#so ANYWAY all of this is to say I must be the problem

[akajustmerry]

on sherlock adaptations: what do you think of house

I have so Many thousands of thoughts of House as a Sherlock adaptation that I could write a book about it and chapter one would be called: A HOUSE IS NOT A HOLMES© because I don't CARE that they called him House and idc that his apartment is 221b and that he plays the violin sometimes and solves problems, that's not my friend Sherlock Holmes!!!!!

House doesn't work as a Sherlock adaptation because deduction as Holmes practices it in the stories is not SPECIALIST KNOWLEDGE!!! the whole appeal of Holmes is that you read it and you feel like you could also deduce things. Holmes teaches you a way to look at the world and be more observant and use that knowledge to help people.

Holmes isn't a politician or a policeman even, he's a guy who wants to help because he's studied a particular way to see the world and you can too.........House is a SPECIALIST DOCTOR with a typical Doctor's God complex. That's as far as you can get from Holmes!!! The whole point of Holmes is he's not part of an institution!!! He operates OUTSIDE OF IT. House's knowledge base is medically specialist, you can't engage with his deductive reasoning the way you can with Holmes in the stories because to know what he knows you have to go to med school for 20 years. There's never a sense when you watch that you could have figured it out. Also, House's job description is institutionalised and established. He's not doing anything (med malpractice aside) that wouldn't be in the scope of any other specialist.

Thirdly, Sherlock Holmes isn't a guy looking to have power of people. This is the thing that arguably pisses me off most about House which is the interpretation of Holmes as someone looking lord his intelligence over others. I think this comes from the prevailing tortured genus trope. But also people not being able to tell the difference between Sherlock as a character who is just very open about his observations and someone who's an asshole. Sherlock is actually a very honest character which sometimes yeah means he's harsh but mostly he's just truthful. House mutilates this trait beyond recognition to the point of near constant and unrealistic cruelty.

Finally, I think making Holmes a doctor literally means you can't actually have a Watson because arguably the whole point of Watson, other than to be the audience pov, is to add credibility to Sherlock's unorthodox career choice AND to provide a traditional scientific perspective. House being a Doctor means none of that is really needed. Everyone knows, understands, and respects what a Doctor is!!! Wilson as a Watson figure has nothing to do except be the audience's WTF POV. Even the way Wilson and House's friendship is done is simply, like.... they didn't read the source material. Do you get that these men are meant to be at the very least friends who enjoy each other's company?? Also I think people need to shut the fuck up about House MD being a secretly gay show. A show doing homophobia on the regular isn't gay in any way that matters.

I say all this as someone who's watched it and enjoyed it at times. House and Cuddy were literally like one of the first ships I ever shipped. Do you know how weird it is to be 15 rooting for 2 middle aged co-workers on tv to fuck?? Anyways, I have lots of other thoughts about how the show handles House's addiction and disabilities and how arguably these are also taken loosely from Holmes lore. But if House MD must be considered a Holmes adaptation, it's one that mostly just mutilates. Almost every criticism hbomberguy says in his Sherlock is Garbage video essay is also applicable to House MD.

#house md #sherlock holmes #sorry to get weird about my no1 blorbo sherlock holmes I'm not actually <3 #house

[mewsmagic]

I DID NOT EXPECT TO DO ANOTHER ANALYSIS THOUGHTS WHATEVER POST BUT ARLECCHINO IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR MY NEURODIVERGENT BRAIN AND I NEED TO TALK ABT IT SO HERE WE GO AGAIN

Spoiler warning for Arlecchino’s character teaser!!!

If you haven’t yet, watch it here!!

Look look. I really did not expect Arlecchino to be comprehensive, understanding or merciful (of her children) since in the Fontaine trailer she was critical of Lyney and Lynette and we did have other harbingers calling her a wolf in sheep’s clothing and things like that

Oh fuck I screenshotted this at the wrong time LOLL anyway

BUT THEN SHE WAS SO KIND WITH THIS GIRL 😭😭

Despite telling her that she told her recklessness would lead to failure, she was not mad at her AT ALL – and I mean, completely fair, girl was literally on her deathbed – and instead decided to deal with the problem herself 😭😭😭😭😩😩😩🤯🤯🤯🤡🤡🤡 I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS FROM A SUPPOSEDLY “STRICT AND UNFEELING FATHER”

Also, this isn’t my main point but the way she showed up like fricking bogeyman and crushed the nasty man’s skull with her HEEL was insane (positively) for me

Anyway LOL then she went, killed him, exposed his crimes and robbed all his money SO SHE COULD ADOPT MORE HOMELESS CHILDREN LIKE PLEASE THIS IS EXTREMELY CHAD AND BASED OF HER

Not only that, but she went back to her child and saw her off herself 😭😭😭😭 this shot of her closing her eyes, gosh this made me really emotional, especially considering what comes next

She did mourn her death!!!! Not only that but she called her “her child”!!!!! Although she appears inexpressive, it must’ve been so hard to see the children you raised part like that.

And considering we’re talking about a whole orphanage, this is definitely not her first time, and won’t be her last either, it must be so hard to be the director of the House :(

Now, I gotta say I like her character even more after all this 😭😭😭😭

I am all for villains who are actually evil and nasty flawed people and I do like characters like that as well, but I feel like in Alrecchino’s case, it was kinda necessary for her to have a softer side?

I mean, again, we’re talking about an orphanage here. Her underlings are literally her own children, children like her who were abandoned at a young age, had nowhere to go and no one to take care of them. Not only that, but she has to train them to become underground agents and deal with dangerous situations at a young age. To become criminals even.

And this is all without even mentioning that she had to deal with generational trauma too. It’s a tendency for this type of children to become the opposite of their parents, and try to do better than them even if they do still have their own flaws. And I think this is shown wonderfully in Arlecchino.

She tries to put a front of a cold and strict father, but on the inside, she’s not as ruthless as she makes herself out to be. Even to the Traveler, who has been an “enemy” of the Fatui in various situations, she did not care about it and instead judged them to be a valuable ally (AND SHE WAS NOT WRONG!!!!)

It's really no wonder Lyney admires her and wants to be like her. Tbh I would feel the same way if I were in his shoes LOL Lynette and Freminet seem to respect her a lot as well, from what I've seen in the Archon quests and the story quests I mean.

I did not read all of the Hearth siblings lore however, so I may be missing some information about how she raised them, and there’s still the story quest and the Boss fight that still wasn’t released and I don’t look at this type of leaks LOL but still, you got my point!

Another point I wanna mention is that this front of cold, unfeeling and harsh could be considered her flaw, even if it’s just a mask.

I mean, it is considered a toxic trait to pretend to be something you’re not. It could be people pleasing (no shame btw I am one myself), could be narcissistic traits like the previous Knave showed, and it could be pretending to be tougher than you really are, like in Arlecchino’s case.

In this case, she’s not only neglecting her own feelings and not letting them out (i.e.: not crying for her child’s death for example), but it can give the wrong impression to her children as well.

It gives the impression that she doesn’t care about them, especially at a young age, and especially considering they’re homeless children who have already been abandoned by their biological parents, and by the world itself.

According to studies on psychology, this situation makes children even more vulnerable to insecurity, low self-esteem, and gives them even more need for emotional connection and reassurance, which Arlecchino doesn't give them bc she's cold.

So yeah, Arlecchino IS still flawed and questionable in her own way, the children do feel the effect of this and her “good side” was necessary for her position and done wonderfully in my opinion.

Personally, I LOVE it when villains/anti-heroes are unhinged at the right people/moments but at the same time still have their kind side and their own issues. I mean, questionable people in real life do also have their good side, and this is exactly what makes them fucking nasty when they're nasty.

But I'll definitely talk more about this whenever I do make a post about Firefly from Star Rail! Gosh I have so much to say about her, just wait for me guys!!!

#mews magical texts #genshin #genshin impact #arlecchino #the knave #arlechinno genshin #knave genshin #arleccino genshin #genshin arlecchino #thoughts #character analysis #media analysis #discussion #opinion

[isfjmel-phleg]

After my presentation of the Secret Garden and CEN paper, someone in the audience asked about applying the lens of CEN to other children's book from the same era. I thought about it afterward, and the best example that came to mind was Anne of Green Gables.

Anne Shirley, before her arrival at Green Gables, has experienced CEN. It has played out in a much different way for her than it does for Mary and Colin in TSG, due to differences in social class, but the principle has been the same. As an orphan raised in homes that viewed her as an inconvenience and a sort of unpaid servant, she has never had an adult in her life who prioritized her emotional well-being, who took the time to be kind to her, to listen to her, to teach her how to function in the world beyond basic survival. She is aware that no one wants her after her parents' death, and she is made to feel guilty by her caretakers for having the audacity to exist and need to be "brought up by hand." It's difficult for Anne to even talk about these experiences when Marilla asks her. She's relieved to get relating them over with, because "Evidently she did not like talking about her experiences in a world that had not wanted her."

And then there's this exchange:

“Were those women—Mrs. Thomas and Mrs. Hammond—good to you?” asked Marilla, looking at Anne out of the corner of her eye. “O-o-o-h,” faltered Anne. Her sensitive little face suddenly flushed scarlet and embarrassment sat on her brow. “Oh, they meant to be—I know they meant to be just as good and kind as possible. And when people mean to be good to you, you don’t mind very much when they’re not quite—always. They had a good deal to worry them, you know. It’s a very trying to have a drunken husband, you see; and it must be very trying to have twins three times in succession, don’t you think? But I feel sure they meant to be good to me.”

Anne has clearly been mistreated, but she's describing--and pointedly not describing--suggests less of aggression and physical harm and more of something missing, an emptiness, a lack of love--CEN. Likewise, she herself exhibits some signs that can be associated with this type of maltreatment. Difficulty with emotional regulation, attachment problems, extreme sensitivity to rejection, negativity toward herself, excessively immersing herself in imagination (a mild dissociative tendency), anxiety around social situations (regarding how to behave correctly and whether people will like her), etc.

And in a way, the entire first book of the series deals with how she finds healing from her past of CEN, through gaining the love and acceptance of her new family, of friends, of an entire community.

From what little I know of L. M. Montgomery's life, CEN was likely a factor in her own upbringing, and it repeatedly features in her novels (The Blue Castle and Jane of Lantern Hill, for instance, in particular feature heroines who have experienced CEN) with poignancy. Montgomery paints moving portraits of how badly children can be scarred by a lack of love and affirmation.

Anyway, situating Anne's backstory as rooted in CEN helped me put my finger on one of the reasons that I felt that the recent series Anne With an E--at least the first season, which is all I've seen--misunderstood the nature of Anne's past. In this version, we see flashbacks to Anne's past, in which she is being viciously bullied by other children for her talkativeness and imagination. They even go so far as to stuff a mouse into her mouth, and the show suggests that Anne has PTSD as a result of this kind of treatment.

And yeah, Anne's childhood in the book isn't great and clearly has hurt her deeply, but this interpretation felt off to me. What Anne has to say--and not say--about her past in the book suggests not that she was targeted as an object of others' aggression but that she was disregarded. No one was giving her a second thought. That's not as dramatic and shocking as vicious bullying, but it's another, more subtle, insidious kind of maltreatment, just as hurtful in its way but harder to pin down. It's easy to portray a quick, sensational scene of our protagonist being obviously, overtly, grandiosely mistreated, but how do you show the gradual piling up of years' and years' of being treated like you don't matter? All the tiny incidents that chip away at one's sense of self-worth? The building of a worldview in which you must earn love and acceptance but somehow you can never manage it and of course it's your own fault?

And I'm reminded how recent adaptations and retellings of TSG shift the narrative toward grief, which is easy to dramatize, big and impressive and full of obvious pathos. It's an easy way out of depicting a subtler kind of suffering, and the same way, Anne With an E replaces Anne's CEN with bullying and PTSD. There is a place for such stories, but Anne's isn't one of them. It's almost as if there's an inability to understand or a reluctance to depict any kind of suffering that isn't big and grand and shocking. There are many ways that people can be deeply hurt, and it doesn't always look like a major traumatic event that's easy to pinpoint. Sometimes the hurt isn't a tidal wave that engulfs in a single devastating event; it's a slow drip that erodes oneself away little by little. That's closer to what is depicted for Anne, and Montgomery's other protagonists who have experienced CEN, and it's important to recognize what exactly is going on because this sort of thing still happens every day in the real world, in many forms, and it needs to be seen and combatted. And seeing this form of maltreatment play out in literature helps us recognize it and empathize with and reach out to those whom it has impacted--or possibly even to identify it in our own histories and search for our own healing.

#I apologize if not everything is phrased perfectly - I'm just working through some initial thoughts on this #but I hope the point of what I'm trying to communicate will get through

[add1ctedt0you]

"Can't you see the look on jiejie's face?"

#In the first gif I was like: jc it's cute that you are waiting for wwx but don't leave jyl when she's sad #Then I saw how much he turned around and understood that sect heir jc was checking that all jiang disciples were with them #Anyway. While donghua!jyl is always dissociating and novel!jyl has jfm and wwx's vibes 'smile. your problems will disapear' #Cql!jyl seems so sad. not seen. not loved #And then someone validates her feelings!(jc saying to wwx to shut up about jzx because jyl is sad) #But he doesn't do that in front of her :( #Honestly. Cql!jyl is sad in a way I didn't expect #*mgifs #Cql #yunmeng siblings #Also. I must say that a jyl who shows her emotions and a jc much more responsive emotionally are valid interpretations of the text tbh

[yikes-ajax]

Thinking about how deranged this thanksgiving was.

I hit a kid with my cane. I popped so many painkillers. I hit a kid with my cane again. I went black Friday shopping and came back only with things that weren't on sale. I hit that kid with my cane so hard in the shin he's gonna need a cane, too. I had a religious crisis. I threw my cane at that kid in the passenger seat because he said I don't need handicap parking. Some dude dressed in a really nice santa costume was just standing at the end of his driveway waving at cars and I barked violently at him. I fucking punched that kid. I spent more money on a dog than my family. I still bought that kid ice cream because I hate him but I hate the company I took the money from more. At some point I just fell asleep under the dinner table. I played Minecraft with that kid and he's a fucking loser. I had a whole therapy session in the car trauma dumping for the two hour drive home. I'm going to ruin that kids life I'm just too tired right now. It's been days and I still feel hungover. I didn't even drink.

Needless to say I think the spirit of doctor House possessed me for thanksgiving. Either way 10/10 would do again and Christmas is either gonna put me in jail or back on Lexapro

#GUYS DONT THINK I WAS JUST ATTACKING THAT KID FOR NO REASON HE KEPT KICKING MY CANE OUT FROM UNDER ME AND BEING A BITCH #also hes not a kid hes a teenager and he plays football he can take some hits #anyways ive never had a thanksgiving this wild #there wasnt any family drama either??? #it was just all me im the problem here and i enjoy it massively #hahah im not okay yall 🤠 #my nana tucked me into bed like i was still a little kid though and i just wanted to cry right there on spot #i feel so blessed 😊😊😊 *explosions in background* #WAIT FOR THAT KID TO CATCH ME WITH MY CRUTCHES I NEARLY KILL PEOPLE WHILE USING THEM WITHOUT TRYING WAIT UNTIL IM ACTUALLY BLOODTHIRSTY #hmbmbngg i am. calm and......... collected #i must say it again i shouldnt be allowed to post past midnight #send help #shitpost #shitposting #thanksgiving #dr house #dr greg house #dr gregory house #hate crimes md

[widevibratobitch]

my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant

#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're #*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :(((( #no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying #in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3 #anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast #was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer #and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest. #earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went #*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫' #and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical #like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs #and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs #but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit #let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3 #and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down #the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me #if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like #the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures #like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh #like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall #not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me #trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :))))))) #like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks #But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333 #like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj #you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33 #but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday #but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: January 17

"Stage Fright" by The Band

#song of the day #today's song courtesy of Duncan who played it several times #today was I must say a pretty shit day. it was a bad day. I did not enjoy it at all. many small bad newses today and one large one #but the thing about bad days is that they end! and I am pulling the plug on this one early #gonna curl up real small in my nice warm bed and read Call of Duty fic and then I'm going to sleep #and I will deal with tomorrow's problems tomorrow!! #also coming to me tomorrow is a lovely delivery from the vegeble man. carrots and parsnips and 'a cabbage surely favored by the Lord' #I am excited to eat the godsblessed cabbage. I haven't made golubtsi in far too long #and after we eat all the golubtsi (it will not take long. I really love cabbage) I'm gonna make root vegetable fries #with the carrots and parsnips and with my sweet potatoes which I grew my own self! massive sweet potato harvest #and with the root fries we're gonna have a sort of mushroom and blue cheese stuffed meatloaf #(used to be I made separate burgers for us all but that takes a lot longer and the meatloaf I can put in the oven with the fries) #anyway tomorrow will be a better day! I will make it so! with the power of cabbage!!!!

[sparky-is-spiders]

Hi! I’m here suffering from lack of good Archivist!Sasha content as well 😭 On that note, do you have any fic on that topic you would recommend? Or just good Sasha fics in general, (or Jonsasha, if that’s your cup of tea)? Thank you in advance 😊

Tragically, I think there is a general dearth of good Archivist!Sasha content (and just about none of it Jonsasha content, as far as I can tell (and not only is Jonsasha my cup of tea, but the ONLY thing standing between it and the #1 OTP spot (currently occupied by JE) is the fact that the Jonsasha that I desperately crave exists in my brain and nowhere else)). Admittedly, I haven't looked very far into her tag yet (I should rectify that at some point tbh) but I've dug around the Jonsasha tag when I first got into it, and I know at least one fic where Sasha drifts towards Beholding through an interest in office gossip.

In terms of Jonsasha Ao3 has:

This very good Sasha lives fic where Jon shows up to Georgie's with an unconscious Sasha and everyone involved is very confused.

These two fics are cute also. The former is by @/suttttton and is them getting together, the latter is established Jonsasha from @/dickwheelie.

Eyevatar Sasha might actually be thinner on the ground (outside of fix-its where she solves everything and her canon reckless curiosity is completely ignored). Ao3 has:

This fic, which is Jongerry with outsider PoV Sasha. Just barely has the implication that she might be shifting towards the Eye (via prying into the lives of her coworkers) but gets a mention through sheer force of Excellent Sasha Characterization. I read this and I feel like I'm reading a fic from a Sasha Understander.

There's also this fic, which looks very promising but which I haven't actually gotten the chance to read yet, so I can't speak to its quality.

Unfortunately I've only gotten into Sasha fairly recently (especially as compared to Jon, who my brain latched onto in a deathgrip from the start), so I haven't gone through her tag yet. A scroll through the Archivist!Sasha or Beholding Avatar!Sasha tags pulls up a lot of fix-it and J//mart, which isn't really what I'm looking for from the concept. I'm sure there's more out there, and if/when I find them I'll come back to this ask probably, but I lucked into Reverse Nighthawks (I was on a Jongerry kick).

But god every day I wish that I could write romance and/or longfic, because about a year ago I read a Jonmichael fic that, when discussing alternate universes (where Jon ended the world) it's revealed that he once did an apocalypse out of love for his Archivist, Sasha James. And it was one (1) single line, but it struck me so hard because god. A perfect concept I think. The potential dynamics of Archivist!Sasha/Assistant!Jon are enthralling to me. Jon destroying the world (or helping her destroy the world? Cute date night I think: bringing about armageddon with your eldritch monster partner) for Sasha... anyway mostly I mentioned that one because My God if I have to live with that tantalizing AU rotating in the background of my mind 24/7 so do the rest of you.

#also I'm very sorry how much this was About Jon #I really /do/ love sasha it's just that jon lives in my brain literally all the time #I am incapable of making a single solitary tma post that is not like 50% about him #not a Single One #every character and relationship and dynamic must somehow include jon to interest me. I struggle to care about jon-less anythings #it's a Problem #anyway I really really love sasha and want to write her one day but I need to finish my JE stuff first #the thing is the sasha in my brain is in zero other places #I extrapolated some stuff from canon to create a Blorbo but I don't think many other people interpret her the same way #I have some sasha and jonsasha stuff lying around somewhere but the gist is that I think sasha should become a morally questionable eyevata #who feeds the eye by invading people's privacy ''accidentally.'' based on her actions in the s1 finale she's probably a good person usually #but is reckless when protecting those she cares about and ESPECIALLY when curious and I want her to be a lil freaky with it #too tired to string my sasha thoughts together properly but they're mostly about how she should have a fun corruption arc #I want her to end the world in s3. I want her to have extremely difficult and complicated feelings about leaving the institute. about being #an eyevatar also. I think she didn't get enough screentime to say a lot for certain but she has enough interesting and complex things in he #brain that she could offer an interesting perspective if she survived or was the archivist. I also think she and martin should've switched #places. sorry martinlikers but she had more stuff going for her and also her perspective would be unique and interesting instead of yet #another 'the Eye is Bad.' that's actually the jonsasha thing I like the most. reading her statement and there's so many parallels between #her and jon. I think they'd compliment each other in a way literally no other jonship could manage #anyway sorting tags #jonsasha #asks #thank you for the ask btw!! I am. VERY. passionate about this subject. sasha has so much potential and stuff going for her but I get so #bitter because nobody is willing to engage with the stuff I find most interesting about her. probably another reason it took me as long as #it did to get Attached to her. I spent too much time with fanon sasha who's had the potential and complexity and points of interest #stripped away so that she can fix the world for jm to get together which is so much more boring than whatever the hell was wrong with her #(affectionate) (I like my characters a lil weird and fucked up. a lot weird and fucked up even) #ok veryvery tired need to stop rambling and think about sasha some more. #oh wait one more thought actually she's autistic and trans (projecting but also. like. tell me i'm wrong) thank you and goodnight

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!' #'i wouldnt lie to you!' #okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time. #its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!' #yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up. #i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up. #and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense. #shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else. #im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that. #and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares. #and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look? #then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness. #SORRY RANT OVER. #im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric. #tw homophobia #tw transphobes

[moregraceful]

feeling uncooperative with the prompts in the meme. between cheech and old pat which one would survive a joint venture into a thrift store? and which of them would you convert into a minor league baseball player if you had a magic wand

God yeah I reblogged that list and then read the questions and was like...this list is wack lol. Anyway THANK YOU these questions are much more important and gets really into the Hearts and Minds of these men.

Who survives a joint venture to the thrift store: Old Pat. It's Old Pat. Man has looked 40 years old since he hit puberty and has just kept growing older. Old man is in his element with the real senior citizens. However it is very important to me to mention that they're going to a bespoke thrift store for like farm and cowboy shit. Cheech could handle normal thrifting. Cheech would be great at normal thrifting. But take him to a store where it's JUST vintage farming equipment and cowboy leather shit and that city boy is going to panic. Old Pat is having a blast looking at pieces of metal that clearly spark joy in his construction worker heart but make NO sense to Cheech, son of academics, WHL overager. Cheech agreed to come to the store to push the cart but now he is manfully deep breathing while Old Pat examines a metal thing with rings. Is it for horses? Is it for wearing? Is it a BDSM thing? Do you put it on a tractor? Cheech is scared. (It is literally just a beval bit.) These stores don't exist in the Bay Area but maybe they do in idk Manitoba or Michigan or whatever. Or Gilroy, where all our dreams come true.

Minor league baseball player: the thing is, we're on Sieloff Watch (KING. ANNOUNCE YOUR RETIREMENT OR SIGN SOMEWHERE BEFORE I THROW UP) and Cheech is having his hot girl summer. So I'm inclined to say Cheech, just bc I think he has a shot in hell of making it OUT of minor league baseball. Also he is handsome like a baseball player. He has the looks for it. Not that you have to be handsome to be a baseball player but it helps. Can you imagine that man in the humid outfield of some nameless town in the San Joaquin Valley, fighting for his life in the game, the top three buttons of his jersey are undone, his curls are wilting, the uhhhh idk Fresno Nightcrawlers, AA for some cursed af West Coast team, are down 9-7 in the 8th, when the skies open up and it starts pouring...the stands, already two-thirds empty on a Tuesday night clear, while the teams run for cover under the downpour. Nick stands in the outfield and tilts his head toward the sky, feeling, for a moment, relief and peace.

#this was soooo fun thank you #i unpacked 21 boxes of books. i need to organize since the categorization is loose but at least there are no longer 24 boxes in that room #there is a box of comics i don't want and two boxes of cookbooks for the kitchen #idk what to do with the comics. the part of my life where i was an issue by issue reader of comics is over #tempted to loosely inventory and sell on ebay like here for $50 all these doa indies can be YOUR problem #i'm also missing a whole chunk of my tkams but my mom says she saw a box of them in another room #which is good bc i would literally go insane if i were truly missing any of my intl copies of tkam some of that shit was SO hard to aquire #anyway i just remembered what i was going to say which is that in the cuda frontier town au in my shower thoughts #siels is the washer woman. he runs a laundry. employs robbie (too small to ride horses) and weather (doesn't want to be a cowboy) #cheech comes from way out of town bc he's on the run from the LAW (shot a man in manitoba but the other guy had it coming) #he lives in old pat's house above the laundry. shares a bedroom with robbie. siels teaches him how to get the blood off of leather #siels falls in love but the LAW catches up with cheech and he has to run further west and old washerwoman pat and his boys stonewall the LA #siels thinks of him still on cold nights. when he can hear his boarders laughing through the walls as they play cards #what life must be like to be young and in love..... (he is literally 28) #also henry is the one room school teacher #cage replies #anon #i love this ask lol thank you so much 🙏😌

[depressedtheatrekiddo]

Picture this.

Stevie on the most fucking perfect killer queen dress you could ever think about, Robbie and them decided on going to see a drag performance and then fuck around a little, dance and be so fucking fabolous and pretty and all

AND

Robin isn't there, she's running late. Why didn't he pick her up? Well, Robs was staying at Chrissy's and she was dropping them. As Steve's sent a message to Chris and she told her that she already left Robbie there, so Stevie went to check out outside.

Robs there, uncomfortable, searching a way to enter the club, their eyes scanning the street, fear on her eyes.

Steve sees there's a man with her, has them by her wrist and is awfully close

What a fucking dumbass

AND THEN BAM

Steve does that shit they did on the Russian base you know, the think that he picked up that thing and hit the Russian guard

But

Now it's her heel they quickly put in his own hand in two seconds and hit the man in the face once they see Robin being touched

And she thinks "not again" because they didn't know what happened to Robin in the Russian base but he can imagine

So he knocks out the man with her heel

"I get you're jealous because she pulls more girls than you would never but there's no need to be an asshole" And then she spits on the man eye "ya infertil ass, next one I'm gonna rip your balls and make me earrings with them"

And then she switches back as their sweet self "Are ya okay Robs?"

"Perfectly fine Stevie"

Robin's eyes goes from scared and empty to fondly and full of love as she looks at Steve. Stevie smiles softly and takes of their face a stroke of hair.

" 'm glad, wanna enter again?" Steve offers their hand and his soulmate takes it as they enter the club, Nelly Furtado singing Maneater as they do

And it's fucking epic

And they rule.

#they/she robin <3 #I'm a believer of enby stevie = enby robs #it just makes sense #of course they give each other their gender when they don't want it #the sillies <3 #ANYWAYS #I think we all agree that something happened to robin on the russian base #But guys #today I'm going to start a new movement #we must all forget about stranger things #like yeah thanks for giving me the characters but now they don't belong to ya (and the assholes on there 🤢🤢) #so #I propose #we all enter in collective delirium and create a Robs and Stevie chaotic series #that's gonna be the new canon. #no more steve from stranger things #but stevie from the squad #the squad because #they're duplicated #and as they have to personalities each other because gender #they're four #you know #(I have a problem I know and I'm sorry) #anyways #dio shit #steve harrington #robin buckley #should we change their names like on arsene vs sherly #or should I say herly #genderfluid steve harrington

[goodmorningnona]

listen okay ive been going on about this for like a week now but i just think it's a little funny that ever since i had to stop therapy there's been a MASSIVE increase in my writing. it is not only a wonderful creative hobby but also helps me get through shit and process my emotions and i dont think that's bad at all! but i am living up to the stereotype of creatives Not Being Okay and i do love that and think it's a little bit funny.

#in fact. the less okay i am the better my work gets and that is sooooo toxic cancel me #i wont fuck myself up TOO bad on purpose de #*dw #but anyway i keep being told by even like GOOD therapists that i know all the things anyway and i just verbally work out the problem w them #listening rather than them give me advice so maybe i should just continue this i might actually Be Good. ........ for now. #and YES i know it's probably a bit of a maladaptive coping mechanism but im autistic im allowed one (1) maladaptive coping mechanism as a #treat. and i dont watch tv and havent been gaming SO LET ME HAVE THIS #i must CREATE WITH MY HANDS it feels so much more relaxing to me than doomscrolling and also silences the developing workaholism by giving #me a Product #OKAY IM SHUTTING UP NOW I HAVENT TALKED MUCH TODAY IVE JUST BEEN WRITING SKFBDJDJ #'im shutting up now' i say on my Own Blog as if anyone gonna read this anyway wkfjeksjs #in my can't stop wont stop era fr #lessons of the hand and the mouth

[coquelicoq]

started on the french dictionary and so far i've only read the front matter and three pages of the A's and i'm already having so much fun. highlights:

the irony of the preface, which basically says, "this is an abridged edition. isn't that neat?", being at least three times longer than necessary

the list of 16 different symbols and their uses in distinguishing senses and introducing distinct usages within the same definition. because that seems like a large number of symbols, i have given myself permission not to comprehend the differences between any of them and just vibe

from the list of abbreviations:

"abusivt: abusivement (emploi très critiquable, parfois faux sens ou solécisme)" 😒 @ french lexicographers: have you heard the good news (of linguistic descriptivism)?

"recomm.: recommandation (dans recomm. off. « recommandation officielle » ; terme conforme à la loi française de 1994 sur la langue)" okay actually @ all of france: get well soon

"abdomen [-ɛn]" do you mean to tell me this vowel isn't nasalized??? sick. twisted. rebellious. can't believe la loi française de 1994 sur la langue has nothing to say about this !

"aber [abɛʀ]" this dictionary tells me when to pronounce the r in words ending in -er. my holy grail. crying and kissing its feet in gratitude

every time the definition includes a word i don't know i can just look that word up elsewhere in the same book i am currently holding!!!!

"abortif, ive adj. Qui fait avorter." told you b and v were related

"abreuver v. tr. 1. Faire boire abondamment (un animal)." this makes it sound like you're force-feeding animals water...on the previous page abondance is defined as "Grande quantité (supérieure aux besoins)" so like i'm getting the sense that you're leading a horse to water and not only making it drink but not letting it leave until it's drunk every last drop in the trough lol

"abribus [-bys] n. m. (nom déposé) Arrêt d'autobus équipé d'un abri" ok cute.

the example it gives for abruti is "Espèce d'abruti !" folks it don't get any frencher than that.

#so conflicted about france's attitude toward anglicisms in particular. like on the one hand i get it and if we were talking about any other #language i'd be like yeah the global supremacy of english & its overwriting and erasure of other languages is a big problem #but this is FRENCH. french! aka the source of the majority of the english lexicon!!!! #hello the normans!!! you made your language the anglo-saxons' problem! chickens coming home to roost et cetera!!!! #if you wanted us to keep our language to ourselves...little late for that dontcha think. ya filthy hypocrites #anyway i don't think the 1994 law says anything about pronunciation (it might idk but it's definitely not the focus) #but i just like razzing the french powers that be over...basically anything i can think of #oh you want me to pronounce this word-final n? that's rich coming from YOU #it just seems so dumb from the outside to be so focused on trying to preserve forever the workings of a highly complicated system #that's not even internally consistent at any kind of layperson-accessible scale #like you think modern french is this perfect specimen when in fact it is a LANGUAGE created by HUMANS and therefore riddled with #idiosyncrasies and vestigial remains of diachronic processes AND THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! #and that means! it must be allowed to continue to evolve! not to even mention! it's going to evolve whether you want it to or not! #because that's its nature! that's how it works! that's how humans work! that's what we need from it and it is by us & of us & for us!! #french #lexicography #lecture du dico #prescriptivism #my posts #i know i said i was going to wait to read the dictionary until after i read all my other books but i was too excited to wait #and i told a friend about my plan and after the requisite 'yeah that sounds like something you would do you kooky broad' #she was like maybe you should read one letter at a time. like in between books or something. so you don't get bored #and i thought that was pretty smart. so i've started the A's. i'm not in between books i just wanted to start immediately #the problem is this dictionary is only 900 pages long so already i'm going psh. 900 pages? i could knock that out in three months #reading only 10 pages a day. it took me longer than that to read the count of monte-cristo #oh the other part i read today was the appendix on pronunciation. which didn't tell me anything i didn't already know (mostly that #there are still a bunch of vowels i can't pronounce lol) but was still fun to read out loud because of all the times i could be like #well i KNOW i'm not pronouncing that right. it says so right here. #like when it says ne confondez pas pâte et patte ! and i'm like okay well i pronounce them the same. so. sorry #my mouth only makes one of those sounds. and they sound identical to me. my b my b

[a-passing-storm]

I literally cannot find one single platonic Gale & Reader fic!

#if anyone has a recommendation please for the love of god send it to me #if not i suppose i must write my own. #i don't really like writing fanfiction that much though. idk i guess for me it's like the writing equivalent of junk food #in that i enjoy writing it sometimes but it never like... it's never new or interesting (for me) and i don't feel proud of my work or... #like... fulfilled? it isn't even like a I Am Enjoying It So I Feel Guilty thing so much as like... i write it because i'm avoiding thinking #about like... my actual stories that i want to write but that require some problem solving. it feels like stagnating and just. #i don't know how to explain it junk food would be the best way like. #i love junk food it's great and i'm not denying that the flavors Do go well together and imo it's good for the soul to eat junk food #but if it's all that you eat you feel like shit and you aren't getting a Balanced Meal and in fact are lacking important things in your die #idk how to explain it!!!! i do think fanfic can be art like. it's not that i don't think it's Real Writing or sm but like... i gotta vary i #ANYWAY all of this is to say that i may in fact write platonic gale fanfic because... the world (me) needs it #dante dicit #gale #gale dekarios #gale bg3 #might delete

[townofcrosshollow]

Idk man if you're constantly talking about your crushing loneliness and feelings of being ostracised and left out when you ostensibly have a bunch of friends around you then maybe the feelings of loneliness aren't the problem there

#i would always feel really empty and distant and 'act out' after our hangouts #and i always framed it as like 'i get the high when i'm around people and then i crash afterwards' #and didn't really consider that maybe sitting in a vc for 4 hours feeling left out while other people have fun is just soul sucking #it was always framed as my behaviour that was the problem. 'you did this and you did that.' so i just kinda internalized that #if i felt like shit it must be my fault. everybody knows i'm the one who causes problems so i'm just causing more problems #if i say that something made me uncomfortable and the response is 'i wont make accomodations and how dare you even ask' it must be my fault #idk. we filled out consent forms in the game i'm really not excited to play and i was reminded that nobody ever asked my consebt #and when i tried to advocate for myself and voice that i wasn't consenting it was treated like i was causing problems by trying to say that #and i saw that as a reasonable reaction at the time cause i had been so deeply convinced that i was broken and horrible #that if i was trying to revoke my consent or even just negotiate it then i was ruining everything for everybody else #that if i was uncomfortable with what was going on i needed to just shut up and live with it #i wish i had realized that and dropped out months ago. maybe that could have preserved some semblance of my relationships with those people #far too late for that now. i'm trying to accept that #and all that effort was wasted anyway #i tried to say once that i was putting in a massive amount of effort and i felt like nobody was recognizing that fact #and i still kind of feel that way #i put hours of mental energy into trying to be enough for people who kept demanding more from me and kept giving me less in return #did that do me any good or did it just cause me 3 months of grief and an empty bank account from therapy? #the problem is that i still wish things had turned out better even though i know i had no control over that #if i had kept advocating for myself it just would have been over far faster. i guess that might have spared me a bit of money #if i tried to talk about the problems it would have just been dismissed with some quick quippy therapy phrase amounting to 'not my fault' #we're already living in the universe where i put all my effort into changing in the ways i was told to change and look how well that went #idk. the attitude was never 'let's fix the problems.' it was always 'you need to fix it.' and then when i did it was #'now there's a new problem. fix that one too. and this one. and that one.' #and to do all that work for somebody and then be told they thought you never even cared about them. man it just stings #idk. it's in the past now. but i can't build new relationships. i'm trying and it's impossible #i try meeting new people and they all suck. i try strengthening relationships with old people and they all get too busy or leave. #the only reason i post these things on tumblr is cause i don't have anybody else to talk to about it #the only person i could talk to has their own shit going on. there really just isn't anybody else #personal

[lecliss]

Oh wow I had no idea the website I'm using actually color codes which episodes are filler or not. Looks like I don't need to find that article then.

#all filler binge watch here i come 👀👀👀 #i did kinda get the urge to start watching the bort dub tho. but i still need to watch road to sakura and then The Last first #anyway RtN was awesome and i love iruka THATS NART'S DAD 2!!!! but i kinda dont have anything else to say about it after the end lmao #i guess if anything i just wish sasori had a line or two. i really wanted to hear jyb's sasori voice again 🥺 #very funny that hidan had like. one scream laugh and that was it. of course thats all the dialogue he would get lmao #im assuming the LT akatsuki are kinda morally gray in terms of the mercenary work they do instead of just outright villains #considering kakuzu and hidan AND SASORI???? were still among them #i doubt sasori's personality changed much and clearly neither did hidan or kakuzu's. but being the LT at all means they must have #i mean. deidara was very fine with the work he was doing to help and tbh seemed more work oriented too #but maybe thats what happens when hes not bickering and arguing and hating uchihas so mucj #cuz he was fine working with. and i assume taking orders from itachi??? #so i guess they do have differences that keep them in a smiliar line of work while remaining the same person at their core #but not like. AS fucked up???? #very interesting to think about who they are in the LT. ALSO IM NOT OVER WHAT CHARASUKE MIGHT THINK OF MERCENARY ITACHI!!! #like. is he secretly worried about itachi's line of work???? did itachi have a falling out wit #*with their parents and left home to eventually become a mercenary??? is charasuke mad at him??? #IS THE FUCKBOY PERSONALITY A COVER UP FOR HIS PROBLEMS WITH HIS POTENTIALLY STRESSFUL HOME LIFE DUE TO ITACHI'S LIFE???? #I HAVE NEVER CARED ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN I POSSIBKY COULD IN THIS MOMENT RIGHY NOE #FINALLY A VERSION OF THEM I CAN GIVE A SHIT ABIUT AND NOT JUST RELENTLESSLY HATE ITACHI FOR!!!!! #AND WE GOT FUCKING NOTHING FOR IT!!!!!!! FUCK #personal