#so blessed so moved so grateful etc.

[niuxita21]

Congratulations to MSH2 because I’ve been an avid TV watcher for about 20 years and I don’t think I’ve EVER seen a show try HARDER to engineer a situation specifically so that something romantic could happen between two female characters. I mean:

Car trouble that leaves them stranded in the middle of nowhere? Check Said car trouble can’t be fixed until the following day, forcing them to spend the night in said middle of nowhere? Check There’s Only One Bed? Check Local festivities that incite them to get utterly hammered on some sort of conveniently more potent tequila or whatever? Check

Hats off, show. Regardless of how this ends, you will always be a real one for this. 

#madre solo hay dos #truly... no words #so blessed so moved so grateful can't believe this is my life etc etc

[sefinaa]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐚.❞

Who is your future spouse’s role model(s) and why?

Subliminal channel | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

This is a tarot card reading. I pulled out 2-4 cards for each pile and signs were added.

18+ readings @enchantressiren

Average word count: 810

Pictures I divider

Pile I

King of Wands, the lovers reversed, and the hanged man.

With the king of wands, your future spouse adores and looks up to their father and their grandparents, because they were able to help your future spouse rise above their insecurities, and allow them to express who they are. I hear that the mother was not in the picture. They were not there for them when they needed them, when they were hurting, and if they were there, it wasn’t a loving one. They were neglected harshly and were used like toys. Think of a toxic relationship you see portrayed in the media. Your future spouse feels very comfortable with their grandparents and their father, because they are able to express their childish dreams as well. I hear that other people used to laugh at them when they spoke about the career they wanted. For example, in society, you are expected to work a 9 to 5 job, have a family, have children, etc. But your future spouse has a different idea. It is completely different from making your own business, too. They really want to prioritize helping children find peace in this world because the generation keeps worsening. There are some children who feel extremely stressed out with the expectations of their parents, or there is a struggle about how to express their feelings to other people because people around their age, focus on drugs, or lack empathy. For these kids, your future spouse wants to teach them that it’s okay to be completely different from other people and not to follow along with the crowd at this age, and then it’s good to follow your path and focus on who you truly are. For my card, the king of wands has a male fairy on it with beautiful flowers behind him as he is sitting on a cut mushroom, and there is a beetle on the swirly ground. This is the perfect example of how your future spouse sees the world despite its flaws. I hear my intuition tell me that the beetle is those who follow the path of others, and they do not seek to find who they are, which indicates this swirl is continuous. As for the flowers behind, those who do not follow will blossom into their higher selves, even though they are behind and life to others in general. They know what they seek, what they desire, and eventually they will have what they want. Sitting on the mushroom is standing their ground, and that is the same energy. Which is your future spouse. And because of their grandparents and their father, they were able to incorporate that feeling within the heart to expand it instead of keeping it on guard. And they want to do the same for children because they believe that if they were able to get that blessing in life, they would want to move it forward and give it to others.

Your future spouse is a very grateful person, but they don’t express their kindness in a direct way. They mainly focus on how to show their love and compassion to the world in an anonymous way. So instead of allowing people to redirect that same kindness that they give out, they will make sacrifices and allow people to find them to be shallow, mean, etc. And those closest to your future spouse will actually know how selfless they are, and how loving they are. This is very similar to Medusa in Greek mythology. Because people were afraid of her snake hair and of what happened without hearing her story, they would treat her differently, and many people would fear her. And a lot of people actually fear your future spouse because of their resting face, the way they speak to people, and the way that they are perceived. In terms of kindness, it is pushed aside, because other people perceive them in a low light. And with the reversed lover cards, people sometimes find them to be unhinged, or someone to be completely off the right path. I hear the people around your future spouse are very judgmental, and that they only really prioritize how they feel because a lot of them are very wealthy, but instead of donating to charities and helping other people in their own way, they seek more riches and more riches, and they get lost in the mindset of luxury, and actually forget who they are. And this fits along with how I spoke about those who do not forward their own path, and they just follow along. So your future spouse has made their own path, but at the same time, they don’t really allow the negativity around them to catch up to them or let them sink into it.

Channeled song:

The hanging tree - James Newton Howard

Pile II

Nine of swords, five of pentacles, ten of pentacles reversed, and two of cups.

Your future spouse has a lot of trauma from their grandparents, especially their grandfather. During their childhood, their parents weren’t home due to demanding jobs, but they were taken under the care of their grandparents, and they were getting along with their grandma, but she was killed by a drunk driver. And this caused a hole in their hearts because they were close to her, but the grandfather struggled with her death and would beat them constantly. If they were in pain, then the grandfather wouldn’t feel it, and they would also constantly drink liquor as your future lover was being harmed mentally.

My intuition tells me, that your lover’s role models are their parents. Despite their parents not being there for them with their job, they were and still are understanding of it, and they were able to have their siblings to find happiness and joy with. I hear that they’re adopted, and the grandfather has hatred for them despite their son, who is their father, saying otherwise. Think of the butterfly effect.

Moving on, how are their family's role models? Because when they were struggling with insecurities, hurt, and pain, they were able to express their pain to their parents, and they were heard. Their parents were there for them and didn’t allow their grandfather to ever take care of them again. They even cut ties with him to protect their child. And your lover admires their courage and determination so much that when they want to have children with you, and you will, they will be there to help and support them, even if it means cutting ties with family.

With the two cups, it’s about unity, partnership, and connection. Your future spouse has a sense of peace and happiness and a special connection with their role models. They can still come to them when they’re struggling with their issues or when they want to be heard as they ramble on about anything that makes them happy. And instead of being told they are useless or worthless like their grandfather, they are told how creative and unique they are by their family and friends.. and now because of you. When you both meet, the two of cups will amplify a personal connection and a sense of unity. You will be the missing piece of their puzzle and their happiness to keep moving and find more connections that they were afraid to seek despite the moral support they had. My tarot card for the two of cups has two merpeople who are reaching for some type of trophy without any envy or anger. They both have vines around them for protection and secretion. There is a broken building behind them in the water, and there are some marine animals like a stingray, fishes, a crab and a starfish. My intuition tells me that this is both of you. You guys will be each other's lights as you both reach for your goals without having to sacrifice anything because you are connected and are the same. The marine animals are connected to your children; perhaps they will want to focus their lives on marine animals, like them, have a favorite stuffed animal about them, or be engrossed in them for fun. Perhaps you will read a bedtime story about them. And when you do see it again, this pile will come to you again. As for the broken building, my intuition tells me that it’s the both of you letting go of the hardships that you have dealt with, moving forward into the light, and seeking your desired life. Despite the building being broken, the merpeople don’t seem bothered, and that’s the same with both of you. You both are at peace with your past and have moved on from it. As the saying goes, “what happened in the past stays in the past.” And you both have lived by the saying for a long time. The vines indicate people from your past trying to grab you into their lives, bringing you to be like them. You already know they are on the right path and that being stuck in the path won’t help you achieve your dreams, so instead of stalling or allowing them to come back, you keep moving forward because you know that’s what you want and so does your future spouse.

Signs:

Marine biology, astrophysics, fishes, marine, starfish, fireflies, bunny, rascals, money and flesh, “see? It’s funny!”, “trick ya!”, moon, walking, and flowers

Pile III

Eight of pentacles and three of pentacles

Right off the bat, your future spouse literally looks up to you as their own role model or worships you in a non-obsessive way. You have the energy of a powerful communicator, helping people grow and create with a lack of resources. My intuition tells me you are able to be creative with other people, and you’re able to help them strive for a better life while not having the same resources you had in your childhood. You have gone through a lot of obstacles in your life, but instead of allowing them to become attached to your soul, you make the most of them, and I hear that you have a special connection to stars and the solar planet, especially Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, and Pluto. Of course, they don’t say that Pluto is a planet, but it is completely different for you. And some of you guys are into astrology, and others are into astronomy, either way, the planets and the stars are connected, and for you, it is your safe spot and your comfort. Your future spouse is aware of this, and they do things to support you and give you the resources to be creative that you never had before. Because you like to help people grow and help them achieve their dreams, you have this security that you can give other people, especially your future spouse. And you are able to communicate with other people, and they look up to you like a motivational speaker who is very honest, and because you have this love that you get from other people, it increases your vibration and gives you more prosperity in your life. And your future spouse sees that you are able to do things without thinking, but it is not a negative trait. It’s more like a blessing because you do some things spontaneously but you plan them out—my intuition tells me it is from your inner heart and your inner desire unconsciously to help guide these people, and you do it without thinking because this is what you truly want and your future spouse can see that. You have become the right person for them, but someone to strive forward and be similar to you, but not in a way that destroys their personality. With the eight of pentacles, my intuition tells me you strive for greater good, but despite all these good qualities, you have high standards for yourself. But for some reason, you’re able to use these high standards to achieve your ambitious goals without allowing them to affect your subconscious mind and make you overthink and lose focus on what you’re looking for. It’s a great balance with yourself, and it’s very admirable. You like to praise yourself and you like to do the same thing with other people, and this helps increase your vibration as well with other people because they are becoming influenced by you with your loving energy, which is why you are like a role model to other people, especially your future spouse.

On my tarot card for the three of pentacles, the drawing shows an elf who is an older man who is using a big paintbrush to paint on paper, and he is using little resources to make stars, while there is a candle next to him and buttons behind him with a rolled-up sew inserted into a pin needle. My intuition tells me you are the hard-working elf that is trying to make stars on the paper, even though there are some smudges, but he keeps going. This is your energy. He keeps driving forward for what he desires, even though there are struggles in his daily life. And the three buttons I see, my intuition tells me, “there are small pebbles in our lives that are hard to find, and these pebbles may look like misfits, but in reality, they are our desire.” So this quote means the thing that we desire, and the things that we want may have benefited us in finding our desired life, and the small things that look useless and that we do not want are the actual things that will lead us to our goal. So when you have a struggle in your life and you get something that makes you feel sad, remember that it is there to help you have the right mindset to manifest your desired reality.

I finished writing this at 5:55 PM. 555 is focused on good changes, our lives, and freedom. I am channeling that you’re going to have two favorable opportunities in your life to help you grow further into the person you desire, while at the same time giving you a better chance to meet your future spouse. I spoke about how there’s a lot of growth in your pile, and my intuition says the same thing with 555. It also focuses on our mental and physical growth and how we interact with other people, so keep in mind to go with the flow, focus on your happiness, and not worry about what other people think about you because you are worthy of all the good things in the world. 

#tarot reading #love reading #daily tarot #pick a pile #free tarot #tarot community #tarotcommunity #channeled message #pick a card reading #intuitive reading #intuitive readings #free readings #tarot pick a card #pick a deck #choose a pile #collective reading #tarot readers of tumblr #fs pac #future reading

[taurusreads]

why do you feel lost?

masterlist || paid services || ko-fi

what is the next step you should take?

how to pick a pile? close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and clear your mind. feel which pile you're drawn to, and find the reading below the cut!

PILE ONE

pile one, i feel like there’s something that’s been calling to you that you’ve been either ignoring or avoiding. i feel a sense of fear here, but you have so many people who are trying to reach out in the 5D and let you know that it is okay. if you’ve been thinking about talking to someone about a certain aspect of your life e.g. a friend, family member, etc., then i think you should take the time to do so! you have so many people in your corner, but none of them can truly be there for you if you can be there for yourself.

this could be some form of shadow work that should be done, or possibly just an underlying problem that you have yet to address that has been eating away at you. i think that if it does have something to do with shadow work, self/worth and self-love could play a big part in getting the things that you want. if you’ve been manifesting something for yourself for quite some time now, i hear the universe saying that it’s on its way! but it can’t completely get here until you face the rest of your trauma :(. remember, you can’t reap the reward without putting in the work! it’ll be hard and you may be down for a little while, but none of these feelings are ever permanent.

you could also be a leo, or have leo placements!

i don’t think that you’re actually lost per say, i think that you are just avoiding facing a part of your shadow that has been ready to be release a longgggg time ago. give it the space to exit from your life, don’t hold onto the things that aren’t right for you anymore. aren’t your exhausted of fighting so hard? give yourself a break, enjoy the little things and let the rest run its course.

i think right now it is an important time to take action towards your higher self. i think paying attention to your dreams could also provide more insight into what the next steps you could take are.

be grateful for the things that you already have as well! part of growing and learning is to accept what is, what will be, and what once was. even if you’re life is not what you envision it to be now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be grateful for the things that are currently blessing your life! take time a ground yourself, remember your roots and where exactly you came from, and all the things around you that got you to this point.

if there is something that you’ve been drawn to lately (especially financially), i think now is the time to let your soul take the lead and have your brain catch up later. your mind wants to be in control at all points in time, so when it can’t come up with a valid reason for you being drawn to a certain person, place, thing, idea, etc. it tries to write it off. don’t let it do that, this is your key to success, this is your key to movement. staying distracted by the shadow work that needs to be done is only delaying the inevitable. the things you asked for a coming, so why are you suddenly trying to push it away when space has to be made for it? let life run its course and release control bby, they’ve got you.

don’t play wit’ ‘em riot 💃🏽 baby the moment you let this shadow work run its course and you allow your soul to chase after its highest calling, you’re life will EVOLVE. you know what a tower moment is. you know what they’re for, and you know how much better you’ll be when you come out the other end. but don’t keep yourself trapped in a situation that wasn’t meant for you in the first place. this is your chance to rewrite the story that’s been written for you, and turn it into something that YOU would like to experience. you’re the only person experiencing the life you have right now, so why not enjoy it while it’s here hm?

things will be moving so so so so fast for once you let this old version of yourself go. so many great things will seemingly just fall into your lap, but remember that it wasn’t just coincidence, it was fate.

and if no one has told you lately; i see the struggles your facing, i feel the pain you’re in, and i’m so proud of you for making it this far. i know it’s not easy, but you’re trying, and that’s all anyone’s asking for 🤎

PILE TWO

pile two, i feel like some of you might be lying to yourselvesssss. about what is up to your own discretion but there’s something that isn’t being shown here. for some of you i also see that this uneasy feeling you have in you is divine timing at work. some of you may be an aries or have prominent aries placements. some of you might also be starseeds as well and if that is the case, welcome home 🫶🏽

i’m getting a real bubbly personality here, someone who’s not too serious about life, but way too serious about themselves. i think some of you are in an energy where you’re juggling multiple things at once, and with that feeling comes always wanting to be in motion. i think that right now, the universe is asking you to sit still and enjoy living life. partake in your favorite hobbies without feeling bad about it, take a rest and don’t feel like a slob afterwards okay? you’re still just as much capable and deserving of your blessings now as you were when you first manifested them.

if some of you are looking for some sort of truth or trying to find answers to your situation, your guides are telling me this: ✨ there’s nothing to find ✨

there, i said it. you’re on a rabid goose chase for no good reason because you’re looking for answers that don’t exist. you’ve done it babes! there’s no trick questions, there’s no hidden cameras or tricks up their sleeves. you did the work, and now they are giving you your reward. all you have to do now is sit back and wait for it to fall into your lap. stop looking over your shoulder there’s no more shadow work, they swear (for now).

some of you might have been manifesting a certain someone into your life, and a lot of the work you’ve been doing lately was in preparation of this person coming in. congrats to all my babies!! i’m very very proud of you because shadow work for forever relationships (especially romantic ones) can be a pain in the ass but you made it! we have double confirmation a soulmate connection coming in with the two of cups coming out! this energy is giving very loving and lighthearted energy. if this is the energy of you and your person when you meet you should be very excited!!

something that might help ease the nerves as you wait for your manifestations to come in is to focus completely on yourself and your spiritual journey. do the things that make you feel alive, whether that be singing, dancing, painting, drawing, crocheting, archery, whatever! being out in nature can also help ground you and allow you to release any pent up energy that might accumulate throughout the day. focus on getting that bag! it could be very useful in the future.

i feel like some of you are on the verge of losing hope, but your guides want you to keep having faith! i know that waiting around isn’t easy, but they have to finish up some last minute details so until then, just sit back and just find little things in life to enjoy until your person comes because trust me, they’re in their way!

a little info to tide you over: i feel like you are someone who struggles when it comes to making decisions. if you notice that you’re starting to become very decisive in the things you want/say, that could be an indicator that your person is very close 🤫

PILE THREE

i had one of the biggest epiphanies while readings your cards pile three, oh my god. first off, i want to start by noting that at the very starts of the reading i got an energy check and the first thing i saw was this greenish-blue color. almost like that ocean-y, sea vibe. i don’t 100% know how to explain it but the color was absolutely beautiful in my opinion. i feel like you guys are warriors. you’re people who aren’t afraid of change, you aren’t afraid of starting anew, and you aren’t afraid of facing your demons.

i think right now is a very emotionally painful time for you because you stepped head first into your shadow work, and you’ve just hit a big point in your development. i think whatever you had to re-experience played a big part in who you were, and you’re going through a major ego death. but even through that, i don’t sense that you’re scattering either. you’ve found the knowledge and wisdom needed to stay grounded, even through situations that would have broken others, and for that i applaud you.

you could be seeing repeating 1’s a lot, as well as repeating 4’s. these numbers could be signs that your soul family and spirit guides are with are and are cheering for you! they see the hard work you’ve put in and how much you’ve grown as well, and they’re always here to give you an encouraging pat on the back.

i feel like you’re a bit confused on what to do now that you’ve put in all the work, and so you’re stuck in this period of limbo. it’s okay, we’ve all been there. i think you’re guides want me to let you know that it’s okay to step back into the world now. you’ve shut yourself up for so long and worked through all of this pain and anxiety you’ve been experiencing, and now you deserve to show off the new version of you. you deserve to let this new person that’s emerged be known by others. you deserve to be proud of the person you are right now, because you put in the work to get there. let the world know that you were strong enough to make it through.

something that could help ease the confusion you feel is to focus on balancing out your work and personal life. i think that you may have a hard time compartmentalizing, and you brain had convinced you that you can commit to both at the same time. i think focusing on managing both and gaining the task of juggling multiple tasks as once can be very helpful for balancing out your energy and keeping you occupied while your internal wounds continue to heal.

focus on the different things that give you happiness. remember that you can always find happiness is different areas of your life, you just have to look for them. partake in small things that bring you momentary joy until the long lasting joy comes in <3

you don’t have to keep everything to yourself either. if you feel comfortable, talk to someone you trust about the situation that you’re going through. find someone who will be willing to listen and understand what you’re going through on a spiritual level. talking about your problems with someone who will really get it can take a big weight off of your shoulders, and you don’t have to feel so alone throughout the whole thing. i’m seeing that a significant other could be someone that will understand your issues better than you think.

it’s okay to still be in pain, even after you’ve worked through the worst of it. remember, time is the best healer of all wounds.

#pick a card #tarot #love tarot reading #pick a card tarot #pick a pile tarot #tarot community #tarot reader #tarot readings #astrology #divination

[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 1

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader

A/N: Hiii guys, I'm so nervous for this BUT very excited too!! I hope you like it <3

Warnings: swearing a bit?, typos maybe.

Word count: 3 K

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

Every season has its colours, has its smells, has its traditions. Like every season, this love has its particularities…

Around November of 2020, England

“Matty- Oh my god!!“ 

The constant banging on her wall and the high-pitched moaning at the other side woke Y/n up. Quickly, she took her pillow and placed it on top of her face, trying to muffle the horrible sounds reaching her ears. ‘God, is she having a good time? Or he’s killing her?’, the thought crossed the girl's mind. 

Most of the time they weren’t that loud, but during that morning they just seemed to not care.

It was useless, the sounds were getting louder and louder. Y/n couldn’t bear with it any more and knowing that even if they –luckily– stopped she wouldn’t come back to sleep. So, Y/n decided to go downstairs. Maybe one of the guys was making breakfast, which would help with the awful start of her day.

Her prayers weren’t heard. The kitchen was empty and no breakfast was made. She tried to cheer up a little, because Y/n needed to survive the day. To be honest, every day and morning it was getting harder and harder.

After a quiet but long sigh, Y/n started cooking for everyone. Nothing unusual since she tried to do it most of the mornings in exchange for their generosity letting her stay at the boys' studio –which was half Matty’s house as well. Spending the quarantine rent-free with them, listening how they recorded the new album and messing around was a true blessing if she tried to focus on the bright side of everything. 

Well, they kind of forced her because they were very against Y/n spending those months alone in her flat. The boys cared about the girl as a best friend and as a sister too. They were a bunch of drama queens most of the time, but deep down Y/n was enormously grateful with/for them.

Thinking about the first months, Y/n couldn’t deny those were amazing. The entire group spent a lot of quality time, doing the stupidest challenges, doing Instagram lives for the fans, watching a lot of movies, etc. Although everything took a turn when another person joined the party. When Nadia arrived.

It wasn’t like Y/n hated her, in fact, it was the opposite which created a big dilemma for her. Matty’s girlfriend was nice and the idea of having another girl was actually  comforting during the tough times. But Y/n wasn’t so fond of the situation for other reasons.

For a period –a very long one– if you asked her, she endured with it and put on her best –fake– happy face. Y/n’s acting talents were very handy at times. Although, her true feelings were still there, underneath the surface, where no one can notice them. Specially Matty.

 Time went by and the whole thing was making her more anxious, and although the idea of leaving crippled into her mind at every minute, she couldn’t really decide. Y/n didn’t want to leave but watching Matty 24/7 attached to the other girl’s side was taking the best of her mental health.

Y/n’s mind was running fast with thoughts while she cooked, which made her subconsciously ignore the tall man coming down after he heard movement downstairs. George watched his friend move around, knowing more than anyone in the house about her sorrows. George was probably the closest to her out of the four guys. He was the only one who knew all of her secrets and kept it secured as if it was his own.

The drummer stared at her, expecting for Y/n to notice him, but he acknowledged that the girl was in another dimension. She used to do that more than she liked to admit. George could bet ‘the morning moaning festival’ taking place half an hour prior was the main reason.

Y/n finished cooking a big amount of scrambled eggs and turned searching for a plate when she saw George standing in the partially lighted corridor. “Fuck G! You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed while resting a hand on her chest.

“Sorry!” the big man shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t mean to scare you, love.” he apologized, approaching his best friend. “Good morning.” he greeted her properly, and she huffed.

“Good morning to you.” Y/n answered sarcastically after G placed a kiss on top of her head. 

“So, you heard, huh?”

“I can’t stand it any more, G.” she let him know. “It’s just a lot.” she continued, lowering her voice scared another of the boys could hear her.

“I know, love.” the drummer said with an apologetic expression. “But the lockdown is nearly over, and y’know none of us would like you to go.” G said as he searched for mugs.

“Why not? It’s my life, my freedom!” Y/n protested, starting to get annoyed. “It’s getting worse every day…” Y/n desperately moved her hands in the air trying to prove her point.

“Believe me… I know!” George searched for her eyes, keeping eye contact when Y/n looked back at him, waiting for his next words. “I’m not in your…situation, but I’m getting a little annoyed too.” G agreed with her.

“Yes, but it’s his house. He can do whatever he wants…”

“I half agree.” G nodded. “This might be his house, but it’s the place we choose as a studio, so for the time being its our place too…yours too!” George continued rambling, filling the mugs with hot water. “So, they need to stop with the noises.”

A comfortable silence fell between them until Y/n broke it again thinking out loud.

“What the hell can I do?” 

“About what?” A third voice came from the hallway. Matty made his entrance wearing a tired expression matching his gray sweatpants and plain shirt. He approached Y/n, leaving her a kiss on her right cheek. “What can you do about what, love?” he rephrased his question. 

“I- It’s nothing — Morning” she said without looking at him, instead walking towards the table bringing a mug with her.

“There must be something. You sounded worried.” Matty insisted.

“It’s something between Y/n and I, mate.” George said in a joking way, trying to distract him. “Something between best pals, you wouldn’t understand it.” he stated, rounding Y/n with his left arm meanwhile he winked at Matty taking a sip of his morning tea.

“Fuck off!” Matty protested. They usually have a competition about the title which Y/n find equally lame and cute. She easily felt the tension leaving her shoulders, relaxing thanks to their stupid discussion, knowing that for now Matty dropped his interrogation.

“Tell him, darling!” G urged her.

“It’s too early for this fight. Shut up and sit. I’ll bring the cutlery.” Y/n said, detaching herself from George. 

“Y/n is just too nice to tell ya, mate. She loves me more.” the singer continued joking, obviously unaware of the real implication of his words.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Matty.” George answered, sitting at his usual spot at the table.

“Who was the beautiful soul that made breakfast?” Ross entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and inhaling dramatically.

“You know the answer.” John teased as he appeared from behind Ross. “You know you don’t have to, Y/n.” the musician approached her and helped with the forks and knives.

“Yes, for the hundred times…I know, John.” she looked at him. “But we all know that I would feel guilty since you all never let me pay for anything.”

“Because you don’t have to pay us, love.” Matty said from his place at the table with his sight fixed on his phone. He and the damn nicknames.

“But- “

“No but’s, Y/n. We’re happy to have you here!” Ross said as they all sat around the table.

They were serving breakfast when the conversation took another direction -something about the coronavirus and all of that. At the same time, the last resident of the house made her entrance.

Y/n sometimes envied her. Matty’s girlfriend always looked immaculate to a point that you could never think she just woke up. Y/n knew comparisons were wrong, but it was hard to avoid them. The girl felt awful: her hair was all tangled in a messy bun on the top of her head; only wearing an old t-shirt -from a not so famous band--and a pair of pyjamas short; and she was not wearing any makeup meanwhile she stuffed her breakfast on her face.

Nadia was all classy and perfect, the opposite of Y/n. Maybe that’s why he chose her and not his best friend. Y/n knew thinking like that was also wrong, yet again she couldn’t help it.

Y/n witnessed how Nadia greeted everyone and sat beside Matty, flashing him a cute smile he returned. They were in love, and it was obvious to everyone. Y/n was so happy for her best friend to find someone who loved him, although for many years she hoped that person would be her. For years, Y/n hoped Matty noticed her more than a mate.

When they first met, Y/n thought she felt a connection different from with anyone else in her life, although that changed quickly. Matty proved to her time and time again he didn’t want a relationship with her or nothing similar no matter how flirty he was during that first night. And Y/n forced herself her mind and heart to believe it.

Y/n was very unaware that, at the time she met the boys, Matty felt the same way she felt, but the old Matty didn’t want to lose the new friend he encountered. As another way to self sabotage himself, the young Matty did almost the impossible to show Y/n they were friends and just friends. A decision he took while being drunk became a life rule.

Since that moment, since that night, their relationship was kind of determinate. They were friends, the best friends. Not that night, but after a while, Y/n became part of the family and even Matty’s family –both sides– loved her as another member of their family. Y/n felt safe and loved, something she cherished so much since she hadn’t had that kind of love back home. Her family wasn’t like them, the opposite in fact.

For the longest time, Y/n tried to ditch her feeling for Matty. Every time a new girl showed up, tugged under his arm, Y/n decided it was the time to stop getting hurt and move on. Even though, her heart couldn’t do it. It hurt her. And with Nadia was the hardest since all of them could notice it was different, more mature…more serious. Nadia was more than a random girl for Matty and everyone was sure of that.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Matty interrupted Y/n’s inner monologue, staring at her, while his right arm was around Nadia.

“What?” Y/n answered, coming down to earth, with a question. 

“You were gone.” everyone was strangely in silence while they looked at each other.

“I was just thinking about the government lifting the restrictions. Meaning, now I can go home.” she half lied, while messing with the leftovers of her breakfast. Y/n did chat about it with G that morning anyway, and it was a reality Y/n needed to get away from the lovers for a time.

“I told her, none of us want that.” George interrupted their conversation.

“Of course not.” Jaime, who joined the breakfast table, said to her.

“I know, guys. But it’s been almost four months and I- This is not my- “

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Matty warned her, and she looked him directly in the eyes.

“It’s the truth, Matty.” she said, dropping her fork on the plate.

“It’s not, this is your house too, Y/n/n.” Ross, sweet Ross, reminded her. “At the same time, if you want to go back to your flat, I understand. We’ll miss your meals.” his comment made everyone chucked, except Matty who was studying every one of her movements. 

A weak smile was plastered on her face while she stared down towards her plate unable to make eye contact with Matty. “Don’t get me wrong. I love being here with you guys, but I need my space.”

“If this is about some couple…” Jaime looked at Matty and Nadia “Waking up the whole house.” he finished the sentenced winking like a cartoon.

“For fuck's sake.” Matty swore under his breath. “Is it about that?” he looked at Y/n.

“‘Course not!” she looked at him trying her hardest to hide her feelings.

“I wouldn’t blame you if that’s the reason. I’m sleeping on the other side of the house and I can listen to them. You’re right beside Matty’s room!” John emphatically said.

Before Matty could say a word, Y/n exclaimed, “It’s not about that, okay?” she simply lied. 

Y/n could sense George staring at her. “It’s what I said, I need my space, and it’s not like I’m going to disappear.” another white lie. Y/n was planning to do exactly that for a while until her wounds healed again. “You’ll still have to bear with me.” she finished her little speech.

“We can simply send the couple to your flat, and you can stay here in peace” Ross joked this time. All of them except for Matty laughed again.

“Stop with that, he will get angry.” Y/n defended Matty.

“I know it’s not my house either,” Nadia started saying. “If I can say something, I would like you to stay, Y/n.” she continued rather shyly. “It’s nice to have a girl around.” Of course, she was so nice. “I promised we’ll keep it down.” she looked quickly at Matty for reassurance and then again at her.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry you’ll have to survive with these boys, but I really need to go.” Y/n explained. “Another reason is the fact that I have to prepare to get back to work soon.”

“So, when did you start thinking about leaving? Since you apparently have a lot of reasons to leave.” Matty said with a strange expression on his face.

“Matty-”

“Are you that eager to leave?” ‘He was pissed?’, Y/n thought. 

“Matty- “she protested, not knowing what else to say.  

“No, it’s okay. I get it! You want to leave, it’s okay.” he stood up from his seat gathering the plates to wash them.

“Matty!” Y/n said again.

“It’s fine, Y/n!” he said more sternly, obviously not fine with the situation. 

The rest of the group –included Nadia–, took that as a cue to leave the friends so they could talk. They made stupid excuses, leaving Matty and Y/n alone in the kitchen.

Matty went to the sink, beginning to wash the dishes. After letting a big breath out, Y/n stood up approaching where he was standing.

“Why are you so angry?” she asked him, folding her arms, standing beside Matty looking at his profile. Matty was stroking the plates with more force than needed for the task in hand.

“I’m not. I said that I got it, and it’s fine.” he answered.

“You’re obviously not fine, Matthew.”

“Do you want to know how am I? Perfect.” he stated, turning the water off and drying his hand with a cloth while he turned to look at her. “I really don’t get it why you want to leave so suddenly.”

“It’s not that I want to- “another big lie. She wanted to, she needed to.

“Bullshit!”

Y/n tried to defend herself, “I’m not going to disappear…”

“Bullshit!”

“Can you stop that?” Y/n stood directly in front of Matty. 

“I know you’re going to disappear. I know you. We’re best friends and something is bothering you, I can tell. It hurts that you’re not telling me anything and I fucking bet you told George already.” She couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Is this more about that competition?” Y/n tried to distract him.

“Yes- No- Of course, not- This is about you and me.” Matty said, melting her heart a little. He was obviously troubled with the idea of Y/n leaving.

“Matty, there is nothing…mayor going on. Trust me. I need silence. You said it, you know me. I crave my space…alone.” she told him sweeter this time.

“Yes, I know. But you can find somewhere here-“

“You know that’s a lie.” ‘What a hypocrite I am’, Y/n thought. 

“I know.”

“You aren’t gonna miss me. You have the boy and Nadia- “she moved uncomfortably in her place.

“It’s not the same, you’re my best friend. I’ll miss you, darling.” Matty looked at her with his best doggy eyes.

“Don’t!” Y/n pointed a finger at him.

“What?” he played dumb.

“Don’t give me puppy eyes, it won’t work.” she smiled this time.

“Shit, are you so certain about it?” he looked down, defeated.

“Yes.” Y/n simply said.

“Okay, I understand. You can go.”

“Thanks for your permission that I didn’t ask for.” Y/n tried to joke.

“But- “ he ignored her.

“But?”

“But promise me that you are not going to disappear for too long.” he said, staring directly into her eyes.

“I promise.” Y/n said way too quickly. After a couple of seconds, she had to look elsewhere.

“Can we hug?” he said very slowly. 

Y/n chuckled, placing her arms around his shoulders, at the same time Matty placed his on her waist.

“I love you.” Matty mumbled on her left shoulder.

“I love you too, Matty.” Y/n said, feeling it from the deepest of her heart. There lied the difference. 

Maybe, she couldn’t love anyone like she loved Matty, even though she had to try for the good of their relationship. 

-------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hollybrislen

#matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy x y/n #matty the 1975 #matty x you #matty x y/n #matty fanfic #friends to lovers #matty healy #the 1975 #Seasons #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfiction

[yandereforme]

Yan! TMNT w/ healing/hurt! Reader

(Reminder that healing/hurt reader means reader has the power to heal people by taking on a portion of their injury, i.e. they heal a broken arm and get a bruised/sprained wrist. Also reader is a child in this one)

Raph is going to freak out the most out of all of them. What if other people find out? What if the kraang, or god forbid Shredder, found out about you? You won’t leave the sewer unless it’s an emergency or you somehow convince all of them to let you, and even then you are never going anywhere alone.

Leo won’t be as protective as Raph, but he is definitely as overbearing, and he will be even worse about it with your ability. There are only a few people who he will trust to meet you, namely Casey, April, and maybe leatherhead. No one else is allowed around you, and you can kiss your right to privacy goodbye.

Donnie will be very interested in your ability, and definitely will run some tests on your dna and your abilities. This will be a major part of his obsession. You are completely unique and have powers he doesn’t understand. He will solve this, using science! (And if a part of him constantly wars with him about the ethics of taking your powers away, as soon as he can? Then that’s his business)

You being able to heal just further proved Mikey’s theory that you are an angel. You are his sweet little sibling, the angel who his family was blessed with. He will freak out about the hurting part though, and never wants you to heal him. If someone is hurt, he will do anything to make sure you don’t heal them, even if it’s just a paper cut. He will sit on you to make sure you can’t move, though he prefers to carry you.

However, if you heal any of the boys, they’re obsession with you will only grow, especially with Donnie and Leo. Ralph’s whole thing is about providing and protecting you, so you healing him won’t be great for that (though a part of him is grateful for that love) and Mikey will just focus on the fact he was blessed again by you.

But Leo and Donnie? They both have issues with not being seen as strong/smart enough, but you taking care of them? Especially if you couple it with something about your big brothers needing to take care of themselves? They will be goners and more soft than they have ever been.

That incident will justify their extremes. Leo will feel a lot more comfortable with his possessiveness and you won’t ever be allowed to leave after that. Donnie will definitely feel more confident about your affection, and will in turn be more possessive, implanting more trackers in you and your things, placing more cameras around the sewers, etc.

Heaven help you if you got really hurt after healing them. The guilt would eat them alive.

#yandere #yandere prompt #yandere tmnt #yandere donatello #yandere raphael #yandere leonardo #yandere michelangelo #healing/hurt reader #child darling #healer darling

[cabinofimagines]

Clarisse’s ABCs

Hopefully, some day, every character of the Riordanverse will have been requested and blessed by the ABCs

Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x reader Request: Hi! Can I request Clarisse's fluff abcs?? Thank you! Warnings: None Word count: ~1.9k

- Asnyox

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Clarisse loves being active- she adores being active with you, practicing with you, just moving around. You better not be too lazy, because her love language is quality time and quality time equals being active. 

Beauty - What do they admire in their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your strength, whether it is inner strength or outer strength. For Clarisse, you need to earn her respect before she even looks at you. This can be earned by showing your strength in the arena, or showing her you are strong enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable around her. 

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Clarisse is surprisingly (or actually, not so surprisingly) good with emotional issues. She has learnt how to deal with her own issues a long time ago, and will easily teach you the tricks she has. She is great at bringing comfort to you, when you are down.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Most of her plans are rather short term, because she never had the chance to plan things on the long term. Tomorrow was hardly guaranteed to come, so what is the use of planning for next year? Right now, she is thinking of going to college and she would love to take you with her, so you can study and grow together. After that? That is up to the fates.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Clarisse is very dominant, it is in her blood. She will seek you out wherever you are and loves taking charge. She does appreciate it if you speak up to her though, tell her what you want, so she can change the things you do to be to your liking too/ 

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Fights with Clarisse are brutal. She really tries to take deep breaths and count to ten, but if you really pissed her off (probably by endangering yourself) she has a hard time controlling her anger. Give her a moment in the arena, where she can blow of steam, before breaching the topic again. She will want to reach mutual understanding, but she won’t use the word “forgiven”. 

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

You are kind off a second heart to her, she is aware of you but she does not always actively see what you do for her. She can’t imagine being without you and your help, but she simply doesn’t know how to be grateful towards you. Only when you disappear for a little while, does she notice how much you did for her and she is sure to repay you in some way. She really is an acts of service kinda gal. 

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Clarisse does not believe in secrets. It might take time for her to open up about her childhood, fears and worries, but she wants to. There is no good in a relationship where you cannot trust each other.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

To be able to be Clarisses significant other, you have to have gained her respect. However, this does not mean that she easily accepts your help. She does love helping you push your boundaries though, help you get over your fears and every time you do, she gets a little braver herself. 

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

She does not get jealous easy, however she is scared that you might leave her behind (like her dad, who doesn’t care about her). If she is having a bad time, she will isolate herself from you. She doesn’t need more harm than she will already get when you leave. However, you find her at your spot, a safe haven for the two of you, and as you hold her tight she shares her worries. 

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Her kisses are rather clumsy, because she often is very excited to kiss you. The first kiss was aggressive though, you were talking about an upcoming fight or quest (who remembers?) and said something among the lines of sacrificing yourself. Clarisse got angry, and at one point to shut you up she just kissed you. “If you want more of that, you better came back alive, you hear!” she yelled before she ran away, trying to still her beating heart. 

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

She takes you apart, finds a silent spot and confronts you. In  her mind this is a battle field, she needs to win this battle but for you she is also willing to lose. Her adrenaline made her half scream out her confession, but when you accept she almost breaks down. She won one of the hardest battles out there, and as she hugs you she cries a little. 

Memory - What’s their favourite memory together?

Clarisse has too many good memories about you to pick a favourite, although she always thinks back to the times where you assure her of your relationship. Whether it is you addressing her as your girlfriend, or the handholding during the campfire, she lives for these reassurances coming from you. 

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Affectionate insults, or you name. Not your last name, your first name (until you have her last name, after which she loves saying it because it is you and you are hers)

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It might be obvious to those who know Clarisse, but she does not understand that she is in love with you until someone else points it out. It shows in how her insults do not have their edge when she talks to you, or how she tends to seek you out in battle, not to fight you but to make sure you don’t get hurt. 

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I hope you have no shame left, because you will be the number one bragging subject for Clarisse. She will use your perfectness as a tool to insult others. If it gets too much and you tell her, she will reluctantly tone it down (when you are around, at least.)

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Her sheer strength can break mountains, but also means that she would gladly do all your heavy lifting. If you are too tired to walk, she will help you. If you need protection from monsters, she is behind you. 

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Romance is not her strong suit, but if you mention wanting to do something romantic she will awkwardly recreate something out of the movies for you. It might be a bit messy, but I can guarantee you that she swallowed her pride and asked for help of the Aphrodite cabin, which results in the scene still being very pretty. 

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Determination is one of her strong suits, she will in fact hold enough stubbornness for the two of you. If you seem freaked out about something you want to do, she will help you break it down into chunks that she herself understands and can help with. Seeing you smiling at your victory over your goals is one of the bests sights to her. 

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Don’t call it “spicing up your relationship” because she will argue against it, saying (affectionately) that “When you started dating me, you should have known this would happen, idiot.” Clarisse finds a sense of home in the hectic life. Maybe it is in her roots, her dad being to god of war and war being messy. 

Understanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

At first Clarisse might seem to be the type to not be empathetic, however it depends on how much she respects you. When she fell for you, a whole new person was there to help you through all your problems. She knows how to read you like a book, and often finds some alone time for the two of you if she thinks you need it. Somewhere where you both can be vulnerable. 

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

As a year round camper, Clarisse has a deep attachment to anything that is camp related, including you. However, she might take you for granted a little, because she never thinks about what extremes she might need to go through to be with you. This relationship for her just has to be there and she refuses to think of giving it up, for it is just that integral to her life. 

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Unbeknownst to most, Clarisse is very aware of how someone’s mental state can affect their everyday live. She has had to deal with anger issues and abandonment issues herself, and is still working through them. So, she often urges you to take a mental break, to entrust her with your worries. She might not be a therapist, but she wants to be there for you. 

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

She is aggressively affectionate. I’m talking affectionate bumps in your arm, holding you too tight for your comfort, kissing you mid-battle as to throw you off your game. 

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

People won’t notice as much that she is missing you, because she always seems threatening to the people around her. Clarisse will be more snappy. However, those who know her better do see the sadness she has on her face whenever she thinks people aren’t looking. 

Zeal - are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Clarisse is stubborn, she will not give up on your relationship together under any external circumstance. Even if it gets dangerous, she will try. However, she is not stupid and will back off if whatever is threatening you is certain death. 

#request #requests #clarisse la rue #clarisse x reader #xreader #x you #x reader #pjo fanfic #PJO #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo x reader #fluff abcs #valentines 2021 #coi #cabinofimagines #admin asja #asja writes #admin asnyox

[diodellet]

roommates? more like roomfoes (jamil viper x gn!reader)

Where: You and Jamil become roommates, find some things to hate about each other, and the little things you do to support each other. As roommates do, of course. Inspired by this post by @viperwhispered word count: 2.6k words content warnings: -reader is not yuu, reader is in scarabia -foul language -scotch tape worldbuilding galore (ik each chara has their own room in the dorm, but let's ignore that and assume that each room wud have like 2 occupants.) -could be interpreted as pre-slash, established, or strictly platonic (don't you love the ambiguity of being roommates? you're both close and strangers at the same time i love it) ++yeah they argue but i call it ✨✨healthy conflict and banter

Here’s the thing, when you started the new school year, you were grateful that you and Jamil Viper were assigned to be roommates.

The guy was serious, put-together, and most importantly lowkey, which was a blessing in the hellhole that called itself Night Raven College.

Aside from the initial intimidation during move-in day, you were sure that this partnership would be one that you didn’t have to worry about at all.

But oh how the tables turn… you didn’t think that you could make an itemized list of Jamil Viper’s annoying habits as a roommate but here we are now:

Grocery trips with him take Fucking Forever

You know that you don’t have to be best friends with your roommate.

But! A good impression was key to building a peaceful relationship with the person you’d be sharing a living space with for two semesters.

You know that moment when you and a complete stranger initially find a similar habit that you share?

That brief moment of excitement and seeing each other’s eyes light up and thinking “hey, this person isn’t that different from me. I think they're kinda okay!" 

Take that but add the slow, horrific realization that this perceived common ground was not a similarity at all.

That’s what it feels like when doing the weekly groceries with Jamil. The experience was equal parts admiration and impatience.

“Wait hold on, how did he find that item? Weren’t they out of stock?” and “Did he really have to compare ALL the prices?” etc.

It felt like you were doing more than the required amount of shopping for college students. (Do two college students really burn through this much food?)

You didn’t have to be here, you could be seated at your study desk, hunched over your textbooks (ugh). Maybe you were just looking for an excuse to get out intent on being a good roommate.

“Are we almost done yet?” “Not yet, I’ll need to make one more round.” “Dude, we’ve already circled the store three times.” “I just need to get a few more items.” “Hey, that’s a completely new list!” Your eyes skim the neat lines of Jamil’s handwriting. “And what do you mean by ‘banquet for next Friday’? That’s a whole week from now!” “I told you that I could handle this on my own.” He checks his phone, then scowls. “Tsk… make that several more things to get.” “Seriously?!”

Maybe you should’ve taken his title of vice dorm leader as a sign of what was to come.

In the classroom, there was NRC’s fast-paced curriculum, and back at the Scarabia dormitory there were neverending banquets and parties to help prepare for.

He spontaneously decides to do a full clean of the room

Vacuuming? Really? Right at 5 in the morning?

Sure, it was the weekend and maybe he told you that he was planning to do that beforehand, but you were probably so deep into your essay writing that it probably slipped your mind.

Still, to hear the loud whir of the vacuum just before you slipped into REM sleep was pure torture.

He’s got headphones on, but you know Jamil is aware that you’re seething. He’s probably got that scheming expression plastered on his face, a ghost of a smile that betrayed the brewing malice.

Maybe this was to get you back for the few times that you put off your end of the chores. Or the messes from your alchemy mishaps* (We will revisit this.)

Actually, you don’t need to look, you can feel his pleased mood radiating through the flimsy blanket you’ve thrown over yourself in an attempt to block out the noise. An unwelcome ray of sunlight that worsened your building migraine.

And incidents like this are only the tip of the iceberg.

Coming back from classes and seeing a new rearrangement of the shared area in your dorm, or being greeted with an emptier fridge, or even getting evicted from your usual study corner as he checked for cobwebs (he wasn’t even giving the spiders enough time to start their webs!), stuff like this happened on the regular.

The surprise wore off after a while, but the irritation lingered.

“Jamil, where did my lab project go?” “What are you talking about? I only removed the food that was about to go bad—ah.” “Don’t ‘ah’ me! That’s a quarter of my grade you threw away!” “Put a label on your projects next time then!” “I was running on two hours of sleep!”

The both of you mostly resolved the argument by investing in a permanent marker and a set of sticker labels. 

Jamil also helped you remake the project (along with a heaping dose of your own practical magic to speed the process, which would dock some points, but you’d take whatever passing grade you could manage.)

See, it’s not the frequency of his cleaning that annoys you. It’s the spontaneity of it that gets on your nerves.

(And maybe, the way that he constantly does it by himself pisses you off as well.)

If he just… asked for help every now and then, you’d definitely lend him a hand. 

Not to say that you would jump at the opportunity to do so, but you would… appreciate a break from back-to-back alchemical reports.

Kalim al-Asim

At first you thought Kalim was nice, maybe fun. The guy was the polar opposite of Jamil and that was a breath of fresh air.

Until the Inciting Incident:

Once, you got up in the middle of the night and almost tripped over Jamil, who was sleeping on the floor (read: you actually stepped on his stomach and then you tripped after he grabbed at your ankle.)

Why? Because apparently Kalim decided to sleep over. Yes, he was using Jamil’s bed, completely at home, snoozing the night away as you fell into a whisper-argument with Jamil.

The rest just happened in quick succession, now you had a third person rooming with you.

Why does he come over all the time? Why does he stay just before curfew?

Sometimes you really just needed 3 straight hours of ambient silence to process readings and not some conversation about your lack of weekend plans.

Most importantly, why does Jamil just let this happen? 

He has no problem nagging you, but when it comes to Kalim, Jamil only lets the guy off with an exasperated sigh?!

Jamil doesn’t talk about himself much. Or if he does, it’s because you demanded better conversation material other than Generic Small Talk™️

“Best friends,” “Childhood friends”? Yeah right, you didn’t buy Kalim’s story for a second.

Not when you would hear Jamil lie about his own wellbeing in order to prioritize assisting Kalim.

Not when he would come back to your shared room, completely exhausted and worn out from a full day of accompanying Kalim.

And sure, you were aware of the position he held as the dorm leader’s personal attendant. But the reality of it never really sunk in.

“How… long have your folks worked for Kalim’s family?” “...For generations.” He continues stirring the container of curry-flavored instant noodles. “No, shit, really? I’m sor—” “Don’t—” Jamil gathers himself with an exhale. “Please don’t say that.” The midnight meal continues in silence until the both of you empty your plastic cups. What was the right thing to say? You couldn’t find the right words. “Give me your dishes, I’ll handle these. You should get back to your studies.” All you could feel was frustration, at yourself, at Jamil, at Kalim, angry heat building and collecting at the base of your throat, bursting, exploding— “No.” You push your chair back, gather the used dishes while Jamil blinks at you in surprise. “You know what? I’d actually prefer to uphold my end of the chores as your roommate, thank you very much.” And then you turn on your heel to dispose of the plastic containers. “At least rinse the cups before you throw them out!” “Alright, alright! …germaphobe.” “I heard that.”

He could continue babying Kalim, he already made it clear that you couldn’t intervene.

But like hell you were going to let him do the same to you.

[...]

To say that Jamil was relieved would be an understatement. If he had to endure another school year as Kalim’s roommate, his hair was going to turn gray and he would eventually be sent into a heart attack somewhere down the line.

Before move-in day, he already had a system in mind for keeping the shared room in order. But for you to shut that down and suggest something as tedious as dividing the chores…

Insert “Press X to doubt” meme here.

If you could make an itemized list of his annoying quirks, Jamil could easily write a dissertation on your shortcomings as a roommate while including a detailed appendix of tables and anecdotes.

But that was more effort than it was worth, he’d have to settle for the worst offenders:

You work in “organized chaos”

To Jamil, that is a made-up term.

If you really knew where everything was, then why did it take you at least ten minutes to dig through your belongings for your lecture notes?

Sure, he can respect your diligence towards all of your classes.

He already has his hands full with attending to Kalim, he wasn’t going to clean up another person’s mess.

But those first few weeks of the semester, goddamn.

Origami birds from practical magic nestling in a corner of the cabinet, potionology ingredients and alchemy reagents stored along with the snacks, and your many, many failures at decoding ancient texts just sitting there, undisposed.

He won’t admit it aloud, but old habits die hard. If you confront him about it, he’s giving you the offhanded excuse that he just did it with the rest of his usual cleaning.

(It was an extra two hours of getting your workspace in order, but hey! Now you don't have to trip over your things.)

Isn’t it just easier to function when your things are easy to locate? (Now stop glaring at him and tell him that he’s right 🔫🔫)

*Even though you’d try your best at keeping your things from getting mixed up with his belongings, there were still some…accidents…

“Jamil, have you seen my pollinator mimic? “You brought another one back to the dorm?” “I-It wasn’t finished! I still wanted to make some adjustments and the two hours we were given wasn’t enough and—” “What does it look like?” “It’s supposed to be, um, a ladybug about this big?” Slightly larger than your hand, oh. Jamil knows where it went. He saw its antennas peeking out from underneath your bed, mistook it for a roach, and burnt it to a crisp. “Aah, never mind, I’ll just remake it.” You give a dismissive wave and open up your textbook. “Sorry for bothering you.”

A part of him felt guilty at keeping that hidden from you.

But that went quickly away when the damn thing landed atop Jamil’s head.

You think out loud

Sometimes, Jamil wonders if you forget that you aren’t the sole occupant of the dorm.

You do know that he can hear every little curse and complaint you utter towards your coursework and professors, right?

(How envious, having the freedom to say such things.)

No, what especially annoys him are the times when you’re intent on being heard.

If you’re having back pain, then don’t fall asleep at your desk.

If you’re tired, then set some alarms and rest in bed. (No, stfu about waking up earlier, do not sleep on the floor! It’s d i r t y.)

There’s no forcing productivity. If nothing’s processing, then let yourself rest.

(And every time he’d make an attempt at helping you, you would give him a flat, distrusting look. Why were you suddenly treating him like an Octavinelle student?!)

When Jamil said that he wanted a roommate who had their priorities in order, he didn’t ask for the additional nighttime podcast.

“No, that doesn’t sound right, I must’ve messed up somewhere…” “Oh, so this catalyst causes this reaction, and this catalyst-with-a-similar-fucking-name causes a different reaction! Ughhh, I can’t memorize all of this in a night.” “This professor wants a full literature review done before Friday, does he think we’re fucking scholars?!” “If I flunk this, I could just make up the grade with the final exam, right? … Yeah right, that’s a stupid plan.” “...Why do I get the feeling that this guy didn’t do his part… Ugh, he should present this all on his own then.”

(Sure you were saying all that, but the steady hold on your pen, careful control of your magic, and intense focus on your schoolwork said otherwise.)

The rare moments that you pass by each other on the main campus, he’d see you animatedly conversing with the same professor you were cursing out or nose-deep in the nth remake of whatever homework you were close to crumpling up.

And every single time, you’d manage a polite smile and wave.

He has no trouble returning the short greeting, but the sight of you sent a flare of irritation through him.

Oh, that earnest, hardworking spirit of yours, he hates it very much.

You monopolize the bathroom

Well, Jamil thought that you were. Camping out in there, keeping the place all for yourself.

Until you step out—face blotchy, red-rimmed eyes, phone clutched in a damp hand—Jamil reflexively backs away to let you pass. Keeps silent.

It isn’t until after you retreat to the bed area that he speaks up.

“Are you…” “Oh, y’know, it’s just the usual, my grades and being a disappointment and whatnot.” You play it off with a wet laugh. Jamil then sees the semi-crumpled test papers on your desk, turns one of the pages over, sees the red marks. “Wasn’t this the test you studied all night for?”  “I don’t want to continue talking about it.” “...Alright.” Jamil returns the paper to its undisturbed state.

Trust him, he would like to leave it alone.

But the frustration of not having one’s effort pay off, of pouring one’s self so deeply into one’s work and having nothing to show for it…

Jamil knows that all too well. And to know that you struggled with something similar, he can empathize.

(He’s not at all used to being a hapless bystander, passively watching this lousy attempt at feigning to be a good student.)

Despite what you say, he’s not completely heartless. But don’t give him that benevolence shit either.

The next time that you pull an all-nighter, maybe he’ll leave out a portion of his migraine medication before he goes to morning training.

The next time that he tutors Kalim, he’ll offhandedly invite you along and maybe assist you with the parts you’re struggling with.

If you were going to be something, then at least be some kind of burden. Jamil has handled plenty of those in his life.

Call him a creature of habit, but there’s an ease that comes with your routine as roommates.

“I think Kalim brought over too much again.” “The Asim family doesn’t skimp out on their gifts.” Jamil sighs. “But it’ll be fine. I can put away the leftovers.” “Dude, these aren’t just snacks anymore, this is a meal for like ten people. Let me help with some of it—” “Looking for an excuse to get out of studying, aren’t you?” “Shut up, man!”

Sure, you had your own problems, but at least a part of him knows that you don’t have to be coddled.

You were stubborn about returning the favor, he doesn’t hate that.

A/N: i wholeheartedly believe that jamil was born a virgo because he'd be too powerful if he were chill. like imagine if he were all three: talented, pretty, and relaxed. idk it's too much for my piddly insect brain to handle. NE ways, thank you once again @jessamine-rose for being a wonderful betareader! your input is Super Helpful in fighting my second-guessing. I'd also like to thank @/viperwhispered again for making the post that largely inspired this 🥰🥰i like seeing ur takes on jamil's chara tagging a bunch of my fellow jamil simps hi it's me again, back back back again: @mochimiyaas @kaechannn @anxiously-sidequesting @merotwst @twstgo

#dellet-writings #twst #twst x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #gn!reader

[archduke42]

OK, I've had time to really reflect with this trailer

I still have some mixed feelings. Part of me hoped they would not bring Barriss back because maybe it was time to move on. After 11 years, I felt like I was just being suckered by red herrings. It's a little exhausting when opportunities happen and everyone speculates but it becomes a false alarm. Plus I used to be rather arrogant over the thought of Barriss being an Inquisitor. Used to irritate me a lot that fans even wanted that to happen. "How can anyone want this?" I used to ask myself. But I'm old fashioned, from a time when good guys were good, bad guys were bad, and Hero(ine) blows up the super weapon. All this character ambiguity people embraced for their Star Wars was a bit alien to me. It was enough that she was supposed to die in Order 66, but this was almost too much. The backlash against "The Wrong Jedi" was a tidal wave at the time, and lots of fans (myself included) cried hard at Filoni and Lucas' casual retcon.

But then, I'd been writing hero journey stories for Barriss since 2005 or 2006 and the whole villain plot twist was infuriating. And there was so much hate for Barriss on the internet at the time. I cursed Filoni's name with an old man's fiery blackened heart. My Muse had become the most hated character in Star Wars, and I had become a hot mess for several years after so much heavy emotional investment. I wanted to channel all my energy into Barriss stories (and eventually Barrissoka stories, since they were such a perfect couple) I also commissioned some shipping/wedding/marriage art to maybe push back against people's notions of a revenge fight between Ahsoka and Barriss. I have been blessed with discovering a huge Barriss Offee/Barrissoka fan community out here, and I think we have all built so positive energy in our love for these characters. Being a writer and reading the works of so many others has helped me grow with the community and learn so much. I am grateful to the art of people like @grissaecrim, and stories by people like @jedimasterbailey and @stellanslashgeode (and so many others) I can be excited that Barriss is officially coming back! The wait is over, and my anxiety returns. but I also have had a long period of time in 11 years to accept these new dynamics for Barriss. I am ready to accept whatever Destiny is in store for Barriss, though I suspect Filoni will be giving her a journey of sorts and not just leading these episodes towards a villain death for her. I suspect this journey may even go to live streaming with Ahsoka involved but time will tell. I still loath the concept of challenging expectations, but I realize that Star Wars characters have to grow out of two dimensional designs. Heroes don't need to be sparkling perfect and Villains can have a moral compass of sorts. I just wish Lucasfilm would stick to a consistent history with all this. I'm certain Filoni will have more retcons to drop on us. It's his style. But in fairness, the trailer was exciting, the animation looked really good. And I enjoyed seeing other minor characters involved, like 4th Sister, Grand Inquisitor, etc. I look forward to the exciting battles with Elsbeth and Grievous, etc. Most importantly with this trailer comes the enthusiasm to see Barriss return. Much of the hate is gone, and the Star Wars community in places like Youtube, Tumblr, etc is blowing up with excitement for this. The majority fans are ready for her adventure to continue with open minds. I think that gives me more joy than anything, that fans actually want to see her again, and want her to win at this in the best way possible even though she is starting from a dark place. I'm ready to see how this goes. This could be one of the best Star Wars experiences of 2024.

#barriss offee #star wars the clone wars #luminara unduli #star wars #mirialan #ahsoka tano #ahsoka and barriss #barrissoka #The old man sheds his curmudgeon soul

[counter-culture-christian]

Firstly, I am a woman, in my late twenties and in a relationship to clarify that. Secondly, listen this blog is not for everybody, not everybody will agree with what I have to say or what I believe in and that's okay; I'm not going to force that on you but don't mistake me answering you from a frame of reference that is biblical, scriptural as me "proselytizing" because I've observed those who want to start debates and can't handle when I use the Scripture against them and reject it as an answer. Well I am believer and follower of Jesus Christ/His teachings, His ways (a Christian) and I'm standing on the Word of God. The Word of God, has and still is considered "controversial", "bigoted", "hateful" etc. because those in disbelief get cut by the Sword of The Spirit, which is God's Word and because it lives, it is useful for many things. The Word of God is considered a weapon in the spiritual armor of God and as a Christian, I recognize my fight isn't against flesh and blood, so I fight in the Spirit when I use the Word of God and the demons in those people get manifested when the truth gets shared. I am a Christian, a Bible reading, believer and strive to be a doer as well. I am going to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ as the Holy Spirit leads, not only that but I will speak on certain things that people won't like me speaking on. I will shed light on that darkness, as I am a light of Christ Jesus. I will not stop sharing the Truth and telling people to repent. I will edify, encourage and let people (who are willing to receive it) know that there is a Way to Heaven as well as I will let them know there's a Way to be freed from the bondages of sin, to be healed, cleansed and forgiven and it's ONLY through Christ Jesus. I will speak to those willing to receive and listen, telling them that there's Life (eternally) and even now on earth because life with Jesus is better than it was without (and that's just from personal experience). Life with Christ Jesus, as a Christian has it's trials because He said if the world hates you, remember it hated me first but He also said be of good cheer, I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD. Nevertheless life with Christ Jesus also has its joys, peace, laughter, blessings, love, and much more that outweighs the trials. I am grateful to be with Christ Jesus, there is VICTORY WITH HIM, IN THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT. My ask is open for those who want to ask or tell me something, you're welcome to message me but I reserve the right to respond/when to respond. Lastly, so, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, continue in this marathon, continue standing firm in your faith (in Christ Jesus) and the Word of God. Embody the love and light of His, and share the Gospel (without forcing or in anger/hatred) for those who receive it is because God has drawn them to Christ Jesus and for those who don't, that's their choice and it's on them, shake the dust off your sandals and move on. I love y'all with the love of the Lord and mistake not that love for hatred when I rebuke you or such, for many spirits (who are deep in their darkness) will cry hatred, etc. Be blessed y'all ✝️🤍.

#christianity #jesus christ #christian #christblr #god #jesus #christian faith #spiritual enlightment #faith in jesus #god's word #christian blog

[izabesworld]

Something in the Peaky Blinders community that has caught mine and a few others’ eyes, in the frequent and so relaxed use of the word “Gypsy” when not in book context.

As someone part of the Rroma community, having once lived in Romania, moving from country to country until we settled in England in 2008, I think it’s important to make it known to people who may not be aware before it becomes a widespread issue.

The word Gypsy has been used since the beginning of our communities in the North of India, where majority of us originated. The word has been used to enslave the Rroma community until the late 1800’s, it was used during the Holocaust to justify the slaughter and eradication the Rroma community endured and wipe out our community.

Between 200,000-500,000 (the records unknown due to the disregard of Rroma life) Roma and Sinti people were murdered by Nazi’s in the 2nd World War. Roma and Sinti people were sent to ghettos, Auchwitz, Dachau and Brikenau, which has a specific “Gypsy Camp”, made specifically for the Roma and Sinti communities.

Romani is not Romany, Romany is not Sinti. Rroma is an Indo-Aryan ethnic group that has a closed language. We wish that for the purpose of fanfiction, you do not attempt to learn that language as it is closed. The language has saved the lives of millions of Rroma through the years - being a symbol of our strength and integrity. If something were to happen to our community again, we would rely on our language to keep us safe once again.

Having Romani, Romany, Sinti or any other Rroma connection does NOT make you ethnically Rroma. Having Great-great grandparent connections to Rroma does not make you Rroma, for you will not be persecuted for living in a Vardo, nor will you be persecuted for the label on your birth certificate.

We want you to celebrate our culture, when you are invited. We want you to celebrate our dished and clothing, when you are invited. If you have a Rroma friend, you will more than likely understand a few basic words of our language.

In fan-fiction, it is expected to see the word Gypsy be used sparsely, giving context to the time period and the lack of regard for our community, despite the hardships. However, we ask you do not use it in reference to us or our people, fiction or not. We ask that when you talk about the Shelby’s as people, you refer to them as Romani, not as Gypsy.

We ask that you do not call yourself Gypsy in your usernames, for that is disregard to our culture and our people. We ask that you do not refer to yourself as a Gypsy in context of you like a person of Rroma descent.

We ask so little, but these changes can change the future of so many Rroma people. It can change the future of my grand-children’s lives, my children’s lives. If we understand now why Rroma are important, why we aren’t thieves, job stealers and lazy, we’ll make a change to the future and what may happen next.

Rroma has had so little rest, and we are still in a constant battle with the engrained systems that disallow us to do certain activities and events due to our heritage.

As authors on this app, we ask YOU to be the first to make that change.

Of course, any reblogs etc are appreciated, or if you choose to illiterate this piece into something else to spread to your friends on this app, we will also be entirely grateful. If the message is spread, maybe the next generation of will not have to be told the message at all.

All my blessings to anyone who has read this. Nais nais tuke <3

#peaky blinders #romany #romani #rroma #roma #sinti #izabesworld peakyblinders #izabesworld

[siriustreasure]

We need a part 2 for corpse husband if you were his daughter 😌🫣

being corpse husband’s daughter would include (part 2):

a/n: {find part 1 here} ty for asking, hope you like these follow up ones :’)! it just occurred to me that some people have followed me for stuff for specific people so if you’d like to be tagged in all fics/headcanons for corpse (or anybody else) just let me know! <3 once again, these assume y/n’s mother isn’t involved because single papa corpse owns my heart :’)

warnings: swearing, references to insomia, chronic illnesses, food, very tiny tangent about squid game (no spoilers/violence, just used like one sentence gi-hun’s ex-wife said as an example for something), possibly (probably) rambling

corpse would 1000000% get a tattoo that relates to you in some way. wait imagine if he got a small tattoo of your favourite stuffed animal/toy as a kid which still holds a special place in your gear as an adult. like do you still drag it everywhere you go? probably not, but are they the only stuffie that still has bed privileges? yes. do you still hug them after a bad day? yes. and corpse has to immortalise that because 1) it’s precious and 2) he’d miss his bub. and if you wanted to he’s totally be down to get matching tattoos.

if you haven’t been blessed with this mental image, allow me: corpse husband aka ultimate e-boy aka mr choke me like you hate me, in a beautiful pink tutu, maybe some fairy wings and a tiara, sat a table way too small for him, surrounded by a dozen stuffies.

he’d probably give you a very basic, general rundown/explanation of chronic illnesses - like y’know when disney tries to teach kids something serious and they use metaphors/fairly simple terms? (i’m imagining reader is like a toddler) he’d do something like that so if he had a flare up or something, you wouldn’t get scared or panicked and if he said he couldn’t play with you one day, you’d be far less likely to throw a tantrum.

midnight feasts, midnight movie marathons, midnight everything if you wake up from a nightmare/just aren’t tired? yes. just yes. he has difficulty sleeping most of the time so it wouldn’t be like your fault - like y’know typically if you woke someone up (they might not say it but) they’d probably be like “i just want to sleep, please :’(”. especially if we’re taking about an energetic lil demon bean, which we are. anyways, what i’m trying to say is, ‘cos corpse struggles with sleeping anyway, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal :).

the fridge would be covered and i mean COVERED with your drawings/paintings/etc. there would probably be a couple that were a joint effort - maybe there’d be a finger painting with both of your prints. or one with your tiny handprint next next to his??? stopppp. this actually isn’t fair.

he’d probably have a lil picture of you or maybe a lil gift from you (like maybe you found a stone you thought was pretty at the park or something and gave it to him 🥺) incorporated in his gaming setup.

imagine the hand pics with the stone. omg proud, grateful papa. you know they’d have the cheesiest captions ever too, because he’d be a dad and there’s a brand to follow. duh. imagine corpse’s dad jokes-

you’d probably have a ‘just in case’ bag prepared in case he had to be hospitalised. you’d have packed it together so anything and everything you thought was important, even a bunch of sticker sheets, was put in. i’d riot if there wasn’t a plushie that’d been sprayed w/ his cologne to help w/ missing him. and it’d be a fuckin’ amogus plushie. bye.

he’d probably move into a bigger place w/ a garden and you best believe he’d go all out and spend way too much money turning the garden into a mini park to compensate for the lack of park trips. private park is better anyway, no need to share :).

y’know when kids find out their parents actually have names that aren’t just “mummy” - ssh i’m british/“daddy”/etc? imagine thinking his name was actually corpse husband for a while, like at least a couple of months for funsies. ok so i know i said you’d be homeschooled and i still stand by that but just imagine this ok; idk about y’all but when i was little, like 7ish maybe, our teachers made us write the envelope for our school reports so just imagine you addressing it to corpse husband and the teacher is like “huh?????” (i feel like it’d be funnier if they had no clue who corpse was). they’d definitely talk about that in the staff room at lunch. and you get really defensive about it so they don’t change it and you take it home and corpse is like a mix of 🤨 and 🥹 “thank you, sweetheart”. wheezes for like an hour straight. low-key starts stressing out about that revealing his identity - wait noOoOoOOO. totally shows rae, karl, tina and sykkuno. posts a picture of it on twitter w/ the address covered obviously.

swearing would be allowed once he considered you ‘old enough’ so like mid-late teens.

some qualities (positive + negative because corpse is human even though he’d still be the perfect papa) i think you could exhibit due to his parenting w/ brief reasons: independence + self sufficiency - any symptom flare ups (as discussed earlier), massive empathy - corpse seems to have a massive empathy as is + unsurprisingly children of individuals w/ chronic illnesses tend to be more empathetic, self awareness - sort of the same thing, i imagine corpse is pretty self aware. i don’t think you’d be the best conversationalist but you also wouldn’t be the worst - socialising mostly with corpse and the amigops due to homeschooling/etc.

if there were to ever be a successful real-life example of the ‘spoilt sweet’ trope, it’d be you.

another image for your head: corpse crouching by your bed, chin on the mattress, (y’know that pose?? i don’t really know how to describe it welp) as he gently shakes you awake. ft. a mandatory boop on the nose, of course.

y’know some parents are like “ew, no, they’ll make a habit out of it” cough cough ga-yeong’s mother in squid game - side note, i’m sorry but that pissed me off so much. she was sleeping, he was going to carry her one time. a habit isn’t going to form because of one time >:(. aNyWaYs corpse couldn’t care less about that, you could totally make a habit out of (mostly) anything. if you feel safer sleeping in his bed, fine. if you want a hug, fine. if you want to be carried, fine.

you’d always be (mostly) in charge of the day’s itinerary like obviously if there was an appointment or corpse had some errands, those wouldn’t be cancelled but for the most part it’d be up to you. even with homeschooling stuff, he’d let you pick what order to do things in etc.

i saw this tiktok about how these parents dealt w/ their kids tantrums and they’d basically made the kid his own little space with some activities (i think, at least partially, based on morals? i don’t remember exactly) and a lot of sensory based items like colourful lights etc and the idea was that when the kid was upset, they could go there to like reflect and calm down instead of just sitting angrily on the stairs, staring at a blank wall. i feel like corpse’s parenting would give off those vibes (like just very wholesome and mindful of the kid) but i don’t think it’d come naturally, he’d literally like see a tiktok and be like “yes”.

i think there was another one that was about letting kids decide to give people hugs too like y’know grandparents/family friends/whatever usually just hug the kid or the kid will be pressured into hugging them even if they don’t want to and it seems like such a small thing but like once you’ve thought about it, it’s like why can’t a kid decide not to hug someone, y’know?

the amigops et al (and others) replace your grandparents.

#corpse x child reader #corpse x you #corpse husband x you #corpse x y/n #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x daughter! reader #corpse husband x child! reader #corpse husband x daughter reader #corpse husband x child reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband #corpse imagine #x daughter reader #x daughter! reader #x child reader #x child! reader #platonic fic

[sweetswesf]

After receiving the offer, I jumped into high gear to prepare for my new role. They were requiring me to be in the office in Silicon Valley. My prayers to move out of San Francisco had been answered. My whole reason for moving from New York to get to Silicon Valley that I initially dreamed at 21 had come true at 30. Although SF and my last company and becoming a software engineer was a goal that I accomplished in 2019, being a software engineer in Silicon Valley at this type of company was the initial goal. I found a church QUICKLY that seems to be everything I want: diverse, full of happy, friendly, and genuine people, but especially Black people. So many people of all races have welcomed me and asked for my number and check in on me and save me seats and invite me to lunches and hikes and game nights. I’m getting paid more than double what I was making at my last company. I have a quiet apartment with counter space in my bathroom and kitchen. I have a short commute and can walk 10 minutes to the shuttle stop that takes me to campus in a WiFi bus. This place has so much documentation. Services are stable and work. Setting up my laptop, schedule, goals, etc have been great. My team has been so welcoming. They constantly remind me to take my time and that I can hop in when I’m ready. There are 2 other Black women on my team. They invest a lot into their employees and brand. I have a great relationship with my parents and grandparents. My mom calls em everyday. My Mom continued to send me $1000 a month every month until I got my pay check. I didn’t get my paycheck until the end of my 2nd week, but she still sent money my first week of work. I had to move from the first place I moved in because the insulation was so poor that I heard EVERY footstep and thank God I followed what I believe to be His voice to look at my lease to see that they had a 30 day guarantee where I could break my lease no questions asked. I’m in a better place. I have a Costco membership. I get to buy clothes that fit that I enjoy wearing. I still need to be a good steward of the blessings God has given me. I learned how to trim my hair, so I’m truly independent with my hair care. I was freaking out about not knowing Java before I started my new role, but my manager planned before I got there to give me time to ramp up on the language but give me tasks in a language I already know so I could start delivering on the team. He is giving me space while allowing me to feel productive. I’ve received great feedback so far. I know what I’m being asked to do in my role. Things are clear. I feel more responsible. I be tired, but the office is a great temperature! Most of my team is scattered across the country and only me and another colleague come in the office, but we don’t even sit right next to each other so there’s no pressure to show up a certain way. She’s such a sweetheart. Upon meeting me, she asked if she could hug me. It felt like God was hugging me through her. Like, “You made it child.” I’m trying my best to remember where I came from, maintain in relationship with God, keep praying as I did when I really needed God to come through, expect only the best and not let my past or past bad habits haunt me. I went through what I went through for a reason. I’m more patient, responsible, happy, grateful, calm, trusting. When I learned my destination was closed when I got dropped off, my Uber driver said, “You took that pretty well. Most people would be mad.” I’ve come a long way to hear this. This was such a compliment. I’ve learned to chill. I practiced this before getting what I prayed for because I knew God would grant me it.

I know I will face challenges, but I know that I don’t need to worry. Before all these blessings, I thanked God for making it happen, because I knew He would. All while I got to stay true to myself and just focus on doing my best. I have prayers for my life, my career, a marriage, my finances, my health, my family, the world, and I know God is capable. I know things are going to turn out better than I expect.

I had been wanting to share God’s love with y’all for a while, I just needed time to settle in to all the newness. God did exceedingly, abundantly, above all I could ask or think. And He can do the same for you. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit. God bless you, reader. Whatever you’re going through, I know God can get you through.

#software engineering #san francisco #python #silicon valley #coding #women in tech #tech #black in tech #black women in tech #codeblr

[theunstuffedpepper]

What a beautiful freaking week of weather. We’ve been spending it mostly outside and while I’m exhausted, I’m loving it.

Ups & downs, ups & downs. When I post rarely, I usually mostly include the ups, I guess, because they feel more notable and important and worth highlighting. But man, Mother’s Day is just kinda bumming me out this year.

I still am blessed to have my mom and my mother-in-law here; it’s not that. I think I’ve distilled it down to this, in my mind:

Every year for Mother’s Day, but also for all family birthdays, Father’s Day, holidays, Christmas, important occasions, you name it.. I take it upon myself to make sure that everyone else in my life is made to feel special. For Mother’s Day, you better believe I’ve got my mom and MIL covered with thoughtful gifts, cards, flower deliveries, etc.

The person in my life who I feel like on Mother’s Day should be doing that for me, isn’t. And hasn’t. And it’s not malicious and it’s not really even purposeful. It’s just a personality thing. But a few days before every holiday, Mother’s Day, birthday, whatever, I usually (always) hear “umm, what do you want/what do you wanna do? cuz I haven’t gotten or planned anything.”

Compounding it for me this year, I think, is that what I’m currently doing — being pregnant with what is actually my fourth pregnancy, after having lost an infant last year — feels impossibly, insurmountably, awfully difficult and frankly fucking unfair, and it’s largely just business as usual day to day. Like it’s nbd.

I guess it’d just be nice to feel like my person was willing to go out of their way to plan something to make me feel special, and it sucks that it doesn’t happen while I’m busy doing it for the other moms in our lives. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can’t really say anything without feeling like I’m just being petty and selfish, because he refuses to celebrate Father’s Day.

GRANTED - he’s spent the past two weeks working very diligently on renovating part of our unfinished basement into a new room where I’ll move my office and where we will make a nice guest room. Once that space is finished, we can move the guest room out of our third bedroom and make it into the nursery for baby 3. It’s largely ��for me”, because it’s going to be my office. So, ladies, am I just being ungrateful? Should I just be grateful he’s doing that with the renovations and get over myself about everything else? I know these renovations would have happened regardless, but. Who knows. My brain is fried.

Oh. And my MIL is coming for a visit tomorrow and she’s going to be taking my cats home with her. She’s adopting them from me (us) because she’s wanted cats and I can’t handle having them here anymore. That’s a whole other can of worms. Boiled down very simply: I’ve always loved them dearly and now, and for quite some time, I can’t stand them being around me and need them to go to another happy home. Can’t do it anymore. Now that will be interesting to pick apart in therapy, eh?

Win some, lose some, right? Such is life.

#momblr #pregblr #27w2d #operationkay10 #05122023

[athousandmorningss]

a few things:

upon the beach today were many a people, doing their own thing. i perceived a level of comfort they seemed to be having, which i myself don't often experience while in public. and, they were embodying it with their ass cheeks hanging out, their tum tums exposed, ole granny put her hands in the back of her trunks no fucks given, dove into the water with her hands into the air, the matriarch encouraging the rest of the family to follow her into the water. goddamnit there was a man doing yoga on the MF sidewalk! he said i will get my sun salutation in on this day, and i don't care who sees it! and the man had supreme form honnie! another grandpa had his legs splayed, hairy toes out, doing an exercise that was funny to gaze upon, but he gave zero fucks.

god bless them. i am sooooo shy often: any day i brave the outside world and make it beyond my front doors is an exercise in bravery. my body has been a project my entire life: a thing to tame, to improve upon, to make better. it's notable that in the past few days i've felt many pairs of eyes upon me, gazing with interest or desire or curiosity. sometimes i feel that way about me own self, but mostly, it's shame and the desire to look differently. that's a hard thing to carry every day.

*

overheard some drunk fool talking to his girl, something about "i'll spit on you and you'll like it" after she mentioned a food good they were sharing had his spit upon it. had a visceral, tummy turning response to this: largely in part because that's that shit i used to like (TMI). i'm kinda horrified by the thought of it now, and sex in general. i'm feeling largely asexual, save for a person here or there that catches my eye. mostly the thought of sex makes me uncomfortable. and i'm not sure what to make of that, because i've never felt that way. bein gentle with myself.

*

feeling ready to go home. i'm so so so so lucky blessed grateful and moved by my adventures. but i miss my kitcats, my plants, a routine, and cooking at home etc. ganna be hard to get back to ttown, but i'm looking forward to trying to romanticize the place that i live, instead of wishing i was somewhere else.

*

been posting too much. kinda ended up liveblogging my vacation. that feels like an exercises in supreme narcissism. i suppose in some ways it's born of the feeling that i have few other people to share my experiences with. anyways. thanks for seeing me, or whatever.

#i got my fancy shoes on i'm headed out #idk where i'm going but i'm going honnie

[rueyam]

Salam <3

He messaged me on Saturday while I was at work. I felt it in my stomach when I saw his message pop up on the screen. He asked me if I wanted to meet him the next day and added, “I have something that might help us both.” So many thoughts went through my head, and I became even more nervous. I decided to meet him the next day after work. Long story short, from the moment I saw him until the end of our meeting, I realized that I didn’t want to continue with him. It might sound harsh, but the reasons for not wanting to continue became crystal clear, and I found even more reasons not to proceed.

Throughout our meeting, all I could think about was wanting to go home. I thanked Allah for making things clear for me and for not leaving me stuck between two choices. I am grateful that I attended that meeting, if I hadn't, I would definitely be filled with regret, thinking I might have lost a good potential and feeling sad about it.

I couldn’t express my decision right there and then. We were sitting in a cafeteria, surrounded by people, and I didn’t want him to feel ashamed or awkward in public. Besides, I didn’t want to disrupt everything when he had put so much effort into his appearance and choosing a place for us, etc., so I stayed until the end. That night, we went home without saying anything.

Now that I'm thinking back, he didn't even ask me how I felt after our meeting, he knew I was unsure about our situation. Perhaps he thought my agreement to meet him was a confirmation that I wanted to continue the "relationship"? I don't know. Because two days later (yesterday), he sent me a picture of small kittens and their prices, as if nothing had happened, as if we were planning for the future. As soon as I saw that message, I asked if we could talk on the phone, and that was our last conversation, I ended it there. All I felt afterward was relief and excitement. I don't know why excitement lol, maybe because I no longer had to deal with something I was unsure about. Like I can finally move on.

Please keep me in your prayers whenever you remember me, that Allah grants me a good, righteous spouse, someone I feel certain about, like them for who they are, and who feels like home to me. May he also feel the same way about me, ameen.

(I don't know if you saw my message I sent to you couple of days ago thanking @ sseol, pls let her know <3)

Salam <3

wa alaykum salam love and sorry for my delayed response, i was busy <3 my friend saw your message and will probably say something cute under this :‘)🤍

i‘m so happy you came to a final conclusion you are satisfied with. standing in between is so much more stressful than any kind of decision and no matter how hard it is to hurt someones feelings it is always better than faking something that isn’t. trusting your instinct will be the best thing for you both and will also prepare his path for him. something you can learn about the connection you had is that it was never pointless bc now you are closer to what you want and don’t want. you got closer to yourself.

oh i know that nauseous feeling you are talking about 😩 like it’s not even that the person is nauseating but your feelings towards him, like a warning sign, truly a blessing from Allah swt. you won’t feel that way for the right person, not after you gave him enough chances, this i can guarantee you.

thank you for the update and may Allah swt always protect you and grant you happiness and success in this world and the hereafter. may you come across someone who pleases your soul and may you both meet in the best of ways, at the best of time, ameen 💌✨

[daggzandarrowsnew]

Let’s go on Dreaming

Every time I listen to the song So Close and think of the scene it is from in Enchanted, I think of Outlaw Queen during that bloody painful Frozen arc and I HAVE to write something.

So we’ll pretend that Marian was really Marian and after she gave her blessing to Regina, nothing else happened in the town of Storybrooke. There was no Zelena issue to resolve but our Regina wasn’t quick to forgive Robin for things that happened during that time.

I’ve left descriptions of clothing etc. out of it purposefully. When I’m reading a fic, I usually like to visualise some of my favourite characters looks and just go with that so when descriptions come into it, it either muddles my brain or I just ignore them 🙈 that is only me though! If you prefer descriptions, let me know and I will include them in the future.

—————————

“I’m fine right here, sweetheart,” Regina smiled at Henry. Waving him away when he attempted to lead her to the table that Emma and her parents were sitting at. “Go have some fun.”

She had only agreed to come because Henry had refused to go without her.

If there was one thing Snow White loved, it was a victory party. She almost found herself wondering how many had been thrown over the years she’d attempted to kill the girl but decided not to take herself down that path tonight. They were in an extremely healthy place now. They’d never be the young princess and her kindhearted rescuer again, too much had happened. But they’d become something of a family once more.

She smiled over at the woman in question, shaking her head when Snow frowned at her resistance to join them.

Almost subconsciously, her eyes drifted to where Robin stood with his back to her and his eyes trained on his whiskey glass at the bar. When she looked back to Snow, she found sympathy there but no pity and for that, she was grateful.

She and Robin hadn’t spoken much since Marian had given her blessing. Regina hadn’t seen much point in it. They’d missed their time many years ago in a land far different than this one and they’d been fools to think otherwise. She’d been the biggest fool of all.

Darkness hadn’t yet touched her heart when she’d first laid eyes on him in that tavern. Sure, she’d had the first suggestions of darkness shrouding her thoughts but her heart had still been pure, much like Robin’s was. But now…she was the furthest thing she could have been to what he deserved. How she’d ever believed it could work was ridiculous. Of course he’d choose another over her. Of course he would.

It was a deep ache that threatened to steal her breath entirely every time she allowed herself to think too much into it. Tonight wasn’t about that though. Tonight was about spending time with her son and the people he loved and who loved him, even if they didn’t all love or even like her. So she took a deep breath and swallowed against the lump in her throat. She’d weathered the storm before, she would do so again with the help of Henry this time to keep her on the right path. On the only path she wanted to be on.

When a glass was placed in front of her, amber liquid swirling within, she took a deep breath, readying herself to look into shining blue eyes and refuse the offer of a drink only to release it swiftly and in no way subtly when she found Granny to be standing before her.

“Knock it back quick, girl.”

Regina frowned up at the woman before realising how she was standing right in front of her, her bulking frame hiding Regina from view of any who may be looking over. She smiled gratefully before picking up the glass and tipping the whiskey into her mouth, swallowing like she was a dying woman and this was the elixir of life. “Thank you,” she coughed lightly, placing the glass in Granny’s hand.

“Atta girl.”

And with nothing more than a comforting squeeze of her hand around Regina’s, she was moving off towards the bar once more.

——————

A short while later, Regina found another glass in front of her. This one easily identifiable by the smell that reached her instantly. Tequila.

“Miss Swan, I’m-“

“You may look fine, Regina,” Emma interrupted as she lowered herself into the booth opposite her, her own shot glass in her hand, “but I know I’d prefer a friend in this situation.”

Robin had since moved from his place at the bar to sit beside his (now) ex-wife and son. Their gazes had met a couple of times, holding only for one painful instant before she was looking anywhere else but at him despite the feeling of those eyes still on her.

“It’s been a hard few weeks for everyone,” she continued, her fingernails tapping at the glass in her hand now resting on the table in front of her. And Regina blinked.

Though she’d initiated the search that had helped stop Emma from relinquishing her powers - a ridiculous notion that the Charmings had somehow entertained for a terrifying moment - she’d been too wrapped up in her own issues with Robin to remind Emma that magic was in the very fabric of her being. So she nodded and lifted the shot glass in front of her, smiling when Emma mirrored her and knocked them together with a satisfying clink before they were sinking the tequila without so much as a grimace.

Emma’s eyes moved back over to her family and Regina studied her for a moment. Here was a woman who’d finally found everything she wanted - the son she’d been too afraid to keep, the parents she’d always searched for and the love she’d always craved from other partners but never found. Yet, much like Regina, she’d been unable to accept it and had tried to change herself.

Regina shook her head, knowing that she too should be accepting that she was simply enough as she was despite her past but it was so much easier to give advice rather than take it.

“If ever you should need my help with anything, Emma…” she began tentatively, lifting her eyes from the table when the blonde turned her attention back to Regina. “I may not be the most approachable, but I am always here…whenever you need.”

Emma nodded gratefully before chuckling softly to herself and eliciting a frown from Regina. “You may not have been approachable when I first got here, Madame Mayor,” she grinned, able to laugh at their initial rivalry now despite how both were nearly killed numerous times during those first couple of years, “but you’re most definitely not as scary now as you were then.”

Dark eyes flashed with a dangerous humour as a perfectly tweezed brow lifted. “You think I’ve gone soft, Miss Swan?”

“Okay, no,” Emma laughed, lifting herself from the booth. “Let’s leave the Evil Queen in her cage, shall we?”

Regina merely shrugged in response as Emma began backing off with a much easier smile than when she’d first sat down. “The night’s still young.”

“Yes,” Emma nodded, that smile softening as she cocked her head towards where Robin now sat alone, “it is.”

——————

She was on her way back from the bathroom, weaving slowly through those who’d chosen to get up and dance - Henry and Emma among them, she noted with a smile - when small fingers curl around her hand suddenly.

“Dance with me, R’gina!”

“Roland, use your manners,” Marian’s admonishment came instantly as Regina turned to find the two behind her.

“Dance with me please, R’gina!” he amended adorably, Regina’s heart growing two sizes as she crouched to his level with a warm smile.

“By the looks of your rosy cheeks,” she tapped at the side of his face, eliciting a shriek of laughter from him, “I’d say you’d already been dancing.”

He nodded before reasoning, “But I haven’t danced with you yet!”

“You can’t just abandon your mama,” she replied, not wanting to step on Marian’s toes with their checkered past. “Who will she dance with?”

The woman in question laughed easily, shaking her head as she explained, “You’d be doing me a favour,” she raised a hand to her forehead for Roland’s benefit as she added, “I’m all danced out, I’m afraid.”

Roland looked from his mother and back to Regina excitedly as she looked up at Marian with her eyebrows raised in question, asking if the woman really was sure. When she merely smiled wider and nodded, Regina looked back to Roland.

“Well I guess that’s settled then.”

And with that, she hefted the giggling toddler onto her hip and began turning them in circles, revelling in the same excited shrieks this kind of dancing had once pulled from her own son when she’d twirled him around the kitchen as a child.

—————-

She was almost out of breath and quite ready to call it a night. Roland had allowed her a moment of reprieve, running to his mother to ask if she’d been watching their two, three, four different dances (which, of course, she had). She was about to turn and start making her way back towards her table when she felt it. She felt him. Standing behind her.

“May I have this dance, milady?”

Regina turned slowly on the spot, quite sure at least four pairs of eyes were on them already as she finally locked a steady gaze on the man she’d been unable to look at all night.

His smile was so earnest, so full of hope as he stood before her that she found herself automatically nodding despite the lump rising in her throat.

Robin gave her a long moment more to change her mind before he was slowly and tentatively stepping into her space with his hands held up palm outwards.

She shouldn’t, Regina knew she shouldn’t but somehow, her hands lifted of their own accord. One found its way onto his shoulder, curving over the muscle there as she felt him cup her waist, while the other laid gently atop his waiting palm.

There was a moment in which their eyes locked once more. One filled with every single word they’d never been able to say to one another, never been brave enough to voice in these last few heartachingly awful weeks. And then, without any more thought to it (because what needed to be said right now, here in this frozen moment between them) they pulled one another closer and began to move, feeling for the first time in a long time that perhaps things wouldn’t have to be so difficult anymore. Perhaps for once, things could be easy.

Just this once.

#outlaw queen #regina mills #ouat #oq ff #once upon a time #oq au #robin hood #daggzandarrows #ouat ff