#so i’m really excited abt what we can do w it this year!! we’ve got a welcome bbq coming up on the 7th w the other euro societies so i’m
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hi!! crush anon here and i recently got a heart locket necklace and decided to fill it w/ dried flowers from a bouquet my friend gave me and i got super soft thinking abt what if dylan got you something like that as a gift but the flowers were from like y’all’s first date or something omg 😳🥰🥺
dylan’s used to being on the outside, it’s pretty clear especially with him being from yukon. this is totally something he’d be into. this is such a simple gesture but so significant and beautiful! just like he is. i love it! and now i want it 🥺
and as this is probably one of my favourite asks i’ve gotten so far, i decided to turn it into a blurb! i changed it a little bit so it can fit more into my idea! hope you like it ✨ it’s small but it’s dylan day and i really wanted to do something special to mark it. it’s not proofread so i’m sorry in advance 🥴
Something is about to happen and you just know it. Your boyfriend has been acting all weird for days, ever since you two got to Whitehorse but you’ve been playing it cool because 1. Dylan is terrible at keeping secrets and will eventually spill it ou; 2. you don’t want to ruin whatever he’s planning by asking what’s going on. But it’s been almost a week and you’re starting to worry about it. Does he regret bringing you here? No, if he did he’d be treating you badly... Right? I mean, he hasn’t exactly changed his attitude, he just seams nervous.
As you’re debating, Dylan enters the room you’re sharing and smiles. You’re laying on the bed with a book in your hands, even if you’re not concentrated at all.
“Hello, beautiful” he says as he approaches the bed “Put some hiking clothes on, we’re going out”
“Where?” you’re really confused at the moment. You’ve been doing a lot of outdoor activities with his brothers and dad but hiking has not been on the list.
“It’s a surprise!” Dylan says and goes to his wardrobe to get his clothes.
“Are the boys coming with us?” you ask as you get up and start getting ready.
“Nope, just you and I” he answers and you leave the subject.
You’re not a big fan of hikes and Dylan knows this but you’ve been dying to see what Whitehorse has to show. You’ve been to lakes and parks, and it’s a beautiful place.
As you two are ready, Dylan grabs a backpack from the kitchen counter and you two leave the house. It takes about 20 minutes to get to the right place and the hike seems tough.
“Hmm, Dyl... I don’t want to ruin the party but I don’t like the looks of it” you say staring at the inclination in front of you. There are two families around you two but far enough so you all can enjoy the privacy.
“Babe, c’mon. You can do it! I’ll be right here. You’ll see it’s not as bad as it looks once you start and we can always stop if you want” he says with a smile and kisses your forehead “But I promise the view from up there will make it all worth it”
You decide to give it a try and, even tho it was as hard as you thought it would be, he was right. The view is incredible and you feel great for accomplishing the hike.
“It’s beautiful” you say with a smile.
“I told ya’”
You two take in the view for a few moments before Dylan opens his backpack, getting your attention.
“What are you up to?” you ask but he doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he pulls a small box from the back pocket of the bag and your heart stops for a few seconds before you realize it’s too big to be a ring.
“I don’t know if you keep track of this kind of stuff but it’s been a year since we went out for the first time” he says with a shy smile “I remember you were wearing a summer dress with flowers printed all over it so I decided to get you a small bouquet”
“You did. I think I fell in love with you at that moment” you say with a smile and Dylan blushes a little, laughing.
“I was so nervous. And I felt the same. I knew you were the one in that same day, even though I was really scared to admit that” your boyfriend says and looks down at the box “The thing is, you gave me a flower from that bouquet when I took you home and when I tried to deny it, you said...”
“You can give it back to me in a year when we go on our 30th date” you say it with him and you two laugh.
“It’s a very specific number and I’m a big fan of math so I had to do it. I somehow managed to keep you for a year and we’ve had exactly 30 official dates” he says with a huge smile and you feel your eyes burning because you can’t actually believe he remembered all this “The 30 dates part was kinda easy with my job but keeping you... I’m surprised”
“Why?”
“Because you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed about and way too good for me. And I screwed up a few times but you never left. Even with the long road trips and me being away for a lot of time, not being able to take you on proper dates, you stayed. I love you. More than I ever thought I’d ever love anyone. And that promise I made a year ago...” Dylan answers and opens the little box, where a pendant with a little flower inside is resting “Is only the first that I made and the first I have fulfilled”
“Dylan!” you say in complete shock and he smiles.
“The next one I’ll make is: in three years, we’ll be back here and instead of a pendant, I’ll be giving you a ring”
You look at your boyfriend, the most beautiful and amazing man you’ve ever met, and your heart is filled with all the best feelings one can feel. Love, joy, excitement... You love him with your entire being.
“And I’ll be right here to say yes when you do”
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Just hopping on the anons last week who said they'd done reading around BPD and Ben etc after reading your posts to say... when Whitney told Ben he makes everything about himself in this week's eps I immediately thought of you! Like lemme explain lmao I remember last year you wrote about how lots of fans said Ben was making everything about him when him and Callum had that argument about the warehouse job in Sept.? And you wrote about how you viewed it and how looking at Ben through a lense of mh goes a different interpretation etc. Idk Whitney saying that just made me recall your thoughts on the fandom saying the same thing lmao.
(although tbh I didn't think Whitney was v fair saying that anyway bc how was he meant to know Callum had witnessed a stabbing etc?? He wasn't making it about himself he was simply worrying about the info he had access to???)
no joke i literally thought the exact same thing after i watched it yesterday. not the post (tho i do remember what you're talking about!) but i was like 'oh ben's behaviour is VERY bpd' like probably the most obvious example we've had since 2019 maybe and then i was like man.... how many people are going to have Bad Takes abt ben's behaviour and how he's 'selfish' and then i was thinking abt what whit said and it reminded me of something i heard once and i've tried to find it but i can't and i'm gutted bc it made so much sense but it was abt how bpd are often viewed as selfish or making everything abt us but we do that bc we literally feel like everything IS because of us/our fault. it's literally a Symptom. like when you're hypersensitive and terrified of everyone abandoning you EVERYTHING feels personal.
like someone's in a bad mood? clearly i have done something to put them in a bad mood. someone doesn't reply? clearly they hate me. you smile at someone in public and they don't smile back? clearly they can sense something is Wrong with me and didn't want to engage. either that or they think i'm hideously ugly. that's the default assumption, that it's somehow something to do with me. not that they're going thru their own shit or that they're busy or tired. and then when we're talking abt someone you're close too, the fear of abandonment comes into play where you either start to push them away bc you're convinced they're gonna leave anyway or frantically do things or change things to help convince them to stay, and both of these can go very extreme. and ofc it's not logical but we can't help it. i'm always saying this to people in my life: i know how i'm feeling/what i'm doing isn't logical and it doesn't make sense, but i literally can't help it. it's like the sensible you is locked in the back of your brain forced to witness all of your own bs but they're literally powerless to do anything about it.
which is also why i can understand under the hysteria of your own fear of abandonment and hypersensitivity why ben could convince himself callum was gonna leave him for whitney. like ofc i get why ppl would find that unrealistic and offensive, but i can't NOT see him as bpd, and when you have bpd that fear of abandonment is so so incredibly pervasive that you start thinking things like that and convince yourself that they're real. like you genuinely believe them. and someone of sound mind is like 'that doesn't make any sense, he's gay' but like.... that almost is irrelevant to a certain degree. your own belief that you're so unlovable and that everyone is going to leave you holds SO much weight in your mind, more than even reality itself.
like you could almost compare it to hallucination. reality and logic dictates that it's impossible for there to be a man crawling on the ceiling, but if you can see it and hear it and feel it then ofc you're going to believe it's real. reality and logic become irrelevant bc you KNOW it's there, even though it isn't, u know? it's the same kind of thing: reality says ofc callum isn't gonna propose to whitney when he's married and literally gay, but that all-consuming fear of abandonment is so much louder when it says 'he's lying, he's sneaking around w his ex, he's not talking to you about anything, he's got a ring, ofc he's gonna propose to her, she didn't ask him to quit his job or force him into a position where he had to lie for months, ofc he was gonna leave, he just married you out of pity, this is all your fault, you don't deserve happiness or love bc you're a bad person lmao what did you even expect?' etc u know
if i'm being completely honest if i were in ben's shoes i could EASILY see myself being convinced my gay partner is gonna leave me for their ex of the opposite sex. like worryingly easily. and tbh between that and what was going on with kheerat, i actually think he coped surprisingly well. like i genuinely thought that yesterday that if i was in his situation i probably would have reacted much worse and been in much worse a state than he was. and i'm not just saying that, i think his growth since 2019 is obvious in how tame his reaction to it all was tbh.
i realize probably no one will bother but if anyone really is interested and wants to understand more then u should watch this video. i've timestamped it at the first point bc if nothing else u should listen to that bc it helps explain what i've said in a much better way esp the example abt clearing out the garage but the whole video is really good and i would love for some ppl to watch it. like i know it's half hour and that's a long time and also the interviewer is obnoxious and p insensitive but the doctor herself is really good and explains everything i've been trying to explain in a MUCH better way than i ever could and i think it will really help you understand what it's like to be someone bpd and what it actually means for day to day life
like i realize i've completely gone off on one w this and im sorry but i have opinions and i just want people to understand you know?? not necessarily for ben as a character but for all the ppl out there w bpd bc !!!! no one gives a fuck abt us they just misunderstand us and then do literally nothing to try and understand us when we try to explain ourselves so to have ppl actually engaging in this dialogue w me makes me very excited and i try to explain as much as i can while i have the opportunity u know lmao so i very much appreciate you and getting messages like this thank you 💞💞💞
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SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!
thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33
!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫
I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)
after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)
so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.
another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)
I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.
as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.
another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.
OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.
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OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺
like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.
he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.
#just if anyones curious yes I am also autistic#I know I mentioned tht in th response itself but U Know!#saw#adam#lawrence#eric#mallick#asks#god I love getting asks frm u u Understand me#tysm!!!! I appreciate it a whole lot things have been sort of rough#oh another note I kind of write adam at least w a lot of my mannerisms/experiences#it's what I know lol
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so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO
listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.
but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters
(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)
the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.
ANYWAY.
@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”
(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)
(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)
i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”
so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.
she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.
melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.
so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.
eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.
so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —
@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”
i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me
gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)
she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).
gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”
(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)
gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.
it’s fckin wild.
these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.
i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.
sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.
i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —
they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.
and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.
#i just love them whoops my hand slipped#the majnificent adventures#gus tag#@ melissa wtf is our tag we had like five#how do i not remember five things#anyway i got into my feelings tnt don’t @ me
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bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!
happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)
@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!!
@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!!
@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3
@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3
@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)
@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)
@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;
@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok
@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!
@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally’ forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)
@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!
@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3
#happy new year everyone i love you all;;;; thank you again!! hope 2021 treats you all nicely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#there's like a few mutuals i rlly do appreciate but didn't really have much to say to/abt because we haven't really . talked#i really do love all of you though!!!!!!!!!!;;;;;
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i am,, an actor,,, everything is a performance. this is a vent and it. got very long? anyway
i keep forgetting that i'm in a relationship slkjdflksdjlkfjdsf which is shitty but. i dunno. i haven't really told many people or made a big deal out of it and,, i kinda. regret? maybe? getting into it? it's not BAD it's just. boring?
no offense to them but i just. am bored. and they're like.. hm. like, they would be in the high school friend group adjacent to mine, if we were in high school together? in the sense that i. don't vibe w their specific personality type, if that makes sense? idk how to explain this hmmmm
i'm a quiet person generally, but that also comes with the idea that when i talk, people do hear me. or, i'm very very chatty, and i end up with a lively conversation. but it's like...... half the time i don't think they've heard me at all. or like, they aren't really listening? i'll say something and then they're on to a different topic entirely, which. is annoying.
and it's not even in the way that ADHD brain goes ZOOM, it's genuinely like. what.
and, again, no offense to them but i am just. bored. we don't talk about mutual interests very much, or if we do, they are pretty stubborn in their opinions? and it's not like we're getting Excited Together about the thing. our shared interests will come up and it's just a passing comment or something.
i keep forgetting that we're supposed to be in a relationship.
AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABT IT RN EITHER FOR A VARIETY OF REASONS
1. it's their birthday month and i am not that cruel
(1a) they mentioned that april is a depressive time for them bc they've had a lot of people leave their life in various aprils through the years, and a traumatic incident happened to them in april, so it's a hard time for them. i KNOW i shouldn't guilt trip myself over this, but like. it would be a dick move to ditch now, after they've admitted this fear of theirs
(1b) they have also told me that, alongside this april-induced fear of abandonment, they specifically are afraid of me getting bored of them. FUCK--
2. they're getting a new job which means they might be able to visit me soon
(2a) i am tempted to wait until after we've met up irl BECAUSE that'll be kinda like. when i'm for sure "yes i have enough feelings for this to continue" or "no apparently i don't have enough feelings for this to continue"
(2b) yes it's a long distance relationship, which isn't actually a big deal to me, i'm okay with that!! we're adults and having a ldr isn't my issue with it.
it's such a coin toss on if i'm going to like. feel desire to hang out, too. bc i really truly do enjoy their company! i want them in my life in some capacity! but. like. as friends, i think? 60% of the time? 75% of the time?
we have super great chemistry sometimes!! like, i def do understand why i agreed to be in a relationship with them.
it's just. in between those times, i'm. ugh. i feel like i have more interesting interactions + more chemistry with my friends than i do with them. OTL
i guess we just. go with it. it's certainly not a BAD situation. primarily, i feel guilt whenever i experience attraction to anyone else and i feel bored with the relationship and sometimes, to be completely honest, i dread phone calls and long conversations. my attention is elsewhere 80% of the time.
and that makes me such a shitty partner, i know!! like, jack, if you don't have feelings then just break up!!
but i DO have feelings for them sometimes! and i don't wanna be that douchebag who's like, "hey we should break up" *two weeks later* "baby i miss u so bad i want u back" (and, part of me thinks that. if i break up with them, i'll hate myself, bc then i'll want them More)
it's just. a pendulum. and i'm tired and i'm BOREDDDD.
"you should communicate your feelings" RIGHT YES OKAY HOW.
hey, so, i know april is a terrible month for you, and your birthday is coming up, and you have this fear of people getting bored of you, and you've been planning on flying halfway across the country to visit me, and you've told me already that you're kind of in love with me, but...
LIKE HOW SHITTY CAN I BEEEEEEEEEEE
i do like them. i like them a lot. i do! i'm. hm.
conflicted.
i'm just gonna leave things be. it's fun to have a partner, on the good days. we do cute shit together, which is lovely. and like. seeing things and thinking of them, sharing cute stuff with each other, having someone to just... know is mine and likes me that much and ??
UGH. ugh ugh ugh ugh.
"if you're having these thoughts then maybe you should just break up with them" BUT IN LIKE 24 HOURS I'LL BE CRAVING THEIR ATTENTION AND AFFECTION--
in the long run, yes, it would be better for me to break it off, bc i'm. i'm not,,, suuuuuuuuuuuuuper emotionally invested? i am! but i'm not. but ALSO there's. no harm. in keeping it going? because i AM to a degree emotionally invested, and i DO like them a lot, and things ARE pretty good.
i just. i knew this would happen, bc my attraction to people ALWAYS only lasts for like 2-3 weeks? we've been dating for like, a month and a half or so now. and i Can Tell, i guess.
i dunno. i dunno i dunno i dunno.
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hi how are u :D any thoughts to share
im doing pretty okay :) and yes a few my brain is always full with stuff OR nothing at all theres no in between so get reaaaaaaddyy :D
I bought moldavite and i have it for two days now ik thats like nothing its only two days right but tbh i dont feel that much and was disappointed but its only two daaays also i really do think my life's on its way to be turnt upside down like i cant explain how i know but i mean it in a good way i feel like the coming few years are going go be so transformational. Why am i (are we) not able to see or meet aliens? i would LOVE to meet a kind nice friendly benevolent alien!!! How did humanity's "intelligence" get so far to the point of it being self destructive? isn't it weird like we came from lil fish in the sea.. to blabla... to blabla.. to homo sapiens... we became so intelligent that we invented all this stuff like technology and all that and yet we NEVER learn from history, ALWAYS repeat the same mistakes and are literally KILLING the earth and other people like isn't that crazy we've become so far... just to be our own destruction thats absolutely bonkers... Why am i so awkward around thid guy from work sure i may have a teeny tiny crush on him but damn get ur shit together right lmao.. WHY is it that when i mention it's been a while since i've smoked weed people offer to go to their place and i can have some but like.. no i want weed either for myself or for me and my friends like why do people suggest that i can come over if i want i barely know u, we are just colleagues why would i wanna get high w u idk u like that... also ur double my age you weird ass man why are u even offering. More importantly why isnt my CRUSH offering... sad... i miss weed, i miss hanging out w friends, i miss being extra w makeup and outfits, i truly hope corona wont be too bad next fall bc i got big ass travel plans (im so excited abt this wtf!!!!) and i really hope i can actually go to the countries i want.... it's literally my dream. Why is banana and chocolate such a good combo? Cote d'or is the BEST chocolate ever oh my GOD it's superior. Brooklyn 99 is so funny and so good. I say i dont have a phone/social media addiction but im literally on it the entire ffin day and it's keeping me from being productive. I hate when people talk abt body positivity but then make fat people feel guilty abt wanting to lose weight or actually losing weight. I want someone to *** ** *** so bad i've been so ***** ******. I should rly start attack on titan it looks really cool, i should finish kakegurui first tho. I really wonder if someone, anyone ever had a crush on me like literally aaaaanyone?? I cant wait to go TRAVEL NEXT YEAAAAAR. Why is my best friend so fucking bad at texting... like tbh some ppl are so ffin dry over text and they always always say "yeah lmao im rly bad at texting" like bitch wym how?????? u got all the emojis and u know popular vine/tiktok memes so???????? use them????? I would love some red wine rn. I love music, but i rly don't get how like.. earbuds work i truly dont like wym the music is transfered through little wires like how like what even is music? is it also made out of 0s and 1s i truly dont get it ALSO what the FUCK is wifi and other wireless tech? like how does that WORK??? i'm like starting to think we got the whole technology thing from aliens. People who don't believe that there's other life out there are so weird.. u cant possibly start to imagine how big this galaxy is let alone th universe and u dont think there's any other life out there?? dumb. omggg i. love. any. potato. dish. yuuuuuum!! I miss Gina in b99. I have quite a few mutuals on here that i've been following for YEARS i wish i could send them all a hug. I simply don't get how you could be okay with being such a shitty person that ur a BILLIONAIRE but u dont give to others.... i wonder why people even WANT to have so much money like... up to a certain extent sure like i do believe money Can make up happy but at a certain point u already have everything u want so literally why not.. save people from dying on the streets like this is so weird. I loveeeeee this tomato-basil bread i once made i cant forget it it tasted like... pizza bread omg yum
#there's a limit to how long a post can be now??? idgi why#im thinking zbt so much more#ask#how are u!!!!
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[drumming] BEAST WARRRS
wow, me and ruth watching MORE transformers stuff?? its more likely than you think
sooo yeah we started watching beast wars. which seems like the logical next step after reading the comics and watching tfa, tfp, (some of) g1, cyberverse, even the live action movies back in the day...
however ruth and I have always ruthlessly bullied beast wars bc of how outdated the cgi looks, stating that no matter how good everyone says it is, we can never watch it bc its so ugly
we watched a couple clips, even, including the fight scene from ep2 which is SO funny I'm sorry and we were like ‘yea we cant watch this lol’ BUT LO AND BEHOLD...HERE WE ARE....
so yah this was probably inevitable but yea, ill probably write a few of these post just giving my scattered thoughts
so! so far we’ve watched like 8 eps and I gotta say....I like it a lot so far
as ruth says, ‘it feels like an actual show’ (as opposed to g1 which imo feels more like an extended-toy-commercial-slash-acid-trip)
like, even in the first couple eps, its clear there's actual plot and characters
the bad cgi is admittedly distracting at time, similar to the animation errors in g1
in terms of the plot, I find it to be really interesting - I like the explanations for the beast forms w/the energon making their robot forms short out
the premise is like, so wild to me, in a meta sense - like, this was basically the followup to g1 (ignoring g2, and all the japanese stuff like headmasters and victory), and its SO wildly different than g1 - premise-wise, beast wars feels like something you'd get 20 years down the line in the franchise when they're trying to go at the source material from a new, fresh angle
instead its the follow-up to g1, bc I guess being able to sell toys that transform into animals rather than cars is a good market
oh man is this show 90s. like, it came out in ‘96, so obviously its gonna be 90s, but sometimes it just slaps you in the face w/it
like...the music. lmao like the guitar riffs that play sometimes are so hilariously 90s that I feel myself regressing into an infant (the state I was in irl during the 90s)
plus the dialogue...like half of what cheetor says is just. so very 90s. like Cool Epic Teenz 90s sometimes, which is hilarious and out of date now
speaking of cheetor I love my boy. I already love him from cyberverse but this is og cheetor and I love him here too. he;s just a great kid appeal yellow character and I luv him. he has freckles that's soooo cuteee my boiiii
as for the characters in general...I like how they all have pretty solid characterizations but also undergo character development. and I like how we don't get all too much exposition about them/their backstories so we get to learn things as we go along
optimus primal is cool, and interesting when compared to other optimuses (optimii?)...he seems like a Leader™, but he’s kinda frustrated/done with this shit, especially compared to like, g1 op, who was very patient, and tfa op, who felt very young. this op feels very experienced but also doesn't always wanna be here
who else is there...rhinox! he is great, he seems like the only one w/a brain cell. he seems v levelheaded and cool, I like him a lot. he hasn't gotten much spotlight but I'm interested to see what he’ll do. I like his voice
rattrap omg...ruth hates him bc he’s annoying which, fair, but I like him bc he’s hilarious. he’s a rat from new jersey, and joisey rats are just Like That okay
dinobot...omg...I love him. he’s just dramatic and gay. and also a dinosaur. I think its cool that he has a SWORD bc everyone else has guns (kinda boring), and also he has laser eyes. he is cool and interesting and also he and optimus are dating tyvm
as for the predacons...beast wars megatron oh my goddd....I love him so much he’s SO entertaining lmao...yesssssss....he’s so Shakespearian? idek how else to describe it. he’s very eloquent and he really feels like a high-class play actor who could also rip your face off if he wanted to. he says ‘yessssss’ SO much its so funny. he’s very like, over the top and kinda hammy, but in a completely different way than g1 megs, who could be described similarly but is a very different vibe
bw megatron is basically the polar opposite of tfp megatron
as for the rest of the predacons, we haven't gotten as much character stuff for them but I'm interested in them for sure
tarantulas.....I wanna see more of him, he’s just so entertaining to me idk. gay little spider man
scorponok omfg he’s such a loser in this hvbajkdsfbwkhdsf I cant get over how completely lame and unthreatening he is lmaoooo he’s such a lil bitch. I could cough on him and he’d explode probably. hilarious
terrorsaur is like the starscream of this show from what I can tell so far since he’s already tried to take over the predacons twice. ruth and I hate the weird bird dinosaur noises he makes. actually we hate when any of the characters make animal noises honestly hbvkjdnsfaksl
waspinator sure is here. he hasn't done much but he’s definitely present! and makes some weird terrible bug noises
blackarachnia just got here and then immediately left, which is hilarious. she saw everyone fighting and was like ‘actually fuck this’ and bounced, which is super valid
ok I gotta talk abt the animation again vhbahkjsdfhbkjsf its...really painful...I mean it looks great for being 1996, but since its cgi it does NOT hold up at all (compared to 2d animation, which tends to hold up better - tho low-budget stuff like g1 doesn't hold up great, but it looks bad in a much different way than bad old cgi does)
like, I mentioned it above but that fight scene in ep2...there are just so many moments that weren't supposed to be funny but were hilarious due to the animation. like when the two sides run at each other and clash, when they hit each other half of them just fly offscreen like plastic toys vbahsudfbajskdf its SO visually hilarious I rewound it to watch it again lmao
also anytime they do closeups I cringe so hard, especially on optimus, he just looks so plastic...in general the beast modes looks pretty janky, like cheetors limbs (mostly around the shoulders/hips) look weird af...I feel like rattraps beast mode looks the least wack. beast mode tarantulas also looks weird as hell but I think that's partially bc his colors are so garish lmao
I'm soooo excited to see the stuff that connects beast wars to g1, I know a few things about how its connected thanks to my reading of the g1 tfwiki pages, and I cant wait to see it all unfold
I'm really not spoiled for much, surprisingly...I might know a couple character deaths, and a few other things, but for the most part I have no clue what's going to happen which is really cool actually. I'm excited to see things!!!
#this is a few days old but ive been too lazy to post it lmao#lets see i gotta have a tag for this#lj and ruth watch beast wars#there we go. to match the g1 watch tag#transformers#beast wars
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 18
IN THIS EPISODE OF ROBLOX OOF NOISE:
“Yes.” Glynda couldn’t hang up, not without: “I’m—I’m sorry. About what I—”
“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay—” The feed cut. Softly, Glynda said again, “Okay.”
GLYNDA DISCOVERS WHY BEING CINDER FALL SUCKS
do u know how hard it is to wake up and play animal crossing whilst knowing this chapter looms over yr shoulder,
OKAY HERE WE GO
She was fidgety; even Cinder mentioned her pacing, shooting a critical eye her way. Glynda sat, intent on stillness; moments later, Cinder mentioned her bouncing leg.
i LOVE it when a chapter calls me out just right out of the gate hahaha who gave u the right
"Really?" How long had they been doing that? How long ago had Cinder noticed? "Should I stay?"
cinder: maybe i should tell glynda abt that
/see glynda pacing a dent into the floor
cinder: ooooooor i could. NOT give her an excuse to bully them for something to do,
On her way down the street, Glynda couldn't help but stare at the car, its tinted windows revealing nothing within. As she passed it, she kept glancing over her shoulder, expecting an attack or something. But nothing came of it.
HJGDFSGSDFHKGHJDF GLYNDA,,,,,,,,,,, can u imagine being in the white fang, and sittin in yr fuckin. TINTED WINDOWED like BULLETPROOF CAR and yr sat on yr ass watching out for cinder “dumbass” fall and suddenly glynda goodwitch, The Top Bitch, comes out and starts GLARING YR CAR DOWN,,, like ah. i think she knows we’re here. hrm. hm.
i would just like. drive to mcdonalds and get some nuggies at that point.
She had a clutch of flash-images and a wash of emotions and impressions, the raw materials of memory, stored as-is without refining. She was quite used to that—most of her missions were hazy and rough in her memory, mere sketches of events.
i cant wait for glynda to become a vlogger if only so she can actually have physical proof of whatever the fuck happens whenever she goes out and about. get her a go-pro.
It told her: despite her restlessness, despite the arduous journey here, and despite the way Vale seemed to call for her from somewhere beyond the horizon, she felt quite content to be where she was.
the difference having a gf has huh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, u got a whole ass home (being cased by the fang) a real nice city to live in (its floating and atlas wants yr number) a bunch of unread msgs (from a [redacted] who [redacted]) and its a nice day!!! its all coming together. but probably not for very long,
(i got very distracted at this point making a line graph for the animal crossing stalk market so here we go, x2 edition,)
That meant the nightlife would soon begin. She had never liked crowds; too many people, too much input at once. It was hard to focus, to be comfortable.
/chefs kiss
autistic glynda did u kno: id die for u,
Since she’d blocked Ozpin’s number, there was no chance of receiving anything directly from him—but there was still a moment of pause each time she checked her Scroll, as if expecting his smiling face to appear somehow.
OH YEAH LMAO SHE DID THAT SHIT HUH,,,,,,,,,, i still cannot BELIEVE that happened. GOD. cant wait for this to bite her entire ass right off her body,
By the time she reached the top landing, Winter had replied: “I wasn’t aware that you had additional support on this mission, Professor. I will need their full name and Hunter’s license number.”
To answer Cinder Fall and she doesn’t have a license, but she does have several warrants for her arrest felt like inviting Winter to question not only her integrity, but her sanity as well.
SDHGJFKSKGHDJFGJHDKF i cant say what makes this funnier because 👈😎👈 but HOHOHOHOOOOO could u imagine the fallout if she did just, say that shit. if we just went and fuckin said it like it was no biggie--
Finally, Glynda let her shoulders relax, exhaling deeply, like she would before rushing a Grimm. She wrote it plainly: “The clearance is for Cinder Fall.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MA’AM WHAT THE F U C K
winter rn:
She’d just have to wriggle her way out of having to talk face-to-face, then return the game to a field she felt slightly more comfortable with: text.
okay this is so funny to me cause i just keep thinking of her sending ‘no reason’ to oz. a MASTER of textual conversion. un fucking PARALLELED in this field, UNRIVALLED,
Glynda tossed a look at the door as well, her mouth pulling into a line; what if Cinder came outside? What if—
Could Winter track her exact position using her Scroll signal? She minimized the projection of Winter’s face and hurried off in a random direction the instant she hit the bottom of the stairs.
i LOVE these two because this is the first time we’ve rly seen glynda like. Actively do smthng to defend cinder in this sort of way? she’s been pretty passivve abt letting cinder take the lead when theyre together but on her own shes thinking of all the contingencies to make sure winter cant find cinder and u know what. thats gay. what will u do for yr not-gf when yr talking to someone who would kick her ass in a hot second,
also im TAKING to grab choice lines here to comment upon but honestly this next section is SO GOOD that im rly struggling to find a line to encapsulate how much i am LOVING this convo. i cant say exactly WHY im loving it because again thats 👈😎👈 BUT KNOW THAT THIS IS VERY GOOD FOOD AND I AM ENJOYING IT. and im also enjoying this line a lot
Winter’s voice was decisive: “Professor, if you hang up on me, I am flying to your location—tonight.”
winter: if y’all dont shut the fuck up back there i am turning this car, city, and continent AROUND,
It was the same thing, over and over: people didn’t understand her and she didn’t understand them. It was an exercise in futility that only gave her grief. In the end, she gave up on trying to explain herself. She resigned to being wrong, to always being wrong, even when she knew she wasn’t.
OOF OKAY WHAT THE HELL IS UP W/ THIS FIC AND CALLOUTS. HUH??? ME BITCH!!! I FEEL THAT!! AND IT SUCKS,
/reads the next bit
oh are we donning our tinfoil hats? we’re donning our tinfoil hats.
It was so easy. Glynda didn’t stumble over her words even once; didn’t waver. She was built for doing harm. Her anger burned hot and clean; it excised all the hurt like a malignant tumor.
Maybe she really had learned something from Cinder—channeling her frustration, her guilt, her pain, all of it into anger like this was something Glynda was new to. But it felt good. She leaned into it, letting it take the reins; the distressing memories vanished like wisps of smoke, vaporized by the heat of her wrath.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS god this is. SO EXCITING. i also love it when ppl rub off one one another its my FAV thing in the WORLD and this anger is. WOO. this anger is. DANDY. its also a very short-term burst of pleasure glynda so enjoy that hollowed-out whoopsie feeling that i sure get when i Blow Up,
“She butchered my friend!” Winter snarled, the camera shaking as she slapped the desk. “She butchered my friend in the streets like he was cattle! And I have done everything in my power to help you! Everything! To keep her from doing the same to you, and you’ve blown me off or lied or—” Winter’s voice snagged. “And now you tell me—you accuse me—”
It was early evening in Umbraroot, but it must already be night in Atlas. The shadows revealed the unclean angles of Winter’s face: the bruises of exhaustion under her eyes, the lines of stress at the corners of her mouth.
im sorry im just copy-pasting wholesale at this point but OH this is GOOD. i cant rly explain. like. the difference-- because you’d think from the og version this is just a bit more flavouring right? its like getting a bit of hot sauce on yr chicken wings and yr like ‘okay it adds smthng but its not like a side meal’ BUT IT IS A SIDE MEAL this is like a whole basket of fuckin. cheese-baked fries. winter DESERVES this screentime she DESERVES to have presence in this fic and OH does she USE IT im LIVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Glynda wanted anger. She wanted fire and brimstone. She wanted a fight.
What she got was the glisten of tears on pale lashes. A hand covering Winter’s trembling mouth.
The ashy taste of remorse in her throat.
THERES THAT HOLLOWED-OUT WHOOPSIE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IT IS RIGHT ON TIME. its like CLOCKWORK,
She didn’t have anything. Nothing against that. The possibility that Winter might truly care what happened to her had been so insignificantly small and easy to trample. She had forgotten about the losses Winter shouldered the moment Cinder had whispered inheritance.
it’s just like clockwork,
also this chapter feels lengthy but maybe its just cause i got distracted with animal crossing so ill have to do a wordcount check at the end
/checks
no its lengthy this is a thicc one,
“I know,” Glynda said. “I know. I know how this sounds. But she’s the only person who makes me feel like—like I make sense.” In her mind, Glynda lay in the darkness of Cinder’s bedroom, watching the glaze of streetlights along her lips as she said you.
you,,,,,,,,, we,,,,,,,,,,,, our,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its all that gay shit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Cinder Fall is a tremendous liar. She could convince you it is raining in Vacuo, given enough time. Two years ago, I was working on the Argus base, where I met her as a client; she told me she was a merchant seeking entrance into Atlas—she had all her documents in order, her entire persona set up, and she sold it perfectly. She was flawless—and all of it was fake. She gave me no reason to doubt her. She was—”
Winter cut herself off, abruptly. Then: “Once I was comfortable and safe, she burned down my office and murdered my friend.”
YES,,, SLOWLY THE LORE PIECES TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! winter is once bitten twice shy, but mayhaps we mean,,, once burnt,,,, twice shy,,,,,,,,,, hrmmmm,
Glynda told Winter everything.
OH MAN,,,, we’re really getting this messy fucking trio up in this bitch i am SO excited. i am THRILLED. here! we! go!!!!!!!!!! also i said it before but again im so glad winter gets to Be Here for this. sure this has nothing to do w/ her destiny or w/e but shes here now. shes in the uber. she waiting outside.
The dying potted plant Glynda had spotted last time on the back wall’s shelf had been replaced with a new one; this one’s leaves were beginning to shrivel at the ends.
dsfjhhkljsdf side note: is this like that scene in finding nemo where all the new fish see the niece and go ‘oh no we’re gonna die’ but instead its plants getting taken into winters office? they go ‘im sorry, mate, but once you go into her office, you come out TOTALLY dead,’
okay so this whole convo happened and if i try to pick one section ill end up picking it all AAAAAAAAAAAAAA im dying out here. WINTER BLEASE,,, BELIEVE THAT SOMETIMES CINDER CAN TELL A HALF-LIE. A SORTA-TRUTH. A SEMI-HEMI-DEMI HONESTY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
How different would that mission have gone? How different would her life have been?
She found herself saying, “He had so many chances to tell me. Instead, he let me think I was reckless. That I was a danger to other people. I stopped working in teams. I didn’t have many people in my life to begin with, but afterwards was worse. He saw to it that he was all I had, and he let me think it was my fault.”
ROBLOXOOFNOISEDISTORTEDWITHDELAY.MP4
OOF!!!!!!! O O F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly OOF that shit HURTS BITCH!!!!!!! thats BANANAS. WILD. im also loving (hating???) the increase of painful glynda lore and honestly everyone feels like they have So Much More that builds them up and im THRIVING off it. im also suffering for it.
With the video feed closed, Glynda could see she had new notifications. Missed calls. From Cinder.
Glynda’s stomach lurched. She stowed her Scroll before she could think about them.
At the mouth of the alley, she could see the shape of Cinder’s apartment in the distance. She stood there for a long time, staring, uncertain what to do with her hands, unsure what to do with her heart. Her jaw flexed. She remembered the tears on Winter’s lashes. The friend she’d lost.
Glynda took her first step toward the apartment.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so the soft domestic shit ends. but nowhere near as explosively as id thought???????? HUH. H U H. must b because we’re gearing up for smthng honk honk honk
ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. this chap was SO good its astonishing (despite the [several] times i got distracted by animal crossing rip me). WINTER!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe this disaster trio is coming together. also cant wait for glynda to tell cinder the shit she just pulled. oh no,
(also the wordcount was 5,931. just in case u were curious)
#liveblog#rwby#offal hunt#HERE IT IS#so much went unsaid because the convos were SO juicy so PLEASE read it#dfsghsdfjgh
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can you please tell us about what do you love about phil, i saw bunch of dan appreciation posts recently, i need those sweet little facts about phil as well
hoooo boy can i
so here’s a thing right some people have a tendency (less so lately but still) to say phil is childish? but like the interesting thing abt that is that i think people mistake things we typically associate with childhood (embracing imagination and creativity, excitement over little things, doing whatever and not really caring what other people think, wearing bright/fun clothes simply bc he can, eating lots of sugar, immense curiosity, etc etc etc) with being childish? the reality is that phil is a grown adult who chooses to not to take life too seriously, to indulge in his excitement and show off his weird creativity and just have fun with what he does and his life. and that’s actually sort of really wise? like it’s probably one of my fave things about phil, that - in most regards - he doesn’t seem to feel caged in by societal expectations or ‘being cool’ or w.e. he’s basically picassoing his life (x) and it’s really amazing? pun intended?
but like. beyond just that, it’s clear he understands when to take things more seriously (ie parts of his ‘i changed my emo hair’ vid and parts of ii) but the immense level of maturity he has is that he knows when to stop taking things too seriously? like i think the emo hair was perhaps one of the only things he held a lot of anxiety around and that he took far more seriously than he needed to
part of why i love phil’s like. childishness if you will (i don’t Like That but it’s shorter than re-explaining it every time) is bc he’s just such a grounding force? like for dan i imagine it’s helpful to keep him out of his head when phil straight up says random shit like how his aunt had a piercing in the space between her finger and thumb except maybe it was just a dream. but also like. phil has this very clear appreciation for the present? for things that are happening right now and things that exist in this moment? a cute dog, a plant, a fun jumper, etc etc like this isn’t even a proper list but you get the idea
the point is like. it can be super hard to have that level of groundedness, and it’s honestly inspiring in a way? like hey y’know what i know i’m having like. a rough day, but this is a super cool cactus so y’know maybe things aren’t so bad
the other thing i love and this sorta comes along with everything else is like. phil takes no bullshit? i’m sure y’all saw my post already (x) but honestly phil dragged someone for calling him ugly but also like? in the sense of bullshit? he takes none? if he doesn’t wanna talk abt something, he doesn’t, and if he does want to talk abt something, he does, and idk for all the hiding behind the AP brand and stuff i think this past year we’ve gotten a very Real phil? like i think that of both dnp but phil especially
like i get the feeling? he’s always been very vocal with his opinions w. dan? but now he’s finally open to expressing them to us? but like my point being i feel like he’s got strong convictions with things, in the sense that he really forms a sharp thought based on what he felt and then sticks with that. he’s also started doing that with mlm comments where he just says things without any indication he’s joking or ‘being ironic’ or any insincerity and it makes me super happy tbh
anyway phil’s a king and i love him
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plants, cry baby, and eyes!! 💓
plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them
i feel like i’ve answered this one before, but i would love to go stargazing with @gentleyeol - we’ve known each other for almost four (five?) years now and she lives so so so close to me but our hectic schedules make it so impossible to ever meet up :( i’d love to spend just a couple days with her bc i’m sure they would be the best days of my life
cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel
ohh this is a super interesting question!
130503 one direction ‘take me home’ tour in amsterdam - this was my very first concert ever, i was THE biggest one direction fan in 2013 (who wasn’t) and i absolutely bawled my eyes out when they first appeared on stage. trust me when i say 15 year old me is still crying about this
170806 megadeth, alice cooper and marilyn manson at the lokerse feesten in lokeren - so basically in early 2017, whilst also being a kpop fan, i was hugely into metal music and completely obsessed with metallica (kirk hammett is still my baby daddy okay) and when i saw the tickets for this metal day were only 50euros i called my friend and we agreed to go together and it was a wonderful evening (THE ALICE COOPER POINTED AT ME!!!!)
171129 ‘throwback thursday in het sportpladijs’ in antwerp - this concert was basically a celebration of 20 years of ketnet, which is a dutch children’s channel my generation grew up with, they invited all the singers from the children’s shows from the 2000s and the kids from eurosong for kids and i absolutely loved every single second of it because it brought me back to my childhood
180316 ‘harry styles live on tour’ in antwerp - ok SO i went to one direction’s concert in 2013 and this was the first time after i ever saw one of them back on stage and it gave me honest to god chills, the entire concert gave me such good vibes and i experienced it with some really good friends and we both cried when harry sang medicine, all in all 10/10 experience and i would definitely go to another concert of his
180430 niall horan ‘flicker’ world tour in brussels - CAN I JUST SAY I LOVE NIALL okay this entire evening was amazing, i study in brussels so it was easy for me to get to the venue and the vibe throughout the entire concert was hands down perfect, everybody was dancing to the upbeat songs and everybody cried during the slower songs, it was a one of a kind evening and i loved every single moment :(
180701 ed sheeran and anne marie at rock werchter in werchter - ok so there were a shit ton of people there to watch ed sheeran bc it was on a festival site and on a sunday so a lot of people could come, not to mention it was well above 30 degrees celsius that day and i sweated my ass off, BUT hearing him sing live was a gift in and of itself, his voice is truly something else and i knew the words to each and every song of his and i cried so hard when he started singing i see fire because i’m a huge tolkien fan and my friends thought i was v weird. and anne marie’s vocals were on point, girlie can sing like damn. also, getting home from werchter was total shit but the concert was 100% worth it.
181013 bts ‘love yourself’ world tour in amsterdam - here we are again at the ziggo dome, five years later. hands down my favorite. concert. ever. i remember waking up at ass o’clock in the morning because of nerves (trying not to wake the other ppl in the room bc my friend & i slept in a shitty hostel) so i spent the entire morning on twitter with major butterflies in my stomach because holy fucking shit after almost five years of stanning i was FINALLY GOING TO SEE BTS LIVE, so my friend woke up at 8:30 and then we got dressed and walked around the city center of amsterdam before getting breakfast at 10:30 and then we took the tram towards the ziggo dome and we were there by 12pm, which okay we had seated tickets so totally not necessary but anyways, we cringed a lot at v cringy armys, we saw a lot of armys with these cardboards that read “looking for tickets” and it nearly made me cry, walked around the interior design mall next door bc we had to kill time, went to the media markt and played a game and won a poster and a keychain, ate lunch in a place called booven, walked around some more before joining the queue at around 5:30pm. we were SO nervous. both of us talked w the armys in front and behind us, we made some friends, and then it was time for the security to check our tickets, we were both really scared that we wouldn’t be able to get in bc we both bought our tickets through resellers but everything went fine and once our bags were checked and we were really inside the venue we just started jumping around bc holy fucking shit it was gonna happen. it was really gonna happen fuuuck what the fuck okay. put our stuff in a locker and went to find our seats, went back to the hallways again to charge our phones, said goodbye abt 30mins before the concert started to go to our respective seats (not too far from each other luckily) and saw that there were like 7 front row seats still free. texted each other, “if 10mins before the show no one’s sitting there we will”, agreed and 10mins before the show moved to the front row. counted down. seven minutes. sang the songs. five minutes. screamed. two minutes. heart beating so wild. one minute. i’m about to fall out of my fucking chair. five. shaking. four. crying. three. about to die. two. screaming. one. music comes on and lights go down, i swear my heart stopped. everybody was screaming so loud and then suddenly they appeared on stage and it’s like the entire fucking universe has aligned bc my seven angels are RIGHT THERE i’ve never cried like that before i swear. the entire concert was just filled with so much love. them speaking dutch!!! them singing. them being them. me nearly fainting. it being so fucking hot inside the venue. the thrill of sharing that moment with thousands upon thousands of other armys. i just. miss it so much.
190301 a.c.e ‘to be an a.c.e’ world tour in brussels - i didn’t really know a.c.e all that well prior to the concert, i had heard of them and knew one of their songs cactus, so i researched and listened to most of their music and i was really impressed and the concert really helped to get me into them more bc they’re all so so so cute!! when i first started listening to their songs i liked byeongkwan best (he is now my bias) and during the concert, between their songs, i think donghun was talking and byeongkwan was looking in my general direction so i shoot him a finger heart and he saw and he smiled and HE SENT ME ONE BACK!!!! bro i legit died right. there. amazing concert, 11/10 would recommend
190601 bts ‘speak yourself’ world tour in london - no words. just. absolutely speechless. second time i saw bts, second time i was reduced to a crying mess. i love them. i love army. second best night of my life ever. dionysus live was amazing. i cried. yep. take me back. please
190616 eric nam in brussels - i don’t understand why i cry this much during concerts, i just do. eric was an absolute sweetheart. v funny. i had an amazing evening and would love to go to one of his concerts again!!
190907 seongri in brussels - ok so seongri is an idol who participated in produce 101 and is an ex-member of the group rainz which has disbanded, he is an absolute sweetheart and super tiny :( during the fansign i told him he was really pretty and he looked me straight in my eyes, took my hand and told me that i was more beautiful and i blushed super hard and almost fell off the stage. it was a real fun night! he has a great voice and wants to do a sexy concept in the future
upcoming concerts dreamcatcher & up10tion in brussels on 191005 and day6 in brussels on 200122 & halsey in antwerp on 200305, i’m super super excited for all of them!!
(none of the videos are mine)
eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?
@gentleyeol imagine going to korea together :(
aesthetic asks
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this was supposed to be a really quick post on a certain thing from the new video and, instead, it got really long and i don’t think it makes any sense
also might be an unpopular opinion so let’s see how this goes omfg
ngl once all the holiday excitement dwindles down, im gonna rewatch the new sanders sides video and Actually watch it (so probably tm night), but there has been something abt the new video that i’ve been sitting on today
and it’s that i felt really bad for virgil in it
like, to be blunt, as someone who has been the friend who isn’t taken seriously and who has been the butt of jokes before, it’s a really shitty feeling to not be taken seriously. it’s why i felt bad for logan in “moving on, part one,” because i felt for him. in that moment, that was when i realized that logan was My Dude and the side that i felt most connected with bc that was when i truly got logan, when i understood his need to be taken seriously and listened to, and also his confusion/inability to handle feelings like that.
and, watching the new video last night, i felt the same towards virgil
like, granted, i myself did not think virgil was scary, nor have i ever thought virgil was actually scary, but the sides, for a long time, found him, at the very least, concerning. and then, with “accepting anxiety,” that fear became acceptance but, over time, i think that acceptance became.... i don’t want to say “disregard,” bc that sounds really invalidating and harsh, but i guess sorta disregard??? and, like, with that video yesterday, virgil was trying to be scary. and, no, it’s not like it was out of malice, he just wanted to give the other sides a good scare w/ his blood and fangs and a knife
and, like, lbr, a year ago in sanders sides, virgil would’ve probably scared the living shit out of them (like how he literally wanted to)
but then he didn’t, and, now be liberal w/ me here bc i watched that video at like 12:30am, weren’t all the sides like “oh hi virgil” and (okay i just went back and watched the beginning to refresh myself) then roman was like “nope not scary like that” and logan went off on how virgil isn’t “doing his job” and patton was, altho trying to be encouraging... yes kinda patronizing, but i’ll get to that
and like idk, thomas said himself, “it’s good you’re not scary bc you’re part of the group!!!” which, idk, to me it sounded like, “you can’t be scary if you’re in the group.” which i guess was dealt with in the video but??? still is, ngl, kinda pretty invalidating. which, again, was dealt w/, so i digress
okay now ngl i right now as i type this at my kitchen table, am kinda hesitating to talk more abt this next point bc i have a feeling it’s probably an unpopular opinion and also i feel like i might be attacked if i “””speak against””” (using the terms loosely) this certain side but
i,,,, completely totally 110% get why virgil is kinda pushing back from patton???
like don’t get me wrong, i love patton and he has a special place in my heart, but i was, ngl, kinda happy to hear that the cute nicknames were gonna stop bc i had a feeling that was starting to grind virgil’s gears. and, w/ that, i guess we get into my actual point??? god this post is a mess im so sorry
basically, as someone who hasn’t been taken seriously before by people who mean the world to me, i completely get why virgil is sorta pushing back against patton, even if patton is trying to change his approach to virgil and also still be encouraging
one of the first moments that stood out to me is patton telling virgil to try and be scary again, virgil doing so, and an awkward silence passing over before patton forces himself to act scared. and, with that, virgil says to him, “put your pants back on, don’t patronize me”
like??? i felt that line. i felt it a lot. esp the “don’t patronize me” point. bc, honestly, virgil isn’t a child. he doesn’t need to be coddled. honestly, he probably would’ve rathered just been told “not scary” than have his best friend obviously overcompensate fear to placate him in a way that is kinda like a pity clap. i realize that wording might sound kinda harsh, but it’s kinda true. not like patton was actively trying to do that, it was just in his nature, but it still got on virgil’s nerves
and, yes, i feel bad for patton bc he’s trying his best, but i think i will always feel worse for virgil in this moment??? like idk if this is necessarily an unpopular opinion, but i’m gonna feel worse for the “injured party” than the one who did the “injuring” (using the terms loosely bc it’s not like patton is actively trying to piss off virgil)
and then another moment that stood out to me was when virgil was actually like, “patton, chill out!” or something like that. again, not rewatching the entire video, so idk exactly when it happens, but ik it happened bc i replayed virgil saying it one or two more times
and like...... okay i feel like we’ve been knew that idk where i’m going with this, but that’s another thing that i felt from virgil. like i can feel his frustration and his want to be taken seriously bc, as stated, it’s a lot like what i’ve felt w/ logan. and, as seen, his frustration was enough for him to be like, “patton, enough!” bc, honestly, to me, it seems like virgil just wants to be treated normally??? he wants to be treated like an equal friend and, w/ that, he doesn’t need compensation or pity. and, even if patton doesn’t mean for it to come off that way, it’s still how virgil is interpreting it. and i think he sees that patton’s trying, but it’s kinda like when he and roman were first fixing their friendship and roman would do 180 flips on his insults (”good at making virgil para-viGILANT!!! PARAVIGILANT!!!”)
like, i think what i’m trying to get at is......... if we were to break this down to it’s most oversimplified terms, im on virgil’s “””side””” in this one
and i think im thinking abt this so much bc i’ve seen a lot of posts almost like... looking past virgil in this??? which is shocking tbh bc, to be fair, so many of the logan/roman videos were interpreted to be abt virgil/patton and the moment there’s a virgil video, suddenly it becomes not abt virgil like, i’ve seen a lot of posts feeling bad for patton and thinking of the angst that can come from patton being told to chill out, and that isn’t bad!!! hell, i love patton, and i can see where people are coming from!!! this isn’t me bashing anyone!!!
but i do think it’s important to point out that, yes, patton might be struggling with the fact that he’s, well, struggling on how to work with his best friend in a way that is loving but also suitable for virgil, but virgil is the one who is the actual “injured party”? i use the term “injured” loosely bc, to me at least, it looked like virgil was more annoyed than anything but, again, speaking from experience, my own annoyance and aggravation eventually lead to me crying hysterically on one best friend and lashing out at another (all is well now tho so we good).
so i think what i’m trying to say overall is that, yes, i get where patton’s own confusion and such is coming from!!! it’s difficult to deviate from habits!!! but i think virgil’s part in this shouldn’t be overlooked. like, yes, patton has to learn how to adjust his type of love, which can be difficult, but virgil is the one who, frankly, seemed to feel kinda bad from it??? i mean, i can’t blame him, if i was called/treated like a child who needed coddling all the time, i would start to reach the end of my rope, too
this post got so away from me, im kinda hesitant to post it. basically, i really felt for virgil, im more concerned w/ how he’s doing, and i saw a lot of similarities between him and logan in that episode (even tho i wanted to tell logan to stop being a dick abt virgil not being able to “””do his job”””) (logan ily ur my fave side but u were a dick)
so, yeah, im really sorry if my shitty post made you lose braincells lmao, i kinda lost where i was going w/ this and just rambled
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best friends to lovers!lucas
request: ok ur SO FUNNY when i was reading ur hyunjin scenario i almost pissed my pants istg ur fckin hilarious !! and could you do like a best friends to lovers type trope with lucas from nct? love ur writing and please go nuts my guy <3 <3 - @nctro
word count: 3.7k
a/n: djfhgkhdj thank u sO MUCH everyone who compliments me on here makes me blush dhbfkhsbdk anywhom I actually enjoyed writing this so much mainly because I love big dumb boys and Lucas is one of those !!!! I hope u like it bby<3
warnings ?: cursing and brief mentions of underage drinking
okie doke babe
l e t s d i v e i n
let’s set the scene fellas
you’re in like the second grade right
boys are: disgusting and mean
but this is when you meet your bestie !!!!!
lucas was a new kid all the way from china and he was , the only boy you’d ever found cute
(i mean y’all have seen those baby pics oh my gOD HE WAS SO CUTE)
and when the teacher introduced him he was obviously a bubbly kid but none of the others in your class seemed to warm up to him
:((((
later when you all are at recess he keeps trying to join the boys but they won’t let him because as previously stated
THEYRE MEAN AND GROSS
he looks so so sad and lonely and you’re a Sweet Baby Girl so you go up to him and ask if he wants to play w/ u :)))
he’s so excited !!!! hooray !!!!!!!!!!
you guys play house and BAM
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
your friendship lasts all through elementary school !!
even in fourth grade when you guys were in different classes he would come find you at recess and your moms would arrange play dates :))))
middle school was,
middle school
we don’t talk abt that
all you need to know is that it was embarrassing
and yeehaw we’ve made it thotties aLL THE WAY TO SENIOR YEAR
let’s do a brief summary of 9th-11th grade
9th grade:
lucas is taller than you but only by a little and his voice breaks every other sentence
his ears are still too big for his body :(
you are a late bloomer and still look 12 but you’re , TRYING YOUR BEST
you guys have about half of your classes together but remain really close since you eat lunch together and hang out after school too
lucas attempts to join the basketball team
he . doesn’t make it and is v upset so you have to come over and comfort your Pitiful Man Baby
he cries a little and ouchie yOUR HEART hurts
but then he’s like u never saw that THOT
and so you are forced into silence rip
10th grade:
lucas FINALLY gets his permit halfway through the year because he fuckinh forgot to do it last year and you’re TERRIFIED but it’s fine
you’re starting to look more like a female and less like a fetus congrats !!!!!
lucas has now grown to almost 6 feet tall what the FUCK BRO
he grew at least 6 inches over the summer and you don’t really notice until one day you’re like uhhh excuse me since when are you half a foot taller than me
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
and this boy LORDS his height over you
purposefully places things where you can’t reach it so he can be like
*tips fedora* m’lady , are u in need of assistance
after this you have perfected the art of pinching his arm til he screeches
also his voice has gotten sooooo so so deep
like okay darth vader CHILL OUT
with all this height though he is even clumsier than before
it’s like he forgets he’s now a giant 15 yr old
he’s always covered in scratches and bruises so you’ve taken to carrying disney princess bandaids
they’re disney princess because you thought it would embarrass him and encourage him not to get hurt but
he loves them so it didn’t work rip
he tries out for the basketball team again and genuinely makes it based on height alone
i mean the boy can barely dribble but ??? he can learn i guess
he calls you when he makes it and screams for 45 seconds straight
you don’t know wtf goin on so you’re like oh mY GOD ARE U OKAY
and he’s like yES BITCH I MADE THE TEAM
and then you scream for 45 seconds
next time you see him in person you tackle him with a hug and he lifts you up and spins you around because wow !!!!! so happy !!!!
11th grade:
ah, yes
the year of PARTYING
you always go to parties together and switch who’s dd each time
eventually more friends start coming with you so that you can both get drunk tho ayy
but for the first couple times it’s either drunk lucas half draped on you as you drag him home or sober lucas carrying your lightweight ass to the car
he’s a real one so he won’t say anything about the time you were really drunk and got separated from him so you stood on a table and screamed his name til he came and snatched you down lmao
lucas has reached full height as well so he’s like, so much bigger than you
also he’s gotten so much better at basketball and is practically the star of the team
you go to every game and cheer as loud as you can bc that’s your BOY
puberty is Complete for you and you look female and everything!!!! go off queen
lucas is now on Protective Mode since you’re really cute and a very agreeable drunk and under no circumstances will he allow you to be taken advantage of
NOT on my watch- lucas
alright we’re gonna make senior year the present timeline bc
YOLO
lucas is officially more popular than you
BUT
he actually sticks around because he’s The Best
okay also this guy just keeps getting larger
like he got all tall but THEN
he was doing basketball so much and just genuinely enjoyed doing sports in general that our boy was thicc with two(2) got damn c’s
you don’t notice that much until he gets into a habit of throwing you over his shoulder whenever you won’t pay attention to him
and it’s , unnerving how easily he does it
he’s started wearing shirts that show off his, eh hem, assets
long story short he’s hot as fuck and even you see him and you’re like DAYUM
also every female in your school is. ALL OVER HIM
it’s hard to walk next to him in the halls because people genuinely shove you out of the way to get next to him
at first you just kind of let it happen and he didn’t notice the first few times
that made u hella emo :(((((
but now he INSISTS upon holding your hand and dragging you behind him through the crowds
you highkey blush the whole time and everyone is all ArE yOu GuYs DaTiNg ?!/&:&:$
lucas is like NO.
:))))
ouchie
you start overthinking things because ??? would it really be so bad to be dating you jeez
you’re not terribly ugly or anything ???
at least you don’t think so
oh my god he thinks you’re ugly and annoying and he hates you
self hatred commence in 3,2,....... someone play the icarly theme song
you lowkey start distancing yourself and he himself is busy busy bee so
you start seeing less of each other :/
and you miss him soooo so much (this is your own doing BITCH) but it doesn’t even seem like he misses you at all wtf
he’s just having a great time w/ his basketball boy(friend)s and everyone loves him and you’ve been hashtag left behind :(
he really didn’t mean to he just !!!! has so much going on aaaa
and like in his absence you start realizing a lot of things
like how much you actually liked his cringey ass flirting
you would always smack him every time he was like “oh sorry, just got lost in ur eyes what did u say :3”
you miss his hugs because they were really rEALLY GOOD
he tucks you under his chin and squishes you or he’ll just wrap his arms around and pick you up
your feet just ???? dangle
you miss when he would show up at your house at like 11 with a bunch of shitty foreign films and force you to watch them with him
you miss when you both would fall asleep in a pile on the couch and he would wake up and carry you to bed
because he’s an angel THATS WHY
anywhom
you miss everything about him and you just are so upset that he doesn’t pay that much attention to you
it gets WORSE when you notice some other girl hanging out with him
and she’s prettier than you and apparently good enough for his attention when you aren’t and you’re just so full of
what’s the word
JEALOUSY.mp3
go listen to jealousy by monsta x
but obviously you’re not going to acknowledge that because what’s a good friends to lovers story without a hearty helping of denial
he still tries to hang out with you so you guys do see each other in class and at least a couple weekends out of the month but :(((
it’s nowhere near how close you were
it all comes to a head when one day you’re walking in the hall and it’s hella crowded
way worse than usual
and in the center of the crowd is
you guessed it :’-)
our boy yukhei
and he just asked this girl to the winter formal and she’s nodding and smiling and hugging him and he’s smiling too and you
gotta go
your eyes are already starting to water and you start skirting around the edges of the crowd to get to a bathroom
one of your other friends jeno who also plays with lucas on the team sees you and smiles and lifts his hand
but it immediately shifts into a frown when he sees your face
he reaches out to grab your wrist and asks if you’re okay and what’s wrong
you just bring your other hand up to sloppily wipe at your watery eyes and whisper that it’s nothing
the hand he’s got in his grasp has started to shake and he looks really worried so he tugs you around the corner until he doesn’t see anyone around
and he turns to look you in the eyes all Serious
“alright. spill”
and you just
BURST INTO TEARS
he panics and hesitantly puts an arm around your shoulders to pat your back
you just press your forehead into his shoulder and cry
it’s a short cry though because although we are dramatic out here we aren’t doing The Absolute Most
you pull away and wipe your eyes and take a few deep breaths before you apologize
jeno smiles sadly and pats your head and says it’s okay and that he hopes it helped
you stand there for 37 seconds exactly in silence
jenos been counting
and then you let the cat out of the bag
you adMIT FINALLY !!!!!
that you are really in love with your bff/sort of ex-bff and you’re really jealous and sad because he doesn’t even CARE about you anymore
at first jeno is quiet but then he starts laughing
and he won’t stop
and you’re like if you keep going i’m going to cry again please i’m so sensitive
and he shuts up immediately and is like o_o
but then he grips you by your shoulders and is like hEY
“guess what”
“god jeno i am really not in the mood”
“no for real guess what the fuck is up”
“what is up ???? what is up you asshole ???”
“yukhei is in love with you too”
you scoff and roll your eyes
“this is a really lame attempt to make me feel better”
“no really i’m not even lying i swear he talks about you all the time in the locker room and he literally thinks you’re an angel”
“okay but its platonic as hell like obviously we love each other after all these years but he doesn’t like ME in the way i like HIM”
“how do you know??”
“how do YOU know ?????”
“,,,,,, you got me there”
you pat his shoulder and you’re like listen i really appreciate you trying to make me feel better but it’s time for me to accept my fate
now you and lucas still text semi regularly and send each other memes and stuff
but you just, cut him off because you physically can’t move on if you interact with him at all you LOVE this boy
he def notices and texts you a few times like
y/n ??? hello? is your phone broken?
but when you stop waving back at him in the hallways and actively avoiding him he realizes you’re not talking to him
and this poor boy cannot for the life of him figure out why
he doesn’t UNDERSTAND
god he’s dumb but we still stan
he figures you want him to leave you alone so he just stares at your forlornly from afar
this just pisses you off bc like wtf nOW YOURE GONNA PAY ATTENTION TO ME ??????
a couple weeks pass and it’s time for winter formal
yay.
you’ve been dragged here by jeno who is SURE that something important is gonna happen tonight and lucas is gonna Fix Everything
yeah OKAY
SURE
you may not want to go but you wouldn’t be caught DEAD not stunting on these hoes
you show up looking absolutely SPICY
QUEEN OF WINTER
you know you had to do it to em
jeno forcefully pulls you into the doors of the gymnasium and then disappears after he threatens you with an
“i told chenle not to let you leave”
and you turn to look at chenle who is SGA and helping with the dance and he gives you an “i’m watching you” hand motion
god this is ridiculous
you sigh and go find some of your other friends
you hate to admit this but. you actually had a little fun
and then of course
a slow song was played
and the dj is all yo everyone find you a honey it’s time to slow it down for a bit
sigh
you go to walk off the dance floor or find jeno or do SOMETHING other than stand around looking awkward surrounded by couples
but someone has snatched your hand up yo wtf
it’s LUCAS
and you just look at him with confusion
“dance with me, please. just this once,,,”
and you’re like hmmm pls don’t make me do this
but he hits you with Them Puppy Dog Eyes and you’re a goner
so you let him pull you close and hold you against his chest and rest his chin on the top of your head
you lift up on your toes so you can talk in his ear
“where’s your date?”
“dancing with her girlfriend”
“um. what”
“she’s not super duper out yet so i’m being her beard for the night. it was mainly to get her parents off her back”
“oh. huh”
“plus i missed you :(((( you disappeared”
your hands tighten in the fabric of his button up bc you’re like aw FUCK
you just shake your head and rest it back on his chest and close your eyes to enjoy it while you can
as much as you want to be convinced that things can go back to the way they were now
they cANNOT because you still love him and he still just thinks of you as a friend
maybe not even a best friend anymore :(
(again,, YOUR FAULT BITCH)
his GIANT warm hands slide across your waist to press you forward by the small of your back
at this point you are pressed together basically head to toe
and you can’t tell for sure but , you think he kissed the top of your head ???
maybe you were freakin hallucinating though since you’re losing oxygen fast due to his close proximity
the song ends and you slowly stop swaying and pull apart while everyone gets back to being wild
“can we.. go talk outside”
this sentence strikes FEAR in your heart but you take his proffered hand as he leads you outside
it’s cold as hell so you’re already wound up tight and wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm
he notices quickly and wraps his jacket around you before turning to face outward towards the road
it’s quiet other than the muffled music from inside and crickets and other night noises
he opens his mouth to say something but you just blurt out
“i like you!!!!”
and he whips around to face you and you just. keep talking
“it’s oKAY i know you don’t like me back like that and i would never be mad at you about that i didn’t distance myself from you bc of that!!!! i just had to because it was hurting me to be around you and see you be with other girls and i really wanted to move on so that we could get back to being best friends if you even wanted that i just !!! IT JUST HAPPENED OKAy i’m sO SORRY AND I ComPLetely understand if you never want to speak to me again”
and he’s just staring at you and panting
why is he out of breath he’s just been standing there
you’re getting super duper nervous because he hasn’t said aNYTHING and it’s been at least a minute
and then he just goes
“you… like .. me ???”
and you’re like ugh YES you dumbass have you even met yourself you’re so cute and sweet and such a goofy boy and you’re way too nice to me and also HOT so like. you were asking for it
and he immediately swings you into his arms and gives you a big sloppy kiss on the cheek and buries his face in your shoulder and squeals
this man. SQUEALS
and you giggle because it’s tickling your neck hey stop that
and he’s laughing that loud ass cackle of his so you’re laughing too i mean have y’all heard that shit
GOOFY AS HELL
also he’s hugging you almost just like he used to with your feet dangling off the ground
and he pulls back to set you down but then
HE GRABS YOUR FACE
AND KISSES YOU ??!/&8:$:$:92&
b i t c h
he’s so gentle and is patient when you kind of freeze at first, pulling away and pressing his lips very gently to the corner of your mouth before going Back In
and even though he’s given you NO EXPLANATION FOR THIS you kiss him back because this may be a one time only opportunity and you will NOT be wasting it
he goes very slow and sweet and right before he pulls away he presses a cute lil smooch to your bottom lip and presses his forehead against yours
“what was that for?”
“oh yeah, i forgot to tell you!! i’m in love with you”
“oh hEY me too ??!!?!&/&”
and you’re both pressed together and giggling
“hey, you wanna ditch and go get some ice cream”
“absolutely”
so he lets his date know and you text jeno
(you: bIIIIIIIITTCHHHH jeno: I KNEW IT)
and you’re off
he holds your hand the whole way there and when he parks he spRINTs around the car so he can open it for you
you each get an ice cream cone and sit next to each other at a picnic table and just talk and catch up with each other since you haven’t been talkin :/
one of your hands is laced with his and your head is leaned on his shoulder and he’s like hEY watch it this is my favorite shirt
and he flexes his arm with your head on it and you’re like god dAMN that’s a bicep
and he’s like ayy lmao arent u glad ur dating a greek demi god 🤪🤪
and you smack HIM
“i cant believe you just declared us as dating in the same sentence as calling yourself a greek demigod”
“are we ,,,, not dating”
“i mean personally, i haven’t gotten asked on a date yet. hmmmm, have you? :-)”
and he sighs dramatically before wrapping an arm around your waist and leaving a somewhat sticky kiss on your temple from the ice cream
he leans down to your ear
“hey so there’s this girl and her name is y/n and she’s so beautiful and funny and i love her so much do you think she would go on a date with me ? :3”
“hmmm well i guess so,,, she could give you a chance…..”
you hold a straight face for less than 5 seconds before you get all blushy and smiley and he squeals at you
......again
and grabs your face with his hands since he literally dEVOURED that ice cream cone
he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose and then to your lips and says against them,
“please~”
another kiss
“for me?~”
another
“cmon~”
and he goes in for another but you’re like oKAY okay i’ll date you you giant pain in my ass
and he’s like :-(((((((
(DONT BE MEAN TO THE BABY BOY)
and you’re like aw i’m sorry you’re MY giant pain in the butt
he seems pretty satisfied with that and after you finish your ice cream cone he is already at the door waiting with the door open
“if you dARE say m’lady i will walk home”
“of course ,,,,,,,,, m’lady”
“alrIGHT THATS IT”
he grabs your hand and pulls you back toward him to keep you from leaving and presses a kiss to your forehead and ruffles your hair a little
before he kindly and gently shoves you into the car
he drives home with one hand on the wheel while you mess with the fingers of his other hand because wow
that shit is amazing he’s got some big ole beautiful hands
when you arrive he walks you to your door and
this mf presses you against it and presses an absolutely SINFUL kiss onto your lips before turning around and heading back to his car
“bye, baby!! i’ll see u tmrw at school :-)))))”
and first of all: KKDKDNDKDJ
second: he called you baby it’s officially over for you bitch
you wave back blankly because what the hell just happened and then you go inside
you press yourself against the door after you close it behind you and press your hands into your warm cheeks
and woooo bOY what have you gotten yourself into
a supportive and caring boyfriend who LOVES YOU THATS WHAT !!!!!!!!
okay goodbye i really love wong yukhei xuxi lucas whatever the fuck his name is
#huehueheuhuehe#sorry its been a few days I was super busy#I love u ALL#Lucas#wong yukhei#lucas scenarios#lucas fluff#yukhei scenarios#yukhei fluff#nct scenarios#nct scenario#nct fluff#nct u#nct 2018#nct u scenarios#nct 2018 scenarios
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bout to have a meltdown on main no one @ me
okay SO in like november 2020 my mum started dating this guy for the sake of this let’s call him cunt face (bc i am feeling a LOT of anger and really want to throw a brick at him so. venting and insulting him will hopefully stop me from doing that) anyway. he was okay at first. i sort of resented him a lot in the beginning however i was like sixteen and my mum hadn’t ever really been away from home and suddenly she was away every night staying at cunt face’s house! bc she would rather be there than at home w me, my sister and my dog which sucked but !! yeah
so. some background on cunt face okay. his parents are super minted, they founded a popular convenience store in the north of england and then sold the lot of them a few years ago, they have a big house and holiday homes in europe, go away at christmas time for a full month. bc of this, cunt face is a 40 year old man who has never had a proper job bc his dad sends him a grand every time he needs any money. like. he lives in this flat that his dad bought him, he pays his rent and online shopping every month. the only reason why cunt face DOES have a job is because he’s addicted to gambling and needs funds for that
so i never rlly spoke to him much until my dog died last september and suddenly my mum didn’t really want to be away from home?? and like. bc this guy is clingy or whatever, he decided to basically move in here. still has all his shit at his flat, but he eats sleeps and spends all of his time here with us. and i kid u not. this man
he literally got mad w/ my mum and bitchy w me bc i came down at like 8pm and asked my mum to clean my glasses for me. she did it bc ???? she always does. i can do it myself however i always do an awful job of it, she told me i can always ask her. so this guy starts RIPPING INTO ME saying shit like “she’s an adult and she can’t even clean her glasses” and “why the fuck are you doing them for her” which. calm the fuck down you’re watching a shitty netflix ORIGINAL FILM so i’m sure i’m not interrupting much????
thankfully my mum started an argument w/ him the second i was out of the room lmao! but then a while later, he made an insensitive comment abt me apparently eating too much and filling myself up before i went to dinner at my dad’s (context. i was eating a fucking packet of crisps and he KNOWS i have issues with my eating. doesn’t know i have an eating disorder but? he knows i struggle with it) and she didn’t defend me lmao but it’s fine
so like a week before halloween, we got a puppy. murdock. lovely dog he’s kind of a twat and still in his phase of being excited and nipping, but we’re trying to get him out of it. he’s calmed down so much recently and when he does get over excited or he’s teething, we all know what to do to get him to calm down. except cunt face
cunt face has never had a dog in his ENTIRE LIFE somehow knows all of the important shit when it comes to training a dog. if you ask him to do smth, he ignores u point blank bc he knows best. the other day he shouted at me to control my “feral animal” even though ??? he started play fighting with murdock and then shit himself and immediately wanted out of the situation when doc got too excited and started biting. which. sorry but he knows by now not to fucking play fight with the dog, we’ve told him so many times and it’s his own fault at this point
so for context. there’s a lot of context here i’m sorry this post is like 99% context. anyway. him and my mum have had like little arguments. cunt face getting jealous of my mum having a family friend’s four year old son over for a sleepover. yes. a forty year old man getting ACTUALLY JEALOUS over a CHILD just bc he can’t deal w/ not having my mums attention. also cunt face getting jealous bc my mum went out to the pubs on my sisters birthday — to which she came home at 10pm anyway bc it wasn’t fair to leave murdock by himself for hours. and to these arguments, he’s responded in very very mature ways lmao
so one morning we woke up and realised he’d dissolved salt into our kettle. childish fuckinf prank but it was him. then after one fight he egged our front room window. not necessarily him, could’ve blamed it on a kid down our street.
ok now to the entire point of the rant. they had a fight yesterday bc he’s been getting worse with the dog. literally threatened to punch him (not in a jokey “omg shut the fuck up rn pls 😭 i’m gonna punch u” sort of way. in a, “i swear to god [name] if that dog doesn’t shut up right now i’m gonna put him through a window” way.) which my mum responded by telling him to get out. so she went to bed by like 1am, around the time i woke up, and right before she went to sleep she mentioned that he’d just texted her saying that if she didn’t reply to him then he was going to boot our door in and ??? not sure what he’d do after that but. yeah
i’m pretty sure she responded by telling him to fuck off and then just went to sleep? but anyway. we didn’t think he was serious at all bc cunt face is the type of guy who talks a lot of shit!
so yesterday i went to sleep at like 5pm and woke up at 1am. awful sleep schedule don’t @ me lmao. anyway. i was watching sonny w/ a chance bc it just got put on uk netflix, reading some soc fic and vibing. went downstairs at ??? maybe 4am to get a packet of crisps bc i’d skipped tea. then when i came back upstairs?? the wifi was off
sometimes it’s a little shitty so i didn’t think too much of it. the wifi router confuses me so i just? figured i’d leave it til my mum got up. read a 300 page book and then rewatched my fave film, then by like ??? 10am it was still off so i got up with murdock and woke my mum up w/ a cuppa
so she has a look at the wifi. router isn’t even fucking on. it won’t ??? turn on at all. she goes out into the garden (bc we have like. these weird wifi boxes w/ our broadband and they come round and actually install it or smth) and. cunt face. this absolute mother fucking cunt faced DIPSHIT decided an appropriate reaction to my mum kicking him out AFTER HE THREATENED OUR DOG??? was to cut our wifi cable so we had no internet access
like he’s just such a childish wanker whos never had to put any effort into anything bc his parents are rich and he thinks it’s okay to treat the people around him like shit. and he’s escalating in what he’s doing??? his “revenge” for my mum and him arguing started out with him pranking her, now he’s vandalising our home, how long will it be til he actually is breaking in or hurting one of us??
and like. rn i feel so unsafe at home i don’t want to be here the wifi isn’t working and i’ve felt like i’m on the verge of puking since the wifi went off in the first place. i cant even message my dad and ask him if i can stay at his bc we have no wifi bc he’ll ask why, and my mum will flip out if i mention anything about cunt face being like this to him bc my dad will probably go round and threaten him
but at this point i’m !!!!! so fucking stressed like. i told her she has to call the police or something and try and get them involved so he has to stay away from us. our neighbour has a weird obsession w/ my mum so he has a security camera pointed at the front of our house so he can see who comes in?? there’s probably proof of him cutting the wires and damaging our property. plus evidence of him threatening us. but !!! she won’t and honestly he’ll probably be back in the house in like a few weeks and i want to cry just thinking abt it !!
like. i moved out when i was fourteen bc she was having very. unsavoury and frightening people in the house and then i ended up moving BACK bc my dad had a breakdown and so did i and i needed space away from him and. like i can’t even go stay at my dad’s he lives in a one bedroom flat and !!! this is SO stressful fuck
#anyways ranting over this acc helped#sorry if anyone acc reads this lmao#just in a quirky mood!#maddie.txt
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do every oc question but with horsepower PLEASE
DUDE I WAS SO HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK ABT HER IM SO EXCITED
THIS IS SO LONG SO I’M PUTTING A READMORE
1. Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?
SHE does Not surprisingly!! BUT similarly to Giovanni with his kids, Serene is always sleeping next to her bc she’s Warm and Soft so it’s like, kinda the same thing
She IS the type to love sleeping with a ton of pillows though
2. Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?
Horsie doesn’t have the world’s greenest thumb but she could probably keep a houseplant alive!! She likes nature a lot she’s just not stellar at gardening
She would be REALLY GOOD with a pet though that animal would THRIVE and she’d be the type to take like 400 pictures of her pet and spam everyone with them like “Look at this Fucking Angel”
And she’s DEFINITELY GOOD W KIDS seeing as she’s basically raising Serene!! Serene can testify that she’s the Best babysitter (even if she accidentially taught Serene like. 20 separate curse words gdgjdsk)
3. Ask them to describe their love interest.
OOH FUN DIALOGUE
“Um, she’s.. REALLY pretty. Like, really fuckin’ pretty. I think she made me like, 17% more lesbian the first time I saw her. And like, we’ve known each other for a long time and we know each other’s secrets n’ stuff… ahahah, that came out really weird! I just mean we’re good friends, y’know? Hah. Anyway, she’s a bad bitch, I’d die for her. Love her.”
Her love interest is actually a character named Destiny who I havent drawn yet!!
4. Do they look good in red?
I think she could pull it off bc red is in her color scheme but also like.. there’s already so much warm colors!! I think she looks the best in gray or black tbh (like imagine her in a black suit or something she’d look SNAZZY)
5. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?
“HHuuh WHAT AM I S’POSED TO TALK ABOUT? Fuck. Uh. Respect lesbians.” Mic drop
6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?
She’ll ALWAYS take advice from her friends, especially Destiny, bc she trusts them to know when she’s being too hot-headed or rash- There’s a character in her friend group who hasn’t got a name yet but he’s REALLY good at giving advice!!
She will NEVER take advice from her old rival Lockjaw, and she shouldn’t- he’s always out to sabotage her somehow and plays dirty a lot of the time, and he’s known to be a huge liar (Plus they just hate each other)
7. Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.
My three words: Fiery, protective, loving!!
Her three words: “Uh.. Gay. Handsome. Wait, scratch that. Gay, HOT, optimist.”
8. Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them?
She WANTS to be intrigued but she just gets frustrated and crumples up the paper after a few minutes if it’s not a super easy riddle sjhsjf she knows by now that it’s just Not Worth It
9. Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?
She only usually does with like people (or I guess furry)-shaped objects like stuffed animals and dolls, and even then not to an extreme degree- it’s really Serene who has the EXTREME empathy and empathizes with everything!!
10. What age do they most want to be right now?
THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION she misses being a kid like Serene is a lot, but she’s pretty happy where she is- she’s in a better place than she has been for a long time at the current point of her story! If anything, she wishes she could go back and tell her middle/high school self that things are gonna be okay
11. They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?
She’d SAY she’s gonna save it and REALLY try but she wouldn’t be able to resist splurging on some really cool stuff bc COME ON she won the LOTTERY!! She’d also wanna buy gifts for the Monster family because she wants to thank them for how generous they’ve been to her so it’s really very wholesome
12. Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)?
She doesn’t READ that’s for NERDS
JUST KIDDIN but nah she’s not really one for “mushy stuff” and prefers action/adventure stories!! She’s also a fan of mysteries and anything that’s not Painfully Heterosexual
13. Name one thing their parents taught them.
Her parents weren’t the best, but they did teach her very good manners- she did go through a BIG rebel phase where she definitely was Not as polite, but overall her politeness and natural charisma really help her out in social situations (especially when she has to get favors from people and stuff)
14. Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?
I think she’d agree with the term in a general sense!! I’m not sure exactly what guilty pleasures she has, probably just the fact that she can be kind of a thrill-seeker and take unnecessary risks- not involving Serene though ofc
15. What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?
The first thing that came to mind is that she considers arguing with people you KNOW aren’t gonna change their mind to be a waste of time- Especially when it comes to social justice type issues she knows not to waste her energy on people who just won’t listen (but she’s argumentative by nature and usually ends up doing it against her better judgement)
16. If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?
LEATHER JACKETS AND COOL BOOTS AND SUCH!! She’d also wanna buy a bunch of cool pins to put on said jacket (And she’d probably have to get it tailored bc of her wings too which would also be money..) She would also probably get some kind of cool patterned horseshoes!!
17. Do they like children?
Yes she DOES and Serene is her favorite (Even though she calls her a booger)
19. Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?
NOPE she usually dives into most things headfirst, which can be VERY UNWISE but she feels like it keeps her brain clear to not stress about stuff beforehand
20. What do they like that nobody else does?
HMM… I don’t really have an answer for this one tbh!! I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, the only thing that I can think of is that she likes waking up REALLY early and the smell of smoke, but lots of people also like those things
21. What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?
She’s actually really bad at getting out of situations like that, like if she’s in a relationship she’s not happy in she’s bad at getting herself out of it- but probably something that really make her realize she needs to get outta there would be if the other person seriously hurt her on purpose
22. Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to?
She LOVES pet names and calls EVERYONE pet names (unless they’re not comfortable ofc)!! Nicknames are kinda hard to make from “Horsepower” so a lot of the time she’s given weird affectionate pet names instead, it’s somthing that she’s kinda known for
DEFINITELY her go-to pet name is “babe”, she calls almost everyone that and I like to imagine that it’s very soothing bc she has a lovely deep voice.. other go-to pet names are baby, hon and love!! She has a lot of personal nicknames/pet names for individual people though
Tbh she only really refers to someone as their full name if she doesn’t know them or if she’s mad at them shfshf
23. Stability or novelty?
Novelty!! Stability is important to her but she gets bored and anxious if she’s stuck in the same routine for too long, that’s why she likes taking care of Serene bc Serene is ALWAYS doing new things
24. Honesty or charity?
Ooh that’s difficult… Once again both are important values to her, but I’m gonna go with honesty- she’s a very (bluntly) honest person
25. Safety or possibility?
Possibility!! As established before she’s kinda a daredevil she doesn't care about SAFETY (unless it’s anyone else but her doing it then she’s gonna lecture them)
26. Talent or effort?
Effort!! She is EXTREMELY passionate and such an overachiever about everything shkfskh it’s like Hey Horsepower Can You Do This Simple Task For Me and she’s like Oh You Wanted Me To Change The World? I’ll Do That
27. Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?
Definitely vengeance she holds grudges REALLY BAD and as kind as she tries to be if someone who hurt her or her friends gets hurt… she can’t help being satisfied
30. What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?
OH THATS A HEAVY QUESTION since she holds grudges so bad she’s probably try to get revenge on Lockjaw for all the grief he’s caused her over the years, if she knew she’d be off the hook she’d get really nasty about it bc her anger at him has just been Boiling for years
WOW THAT TOOK A WHILE BUT IT WAS SO EXTREMELY FUN THANK U SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!! I’ll do the other one tomorrow bc I need to go to BED
Also I did cut out a few questions!! I either didn’t wanna answer them or I had answered them before
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i keep getting timeout errors on every page i need to access at work so i’m going to answer ur questions instead of throwing my laptop across the room
sometimes brits use ‘s’s where we use ‘z’s and i just cannot stand for that the letter z deserves better than that
it’s so sad actually bc my all time favorite diner in austin closed during covid. they had the best omelettes and pancakes and i miss that place every day. the parking was a nightmare but it was my favorite spot in the city rip.
so many shows!! we’ve got 8123 in a couple weeks and then i’ve got tickets to see the maine twice on their spring tour. going to dodie and maisie in march too. 5sos w the roommate in june. gonna be a BLAST. also i’m for sure planning on ssf again this year
i think my favorite marvel movie rn is either civil war or eternals. i rlly like those ones. oh or age of ultron bc i like when they’re all hanging out at the party at the beginning and also when everyone has a sleepover at clint’s place. that shit is cute
yes to top sheets. only as of the last couple years though. cannot explain it but i cannot sleep without one now
i cannot think of a topic rn bc i am hungry so i am going to go warm up some pizza before figuring out a way around this timeout error ily bye
that seems like a valid and legitimate solution to your problems, happy to have you
FGLKDFJHGMJ see this is another example of me being brainwashed from using british english to write so much bc ill find myself wanting to type realise just like in a regular conversational setting and have to backtrack my brain. you're valid though Z is a fun letter and it deserves to have its day
THAT'S SO SAD but also so sexy of you to list the two best things in that diner as the two things i told anna were the best things at a diner. i feel really understood rn. but anyway heartbreaking about your diner i hope you get a new bitchin diner everyone deserves to have one
SO MANY SHOWS!!!!!! im so excited for 8123 but also it def hasnt sunk in that im like. Doing That and Going There. and then ur seeing the maine TWICE in the spring i loveee that for you see that's really the advantage of being an adult and having a car you can just drive to concerts whenever you want i wish that were me i have to pay like $20 just to get into and out of the city alone if i wanna go to a concert. what kinda bullshit
anyway im eyes emoji-ing hard at SSF im sooo curious what the lineup is gonna be just announce it already punks
dude i was LITERALLY thinking abt the sleepover at clint's place LAST NIGHT that was so cute. i know people like to shit on age of ultron and like blah blah maybe it's a "bad movie" or whatever idc but it's the one movie where the avengers are all like. HOMIES. and that makes me happy. civil war is also a GREAT choice, just rewatched that one w my sister. i have yet to see eternals but i have heard great reviews from you specifically so ill let you know if/when i do.
see i agree im strongly pro-top sheet and yet for some reason my bed at home does not have one (idk what happened or where it went???) so ive been sleeping without one for literally no reason. i could just go and get one but im too lazy and i cant be bothered.
ohhh my god i want pizza so bad im very jealous of your pizza anyway good luck w your error messages i love you!!!
#xoxoxoxoxo#ask#tirednotflirting#sam#all the besties coming out of the woodwork to chat#i need to go make tea \#my hands are so cold still lmao#and i have to get out of my room#my dad is gonna say some shit im sure#well maybe not ive been reading a book lately so maybe im untouchable#who knows#thank god i dont have to make dinner today i dont think i could handle that stress
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