#so fuck them in particular

[psychoticwillgraham]

good, he sat on the bench which he should’ve done first. now I’m just sitting here out of spite just to piss ppl off. like no you fuckers, im gonna sit here and have my afternoon lotus and you’re just gonna have to fucking deal with it.

#most of these ppl are the asshole brand of tourist #so fuck them in particular

[kelocitta]

In honor of the @rw-ship-showdown I wanted to write about Artihunter as someone who jokingly slapped them together pre-downpour and still thinks they are actually very compelling. Just not in the super soft love wins kinda way (Although I get why people like that more) And the only way I know how to do that is talking too much so heres a far too long slug essay-

Obviously the slugcats don't offer a ton of characterization but theres not nothing to work with. Their stories, whether by their roles in it or the overarching themes do provide a backbone to work with. Even gameplay itself can provide a bit. (for some more than others) Hunter, to me, is ultimately a story about selflessness. The goal is to revive Moon, which is very much an act of kindness from both Hunter and NSH. But the weight of that action is much more significant for Hunter- Hunter is deeply sick. They're on the clock, and for all their skill in combat none of that will ultimately help them to survive longer than their body can hold out. Moon is a close friend of NSH but that means little Hunter- Hunter really gets next to nothing out of helping them, and ultimately pays quiet a bit spending their limited time alive fighting to deliver that neuron so that someone else can live.

To spend ones limited days on helping another, in a game that very much stresses the unwavering cruelty of the world and nature- is pretty notable. (And you could even say that Hunter being the Hardmode of Rain World adds another layer to this)

And then we have Artificer. A storyline that very much stands out to people as more… villainous (so to speak) than the other slugcats. Artificer's story covers a lot of things. Trauma, violence, revenge, etc. Revenge is a bit of a selfish desire- That need to see someone hurt as they have hurt you. A punishment that ultimately does not fix whatever harm was done- but feels good to see because you were hurt and now those responsible share that pain.

Artificer's actions are founded in that need for revenge, their pups killed for overstepping boundaries they didn't know existed. Is it not fair for them to be angry at that, to punish the scavengers for their violence with their own? Why should the scavengers ever be forgiven when they and their pups were not? And that's how you get that loop- Harm for harm over and over.

The original action has been lost in a spiral of violence for violence. And here stands Artificer- their very spirit scarred. Not just because they sought revenge, but because they never ceased trying to scratch that itch for violence as an answer. Artificer only has two paths for their story- killing the scavenger king (Someone who, really, has little to do with the original 'crime' of the scavengers, but represents an important individual to them- as did the slugpups to Artificer), locking themselves as karma one for good and spending the rest of their life chasing creatures that no longer even fight back in a warped sense of closure- or to dissolve themselves in the acids of the void sea because they're too far gone to find any real peace.

They can't meaningfully recover from that state, not alone, twisting in on themselves. Even if they halt their actions, they've been using violence as a feeble defense against their own pain- violence that no longer has any real direction or basis. Artificer gets no real closure from killing the scavenger king. All they can do is continue the cycle, or try to scrub it away. No real peace in a prison of their own making. So you have a creature, who even with a strict timer on their life- a body that will crumble to disease, spends its last bit of time on saving another. And another who was so caught up in the pain of loss that were eaten alive by their own anger, poisoned their own soul on such a deep level even self-proclaimed gods have no solution for them. What peace can they offer each other? For Hunter, its only a fleeting moment of happiness- of selfish love, before their own body fails them. A bit of indulgence in something for themself. For Artificer, its a single, comforting thread to ground them again, something tangible to protect and care about again. But thats a thread that will ultimately be snapped under the cruel indifference of the world. Hunters timer will tick down regardless of if it takes another with it. Its a tragedy- its doomed to end badly. Whatever good it offers to either of them to find each other will only provide the fleeting comfort of a band-aid that will be ripped away too early. But all that can be worth indulging in anyway, if only for the moment. It doesn't change the ending, but the ending was never going to be happy. Its can so yuri

#rain world #rw shipping #tagging that just cause this is explicitly about that even though I usually dont do shipping stuff #with that said i dont even think this particular interpretation of a possible dynamic needs to be romantic its just kinda #about companionship in general. companionship thats going to absolutely shred an already unstable slug emotionally but thats #the point. friendship and love in spite of the unavoidable ending #just noticed this is like 80% theme analysis and 20% 'these go together just trust me' #but also theyre both girls because i want them to and also because im channeling hornet from hollow knight #who made me so deeply ill that my rain world tags still havent outcompeted my Hk tags because i drew her so much. so so much. #hunter is hornet coded to me and artificer is like if angela and gebura from lc combined into a deeply fucked up ferret #also i did tag the poll because they kinda inspired this but also. i wasnt gonna put all this out here WITHOUT a readmore thats embarassing #but i guess this is propaganda for a ship already seen as popular but like... idk i think theres something to it even as someone #who did literally slap them together originally because they were both red slugcats i considered girls. predownpour so we didnt have anythi #anyway hi tag readers i have so much work to do im being bad by writing about gay slugs. i need to get myself together #its so late this might just be nonsense bwaaaaaaa

[isjasz]

[Day 63]

THEM HOLYSHIT💥💥💥💥💥💥

(I winged the designs incredibly hard dont mind them JSKDJAKJD)

#dddaily4sherin #mumbo jumbo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #the buttercups #+ spot the jellie :D #isdoodles #i love mumbo as zel hes so #also scar as sidon is AMAZING hes just a FUCKING PAIN TO DESIGN BC HOW DO U. HOW DO U THE GTWSCAR VIBES #head inahdsn #lombotwau sounds horrendous to me ngl LMAOOOA #lomjbotwau??????? #the legend of mumbo jumbolio #also have i mentioned i love the atmosphere of the zora domain i gotta draw it sometime #link zelda sidon trio is so dear to me bc of the one (1) particular artist on instagram i love them sm

[endivinity]

not me already having to beat people on twitter away with a stick because they keep! taking! my stuff! for their dumb little dnd campaigns!!!

it's not even that bc I know it all gets taken and reposted and shared around until there's fifty degrees of separation and nobody's going to see my wishes towards how my art gets used unless I paste 'DO NOT USE FOR DND' on it (and even then theyll do it anyway) but like. i don't see that. when someone just looks at my work and says 'wow! i am using this for me now' directly to my face it's extremely demoralizing and makes me just not want to post things if that's all they see it as :/

#it happens. i know. it's just so RUDE. and im not alone in this! a LOT of artists fucking hate it #i'm drawing these because I like them! and other people like them! and i want to share in liking them! #not for some random guy in america with not a single ounce of creativity in his brain to jump straight to 'how can this benefit me' #anyway please don't do that. i don't like it #inspiration/art practice/icons/etc sure. i am just salty about the particular entitlement dnd seems to inspire in particular people

[pr3ttywh1tejaws]

copia kissing and petting his ghouls is the most important thing ever to me.

#the band ghost #cardinal copia #papa emeritus iv #cuddly ghouls #they are just his little guys :( #i need more videos of them being affectionate #the petting in particular gets me #the video of copia kissing dew over and over is so fucking awesome

[the-crimson]

Aight thoughts on todays bbh lore cuz we got A LOT. Just stay with me through my nerding about trees it’ll be worth it XD

We pretty much got 100% confirmation that he is intentionally hurting Baghera and Forever and that he thinks of himself as expendable. What fascinates me the most is when Bad asked Foolish this

“Is there anything wrong with burning the forest to save the trees?”

At first glance you might think YES if u burn the forest then there won’t be any trees??!! However it is a custom on fire risk zones to create controlled fires that burn up brush and dead trees so that the risk of a natural and far more devastating fire is reduced. Additionally, if a fungus infects a forest, burning the infected trees may be the only way to prevent the spread to the rest of the forest.

On top of that, there is a specific type of tree species that requires fires in order to reproduce. These are often Pine trees that drop pinecones. Pinecones hold seeds inside them that only germinate when immense heat is applied to them: the heat of a forest fire. When they are within these temperatures, the seeds germinate and the pine cones pop, scattering the seeds on the forest floor. These trees adapted to form a symbiotic relationship with fire one of if not the most destructive natural forces on the earth.

Do you know one of the trees that has developed this adaption? Redwoods.

Do you know which tree bbh brought up when giving Jaiden a PINECONE gift for her birthday today? A Redwood.

I’m like actually going insane. This can’t be a coincidence right????? I’m not going crazy right???

The whole reason I noticed this scene is because I live near the redwood forests in California and I know all about the way these trees depend on fires for their survival. It’s something that’s always fascinated me. That’s when I assume Bad was going to ask foolish the above question before Jaiden and Teana cut their conversation short while they were talking on the Titian . He literally had these specific trees on his mind when he was going to ask about burning down the forest.

Let me tell you another thing about Redwood trees. They are ancient. They are massive. They are sturdy. Natural fires are a common phenomenon here and a majority of the redwoods survive with barely a scratch, maybe an inch or two of its outer bark scorched. Nothing it won’t grow past in a year or two when these trees easily live for 500+ years.

(Side note, if there is one place in America you should visit it’s the redwood forests of California. It is literally like entering a portal to another world. These trees are 10-15 ft in diameter easily and you can just feel how ancient the forests are. It’s one of my all time favorite places to go)

So, in the situation Bad is proposing, burning the forest to save the trees, he is actively thinking about Redwoods in this hypothetical. Not only trees that are extremely resistant to fire but trees that depend on fire to survive. That completely changes the way he is approaching this question.

In his hypothetical, the forest will burn. The animals will die. The brush and non redwoods will turn to ash. The land will be scarred and the trees themselves may look dead, branchless and black. But. But. A season will pass and new branches will peel through the charcoal. Seeds deep in the soil will surge forth as the soil is fed nutrients from the ash. Animals will return. Pinecones will shed their fertilized seeds to give birth to a new generation of trees. And by next year, the forest will look just as vibrant as it had before the fire. Trees may bear the scars of the flames but life continues and it continues and it continues always.

I might actually be going crazy bbh makes me crazy cc!bbh makes me crazy I’m losing my mind

#qsmp #crimson speaks #badboyhalo #look #biology and ecosystems was a major hyperfixation in high school #like science in general has been one of my special interests since I was a baby #and I just so happen to have an intimate knowledge of redwood in particular #cuz I used to spend my summers camping in these forests #also #don’t tell me they are called sequoias #we use redwood and sequoia interchangeably #and I grew up calling them redwoods #but seriously I’m actually losing it over BBH’s lore today #he planted that pinecone and redwood mention INTENTIONALLY #KNOWING HE WAS GONNA ASK FOOLISH ABOUT BURNING THE TREES #AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA #SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP #he’s so fucking insane #and amazing at planting and pay off #omfg

[sergle]

do you guys want to look at some floorboards with me. edit: okay yes you got me I was gonna Post Floorboard no matter what. but help me out here... I'm trying to choose between these. and I'm ready to start losing my mind abt it.

with it kept in mind that this is The Bedroom, the one w the green walls. and you gotta use a little imagination bc obviously the boards will be laid out brick-style and not side-by-side but still. I want to KNOW... what the people think.

also if you are so inclined... pls give me your hot take on Why you think one is better than the other. I'm collecting data over here edited: if it helps, this is the wall color, & you can get a general idea of the Look(tm) of the room

#sergle.txt #i want opinions so i can completely ignore them in a week when i make a decision #<--- half of a joke #like... with my walls. but also? in General. but also? for a Bedroom in particular. but ALSO? kms kms kms #fuck it i un-disabled reblogs on this bad boy. it's not like it's gonna do the beer post thing

[housewifebuck]

Evan Buckley in every episode:

1x04

#eeb #Evan buckley #911 #911edit #evanbuckleyedit #911verse #911 abc #this episode in particular was so FUCKING hard to color I literally gave up like I hardly colored most of these #I just brightened them n shit #my gifs #🪐

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)

#lay rambles #my ocs #oc: liam hawke #oc: lilian hawke #both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it #theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences #with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever #they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key #and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever #hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do #mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself #(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently) #so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc #also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house #(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol) #also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space #he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet #always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like #food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind #and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them #(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc) #lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies) #but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa #dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever #however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults #also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt #not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself #oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages) #also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse) #...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD

[archerdork]

spoilers for ofmd s2e8 - a discussion of the decision to do That to You Know Who

i guess my biggest issue is that you should have seen the end coming because it makes sense narratively, so in a way you did see it coming, but the show has spent two seasons subverting expectations and chucking logic out the window, so in the context of the universe they've created it fucking doesn't make sense.

I know it narratively makes sense to tie Izzy's arc off like this, but this show has gone to great fucking lenghts to show it doesn't give a toss about sense or how you're supposed to tell a story. The plot armour has been so thick for two seasons it's genuinely ridiculous, but that's the show and now this is the audience it's amassed. You think I've spent all this time watching these idiots strut around an ocean the size of a bathtub powered by nothing but spite and a gaydar because I value logic above all else? You think I like the show despite it's narrative insanities, not because of it?

Spending a season on Izzy's emotional and mental journey only to kill him off in the end does makes a certain literary sense. Him dying surrounded by the family he finally accepted and who accepted him in turn makes literary sense. His death allowing Ed to let go of the last of Blackbeard makes literary sense.

In the real world.

But we've spent two seasons in Pirate Muppet Land, with it's bathtub size ocean where everyone can find anyone, where wounds heal the moment they're patched up, where crocs and paparazzis paperazzis exists in 18th century. I'm not here for realism, I'm here for the insanity. I'm here for the workplace romcom where this community of queer idiots can laugh and cry and have their drama and, yes, a boatload (ha) of angst but it's fine because it is about them, the plot only there to further their personal journeys no matter how unrealistic that plot turns out to be. They created Something, something new and different and hopeful, and then made a single decision that went against everything they'd built so far because? Logic? I genuinely don't know.

Ultimately I'm happy with this season. I had so much goddamn fun. I enjoyed the ending, though for the personal journeys it concluded rather than story it actually told. This season was way too rushed, for which I assume we should largly blame HBO. The cast and crew did what they could with what they had.

Still though.

I said at some point during this season that I "genuinely can’t see a scenario where they kill off any of the crew, it’s just not that kind of show". Turns out it decided to be that kind of show, with the worst decision they could make. Killing off Izzy does make literary sense. Which, in context of the show so far, makes it goddamn unrealistic.

It's not a good plot twist to pull the rug from out under the audience if the rug is actually a carpet floor you've spent the whole season nailing down.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #spoilers #our flag means death #our flag means death spoilers #not taking any fucking chances i'd hate if this was spoiled for me #all this is not even mentioning the fact they killed a queer disabled man #who was just starting to embrace himself and his identity for the first time in his #a subject I feel other people have articulated far better than I ever could #so I'll leave this particular subject to them #in conclusion #im happy pissed off a little sad and grateful for what they're trying to do even if they dropped the ball a little #IN MY OPINION feel free to give fuck all about all this im just rambling #shut up jonna

[heartbeatbookclub]

I was looking at a few posts about autism (as one does) and it just suddenly clicked into place a fundamental thing about Yuri's character that I'd been grasping at, but hadn't really been able to adequately identify. I still have a much longer and more thorough analysis going through a whole lot of my thoughts on Yuri's character and her experience of autism that i'm working on (of which this will likely be a component), but I thought I'd share this separately just to emphasize.

Post I saw which made this click for me was making fun of the fact that most media depicting impaired empathy in autistic characters explicitly depicts them with this unflappable confidence of never having been rejected by people they love. The crux of this is that in actual reality, autistic people almost always have that experience at some point, for some behavior, for reasons they don't really understand. "There is an invisible line where people will get sick of you, and you have no warning of when you're about to cross it." So frequently, autistic people attempt to ride a razor thin edge, walking on constant eggshells to desperately attempt to avoid crossing that line.

Very often autistic people will attempt to avoid doing anything at all which could be considered weird, or off-putting, and will try their absolute hardest to do things in a way that is acceptable to other people, sometimes to the point of outright suppressing their emotions, because they are afraid that they'll say something just wrong enough that the people they care about will push them away, and they don't understand WHY it happened, but they know it's THEIR fault. Sometimes masking is fighting to appear aloof all the time because you can't regulate your emotions in a way that is acceptable to other people.

And holy fucking Jesus, that fits the exact mold of what I've been trying to talk about with the particular way Yuri's anxieties manifest.

It really feels to me like Yuri has this constant fear of breaking the "rules" of socializing, despite not really understanding what those rules even are. She's constantly afraid of saying something wrong, when she doesn't even know what wrong would be, she's just sure everyone ELSE will know it when they hear it. I think a huge part of her social anxiety comes from her own understanding of herself as a very weird person who doesn't really get a lot of how to socialize, and it seems to me like she's probably dealt with her fair share of social rejection and isolation based on those traits. She then felt she had to take responsibility for those traits, probably because it's the one thing she can change, and she is the one common denominator in all of these bad situations (This is something which is pretty common, actually! "Everyone else can socialize just fine, and I have so much difficulty with it! I must just be broken in some way. I have to try super hard to be normal to make friends!")

I think a big part of why it's so apparent in the Literature Club is because she really thinks she's found a place where she can make friends in spite of all of her issues, so when she starts...being herself, and receives even the smallest HINT of pushback, she overcorrects and tries to rein all of herself in to fix her "mistake", because she really wants to make friends here, and doesn't want them to reject her as well.

She's had this experience of others pushing her away for being weird so often that, coupled with her acknowledged trouble for reading situations, when anybody responds poorly to something and she recognizes it, she immediately overcorrects out of fear of being an annoying burden to everyone around her, and that "correction" consists of suppressing herself into being "normal" (or at least "less weird"), because she believes nobody could actually like her just for being who she is. There's something wrong with her fundamentally, and to make friends, for people to like her and want to be around her, she has to "fix" herself.

it's just, like...

it's really hard for me to interpret Yuri's character that doesn't involve her being somewhere on the spectrum, bros. she's written with such delicately constructed autistic coding, despite the appearance of just being a hackneyed weird girl visual novel trope. she deserves the world.......

#related which i'll hopefully talk about in my bigger analysis piece; #i think it's really neat how sayori & yuri's particular kinds of neurodivergent thinking clash in understanding! #like id say sayori is big adhd energy (might talk about that at some point) & deep in the anxiety hole #& yuri is very much autistic with a lot of obvious anxiety #& despite the fact that they clearly relate to each other a lot and have a lot of the same self-destructive thinking #the conflict in understanding is the huge misunderstanding that they get because of the way they both present themselves to each other! #& sayori has a lot of issues which yuri misinterprets as her not liking the book because of her own issues! #& yuri has a lot of issues which sayori misinterprets as sayori's stupidity discouraging yuri because of her own issues! #despite them both trying to tell each other that that isn't the issue at all in different ways. until yuri finally breaks down #& SAYORI BRIDGES THE GAP BETWEEN THEM BECAUSE SHE'S THE GOAT #GRAAAHHHHH I HAVE SO MUCH TO FUCKING SAYYYYYYYYY #ddlc yuri #ddlc #doki doki literature club #musings

[benetnvsch]

although im far away

i know ill stay, i know ill stay, right there with u

though it might be too late

what would u say? what would u say? what would u do?

_______________

u ever think about how maybe for a period of time Dazai knew that kunikida blew up but had no idea what happened afterwards/if he was even alive :>??

#sun is so kunikidazai coded bc I said so #RAHHHH #im all for Dazai missing Kunikida in prison - #like imagine Fy0dor knowing from his outside sources- imagine chuvya knowing bc he fucking saw kunikida blow himself up - #imagine both of them mentioning it to Dazai and Dazai just instantly assumes the worst- #bc everyone he loves dies... #Anyway #kite draws #kite watches bsd #bungou stray dogs #kunikidazai #knkdz #Dazai Osamu #kunikida doppo #im proud of this tbh #The way I rendered Kunikida's legs + shoes and hair in particular... #ALSO DON'T LOOK AT DAZAI'S FEET I CAN'T FUCKING DRAW THEM-

[benbamboozled]

I would actually kind of like the “becomes a doctor and takes over Leslie’s clinic” story…for Damian.

NOT because I think it would be ~ethical~ or idk whatever-the-fuck.

I just really love the concept of Damian having this “I HAVE A BIG IMPORTANT DESTINY” backstory/lineage/bloodline …

…SON OF THE BAT, and all that jazz…

But when he connects with Gotham and the people in it—because Batman should be connected to the people he’s protecting—Damian realizes that he doesn’t actually WANT “his” destiny.

And it’s not about rejecting Batman or his father or his mother or anything like that, but instead about taking what he’s learned and what they’ve given him and shaping it to fit himself.

#Damian Wayne #meta I guess? #obviously no judgment for the people who like Batman!Damian—he’s just not for me. #i mean my dream Damian series is a pretty much entirely ‘mundane’ combo of noir and slice-of-life… #…to contrast his epic background with the regular fucking people that he’s taken on protecting by becoming a Gotham vigilante. #i think also one of the elements would be commenting on the Bats’ (and Bruce in particular) Control Freak tendencies… #and the theme that you really can’t ‘control’ life. #for example: an element of drama could be that Damian checks in with people during patrol/during cases but… #he still has to go to school and do normal life stuff. (or normal for him.) #so during the *day*—maybe one of his ‘people he is friendly with’ has some mundane bad thing happen to them and dies. #like idk maybe an old lady friend has a heart attack and dies. #what do you do when there isn’t an enemy to fight? #just ‘move on’? isn’t the whole reason they do what they do predicated on his father NOT accepting that he should ‘just move on’? #anyway there would also be metacommentary about the nature of comics and that… #…you don’t really have control about what happens after your series or after your run. #or even what happens to a character YOU create.

[quietwingsinthesky]

see my brain just doesn’t register the idea of anyone having a ‘one true love’ which is why the common fandom tropes of making canonical love interests terrible in order to justify why your ship is better always bugs the shit out of me. it feels like the only reason you would do that is if the idea of the characters in your ship having any other sort of romantic relationship that was important to them, even in the past, is a threat to their current one, therefore all their past relationships need to be demonized in order to make them ‘not real love’ so that they remain pure and chaste and ready for the True Love of the endgame ship.

#im not crazy right like other people notice that trope ajd get annoyed by it right #its a very weird trope to be so common from my perspective because like. why not just. break up the couple you dont want. #for reasons that arent ‘i made this person into a charicature of themselves to justify why my blorbo would have never actually loved them’ #you know? its weird. its weird right? #and then of course there’s the offshoot of this that intersect with fandom misogyny where that demonized person is usually the female love #interest. or sometimes not even that. sometimes she was just standing there a little too close to one of the guys and that made people feel #insecure about their ship so they make her a bitch. gwen cooper. im. im talking about gwen cooper. people do this to gwen cooper and ill #never know peace about that. #anyway. is there a word for like. heteronormativity for monogomous people. because thats what i think this falls under. #because it is a very. like its a very conservatively monogomous idea. i feel like it is not unrelated to christian values of not having sex #before you’re married. that maybe someone in fandom might manage to ditch that particular ruleset to make their blorbos fuck nasty but NOT #the underlying idea of it that you can only ever have One Person you share that love and intimacy with. so you still end up perpetuating the #same toxic beliefs. you know? sorry im rambling it just annoys me

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two! #can remove if needed! #but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’ #and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol) #long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫 #i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though! #writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

[alliebirb]

Had to cut the title slide so: welcome to vol. 2 of brainrotted ygo fan assigns character styles, boys edition!

#if you disagree on any of these #i do not want to hear about it #ramblings #otogi and atem are my most fervent takes i will NOT being accepting any criticisms for them #my apologies for not including rishid 😔😔 #i just could not come up with anything particular for him #he’d probably just rock a black sweater and slacks every day idk #also want to apologize for jono’s #but i stg he makes it look p good #k*iba on the other hand #wants to look cool so bad #and he just isnt #so he overcompensates with whatever the fuck that style is #yugioh #atem #jonouchi katsuya #malik ishtar #marik ishtar #ryou bakura #thief king bakura #yugi muto #honda hiroto #otogi ryuji #seto kaiba #mahad