#so i was just relying on muscle memory to know where everything was lol

[beatriceportinari]

Somehow I'd never actually backed up all my music so i had to transfer it from my old laptop who looks like this:

#fun and cool activity #i just put it all on google drive lmao i could barely see what I was doing #so i was just relying on muscle memory to know where everything was lol

[shinsorokiri]

S/o Loses Memory and Quirk

Kaminari Denki HCs

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Language, violence, mentions broken bones, a panic attack, panic attack symptoms, sad Denki

A/N: Ngl writing angst for Denki did something to my little heart. He only deserves happiness and I’m mad at myself for giving him sadness lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! I’ll be writing one like this for All Might next so keep your eyes peeled for that one!

Shinsou, Aizawa, Hawks, and Dabi

Todoroki, Bakugou, and Kirishima

Kaminari Denki | Chargebolt

You are his partner in crime

You’re the one who is always there to take care of him when he goes dumb

You’re the one who is always there to comfort him when he feels like an idiot

You’re always the one who is there for him

And he’s always the one who is there for you

It’s been that way for years

Ever since you transferred to UA your second year of high school

The two of you became fast friends

Best friends even

And his flirty nature made it so it wasn’t too long before the two of you entered a real relationship

The two of you EXUDE the most chaotic good energy that even Bakugou finds it kind of endearing

But unbeknownst to his friends

Denki can get really fucking serious when it comes to you

It lowkey shocked you the first time you saw him act like that

And it was all because you were sparring with him and you tripped over your own damn foot and face planted 

You figured he’d just point and laugh at you but he ran over and checked you EVERYWHERE to make sure you weren’t hurt

mans even SCOLDED you

YOU WERE SCOLDED BY DENKI KAMINARI

But you lowkey LOVED it because like

Wow

He does like me !!!

Of course that was in your final year at UA

The two of you are now pro-heroes at separate agencies

And boy oh boy does Denki worry about you

He can’t help it

He has seen you run into a wall because you were trying to rely on scent instead of sight “in case you get stuck in a dark room with a villain”

He worries

But he also knows you are strong

And also a hot badass who can take on anyone

Well

Almost anyone

Midoriya could probably kick your ass but that’s just because it’s Midoriya

But in all seriousness

He isn’t even patrolling today

He has the day off actually

And Denki has never baked anything before in his life

But

He knows that there’s been this mysterious villain giving your agency some trouble recently

So he wants to make you some of your favorite cookies

Or at least try to

And then have a lil movie night

He’s a clingy little shit

And he wants to destress you so

He will refuse to let go of you for the rest of the night goddamnit!

So there he is

Taking the semi-burnt but still edible cookies out of the oven

His favorite program on in the background

When suddenly

His show gets interrupted

And the hero scanner the two of you have goes off in your living room

He immediately turns his attention to the television

Stopping in the middle of the kitchen 

Still holding the cookies

When he sees live footage of you falling from a 3 story building

Onto concrete

He drops the pan

And literally sprints out of the door

He doesn’t even have shoes on

But he doesn’t give a single Fuck™

He rushes down the stairs of the apartment building the two of you live in

And gets to his car in record time

Mans be speeding to the hospital he knows you’re gonna be at

You two had a plan in place with each other and your agencies that if anything would happen to either of you

You would both go to this specific hospital so you two could know where the other was at all times

Of course he was crying while speeding

And his heart rate was way too fast for him to be functioning

But he had to get to you

He had to

And he did

He pulled into a parking spot reserved for pro-heroes and ran inside the emergency room

When he asked about you the nurse told him you were currently in surgery for some severe bone breaks

He got a nasty taste in his mouth

But he just nodded

She told him he could wait in the waiting room

And he did

He sat down in a chair

And he was trying so hard to keep it together

So 

SO

Hard

But eventually Kirishima, Mina, Sero, and even Bakugou showed up

To be fair

Mina and you did work at the same agency

So she saw everything that happened

They immediately went over to him

And he looked up at Mina

And deadass this is the first time any of them see how genuinely serious Denki can get

He asks Mina what happened

And she hesitates

But his face is dead serious

There are obviously tears leaking out of his eyes

But his stare is wildly intense

And Mina knows that if she says no he’ll just keep asking or ask someone else at the agency

So she tells him

“Well… we were patrolling, like usual, when that villain that’s been keeping us on our toes showed up. They’ve never… done anything other than rob people and knock them out so we thought hey this should be easy. Especially since (Y/n) was there. When they saw us they ran into a building and we chased after them and when we had them cornered on the roof they did this weird… sneak attack? But not really? I don’t know it was… odd, they had this like patterned fight technique and they hit (Y/n) in a few different places, and she went to use her quirk to fight back but… nothing happened… and then they hit her like at the bottom of her skull and she just… fell down unconscious. And then they… threw her… off…”

She started trailing off at the end because a sob tore through Denki’s throat

And then he started hyperventilating

Luckily Bakugou and Kirishima were there to help him out

They get panic attacks frequently, so they managed to calm him down and get him to breathe again

And they stayed with him for as long as they had to

Eventually after hours 

A doctor came out and approached Denki

“Pro Hero Chargebolt?”

He stands up very fast

He’s informed that you are out of surgery

And that the surgery went well

However they noticed something odd in your MRI results

It seemed that a portion of your brain was damaged?

But not quite 

It was still functioning

But something about it was off

And they had never seen anything like it before

It was like certain parts of your brain were blocked but everything else was fine

Upon hearing this Denki’s heart broke

And then after hearing the part of your brain that was impacted was the part that contained long term memories

His heart shattered

“We’re afraid she may have severe amnesia. We’re going to keep running tests to see just what is going on, we think it’s the quirk of that villain. A lot of the victims of their crimes have blockages in their muscle groups, but we’ve never seen a blockage in the brain from them.”

Denki is quiet

He literally doesn’t say anything

Until he whispers

“Can i see her?”

The doctor nods

And he leads him to your room

You’re still asleep 

And you’re covered in bandages and casts

It breaks his heart

His friends texted him to tell him they went home but if he needs them at any minute that they will be on their way to the hospital in ten seconds flat

He appreciates it

But right now he really just wanted to be alone with you

He just sat next to you

Holding your hand

He was even moving your pointer finger to trace the Lichtenberg Figures trailing up and down his arms

You always do it when the two of you are cuddling at night 

It helps him sleep

And reminds him that you love him regardless of his faults

And right now he just

He really needs you

This goes on for an hour before he feels you start to move

And he freezes

“(Y/n?”

You open your eyes

And squint at him

“Uh… h-hi… aren’t you that guy in my new class…?”

He stares at you

Completely deadpan

Before laughing a bit

But it isn’t a happy laugh

It’s very much a sad laugh

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

“Cool, but um… how did you know my name already?… Are you crying?”

Yes

He was

He was laughing and crying at the same time

He probably looked like he was losing his mind

But he really did just lose his whole world so

It’s a prompted reaction

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

His voice was more strained this time

“Are you… are you okay?”

“Yeah, but you’re not. And I didn’t save you, and now you don’t know who I am, and I’m just… I’m so sorry, babe. I’m so sorry.”

The laughing stopped

Now he’s just sobbing

In your mind

You’d seen him a few times while touring the school

And he was always laughing and smiling

Always

So this was shocking

And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t tug on your heart strings

You instinctively reach out to grab his hand

And he grips onto it so tight

Almost like he’s afraid of letting go

“…You called me babe?”

He tries to even his breathing

But he nods

“I don’t… I don’t even know you, I-”

“You do. You do, but… you don’t. It’s… it’s complicated and I’m a literal dumbass so… I’ll call a doctor. They’ll explain.”

And that he does

And the doctor does in fact explain

And after the doctor leaves

You ask him to tell you about your relationship

And he does

He tells you even the smallest details

From the time that you painted the nail on his right hand middle finger pink because he lost a bet and he ended up liking it and buying nail polish for himself

To the time that you two told everyone you break danced all night to break in your new apartment when in reality he turned on Lover by Taylor Swift and the two of you slow danced in your living room

All of it

And he even managed to slip in the fact that you’d remember all of this after he caught the villain who did this to you

And he will catch them.

#my hero academia x reader #denki x reader #kaminari x reader #denki kaminari x reader #kaminari denki x reader #denki x y/n #kaminari x y/n #denki x you #kaminari x you #mha headcanons #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero x reader #bnha #my hero academia #denki #kaminari denki #denki kaminari #mha #boku no hero academia

[scarawayfromfallingapart]

but The (After)life of the Party is one of THOSE songs to me that’s like… to be cliche… a kick drum beating in my chest (again) like idk. This is one of those songs where I think they succeeded in writing it better than I’ve ever felt it but here I go trying to analyze it anyway… I realize I am taking your shtick @petewentzisblack1312 … but this song NEEDS to be analyzed and I am going to try and make you like it :) I have been lurking in ur asks as an anon for a couple weeks and I HAVe to say this off anon… I’m sorry to bother u. My greatest hits include my autotune does not equal bad/talentless rant and my Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) mini-analysis 🤪 but also I learn SO MUCH from ur blog I love it. Anyway!!! Analysis of this song:

Tw : mania, depression, anxiety, substance use

To me this song is about coming down from a manic episode, maybe not even necessarily transitioning right into depression but like. Just coming down from it and kinda seeing the world as it is again, and feeling that kind of mellowed out, where your body allows itself to feel tired again. The title makes it more obvious - he’s no longer the life of the party - it’s over, everyone’s gone home, but he’s still there trying in vain to carry it on.

“I’m a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart” is my FAVORITE line (hence my URL lol)… but the fact that this song opens with that and the narrator is oscillating between feeling 100% and feeling like they’re going to breakdown like THAT is what these transitions feel like to me (ok also I generally feel like this on a daily basis). But this line also gives you a hint of how well it is going… like he’s a stitch away from getting there - the cut hasn’t completely healed so he’s not getting there any time soon : but a scar away from falling apart - like a scar has already healed so it’s old hurt that is threatening to tear him apart —> “my old aches become new again”.

Then we get “blood cells pixelate” which I personally find hilarious since this song has been likened to the sims 3 soundtrack 💀 (I played the sims but I refused to have the music on so I have no idea cannot confirm or deny). Butttt this is obviously like a nod to everything being on film like even everything down to the blood coursing through his veins is made into an image, poster boys for your scene am I right? Also has to do with the scar/stitch - his breakdown is there for everyone to see, immortalized on magazine covers and interviews and E!News segments. But like only the blood cells, like no one gives a damn if he heals from this, thats not newsworthy. Eyes dilate (drugs and/or sex but maybe drugs Bc of the next line - full moon pills got him out on the street at night) butttt mania often comes with insomnia as we well know so. Maybe the pills are metaphorical idk

THEN the narrator becomes an observer - it’s no longer introspective, he’s watching someone else work the room, he’s cutting all ties to them loose, just sitting back and relaxing and watching and I always had this vision of Pete and/or patrick watching some girl flit around the room while he sat there with a lazy smile and drank a beer and leaned back in his chair. BUT on thinking on this more… I think- bear with me - maybe… just maybe… he’s watching himself outside of himself like some kind of dissociative thing (I personally experience that but it’s due to anxiety but it is common among just the general population so who knows) and it’s like you’re feeling that irritable high from the manic phase still and you’re trying to push through and just be part of this party right (or just part of life in general right, like the party is metaphorical IMO) and you separate form yourself in order to get through - your mind and body are not one. You have to watch yourself from the inside out, rely on muscle memory to get you through the party or your job or the tour or whatever it was in his case.

also tying back to I’m a stitch away - right like some part of you is cut in half and I’m a scar away - again, you were cut somewhere, something was severed, mind and body maybe… big brain hours (but also I’m probably reaching for that one)

Anyway then we have the “put love on hold” bc fuck if he’s ready for a relationship - he’s watching this girl desperate for stardom, maybe it’s the girl he’s watching work the room (if it’s not a dissociative thing, or maybe it’s both tbh). Her nose runs ruby red (cocaine is probably the cause I’m thinking, she’s doing lines at this party to be working the room). Death’s in a double bed (orgasms… nice one Pete) but really it’s a classic tale of a girl desperate for roles that she’s willing to sleep around to get there, she’s singing songs that could only catch the ear of other desperate people like her… but… Pete is writing THIS song and Patrick is singing it and they are just as desperate, right, like he’s helplessly watching someone enjoy a party and he’s verging on miserable (or he’s watching himself try to enjoy the party while he’s actually miserable) and they’re trying to catch our ears… we are the desperate… —> “I’m here to collect your hearts/it’s the only reason that I sing”

Then the bridge is where he starts to actually breakdown, the vocals get more intense and strained and chaotic, the sims 3 soundtrack music swells, and he repeats the beginning, reiterating that but adding on “kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all of my friends” - to me he wants to take away all their joy and pain (kills could also = orgasm if u want to be nasty lol and tie it into the death in a double bed) and he wants to feel it for himself because right now he feels NOTHING like he’s right in the goddamn middle of feeling great and feeling like shit and again, to me that exemplifies the transition between mania and depression and we are back to square 1 (to me also thrills = mania and kills= depression but that’s just probably dumb lol).

Also he’s kissing it all away - it’s gentle, it’s loving, like brushing someone’s tears away, he’s not trying to be forceful about it, but he feels like HE should be experiencing all the highs and lows not his friends… or he doesn’t want his friends to suffer… both probably and the chorus is unhinged this time, patrick gives it his all, loses it, signifying hey wait, the narrator DID lose it… but then the song ends with the music coming off that swell, slowing down, relaxing, the narrator resignedly signing off “I’m a stitch away”… giving us maybe an etch of hope, that maybe his stitches healed after all and he did make it through (with hearts and wrists intact I am so corny sorry)

ANYWAY tldr I love this song and it means so much to me and like when I was 15 and found it the first time I was always like “why does this one hurt me so bad, like I don’t get it” but like. Now that I know what bipolar disorder is and that I suffer from it I understand lol. I don’t know if this is how Pete intended this idk I feel like I got some lines right but to ME this is what it feels like. Also it is v fun to play on the violin :)

#fall out boy #infinity on high #ioh #fob #the afterlife of the party #plz don’t think this is weird ://///: I have thoughts #I recently found out I have bipolar so I am rethinking everything tbh #my depressive phases tend to be wayyyy worse like to the point I completely isolate and push people away #so that watching from the outside feeling is what I feel like a lot #not to mention the dissociative feelings from my anxiety :))) fun times #I tend to just experience hypomania so I am aware I do not feel the full extent of how destructive those feelings can be #I am not trying to glorify mania in anyway believe me #this was very long I expect approximately no one to read this and maybe that’s for the best lmao

[hskrealm]

memories. (m)

pairing: min yoongi x reader

genre: angst, smut, a liiittle bit of fluff in some places

word count: 6.2k (it wasn’t supposed to be this LONG IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DRABBLE)

 warnings: eh where do i start... reader is VERY traumatized, she’s kinda crazy too (just a little) mentions of major character death, familial issues, this fic is just very dark for like the first 2k words lol, yoongi loves his fucking sword, commoner!yoongi, king!yoongi, criminal!reader, exhibitionism, unprotected sex, hair pulling, dom!yoongi, etc.

summary: “We can save the details for later. I accept your apology, and I really want to fucking kiss you.”

notes: inspired by @dontaskshhhhh and the daechwita mv. there’s probably many typos as usual y’all—

Even though you were a lowlife, you couldn’t stand being handled roughly.

It wasn’t your fault that you had an unfortunate upbringing. Your parents were very wealthy when you were born, but after the family business failed due to illegal scamming and falsifying of information, you were left to support yourself.

Literally. They didn’t give you a single thing to live off of after the age of five, which was fine. Your grandparents took after you, and once you were able to have a say in it, you decided to never set foot in the presence of your mother and father again if you could help it.

All was fine up for the next twelve years after that, until your grandparents bailed out on you too. Something about not having the funds to support all three of you financially, although they had several beach houses to their names, and enormous retirement checks to rely on.

You had gotten used to being given up on by this point, so you weren’t as emotionally devastated as you should’ve been when you’d come home from school one day, and your grandparents had all of your belongings packed up by the front door with a nice little note on top to let you know that you’d have to find somewhere else to lay your head.

They didn’t even have the decency to tell you to fuck off in person. You laugh sometimes thinking about it, since that’s all you could do now. The past was behind you, and you can’t change it. You didn’t really want to, either, because you learned quite a bit from your younger self.

For starters, you learned from your previous encounters to never lay your trust in anyone ever again, even if they were to offer you everything you needed and more. You’d made this mistake too many times to make it again. Besides, if you couldn’t trust your own parents, then you’d be setting yourself up for failure if you decided to seek assurance in a stranger... no matter the relationship you may have developed with them.

Although you knew you couldn’t trust anyone, you quickly learned that it was okay to take advantage of help when it was given to you.

That is how you got back on your feet, after all.

You met a good group of people.

Well, good to you, but not to the law, or outsiders.

You didn’t trust them, but you allowed them to take you in. They were just like you; lost and traumatized, but they confided in one another. They didn’t really have a choice, since they only had each other.

You had an amazing run with them. They made you laugh, cry, and they supported you. Just like family, you supposed. You never had a stable family to compare the kind of love they gave you to, but you figured it’d be something similar.

You never had an abundance of anything, but you had just enough, and that was okay. You were never the type of girl who desired to live lavishly anyway.

It was remarkably easy for you to pick up on their habits. You had become keen on cheating, lying, and stealing after only two months of being in their company. It came easily to you, and you used your newly developed skills to wiggle your way in and out of certain situations.

You couldn’t wiggle your way out of this one, though. The cuffs on your wrists wouldn’t allow for that.

You sucked in a breath as you were thrown to the ground, your knees scraping against the material of your jeans as you made impact.

“Be any fucking rougher, could you?” You hissed toward the guard over your shoulder, although you wiggled your fingers nervously behind your back.

He smirked at you, stifling a laugh as he carried his muscular frame toward the large double doors that you were forced through moments prior to being manhandled toward the ground.

“Enjoy your last few moments of life, honey.” He spit, his face falling expressionless afterward as he allowed the doors to slam shut behind himself, leaving you to your thoughts. You couldn’t see his face, but you were certain that he was sporting a shit eating grin. If you could, you’d slap it off of his face.

You couldn’t see a thing in the room that you were in, and you began to grow anxious as the anticipation began to eat away at you, your heartbeat thudding loudly in your chest.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and held back a loud cry, your eyes watering as the realization finally settled upon you. You couldn’t keep up your tough girl exterior anymore, and you were going to die in this pitch black room at any moment.

What if this was part of the execution? What if the room was this dark purposefully? To add to the shock factor? That would be sure get someone shaken up, knowing they could be taken out by a gunshot, a quick slice of a sword, something hanging from the ceiling—

You paused, sniffing the tears away quickly. You knew your eyes would get puffy if you cried for any more than a few seconds, and you wanted to be remembered for being strong, not a wimp. News would spread quickly after your death, and you knew it would. It always did.

You evaluated your position for a moment. You were crying because you were afraid of death.

Seriously, you were afraid of something that was inevitable?

You choked back a laugh, a small smile cracking on your face before you burst out into a full on fit of giggles.

You wouldn’t be tortured to death, and you knew that for sure. That sort of punishment was only allowed for sexual crimes, acts of severe hatred, domestic abuse, or murder.

You’d be killed quickly, and you were crying because of that? You’d have lost all of your street credit if word got back to your little gang.

You looked like a lunatic. Knees pressed into the ground, hands behind your back, and laughing wildly as strands of your hair flew onto your face from the occasional draft that would flow through the room.

You knew it, too, but you picked up this tip from a certain black haired boy with a scar over his eye. He used to be involved with your group of criminals.

He told you to laugh in any situation where you were put under extreme pressure. You told him that he was crazy for giving you such shitty advice, but once you tried it after being taken into custody for the first crime, you realized that he may have given you some valuable information.

“You’ll either relax a bit and take some of the stress off, or they’ll think you’re crazy and let you go. Win win, right?”

You smiled as your laughter began to die out.

You’d always remember Yoongi, but he was dead to you now.

He was the only person in that group that you connected with. Still, you didn’t trust him, but you could rely on him to help you every now and then if you needed to.

He left without a word, something about wanting to better himself. He’d mentioned that a few times before he actually left, but you didn’t think he’d follow through.

That was the first time that you’d been physically hurt when someone important to you left.

You didn’t speak for a few weeks, laugh for months, or manage to take care of yourself properly for quite some time.

He was so important to you, and he knew it. He didn’t care though, because he still left. Why did you care then?

You didn’t.

You wouldn’t have to care about anything in a few more minutes.

You rolled your neck from side to side, shaking yourself free from any final thoughts as you waited patiently for your execution.

You considered begging for your life, but there was no reason to. You didn’t have anything to lose anymore.

You sat quietly for another minute or so.

Every muscle inside of your body tensed at the sound of leisurely paced footsteps striking against the ground. You felt like you were going to explode, but you managed to keep yourself together.

“Lift your head.”

You immediately obeyed the request, fearful that you’d be tortured immensely if you hadn’t.

You took a deep breath, stopping midway through it as you felt the cool metal of a sword press right under your chin.

The panic began to settle in again, and you began to fidget around like a fish out of water as the sword grazed the skin of your neck.

“Luckily for you, ________, stealing isn’t punishable by execution.” Your eyes ballooned out of your skull, and your mouth dried instantly as you fell into a coughing fit.

“You’d better hold your breath if you want to keep your life.” The person with the sword against your windpipe teased, and you shrieked in terror and disbelief as you confirmed that the voice belonged to who you thought was the rightful owner.

“YOONGI!” You screamed so loudly that your voice bounced off of the walls in the room and echoed back, possibly louder than the scream itself.

You weren’t sure if you screamed because he was the one threatening you with a weapon, or that there was still a very large sword pressed to your jugular even though he just said that stealing isn’t punishable by execution.

How would he know that, anyway?

The room began to lighten up at the same time the sword did against your neck. You were vaguely able to make out Yoongi’s figure in front of you.

You winced slightly as the lights brightened fully, and you came face to face with the sack of ass that left you to suffer years ago.

You checked your surroundings immediately afterward, confused to find that you were in the aisle of what you knew to be a temple.

Was this a fucking joke?

You weren’t sure of what to say. You had questions, obviously, but you also wanted to scream at him for being an asshat and playing such a dumb prank on you.

How are you supposed to start a conversation with someone that you hadn’t talked to in years, though?

Yoongi could read your confusion, a sadistic smile on his face as he walked toward you as if he had achieved something great.

He leaned down in front of you, a few pieces of his blonde hair brushing against your forehead. You thrashed around in the cuffs as he placed a light peck to your forehead, just as he did when the two of you were on good terms.

“Get the fuck off of me.” You threatened, and he hummed at your attitude.

“Still as gorgeous as ever, ________.” You bit down on the insides of your cheeks as he angled himself away from you.

He was as gorgeous as ever himself, the scar still perfectly etched into his skin as if it’d never heal, his face a bit more mature since the last time you saw him, and his hair a bright blonde instead of the shiny black it was a few years back.

You hated him.

“I hate you.” You voiced your thoughts, and Yoongi simply shrugged while taking a few steps backwards, maintaining his eye contact with you.

“You wouldn’t hate me if you knew what I’ve done for you.” He responded simply, his chocolate colored eyes squinted in distaste as he turned around on his heels, walking cooly to a chair that would’ve resembled a King’s throne.

It actually was a throne, but you didn’t understand why he was sitting on it. Min Yoongi was certainly no King. He was a rude and inconsiderate excuse of a friend.

Er, acquaintance, rather. You never really had friends, and you’d like to keep it that way.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, nose turned up in skepticism. Yoongi smiled a bit, licking his lips as he reminisced upon the events that happened a bit earlier today.

He saw you being dragged into the temple by one of his guards, struggling to keep your footsteps aligned due to the inability to control the pace of your walking.

He watched as the doors of the temple swung open and you were thrown to the ground harshly. He was hidden in the shadows as he observed the scene, immediately knowing that feisty voice of yours like the sword that he carried with him daily.

It was one of the things he loved most about you. After all, he was the one that practically made that part of you, and he didn’t regret it one bit.

It pained him to know that you were brought to him under terms of execution, but he assumed this would be the way you’d turn out if you continued to involve yourself with that group of people. That’s why he left you on your own.

Plus, the road to becoming King didn’t require the help of anyone else, and it certainly didn’t require yours. This was a task that he needed to complete on his own, and now that he had, his goal was simply to remain in power.

That’d be easy. People feared tyrants.

Yoongi was no tyrant, but he had tyrannical tendencies, one of them being participating in the execution of prisoners. Now, it was strictly prohibited for a King to execute a commoner, but he didn’t mind. Plus, he did sit back and watch most times as he was supposed to, so what was the harm?

He was the highest form of authority there was anyway, so who’d complain to him about what he could and couldn’t do?

He battled with himself to figure out a proper way to ease you out of this. He couldn’t outright call the execution off, and he knew that. No one would fear a King who spared the life of some measly village girl, and Yoongi craved the fear of his people.

Perhaps he could drag you elsewhere once the guard left. If he was to be questioned about it, he could mention something about needing to speak to you privately before your execution.

No, that’s dumb. Who’d believe that?

Maybe he could wait just until your execution was to take place, and halt it, saying that you were wrongly convicted of your crimes?

He couldn’t do that either. You’d been caught stealing multiple times before, and your criminal record was long enough to prove that you were the right person sentenced to death.

So, Yoongi lost about half of his dignity when he marched right up to the guard that dragged you inside, and asked him to let you be.

Of course, the guard agreed, but Yoongi’s ego had faltered momentarily.

He gained all of that dignity back, though, when he heard you scream his name while kneeling with your hands cuffed behind your back.

What a sight to see.

Yoongi glanced back down at you from his throne, a cocky smile on his face as he shifted his position in the gigantic chair, turning his body slightly sideways as he threw his legs over the side of it.

“Nothing, so I guess you’re right. I haven’t done a thing to help you.” He shrugged, bending over onto the ground to grab his scabbard. He slid the sword into it with practiced ease and dropped it to the ground.

The sound of the weapon scraping against the sides of the holder caused you to cringe, and you jumped as the sound of it hitting the floor bounced off of the walls a few times, just as your scream did earlier.

You gulped at the thought, wondering if he really would have killed you if he had gotten the chance.

“What’s your deal with them anyway?” Yoongi questioned after a few moments of thick silence. Your head snapped up to meet his eyes the moment he began to speak.

“I don’t have to answer anything you ask me, and it’s none of your business.” You responded, and Yoongi quirked an eyebrow.

“I would’ve assumed that you’d catch on a little earlier. You have always been a smart girl, but I suppose all of the thieving and lying caught up with you after a few years.” You said nothing, suddenly feeling overwhelming guilt.

“You do have to answer everything I ask you, actually. I can’t kill you for stealing, but I can kill you for treason.” You scoffed. There he was, playing the royalty card again.

“Treason? Yoongi, give it up. You can’t be executed for treason toward a commoner. Have you lost your mind?” He narrowed his eyes at you and stood up, taking the short walk toward you again.

“You are a commoner, ________. I am not.” You were tired of his dumb breakdowns.

“What are you supposed to be then?” You smirked, and Yoongi returned the smirk with a lick of his lips.

You watched with furrowed eyebrows as he shrugged the thick black jacket he was wearing off of his slim shoulders, and you inhaled a shaky breath as you vaguely made out the emblem of the kingdom on both of his shoulders in the dim lighting of the temple.

“Oh my fucking God.” Your voice cracked as you whispered, your bottom lip trembling in defeat as you realized your humongous fuck up.

You slowly lifted your head, immediately meeting Yoongi’s eye contact. He jutted his bottom lip out to mock you, before quickly twisting his lips into a sly smile.

“You know what to do.” You nodded, lowering your upper body to the ground slowly.

You weren’t low enough to the ground for his liking, so he grabbed his sword and retrieved it from its covering, and pressed the dull side of it against the back of your head to force you lower. Your forehead was touching the ground.

“Better.” He sighed, holding you there for a few seconds before placing the sword back at his side. When you no longer felt the pressure of it on your head, you deemed it okay to lift yourself up.

Your mind was pooling with questions.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He joked, placing the sword in front of him as he stacked both of his hands onto its handle.

“How?” You asked weakly, and he feigned confusion.

“How are you King? You can’t be King with that scar over your eye.” You wanted to find any plausible fault to the idea that he was King.

“Why can’t I?” He asked with a cock of his head. The question was meant to be unanswered, but you stupidly responded anyway.

“The scar symbolizes impuriti—“

“Then I must be pretty powerful, hm?” He laughed, swinging the sword off of the ground to rest on top of his shoulder. He gave you a pity glance as he took a few steps to land himself behind you.

“I’m not going to put you in prison.” He sighed heavily, as if the admittance of him allowing you freedom hurt his conscious dearly.

“Why not?” You asked eagerly, trying desperately not to show how excited you were as your fingers twitched behind your back.

“I’m not going to imprison you, but I need you to make me a promise.” He said, removing the sword from his shoulder as he slid it in the space between your back and the chain of the handcuffs.

You stood deathly still.

“Anything.” You responded instantaneously. You’d regret it later.

Or maybe you wouldn’t.

“Don’t let me see your face around here again.” What?

Around the temple? In the village? Where were you supposed to go?

“I—“ He placed his foot against your lower back, digging his shoe into your skin through the fabric as he tugged the sword forcefully toward himself, successfully breaking the chain of the cuffs and sending it flying backward.

You moaned at the feeling, bringing your wrists in front of you as you twisted each of them around a few times to rid yourself of any stiff muscles.

“Get out.”

•••

“You called me back here?” You sighed, leaning your head against the opened doors as Yoongi hummed with a small nod.

“Yes, I did. Come in, and close the doors behind you.” You raised an eyebrow, although you shut the temple doors and walked down the aisle that would lead you to Yoongi’s throne.

He stood up from his royal seat, walking halfway down the aisle to meet you. You took the time to notice his appearance. He was dressed just like he was when you saw him a few years ago before he completely vanished. Baggy clothes, low rise sneakers, and a few chains dangling from his neck.

You held an unimpressed expression as you stood face to face with him, but seeing him dressed like this gave you a small bit of satisfaction. Of course, you wouldn’t tell him that though.

Unknown to you, Yoongi chose to dress like this to keep you comfortable with him. He needed you to be a bit vulnerable if you are going to hear him out, and he knew this would be one step closer to achieving that vulnerability.

Plus, he was taking you out today. Yes, to explain everything that’s happened during the past couple of years while he wasn’t around, but also for his personal satisfaction.

He missed you just as much as you missed him.

“We’re going to that little spot a few minutes away from here. The one we always used to—“

“I know, Yoongi. I really don’t want to bring up the past anymore.” You stopped him, holding your hand up as you cut him off in the middle of his sentence. You didn’t mean to come off so harshly, but the years of emotional trauma didn’t make that easy for you.

Yoongi nodded once, although he felt a little pang in his chest in you basically admitting that you didn’t want to go to the special place the two of you created a few years back, and you probably didn’t even want to be with him right now.

“Sure, okay.” He sighed, clearing his throat as he walked toward a hidden back entrance that he used at times to leave the temple.

You watched as he took his first few steps, before turning over his shoulder to stare at you with annoyance written all over his features.

“Are you going to follow me, or are you just going to stand there and look stupid?” You rolled your eyes and began to follow after him, Yoongi turning back toward the front once you caught up with him.

He continued to walk, and you desperately tried to fight the smile that was tugging at your lips as bits and pieces of the Yoongi you knew were starting to shine through.

•••

The walk to the secluded spot by that small river that you remember so fondly was uncomfortable and stuffy.

Neither of you said a word, simply letting the leaves crunching under the both of your shoes fill the silence.

The sun was beginning to set, and the rays cast a beautiful shadow over the river. It looked just as it did the last time you were here.

That day… that day was the happiest you’d been in years.

That was also the day Yoongi got his scar.

“Where the fuck did you go?” Yoongi asked, laughing loudly as he stumbled over a few branches while searching for you behind the trees and shrubs near the river.

“I’m never playing hide and seek with you again. You’re an asshole for this.” You chuckled, immediately clasping your hand over your mouth as you hoped desperately that he hadn’t heard.

But, it was Yoongi. Of course he’d heard.

“Your cute little laugh is going to get you in trouble.” You ducked lower behind the shrub in front of you, peering out over the edge to see if you could see his shadow approaching.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion when you couldn’t see him anymore, squinting and leaning forward a bit to see if your eyes were playing tricks on you.

Yoongi snuck up behind you, cursing under his breath when you snapped your head in his direction.

You hadn’t fully processed that it was Yoongi when he finally came into view and attempted to scare you, so you pushed him backward roughly. This sent him tumbling over a rock, and his face smashed against the forest floor.

“Oh my God!” You screamed, running over to him, your black combat boots seeming to be too heavy at that moment.

He was breathing heavily and holding one side of his face, and when you rolled him onto his back, the sight of the blood creeping between his fingers was enough to make you pull him up to his feet, and you dragged him all the way back to the village within a handful of minutes.

You had ripped off a piece of your oversized shirt and wrapped it over his eyes sometime during this process.

The two of you were spotted by a group of people as you neared the village again, and they helped you pull Yoongi to the home of a medic who would sew his skin together.

He had the stitches for two months, and even after they removed, he still had the scar.

You felt terrible, but you never got the chance to apologize.

He left the day after his stitches were removed.

“________.”

You gnawed on your bottom lip.

“________!” Yoongi shouted, and you came to with a small jolt.

“I’m sorry.” The words tumbled from your lips effortlessly, and it felt so, so good after all these years.

You walked quickly to meet Yoongi as he sat near the edge of the river, the wind blowing lightly which made his hair a disheveled mess.

“I’m so sorry, Yoongi.” You repeated, clearly this time as you sat down next to him, keeping a few feet between the two of you because you weren’t sure where your emotions were at the moment, and you certainly weren’t sure what he was feeling.

There was an awkward silence.

“What?” He laughed, the confusion evident on his face.

“What are you talking about?” You scratched nervously at your arm as he scooted a bit closer to you.

A part of you wanted to condemn him, but a larger part of you wanted him to stay right next to you.

“I’m really sorry about the scar. You left before I could apologize, and it’s been making me feel so guilty for the past couple of years, but—“ Yoongi shook his head, taking your hand into his as he intertwined your fingers with his, just like he used to back then.

You let your hand flop loosely in his.

“Isn’t it a little obvious that I don’t mind it? If anything, I’m happy that you fucked my face up.” He joked, his gummy smile slowly fading as he looked from the river to your paling face.

“Why’d you leave?” You asked, the light mood falling. Yoongi took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He knew he couldn’t avoid this question, but he hoped that you’d at least wait a bit before bringing up this topic.

“I told you, I need to better myself.” You let go of his hand.

“Bullshit!” You exclaimed, Yoongi simply turning his head to look at you as your face began to heat in anger.

“It had something to do with me, and I know it does. Why lie now? Why bring me to this special spot to lie, Yoongi?” He took a small gulp, looking away from you and out toward the landscape. He couldn’t utter these next few words while staring at your face.

“I wouldn’t have become King if I was in love with a criminal.” He stated nonchalantly. You froze.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You stood up, and Yoongi stood up as well, just in case you were planning to run away and get yourself into trouble as you usually did when you couldn’t handle your emotions.

“I had to let you go if I wanted to change, ________. You’re not good for me, and I’m not good for you.” His voice began to thin out the longer he spoke, fighting back a sob.

“Are you trying to say that I’m a bad influence?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Are you seriously trying to say that I am not good for you , when you’re the person that I got into the most trouble with in that entire fucking group?” You shook your head as you spoke, refusing to believe that he was saying you weren’t good for him.

“Why don’t you tell me the real reason that you left, hm? I can handle the truth, and I deserve to know after waiting for so long. Believe me, you won’t have to worry about seeing me again after this.” Yoongi was seething, his hands clenched into fists by his sides as he tried to steady his breathing.

He wasn’t going to get angry.

He was going to explain himself to you calmly.

“Did you not just hear me fucking say that I’m in love with you?” His voice dropped to a whisper, as he began to take slow strides toward you.

You’d seemed to have forgotten that in the midst of your yelling at him.

“I taught you a handful of things back then, but I’m fairly sure that knowing when to shut up was one of them.” You looked over your shoulder as you took a step backward whenever he took one forward, but if you continued like this then you’d end up with your back against a tree.

This was not some cliche love story, and you weren’t the main character.

You stepped to the side to avoid bumping into the tree.

Yoongi took a side step as well, standing still for a few seconds before he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and pressed you up against the tree by his arm.

“You were going to hinder me from my goal, ________. There’s no way in hell I’d be able to focus while having you by my side.” His grip on you loosened as he continued to speak.

“I thought if I was away from you that I’d forget about everything, but that made it worse. There wasn’t a single day that came where you wouldn’t pass my mind.” You pressed your head backwards against the tree in exasperation.

“Why couldn’t you take me with you?” You asked, sadness evident in your voice. Yoongi’s heart clenched as he read you like his favorite book.

“I wanted you to be there for the result, not the work that it took to get there. I’d come back for you when I was better off, but I didn’t have to. You came to me.” Yoongi leaned in closer toward you.

“Well, you didn’t come to me, per say. I brought you to me.” You scoffed.

“You did what?” Dealing with him was an emotional roller coaster, but you still wanted the first seat on the ride.

“We can save the details for later. I accept your apology, and I really want to fucking kiss you.” You opened your mouth to respond, but Yoongi leaned in for this kiss anyway.

He molded his soft lips against yours with ease. You awkwardly left your eyes open, but upon seeing him with his closed as the passion radiated in the way he kissed you, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to slip into his embrace.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, the kiss quickly shifting from pure and energetic love to uncontrollable and messy lust for one another.

Yoongi broke the kiss first, and you chased his lips as he pulled away. You whimpered in defeat as he used his grip on your waist to turn you around, your hands pressed against the bark of the tree.

He roughly tugged your jeans down your legs, not having the patience to unbutton them fully. You flinched as you heard a twig snap somewhere in the distance, and you looked over your shoulder at Yoongi with fear etched onto your features.

“We’re going to get fucking caught.” You laughed, although you were deathly afraid of being found with the King’s dick buried snuggly inside of your pulsing cunt.

“I’m a King, baby. I’m the boss. I don’t give a fuck about someone stumbling back here.” He spoke, while working quickly at the zipper of his jeans.

“Besides, I’ll be quick.” He moaned out in satisfaction as he finally freed his cock from its confines. He tugged your panties to the side with one of his fingers, slapping his length against your throbbing clit a handful of times before lining himself up with your inviting warmth.

“Kind of difficult—oh shit,” He paused in the middle of his sentence as he slid his cock into you, a shiver running down your spine at the feeling of being so full after so, so long.

“Kind of difficult to wait for something that you’ve been wanting for a—for a while, especially when it’s right in front of you.” He huffed into your ear, gathering your hair up in one of his hands to force you to arch you back more.

“Fuck. You okay, baby girl? I know this is a tight fit, cause you’re squeezing the shit out of my dick.” Yoongi waited patiently for your okay, although that didn’t stop him from rocking his hips against you slowly to offer himself some sort of relief.

“‘m okay. Just fuck me, please.” You begged, and Yoongi hastily obliged. He kept his hand tangled between your locks, as he brought his free hand down to your hip.

He set a gut-destroying pace instantly, the sound of his balls slapping against your ass somehow louder than they’d be if the two of you were in a secluded room.

“You can consider this your punishment for giving me so much shit talk yesterday. Look at you now, huh? Can’t get a single fucking word out, can you?” You whined as he dug his fingernails into your hip, his thrusts so vigorous and powerful that you would scrape the skin of your thighs against the tree every now and then.

Your legs twitched as you neared your high, a noise sounding like somewhat of a feminine growl climbing its way out from the back of your throat as you held your breasts in your hands, flicking your nipples between your fingers to coax yourself closer to the edge.

“Good girl. Lose yourself on my cock.” Yoongi was near his climax as well, the way your pussy was sucking him in combined with his cock grazing the material of your panties every few thrusts enough to send him straight toward that euphoric feeling.

There was something so primal about him taking you up against a tree, where seemingly anyone could find the two of you. No strings attached (yet), just pure, sexual need.

“Cum with me. I want that.” Yoongi snarled into your ear, and you nodded eagerly as he slid his hand across your stomach and down toward your clit.

He only managed to rub a few quick circles against the sensitive nub before you began to thrash wildly underneath him.

“Stay still.” He warned you, and you tried desperately to obey him as hot bliss took over momentarily, and your muscles spasmed beneath Yoongi as he used your pussy to chase his high as well, pulling out to cum on your back.

He slid your pants back up, before turning you around to try and button them. You were shaking too much, though, and it was starting to frustrate him.

“________, stay st—SHIT!”

Yoongi yelled as he began to tumble backward, making sure to pull you with him this time.

Your intense shaking caused Yoongi to trip over himself and fall backward, causing the both of you to end up plummeting into the cold river water.

“Damnit!” You cursed, and Yoongi just laughed as he rubbed his eyes free of the water that managed to seep into them.

“You’re quite the klutz.” He commented, running his hand through his hair as he slyly noticed the way your shirt began to grow more and more sheer as it soaked in the water.

“You’re quite the asshole.” You playfully rolled your eyes, squealing when Yoongi snagged your shirt into his hands and pulled you into his hold once more.

“Accidents just seem to happen at this river, don’t they?” You asked, and Yoongi shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist as he tucked your head underneath his chin.

“Yeah, but they’re also the best memories.” You tilted your head up to look at Yoongi’s face, and his eyes were closed.

Why do you always miss the memo?

Just as you were about to close your eyes, Yoongi splashed your face with a bit of water from the river.

You gasped and pulled away from him, mustering up the most threatening glare you could give.

“Why would you do that when I’m already wet?” He smirked.

“Hell yeah you are.”

“YOONGI!”

tag list! (let me know if you wanna be on it!)

@bitchyaus @taesluttt @1-in-abillion @designjet @peachy-bhun @patpus @koracynthia120 @safi4x @lcnycto @someonewhowannadielol @dreamingsmile @rinastylesworld @fan-ati--c @sincemalik @bts-bay-bee @cestlaviecia @jeonjungkookiiee @bunny-kix03

#blkjmn #bts smut #yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #min yoongi au #min yoongi smut #min yoongi angst #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi imagine #yoongi au

[gothfoxx]

It’s 3 am time for ideas 💡

A real f-u to Alya would be giving Nora a miraculous (I see her as a bee or turtle but for extra salt she could be the fox)

More quirkless izuku fics should have him and Hitoshi’s friendship be based on toshi hearing someone dis on ‘Deku’ and punching that someone (even if he doesn’t know izuku yet) cause come on this kid is probably one of like few people (including Shiggy) that get it

More ml salt where Mari takes the low road but with a twist! She makes her own blog (anonymously) and does that thing where people can submit rumors and gossip about people at school also anonymously. But like that one post it’s not really anonly and after a week of everyone getting shat on (There’s a lot of Mari hate) she reveals who was submitting everything! Lila sent a lot and everyone has to see her true colors but also their own, no one ever finds out Marinette made the blog

Mari starts giving trusted adults(the firefighters, some kind people in her day to day life) miraculi and not only do they do a better job and don’t have time limits BUT they also see firsthand how Chat crosses the line into harassment with LB. They step in and more of the public sees that LadyNoir is not some “lol cute” ship but real people who can choose for themselves, lb chooses no!

Chloé redemption where she falls into Bunnx’s burrow (right after she loses the bee comb) and sees herself siding with Hawkmoth. She’s so disappointed and disgusted that she decides (lol so many big d words) and changes her ways. Since Lila comes back like right after(? I think) and Mari loses faith in her friends Chloé steps up and now there is a new Fox. Time changes but Bunnx sees it’s a better version so she leaves it be.

BNHA au where OFA is actually a thing like a miraculous but it’s still like itself where it changes for each holder. Basically the first holder/AFO’s brother has the pass-down quirk but instead of stalkpile being the added one it’s a quirk that makes inner strength become a physical thing. As it’s passed on it becomes stronger and because dna it has a bit of left over powers from each holder. When Izuku gets it from All Might (it’s a belt for AM) it becomes a pen. At first he’s like “huh?” but then he accidentally uses it for notes and suddenly Izuku can copy the power he was writing about! He doesn’t blow off his limbs but he did still gain muscle from the hell training, so now he can access any quirk he writes about AND he can just punch somebody’s lights out. (Instead of the past users talking in dreams or trancelike states they ghost write to Izuku in his journal but only he can see it! (Oop that got long)

One day Gorilla/Simon stumbles onto Gabriel and Natalie talking villain talk and uses his ex-spy skills to take the miraculous from them. He makes a champion to talk to LB. LB is like ⊙︿⊙ but takes the chance and follows the champion to where Simon hid the peacock. He has mad respect for hero’s and is happy to help them but Simon also heard that this was all because Emilie so he makes another champion to heal her and all people who might have been hurt by corrupt miraculi before he gives back the butterfly along with evidence of who HM was. The name Phalène/Atlas Moth is celebrated for his saving of Paris even if he was never seen, Emilie and Simon marry after she fully recovers from learning what her husband did.

The three trouble makers of Camp Camp are attacked by a mutant/nercromanced bear but then a different monster saves them and eats the bear. They get found by David who when told about the creature thinks it’s the deadly  Algonquian cannibal spirit. He proceeds to research and take precautions to protect the campers. No one sees the thing for weeks so David thinks it worked until Max falls off a short cliff and into deep water. Suddenly the thing leaps to save the drowning kid, it doesn’t sizzle in the sun or try to eat the camper who is dangling by his hood from its jaw. Turns out it’s not the cannibal spirit but a creature that feeds off dark magic that mimics the Algonquian spirit like a king snake does a coral snake. Does it stay does it go? Heck if I know but the real question is where did the necro-bear come from?

More Camp Camp! David bumps his head and loses his memory so he relies on Gwen and the kids to help him figure out who he is. We get to see how each person see David, styles are even different because everyone perceives reality differently! David gets his memory back just as the last kid/Max is going to take his turn. Max is outwardly miffed about not being able to “convince David to be cooler” but we ‘shift’ to his view and it’s startlingly almost like the show’s version but David has a soft glow and he has a name tag that we can’t make out until just before credits. It says Dad.

#ml salt #ml sugar #ml au #bnha au #cc au #wendigos are not myth or stories please dont tag as such #they are part of a religous culture and are real #dont test me on that #Nora cesaire sugar #ml chloe sugar #foxx writes #its on 4 ive been writing for a hour! #3 am rambles

[carnalhaus]

I personally headcannon EJ as blind, relying on smell and hearing to identify people and when hunting. He stalks victims before attacking so he can listen to where doors and windows are, doors by hearing where they enter and windows by how easily he can hear them from inside. I imagine he'd be really slow and careful when moving around in unknown territory.

yes !! i luv a totally blind ej, rlly slow and cautious but he knows what he’s doin, i feel like he puts the balls of his feet down first when he walks in unfamiliar places so he makes sure he doesn’t trip

since i hc he has eyes that just don’t work for shit, i feel like the most he can see is light. u know when u can see light thru ur eyelids ??? kinda like that, like he can tell when he’s facing a screen or a window

since that’s like totally useless i feel like he relies mostly on muscle memory, echolocation, hearing, all that !!!! it’s just that sorta thing where he can see but not SEE see yknow

reminds me of how i can take a shower and stuff w my eyes closed bc i get shampoo in them so often to the point i remember where everything is by muscle memory lol

also just a cute thing but when he goes down stairs he has to press his heel up against the front of the step he’s on so he doesn’t step too far forward, he has long legs !!!!!

#asks #ej thoughts ❤️

[swishandflickwit]

a million nights i've lived this quiet (i need to know if you hear this too) — 1/1

Summary: “That looks dangerous.”

“I eat danger for breakfast,” he snits, tone dry as a desert and the effect just as unpleasant.

She raises an unimpressed brow.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Toph.”

He smirks.

“That one’s on your brother, actually.”

“Figures,” she mutters with a roll of her eyes.

zutara + haircut

Ratings: General Audiences

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: unbeta'd, fluff, fluff without plot, haircut, hugs, hand holding, canon divergence (i think?), sozin's comet, set somewhere in the old masters (because as usual, we throw canon in the blender), generally a lot of wholesomeness all around, gratuitous use of sun and water metaphors (as you do when it comes to zutara), basically zuko and katara share a quiet moment before canon hits the fan lol

AN: i see a lot of zutara post agni-kai but what about zutara pre-agni kai huh?

Title from: wanna know by sabrina claudio

Other song inspirations include: frozen also by sabrina claudio and this version of chasing cars originally by snow patrol, covered by the wind and the wave. highly recommended listening.

Also on: ff.net | AO3

Other writing

Tagging: @jerkbend by request! hope you enjoy this one bb <3

-//////-

"That looks dangerous." 

He doesn't chuckle, but neither is he quick enough to suppress the tug curling at the right corner of his lips—his mirth incontestable even through the warped looking glass from which she views him, stood as she is at the opening flap of his uncle's tent.

By the time she fully steps into the living quarters, his face is schooled into the deeply discontented, partly pained-to-be-alive glower he so favors.

"I eat danger for breakfast," he snits, tone dry as a desert and the effect just as unpleasant.

She raises an unimpressed brow.

"You've been spending too much time with Toph."

He smirks.

"That one's on your brother, actually."

"Figures," she mutters with a roll of her eyes. "What with half his brain being in his stomach..."

The laughter that the gibe yanks from the firebender is biting and brief, but Katara's breath hitches at the sound all the same. She latches on to it, holds it somewhere between her throat and chest, not too distant from the pitifully hollow space in her heart that she isolates from the bitter, ugly parts of her that are forged in battle and conflict.

"Should you…" is there a delicate way to phrase such a question? No, judging by the dirty look he throws her way, guessing at her thoughts, no there is not. She stifles the giggles bubbling at her throat with herculean effort, before remarking rather bluntly, "Are you qualified to handle that?"

He maintains his glare a second more before bowing his head and releasing a hot huff of air towards the ground in resignation. He places the mirror—from which the whole of their interactions had been exchanged thus far—atop the low table in front of him, then shifts so the entirety of his figure faces her. When he lifts his gaze, the veil of gloom that so frequents his visage has dissipated enough to allow a brittle smile to peek through.

"Probably not," he concedes with an amiability uncommon to his appearance. "Will you help me?"

But she likes the way the expression settles on him. It quells the ragged contours of his scar, somehow—his eyes seemingly unburdened by the sorrow he often declines to share, for once. As if in putting breath and voice to the request, he's quieted the ghosts of his troubled past for the moment to be fully present, here. 

With her.

So when his metal-ladden hand falls almost shyly towards her, his stare gentle but no less piercing in its signature, sun-blessed intensity—obscured as they are by his unruly, ebony tendrils—she smiles. It is a fragile thing, muscles straining as they pull from the recesses of memories she also staunchly refuses to be tainted by war, but there—its sweetness shaped after her mother's loving lullabies, built in her father's effervescent embrace, and fashioned from each of her friends' unconquerable spirits. 

She catches him, fingers winding into the shears in his grasp, and there is nothing for her than to accept.

"So what do you wanna do," she starts, eager to dispel the solemn atmosphere. "Some more layers? A buzz cut? Oh!" she nicks at the air experimentally, gleefully. "How about we just cut everything off?"

"You look way too happy to have an excuse to point that thing at me. That very sharp, very death-inducing thing."

"Shut up!" This time she lets her laughter loose, shoving at him playfully so that he's once again turned to the wooden chabudai. "Seriously," she cajoles until he picks up the mirror and through it, she glimpses his sedate mien. The levity in her demeanor fades, pitch dipping instead to match his contemplative stare. "What do you want?"

"I've been asked that a lot this past year," he sighs, bending his legs into a lotus position before slumping in on himself. "Yet I don't think I've ever really given a straight answer."

Task temporarily forgotten, she abandons the scissors at her feet to squeeze both his shoulders in reassurance. "Well whatever it is, I won't judge, if that's what you're worried about."

"I know. You're a great friend," he leans into her touch, and she beams at both the declaration and the rare show of guileless affection. "Fortune rarely sees fit to favor me but I'm really lucky I get to call you so."

The gravity of his proclamation has distress roiling like a tsunami underneath her skin, tempered only by the tinge of whimsy that weaves itself into his articulation. More curious than concerned now (although the stale taste of it lingers on her tongue), she lets her alarm abate at his unexpected resonance. She folds into a seiza at his left, fingers trailing the stalwart line of his back as she goes before placing them serenely on her lap, in absolute symmetry to their figures from last night. And just like she did then, she does so again now, ears at the ready and heart wide open so she can be the friend he needs, someone deserving of his reverence.

(Someone, she thinks as flickers of retrospection—of fighting against him slowly evolving into fighting with him—burst into brilliant clarity, worthy to be at his side.)

"You asked what I wanted," he rasps, low and tenuous.

He meets her stare and she hopes the encouragement in her chest burns soft like an ember through her eyes, enough to fuel the feeling of safety that ignites all too easily the more they orbit each other's presence. He inhales deep in a way that is familiar from his meditations then releases, a surrender in the exhalation—as if his apprehensions could drift away in the warm gale.

"Peace," he whispers, breaking their connection to look down at his fidgeting hands. The revelation is wrapped in such unfettered fear, as if in admitting the longing he has secured its impossibility instead of the inevitability she knows it to be, and she aches for him. "I want to put a stop to the bloodshed, an end to the suffering of both my people and yours and the rest of the nation. I want there to be a place for my soldiers to come home to. I want my mom," he sighs shakily, "and for no child to ever feel what it's like to lose a parent and for no parent to have to fear for the lives of their children as they're forced to this—this—needless slaughter. I want Toph's parents to see her for the capable woman that she is and for Suki's fellow warriors, her family, to be okay. I wish Sokka's plan succeeds, whatever it may be, and that I could guarantee your father's safety and that of your tribe. I wish my sister wasn't so messed up and that I didn't have to keep relying on my uncle to clean up after me when he's already lost so much to this fight. I wish the Spirits weren't so cruel as to put the fate of the world on the shoulders of a twelve-year old. I wish—I wish I could take back the past year, the past hundred years. I wish I could make up for all of it. I wish…" his gaze darts to her neck, digits hovering just shy of the luminescent pendant there, but not touching. 

"I wish I could bring her back for you." He drops his fingers before he can make contact. His whole body wilts with the motion before he tightens his hand to a fist at his thigh. He shakes his head, craning it towards the ceiling where he directs his smile, devoid of any humor when he adds, "But yeah, a trim should do it."

Her heartbeat is loud in her ears in the wake of the silence his confession inflicts. The weight of his monumental aspirations sits heavy on her chest yet strangely enough, it doesn't leave her shaky. If anything, it strengthens her, grounds her, lends fire to the ice in her veins so when she moves, it's with the lofty grace she knows she possesses but doesn't always feel—the skill of a master and the experience of a hardened soldier encased in her fourteen-year-old bones.

But she is grateful for it anyway, when she positions herself at his back and the scissors don't tremble in her grasp when she loops her fingers around it.

"Yeah," she murmurs right back, smoothing her digits through surprisingly silky locks. "Yeah, I can do that."

She doesn't deign to push her skill given how dim it is—both inside and out, the sun sequestered by its billowing companions like it's taken refuge because it knows the blazing, celestial wildfire to come—and that there isn't much to cut in the first place. His tresses are at that awkward length of too long to be considered short but too short to be tied up into a bun or tail. So she merely evens out what she can, tidying stray tufts and snipping at scraggily ends, grappling at any excuse to keep her hands on him. And when that same excuse runs thin—because there's only so much she can cleave before she makes good on her drollery and indeed hacks it all off—she summons the dew drops hugging the blades of grass from outside the former general's tent. She glides the ribbon of water where her hands cannot reach, siphoning the severed hairs from his person and his clothes, before discarding the soiled glob completely.

"Thank you, Katara," he mumbles, though his focus remains on the distortion his image projects on the once cast-aside mirror, particularly on his marred skin. She wants to do something about the melancholy etching his warped effigy—a stark contrast to the hue of near-tranquility that had painted itself beautifully across his pale, elegant features—so she resumes her place at his left, sitting side-saddle with her left hand propping her up and her legs curved comfortably behind him. She narrows her vision onto his profile—the pucker of his mouth, the acuate bridge of his nose, and the graceful sweep of his jaw—then lays down her query with dogged finality.

"Will you do something for me?"

"Name it," he vows in that inordinately earnest manner of his, his countenance brightening enough to keep the deceitful umbrages at bay, that she feels almost bad for asking. "Name it and it's done."

She tuts. "I can't promise it will make up for everything, and it certainly won't be easy."

"I'm used to the fight." There is no arrogance in his enunciation, only a steeliness and determination that is uniquely Zuko. "I'll do whatever it takes."

"You promise?"

"I swear it, on my uncle's life—my mother's, wherever she may be—my nation—"

"Your honor?"

He chuckles—a little broken, a little watery and not enough amusement—but does accede. "Especially on that."

"Then forgive yourself, Zuko." He drops the looking glass in shock, head abruptly swiveling towards her in a dazzling collision of blue and amber, though she does not cower—her own renowned stubbornness stoking her fortitude when she simply holds his scrutiny. "And live. Live to see your soldiers come home. Live to reunite families, to find your mother. Live long enough to create the peace you seek, and to revel in this new world you will help rebuild, help heal. Because Aang's going to save the world. But you? You're going to change it."

I hope I'm there with you when you do, she wants to say, for he may not be able to alter the past but the future—

The future will be his to shape.

So she blinks back the mysterious haze in her eyes and swallows against the lump in her throat, and teases him instead, "I mean, you're not half as useless as I thought you were after all, so you could definitely do it."

"Your vote of confidence is astounding," his inflection is wry, but she is an excellent student and he had fast become her favorite subject. She knows him, and sees the carefully cultivated rancor for the barrier that it is, hoarding all the anguish and the grief but all that overwhelming love, too, that he is so hesitant to give. And who could blame him? When he's been shunned to darkness for every moment he's attempted to part with his vulnerability. All that radiance too afraid to shine, and she wants to tell him to let the light in.

(If Aang won't kill Ozai then she will convince—not that it would take much—Toph to dig the deepest, murkiest, most rodent-infested hole for the monster who dared to smother his own son's flame.)

"And I guess," she toys with rescinding, then thinks better of it, trading banter for sincerity when she unfurls his still-clenched fist and slides her fingers in the spaces between his. "Maybe I like having you around."

And, oh, but there it is—the soaring of the dawn, and all the exaltation of new beginnings it brings with it, in the exquisite harmony of his golden gaze.

"So," he hums, twirling the tawny ringlet right by her collarbone round his pointer before tucking it behind her ear. She reels with the gesture, tilting into his space. "Forgive myself, huh?"

"And live, of course," she miffs, albeit wetly. "If not for yourself, then for your uncle who loves you dearly." She tips her chin up defiantly, daring him to contradict her. "For all of us, who love you dearly."

"Is that all?" He rolls his eyes but that elusive, frolic quirk toils with his lips. He inclines his head until their noses are but a scant few millimeters apart, buzzing impishly, "Anything else I can do?"

"Actually," she hems, stroking at a badly-hewn strand by his cheek with just a pinch of regret before resolving not to volunteer for the act of cutting his hair again in the foreseeable future. "There is." 

She bites her lip, wondering if she should request it at all before ultimately throwing caution to the wind. "We still have some time. Can we just pretend for a little while…" but no, the thought of ignoring the war even for a few minutes reeks too much of Lake Laogai so she amends. "Just stay here with me, please? Just—" 

She brings their joined hands to his chest where she can sense his heartbeat, as strong and as steady as the soul it vivifies. With the tip of her finger from her other hand, she traces the frame of his too-tense lips until it is slack with repose, trails a featherlight pathway to the outer ridges that make up the border of his scar. 

"Be quiet with me."

Those scorching orbs dance about her visage like the flickers of a candle—except he is more wax than flame when she cups his scabrous flesh, and he melts into her caress.

"I would do it just because you asked," he utters in the most dulcet of notes, and she is honored, for she recognizes the tenderness for the offering that it is. "Whatever happens out there, I'm glad it's you," he sighs, just once more. "I'm glad it's you with me."

"Together," she agrees, chin slumping onto his shoulder for purchase at the alluring giddiness his words incite. She is whirling, unmoored, until the digits of his own free hand anchor at the downy arch of her waist. He nudges, and she ebbs into a pool of untouchable calm on his lap, awash as she is in the current of him.

She closes her eyes, and when he follows suit, content to flow at her pace like he always does in return, a piece of her she hadn't even realized was aslant slots right into place.

They are hours away from the most important battle of their lives, one in which its outcome could very well destine the course of the next hundred years. Katara will not know the caliber of her entreaty, the importance of his promise, until the comet is at its zenith and her life is a paroxysmal brand seared across his middle like a supernova.

But for now, foreheads touching and their fingers seamlessly twined right above his vibrantly thrumming heart, she stows this moment beneath her ribcage, right in that war-untouched trove that pulses to the rhythm of his heart.

They are steeped in stillness, disrupted only by the din of the busy camp, and even that fades away as their breathing syncs.

Somewhere outside, the sun coasts along the heavens, beams of brilliance wrestling against its adumbrate prison. 

The clouds part, feeble rays snagging at the canvas archway of their shelter.

The light pours in.

The shadows recoil.

And together, they shine.

-//////-

AN: okay this was supposed to be an exercise in brevity and restraint but uh, i don't think i succeeded?? but given that my goal was less than 2k and we're clocking this in at 2.8k, all things considered, i see this as an absolute win lmao so if you would be so kind as to let me know if you liked it, that would be stupendous!

come say hi to me!

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #katara #zuko #zutara fan fiction #zutara ff #zutara fluff #zutara friendship #swishandflickwit ff #ngl im so sleepy rn #i posted this instead of sleeping #its all about the forehead touching and the HANDS #zutara owns my life #this is the proof

[nessiancalore]

Nessian one-shot (again bc,why not)

it supposed to be when things are "already okay" once everything that's going to happen in ACOTAR4 happens basing the fact that they would still not be together (yes, my mind went far lol)

hope you don't mind if there's any grammatical errors, English is not my first language.

let's go.

-----------

Nesta

Nesta hated waking up so early. But even if she didn't have to, Cassian did. And he was not quiet when he made those gross breakfasts of his. Thankfully she learned one thing or two about cooking because relying on him to eat would be impossible.

They've been living in this house, rhysand's mother house, for quite a while, and things were better now.After all she faced this past few months, she was now in recovery, and that included training. That she learned to like.

Her and Cassian became friends, of course they still had a few arguments but they decided to try no to for their own sake so...friends. But if there's one thing she could not put aside is the fact that she is attracted to him and that this irritates her.

In her particular morning training,that she asked him for it about a two months ago, when he appears shirtless, and once or twice when she caught him leaving the bathroom with nothing but a towel, the taught of taking that towel away was not easy to avoid.

It felt ridiculous consider that 'a problem' after all the actual problems she (and them) faced but now since things are "normal" — as they could be considering she's fae with powers in a illyrian camp, and when Feyre asked her to go back to Velaris she said no — she couldn't stop thinking about him.

He was the person that never stopped fighting for her sake, and he's good and a buzzard sometimes but he can be very sweet.

And Nesta hated to admit that to herself.

He hasn't stopped being....well... himself. With the "sweetheart" and the suggestions to "easy her tension" that he always did but... That was just him being him. She saw him doing to Morrigan too...But they had that kiss and that moment in her room, but gods that was so long ago.

All that made her very confuse.

Of course she saw him looking at her body too, he's not blind, and Nesta it is very beautiful but that's what most men, males, do...

So, now, there she was, going to training with the guy she...likes.

Because that's what it was, like a ridiculous teenager, Nesta had a crush.

Yes, to consider all the things he means to her and all they've been through, it's WAY more than that, but, let's go easy on the thinking about it so "I really really REALLY like him as a friend and have a... thing... for the other part" that was the best she could do so far is...lying to herself.

Cassian was teaching her a few blows which made both very sweat and a lot of contact between their bodies and before her mind suggested something stupid the female stepped away.

"Tired already sweetheart?"

"I'm not a fight machine, dumbass"

"Alright, let's take...three" he gave a cocky grin.

As she went to get water her shirt was so soaked, she was waiting a fight brasier and the illyrian females did it all the time so, Nesta took out her shirt, leaving her with the top and her illyrian fighting pants, mother they were comfortable.

-----------

Cassian

Was she trying to kill him?

Before, when she had lost that weight, Nesta was still beautiful, of course, but she was sick, and that make him look at her differently once he actually understood what was happening, but right now, she won muscles. She was healthy, almost shinning.

That beautiful body was even more beautiful, if that was possible.

And she just decides to take her shirt like that?!

It was only fare, he did it too..To see how sometimes she would give him a side look, that Nesta thought he wasn't noting, or walking around the house in his towel but still..

He has been keeping away after everything because they've became friends and ruining that would kill him. She's fine, she's healing and beside what he feels, she needs a friend and not a bastard bothering her.

Even though she said herself that he's important to her, she could have meant as friend.

So those shirtless things where just to irritate her, and see how it goals........

"Feeling hot in there Archeon?"

"... Let's just go back to training"

And they did, until she showed him a new move that Laurel, the female illyrian captain, taught her.

Basically trapping your opponent's waist between your legs and involve his neck with your arm, face down.

She did while he stopped to arrange his stripes so he was caught by surprise, and there he has.

In that position.

With a almost bare waist and very sweat Nesta.

-----------

Nesta

She was trying not to think about his body over hers.

The movement was really hard and she wanted to try, so the fae barely tought about the consequences.

"Nice move Archeon"

"So general, how does is feel to be — she tighted her legs around him — beating down by a Fae?"

"Oh If is a female I definitely don't mind"

He could see he wasn't trying to leave but was on alert, waiting for the moment.

So she did the one thing he was probably not expecting, let his head off, but not his waist.

And there he was, staring at her.

"I need you to teach me how to leave from this, Laurel never did"

"Do you really want to?", with a bedroom voice.

And he could be just kidding, if he having gave her that look.

"Why wouldn't I?", barely a whisper.

"I don't know.Why your legs still around me?"

"Why don't you free yourself?"

"You haven't answer my first question. Are these other ones just a distraction?"

"What you think?"

"Another question"

And just like back then, she knew exactly how to answer him.

But this time her hand went to the back of his neck and they've got so close they were sharing a breath.

"I don't want to"

And thank the mother he didn't either.

The kiss started slow, as if he was waiting for her to back away, definitely not what she thought he would do, and even if her heart melted with the gesture, this wasn't the time for cute so se open her mouth to him, to show him what she wanted.

-----------

Cassian

And thank the mother she wanted.

He passed his hands around her and brought her up to his lap, not even bothering where they were, who could come in.

This was Nesta and him only.

He kissed her so strong, once she let him, he thought she might step away, but there she was, spreading that beautiful neck of hers to the male.

He went slow again, for the memory, but once she made a sound, a low one, like it was meat only for him to hear, the male went strong and vicious.After a few minutes he learned a spot that made her moan louder and look at him.

And when those beautiful hands got to his shirt he taught Nesta was going to take it out but no, she shredded, and started to kiss his torso, his neck,his tattoo and it was his turn to make a sound.

-----------

Nesta

He tasted,right.

Everything about him, she wanted, she needed.

He started to kiss her breasts once she was done with his neck and her head went back. It didn't took much to him notice her look at the balcony on the wall behind them, he got up with her let's still around him, almost falling down, making they both laugh a little bit. But the laugh was over again once he learned her against that wall pulled into her mouth again, his tongue was circling hers and she felt his male part growing between her legs, and mother, she wanted.

Once she got to his belt, the fae gave him a look, a question, and he just grabbed her behind — it felt like his hands were meant to be there — and that was answer enough.

Nesta had undone the bottom but they still kept kissing, and he pulled her hair a little bit and she grrined while cursing.

Oh I'll show him how to provoke.

It was going hot, and great, she was about to pull it out from the balcony so that she could...play. But..

"Wait wait " When he pulled her face out, holding her by the neck, she still leaned, but his eyes were closed.

"Is... — gods she was breathless— something wrong?"

"No...shit" he, still eyes closed, placed his fourhead on hers "Rhys is— he gave a deep breath— here"

He called him by mind then.

"..Oh"

Cassian opened his eyes and instead of looking at her mouth of her body, he was looking at her eyes.

"What?"

"I have to go"

"Then..go"

"I don't want to"

"... Me neither" and maybe it was suprise she saw in him but she held his hands and lowered them down interlacing their fingers and kissed him slightly.

They stood like that for a few seconds and then...they laughed.

Maybe is was the almost... you know but... she could see he was blushing.

"So..."

"Yeah.." still laughing she placed her head in his shoulder for a few seconds as he leaned his head in hers.

"I should..."

"You should.." pulling back.

"I'm sorry to ruin your fun", he lifted one eyebrow to her and point down with his eyes.

Cocky son of bitch.

-----------

Cassian

She pulled herself out of the balcony and placed in front of him, wicked look in those beautiful eyes, and ripped out the rest of his shirt off of him.Went for the water and spread some in his hair.Went for his belt to closed again, eyes still in his as those hands slightly, and purposely, touched his warrior. And once he thought she was done the woman, THAT woman licked the water that felt in his lips.

"Now you're good" she whispered

Cassian was a second away from grabbing her and, devour wasn't a enough word for to it, when rhys called him again and he just gave her another kiss before leaving.

-----------

Nesta

And then she smiled.

I kinda like writing, even though I don't I'm actually good yet, but I'll get somewhere soon, hope you guys enjoy some nessian content

bye xoxo.

#sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses #acomaf #acotar #acowar #a court of frost and starlight #a court of mist and fury #acofas #a court of wings and ruin #nessian #nesta x cassian #nesta archeon #cassian

[nikatyler]

Felt like doing some replies the ~ old fashioned ~ way. I should be packing, but I don’t wanna. One good thing about this semester is that I don’t have classes on Monday morning, which means I don’t have to go to Prague on Sunday. But I’ll be once again going home late on Friday -_- Oh well. Maybe I could skip the lecture every once in a while to go home on Thursday afternoon.

I’m scared. Not really of what I’ll have to learn because I know that even if it’s difficult, I’ll probably get it in my brain in the end. Somehow. I’m more scared that once again, I’ll be left alone. I haven’t really found a stable friend group. I mean, I talk to some people sometimes, but I wouldn’t call it a friendship. One friend that I thought I could rely on doesn’t even bother saying hello to me anymore. I don’t know what I did to him, he just stopped talking to me. But maybe it’s for the best. Even when we still talked, I couldn’t believe how judgemental he was, and I often wondered if he talks about me like that too when I can’t hear it. He probably did. Oh well, I’ll see what I can do. I hope I’ll run into someone who is kinda like my best friend from high school.

As for sims stuff, I know I still owe some things to some people and I feel bad about it. You’ll get it eventually. I’m actually looking forward to doing it too. Makeovers are fun. I’d also like to release some more sims, I have one more sim dump and then some old legacy characters I want to share, plus some BC contestants that didn’t make it. They like to get eliminated in the first rounds.

Also, thanks for the comments on my mental health update post. I’ll see how this turns out and if it doesn’t get any better (I’m kinda hoping that better weather brings better mood, it worked before), I’ll start looking for a therapist or something. No offense to my parents but talking to them about this didn’t help in a slightest. They just don’t get it. And I swear I’m not reverting back to the “I’m an edgy misunderstood teenager” phase. Even though “edgy misunderstood teenager” is an aesthetic I still live for. Whatever that means.

And thanks for the tips on the laptop post. I’ll keep them in mind and I’ll probably ask again when the time comes and I actually buy a new one.

Ahh...I guess that’s it? Replies under the cut. As per usual, they’ll probably be the shorter part of this post, but oh well.

abysims  replied to your photoset  “Let’s find Lilith Vatore some love! In my game, I’ve had Lilith in a...”

Honestly Cassandra and Lilith would be amazing (... In my Glimmerbrook Academy story Cass is actually gonna have a huge crush on Lilith so I'm voting for that, yas!)

Ooooh that sounds great! Also, I’ll have a post announcing the results of the post coming up later, either today or tomorrow, but...spoiler alert: Cassandra might have won ;)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Simmer - Get to Know”

Lol this thing with Mermaids made me remember that when my friend and I were like 12 years old, a 6-year-old made her a "proposal" and we answered him that she'll marry him when he buys her a house by the sea in Prague

Omg sea in Prague sounds kinda cool, my faculty would be so close to the beach *-* Haha but at the same time it’s kinda terrifying, where would the sea come from? From the north? From the south? Would that mean my home doesn’t exist? Or, actually, considering my town was built on a big hill, would that mean I live on an island? And which part of Prague would be under the sea and which one would stay?

Sorry, I got distracted thinking of this AU where my country actually has access to the sea :D But we used to have it, back in like I think 12th or 13th century. We’re wayyyy smaller now.

amuhav replied to your post “Me, looking up some specs of my current laptop: you're...you're...”

If it's anything like me with my first 'gaming' laptop, the store clerk basically straight up lied to me about how good it was, and I was too young and naive to know better �� sims 3 almost burnt that thing to a crisp ������

Lmao I have a similar story with my first laptop, we were told that it has this super amazing graphic card...and it wasn’t amazing at all, as I later learned when my laptop broke.

amuhav replied to your photoset “Sims Moodboard Challenge I was tagged by @blurrypxls,...”

Oh no... don't make me want to go back to pinterest and do more of these �� They're ADDICTIVE

THEY ARE! I haven’t done much today, but I’ve spent a lot of time there all through this last week.

amuhav replied to your photo “I need to stop. This is more addictive than scrolling through memes....”

Pssst, not to enable or anything, but Picasa 3 has this nice feature where you can take a bunch of pics and it makes them into a nice collage. That's how I made mine, and then used them as my desktop backgrounds ��

I think I’ll use Photoshop, like I do for everything else, but thanks for giving me an idea for my new background! I used to have my sims or some other characters set as a background, but now that I take my laptop to school I feel a bit uncomfortable with that, so since October I’ve had this kinda boring background and I’ve been meaning to change it into something nicer, I just didn’t know what to put there. Now I do.

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Sunset: “How dare you pretend you’re Father Winter?” Father Winter:...”

Holy crap, Sunset is a lot more buff than I ever realized. Those arms! ��

Yup. That’s because she has to get her Athletic skill higher for work. I think her muscle slider might be at max, actually!

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Father Winter: “That’s it! You’re going on my Naughty List. Your...”

How could she not with with muscles like that?? Damn his Christmas magic!

Next time we should just call Caleb. I mean, he defeated Grim Reaper with no problem, surely Father Winter won’t be any more difficult for him!

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Okay, cool. You won’t give us gifts but I have a special one...”

Lmaoooooo, get him, Sunset! ������

He deserves it

asplashofsims replied to your photo “~ daylight”

Cute picture! ♡ I hope you feel better soon and omgg winx club, it's my guilty pleasure for sure hahah all the childhood memories��

I love Winx Club so much. It’s a little ridiculous and the plot holes are terrible (and don’t let me talk about anything after season 4, those are not my Winx D:), but I can’t let it go.

blubrich replied to your post “I forgot how traumatizing Toy Story 3 was ��”

Especially the ending! ��

YES. I remember the whole cinema was crying.

Also, Toy Story always unpacks this weird guilt in me haha. Because as a child, naturally I was like “I would NEVER abandon my toys, I’ll keep them forever!”. And now...they’re in boxes...under my bed and in the basement...some of them I gave away or to my younger sister, who then also gave some away because she’s fifteen now. I still have my plushies and teddy bears in my bed though, it would be too empty without them :D

silverspringsimmer replied to your audio post “(via...”

I love Within Temptation and they got me into heavier music later, too!

I don’t even remember how I found them. I was just bored of the music I was listening to all the time back then, so I clicked through playlists and stuff on Spotify and somehow I landed on their page, I guess. And I immediately fell in love.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your audio post “(via...”

Oh this song was the first song of this bad which I heard! It was also 5-6 years ago.though I do not listen to them often these days.

I think the first song I heard was What Have You Done, which I liked and still like very much, but then I heard this one and went kinda crazy because it just sounded so epic and exactly what my poor slightly depressed fifteen years old soul needed. In one day, I completely switched from pop to metal and it took me a few years to appreciate my old favourite music again. (I know that I say all the time that I’m a Taylor Swift stan, but actually I only really started LOVING her music again last year.)

I’ve always thought that it’s kinda funny that in my Music class, for the first semester I prepared a project about Taylor Swift. In the second semester, that changed, the old pop loving Ronnie was dead, and my new project was about Within Temptation :D But I remember that I was actually upset that day, I chose to show my classmates the video of What About Us and they didn’t appreciate it. And then after me, my other classmate had a project about some singer who had this weird song about getting high. They wanted to replay it. I was so bitter, in my head I was like “this song that I showed you has an interesting meaningful message and you’d rather listen to a song about drugs, how dare you?! You’re absolutely terrible!”

Yeah. I mean, I get it today, but I was so, so bitter.

amuhav replied to your audio post “(via...”

I recently found out they had a new album out (and Nightwish had a new single out too ��) and early 2000s emo teenage me immediately surfaced and threw money at my screen!

Ahhhh I’ve basically had Noise on repeat since it came out, I love it so much! And the video is cool too. I can’t wait to hear the whole album. Nightwish never disappoints, I hope I’ll one day get to see them live. I’ve had a few chances but then it never worked out.

#replies #abysims #tiny-tany-thaanos #amuhav #fataleromeo #asplashofsims #blubrich #silverspringsimmer

[iwritethat]

Damian Wayne: Lost - Part 2

Request: Please could you do a second part to lost? I’m hooked lol

A/N: I think I’ll see where I can take this, hope you enjoy.

Warnings: Cursing, blood references

>>>>——————————>

~ Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~

You hated them, more than anything else. You couldn't remember a time when the Titans meant anything to you - they left you to die only to save themselves. And they had the audacity to call themselves your teammates? Your friends?

Not anymore. Not ever again. You made sacrifice after sacrifice for them to receive a blazing demise in exchange, you'd dealt with constant insolence from Robin and taken orders from Nightwing and Kori and for what?

The Fearsome Five were the ones you awoke to, the ones who you'd immediately seen as allies and who you'd now protect just as they'd done for you after they’d rescued you from the explosion.

.

The Titans had a knack for getting involved in circumstances that didn’t concern them, missions you didn’t need the distractions on and in time it became a commodity to formulate strategies that welcomed their presence allowing you to finish what you’d started, thus substituting them as nothing more than pawns in your game. You could take a majority of them on one-vs-one and with the assistance of the Fearsome Five it became easier. It was almost as if you relied on muscle memory, having little to no recollection on each members fighting style after the explosion, it seemed your body remembered for you. However Robin was the exception, he knew each of your attack strategies and countered them all perfectly - it remained unknown how he could know someone so well, it was a dance, a connection deemed almost intimate regardless of the circumstance. Yet you couldn’t view him as anything but your enemy. He’d try, telling you what you used to be, a hero, a friend, one of them - you denied it each time, claiming that you were not who he’d remembered you to be.

So when you came face to face with Robin for what you had swore would be the final time, all you could think about was what his blood would look like decorating your silver blade. You'd never had that instinct before, it'd always been a last resort so why now had it chosen to become second nature? Why did it consume every other thought you’d attempt to manifest? You’d held back the urge for so long but after getting a mind splitting headache and receiving medication from Jinx it seemed more compulsive compared to before. You hadn't the chance to question yourself, memory screaming for you to stop thinking and act like you were meant to. Like you were told to do.

Your blade span, Robin mildly uneasy with the developing offence. However, although he may be somewhat superior in combat one exploration you could abuse was the fact that he still cared deeply for you, or rather the person he hoped you’d become again. You’d taken note, how his defence would fall whenever you were in pain - mainly caused by his tales of the past, any attempt to recall them caused headaches. Damian would move to hold you, to comfort you but would ultimately stop himself knowing that you weren’t an ally to them anymore.

"Haven’t you broke their control yet (Y/n)?!"

"You have no right to assume such a thing!" You’d heard this question from him previously, he said it as if he was waiting for you to do so.

"I have every right and deep down you know that or else you would’ve killed me already or better yet disclosed our identities!" His argument made you consider that, why hadn’t you?

"This time I will not make that mistake."

"Please come back, you can’t let them control you anymore...” Though you could hear the frustration in his tone, there was sincerity behind it.

"Ah so you can leave me to die again? No thank you Robin." You rolled your eyes, voice like venom that visibly took Robin offguard if only briefly. It had hurt.

"Leave you - never. How could you even think that I'd want you out of my life? (Y/n)! I fought Nightwing and Raven to get back to you, but I failed. And for that you have my deepest apologies." Damian would always argue with you, that would never change no matter which side of the battle you were on but this was more emotional spat than your last.

"Is that all? An apology, I know how hard that must been for you Damian Wayne. Too bad you're going to fail again hm?" Once more your sarcasm flowed freely, hoping that your cold statements would be enough to prevent any further attempts at helping you. It felt like the only defence you had sometimes.

Damian glared at you, only growing more resentful of your new perspectives on justice and who you’d deemed worthy of your trust through this controlled state of yours. "I'm not giving up on you!"

"Didn't stop you last time."

"(Y/n) this is not who you are! You don't kill your friends, you save them, you value life and see the light in people - I admired you for that, I admired you for never giving up on me and it was because of you, only you, that I stayed on this Team in the beginning. If not for you I'd have been long gone by now." The bird explained, he’d never admit that under any other pressure, he’d once brought it up stating that he stayed early on soley to annoy you but this was different and you knew that. It was just a shame it meant nothing.

"You really think this is going to prevent me from killing you and doing right by the HIVE my dear Robin?"

"I don't know, but I want you to come back. To break through whatever spell they've got you under (Y/n). Come back to me..." The last part was quieter, but it hit you hard - right where you were told not feel anything.

"I - a spell? It’s not like that, they trust me... Although I cannot understand why I continue to let you live, or haven’t divulged valuable information... They have asked and yet by default I tell them that I do not know... I can feel that I’m lying but cannot fathom why... Maybe I am being cont- ARGHHH!" Truly what you were considering felt like the truth, and it mentally pained you to even think of the possibility but you had to try. Although, you had ulterior motives for bringing yourself to the edge this time...

.

"(Y/n)?!" As predicted, because this was the worst spike he’d seen, Robin was by your side in an instant, catching your figure before you hit the solid concrete. There was a strong wave of guilt before you did it, holding the vigilante as tears involuntarily escaped your eyes and what seemed to be heartbreak overtook your system. Your voice however, remained cruel.

“It’s (v/n), (Y/n) is dead just as you will be.”

"I always told you that you couldn't beat me, I suppose you've proven me wrong... ah- damnit (Y/n) but I’m not going down until you’re free." You didn’t have much time to register the meaning of his words, his hand gently moved to the back of your neck and it oddly relaxed you, eyes softening as he gazed into them - then came the tearing of flesh and you screamed like a siren, it was ear piercing and Damian pulled you to his shoulder in order to comfort you despite the blood dripping from you neck.

"Robin you - you bastard, what did you do that for?!" Your shout was aggressive, cursing your friend as you felt him smirk out of pride. God you forgot what an asshole he could be.

“Firstly, I’m the blood son - don’t forget that! But as it happens, this device was attached to your nervous system, HIVE were using it to control you and your automatic command was to protect it at all costs, but rattling your memory a little was distracting enough for me to detach it.” He calmly responded, offering you the tiny gadget responsible for your lack of free will.

“Detach? That’s what you call ripping it from under my skin and making me bleed. Great thanks pal, although everything is coming back.” Your sarcasm contradicted your actions as you embraced him, he relaxed with your familiar presence alone and having you in his arms so intimately was all he’d wanted since you’d disappeared. Maybe things could repair themselves now that your memories and feelings could return, that you were once again yourself - however, maybe you wouldn’t be the same once he was gone.

“I forgot how insufferable you were...” His tone was softer, and as you pulled away you felt a warm liquid reach your skin, your fingertips laced with scarlet and your expression immediately dropped with your hand shaking uncontrollably as soon as you recognised the substance. Damian caught your hand, brought your gaze back to him rather than what you had seen.

“Please...” Was the only breath that escaped your lips, tone barely audible as it vanished with the wind.

.

"Please what?"

"Please - please don't die..." You allowed yourself to cry now, as you’d looked at the fatal stab you’d inflicted whilst under the HIVEs orders moments ago. The guilt was overpowering and you couldn’t handle the flood of feelings you had toward the Titan before you nor the lack of time you had to express them like he deserved.

"Is that not what you wanted 2 seconds ago?" His tone was arrogant, a hand wiping away your flowing streams and you knew this display of mockery was solely to support you.

"Yes... no... I didn’t want to, I never thought I would! Oh god, I’ve murdered one of the only people I care about - I - I should have died in that fire!" You instantly broke down, not knowing where to put your hands but brought him closer to you as you desperately attempted to apply pressure, leaving the dagger in place to prevent excess blood loss.

"No (Y/n), there was so much I wanted to say, ironically I'd thought we'd have more time together despite our lifestyles." He was growing weaker, that’s why he’d began with something so uncharacteristic, like he knew this might be the last time the opportunity arose.

"Damian! I'm - so sorry! Please - forgive me I can't lose you - not you..." It was rare to see you beg, even rarer for you to do so in front of him, for him even. But in this case he’d understood, and he didn’t wish to leave you either but fate had other choices, even if you were the one to end his life, part of him wouldn’t want it be anyone else.

"You're such a beautiful imbecile, you know that I love you don’t you?" His words left you breathless, unable to process your next actions with the sheer whiplash to your feelings once more - instead you give a sympathetic smile, you lied him down for his own comfort as well as for you to get better access and restrict the bleeding.

"I - Damian, you can tell me after okay! I did this - I hurt you! You’re supposed to hate me! I'm so incredibly sorry, I couldn't control it - oh god, please don't leave me!" You we’re whimpering now, tears already mixing with his blood and all he could do was shake his head, drawing your attention back to him and not the injury.

"Your smile, the way you never gave up on me, I may not be in love with you as I never had the opportunity to tell you how I felt nor display it with affection and I suppose that's partly my fault. But I think if I'd have done so, if you'd have reciprocated and allowed me to walk by your side then I truly believe I'd have fallen in love with you and I'd hope you could have felt the same for me... ah I don't know how long I can keep this up (L/n), you better be getting this..." His thumb gently wiped a tear from your cheek before moving to your jawbone, you leant into his warm touch, eyes closing and mentally engraving the feeling into your memory if this truly was the last time.

"I am I swear, I promise you and I don't break a promise - not to you, never you. Please stay with me, Damian I need you, I need you so badly - don't let me be the one to kill you!" He’d met your forehead with his, a silent gesture expressing more than words ever could, a display of the undying connection that you shared. If anyone could bring you back from the brink you knew it’d be him and you were right, the only regret you had is that you couldn’t do the same. If this was goodbye, then you decided it would be a worthwhile one and using the already close proximity, you tilted your head and carefully placed a soft kiss to his lips. You felt him smirk, as you separated he moved up to meet you, his hand already on the back of your neck pulling you toward him again and this one was longer, leaving no words left to be said between you. But his breathing was fading, heartbeat slowing as you entangled your fingers in the fabric of his cloak, willing him to stay a little longer.

"I need you too, I need you to be fine. You always have been and the Titans will be there for you (Y/n), even if I’m not."

Just as he'd said that, they arrived, seeing you hunched over Robin with your signature blade centimetres away and crimson seeping from the scene - they instantly panicked, missing the tears that fell as your fingers ran from his neck to his chest whilst you whimpered pleas of life to their Teammate. Instantly, as an impulse reaction you were banished from Damian courtesy of Raven, your back slamming into the concrete with a painful crack. You screamed in reply, desperately ravaging Ravens dark restraints, begging them to let you get to Damian one last time - you watched as they each broke down as well, Dick falling to his brothers side whispering apologies, you’d watched as your actions left a team of powerful people so broken and helpless. Your voice fell on deaf ears, apologies lost in the midst of their grief and soon enough your own consciousness was taken from you as well.

Maybe a fate had its own plans for you.

~~~

Tags: @geniusesdontneedsleep

#damian wayne #damian wayne imagine #damian wayne x reader #dc #dc imagine #robin #robin imagine #robin x reader #teen titans

[ghostmeep]

Random things from chapter 370 that I don’t want people to miss about Haikyuu!! because Furudate is a GeINuS

Some important moments, but also a lot of not so important moments loll

(warning: excessive use of exclamation points and improper capitalization)

First up is the title of the chapter

Challenger — I think this sets up nicely the tone of what is to come.

The challenger in question is Hinata — as the main character, but also based off what Coach Ukai senior said

Hinata is basically a challenger against life — he’s short, and he hasn’t had as much opportunities to learn and develop in volleyball as other people — but he’s not letting go of his volleyball dream.

I’m too lazy to get the screencap of it, but before during the imitation youth camp at Shiratorizawa — they said how Hinata being an ‘uninvited party’ may be how he will be for the rest of his life — that is exactly what happened. Hinata didn’t get offers straight out of high school like Kageyama did — so he found his own path to be able to play volleyball. I can’t wait to see how much better Hinata got.

Okay, I’m sure many people are super psyched about Captain Yamaguchi — and I am too!!!!!!! Because Yamaguchi deserves the wOrlD and I can just imagine how much more confident our little baby grew up to be!!! How he is not afraid to call people out on their shit but he’s also the softest captain ev e r

But also can we talk about Vice Captain Kageyama??????????

Like, it’s always been a headcanon of mine to have Captain Yamaguchi and Vice Kageyama, but I didn’t think it would actually become canon??????? I knew that Yamaguchi was basically certain as captain, but I thought Tsukishima would end up his vice since they are so close and work well together. BUT IT’S KAGEYAMA AND I’M SO PROUD

Because also remember what number he wore in middle school third year

#2 — now, not all schools make their Vice Captain the #2 — but it is highly likely Kageyama was vice during his middle school years as well.

SOO I can just imagine Kageyama getting this number and thinking of his middle school days and how he is going to do so much bETTeR this time around.

How, well maybe the first years would be afraid of him at first, but they’ll quickly come to see his dorky side that just loves volleyball so very much. And how now Kageyama can actually communicate and see his spikers, instead of being reduced to saying ‘faster!’ ‘higher!’ on repeat. How little baby first years will come up to him, ask him if he could teach them out to do something, and Kageyama aGrEEInG (and not rejecting in childish manner coughOikawacough) and Kageyama just stumbling with his explanations and onomatopoeias aoweiaoiwenawe

hhhhhhhhh i wished we were shown Good Senpai Kageyama awoienawieawe

!!! Also, Hinata has #5 (#4 is probably the libero) — can you imagine him taking a pic and sending it to Tanaka all proud like saying that he’ll do the number 5 jersey proud like his senpais before him awoeinawoienawien

Yeah, just please appreciate this page pls aoweinaowieNAOWEIn

But also! Kageyama is wearing Karasuno jersey on top and then Japan one on the bottom — nice juxtaposition Furudate-sensei!

Hinata!!!!!!!!

People have pointed out how this is a recall of the beginning of the series where Hinata saw the little giant on TV — and y ES — but also!!!! Look at the size of his bag aoweinawoien look at him traveling everywhere by bike still.

This isn’t little baby Hinata who is just running around with his friends playing random sports — this is in the making volleyball player Hinata. He must have build some serious muscle aaaaaaaa

Just wanted to make clear!!! Hinata agreeing to go to Rio wasn’t just because of the coach being there — even before he heard about the possible coach in Rio, he learned that Brazil is strong in beach volleyball. So not only is there a coach willing to take him on, it’s at a place full of strong players.

Hinata agreeing to go to Roi just seemed kinda sudden to me, but I do think he gave it serious thought. 

Hinata seems like he mostly grew out of his brash, unthinking self from the beginning of the series and I wanted to point that out in case others missed it.

I don’t think anyone missed HInata’s Karasuno jersey hanging — but I don’t think it is there just for sentimental reasons (though I’m sure that is def a part of it)

But Hinata probably uses it as a reminder and for motivation. Karasuno was where he truly began to develop as a volleyball player. It’s where he realized that just because he can jump high doesn’t mean he can play volleyball. He needs to learn to be able to do everything (which is why he’s in Rio)

It’s also where he got to know Kageyama, ofc. Kageyama his ultimate rival that he is still aiming to beat (again, Hinata as a challenger) So I think seeing this jacket just motivates Hinata more than it being there just for memories

aowienaowine just wanted to say I approve of all the one piece mangas Hinata has as a fellow one piece fan aoweinaoiwen

!!! It snowed recently before their graduation

Now, I’m sure absolutely no one is surprised that these two dorks are playing volleyball rIGHT after their ceremony

BuT can we talk about how Kageyama’s serve is strong enough to make Hinata tumble like that oawienaoiwneae

Sure, Hinata used to tumble all the time when receiving — but that was because he couldn’t get proper footing and didn’t know how to receive. This HInata is not like that (look at his concentrated face!!) plus his tumble is exactly like Noya’s tumble whenever he received strong serves/spikes.

Really, both of them grew up so much aaaaaaaaaa

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,IgnoRinG the HAiR

Lol no, in all seriousness, I don’t mind Kageyama’s hair too much. It seemed awful when I first saw it, but honestly the more I look at it the more (exasperatedly) fond of it I get.

It’s like, please don’t let Kageyama ever make life decisions (outside of volleyball) on his own. But when he does, you can’t help but accept whatever horrible decision it was and just want to pat him on the head and tell him he still did good awoeinaweoinawoein

BUT moST iMpoRtaNTLY!!! Look at that smile!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Now, I know that this doesn’t mean that Kageyama can smile on command, but his unconscious smile at the very least are a loT SofTer

Honestly, smiling is just about muscle memory. So!!! The fact that his smiles are so much softer and less awkward and sharp means he did a lot of smiling over the past two years awoienaowieanw i’m glad Kageyama has had reason to smile!!!!!!!!! pls we need more soft smiling Kageyama

Hinata having such a cheesy sign in his room is honestly kinda funny to me, but it suits him

The ‘single step’ was mentioned before in Haikyuu as well, at least twice in fact.

First was with Kageyama doing serves to Hinata that first time. And how Hinata was very obviously tired but he kept receiving again and again.

And again the ‘single step’ was brought up when Karasuno made the conscious decision to have someone from the backline back up so that they can catch the volleyballs that are knocked back after hitting the blockers. ( I thinkkkk in the Shiratorizawa game??? not sure ) I don’t feel like searching for the screencap, but yeah.

It was basically how they weren’t going to rely on just the fast reflexes of Nishinoya and Hinata saving those flyaway balls anymore, and how they will take that extra ‘single step’ to make those ‘miracle plays’ into a regular thing.

So since the ‘single step’ motif has been used a lot, I do think the quote suits Hinata more and appreciate it being there.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is really it??

It seems some people aren’t really happy about this timeskip and are saying how it all seemed rushed, but I don’t really think that way.

If anyone, it seems like the readers are the ones in a rush. Since everyone wants to just see how all the characters are like after five years, or just wants to know if Fukuroudani won nationals — people are just kinda glazing over Furudate’s actual pacing.

So far we got a pretty nice understanding of what happened, and I’m sure there are more details that will be given later. But for now we have enough to not be confused, and we are given many hints about the developments that Hinata and the other original first years went through.

So yeah, I dunno. I still love Haikyuu!! and I love Furudate and trust that we’ll be given the same great content that we have been getting for the past years.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu spoilers #haikyuu 370 #my stuff

[serenagaywaterford]

are you willing to post the first chapter of your sequel at all? i’m dying to read more of your serena/ june works and i’ll take ANYthing you’ve got haha

Honestly... I can’t. It’s just... I feel like I don’t wanna post that if I’m gonna post anything cos it’s very much a transitional chapter. And it’s long lol.

Maybe a part that isn’t super spoilery?

Context: June POV now. I really prefer writing Serena (and find it a lot more organic), but I wanted to challenge myself and approach it from a different angle. June’s voice is so much more difficult for me.

----

Awkwardness is not unfamiliar territory for the two of you, and this appears to be no exception. Something in your chest is tight with want, you think. It hurts anyway and the only possible solution you are considering is physically moving closer to her, but your muscles resist. There's something off about her, and in all honesty, you're not totally okay with the whole “Serena Joy Waterford of all fucking people is my... well, whatever she is.” No word is ever sufficient, and as an editor, that lack of applicable vocabulary should be humiliating, so you write it off as a limitation of the English language instead. 

There's probably a word for it in German. There's always a word in German. All the same, you've never been okay with it, because there's a snarling voice that nags in the back of your mind about how much you can't fucking stand her.

But it's a tiny voice, and it gets weaker each day. Especially when she touches you, when she whispers your name, when she smiles at your daughters. 

You suppose that’s just how memory works, doesn’t it? You lose a little bit every day, until even the bad things get worn down, their once sharp edges becoming dull and soft. Blood-letting gives way to soft bruises, and eventually to nothing much at all. Just a ghost of a kiss, spectre of a pinch. It’s easier to live with that way, to just wear the edges down and put them aside. Old knives in a drawer somewhere.

But it doesn’t happen equally, or all at once. The good memories and even the neutral ones, the everyday occurrences, those ordinary and often mundane moments take on a sort of nostalgic flair, steeping them in a spirit they lacked in the beginning. Some of these become sharper, brighter, embroidering them with meaning and endearing your own imaginings to your mind.

Perhaps it’s just a mechanism of self-preservation but it’s this way with Serena. The uncomfortable memories, the violence and pain that once were immediate and real, fade into a murky grey netherworld. Meanwhile, the ordinary are imbued with more substance than they should have. You consume these new versions of the past like air itself. As you squint, the humdrum becomes the holy with the long passage of time, with her, and with the unrelenting longing you have.

Slowly, you inch out from under the blankets and shift over to where she sits, quietly, patiently. It's not the first time you've sat in silence, side by side, on a bed. It's sort of like a thing of yours. A particular something that you two just do. This time however, you don't reach for her hand. It's always you doing the comforting and asking and reaching out. Sometimes it would be nice for it to be the other way around. Maybe it's petty of you because you know she's a bit out of it, exhausted, and certainly she could use it, but if she won't open up and speak about why she's suddenly here in your bedroom at midnight, why should you?

You have a thousand questions about everything that's happened but she's unwilling to talk to you about it. In a sense, you're fine with the silence because you and Serena have always existed more between the things you don't say. Despite being two women whose entire existences prior to Gilead relied entirely on words, it was the quietness, the touches of skin on skin in the dark, the cold glares, the slow clench of a jaw or fist that, those were what enveloped your language instead of words.

Nothing much has changed except the nature of the silence.

Her gaze shifts from a blank stare at the wall to your face, and there are the unshed tears that she's defiantly holding back, her lips set tightly. It's not the first time you've seen that look; uncomfortable nostalgia calls back to that horrible house in Gilead. Serena never debased herself to ask for help or comfort, even if she came to you first. She would just stare at you with those pathetic, misty puppy dog eyes, cheeks sometimes covered with tears, and hoped you make the first move, and every single time, you had. You would ask if she's okay, she'd play the silent pity card, and you'd move towards her. Perhaps that's just how you work, like magnets, you're inexorably attracted to her weakness just as she's attracted to your strength. How awful that would be if it's true.

She's such a pain in the ass.

Again, like always, you attempt to resist but fail after a while. (She wins.) Rage suits her features so much better, not this pathetic, bumbling misery. 

Maybe it's a subtle revenge but you don't take her hand, not this time. You reach out and glide your fingers lightly across the swell of her abdomen where the baby is before resting your palm against her. You focus on the unborn fetus, not the woman herself. Something about it makes your skin crawl when you role-play this way and you're mystified about how easily she could do this for months on end.

There are no prayers you want to recite, like she did when she first crawled into your bed at night, like a predator. Instead, you whisper, “Hello in there. How are you, baby?”

#????? is this good enough??? #i dunno my dudes #it's a draft still #i am trying i swear. #but it's taking forever cos i get like 10 minutes a day to write #Anonymous

[itsclydebitches]

For the Ozqrow prompts can them hugging be a thing? After this episode I feel like those boys need a damn hug. Or maybe couples therapy and communication...

I’m so not equipped to be the one dishing out therapy for these two lol. But behold! The Argus trip that absolutely, totally happened! (Also less “Ozqrow” and more “Wholesome family feels” since Oscar ended up getting involved - sorry if that’s not what you were looking for! :o) 

You did well out there.

Oscar shut his eyes, taking a moment to just let the words wash over him. With the grimm dead and behind them he could now feel a fierce ache settling into his limbs; the pounding of a bruise where his aura had broken while trying to scramble to safety. He was so thirsty he could barely swallow and his hands were numb with cold—except they blossomed with pain as soon as he packed the cane back up and slipped it onto his belt. Oscar had a headache. He had adrenaline still pumping through his veins. He had the vague sense that he knew all these feelings intimately, even though they were rather strange to a former farmhand.

He had pride that he’d done that.

As you should. Ozpin’s voice floated easily on the top of his mind today, crisp and clear. Your speed has increased immensely. As has the control over your aura.

“And I’m not attacking dust-infused murderers head on…”

The hum Oscar felt was simultaneously supportive and vaguely amused. Getting your ass kicked so hard that all you could do was lie in bed for three days gave a guy plenty of time to chat with the voice in his head, and those chats had revolved primarily around the topic of How to Judge When a Fight Will Get You Killed. It had taken Oscar about 48 hours and plenty of sniping… but he could admit now that he’d been a little hasty in trying to take on Hazel by himself.

Everything was just so complicated.  

On that, at least, we can agree. But take heart, Oscar. You stood your ground today and you won.

“We won.”

And yes, a vague impression of Ozpin was included in the group that Oscar instinctually thought of. Having Jaune boost Ren’s aura had been a fantastic idea, allowing the grimm farther back to drop off completely, no longer drawn by the relic and a mass of terrified people. Relying on Weiss’ ice was another—they didn’t need to kill these grimm, just keep them from catching up. She’d captured wings and tails against the mountainside, Ruby shouting something about good times as she cut through the rest. Oscar hadn’t really followed it.

Ms. Schnee kept a Nevermore contained during initiation, giving the rest of her future team time to dispatch it. Ozpin’s voice reverberated with pride. A remarkable feat for an incoming student, considering the timing that move required. Ms. Schnne has always had a particular talent for precision.

“Weiss.”

…I’m sorry?

“You’re living in my head and I’m living with them. You should probably drop the formalities. I mean,” Oscar shrugged. “It’s not like you’re their headmaster anymore.”

Oh. He hadn’t meant that to sound so mean. He felt the brief flash of pain and regret and want that flowed through them… and then Ozpin reigned it all back in. Oscar was left with a hand pressing against his head and a voice trying desperately to sound chipper.

Perhaps you’re right.

“Hey, kid! Don’t go fainting on me.”

Qrow wound his way through the train’s passengers, many of them blocking the flow as they stopped to stare at Oscar. They’d all felt the first hit from the grimm of course, heard the defense mechanisms winding up, but they probably hadn’t expected one of their saviors to be a short-statured boy still dressed for the farm. Oscar sheepishly kicked the rest of the snow off his boots as Qrow finally made it to his side.

He had a martini in hand. With an orange slice.

We just got in, Oscar thought, barely managing to keep from saying it aloud. In the back of his mind a familiar warning built and Oscar pinched their shared arm because yeah, yeah, they’d been over this. He’d grown up in a family where everyone worked dawn to dusk and where potential mishap—a flooded field, a cattle’s breach birth, even a grimm attack—meant that everyone had to be clearheaded. Always. His aunt had never approved of drinking and frankly neither did Oscar… no matter how much Ozpin was willing to give Qrow a free pass.  

We retain our separate opinions on the matter. Ozpin’s voice was once more tinged with a thread of amusement and…okay. Yeah. That was oddly reassuring.

Oscar’s shoulders slumped. “I’m just tired,” he said.

“You and me both. Like this month needed to get any crazier, huh?” Qrow took a long sip of his drink, but his eyes never left Oscar. They traveled from his soaked pants up into windblown hair. Then they narrowed. “You’re gonna freeze to death like that long before we hit Atlas. Go change. Then the squirts are all gathering in Ruby’s room to play video games. Wanna help me kick their ass?”

It sounded fun… though only in a theoretical way. Play video games with a bunch of kids his own age? Yeah. That’d be great. Oscar had often thought about that on the farm, what it would be like to go to school and make friends and just have someone other than his aunt around—

(I’m here.) 

—but Oscar also knew that they’d already tried this. Everyone was nice while training, but then they’d all go off in their own groups when it was time to relax. They weren’t ignoring him exactly. They just didn’t seem to think he fit. And Oscar got it. He hadn’t gone to Beacon, or experienced the things that bound them all together. He wasn’t a member of a team. And it probably didn’t help that every time he walked into a room people got awkward with the automatic adult who joined them.

…I’m sorry.  

“Alright, alright, you’ve convinced me.”

Oscar blinked. “What?”

“No, don’t worry, this dusty old crow doesn’t need to hear anymore. C’mon then.”

Qrow had set his drink on the small window-ledge. He was blocking the hallway now, standing with his feet planted and his arms slightly raised at his sides. The pose seemed at once exaggerated and familiar to him—though this time Oscar couldn’t tell if that was a familiarity on his end or Ozpin’s. A vague, embarrassed, grumbling sort of feeling suggested the latter.

“Jeez you’re bad at this,” Qrow said when he’d apparently stood still a moment too long. The next thing Oscar knew he was being pulled roughly against Qrow’s chest, the smell of alcohol and sweat overwhelming. He instinctually pushed back and Qrow’s arms tightened a fraction. Oscar paused.

He did smell like alcohol… but smoke too. Not cigarette smoke, but something woodsier; like Qrow had recently sat near a fire. With the initial shock gone Oscar could admit that Qrow’s shirt was a whole lot softer than it looked and his arms were a rather comforting weight around his back and shoulders. His aunt never hugged like this. She was light and quick, pulling Oscar quickly to her side before pushing him back out again. Qrow was solid—he was warm—and Oscar found himself instinctually relaxing against what felt like an immovable pillar; the one sturdy object amongst all this craziness. His hands inched up around Qrow’s waist and buried in the fabric he found there.

“There you go,” Qrow chuckled, moving one arm up to ruffle Oscar’s hair. Qrow felt him tense and immediately returned the limb to its former position, a clear statement of: I’m not pulling away. “I’ve got two nieces, kid. I know when a squirt needs a hug. Granted, Ruby usually just hangs off my arm and Yang prefers piggybacks. But it all amounts to the same. Besides, I used to do this for—”

Qrow paused, sighing.

Me.

The merge was a slow and arduous process, the kind of thing you only realized was happening when you looked back and bothered to compare where you were with where you’d been. Lately Oscar had found himself mimicking the way Ozpin sat with their cane and Ozpin sometimes spoke about the farm like he’d been the one to grow up there. Things were messy now, unclear boundaries with equally unclear origins. Were they really becoming one, or were they just so used to one another that they’d picked up on certain habits?

Oscar wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

But the merge was granting them new abilities as well, things beyond just access to Ozpin’s muscle memory. They’d found now that they could control their shared body without a full, formal switch—which was what happened now, Oscar’s fingers uncurling to instead press flat palms against Qrow’s back. The pressure had the same desperate tinge to it though.

Oscar was the one who buried their face in Qrow’s shirt. Ozpin was the one who held on.

“That’s not me,” Oscar whispered, wanting him to understand, not entirely sure he did either. Qrow just gathered him up further.

“I know, kid. I know.”

#rwby #rwbyfic #rwby spoilers #HEY QROW #HEY #BE NICER TO YOUR SON #ritamej

[shestillhasherquill]

At the Heart of Darkness (10/11)

I can barely speak - and it has only 50% to do with the fact that I have a throat infection. The second-to-last chapter, wow. Thank you for all the love. I never thought this fic would have any impact, so any at all - no matter, little or lot - means so much to me. I made the right decision to join @captainswanbigbang this year lol

Thank you, @sambethe for bringing to life some of the most iconic scenes from Chapter 2 and Chapter 5, and for making this banner. Thank you, @downeystarkjr for telling a story with your video 1 and 2. You guys turned my words into something more tangible and it makes me cry!

Thank you @accio-ambition for sticking through this hell of angst.

Summary: Killian Jones lives in the Land without Magic, with no memories of his family. Until Emma Swan comes into his life like a whirlwind, reminding about everything he had lost. He embarks on an adventure to destroy the Darkness, only to discover that Emma might not be telling him the whole story.

Rating: M

Content Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage, Angst, Gothel

Prologue: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 1: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 2: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 3: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 4: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 5: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 6: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 7: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 8: tumblr ao3 ff.net 

Current Chapter: ao3 ff.net

Chapter 9: I won’t say I love you (It’s too late)

Present Day: Camelot

Killian and Merlin were trekking ahead while Alice trailed behind them, lost in thought. She had been pondering about her magic a lot the past week. For all these years, she had relied on Emma and her magic to get her out of any problem they were in. Emma had been the one to handle the mess; she had been the one to take the lead and make sure Alice focused solely on staying alive. Alice had come to depend on her Mama, but right now, she was certain she would have to step up. She had been repressing her magic for years, and with good reason. But with Emma gone, she had to make sure her father had someone to assist him. As much as she believed Merlin would help them get rid of the Darkness, she wasn’t so sure that he was as invested in keeping them safe as Emma would have been. Alice had to step up, somehow.

That was why the past week she had been trying to access her magic. Emma had once told her that magic was a part of Alice, and that she had to channel it right. She’d told Alice that magic was emotion.

Alice had tried to remember everything that her mother had taught her, but it proved to be far more difficult than she had anticipated. She only hoped that Merlin’s magic would be enough - that he would be of some actual assistance when it came down to it. She was brought out of her musings by Merlin’s pointing out their destination.

“Just up ahead, that is where we need to go.” The wizard pointed, but all Alice could see were crumbling structures, with what looked like a pedestal with a giant plate on it. No flame.

“This is what we came for? A big, empty plate?” She raised her brow at Merlin, her hands resting on her hips. “I thought you said we would find the Promethean flame here?”

Merlin nodded with an uneasy expression. “I did say that. And you will find it here.” He turned to Killian. “It’s time for you to do your part, Captain.”

“Which is what, exactly?” Killian demanded, regarding the wizard warily. “You have been quite vague, mate. You said we need to come to this...what is this place? You said that the Promethean flame would be here.”

“And it is,” Merlin insisted. “I’ll need the Dagger, Alice. And I’ll need for you take that cuff off, Captain.”

-/-

Killian was taken aback by Merlin’s instructions. He had been able to keep the Darkness at bay because of the cuff. He had tried to take it off multiple times, when the voices became too much. But he had not be able to so much as move it, let alone remove it entirely. No matter how much he had tried to access his magic at his weakest moments, he had been unable to. The cuff protected him as much as it did the people around him. To say he was apprehensive about taking it off would be putting it lightly.

He watched Alice pull the Dagger from her satchel, the Darkness rearing its head at that. His eyes never strayed from the Dagger, the whispers growing louder. Take the Dagger. You will have complete control over your magic. No one can stop you from getting everything you want. He had started reaching for without even realising it; but he was thwarted by Merlin coming to stand between him and Alice.

Killian’s head snapped up, baring his teeth at the wizard, despite himself. “Papa!” Alice exclaimed, sounding alarmed. It was the panic in her voice that brought him out of his haze. He reeled back from Merlin, appalled by his own behaviour.

“I- I’m sorry,” he stuttered out, forcing his gaze away from the Dagger to focus instead on Merlin. “I don’t know what got over me.”

“I do. It’s the Darkness. It’s fighting against the cuff,” Merlin explained. He took the Dagger from Alice, holding it out to Killian. “Once the cuff is off your wrist, the Darkness will have every chance to take over. Brace yourself.”

Killian sucked in a sharp breath, his body rigid and alert. “Aye. I’m ready.” He swallowed thickly when Merlin used the Dagger to break the cuff’s bind over Killian’s magic. The cuff came off quite easily, leaving Killian to face the onslaught of the dark magic rushing through his veins.

Killian exhaled sharply, planting his feet firmly on the ground, his arms stiff at his side. “Let’s get this over with, then.”

Merlin nodded, handing Killian the Dagger. Killian took it with a trembling hand, gasping the moment he held it.

“Focus, Captain. You need to channel the power of the Dagger, reach through it to the first Dark One, the origin of all dark magic.”

Killian nodded shakily, the Darkness whispering threats in his ear. “It’s- the Dagger is humming- and it, it feels like snakes crawling over my arm. This doesn’t feel safe.”

“Of course it is not safe. Your power is completely unchecked, and I've practically handed you the power to kill me.”

“Not helping me, mate,” Killian gritted out through clenched teeth. “I can hear the Darkness. It’s whispering...I- I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Papa, look at me.” Alice’s voice drew Killian from his internal struggle, his eyes focusing on his daughter. “You can do this. You’re more than the Darkness. I believe in you.”

He nodded at her words, her faith in him making him stronger. “Take the right path, it’s just in my head,” he kept murmuring to himself.

“Now, call on the spirit of the previous Dark Ones,” Merlin instructed.

Killian swallowed thickly, his muscles straining at the effort it took him not to succumb to the Darkness. He watched as his name on the Dagger started changing rapidly, almost as if it was scrolling through the past Dark Ones. For a moment, he was afraid he had really lost his head, but the scrolling stopped on one name - Nimue.

A figure in dark robes and a golden mask materialised in front of Killian, startling him.

“You did it,” Merlin said in a gasp, gaze trained on the robe clad figure.

Realisation dawned on Killian, wide eyes turning to look at Merlin. “Nimue,” Killian breathed out.

“That is me, yes.” The first Dark One took off the gold mask, revealing the face of the woman underneath. “It is good to see you embrace the Darkness, Killian. You have been running away from it for far too long.”

“You never told me the first Dark One was the woman you loved.” Killian eyed Merlin warily.

“This is not the woman I loved. The Dark One killed her the day she took on the Darkness.”

“It’s always good to see you, Merlin,” Nimue said, turning to her old lover. “And how great is it going to be to say good-bye.” She held out her hand, her fingers forming a choking gesture in midair. Killian mirrored her, watching wide-eyed as Merlin started struggling to breathe.

Alice rushed to the wizard’s side, confused and afraid as she looked to Killian for help. “Papa, stop it!” she exclaimed. “This is not you!”

“I-I’m not doing that, love.”

“Oh, but you are, Killian,” Nimue whispered in his ear. “Because we are one and the same, all the Dark Ones. We need to destroy the threat to the Darkness; we need to destroy Merlin.”

“Why are you doing this? You loved him,” Killian gritted out, trying to fight the Darkness.

“And you loved Emma. You know no matter how much you love someone, if they are trying to take something from you, you need to stop them. You need to say ‘No, this is mine,’” Nimue growled, using Killian to channel the dark magic through, directing it all toward the wizard. The blast of magic made Merlin go flying, hitting the ground with an audible thud.

The Dark Ones rushed, Killian hovering over Merlin, the point of the Dagger dangling over the wizard’s heart.

“Kill him,” Nimue pushed.

“Killian, this is not you,” Merlin wheezed out.

“Stop it, stop it,” Killian muttered, eyes squeezed shut.

“He’s going to reforge Excalibur and destroy us. Finish the fucking job, Killian.”

“Do no listen to her, Killian. You’re a good man, you need to fight this. Find the light within you,” Merlin urged.

Killian was panting with the effort it took to him resist the temptation to sink the Dagger in Merlin’s chest. He was shaking, lifting his head up to catch Alice’s eye. She was staring at him, terrified.

“Papa, don’t do this. This isn’t you,” she whispered, her tone slow and soft. None of the fear translated into her voice as she moved closer. “I believe in you, Papa. I love you. Whatever the voices in your head are saying, ignore it. You’ve fought so long, lost so much.” Alice was crying now, tears slipping down her cheeks.

“I need to protect you and Emma. I need the Darkness,” Killian whispered, Nimue’s voice whispering how weak he was. “I’m not strong enough.”

“Of course you are! The Darkness is what is weak. You raised me by yourself for five years! You allowed your heart to open up again to Emma. You were always strong, Papa. We never needed your magic. All Mama and I need is you.”

Killian’s heart soared, light filtering in through the thick fog of the Darkness, clearing his mind.

“Kill Merlin. Do not go back to being weak!” Nimue screamed.

“I am not weak!” Killian growled. “I might have succumbed to it in the past but I don’t need the Darkness anymore; I have love in my life. I have my family.” He put out his hand, turning his magic against Nimue. “Now, I’m taking that ember, and I am going to destroy the Darkness once and for all,” he said, pulling the spark from her, making her gasp. She glared at him and disappeared as suddenly as she had appeared.

Killian turned back to Merlin, helping the wizard up. “Let’s reforge the sword, and get this over with, mate.”

Merlin nodded, smiling almost proudly at Killian. “You did it. How did it feel to take the path of light?” he asked Killian.

Killian turned to Alice, smiling at his daughter. “To be honest with you, Merlin, it felt like I finally did the right thing for my family,” he said on a shaky breath.

Alice grinned back at him, hugging his side. Killian wrapped his arms around her, chuckling slightly, resting his cheek on top of her head. “I knew you could do it, Papa.”

“Let’s get this over with then,” Killian declared, releasing Alice and turning to Merlin. He held the last bit that was left of the Promethean flame in his hand. “What next?”

“We light the spark, of course. Are you ready to be rid of the Darkness?” Merlin asked.

Killian wanted to say yes, there was no question to it. But he couldn’t help but wonder how much magic had helped him too. He had been able to break the bonds that kept his daughter trapped, he was able to keep his family safe. What if he needed it again, but would no longer be able to find it?

“What is it, Papa?” Alice looked at him curiously, as if she could see the gears spinning in his head.

Killian felt unsettled, like he was not sure anymore. “Isn’t it possible to use the magic for good?” he asked Merlin. “I could make a choice, like I just did.”

Merlin smiled tightly at him. “Perhaps, there might be someone strong and noble enough to not be corrupted by the Darkness, Killian. But it is not fair to make someone carry this burden. The Darkness has already taken root in your heart; holding on to it would not be wise. It’s a slippery slope. It’s time to let it go. There is a lot more to look forward to in life, more love and happiness than anything the Darkness can give you.”

Killian nodded, knowing that Merlin was right. He might have been strong now, but he had also done a lot of things he regretted because of the Darkness. Looking at the rock in his hand, he asked, “What do I do now?”

“We light it together. Think about what is waiting for you. Break the bonds of your past, break free of the hold the Darkness has on you.” Merlin advised. “You can do this.”

Killian closed his eyes, feeling Alice’s steady gaze on him. He thought about the happiness he had felt, watching her grow up. He thought about his days with Emma, getting to know her, falling in love with her. He ruined it all, then. But if he had learned anything in the past week with his daughter, even the greatest sins could be forgiven if someone loved you. And he had two someones, he had his girls. No matter how uncertain things were between Emma and him, he knew she loved him. If he wanted a future with them, to finally be the family that he so desperately craved, the Darkness needed to go.

He thought of his family: he thought of his brother and how much he had taught Killian about honour and good form. He thought of Milah, and how she had taught him to love, to embrace life after he had given up on it after Liam. He thought of Alice, and how she helped him realise how rewarding being a father could be, how she had brought hope back in his life, restarted his cold, dead heart.

He thought of Emma. He thought about how she had come into his life like a whirlwind, and how she challenged him. How she infuriated him and made him crazy. How she was the blinding light to the darkness that had plagued him, much before he had become the Dark One. She set him free, made me feel more love than he ever thought possible. Alice and Emma filled the gaping holes in his heart. They were all he needed, not magic.

A future with them was so close within his grasp; he could feel it in his bones.

He felt his chest fill with the love he felt for them, the warmth consuming him, breathing life into him. The changes in him, he felt viscerally. And when he opened his eyes, the rock was alight with a small but strong flame.

“Yes, you did it, Papa!” Alice cheered, jumping gleefully. Killian grinned widely, feeling the warmth from the flame on his palm. He could feel the light magic in the flame, something in him wanting to reach for it. It sent the Darkness in him reeling, and he couldn’t help but feel smug about it. He finally had a win, and after all of this was over, he could go and save his Swan.

He barked out a laugh in triumph.

“Are you ready to finish what you started?” Merlin asked, taking joy in Killian’s obvious happiness.

“Yes.” Killian was breathing deeply, but steadily. He handed Merlin the Dagger, following the wizard’s instructions and drawing out the Promethean flame and feeling the light magic that was drawn from it in the air. It almost felt pliant, the magic from the flame - he manipulated it toward the Dagger and the broken sword.

Killian, Alice, and Merlin watched in wonder as the weapons rose in air, the flame enveloping them. The bright light radiated on the trio, making Killian squint his eyes. He felt hope bloom in his chest, and for the first time in a long time, he had a feeling that everything would actually soon be alright.

The feeling did not lasted long. Just as he finished the final step to reunite the blades, he was interrupted by the grating voice of the last person he wanted to see - Gothel.

“Well, isn’t this convenient,” she called out from behind the trio. Killian was effectively distracted from the spell, and the newly mended Excalibur fell to the ground, Killian Jones and Merlin etched on the blade.

Killian and Alice turned to face their foe, both gasping in unison when they saw Emma trailing behind Gothel. She looked nothing like her usual self; she looked lifeless and had a haunted look about her. Her clothes were dirty, and ripped at the sleeve, her hair falling limp and having none of its usual bounce. But none of that was  as alarming as the look in her eyes - they were downcast and when she did look up at them, he could not see Emma in there. They looked empty, dazed - as if Emma was nothing more than a puppet.

“Gods, Swan,” Killian said in a gasp, moving toward her without a second thought. He was stopped short by an invisible barrier, Gothel smirking at him from behind it. “What have you done to her?” he demanded with a voice of authority. He could feel the dark magic at his fingertips, waiting to be unleashed, and it took everything in him to not give in to the urge.

“Oh, nothing, really.” Gothel’s smirk grew wider, tugging on the chains that bound his love, making Emma stumble forward. Gothel walked up to her, one long finger lifting Emma’s chin. “I just broke her.” Gothel had the audacity to giggle, trailing her finger down Emma’s jaw, making her flinch.

Killian pounded against the barrier, ignoring the burning on his skin. “Let her go, witch. You’re too late!”

Gothel whirled around, stalking up to him, standing just shy of touching the barrier, holding his gaze steadily. “On the contrary, Captain. I learnt a lot of interesting things from your lover. Or is it, ex-lover?” She held up her hand, and Excalibur flew into her gasp, startling Killian, Alice, and Merlin.

“No!” Merlin exclaimed, rushing forward, but was once again thwarted by the barrier that Gothel had put up.

“Mama, stop her!” Alice called out, but Emma did not seem to hear her. Whatever Gothel had done to her, it had left her catatonic.

“Gothel, stop this. You don’t have to do this.” Killian’s tone was soft, coaxing. He wanted to shout, get angry and perhaps even murder the witch who had been tormenting his family for years. But she was far too volatile, and it was all of their lives at stake. He couldn’t risk it.

“Of course I do,” she snapped, her expression sullying. “You humans and your pathetic lives. You never appreciate what nature has gifted you with. You just destroy it and burn it to the ground. My family and I worked hard to preserve the magic, and what did we get in return?” She had an aura of rage about her, her expression dark and furious. “My kind was murdered in cold blood, simply because we were different. If I am to eliminate all of humanity, I need this. And I almost would have had everything I needed, if it weren’t for you.” She looked at Killian with great disdain. “You had the power of the Dark One, and you ran away from it.”

“Aye, because it corrupts. You cannot possibly think I wouldn’t stop you from doing this.” Killian did not take his eyes off Gothel for even a moment. She was unhinged and unpredictable; he had no idea what she meant to do with Excalibur.

Alice stepped forward, despite Killian’s protests. “Please, stop this. You’re supposed to be my mother,” the young woman said, her voice breaking. “You talk about family, but I am your family, and you abandoned me without a second thought. You tricked my father, and you broke his trust in unspeakable ways. Can you honestly say you are better off than humans?”

Gothel looked taken aback by Alice’s words for a moment, but she quickly composed herself. “I would say I was sorry, but I’m really not.”

Killian had had enough. He surged at the barrier, releasing his cautious hold on his magic. He watched as the barrier became visible, reacting to his magic, making Gothel’s eyes widen,  but did not seem go down at all. Before he could unleash more of his power, Gothel held out the sword in front of her, “Stay right there.”

He felt his body freeze, held in spot by the magic that bound him to Excalibur, watching with helpless fury as Gothel walked toward him and Merlin, who was immobilized as well, the sword held in front of her. “Well, it’s been fun, boys. But now it is time for me to take what is mine.” She approached Merlin first, and Killian watched with wide-eyed horror as she unceremoniously ran Excalibur through his chest, the wizard in no position to stop her.

“NO!” Killian and Alice shouted in unison. Merlin stared at the sword sticking out of his gut in shock, his magic visibly draining out of him in wisps of light and into Excalibur. Alice pressed her hands to her mouth, stifling her horrified gasp, pressing closer to her father, her hand clutching his arm.

Killian looked to Emma, terrified and desperate, still frozen in place. “Emma, love, do something! You can stop her.”

Emma looked up, staring right through him with cold, dead eyes. It broke his heart to see her like this.

Gothel turned to him, her free hand twisting in a grasping motion, making roots break through the ground and wrapping around Alice’s torso, pulling her away from Killian, despite her loud protests. Gothel walked toward him with a simpering expression. He bared his teeth at her, her jaw clenched tight. “I swear to the Gods, if you hurt my daughter-”

“You’ll what? Kill me? Please - I’d like to see you try.” She glanced behind her at Merlin’s crumpled form. “Don’t worry. I’ll spare your life,” she assured Killian, smiling tightly. “I just need your magic, that’s all.”

“No! Stop it!” Alice exclaimed, pounding her fists against the root that was wrapped around her, but to no avail. “Mama! Please! Help us!”

Killian struggled in place, trying desperately to break free on the Dagger’s command. He turned to Emma, just as she seemed to come back to reality and realise what was going on around her. She was shaking in place, looking brokenly at him and Alice, like she had given up trying. He couldn’t - wouldn’t - let that happen. “Swan! You can overpower whatever control she had on you. You are the strongest person I know.”

Emma looked at him then, walking toward him on weak legs, stumbling slightly before she found her bearing. She, too, was stopped short by the barrier that Gothel had put up. Up close, she looked even worse. Her eyes were sunken, lips chapped with dried blood; she looked battle worn, defeated. It scared him, seeing her like this. “Killian,” she whispered, her voice scratchy and rough. “I can’t stop her. I can’t, I’m sorry.” She was crying, making his heart clench at her pain. “She’s stronger than I am.”

“You should listen to her, darling.” Gothel was right in front of him, Excalibur clutched tight in her hands. “Now, this will hurt a tad.” She held the sword in front of him, and he felt the Darkness in him reacting to it, almost as if it was heeding a silent call, reaching out to the weapon.

For a moment, Killian thought he would be able to hold back, keep the Darkness reined in if only to ensure Gothel did not get her hands on it. But it was futile, as the Darkness started to pour out of him, as slowly and painfully as it possibly could. He couldn’t help but yell in pain: it felt like his skin was was being pricked by a thousand needles from the inside out. The dark magic was tearing out of him; it was excruciating. He turned to Emma once again, swallowing down his pain. “Love, you-you are s-stronger than you realise. You-” he cut himself off, letting out a grunt at the toll it was taking on his body. “-are the pro-product of True Love. I believe in you.”

Emma nodded, sucking in her bottom lip. “I love you.”

“As I love you, my Pr-Princess.”

-/-

Emma closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. There was so much of the Darkness blocking her from accessing her light magic, but she knew it had to still be there. Gothel might have broken her down in the past week, but a part of her had allowed it to happen, if only to delay the witch from stopping Killian. She had almost succeeded, too.

Right now, Killian and Alice needed her, and she was was running out of time. Once Gothel was done extracting the Darkness, Emma would lose her magic. She had been prepared for that, and for what would come after - but she needed her magic if she wanted to stop Gothel. Fortunately for her, Merlin had shared with her the spell he had intended to perform to get rid of the Darkness once and for all. Excalibur was supposed to break immortal ties, but if Gothel gained control over the Darkness as well as Merlin’s light magic, it would be impossible to stop her.

Then it dawned on her - Merlin’s light magic and the Darkness cancelled each other out, and they would all be in Gothel. She would be the sole catalyst for all that power. If Emma was able to disable her for long enough, she could….That was it!

She had a plan in place; she just needed to find the strength within her to attack Gothel. Killian’s cries of pain and Alice’s desperate pleading echoed through her mind, pushing her to try harder. She had been weakened beyond what she could handle the past week, and she knew even if she could have survived losing her magic before, she had no hope of that now.

Emma had to do everything she could to take Gothel down with her. She thought about everyone and everything she had loved and lost - her parents, her kingdom, Charles. She remembered every painful moment of her life, channeling her grief to find the light within her. Every moment of hurt and anguish that she had felt cut deeply because it came from the same place love did; because the only reason she felt pain was because she felt love, too. They went hand in hand.

Emma shut everything off around her, travelling within herself to find the source of the love that powered her magic. It was hard, wading through the Darkness that had corrupted her system, like trying to swim through black sludge. Her surroundings faded, noises grew distant and she felt like she was floating. The further she went into the Darkness within her, the harder it became to remember where she was and why she was there. She held on tight to the good memories - happy memories of her childhood, of being in love, of her years with Alice - using them to ground her to reality.

It felt like hours, not mere seconds like it really was, before she broke through the surface of the Darkness. But when she did, she was embraced by the familiar warmth of her light magic, magic that was born out of love and happiness, that had been oppressed by the Darkness. She should have known, that at the heart of Darkness would be light.

She immersed herself in the light, slowly drawing it with her past the Darkness. She pulled it through, bit by bit, until the pitch black that seemed to have taken over her heart was replaced with bright light. Emma felt like she was reborn, her energy renewed; like she had been drowning for so long and had finally come up for air.

When she opened her eyes, only a moment had passed. Gothel still held Excalibur aloft and the Darkness was trickling out of Killian, surrounding the witch. Emma bided her time, now having a firm hold on the light magic. She just needed to wait until the Darkness was being pulled from her, too, before she would execute her plan.

Everything around Emma came back into full focus; she could hear Killian’s screams again, Alice’s cries - it was so hard for her to not react immediately. It nearly broke her, seeing her family in such pain. But it also strengthened her resolve to hold out just that much longer. She hardened her heart, watched as her love fell to his knees, weakened by the sudden withdrawal of power.

But that also meant that the Darkness was finally out of him. As if in answer to her question, Emma felt a tugging on the last bit of the Darkness in her. It was time.

Gothel turned to Emma with a smug grin, her icy blue eyes consumed by the Darkness. Emma let go of the tentative grasp she had on her light magic - all of it - feeling it leave her completely in one breath and hitting Gothel square in her chest, sending her soaring through the air. Gothel lost her grip on Excalibur, and it fell at Killian’s feet, with the letters spelling out Mother Gothel along the blade burned into it, revealing the new host for the Darkness.

Killian was quick to react, his fingers wrapping tightly around the grip of the sword. He grinned at Emma, nodding at her. “I knew you could do it, Swan!” he called out.

Emma wasn’t certain what happened next, her vision blurring for a moment, but when she could see clearly again, Killian has Excalibur buried in Gothel’s gut. Emma felt the thick, suffocating aura from the Darkness ebb away, as Gothel fell to her death.

Emma grinned widely across the clearing at father and daughter. She took no more than two steps before her legs gave way beneath her, her chest feeling tight, making it difficult to draw a breath. She choked on a gasp, pressing a hand to her chest, feeling her heart race rapidly in her chest. She tried to call out to Alice, but felt herself fading, her vision going to black. She heard panicked voices, sounding muffled and distant, and felt a rough, calloused palm on her cheek.

Emma couldn’t understand why everything was turning black, or why she couldn’t breathe anymore. She started panicking for a moment or two. But that stopped as well.

And finally, so did her heart.

#cs ff #knightrook #csbb #cs angst

[vykodlak]

the way you draw muscles and anatomy in general is just incredible, so flowy and beautiful. i'd love to be able to do anatomy like you one day, do you do specific studies for it? do you have any advice for drawing muscles (like that naked skydancer for example)?

Hearing this makes me so happy, I love drawing anatomy and hope that usually comes through in my work! Thank you.

To be honest, 90% of the time I’m flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to drawing it ‘correctly’ [that is, as it’d look in real life]. I do studies then and now, but nothing in-debth, though I’ve been tryin’ to correct that lately. That SD in particular was drawn very quickly and is rife with mistakes, hahah. Most of it is style I’ve built up over the past few years, just by drawing werid-lookin’ monsters. The best advice is to just keep at it, but you already know that so…

I can’t teach you how to draw specifically like I do since that’s developed over time and a lot of it is shorthand, but I can tell you what I do & keep in mind when drawing and doing more serious anatomy studies.

1. Having confidence in your lines is one of the most important things and something I stress every time someone asks me for advice. You can’t be unsure in your lines or they’ll let you down. Do a lot of line exercises and build up that muscle memory. Even the most sketchy drawings done in like 5 minutes can look intentional and slick if you’ve got confidence in this area, so just become an expert bluffer.

[personally I love swooshing lines so I zoom out as much as I can w/out losing clarity and just. Swoosh. Swoosh as much as you can. Do as much as you can with a single line.]

2. In the end it’s all about learning how to stylize the form and deciding how much detail you want to go into. Sometimes I use just a single line to convey muscles, sometimes I go wild with the hatching. Having a strong foundation is important but don’t focus too much on rigidity. Once you’ve got a good idea of what a limb looks like, play around with it’s shape a little, stretch it, squash it, make it look like a twizzler if ya want, and see what looks good to you. A part of what makes my figures look the way they do is that I add some lines that aren’t actually there in real life, but I just think look good. Play around w/ it.

3. A worthwhile thing to practice is basic forms first, just cylinders at various angles. Try to visualize how they’d look in 3D, how your lines would curve around them, think ‘bout how the muscle and skin might curve and wrap around a limb. This post on volume and keeping things in perspective literally changed my life lol. I usually check my forms with some circles these days. The coil technique follows a similar tactic but personally too many circles make my head spin.

4. Save as many reference photos as you can, from as many angles as you can find. What I usually do when studying these is to do an eyeballed drawing of the picture, then do a traced version, compare both to see where I’m lacking and then eyeball it again using what I’ve learned from the trace. Sometimes I hide the reference on the third try just to see what I’ve memorized. Do this as many times as you need until you feel you’ve got it down [but make sure to check yourself or get someone to check for you every once in a while so you don’t keep repeating a mistake]! Don’t ever rely on tracing as a crutch tho, just a note.

5. When studying, use different colors [or colored lines] to isolate the various muscles/parts of the body. I do this on both pictures and my art and it really helps some stuff ‘click’ into place for me. It might also help you memorize the shapes quicker. Anatomy4Sculptors has a lot of good small refs like that [just… not on their official website, everything there is locked behind membership. Use google images or tumblr to find some].

6. Be aware of how limbs overlap. I’m just gonna now its an example here ‘cause I’m bad at explaining lol. It might seem pretty intuitive and easy at more extreme angles but it’s a good thing to keep in mind nonetheless. Keep them cylinders in mind and consider how they’d overlap in simplified forms.

7. When referencing, take note of where each body part is in relation to another [say, how the elbow might be at level with the ear when he arm is raised/angled a certain way].

And. That’s about most of the stuff i try to keep in mind while drawing! I hope it was at least a little bit coherent/helpful, hahah. If you’ve got any more questions abt anything specific I can try to clarify further. [Also just to note, never use other’s art as anatomical reference, even the lil studies I’ve done here, because you’ll just end up copying their mistakes.] You’re welcome to do some private studies of my art style, though, if you want to get the hang of how I place down lines & how I stylize.

#i hope this is what you had in mind! sometimes it's hard to translate my thoughts into words [english especially] :-( #long post #koshkaah speaks #text

[uniformbravo]

i felt like making a list of my piano goals so uhh here we go

some of these are very specific and im so shit at explaining them so if ur reading this good luck

learn to play faster w/ my right hand ghghgh im trying to learn this rly complicated song rn that’s like way above my skill level lol and i stumble over the fast bits every time even tho i know what notes to play so idk i just want to like git gud

in a similar vein: get used to playing the melody correctly? like i recently noticed that i take a lot of shortcuts to avoid faster note sequences & its like bitch........................ play it right

learn more embellishments..... idk how to explain this one really, that’s just what i call them. u know, shit like uhh when u drag ur hand down from the top & hit all the keys, i see The Pros do that one all the time, or just like. random sprinklings of notes that aren’t really part of the melody but sound rly good?? i want to add Embellishments (sorry if this is like rly confusing i know nothing abt proper music terms)

get a lot better (and faster) at that thing where u play 2 of the same note one octave apart (w/ the right hand), i am abysmal at that rn it’s kind of pathetic but To Be Fair it rly strains my hand so i haven’t been able to practice it that much........ i wish i had yaoi hands, honestly, (my reach is like. 9 of the white keys. like if the bottom note is C i can reach the next D and thats it)

building off the last one: i want to do that & also add notes in between to make chords like what the fuck, im perfectly fine w/ 3-note chords but the second u add in a 4th i lose my mind why is it so hard

get more comfortable w/ playing melody on the higher keys (this also ties into the aforementioned octave shit since that would help w/ this) bc i tend to play w/ my right and left hands pretty close together & it tends to sound a little muddy.... als o boring

more maneuverability w/ my left hand.,,; i want to get good at the thing where ur constantly alternating between hitting a low note and a higher chord (like in ragtime), that shit is hard & i h8 it

similarly: getting comfortable with making huge jumps w/ both hands. i know this one has a lot more to do w/ practice and muscle memory than one single catch-all technique but i watch a lot of pianists on youtube who make it look so effortless like their hands are just floating back and forth across the keyboard & i want that 2 be me

get better at playing in more difficult keys lol..... i rely too much on C-major/A-minor, G-major/E-minor, and F-major/D-minor all my songs sound the fuckign same,.,.,, playing covers helps bc i usually have to learn it in its original key, which will sometimes be something weird, but more often than not it’s not that weird which makes it rly embarrassing when i struggle so much w/ it lol like..... little witch academia’s op (shiny ray) is in fucking D-major which should be easy af but im having such a hard time with it aaaahhhhhhhh  literally anything that’s a variation on a key im used to trips me up so bad like A-major is fucking garbage tbh!!! also E-major jesus christ. and dont even talk to me about C#-major i hATE

stop relying so much on the lower notes for the left hand like..... dont be afraid to move up to the higher notes sometimes, the variation will make ur songs more interesting and less samey like wtf

coming up w/ more interesting arrangements w/ more variation of technique throughout (this mostly applies 2 my left hand. my Shit left hand yeah u heard me, Asshole,)

just- more variation in left hand techniques in general lmfao the left needs a lot of work ok let’s just leave it at that

figuring out how to end songs. just generally learning when to stop lol i have this rly annoying habit of ending every single song w/ the same dumbass unnecessary technique that i dont even know how to do properly so it doesnt even sound that good but it’s a habit now so im trying to break it. i need to get more comfortable w/ songs that end abruptly like snk’s s2 op has a rly abrupt ending & it feels so uncomfortable every time i play it like “that’s it???” yes that’s it u Moron get with the program get used to it christ

understanding that learning new songs takes time and not being able to instantly pick up any song i try is normal like jeez i really have to tell myself this. also making a lot of mistakes comes w/ the learning, and even if u manage to iron them out, lack of practice brings them back and that’s Normal it doesn’t mean u suck now it just means u havent practiced those songs ok jeeeeeez

i think that p much covers it lol

since im so shit at explaining what i mean here’s a piano cover that basically exemplifies everything i want to achieve, this guy is literally #Piano Goals his arrangement style is everything i aspire towards like Jeez. just watch all of his videos tbh he’s amazing

#why did this turn into a self-roast at the end jgdkgjd #retag later #talkin bout stuff