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deepseavibez · 2 years

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Nerve_29 || KNJ

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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]

Prompt - @casnextdoor

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Part 28 || Forever Falling

Part 29 || Unravel

Part 29.5 - Retriggered

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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;

Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.

Warning - Cheating(Aftermath); Tread lightly, could be triggering.

Word Count - 9.7k

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'Easy.' Hoseok took a sip of his champagne as he leaned against the bar next to Namjoon.

'Why don't you take your own advice?' Namjoon bit back.

'Because I don't want to. Now, simmer down.' Hoseok motioned to y/n as she embarrassed Xan by ruffling his hair. 'She's steering clear of his path.'

'It's not y/n I'm looking at.'

Hoseok turned his head sharply in Kwang's direction, his own jaw clenching as he watched the man have a civil conversation with Ria.

Ria was none too happy with the attention, looking left and right for an out with her shit eating grin and polite head nods. That said a lot – Ria usually never reacted to other people. Unperturbed. Unfazed. Not right now, though.

A sickening thought crossed Hoseok’s mind and the question left his lips before he could think twice. 'You think he's into young girls or just fixated on y/n?'

Hoseok heard Namjoon's teeth clench. 'Fixated.'

Hoseok hummed at the stomach-churning thought of anyone wanting to put their hands on y/n, non-consensually. Especially this man, the one right in front of them, this so-called father figure that she had trusted, bared her heart out to, only for him to exploit her and take advantage of her youth.

'For once,' Namjoon took a sip of his own champagne and shot his fellow 94'liner a side glance, 'I'm glad you feel as you do for her. I don't have to sit with this anger alone.'

Hoseok inhaled sharply at the shock of the blunt statement, but somehow he didn’t feel any…tension, because Namjoon’s tone lacked derision.

It shouldn’t be so easy to acknowledge something Hoseok had worked so hard to keep under wraps or at least had the decency to never speak into existence. It shouldn’t be so easy for Namjoon to acknowledge that his best friend was in love with his wife. And yet…

Hoseok sighed. 'You wouldn't be alone with your anger if it was a known thing, Joon. Everyone here loves y/n. I honestly can't imagine how the maknaes would react if they knew.' He snorted at his words. 'Jungkook definitely wouldn't have shook the bastard’s hand earlier.'

Namjoon said nothing, already knowing that Hoseok veered off course from his initial statement.

And truly, Hoseok was playing it cool, even though his shirt was suddenly too constricting even with the top button undone. 'It's society, Joon. We're allowed to be attracted to our friends. It's what we do with it that matters.' Hoseok didn't know where he was going with his explanation. It sounded textbook even to his own ears, like some sort of TED talk in which he shared his experiences. 'Respect. Boundaries. Limits. They exist.'

Namjoon scoffed. 'You sound like Yoongi hyung.'

Speaking of their hyung, Yoongi was currently behind his laptop and music system, playing soft tunes as the guests interacted. Hoseok offered to relieve him as soon as he needed a break or when y/n called for Yoongi to handle the camera for wedding photos when the backdrop was set up. 'Our hyungs taught us well.'

A necessary silence fell over them as they watched over y/n and kept tabs on the goings-on around them.

Jia was with her girlfriend Ji-hyun, having an animated conversation with the small number of work friends Yuna wanted to share her special day with.

Jinx and her mother Hee-Joo were by the coffee and drinks, laughter etched on their features – Zwahn seemed to have said something funny.

Their family was strewn about doing their tasks to contribute in the best way possible to ending Kenta's and Yuna's wedding day in success.

Jin left soon after the ceremony to receive the catering company and currently delegated the pack-up at the back of the hall. He was adamant about doing his best to make sure the food made it safely to the venue and that the guests would be fed. They were.

With full tummies, and the menu being above and beyond the quality originally intended, the guests busied themselves in their own small groups.

Jungkook and Seon-ho were doing their rounds and seemed to be enjoying themselves, sneaking a snack or alcohol when the interaction required it.

Jimin, Taehyung lingered not far behind Kenta and Yuna, in the middle of the dance floor, keeping an eye on the bride and groom's attire until they were ready to change out of them – if they wanted to. Yuna had asked to change out of her dress straight after their first dance, but decided to keep it on until after the pictures were taken.

Yeon and Ji-ho were not too far from where Sylo and Huru were standing and making conversation.

Hoseok watched as Ria bowed politely and finally freed herself from Kwang and joined Lirrah near the catering table, where she contributed to giving the soloist’s bodyguards the stink eye. Hoseok was indifferent to Lirrah’s new security – after all, her last association with y/n or any of them for that matter, was a little more than a fiasco.

Hoseok turned back to Namjoon and followed his brother’s line of sight back to y/n who was fixing Xan’s collar. When Xan pecked y/n on the cheek, she swatted him on the shoulder and ruffled his hair again to diffuse his mischief. Y/n had deep maternal instincts, Hoseok thought as he watched them interact.

His thought trail was cut short when y/n turned to her left and glanced over her shoulder to note Kwang’s position and only when he made his way to Sylo and Huru which would put him a couple of feet closer to her, she left Xan behind to walk in the direction of the Rayu sisters who stood a few feet away from the entrance.

A sense of pride filled Hoseok. Y/n was smart. He already knew that. But for her to make the moves that she was, she had to be aware. Hyperaware. And for y/n, with her high-functioning anxiety, it would be draining as well as disconcerting.

Hoseok’s fist clenched at the thought that y/n had to be vigilant on such an occasion. It would be so much easier to tell the truth and have Kwang removed from the venue, but y/n would not break Yuna’s heart.

Once again Hoseok was reminded that Kim Y/n was not just beautiful, empathetic, and absolutely loving… she was also tremendously strong.

‘He’s toying with her.’ Namjoon grated the words and Hoseok felt the waves of tension that came off his leader, his brother. Pushing aside the anger that pulsed under his own skin, Hoseok got back to talking. Words. Namjoon and Y/n, words would always be the answer.

Seemingly satisfied that y/n kept positioning herself as far away from Kwang as possible, Hoseok narrowed his gaze on the male next to him. 'What about love, Joon?'

Confusion lined the leaders' eyebrows. Yes. 'What about love?'

There came a time when a person had to get over their own bullshit. And Hoseok was done being mad, he was done pining, he was done being the shit best friend, he wanted to press the play button on his life again. The only way to do that was by moving forward. He couldn’t think of a better way than to firmly face the man he had wronged

'Your love for y/n… Shouldn't it make you… hate me?' Hoseok had to whisper the last words. The potential pain he would feel if Namjoon would ever hate him, ever revoke the right to be in his life, to be his best friend… Hoseok closed his eyes for a brief moment and swallowed the lump in his throat, willing himself to have this conversation, to salvage before anything could be lost.

The undeniable truth was that Hoseok had kept it to himself for too long. He’d suffered, he’d held the pain too close to his heart, but Namjoon of all people talking about Hoseok’s feelings for his wife, made Hoseok realize how almost ready he was to not be tied to them anymore. ‘Shouldn’t you hate me for loving her.’ He squeezed his eyes shut and said his next words with a shaky breath, ‘for, uhm, for… wanting her.’

Namjoon finally turned to meet his gaze then and Hoseok noted the twinge of possessiveness curled in his best friend's lips. Good. He wouldn’t expect anything less. And at least now he had Namjoon’s attention.

Namjoon regarded him silently, then casually clicked his tongue. 'The answer to that is ‘love’.'

'Huh?' It was Hoseok's turn to be confused.

'You're my brother, Hobi.’ Namjoon’s grimace was more comforting than Hoseok would let on. ‘I am in love with her… but I love you. And I know… somehow, in some way, I know you would have never acted on your feelings.’ Namjoon turned away. ‘Like you said, feelings are feelings, we can’t help how we feel – it’s our actions that matter.’

Hoseok suddenly found it hard to breathe, his throat constricting with a raw emotion and absolute relief that he didn’t want to acknowledge in such a public setting. 'That simple?' He tried to be coherent, but he could only manage to croak the two words out.

Namjoon tipped his head forward slightly. 'That simple.'

Hoseok turned back to y/n, focusing on her bright but strained smile as she pointed to Clandy, apparently siding with Bree and Hazey for whatever they were disagreeing over.

Finally, Hoseok understood how and why y/n fell for Kim Namjoon.

'Did you hate me when you found out I cheated on her?'

The question should have caught Hoseok off-guard, but an answer rolled off his tongue easily. 'No.’ Before quickly adding, ‘But I wanted to.'

He could see Namjoon nodding from his peripheral vision. ‘Then all the arguing and wanting to punch me in the face…’

Hoseok finally let out an easy breath. ‘Can’t say you didn’t deserve it.’ He took another sip of his champagne. ‘And I don’t take too kindly to anyone hurting her. Be it you,’ Hoseok swung his gaze back to Kwang, who squeezed Sylo’s shoulder affectionately, ‘or anyone else.’

The lah-dee-dah casual exchange didn’t fool Hoseok. As a front, Sylo would be highly respectful to Kwang because Sung and Kwang were the reason Sylo Surveillance came highly recommended, but Sylo always knew more than he let on.

‘I asked her.’ Namjoon’s voice brought him back. ‘If she preferred you or… wanted to pursue you in any way.’

Hoseok blanched. ‘Why would you –,’

'I had to be sure, Hobi.’ The statement seemed to have crawled from the deepest confines of Namjoon’s heart. ‘She’s so… happy with you.’ Namjoon elaborated. ‘It makes me pause, when you're with her. There's not a lot that can hide your emotions. You're expressive. But y/n, she hides behind multiple masks, her existence made up of layers you have to peel back and find out for yourself and be privileged enough to experience. She’s so carefree with you. And she smiles and she… absolutely adores you.’

Hoseok inhaled shakily, the honest truth of the words breaking him open even further than he had been before. ‘That may be,’ Hoseok agreed, and nodded as he did so, because he knew his connection with y/n was something special, ‘but she loves you. She’s chosen you.' It didn’t hurt as bad to say it this time, it didn’t hurt to acknowledge the God-honest truth that Namjoon was it for y/n. He was not only the one, but the one and only.

Namjoon huffed as the simple fact rolled off Hoseok’s tongue. ‘I know. And I do not deserve her.’ He suddenly sounded resigned. ‘I just wish…’ heavy regret coating his words, ’I wish I had chosen her that night too.’

Hoseok didn’t know what to say to that. Well, he did. But what good would it do to tell Namjoon that he had fucked up. That people make mistakes. That he had a lapse in judgment and thought with his dick. That even Kim Namjoon was just… human. And though Maiya was forceful, Namjoon was physically strong in stature and sound of mind and it was just unfortunate that he was inebriated. So he gave Namjoon an out and spoke about, believe it or not, the less uncomfortable topic. 'So you've known for a long time.'

A curt nod as he turned towards the sound of his wife’s laughter, with the human version of her heart next to her.

'So… love is the reason I'm still one of her best friends?'

The leader hummed as he downed his champagne. 'I cannot forget that she loves you. As do I.' Namjoon raised his hand, an absent minded motion. 'And like you said, limits, boundaries, respect, I believe too much in our friendship to not trust you, I believe so much in your love for her, that if anything were to happen to me, if she had to leave, walk away to find happiness or… love…’

Hoseok would not leave y/n alone.

He knew he could never be y/n’s lover, but Hoseok did in fact, love her. Through making a new life, through navigating a new part of the world, having a friend and never to feel alone as she forced herself to go through a fresh start and leave her old self behind, Hoseok would follow.

‘I didn't think I had it in me to let her leave. When I first told her, it was the worst thing that could have happened to me. Now I know, if she ever didn't want me anymore. You'd go with her. You'd keep my heart safe for me.'

‘Lesser of two evils?’

Namjoon’s lip curled up on one end. ‘Something like that.’

Hoseok wouldn’t call Namjoon out. The fact was that Namjoon was only being so calm and mature about such a thought, because he knew that y/n would not leave him. Not unless he fucked up again. And Hoseok didn’t want to think of Namjoon ever breaking y/n’s heart all over again. She wouldn’t just walk away… she would leave carnage in her wake.

Loving y/n from afar had been Hoseok’s own battle to deal with, but watching the woman he loved, feel pain, internally destroy herself, fall apart in front of them and all Hoseok could do was watch… never again.

Only love can hurt like this.

Hoseok scoffed at the song and shook his head. Too much TikTok. But Hoseok appreciated the trust Namjoon had in him. The trust and the love. 'I can't fucking stand you sometimes.' He looked to the ground and kicked at the ground softly as he said his next words. 'Y/n is right.'

When Hoseok finally looked up, he found Namjoon blinking at him expectantly.

'You make it so hard to be mad at you.' Hoseok held out his hand. 'I'm still mad at you for hurting her. But if any couple can make it through this, it's the two of you.'

Namjoon sighed and clasped Hoseok’s extended hand. 'I still envy you.'

Hoseok and y/n had a bond, a connection, a string of their own tying them together in its own way. And no one, not even Namjoon could question it. In the same way, y/n would never be able to question the bond between Hoseok and Namjoon.

Their bracelets that matched, their rings that each member had, their strong fingers clasping each other, in an unbreakable promise.

‘Orbit was one of Y/n’s first projects. In fact, Braelyn is right over there.’

Namjoon and Hoseok turned their heads simultaneously when Kwang and Sylo left Huru and walked toward the Rayu sisters.

‘Ah yes, I also need to discuss the specifics of the most recent incident that took place.’

Hoseok held onto Namjoon’s hand when he would have let go, trying to avoid an altercation till the last possible moment. ‘Hobi, let g – ‘

‘Noona!’ Jungkook waved Y/n over to where the video camera was set up, Seon-ho offering a bright smile next to him.

Hoseok relaxed slightly and gave Namjoon a pointed look when he glared back. ‘Calm down. She’s fine.’

Namjoon only swatted Hoseok’s hand away and ordered another drink.

The shift between the two males settled some before Hoseok found it within himself to say his next words. 'You know… deep down I don't think we all believe you've cheated yet.'

Namjoon scrunched his eyebrows. 'It's right in front of you.'

'Yeah, but somehow… even with it being all out in the open… and you admitting it… it doesn't seem…' Hoseok squinted at nothing in particular, '... real.'

He continued after a beat. 'It's just not like you. The whole… situation… doesn't fit with who you are.' Hoseok didn't look up at his brother. He wasn't sure what he was trying to explain – either way, he couldn't ignore Namjoon's confession, or the recording, or the physical evidence laid out before him. Regardless of what he believed, Namjoon had cheated on y/n.

'How can you look at her the way you do…' Hoseok shook his head in utter disbelief, 'and cheat on her.'

'Look, if you're trying to make me feel bad about mys -,'

'I'm not.' Hobi's voice held an undertone of hard finality. 'I was angry. Justifiably so. But even now… after weeks… after the fights and the tears and… the healing, I just can't process any of it.' He met Namjoon's gaze and swallowed hard. 'I don't believe you would ever choose to cheat on y/n. Not when she means more to you than any one in the world.'

Hoseok had stunned Namjoon to silence, not only with his words, but with the raw emotion that could be felt through them.

'What's done is done though, right?' Namjoon's nostrils flared. 'We got through it.'

They did get through it, Hoseok thought.

But being a hyung for the better part of his life, being Namjoon's best friend, knowing him like the back of his hand, Hoseok could see that the most logical explanation was put forth even in this situation, and maybe, just maybe, a part of Namjoon himself understood what Hoseok was trying to say.

No matter the circumstances, no matter the psychology behind it, no matter the insurmountable odds and the reasoning of 'the wrong place at the wrong time,' Kim Namjoon would not just cheat on Kim Y/n.

—------

Immediately after the wedding, you and the staff opened up Ballad Hall to its entirety. The newlyweds cut their cake and took their place center stage, the guys touched base with you indicating no new hassles or issues and you had absolutely no choice but to mingle.

And you did not want to mingle.

You did your fair share of putting an outward front, and very rarely was it met with some sort of force threatening to break it down.

You were who you were.

But Kwang's presence caused a tangle of emotions within you. It was a near-painful awareness as he circled the hall, meeting guests, old acquaintances and introducing himself to new ones, as if his presence could make a difference to their lives.

It did to yours. Not the good kind.

You were thrumming with anxiety. It lined your skin and made you fidget with your fingers, move about the hall not wanting to stay in the same position too long, and try as you might, you constantly felt a certain pair of eyes that raked your form from head to toe.

It creeped you out. And annoyed the absolute fuck out of you because were you really this blind in your younger adult years? The worst part was that it made you feel dirty, like you were the one doing something wrong.

'Y/n!'

You turned away from Seon-ho's camera where he showed you some candid shots and found a pair of eyes you actually planned to connect with. 'Lirrah.'

You dipped your head to acknowledge Seon-ho and dismiss him before you pulled the idol into your arms for a big hug.

'I'm so, so sorry.' You didn't exactly know what else to say. What could you say? ‘'I'm sorry my husband's mistress tried to shoot you?'’ Sure. That would go overly well.

'Hey, I know it's not your fault.' She returned your hug with equal enthusiasm and patted your back lightly. 'I'm just glad you're okay.'

When you pulled back, you searched her face for any sign of insincerity. There was none.

She squeezed your arms. 'I'm seriously okay. They evaluated me psychologically and everything.’

You relaxed your body slightly, offering a still guarded but not unfriendly smile. You silently thought about how your first psych visit would go. 'How's the paperwork… and the questions… and the lawyers involved?'

She groaned and dropped her hands. 'Don't even get me started.' Maybe you did something right that night, because she seemed more forthcoming with you than usual. 'I told them that they didn’t need to make a big fuss about it. But,’ she sighed in exasperation, ‘They’ve insisted. Anytime I go out with you, or any of the girls, I have to have my own security detail.'

You felt a twinge of annoyance in your gut – protective instincts rearing its head. It wasn't the team's fault. They were perfectly capable, as a unit and as individuals. But you understood where her management was coming from. It was a business, she was under contract, her safety mattered. And hey, if it kept her safe from harm, that was one less lawsuit for Sylo and your team.

'I think that's better for all of us.' You nodded your ascent as you spoke, to make it seem less of a big deal than you felt it was.

'You know it's nothing against your team though, right?'

Your dark sense of humor made your lips lift on one side of your face as you noticed Xan and Zwahn size up the two males that tailed Lirrah a couple feet behind her. 'They can hold their own,' you assured her. 'I'm glad you could make it though.'

'Have you spoken to Ria or Yuna yet?' You motioned to your best friend who was somewhere behind you next to her wedding cake. Luckily Yuna was too happy to care about any of the complications or the last minute changes.

'I haven't… actually. I spoke to Kenta. I wanted an update about Yoshi. But that was before the wedding. I…' she seemed to be struggling with her words as she tipped up her black bow tie six inch suede sandals and rested on her heel, her clutch held tightly in front of her. 'I wanted to make sure we were cool.'

Suddenly you were less annoyed than you were before. Yoshi was due for two more surgeries then he'd be placed in physio for recovery. Time was a factor in determining his well-being, but he seemed cheery enough when Kae-Lee video called from the hospital to be a part of the ceremony virtually. They sent their best wishes and bantered with the rest of the team before clicking off Kiri’s phone. It was food for the soul to see how well your security team gelled together, personally and professionally. And it reinforced your belief that Maiya Song just got lucky.

As for Lirrah, whatever the circumstances during the course of that night, the heart-to-heart seemed to have had an effect on her. It seemed you had found an ally in the idol circle.

Your smile became more pronounced as thoughts pranced along the back of your brain. 'We're good. In fact,' you grabbed her hand and gave it a short squeeze, 'we're more than good.'

The soft moment was broken when you spotted Kwang at the edge of your vision, walking away from Braelyn. He walked next to Sylo, supposedly playing catch up since Arem Architecture was the longest standing contract of the security firm – as old as Sylo and Kwang's acquaintance.

Dropping Lirrah's hand, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, you offered her one last smile and said something about checking on the food.

Truthfully, you know Jin already handled the food and pack up was well underway in the food aspect of things. But if you had to deal with the game of cat and mouse for the rest of the evening, you would need a breather. You could go to your husband, but that would be stoking the fire within him and Hobi wasn’t an option since he’d taken his place next to Namjoon. As for your bodyguard… you looked across to find Kenta following behind Yuna, as she tugged him alongside her, Kenta deserved a break. Kenta deserved to be happy.

Against your better judgment, before you started toward Jin, you looked back in Kwang’s direction… and had your breath knocked out of you when you caught him staring straight at you.

—------

Seokjin seemed to be in his element. He had his sleeves rolled up, and directed the catering team as if it was his own as they took down the long tables and emptied the array of platters and bain maries.

‘Money is not an object, but the quality and choice of food cannot be compromised.’

It was one of his better statements. As a man honed with experience from his diverse career and multifarious roles over the years, he was even-tempered enough to let a screw-up slide, but he and y/n had given the company ample time and a simple menu to work with. There was a limit to his tolerance, unfortunately for the poor bastard that had to take over at the last minute, Seokjin’s grace didn’t extend this time round.

He ordered food from a local hotel, calling in a favor from the head chef, and whipped up a menu to feed nearly forty guests who were privileged enough to attend the wedding and still used the catering team whose services were originally paid for.

Truth be told, he enjoyed the pressure that pushed him to make it possible and his focus was making sure y/n had less to worry about.

The woman he considered his little sister in every way possible was too capable for her own good. A last minute wedding, with her life crises and possibility of looming threats, now walking around with her head held high despite her abuser circling her…

Jin was not supposed to know. He wasn’t sure if y/n even remembered telling him.

‘Ah, the famous finger biscuits.’ Jin wiggled his eyebrows as the correct term ‘Ladyfingers’ ran through his mind. ‘I need these for the new trifle recipe I want to try out.’

‘Oh, I used to love those.’ Y/n barely spared a glance to the packet he held before she reached for the top shelf where the Lucky Charms were, multiple cereal types already in her own shopping cart.

‘You don’t like them anymore?’ If she didn’t he would have to find an alternative.

Her lips screwed up like she just tasted something sour. ‘I can’t eat them. It was the last snack Kwang gave me before he tried to feel me up.’ She huffed. ‘Like some sort of bribe after so many years to try to get in my panties.’

Seokjin would have reached over to help her, but he could only watch as she struggled to get the box down, turn it over in her hand and place it in the cart. The shock didn’t wear off, not even when her face dropped and she realized what she just said.

He had a newfound respect for her after the slip up, and an added layer of protectiveness flared within him.

As he directed a waiter away from a head on collision with a table being maneuvered out of the venue, from his peripheral vision, Jin caught sight of an interaction he never thought he’d see in his lifetime. Jungkook and Huru were having an actual conversation.

From the looks of it Huru was showing Jungkook something about the maknae’s camera and Jungkook found whatever it was so cool that he smiled with his bunny teeth.

A wave of agitation rushed through Seokjin and for a second he didn’t know what to do with whatever he was feeling.

It was foreign. Jungkook had six hyungs. Not once did Seokjin ever feel territorial about being his eldest hyung, because every single one would always put Jungkook first, always take care of him, always keep him safe and never choose to hurt him – not intentionally. But seeing Huru even for one second being on the receiving end of one of Jungkook’s genuine reactions… Seokjin found it very unsettling.

Moving his gaze away before he was tempted to actually snarl in their direction and lecture the maknae about his naivete, Seokjin caught sight of another male that did nothing to make the taste in his mouth any less bitter. He needed a drink.

Seeing Kwang Jae in the flesh, Seokjin couldn’t help the disdain that coursed through him. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be civil if the man approached him at all.

For his own sake, the prick shouldn’t cross Seokjin’s path.

And by the looks of it, Kwang’s options were minimal, because he had a threat in every direction. Kenta, by the entrance, Hoseok and Namjoon by the bar to his left and Jin at the back of the hall handling the packing of the food.

Jin could be wrong, but Yoongi’s glare from behind his set-up said more than words. Even if his dongsaeng didn’t know the specifics, Yoongi’s instincts were enough to go on. The contempt was obvious. And Kwang Jae strutted with a haughty air of energy that would rub anyone the wrong way.

Speaking of being rubbed the wrong way, Huru caught Jin’s eye as he walked by. He seemed to be heading outside toward the parking lot. Jin clenched his jaw and battled the urge he’d been reigning in since learning of the PI’s true intentions. Looking back at the catering team, he figured they would survive without his direction for five minutes.

'Jin.' The familiar voice was coupled with the arm that currently curved around his own and stopped him in his tracks.

He couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips as he turned to look at y/n. 'I told you there was nothing to worry about.'

She dropped her eyes and mumbled something unintelligible.

Frowning, when she trembled slightly, he dropped his head to accommodate her. 'Hmm?'

'I know.’ He placed a warm hand at the small of her back, giving her some sort of warmth, a small reminder to steady herself. ‘I just needed an excuse to get away from… everyone. For a bit.'

Looking past her smaller form, his eyes briefly connected with Kwang’s, who dipped his head in acknowledgement. Seokjin didn’t return the gesture. His protective instincts turned lethal.

Despite being one of the more even-tempered males in their band, Jin may not react as harshly as the others, but he more than made up for it in his own way – he didn’t forgive easily. Depending on the person, he didn’t forgive at all.

Uncaring of the watchful eyes and his plans before she showed up, he stepped back and did the one thing he knew would make her laugh.

He curled his hands into a loose fist, and made a circle with them in alternate directions, in front of his face, a circle for each syllable that came out of his mouth. 'Kim-to-the-Y-to-the-N.'

Her eyes lit up and she followed suit, repeating the motion. 'Kim-to-the-Seok-to-the-Jin.'

'Huuuuh.' They exclaimed together as they both bent forward, touched their stacked forearms against each other, and broke off to dab in either direction.

They both broke into a fit of giggles at the staple greeting in the drama they both made a point to watch every week on the day of release.

'You always know what to do,' she scrunched her nose at him playfully.

'I know.' He copied her funny face just to keep her laughing.

It was something small, to share a moment with y/n, to remind her in the smallest of ways that she was not alone – not anymore. It was one of the greatest gifts to feel human with her.

'Y/n!'

Jin lifted his gaze to find Yoongi waving y/n over to his set up. He was probably getting ready for his changeover with Hoseok.

‘Hey,’ he held onto her hand before she walked away, ‘we won’t let anything happen to you.’

She sniffed. ‘I don’t want anything to happen at all.’

He couldn’t promise that. Not with the amount of tension swirling in the room. As he relinquished y/n, after placing a chaste kiss on the back of her hand, for good measure he scanned the room and found Kwang with his niece, a stone-faced Kenta next to her aiming a cold glare in the elder’s direction.

Y/n would be fine with Yoongi around her. And Hoseok and Namjoon were not far behind, their watchful eyes never wavering.

All Jin needed was five minutes. Before he could change his mind, he pulled on his coat and followed the private investigator out of the hall.

—-------

Seokjin found Huru at the back entrance, phone in hand.

‘Seokjin.’ The PI acknowledged him without looking up when he got close enough.

‘One-name wonder.’ The snide comment left Seokjin’s lips before he could stop it.

Huru’s lip curled in response, somehow finding the name funny and still not looking up at him. ‘What can I do for you?'

Seokjin bided his time, by sticking his hands in his pockets and making a show of studying the PI in front of him. ‘I’m just trying to figure out if this is how you usually work.’

Huru paused in his typing, but didn't put his phone away. ‘I don't know what you mean.’

‘Do you always start off cold and aloof, gain your client’s trust and then capitalize? I mean you’ve met Yuna, known Kenta… God knows how long… and only now, you meet y/n and decide you want to apply to Sylo Surveillance to protect her?’

‘Did you forget that y/n was the one who called me,' Huru looked up and finally pocketed his phone, 'not the other way around?’

‘Yes. She sought you out to do a job. And as I understand it, that job is done. The ‘bad guy’ has been put away. Case closed.’ Then he cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Huru. ‘Yet you’re still here…circling y/n’s orbit. Why?’

Huru kept both hands behind his back, as he carefully regarded the oldest in the biggest boyband in the world. ‘What are you implying, Jin?’

Seokjin found the whole exchange quite irksome. It may be business, but he didn't like talking in riddles, it took effort, and a bout of patience he only afforded to certain individuals. Huru was not one of those individuals. ‘That you have a thing for my sister-in-law.’

Huru rolled his eyes. ‘Haven’t we already had this cock fight.’ A slow blink. ‘Need I also remind you that she is your sister-in-law because she is married.’

‘A technicality…' for you. Jin wistfully brushed aside the fact, 'yet… you haven't disagreed with my statement.’

‘I’m just trying to follow through with the job’

Jin scoffed. ‘But the job is done. What else is there to follow through on?’

‘No. I'm not done yet.’ Huru casually placed his hands in his pockets. ‘See… with Kenta leaving, and Yoshi temporarily out of action…’

Soekjin knew what Huru was going to say before he said it.

‘... I graciously offered to step in as the head of y/n’s security detail.' Seokjin knew it was coming. The hyung line had discussed it in the pool house after Namjoon had calmed down. They didn’t like the idea, but it was the only available and logical option. They had to trust Kenta, Y/n and hope that Huru didn’t make himself too comfortable. 'And I know in this regard, you have never questioned Kenta’s judgment… I would be grateful if you kept to that.’

‘I trust Kenta.’ He enunciated Kenta’s name. A silent dissent disguised as a simple fact. There was never a need to question Kenta or his methods. The head of y/n’s security detail had been willing to put himself in harm's way and protect her as someone he genuinely loved and cared for. Kenta went as far as warning Namjoon off when he first started dating y/n. Kenta knew y/n, he knew her secrets and was privy to information meant only for certain ears or shouldn't at all see the light of day. There was never the need to put forth an NDA with him. Discretion was in Kenta’s blood.

Kenta was loyal, in every circumstance. Huru, with every passing day, was proving to have personal interests and came across as someone who would place those very needs above everyone else's, including y/n's.

‘Regardless. I think minding other people's business is not in your schedule, Seokjin.’

‘Y/n is family, therefore she is my business.’ His tone held a bit of bite to it. He was very protective of his sister-in-law. She deserved love, respect and so much more.

Huru hummed. ‘You should trust y/n more. She’s not likely to make the same mistake as her husband. Although,’ Huru narrowed his eyes and raised a finger, ’she is very much entitled to make things even.’

Jin chuckled coldly at the audacity. ‘Don't talk about Namjoon like you know him. And don't, ever, use y/n’s name in that context again.’ Jin clicked his tongue. ‘Let's face it. If you had purely professional or even friendly intentions, we wouldn't be having this conversation.’ Jin aimed a pointed look in Huru's direction. 'But we are having this conversation. So man to man, do your job, and as far as possible, stay away from y/n. Do you understand?’

‘Kinda hard to do that when I need to watch her back for…however long it takes Yoshi time to recover. I will be the first person she sees every single morning, the last she sees every night, her work, her visits with her friends, her meetings… her house…’

‘Know your place.' Seokjin couldn't help the reprimand. 'You are not Namjoon.’

‘Ah yes… there is that.’ Huru sighed. Making it seem like Namjoon was a minor inconvenience. ‘Hmm. Aren’t idols supposed to be more polite? More indirect. More discreet.’

‘I don't care about your generalizations of idols.'

Huru smiled wide. It was… disconcerting. ‘I don't have any generalizations.’

Yeah right. ‘Ah.’

‘And yeah, I actually like your music.’

Seokjin couldn’t be bothered about whether the compliment was genuine, so he denied the opportunity for small talk and cut straight to the chase. ‘Just make yourself scarce. Put someone else in the front line if necessary. Because you are not and will never be welcome. And we will make it very hard for you to do your job.’

‘Oh, I know.' Huru’s tone was mocking and his usually bland expression morphed into something sinister when his eyes narrowed into slits. 'But I don't particularly care, though. Remember Seokjin, it's keeping y/n safe–that's the job. And that's all that should matter. Because that is the primary focus. Now, what could happen… is that really worth the time?’

Jin’s teeth clicked shut – he couldn't argue with the logic. The momentum with which he initially approached Huru had fallen flat in the face of his words.

He wanted to protect his family, and by all means he should, but even he wouldn't question y/n's decisions.

She had come a long way in building herself up to be the proud woman that exuded power with the mere click of her heels against the ground, and Kim Seokjin, regardless of his fame, power and standing in her life, would not go against it. He would not doubt her decisions, he would trust her to take care of herself… even in the presence of a threat like Huru.

Seokjin didn’t like anger. He didn’t sit well with it, he didn't hold it quietly like Yoongi. He didn’t burst at the seams in a rage like his maknae. He liked being calm, quiet, in charge in the least domineering way possible. But as it danced pensively across his spine, and he raised his head to stiffly meet Huru’s gaze, he used it to remind himself that he wasn't admitting defeat. 'Do your job. Then get out. But during that time… step a fucking toe out of line…'

'Yeah. I know. You're the almighty Kim Seokjin.'

That he was.

And Huru should be thankful for that… because any other man would have thrown the punch that itched across Jin's knuckles.

—--------

‘... I just wish you would have told me.’

‘You’re one to talk. I'm on my way to rock bottom,' Taehyung sneered at his soul mate, still salty about being left out of the loop.

'You had a panic attack!'

'You were self-deprecating!'

Yoongi turned away from Hoseok and shot them a pointed look. Indicating that they were being a bit too loud.

He didn’t have to actually say anything. The look was enough. It’s not the place or the time. Behave. Shut the fuck up.

'Hmph.' They both turned their backs on each other and took a swig from their flutes.

After a minute, Taehyung mumbled loud enough for Jimin to hear. 'You did good with Yuna's dress by the way.'

'And those gloves were a nice touch. Not to mention the boots.' Jimin shifted to face Taehyung's back. 'And I'm guessing the chain hanging off her thigh was custom made.'

Taehyung smirked as he remembered the specificity of his order. It HAS to be a crescent moon, even if stars are surrounding it. Taehyung peeped over the rim of his glass for his sister-in-law and found her next to the booth talking to Yoongi hyung.

The chain might look like a trinket, but it was real gold and detachable, meaning she didn't have to only use it with her boots.

But of course, he didn't tell her that yet. Spending money on y/n took baby steps.

'Yeah, it was a custom order. I wanted to show her I appreciate her fully, ya know.'

'I'm sure she knows that.' Jimin's arm curled around Taehyung's waist. 'Are you and Namjoon hyung… better?'

Taehyung felt a bit better with Jimin’s comfort but he pursed his lips as he thought about the question. 'Yeah, I guess so. I mean, we talk. A lot more. And it's not awkward anymore. But he's also adamant about giving me…' he squinted and stared off into the distance before using the word he was looking for, '... hope. That I'm not gonna be alone and I will find my person. I'm trying not to feel like a complete wuss for voicing my feelings on Christmas.'

He felt… lighter. Much lighter after falling apart the way he did, but there was also a certain discomfort in being so… open. He wasn’t pining for love, neither was he actively seeking it out. But it wouldn’t be such a bad thing either.

'You're not a wuss. You deserve to be happy. And who knows, maybe you're next in our band of merry men.'

Taehyung didn't want to entertain the thought. Rather he countered Jimin’s statement. 'And how long were you going to wait to tell me that you had someone??'

Jimin blinked owlishly. 'What?'

'Come on.’ Taehyung scoffed. ‘Sneaking out after hours only to show up on time to wake up or at practice. At some point you weren't even around during our off days. Then you were depressed, moody, and ate less. Then you started up again. It's obviously a relationship that's got you all in knots and you have no idea how to let us know.'

'And you know what, it's fair. You need to be ready to share these things with the world. I mean look at the many death threats y/n had to deal with. And then there's the studio, then the band… but me? Me, Jimin? Your Taehyung. I used to think nothing can be bad enough that I had to keep it away from you.'

'But you did.’ Jimin interjected. ‘Look at all these feelings. Anxiety. Depression. Loneliness. I mean sure, I would remind you to look in the mirror, even if that wouldn't help any, but I had a right to know too.'

Even the petty parts of Taehyung felt safe with Jimin. He could tell the man anything, everything, but he kept his pain to himself, because for all he knew, Jimin had already had enough to deal with. 'I didn't tell you because… I wanted a secret of my own.’ His eyes were downcast. ‘My own burden to bear. And it's fucking heavy, but I kept it. Because you stopped needing me. And I didn’t want to need you.’'

Jimin’s eyebrows pinched together in concern. 'I'll always need you, Tae.'

The statement turned Taeyung’s heart over in his chest and he reached out for Jimin and rested a palm on his shoulder.

'Look, I'll admit,’ Jimin pinched his lips together and scrambled to find his words, ‘it's…. childish for me to have kept a relationship a secret for so long. But time just dragged on and when I tried to tell you… the words wouldn't come out and the next time became the next time and the next week became the next and I – ... Eventually I didn't know how to tell you. It was… too late.'

Taehyung could understand that. Sometimes the biggest parts of life were hidden because of timing, because of insecurities, or as y/n would say, it simply just wasn’t the right time.

'Plus, it was quite topsy turvy for a while.’ Jimin closed his right eye as he explained further. ‘We didn't know how to work things out.'

A dull sadness made itself known. Even if he couldn’t be happy yet, Taehyung would never not want Jimin to be unhappy. Regardless of whether he was kept outside the loop and didn’t know the whole story, Taehyung would help them make things work. 'Have you though?’

‘Hmm?’ Jimin hummed, staring off at the dessert table.

‘Have you worked things out with…?’ Taehyung trailed off due to the lack of a name, and simultaneously gave his brother an opening.

‘Oh sure,’ Jimin rolled his eyes, ’we've even chosen our wedding flowers.’

Taehyung didn’t know why Jimin was being so sarcastic so he humored him. ‘Cool, which ones?’

A slow smirk. ‘Wildflowers.’

'Oh yeah,' Taehyung drawled, 'that narrows it down.’

In reality, Taehyung should have been afraid, because as much as he had his band, it was always Taehyung and Jimin against the world. He got through his life knowing that he would always have a friend, always have someone to turn to, to rely on, to talk to, to forget the world or say fuck it. But times changed, and people grew up, more into themselves and sometimes apart… and it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Jimin would still be the first person Taehyung called with good news, or bad news, or even ask him to help hide a body, but they would make their own way through life eventually.

It was just bittersweet that Jimin had a head start.

‘Do you love them?’ Taehyung asked through the thick emotion welling up in his throat.

‘Her.’ Jimin clarified.

‘Do you love her?’

Jimin didn’t answer for a minute, but his faroff stare was enough for Taehyung to understand that she was someone important. ‘I love her. More than anything.’

Then it was simple ‘Then we do what we always do.’

‘Use humor as a coping mechanism?’

‘Yes, but no –,’

‘Scrutinize everyone else's fashion choices?’

‘Yes, but –,’

‘Because that monstrosity talking to Sylo, I think he's related to Yuna –,’

‘Jimin.’ Taehyung tried not to stay on track, because he’d taken note of the dark green pants earlier too.

Usually dark green made… all the sense in the world, but not with the way the man in front of them wore them. Wrong shoes, wrong hair… and he had too much pride in himself making him look more of an ass than his clothes did.

‘Okay wait, I got it, we discuss your superiority complex.’

‘There’s nothing complex about it. I'm Kim Taehyung.’

‘You have a big head.’

‘And you have a small body.’

‘Two halves of a whole idiot.’ Their Jin hyung joked as he brushed past them.

‘Okayyyy,’ Taehyung dragged the word out as he watched his hyung walk by, ‘but my point is…’

‘The guy in the green pants… ‘

‘My point is that we will get through it together. Step by step. And y/n will help.’

Jimin's eyebrows shot up. ‘What will y/n help with, why are we giving her more to deal with?’

Taehyung made a ‘duh’ face. ‘Welcoming her into the family.’

Jimin snorted. ‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I don’t know if y/n would even like her.’

‘She'll give her a chance.’

‘Wow,’ Jimin leaned into Taehyung,’ this all suddenly seems very real.’

Taehyung tapped Jimin on the back. ‘We have to start somewhere.’

Jimin broke out into a deep earthy chuckle, and bent his head.

The sound made Taehyung feel happier than he had all day. ‘What's so funny?’

‘I’m just now realizing that I’m more concerned about y/n’s approval than our hyungs.’

Taehyung thought about it. He didn’t take long to figure out why. ‘Y/n is more open-minded. She’s an anything goes, morally gray type of person.’

‘Yeah, so if she doesn’t like… her.’ Jimin dropped his head against Tae’s shoulder. ‘I’m fucked.’

‘Well… we won’t know until we try. Maybe next week we can all meet her?’ Taeyung prompted to get the ball rolling.

‘Woah, woah,’ Jimin stepped back. ‘Wait, I still need to talk to her, and tell her that I finally told you and there’s just a whole lot of st –,’

‘Jiminie…’ Something was clearly stopping Jimin. ‘What are you so afraid of?’

For a second it looked like Jimin was going to come clean, but he turned away and thought the better of it. Covering his mouth with his hand Jimin glanced again at the catering table and then back at Taehyung. ‘Okay. Next week. You’ll meet her. Alone. And when you… see, you’ll understand better and… we’ll take it from there.’

‘Pinky swear.’ Taehyung raised his pinkie finger.

Jimin looked at the finger, then blew out a breath of air. ‘As long as the same pinky swear, you promise not to keep things bottled up anymore.’

Taehyung didn’t find the need to anymore. Not if Jimin was giving freely. ‘Promise.’

Jimin hesitantly followed through with offering up his own to seal the deal. Pinky swears were sacred. Neither Taehyung nor Jimin would ever break them.

Decidedly giving Jimin a break, Taehyung grabbed a new champagne flute and scanned the hall. ‘You’re right about that man with the green pants though, he’s really bugging me because he won’t stop looking at y/n.’

‘Seriously.’ Jimin raised a brow, unease taking over his features. ‘Why? Is it like a creepy stare or… ?’

Taehyung shrugged, not sure what to make of the situation himself.

‘But didn’t you say that Yuna is related to him. Maybe he has known her for a long time or something.’

Taehyung mulled over the thought. ‘Could be. He just seems familiar for some reason.’

It wasn’t merely the fact that he watched y/n like a hawk. Easily, Kenta, Hoseok and Namjoon did the same because they were so protective, but something about the older male wearing offensive trousers rubbed Taehyung the wrong way.

There was a difference between admiring a flower for its beauty and wanting to pluck it for oneself and Taehyung found it concerning that he would even compare such a small act to something so aggressive, yet it somehow felt… fitting.

—-------

I think you should try the academy again. Do your own training, attend therapy and simultaneously bring in new recruits.

You smoothly transitioned Hobi and Yoongi at the sound system and now worked on setting up the drapes for the set of photographs each guest would be taking with the happy couple.

Kenta’s timing surprised you. It was straight after Yuna handed you her necklace, its clasp coming loose again, so you stuffed it in your clutch which you had slung over your shoulder, when he called you over. Looking at Kiri’s distraught expression you wasted no time in curling your arms around her.

He could have taken Kiri aside and discussed her position with the team behind closed doors, but she had requested you to be present.

I didn’t want to make any decisions without you being okay with it.

You would miss her. That was your first thought. It was your first reaction. Funny enough, your security was the last thought in your mind. These people that you had come to know, shared memories with, formed bonds over some of the best and worst situations – they mattered as individuals. And Kiri was a good buffer. She could be soft and still hold her own against the testosterone fueled team.

But Kiri had demons. In hindsight, everyone had demons and ghosts and some sort of war in their head that threatened their flow of life. But Kiri was… broken. As she would say so, as you would state the same for yourself.

You would never say such a thing out loud, but sometimes life left people less whole, a bit less of themselves, and not being ready to face her demons, let them circle back and haunt her.

Kiri needed a change of scenery, something a bit more grounded, something with a schedule and routine and something she could either like or get bored off, but mainly find the time to visit therapy and find herself.

You’ll always have a place with us… with me. And just because you’re not working with me, doesn’t mean you can’t keep in touch.

In actuality you were… sad. You mulled over the ordinary word. Not as intense as aggrieved, not dejected or unhappy, not gloomy or low-spirited, just… sad. Like tasting your favorite ice-cream from when you were little and feeling nostalgia. Like watching a cartoon that used to play on reruns as an adult. Like looking out into the sunset knowing you were never this old, never this confused and yet still looking forward to what was next. It was like saying goodbye.

‘Y/n!’ Yoongi startled you. ‘I told you not to climb up there in heels.’

You braced yourself on his shoulders when he lifted you without warning and placed you on the floor. ‘Yoongs–,’

‘I mean, we pay people for these types of things.’ He emphasized his point as he stepped on the chair himself.

‘Hmm, is that why you’re up there, now?’ You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

‘Don’t snark at me. Just because I like you doesn't mean you’ll get away with everything.’ He grumbled as he focused on the drapes in front of him. ‘Now you want this color, over that and the LED over this one, am I right?’

‘Yes, please.’ You clasped your hands in front of you and smiled up at him sweetly, just to be a pain.

‘You’re insufferable. Can we get back the way things were before the night you almost got shot?’ He paused then looked down at you, a frown on his face. ‘Is it too soon to make jokes?’

You snorted. ‘No. And no, we can’t go back to how we were before I got shot.’ You shot him a million-dollar smile, eyes sparkling with mischief.

He grumbled something unintelligible and you watched as he finished the set up, directing him wherever necessary.

A childish part of you wanted to sing-song “You looooovvee me”, but Yoongi wasn’t Jin or Hoseok and you wouldn’t push it, even if he did have a soft spot for you these days.

‘All you’re missing is a Katana by the way.’ He grunted as he reached a bit higher up on his tiptoes to untangle the drapes at the end.

A warmth flooded you as you took note of his playfulness. Yoongi didn’t usually play… with anyone. ‘One with a badass inscription or something.’

‘Well, the metal itself should remain untouched, but what would you want the inscription on the bag to say?’

You pouted, trying to think of the many inspiring quotes you scrolled past in Pinterest. But then… Katana’s were sacred. As sacred as tattoos, as sacred as your crescent moon necklace. It had to represent something cool, something you believed in, something that inspired you.

‘Hmm, I’m caught between being inspirational or sentimental.’

‘What are the options?’

Internally you did a jig. You were really having a not so serious, unrealistic conversation with Yoongi.

‘Hypothetically speaking, I could have the Seven Virtues of the Bushido Code on there or just the Korean inscription of ‘Winter Flower.’

You watched Yoongi smirk from where you looked up at him. ‘Don’t laugh at me.’

‘I’m not laughing at you, I just,’ he huffed and placed the last row of LED’s on the drapes. ‘I find you annoyingly endearing.’

You chuckled. ‘That’s… honest.’

‘Okay,’ he hopped down, ‘That should do it.’ He rested his hands on his hips and admired his handiwork.

‘That’s actually a really good backdrop, hyung.’ Jungkook commented from where he and Seon-ho were finishing up with the camera.

That was about it. Yoongi would help take out pictures, and the rest of the time would be about enjoying the bliss of the newlyweds.

Yoongi sported a bright smile at Jungkook’s words until it fell away when he turned to you fully.

Your eyebrows pinched together in concern. ‘Yoongs, what is it?’

He lifted his chin, indirectly telling you to turn around.

When you did, your eyes went wide, surprise tapping you on the shoulder for the second time that day.

‘Dad?’

‘Hello, Y/n.’

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Part 28 || Forever Falling

Part 29 || Unravel

Part 29.5 - Retriggered

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