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pretty-prince-lulu · 7 months

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I I mister beaned it pretty hard tonight, internet and I feel the need to inflict the experience upon the world at large

be me (honestly I could fucken end it here) walking down the hallway toward the domain of the porcelain throne when out of the corner of my eye I see it

it has been years, actual years now, since I have done true battle yet my nemesis stands before me- rather, scuttles above me, on the ceiling, taunting me with his plumpness a cockroach. my first true enemy in life, really this being the first house I have ever lived in without nests in the foundations or a frame consisting 80% of wood rot meant that I had sadly grown fat on my own complacency and taking peace for granted but I am Ready. I can face this foe

old reliable is at the ready. a 15 year old can of pea-beu! it's an Australian brand of bug spray. 'Hit 'em with the ol' Pea-Beu!' croons the ad! it's pronounced 'pee bow', which is still hilarious to me I psshk him with great noble bearing by which I mean 'from around a corner and at as great a distance as I could physically achieve' and wait for him to drop I wait I wait did I actually get him or I must have? that or he's just ambling down of his own volition either way

KATCHONK the can is placed atop him! he is CONTAINED! now all I must do is wait! so I wait and I wait surely he'sNOPE JESUS MARY MOTHER OF SHIT antennae and legs swing at me from under the can with incredible malice and singular will the can goes back down. and I wait

and at this point I remember! there is one thing that I have never seen pea-beu do that is- fuck, what's the word I'll have it around here somewhere oh yes WORK legs still scrabble in effort to escape I am less and less convinced that he has peed his last bow and more convinced that the next bow to be peed shall be mine

fuck FUCK okay well raising the can is out of the fucking question he's seen me now, he knows my scent and is very clearly out for revenge (probably in the form of running up my leg until I pee my bow) there's a technique I use all the time to rescue crickets from the bathroom though! and this is more of a Special Military Operation (tm) than a rescue but desperate times call for desperate measures and lateral moves so I do it I grab the nearest piece of paper and sliiiide it under the can if I can contain the creature I can have it airlifted to a location that is not my hallway

but I've just made a critical error its on paper now and paper, when confronted with 6 legs of undeniable fury, makes a sound and that sound does something magical that magical thing being compelling our hapless protagonist 30 years backward in time

she's addicted to reading! that's what her parents tell her teachers! we just can't get her to put the books down at night and sleep! ha ha ha! and she does love her books, that little girl but something more sinister is at play when the lights go out is when they awaken by the tens and by the hundreds skinny little barbed legs and long hairlike antennae but they can tell when you're still awake, you know that's when they run around in circles beneath the wallpaper and under the posters that's when they climb over the bedhead and wait sitting in the palm of your hand until you realise that's when you think the breeze is shifting the hair at your temple but the wind is prickly this evening and your eyelashes are only beyond their reach if little blue eyes stay open until dawn but no depth of story can drown out the sound of legs and wings caressing paper

SNAP BACK TO REALITY whoops there goes gravity right bug. can. paper big regretti… mom's spaghetti eminem can't help me now oh god oh no the noise has drawn attention player 3 and player 4 have entered the game

my cats precious fat idiots no hunting instincts between them, frankly the kitten has never hunted anything in his life and the last time the big boy encountered an Animal (tm) it resulted in him screaming, actually s c r e a m i n g and I had to pick him up and rescue him from the VERY scary cricket that had cornered him (the assailant was released outside) but they are interested in THE NOISE and the mystery and if they knock over this fucken can I know it's game over for me I'm still in full on vietnam flashback mode fortunate son is on full blast in my head I cannot handle a prison break

I drive them away the only way I can think of by using the only thing that's as scary to them as a cricket a psshk from a can of compressed keyboard-cleaning air nyoom disaster averted, or at least that specific flavour of disaster of course, the problem remains I cannot pick up the fucking paper. please understand. it's all that stands between me and my nightmares fortunate son is still playing but by now it's on kazoo I deepen my hole of shame a little further and attempt to s l i d e a plastic lid beneath the paper.

now I have it in my hands, a teetering, tenuous tower of can, beast, tupperware lid and a phone bill with a destination to decide what? empty it in a bin? so he can swing over the edge of the paper like lara fucking croft and hoik himself into my open mouth? or run up my sleeve into my hair? as has happened before? no thank you, you little shit, you probably submliminally suggested that yourself didn't you b u g but I can't just. squish it that also risks CONTAINMENT BREACH letting it onto the floor risks my cats eating it (and potentially peeing their bow in 12-19 business years I guess) and so, I compromise

I run outside out the front door. at this point I feel like it is important to note my outfit I am wearing a whole-body lamb costume that I have been using as pyjamas they are very wooly and floor length and have a little silk ribbony bow at the neck, as-yet unpeed

and god knows what the neighbours must think seeing this shrieking lamb kool-aid man out of her house shedding phone bills and pesticide containers and frisbee a tupperware lid across the road like it is made of fire before doing the Universal Dance of Absolute Crawling Horror, complete with arm-flailing and knee-to-chest high-steppy in circles

anyway I lived and I've been told off for sadly humming 'fortunate son' to myself 7 times. some folks are born made to wear the flag :')

#dramatic retelling #I showered immediately #bug tw

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dontfeedmeaftermidnight · 1 month

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Dream Headshot art + Mini Story!!

Sliiiide.

Scraaaaape.

Sliiiiiiiiiide.

You tremble behind the decrepit, old wooden table, that you know won't hold for long. When was this backup getting here?! You had taken a mission outside the City, to clear out a small village. The company was planning to rebuild the village, and set it up for orphaned children, so they had their own little rooms. You thought the idea was sweet and adorable, so you volunteered to help. Your entire crew was to kill the monsters roaming round, and get ready for the construction teams. The plan failed, however, when your crew was jumped by the Monsters, and now you were finding pieces of them... Well... Everywhere. So, you snuck into the nearest house to hide, but the thing was persistent, and followed you.

You carefully step towards an open pantry, watching the Monster behind you shuffle around, with it's head swiveling back and forth on a rotted, spindly neck. You hold in a whimper and step closer to the closet, but you freeze as soon as you do.

CRRREEEEAK-

Damn it. Damn it all.

You straighten, summoning your sword. The Monsters head sickly snaps on your direction with a loud popping noise.

Ugh, disgusting.

You did the one thing that was truly stupid, yet incredibly brave. You leap onto the table, brandishing your sword at the Monster, and slicing at it. It screeches and raises a claw, swiping down. You jump in time, and watch as the table gets destroyed below you, the monster was in a perfect position. Grabbing onto the chandelier that you had seen above the table beforehand, you slice it free and yell a battle cry as metal and your sword smash into it's skull. You grimace as the skull barely imitates the sound of bone cracking, and instead made an unfortunate sucking noise. You wrinkle your nose as you tug your weapon free, and look down. Your armor had thankfully saved you from being to hurt by the metal chandelier, and you wonder how the hell it had stayed in the rotted ceiling this entire time anyway. You didn't have time to ponder when you hear a loud gunshot, followed by two, three more.

Backup!

You breathe in relief and dart out the door of the house, when you get smashed to the ground by something powerful. A hand around your throat pinned you to the ground, and you grab at it, gasping for air. You feel cool metal against your temple. You manage to growl out,

"Not... In-infected..!"

The hand lessons it's grip and pulls away, and you sit up quickly, gasping for air. You blink up at the man before you, and immediately scramble to your feet and salute him with your left hand.

"C-commander Dream, sir!"

The (literally) flaming pheonix eyes you, and raises an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth twitch.

"Glad to see your safe, cadet, and not infected, but that's the wrong hand for a salute."

You flush red and quickly correct yourself.

"S-sorry, Commander."

Dream huffs softly, running a hand through his hair.

"Don't worry about it, kid, and you don't need to be so formal. Especially out in the battlefield."

You look around to find multiple monsters scattered about, oozing black blood from the holes in their heads and chest.

" Is this..."

"All of them? Yes."

You relax, and peer up at the much taller Commander.

"Did you come alone, sir- I-I mean, Dream..?"

He nods, "I came as soon as I heard what the plans were. Look, I know this was something that was supposed to be done for good, but this place is full of scent markers from the Poachers. From the smell of it, marked a few hours before your team and you had arrived."

Your stomach drops.

"This was a trap. They knew what we were doing! How-"

Dream waves a hand at you.

" Don't. Do not tell anyone I indulged this information to you, either, but you're a smart kid, you'll figure it out."

Your voice softens, " How would you know I won't babble..? "

"I don't. "

His sharp answer made you peer up at his face again, and you suddenly feel very small at the sharp scowl on his face.

"If you do, I'll make sure those were your last words."

You fidget, and nod. His scowl softens and he turns away.

"Let's get you home. There's not much left of your team to take along, but if you wish to mourn them, I'll keep watch for more monsters."

You look down at the ground. You knew a couple of these cadets from school, and you feel the tears welling in your eyes. Suddenly, you feel warmth coat you, and look up to see a fiery colored wing wrapped around you. Dream peers down at you with a look of understanding, and anger, you understood in return.

You managed to return home the next day, thanks to Dream. Collapsing into your bed, you already planned your speech out for your team's funerals, but you had one more thing on your mind, and you couldn't even question it to anyone. Anger coursed through you at what Dream had told you about the Poachers. There was only one conclusion to that little issue.

There's a mole in the Hunters Association.

#myart #myartstyle #anime #myau #digital art #dreamgalaxystar #tatau #my undertale au #dream #my story #reader pov #mini story #short story #my short story #ibispaint art #ibispaintx #undertaleau

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dcviated · 2 months

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@psychcdelica sent: Wylan's made the mistake of leaving his phone somewhere his wife can get to it. She's quick with changing the lack screen of his phone, certainly a picture he's going to appreciate.

Not to toot his horn more than it needs to be (i.e. never), but pulling a fast one on Wylan takes a certain care of execution. He is, after all, the self-proclaimed prince badass king emperor of mischief himself. And it was those accolades of atrocity that lead to him being so notable by Sae in the first place. It should prove no surprise that it would rub off on the lawyer. Somewhat.

Too much of this marriage and she might actually crack a joke in the court room. Like, could you imagine??

Wylan certainly does. The agent has actually had a variety of dreams that were tinted with similar notions. Among other things. That of course can be chalked up to the newlywed phase of said marriage. Only a year into it and he never imagined the wild sorts of events that would transpire. The room decor (praise Funyarinpa) and active lifestyles had brought so much liberation to the once sentenced man.

Sae had excellent timing on pulling off this trick. Wylan isn't protective of his phone (and the need to stay open given his history meant it wasn't kept under abundant security as before) but he's also not forgetful of it. Usually. Clever girl got it when he left to go grab something from the kitchen, didn't she.

Brrt brrt!!

It was close though. Not a moment after she managed the swaparoo does the phone sound off with a notification (work message).

"Jiiiiin. I swear. If that grump keeps trying to argue that fucking case... it's 8pm on a Tuesday. I'll see him tomorrow." The grumbling is in good faith. But the clink of wine glasses is a little louder than need be as he snatches what he needs to bring back to the table. "This wine.... pairs with the cheese, right? ...gah, for all the parties I've gone to I never really paid much attention to it outside a script. Ah well!"

Coming back with the two cans of beer for them to enjoy with the plate of snacks that had been set out prior, he picks up the phone to read, but. Hello new lock screen?!?! Sae gets to see the reaction first hand. Wylan freezes in place, wide eyes poring over each pixel of the picture. Mouth hangs open and lascivious green gaze sliiiides off the picture and onto the woman herself.

You're not hiding your own smile, Sae. You may be thoroughly undressed in that photo but the same is being done right now by his eyes as you sit coyly on the sofa. Your time is numbered.

"And what is this number? Hon hon hon..." The deep throated laughter is complimented by the slide of his tongue behind his lip as his brows dance. A heated exhale as a more plotting noise of amusement escapes his throat. "Oh. You're bad." A swig is taken of the wine before he sets it on the table, sliding over and on top of the woman. "Bad bad bad... so bad." There's a playful growl once he reaches her ear, straddled over Sae as she continues to feebly feign her innocence.

"But I'm worse."

#psychcdelica #muse :: wylan #inbox :: answered ic #verse :: aitsf #ships :: wysae #this is content I love to write #bless it #hopefully he can wake up in time tomorrow to get to work #sorry boss

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doremimosasol · 2 months

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Sliiiiding back into your ask box to check on you!! Heyyyyy :)

How are you? I’m good if that’s of any interest, and I really hope you’re good as well! Love ya and your bots, which I’ve been using on the train almost religiously on the way home from school! <333

heyyy I’m good! thank you 😙😙

Happy you love my bots 💕

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fledermoved-too · 4 months

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🎁 + Sliiiides a souvenir Gazelle figurine over to Sam Swimmerton; the figurine is one that depicts the famous singer in the middle of an iconic dance pose from one of her songs.

(Not from any of my muses in particular, I just wanted to send the adorable otter girl something nice :D)

Hmm... Who's this from? Sam will admit, she's a bit of a social shutin these days — Perhaps it's one of her coworkers providing the gift, but she's pretty sure they don't know her home address. She has half a mind to be worried about this mysterious package left on her doorstep, buuut she's a little too bombarded by curiosity to let things be.

As Sam opens her gift, she tears away its wrapping and pulls the box flaps apart. Her mouth falls agape in shock, then absolute delight as her eyes are nearly bugging out of her head.

"Well, look at you!" She exclaims to the figure as she lifts it up to the light to admire its features. She gives a light squeal of excitement. "You're going straight on th'desk where I can see you!!!"

Right next to the dozens of Gazelle posters.

#THIS IS SO SWEET THANK YOU <33 #outoftheirdifferences #asks #ic Sam #m:Sam

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secretseacat · 1 year

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So! I bought a house last year (sliiiiding into that disappearing middle class like Indiana Jones under a closing temple trap door). Decided that the bathroom needed to be remodeled because it had committed the dual sins of being unaesthetic and not up to code. After the initial stages of demolition (fun!) and installing new floor and toilet (2 months of portable toilet in the driveway - less fun!), it was time for the shower. Because I wanted to save money and gain DIY cred, I decided to tile the shower myself. (A professional did the plumbing and shower pan installation, though - I know my limits.) Today I share with you the fruits of my labor!

First, the classic pre- and post-glow-up shots:

Aaand let's take a look without the door so we can see all of that lovely tilework. (seriously, it was a fair bit of time getting that right) An unintended side effect of all this glossy black is that you get a sort of funhouse reflection in the tiles. I like it.

You may have noticed the weird triangle piece in the corner. That's framing following the steeply-pitched roof line. The wood framing was actually missing in the bottom quarter of the triangle, opening up to a gaping hole in the wall. It looked like someone had hacked away chunks of it with a chisel, it was really odd. We covered it up with some wood and waterproof membrane. Anyway, tiling this part turned out to be not as big of a pain as I originally feared, and I think it makes the shower look a little cathedral-like. (It looks better in person, tbh.)

Behold the shower niche! The colors of this bathroom are/will be white, black, brass, and emerald green. The house was built in 1930, so I wanted to make something that would match the rest of the house as well as my own aesthetic tastes.

I laid the mosaic herringbone tile vertically and I love the way it turned out, with the zigzags echoing the shape of falling water. My partner wanted to align it perpendicularly so that everything was right angles, smh.

And the final glamour shot.

It's so nice to have proper showers on demand again! Now on to finishing the rest of the room...

Happy to answer any questions about the process. Thanks for stopping by!

#scsc posts #home improvement #diy #any mistakes are now easter eggs for guests to find #wish the lighting was more conducive to photos but what can ya do #very satisfied with the end result!

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sins-of-the-sea · 1 year

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Willy didn't drink a lot like Jeremiah did (his, ahem, eternal co-worker, so to speak), but when he did do drink- the first few sips of alcohol being rather hard to swallow due to his phobia, but after a while he'd manage to overcome it after getting himself drunk... well, usually he'd end up waking up in some rather strange places.

And today was no exception.

He woke up by getting thrown face-first into a wooden tub, full of sea water; he quickly shook his head, immediately backing away from the tub while making some choked-up rabid animal growls; then the growling turned to coughing as he spat out whatever salty sea water got into his mouth, and he quickly dried himself with the lower part of his shirt.

Once he assumed himself of being dry enough, he finally observed the room he was in to take in his surroundings.

He had never been on a boat. He'd only read about other people's experiences.

He only came to that realization once he slowly started sliding to the other side (he slid across the floor casually until he hit the wooden wall), and the noises of water splashing below... assuming they were moving on water. That's probably how he ended up with a face full of water...now that he noticed there was a fallen down wooden chair next to the wooden tub. And, uh...there were also quite a lot of bottles of what he presumed was beer, ginger beer perhaps? Oooh he liked the sound of it.

He needed to find his book...so he could get out of this boat, open a portal to anywhere that was far, far from water. It had to be somewhere around here..

He started looking around, this area he had found himself in, until he felt himself slide to one side again, so he did the logical thing- since he had sharp nails, and clawed both hands into a nearby wall, to the opposite side, so he wouldn't lose his balance again.

(( random starter with my feral fox man <3 ))

- @viciouslyfilthy

First question: How did the stranger get here?

Second question: How did the stranger get here?

Third que- oh, fanculo. However Willy would get here, his presence would soon get the attention of the ship herself. As the outsider wanders around presumabely on the orlop deck, he'll need to head upwards.

Sliiiide sliiiide sliiiiide. Willy may hear something moving along the ground, slithering like a snake. Except it's dryer, much more lightweight. Nevermind snakes generally don't make sounds when they slither. Should Willy dare to look to the ground, he would see thick cables intended for the ship's rigging sliding over his way. Except they do not move with the swaying of the ship, nor do they move because of someone's intervention.

They're moving completely on their own. And they are going after Willy's ankles and wrists! Should he run, he won't be able to do so for too long--these ropes are not living things that tire. And the fact that Willy doesn't have sea legs to speak of may mean the ropes can snatch him up easily. If allowed, the ropes would hogtie the man then drag him up the stairs of the decks in ascending order, from the orlop to the gun deck, to the main deck, and finally top deck. He'd then be hung upside down in the air from the sails, hoisted up until his head is levelled with who is a topman for the hour.

A young man in a skull-shaped half mask, dressed in a folded brimmed hat pinned with large ostrich feather, ruffles around his neck, a doublet with matching Venetian breeches, and leather cavalier boots. The pattern on his clothes contain gold-lined diamonds of many colors, invoking the imagery of the arlecchino.

The skull-masked pirate pinches the tips of his fingers on one hand as the other crosses his arm while leaning his shoulder against the mast as he stood upon the beam.

"Who are you? And why are you here?"

#it's not often I RP any of the Seven putting on their Sin outfit and deliberately acting scary as;oifhas;idfoha #[Giovanni Vespucci]#[La Demonia Roja]#idk when this takes place but it wouldn't matter if it's modern day because the Sin costumes were never really updated lmao #they'll put it on even in 2023 if they have to be spooky

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pridewon · 2 years

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@deepsets said: sliiiides into his lap sideways, wrapping their arms tightly around iwaizumi's neck. "iwa - chan ~ guess what today is?" they smile, pressing their noses together to give a quick, chaste kiss. "it's national boyfriend day." hands start to run through his hair, gently pulling at the strands. "i lo~ve you." then they give him another kiss... and another and another before muttering against his lips with a smile. "i love you more than anything, hajime."

“Why do you always do that when I’m working?” Working now made unavailable, impossible, de-prioritised, by Oikawa sliding into his lap and bodyblocking access to his laptop. A classic move, one that earns them a sigh and a scowl every time, but... some might point out Iwaizumi’s hypocrisy in his complaining. For someone who has been known to efficiently manhandle Oikawa when they overstepped limits and tested his patience too much, he always seems surprisingly reluctant to push them off so he can resume his work.

The sigh makes it through his nose, and Hajime resigns himself to his fate; lover’s arms wrapped around his neck, his arms loosely wrapped around their waist, brow arched at the question: what day is it today? Hajime runs a quick overview in his mind (it definitely isn’t their birthday... and it’s not their anniversary either, he concludes, after a micro-flare up of panic) and comes up with nothing. Fortunately, Oikawa is quick to fill him in. “... national boyfriend day?” He repeats, after a beat. ... he didn’t even know that existed. Huh. Learn something new every day - and trust Oikawa to know about those things (well, one of them has to, he supposes).

... okay, fine, it’s kind of cute. Count on Oikawa to seize any opportunity they can to turn it into a moment/day/whatever for the two of them. Oikawa always thinks about them both, and there is never a dull a moment, even when there should be; and silly national days nobody knows about are turned into treasured reminders and excuses to leave the rest of the world at the door like they are the only two people on the planet that matter. Hajime agrees with that thought process, and follows with his eyes closed; too busy smiling into their kisses to consider whether his work should take precedence. It shouldn’t. It won’t. Ever.

“That’s a real thing? Are you sure you didn’t make it up? I think you made it up.” He teases, hands leaving their waist to cusp his face between palms made for care, to briefly interrupt the kissing onslaught and contemplate warm brown eyes that suddenly scream indignation and frustration and ‘iwa-chaaan i didn’t make it up!!’. He knows they didn’t. Oikawa had always been thoughtful that way - always remembering the little things, always ready to remind him of their presence, of their belonging together from elementary school until right now in sunny California. Oikawa is thoughtful that way, and they make it impossible for Iwaizumi not to marvel every single time, at how lucky he is, to have been chosen by this incredible partner.

Iwaizumi decides he has been mean long enough (all of ten seconds) and straightens up to kiss them back, fingers grazing at the base of their hair and thumbs brushing at high cheekbones (lucky, insanely lucky, unfairly lucky). “I love you too and you damn well know it.” He grins; before silencing their protest with another kiss. “But if it’s national boyfriends day, I guess I can say it as many times as you want.”

#deepsets #(iwaizumi; interactions)#i feel like this is words soup because i'm really tired but i really wanted to write pls forgive me i had the muse but apparently not the #braincells >:T

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perelka-l · 5 months

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Yess - I am invested!! So Nanu’s a hunter - is he human as well? How long has he known Gio in this universe?

Omg ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)⁭ Thank you....

*coughs*

I always like aus in which Vampire Hunters are like. Human, but with a sliiiide to the left. They absolutely didn't lose their humanity but there is something in them, be it training or access to knowledge that isn't common or maybe something more, something hinting getting their strength against vampires from very obscure and hidden source. So yep, human. But a tiny bit extra. A bit more capable than an average human being and much more knowledgeable.

In Nanu's case maybe you could tie in his canon background in here, since technically the whole "being chose by a god" shtick applies to him canonically so here it would just work a bit differently? An old hunter with ton of killed vampires under his belt, blessed by unknown being and kind of tired about this, so at this point is less actively seeking new creatures to hunt and just ensures the area is clean.

And then Gio gets expansive. Gdi.

I like to think maybe Nanu spared Giovanni a long, long time ago, maybe early moments of a hunter and both were very young and unexperienced (freshly turned Gio being vulnerable in front of a fledgling hunter Nanu is a very sexy thought when I think about it 🤔) , and now it's biting him in the ass with Giovanni becoming more stubborn and greedy hehe.

#Answers #Anon #Anonymous #But red eyes gotta stay bc i like the thought that humans kind of know Nanu stepped a bit to the left #Not by significant amount but substantial enough #Maybe they met here and there as Gio tried to expand influence and Nanu still had somewhat of sense of mission in his heart #Maybe #Hhh bless you anon #I'm just ahhhhhhh hh I can ramble djhdjdjf

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talenlee · 8 months

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Game Pile: Ring Fit Adventures

Ah, the best of intentions.

I bought Ring Fit Adventure during the August 2020 lockdown. I bought it from a local business, so it could be delivered cheaply. When it arrived, I unboxed it, showed it to Elli and to Fox, and left it next to the TV for two weeks. I did this because Fox would go to bed at night, and take the Switch with her, meaning that I did not have a joycon-powered way to play the game. I did not check if I could use the spare joycons on my Switch Lite. I did not ask Fox to make space for me.

I just… ignored it for a little while. You know the thinking?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I’ll start.

I started using it on September the 4th, in 2020. I took notes, for my first twelve days. Twelve! I thought I’d have a lot more than that. And that was two years ago, with this article staying in draft form for oh so long.

I think that Ring Fit Adventures is pretty good. It’s remarkably nonjudgmental game which makes its particular focus of exercise interesting. I got it to get myself an outlet for exercise that I could maintain under lockdown conditions, when normally, I would be travelling around and doing things… and also, I know that I’m getting older and should have a more regular exercise schedule. It seems pretty good at what it’s doing and it didn’t make me feel bad.

I did, however, feel bad.

Content Warning: Under the fold is less of your typical ‘game review’ or critical engagement with the game text. It’s much more of a diary examining myself and my feelings about this game and how I struggled with it. There’s some reflections on my relationship to my body and I’m honestly embarrassed of it, but I think I need to fight that embarrassment and present a fair account of this game.

Day One

One of the things I learned was that my thighs are … problematic. See, apparently the only part of my body that’s well developed in any way are my thighs. They’re quite muscular, but they are also tapered down to the knee. Which means just by dint of leaving myself standing still, the blue joycon sliiiides down my leg, meaning that about once a level, I need to pull it up and restrap it.

Day Two

Second day I realised that maybe I wasn’t expected to do a single zone a day. I was getting around four to five minutes of energetic exercise in the two days so far, and that felt good, but I was also sharply sweaty at the end of it.

Day Three

Day three, the game asked me if it’d been too easy and if I should up my difficulty. So, I, considering that yes, technically, I had found the first two days very handleable, opted to do that. This was also the first boss battle, which, very funnily, I found absolutely bushwhacking. It introduced two new moves into the combat system which I kind of felt I ‘should’ do. One of them is the Chair Sit, which is like a squat but you hold it and you shouldn’t extend your knees over your toes. I can’t do that position without moving like that – my middle is just too heavy to balance right like that. There was also the introduction of putting my knees to my chest. Which I can do, but the shape of my middle makes it difficult.

I hate this, I hate writing this down.

Day Four

Day FOUR, I set off to a new zone. This was not super hard, but it did involve more high stepping – bringing my knees up higher as I jogged, which uhm, that exaggerated the strap problem.

By day four I also noticed I was getting sleepier in the nights when it was time to sleep. Part of this is also no doubt tied to my emotional circumstances: Without disclosing specifics, things were extremely difficult for me on day four. It was 2020. Make something up.

Day Five

Day five. Fox was awake when I did this. I worked with startling alacrity because the idea of being watched while I did this made me very selfconscious. I also learned today that the internet recommends strapping the blue joycon to my bare leg, not to my leg over pajama pants. Gunna have to give that a shot and wince about it.

I do not account these problems, with my body and with the strap and whatnot, to make anyone feel less likely to get this game for its purpose. I am okay with this game being what it is, and I like what it is doing. At day four, I know I resolved that even if day five or more sucked ass, the four days of noticing the material effects of the exercise was going to be worth it. I want to make this a habit. I want to get to the point where I don’t feel humiliated by acknowledging my body exists. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about the strange way that my thighs and calves seem to be very firm and muscled, or the way that all my weight concentrates around my midsection like the character designer that drew me slipped up.

This is an autoethnographic process, too. I’m playing the game, then I am writing about my experiences and feelings about it, and then, later, I am going to review this diary. Determine what is valuable about it.

I think I like Ring Fit. I think I like it and I hate that I feel like I needed it.

But whatever gets me to work.

I’m thinking a lot about Bojack Horseman and the quote about jogging: It gets easier. But you gotta do it every day.

Anyway, it’s day five. It feels very short. Was this a short level? Am I doing enough? I am trusting the game to parcel this content out to me in a way that’s, I dunno, properly good? I had to do a knees-to-chest today and it wasn’t the worst. I did run to get through the level faster.

Day Six

I thought I’d written down what I did. But I didn’t.

Day Seven.

This was a big one for a couple of reasons. First, this is the first day I woke up after Fox. I slept in on a Saturday after apparently needing a lot of sleep. That meant that I woke up and … I had to play Ring Fit Adventures in front of someone else. Fortunately, Fox understood that this is a thing, and she very politely declared that she was a ‘hard no comment.’

It was also a boss battle. It was a reasonably short amount of running but a lot of athletic exercises. It’s also when I first hit a sort of interface problem. The chair pose move came up in the boss battle. I could do it once, but then I couldn’t get the interface to recognise when I tried it a second time. This was partly due to the positions I could hold, with my body. So for the first time, I took a moment to sit down in the middle of gameplay, and I took another moment to try again. My knee hurt a little trying to hold the position and I couldn’t make the interface do anything about it. Like I couldn’t hold the position in a way the game liked it.

Still, I got through the boss battle.

I also was told today that the thing I was doing the most was uh, overhead press and that I was pretty good at them. That’s funny, but also awkward because that builds upper body and arm strength. I didn’t think I had much of that? Really, it’s funny to imagine that I am a 100% healthy body except for the excess belly weight I don’t like.

Man, I can’t imagine I’m ever going to post this as-is.

Am I?

I guess at this point, with the distance between it, and now, I’m going to feel silly not doing it, right?

The other thing is that I looked at the way the game structured a world; each game session starts with a stretch, then you’re put into a world of three levels. Each world is about 2-3 minutes of activity per level, with a boss monster at the end that takes up like four or five minutes, followed by a stretch. I’ve been doing one level a day — I’m trying to not strain myself and make it suck to play this game. But it does have me wondering if the assumed ‘default’ is in fact a full world at a time.

I’m wondering if tomorrow I’m going to do three levels, instead of just one. That’s like, fifteen minutes of aerobic exercise, but is it going to hit my limit? That one level a day policy works really well for me mentally — I’m not finding myself wanting to escape or make excuses. If I go for a world at a time, that may overload me.

On the other hand, there are these little interface pauses between things, too. Maybe the point of opening chests on the map or talking to minigames or shops (I assume there are shops later), is to mean that between each level, I’m meant to spend some time pottering around to cool off between each level?

We’ll see. Maybe tomorrow is when we step it up to ‘proper’ session sizes.

Day Eight

Well forget that. I woke up with a sore foot. I considered whether or not I wanted to push on, but then I saw the new level unfolded in front of me. Seven zones in this one world, so maybe I wasn’t meant to crush through it.

Why am I anxious?

Watch this video on YouTube

I also got to think about what started me on this path, the thing I couldn’t stop thinking about when I started. It’s just the opening question in this song; I just woke up, should I drink water and stretch? Then there’s the following thought along with it, about how I’d do anything to make my life better except for the things that make my life better.

Exercise, even a little bit, can help me feel like I’m doing something, and diminish the feeling of uselessness I have about the way my body has been changing since, you know, I was a teenager. It won’t undo time, but it’ll be something I can recognise.

Day Nine

My foot hurts. I knew it hurt a little last night, but I think if my heel hurts a little when I put weight on it, running is going to make it worse. I opened the game up to let it know that hey, I did open you today, and put it away, rather than try to force exercise while I’m hurt that’ll probably make it worse.

I’m really unhappy about this! I’d really like to continue the streak. I hope tomorrow it goes ‘yeah, you still played the game, it counts.’ But I think it’s going to give me a reminder that I should try and make a habit of it. It was a habit! I woke up, I checked, and then I made a serious decision about my ongoing engagement with the game.

Hmph.

Day Ten

I woke up, and my leg still hurts. I could push it — I could jog despite the pain in my foot — or I could try and rest it, in the hopes it gets better faster. It seems wiser to rest it. At this point, though, I also find myself being annoyed by this, like I’m going to find getting back into the game more annoying with this two day break.

Day Eleven

I had a rough night and woke up at eleven AM. I didn’t even think about Ring Fit, but that was for the best – my foot hurt. I’m worrying a little if by pushing myself, I wound up setting up a cycle.

No Really, The Actual Day 10

Day 9 was three weeks ago. After hurting my foot, I then hurt my leg, and at that point I felt I’d failed. I spent a little time telling myself ‘I should get back into Ring Fit tomorrow,’ and didn’t. Tonight, feeling exhausted after a rough day at school, I thought I’d just… you know. Give it a shot.

An interesting thing that happened is that I went to borrow the Switch from Fox – this is at night, not during the morning when I normally did it – and was almost willing to let it go at the slightest point of resistance. I didn’t want to interfere with her. But she encouraged me to do it, so I did it and returned the thing in, what, less than ten minutes?

I noticed with this, both that I was a little out of sorts with it, but also that it was easier than I expected. I turned the difficulty down a little because I didn’t feel good, but the combats were more convenient and I could hold squats more easily.

Day Eleven

This is the first time I’ve ‘failed’ a level. I think the game is tuned carefully enough that it isn’t that I messed up, but that it wants me to make sure I’m picking up the game’s healing potions – smoothies.

Day twelve

I did it at night, this time, rather than during the day. I woke up later than Fox, and wanted the privacy. Even when she doesn’t make an issue out of it, I really hate feeling like I’m struggling with things like ‘lift your knee to your chest’ a lot.

The wild thing is I don’t think I’m teriffically unfit by the standards of this game. It makes me feel like my struggling is really pathetic.

Day Misc

I know I’ve played it more since this accounting. I have gotten through multiple boss fights. I’ve had to re-do boss fights, and I’ve learned my limits with one of the exercises. I’m also frustrated when I realised that the attacks I was doing felt really weedy even if I was doing a good job on the exercises.

I’ve said it before and I mean it, this game is really good at not being judgmental. It’s a good game. It’s fun, even! I like it! It’s just to get into playing it, I need to get to a place where I’m in a private space and can feel like I’m going to fall apart and be a mess afterwards while I cool down… which is kinda against the problem of a lockdown.

I want to finish this game. I want to do more in this game. I like this game and I like how it lends me structure. I don’t like when I play it and I find some new element of my body goes twang and suddenly I’m grappling with a new discovery about what I can’t do any more.

Also, for getting this far, I’d like to say that I saw someone trying to coin the term ‘exergaming’ for this, and blegh, no.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#GamePile #Games

#Game Pile #Games

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cryptiique · 3 years

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( @mysteriene )

when commander shepard declared her resignation from active duty, there was a great deal of backlash. the galaxy still needs her. the alliance needs her. a spectre doesn’t simply quit. ( if anything, they die. ) won’t she become bored, after a life spent with far more thrills than anyone can expect in a single lifetime? is she too valuable to be allowed rest? but then ━ hasn’t she earned it? haven’t they all earned it?

it is decided that they have ━ or rather, her wife has decided. and the galaxy learns as well as emiko already knows that liara t’soni ( not even needing to mention the shadow broker ) is very difficult to refuse.

the sun rises lazily over the shore, spreading its beams into their little house. the light grants the waves and the sand a shimmering effect, as though the entire planet is a massive crystal. emiko rises not long after the sun itself. she slips from the comfort of their bed with a soft kiss to her wife’s forehead and takes her place upon a mat set before a wall of open glass doors leading out to a deck. it always seemed like an impossible dream when they spoke about taking some time away, somewhere nice. somewhere with a beach.

she doesn’t need to wake liara just yet. she will rise when she likes. in the meantime, she practices her early stretching ━ her cybernetics still creak, and the freshly grown skin grafts protest slightly against the movement. but she is alive. a warm, open smile remains upon her lips as she slowly practices, listening to the sound of her wife’s breathing.

#* ｡✧ ━ ⦅ character: emiko. ⦆#mysteriene #:3cccccccc #sliiiides this to you as well #don't mind me #but bookend threads of the beginning of them and the later of them #bc............#soft............#beach house.............

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paradisecost · 4 years

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@humilemvatis (from here) // “You get what you allow.”

The bard’s eyebrows knit together a bit at that. “I’m… not sure I have any idea what that means, Geralt. Is that some bastardization of ‘you reap what you sow’?”

“No,” said Geralt flatly. He locked the door to their shared room, tossing the key onto Jaskier’s bed for him to put it somewhere safe. It was a well-established routine by now. He’d stopped counting the number of filthy, rundown inns they’d stayed in for the sake of a meal and somewhere warm to sleep over the years.

He crossed the room and sank down onto the edge of his own bed, moving slowly from half-healed wounds and exhaustion. On another night he might have cut the conversation short there, but he didn’t. He flopped back against the mattress instead and sighed, closing his eyes as he talked.

“It means if you let people treat you like shit, they’re going to continue treating you that way.”

#ic: geralt #v: witcher (geralt)#humilemvatis #[ sliiiides this over to you ]#[ listen i dont know what the context is but i can only assume jaskier was talking about having been wronged by someone ]#[ and geralt 'king of bad advice' is like. well. dont let them do that. ]#[ AS IF GERALT ISNT THE KING OF LETTING PEOPLE TREAT HIM BADLY-- ]#[ also i've been playing the game recently and it took me a conscious effort not to call jaskier Dandelion ]

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whysojiminimnida · 2 years

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COAC To Own It, or: It's About Damn Time

And it is About. Damn. Time. So let's get it. Just a little reminder of this rehearsal right here:

youtube

Which was at least partly filmed on the same day as this (credit for superior work ethic, gentlemen):

youtube

And then, assuming wardrobe and timing are correct (they are I'm just being a snot) WE HAVE:

youtube

AND OH MY STARS AND GARTERS Y'ALL. This was uploaded later, in a really weird little "oops we're gonna just sliiiide this right past official channels" kind of way. Eyeball the credits of all the linked Bangtan videos and you tell me. But it's my theory that someone - likely Jungkook - wanted this video seen.

And that's NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT WHATEVER IS GOING ON WITH JIMIN, uhhhh.... sir. Young man. Get that *motions vaguely* whole zipper area thing under control. Or turn off the camera... oh. OKAY THEN.

Y'all can call that a wardrobe problem if it makes you feel less cringey about it. Random Acts of Anatomy exist, though. Still, I kept the sizes small, we don't need stuff getting bigger up in here on today.

As if that wasn't even enough we also have the FESTA performance of COAC itself within the next 24-48 hours (credit to me please steal it you are welcome):

AND then, roughly the same time frame give or take a day or two depending on the shooting schedule, we have this:

youtube

I had paragraphs written on all this. I had essays and dissertations, kids. I SPENT A WEEK OR SO FILLING PAGES WITH THOUGHTS AND NOTES ON THE CHOREO OKAY. Brian Puspos would have been so proud. Drake himself would have sent me a gift basket. BUT. After looking and reading all my bullshit and looking some more, I decided that sometimes we just need to let the Jeon-Parks speak for themselves. We don't do that enough, just sit back and observe and go "huh" and come up with conclusions that aren't being fed to us. I trust that your eyes work as well as mine.

Sometimes we don't pick up what the boys are putting down. Sometimes the camera cuts away.

And sometimes they put it to filthy, filthy Drake lyrics and dance it out and then UPLOAD IT LIKE THEY'RE TELLING US SECRETS. That's my opinion. You're more than welcome to form your own.

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