#so anyway i might’ve forced my body into being sick if that’s even possible bc i felt so bad

[god217]

Hi! I'm, sending in a request on Ray getting taken care of while he sick?? He tries to be so good to MC and deserves to be loved and cared for back!!!

Yessss he is such a good boy omg and tysm for the request 💕

It kinda got both longer and more sad than intended but I mean what did you expect from me lmao

Also I didn’t fully proofread this bc it’s 1:30am I hope it’s fine, my brain is too dead to think pfft idek how I’m still writing-

… … … … … … … … … … … … .

Ray was more than used to being sick, it happened more often than he could even count.

His body had always been weak like that, too useless to handle any kind of work. And somehow the elixir always made it worse, even though he knew that it was helping him and he was just too stupid to get it right.

But even he wasn’t used to being /that/ sick, to get to the point where he could barely keep himself in his chair, the room spinning around him at a pace he didn’t even want to focus on.

He wanted so bad to just lie down on the floor but he couldn’t possibly do that.

He had to keep working…

He couldn’t just slack off.

He never did.

If he couldn’t even work anymore, what purpose would he have? The savior would throw him out, and he’d deserve it.

He owed her so much, and he couldn’t possibly disappoint her.

But he couldn’t even see the code on his screen, his head aching too much for him to focus, and his vision blurring to the point that he was certain he’d pass out again.

As hard as he tried, eventually he had to admit defeat.

Using the walls of the hallway to support himself, the boy somehow managed to drag himself through the castle, his feet carrying him without his mind even realizing. Only when he was in front of her door did he notice that he’d gone to see MC.

No.

He couldn’t possibly… she shouldn’t have to see him like that.

Surely she already knew how pathetic he was, but he didn’t have to show her any more.

She’d hate him for certain if she saw that he couldn’t even take care of himself.

But just as he was turning, trying to hurry away, another bolt of excruciating pain shot through his head and his knees gave in. His body practically collapsed, sliding down the wall until he was half-lying on the ground, slightly leaning against it.

Deep breaths.

Ray closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing like he’d learned, holding back tears both from the pain and from the knowledge that once again, he wasn’t even strong enough to control his own body.

At least nobody had seen him.

Perhaps… perhaps if he just rested for a little bit, he’d be okay again. He could just stay there for a few minutes, the cold floor would be enough for him.

He’d just have to wait for a moment until he was alright to get up again.

Then he could go for some fresh air and go back to work.

He wasn’t even strong enough to move, let alone open his eyes, so he just resorted to curling up into a ball and waiting for it all to pass.

The next thing he knew was a hand on his shoulder, a voice calling his name.

Had he fallen asleep?

He must’ve, otherwise he’d have heard her coming.

His eyes blinked open, his face immediately grimacing at the pain returning to him all at once, before registering the girl leaning over him with a worried expression.

Oh no, now he’d made her see him. And how much time had he even wasted sleeping? God, he’d made her worry…

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice coming out much weaker than he’d intended, the mere act of speaking immediately proving to be a bad idea as he had to pause for a moment to collect himself.

He definitely wouldn’t do /that/ in front of her.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to continue as he struggled back to his feet.

“Please just… pretend you didn’t see me. Please.”

He didn’t have the energy to say much else, standing as straight as he could, just hoping he’d manage to make it out of her line of sight before collapsing again, praying she’d go back to her room and just not look at him.

Just please don’t look at him.

Yet, he longed so much for her touch, regretting even pulling away from her softly shaking him awake. If only he could curl up next to her instead, have her comfort him… he’d instantly feel better, he knew it.

But such things weren’t his to wish for, they’d never been and never would be. He wasn’t born to be loved. He wasn’t worth it.

She deserved so much better than him, and he didn’t want her to have to feel bad for rejecting him, so he should just leave.

He didn’t get far, though.

It was surprise that caused him to almost fall over this time, because the last thing he’d expected was for her to reach out to him, to ask him to wait.

Unable to deny her of anything, Ray turned, hiding his face in his hands so she wouldn’t see how his eyes were tearing up again, and how pathetic he must’ve been looking in general.

Before he could even react, he found himself being pulled into her room, unable to resist. His mind was too dazed to really understand what was going on, all that he knew was that, all of a sudden, it was… soft.

He was in a bed?

Confused, he blinked up at her, his aching head in too much pain to come up with an explanation for what was happening.

Why was he in a bed? Why was he in… her bed..?

She was at his side after seconds, a glass of water in her hand, helping him up before handing it to him.

He hadn’t even realized how thirsty he’d been, when was the last time he’d had a drink? Had to have been… yesterday, perhaps. He hadn’t paid much attention to the time while he’d been working.

But why was she doing this?

She didn’t have to take care of him, she certainly had other things to do than that! He hadn’t meant to ruin her day like that, to force her to give up her plans just for him.

This time he didn’t manage to stop the tears, his shoulders shaking as he quickly turned away from her, burying his face in the pillows.

Her pillows.

They even smelled like her, and it only made things worse.

Every single time something good happened in his life…

Why did he always have to ruin it?

Why did he always have to sabotage every ounce of happiness he might’ve had a chance of grasping?

His arms moved around the soft pillow, holding it close as he curled around it, pressing his eyes shut as if he’d disappear if he didn’t look.

He wished he could just disappear, he truly did.

He just wanted to pretend that she wasn’t there, that she didn’t see him like that. Didn’t see him sobbing into her pillows.

She’d probably left already anyway.

There was no way she’d stay with him like this, nobody would.

And there was no way that she’d… climb in the bed with him?

Although he didn’t dare to look, Ray stopped crying and held his breath the second he felt the mattress shift. The weight of something - somebody - being next to him was unmistakable, and there was only one person that it could possibly be.

Still, he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that she’d actually be willing to lie with him, even when he was like that.

Did she not think he was disgusting? Pathetic?

She didn’t seem to at least, not when she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.

She didn’t seem to hate him when she began stroking his hair, paying no mind to how sweaty it had gotten from his fever.

Ray was frozen in shock when he felt her face nuzzle against his neck, so unbelievably close to her that he thought he was dreaming.

He probably was still in the hallway, sleeping on his own. But oh please, he begged he wouldn’t be woken up.

He’d never really had a good dream before, especially not like that.

It all felt so real, yet at the same time it couldn’t possibly be!

She couldn’t possibly want to be close to him, especially not when he was sick like that.

Ah, right.

For a moment he’d actually forgotten about his headache, as if just her touch had healed him somehow.

It was still there, but it felt much more bearable. Everything felt more bearable with her holding him like that.

Slowly, reluctantly, he shifted a bit, turning his face towards her. He was afraid she’d disappear as soon as he tried to look at her, but he just had to see her, he had to make sure that this moment was real.

All he could do was stare when his eyes truly did meet hers, a warm smile answering his baffled gaze.

She was real.

Swallowing, Ray reached up to wipe his tears, not daring to even blink in fear that she might still disappear, turn out to be nothing but an illusion.

But she didn’t.

“It’s okay.”

Her words were but a small whisper, barely audible and undoubtedly meant for him. Only two words, but they spoke more than he could ever describe.

They were all she had to say to him.

Finally giving in to himself, he turned towards her fully, burying his face in her arms. Allowing himself to wrap his arms around her like he’d always wanted to, holding her close to make sure she was there.

She didn’t pull away.

As Ray’s tears began welling up again, she resumed stroking his hair, softly pushing the strands out of his face. She paid no mind to the small whimpers that involuntarily left him, gently shushing him until eventually he could feel himself drifting off to sleep.

Perhaps if he could sleep close to her like that, he truly would have a good dream for once.

And maybe once he woke up he’d feel better already.

He was certain he would, for once in his life, he was absolutely sure of it. Because she’d said it was okay, and she wouldn’t lie to him, ever.

Still praying he’d really be allowed to, Ray eventually fell asleep, her calm breathing the last thing he was still aware of before dozing off in her arms.

She stayed.

#mysme #mystic messenger #saeran choi #ray choi #writing #mysme writing #217 fic