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angstymdzsthoughts · 4 years

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Ignorance is a bliss

Imagine if “come to gusu with me” ends up with wwx passed out of exhaustion before he could reject the offer. Lwj did brought him to gusu and under the jurisdiction of the elders, after wwx is nursed back to health, his demonic cultivation must be sealed and he must received say maybe 15 lashes as punishment for straying off the righteous path before were sent to seclusion with lwj so that wwx will finally be ‘cleansed’. Wwx wasnt happy ofc but what he could do with his powers are sealed away? Now , 5 strokes of discipline whip may cause a cultivator bedridden for months, how about to a non cultivator ? It must affect them severely so that is why discipline whip can never be used to a non cultivator. Lwj was forced to a house arrest guarded by three disciples due to him trying to (forcefully) persuade the elders to not hurt wwx. Lwj never thought that the elders were so hell bent on punishing wwx , where he promised wwx that gusu will be his safe haven (oh lwj, ignorance is a bliss).

The elders of Lan assumed that wwx’s core is still intact but maybe diminished due to demotic cultivation. So they still proceeded with the punishment. But halfway through the session, wwx lose consciousness and healers were called to heal him so that they could finish the punishment.However, upon trying to heal him , the healers discovered that wwx does not have a golden core. Lxc was horrified and ultimately barked an order to bring wwx to the sect’s infirmary to put him to rest. Glaring at lqr and the elders , he told them if wwx did not survive the ordeal , they would have become a murderer.

Lwj was devastated on the state wwx in. Wwx had a bad fever due to infection despite how hard the healers were trying to use medication. Bandages were changed thrice a day to ensure the infection does not spread to other parts of body. Wwx never gained consciousness for 3 months. He was delirious in fever as his health rapidly declining over the days. Healers concluded that wwx may not he able to perform his daily routine without help as the whip has cause major backlash on his physical and mental health.

After a discussion, the lans decided to finally informed the jiang sects of the situation wwx was in. JC was on his way when wwx woke up. Wwx was in confusion and struggling to get out of his bed. Lxc and lwj had to restrain him to ensure he doesn’t hurt himself. The last thing wwx remembered that his back and legs were excruciating painful and people in white robes are the cause of it.Paranoia settles in him causing wwx to be on alert every second and never utter a single word after waking up, not even to lwj. For wwx, lwj has brought him to gusu because he hated wwx so much that he let those people hurt him. He was betrayed.

Although he was reluctant at first, he forced himself to eat to regained his strength and escape this hell. When the jc arrives at gusu with a group of disciples , lxc and the elders met them at the entrance leaving lwj and wwx alone at the room. Wwx for the first time spoke to lwj, requesting for a new change of robe. “I just dont want anyone to see me in this dirty robe” . Lwj acquiesced.

When lwj came back with new set of fresh robes and a basin of hot water , wwx was gone. Due to the envoy from Jiang sect , the entrance was not guarded as usual and wwx miraculously managed to flee gusu. Wwx put his guard up even he has successfully escape and ran to the most secluded part of Caiyi town. After resting for few hours and after the adrenaline was gone ,wwx realised that he was severely injured and crippled. His left leg cannot be bend without causing painful jolt like feeling. Him running all the way from gusu to caiyi with a bleeding back and hurting leg was indeed a miracle. Now , if walking was painful , then running was courting death. With careful planning using his survival skills and experience , wwx continues his painstaking slow journey and enters a forest , opposite direction of gusu and lotus pier. Wwx was last seen by a fruit vendor of Caiyi Town ; limping away without a trace.

Lwj without a doubt used an inquiry to find wwx , but wwx was an ambitious lad. Wwx somehow managed to create a talisman that can hide his presence even to spirits. Jc has issued posters all over the place , in hopes that someone might give an intel for him to find his brother but to no avail , no one has a clue of where wwx has been gone to. Wwx - like a ghost , has disappeared . JYL and JXZ was also at deeps end, unable to trace her missing brother. Other major sects also keep an eye for wwx, though the Lan clan has claimed that wwx’s demonic cultivation was sealed and was severly injured, who knows what can that young man do ?

Timeskip to 13 years later, JL LJY and LSZ (assuming that the siege never happened, but lwj adopted a-yuan as per requested by wq and wn to ensure he was raised at a proper & healthy background and the wen remnants survived and disperse for safety) was attacked at goddess temple only to be saved by a mystery crippled guy with mask (JL: a non cultivator nonetheless!) (LJY: what an amazing talent ! Only using talisman to beat the statue!). The teenagers were awestruck with the masked man’s skill, that they wanted to thanked him with a meal and few drinks but was rejected and the man leaves.

JL who never accepts no for an answers suggest to secretly follows the man so that they can send drinks or some offering for him to his house instead. Ljy and Lsz tagged along as they were curious of their saviour after all. A non cultivator cannot detect presence like a cultivator do, so the man was unaware that he was tailed. Upon arriving an old shack with a small potato farm , the man limped and sat with a grunt. Taking off his mask , he took a bottle of water and consumed a few concoction of medicine before coughing. The teenagers was surprised on the living condition of their saviour. JL however upon seeing the face of the man, went wide eyes.

“That man, he was in the poster my jiujiu used to issue around LP . My A-niang talks about him a lot,” looking over his other two confused companions. “I can never forget that face. The face that always make my mother cry upon looking at his picture and frown at his name. He is my missing big uncle , Wei Wuxian of Jiang Sect.”

“Ah i heard about him. Apparently our Elders punished him until he was missing his golden core , i think? Or is it the other way around?” Ljy spoke. “But i think the limping was the consequences from our Sects’ punishment. That time , Lan sect and Jiang Sect almost broke the treaty. I heard Madame Jiang managed to convinced your uncle to stop”.

They saw the man plowing a part of his potato field ,who occasionally stopped due to his heavy cough and resume his work. “Wwx , he is the person my father has been looking for the past 13 years. I need to let him know” Lsz finally spoke, smiling.

“Oh my potatoes , I hope you grew up fat and yummy for this master over here! I need more money , or i wont be able to buy medicine. You dont want me to die yet are you~” sang wwx. The 3 looked at each other and finally decides to leave for their respective inn, bringing a joyous news for their leaders.

Next day, both JC and lwj accompanied by the 3 went to wwx’s house. Both heartbroken on the state of the old shack . Knocking the wooden door and clearly listening on the voice mumbling from inside “who the hell would come here early in the morning at middle of a forest”, jc and lwj was shocked on the physical appearance of their missing person. Sunken cheeks and dark eyes as indication of fatigue , limping , voice hoarse from sickness and the obvious whipping scars marring from behind his neck to under the ragged clothes , jc couldnt help but to greet wwx with a hug , holding him so gentle in fear that wwx would break with the slightest of strength. Wwx frozen in shock couldnt hug back but made eye contact with lwj. “Weiying, please forgive me that I couldn’t protect you. I am very sorry.” After 13 years of internal pain and agony , wwx for the first time shed his tears . “I forgive you , so you all should leave me alone. I am a burden. Im no longer a cultivator , but a crippled man with not much time to left. I am nothing but a burden. Please” sobbed wwx.

“Idiot. Give us a chance to take care of you. A-jie misses you so much, every day and night. You haven’t met your nephew , Jing Ling . Don’t you want to eat her soup? And about your health, i can call WenQing to help you. She is still the best doctor alive. Come back with us , okay ? And no one will hurt you. “ jc.

Wwx was shocked to hear wq was still alive and her name was spoken by jc without an ounce of hatred. What have been happening for the past few years he have been isolating himself ? With shaking hands , he grabbed jc’s robe and nodded. He made another eye contact with lwj and could see how sincere he is from his eyes. Maybe , all this time , the fact that lwj hates me and sending me to my demise was all a misunderstanding?

“I am no more a cultivator.”

“It’s fine , WeiYing”

“I cannot contribute to Jiang sect anymore.”

“Who cares about that, idiot?”

“I’m going to be a burden !!! I cant even walk properly. My health is deteriorating”

“WeiYing, if tired , I can carry. Let me take care of you when sick”

“Lan Zhan, i dont want to go to gusu”

“We can go anywhere other than Gusu.”

“I wont let you take a single step to that damn place , no offence Second Young master Lan”

“None taken.”

———

(Alternate ending)

Wwx was still unconscious and attacked by a high fever due to infection in his wound. Numerous method has been used to mitigate the after effect of the whip , but to no avail. Infection starts to spread to his legs, and wwx was delirious and moaning in his sleep due to pain. The severity of the wound caused both of his legs to sepsis and the healers has no other way than to amputate the legs to make sure that the infection will not spread internally.

After the surgery of removing wwx’s legs , the infection are able to be minimised but still needs to be monitored. Still, wwx has no signs of waking up. Lwj was loyal to his side , taking care of changing the bandages . Every night , lwj had a nightmare of the reaction of wwx waking up with no legs . One particular nightmare that haunts him the most is weiying took out his own life out of despair. Lwj couldnt sleep for two nights watching over wwx after that nightmare occurs.

After 6 days, lqr visited the room and berates lwj for neglecting his duty as a student of Lan sect. Lwj angrily talks back, and was taken to kneel in the hall for one day. When he came back , no one was watching wwx. He came back with pure silence from wwx .Where there should a ragged breathing from wwx , it was only silence. Wwx’s usually pale lips was ashen. Bandaged chest that should be heaving was still. Wwx finally succumbed to his injuries after 11 days of fighting and lwj (again) was not by his side. His sect (again) are the cause of pain for his beloved ones and has taken everything from him.

—-

Wow took this one hour and a half. This is my second time posting here. 😋 enjoy?

-b

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sworntoprotect · 4 years

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat. Long post!

MUN NAME: Pie AGE: +25 CONTACT: IM, Ask, Discord (mutuals only, by request)

CHARACTER(S): Cullen

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Dragon Age

FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: I have a modern verse for everything not Dragon Age, but I might add some actual alt verses for other fandoms

MY LANGUAGE(S): English (native), Spanish (intermediate), Korean (baby lol beginner), bits and bobs of other languages (namely French and French Patois)

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA / ETC. (I started this and realised I’d be bolding almost everything, so: EVERYTHING)

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ PARA / NOVELLA. / ALL

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO / OCCASIONALLY - only by Mutuals?: YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. / ALL

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. (after my paper is submitted, yeah sure)

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (irl makes coping difficult sometimes)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ WEEKS / MONTHS / YEARS. / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY INTERACTING WITH: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (I strive for more IC over OOC, but my queue does a lot of work too)

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: Talk with me over IM, asks, or Disco. I’m down for almost anything as long as I see it’s feasible.

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Transparency. If you have an idea, let me know! If you’re stuck, let me know! If you want to start something new or scrap something or whatever...LET ME KNOW! I promise I don’t bite and I understand.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I’m not very good with coming up with plots myself, so I’m typically the weak link when it comes to that. Sorry! But you bet I’ll pull up a plot generator and start throwing things down to see what sticks haha.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: I’m all about equal opportunity, so I try not to leave the plotting work to my partner. Let’s negotiate and find something that makes both of us happy. That’s the point after all.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - AND WHY?: If you want to drop a thread, I’m completely fine with it. I want to know so that I don’t end up replying to something you have no interest in anymore. Saves both of us the time.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: If drafts eat it (as they are wont to do these days) or if I feel it has reached a natural conclusion. I rarely, if ever, drop a thread in the middle. I’ll just let you know I’m going to finish it on my side and allow you a chance to finish on yours if you’d like.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO. - AND WHY?: You don’t need to chat with me every minute of every day, but I like knowing the people I’m writing with. Discerning your personality and your approach to your muse gives me a much stronger understanding of how to write with you, and what vibes between us. Plus, it’s easier to remember different people’s boundaries if I talk with them a lot, too.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: I am all for constructive criticism. Even if you think it’s nitpicky, it’s going to be a great help. Good crit allows us grow as writers and as people in general. However, I am not for baseless accusations, childish name-calling, or outright insults under the name of “constructive crit”. Remember the “constructive” part: we need to build each other up.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I love a good story. While I don’t agree with everything Cullen does (and no one should, for anyone real or imagined), his story is intriguing. He’s a deeply flawed, deeply broken man. I love to take on a character, toss them in every situation I can think of, and watch them evolve and grow.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: A real redemption arc, for one. A realistic struggle with substance abuse and recovery. A future of happiness.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: Rape or sexual assault, unless being spoken about as a past event (as I truly believe that Cullen was sexually assaulted at Kinloch along with the other psychological and physical torture he endured). In-game racism is baked in, unfortunately, but it’s not something I seek out to roleplay as a PoC myself. Finally, while I play Cullen as canon-straight, I will not play out homophobia and most definitely not transphobia. If he rejects your muse for hitting on him, it’s not because he’s being homophobic: he’s just not interested. That also doesn’t mean he’ll never be interested; people can and do change, and I ship chemistry overall. He doesn’t hate your muse for their gender, orientation, or sexual preferences. I feel like I really have to spell this out for people who don’t understand. If you feel personally insulted by this somehow, feel free to address me directly, off anon. It’s probably an issue of fuzzy wording that I’m 500% willing to fix and talk about.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: I love starters that set the scene and provide plenty to work with, be it in terms of interacting with the environment or with the other person. If your muse shows immediate disinterest in communicating (and I don’t mean argumentative, which is perfectly fine), I am not going to respond. I might politely ask for more if I feel like it’s a salvageable interaction.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: Stoic soldier types, bubbly short girls, and semi-mad scientists.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: Characters that come across as Mary-Sue / Gary-Stu types. No flaws and barely any room to grow.

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I'm very easy-going and I have an unearthly level of tolerance for almost everything. I try to provide partners with as much to work with as possible IC, and will pretty much support your very existence OOC. I believe in open communication so you’ll know what’s going on with me and/or our threads. Also, I typically reply within a week or two. Currently I’m tethered to finishing a big paper so I’m not a good example of that right now.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I can get overwhelmed by too much which slows my pace down considerably. I’m also a bit distant and do shut down on occasion; that’s usually no fault of my partners, though. Just my brain being a dick.

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. (the closer we are OOC, the easier getting here will be)

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. (it’s not going to be XXX but it will be descriptive)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN, FADE TO BLACK?: YES / NO.

WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: I prefer to write smut for character development and to mark a progression in a relationship. Plus Cullen is not a “one and done” guy so getting to the smut stage will take a bit of build-up.

ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: Hmmm things that he personally wouldn’t go for I guess? Honestly I don’t know. And obviously, no rape/animal abuse/predator nonsense.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO Ships are a great way to further explore a character and their motivations. People do not exist in pure isolation, so I don’t believe characters should, either.

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. I bolded both because the focus of the blog isn’t ships, but this thirst trap guy is really easy to ship with other people I tell ya hwat. I am severely picky with romantic ships for Reasons, but I don’t eschew any other types of ships. I encourage them!

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP — MULTIVERSE / SINGLEVERSE.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: Characters who challenge Cullen into revising his point of view and force him to be a better person. Also, characters who understand his past and they are in no ways obligated to forgive it, but do recognise that he’s struggling very hard to mend whatever mistakes he can and is willing to pay the price for his decisions.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - Be a good salesperson and I might buy it.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: Cullen is a massive stick in the mud, which means it’s incredibly easy to taunt him and get him flustered all at the same time. He’s loyal, he’s intelligent, and he’s largely self-aware. He likes swords and using them. Anything your character hates about him, he most likely hates about himself 100 times more.

WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: Those from the start that show absolutely no interest in speaking with/interacting with him. Mun and muse are going to struggle to stick around. I’m not going to fight for attention and neither is he.

WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, WHAT IS THEIR GOAL?: Redemption. He wants to be a better person and make up for the past as much as he can.

WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: He can sniff out a fellow Templar a mile away (or several miles, in the case of Samson).

WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: Honesty, a strong will, devotion (not necessarily to the Maker or the Chantry, but to a just cause that focuses on protecting others).

WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: War stuff, chess, books, trebuchets, dogs.

WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Lectures about anything. He did his time in Azkaban in the Circles. No more. Please no more.

DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: His parents died trying to escape the Blight, he was tortured for weeks/months on end by blood mages, almost all of his friends died because of it, he was manipulated and brainwashed by his superior, he was forced into a near-debilitating substance addiction by his workplace... yeah just a few things.

WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: Darkspawn and abominations.

IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: Darkspawn and abominations. Blood mages on principle. Regular mages (but he’s working hard to remedy this extremely bad and prejudiced thinking). Himself.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - BEST WAY TO APPROACH THEM?: Just be polite and he won’t turn you away. He’s guarded, yes, but not impossible to talk to.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: You’ll find out by writing together! ;D

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

tagged by: pirated tagging: anyone who actually read this

#a quiet inquiry (memes)#// long post #// very long post

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woedodendron · 5 years

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well since i’m here and as you know i can’t sleep

i started a new job a few weeks ago. i have really enjoyed it. it’s fast paced and the people i work with are all very charming, kind, and welcoming. at first i really felt like my best self there, i felt liked and included and my job performance was receiving good feedback. but i’m very sensitive, very sensitive to my environment, and especially sensitive at work. i mean if you’re in one place with the same people for 6-8 hours several days a week you are bound to go through more than one, maybe several moods and being at work you’re expected to maintain your composure whereas otherwise you are free to experience those emotive transitions however it pleases you. you are allowed to decompose. in a lot of ways i think coworkers might know the least and the most about you. that’s a dynamic that freaks me out a bit, and it always happens that at some point at a new job i feel myself coming undone beneath the watch of so many new eyes, which makes my undoing all the more potent and all the more stressful to experience. it’s a vulnerability i don’t always consent to. tonight i felt myself unraveling a bit, and i was nervous about their prior affection toward me being put in question because of it. realistically i know that i was not explicit in my undoing, nobody notices the shit you think they do and anyway, i am always so much more private than i seem. but what happens to me in the privacy of myself can be so loud and so overwhelming that i lose the ability to discern whether or not that volume is transgressing the boundaries of my body and becoming audible to those around me. in any case, i feel uncomfortable. this relates to a generalized anxiety i have about being too seen. i trace this back to a severe fear of rejection, and a learned habit of dramatic withdrawal into myself as compensation.

so that leads me to the date i have on thursday. it’s with a boy who i have not met in person yet. i like to use dating apps because although i can be quite sociable and i make conversation easily with strangers it’s seldom that i meet anybody who interests me romantically enough to pursue them beyond platonic (or maybe slightly coy) interaction. this is my way of being deliberate, my way of having agency over my life and how i spend my time, my way of actively seeking out what i want which is romance first and foremost (though when that romance is not through people and my relationship to them it’s through so so so much more: art, literature, music, walks through the neighborhood, sleeps in the park, my friends, my best friends, etc. i’m obsessed with romance but i want to be clear that my definition of romance is rather vague and does not rely on dating).

so i met this person last year on a dating app but abruptly lost interest in dating, as i am wont to do, so i just stopped responding. to be fair we exchanged very little, barely any messages, so at that point ghosting them wasn’t yet a shitty thing to do. but this cycle, a year later, i found them again. i only kind of remembered them. this time i have taken more time to chat with them and i’ve discovered that they really interest me. i barely know anything about them but there’s something really attractive about them to me, about the way they communicate with me through text (which is silly and is a rather unreliable impression). so i am really excited to meet them. but i’m also really eager to just get the experience over with. in anticipation of our meeting i’m doing exactly what i hate to do, which is creating this version of them in my head that will inevitably be an idealized subject of comparison once we finally hang out. not only that, but i’m obsessively performing hypothetical conversations in my head, plotting my way around particular talking points, preparing myself with potential witty responses to things that they might say. i’m so insecure. i want them to like me. but i don’t even know if i like them. i live so much inside my fantasies. i am always elsewhere.

i’m scared of being myself in front of other people but there’s absolutely no other way for me to be. i can’t disguise myself at all, i am completely visible to whoever i’m talking to at the time. i’m terribly desperate and terribly scared at the same time. there is nothing else for me to do but be seen and there’s nothing else that i want than to be seen but the engagement is so scary because i must be seen by everybody but i don’t want to be seen by just anybody. you don’t know who is going to do what with you. it’s just such a gamble. suddenly i realize how trite this is. everybody feels this way.

my insecurity and my obsession when it comes to this has an effect similar to that which I described earlier, about work. i am forced to compensate for my insecurity and my obsession by delving deep inside of myself, where i also cannot help but be seen, but there is only me to do the seeing, and even if i am occasionally unkind to myself about what i see at least i know what is sacred in me, what is precious, what hurts and degrades but makes me. nothing about my exposed decomposure is disregarded by those who do not understand. what i’m trying to say is summed up well by clarice lispector who says it is inside of myself that I must create someone who understands. I understand myself. I am safe inside of myself.

i’m so fucking tired but i can’t sleep. it’s 3am and i haven’t been up this late for ages. sometimes while i’m talking the words trip out of my mouth. right now as i’m writing the words feel like they’re spilling out like they’ve melted inside of me. i have incredible faith in myself, despite the complexity of my self-consciousness that i just spent so much time describing to you. i know that i am lovable, which is really nice as i have gone a long time feeling unlovable. i’m too tired to say anything else

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magnaflourious-nerdity · 6 years

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B99 and The Good Place

YES. THANK YOU!!!! I LOVE THE GOOD PLACE AND BROOKLYN 99 SO MUCH. AND NOBODY EVER WANTS TO TALK TO/WITH ME ABOUT TGP. I made my friend watch it with me just so I could talk about it with someone lol. Also because it's just a genuinely good show. (Next up I'm gonna make her finish iZombie with me too, haha.)SO! For B99Favorite Main Character:Its gotta be either Rosa or Jake. You know I'm in love with both Andy Samburg and Stephanie Beatriz. (especially Stephanie Beatriz, *dreamy sigh*)Fun fact! My favorite side character is Kevin. Whether it's in B99, The Good Place, or on the Thrilling Adventure Hour, I love the deadpan humor of Marc Evan Jackson. He is, after all, a naughty bitch ;p. Favorite Female Character:Oh, for sure this goes to Rosa Diaz. I love her so much and Stephanie Beatriz plays her to absolute perfection. it's so cool to be able to see such a badass lady cop on TV, who both plays to and subverts the typical Strong Silent Badass™ trope. Rosa is from a cooler world than any of us.OTP:I know it's a boring answer, but it's gotta be Jake and Amy. From the jump their relationship was built on mutual (if, admittedly at first, somewhat begrudging) respect and trust. They were friends, which is so rewarding to see. There have been couples like that on TV before, but usually it's all a lot of 'will they, wont they- which can be fun too if done right, like seasons 1 and 2 did -but it's refreshing to see it played in such a different way. Jake just straight up told her and didn't expect anything to come from it. He didn't pressure her to like him back and he didn't even hate on Teddy (until he got all weird and creepy in later seasons, and even then he was polite) while he was dating her. He respects her and treats her well and I will forever remember the scene where he tells everyone why/how he decided to propose to her, it was perfect and truely sweet. Jake and Amy make each other better. He helped her to loosen up a little and compromise without getting rid of her take- charge, eager-to-please attitude or her independance, and in turn she made him into a (slightly) more mature person. Amy helped turn Jake into a (somewhat) functional adult, but she didn't force him to lose his fun, childish side either. They genuinely care for each other in a way that you dont often get to see on TV between Het Couples. Like the episode where Amy takes the Sargent's exam and Jake says he always knew Amy would be his boss one day? HE RESPECTS HER SO MUCH. Almost any other sitcom would have Jake's arc for that episode be about him feeling insecure at the thought of his future wife being his boss, but B99 didn't and I love them for it. Their love is so sweet and believable. I even teared up a little during the wedding scene because I'm an absolute sap like that. I also really, really like the chemistry between Rosa and her potential new girlfriend Alicia (as played by the also amazingly beautiful and talented Gina Rodriguez.) They had immediate chemistry- which I'm huge on -and Alicia seems like a genuinely cool and sweet woman. Anyone who can make Rosa lose her composure in front of people she cares about has gotta be something special. I'm hoping in the next season NBC will let them bring Gina Rodriguez back and she and Rosa will become TV's gayest and most dynamic power couple. That would be pretty sweet. Sorry that this has turned into Rosa and Jake fest. But if it helps, Holt and Kevin are definitely couple goals too and I'm glad Kevin'sgetting so much more screen time. I agree with Jake: I also want them to be my two gay dads. Not that I dont love my dad, I'm just welcoming in the extra role models, lol. Lord k ow I probably need it.NoTP:I love that the show steered away from it, because I wasn't really much a fan of the Boyle/Diaz Dynamic of season 1. But, I do honestly love them as bros together. It's another trope the show subverts since Charles is the one who's super in touch with his emotions and helps out Rosa in her relationships when she has trouble expressing hers. I just... I really love relation/friendships built on trust and respect. It's my jam.Favorite Other Pairings:I know she's not your fave but I do like Gina and Rosa together, they have a fun, snarky vibe together and Gina does genuinely care for Rosa and respect her opinions, way more than she does with most other people. Except maybe Holt. Also Amy and Rosa. I love episodes where the two of them team up together. Basically, what I'm saying here is that I just want Rosa to date ALL the girls on the show, haha.Least Favorite Character:I hate to say it, but I want a huge fan of Pimento? Like, he was dangerous and rude and I know he went through a lot of trauma undercover, but dude needed some help, and I mean just that, really. He needs to be in therapy for his PTSD because it's affecting his relationships and his whole life.I'm not too big a fan of Hitchcock either, just because like... Okay, so, Scully is dumb and occasionally rude, but at least he tries to be nice most of the time and even tries to contribute; Hitchcock is... kind of a jerk most of the time? I know that's the point, but still... like, fix yourself my dude.Also, I do really love to hate The Vulture. He's insufferable, but his dynamic with the team and their hate for him is so much fun to watch. Of course when I say least favorite, I still like these characters, it's just that if I had to pick, it would be these three.Favorite Season/Episode:I actually really like this past season a lot. Like, so much happened! ROSA CAME OUT! JAKE AND AMY GOT MARRIED! HOLT AND KEVIN GOT QUALITY SCREEN TIME AS A COUPLE! It was pretty amazing.I love the episode where Rosa came out to her parents. It was so sweet ♡ and I think it's really important that it ended in such a medium place. Like, that happens to people sometimes other TV shows, sometimes parents dont either accept you wholeheartedly or kick you out and denounce you. Sometimes, you just get stuck in a crappy in between place (note: not deflection btw, my parents are cool with my identity, but I has happened to people I know and it sucks watching them try and get through it without sacrificing the relationship between them and their parent[s]). And we never get to see that because TV likes to focus on the extremes. And Rosa found out that you can find your own family if you need too. Which, as you know, I am always up for in my media. Found family tropes for everyone!Who Would I Date:I mean... look how many times the words Jake and Rosa have come up in this post. In your heart of hearts you know the answer to this question.Rosa (whom I have to separate from her actress because I love them both, and for different reasons) would be a little hard to date for me, just because she's so closed off and sometimes ya girl needs some validation of affection. But she's so...so cool. She does the right thing, even if she'd rather hit the problem in the face with an axe, and I know she's a police officer but it still counts, damnit. She has all these layers to her, like the dancing and the gymnastics and stuff. She doesn't reject traditional femininity, it just doesn't appeal to her. Also I bet she'd make anyone feel hella safe. She's... honestly the best word I can come up with right now is dreamy. Rosa Diaz is a Dreamboat with a capital D, and I'm sorry, but if you dont think so you're wrong.Jake is kind of the polar opposite. The only thing I would see becoming a hypothetical issue in the hypothetical relationship is that I can also be immature and messy and garbage at being an adult. We'd be too similar and it wouldn't help anyone, unlike with Jake and Amy. But he's so sweet and caring and funny. He's a genuinely great guy who respects everyone who deserves it, and sometimes even people who don't. Plus he's definitely a good cuddler and I like being the big spoon, so that would work out well for us.----------------------As for The Good Place:(WARNING! Spoilers for The Good Place are below, so if you're asking me but haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend skipping this until you do watch it, because I don't want to spoil anything for you. It's that good.Favorite Main Character:How, actually, do you choose on this? How?!? I love them all so much, truly. Chidi is a nervous smol (though also very tol) beanpole. Eleanor is always a Mood™ and she shows so much growth over the course of just 2 seasons (same with Michael, but that'smore over the course of 1 season. I'llgive him a pass though because it was entertaining as hell when he finally realized the concept of mortality). Jason became so much more lovable and sweet in season 2. Janet is my favorite omniscient NonBinary robot ever. And Tahani is, to quote Eleanor directly, "A sexy, tan rapunzel. The dream." Plus, she really knows how to go all out with something, which is fun. I loved how into her role as Rhonda Mumps she got. Plus, watching her tell off her parents was so good.I think I'm gonna have to go with Either Chidi Eleanor or Janet. That's as much as I can narrow it down though, because I am weak.Favorite Female Character: Well, since Janet is not a girl, but instead- as mentioned above -an omniscient NonBinary robot person, I'll go with Eleanor. I think I just really relate to her character. Which means I should probably shape up my life, lol. But it's so nice to see a smart, funny, unladylike and kinda sleazy character, who ultimately has that heart of gold and a desire for self-improvement played like this by a woman as a main character. She's like the likeable, morally gray sidekick in so many romcoms, but she gets to be the focus for once. I dig it. Also, I tend to flock towards bi-coded characters. Have you seen Eleanor's collection of flannels (Janet could literally get her anything to wear, but mah girl craves that bi aesthetic)? Any of her interactions with Tahani? That girl is bi af, if not pan. OTP:Oh, for sure it's Teleanor (Elhani?). Like, the chemistry between Jameela Jamil and Kristen Bell is so thick. They're so good together! And I swear if I dont get a flashback to attempt #218 at some point I will cry. 2nd OTP is Chidi/Eleanor because a) they're super cute together, B) they make each other better, and C) LOOK MA, ITS AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE AS THE MAIN FOCUS OF A SITCOM WHERE THE POC IS A DUDE! I've heard tell of it in legends but never seen it before in real life! I joke, but seriously, it is neat to see.Runner up: J² (aka Janet & Jason). What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute, oddball couples who shouldn't work but ultimately do.NoTP:I wasn't very keen on Tahani/Jason. Like, it was a fun distraction, and it did lead to the scene where Tahani tells her parents she ate a cheeto, and it also gave us some much needed Janet screen time/character arc stuff, but they just didn't work for me as a couple. I think, though, that that was kind of the point? Like, they needed to make that mutual mistake together so they could get to where they needed to be. Jason grew up a bit and learned to problem solve and Tahani gained confidence and the personal growth she needed to tell off her douchey parents.Favorite Other Pairings: Is it weird to say Shawn/Michael? I feel like it is, but I would still read it. Also maybe Janet/Eleanor. That could be fun.Least Favorite Character:This is slightly less tough than the questions above, but if it came down to it and I had to pick, I'd probably say it's pretty much just amounts to a few of the characters that the show designed for me to hate.Figuratively, everyone in Tahani's family is a garbage human being. And not in like, the fun, likeable way that say Eleanor or Jason were 'garbage people,' but in the awful, 'I would gladly punch you in the face' kind of way instead. Same goes for Eleanor's parents and her roommates (Though the one who remained her friend after she switched up everything in the season finale was okish in S2, what little I saw of her). It's super weird, but I actually do like the demons for the most part. Shawn is amazing to watch, which I, in large part, chalk up to Marc Evan Jackson's performance. And I even liked Vicky and Trevor, in that same, The Vulture from B99 sort of way. So literal demons are more likeable than the characters mentioned above, which should tell you something.Favorite Season/Episode:Season 1 was amazing and that first Cliffhanger twist was wild and awesome and I didn't figure it out until about 30 seconds before Eleanor did because it was so good, but it wasn't just a twist for the sake of it either, like, the season was built around it and makes sense with it, which is really cool to see in a sitcom. HOWEVER, all things being equal and with that said, Season 2 was EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW?!?! they ditched the formula and changed it all up! It's a sitcom! They never do that! And they only spent like what, 1 to 2ish episodes replaying the new attempts? And they focused on some of the Bad Place characters too while they were doing it, so it didn't get boring. That could have so easily happened too, if it hadn't been handled as well as it was by the writers. But it was handled well and they kept changing things up and giving us more info on the characters lives and their deaths and all that good juicy character development stuff I love so much and it was so, so worth watching.Episode wise, season two had my favorite episodes too, starting with the big neighborhood-ending party and all the way up to the finale (the episodes before then were also great, obviously, but that run towards the end had me captivated so thoroughly I almost called in sick to work to finish them, haha.)The stuff where they infiltrate The Bad Place was golden. If I had, had, had to pick a single episode... yeah, nope, I'm still not able to because it comes up a tie between the one where they leave the neighborhood behind or the finale. There was so much good character stuff, and lots of little found family type moments and Mindy even got a little bit of a reward at the end! (Side note: something deep inside of me loves Mindy St. Claire so much and wishes I could have more of her confidence and fuck it attitude). The demons were hilarious and Judge Gen was a delight to watch! This show is just so good, it makes me want to cry a little. Just a bit. I'm so excited for season 3!! Less than a month left yeah! ♡Who Would I Date:It would probably come down to either Janet, or Eleanor. Tahani has potential, but she's too...aristocratic to actually date for me, I think. Chidi would be an amazing partner, but I feel like we're both such anxious people that it would quickly become an unmanageable tornado of stress and bad decision making, lol.Janet would be cool because she's weird and fun and chipper and so sweet, plus she has all the knowledge in the universe which is neat. I do love a smart cookie. And with Janet since I'm more demi/ace-ish and since she doesn't have sex parts, that would take a weight off my mind I think. So check off 'would date a self-aware, omniscient robot' on my list of weird character traits.Eleanor would also be a good candidate too because she's relatively down to earth and laid back, as well as being fun and relatable and just... kind of a cool chick. Plus, I know deep down she actually does care about things and is a decent human being, which is sort of a must in a partner, lol. The only drawback is that we might make each other worse because we'd probably let each other get away with a lot, so it might be somewhat counterproductive to the point of the show, haha. ----------------------Thank you so much for asking these! And for letting me rant and rave over my two favorite sitcoms in what has, apparently, turned out to be a fucking essay on 'Things I love about Brooklyn 99 and The Good Place'. Sorry I got so verbose about it. I'm also sorry that I, as a person, always fail so completely at making choices and narrowing things down, lol. But this was fun! Hopefully you've seen TGP, I'd absolutely hate, hate, hate to spoil such an excellent and surprising show for someone. Assuming you have, I'm gonna run over and ask you about this one too. In fact consider this an open invitation: if you need someone to talk to about B99 or TGP, consider me your gal!

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the-whoofwhoof · 3 years

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How Your Dog Is Mad At You

One thing you need to adore about dogs, regardless of whether it very well may be an agony in some cases, is exactly how human they can act. For instance, how about we take when your dog is mad at you. Despite the fact that we may not share or completely comprehend each other's language, when a dog is mad, there are sure "tells". Certain things that it does and ways it would act that it would not in any case demonstration if the dog was not mad at you. In any case, the rub is, the dog can't really let you know and work it out like us people can. The dog can just endeavor to show you and expectation you get on the conduct enough to understand the dog is mad at you. Trust us, with a portion of these practices it isn't difficult to tell. Here are ten different ways to tell if your dog is mad at you. If you looking for best pet grooming in delhi visit to our website

Overlooks You

This passage is so entertaining on the grounds that it works similarly as consummately for people as it accomplishes for dogs. From numerous points of view, overlooking somebody who is conversing with you is probably the rudest thing you can do. Appears dogs have sorted this out after some time from noticing us. There are not many emotions more regrettable than your dog (and closest companion) faces from you when you are calling it, and you realize it is deliberately. The brush off is a work of art and appears to work, regardless of the animal or setting.

They'll "slap" you

Not a joke, there are incalculable recordings online that demonstrate this. Remember, it isn't so much a genuine slap (as a slap is less compelling with a paw than a hand), however more the dog is putting its paw on you to either tell you it might require something, or let you realize you are somewhat irritating. Once more, I figure they may have taken in this one from either watching us, or observing an excess of human TV. Nothing is very as compelling at telling somebody they are irritating you like a pleasant "love tap." If you are searching best dog grooming in delhi contact to whoof whoof.

Long, Blank Stares

The one can be recorded under disregarding, yet is an energetic (though mean) extension of it. You are requesting that your dog accomplish something, or calling it, or here and there or another simply attempting to invigorate it. However the dog is simply staying there, taking a gander at you. Not in an alarming manner, simply a long, clear gaze. As though to state "I can absolutely hear you, and on some other event I would respond, yet I am mad at you. So I am simply going to stay here and gaze at you, however eagerly overlook you, as well". Man, dog disses are the most noticeably terrible.

Making a special effort To Do Something They Know They Shouldn't

You know those minutes when you are mad at your life partner so you eat something they state you shouldn't or you do something contrary to what they request that you be resentful? Truly, this is the canine rendition of that. The dog might need to tell you it is angry with you, and an incredible method to do that is to accomplish something it realizes will get an infuriated response from you. Could be biting a cushion, could be tearing at trash. In any case, the dog may be doing it just to tell you are not its #1 individual at that time.

Indoor Business

You need to comprehend aroma checking and the non domesticated side of creatures to get this. We would prefer not to be realistic here, yet on the off chance that you get up one morning subsequent to hollering at your dog or your dog saw you being mean to somebody it truly cherished, don't be surpirsed to discover a shock in your shoe. Here and there it is to stamp strength, and in some cases it is to remind us our parts in this. Be that as it may, don't simply expect it was a misstep. A shoe is a little objective. That takes pre-intervention and a genuine resentment. If you are searching best dog grooming in delhi contact to whoof whoof.

Appears to be Lethargic

We realize this can now and again be an indication of dog wretchedness or even an ailment, so don't simply expect your dog is mad at you on the off chance that it appears to be torpid. In any case, there are events where certain varieties will act that way. They won't have any desire to take their strolls with you, or they won't get off the lounge chair when you ask them. While these can be documented under overlooking, this is somewhat more profound. Disregarding is essential as in the dog will at present be keen on its standard conduct, simply not you. For this situation, it very well might be both. This continues for sufficient opportunity, call the vet, however. Best to be protected than to make suspicions.

Rejects a Gift

You know those minutes when you get a truly appalling sweater from Aunt Glinda, yet you grin and take it? All things considered, if your dog is mad at you, it might really deny a blessing you got it. It very well may be something as straightforward as leaving a bite offering. Or on the other hand something as mind boggling as in a real sense, taking something you got it, and letting you see that it detests it. It can even make that one stride further by denoting the blessing promptly, or proceeding to get an old toy to show you that it doesn't take kickbacks. You will scarcely believe, when a dog goes that, you feel it.

Gets Aggressive

This is very uncommon so we needed to ensure it was lower on the rundown. Contingent upon the seriousness of what you did (or how your dog sees it) a few dogs can really get compromising or forceful. Remember, this would generally result from it seeing you or whomever it was pointing that animosity on being unheedfully forceful towards somebody it loves. As a rule, stress more over the disregarding.

Will Be Nicer To Others Around You

Possibly there are you two, a couple, and the dog has a place with both of you. Possibly one of you changed the dog's food. Perhaps one of you hollers excessively. In any case, dogs will in general switch up "top choices" occasionally to tell one of the individuals that they wrecked. This is a fundamentally the same as conduct to kids with guardians. Top picks are unquestionably picked in the midst of stress.

They Run Away

This is uncommon, as the majority of the situations where dogs flee result from arbitrary things (like entryway left open or creature seen outside and so on and so forth) Be that as it may, at times, if the creatures felt sufficiently frightened or furious enough, they have been known to run off. In spite of the fact that you truly wont need to stress over this, as not many creatures flee from home for being disturbed, it actually gives us a decent opportunity to remind you to central processor your dogs. So regardless of whether the more terrible occurs, in any event you can locate your canine companion and state sorry. If you looking for best pet grooming in delhi visit to our website

#best dog grooming in delhi #best pet grooming in delhi

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profoundlykim · 6 years

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>Trust in the VIBE

So, I don’t often post my thoughts here - on tumblr, but hey… the person I would say all this to isn’t interested in what I have to say! And… I’m that girl that needs to get things off my mental, just to keep my ENERGY BALANCED and mantain a GOOD VIBES. Plus, my bestfriend seems to think I should write about these things- I think mostly because of how I deliver my ‘he better not get this fucked up’ stories… Anyway, fuck him and that!

As I said before, I honestly, wholeheartedly believe in ENERGY and VIBES. I believe there are bad energies and bad vibes, as much as there are good! And, people can choose what they stay around - which energy and vibe exactly they want to be surrounded by. The good and or the bad! Yes, I do. So, I smoke my ganja and burn my incense and light my candles and drink my wine and occasionally practice yoga, and listen to music and meditate because… I am attracted to/stimulated by FUCKING GOOD VIBESSSSS! And those things I listed, I believe, contribute significantly to bringing about and maintaining good vibrations!!! So, I'll forever emerge myself in those elements. And… only vibe and energy, just as good, AND if it’s better - well damn, all the more excitement and genuineness and pleasure! ...Only that nice, happy, honest, captivating, entiscing vibes can make me feel like leaving mine to mix with yours and share mine! I also understand that not everyone will understand or like my kind of vibe or vice versa, which is fine! But at least ensure you know what it is you are involved in.

I say all that to say, don’t let these lil boys TELL you shit! (And listen, I’m not referring to age. Cos 'older’ doesn't mean they're more mature or grown- mentally, it only means more experienced!! So yes, yu issa a lil bwoy - if yu acting up and not acting right!!) Don't just listen to the 'talkers'. You should be able to identify what FEEL GOOD feels like. If when you talk to that person and the vibes is right, you'll feel it. And when you go around that person and you make each other feel so nice, you'll feel that too. If their vibe not measuring up and the energy is off - listen to that! TRUST THAT SHIT!! If that person not making you feel how you need to be feeling... don’t move from where you are until you are comfortable and satisfied with the vibes you’re getting from that person. Don’t rush into things. Dont be forced either. Take YOUR TIME! ORGANIC is always better and more real and lasting. If that lil bwoy is in a rush and have somewhere else to be, FINE… Boy bye! "Mouth cut side ways fi talk" but, vibes - that shit isn't easy to fake, yu si actors must get tired and eventually come off their stage to rest. And the 'vibe' is what will point you in the direction to go. The vibe you're getting will let you know if you want to spend any or more time with that person and the level of sharing. And that's based on how good or bad of a vibe it is. That’s what I believe it means to taking the time to get to know someone new and working with the good vibes and rejecting or understanding the bad. I'll stay in my corner, in my solitude until I'm getting that nice; can't get enough; just want to be around you vibes. When I'm getting that I'm all yours and I'll unleash my niceness too, but only then. I AM WOMAN and I believe without a doubt in PUSSY POWER - knowing my worth... knowing what I need to feel like the woman I am - to feel adored and appreciated!!

If you're feeling unappreciated, trust that shit. If you're feeling disired, trust that shit. If you're feeling craved, trust that shit. DON'T BE SILENCED, OR IGNORED! Stay true to your ways, to your process - even if that's unattractive to some lil bwoy. If I’m 'typical’ because I'm not only listening to your 'noise’ but I’m watching your actions and I’m asking serious questions and scrutinizing...and I turn a statement/answer upside down until I understand it - then FINE. I’m Typical and Proud! And if you are not putting that much effort and care into getting to know me, BWOY BYE! I'm interested in a 'typical MAN' then.

You want to spend time with me? Why?...You don’t even know me!. …Oh, you want to get to know me? Okay, so what are you intentions? What exactly do you want to know? Oh, you have no ulterior motives! Great! I don’t see a problem there. Welcome in, get to know me! But remember I am 'typical' because I ask alot of questions so that I can ensure I understand completely and do not assume what the fuck you tryna say or do... and if you don't need all that scrutiny then, BWOY BYE.

Don’t be rushed into getting to know someone. That can’t be rushed. Frankly, it shouldn’t be either! When I say “get to know someone”, I dont just mean their history or their hobbies. I mean their MIND, their THOUGHTS and FEELINGS!! How they think. Why they believe in what they believe in. Where their interest lies. What their intentions are. That’s knowing someone! And whatever happens after, just happens… and it can be beautiful or it can be uniteresting! But, you can choose what you intake/partake in… By trusting the vibes you're getting and by extension, trusting that person! And maybe even loving that person for who they really are! Or Not! (And there are different types of love but this rant isn’t to outline my descriptions of different types of love. But, I don’t mean the love of wanting to make him your King, or wanting to procreate with him or even butterflies stomach) Listen... if the vibes and the energy is soooooo fucking good… and the frequency is moving fast, then lovely - all the better! But at least make sure you are comfortable with the pace. Dont be scared if it's fast! That’s just the fucking frequency you both are on because there’s nothing but constant good vibrations when both energies meet. And that's amazing!! And if it’s not the kind of pure, clean and healthy vibes that you like or want… as I said before, don’t fucking budge!! Stay there until you are comfortable or convinced - by your standards!! There is no reason for you to want to leave your peace to go sit in ugly, selfish, forced, judgemental vibes. Fuck that shit! Absolutely no reason! These boys are still out here tryna catch NUMBERS! Why the fuck u wanna get to know me? Do you really wanna get to know me? Are you listening to what I'm saying? Are you honestly interested in what I have to say? What is your agenda? What are your true intentions? How do you sincerely feel? Do you care about how I feel? No…? Well, bye!! There isn’t a gun to your head or me blowing up your phone. Bye!! It’s that simple! ...We jus' not vibing no more!

Shouldn't getting to know someone mean you are interested in and, more importantly, comfortable in knowing the answers to those questions above? I believe so!

And... always, always be fucking honest with how you feel! Don’t try to play! You shouldn't even want to! That’s for children. Games are for children and clowns. I ain’t got no time to waste! I can't be bothered with faking it! I just won't. I protect my good vibes, cos it as pure as it gets! Meaningful conversations and genuine interest must be present. You ask me how I feel about you? I’m going to be honest, I don’t know you enough to feel any way about you. I don’t mind getting to know you though! I can better answer that with time… But, I dig your vibe so far, you make me laugh. And that’s the truth! IF I'm feeling you and I'm attracted to your vibes trust me, you will fucking know!! I will tell you... you won't even have to ask! My entire being will be giving off that fucking vibe! I’m not easily attracted to people. So I wont lie and say I'm attracted to someone when I'm not. I don't see what good I can get from that shit!! And, I’m not a sexual person - I don’t just want to fuck, just because! I’m aroused by personal stimulation and is more interested in wholesome pleasure. Not just a fucking bruk/orgasm. I can do that my fucking self. And I’d rather do it by my fucking self too, if the vibe doesn’t suit me and if the vibe isn’t good! You can’t/don’t deserve to share in my fucking orgasm! No sir! I ain’t trying to run up and down with someone I don’t know... why should I want to either? How else do you get to know someone/something? Isn’t it with care and time? Or more importantly, WHY get to know someone new if you don't really want to?? Whats the real motive? Why waste all that time?? …You get me? Why else should we be around each other if not to share in the wholesome, unadulterated goodness?

I don’t get him!! He’s concerned about me “falling for him”. He says he doesn’t want me to fall for him! Boy how?? Why?? Do people just fall for people, just soh! In 2000 fucking 17?? Where? …Definitely not here!! Don’t you worry about that, if I fall for you its because I’m satisfied and, if we don’t last - I won’t mind. Because at least I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT IS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I KNEW WHAT IS 'WAS’ because I trusted the VIBES.

So, if you want really want to get to know me, I'm here to get to know. But listen, don't come around here thinking this 'island' needs any aid!! I'm fine, if it's fake and dirty and rushed I DO NOT WANT IT!

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