#smoothing over the connection for the doctor

[magiccath]

Mornings

tenth doctor x reader

Summary: In which you have a calming morning in with the Doctor

CW: a morning-after fic, so some NSFW content is implied, but no smut. Some disrobing later in the fic, but again no smut.

The Doctor didn’t really sleep, he didn’t need to. Then he started dating you, and the thought of you going to bed away from him was unbearable. He had taken to falling asleep with you in his arms, safe and sound. You had no reason to complain, you’d take any chance for a cuddle.

Slowly, he stirred awake, his eyes gently fluttering open. He smiled brightly at the sight in front of him. In all of time and space, he couldn’t imagine a better way to wake up. 

You laid across from him, deep in sleep. The silken blue sheets rested slightly above your hip, leaning your bare legs covered from sight. His eyes traveled up your body, noting that sometime last night you had slipped one of his shirts on. He was torn between admiring you in his shirt and being upset that you had put anything on at all. He settled on the former. It made him smile - you, in one of his shirts. 

Your hair was sprawled across the pillow, and your face was resting peacefully. It was times like this that the Doctor allowed himself to marvel at you. This beautiful being who loved him. Of all the people in the universe, you had chosen him. 

You stirred slightly, pulling him out of his thoughts. Unconsciously you nuzzled into the pillow, searching for comfort. The Doctor smiled and brushed a hair away from your face. Not wanting to remove his hand from your face, he stroked your cheek gently. Without even thinking, he traced the words of a long-lost language into your skin. His thumbs brushed phrases like ‘I love you’ and ‘my love’ onto your skin in soft, concentric circles.

Desperate for you, he moved his face closer to yours, planting slow and delicate kisses on every inch of your skin. The crook of your neck, the rise of your chin, the arch of your cheekbone, the tip of your nose, the smooth skin of your forehead - anywhere he could reach.

The feather light brush of his lips slowly roused you from your sleep, your eyes eventually opening. The Doctor smiled brightly at you, pulling back to look at you. You were absolutely stunning to him in every single way.

“Good morning.” 

You grunted and turned your head back into the pillow in response, still not fully awake. The Doctor chuckled and pulled you into him, his arms wrapping firmly around your waist. You slung a leg over his hips in response, comfortably draping yourself over the Time Lord. Happily, you nuzzled your nose into his neck. You breathed in his familiar scent, hints of cinnamon and freshly brewed tea calming your senses. You could stay like this forever, drifting in and out of consciousness in his arms.

His hands traveled up your - his - shirt, dancing his slender fingers across the bare skin of your back. His touch was warm and comforting, more than enough to urge you back to sleep. However, the Doctor had other ideas. 

His lips fluttered around your ear, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down your spine. 

“Coffee?” he whispered, his husky voice sending tremors down your body. 

Begrudgingly, you lifted your head upwards to look at him. He was so handsome. Up close, you could map every single one of his thousands of freckles. Without thinking much about it, you let your fingers trace the lines between them, connecting the soft spots scattered across his nose and cheeks like constellations.

His hair was messy from sleep, but then again, it was always messy. The Doctor had a nasty habit of manhandling his hair at all hours of the day. As a result, the strands remained constantly tussled and spiky.

“Yes, please,” you uttered, hardly above a whisper. It took everything in you not to get lost in his eyes. Deep pools of chocolate brown that held hundreds of years of wisdom. He didn’t know it, but his eyes could be so expressive. You had spent long enough with him that they could give away his feelings in an instant, even if the rest of his face remained impassive. 

The Doctor nodded and rotated you, freeing himself from your grip. You flopped onto your back, admiring him from the comfort of the mattress. You loved looking at him as he moved about, only vaguely aware of your admiring gaze.

He grabbed his PJ bottoms from the floor and slipped into them, doing a little hop to get them up over his hips. 

You rubbed your eyes and started to get up to follow. It was hard to pull yourself out of the warm embrace of your bed, but you slowly managed to move. You slipped your body off the side of the bed and started to walk. Your legs, still sore from the night before, wobbled underneath you. 

The Doctor laughed, admiring his own work with a smirk. If your legs were still unsteady hours later, then he had done somthng right. 

“Shut up,” you snapped, shifting your weight on your shaking legs. The Doctor wasted no time picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. He couldn’t help but pride himself in the fact that your legs were still wobbling. It was an extremely rare occurrence, but one of the many indicators that you had enjoyed yourself as much as he had. 

“Oi!” you gasped, slapping his back. “I’m perfectly capable of walking!”

He only smiled in response, happily carrying you down the hall and towards the TARDIS kitchen. Eventually, you gave up and went limp. You didn’t get a say in this. 

The Doctor made his way through the corridors of the ship proudly. Still carrying you, he entered the kitchen. It was a messy mix of human and alien, with all kinds of foods and appliances stored in random places in the room.

Gently, he set you down on the counter next to the coffee pot. There was a normal, human one, for you. Next to it, the Doctor had is own, less human, ways of making coffee. You said it tasted like space dirt, so he never made it for you. 

You crossed your arms and glared at him as he mulled about, preparing your coffee. Silently, he scooped the coffee grounds into the machine, pressing the ‘on’ button.

“You suck,” you pouted. He smiled over his shoulder, knowing that you didn’t mean it. 

While the coffee brewed, he occupied himself with you. Positioning himself between your knees, he planted more kisses across your face. Now that he wasn’t worried about waking you up, his kisses were firmer. His lips danced across the planes of your face, peppering loving kisses across it.

“You love me,” he whispered in your ear, nibbling on the soft spot behind it. 

You couldn’t help but mewl into his touch, pulling him closer to you. The Doctor smirked against the base of your neck, biting down softly. He was right, you did love him. More than you had ever loved anyone in your life.

He trailed kisses back up your neck, hovering over your lips. Your eyes fluttered shut, leaning in to close the gap between your mouths. Ever the tease, he pulled away from you. You groaned loudly as he backed away from you, going back to the coffee pot. 

You glared at his toned back as he prepped you a cup of coffee. He made it exactly the way you liked it. You shouldn’t have been surprised he knew you so well, but you always were. It was the small things that reminded you how much the Doctor loved you. A perfect cup of coffee in the morning, your favorite dinner after a long day, a comforting hand slipped into yours on adventures, those kinds of things.

He brought you the steaming mug with a kiss, letting his lips linger for a few moments. You sighed into it, more than happy to revive the affection and the beverage. Pulling away from you, the Doctor planted multiple chaste kisses on your lips, not wanting to sever the connection.

As he kissed you, he guided your arms over his shoulders, your hands clutching your warm coffee against the base of his neck. You rested your head tiredly against his shoulder, the coolness of his bare skin radiating against your cheek. He then urged your legs around his middle, placing his hands on the base of your thighs to support your weight. 

Firmly secured to his front, the Doctor sauntered off back down the corridors of the ship. Without any suggestion as to where you were going, you closed your eyes and allowed the Doctor to carry you around.

He made his way to the bathroom, setting you back down on the counter next to the sink before milling about the room. He shut the door and turned the shower on, allowing it to heat up.

You drank your coffee happily as he slipped his PJ bottoms off, his underwear following. Shamelessly, you ogled at his bum. 

You hid your wandering eyes behind the rim of your coffee cup. Still, the Doctor raised his eyebrows at you, having caught you staring. You blushed and turned away from him. You knew you were allowed to look, but it was still a little embarrassing getting caught. The Doctor giggled and kissed your cheek tenderly. 

His fingers then made quick haste of the shirt you had thrown on last night, sliding it up and over your shoulders. The cold air of the bathroom chilled your exposed skin, sending goose pimples across your bare chest.

You took another drink of coffee if only to hide the scarlet flush that dominated your face. So this is how your morning was going to go?

The Doctor’s hands then slid your underwear down your legs, the action tantalizingly slow. You watched him with wide eyes, your coffee still clutched tightly in your hands.

Once you were disrobed, the Doctor stepped away from you. His eyes traveled down your body as they often did, admiring your entire form. He sucked in a sharp breath, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Then, without a word, he turned away from you and slipped into the shower.

You scoffed, he hadn’t even invited you in. Stubbornly, you remained on the counter. You sipped your coffee silently, awaiting an invitation to join the Doctor.

After a few moments, the Doctor popped his head out of the shower, his eyebrows knitted together.

“Well, get in here,” He gestured with his head, urging you into the shower. 

You giggled and downed the rest of your coffee before slipping down from the counter, eagerly making your way to him. Once you were within reach, the Doctor snagged your arm and dragged you in after him with a mischievous smirk.

#a little spicy #10th doctor x reader #10th doctor/reader #tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor/reader #tenth doctor #10th doctor #the doctor/reader #the doctor x reader #the doctor #doctor who #david tennant #fanfic #fanfiction #doctor who fanfiction #morning after #doctor who bbc

[riaki]

an excuse to touch | suguru geto x reader

pt.2 of christmas event! cw: reader is kinda drunk, u and him have a bunkbed but he always sleeps w u on the lower bunk :3

not proofread

"su— guru!"

he knows that pitchy voice; a lilt to it that tells him you've been drinking. a slur that links your breathy words together like the taut strings of a spider's web that's so imperceptible that it would've been impossible to pick up, unless you were him. because suguru knows you better than anyone else.

you say his name weird, which means you've indulged on the bottle of liquor your next-door neighbor brought you that morning, wrapped in a pretty festive ribbon with a snowman drawn into the cork. "my son drew it," your neighbor had explained, and suguru wonders how good of a parent he is, to be letting his 6 year-old doodle on a bottle of wine.

he doesn't have time to concern himself with other people's lives, however. he has his hands full making sure you don't topple into the christmas tree you'd both worked your asses off to decorate last weekend when you stumble into the living room like you're walking on two left feet, threatening to trip over the cord connecting the soft yellow lights to the outlet in the wall. he distinctly remembers the argument you had last night— you thought rainbow lights would look nicer on the tree, but he liked just yellow. in the end, he'd gotten what he wanted— but there wasn't much to gain when you had stolen his sweater and refused to give it back as a vengeance. and now, he couldn't find it.

"right here," he calls, looking up at you from where he's seated on the couch in your living room. the little tv screen plastered to the wall has a fake fire playing over the screen; he knows you love the immersion, even if your apartment complex doesn't have a fireplace or a chimney.

you make your way over to his chair and promptly fall into his already-waiting arms. he pulls you flush to his chest, tucking your head beneath his chin and letting you snuggle up to him in his lap. his callused hand immediately snakes up your back to slip beneath your shirt, massaging your back. his embrace is warm; soft. and he smells good, like pine needles and something gently sweet, a little smoky.

soon, your hands find his hair, winding a trail up his neck to thread into the dark strands and pull out the tie. before you can move any further, though, a hand darts out to catch your wrist, and the other moves to tilt your chin up and force you to meet his stern gaze, warm like amber resin on the tree bark.

"[name], where's my sweater?" he asks, raising an accusatory eyebrow. just like that, you shrink away, and he smothers the snicker of amusement that threatens to spill out like hot cocoa with a hand over his lips.

you blink, and he watches your eyelashes flutter. they catch the fake firelight, glowing like billowing reeds under a bright sun in lakewater that reflects the summer sky. "i dunno." a blatant lie; obviously, you do know, because a bit of the red string has tangled in your hair. it was crocheted for him by a friend; you'd think a doctor would have good needle skills, but operating on a patient might be easier than operating on a DIY crocheting kit and a bundle of old string. nevertheless, he took the ugly christmas sweater and cherished it; the scent of cigarette smoke and faintly sterile tiles that clung to it.

but suguru was pretty sure that would soon be replaced by the scent of you, if you kept it much longer. not that he minded, of course.

"i, uh. dropped it. in the fire." you said bluntly, stubbornly weaving your hands into his hair and pulling out his hair tie insistently. a few strands caught; even as drunk as you were, you still took the time to smooth out the tangles so you didn't accidentally rip out a patch of his hair. crude as it was, suguru appreciates little things about you like that. not the fire part, though.

"you dropped it in the fire." he echoes, raising an eyebrow. it feels condescending in a very suguru (read: affectionate) way, so you look away, lower lip sticking out. he thinks that just makes you cuter, though; you look like something straight out of his dreams. he can barely bring himself to be irritated.

"um, yeah."

"so.. it burned up?"

"yes."

"you don't have it anymore."

"no, i don't."

"the fire isn't real," he reminds you quietly; softly if you strain your ears.

"but it's so warm over here. and nice, and cozy. what else could it be?" you protested, flailing your arms as if hitting him would force him to reconcile with your beliefs. suguru just opts to lean away from you, an amused and easy smile on his lips. like he's looking at you in adoration; like you're still the one who was molded from clay to fit in his arms even though you supposedly 'burned' his sweater up.

"not sure," he hums, watching as you stand up on two shaky legs like a newborn doe away from its mother's side; the soft glow from the light of the christmas tree gently illuminating your frame. he wishes he could tug you back by the wrist and kiss you breathless, run his hands over you ever lovingly. "you're just like my personal little space heater." he chuckles, soft smooth and melodic, and it snaps you from your tipsiness as you glance back over at him. “fools me into thinking the fire’s real.”

his hair is loose, tumbling over his shoulders and framing his face like a renaissance prince under the soft light; the brown of his eye shines a gentle caramel, soft and smooth as butter and syrup. there’s an easy smile that curves his lips up; he looks unfairly handsome. he thinks he can catch sight of his reflection in the void of your pupil; it looks like there's a birdnest on his head. he frowns, reaching a hand up to muss the tangled black strands. the windows in the living room are vignetted by a frosted glass, a cold world of white waiting outside. it's almost enough to make him shiver, but here, in the warmth of your presence, the snow melts away with the sunshine of your smile.

his fingers catch in his hair and he lets out a pained grunt. he's straightening his bangs when he looks up from his comfy seat on the couch; you're across the room, sitting on the soft wool carpet. there's a stain on the bundles of fluff, constantly hanging over the both of your heads to remind you of how you'd been enjoying a shared cup of hot cocoa with candy cane chunks when your nasty feline sauntered over and promptly jumped into your lap yet again, knocking over the mug and pouring its terribly sweet and sticky contents onto the wool. it had haunted suguru's domestic household nightmares for days after. your evil cat is curled up in your lap, fluffy mitten paws tucked beneath its head as it naps, and suguru doesn't like the flare of jealousy that springs up in his gut.

you catch the look of disdain on his face and shoot him a lazy smile, tilting your head. it's an invitation if he's ever seen one-- deserved, he thinks to himself. that should be him with his head in your lap, your hands in his hair, smoothing out each individual knot, gently massaging his scalp in the way you knew he loved.

...

he shakes his head and stands, brushing the lint (and cat fur— always a pest) off his sweats and saunters over to you; there's that familiar gait in his step from always walking hunched over during his earlier years of youth. sometimes, you'll build a little pillow fort on your bunk bed and settle in his arms between his legs and listen to him tell you stories from a time that seems so long ago but so fresh like new mint leaves in his memory. he'll play with your clothes, bury his nose in your hair and breathe in the scent of home and something like apples and cinnamon in your shampoo. those fun little story nights are always enjoyable, only because he has the best audience.

he squats down, balancing his elbows on his knees as he peers down at you. your cat in your lap lifts its head, looking like the very dictionary definition of judgmental as it squints at suguru. you just laugh, like silver bells clear in a snowstorm, parting the howling wind as if it's the red sea. paving a path straight through the center of his heart like some cursed cupid's arrow.

he doesn’t mind, though, when you scoot your cat off your lap and open your arms wordlessly. he scoots a little closer before settling into you, back flush against his chest as your arms lock around his waist. you rest your chin on his shoulder and he can’t help the rush of butterflies in his stomach; suguru’s never been the type for this sort of girlish, giddy love. but you always bring new things to the table, don’t you? he loves that about you.

suguru settles into your arms, tilting his head to intercept the kiss he knows you’re about to plant to his cheek to instead meet your lips with his, and he swallows and relishes the little surprised gasp that leaves you when he does. a moment later, he hears a pretty little giddy laugh, and he can’t fight the smile that spreads over his lips.

"you're so soft," he whispers, and it's much more exhausted than he thinks it has any right to be, on such a comforting night like this when your laugh smells of sweet liquor wrapped in chocolate and you serve as good of a sweater as any clearance sale item could.

and soon enough, your fingers slide into his hair, separating soft dark strands like you're organizing a collection of seashells. it takes him a while to notice, but he soon realizes you're braiding his hair. the wind howls outside and the fake fire doesn't provide any heat, but your gentle touch and warmth feel like a cozy throw blanket hanging around his shoulders. and he feels okay now; with the way you run your fingers through his hair, delicately gathering the strands from his hair and running a thumb down the length to smooth the knots, weaving them together like a natural crown of holly flowers.

you brush a stray strand from the nape of his neck, and he shivers when your fingertips brush against the tip of his ear. he can't help but smile when you notice the goosebumps on his bare arms and free one hand to reach for his, tangling your fingers together while you untangle the mats in his hair. it's far too cold for him to be wearing that simple, worn white cotton shirt, but he doesn't mind if you'll be the one to keep him warm through this cold season.

it's all fine and dandy until he speaks up again, when you're nearly falling asleep over his head and your arms drape over his chest, toying with the sapphire necklace around his neck. your little cute breaths tickle the top of his head; you've finished the braid. it's a little messy and stray hairs stick out here and there— but at least you didn't settle for pigtails.

when he speaks, it's not directed towards you, though— he's speaking to your cat, with a stern tone you only recognize as the one he uses with you whenever your clothes end up on his side of the drawer or when his jewelry (or hairties) go missing.

and when you open your eyes groggily after suguru shifts to sit up, feeling the dreary loom of a mini hangover after you fall asleep in his arms tonight— you're blessed with the sight of your beloved house pet— a shredded chunk of tacky fabric from suguru's sweater in its mouth, and the death glare that you can only imagine contorting your handsome boyfriend's face.

needless to say, your cat will be nowhere around the two of you when you decide to share a therapeutic cup of hot cocoa again this time.

my (riaki) stuff. don’t repost and/or plagiarize !

#i’m gonna fail my tests. #STOP THIS IS SO BAD BC ITS SO RUSHED IM SORRY 😭 #all i’ve been thinking about recently is aki so sorry if it’s ooc #i’ll try to fix that for the next ones #catoru cameo??? maybe?????? #geto suguru x you #getou suguru x reader #geto suguru #geto #suguru geto #jjk x reader #jjk x you #suguru geto x you #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto x y/n #geto x reader #geto x you #geto x y/n #suguru x reader #suguru x you #geto suguru x reader #jujustu kaisen #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk geto #riko’s christmas event #stop bc what even is this

[ohara-n-brown]

Fuck it imma start weaponizing Autistic stereotypes like they're swords.

You want to infantalize me? Psyche I'm Sherlock Holmes now. You're Watson. How does it feel? 🤨

You wanna overanalyze my Autistic traits?? Okay I'm House now. I'm smarter than you. I'm psychoanalyzing you back. Since we're playing doctor now. Let's unpack YOUR neurotype shall we

Walking around like a completely unmasked Wednesday Adams. No expression whatsoever. Laughing at a joke? Never heard of it. Main Character syndrome? I don't care. I'm weird? Obviously. I'm cringe? A ridiculous concept made for shallow people.

If that's what you think we are, I'd rather that over the infantalizing overanalyzing bullshit ngl

Cause in Sherlock and House everyone around them seems to understand that this person doesn't communicate like them so just let them be as they are

Like it'll always baffle me that neurotypicals will wrongly have all these autistic characters who are savant like geniuses with asshole egos and no time for your bullshit

And then they get around actual autistic people and never consider 'hey maybe this person is smarter than me. hey maybe this person just doesn't find me amusing. hey maybe this person is really observant, or really talented, or knowledgeable, or monotone BECAUSE THEY'RE AUTISTIC'

It's like they can't put two and two together. It's like they cannot connect the two.

Its like autistics only have the potential to be funny and smooth and cool on TV. No more.

I'm reclaiming the narrative. I'm Sheldon Cooper now. You will listen to my infodump. You will listen to my bad jokes!!! Bazinga bitch!!!! 😩

#this is a rant #i know this is a whole lot of nothing but I needed to get it out #but I'm so so SO serious #like /s #i relate to Sheldon a lot actually #I feel like I'm constantly thinking 'you all are not making logical sense but okay' #neurodivergent #actually autistic #audhd #autism #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #actually audhd #actually autism #unmasking #neurodiverse #neurodivergence #actually neurodiverse #tis the tism

[byersbootyshorts]

hi! can you please write a fic about clingy bf spencer reid? i would love it! thank you!!

Just a Phone Call Away (S.R.)

Spencer's knee injury means he's stuck at Quantico while the rest of the team go off to hunt an unsub. And he does not cope well with being away from you for long.

Word Count: 1,986

Warnings: clingy!s5!Spencer, gn!reader, fluff, the tiniest bit of angst, gun shot

this was such a good request omg

“Reid, I’m sorry but you’re staying here,” Hotch ordered. Spencer’s face contorted into an annoyed expression.

“Hotch, come on. I’m fine,” he argued. “The doctor said if my knee didn’t hurt I could still fly.”

“I don’t care what your doctor said,” Hotch said sternly. “You are not getting on our jet with your knee in a brace. You’ll stay here and help Garcia. That’s an order.”

Spencer slumped in his chair, defeated.

“Spencer, I’ll be fine,” you urged him. You were about to get on the jet and leave Spencer in Virginia. Since the two of you had started dating you’d never been apart for long. Being on the same team made that possible. But now that Spencer was being forced to stay behind while you left to hunt an unsub, he realised just how much he dreaded being away from you.

“Yeah, but what if you get hurt?” he asked.

“We’ve been in the field together more times than I can count. Why the sudden concern for my safety?” you replied.

“Because I won’t be there this time. If you get hurt there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Spence, I’m not a child. I can handle myself,” you smiled and pulled him into your embrace.

“I’ll miss you,” Spencer mumbled into your shoulder.

“You’re so soppy,” you teased him. “But I’ll miss you too. And remember, I’ll just be a phone call away.”

Spencer watched miserably as the jet took off and flew you far away from him. He didn’t realise how much of a co-dependent person he was until he met you. The thought of you potentially being in a life threatening situation while he sat uselessly with his knee in a brace made him feel physically sick.

The wheels of the jet had barely left the runway when your phone chimed. You picked it up and chuckled when you saw the message.

I love you. Please be safe. ❤️

You quickly typed a reply.

Only if you promise to rest your knee. I love you too <3

Emily noticed you smiling down at your phone and asked, “Is that Spencer?”

“Yeah,” you responded. “We’ve only been apart for 30 minutes and he’s already worried about me.”

“He’s clingy, huh?” Emily said.

“Incredibly.”

The flight wasn’t long and soon you, JJ and Rossi were settled in a cramped conference room in the local police department. As usual, Hotch had called Garcia on the plane to give the briefing. This time Spencer sat beside her on the small laptop screen. Hotch had told you all what to do when you landed and instructed Spencer to work on victimology back at Quantico.

When you saw his name pop up on your phone you assumed he’d found some connections between the victims. You put your phone on speaker so your teammates could hear before answering.

“Hey, you got something?”

There was a pause before Spencer spoke.

“Uh, no, not yet. I was just calling to make sure you landed safely.”

“It was a very smooth landing, Reid. No complaints,” Rossi said and JJ laughed. Your face blushed red and you grabbed your phone to turn it off speaker.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise I was on speaker,” Spencer’s voice crackled over the line.

“It’s ok. It’s just me now,” you said, walking out of the conference room. “Did you really just call to see if I got here ok.”

“Of course I did,” Spencer said as if it was obvious. “What if the jet crashed? I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. Spencer was one of the most rational people you knew. But when it came to you he was so illogical it was laughable.

“Well, Spence, I’m fine,” you told him. “Listen, I have to go. Call me if you find anything.”

Spencer said goodbye and you hung up.

Hotch had sent you and Rossi to interview one of the victims families later that day. You were in the middle of listening to the mother of the victim talk about her son when your phone started ringing. When you saw that it was Spencer you excused yourself and stepped out into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” you said quickly, not wanting to miss much of the interview.

“Hey, can you talk?” Spencer asked plainly.

“Uh, not really,” you said confused. He knew you were working. Why would he think you could talk? “Why? Do you need something?”

“No, I just wanted to hear your voice,” he said softly. “But it’s ok if you’re doing something.”

“Sorry, Spence, we’re interviewing a victim’s family,” you apologised. “But I’ll call you later. I promise.”

“Ok, I love you.”

“I love you too. Bye,” you said before hanging up and going back to the interview.

You got to the hotel the team were staying at pretty late that night. You had just showered and were about to call Spencer as you promised when your phone rang. Of course it was Spencer.

“Hey, I was just about to call you,” you said when you answered.

“Oh, good, you’re ok. It was getting late and I was starting to get worried,” Spencer quickly rambled.

“Oh my God, please stop worrying about me,” you said a little sharply. “I just lost track of time at the police department. You don’t have to call me every two seconds.”

“I’m sorry,” Spencer said with a small voice. “I can’t help it.”

You sighed to calm yourself down. It was cute that he cared so much about you. But the constant calls were starting to wear you down a little.

“I know. And I’m sorry too. I should be more appreciative that you worry about me.”

You were both silent for a moment. You regretted snapping at Spencer. You knew how clingy he was after all. A few seconds passed before Spencer broke the silence.

“Can we switch to facetime?” he asked. You raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, but why?”

“I want to see you,” he explained.

You hastily switched the call to facetime and his face appeared on your screen. It was dark aside from the dim glow of the lamp beside his bed. His hair was pulled back and still slightly damp.

“You happy now?” you said, smiling at him.

“Very,” he replied.

Your mouth opened into a wide yawn and Spencer’s face dropped.

“You’re tired,” he observed. “Do you want me to go?”

“No, it’s ok. It’s just been a long day,” you replied. But as you spoke you yawned again. “Ok, maybe I am tired,” you admitted.

“Can we stay on facetime when we fall asleep?” Spencer asked shyly. You let out a short giggle at his suggestion.

“You really can’t live without me, can you?” you asked with a smirk.

“Nope,” Spencer said. “And I’m not ashamed of it.”

You set your phone on the pillow beside you and drifted off to sleep. Spencer stared at you long after you’d lost consciousness, just listening to your breathing and imagining you were really there beside him.

The next day Spencer didn’t stop incessantly calling you. He called you in the morning. He called you when you were delivering the profile. He called you when you were driving to a suspect’s house. You tried your best to see the good in it but if he unnecessarily called you one more time you were afraid you were going to lose it.

You and Emily had just arrived at a suspect’s house. This man had been spotted near two of the crime scenes just minutes before the murders. You were betting he was your unsub. You knocked on his door but no one answered. That’s when Emily noticed a shed around the back of the house. You followed her towards it but stopped abruptly when your phone started vibrating in your pocket. You swore under your breath when you saw Spencer’s name on the screen. You told Emily you’d only be a minute and answered your phone.

“Spencer, I love you but please for the love of God do not call me for the next few hours,” you snapped.

“Actually, I was calling to tell you you’re definitely at the unsub’s house. His prints match the ones found at the crime scene,” Spencer said bluntly. You could hear the offence in his voice.

“Oh,” you said, cursing yourself for letting your anger get the better of you. “Well, thanks. Sor-,”

You were interrupted by a gun shot that made you jump out of your skin. You quickly blurted out, “Spence, I have to go,” before hanging up.

It turned out the gun shot came from Emily’s gun. The unsub had snuck up on you while you were on the phone and was about to shoot you before Emily pulled her gun on him. Now, you were on your way back home. The case was closed. You’d tried calling Spencer multiple times before getting on the plane but he wasn’t picking up. You figured he was angry at you for losing your temper.

When you finally touched down at Quantico the first thing you did was go looking for Spencer. You didn’t find him at his desk so you headed towards Garcia’s office.

“Hey, have you seen Spencer?” you asked when you entered. “I’ve been calling him but he hasn’t been picking up.”

“Oh, you didn’t hear?” she said, surprised.

“Hear, what?”

“Well, when Spencer heard that gun shot over the phone he didn’t know if you were ok,” Garcia began. “He started panicking and the idiot got up without his crutches and fell over.”

Your jaw dropped. “Is he ok?” you questioned.

“I took him to the hospital and the doctor said he should be on bed rest for the next few weeks, but he’s fine,” Garcia explained. “He probably hasn’t called you because he’s sleeping.”

“Ok, thanks Penelope,” you said, relieved to know Spencer was ok.

You got to Spencer’s apartment as fast as you could and used the key he gave you to let yourself in. You headed straight towards his bedroom and opened the door just a crack. When you peeked inside you saw Spencer lying sprawled out on top of the covers, his knee covered in a new bandage and brace. The steady rise and fall of his chest told you that he was in fact sleeping as Garcia had said.

You quietly made your way to the bed and sat down beside him. Leaning down, you placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and whispered his name.

He sniffed and stirred from his slumber. When he registered who was sitting next to him his eyes immediately lit up.

“You’re back,” he croaked, sleep still evident in his voice. “Are you ok? I heard a gun shot.”

“I’m fine,” you told him. “Never better.”

Spencer grabbed your hand so tightly he cut off your blood flow.

“I was right when I said you can’t live without me,” you laughed.

“Being away from you almost killed me,” he replied.

“Well, you got that right. You got put on bed rest.”

Spencer suddenly buried his head in your chest. “I missed you so much,” he murmured into your shirt.

“I missed you too, baby,” you said, kissing his forehead once more.

Spencer’s arms wrapped so tightly around you, you could barely move. He practically glued himself to you. You had planned on taking a shower and changing out of your work clothes but he had you in such a chokehold that all you could do was lie down beside him as he wrapped himself around you even more. He breathed in your scent and immediately started to melt into you, as though all the tension in his body vanished in your presence.

“Please, don’t ever leave me again,” he said.

“I won’t. I promise,” you whispered, stroking his hair as he fell asleep, happy to be in your arms again.

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #clingy!spencer reid #gn!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid gifs #criminal minds #fluff #fluff oneshot #fluff fic

[jiihu]

너랑 나 — 𝐲𝐮 𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧

﹅ summary — meeting jimin at your birthday party your mom threw for you, you found yourself instantly infatuated with the older woman.

﹅ content — age difference (reader is 18, jimin is 27), slight power imbalance, doctor!jimin, slight angst

﹅ word count — 2.6k

﹅ a/n — a little bit of inspiration from call me by your name! jimin is sort of ooc here, but i wanted her to seem more “formal” ^^

you trudged up the stairs, away from "your" party, which consisted of your parent's friends, and not a single one of yours. you let out a relaxed sigh as the bass of the music became less and less noticeable in your chest. pushing open the door to your bedroom, you let your foot close it behind you and fell onto your bed.

"this is not how i expected my 18th birthday to go," you groaned into your pillow, grabbing your phone and turning on your side, fully expecting to spend the rest of your day here and not downstairs. your parents wanted you to make connections with some of the people for your "future", but that was the last thing on your mind today. not only did you not want to spend your evening with tens of middle-aged adults, but you also wanted an escape from reality, without having to think about your future too much. at least for today.

while you were lost in your thoughts, you heard the loud rev of an engine, and you stood up from your place on the bed. leaning over your nightstand, you peered through the blinds and watched as a sleek, matte black sports car pulled into your driveway. you stared intently at the driver's side door as the purr of the engine rattled in your chest, reminding you of the bass faintly vibrating from downstairs.

your fingers were frozen in place as you held the blinds open, watching as a platinum-blonde woman stepped out of the car, running a hand through her hair before tying it in a ponytail. you felt as if you were starstruck, watching her adjust her clothes, before she laughed, removing the stethoscope from around her neck. you were almost in a trance-like state, and although you couldn't hear her laugh, you imagined it was the most beautiful sound you'd ever heard.

it seemed as if she'd just left her shift at the hospital, still having on the same scrubs and work shoes that nurses wore. once she felt that she was presentable enough, she reached into the backseat and pulled out a light blue gift box with a white bow on top, using her hip to nudge the door closed.

heart pounding, you stumbled backward, the sudden movement causing the blinds to drop back into place. your mind raced, trying to process the unexpected arrival of this captivating woman. who was she? what was she doing here? and most importantly, why did she have a gift for you?

curiosity tangled with apprehension as you peeked through the blinds once more. the woman had begun made her way to the front door, her steps powerful, yet graceful at the same time. with each passing moment, your intrigue grew, overpowering your initial shock.

you debated whether to remain hidden or confront her. the desire to meet her moved you forward, and with a sudden surge of courage, you hurriedly left your room and padded down the stairs. the distant sounds of laughter and conversation from the party came and left as your mind focused in on the enchanting woman at your doorstep.

you reached the front door just in time to see her positioned to knock, her hand hovering in mid-air. it was now or never. swallowing your nervousness, you opened the door, revealing a surprised expression on her face.

"hi," she said, her voice as smooth as silk. "i'm dr. yu. i apologize for my tardiness, but i was told there's a very special girl here having a party for her very special birthday?"

you couldn't help but be captivated by her piercing gaze and the genuine warmth in her smile. "yes, it's my birthday," you replied, feeling a surge of excitement and curiosity at her gift.

dr. yu's eyes sparkled with amusement. "happy birthday!" she exclaimed, holding out the gift box she had been clutching. "i know we haven't met before, but i'm a close friend of your parents. i've heard a lot about you, and i thought it was only right to put a face to the name.”

you became more flustered at her words as you accepted the gift. "thank you," you stammered, caught off guard by the unexpected gesture. "that's very kind of you."

dr. yu's smile widened. "it's the least i could do. birthdays should be special, and i wanted to make sure yours didn't go unnoticed."

as you stood there, speaking with dr. yu, a sense of familiarity washed over you. perhaps this encounter was the escape you had longed for, a break from the monotony of your party. a break from the constant concern over your future. you found yourself drawn to her presence, yearning to know more about her.

with a sudden burst of spontaneity, you mustered the courage to invite her inside. "would you like to come in? it's quieter inside, away from the crowd," you offered, hopeful that she would accept.

dr. yu's eyes crinkled with a mixture of surprise and delight. "i'd love to," she replied, a hint of curiosity in her voice. "lead the way."

you shuffled through the crowd, hoping to quietly lead her away from the seemingly ever-growing party to her room. as the stairs were in your line of sight, your dad stepped in front of you.

"y/n! i see you've met jimin." jimin eyes snapped from the back of your head, and looked over to your father.

"she really is a lovely girl. you've raised her well," jimin's dark eyes did a once-over of you, making you feel slightly exposed, while simultaneously making your heart race.

your heart skipped a beat as jimin's gaze lingered on you. the intensity in her eyes sent shivers down your spine, a mix of excitement and nervousness flooding your senses. you tried to maintain your composure, feeling slightly flustered as they both looked at you expectantly.

"thank you," you managed to reply, your voice betraying a hint of unease. it was as if jimin's presence had the power to unravel your carefully constructed facade, leaving you vulnerable and exposed.

your father's smile widened, oblivious to the tension between you and jimin. "i'm glad you two met. jimin here is a renowned neurosurgeon at the hospital. she's been a close friend of ours for a long time."

you struggled to find the right words, your mind racing to process the information. jimin, a neurosurgeon? the charming woman who had appeared at your home in an expensive sportscar was not only captivating but also held a respected position in society. the realization only deepened your sudden fondness for the woman.

"i'm honored to meet you, dr. jimin," you said, your voice filled with genuine admiration. "thank you for the birthday gift. it means a lot."

jimin's eyes softened, her gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. 

"the pleasure is mine," she replied, her voice laced with a subtle undertone of something you couldn't quite decipher.

jimin's words hung in the air, leaving you with a sense of intrigue and curiosity. there was something about her presence that captivated you, a pull that drew you closer. as your father excused himself to attend to other guests, you and jimin stood there, locked in a silent exchange of emotions.

feeling a mix of nervousness and boldness, you gestured for jimin to follow you. leading her through the bustling party, you managed to navigate the sea of people and find your way back to the staircase. the distant sounds of laughter and music gradually faded into the background as you climbed the steps, guided by the dim glow of the hallway lights.

reaching your room, you pushed the door open and stepped inside, inviting jimin to enter. the room brought you back to your senses, making you feel calmer than before, like a sanctuary away from the chaos downstairs. you motioned for jimin to take a seat on your bed while you settled into your desk chair, facing each other.

the atmosphere felt charged with anticipation as you observed jimin. her blonde hair sat on her shoulders, framing her face and accentuating her features. her eyes sparkled with intelligence and warmth, and the subtle curve of her lips hinted at a gentle smile.

"dr. yu," you began, breaking the silence, "jimin. i didn't expect my birthday to turn out this way, but i'm glad you decided to come. it feels like a nice break from everything."

jimin's smile widened, her eyes never leaving yours. "life has a way of surprising us, doesn't it? sometimes the most memorable moments come from the unexpected."

you nodded in agreement, a growing sense of warmth bubbling up in your chest. there was a natural ease in the way you conversed as if you had known each other for much longer than a few moments. unlike the rest of your parent's friends, jimin never once made you feel like an unintelligent child in her presence. you felt as if you could talk to her about anything, and she'd never make you feel judged for it.

curiosity burned within you, urging you to learn more about her. "so, jimin, tell me about yourself. how did you become a neurosurgeon?"

a soft chuckle escaped her lips, and she leaned back, her gaze shifting to a distant point as she dove into her story. jimin recounted her journey of dedication, hard work, and passion that led her to pursue medicine. she shared stories of the challenges she faced, the lives she touched, and the fulfillment she found in her profession.

as jimin spoke, you found yourself hanging on to every word, drawn to the obvious passion she had for her career and the empathy that she held through the way she spoke of her patients. her passion for making a difference in people's lives made you feel more attracted to her than before, as you felt a smile spread across your face while she continued.

in turn, you shared your aspirations, dreams, and the uncertainty you held about your future. you talked about your love for the sciences, your yearning for independence and exploration, and the weight of expectations that sometimes felt suffocating. it was as if the barriers you had built around yourself crumbled, allowing you to open up and reveal the deepest depths of your heart and mind. some that you didn't even know existed.

hours seemed to slip away unnoticed as you exchanged stories, laughter, and shared experiences. the conversation flowed effortlessly, weaving a web of connection between the two of you who had found solace and understanding in each other's presence.

eventually, as the night grew late, you both realized that the party downstairs had quieted down. the house was enveloped in peaceful silence, the remnants of laughter and happiness lingering in the air. jimin's gaze met yours, an unspoken question passing between you.

"thank you for spending this time with me," you said softly, breaking the momentary stillness. "tonight was better than anything that could be in that box."

jimin chuckled, her hands reaching behind her to grab the box. she pushed it into your hands expectantly. you looked up at her and she nodded, gesturing for you to open it. you ripped the paper from the box, opening it to see a red leather box with gold letters engraved on the top. "jimin! i can't take this! how much did you spend on this?"

"don't worry about it, birthday girl. this is your special day, and it won't come again, so enjoy it while it lasts,” she smiled warmly, gently lifting the lid as your eyes settled on to a small silver necklace with two interlocked rings on the end. you lifted it from the box, the weight of the metal leading you to believe it was even more expensive than you'd originally imagined.

wordlessly, jimin took the necklace from your hands, leaning over you to clasp it behind your neck. your breath hitched at the proximity, feeling jimin's warm breath hitting your bare skin. her fingers trailed down the necklace, her eyes never leaving yours. your eyes flickered between hers and her lips, your own slightly parted, almost anticipating something.

"happy birthday," she mumbled, before you pressed your lips to hers, her hands eventually coming up to gently hold your waist. you moved back and looked up at her, looking for confirmation, her eyes half-lidded and her gaze almost unreadable. you pulled her back in for another kiss, lacing your arms around her neck, she grunted as you pulled away, pressing your forehead to hers, giggling at the surprised look in her eyes.

she playfully rolled her eyes, her hands trailing down from your waist to your thighs as you drew her in for a sloppy kiss, your gift box hitting the floor with a light thud. she hooked her fingers underneath your thighs, maneuvering you onto her lap as she deepened the kiss, her hands caressing your back.

"jimin? y/n?" you heard your dad call out. jimin jolted from her position on your bed as if she'd been physically hurt, forcing you to push yourself from her lap and onto the bedsheets behind you.

"y/n, i'm so sorry. shit," she mumbled, running a hand through her hair, the same way she did when she was standing by her car. two complete scenarios, yet you still feel the same rush you did the first time.

"don't apologize, jimin. you didn't do anything. i wanted this." she shook her head, picking up the discarded box from the floor, and letting out a deep sigh.

"y/n, i'm just," she ran her fingers through her hair once more. "this isn't right. not only are you my colleague's daughter, but you're nearly ten years my junior. jesus christ..." she trailed off as the realization hit her, her teeth starting to chew on her lip.

"jimin, i promise you didn't do anything wrong! i mean, i initiated it, and i'm eighteen!"

"yeah, barely!" she let out a huff, tucking the box under her arm. "i'm sorry for raising my voice, y/n. please understand where i'm coming from." she gave you one last look, like a puppy in a kennel before leaving your room. you stared at the space where she once was, feeling as if you were about to throw up. you couldn’t decipher if it was from the adrenaline from her kiss, or the feeling that you’d never meet someone else like her again. just as she'd come, like an angel in disguise, she left, leaving an empty feeling in your chest.

you heard the front door open and close moments later, and you moved into the same position you'd been in earlier when you watched her arrive. she looked up at you and gave you a small smile, waving her hand in your direction. you held your hand up between the blinds as an act of acknowledgment, as if your heart wasn't being shattered as you watched her walk away.

she started up the car, the roar of the engine feeling almost familiar to you at this point, and wasted no time before pulling out of the driveway and speeding down the street. you heard the door creak open and turned around to see your dad standing in the doorframe, a warm and comforting smile adorned on his face. "you like jimin's car too, huh? it caught everyone's attention tonight. i almost thought a lion was in our driveway," he joked, and you could barely find it in yourself to muster up a smile.

"yeah, i like her car."

#fem reader #yu jimin x reader #aespa karina #karina x reader #karina imagines #kpop imagines #girl group imagines #gg imagines #aespa x reader #aespa imagines #⸻ writes! 📄

[woso-dreamzzz]

Tesco

Leila Ouahabi x Reader

Connected to Uni Love II

Summary: How Leila got the bruise on her cheek

Leila's minding her own business as she wanders through her local Tesco. She's got one earphone in as she goes down the snack aisle. She's meant to be getting food for a little meetup at Deyna and her girlfriend's house but, as the only one out of the Man City girls going currently not injured, she can afford to be a little bit late.

Every Brit she meets says that there's something magical about Big Tesco but, honestly, she's not entirely sure she gets the appeal.

Deyna's girlfriend gave her a list to stick to but Leila's pretty sure that lists are just guidelines anywhere so she's going off vibes only as she crouches down in front of one of the fridges full of dessert.

She doesn't even realise what's happening until she's sprawled out on the floor with pain blooming on her cheekbone. Leila looks up in confusion to see a full trolley where she used to be crouching and the prettiest girl she's ever seen approaching.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!"

Leila's still completely star-struck as you approach, your hands fluttering over to check her face.

"I didn't even notice you! God, I'm sorry. Can I do anything? Are you alright?"

Leila, in a moment of pure adrenaline, captures your hand in her own and kisses the back of it. "I am so okay." She's trying to be smooth (Deyna and Laia would laugh at her if they were here) and, thankfully, you seem to be flattered if the blush on your face is anything to go by.

"I feel terrible," You say," Can I buy your basket for you? As a sorry."

"If you buy my basket," Leila replies as you help her to her feet," Then can I have your number? I'd love to take you out."

You laugh and inwardly, Leila pumps her fist in victory. "Are you trying to pick me up? In a Tesco?"

Leila grins, even though the movement makes her cheek ache. "I've heard that Big Tesco was a magical place but I didn't know that it stocked such beautiful girls like you."

You laugh under your breath. "Oh my god. I hit you with my cart and you're trying to pick me up. I can't believe it."

"I'm Leila," She says with a wink," But you can call me your future girlfriend."

"Wow," You say," You're so forward. Is that because of the pain or just what you're usually like?" You take Leila's basket and put it in your trolley.

"Let me take you on a date and find out."

You grin at her. "I gave you quite a shiner. I hope that you don't hold that against me."

"Trust me," Leila says," I am very happy that you hit me with your trolley."

"It was an accident, truly."

Leila winks. "I wouldn't have minded it if wasn't."

You laugh. "Alright smooth talker. Do you need to get anything else or should we go and pay for it?"

"We can pay now," She says," But if you need longer to make your mind up about me then I'm happy to pretend to need more things."

"You're very charming," You reply, beginning the push your cart to the registers," I've already made my mind up about you." You fish out your phone. "I'm working for the next three days but I'm available at any time after six if you still want to go out."

Leila has to restrain herself from snatching your phone to type in her number so makes sure to take her time (but still ends up wearing a smile that betrays how excited she is).

You do the same with her phone, shyly handing it back. "You should probably go get some ice to put on your bruise. Is it far from your place?"

"My friend's girlfriend is a doctor," Leila confesses," I'm actually heading there now."

"Well," You say, feeling bold and giving her a goodbye kiss on the cheek," I hope she has ice for you. I'd hate for that pretty face of yours to be all black and blue during our date."

You waltz off and Leila stands frozen for several minutes as she watches your retreating figure.

Then, her phone chimes.

It's Deyna, asking where the hell she is.

#woso x reader #leila ouahabi x reader #leila ouahabi #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

[rhiannswork]

i couldn’t wait any longer

spencer ᕁ reader

warnings ; spencer being a needy boy, semi voyeurism, mentions of burnout

your eyes were stuck to the tv as your hands ran through spencers brown locs. he enjoyed the feeling of your chest rising and lowering at a smooth pace. the rest of his body lay between your legs with a blanket over his long legs.

your phone rang, almost falling off the nightstand from the vibration. you saw it was your boss calling to check in on you. you had taken a two-week break due to burnout from work. you had cleared your throat before you had answered. “darlene! hey!” you spoke with a faux ‘i’m so glad you’re calling!’ tone.

“hey yn! i was just wondering how you’re doing?” she spoke, the grungey speech came from your end. “better! so much better actually… i appreciate you letting me take some time off.” you thanked her. you still toyed with spencers hair, unconsciously twirling it between your fingers.

that was spencers favorite thing that you did, whenever you’d lightly tug on his hair whenever you twirled it. little did you know, that he was already a little on edge from laying on your breasts.

“that’s so great to hear. i hate to be that person because your two weeks aren’t up yet and you can decline if you’d like, would you be willing to come back tomorrow?” you rolled your eyes as you held back a sigh. “of course i can darlene! may i ask, wha-” your train of thought had completely crashed.

you felt spencers lips on your neck, tugging at your skin ever so lightly. “what um… what’s wrong? everything alright there?” you shook your head, attempting to ignore reid which was clearly not working. “oh yes, of course, we just have some new people coming in who need to be trained. you’re the best trainer i know.” she chuckled. reid’s eyes connect with yours, you fell in love all over again… “hello? yn?”

“what? yes yes i understand.” you sighed with relief and satisfaction when spencer hit your sweet spot. you hand shot up through his hair, you gripped his hair by the scalp. you heard him moan as quietly as he possibly could. “i’d be willing to help.” you tried to gain some brain cells back to answer your boss.

“thank you so much, i would offer this to janis but you know how she is.” she joked. “i sure do.” you chuckled as spencer went lower and lifted your shirt up. he began placing kisses on your stomach as his fingers hovered ever-so-slightly above your waist, sending chills up your spine. he silently giggled at your misfortune, watching as you became soothed with every touch.

“she’s been working my nerve, ever since you left!” your boss continued to gossip. “really?” you have no interest in what darlene had to say. “yes! she thinks since you’re not here, she’s the queen of the office. don’t even get me started on daniel ugh!” she rambled, all you had to say was ‘mhm, oh wow, really?’ you couldn’t care less.

your mind was all on spencer who was inching closer and closer to your heat. “spence.” you whispered, you shook your head but he disregarded your protest. “but we miss you, there’s no rush… it would just be nice if you could train the newbies.” she sighed, finally drawing the conversation to a conclusion.

while spencer on the other hand was just getting started. he pulled your shorts down along your panties, threw them to the side, and slowly immersed himself into you. “well, i won’t keep you any longer.” “mhm… okay… yeah i… i’ll see you.” you didn’t wait for a response as you pressed decline, tossing your phone to the side of the bed.

“doctor reid, you are in so much trouble.”

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds smut #spencer reid fluff #matthew gray gubler

[moochalove]

Last Nights Mistake and Beginnings

(Kazuha x Pregnant!Reader x Scara)

Idk whats even goin on anymore!!!

This fucking sucks and i’m not expecting anyone to read (Damn, you guys eating this up…..) but I kinda had an idea and just went crazy w it….. i will be making a part two because i will go crazy if i don’t😋

word count: idk but it’s pretty long 😊

not proofread 🙏

reader is a little mental and stupid but who isn’t❤️‍🩹

kazuha is sleazy in this fic + a phony + should not be trusted + sorta a cheater but reader is kinda okay with it

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•

You had met Kazuha at a club. It was your secret getaway from reality and working, your safe haven. Sipping your drink you stood away from the crowds simply minding yourself and taking in the noises of chatter and laughter. You enjoyed it. Glancing around at the faces you noticed this fairly handsome man. He noticed you too, he handed his drink to his friends as they cheered and laughed at him walking over to your direction.

You stifled a small giggle as you brushed your hair back and started with a simple “Hi.” While exchanging names you took this time to glance at his features, his beautiful porcelain skin, and silky smooth white hair with a dashing red streak placed in the center, he was gorgeous you thought to yourself.

The night was spent full of giggles and flirtatious gestures. It may have been the alcohol clouding your mind but every time you glanced at him you felt the sudden urge to take him home with you, you weren’t sure what you would do when you got home, would you stare at him and apologize then sending him home? Or would you let the alcohol take full control and sleep with him? Both options don’t sound too bad but you eventually decided the latter.

Twirling your soft hands through his medium-long locks your gaze settles on him as you plant a kiss to the side of his face. You waited to see if he would reciprocate. Kazuha pulled your hands out of his hair and pinned them above your head as he pinned you against the wall, hot mouth clashing into yours. Holding back your small moans you rub up against him and his slight bulge, pulling away you gasp for air as a string of saliva connects the two of you. Looking at him with yearning eyes he picks you up and leaves the club (of course after you pay for your drinks.)

Once you returned to your house you quickly stripped off both of your clothes while making your way to the bedroom. Giggling all along the way you reach the bed as you embrace each other before he starts kissing up on your neck. Rubbing your hands through his soft hair you think to yourself, “It is silky..” laying back you take in the clouded view before everything goes dark.

You can’t seem to remember what happens next although you’re certain you both know.

In the morning you’re alone.

The bed is a mess, it seems only your clothes are scattered throughout the house. “Maybe he’s in the bathroom?” Circling around the couches you make your way down the hall towards the bathroom. You knock once. No answer. You’re certain he’s gone so you open the door. Nothing. Looking around you noticed the floor was wet, maybe he took a shower before he left. The mirror stares back at you and you then notice how sad you look. What were you expecting? For him to say he loved you truly and that he was gonna stay? No, it was a one-night stand. That’s all.

Uh oh, looks like your last night mistakes were here to haunt you. Lurching forward you spew out contents from last night. Deciding it would be best to wash up you go to grab fresh clothes and a towel before checking your phone. Maybe he left you a message. Nothing. Shaking your head you jump in the cold shower and begin to wash up.

A couple of months had passed and boy, has it been a crazy couple of months… You were in your 19th week and you just played it off by saying you’ve been stress eating and it was just “weight gain” but your doctors said otherwise. Every now and then you wondered if you should’ve contacted Kazuha as soon as you knew but a voice inside your head told you not to burden him. From what you learned that fateful night he had told you he was a free spirit and that he could possibly never settle. Being drunk and stupid you said, “Oh yeah totally, I could NEVER think about wanting to commit to anything other than work! Life’s too short to being chained down in one place forever!!” Maybe that’s what sold him on you. Both of you having a fun night with no regrets. Alas, all good times must come to an end and you must face the consequences of your drunken actions, so here you were, trying on different outfits to hide your small baby bump. You needed to expand your wardrobe to more concealing outfits and more jackets.

As you leave the store you see him. Kazuha is wandering around the mall with his friends, laughing and having a good time. You want to turn the other way and leave but you can’t help but stare for a moment hoping he doesn’t notice you. He does, he runs over and hugs you. You’re stunned and can’t seem to piece together words. “Y/n! How have you been?” He says out of breath from running. You blush faintly as he looks at you. Slowly swaying the bag of clothes behind you, “I’ve been good? And you? I haven’t seen you in awhile haha..” you trail your laugh as you look away. “Oh yeah, last time we…” a cute pink blush dusts his face as he seems more interested in the floor all of a sudden, “Anyways… I just thought I’d come by and say hi. Actually- I was wondering if you wanted to go out and grab drinks with me and my friends.” He turns back to look at you sheepishly. You really don’t want to but you don’t wanna make it seem like you’re avoiding him. “Uh.. I would but I have to drop some things off first, haha.. Um, you guys go ahead and I’ll catch up with you later, yeah?” “Oh right, it seems I caught you in the middle of shopping, my bad. Yeah you can stop by when you’re done. We’ll be at the usual place! I’ll see you later.” He places a quick kiss to your cheek as he runs back to his other friends. Quickly turning away you decide to just leave through a different exit not wanting to cross paths with them again.

Once you get home you slowly drop to the ground as you rub you head. You shouldn’t have said you would go.

Entering the club you smile waving at familiar faces and spot Kazuha and his friends in the secluded corner. If you remember correctly it’s Scaramouche, Heizou, Ayaka, and Xinyan. Oh and sometimes Venti, Ayato, and Thoma. He waved towards you as he gestured for you to sit down by him, he was sitting on the outer corner of the round table so if you needed to get up and leave you could. Once you sat down you felt your stomach twist with anxiety. You simply started counting the things you could see and hear.

“I’m not sure if you’ve met her but this is my friend Y/n!” He turned to smile at you “We’ve been friends for awhile now.” Nodding along you speak “Hello. Nice to meet you all!” You smile at them all. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Y/n, Im Ayaka!” She greeted with you a smile. “It's a pleasure to meet you Y/n, I'm Heizou!” he reached over the table to shake your hand “ah, what a surprisingly firm grip!” shaking your hand once more he returned to his seat. Turing slightly to the left you turn to face Xinyan, “We’ve heard many interesting things about you!” “O-oh like what?” Xinyan exclaimed, “Oh just the basics, Yknow like what your favorite color is, favorite band, food and what-not! Kazuha can’t seem to stop talking about ya’!” She gave a playful wink as she giggled possibly implying something. Kazuha grabbed your shoulder shifting you closer to him as his friend who you hadn’t noticed was not at the table sat down. Ah, it’s Scaramouche. He sat down at the end and you felt your fist clench. There goes your way of leaving, sure you could ask him to move but the things you’ve heard about him you decided your personality don’t clash well so you would be best to just avoid talking to him unless needed. The waiter came over and asked for everyone’s order, when it was your turn you just decided to get water, alcohol wasn’t something you planned on drinking tonight because you didn’t want a repeat of last time, plus it wouldn't be good for you. “Oh, no drinks tonight Y/n?” Kazuha looked like a sad puppy. “Nah, I’m good, I have work in the morning and I’d rather not wake up with a pounding headache. Next time though!” You hoped there wouldn’t be a next time. “Okay then!” He gathered the menus and handed them back to the waiter then slyly hung his arm around you.

You tried to pretend it wasn’t there and listen into the bustling atmosphere like you once did. Of course, though someone had to bring you into the conversation. It’s not like you hated them but you wish you had met them under different circumstances. “So, Y/n what do you plan to do in the future? I hear you have a nice paying job but it goes against your ideals. How are you gonna deal with that?” Scaramouche asked as he sipped on his non-alcoholic drink. Had you said something in your drunken state to Kazuha? Oh no what if you embarrass yourself what if- “Oh come on Scara try and ask some interesting questions, that’s boring! I wanna hear what her love life is like!” Ayaka retorted. “U-um well I don’t really have time for love in my life haha, If anything I’d rather avoid it, but I guess if I met THE one I wouldn’t mind keeping them around for the ride… haha I hope that answers your question..” you trail off before taking a big sip of your water. At this point you couldn't decide if you wanted to play as a “love interest” for Kazuha of if you would just avoid acting love-dovey with him.

Ayaka nodded agreeing with what you said “I agree! Although I would be way more open! You can’t be picky when it comes to love!” She sharply turned towards Kazuha, “You're next, Kazu!” Pushing his hair back he sighed “Ayaka we already talked about this…” She leaned across the table “But it’s a great icebreaker question!” Realizing her position she sat down with a quick “ahem..” “Looks like our princess is fired up! Haha, cmon now Kazuha you know how she gets when she’s like this! Answer!” To be honest you were kinda curious despite your current dilemma in your head. “I like it when they’re strong-willed, courageous, soft, long hair, oh, and someone who likes to cuddle!” “Is that all?” “Mmm, just the surface but I don’t wanna bore you guys all night long” Ayaka’s hands clapped together as she smiled brightly “See these are great ice-breaker questions!” “Eh, not really..” said everyone in unison. Ayaka then proceeded to ask everyone else the same question, You don't really remember most of their answers except that Xinyan likes men and women who are more on the stronger side- both mentally and physically. Heizou said he preferred anyone taller than him, and Scaramouche said he only wanted someone who knew how to cook.

They rambled on a bit more before Heizou and Xinyan took their leave claiming they needed to get to the local gaming store to pick up their copy of the latest game that came out. Now that the bright extroverts were gone you weren't sure what to do or say. Ayaka had made some effort to talk about random things but quickly ran out of topics to talk about. Growing tired by the minute you soon began to build up the courage to say you were going to leave, the bustling atmosphere seemed no longer enjoyable, and Kazuha seemed too busy playing footsies with Ayaka to even say anything to you. “I thi-” Scaramouche grabbed your hand suddenly, yanking you off the seat, “We're gonna go grab some drinks! We’ll be back!” he said looking back at them before waving nonchalantly at them.

Guiding you through the small crowds of dancers you're trying to make sense of the situation, “Um-” “God you're pathetic.” Was he really insulting you??? You didn't even do anything to him??? A confused expression plastered your face, “I'm sorry what?” “I said you're pathetic. Have you not noticed?” Sitting down at the bar stool you look at him even more confused, trying to recall if you had done or said something. “You think he's into you?” Oh, it's about Kazuha. “Listen, I never said he was into me- Aren't you jumping to conclusions?” “Why you little… Have a look for yourself” he spun your seat around you could see them through the small crowds: Kazuha and Ayaka staring at each other like a young couple in love, You could immediately tell how serious they were about each other. “You wouldn't wanna ruin such a young and happy relationship would you, Y/n?” You turn back around laying your head in your arms, “So what am I supposed to do? I'm just his friend. Nothing I can do-” Turning back around you cock your head to the side. “Doesn't it make you angry? Seeing him getting all lovey-dovey with someone other than you?” Was he trying to get you riled up? Seriously? “Listen, we had one night together, that's all. If you know everything why don't you go ask him yourself?” You can feel yourself breaking little by little. “I would but it seems he's busy right now!” He really was trying to piss you off for his own entertainment, huh.. “Oh please I don't need the person who only wants a lover who knows how to cook to make him happy trying to control MY love life.” “Oh yeah? Well, I don't want someone who has one-night stands to tell me what I think is good!!” you both were getting louder by the second. “Yet you clearly have shit taste!!” “Said the one who is practically married to her job!!” “Oh yeah? Oh yeah?? I hear you go around bumming money off your mo-” “SCREW YOU” “SCREW YOU TOO” Almost everyone at the bar witnessed you two pulling each other's hair and yelling curse words at each other.

Not long after you were both escorted out and left on the side of the street.

“Look what you did!” Scaramouche yelled at you, You weren’t really concerned about him but instead tried digging through your purse for your car keys. Once you found them you headed towards your car, “Yeah yeah, whatever. I’m headed home. Please let Kazuha know I got home safe and- why are you getting in my car?” Scaramouche lowered himself into the seat before covering his face with his hands, but peeking through his fingers, “Crap… why is she here… she never leaves her office- and who is that with her? Oh, it’s that sly vixen bit-“You looked at him confused before realizing who he was talking about. “Isn't that your mo-” “Shut it- she's no mother to me!” Starting the car you start to check all your mirrors making sure it’s okay to pull out.

“I think she's gone so you can come out no- OHSHIT GET IN THE BACK AND HIDE YOURSELF.” “Why-” practically tossing him in the back you comb through your hair and turn up the radio a little to cover the sounds of Scara struggling.

“Y/n? I just came out to look for you! Why're you leaving so suddenly?” Leaning in a weird position your arms are awkwardly posed as you force a smile. Normally, you're calm and collected, ready to behave falsely, but this time you were caught off-guard. “Did something happen between you and Scara-” “NO,” with a short ‘ahem’ you straighten out. “Nope! Nothing at all! I was just feeling a little nauseous, so I'm gonna head home-” he placed a quick kiss on your head before caressing your face, “Get well soon, my love.” Stiffening up before you melted into his warm touch, and placing a small peck on his knuckles, “Oh, Kazu, I'll be just fine. Don't worry about me-” Noticing how his face lit up at the fact you said you'd be fine made you wonder if you were holding him back from his precious time with Ayaka. “I'll let you go then.” Snapped from your thoughts you pull away and set your hands on the wheel, “I love you, and I'll see you later.” Nodding you reply with a simple ‘bye’ before you watched him head back to the club.

You really were just a side fling. Something he could play with with, knowing you would be just fine. Right? You’ll be fine, won’t you?

Tears started to roll down your soft cheeks. “I hate him.” Gripping the wheel you slip and speak your intrusive thoughts, “I should run him over” “HUH?” Scara exclaimed as he pulled your clothes off himself, “OHFUCK, I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE… UMMM…..” “Damn, Y/n, you have it rough… Almost makes me feel bad” he snickered before fondling the clothes that had concealed him. “Um, anyways, why do you have maternity? clothes in your car?” You froze for a second before laughing and putting up a front, “For my sister. She's expecting,” you stated blankly as you turned the corner and left the club parking lot. “Sister?” Scara almost didn’t buy it but it wasn’t his place to pry for details. “Well, never mind then.” Hands relaxing on the wheel you decide to feed him more details so he’s sold on the idea of your sister, “She’s in her 19th week, from what I heard from my parents is that she’s expecting a baby boy. Can you believe I’ll be an aunty?” With a soft chuckle, he agreed, “I can agree actually, you almost have all the qualities to be a mother, so why not an aunty- at least what I hear from Kazuha- not that I think you-“ “It’s fine, I get that a lot from people!” “Really?” “No.” “I hate you...” Laughing in response you start to feel a bit nauseous again so you pull over on the side of the road. “Sorry, my head hurts really bad so I’m gonna stop for a second. Just to be safe, of course.” Humming in response he crawled back up into the front and started to browse through the radio channels, finally choosing a radio that streamed classical music he laid his head back.

You weren't thinking about anything peculiar, wishing for this throbbing pain to go away, but that was it. Scara on the other hand… He wondered to himself if he had read Kazuha’sand your “situationship” wrong. Maybe he was into you? Were you also into him the same amount? Were your feelings real? Why was he so intent on keeping you away from him? Was it for Ayaka’s sake? No- that doesn’t make too much sense. You seemed to love and hate him equally… He wasn’t sure but all he knew now was that you weren’t ALL that bad. His thoughts were cut off-

“Sooo, where do you want me to drop you off?” He thought for a moment. Kazuha would probably bring Ayaka back to their shared apartment before her brother would come looking for her, so that’s a no. Home? Knowing his mom wouldn’t be there didn’t seem so bad. But he also wanted to make sure you got home safe, why? he himself wasn’t too sure.Maybe it was the very little “gentleman” in him his mother had molded him to be.

He knew he would regret this but he asked anyways, “Do…” shyly looking out the window he seemed more interested in the passing cars in the distance, “Do you think I could crash at your place tonight- I don’t really wanna go ‘home’ right now,” squeezing the wheel you hesitantly agreed, “No I totally get it- Really it’s fine!” turning towards you he looked like a frail cat who’s eyes lit up at the sight of food. Turing your blinker on and waiting for ongoing cars to pass you merge onto the road.

“Thanks, Yn… I was honestly expecting you to dump me on the side of the road.” he spoke so sincerely.

Once you got him the sudden realization of all the baby clothes and diapers were left out in the front you panic for a second. “A-ah… I just remembered my living room is a mess right now… Um- wait out here for a sec, i’ll be quick,” fumbling with your house keys you squeeze the door not allowing him to see too much inside. Scara quirked an eyebrow but was soon distracted by a scrawny cat walking up to him, mewling hoarsely.

Leaning down he decided it needed his divine attention!

Grabbing all the clothes laying out you stuff them into a giant box and sprint to your room, hiding them under your bed, same with the diapers but instead grabbing gift wrapping paper and what ever you could find before stuffing them into your closet. If for some reason he were to look in your closet all he would find is gifts for your beloved sister! Scanning the room one last time you make sure nothing is left out.

Rushing back to the you invite Scara in you immediately take notice he is busying himself with one of the neighborhood cats you feed. “I would have never guessed you liked cats,” posing against the doorframe you smile down at him, “But I guess I can’t blame you!” Scara seemed to be in his own world petting and rubbing the cat’s fluffy fur with the occasional twig intertwined between it. “Does she have a name?” He asked gently not wanting to make too much noise to startle the purring cat. “Mmm, I’ve just been calling her MeowMeow.” Leaning down next to him you gently stroke behind her ears as she curls into your touch. “I found her cold and weak a couple of weeks ago. It seems like she's not fattening up yet…” Scara turned to look at you angrily, “And you didn't take her to the vet?” “I have a good paying job, yes- but with how much my bills are a month….” you quickly retorted already feeling guilty about not getting MeowMeow checked out.

All he could do was pinch the bridge of his nose before sighing, “I’ll pay for her vet fees- if you'll allow me-” Ah, he meant he was gonna use its moms money but nonetheless your eyes glistened with hope that he was being serious, “Really? You're not joking are you?” You leaned closer to him with desperation, “Tell me you're not joking,” He didn't seem to mind the closeness between you two as he continued to pet the cat's fur, “Of course, why would I be joking?” said a slightly annoyed Scaramouche. “Well- I'm not too sure actually…..” The silence made itself known as you both eventually took turns petting the poor cat before you went to get her wet food. She ate her food quickly before returning to wherever she came from, leaving you and Scara standing in the cold.

“I… I cleaned up so you can come in now.” Without saying anything he walked inside, plopping himself onto your spacious couch. He tried to loosen up a little but couldn't seem to get comfy. You, on the other hand, had washed your hands and were preparing some food for you both, simple ham and cheese sandwiches with some juice for the both of you before you went to sleep. Scara found his way to the guest bathroom while you left his food for him on the sofa. You scrolled the TV waiting for him to come out just in case he needed anything.

Once he came out he looked a little more relaxed, face freshly cleaned and dried. Putting the remote down you lean over to grab some blankets out of a basket, “So, I made you a sandwich with some juice to drink- the TV is here if you wanna watch anything and I've got some blankets in case you get cold-” He simply nodded, “What time should I be gone?” “Well, unless you have a ride, I suppose whenever. But if I'm your ride probably by 10 or 11- Let me know if sooner though.” Scara made himself comfy before replying, “Whenever you wake up is fine. Goodnight, Y/n.”

Walking down the hall into your room you shut the door before lying down and eating your yummy-looking sandwich. Once you finish you decide to get some sleep not wanting to think too much about the fact Scaramouche is here and how your night went. Slowly but surely you drift off into a light sleep…

THATS WAS SO LONG BUT THIS IDEA HAS BEEN ROTTING MY BRAIN!! TY FOR READING IF U DID <33

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin angst #kazuha #kazuha x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #pregnant reader #afab reader #fem!reader #pregnant!reader #tw alchohol mention #reader is a little stupid

[pinkcrocss]

On Andre...

So, I've been picking up on a lot of negative feelings towards Andre within the fandom (some warranted, some unwarranted in my opinion). And I think it comes down to two things:

-Andre is probably one of the least developed of the core group in terms of writing.

-Andre's actor (Chance Perdomo) has some problematic views irl.

I want to focus on the first point however, cuz I'm interested in the character not the actor (Patrick Schwarzeneggar and Claudia Dumit also support Isreal, so I'm choosing to focus my feelings on characters, not the actors if I want to enjoy this show at all).

When I first watched Gen V (before the hyper fixation had kicked in), Chance's performance had been one of my least favourites. I didn't like the weird voice he was doing (turns out he was Brit doing a pretty decent attempt at an "American Jock" type accent) and I thought the actor kept doing a lot of awkward stammers and tics that didn't feel in line with the character (I assumed, that's just how the actor was irl). That is until I watched a cast interview and I learned 2 things:

He is a Brit.

He's actually a very smooth and clear speaker. Which means those mannerisms were an intentional choice by the actor.

Later, once the hyperfixation had truly set in, I was watching a boatload of cast interviews, when I caught a comment underneath one of those videos that totally changed my view of that character and performance during my 4th (maybe 5th) rewatch.

You know how each of the core group's abilities hurts them in some way and thus works as an allegory for some form of personal issue that they are overcoming? i.e.

Marie -> Cutting/Self Harm

Emma -> Eating Disorders

Cate -> Consent

Jordan -> Gender Identity/dysphoria

For a while, I don't really see how Andre's abilities could serve as an allegory for anything. like, yes later on we learn that his powers will cause him damage over time, but that kind of seemed ham-fisted at the last minute, and not really connected to his ability to bend metal.

But back to that one Youtube comment. I can't remember word for word the comment, but to paraphrase, essentially:

The commentor spoke about how they connected to Andre's character a lot because when they were in college, they had developed an auto-immune disease that essentially made them chronically ill.

They talked about being unable to keep up with their peers, while they were supposed to be in their prime physical years, and how much that taxed on their mental health. Constantly feeling left out, constantly self-medicating, and the chronic pain that they just had to grin and bear.

And as soon as I read that, everything I didn't quite understand/connect with in Andre's character suddenly made sense.

What is one of Andre's core personality traits in the group? He's the stoner.

From episode one, there's a scene of him doing drugs in every episode. Cate is constantly asking him if he's high... he's self medicating.

The slow way he talks, the constant blinking and squeezing his face (note the scene when he's yelling at Tek Knight, or after he takes that first hit from Sam, or after he stops the helicopter)... he's in pain.

So many tics and nuances in his behaviour that I initially wrote off, was actually a much more nuanced performance from Chance Perdomo.

And it all coalesces in that final scene when Andre is at Vought tower and learns of his dad's diagnosis. His powers are slowly killing him, making him weaker (like an auto-immune disease. the body attacking itself).

And the doctor asks him if he ever feels light-headed? has he noticed any uncontrollable tics? Andre is hesitant, almost like he's in denial. But you look back at his actions/behaviour throughout the show, and he's been showcasing both those things.

Finally, the scene with the helicopter. Where it's more or less confirmed that Andre's powers are doing to him, exactly what his dad's powers did. I've seen people very critical of that scene. Saying things like, Oh! He's all of a sudden being affected by the use of his powers, but we hadn't seen that previously (which I disagree) and how it seemed "too convenient".

But keep in mind, stopping a decelerating helicopter is the biggest feat of Andre's abilities we'd seen so far in the show. Of course it's going to take a bigger toll on him than all the other times (not to mention he was in pretty big emotional distress. His dad, Cate's betrayal, an attack on the school...). Stress exacerbates illnesses.

The other critique I've seen is, why are Andre's abilities having this affect now? He's supposed to be in his 20s, but his dad made it all the way to his 40s/50s before it was detected... and that's a fair question. I have some theories:

Like certain genetic illnesses, this issue is hereditary. It's not Impossible, that Andre just inherited a stronger ability than his father, and thus stronger blowback on himself.

Andre's chronic drug use might be a chicken or egg situation. Where maybe his chronic drug use exacerbated the damage his abilities were causing him, and as a result he started self-medicating with more drugs, causing a continues cycle of him increasing the damage to himself.

His dad has been shown to have a very stubborn personality (note how he refused to acknowledge when Andre revealed to him the damage their powers were causing them). Perhaps, he had started feeling the symptoms around the same age Andre had, but just kept ignoring it and pushing through up until he reached his limit in his 40s/50s.

Some other reason that writer's haven't revealed yet. The show has been renewed for a second season, and it's obvious these characters have been set up to be integral to the overarching storyline of the boys as a whole. It's entirely possible that there is more potential development for Andre's character in the future, and I think it's fair to give the writers leeway to explore that.

All in all, I just wanted to get my thoughts out about this, and maybe see how everyone else views Andre's character. He seems to be one of the least discussed in the core group, and I feel like his character has a lot of room for more development in the future if the writers approach it correctly.

#sorry for the rambling #I literally made this blog just so I can be insane about this show in peace #gen v #andre anderson #marie moreau #jordan li #emma meyer #cate dunlap #luke riordan

[impossiblesuitcase]

Hope In It

“The queen is dead! The queen is dead!”

Imperial Adviser Konn Torin’s hand paused mid-air from where it had been directing bodies to a bay of ships.

“The queen!” screeched the young woman, rushing into the crowd of diplomats. She was plainly dressed in a beige tunic—the rank of a servant, and Torin didn’t think he’d ever seen one of Luna’s maltreated servants acting of their own volition.

The clatter of Lunar aristocrats and frightened Earthen leaders filled the loading docks. Since the emperor had threatened to bomb the protective biodomes, the crush of people were practically clambering over one another to board the ships. They hadn’t heard any updates on the situation unfolding in the throne room since Kai had raced off to find Linh Cinder.

“What? What does she mean?” reverberated off the walls. People stopped on the ramps of the ships, watching on curiously.

“Queen Levana is dead! She was shot!” the servant choked out. Her cheeks were coated in tear tracks, her eyes manic. Torin wondered if this state of delirium had arisen from loyalty to the queen, or rather, disbelief that the tyrant could be truly dead.

“No!” cried an older man, whom Torin recognised as from one of the Lunar families. His age was only apparent from the startled slip into his natural, worn voice. Recomposing, he asserted, smooth and youthful, “This is just speculation!”

“Princess Selene shot her!” She circled aimlessly, recycling the news to every guest that would listen. “The queen was shot! She’s dead!”

A hundred murmurs repeated those words under their breath. The Lunars connected eyes in horror—and some—feigned sympathy. 

The Earthens barely held back raucous cheers.

Torin’s ears tingled. He was not a man wont to extreme emotional fluctuations, but this news almost stopped his heart. Could it be true?

Realisation swiftly cloaked him. Kai went in search of Linh-dàren. If the Princess did shoot Levana, what other blood might have been shed? 

Kai.

He abandoned his position as sentinel and reached a fellow Commonwealth representative. “Ensure that everyone remains here until you receive an all-clear,” he instructed. “We cannot yet substantiate this claim. I will go and locate His Majesty.”

“We will wait for your return,” the man replied, bowing.

Torin shook his head as his mind paced two, three, ten steps ahead. Leaving this dock now could very well risk his own life. “I may not be able to. Lend me your portscreen and I will comm Representative Li with updates.” 

The man nodded and unclipped the device from his belt.

Taking it, Torin marched ahead, ignoring the whirlpool of sentiments trying to suck him back in. The cacophony was barely distinguishable, but laughter and crying and cheers spoke much of its meaning. Fury. Rejoicing. Anticipation.

———

The trek to the throne room was much shorter now than it had been an hour ago. The once packed hallways were now absent of officials, flashy nobles, servants, even guards. It was almost ludicrous to imagine that the coronation had been on that very same day when so much carnage and destruction had occured in such little time.

Fierce shouting grew louder as Torin neared the throne room. He began to run, turning the corner to a swarm of bodies blocking his path. Doctors and nurses wearing bloodied scrubs were huddled, shouting, “Pulse is weak! We need oxygen, stat!”

He came to hover nearby but could not identify the victim past the doctors’ tight shoulders. His own pulse faltered as it led him to the worst scenario. Where was Kai?

“He’s inside.”

He spun on his heels towards the magnificent mahogany doors. The voice was heavily accented—American—and weary. 

Torin composed himself. “Thorne-jūn,” 

Carswell Thorne had not struck Torin as a serious or even responsible man in the brief time they’d met. Yet the man in front of him now looked broken and old. He was covered in blood, his clothes ripped. 

“He?” Torin ventured to ask.

“Kai. He’s inside the throne room.” Carswell’s heavy eyes scrutinised Torin—flitting from his white dress shirt down to his dark pants. Pulling an arm from behind his back he revealed a black suit coat draped over his elbow. “I think this is yours.”

Indeed it was. Torin had lent it to Kai’s young friend Crescent, hoping to calm some of her hysteria. But if the small, frightened girl was not wearing it, where was she?

“I had no intention of reclaiming it,” Torin said, taking the jacket into his hands all the same when proffered to him. It was damp and left redness in the creases of his palm. “Where is Darnel-mei?”

“She was hurt,” Carswell said, voice barely audible and tinged with…shame?

He chose to not enquire further as to what this implied. As Carswell’s hazy gaze attached to the retreating backs of the doctors, Torin wondered if the victim was Crescent. And if Carswell Thorne was somehow responsible for what had befallen her.

Partly relieved but not yet satisfied, he straightened. “Is the emperor all right?”

“Dunno. They wouldn’t let him follow her.”

His brow furrowed. Kai did seem to care for Cress, but not enough, he thought, that he would abandon his search for Linh-dàren.

The two exchanged a nod. Carswell staggered away in the same direction as the doctors. He may be in need of a doctor himself, or at the very least, a glass of scotch.

Once the young lad was out of sight, Torin cast the jacket to the ground and thrust open the heavy doors.

A figure lay sprawled on the marble floor. Getting closer, Torin’s blood congealed. It was Kai. Blood pooled around him and over the throne near where he lay, dark like the black strokes of a Japanese ink painting. The stone of the backrest was cracked in the centre.

“Your Majesty!” he cried, racing over and halting just before crashing into Kai. He slid to his knees, examining his body with burgeoning dread. “Where is it?!”

Completely dazed, shock written over his face, Kai murmured, “What?”

He seized his hands into his own. “Where were you injured?” 

Appearing confused, he squinted blearily before following Torin’s gaze to his own torso. His white coronation outfit was bright red, his skin slick with blood.

“Oh,” Kai answered flatly. “Not me. I wasn’t…It’s Cinder’s.”

Torin pursed his lips. …Cinder’s?

Kai tried, weakly, to wipe it from his arms.

Blood. Cinder’s blood.

Torin shifted his hands to the boy’s forearms, pulling him to his feet. “Where is Linh-dàren now?” 

“They just took her.” Kai’s empty gaze drifted to the doors. Ah. It was not Crescent that he’d seen being carted away.

He recovered his sensibility rather remarkably. “Shall we follow them, Your Majesty?”

Kai rubbed at his eyes. Torin hadn’t seen the boy this shellshocked since the death of his mother. “No…I don’t know if Cinder…they wouldn’t let me follow her.”

He scoffed, guiding Kai to the entrance. “You are the Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth and the King Consort of Luna. You can go where you please.”

Kai dully shook his head. “Was King Consort.”

As they reached the doors, he retrieved the black dress coat from the ground and draped it over Kai’s stained shoulders. “If Princess Selene survives—as she will—you very well may become King Consort again someday. We will not let mere doctors stop us.”

Slowly, a light filled the boy’s vacant eyes, as if waking up from a nightmare. Without notice, he took off.

Torin fell into step, trying to match Kai’s steady pace. But Kai had transformed, emboldened by the promise of again seeing his princess. Flickers of a rowdy ten-year-old and then a slouching fifteen-year-old returned to Torin; along with his reminders to walk orderly, like a prince should.

But this determination was nothing childish. This was the gait of a man in love.

———

Blood had dribbled on the marble floors like proverbial breadcrumbs for their quest. Streaks dragged through it, suggesting fast footsteps. Neither Torin nor Kai knew where the medical wing was located, yet the second they saw that crimson evidence, Kai began running.

Slow down, Torin wanted to call for both their sakes, because the emperor would overexpend himself, and Torin was not a young man. But such a request would be cruel to him now.

They were not the only ones running. Servants fled the hallways while others huddled in trios with nervous murmurings. Just as Torin was about to reach into his pocket for his inhaler, Kai skidded to a halt. A crosspath emerged—to the left, a lavish hallway of purple carpets, ancient moon sculptures and a grand piano at its end. The right, stale white walls, dim lights and no such frivolities. In between these two was a large reflectionless window, slightly ajar. Cries of battle and howling slipped through from below.

“Your Majesty, should we perhaps—”

Kai chose right and sprinted. This time, Torin could not keep up.

As he bumbled after him, he passed Carswell Thorne, standing at a distance from a different mob of doctors. They surrounded a gurney, and when Torin saw a gleam of a shimmering orange skirt, he now knew where Darnel-mei was. Slumped against the wall nearby was a disorientated red-headed girl, cradled in the arms of one of those ghastly wolf soldiers. Torin choked on his tongue but then recognised the particular shade of green in the beast’s eyes. This was Kai’s ally, whom he had met when they concealed the Rampion in their ship on the journey to Luna. He reproached his own thoughts for the snap-judgement, especially when the man held the girl as though she were the finest bloom in a garden.

Turning the corner, Torin found Kai beside a flashing red operating room sign, motionless as a nurse explained the imperativeness that he do not impede their recovery efforts.

Resigned, he bowed his head. “Do your best, please,” came his weak voice. He watched—jealously, Torin thought—as the nurse whisked behind the large double doors.

The port at his waist pinged, an unfamiliar chime that reminded him it was borrowed. He punched in the override access code, opening to a comm from an Eastern Commonwealth officer.

“Kai,” Torin called, gently. “Her Maje–Her Highness, Princess Levana has been confirmed as dead.”

Staring at the closed hospital doors, Kai nodded. “I know. I saw her.”

And then, the memory of the throne returned to Torin. Certainly Cinder hadn’t been seated there. But it too was tainted with blood, and that pool contained much more than a single body could have produced. He drafted the cracks in the seat in his mind, the point of impact small and precise.

Princess Selene shot her.

Her body must have been taken away before Torin had arrived. But not before Kai had seen it.

The raging battle below their feet niggled at his thoughts. Hesitating, he recommended, “I suggest we declare temporary control, until Her Majesty The Queen’s status is known.”

Another slight nod. “Tell them…as King Consort, or…whatever. Just direct them to stop the fighting.”

He bowed and turned. He would first comm the Eastern Commonwealth officials to handle the loading docks, then contact their own fleet of security to instate control. Perhaps they could reason with the Lunar guards to help as well. The wolf soldiers would be impossible to restrain, but if they could at least remove the thaumaturges…

He compelled his muscles to contract, to walk forward, unsuccessfully. His feet were solid beneath him, his conscience arguing.

Torin heard a shaky exhale.

He could not leave Kai.

He spun back around and covered the distance. “Kai.”

Kai’s gaze arrived, weakly, in that of his mentor’s. It was the little warning he received before Kai buried his eyes in his wrists, sobbing.

“I can’t…” he choked. “I can’t…”

Torin planted stabilising hands on his elbows as they trembled with his shuddering breaths. 

Anyone in New Beijing Palace could have attested to the fact that Konn Torin was not known for having a propensity for affection. But Kai, he realised bleakly, guiltily, had hardly hugged a body since the late emperor’s demise. That was unacceptable.

The distance discarded, his shoulder offered, Kai collapsed into him.

“It will be all right,” Torin promised into his hair. “She will be all right.”

Shouting chased them from the closed doors; elevated alarm from hard-wearing professionals that made Kai gasp. Torin covered the boy’s ears. He needn’t know what lay behind those doors. Because none of them knew. There were no protocol-issued, well-worn documents assuring that Selene would live. They could only rely on her demonstrated stubbornness and talent of living to spite all naysayers.

But Kai’s father had been determined. Kai’s mother had been stubborn. And they were both dead. Torin had lost two great friends but Kai had lost his parents. If he let this spread to his heart, he may never awaken from this grief-stricken stupor.

“Kai,” Torin breathed, “You must live.”

“...What?” Kai whispered, confused.

He pulled back, hardened eyes peeling away to reveal softness. “No matter what happens to her, you must live.”

Kai looked to the ceiling. “I know…my people…”

“No. You must live for her. And for yourself. Only then can you have the strength for your people.” He wiped the tears away with his sleeve. “She needs you right now.”

“I can’t do anything for her right now, Torin,” he argued miserably. 

Despite it all, Torin smiled. “Do you really believe that?”

Kai’s sharp inhales syncopated with the beeps and clangs from within. Torin had always answered his questions. ‘Towin, why can’t I play with Daddy in his meetings?’ ‘Torin, why do I have to go to the gala?’ ‘Torin, why is Mama sick?’’

This question, only Kai could answer.

As those eyes had managed every time before, they reached a horizon point somewhere over Torin’s shoulder, and the determination crystallised. Torin masked a sigh of relief. For a moment, he truly believed this time might be so severe that there could be no return.

Another embrace, this one Kai initiated and pulled away from resolved. “Call off the fighting and order the thaumaturges back into the palace. I’ll collect the Eathern leaders from the docks and have them organise the crowds. We need to remove the wounded from the battlefield.”

“Shall I divert medical resources to those groups?”

“Yes,” he ordered, turning on his heel and his feet moved in step with his thoughts.  “Repurpose as many rooms in the palaces as needed. Send”—he paused, briefly, slipped a look at the closed doors, and righted himself—“Send our own medical staff as well.”

Torin followed dutifully. “And…you’ll leave Linh-dàren?”

“This is what she needs me to do right now.”

In this moment, Torin was walking beside his dear friend Rikan. This boy, this emperor, galvanised for a new purpose. To prepare Luna for its queen. To carve out a space for Linh Cinder to fill. To aid her as a friend, an ally, a partner.

The closer they got to the docks, the louder the shouting became. Frantic servants and muddled aristocrats still cried the refrain: “The queen is dead!”

No. The queen would live, and Torin dared to hope in it.

Bonus

Sometimes, Cress felt like she was getting the hang of this being around people thing. Sarcasm was becoming more obvious. Body language more telling. But then there would be a little quirk of human interactions that would demonstrate just how unaccustomed to everything she was. Today, she learnt about sneaking up on people.

Cress was halfway through closing the door to her suite when a voice purred, “What perfect timing.”

She gasped and flung around to the apparition.

“Captain!” she exclaimed, clutching her stomach. The jolt was not kind on her still-tender stab wound. 

Thorne grinned, all purple button-up and dimpled cheeks and bergamot cologne, materialised in the spot that was seconds-before empty. “Hey darlin’.”

Cress pried away her hand before he noticed it serving as an anchor and got that guilt-tinged frown. Any reminder of his (unwilling) role in her injury was a doleful experience for them both. Still, at least she could now walk without fearing her intestines would unravel.

“You scared me half to death.” She batted his shoulder.

A pleased look spread over his face. “Stealth is one of my greater qualities.”

She blinked at him. Repeatedly.

“Okay,” he relented, tone faltering. “Not necessarily.” He jutted a thumb at the door behind him. “But my room is just opposite.”

“So that gives you the right to near knock my soul out of my body?”

“I was simply coming out to say hello. I can’t believe that you’d accuse me of trying to catch a fright from you.” Thorne rested a hand on the door frame, pressing her back to the door as he craned his neck towards her. “I wouldn’t do that to my girl.”

His girl. Her heart began dancing an Irish jig for an entirely new reason. At least if she swooned from giddiness, he was in prime position to catch her. “Did you come to tell me something?” she murmured, unable to meet his eyes.

“Oh, you know,” he drawled. “I was checking out Cinder’s new place, all the bells and whistles. It’s not bad.”

“It isn’t bad,” she agreed. “It’s magnificent.”

“It’s no Rampion.” He retracted his hand from the doorframe to take hers. This time, she could look at him. “I stumbled into the gardens—nice, sure—but something was missing.”

“A waterslide?”

“Your hand in mine.” he corrected. He kissed that hand. “As long as you’re up to it, would do me the greatest honour and accompany me for a stroll?”

Her stomach throbbed. She shouldn’t walk for more than ten minutes at a time, and she’d already walked all the way to and from the dining hall for breakfast that morning. But her excitement rang louder than the ache.

“I know, it’s tough to think of an excuse not to go,” he said. “But I promise it’ll be fun. I even brought a token as a security deposit.” Reaching to his back pocket, Thorne procured a single rose, pink in its petals and tinged with brown at the base.

Cress pulled it into her fingers, awed. “It’s beautiful!” she cooed, burying her nose in the creation. “It’s a rose, right?”

He looked surprised, but only momentarily. “Indeed. You’ve probably never seen one before.”

“No.” She twirled it in her fingers, eyes fixed on the rich, fathomless colour. Oh, now she understood why roses were romance personified. She noticed that they were thornless, though she wouldn’t have minded if they weren’t. She happened to like Thornes a good deal. “Do they have more?” she asked, eyes gleaming.

“Hundreds, sweetheart.” He looked smug. His plan had succeeded beyond expectations. She was too happy to care.

“In that case, yes, of course.” She turned to the door, saying, “I'll just pull on a jacket,” when a knife twisted in her gut. She clutched her side, gasping as Thorne stole her shoulders into his hands.

“Cress! Are you okay?!” 

She gritted her teeth, hissing and attempting to take air into her lungs until the pain finally subsided. “I’m fine,” she said wanly.

He frowned. “No, no you’re not. You should’ve told me the pain was acting up.” He wrapped his arms around her sides supportively, sighing. “You need to lie down.”

“No!” she protested. “No, I want to come.”

He cast her a grim stare then pecked her cheek. “Tomorrow, okay?”

She scowled. Her injury was a poor wingwoman to her romantic life. “Okay,” she conceded, only slightly mollified.

“Here. I’ll help you get into bed.” Thorne pulled a hand away from her waist to push open the door.

Prickling erupted on her skin. She suddenly remembered what lay inside. “Oh, no, I’m fine. It’s not that bad—I can just—”

“Nonsense.”

She barely cried a “wait!” before the door swung open and the evidence spilled out in a rich floral perfume.

Thorne walked them both inside, gaping at the garden on the centre table. A mammoth bouquet of lilies, peonies, gazanias and foliage reached almost up to the ceiling. He plucked the creamy white card from the base and read it aloud:

In hopes of a swift recovery. Best Wishes, Konn Torin.

Thorne hadn’t yet blinked. Cress just about felt his token wilt in her hand. “I still love your rose,” she assuaged.

Thorne lowered the card, staring dejectedly at his intimidated rose. “I need to up my boyfriend game.”

She laughed. Cress tucked the rose behind his ear, giggling at his quizzical look. She leaned up, thirty excruciating stitches be damned, and planted a firm kiss on his lips. She pulled away. “Let’s start with that date tomorrow.”

Notes

This one's for me and @hayleblackburn, maybe the only members of the Konn Torin fan club. We're a small but loyal pit crew 😔✊

@cindersassasin @hayleblackburn @spherical-empirical @salt-warrior @just2bubbly @gingerale2017 @kaider-is-my-otp @slmkaider @luna-maximoff-22 @kaixiety @snozkat @mirrorballsss @skinwitch18 @bakergirl13 @wassupnye @linh-cindy @therealkaidertrash21

#lunar chronicles #tlc #the lunar chronicles #konn torin #emperor kai #carswell thorne #linh cinder #levana blackburn #cress darnel #wolf kesley #scarlet benoit #emperor rikan #cresswell #kaider #the lunar chronicles fanfiction #lunar chronicles fanfiction #tlc fanfiction #cresswell fanfiction

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 26

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo X OFC New as of 11/13/2023

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "I don't want to do this."

I lost track of how much time passed as I watched Dieter sleep. My mind was racing through so many thoughts that it overwhelmed me, making it impossible to process anything at all. It was hard to pull myself away from him, but I felt like I needed a few minutes to myself to just…feel. I was relieved when the nurse walked in to check on him, feeling like that was my out. I let her know that we would be in the waiting room if he asked for us. When she turned her attention back to her checklist, I excused myself from the room.

As I walked down the hallway, I took a moment to observe my surroundings. Seeing patients through open doors in various states of critical care was making me feel anxious. The sounds of beeping machines dredging up old memories that I thought I had packed away for good. The pungent smells of antiseptic and fragrances of chemical based cleaners caused my stomach to churn. I hated hospitals and I hated that Dieter was having to go through this experience. I truly hoped that it would at least have a positive outcome so that he could finally get the proper help he needed.

I ducked into a single-user bathroom to have a minute to myself, knowing it would be my only opportunity. After locking the door behind me, I walked over to the sink and gave myself a once over in the mirror. I looked like hell. My air-dried curly hair was now a frizzy mess from my fingers incessantly pulling at it. My eyes were circled in darkness from the lack of sleep, red and swollen from crying. The t-shirt I had quickly thrown on before leaving the house was wrinkled and had a stain on it. No wonder the ER doctor didn’t take my word for it when I said I was fine. I wouldn’t have believed me either. 

I tried to smooth my hair down but didn’t get anywhere with it. Luckily, I had a hair tie on my wrist so I could pull it back into a messy bun. I took a minute to splash some warm water over my face. My skin felt sensitive and raw from the salty tears that had fallen, no matter how much I willed them not to. I switched over to cold water for a little shock to my system to try and wake up some. After splashing a few handfuls of the cold water, I stood watching it pool in my cupped hands, allowing it to spill over the sides. I could feel myself disassociating, until the flashes of memories started to break through.

Images of Dieter lying on the floor, his eyes opening briefly as I tried to wake him before they rolled back and closed again. The way he looked lifeless in my lap on the drive to the hospital, with a weakened pulse. The sight of him being pulled from my embrace and loaded onto a gurney surrounded by nurses and doctors as they worked to stabilize him. It was too much, and it was all crashing down on me at once. I had almost lost him because I was too fucking selfish to take the risk and reach out to him when I knew in my gut that something was wrong. I completely ignored it all and focused on being angry at him, just to make myself feel better about the whole situation. Now, I only felt anger toward myself.

I snapped back to the present, letting the water spill from my hands before reaching to turn off the faucet. I placed my wet hands on the back of my neck for a moment, allowing the coldness to soothe the heat radiating through my body. I closed my eyes and took a few measured breaths. Then, I reached for paper towels to dry my hands and face before throwing them in the trash. I placed both palms on the sink, leaning against it with my head down. I closed my eyes again, still taking deep breaths to try and center myself.

When I raised my head and opened my eyes, meeting my reflection in the mirror, I hated the person that I saw. My biggest fear had been losing myself again. I had allowed it to happen without even realizing how the darkness was slowly consuming what little was left of me. The harder I worked to keep it away from me the easier it was for the darkness to stealthily pull me into its numbing embrace. The sad part is, I welcomed it with open arms under the guise that I was doing what I needed to do to move forward and be happy.

For the first time since Dieter ended things, I realized I was slowly turning back into the person I was before him. The person I was when I was with Justin. The scared girl who pretended everything was fine and hid her feelings away out of fear that someone would see how bad things were. I had been conditioned to behave this way to protect Justin and all his wrong doings. I had been conditioned to hide my feelings away so that I wouldn’t realize how unhappy I really was. I could feel the walls starting to crumble down again and I found myself craving a drink but knew I couldn’t go down that road. I knew I needed to get back on track and handle things the correct way, for the sake of myself. I wasn’t going to be able to be there for Dieter unless I finally got my shit together. For real this time. I needed to find better ways to cope and actually process my feelings, rather than lock them away. If I didn’t do this, I knew I would be lost to the darkness forever.    

I was drawn away from my thoughts by a knock on the door. I took one last deep breath and moved to leave the bathroom. As I continued my trudge down the hallway, I somehow managed to focus my mind back on the current situation that needed attention, trying to think through the next steps. I wasn’t even sure what those needed to be since I had never dealt with anything like this. This was definitely going to be a team effort.

When I entered the waiting room, I was met with more activity than I expected. Everyone was working to check out various inpatient treatment centers for Dieter. Alex was reaching out to his contacts for feedback while Lauren and Gabby did research on their phones. I immediately joined in. We were determined to find something away from LA that wasn’t one of the upscale places celebrities usually went to that catered to them. He needed to be somewhere that would not treat him any differently than other patients and really focus on helping him get better.

We finally settled on a facility in Tucson, Arizona called Sanctuary Hills that appeared to be promising. It was away from paparazzi central, making it less likely that anything would leak about Dieter being there. It also came highly recommended by Dr. Wilson and several other individuals that Alex spoke with. It would be a long drive, but more than worth it if the place was as good as everyone made it out to be. Once the decision was made, Gabby called to get more information and to get the admission process started. 

We did not want to give Dieter the opportunity to change his mind, so Gabby and I planned to drive him directly to the facility once he was discharged from the hospital. Sanctuary Hills was kind enough to send us a list of things that Dieter could and could not bring with him, so I offered to go pack a bag for him on my way home to nap and freshen up. Gabby planned to do the same while Lauren and Alex stayed behind to spend some time with Dieter once he woke up.

When the Uber driver pulled into the driveway of Dieter’s house, I could feel my chest tighten as anxiety set in. Being there after what had happened the previous evening felt odd, almost sort of eerie. It seemed like there was bad energy emitting from the once happy place that I had considered my second home.

As I used Gabby’s key to unlock the front door, I suddenly felt a wave of emotion sweep over me. I could already feel a lump forming in my throat. When I stepped inside and really took in the space for the first time, I realized how much of a mess it was. I had noticed it the night before but didn’t register the severity because I had been focused on helping him. Dieter’s comforter and a pillow, my pillow, were haphazardly laying on the couch. There were old takeout containers randomly sitting around the living room and kitchen, some still containing food that looked like it had hardly been touched. I assumed that was the cause of the questionable smell permeating throughout the house. The TV was laying on its back on the floor with a busted screen. There were empty and broken liquor bottles of all shapes and sizes laying everywhere. Most of the broken bottles were concentrated on the floor under the painting I had left for him, like they had been thrown at the wall. The painting appeared to be untouched, which was oddly comforting to see.

It was difficult to see the physical evidence of how bad he had been hurting. There was no way that I could look at the sight before me and not feel anything. I simply could not pack this away somewhere in my mind and not deal with it. It was too much, but I needed the raw emotional confrontation. This is what finally caused my walls to crumble down, forcing me to feel everything at once. The sadness, betrayal, hurt, pain, anger…all of it. I couldn’t hold back the flood of tears any longer. My vision blurred momentarily before the tears started to fall incessantly. I didn’t even bother to wipe them away as I made my way toward Dieter’s bedroom to start packing a bag for him.

If I thought the living room and kitchen were bad, his bedroom was even worse. The bed was completely torn apart, and the frame broken. The nightstands were turned on their sides and the lamps that once set atop them laid in pieces on the floor. The mirror on the dresser was shattered and the drawers and clothes were thrown across the room. There was a hole in the drywall where the headboard used to be and another beside the bathroom door. It felt like I was having an out of body experience, the scene around me looking like it had been pulled straight from a movie.

I stood there for a time; both of my hands placed over my mouth in shock as I looked around the room. I had a hard time reconciling the thoughts of Dieter causing such destruction. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t a violent person. This was the culmination of his pain finally breaking him. My legs suddenly felt weak at that realization. I sank to the floor, continuing to take it all in as the tears fell freely down my cheeks. It was hard to see a space that held so many wonderful memories of us reduced to a pile of rubble. Maybe it had been even harder for him to be reminded of those memories while it was still intact, a caricature of how things used to be.

I don’t know how much time passed before I finally pulled myself up off the floor. I needed to take a breather. I walked back to the living room, where I noticed Dieter's phone still laying on the floor from where he had dropped it. My car keys were on the floor nearby, where I had apparently dropped them in the midst of my rush to get to him. I leaned down to pick up the keys and phone. I figured Gabby may need some of the contact information from his phone to deal with his work stuff, so I didn’t want to forget it. I walked over and plopped down on the couch before setting the two items down on the coffee table next to one another.

The lock screen of the phone lit up, catching my attention. I picked it up for a closer look, realizing the wallpaper was the infamous picture of us that he had posted on Instagram. Except this was the unedited original. It was in color, uncropped, and not blurred with filters. I had never seen this version of it. It almost broke me to see how happy and content we both looked. Even though Dieter’s head was turned slightly, I could still see the rare spark of happiness in his eyes. The crease that he often had between his brows was smooth. It was hard to remember that for a short time we had been blissfully happy. It seemed so long ago now. I realized that I would give anything to go back to that. We both needed the good times, to experience those rare moments of joy, when things didn’t feel like an uphill battle.

I grabbed the comforter that was halfway hanging onto the floor and wrapped it around me as I laid down onto the couch, phone still clutched in my hand. The scent of Dieter’s cologne surrounded me in a comforting embrace as I continued to examine the picture. A low battery alert appeared on screen. I chuckled to myself, thinking how my battery felt low too. I eventually set his phone back down on the table and drifted off to sleep.

I was jolted awake by my cell phone ringing in my back pocket. When I sat up, I realized it was now dark outside. I had been asleep for longer than I had planned to be. It took me a few seconds to work out where I was as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. I quickly stood and fished the phone out of my pocket to see that it was Gabby calling me. She wanted to check in and see how I was doing and if I needed help with any of Dieter’s things. I didn’t, of course. That was something I wanted to deal with on my own, but I appreciated her offer, nevertheless. It felt good to know that I was not alone in all of this, that this time around there were other people close to Dieter and me who understood what was going on.

Gabby went on to share that Alex had called to say the hospital would be releasing Dieter the following morning. She was planning for us to make the seven-and-a-half-hour drive immediately after picking him up. Then she and I would take a flight back to Los Angeles. It was going to be a long day, but it was worth it if it meant he was going to get the help he needed. We made plans for her to pick me up in a rental car and be ready to go first thing in the morning.

Once Gabby and I hung up, I realized I had a text from Aubrey. I had only just realized that I never called into work that today, so I was surprised I had not heard from her sooner.

Aubrey: Lauren called me last night to let me know what was going on. I hope everything is ok. Please take all the time you need, for the both of you. Keep me updated and let me know if you need anything.

I sighed heavily. I seriously did not deserve her or Lauren. They gave me more grace than I deserved sometimes. I fired off a quick update to Aubrey to let her know that both Dieter and I were doing ok and that I would need a couple of days off. She responded immediately to let me know that would be fine.

Since that was off the “to do” list, I decided to pack Dieter’s bag. I pulled up the list that Gabby had sent to me. He was basically limited to three days’ worth of comfortable clothes and nothing else until they considered him to be fully stable. He couldn’t even have his glasses or contacts, something he was definitely not going to be happy about.

I sent a quick text to Gabby reminding her that Dieter would need a phone list since he couldn’t have his phone. I figured she might have a better idea of who needed to be listed on that and that she would probably have most of their numbers. Then, I made my way to his closet, ignoring the mess in the bedroom as best I could. I found that his closet was completely untouched and still somewhat organized. I noticed that half of it was now empty, which reminded me of the conversation we had about making space to keep some of my things there. He had clearly held up to his word on that and never bothered to change it back. I could feel the lump forming in my throat with that thought. I shook my head, dismissing the memory so I could focus on the task at hand.

I quickly grabbed a pair of his gray workout shorts and two pairs of striped pajama pants (that did not have drawstrings) and three plain t-shirts from the shelves. I found his bright green robe and removed the waist belt before adding it to my stack. I had to dig around to find slip on closed toe shoes that didn’t have any metal or laces on them. At the bottom of his shoe pile, I found a pair of black croc clogs that I had never seen him wear, but it’s what he was getting because it was the only pair I could find that met the requirements. After grabbing some of his boxers and socks, I started looking around for a bag. I eventually came across an extra-large tote bag that could barely hold everything. He wasn’t allowed to bring his own toiletries, so I didn’t have to worry about any of that. I quickly ran through the list again making sure I didn’t miss anything. I made a mental note to double check on the phone list with Gabby and get his medications back from the hospital. Other than that, he couldn’t have anything else.         

Before I left Dieter’s house, I collected all the food containers and took out the trash. That was something that needed immediate attention due to the smell alone. The rest would have to wait until I had more time. I wanted to make sure to get everything cleaned up before he came home, whenever that would be. The mess was the last thing he needed to deal with, and he most definitely did not need any reminders of what happened to him.

I collected the tote bag, my phone and Dieter’s, and my car keys before walking out to my car and heading back to my house. After I got home, I gathered a few things I would need for our quick trip, set my alarm, then immediately went to bed. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for sleep to take me. I was physically and mentally exhausted and I could feel every bit of it.

The morning alarm came quickly. I felt like I had only just dozed off as I sat up in bed, stretching. My head was throbbing, and I could feel that my eyes were still swollen and stinging from all the crying I had done the past two days. I hoped a hot shower would help alleviate the tightness I could feel from the inflammation and ease my aching body. I drug myself up out of bed and took a very long shower. I mostly stood under the hot spray, unmoving, as I stared at the floor. I felt like I needed to mentally prepare myself for whatever the day would bring. I didn’t know what to expect, which left me anticipating all possible outcomes, including the worst-case scenarios. My only hope was that Dieter stayed calm throughout the trip and didn’t change his mind about accepting help before we got him there.  

I spent longer than I should have in the shower, causing me to rush around to get ready. Not that I had planned to put a lot of effort into it anyway because it was definitely a messy bun and sunglasses kind of day. I was glad that I had gotten things ready the night before or else I know that I would have ended up forgetting something. Before I knew it, Gabby was pulling into my driveway. When I got into the car, she handed Dieter’s phone list over to me so she would not forget about it. I added it to his bag before I handed over his cell phone to her.

I could tell she was just as anxious as I was from her tight grip on the steering wheel and tense posture. We hardly said a word to each other during the drive to the hospital. Both of us were clearly deep in thought. The way I felt was almost indescribable. I was anxious and my chest felt tight, but in a different way than before. My head was buzzing as the thoughts raced uncontrollably. I felt hopeful, sad, and angry all at the same time. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around how it had actually come to this. It almost didn’t seem real. I was starting to feel disconnected, like I was watching everything from the outside. I knew that probably wasn’t a good thing, but also felt like it might be the only way I could get through today. I would just have to deal with the consequences of it later.  

When we arrived at the hospital, we found that Alex was already pushing the discharge process along as best he could. He had spent the night with Dieter so he wouldn’t have to be alone. Alex had to be exhausted since he had been at the hospital the entire time. He had the least amount of sleep out of all of us in the past forty-eight hours, so I knew he was ready to crash. Lauren arrived soon after Gabby and me so that she could take Alex home. She had stopped to get us all coffee and breakfast too, which was very much appreciated by all.

Dr. Wilson briefly met with Gabby and I to give us Dieter’s bag full of medication and to go over paperwork. He gave us copies of everything that Sanctuary Hills would need but indicated they had sent electronic copies as well. He let us know that they gave Dieter a sedative thirty-minutes prior because he was still being uncooperative with staff and exhibiting high levels of anxiety. He noted that it should last about eight hours but included another dose with Dieter’s medication in case it was needed. That was not the news that Gabby and I wanted to hear, but we were appreciative that Dieter was given something to calm him down during the trip. We were hopeful that being with us would help him relax some too.

When we were finally able to make our way to Dieter’s room, we found him sitting on the bed picking at the food Lauren had brought for him. It didn’t look like he had eaten much of it. He seemed a little dazed as he sat in silence staring around the room at nothing. Lauren and Alex gave Gabby and I an apprehensive look as our eyes darted between them and Dieter. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting but I don’t think this was it. I assumed his behavior was like this because the sedative was kicking in, making him feel out of it while dulling the anxiety.

I walked over to stand next to the bed, reaching out to push Dieter’s hair back out of his eyes, which caused him to focus his attention on me for the first time. He knitted his brows together as he stared at me in silence for a moment. Then he reached up to lightly tug on my shirt, pulling me to sit down beside him. I wrapped my right arm around him as I moved to sit closer to him, then reached up to rub the curls at the nap of his neck. He immediately melted into my side and laid his head on my shoulder, his arms tightening around me. I took a stuttered breath as I fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. He was so fucking pitiful, and it was breaking my heart to see him like that.

After several minutes passed and when I eventually felt like I had my emotions under control, I asked Dieter if he wanted to change clothes and get ready to leave. He nodded slowly against my shoulder. Gabby handed him a set of clothes and the crocs I had gotten from his house as he got up to go toward the bathroom. While we waited for him, a nurse came in with the last bit of paperwork for Gabby to sign off on. By the time he came back out, we were ready to go. Gabby went out ahead of us to get the rental SUV and pull it up to the door. The rest of us made our way downstairs, accompanied by two patient care assistants. They kept a close eye on Dieter the whole way, which made me question what he had been doing to the staff that was so “uncooperative”. I felt like they were expecting him to run off or something.

Once Gabby pulled up, we gave Alex and Dieter some space to say their goodbyes. Alex had placed one of his hands around the back of Dieter’s neck, pulling their foreheads close together as he talked quietly to his older brother. Something about the sight caused Gabby, Lauren, and I to immediately tear up. The intense emotional look that passed between the two of them said so much. Dieter tightly nodded along to whatever his brother was saying before they pulled each other into a warm embrace. After a quick hug from Lauren, Dieter crawled into the back seat of the SUV. He stared at me wide-eyed and unblinking with his sad puppy dog eyes, seeming to be asking a question without words. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile before climbing in to sit next to him as he scooted to the other side.

Dieter sat wringing his hands and staring down at the floor as we waited for Gabby to finish filling Alex in on our plans for the day. I reached over to grab his left hand and he visibly relaxed some. He glanced over at me with a tight smile before turning to stare out the window. He still looked paler than normal. Seeing him in his own clothes made it more apparent that he had lost some weight, which added to his frail appearance. I knew the current sight of him would haunt my dreams for weeks to come.

Soon after we got on the road, I noticed Dieter was having a hard time keeping his eyes open as he leaned his head against the window.

I gave his hand a small squeeze as I eyed him, “You ok?”

“Those fucking drugs they gave me are making it hard to stay awake,” he said flatly without looking my way.

I started rubbing small circles on his hand with my thumb, “Do you wanna lay down?”

His eyes locked with mine in an intense stare, like he was surprised at my words. I moved to grab a small blanket and pillow from behind the seat that Gabby had brought for him. I handed him the blanket and placed the pillow in my lap as he watched me intently. I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt like I was dealing with a scared feral animal from the look he was giving me. I didn’t want to spook him, but I also wanted to make sure I was there for him in the ways he needed. I reached toward him and motioned with my hand for him to lay down. He moved to get comfortable the best he could in the small space, folding his body to fit and putting his head in my lap. He sighed deeply, eyes closing as he tried to make himself comfortable. Once he was situated, I started running my fingers through his hair and lightly scratching at his scalp. It wasn’t long before his breathing changed to deep steady breaths as he fell asleep.

The drive was long and quiet. I could occasionally feel Gabby’s eyes on me in the rearview mirror as I watched Dieter sleep. My thoughts were still quickly cycling through every second of our time together, trying to figure out when things started to get so bad. I had a feeling Gabby could see everything I was feeling written on my face during that drive. She never questioned it though. There were times that I glanced her way and she seemed to be just as deep in thought as I was.

About four hours into the trip, Gabby asked if we should stop for food. Since Dieter was still sleeping, we decided to push through the drive without stopping. I got the feeling that she wanted to get this whole process over with as soon as possible, leaving little room for interruptions or complications. I couldn’t blame her since I was feeling the same way, along with the nagging feeling that the worst part was still to come.          

It turns out, I was right. By the time we reached Sanctuary Hills, the sedative was wearing off. Dieter had woken up about twenty minutes before we got to the facility, and I could tell his anxiety was ramping up. It started with his fingers twitching, and the restless moving of his legs, until he eventually sat up in his seat. His eyes began to drift across everything he could see in the car. Eventually the outside caught his attention as he started to fidget more and wring his hands together again. He refused to take the other pill that Dr. Wilson had sent with us because he was tired of sleeping and how the drug was making him feel.

As we pulled into the parking lot, Dieter’s eyes fixated on the building while he roughly scratched at his chin. I grabbed his hand to make him stop in hopes it would calm him down some. Gabby and I exchanged worried glances in the rearview mirror as she unbuckled her seatbelt. Gabby and I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side. Gabby pulled Dieter’s door open. He sat staring at me, wide-eyed. He looked terrified. I gave him a tight smile as I reached out my hand for his. He finally relented and took it as he got out. He shuffled slowly behind me as we walked toward the entrance. Gabby grabbed his bag out of the back and quickly caught up to us.

Once we entered the facility, Dieter stood closely at my side with a tight grip on my left hand as he chewed on the thumbnail of his free hand. His head was down, but his eyes were scanning over everything in sight. I tried my best to sooth him and keep him calm while Gabby worked to complete the check in process, occasionally asking him questions for the paperwork she was filling out. He answered quietly, in a barely audible voice, never removing his thumb from his mouth to speak.  

One of the ladies helping with the check in process started to go through Dieter’s bag to check for “contraband” and ensure all of the items were in compliance with the regulations. As she was checking everything, she asked him if he had any jewelry or a cell phone that he needed to turn over to us before Gabby and I left. I felt Dieter tense beside me as his energy changed, from anxious to almost hostile. When I turned to look at him, I could see the panic and anger flashing in his eyes. The inevitable meltdown was finally happening. 

“My phone? You mean I don’t get to keep my fucking phone? No. I didn’t agree to that.”

He started shaking his head frantically from side to side as he backed away from me. I calmly walked over to him and placed both of my hands on his face, softly stroking his patchy beard, in an attempt to calm him as he continued to ramble on.

“How am I supposed to call you without my phone? What if I need you? This place is like a fucking prison. I don’t want to do this.”  

“Dieter, listen to me.”

He finally paused his movements as he stared directly into my eyes. What I saw there made me feel like someone was carving my heart out of my chest with a rusted spoon. I have no idea how I managed to hold it together, but I did.

“You can’t have your phone, but you can use theirs. You have a set phone time to call us. They want you to focus on getting better, so you can’t keep it with you.” 

“A set phone time? I only have your number memorized. Not the others.”

I was momentarily taken off guard by his admission, feeling more emotional than I already had been if that were possible. He obviously wasn’t thinking rationally right now. This wouldn’t be an issue for most people, but Dieter was used to always having his phone to stay connected with those he cared about. It was understandable the absence of that connection would upset him.

“Gabby made you a list of phone numbers so you can call us. It’s in your bag.”

This answer didn’t seem to dampen his anxiety in the slightest, “But I can only call during certain times? What if you don’t answer and I can’t call back?”

“I’ll answer. I promise… and if you need anything between calls, your case worker can call for you if it isn’t something that can wait.”

I could see the tears brimming in his eyes as he continued to stare at me, a pleading expression on his face - either about the phone, his stay, or something else entirely. I was not sure. I tried to keep my face neutral for his sake, but I knew I was failing. My brows drew down together without my permission as my vision blurred slightly from my own tears. He lowered his head and turned away from me, his shoulders shaking slightly from his shallow breathing. He started to clench and unclench his hands at his sides as he moved further away. I quickly wiped at my eyes and glanced over at Gabby and the ladies behind the front desk. They were all staring at the two of us with worry and concern in their eyes. I took a deep breath before walking over to Dieter, pulling him away from the onlookers and enveloping him into a tight hug. I could feel his fingers knotting in the back of my shirt as he spoke through his tears into my neck. “I’m so fucking terrified to do this and I don’t want you to leave me.” I could feel his grip tighten further as he quietly added, “We didn’t get any time to fix things.”

I gently ran my fingers through the back of his hair, “Don’t worry about that, I’ll be right here when you’re done. We can talk about it later. I want you to focus on yourself right now. When you’re better, you’re coming home to me, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

He slowly pulled back to meet my eyes. He seemed determined now as he searched my face.

“I don’t want to spend another night away from you after this.”

I gave him a genuine smile before leaning my forehead against his and closing my eyes to savor the feeling of him, trying to memorize every little bit of him that I could. I felt a tentative hand cupping my cheek as I opened my eyes to look up at him again. I leaned into his gentle touch, for the first time in months. I had missed it so much more than I realized. I couldn’t help myself. I reached up and entwined my fingers with his hand on my cheek before pulling them to rest between us. I used my other hand to pull him toward me and gently placed a kiss on his lips.

The way his face lit up as a few more tears slid down his cheeks made my heart clench. He didn’t hesitate to reach up with both hands and pull me in for a second and third kiss before briefly resting his forehead against mine, the physical intimacy that we had to do without for months seeming to ground him a little. He took a deep steady breath as he backed away.  “Alright, let’s get this shit over with.”

Dieter’s mood shift was surprising and also a relief. He seemed to be having a moment of clarity, which I took full advantage of as I pulled him over toward Gabby so that he could help her finish with his paperwork. Things went much faster after that than I expected. Before we knew it, we were saying our goodbyes. He didn’t let go of my hand until he absolutely had to. He still looked sad, but seemed in better spirits than he was when he arrived. I was thankful for that since it made it more bearable for everyone involved.

Gabby and I had to hurry to catch our flight. We had just enough time to turn in the rental and grab a small snack as we rushed through the airport. We didn’t talk much on our way home. The topic of her brother seemed to be off limits for the both of us, as an unspoken agreement. We were both so drained from the events of the last few days that we needed a break from it. I could tell she was appreciative of having me there though. It was obvious in the small smiles and gentle hand squeeze she would randomly give me during our journey.

By the time I finally made it back to my house, I was running on empty. It was late and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, but I somehow mustered up the energy to take a quick shower to wash the day of travel away. After that, it didn’t take long before I was out.

In the days that followed, I spent my time cleaning up the disaster that was Dieter’s house. I ended up having his bedroom furniture hauled off since several pieces were broken. It wasn’t worth the effort to try and fix them. Once that project was done, I didn’t have much else to do besides work and I did that from home. I did make an effort to spend time with Gabby and Lauren when I felt up to it. I felt it was important to work on my relationship with them since I had been so absent recently, and I didn’t want to risk isolating myself again as I was trying to cope with things. 

After a week had passed, nothing could take my mind off the fact that Dieter hadn’t called me. I was worried that he was starting to realize how badly I had handled this whole situation on my end. He was the one that ended things, but I had made zero effort to fight for us. I had let him go like it was nothing. I would expect him to be hurt by that. Gabby assured me that he hadn’t called because he was having a hard time coming off of his medication and wasn’t feeling up to much phone time. What little he had called to speak with her was to get things sorted out for work and those conversations only lasted a few minutes. She said it was obvious by the way he sounded that he wasn’t feeling well. The case worker told Gabby that he was having some withdrawal symptoms after the first few days of decreasing his medication dosages and he was having a hard time with it. I knew that was most likely the case, but that still didn’t keep the doubts from creeping in, imagining worst case scenarios.

It was nearly two weeks after we had dropped Dieter off at Sanctuary Hills when I got a surprise visit from Alex. He awkwardly greeted me as he walked through the doorway carrying a very large parcel wrapped in brown paper. I eyed it quizzically as he maneuvered it into the living room.

“What is this?”

“Dieter asked me to bring this to you that night I stayed with him at the hospital. I’m sorry, I’m just now getting around to it. He sent a not so polite reminder through Gabby about it yesterday.” 

“I take it you haven’t talked to him either then?”

Alex sighed as he shook his head, “No, not yet. Gab said he’s still kind of a mess right now because of the medication changes. She mostly talks to his case worker, I think.”

I nodded in understanding. Knowing that he hadn’t reached out to Alex either did offer some reassurances that it wasn’t just me. It hurt me beyond words to know that he was having such a hard time with the medication changes. I hoped, for his sake, that it did not last much longer. 

Alex moved to hand me the large parcel he was holding. I took it as I gave him a questioning look. I noticed his eyes lit up slightly before he gave me a smirk.

“It’s the painting from the art fundraiser.”

I knitted my brows together as I took it from him, ripping the front of the paper to reveal the painting that had turned me into an emotional mess that night. Once I had it completely unwrapped, I set it against the wall and stepped back to look at it. I realized there was something very familiar about the two figures.

More after the image

I turned to Alex, who still had the same smirk on his face, “I don’t understand. How did he know about the painting?”

His smirk slowly turned into a wide smile, “He painted it. He wanted to surprise you with it that night, but obviously that didn’t work out…”

I put my hand to my mouth, gasping audibly. Now I understood the reason I felt drawn to it that night. The two figures were us. I could feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, threatening to make their escape.

“I don’t understand, when did he have time to do this? We were together constantly before he left for Canada.”

Alex moved to stand next to me, “He started it right after he got back from New York. He took a break when he went to film that movie in Mallorca but picked it up again when he got back…before he found you again.”

I chuckled in disbelief, “Well this certainly adds a whole other layer of feelings that I wasn’t expecting.”

“I know he did a lot of it at night, when he couldn’t sleep. He told me he couldn’t get you out of his head. I’m pretty sure he fell in love with you that first night you spilled your drink all over him. He wouldn’t stop talking about you, so I encouraged him to look you up. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life seen him so nervous to do something,” Alex let out a small laugh at the memory.

I didn’t even try to hold the tears back after that. How could I? It said so much about Dieter’s feelings. Alex glanced over at me, realizing my emotional state. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a gentle side hug.

“This is the first painting he’s done in years…just so you know. You definitely woke up something inside of him. We could all see it. I really hope you two can make it work once he gets out of that place. I think you’re good for each other.”

I was taken aback by Alex’s candor regarding his brother. His words were so unexpected given how quiet and shy he always was around me. I appreciated the fact that he felt comfortable enough to open up to me some.

“I’m not sure how much I’m supposed to tell you, but fuck it, you should know. The nickname he gave you, and that phrase… la estrella del norte, la luz en la oscuridad…that’s something our mother used to say to our father. So, to me and Gabby, it’s a big deal that he used that. We’ve never heard him say it to anyone before.”

I couldn’t help the way my face scrunched up at his words. I was one hundred percent about to ugly cry. I put my hand over my eyes to hide it as Alex pulled me in for a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said into the top of my hair.

“No, I’m not upset. This is a happy cry. It’s just…touching, I guess. I didn’t know that. This is a lot of information to take in and process. Thank you for telling me. I really needed this right now.”

Alex backed away and gave both of my shoulders a gentle squeeze and offered a small smile.

“Well, I won’t keep you any longer. Let Lauren know when you're free and feeling up to it and we can grab some dinner, yeah?”

I nodded and gave him a small smile as I walked him to the door.

After Alex left, I sat down on the floor in front of the painting, taking in every paint stroke. To the casual observer, it was probably just a nice painting of a couple in an embrace under the night sky. I, however, understood the subtle symbolism of the fog and darkness that surrounded the man, but not the woman and the bright star placed just above the woman in the background. The fact that something so simple could say so much was amazing to me. It had me feeling every emotion all at once.

I could not believe the origin of the nickname he had given me, or that he had started working on the painting well before he found me again. I always felt like there was more to the name, but I was not expecting that. He obviously had strong feelings toward me from the start. Looking back, I could no longer justify my reasoning for not being with him from the beginning. I hated that we had missed out on all of that time together.

I had a lot of thoughts swirling through my head that evening. I spent more time than I probably should have staring at that painting, but it was forcing me to process things that I had been avoiding. By the time I finally pulled myself up from the floor, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I went to bed after that and suffered through a night of restless sleep.

Sixty days after Dieter entered Sanctuary Hills, Gabby received a call from him, after mostly only communicating with his case worker over the past two months. He asked her to attend an in-person family counseling session there at the facility. She immediately agreed and got it scheduled. The day it happened; I was an anxious mess while I awaited news about the visit. He still hadn’t called me, or anyone else for that matter. We didn’t really understand why, but his case worker assured us that he was making progress and doing well. He was trying hard to focus on getting better and working through things a little at a time. He was very focused on his healing journey and doing everything that was asked of him. It was hard for me to understand it, being so far away and consumed by worries, but I was proud of him just the same. I was excited to know he was finally requesting to see his family and was hopeful that was a positive sign. 

As it got later into the evening, I was beginning to get concerned since I hadn’t heard from Gabby yet. She had promised to call when she left Sanctuary Hills. I sent her a few texts but did not get a response. I was about to try giving her a call when I heard a knock at the door. I was surprised to see that it was Gabby. The look on her face made my stomach drop. The fact that she hadn’t called and was now showing up with this look on her face couldn’t be a good sign. There was no greeting. She jumped right to the point, “Talia, I’m sorry to just show up, but can we talk? I don’t know who else to talk about this with and I need to talk about it.”

“Yeah, come in.”

We both walked over and sat on the couch. My hands were already fidgeting as the nerves and anticipation quickly built up. Every scenario running through my mind was scary and I wasn’t sure I could handle whatever it was she was about to say. Gabby immediately burst out into sobs. I pulled her into a hug as I tried to suppress my own panic.

“Gabby, I need for you to tell me what’s going on before I have a fucking stroke over here,” I said into her hair. She sighed heavily before pulling away to look at me.

“Dieter told me what happened that night, with mom. I wasn’t prepared for it. I can’t believe he kept that to himself all these years and it fucking kills me that I didn’t do more to support him in dealing with it. I didn’t know he was the one who found her. I always thought it was one of the workers.”

Her sobs continued as I digested her words. I felt instant relief that it wasn’t something worse, something I didn’t know of yet, but at the same time my heart broke for her. I know it had to be hard for her to hear. Hell, it was hard for me to hear.

“I’m sorry, no one else knows about it. I didn’t know who else I could talk to about it. He told me that you knew… I just needed a minute to fall apart and process it before I go home.”

“Hey, take all the time you need. I know it’s a lot to digest,” I said as I rubbed gentle circles on her back. 

“I just wished he would have opened up sooner and shared that burden with me. Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten so bad if he had. I should have tried harder to make him talk to me about it.”

“Gabby, I don’t think it would have mattered what you said to him. He wasn’t gonna talk until he was ready.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I just feel terrible that I didn’t know. I don’t think anyone did. I bet dad didn’t even know.”

After a few minutes of silence, she seemed to pull herself together. She reached over to grab my free hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as she smiled up at me.

“He looks so good though…healthy and alert. I really think the treatment is helping. He’s expressing his feelings so well…I - I’m honestly not sure I’ve ever heard him talk that much about how he feels.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as happy tears slid down my cheeks.

“He said he’s gonna call you soon. He’s nervous to talk to you for some reason and embarrassed about this whole thing. I told him he didn’t need to be, but you know how he is. He misses you though, I could tell. I lost track of how many times he asked about you.”

I reached up with both hands to wipe the tears from my face. It was comforting to know that he was thinking about me. I knew it was selfish of me to think that way because he should be focusing on himself, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel better about things.

Gabby didn’t share much more of what they had talked about. Some of it was things he wanted to talk to me about himself, so I didn’t want to push for more details. Once she finally felt composed, she left for home. She had had a long day of travel and was exhausted.

She and I had gotten so close in the last two months. We had been spending a lot of our free time together, along with Lauren and Alex. It truly felt like I was part of a family with them. I loved that she was now comfortable enough with me to share her feelings openly. It was something we had all been doing since Dieter had been away. Even Alex had opened up more. Even though what had happened to Dieter was devastating, there was a silver lining in it. It had brought us all closer together. We were stronger for it and ready to welcome him home to all the support he could possibly need.

The next morning, I had just finished making a quick breakfast when my cell phone started ringing. When I glanced over at the illuminated screen, I saw it was a Tucson, Arizona number. I had waited two months to see this number appear on the screen. My breath immediately caught in my throat as my eyes teared up. I briefly hesitated to answer as the nerves took hold. After a deep breath I hit the answer button and raised the phone to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Talia?”

A/N: Y'all still with me? How are you feeling after that one? Progress? Maybe? As I have said before, digital art is not one of my strengths, but hopefully what I attempted to do gives you an idea of what I see in my head for Dieter's painting. Again, this one looks better in my head too. LOL! Wasn't that a sweet moment between Talia and Alex though? Also, that moment between Dieter and Alex hit me in the feels too. Then of course, the whole of the Dieter and Talia interactions in this chapter. Poor Gabby... now she knows everything. So many feels in this one! Aaaahhh!😭 Next chapter our dear Dieter and Talia will be reunited in a controlled setting to work through their issues together. It will probably be another rough one. We will get Dieter's official diagnosis and with that you will get a Deconstructing Dieter Bravo post. We will get some details on Talia's past which will also include a Today's Musings post for supplemental reading. So, you will get all sorts of goodies with the next chapter. 😉 In case you missed it, I have included the mood board for this chapter below. Last but not least, a huge thank you to my wonderful beta, @for-a-longlongtime. Seriously, it wouldn't be as good without her feedback. As always, please share your thoughts and theories. You know I'm a sucker for them. 💜

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[voiceoffenrisulfr]

Slam

Following an injury in the field, Bucky goes to check on Steve in the infirmary and confesses his feelings and his fears.

CW: Minor injury, smut, first time. Don’t forget to use lube, folks – unless you’re a super soldier.

Prompts used;

‘Bad Coping Mechanisms’, ‘Mutual Pining’ and ‘Wall Sex’ – Build-a-Bucky Bingo (@buckybarnesevents);

“You Look So Pretty Like This.” and ‘Muscles’ – @stuckybingo;

“I’m Right Where I Belong.” and “You Getting Flustered is One of the Cutest Things I’ve Seen.” – @sebastianstanbingo.

Check it out on AO3 here, or below! Boards at the bottom. Banner by @sarahowritesostucky

Bucky raced through the corridors, the serum’s power flowing through him as his feet pounded the linoleum, heart hammering in his chest.

As soon as the news of Steve’s injury had reached him, he’d been up and running, with fear he hadn’t felt in decades pulsing in his veins. Ever since Steve had been bulked up in the war, Bucky had been able to slowly let go of the terror for Steve’s longevity that had plagued him since he’d met the kid at six years old, scrawny but surprisingly bold – and prone to getting his ass kicked. But the serum Steve had received had made the once-tiny man a hulking mass of muscle and sinew, invulnerable to most things thrown at him, and Bucky had finally been able to relax a little – though he still worried about his childhood friend more than any other member of the team.

Bucky blamed it on their longstanding connection and the camaraderie born from being the only two super soldiers, both displaced from their own time by time in ice (and servitude, in Bucky’s case). It was a miracle they were both here, together, a hundred years in the future and experiencing things they never even dreamt of.

That was it, Bucky argued, when he lay awake at night thinking of the skinny kid from Brooklyn, the strong man he’d grown into. He argued it was appreciation of the smooth curves of muscle that had him fantasising about the water flowing over his back when he’d glimpsed him in the shower after a training session. It was simply concern that had him inspecting his Captain’s bare chest when his suit had been ripped in battle, checking thoroughly for cuts and scrapes.

He'd argued, but it was as he was skidding to a halt and slamming through the infirmary doors that it finally hit him that his argument was a lie.

The sight of Steve lay on the thin medical paper, his back to the doors as Bruce finished stitching a deep wound above his hipbone, had Bucky pausing and panting for breath. It’d been a long time since he’d managed to move so quickly that he was forced to breathe harder, but his strides had barely touched the floor as he’d flown towards his teammate.

“Hey, Buck.”

The Winter Soldier cocked his head sharply, smiling just a little to himself as he saw Steve’s muscles relax minutely. “How did you know it was me?”

“Heard you running. Anyone else would be far more breathless – and definitely couldn’t move so fast.” The grin in Steve’s voice was audible, and Bucky chuckled, moving closer slowly.

“Yeah, well. Nat messaged, and she wasn’t liberal with the details. All I knew was that you’d been hurt.”

“Worried, were you?” Steve’s shoulders trembled as he laughed silently, making Bucky snort as he rounded the table, casting an assessing eye over the shallow lacerations marring the Captain’s bare chest as he took a seat.

“Actually, I was hoping to get here in time to pull the plug,” Bucky quipped, grinning, and Steve rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Your life wouldn’t be worth living without me in it, and you know it,” Steve teased back, lips quirked in a fond smile before he grimaced as the doctor tied off his thread. Buck reached out automatically, squeezing Steve’s hand reassuringly, heat tingling up his palm at the contact. He’d done this dozens of times as a youth, Steve’s fingers clinging desperately to his as the larger boy had carefully cleaned yet another split lip or scraped palm, but it felt different now, with Steve’s palm comparable to his and Bucky’s metal fingers cool against his skin – and Steve’s pulse beginning to pound at the contact.

“I’m all done here,” Bruce murmured, gently pressing an adhesive bandage to the suture line. “Keep it covered and dry for a few days, and the stitches should dissolve in a week or so. You’ll be good as new by then.” The doctor grinned, shaking his head fondly. “If only all of my patients recovered so quickly!”

Steve chuckled obligingly, pulling the edge of his suit a little higher to obscure both bandage and sharp curve of bone. “You’d be out of a job, Dr. Banner. Thanks again,” he added as Bruce rose, receiving a polite inclination of the head for his gratitude.

The boys were left alone, fingers still entwined together, Steve fiddling with the ragged edges of his clothing idly. “I’m gonna have to get a new suit… This one got pretty shredded.”

Bucky laughed, running a palm over the lacerated star hanging over the edge of the table. “What the hell happened to you?”

“I got thrown. Road rash sucks,” the Captain replied with a shrug, and groaned as he pushed himself into a sitting position. “But you heard Bruce – I’ll be good as new in a few days.”

James nodded, eventually releasing his friend’s hand with a discreet twitch of his jaw. “Yeah. You were always the strong one.” Steve snorted and raised an eyebrow, considering his fellow soldier pointedly, but Bucky only laughed and shook his head. “Maybe, when we were younger, I could pick up something heavier than you. But you were always so… Tough. You weren’t scared of anything.” He smiled softly, head tilted minutely. “Actually, no. You were scared, but you always stood up for yourself anyway. You never let anyone keep you down or underestimate you. That’s real strength.”

Steve chuckled, his cheeks pinkening minutely as he looked away. “Not always,” he muttered, hands knotting uncertainly in his lap. “There were some things I just… I didn’t fight when the insults and assumptions started flying.”

“The assumptions?” Bucky repeated softly, head cocked. When Steve only shrugged, Bucky leaned forward conspiratorially. “You getting flustered is one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

Steve blinked in surprise, his back straightening nervously. “I-I… What?”

Bucky smiled softly, leaning a little closer. “Those assumptions… Do you mean the ones about your sexuality?”

Steve hesitated for a moment, eyeing his friend nervously. “… You heard about that?”

The sergeant arched an eyebrow, head inclined. “Of course, Stevie. You’re my best friend. Besides… We spent a whole lot of time together. It wasn’t just you that they made those assumptions about.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve replied quickly, looking away as guilt creased his features, but Bucky simply chuckled.

“Don’t be. They were right.”

The words sat in the still air for a moment before they collided visibly with the Captain, sending him jerking backwards in shock.

“They- You- … What?” Steve stammered, his eyes widening in shock.

“I’m gay,” Bucky replied easily, shrugging. “Well, no – I’m bisexual. But we both know it’s not the women you were asking about.” Steve’s mouth worked wordlessly, and Bucky smirked. “So? What about you? Were they right about you, too?”

Steve glanced around uncertainly, examining the empty space as if checking for someone hiding in the shadows. “… Why did you come so quickly, Buck?”

“I asked you first.”

“I’m trying to answer. Humour me. Why did you come so quickly?” he repeated, looking down to where his fingers were knotted in his lap.

“Because… Because I care about you?” Bucky offered uncertainly, and Steve nodded, eyes diverted.

“As a friend?” he prompted quietly. Bucky hesitated for a moment, watching as his Captain struggled silently to find the words he was looking for. “… I’m not gay, Buck.” The sergeant blushed minutely, opening his mouth to respond, but Steve held up a hand to stop him. “But I’m not straight, either. I… I’ve only ever wanted to be with – been in love with – one person. After all these years… It’s still only ever been one person.”

Bucky sat silently for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was soft, apprehensive. “Who?”

“Don’t make me say it,” Steve replied, a wry grin quirking at his lips.

Bucky reached out, fingers finding his best friend’s once more, swallowing nervously. “Tell me, Stevie. Please.”

Steve glanced up at last, the brush draining from his cheeks with the sincerity of the moment, ice meeting cerulean in an all-encompassing gaze. “You, Bucky. It’s always been you.”

The words released a feral urgency in his fellow soldier, moving forward to kiss him in a clash of lips and tongues, a low whine escaping the brunette as he tangled his metal fingers in the other’s hair.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” Bucky muttered, shifting to trail kisses over the broader man’s jaw, his free hand finding Steve’s hip to pull him closer. “I can’t believe I wasted so much time trying to bury my feelings in drinking and whoring…”

Steve nodded weakly, head instinctively tipping back under his sergeant’s rapturous ministrations. “I-I… I never knew you… I never expected…” He swallowed audibly, hips twitching as his arousal became ever more evident under the skin-tight material of his uniform. Bucky let out a quiet groan of desire, fingers trailing over Steve’s hipbone slowly – but the blond grasped his wrist as his fingertips brushed against his increasingly stiffening length. “Wait.”

Bucky winced, drawing back with a quick, apologetic shake of his head. “I-I’m sorry. We don’t have to, of course, I-”

Steve kissed his lover softly to interrupt him, shaking his head with a smile. “I want to,” he breathed, his fingers finding the back of Bucky’s neck to press their foreheads together. “I’ve just- I… I’ve never…”

Bucky’s face went blank as comprehension dawned, lips parting minutely. “You… Oh.” A smile flickered across his features, and he cupped Steve’s jaw gently. “That’s fine, sweet boy. We go as slow as you like, and do as much or as little as you want. It’s all up to you.”

Steve nodded slowly, then more firmly, and pulled Bucky back to him by the neck of his t-shirt, crushing his lips desperately against the taller man’s.

Buck’s hands were gentle as they explored the Captain’s bare chest, tracing the dips and curves of bone and muscle reverently, mapping each detail and committing every modicum of minutiae to memory – just in case. Steve shivered under his touch, the hand on the back of the sergeant’s neck drawing him closer as he lay back, gasping at the thigh that pressed lightly against his throbbing length.

“Buck, please,” he whispered, tugging gently at the other man’s shirt, purring with delight when the material was shed and dropped to the floor. His hands fumbled with the taller man’s belt, hesitating only minutely before pressing a palm to Bucky’s boxer-clad member and blushing shyly at the relieved groan the motion elicited.

Buck’s lips trailed slowly along jaw and throat, over Steve’s collarbone, proceeding patiently over chest and stomach. Bucky’s knees met the floor as his fingers curled in the waistband of the other man’s underwear. He glanced up to receive clarification, and when he was offered a nod, nervous but sure, he slowly slid Steve’s boxers down, trailing gentle kisses in their wake. When he looked up again to take in his Captain in all his glory, his mouth ran dry, tongue darting out to wet his lips in anticipation. He rocked on his heels for a moment, enjoying the sight for a little longer before falling forward, growling hungrily. His mouth encompassed Steve’s length quickly, eliciting a gasp and a whimper from the soldier pinned to the table, his hands tangling frantically in Bucky’s wild hair.

“I- Oh, Buck, th-that’s so…” Steve trailed off into a desperate moan, his back arching instinctively to press himself deeper. Bucky, in his experience, simply swallowed around his amateur partner’s erratic thrusts to take him into his throat, hands finding his hips to help smoothen his pace, earning a quiet, stammering exclamation for his efforts. The feeling of Bucky’s tongue massaging the underside of his cock as it passed between expert, kiss-flushed lips had him quivering and mewling uselessly until the sergeant pulled back, oceanic eyes dancing with joy. “Good?”

Steve all but sobbed in his pleasure, raising his head to nod weakly. “A-Amazing. Please, honey, Buck… I want… I need…”

“Anything you want, baby boy,” Bucky purred, wrapping a loose, coaxing hand around Steve’s length while he spoke – but unable to keep from leaning in intermittently to pass tongue or lips over the leaking tip, delighting in the gasps and jerks the simple gesture invoked. “You just say the word, and I-”

“I want to make love to you,” Steve interrupted softly, pink tinging his cheeks as he spoke, his twitching cock betraying his enthusiasm. Bucky blinked in surprise before smiling tenderly with an amused shake of his head.

“And here I’d had you pinned as a bottom… What a pleasant surprise,” Bucky breathed, powerless to stop one of his hands from grinding against the straining in his sweatpants desperately, eyes blown wide with lust. “I’ve thought about you fucking me so many times…” He winced minutely, expecting a reprimand from his straight-laced captain for his language, but the blond simply smiled.

“I may be inexperienced, Buck, but I’ve overheard enough sleeping in the room next to Tony’s to expect a little cussing in these situations.”

Bucky simply nodded, standing to pull his shirt over his head, and Steve gulped. He’d seen the brunette in varying degrees of undress on countless occasions, but always he had kept his eyes diverted and downcast, never looking up for fear he would give himself away. But now he could let his gaze roam freely, taking in the curve of the sinew and muscle, of strong arms and well-defined pecs, his expression softening minutely as he took in the puckered ridge of scar where flesh met metal. Bucky shifted self-consciously, raising a hand to rub uncertainly at the marred skin, and Steve pushed himself quickly to his feet, catching the other man’s fingers. “Hey… You’re beautiful, he whispered, dropping his head to pepper kisses along the seam reverently.

Bucky stiffened infinitesimally, relaxation gradually easing the tension in his muscles, a soft sigh escaping parted lips as his eyes closed. “I want you, Steve,” he breathed, fingertips trailing through the short hair adoringly.

Steve could only nod in response, hands fumbling with Bucky’s belt as he dropped to his knees, one flushed, pink lip pulled between his teeth. His breath ghosted over the bulge in the sergeant’s boxers, making the taller man shiver with delight. With a slow, nervous exhale, he wrapped his fingers in Bucky’s waistband, eyes widening minutely as the soldier’s cock was freed at last. Bucky smirked, hand resting gently on Steve’s head, letting out a quiet groan as the barest flick of a tongue passed over his tip. “Please, baby boy, I need you to-”

Bucky’s words were interrupted by his own sharp yelp as Steve clumsily but enthusiastically took him, his inexperience making him gag at the depth, but he recovered to bob his head just as eagerly. The taller man groaned, hand knotting in pale strands, head falling back as he attempted to guide his needy lover into smoother motions, but Steve grasped desperately at his hips, still frantically attempting to take Bucky’s length deeper. “Easy, Stevie,” he breathed, shifting one hand to cup the other man’s jaw tenderly, smiling at the soft whine around his cock. “You really want it deeper, hm?” Steve blinked balefully up at him, tongue still eagerly caressing every inch available, and the sergeant chuckled quietly, gently raising Steve’s chin slightly. “Swallow,” he murmured, pushing forward slowly, using the rhythmic motion of his lover’s obedience to sheath himself fully in Steve’s throat with a shudder. “Fuck, baby boy- so goddamn hot… You look so pretty like this…” His eyes found the other man’s, the pale blue shining with joy, lips parted wide around his cock, and Bucky could have come undone simply at the sight. Steve could only mewl with satisfaction, lashes flickering in pleasure as Bucky rocked his hips, driving his length into his Captain’s throat before drawing back just far enough to let him snatch a breath.

It didn’t take long for the brunette’s muscles to begin to tremble and clench, incensed by the sight of his lover stretched and kneeling before him. The fingers in his hair tensed, and Steve’s eyebrow twitched questioningly. “I-I can’t- I’ll- I can’t hold out,” Bucky stuttered, the rock of his hips become spasmodic – but Steve simply dug his fingers into the other man’s flesh, groaning encouragingly. Bucky hissed with the realisation, free hand joining the first, holding Steve’s head still as his thrusts became more forceful. The feeling of soft whimpers vibrating around his length spurred him on, and he stammered out a quick warning before burying himself deeply, fingernails catching  against scalp as he pinned his submissive Captain against him. “Fuck, Steve- Stevie!”

Steve’s eyes closed in pleasure as his sergeant emptied with a guttural groan, swallowing eagerly, licking his lips as his trembling partner drew back at last. “Thank you,” Bucky breathed, unclenching his hand to smooth the messy blond strands tenderly. Steve opened his eyes to meet his gaze, hesitating only briefly before scrambling to his feet to pin the brunette to the wall, earning a grunt of surprise and a dry gulp.

“I’m going to fuck you,” Cap growled, one hand wrapping lightly around his sergeant’s throat, smiling when a quiet whimper and desperate nod came in response. Bucky groaned as he was turned quickly, hands flat to the wall and ass offered willingly, the Captain’s cock pressing against him teasingly. Steve spat in his palm and slicked his length quickly, one hand steadying himself with his lover’s hip as he lined himself up.

“Please- Please, Stevie, I need you, I want you- please, just-” Bucky moaned needily as Steve pressed inside him roughly, his forehead finding the other man’s metal shoulder as he groaned.

“Bucky- Buck, honey, you feel so good…” he grunted, dragging out slowly before slamming home once more. Slowly at first, the movements of his cock inside the taller man felt incredible, the spark of discomfort from the lack of preparation or real lubricant fading quickly until Bucky was rutting back desperately, trying in vain to increase the pace. “Sweet boy, you’re so eager!”

“Yes- God, yes Sir, please, Stevie- Cap, I need you to fuck me, baby boy,” Bucky panted, fingers curling against the plaster. Steve’s fingers found his, pinning his metal hand to the wall either side of his head, while the other wrapped around his already-stiffening cock, stroking him in time as he thrusted harder. Bucky yelped in surprise, back arching. He’d been fucked many times in his life – but never by someone whose strength parallelled his own, his very bones creaking under the strain as Steve pounded against him with bruising ferocity.

Steve was lost in the heat fizzing through his veins; there was nothing but this, the feeling of Bucky wrapped around him, tight and hot, the air full of the scent of sex and the lewd sounds falling from their lips. This was everything he’d ever wanted, and he found his body reacting automatically, knowing just what to do as he drove himself deeper, their hands on the wall creating cracks in the plaster under the power.

“So beautiful – so good, James – I love you,” Steve groaned, fisting his sergeant’s cock faster as he felt his climax approaching, too far gone and too eager to slow down, to take his time in this. Bucky simply whimpered in response, his forehead pressed to the plaster, soft sobs of overwhelming pleasure falling from his lips between pleas and gratitude, rutting  back against each perfect thrust. “Please- Stevie, fuck, just like that- I-I’m going- I-” His spine arched as he came without warning, painting both his lover’s hand and the wall before him, muscles clenching around Steve’s length.

Steve wrapped an arm around his partner’s waist, dragging him against his chest as he fucked him harder still, groaning out a plea for mercy into Bucky’s throat as he finally, blissfully, emptied himself inside his sergeant.

Bucky lay panting with his head on Steven’s chest, sweat-damp and exhausted, his backside bruised, entirely blissful.

“D’you want to get up?” Steve murmured, tracing his fingers gently down his lover’s spine, earning a lazy shake of the head.

“I’m right where he belong,” Bucky whispered in response, pressing a tender kiss to the bare skin under his cheek.

#fanfiction #mine #fandom: marvel #writers on tumblr #writing bingo #rating: e #pwp #stucky smut #bucky barnes x steve rogers #plot what plot #smut #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan bingo #sexy seabass #stucky bingo #build a bucky bingo 2023 #bucky barnes events

[muiitoloko]

Like father Like Son

Summary: After all, Eli and Barkley had more in common than Eli realized.

Pairing: Eli Michaelson × Fem! Reader

Warnings: Neglectful father, obsession, betrayal, manipulation, forbiden love and seduction.

Author's Note: ⚠️ PLEASE READ FOR CONTEXT ⚠️ In this one-shot, I've taken some liberties with the plot of the movie "Nobel Son." Certain events from the original storyline have been omitted or altered, particularly regarding the relationship between Sarah and Eli. In this version, Sarah and Eli separate shortly after Eli's Nobel Prize win, and Eli's subsequent efforts to improve his relationship with Barkley take precedence. Please, if I forgot to mention any warnings, let me know.

Second part here.

It had been a year since Eli parted ways with Sarah, the divorce coming on the heels of his Nobel Prize win. While some might have mourned the loss of a relationship, Eli couldn't care less about the divorce itself. Sure, he missed the morning sex, but the freedom to pursue his affairs without the need for secrecy outweighed any sense of loss he might have felt.

Sarah had taken half of his possessions in the settlement, but Eli didn't mind. Material possessions were inconsequential to a man of his stature. What did bother him, though, was the occasional pang of loneliness that crept up when he found himself alone in his grandiose home. Despite his vast network of acquaintances and lovers, there were moments when the emptiness of his surroundings felt suffocating.

His son Barkley's visits provided some semblance of companionship, but their relationship remained strained and fraught with tension. Eli made an effort to connect with Barkley, to bridge the chasm that had formed between them over the years. But try as he might, he couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment and frustration that accompanied his interactions with his son.

"Barkley is so idiot," Eli would mutter to himself, his tone dripping with disdain and resentment. In his eyes, Barkley was a disappointment, a failure who couldn't measure up to his father's lofty expectations. No matter how hard Eli tried to instill in him the values of ambition and success, Barkley always seemed to fall short.

But finally, Barkley seemed to do something right in life. One day, he announced to Eli that he wanted to introduce his girlfriend to his father and asked if they could go out to dinner. Eli reluctantly accepted, not at all interested in the prospect, but he went anyway, just wanting to have some semblance of fun amidst his mundane existence.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Barkley welcomed his girlfriend with a kiss, and Eli couldn't help but be enchanted. You was stunning, absolutely breathtaking. The dress you wore clung to your curves in all the right places, accentuating your beauty in a way that left Eli momentarily speechless.

"Oh, fuck," Eli muttered under his breath, his gaze lingering on her with a mixture of desire and admiration. You was his type, completely and utterly, and he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from your.

Barkley smiled proudly as he introduced you to his father, Eli Michaelson, the Nobel prize winner. You blushed, feeling a rush of excitement and nerves at meeting such a renowned figure in the field of chemistry. For someone passionate about science like yourself, the opportunity to converse with a Nobel laureate was nothing short of surreal.

"Doctor Michaelson, it's an honor to meet you," you said, your voice tinged with genuine admiration as you extended your hand to him. Eli studied you with keen interest, his gaze piercing and intense as he took in your shy demeanor and flushed cheeks.

"The pleasure is mine," Eli replied, his voice smooth and confident as he shook your hand with a firm grip. "I must say, Barkley has spoken very highly of you. It's not often he brings someone home to meet his old man."

Barkley chuckled nervously beside you, his arm draped casually around your chair as he sought to bridge the gap between his father and his girlfriend. Despite the tension that lingered between them, Barkley seemed determined to make the evening a success, to prove to his father that he was capable of making his own choices in life.

As the three of you settled into dinner, Barkley made a concerted effort to keep the conversation flowing, ensuring that both you and his father were engaged and included in the discussion. You found yourself relaxing in his presence, his easy charm and infectious enthusiasm putting you at ease despite your initial nerves.

Eli, too, seemed to warm to the conversation, his usual air of arrogance giving way to a genuine interest in getting to know you better. He peppered you with questions about your academic pursuits, your interests, and your aspirations, his sharp mind probing for any hint of weakness or vulnerability.

But to Eli's surprise, you held your own admirably, your passion for chemistry shining through as you spoke animatedly about your research and your dreams for the future. Despite your shyness, there was a quiet confidence about you, a strength of character that intrigued Eli more than he cared to admit.

And as the evening wore on, Eli found himself increasingly drawn to you, captivated by your intelligence and charm. He couldn't understand how his idiot son had managed to find someone like you, someone who was clearly out of his league in every respect. You deserved better, someone who could appreciate you for the remarkable woman you were.

Eli's mind wandered, consumed by vivid fantasies of you writhing beneath him, your soft moans filling the air as you whispered his name in ecstasy. He could already picture the way your body would arch beneath his touch, the way your skin would flush with desire as he claimed you as his own.

But his reverie was abruptly interrupted by the sight of Barkley leaning into you, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered something that made you blush furiously. Eli's jaw clenched with barely concealed frustration as he watched the intimate exchange between you and his son, a surge of possessiveness coursing through him at the thought of Barkley touching you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Though he couldn't hear what Barkley was saying, Eli didn't need to. The way your cheeks flushed and your eyes darted nervously around the room spoke volumes, betraying the intimate nature of the conversation. It wasn't difficult to guess what Barkley was up to, most likely whispering something dirty in your ear to make you squirm and blush with embarrassment.

Eli's grip on his fork tightened involuntarily, the metal digging into his palm as he fought to suppress the surge of jealousy that threatened to overwhelm him. He had never been one to tolerate competition, especially not from his own son, and the thought of Barkley encroaching on his territory filled him with a primal rage that bordered on madness.

But even as his anger simmered beneath the surface, Eli remained outwardly composed, his expression carefully neutral as he observed the exchange between you and Barkley with detached interest. He didn't even notice when his grip on his fork tightened, the metal bending under the pressure of his fingers as he struggled to maintain his composure.

In that moment, all Eli could think about was you, and the overwhelming desire to possess you, body and soul. He would have you, one way or another, consequences be damned. For in the twisted mind of Eli Michaelson, nothing and no one would stand in the way of what he wanted most.

As the days passed, Eli found himself consumed by thoughts of you, the object of his desire. Your image lingered in his mind, haunting his waking hours and infiltrating his dreams. He longed to have you, to possess you in every way imaginable.

On the days when Barkley visited, bringing you along with him, Eli's anticipation soared to dizzying heights. Every moment in your presence was a precious gift, one he cherished and savored with every fiber of his being. Your laughter, your scent, the way your eyes sparkled with mischief—all of it fueled his insatiable hunger for you.

In the privacy of his lavish bathroom, Eli succumbed to his fantasies, unable to resist the temptation to indulge in the pleasure of imagining you with him. His hands roamed over his body, tracing the contours of his desire, as he conjured vivid scenarios in which you were his and his alone.

But with each passing day, Eli's longing intensified, morphing into an all-consuming obsession that threatened to consume him whole. He cursed the cruel twist of fate that had bestowed upon him such forbidden desires, lamenting the fact that he and Barkley shared the same taste in women.

It was during one of Barkley's visits that Eli finally made his move, unable to ignore the primal urge that pulsed through his veins. With a calculated blend of charm and cunning, he began to plant seeds of doubt in Barkley's mind, subtly sowing discord in the relationship between his son and you.

Perhaps, Eli mused, he and Barkley were not so different after all. Both driven by their desires, both willing to do whatever it took to claim what they wanted as their own. And as he watched the cracks begin to form in Barkley's facade, Eli felt a twisted sense of satisfaction wash over him.

As Eli entered the living room, his frustration simmered beneath the surface. He watched as you and Barkley engaged in lively conversation, your laughter filling the room with warmth. But his annoyance at being left to handle dinner alone gnawed at him, threatening to overshadow his growing infatuation with you.

"Hey, Barkley," Eli began, his tone tinged with irritation. "Could you lend me a hand with dinner? It seems I'm flying solo tonight."

Barkley shrugged nonchalantly. "Sorry, Dad. I'm not exactly a culinary expert."

Eli's lips formed a thin line, but before he could respond, you intervened, your voice soft and apologetic. "I can help, Doctor Michaelson. I'm sorry for not offering sooner."

A flicker of amusement danced in Eli's eyes as he handed you an apron. "Ah, none of that 'Doctor Michaelson' nonsense anymore. Call me Mr. Michaelson. I've earned it," he teased, a mischievous glint in his eye.

You chuckled, the sound like music to Eli's ears, as you tied the apron around your waist. "Alright, Mr. Michaelson. What can I do to assist?"

Eli grinned, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of working alongside you. "First things first, we'll need to chop these vegetables. Care to lend me a hand?"

You nodded, following him to the kitchen and standing next to him, with graceful and fluid movements, Eli couldn't help but feel a wave of admiration for you. He took the opportunity to address the issue that had been weighing on his mind.

"So, how are things going between you and Barkley?" he asked, his voice casual yet tinged with curiosity.

You hesitated for a moment, your expression guarded, before finally admitting, "We've been... having some disagreements lately. But I'm hopeful we can work through them."

Eli studied you intently, sensing there was more beneath the surface. "Are you sure about that?" he pressed gently, his gaze searching yours for any sign of deception.

You sighed softly, your shoulders slumping ever so slightly. "Honestly, Mr. Michaelson, I'm not sure. But I'm willing to try."

A flicker of sympathy flashed in Eli's eyes as he reached out to squeeze your hand reassuringly. "Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. And who knows," he added with a playful wink, "maybe we can make this dinner a regular occurrence. Just you, me, and a whole lot of vegetables."

You smiled, almost all your shyness disappearing around Eli. With each visit, you were starting to get more comfortable with him, but there was still a lingering sense of bashfulness. After all, Eli was a brilliant man, particularly in chemistry, and you couldn't help but admire the feats he had achieved so far.

As you continued cutting the vegetables, oblivious to how Eli was leering at your ass whenever he had the chance, you focused on the task at hand. But suddenly, he interrupted you, claiming that you were cutting them wrong. Before you could protest, he stood behind you and took hold of your hand that held the knife, instructing you on how he wanted the vegetables to be cut.

His presence so close behind you sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but blush at the sudden intimacy. His baritone voice rang in your ear as he guided your hand, his touch igniting a flurry of conflicting emotions within you.

While Barkley was tall with an athletic body, Eli was still tall but carried more weight, giving him a thicker, more robust appearance. His hands were large and thick, a stark contrast to Barkley's leaner physique. For a moment, you couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to have those hands caressing you, those thick fingers sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

But as quickly as the thought entered your mind, panic set in. What were you thinking? Eli was Barkley's father, and these thoughts were entirely inappropriate. With a sudden jolt, you pulled away from Eli, the knife slipping from your grasp as you stumbled backward.

"Oh my god," you stammered, cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I-I'm so sorry, Doctor Michaelson. I didn't mean to... I mean, I..."

Eli's expression softened, a knowing glint in his eyes as he reached out to steady you. "It's alright, my dear. Accidents happen," he said reassuringly, though there was a hint of something else in his voice, something that made your heart race.

But as you regained your composure and resumed chopping the vegetables, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the air. The momentary lapse in judgment had left you shaken, and you made a mental note to keep your thoughts in check around Eli in the future.

Little did you know, however, that Eli had taken notice of your reaction and was already concocting a plan to exploit the newfound vulnerability between you. For in the twisted game of desire, there were no rules, and Eli was determined to emerge victorious at any cost.

As the days passed, Eli's subtle seduction of you continued, each encounter filled with tension and unspoken desire. He made it a point to subtly undermine Barkley, painting him as immature and unworthy of your affection, while positioning himself as the mature and understanding figure you needed in your life.

With each passing interaction, Eli's charm and charisma wore down your defenses, until finally, one fateful evening, the dam broke, and you found yourself succumbing to his advances.

It had been a particularly tumultuous day, filled with heated arguments and simmering tension between you and Barkley. As you sat alone at the restaurant, abandoned by Barkley after yet another fight. You sighed tiredly and paid for dinner, the weight of the evening's events pressing down on you as you gathered your belongings and headed out into the cool night air. The streets were eerily quiet, illuminated only by the soft glow of streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement.

With each step, your unease grew, amplified by the solitude of the deserted streets. The decision to walk home seemed increasingly ill-advised as the minutes ticked by, and you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.

Your pace quickened, heart pounding in your chest as you glanced over your shoulder, confirming your worst fears. Two shadowy figures lingered in the distance, their menacing gazes fixed on you like predators stalking their prey.

Panic surged through you, propelling you forward in a desperate bid to escape your pursuers. Every instinct screamed at you to run, to find safety at any cost, and you darted down side streets and alleyways in a frantic attempt to lose them.

But they were relentless, their footsteps echoing ominously behind you as they closed in with each passing moment. Fear gripped you like a vice, squeezing the air from your lungs as you raced against the clock, praying for a miracle to save you from the impending danger.

And then, just when it felt like all hope was lost, you saw him. Eli emerged from a nearby grocery store, a bag in hand, his imposing figure a beacon of hope in the darkness. Without a moment's hesitation, you rushed to his side, seeking refuge in his reassuring presence.

"Eli!" you called out, relief flooding through you as you practically threw yourself into his arms. He looked at you with confusion, concern etched into his features as he took in your shaken state.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with genuine concern as he wrapped an arm around you protectively. You explained everything in a rush, the words tumbling from your lips as you recounted the harrowing ordeal you had just endured.

Eli listened intently, his expression darkening with each passing moment as he processed the gravity of the situation. Without hesitation, he guided you to his car, a silent vow to keep you safe burning in his eyes as he ushered you inside.

As the engine roared to life and the car sped off into the night, you couldn't help but feel a profound sense of gratitude towards Eli. In a world fraught with danger and uncertainty, he had become your unlikely savior, a pillar of strength in your darkest hour.

But as Eli drove, you didn't expect him to scold you, as his stern words catching you off guard. "Why the hell were you walking alone at a time like this? Don't you know how dangerous it is for a woman to walk alone at night?"

Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you stammered to explain yourself. "I-I wasn't alone. I was with Barkley earlier tonight. We went out for dinner, but we ended up fighting again, and he left. I decided to walk back to cool down instead of picking up a taxi."

But your explanation only seemed to fuel Eli's frustration, his jaw clenched in anger. "I should teach Barkley better," he muttered under his breath, his tone laced with disappointment. "I don't understand why you're still with him."

You looked at Eli in surprise, taken aback by his harsh words. "But... Barkley is your son," you protested weakly, unsure of how to defend yourself.

Eli shook his head, his gaze piercing. "That doesn't excuse his behavior. What kind of man leaves his girlfriend walking alone at night?" he demanded, his voice brimming with righteous indignation.

You opened your mouth to retort, but Eli cut you off with a sharp gesture. "Don't you dare defend Barkley," he warned, his tone icy. "It doesn't matter if he was angry or not. He should have at least had the decency to put you in a taxi before leaving. That's what a real man does."

Silence descended upon the car, punctuated only by the hum of the engine as you mulled over Eli's words. His conviction was unwavering, his belief in what constituted acceptable behavior resolute. And yet, despite your initial resistance, a nagging doubt crept into your mind.

Why couldn't Barkley be more like his father? The thought lingered in your mind, casting a shadow over your already troubled relationship with Barkley. Perhaps, deep down, you knew that Eli was right. Perhaps you did deserve better.

But as you glanced at Eli, his profile illuminated by the soft glow of the dashboard lights, you couldn't help but wonder what lay beneath the facade of charm and charisma. For all their similarities, father and son were cut from different cloth, each harboring their own secrets and desires.

"Eli," you began tentatively, your voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you... for looking out for me."

Eli's expression softened, a flicker of something akin to warmth in his eyes. "Of course," he replied, his tone gentler than before. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

And as the car continued on its journey through the night, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope flicker within you. Perhaps, in Eli, you had found not only a protector but also a confidant, someone who understood you in a way that Barkley never could. And for the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was light at the end of the tunnel after all.

Eli stopped in front of your apartment, and you thanked him for the ride, grateful for his timely intervention. As you expressed your gratitude, Eli turned off the car engine and faced you, his expression serious yet tinged with a hint of concern.

"Be careful out there," he said softly, his hand resting on the passenger seat where you sat. "Tonight, you were lucky I was around. Thank my addiction to cigarettes and my sudden craving for ice cream, or who knows what could have happened to you."

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest at the realization of just how close you had come to danger. "I... I don't know what I would have done without you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Eli's gaze softened, a mixture of emotions flickering in his eyes. "I don't like to imagine what could have happened to you," he confessed, his tone tinged with genuine concern. "God, when did I start to care so much about you?"

Before you could respond, Eli leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a tender yet intense kiss. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you melted into his embrace, the heat of his touch igniting a firestorm of desire within you.

But as quickly as the kiss began, you pulled away, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry," you stammered, mortified by your own audacity. "That was so wrong..."

Eli's expression softened, a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Don't apologize," he murmured, his voice husky with emotion. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Before you could protest further, Eli silenced you with another kiss, his lips capturing yours in a passionate embrace. This time, you melted into the kiss, surrendering to the intoxicating rush of desire that pulsed between you.

As the kiss deepened, you felt yourself getting lost in the moment, consumed by the overwhelming sensation of being wanted, of being desired. And in that fleeting moment of bliss, you couldn't help but wonder if perhaps, just perhaps, there was something more between you and Eli than mere attraction.

But as reality came crashing back, you broke away from the kiss, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you struggled to compose yourself. "I-I should go," you muttered, fumbling with the door handle in a desperate bid to escape the suffocating intimacy of the car.

But Eli stopped you with a gentle hand on your arm, his eyes searching yours with a depth of emotion you couldn't quite comprehend. "Stay," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just for a little while longer..."

And as you gazed into Eli's eyes, the lines between right and wrong blurred into obscurity, leaving you with a single, undeniable truth: that in the tangled web of desire, there were no rules, no boundaries, only the relentless pursuit of pleasure at any cost. And if that meant succumbing to the forbidden allure of Eli Michaelson, then so be it.

With a silent nod, you settled back into the passenger seat, allowing yourself to be consumed by the intoxicating heat of the moment. For tonight, at least, you were content to lose yourself in the arms of the man who had unwittingly captured your heart.

Eli wasted no time in continuing kissing you, his lips hungry and demanding as he explored every inch of your mouth with a fervent passion. He savored the taste of you, the intoxicating blend of sweetness and spice that lingered on your lips, driving him to the brink of madness with desire.

As their kiss deepened, Eli felt a surge of arousal coursing through him, his body responding eagerly to the forbidden pleasure of your embrace. He traced his tongue along the curve of your lips, teasing them apart with gentle insistence as he sought to devour you whole.

With each passing moment, Eli felt himself growing more addicted to the heady rush of euphoria that enveloped him whenever he was with you. Your touch was like a drug, igniting a firestorm of need within him that threatened to consume him whole.

As he trailed kisses along your jawline, Eli couldn't help but marvel at the sheer intensity of his desire for you. He had kissed many women in his lifetime, but none had ever elicited such a visceral response from him, none had ever made him feel so alive.

And as he lost himself in the dizzying whirlwind of sensation, Eli found himself wondering if perhaps this was why Barkley was always so drawn to you. Maybe, just maybe, there was something inherently addictive about you, something that left men like Eli craving more with each passing moment.

Yes, it was no wonder Barkley was always eager to kiss you. You were sweet and addictive, a tantalizing temptation that beckoned him closer with every breathless moment. Eli found himself almost amused by the realization that he and Barkley had more in common than he liked to think. After all, they were both drawn to you like moths to a flame, unable to resist the magnetic pull of your allure.

In that moment, as he reveled in the intoxicating bliss of your embrace, Eli couldn't help but acknowledge the undeniable truth: you held a power over him that he couldn't begin to comprehend. And as he surrendered himself to the irresistible pull of desire, he knew that he would do anything, risk everything, for just one more taste of the ecstasy you offered.

#eli michaelson #eli michaelson x reader #alan rickman #nobel son #Barkley Michaelson #Sarah Michaelson #alan rickman x reader

[naazaif327]

I was thinking, last week’s episode and the ever-widening gap between Suvi and Ame’s ideologies reminded me of a quote from a different show:

This is a scene from Doctor Who where the Doctor is trying to rehabilitate one of his closest and oldest rivals after centuries of her evil, and her response to his attempts. Now, Suvi is Not evil, and Ame is not fundamentally all of the things listed in that quote above, but I really think there are some poignant parallels here in regards to the way the two friends see the world and their place in it.

Ame is a good person, and she wants to do good in the world. She is wise, and she has a strong intuition about things, leading her to make choices through feeling a lot of the time. And that’s wonderful, but there are flaws in going through the world that way. She feels trapped inside the Citadel, feels the walls closing in, and so following her intuition she disregards Suvi and Steel’s pleas for her to stay, to gather more information, she reaches for the fastest escape route to home, no matter how violent the consequences might be for wizards whose lives are (to her) expendable in this moment.

What might’ve happened to those workers if Eursulon hadn’t brought them back? How might the war be affected by the loss of this precious teleportation sand that was wasted because Ame had to use it to get to Toma? What if that sand was needed to turn the tide in a battle and Silver dies as a result? Does it matter? Does it matter to Ame? It certainly matters to Suvi.

After doing this, how do we think things will go in the future between the two of them? The Empire will likely see this as a terrorist attack. Even Steel might not be able to smooth this over, and I don’t even know that she’d want to at this point. Steel was a trusted friend of Grandma Ren’s, there were so many contacts and important people within the Citadel that are now cut off from Ame, relationships and favours and information networks that were decades in the making. How can you be the Witch of the World’s Heart, the arbiter of affairs between humans and spirits, if you don’t have a way in to the capital of one of the most powerful factions in Umora? Ame will need to act as a representative for humans in the future, the way she fought for the people of Port Talon in her conversation with Orima. She can’t be that arbiter if she loses all her connections to these places. She certainly can’t be that arbiter if she is violently attacked by another Rhuvian like Captain Emliss and doesn’t have the backing of the Empire behind her this time.

Ten or fifty episodes from now, if Ame asked Suvi to stand with her against the Empire, I could imagine that conversation going the same way as the scene from above, because right now from Suvi’s eyes, that’s probably exactly what Ame’s actions look like: vain, arrogant, naive. Suvi knows Ame didn’t just intentionally commit a terror attack against the Citadel this episode, she knows that Ame is a good person who wants to do good. But the alternative is just as troubling: that Ame knows exactly how this all looks, that she knows exactly how bad this is going to be for Suvi and the people she holds dear, and she did it anyways because she thinks she knows better.

#absolutely no hate towards any cast members btw #this is my opinion on the narrative alone #lol #worlds beyond number #wbn pod #wbn spoilers #twtwatwo #suvirin kedberiket #suvi the wizard #the wizard the witch and the wild one #the wizard sky #ame the witch #witch of Toma

[h4venpha]

↳ 𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 — millions knives

boxer!knives, BLOOD, slight violence, slightly suggestive ngl

idk anything about boxing sorry i just think knives is hot

even from inside of the clinic, you hear the shouts and cheers of his name, a constant chant of ‘knives! knives! knives!” you couldn’t help but smile to yourself knowing that your boyfriend’s match started not even ten minutes ago and he already claimed the victory in three rounds.

shuffling around the other boxers in the clinic, you look for a clean towel for when knives comes in. he always does this: before and after every match he comes in to see you, the nurse of the arena, whether or not he has injuries. and sometimes he comes in pretending like his wrist or shoulder hurts, when in reality, he would never let anyone wear him out that bad.

the door swings open, practically slamming against the wall as knives stands in the door way. his face serious and brooding as he looks down at everyone in the clinic. there’s sweat running down in rivulets over the smooth skin of his chest, dripping from his platinum blonde hair. a patch of crimson blood on his right glove, a clear sign of his finishing blow, a clear sign of his victory.

“everyone out.” knives demands with a straight face while shifting on his feet, opening a space for them to leave through the door.

and immediately everyone, both nurses and other boxers, leave with their heads down, knowing they’ve been denied to help with wounds or they’ve been knocked out once or twice by knives himself. he didn’t want them around and that was final.

knives shuts and locks the door behind the last of them as they leave. you lean back against the counter as you watch him silently walk in and sit up on the examination table like a child at their doctors appointment.

“you can’t keep on hogging the clinic like this, you know.” you huff and walk over to his side with a towel. knives pointedly looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed.

“yes i can,” he angrily replies and begins to rip the velcro away on his gloves, shucking them off and throwing them to the side, smearing blood on the table. “this is my clinic.”

“oh yea? how’s that?” you smile amusedly, unfazed by his tone. you step into his vicinity, gently parting his knees with your hips and raising the soft towel up to his face. knives’ eyebrows raise slightly at your actions; nevertheless, he closes his eyes and lets you press the cloth against his forehead.

“because this is your clinic, and you’re mine.” he says simply, his tone slightly more gentle yet possessive.

you smile and nod absentmindedly at his words, softly dabbing at the blood by his temple. even though you nag him about kicking people out of the clinic, you can’t help but enjoy the quiet time you spend with him.

with you it’s always different from how knives acts in the ring. he always spits insults mid-fight and he sometimes continues the shit talking outside of the ring after the match ends. he’s a little unhinged in the way that he acts around the other boxers: arrogant, violent, and mean.

but with you, knives’ demeanor tames like pouring cool water over hot embers. he can’t help the way it fizzles out when you touch him or look at him. sometimes he feels himself switch when he’s with you, like he becomes someone entirely different. the same hands that leave others bruised and bloody are the same ones that reach up and gently wrap around your wrist, stopping your motions so he can lean in.

“wha- hey! i just started!” you exclaim as he begins to pull your hand away. you try and tug your arm out of his grasp when you notice blood continuing the drip from his cace. even as you try to remove yourself from his hold, he easily keeps you still.

“shh…” knives coos, his other hand reaching up to grab your face. his warm fingers gently squeezing your cheeks together, forcing you to pucker up for him.

you squeak as he connects his lips to yours, its firm and demanding the way he presses and pulls against you. squeezing a little more when he wants you to part your lips, taking what he wants, leaving you breathless. you can taste him in the back of your mouth when he finally lets you go.

you’re panting, using the same towel to wipe the of drool off your chin and quite frankly you don’t know if it’s yours or his.

“nai you fucker-“

“it’s my clinic, i control what happens inside of it.” knives says like it’s the simplest thing ever. his eyes flutter shut, waiting for you to resume cleaning him up like he didn’t just shove his tongue down your throat.

sure he was soft for you, but that didn’t mean he had to get rid of his arrogant self entirely.

you curse under your breath, yet you shakily bring the towel back up and dab the sweat dripping down his neck as he grins with his eyes closed.

#h4venpha #trigun #trigun 2023 #trigun manga #trigun anime #trigun headcanons #trigun stampede #trigun 1998 #trigun maximum #millions knives #millions knives x reader #millions knives x you #millions knives x y/n #knives x y/n #knives x you #knives x reader #knives fluff #knives smut #trigun knives #nai x reader #nai x you #nai x y/n #nai fluff #trigun nai #trigun fluff

[demifiendrsa]

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth details Gold Saucer, Corel Prison, Vincent Valentine, Cid Highwind, and more detailed

■ New Art

■ Regions of the World

The world is comprised of multiple regions, each boasting unique environments for players to explore and experience on their adventure.

Gold Saucer

Referred to as the gilded paradise, the Gold Saucer is a resplendent amusement park on an epic scale. It is divided into seven areas, called “squares,” each with their own unique attractions. One such is the Skywheel, which takes guests high above the Saucer for an unforgettable view of the park, and has proven to be a popular date spot.

Corel Prison

A sprawling slum that infests the base of the Gold Saucer. It’s almost as if the Saucer’s glimmering façade acts a beacon for vagabonds and ne’er-do-wells the world over, as they have flocked there in droves. So dangerous is the Dustbowl—Corel Prison’s slightly kinder sobriquet–that those who enter its limits are said to never return.

■ New Characters

Vincent Valentine (voiced by Matthew Mercer in English)

“Who dares disturb my slumber?”

A self-proclaimed “security” guard who hibernates in a coffin deep below Shinra Manor. This man of mystery is swathed in a red cape and boasts the genes of a monster—as well as a hidden connection to Sephiroth.

Cid Highwind (voiced by J. Michael Tatum in English)

“Shinra don’t own the skies! They couldn’t stop me even if they tried.”

This rogue pilot of reputable skill runs a shuttle service out of various abandoned airstrips. After Cloud and company flag him down, he flies them around the globe in his beloved Tiny Bronco.

Dyne (voiced by Dave B. Mitchell in English)

“You took everything from me. Everything and everyone!”

Dyne was once Barret’s closest friend, back when the two used to make their living in the coal mines of Corel. Now, he is a wanted man with a gun grafted to his left arm, and his current whereabouts are unknown.

Dio (voiced by Ian James Corlett in English)

“As park director, it’s my pleasure to welcome you to our gilded paradise.”

The charismatic owner of the Gold Saucer. Famous for his brawny physique and handlebar mustache, Dio is often found participating in his park’s parades, flexing his muscles before throngs of screaming guests.

Doctor Sheiran (voiced by Lloyd Sherr in English)

“Won’t charge for my services, but I wouldn’t turn down a blood sample neither.”

Though his clinic in North Corel may be small, Doctor Sheiran’s heart and intellect are anything but. Lately, he has been caring for the black-robed figures that have stumbled into town, and is attempting to uncover the truth behind their mysterious illness.

Solemn Gus (voiced by Jonah Scott in English)

“I’ll help…but only if I get a little something from you first. Understand?”

The sleazy kingpin of Corel Prison, Gus is as flamboyant as he is smooth-talking. Add to that a healthy dose of showmanship, and it’s little wonder that the dregs of the Dustbowl have flocked to him.

Biggs (voiced by Gideon Emery in English)

“Why in the hell did fate pick me?”

After surviving the fall of the Sector 7 plate, Biggs awoke to find that he is the last remaining member of the ill-fated anti-Shinra rebels, Avalanche. Having recovered from his injuries, he now seeks revenge against the company that murdered his comrades.

■ Combat: Synergy Skills

Synergy Abilities

Powerful attacks in which two characters team up to turn the tide of battle. More abilities will unlock as you increase the party level─a numerical expression of how closely-knit your team is─and deepen the affinity between party members. Fill the synergy gauge by using abilities, then unleash a synchronized assault!

—Cloud / Aerith: “Firework Blade”

Cloud uses Aerith’s magic to unleash a ranged attack.

—Tifa / Caith Sith: “Moogle Dunk Shot”

Tifa swings Cait Sith’s moogle around and launches it at an enemy.

■ Combat: Summons

Summons

Setting summoning materia will grant access to the power of the gods. A conjured deity will follow the player’s lead and fight enemies automatically, but you can also instruct them to use special abilities. Before they depart the battlefield, summons will unleash one final attack that will wreak immense havoc.

Titan

A titanic colossus whose arms of solid stone can rend the earth—and your enemies—asunder.

—Titan excels at both powerful melee strikes and area-of-effect attacks, such as Boulder Hurl.

—Upon leaving the battlefield, Titan unleashes Earthen Fury, calling forth giant pillars of rock from deep within the earth. This imposing magic attack harnesses the power of nature to cleave your enemies’ resolve.

Bahamut Arisen

A massive dragon covered in resplendent red scales. It cuts off any possible escape routes with its lightning-quick speed, and decimates its enemies with both sharp claws and a veritable arsenal of weaponry.

—Bahamut Arisen excels at attacking in rapid succession, but can also obliterate foes with charged magic attacks from its limbs. Once its Umbral Bombardment lands, it releases two orbs of magic that fan out and annihilate all surrounding enemies.

—When it leaves the battlefield, Bahamut Arisen activates Gigaflare—an extremely potent attack that sees the dragon unleash beams of magic from its wings and maw, burning any nearby foes alive.

Phoenix

A bird possessed of exquisite beauty and wings of brilliant flame. Phoenix not only flies about the battlefield assailing foes with its blisteringly hot attacks, but also heals the party’s wounds.

—In addition to engulfing enemies in flames with its wings of wildfire, Phoenix can grant buffs with healing effects. It can also revive incapacitated allies and fully recover their HP with Arise, allowing them to return to the front line and continue the fight.

—When it departs the field of battle, Phoenix unleashes Rebirth Flame, which recovers the party’s HP and spells a fiery death any foes within its wide range. A single feather falls from Phoenix’s wings, enveloping the battlefield in burning flames, after which the bird rises from the cinders to deal the final blow.

■ System: Relationships

Bonds of Friendship

Cloud’s actions and the way he responds to other party members while conversing with them will affect his relationship with them.

With a strong enough bond, you may even reap some benefits, so whenever you’re faced with a decision, you might want to think hard before responding—especially if it concerns your favorite character.

Loveless

A theatrical production based on the classic epic poem Loveless.

It depicts a hero’s fight against the Dragon King, the tyrannical ruler of Guardia, as well as his love for Princess Rosa.

Thanks to the latest in VR technology, the Gold Saucer’s Golden Theatre brings this play to life like never before. Depending on your relationship with your fellow theatergoers, the person playing Rosa may even change—along with parts of the script.

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, the second game in the Final Fantasy VII remake trilogy, will launch for PlayStation 5 on February 29, 2024.

#Final Fantasy VII Rebirth #FFVII Rebirth #Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth #FF7 Rebirth #Final Fantasy VII Remake #FFVIIR #Final Fantasy 7 Remake #FF7R #Final Fantasy VII #FFVII #Final Fantasy 7 #FF7 #Final Fantasy #Square Enix #video game #PS5 #TGA 2023 #The Game Awards #long post