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#so have this gay dragoon
lovable-bastard · 1 year
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Here’s a piece of the fanfic that I’m making, based on the idea of Arthur thinking Dragoon and Dolma being Merlin’s grandparents :D  
“Arthur was fucked. Truly and wholly fucked.
About a month ago Merlin revealed that he didn’t just have magic but was magic. It took some time for them to talk about it, but everything turned out fine. Merlin looked freer and happier, that was all that Arthur wanted for Merlin. He wanted him to be free and happy.
Then Merlin started to tell Arthur everything that he has missed, been left out of. Which, to Arthur’s dismay, is a lot. Jesus, he gets attacked a lot.
Merlin talked about his first day, first fight, everything. At some point he mentioned Dragoon, which got Arthur thinking about that weird and just plainly rude old sorcerer (or is he a wizard?, he should ask Merlin. Or Morgana, because apparently, she has magic as well and so does his new knight, which Arthur has to admit, should have remembered. It’s not every day you smuggle a druid boy.), he was something of a character, he was rude and somehow knew how he treated Merlin (Though it was blown way out of proportion, he checked with Merlin, just in case the old man was right). Dragoon also dressed weirdly, at least compared to other druids, but he also isn’t the most sane person out there”
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pippuns · 9 months
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finished ff16 :)
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astrxealis · 9 months
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absolute refusal to see any ffxvi spoilers aside from the ones i unfortunately know. which is barely anything. just clive and cid for some reason in (???)
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wizardbracket · 1 year
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Round 1: Match 49 of 64
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Why they deserve to be the ultimate wizard according to YOU:
Merlin:
"He's gay, he is literally the embodiment of magic. He waits over 2000 years for Arthur to return and he is still waiting"
"The Greatest Sorcerer to Ever Walk the Earth, The Last Dragonlord, Dragoon the Great"
"He’s the most powerful wizard at the time however I do feel like it’s maybe his fault that Arthur dies? But that’s controversial so I think he deserves to battle it out"
Prospero:
"The tempest is a Shakespeare play so prospero is one of the ogs"
"The rightful duke of Milan, Prospero was so absorbed in his pursuit of knowledge that his brother banished him to a remote island. There, Prospero spent Miranda's entire childhood growing more powerful and waiting for the chance to exact his revenge. When that chance is within his grasp however, and the royals and servants he's marooned on his island have been sufficiently tormented, he spontaneously forgives them for his daughter's sake."
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topbanana-art · 4 months
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Finally making an OC info post- by no means is this all of them, just ones that are most active and/or live in my head rent free.
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First up- Rhys (DnD 5e - Rime of the Frostmaiden)
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20 years Old, Half Orc, Half Elf (sweet baby angel) , He/Him
Fighter- Echo Knight
Absolute Ray of Sunshine; Rhys is from Icewind Dale; more specifically the Nomadic Reghed Tribe of the Elk.
He's unfamiliar with the outside world and even includes settlements in his own country
He's a Himbo basically a big dog.
This campaign lead him to leaving his tribe for the first time after an unfortunate accident which turned him into a small 'painted child' and searching for his missing sister. (both these are sorted now!)
*Rhys found an old oil painting of this child, blacked out and next thing he knew he was that small elf child. Her skin and clothing having the texture of painted canvas, and bleeds paint.
For a good chunk of the campaign he was just a totally normal elf- whose shadow didn't match with the body
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Dhalas (DnD 5e Annalor)
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36 Years Old, They/Him, Triton
Drunken Master Monk
Chill surfer dude vibes
Part of a travelling circus, They're a balancing act
Extremely laid back, Dhalas talks like they fight- dancing around, seemingly without rhyme or reason and occasionally clumsy.
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Foxglove (BG3)
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138 Years old (tweaked her age a lil), She/They, Drow
Arcane Trickster Rogue
Guild Artisan Background- Locksmith & Apprentice Finesmith
Chill and sassy, that Tav who talks their way out of shit.
Skews Towards Chaotic Good
Presents Androgynous most of the time
Must lockpick everything- she's not actually super interested what's inside, she just wants to see the workmanship of the locks and trashtalk how bad they are.
Yeah she's smooching the vampire. (and Halsin)
Naturally cares for others, even at the cost of her own wellbeing.
Has a Phobia of anything touching/going near her eyes- so the start of the game is A Time for Fox.
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Arslan Dhoro (FFXIV)
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21 Years Old (as of ARR), He/Them
Xaela AuRa
Dragoon - White Mage Main (All healer classes tbh)
Stoic, Resting Angry Face Himbo
He struggles to show emotion but he's just pretty shy and cautious about opening up to others.
From the Azim Steppe, he left in his early teens with his father after the death of his mother, to explore the world beyond the Steppe.
His Father Died in his late teens, attacked in Coerthas thinking he and Arslan were Dravanians.
He's extremely soft and protective for the Scions/his friends
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Shiv (DnD 5e Saltmarsh- campaign completed)
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Awful, terrible lesbian
68 years old, She/Her, Halfling
Celestial Warlock - Unicorn Patron w/ a Baby Phoenix familiar, Toby
A piece of shit. Is an absolute asshole and wont let you know she cares.
Lowkey magical girl
Ex-smuggler, who's patron is literally 'I can fix her', 'she can be a better person'. Part of the 'Beyond Skeletons' Pirate crew, she's the medic of the crew.
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Pymmyr Tathnel (DnD 5e)
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Pym
85 Years Old, He/They, Drow
Gloomstalker Ranger
Emotional Support Blink Dog, Princess Liquorice
This boy is scared all the time
Doesn't talk much, but speaks in a soft voice
Has disordered 'Sleeping' and Eating :)
His plague mask has tinted lenses to help ease the strain with how bright the surface is
I wont tell too much about them as a lot of their info is spoilers to other players. But this sad Drow just rocks up in my head on the regular.
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Erebus (Anima Beyond Fantasy)
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AKA- My first TTRPG character! circa 2011-2 I think???
Real name Sho Yoshimitsu
22 Years Old, He/Him
Duk'Zarist Nephilim
Assassin
Textbook 'strong silent and intimidating hot man'
But basically a big soft boy if you break past the mile thick ice
Tragic backstory™ , used to using his body for the job
He really enjoys cooking!
Also hopelessly in love with a small soft summoner, Caelum (the one hugging him), They're RedxBlue gays
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I think I'll leave it there for now!
I may add more later, I hope it was interesting?? and I'm still pretty shy with yelling this much about my characters haha.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far! 💜
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voidsentprinces · 5 months
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Mylla: Another word out of your mouth, Aldis and I'll beat you to death. Solkzagyl: Nah, therapy would take too much time. Imma just create an entire gaslighting plot around my death to recreate batman for Ishgard. Wyrnzoen: We get into some mild shenanigans here. Curious Gorge: I could try to look inward and explore my emotions...or I could just keep hitting things. Fray: This is bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that's a scam, fuck the church, here's a dark soul crystal. Sophie: Walk, walk, fashion baby. Hamon: It isn't violence against the elderly, if I call it TRAINING and I AM the elderly. Widargelt: Going to have more royal drama than the Sultana. Foulques: Gridania is racist...they will never fix this. But I can! BECAUSE I AM THE BEST LANCER IN THE WOR--OH NO! Estinien: Ishgard is classist...they will never fix this. But I can! BECAUSE I AM THE BEST DRAGOON IN THE WOR--OH NO! Jacke: We can stab people AND stop acts of terrorism. Karasu: Just having a little giggle. Having a bit of a laugh. Master Musosai: DAME DA NE! DAME YO DAME NA NO YO! Drusilla: Grandad was mad that the Emperor trolled him and is now making it everyone's problem. Sylphie: You may not like it but this is what peak conjury looks like. Raya-O-Senna: Hello and welcome! A-Ruhn-Senna: Die in a forest fire. Alka: Is it me or is that tonberry kinda...cute? Leveva: I would say I am sorry for blacking out, beating you and then burying you up to your neck in the middle of Coerthas. But I am not. Jannequinard: It is QUITE fine, my dear Lady Leveva. You did only what the stars asked, as any astrologian worth their salt would do. Aries Rising and all that. Loifa: I could easily explain my motives and backstory but this quest line has to last 8 more levels. Silvairre: Gridania is racist and shall never change its wa--oh no something happened to me personally. I have seen the error of my ways! Sanson: I can still hear his voice. Guydelot: Gay, gay, homosexual, gay, gay Stephanivien: Gonne training requires a steady hand and a leveled head. So I shall send you to someone who will teach you these things. Rostnstahl: ...sorry what? That guy over there has been looking at me for a while. Joye: That's your reflection. Rostnstahl: Oh right...hey you, shoot that guy over there in the ass. Nashmeira: Therapy would take too much time, lets dance for people's enjoyment. Cocobuki: How do you feel about casting Fire I for 50 levels? Shatotto: An arrow may have your name on it. But a fire ball is addressed to whom it may concern. K'lyhia: If my calculations are correct, you are only in this to get God and Anime on your side. Y'mhrita: I hear you know my sister. Well good news, cause we're about to harnass the power of GOD AND ANIME TO OUR SIDE! X'rhun: Yeah, I don't know why people keep running past and yelling, "Would you care to fuck this catman". Martyn: I am helping cure the smallpox by putting on shows to raise awareness. Quickly, VOMIT A FISH AT ME!
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pub-lius · 4 months
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back back back again with the lafayette content (lafayette pt. 5)
you know the drill, here's pt. 4, gay people
Where we left off, Lafayette had just had a very exciting campaign in Rhode Island (the most exciting thing to ever happen in Rhode Island), but now what? Nothing. Nothing is happening. I'm not joking, he was bored for several months.
So, here's the real question, how would you, as a little French man in America who somehow obtained the title of major general, handle your boredom? Correct! You would duel Lord Carlisle, the head of the British peace commission.
Or at least, you'd try. Lafayette challenged Carlisle, but Carlisle fucking ignored him. Because obviously.
So when that fell through, Lafayette decided to just. go home. Not permanently, but for a visit. I mean, he was only gone for like a shit ton of time, and had left behind his pregnant wife without a real explanation, and in that time his eldest daughter, Henriette, had DIED. So, it was about time to go home. And when he was contemplating this, he checked how much money he had left, and realized he was broke and was like yeah it's time to go home.
In addition to this, he also wanted to apologize to the king since he kinda fled the country against direct orders and nearly started a war with England. One of Lafayette's main goals in life was to fight under the French flag, and he couldn't really do that unless the king liked him. So, he got a letter of recommendation and the promise of a ceremonial sword from Benjamin Franklin, and headed home to France.
Back, back, back again (in France)
Everyone was SO HAPPY to see Lafayette in France, and I would be too. Lafayette went to Versailles and was like "heeyyy King Louis XVI, my favorite king of all time, I'm really sorry for fleeing the country despite direct orders not to and nearly starting a war with England, do you forgive me?" and King Louis XVI put him on house arrest. But, to be fair, that is a very mild punishment, considering what he did was somewhat akin to treason.
Also, fun fact for the frev/Marie Antoinette girlies who know about her relationship with Lafayette during the French Revolution, she actually intervened on his behalf, which allowed him to buy a command of a regiment of the King's Dragoons! Which is like a huge favor because that command cost him 80,000 livres, which in modern US dollars is what the scholars call a shit ton.
This new popularity in France allowed him to aid the American cause in France by corresponding with French and American dignitaries, advocating the wants and needs of one side to the other. He actually played a vital role in this area, and John Adams, who did absolutely fuck all, got jealous and started beef with him for no fucking reason.
Lafayette didn't forget about his military ambitions, and was apart of a plan to attack the English mainland with John Paul Jones. This didn't work out and Lafayette was greatly disappointed (again), but it would never have been supported by France, so idrk what they expected. Fun fact, this was one of the many ideas Benjamin Franklin and Lafayette came up with together, along with a kinda gruesome children's book.
In the meantime, Lafayette daydreamed about being sent back to America in charge of the French naval forces he helped to negotiate. As you expected, he was very disappointed when they were put under the command of Rochambeau, who was just overall more qualified for the job.
While he was in France, he engaged in some ~aristocratic adventures in the arts and sciences~, and that's not an innuendo, he almost joined Franz Mezmer's cult. This is, actually, the first of two times he almost JOINED A FUCKING CULT. The second time was an Amish cult. So. There's that.
(If necessary, I can employ my boyfriend to explain how Lafayette was exactly the kind of person to get roped into a cult.)
In America Again! (This time it's Serious)
Lafayette returned in a bleak season of the war in which many of the Continental officers (Washington included) were itching for a major engagement with the British, and planned a French-American attack at some large British occupied area, hopefully with a good port.
The ideal place seemed to be New York City, and Lafayette was fixated on that. He was hoping he could have a major command in the attack. And, you guessed it, was super disappointed when he was ordered to march to Virginia to join General Greene. He was present for most of the Virginia campaign, and his main target was the traitor, Benedict Arnold.
PLOT TWIST that major attack was never in New York, but would actually be at Cornwallis' station in Yorktown, Virginia. Lafayette commanded the major Continental infantry forces that kept Cornwallis pinned at Yorktown while the commands under Washington, Rochambeau, and Admiral de Grasse surrounded him in a violent siege.
The one catch-up was that the trenches they were digging couldn't fully surround the British reinforcements due to two redoubts, 9 and 10. Lafayette's American command (led by Colonel Alexander Hamilton with his own command and Colonel John Laurens with a division under Greene) partnered with a division under Rochambeau to attack the redoubts, which led the British to surrender.
One of my favorite little details about the Revolution is that, at the surrender, the British troops refused to look at the American soldiers, so Lafayette told his band to start blasting Yankee Doodle to get their attention. Absolute icon.
I'm gonna cut this one a little early since this is the end of Lafayette's involvement in the American Revolution, and the French Revolution will require WAAYYY more attention. See you in part 6, gay people
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homomenhommes · 3 months
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THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY
based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … December 26
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1716 – Thomas Gray, the English writer, was born on this date (d.1771). "My life is now but a perpetual conversation with your shadow - The known sound of your voice still rings in my ears. I cannot bear this place, where I have spend many tedious years within less than a month, after you left me ..." So wrote Thomas Gray to a young man when he was 54. Professor of Modern History at Cambridge University and one of the best known poets of his time. He was also more than likely still a virgin, although he may have had a homosexual affair with Horace Walpole when he was younger.
The author of "An Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard," Gray had lived most of his life with his mother, but was known to have cultivated the Platonic friendship of handsome young men. One of Professor Gray's young men introduced him to the Swiss charmer, Charles de Bonstetten – and Gray was hooked. He was profoundly, deeply in love. When Bonstetten left Cambridge a year later, the poet was devastated. But the friends exchanged letters, and the young man suggested they take a walking tour together in Bonstetten's native Switzerland. Gray was overjoyed. The trip was scheduled for the summer of 1771 and Gray wrote tireless letters of devotion while counting the ticking minutes. Finally, the time was near. He would be leaving to see his handsome young man again. The poor poet dropped dead before he had taken one step out the door.
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1795 – William Drummond Stewart (d.1871) was a Scottish adventurer and British military officer and homosexual. He traveled extensively in the American West for nearly seven years in the 1830s. In 1837 he took along the American artist, Alfred Jacob Miller, hiring him to do sketches of the trip. Many of his completed oil paintings of American Indian life and the Rocky Mountains originally hung in Murthly Castle, though they have now been dispersed to a number of private and public collections.
Born at Murthly Castle, Perthshire, Scotland, Stewart was the second son and one of seven children of Sir George Stewart, 17th Laird of Grandtully, 5th Baronet of Murthly and of Blair. The family decided that William would go into the Army (as his older brother would inherit his father's estate and title). After his seventeenth birthday in 1812, William asked his father to buy him a cornetcy in the 6th Dragoon Guards. After his appointment was confirmed on April 15, 1813, he immediately joined his regiment and began a programme of rigorous training.
Stewart was anxious to participate in military action; so in 1813, his father purchased for him an appointment to a Lieutenancy in the 15th King's Hussars, which was already in action during the Peninsular Campaign. In 1814, Stewart joined his regiment, subsequently seeing combat during the Waterloo campaign in 1815. In 1820, Stewart was promoted to a Captain and soon thereafter retired on half pay.
Seeking adventure, Stewart traveled to St. Louis, Missouri in 1832, where he brought letters of introduction to William Clark, Pierre Chouteau, Jr.,William Ashley and other prominent residents. He arranged to accompany Robert Campbell, who was taking a pack train to the 1833 rendezvous of mountain men, an annual all-male gathering of fur traders, a drunken debauch held each summer when trappers gathered to trade their pelts for food, liquor and manufactured goods brought to the Rockies from St. Louis by companies of fur traders.
The party left St. Louis on May 7 and attended the Horse Creek Rendezvous in the Green River Valley of Wyoming. Here Stewart met the mountain men Jim Bridger and Thomas Fitzpatrick, as well as Benjamin Bonneville, who was leading a governmental expedition in the area.
At the rendezvous Stewart met the Metis (French Canadian and Cree) hunter Antoine Clement, with whom he began a homosexual relationship. With some of the men, Stewart visited the Big Horn Mountains, wintered at Taos, and attended the next rendezvous at Ham's Fork of the Green River. Later that year, he journeyed to Fort Vancouver, Washington, at the coast of the Pacific Ocean.
Stewart attended the 1835 rendezvous at the mouth of New Fork River on the Green and reached St. Louis in November. Finding that his finances were curtailed because he brother had failed to forward his share of the estate left by their father, Stewart went to New Orleans, speculated in cotton to recoup, and wintered in Cuba.
In May, he joined Fitzpatrick's train to the Rockies for another rendezvous on Horse Creek. For the rendezvous of 1837, Stewart took along an American artist, Alfred Jacob Miller, whom he hired in New Orleans. Miller painted a notable series of works on the mountain men, the rendezvous, American Indians, and Rocky Mountain scenes. He wintered in 1836-1837 and 1837-38 at New Orleans, where he speculated again in cotton. In 1838 he learned that his childless older brother John had died of an undisclosed disease (probably cancer). William Stewart would become the seventh baronet of Murthly.
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"Attack by Crow Indians" Alfred Jacob Miller
After his older brother John Stewart died childless in 1838, William inherited the baronetcy and returned to Scotland, taking with him his partner Antoine Clement, and the couple lived in Dalpowie Lodge, while entertaining in Murthly Castle. Stewart explained Clement's presence by at first referring to him as his valet, then as his footman. Because Clement was restless and unhappy in Scotland, the couple spent many months traveling abroad, including an extended visit to the Middle East.
In 1842 he returned to America, and in the summer of 1843 hosted a private rendezvous-style party at a remote lake in the Rockies (now called Fremont Lake). On that trip Jean Baptiste Charbonneau, the son of Sacagawea of the Lewis and Clark Expedition was hired to care for the mules.
Stewart returned to North America in late 1842, and in the September of 1843 he and a large entourage traveled to what is now Fremont Lake. Stewart brought with him a large array of velvet and silk Renaissance costumes for his all-male guests to wear during the festivities. He hauled wagon loads of canned delicacies, cigars, liqueurs and champagne. Fur trader William Sublette co-hosted the party with Stewart. Though there had been no rendezvous since 1840, the party had many elements of the old Rocky Mountain gatherings. Stewart had planned to spend the winter of 1843-44 in New Orleans, and visit Taos and Santa Fe the following spring, but the Renaissance "pleasure trip" ended in a dispute that split the party and caused Stewart to return to Scotland earlier than he had planned, never to return to the United States.
In 1856 Stewart's American friend Ebenezer Nichols, his wife, and three sons, visited from Texas. When it came time to leave Scotland, the Nichols's middle son, Franc, declined to return home. He instead stayed on with William Drummond Stewart at Murthly Castle, possibly in a sexual relationship, eventually being adopted by Stewart and becoming his primary heir.
Stewart died of pneumonia on April 28, 1871.
Stewart wrote two autobiographical novels based on his experiences in America, Altowan (1846) and Edward Warren (1854). Both novels include surprisingly frank homoerotic scenes.
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1933 – On this date the Gay classic film Queen Christina was released and starred Greta Garbo in the lead role. The American pre-code historical drama film was directed by Rouben Mamoulian and written by H. M. Harwood and Salka Viertel and based on a story by Salka Viertel and Margaret P. Levino.
The movie is very loosely based on the life of the 17th century Queen Christina of Sweden, who, in the film, falls in love during her reign but has to deal with the political realities of her society. It was billed as Garbo's return to cinema after an eighteen-month hiatus.
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1971 – Jared Leto is an American actor, singer, songwriter, and director. After starting his career with television appearances in the early 1990s, Leto achieved recognition for his role as Jordan Catalano on the television series My So-Called Life (1994).
He made his film debut in How to Make an American Quilt (1995) and received first notable critical praise for his performance in Prefontaine (1997). Leto played supporting roles in The Thin Red Line (1998), Fight Club (1998) and American Psycho (2000), as well as the lead role in Urban Legend (1998), and earned critical acclaim after portraying heroin addict Harry Goldfarb in Requiem for a Dream (2000).
He later began focusing increasingly on his music career. Leto is the lead vocalist, multi-instrumentalist and main songwriter for Thirty Seconds to Mars, a band he formed in 1998 in Los Angeles, California, with his older brother Shannon Leto. Their debut album, 30 Seconds to Mars (2002), was released to positive reviews but only to limited success. The band achieved worldwide fame with the release of their second album A Beautiful Lie (2005). The band has sold over 15 million albums worldwide. Leto has also directed music videos, including the MTV Video Music Award–winning "The Kill" (2006), "Kings and Queens" (2009), and "Up in the Air" (2013).
Leto's performance as a transgender woman in Dallas Buyers Club (2013) earned him the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, among numerous other accolades. Leto is considered to be a method actor, known for his constant devotion to and research of his roles. He often remains completely in character for the duration of the shooting schedules of his films, even to the point of adversely affecting his health.
Leto is a gay rights activist. In October 2009, he raised money to the campaign against California Proposition 8, created by opponents of same-sex marriage to overturn the California Supreme Court decision that had legalized same-sex marriage. He spoke out in support of LGBT rights group Freedom Action Inclusion Rights (FAIR). In May 2012, he expressed support after hearing that Barack Obama had endorsed same-sex marriage.
Although Leto presents himself as straight in real life, Alexis Arquette - the transgender sister of David Arquette - claimed "I had sex with Jared Leto back when I was presenting as a male," Alexis stated. "And yes, it's not only massive, it's like a Praetorian Guard's helmet."
You can watch him grab and flaunt this "massive" chunk of meat at a 30 Seconds to Mars concert performance in Toronto in 2014 in the gif clip below.
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1973 – Reichen Lehmkuhl, (born Richard Allen Lehmkuhl) is an American former reality show winner, model, and occasional actor. A former United States Air Force officer, he is best known for winning season four of the reality game show The Amazing Race with his then-partner Chip Arndt, and for his much publicized 2006 relationship with pop singer Lance Bass.
After Lehmkuhl's parents, a policeman and a nurse, divorced when he was five, his family moved to Norton, Massachusetts, and his mother remarried. Sometime after 2002, he changed his first name legally from Richard to Reichen. Lehmkuhl graduated from the United States Air Force Academy. He has since advocated for gay rights in the military as a spokesperson for Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.
Lehmkuhl was working simultaneously as a physics teacher at Crossroads School for the Arts and Sciences, flight instructor and model in Los Angeles when he was approached by a casting director for The Amazing Race. Lehmkuhl and Chip Arndt were a couple during the competition but have since split. Lehmkuhl moved to Dallas, Texas briefly after his win on The Amazing Race but before all episodes had been broadcast. Reichen's spending habits at that time caused speculation that he had won The Amazing Race — and that he and Arndt had broken up. During the show, the couple was typically described as "Married" in the subtitles that are used to illustrate the relationship between team members (other teams being, for example, "Best Friends" or "Father-Daughter").
Lehmkuhl hosted The Reichen Show on Q Television Network until Q Television ceased operations in May 2006. His autobiography Here's What We'll Say, about his time in the Air Force under the military's commonly called "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, was released by Carroll and Graf on October 28, 2006. The New York Post reported in November 2010 that the book had been adapted into a screenplay. He published a beefcake calendar for several years and has appeared on sitcoms, soap operas, and other reality television shows.
On July 2006, former 'N Sync band member Lance Bass told People Magazine that he is gay and in a "very stable relationship" with Lehmkuhl. The couple broke up in January 2007. Bass said they remained "good friends".
On May 1, 2007, the LGBT-interest television network here! announced that Lehmkuhl had joined the cast for the third season of its original gothic soap opera, Dante's Cove. He plays the role of Trevor, originally described as "a business school graduate who comes to Dante's Cove looking to find himself."
Lehmkuhl also has a jewelry line called Flying Naked composed of flight-themed jewelry made of titanium steel. Items from the collection are being sold from loveandpride.com. A percentage of each sale goes to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.
Lehmkuhl starred in My Big Gay Italian Wedding, an off-Broadway production from its opening May 5, 2010 in New York City to July 24, 2010. A percentage of ticket sales promoted legalization of same-sex marriages in the US through Broadway Impact.
LGBT-interest network Logo announced on June 3, 2010, that Lehmkuhl and boyfriend, model Rodiney Santiago had joined the cast of Logo's reality series, The A-List: New York. The low-rated series, frequently described as a "Real Housewives"-style show, was cancelled after two seasons. Since the airing, Lehmkuhl and Santiago are no longer a couple.
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1995 – Conner Mertens is an American football placekicker for the Willamette Bearcats. He was the first active college football player to publicly come out about his sexuality; he came out as bisexual.
Mertens grew up in Kennewick in Tri-Cities, Washington, where he was the youngest of four boys in his family. Growing up, he always excelled at sports. He concentrated on athletics after an incident in fifth grade in which classmates teased him for remaining in costume and makeup after a drama competition.
According to Mertens, the environment at Southridge High School was "hostile", as he was surround by a culture of homophobia. He said the Tri-Cities was not the most friendly area toward the LGBT community. In 2012, 63 percent of the area voted against a measure for same-sex marriage that was ultimately approved by the state. Starting with his sophomore year in high school, Mertens was active in Young Life, a national organization that preaches Christianity to youth. After being in trouble in his freshman year, he credited Young Life with turning his life around.
Mertens redshirted and did not play football in his freshman year due to an anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) injury to his left knee from playing soccer. In January 2014, Mertens came out as bisexual, the first active college football player at any level to publicly come out. With his announcement, he was banned from working with Young Life, which he had been certain would be a part of the rest of his life; the organization's "Faith and Conduct Policies" did not allow any LGBT person to be a staff member or volunteer, though they could participate as "recipients of ministry of God's grace and mercy as expressed in Jesus Christ."
He became Willamette's kicker in 2014, when he also received limited opportunities as a punter. In his senior year, Mertens was named the placekicker on the Tri-City Herald All-Area second team. He was also a four-year starter on Southridge's soccer team. Conner is also a member of the Sigma Chi Fraternity.
Mertens is featured in Out to Win, a documentary about LGBT participation in American sports.
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kraefishh · 4 months
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figured i'd post mine and my friends wols on main for the time being while im still stockpiling stuff for when i eventually make that side blog for em
basic stuff is - 1) there's more than one wol 2) by more than one i mean there are seven of them 3) each one/two of them are designated for a specific expansion 4) i have so much stuff planned for them all and have not even finished stormblood (please help me)
also im putting them under a cut so the post isnt naturally extremely fucking long
SO WE'LL START IN ORDER!!!!
Alidae Mendica -- ARR WoL. only one without a "traditional" name convention. SMN/MCH/GNB. bloody banquet happened and she got to ishgard and went "NOPE. I'M DONE." and goes and spends most of her time at the skysteel manufactory with garlond ironworks.
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i love her very much she was the first i made. i nearly played an elezen but then really wanted to be small. so after finishing the opening cutscene i restarted and well!! shes here!! shes ready to kick some ass!!!
T'lyr Kho -- 1/2 Heavensward WoLs. is half miqo half garlean, possesses the third eye as well (hence the shaggy hair+forehead coverings). PLD/DRG/DRK/SGE. is never doing well at any given moment. he is (not) coping.
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he's the one who made me spiral and make 3 more characters. i love him so so dearly.
Touya Kawa (@twisted-solace's wol) -- the other Heavensward WoL. WAR/DRG/RPR. the most shy and well spoken but will not hesitate to cleave you. works himself to death (quite nearly literally!).
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i wish i had more to say about him other than he is very silly. him and t'lyr picked up lancer as a bonding experience and then got roped into dragoon lore (whoopsie!!)
Koren Cadoret -- 1/2 Stormblood WoLs. has 1v1'd Zenos too many times to count. very very protective of his sister and friends. MNK/SAM (plus blue mage and soon to be viper!!).
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I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM!!!! punch first ask questions later. wants to be everyone's friend. separation anxiety got his ass in shadowbringers cause he was the last wol to be summoned to the first.
Raana Cadoret -- the other Stormblood WoL. took her brother and left her village the moment she was declared to be the next matriarch. DNC/AST/RDM. likes to give koren shit about his poor decisions.
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she makes me go :) !!!!! we really cant decide if she picks up astrologian on the first or if she does it beforehand.
Sthallona Dhemskyltwyn -- 1.0 WoL and also Shadowbringers at the same time?? shes going through it. WHM/BLM. grew up the daughter of a famous pirate. Thancred's childhood best friend.
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feigned death after the calamity until she gets pulled to the first and is like "AH SHIT. HERE WE GO AGAIN." she gives me perhaps the most brainworms.
AND FINALLY
Sarangerel Malqir (@trying_to_cosplay on insta's wol) -- Endwalker WoL while also being a whole can of worms by herself. was her universe's only WoL before shit collided in shadowbringers and she met everyone else
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the love of my life-- ahem. currently only Warrior canonically because my friend is not even halfway through ARR. very much younger sibling energy to the rest of the scions/wols.
last notes - 1) t'lyr and touya are gay (lovingly referred to as 'the boyfs' by me and @twisted-solace) touya nearly fucking dies for t'lyr and t'lyr proceeds to go oh wait fuck i dont want to lose you. normal shit for their line of work. 2) koren canonically says "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" to zenos. and zenos proceeds to get very confused. zenos isnt even who he ends up with koren just likes fucking with him. 3) raana went through 3 different wol/npc ship ideas before we finally landed on haurchefant. that was hell. 4) alidae and cid are best friends!! stamp of approval right here!!! alidae also hates nero's guts. 5) if biggs and wedge (who i lovingly refer to as the 'lab boys') are around, alidae is not far behind. 6) alidae was named before i realized there was a character named alisaie. this is canonically a struggle for everyone. 7) sthallona swam her ass to sharlayan upon realizing that thancred had been taken under louisoix's wing. insert LET ME IN. LET ME IIIIIIN gif here. she wrote a thesis on how to combine conjuring and thaumaturge magic before ever knowing what a red mage was. (she is very stupid but also unnaturally smart). 8) t'lyr can't use magic. point blank. his third eye fucks that up for him. only reason he can be a Sage is because the magitek does it for him. on the bright side he's really good at parkour!!!
anyway if you got down this far thank you for looking at my blorbos. i am working (not very) hard to get that sideblog set up for these weirdos. i appreciate them very much they consume my every waking thought.
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coquettedragoon · 3 months
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do you have any "if you liked coquette dragoon you might like ..." reccs? or weird gay vn's in general? all i've read before is higurashi (except i had to stop bc it was so wordy and slow) soooo idek where to look or what to look for. tia :D
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lilbittymonster · 3 months
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WIP Game
Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs.
Well, that last one is right out bc I know for a fact I have too many wips to tag enough people, so this is remaining an open tag. In no particular order,
Into the Dragon's Maw
Song of War
Midnight wanderings
final chapter temple knights
shb ishgard kitstinien
Post ARR/HW
Estinien's no good very bad horrible day
First feeding
Not living just surviving
Blood isn't everything
post EW healing
shibari Aymeric
Post funeral
DRK contingency
Endwalker
Kitali wears a dress
two become one
Back from the first
estimeric wall sex
These bitches gay! Good for them
Reuniting
A chance encounter
kitstinien 1
Echoes of a Refrain
Untitled document
Got Possessed Club
Conversational Cutscenes
post mothercrystal
SB dragoon line
.......I have too many wips.
In my defense, though, a good third of these are just tiny little scenes that will get folded into larger fics eventually, but. Yeah.
Tagged by @crackinglamb 💜
Tagging @crystallineconflict specifically bc I know you're just as bad with WIPs as I am, and anyone else who writes and wants to share!
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wind-up-thancred · 5 months
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WELL. ive been putting off a proper character introduction post for katsu due to lack of sufficient motivation but HERE WE ARE FINALLY. my silly boy katsu. my darling son. my lizard kitty thing. lil long under the cut :)
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full name: katsu arahata race: raen au ra gender: cis male sexuality: gay height: 6 feet 9 inches (nice) nameday: 23rd sun of the 3rd astral moon age: 24 at the start of ARR. turns 25 shortly after stormblood, and turns 26 the same day patch 6.4 happens birthplace: southern shishu (whatever xiv's equivalent to okinawa is) occupation pre-ARR: lived in kugane with his parents, likely had a job at the mujikoza. reason for beginning journey: grew tired of his mother telling him how to run his life even as an adult as well as feeling like he had to live and breathe for the sake of the arahata family and nothing else, so he left kugane without warning, leaving only a note to his parents. residences: was born in southern shishu and raised there until age 5-6, when his mother decided she wanted him to get a better education in a more affluent part of hingashi, so they moved to kugane. eventually buys an apt & then a house in limsa. overall disposition: tends to be generally friendly and warm to most folks he meets, but the degree of such is based on how much he trusts you. for strangers, the friendliness is just a facade he puts up to keep himself safe, but once he trusts you he becomes a lot more genuine and expressive. loves making his friends laugh. has issues with anxiety and sensory overload but tends to hide them due to aforementioned trust issues, and only talks about them to his closest friends. enjoys learning and likes a bit of adventure, but generally prefers taking it easy. initially a bit of a pushover pre-ARR until EW due to habitual interpersonal conflict avoidance, but deep down greatly values his own agency. notable negative traits: can sometimes be distrustful, occasionally dishonest, avoidant, and ever so slightly vengeful. can be stubborn at times. copes with reality by romanticizing awful things or deluding himself that stakes are low even when they are not. and if that fails, he'll feel compulsions to abandon everything that he's worked for and start over anew... which he has given into at least once. hobbies: has a deep passion for the arts in general. has taken classes for folk singing and multiple instruments during his teens. worked backstage doing music for the mujikoza in his early 20s. enjoys theater but could never see himself taking the spotlight, claiming itd be too stressful. enjoys both pencil illustration and sumi-e painting, particularly when the subject is anything in nature. during MSQ, he learns a little bit from each crafter's guild in eorzea, but ends up enjoying weaving and carpentry the most, bowmaking especially. also keeps a pet lizard.
favorite color: he's a sucker for blue, but also likes a nice bright red. favorite food: unadon (bbq eel over rice) romantic interests: had brief crushes on martyn and aymeric that he never pursued. also developed an attraction to his then-best friend thancred in post ARR. did not pursue him either until post HW, but even then kept it relatively unofficial. it wasnt until late STB that they made things official between them. classes: -had some sojutsu (spear arts) training as a teenager as part of his education, so he uses polearms as his weapon of choice for all of ARR til SHB. begins his dragoon training in ARR as well. -picks up BLU during post ARR just for fun. -picks up DNC during post SHB initially on a whim but later as an outlet for expressing his emotions. -picks up BRD post EW for similar reasons, and also as a way to have a "fresh start" after everything that happened to him during MSQ. -picks up DRK directly after 6.4. initially just wanted to learn swordplay in general while trying to conjure a blade of light at will to defeat zeromus, but his dark magic is warped by the lightcrystal given to him by yshtola in 6.2, essentially becoming a custom class. never actually named by anyone in game (i think?) but my name for it is arch knight, or ARK, based on the ff tactics class.
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floatingcatacombs · 1 year
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once you recognize the secret reason for her exposure, you will feel ashamed of your words & deeds.
12 Days of Aniblogging 2022, Day 9
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This is your usual anime blogger’s girlfriend speaking. We watched a lot of the same anime together this year, so in the interests of not stepping on her toes, I’ve decided that instead of screaming about how Togame’s scheming lost the importance placed on it in the original LNs, Prospera grabbing Miorine’s face, or how much I fucking hate Minmay (so much) I’m going to be talking at you about the visual novels I read this year.
THE BIG LIST OF VISUAL NOVELS I READ THIS YEAR:
Umineko No Naku Koro Ni
Full Metal Daemon Muramasa
Coquette Dragoon: Love is a Parasite
AI: The Somnium Files
VA-11 Hall-A (Reread)
Heaven Will Be Mine (Reread)
Can you guess what all these stories have in common? That’s right. Today’s article is all about
VISUAL NOVELS I READ THIS YEAR WITH MAIN CHARACTERS WHO ARE PERVERTS WHERE THAT’S ACTUALLY A REALLY IMPORTANT PART OF THEIR CHARACTERIZATION IN MULTIPLE WAYS AND NOT JUST AN EXCUSE TO HAVE THEM PUT IN SITUATIONS WITH SCANTILY-CLAD GIRLS AND YOU ONLY FIND THAT OUT AFTER HOURS OF PLAY TIME BUT ITS WORTH IT NO TRUST ME WHERE ARE YOU GOING PLEASE COME BACK (or; But once you recognize the secret reason for her exposure, you will feel ashamed of your words & deeds.)
Presented mostly in increasing order of desperation to convince you that no, you have to believe me, it’s actually really relevant ok???
Heavy spoilers ahead, as well as content warnings for discussion of rape, incest, and a whole bunch of other objectionable stuff that I apparently found it worth wading through.
HEAVEN WILL BE MINE
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Protagonists: Bratty Saturn, Old Tired Horse Luna-Terra, MILF-Coded Pluto
Difficulty Of Recommendation Due To Sexual Deviation: Saturn gets off on having her mech crushed, stabbed, and shot in the neck; Pluto balances love and the desire to cause pain; Luna-Terra is a leatherwoman and has an absolutely wild relationship with her boss. That said, if you gave this to somebody who wasn’t queer and couldn’t read between the lines, it would just be a story about mech war in space (certain CGs aside).
No It’s Really Thematically Important Trust Me: Heaven Will Be Mine is a game about how mecha combat and gay sex are the same thing, and also how great both those things are as mediums for intimate connection.
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Test Pilot Saturn dares psychic prodigy Pluto, who’s always holding back, to unleash her full power and fight her as hard as she can. Sometimes a girl just wants to get hit!
Just because we never see penetration on screen doesn’t mean that certain things aren’t obvious to anybody who can read the subtext: Saturn keeps getting her mech, which is wired into her senses, hit/shot/crushed and always gets really happy whenever it happens; Pluto really wants to wreck her ex but won’t do it unless she asks for it; Luna-Terra, shackled to Earth by her chain of command, wears Memorial Foundation-mandated bondage gear. I could talk about that last one and her deal forever but instead you can just read and comment and leave kudos on and bookmark my manifesto about how incredibly sexually compelling it is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37263772/chapters/92975275
Heaven Will Be Mine is also an examination of stances on queer assimilationism and the contexts that shape them (if you paid enough attention to the game, that’s enough to tell you which faction has my heart). The victory condition is whatever happens when all three of the pilots stick together: sex/combat/communication are ways to move forward to whatever future they decide on.
But sexuality/connection/opening a rival’s cockpit up isn’t a good thing in and of itself. The Directors and Halimede, 2.5 of whom were sexually involved with one of the main three pilots, make the failure states clear: opening yourself up for people more powerful than you who only care about your body, or who care about their dream more than they care about you, or who you voluntarily ablate yourself for, or even just who want what they think is best for you if what they want is unhealthy enough, can get you remolded into something you don’t have input over.
VA-11 Hall-A
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Protagonist: Jill Stingray, bartender at a tender bar
Difficulty Of Recommendation Due To Sexual Deviation: woman noticing other women’s bodies, thinks about sex a lot, has a pink shirt with SLUT on it hanging in her apartment. Jill is bisexual but prefers women. Male gaze filtered through a woman’s eyes;
No It’s Really Thematically Important Trust Me: Otheredness. VA-11 Hall-A has roots in imageboard culture (just look at Danger/u/) – and back in the day, a huge part of that culture was being really into girls and shipping them together like BL fans shipping guys. Jill looks at the girls she bartends for as special in the same way as the game’s presumed player, as othered from them and longing for them, sexually and/or otherwise. It’s not a coincidence that both jaded jackass Ingram and Jill spend nights with Dorothy where she’s specifically providing non-sexual emotional companionship; they both need a kind of intimacy that neither would be able to accept from a guy.
Jill’s perspective can be titillating, sure, but the tangible love VA-11 Hall-A was written with makes it clear that its missteps come from naivety, not ill intent. One of the money-based thresholds she needs to meet is for a porn subscription; fail and Jill will spend the next day idly thinking about actors’ bodies instead of focusing on her job – but that’s a natural consequence, not a moral judgement. Sex doesn’t make her, or anyone else, impure, and fantasizing about your clients and co-workers is fine as long as you aren’t being a Donovan D Dawson and sexually harassing people.
Attraction between women in VA-11 Hall-A is weird, yeah, but not in a hateful way. It's not an accident that so many people with non-standard relationships to womanhood (trans, non-binary, various flavors of woman-identifying with various flavors of attraction to women) have been associated with the particular cultures around anime, with their specific pedestalizations of women. N1RV Ann-A can simmer for as long as it needs while Fer figures things out. Whatever self-understanding they arrive at will make their next game the better for it.
COQUETTE DRAGOON
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Protagonist: Xiomara Rosales, pilot of the titular Coquette Dragoon
Difficulty Of Recommendation Due To Sexual Deviation: Xio gets off on being treated like a child, and also on peeing herself.
No It’s Really Thematically Important Trust Me: Coquette Dragoon is a game about agency and feeling like filth and dehumanization by the vast grinding cogs of bureaucracy and war. It’s not hard to understand why being given a girlhood without agency would appeal to a trans character; incontinence is deeply tied to loss of control/agency. By signing up with the Lilac military, Xio trades her morals and independence for an escape from poverty and a mech. The really interesting thing here is her own interactions with the shame she feels, and not just for killing people for money: not knowing which non-vacuum-sealed food to order is humiliating, and having a room to herself for the first time in her life just leaves her ashamed of not decorating it. She’s not ashamed of her mech, though, just how much she likes it – the power to kill is a heady drug.
Compare Xio and her shame complexes to those of the other character into wetting herself: unabashed little pervert creature Lady Bell-Chime Katzbalger, bastard daughter of a weapons manufacturer on the other side of the war, who carries her stuffed animal everywhere, writes incest rpf about her best friend’s boss and her daughter, and publishes purin pudding tf doujinshi (dear reader, I know you know what those words mean) – but who never talks about her home life, the fact that a genetic disorder has left her incapable of eating solid food, or the nobility loudly whispering about her behind her back.
And here, after Coquette Dragoon, we get to the games with male protagonists. There’s nothing inherently objectifying about having a male point of view character but boy does “it’s ok when girls do it” make for more recommendable fiction.
UMINEKO NO NAKU KORO NI
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Protagonist: Battler Ushiromiya, The Guy Who On Seeing His Cousin For The First Time In Six Years Immediately Asks If He Can Grope Her, Who Remarks That His Aunt Has A Woman’s Charms, And Tells His Ten Year Old Cousin To Promise That He’ll Be Able To Feel Her Up Once She Hits Puberty
Difficulty Of Recommendation Due To Sexual Deviation: You read that last phrase, right? If that wasn’t enough for you, there’re sexually-charged torture sequences.
No It’s Really Thematically Important Trust Me: Once you finish this two Les Miserables long behemoth and then read the Confession Of The Golden Witch chapters in the manga you will feel ashamed of your words and deeds.
Okay so the story goes to pains to point out that Battler is being awful from the beginning; after he tries to pull his shit on Jessica she tells him that his dick hasn’t grown at all, elderly housekeeper Kumasawa harasses him and everybody laughs, and then, when he tries to grope Kinzo’s servant Shannon, he’s legitimately shocked and upset when she doesn’t stop him, implying she’s been a victim of sexual assault by Kinzo.
Wow! You might think. The author sure wants to portray this guy as a horny idiot. That’s not really enough of a reason to make him so sex-obsessed though. And it isn’t!
Shortly thereafter Umineko reveals what it’s actually about: Japanese family norms enabling horrific intergenerational trauma as victims take all their pain and hatred out on those weaker than them.
(and then the murders start.)
(and then the magic meta-world reveals itself.)
Battler then goes on to be tortured and humiliated by the “blonde and bouncy is best” witch Beatrice, her servants, a set of seven penetration-loving sisters in identical slutty little outfits, leashed with a chain, stripped naked and treated as furniture, etc etc.
Wow! You might think. The author sure does love femdom!
And then we get magic battles and mystery-solving and intergenerational cycles of abuse and “wow! What the fuck is wrong with Battler” falls by the wayside.
HEAVY HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD
Four and a half Mobys-Dick into the five-plus Moby Dick visual novel, the reader has been shown an awful lot of suffering Ushiromiya women: Eva, smartest of family head Kinzo’s children, whose father forbid her from attending college and whose excessively anime skill in martial arts stems from a deep-seated complex around the comparative weakness of her female body; Rosa, who endured years and years of horrific abuse from her father and siblings, and who now takes all that pain out on her ten-year-old daughter by hitting her just as she herself was hit, convinced that Maria is the reason men don’t want her; Natsuhi, who was forcibly married in to seal a business deal, whose inability to bear children (before Jessica’s conception) alone left her near-suicidal for years, and whose husband’s status as the heir has left her the target of vicious harassment by the other Ushiromiya women; Kyrie, for whom marriage into the Ushiromiyas was an escape from an even worse family, and who would kill with a smile on her face for love; 18 year old Jessica, who goes by Jessie at school and delivers a heartbreaking lecture about how having even one place where she can be herself means she can last through absolutely everything else at home; ten-year-old Maria, who turns to magic as a coping mechanism for her mother beating and screaming at her; and Ange, who was left at home because she was sickly and spends the next twelve years wishing for her older brother Battler to come home to her. Every single one has something to tell us about the culprit, and so, by the time we finally get the culprit’s backstory and motives, it doesn’t seem so outlandish or contrived.
It's a very Revolutionary Girl Utena style of character development via foiling: Tsuwabuki informs Miki informs Saionji informs Touga informs Akio.
Five or so Moby-Dicks in, critical clues to the culprit’s identity and backstory are finally revealed: Kinzo, the Ushiromiya family patriarch, raped the daughter he’d had with his secret mistress. When that daughter’s (male) child fell off a cliff, his servants rescued the child in secret, performed genital reconstructive surgery on the damaged portions of that child’s body and raised her in the image of her mother so that their master would have somebody to apologize to.
That child, raised among cruel servants years older than them on the Ushiromiya family island, dreaming of magic and reading mysteries, fell in love with Battler when he and his family attended yearly family meetings. (Maria: special interest as coping mechanism; Rosa: abused woman convinced a man will save her). He promised to take her away from the island and then forgot about it (they were both like twelve) – but she convinced herself that she’d get married and have his children and have the kind of family together that she so desperately wanted. (Ange: years of praying for Battler to come home; Kyrie: Love as escape and as something worth killing for, when you have nothing else.)
Upset at her body’s failure to develop into a woman’s, and feeling that that was why Battler hadn’t returned for her, that girl thought she’d be able to cut off her emotions and give up on him by starting to disguise herself as a boy. (Natsuhi: failure of her body to do the things she felt a woman’s body should do; Eva: a woman longing for the perceived strength and emotional deadness of masculinity; Jessica: compartmentalizing makes everything fine)
Pretending to be a boy doesn’t give her the emotional deadening she wants. She discovers that she’s bisexual when she falls in love with Battler’s cousin Jessica; Jessica herself develops a crush on the waifish and gloomy boy who she thinks has just been hired as a new servant. A third Ushiromiya cousin, George, falls in love with her as a girl, and she starts to return his affections, making it impossible for her to boymode fulltime without losing somebody else she cares about.
When the culprit solves the puzzle Kinzo has laid out for her (his original mistress loved mysteries) and learns her whole history, she has to contend with the fact that everything about her – her body, her love of mystery novels, her upbringing on the island – was deliberately controlled and seeded to make her into somebody Kinzo could believe was his daughter returned to him in his dying confusion. Worse,
[I was shuddering with disgust.]
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All three people she’s hopelessly in love with, who could save her and take her away from her miserable life on the island, are her cousins.
And yet she can’t bring herself to stop being in love with them. She has nothing else good in her life! Moving forward would mean hiding this from them – and hiding her body from them – and, to her, replicating Kinzo’s incest-rape.
And this is why, when she writes the first two parts of Umineko, she portrays Battler as an incestuous horny creep. How could he be anything else for wanting something as disgusting as her? Of course Jessica and George are shown as ridiculously blithe; neither has noticed that they’ve fallen for her worksonas – but it’s Battler she loved first, and Battler who the witch Beatrice loves torturing most, and who she wants to unmask and kill her.
And once you know this, other pieces start falling into place. “Shannon”, the culprit’s work name while dressed as a maid, is so cartoonishly well-endowed because she’d been stuffing her shirt the whole time, insecure about her body not developing in the ways she’d wanted it to. Shannon is also oblivious as a parody of the perfect stereotypical girl that the culprit hates herself for not being able to embody. “Kanon”, her work name while disguised as a boy, is so bitter and depressed because he’s a way for her to act out her feelings of self-hatred. The Seven Stakes are dressed like that because she was deliriously horny and repressed and Battler gets penetrated by stakes repeatedly because that’s what he wants, isn’t it? Someone who should have had a dick. And so on and so forth.
…That cis Natsuhi’s years of depression and near-suicide over not being able to have a child are compared to the culprit’s despair over her inability to get pregnant and have the family she’d always wanted is an incredible act of compassion.
SOUKOU AKKI MURAMASA
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Protagonist: Minato Kageaki, Guy Who Can’t Stop Apologizing Even (Especially) When He Kills You
Difficulty Of Recommendation Due To Sexual Deviation: This is a Nitroplus game, with the level of gross and awful that entails. Partway through the first act, a teen is forced to rape another teen at swordpoint. Every single sex scene that isn’t outright rape, Kageaki’s included, is about the defilement of purity. A monk rapes the daughter of his dead best friend on stage; a father watches his daughter get raped by a bunch of racing executives for funding; a woman is raped and beaten to death. This game is trying to make a point as hard as it possibly can, and because of that point it can be deeply unpleasant to read.
No It’s Really Thematically Important Trust Me: I’ll get there eventually, okay? Full Metal Daemon Muramasa has a very simple moral: Killing people is bad. No, it doesn’t matter how hopped up on honor, nationalism, or justice you are, how much you’re suffering, or how incredibly cool killing people is (Narahara Ittetsu believes the coolest thing in the world is when two people walk toward each other with their swords raised incredibly slowly while he explains in detail and with diagrams the histories of their respective schools of swordsmanship and the techniques they might both use, and he’s so fucking right. It is the coolest thing imaginable). Murder is a hideous and indefensible act; every life you take will fill you with life-ruining guilt and you should celebrate that, because if you ever stop feeling that guilt you will have become monstrous.
Muramasa is very very interested in the coolest possible things because the more of them it can dangle in front of you the easier it gets to justify murder – and at the end of the game, Kageaki is forced to admit that, despite all his apologizing and weeping, he really does just love killing people.
Minato Kageaki and his mech/giant spider/elf waifu Uemon-no-Jo Muramasa the Third are hunting down Minato’s sister Hikaru and her mech Ginseigo, who are committing seemingly random acts of terrorism throughout Japan. They are bound together by the Law of Balance, a principle forged to bring an end to war by an elf who had a revelation about subjectivity: peace can only come when people understand the true impact of death and value the lives of their enemies. The Law of Balance decrees that for every ‘evil’ person killed, they must also kill someone they deem ‘good’, ensuring in theory that they will never treat death lightly.
Each heroine, in Fate/stay night tradition, maps to a solution to the problem of violence.
Hero of Justice Ichijou Ayane’s response to “everyone thinks they are good and their enemies are evil and so war will continue forever” is “Do you fucking know what evil is? When that monk raped that girl on stage, that was evil. Trying to obscure the pain he caused is cowardice. I’m going to kill him.” And then she kills him.
A few days later, she reads about his death in the newspaper and vomits as the magnitude of what she’s done sinks in. She has sex with Kageaki to wash the taste of death out of her mouth.
It’s not good sex. Kageaki is horrifically rough, and his internal monologue goes on and on about how he hates himself for how much he loves sullying her purity and using her to get off – but Ichijou herself feels she needs to be punished for killing that rapist, even though she doesn’t regret it.
And then afterward, in a visual novel full of gross awful graphic sex-as-defilement-of-purity… she’s fine. She’s not treated as disgusting or corrupted or a porn character, even if she needs to feel like one for a scene. She asks to have sex and doesn’t regret it, and she stays her unbreakable self.
Eventually that monk’s servant catches up with her and confronts her with the harm she’s caused; even killing ‘absolute evil’ causes harm. The universe is trying its hardest to force her to admit that killing people is bad: he forces the fetus his sister miscarried after they were thrown out onto the street and starved because their patron died into her mouth… and she chokes it down and accepts responsibility for the suffering she’s caused without ever regretting killing that monster. That servant is just another person she needs to save and protect.
And in keeping with this… Kageaki never really manages to prove her wrong, even when she kills him at the end of her route. True evil is something you know when you see it, and rapists and child-killers deserve to die.
Noblewoman Otori Kanae’s response to “everyone thinks they are good and their enemies are evil and so war will continue forever” is “Of course. All those who kill are killed; that’s what justice is. That’s what the nobility’s endless blood feuds are for; to kill each other and protect the interests of the common people by killing the corrupt in the process. Also murder is fun.”
She just accepts the cycles of trauma and violence. It’s a scathing indictment of traditionalism in a story that loves traditional Japanese culture. But Kageaki begs her to kill him for his crimes, and that opens something in her twisted heart. Their sex scene is the only time anybody ever exerts any kind of control over Kageaki in bed, and he’s deeply uncomfortable until he manages to turn it into more standard Muramasa “oh I’m defiling her she was so pure and now she’s all fucked up I am so bad I am so evil”. One of the ‘good’ people Kageaki has had to kill was secretly one of her relatives, and she eventually kills him; one of the people she killed on her mission for the Western powers occupying Japan was his father, so she lets him eventually kill her. Neither regrets it, and so her solution is validated – it is the solution on the macro level in which the least number of lives are lost, although the story doesn’t shy away from declaring it morally repugnant.
General Ashikaga Chachamaru’s response to “everyone thinks they are good and their enemies are evil and so war will continue forever” is “Violence for violence is the way of beasts and beasts is all we are. I am in pain and I make the choice to hold my trauma supreme.” An alien god is constantly screaming in her mind and she commits atrocity after atrocity trying to kill it.
But when she makes the choice to say “my pain is bad enough that I will do anything to stop it”, she’s also declaring that other people’s lives and agency mean nothing to her. She mind-controls Kageaki into helping her with her plan, and, it’s suggested, into dragging her aside after a meeting with the shogunate and borderline-raping her. Sex, for her, is both a way to block out the constant screams and a way to pity herself more. Playing along and serving as her weapon is a dead end.
Minato Hikaru’s response to “everyone thinks they are good and their enemies are evil and so war will continue forever” is “the world is awful. Violence is the only way for me to break the world’s intolerable laws, and I will kill every single other human being on Earth without ever considering any of them evil to get what I want before I die.” This is the one unacceptable answer for Kageaki, both because her mech hits hard enough to rearrange coastlines and kills corresponding numbers of people and because what she wants is for him to have sex with her. When he does kill her after truly understanding her, he doesn’t need to satisfy the Law of Balance because years of tending to her through her chronic illness and caring for her as his sister, not a lover, mean he knows exactly how hideous and horrific it is to end her life. He’s killed somebody both ‘good’ and ‘evil’ with a single swing – which is incredibly cool, in yet another temptation to the viewer to decide that maybe violence might be good actually.
Mech Elf Muramasa gets treated like a tool by Kageaki, trying to erase her culpability in the deaths they’re both causing. Her response to ��everyone thinks they are good and their enemies are evil and so war will continue forever” is the Law of Balance: peace can only come when people understand the true impact of death and value the lives of their enemies. Therefore, for every ‘evil’ person killed, you must also kill someone you deem ‘good’, ensuring in theory that you will never treat death lightly.
But when she does get treated like a person? When Kageaki erases himself and lets her control him, instead of being the one in charge of her, so they can attain true unity of mind and defeat his sister? Love breaks her resolve, and she’s willing to bend the Law of Balance and stand by a monster. Her second H scene is the closest thing to “nice” sex in the entire visual novel; Kageaki teases her instead of dragging out her insecurities – but this sex is ultimately what corrupts her, because she leaves her morals behind to follow the man she loves straight off the edge of the slippery slope.
There’s one other interesting use of sex in Soukou Akki Muramasa, and it has to do with Kageaki himself, traditionalism, and committing wrongs to stop other wrongs. It’s never stated directly, and needs to be inferred, but in order to maintain the bloodline in charge of guarding the forbidden sealed mechs, Kageaki’s mother, Subaru Minato, drugged her ten-year-old son and raped him. This is what kicks off the chain of events that lead Hikaru to try destroying the entire world, and why Kageaki is so brutal in bed – his fundamental ideas about what sex is were irreparably damaged by the woman who should have been keeping him safe. You can draw a line from Revolutionary Girl Utena through Tsukihime, Fate, and Umineko, where the fundamental wrong at the heart of the world is rape, often incestuous – and Kageaki is the first male entrant in that line I can think of.
He’s a guy for a very specific reason: because that makes it a lot harder to say “oh he’s not culpable”.
AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES
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Protagonist: Date Kaname, Weird Pervert
Difficulty Of Recommendation Due To Sexual Deviation: Guy just cannot shut up about pussy (although, amusingly enough, he met his best friend, who was canonically in a sexual relationship with a man, in a gay bar. Why was he in there? Oh you know)
No It’s Really Thematically Important Trust Me: It’s not. He’s just like that.
Yeah this was fine in the moment (loved to see the culprit in Boss’s body) but the child abuse plot line and also almost everything else it’s trying are so much weaker than Umineko. Also I can’t fucking stand Tesa or her fucking patty cake song thing. Ugh.
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woltourney · 11 months
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ROUND 2 / SIBE B / POLL 8
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Vastha Mhakaracca (@incense-and-iron) v. Amor Valentine (@chocobotism)
Vastha Mhakaracca:
q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Vastha Mhakaracca [He/They]
q. What is your WoL's species? a. Miqote - Keeper of the Moon
q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Main classes: Dragoon, Dark Knight, Monk, Reaper, Dancer
q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. N/A
q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. I'm a happy guy! Like to entertain my friends and put a smile on other people's faces. I ended up becoming a hero after following (partly) in my mother's footsteps-- she was a lancer and gave me her old lance when I wanted to leave home to adventure. It kind of broke ages ago… but I still have it! So she shouldn't be too mad about it. Hopefully, heh. Uh, anyway, I enjoy dancing and have tons of experience in managing and entertaining people since my family runs a small inn on the side of some nameless road. As for liking being a hero… it's complicated; as much as I really wish it wasn't that way. It use to be so easy and fun. Simple, even. There was still danger of course, but… I dunno. Fighting five giant ladybugs doesn't really match up in danger levels as the types of things I've been up too as of late [[<-- post EW content]]. Not to mention all the worst parts of having so much on your shoulders, things I really don't want to get into for such a fun event. B-But, don't take it as if I don't want to be a hero!! I can do it, so I want to do it. And it's not a 'If I don't do it, no one will', either. I think there are people who definitely could and would. People who have pulled way more weight through all this than I have. Even so, with all the pain and trouble I've been though, it's worth it at the end of the day. Knowing that I've helped so many people, that I have the power to keep the worst at bay, that I can make a change in the world and have that change try and be something good and positive and kind: that's what makes me like such a dangerous and oftentimes thankless job. Free time? Well, there's: dancing, cooking [[Culinarian is at level 90]], tending to my new island hangout, I've been doing LOTS of sightseeing-- Oh! I LOVE taking pictures and doing photography. Mostly of landscapes, they're just easier for me to work with than people; not to say I don't snap pictures of my friends now and again. What else… Oh! I've been taking up other crafting jobs as well since I have the spare time. It gives me something to keep my hands busy and lets me go out and collect more plants and rocks. I always liked going out to collect random stuff, but some of my older sisters, who I ended up bullied into hiring on as retainers so they could keep tabs on me away from home, got tired of me dumping popotos and iron ingots onto them to figure out how to sell en mass every week. I saw nothing wrong with it, but it really just must be me. Hmm… A lot more stuff about me is kind of personal. While I'm a rather open guy and like to chat, there's even some stuff I don't like talking about too casually or with strangers, sorry! Maybe we can be friends? I'm always open to new friends! Let's talk more sometime, okay?
q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. Why should I win? Oh man, I just think it'd be neat! "Vastha Mhakaracca, winner of the…" uh, what was this called again? Oh, right! "winner of the WoLTourney 2023!" Could even put that on my little adventure card thingy just for fun.
q. Anything else you wanna add? a. Some other facts about Vastha he didn't get to cover himself: Transmasc [he/they] and gay (despite all the handsome bachelors in game, he hasn't fallen for more past a short lived crush or two.) He has 4 older sisters, making him the youngest in the family He use to be more meek and shy, which turned to 'all talk no bite', which turned out to now where he's more mellow and friendly but will not hesitate to throw hands if someone starts something He actually likes to do fetch quests because it lets him explore local areas to take more pictures Vastha comes off as a bit of a dunce and a ~stoopid widdle catboi~ to people because he likes to have fun and goof around like he use too (before all the horrors (tm) of being an adventurer). He notices, but doesn't comment on it. He'd rather people keep thinking it and underestimate him so he can prove them wrong through action. And with so much life experience now, he really doesn't care what others think of him anymore; he knows himself and that's all he can control in life. Despite being so giddy and friendly, the man does have some things he dislikes a normal degree, and other things (and people) he hates with the rage of a thousand suns-- which upon mention of will immediately switch his mood to more sour and serious. It's rare to stumble across such topics, thankfully.
Amor Valentine:
q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Amor Valentine (they/them)
q. What is your WoL's species? a. Au Ra (Xaela)
q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. ARR: Lancer/Dragoon; HW-present: DRK main, MCH for yeehaw
q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. N/A
q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Amor is just a guy carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders despite it all. They care deeply for their friends and family, have a special interest in chocobos, and are full of love for the world they protect. Though a force to be reckoned with in the heat of battle, in day-to-day life they can be quite timid. A traumatic childhood event left them an orphan with no memory of their past, but they were found and raised by a Duskwight woman in Dravania, near Tailfeather. Amor was considered a strange child by most Tailfeather residents (#UndiagnosedAutism), but they ignored it as best they could while focusing their attention on the chocobos their mother would catch and train. On their 20th nameday, they left home to explore the world and hopefully learn about their past, and oops! Hydaelyn's chosen! They then proceed to become the Champion of Eorzea and save the world a bunch of times, with varying levels of enthusiasm. Though always willing to do whatever is needed to protect the realm, they are prone to becoming weary of it all. At best, they'll grin and bear it. At worst, they can become resentful and bitter towards their position in life (see: DRK). Thankfully, spending time with loved ones helps mitigate this negativity. They are taking a well earned rest after the events of Endwalker, but are prepared to dive back into the fray should the world need them. They are fond of foraging when they have the opportunity, and their special interest in chocobos lends itself well to breeding and competing at the Gold Saucer. Sometimes, they give in to the irresistible urge to run around open landscapes before rolling around on the ground.
q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. Umm… a vote for me is a vote for the eorzean autism alliance :)
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cew644 · 9 months
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Thoughts about FF16 (Spoilers for everything)
I beat FFXVI last week and have just been thinking, and I need to organize my thoughts. Spoilers for everything: characters, lore, and ending. It's very long and scrambled, so bear with me!
So first things first, I absolutely adored the game. Easily one of the top 5 FF games of all time for me. Maybe even top 3 (my favourites are XIV and IX for context). No game is ever perfect, and I do have some nitpicks.
First, I'll start with the characters.
Clive is just hands down one of the best protagonists in gaming, and it is not even close. He's kind, caring but not a pushover. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Everything he feels, YOU feel. This is in large part due to Ben Starr's absolutely amazing performance. His character works really well for the story they are trying to tell as well. He wants to help people and make the world a better place. Any time deviating from the main quest makes sense for his character and helps really flesh out the world in turn. My one issue with him, and it's by no fault of his own, is that he IS the protagonist. Traditional FF parties do not apply to this game and it does affect all secondary characters.
Jill is amazing. I've seen many people call her boring compared to other heroines in the series, but I have to disagree with that. She's an adult, not a quirky teen or an anime girl with a gimmick to sell figurines. Her arc in Drake's Breath is fantastic, and up until they get to Ash, I don't really have much to say that's negative. But she is, however, the person that suffers most from the shift to a singular protagonist. Because Clive needs to get Shiva's powers, she's written off to the sidelines. Her constant presence and agency are cut out of nowhere in service of Clive, and it sucks. Her absence from the ending is also jarring, but I will discuss that more when I talk about the ending.
Cid is best Cid. He works perfectly to establish the themes and motivations for the cast. The sidequests outside of the main quest are also amazing for fleshing him out and reiterating how important Cid's legacy was to everyone involved. I like that he's basically an anarchist.
Joshua is incredibly charming. I would have liked to see more of him and Jote. He comes in pretty late into the story, but you do get the sense of how sheltered he was in small moments (like with Mid), and it's super cute and goes a long way to show his character. I would have really liked to get a couple more scenes with him. Like a conversation with Clive about Pheonix Gate or why he never reached out to the group. So that leaves things up to speculation. I personally think that he was worried about Clive being possessed or influenced by Ultima. I mostly just would like a bit more closure is all.
Dion is my second favourite Dragoon and character in the game (after Freya and Cid, respectively). In every scene with him, I was enthralled. Every scene with the empire and he was just so well directed. Despite not joining the group until the end of the game, he really feels like one of the most important characters. His resolve to die for his sins pushed me to finish all the side quests I could. Like the hideaway is an airship, and Mid's sidequest was all about making a ship! I really thought we could get a secret ending where we could save him! That being said, he's fantastic. I hesitate to call his death "burying the gays" cause of how ambiguous and open-ended it is (and how everyone could live or die depending on interpretation), and how his sidequest ends, but I digress.
Last is Ultima. Super creepy and inhuman, his demeanour, voice and design all work fantastically to make something so close to humanity but also so far. He is also one of the more Christian-coded Gods we've had in a while. His beef is basically, "I made this garden of Eden and these creatures gained consciousness." It is, in very literal words, the original sin. The way he gains followers is also the self-same "paradise" or heaven that features more heavily in Christian faiths compared to Judaism or Islam. I like the twist that all of it was so that he and his breather (which are a sort of singular mind according to the secret tomes) are just using humanity to get there alone. I DO prefer the earlier high fantasy and political intrigue from earlier in the game, but I think if they were going to do a classic FF god ending, this was a good way to do it.
Just a quick mention for the side characters too. I love them all! They're all fantastically written, and I highly recommend doing all their quests. I also like the "leaders" of the towns. Martha, L'ubor and the Dame are so essential to their communities, and you really feel that. I also liked how L'ubor was very trans-masc coded. It was a cool touch!
Lore-wise, FFXVI is really only close to XIV in terms of world-building. And in some ways is much better. Every part of the game is built around magic and how it functions in this world. It's not just a medieval world with magic added to it. How every nation reacts to, and treats magic is very grounded and unique. The Iron Kingdom was especially interesting cause of how they interpreted the bearers as sins rather than tools. That juxtaposed with the Empire, which reviles Bahamut. And Waloed which elevates the dominants, while treating the bearers the worst out of any of the nations. I'm starting NG+ soon just to read through and get all the lore, cause it's so expansive and well-written.
This all comes with some unfortunate and dark implications. Namely slavery and how it plays into the world. Today, slavery is incredibly tied to race, and it's almost impossible to ignore, but historically race wasn't really a concept. Slavery had more to do with prisoners of war and religion. I'm just saying this to point out that slavery here reminds me much more of Greek or Roman forms and not the horrors of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. This all leads me to Yoshi-P's comments about the lack of diversity in Valesthia. There are PoC in the Republic, which is important to note. But that being said, I don't have faith that CBU3 could have written a story about PoC and slavery without it coming off horribly, and I think the team knew that. Having PoC as bearers would have made it so that Clive was a white saviour. Having PoC as non-bearers would have been even worse as a sort of white person victimization fantasy. Having Valesthia as an isolationist nation works to tell this story without engaging in colonialism but still relating the message of slavery to free will. In short, it's still messy and could have been handled MUCH better, but I think they knew they were not equipped to tell that story and handled their themes in the best way they could. They could have still probably have found a way to have a more diverse cast too.
The environmental messaging was also excellent. I almost wish we got to see it more. I was really second-guessing myself as we went along, and things kept worsening, but I think that was intentional. The whole theme of freedom and change worked really well in a more grounded and relatable way. As in "change is hard, it will hurt people in the short term, but it needs to be done for the betterment of the future." It doesn't chicken out like FF7 does.
Which all brings me to my interpretation of the ending. But first, I need to bring up Jill again. So I think the writers had a very clear idea of how they wanted the game to end. They said their main theme was brotherhood, and that's obvious. But I don't think they could do that with Jill dying in the final boss, so they just dropped her completely. It REALLY bugs me a lot, and I think is the one area where you can argue that Jill's writing is sexist. Cause it is here! Prior to this point, I disagree though. But back to the ending, It's very ambiguous and up for interpretation, which I enjoy a lot. I'm glad they went this route cause if they did go a definitive ending where Joshua dies and Clive lives, I woulda been pissed. It's still a valid interpretation, don't get me wrong, but just hear me out.
The whole time, Jill goes on about Clive saving everyone else except for himself. It's a cool hook, but I never felt it. Clive choosing how he lived, to me anyway, was helping others. He lived to end the bearer system and destroy the crystals that were draining their world, becoming an outlaw to do that. He did that! Which is why I think he chose to die for Joshua to bring him back. An ending where Clive lives while Joshua dies just does not sit right with me. Maybe it's cause I'm an older sibling too, but even though Joshua didn't die, he never really lived either. He's clearly very sheltered, he doesn't have anyone outside the undying, and he was isolated his whole childhood. The whole reason Clive chose to become his shield is to help bear the burden together. Clive dying to "rebirth" the world where his brother and all other bearers can live freely I think is a beautiful way to end his story. Though I can understand why people may disagree.
Another interpretation I also could get behind is that they all live. Clive just loses his arm to the curse. But I think that's a bit cheap.
Anyways sorry for the extremely long review/thought piece. It's by no means perfect, but it's still an easy GotY for me, it's a solid 9/10. I just needed to lay out my thoughts, and I'm happy to discuss with anyone who wants someone to talk to!
ALSO if they do DLC, I would want it to be about Jill, Dion, Joshua, or Leviathan.
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emc2beans · 5 months
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🛡️: How does their class inform their characterization? How does their personality match or clash with the stereotype for that class?
Gwynned is very much influenced by the Warrior class. She's a tank in mind, body, and soul. Her steadfast dedication to protecting her friends coupled with a chaotic love for the thrill of battle makes her a textbook Warrior.
Isolde also follows a lot of Rogue archetypes. She's sneaky and quick with a blade, but also has a tendency towards deception and manipulation, especially to get herself out of tight scrapes.
non-WoL ocs under the cut!
Llewellyn does not fit the classic cranky Dragoon stereotype (*cough* Estinien *cough*), but his smaller, narrower build compared to most Roegadyn makes him very good at flinging himself through the air. As for his personality, he does have some of the dragon-y traits I personally associate with Dragoons like protectiveness of loved ones, a tend to show affection via gifts, and just a little bit of jealously in certain situations.
Syden isn't super influenced by the Gunbreaker job. He's more inclined to dodging and being light on his feet, but he does want to protect the people closest to him.
Riveaux picked up being a Machinist during his time with his mother's family in Ishgard, or more specifically when he was avoiding his mother. The manufactory was always the perfect place to hide, plus Stephanivien is like his second cousin or something. (Same house, different branches? Who knows.) It also pisses his mother off that he plays with dirty machines, and it's a skill that he can use to impress his friends, not to mention that he can also maintain his boyfriend's gunblade with ease. Overall, the way that the Machinist class is pretty different from other jobs with its modern guns and robot summoning really fits Riveaux's rebellious personality and that's why I chose it for him.
A'mina is not so much influenced by the archery aspect of being a Bard, but rather the musical aspect. All of her friends are musicians to different degrees. She does have the cheery nature one might associate with bards, but that's about it. She's not the best at social situations.
Dire is initially a healer because their mom is a chirurgeon and a White Mage, and they learned from her. However, while they enjoy healing, blinding people isn't really their thing. When they later meet Urianger after Shadowbringers after the pixies steal his gender, that's when Dire realizes that Astrologian is the path that allows for peak gender fuckery. Also, they get to throw card at their friends. Sometimes they're not even the magical cards, just note cards that say things like "ur gay" or "I diagnose you with bottom".
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