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quosterswampdregs · 1 month

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personally I'd love to see Kei with like the sneeziest, messiest cold ever. Does he try to keep it contained with tissues or thick handkerchiefs, he'd probably need some considering how stuffy his trunk must get when he has a cold

Art done by PupperStar on Furaffinity

Heeeere we go!! Keirie wakes up with a nasty head cold, and it’s made their nose hypersensitive to everything. Normal tasks become more difficult than ever, and they might end up calling for the assistance of their partner…

Loooads of nose/trunk related nonsense with this one, and a lot of desperation and mess too!

Doubling Down.

Kei tugged on their large, African elephant ears at the shrill cry of their phone alarm. It was piercing, louder than usual, and the weight of sleep was growing more and more inviting with every ring. Their trunk snaked out from under the duvets, and began to brush along the nightstand in search of their phone. Its tip shuffled around at the phone’s home button, but as they went to pinch down on it, the phone tumbled off and under the bed.

The sleek, polished surface of the nightstand went foggy from an annoyed sigh: “…damn it.”

Damn it, because now they had to do more blind searching. Keirie’s brows furrowed as their trunk urged away a few blankets, and rubbed along the floor. Hmm, to the left? Those were shoes…that was the safe box, and that had to be a t-shirt they were feeling…what was that??

It felt like a mix between rubber and velvet. Their trunk grasped at it, identifying a handle—oh! That was one of Kei’s dumbbells. They forgot they even had those, going to the gym more often meant less use for them at home…just the thought of having to work out today made them slump their shoulders with a huff.

“h-HHh!!”

Oh gods, that’s a lot of dust. Their nostrils flared, feeling all of the disrupted dust under the bed billowing around their damp septum. The dust would settle again, only most of it had already gotten sucked up into their trunk. It was like breathing in a bag full of craft feathers..!!

“H-hhUEH—!!” In any other circumstance, Kei would be a natural at keeping their sneezes under control. However, this feeling rushed over their eyes and nose faster than they could comprehend. “Hhh-hhHEESHHhhhHHW!!”

The first of many, doubtlessly. Dust exploded in thick clouds from the dormant, untouched nooks and crannies under the bed. Their nostrils gaped and trembled, while a second chorus of hitches drew in more dust towards it. Keirie, laying on their stomach above the bed, opened their eyes tearfully. “SnK-! SnrkK- snF! HHahh-! Add’DTTSSSchhuuw!!”

The phone still rang and demanded the elephant do something about it. It stung their head, they could feel it hammering at a festering headache. They finally fumbled their septum against the screen, and with a snort, the phone was grasped by the edges. With all the mess slowly trickling from both nares, the phone slipped and glided a few times. Eventually, however, a strong snort sucked the surface of the screen to their left nostril. It was masterfully lifted to their bleary eyes to check the time.

9 am. Well, 9:03 now. Their alarm was set this early to remind them of Colorguard Practice this noon. Auditions were coming up, given it was the start of the season, but something deep down was warning them not to attend today.

Once they sat up, it hit them. All of the weight in their throat dropped to the pit of their chest. All of the fatigue in their shoulders pulled their posture down like bags of sand on their back. Their nostrils, once dripping like a loose tap, began to drool in a massive amount of runny mess. The dust they inhaled was being flushed out too, visible in speckles of brown and grey.

Unmistakably, a head cold. A thermometer check in the bathroom confirmed it. Kei looked sadly to themselves in the mirror, and ripped a few tissues from a box on the shelf above them. Holding the tissues up against their trembling nostrils, they blew shakily, wincing at the thick sounds of congestion rushing forth. Dust and gunk, all built up from the morning—their nose stung intensely with the feeling, and they were soon hitching before they realized it.

“hH-! hEH! hHAHh!!” They staggered back clumsily, and aimed their trunk away from the sink bowl and towards the shelf. Their breath wavered dangerously, teetering a few bottles and boxes with the unrestrained energy of their hitches. “N-nDoe!! HUH-UPPSSshhww!!!”

Crash! Clatter! A cacophony of sound flooded the master bathroom as toothbrushes and medicine bottles and rolls of toilet paper went scattering. The mirror was splattered with water and mess, which sadly ran down the surface of the wall. Just as a knuckle rubbed cautiously under their trunk, one of the toothbrushes on an upper shelf rolled and fell, landing in one of their two upturned nostrils—brush side down.

“iHH-!!” Their left nostril trembled and the toothbrush rattled against their inner nose. Their nostrils flexed and it sank, completely disappearing from view. “H-hhhiih! EHH-! HEEISHhuhhw!!”

A sharp, open sneeze scraped their throat, and the toothbrush ricocheted off the sink bowl and smacked them between the eyes. “-dOwh!! Gah!”

Ugh, just thinking about going to practice like this made their stomach turn. Spinning flags through hitches, or sneezing mid-toss! They would send a text later this morning for certain, but the least they could do was start their day a little better than this…chaos.

A little breakfast could help to lift the spirits—it was the most important meal of the day! Only the fridge looked a little on the bare side; a bowl of veggies here, assorted carrots and celery that had yet to be cut, a head of lettuce, some onion…Hey! It wasn’t like they were going to fix up anything too fancy, so a salad would do them nicely. Slowly, they stumbled into the kitchen, hugging close to a strawberry-patterned bathrobe.

“I thing’k I need the greens,” Kei reasoned aloud as their trunk clutched a cluster of celery. Their hands reached In after collecting the various root and leaf vegetables. Once thoroughly washed under a tap, the ingredients were set aside, and Kei took a moment to bring their trunk under the warm water. The nostrils had grown a distracting shade of pink, flaring as water flooded them. Their small eyes watered, and both hands reached up to grab the base of their trunk—it truly took everything in their power not to snort or sniff!

“Stupid ru’ddy n’dose…” grumbled Kei stuffily, who turned off the tap and pointed their nostrils downward. Water came gently trickling out both of their slowly-widening nostrils. The rush was beginning to tickle, and the water didn’t show signs of stopping any time soon!

“Ih-!! It just won’t st-stop runninghHH!!” Keirie gasped, curling the base of their trunk upwards, “hRGGSHHhhhuuhw!!”

Water sprayed into the kitchen sink, splashing up and back to drench their shirt. Despite the exhausted sigh, their eyes revealed a smile—it was practically comedic at this point, wasn’t it? They shook their head and snuffled. “Mngh- snffk-! So sensitive today…headcolds, man…”

Oh, how Amalie would be racing to poke fun at them!

The thought alone seemed to quickly lift their spirits—wasn’t Amalie off work today? After alerting their group to the fact they wouldn’t be there, a quick text would confirm it; and was swiftly followed up with a request to come over. Of course, Amalie joyously obliged.

The salad was finished and eaten just as Amalie opened the door with her own key. In her hands were two compostable plastic bags, filled with goodies and care items. Her tail wagged quickly at the sight of Kei, and the wagging’s intensity seemed to increase after the sound of a waterlogged sneeze. Ah, how golden retrievers were as subtle as a freight train.

“Keirie! You should’ve told me you were sick, I had to run and get all of this on my way here!” She gasped, rushing over to set down the bags on the island, before leaping up to hug her partner.

“I did as soon as I could, I just w-woke ub’p like…a’d hour or two ago…”

“Poor thing, look at your nose…”

Kei’s beady eyes trailed down as Amalie held their trunk in cupped hands. The nostrils were slick and twitching, and Amalie extracted a box of tissues from the bag to begin patting away at the wetness.

“Gosh, gift-giving is your love language…” Kei chuffed out with amusement, looking through the bag themselves. They gasped as they made contact with a bag of de-shelled peanuts and pistachios, too! Among the two bags there were tissues, cold medicine, chills medicine, a restock on pain medication, a stuffed microwavable teddy bear, soup ingredients galore, just to name a few.

“H-hHUH-! Hey!!”

Kei felt their nostrils begin to tremble as they looked back at their girlfriend. She was busy stuffing a tissue into their left nare.

“SuhH-! Stop you’re gunnAH- AHHh—!! hAPPSCHHhuuhw!!” They paused with a chesty sneeze, “…gonna make me sneeze…”

“Oh, my apologies,” Amalie spoke knowingly, pulling out the tissue to reveal that the end was coiled tightly to a definite point. Kei squinted critically, matching the coy smile.

“You’re cheeky—don’t get yourself sick from this, you hear?”

“Promise I won’t…has this big old thing been bothering you?” She gestured lengthwise to their trunk.

“Trust me, I’ve been sneezing since I opened my eyes…”

“Oh what a shame…” sighed Amalie sarcastically. “Who knows? Maybe it’s just a sign to get some out…?”

“Sure, cure my sneezing with more sneezes, sounds logical to me!” Kei rolled their eyes. They took the tissue box from Amalie in their hands, at least to hold it idley amongst their girlfriend’s antics. The twisted tissue rummaged invasively at their flaring nostrils, and they felt tears overwhelming their eyes in moments. They felt so incredibly full with mess, it had been giving them a headache. It wasn’t necessarily a stuffy nose, but rather a constantly runny one. Such a runny nose was utterly shameless in revealing itself before Amalie.

“hhuh…hHEH!”

Amalie’s tail lowered to wag, and she held the tip of their trunk steady in a firm grip. There was something that was so instinctively enticing about watching Kei’s nostrils flex and flare so wide. However, they let out a huff and a violent snort, and to Amalie’s surprise, the tissue slipped from her fingertips. She fruitlessly attempted to reach after it, but Keirie’s hitches were wildly blossoming out of control.

“EHH-! HEHH—!! hH-hAAAtshHHUUUHh!!” Amalie angled their trunk over her shoulder as she ducked. A few plastic dishes went clattering off of the kitchen island, too. Despite this, Amalie could tell with a glance that her partner wasn’t done. For one, the tissue was still stuck in their trunk, barely poking out of their wide and gaping nostrils. Amalie had the sense to let go of their nose, and tentatively duck behind the island themselves!

“HbBTSHhhuh- hAAHtshhHkk!! Heh-HHSHhhuuh!!”

“Bless you—! Bless! Bless you again…!”

“hehH!” Was all they could manage, “hhihs it still in’d my n-Nuh-!!?”

The elephant pointed to their trunk, where the soggy tissue still clung to their inner septum. Amalie nodded, but upon realizing they couldn’t see her, she approached. “Here, hold still!”

Keirie stiffened to the best of their ability. The tissue was extracted with ease too, and their next string of hitches died down into watery sniffles.

“Bless you, Keirie,” she chuckled, rubbing her partner’s drippy trunk with a palm. “Feel any better…?”

“Ehh,” spoken before a violent blow of their nose into a fresh tissue, “kinda, it definitely cleared my trunk, but I’ve got a headache…thanks for the meds too, I was running low…”

“No worries…let’s get you back in bed, then. It should be easier with someone looking out for you!!”

It was barely noon, and yet Kei found themselves getting tucked right back into bed! They unceremoniously flopped onto their back as they laid down, looking at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. Their large ears shielded the beams of light from the nearby window, waiting quietly for Amalie to eventually come around and shut them. Once done, she shuffled right beside her partner, curling up with the small warm teddy bear between them.

“Th…thanks for coming over,” Kei yawned slowly.

“Mhm..!” The golden retriever’s tail began to wag gently, “let me know if you need anything, mkay…?”

“Mkay…”

Perhaps it was the mere prospect of Amalie’s presence that helped Kei doze off, but they soon found themselves drifting to sleep with relative ease. They were doubling down on this cold, and that much was for certain!

#kei the elephant #furquo #snzblr #furry snz #furquo mess #furquo fic #snz art #kei is non binary by the way! they use they/them

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