, family). They don’t have the same privilege as straight people to openly and safely share their feelings and have that universal experience.
Your ask was mainly about Mo Guan Shan and He Tian, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about their environment since you also referred to it. And the easiest way for that seemed to be to talk about the progress of Zhanyi. As you suggested, it does seem the society in which all of the characters live is very much heteronormative which puts pressure on the characters to fit in. And if they fail that, they will face homophobia and most probably feel the need to hide their true selves. Case in point, Zhanyi.
Boys being boys
As much as I know that phrase is deemed Problematic™ these days, I think it fits the dynamics of the boys of 19 Days. They mess with each other, and all of that is typical humor for the comic. Personally, I’ve never taken any of their teasing and good-natured bullying seriously because it’s how 15-year-old boys are around each other.
However, I just finished talking about the environment under which influences and discourses the boys have grown up. I don’t feel like I can ignore what I had just been saying and brush it off as “oh well, they’re just boys” if they’ve always been surrounded by certain attitudes. Does that mean the boys have also internalized those attitudes towards gay people despite having feelings for someone of the same sex? Does that make them a representation of toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia?
In all honesty, I’m struggling to answer those questions. On one hand, I do agree that society’s norms of what is masculine put a lot of pressure on boys when growing up. You have to act, talk, dress, and be in a certain way to be accepted, and it doesn’t take a lot for kids to internalize those ideas. And as you said, acting or looking gay (not to mention, actually being one) is probably the worst a young boy could be. Being gay is often linked to everything a proper man shouldn’t be: sissy, effeminate, sensitive, weak, submissive, on the bottom. The list goes on and on.
On the other hand, do I think you can see that in the four main boys of 19 Days? I suppose it’s possible if that’s the direction you want to take. If you look at anything through those lenses, you can probably find toxic masculinity everywhere. Do I think HT, MGS, JY and ZZX are homophobic because they possibly showcase traits of toxic masculinity? I guess. I don’t know. I see where that interpretation comes from, but some part of my brain never manages to make the full connection between those two. I’m constantly having a feeling that my way of thinking differs from your interpretation but I can’t properly validate or argue my opinions.
Perhaps taking a look at the examples you mentioned might help. You talked about JY being homophobic when this was his response to HT calling him good looking (ch. 108):
Tumblr media
I can’t exactly deny that panel couldn’t be taken as toxic masculinity. I might even agree with you on that. I wouldn’t probably go as far as saying JY was being homophobic but it does seem like his masculinity was threatened or questioned in that situation. Interestingly, I’ve seen that phrase pop up a lot in yaoi/shounen-ai comics. Characters who are in a gay relationship don’t often feel comfortable with guys complimenting them - or even the guy they’re in love with. I’ve always wondered that. Does that mean there’s a level of self-denial in those characters or is it just a cultural thing? Does it embarrass them?
In general, I think all of that has to do with their age, and another good example of that would be ZZX and JY’s reaction to HT messing with MGS (ch. 289 and 298):
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I’ve seen people calling those moments homophobic as well and can’t really agree with them. I would say those reactions have more to do with teenage boys being awkward and embarrassed. HT putting the moves on MGS in front of them is embarrassing and something they don’t wish to see. I mean, I wouldn’t want to see my friends constantly acting like that around me either. Seeing public displays of affection embarrasses me and makes me awkward as hell. (Though, I don’t know if that’s just a Finnish thing...)
In short, I see a lot of how the boys act around each other just natural to how teenage boys are. They mess with each other and standing up for yourself in that sense (for example, getting revenge, being physical, or returning the verbal teasing) is important and typical. That’s how I see JY’s words in the example you mentioned: he felt like HT was messing with him and shot back. All of that could, of course, be seen as internalized toxic masculinity, but I don’t think it’s quite as blatant as people sometimes make it out to be. I’ve always taken it as boys just being boys and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
What comes to HT being pushy and overbearing, I don’t see that being connected to toxic masculinity and making him homophobic because of that. It feels a bit of a stretch and shakey. Instead, I actually think HT is quite comfortable with both of his own feelings for MGS and the idea of same-sex relationships in general (ch. 187):
Tumblr media
The little heart-to-hearts JY and HT occasionally have also show us that despite often making fun of each other, they can take it more seriously when needed. JY would have never asked about having feelings for another male if he couldn’t trust HT wouldn’t make fun of him.
The case of Mo Guan Shan
You talked a lot about MGS, so I thought I’d take a closer look at his character separately. You made some interesting points I’ve also been thinking about and was glad they popped up in your ask.
Since we’ve talked about toxic masculinity so far, let’s continue on that. You mentioned that MGS is prone to homophobia because he’s had to act tough. Upholding a certain kind of image is essential in gangs. Being weak and submissive - aka gay, as I talked about above - isn’t an option in that line of work.
I agree with you on all of that. Why MGS is so uncomfortable with HT being physical with him is at least partly because he can’t come across as someone who can be taken advantage of (ch. 250):
Tumblr media
If he can be physically overpowered and made vulnerable, it means he can be submitted. In the masculine world, physical strength seems to be the final and ultimate law that settles all the disputes at the latest. And if you lose in that you’re on the bottom or at least lower on the hierarchy. Now, multiply that mentality by a lot to fit it in the world of teenage gangs and the borderline criminal underworld. So, yes, I would most definitely say MGS doesn’t want himself to be put in that situation. Much less anyone finding out about it.
Then again, the story has kind of revisited that idea when HT “joined” MGS’s gang and his underlings started seeing HT around more. And they seem somewhere between intimidated by HT and impressed their boss has managed to make someone like HT call him “brother”. That fits the same mentality of strength, but I can’t honestly see Buzzcut or other members of the gang giving MGS a hard time even if they found out about HT’s affections. Chances are, they would be even more impressed, bless them.
Overall, I think MGS lashing out (or being homophobic) is mostly due to him not trusting HT and HT slowly but surely wearing him out and making him see his own prejudice against people like HT. Yelling out insults has been the easiest way to fight HT’s affections, although it’s not proven very successful. It’s also important to remember MGS is fairly inexperienced when it comes to love and romantic affection (ch. 222):
Tumblr media
He’s always been rejected and discriminated by his peers and over the years, he’s started to mirror that behavior and push people away. Having crushes (let alone having a girlfriend) has never really been a concern for him. And it’s not like he’s had time for something like romance anyway because working has taken so much of his time. In this regard, MGS isn’t that mature or experienced and tends to get uncomfortable and lash out very quickly.
I’ve already talked about the note and what kind of role I think it will have (if it will be addressed at all). And I’m not really worried about MGS saying something homophobic to HT. I think we’re way past of him being like “I don’t speak to a homo” at this point already. He’s been aware of HT’s affections for a good while by now and even tentatively warmed up to some of it (for example, the aquarium date and the studs). (Even though, I think it’s still too early to talk about MGS being in love with HT.)
MGS has come a long way, and I might even say he’s gained some sexuality-related maturity on the way. Slowly but surely, he’s become comfortable with having HT around, and if after all this development he would say something like that, it would be a pretty big step backward. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t throw insults and lash out but let’s not forget we’re talking about a purebred tsundere here. That’s always going to happen with him.
And while we’re keeping it real, it’s not like HT would pay any mind to those insults. After MGS asked for the studs, I think HT’s resolve has only strengthened.
I hope this answer makes some sense, to me it feels like a bit of a mess of this and that. A lof of “I can’t deny that but still...” You really threw some hard questions and challenged my thinking a lot. Thank you!
188 notes · View notes