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#smile line
streetkittyclaws · 2 years
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✨badtz maru nail art✨
wanted 2 practice more hand painted nail art n sanrio characters r always fun
((using dusty rose collection from Born Pretty + liner brush for glitter smile line))
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andthebeanstalk · 10 months
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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lazylittledragon · 5 months
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astarion studies because i can never get the bastard’s face right
(my boyfriend also contributed)
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suntails · 23 days
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reality
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waveoftheocean · 11 months
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"i can see it in his eyes" 🥰
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thejawdroppers · 8 days
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Jaw Dropper of the Day: Estephania Ha
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bizarrelittlemew · 6 months
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🥺 -> 🥹 -> 😠
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beaulesbian · 2 months
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Luffy & Zoro in Wano || One Piece ep. 897
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theaestheticmodels · 3 months
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cryinginthevoid · 8 months
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Dc x dp prompt #45
Danny is no stranger to curses, he’d been on the receiving end of many.
Being cursed into a doll and thrown through a natural portal was new though, and very much not enjoyable.
When he was thrown out of the portal and into a dark attic, he thought he’d finally be able to calm down from the initial shock and get home to fix this.
And he might have, if not for his powers not working.
And there were a lot of footsteps coming too close for comfort, so he decided to take a page from Toy Story, stay as still as possible and hope these people didn’t visit the attic regularly enough to notice a random porcelain doll the size of a toddler. Yep, totally an easy thing to miss.
The Wayne Manor’s attic was a disaster.
With as many kids that have lived there, it was filled to the brim with old keepsakes, toys, and weapons.
Every year or so, the family would all make a game of sorts out of it, cleaning the attic. They’d keep what they didn’t want to part with, restore weapons they had renewed interest in, and donate most of the old toys.
This just so happened to be Duke’s first time doing it, and Dick and Tim already warned him about some of the stuff in here, like Damian’s weapons and Jason’s book collection that didn’t fit in the library. No one told him about the glowing marionette puppet looking doll though.
Well, technically it wasn’t glowing, but it was glowing to him, and considering it was coming from some creepy doll?.
It only took his siblings to agree that they’ve never seen it before for him to decide that, no, he was not cleaning the attic today. He’d rather never see that doll again, thank you.
So why on earth is Damian carrying it with him to dinner like it’s an actual child.
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(Pose ref. used is by mellon_soup on TikTok and Patreon)
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i just wanted to draw head accessories but it turned out prettier than i expected lol
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bluescreenoflife293 · 8 months
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I just think it'd be nifty if they were friends
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bleh1bleh2 · 8 months
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Alien Pick-Up Lines
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wormswurld · 2 months
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ollie after being kissed by felix in a room surrounded by people who want him: 🤗🤭🌟💖🪄✨
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kenvamp · 9 months
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TOTEM TIME!!!
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cringefailcabitha · 6 days
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Cabby but I give her a lollipop like in SpongeBob and a propeller hat and a hug every day and she’s never sad again,
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