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multi-kpop-fanfics · 1 year

Text

Drunk-Dazed and Lust-Crazed

pairing: demigod!San x fem!reader (mentions of other idols)

genre: fluff, angst, slowburn, demigod!AU, college!AU

warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption (an unhealthy amount), mentions of anxiety and past trauma, suggestive themes, mentions of violence, knives, blood, (not so minor) character death, cursing

Word count: ~13.8k

Summary: San, the son of Dionysus, decides to descend to the human realm and experience the human ways of having fun for the first time in his life. But he experiences much more than that - danger, recklessness, lust… and love.

Author’s note: This fic is part of the Hamartia (Αμαρτία) collab, hosted by @sleepylixie and @delicatewerewolfsoul! Thank you for letting me participate in this amazing collab <3. The header was made by @intokook (original gif by @fixons). Here’s a mini playlist to get you in the mood of the fic. Another huge thank you to @himbocoups and @bitchlessdino for giving me the necessary push to actually finish this TWO YEAR OLD wip.

taglist: @aliceu @heresyourramen @iwillgiveyoumyhappiness @choism @flowerwonu

This fic does not portray San in real life in any way. This is pure fanfiction.

©multi-kpop-fanfics, 2023. No reposting allowed. No translations allowed without permission.

Olympus.

The home of all Greek Gods, the pinnacle of their power and their majestic residence. Among the known and worshipped gods, only a few selected are able to enjoy a life next to them, most of them being demigods, born from the gods themselves.

Choi San is part of the lucky ones.

A demigod born from the God of Wine and Feast, Dionysus himself. He was born in Korea and lived with his human mother until he was five years old - until Dionysus decided to take him to Olympus and raise him as a god.

Of all the sons and daughters he had, San was his father's favorite for numerous reasons. One of them was his otherworldly beauty - chocolate foxy eyes, a jawline sharper than the most finely-crafted swords, broad shoulders leading to a thin waist and well-defined muscles covering the entire expanse of his body. San's beauty was on par with the beauty of the sons and daughters of Aphrodite, if not above.

But that's not the sole reason.

San had a heart of pure gold. He was kind to everyone, always there to help someone in need, be it physical or psychological. He had a strong sense of justice, standing up for the weak. All these qualities earned him praises from the rulers of Olympus themselves, but San never lost his humble nature and kindness.

However, he had one miniscule flaw. Endless curiosity. And Dionysus has seen countless times how dangerous curiosity can be.

It was another bright day and San was at his usual spot, under the willow tree close to his father's shrine. A flower crown made from pink roses adorned his ashy brown hair. He was laying on the soft grass, twirling one of his white highlights. He loved moments like this, of pure serenity and peace.

But he was slowly getting tired.

He had turned 22 in human age, yet he had never experienced the ways of humans having fun on their birthdays, especially those of his age. Sure, he absolutely loved the feasts his father would prepare - the ambrosia never failed to amaze him, no matter how many times he tasted it.

But deep down, he felt an unexplainable emptiness.

How is it like to have fun like a human? How is it like to go out and party like a human?

How is it like to live like a human?

These questions have been floating in San's mind for a long time now. He has repeatedly tried to convince his father to let him descend to the human realm, but every time, the answer is the same.

“I cannot allow this, the human realm is full of dangers, you haven't seen the things I have.”

Frankly, he's sick and tired of listening to the same thing over and over again. And he has finally worked up to the needed courage and make his wish come true.

San gets up from his spot and sprints to his father's shrine, hoping he would find him there. As he enters the majestic temple, he is both delighted and terrified to see Dionysus himself sitting in the throne, enjoying a glass of wine.

"Ah, San! What brings you here today, my beloved son?"

"Hello Father" San says as he rubs his hands together, trying to get rid of his anxiety.

“Is there something troubling you, my son?” Dionysus asks as he descends from his throne and approaches San. "Actually, there is, but I have finally found the courage to speak", he straightens his posture and Dionysus smiles.

“Go on, boy, I'm all ears.”

San takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to speak.

“As you know, I became 22 years old a few days ago and you asked me for a special gift, but didn't give you an immediate answer. I gave it a lot of thought and I have made up my mind.”

“What is your wish, my son? Speak and I shall grant it.”

“I want to go to the human realm.”

San immediately feels the atmosphere darken as Dionysus drops his smiley facade and anger is written all over his face.

“Time and time again we've had this discussion, my answer remains the same. You will not leave Olympus!” Dionysus growls, but San does not yield.

"I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me one good reason to stay here” he grits his teeth.

“Good reason? Have you gone mad, son? You are living in Olympus, you receive the same treatment as if you were a pure God! What other reason could you possibly need?!”

“I want to know what it's like to live like a human, Father. They are mortal beings, yet they feel like they are immortal, like you. They don't live in the residence of gods and goddesses, but they make it look like they live in paradise. They do not feast and eat ambrosia, but they can party for days as if they are tireless” San explains, holding the stars in his eyes, completely awestruck by the human lifestyle.

“Oh, San… You're still so young and pure, my son. While your words hold the truth, you must never forget that every light casts an equal shadow. There are humans who have more virtues than some gods, but there are also humans whose evil nature can compare to Hades himself. These people will try to take advantage of the kinder souls and I cannot even imagine the horrors some of them have been through” Dionysus admits and San is slightly disheartened at his father's words.

“You, my dear San, are one of the purest souls I have ever encountered in the time I've walked upon in all the existing realms of the universe. A trait definitely inherited by your mother, as well as your beauty” he continues as he caresses San's cheek in a very affectionate way.

“I would be damned if I let you become tainted because of some wretched humans, hence why I took you to Olympus with me.”

“Father, I truly appreciate your worries and I'm beyond thankful for having such a caring father figure. However, I'm not a child anymore. I can handle myself just fine, I've learned how to differentiate people based on their motives. Besides, you have said that I can have everyone in the palm of my hands by just looking at them, right?” San smirks and Dionysus laughs, its echo filling the shrine.

“I guess it cannot be helped anymore. It was bound to happen at some point and apparently, the time is now” he announces and San's eyes double in size.

“Father, are you saying-”

“Yes my son, you are free to visit the human realm as you see fit.”

San literally jumps out of joy due to the good news and hugs his father.

“I will be forever grateful to you, Father!” he says with a beaming smile.

“I am not finished yet, San. You are free to visit the human realm, on one condition: You must not fall in love with a human” Dionysus adds and San is left dumbfounded.

“Um, I… understand, but why?” he asks out of curiosity again.

“Only a few selected demigods are allowed to live in Olympus along with the rest of the gods and goddesses, simply because most of us have a lot of offsprings, for better or worse. However, demigods falling in love with humans usually leads to more offsprings, who still have a fragment of divine power, but end up using it in corrupted ways. As a result, these demigods are forever banished from Olympus” Dionysus explains and San feels a chill run down his spine.

“Worry not, Father. You have my word, my journey in the human realm is purely out of curiosity” he smiles and skips happily out of the shrine.

“If only I could tame the ferocious curiosity you had in you, son. Let's hope it won't get you in trouble.”

A few months later….

Saturday night, the streets of Gangnam are filled with young people, all of them ready to dance and drink the night away, to their hearts' content. All types of restaurants, bars and clubs are almost full, the owners rubbing their hands, as if they already feel the money flow through their cashier machines.

Not everyone has the same thing going on in their minds though - some people want to find someone to spend their night with, someone else wants to drink in order to forget a painful experience and others just want to have fun with their friends or significant other. And there are those people who want all of the above.

San is one of these people.

But there is a basic difference between San and the rest of the world - he is a demigod, which gives him a huge advantage over pretty much everything in talks of tolerance and energy. You could even say he holds an enormous amount of power.

However, the more powerful someone is, the more insatiable they become. Whether it's money, fame, people, the more you get, the more you want. In San's case, it is a bit different - it's living to the complete edge of life itself.

When he first landed on the human realm, it started off quite innocently - it was just a glass of soju with a human boy his age, Wooyoung. This boy had a few more friends and he introduced them to San. Even if he was awkward at first, they quickly made him feel comfortable in the group and San couldn't be any happier.

He felt like he finally belonged somewhere, with people he met and befriended on his own, not because of his supernatural powers, but of his sheer excitement and warmth. He had managed to make his own friends.

The visits at the soju place became more frequent and more crowded, since it wasn't just San and Wooyoung anymore. But after a while, they started getting bored of it and wanted a change. They were boys in their early twenties, after all, it was expected to seek a new experience.

“Yo, wanna check out the new club that opened at the corner of the street? Heard they got some pretty good booze there” Changbin says while downing a shot of soju.

“Booze or boobs?” Yeonjun, another boy in the group, snickers and Changbin raises an empty bottle at Yeonjun's head.

“Why not both? These two are always a good combo” Wooyoung smirks, “Besides, it was about time we did something different, right Sannie?”

San perks up at Wooyoung's words and he can already feel his blood rush faster through his veins.

“Damn right I'm in!” he exclaims and the boys laugh, as they raise their glasses and drink once more.

“I’ll get a head start, need to go check the sound equipment - don’t want anything to fuck up in the middle of the night” Changbin downs another shot of soju.

“I’ll join you, Bin” Yeonjun gets up, putting on his coat.

“You know stuff about consoles, Yeonjun?” San asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Nah, he just wants to fuck around and post stories on socials” Changbin snorts.

“Fuck off, Seo, it’s called promotion - Hak will be thanking me” the taller man throws a light punch on the shorter male’s arm, “Anyways, we’ll be off now - see ya later, darlings” and they disappear from the shop.

“Yah, San, c'mon dude, let's get going, we're gonna be late!” Wooyoung whines, pulling San by his sleeve in a kinda aggressive manner, as they were walking towards their destination, where Changbin and Yeonjun were waiting for them.

“Are you sure we'll be able to get into the club? They did say it's very hard to even get inside, let alone book a table…” San trails off and Wooyoung laughs.

“That is for the commoners, my dear friend, and I assure you, we're not commoners. Besides” he flips his hair dramatically, “The owner's son is a very good friend of ours and a regular at the club on top of that” he winks and San smiles, relieved that they will be able to have fun properly.

“You must have a lot of connections around here, don't you Woo?” San asks, half impressed by his friend.

“Hmm well, not really, it's mostly Yeonjun, 'cause he works in a model agency, so it's normal for him to be popular and have lots of connections here and there.”

“Well, yeah, but...” San trails off, “You’re in a dance crew, aren’t you? I mean, you must be pretty popular too”.

Wooyoung chuckles and San raises an eyebrow in question.

“I do have some tricks up my sleeve, Sannie, but I choose to use them wisely”

“Care to elaborate?” San asks and he is startled by some female voices gasping and giggling.

“Oh my God, it’s Wooyoung!”

“He looks so much hotter in person.”

“Ugh, I could pay for all his drinks just to get his attention.”

“Hey, who’s the hottie with him?”

Wooyoung catches on and sends a wink towards the chattering girls, making them squeal in return. San is stunned by his friend’s action and Wooyoung waves a hand in front of his face.

“See now? That’s what I meant earlier by tricks up my sleeves.”

The boys finally reach the club and witness an alarmingly long line of people waiting to get in.

“Um, are you 100% sure you can get us in?” San asks again and Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

“Watch with your own eyes.” and he goes in front of the security guards, he shows a card and as if on cue, they open the door. San's mouth hangs open in surprise and Wooyoung laughs, waving to him to follow him, completely ignoring the infuriated beeline of people shouting in protest.

As they finally get inside the club, San is greeted by neon lights, loud EDM music playing through the huge speakers and people around his age dancing and drinking mindlessly on the first and second floor of the club. For most people, it would be a cacophony of fun, but to San, it was one of the most exciting things he had ever witnessed in his entire life.

“Finally, what the fuck took you so long?!” Changbin yells to make himself heard over the noise.

“Fuck off, Bin, we're here now” Wooyoung sneers, “Hey, Hak, what's up, bro?” he greets the unfamiliar boy.

“All good, Woo, the usual shit. I see you brought a new friend with you.” the boy says, looking at San with a beaming smile.

“Hey buddy, I'm Juhaknyeon, but you can call me Haknyeon or just Hak.”

“Nice to meet you, Haknyeon, I'm San.” San greets back the boy.

Is he really the owner's son? He looks way too innocent, San thinks as he studies Haknyeon's face - light brown hair falling on his forehead, pink plush lips, big brown eyes and a beaming smile. If he wasn't human, he could easily be a son of Aphrodite.

“What's your order?” Haknyeon asks San.

“My order?”

“He means what you're going to drink, dumbass” Yeonjun laughs and San is startled.

“O-Oh! I'm fine with anything, honestly” he waves his hands in defeat and Wooyoung exchanges a knowing glance with Yeonjun. Changbin looks at them and facepalms, already knowing what is coming up.

“Oh boy, you did not just say that” he mumbles and San is left dumbfounded.

“Did I say anything wrong?”

“Depends on how well you handle your liquor” Haknyeon replies.

“Pretty well, actually” San admits - he's the son of Dionysus after all, but that's a detail he shouldn't share. Wooyoung and Yeonjun snicker almost maliciously at San's words and he raises an eyebrow.

“We'll see about that, Sannie boy” Wooyoung smirks and yells to the waiter to bring them a round of shots and a bottle of whiskey.

“Tonight, my friend, is the night you'll get shitfaced and laid.”

To say that Yeonjun and Wooyoung were surprised would be a total understatement.

They half-believed San when he said he could handle his liquor, but they definitely did not expect this.

“One more!” San yells and the newly swarming crowd around him starts hollering, egging him on to down another round of tequila shots. Haknyeon was watching in pure amusement, while the original troublemakers were hanging their heads in defeat.

“Which round was that?” Yeonjun asks.

“Dude, I swear I’ve lost count, this motherfucker has no mercy” Wooyoung half-whines, still not able to accept his embarrassing defeat “Even Bin is on the verge of passing out, for fucks sake!”

Of course, San was in his own happy world, drinking to the point of alcohol poisoning, but looking and feeling like woke up from the most refreshing sleep ever. Suddenly, he feels a lithe hand smoothing over his shoulder and he turns around to see one of the girls who were fawning over him and Wooyoung a few hours earlier.

“Oh hey, I remember you!” San remarks in an enthusiastic manner and the girl gives a sultry smile.

“Hey cutie, thought it would be a good idea to say hi” she says and trails a manicured nail down his chest, “Wanna talk somewhere more...private?” she tilts her head in a suggestive manner.

Something clicks in San’s brain, as if a switch was turned on and unleashed a brand new sensation all over his body.

It was a strange feeling and it was making him feel hot everywhere.

Lust.

In a split second, he grabs the girl’s wrist and pulls her to the club restroom, the music significantly lower now, drowned in the background. He pushes her on the wall, hands firm on her waist.

“Is that private enough for you, sweetheart?” San licks his lips and tilts his head towards the girl’s neck, his breath fawning over her skin.

“Hot and smart, you’re a catch, pretty boy” she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a feverish kiss. He could taste the alcohol on her tongue, but he didn’t care and neither did the girl. They were both too caught up in the moment to care about such things, any hint of rational thinking was gone, replaced by lust and need.

San pulls away momentarily, a thin string of saliva connecting their lips. He looks at the girl’s swollen lips, a train of not so innocent thoughts running through his mind.

“Cat got your tongue, baby?” she asks with a sultry smirk.

“Hmm not really”, San retorts and twirls one of her hair strands around his pointer finger, “Just thinking about whether I should take you to my house or fuck you right here” he bites the skin between the base of her neck and her shoulder, eliciting a lewd moan from her lips.

“But then again, a pretty little girl like you doesn’t deserve to be taken in a filthy restroom, am I right?” he asks rhetorically and the girl nods feverishly. He then pulls away and leads her out of the restroom and back to the table, giving her her stuff.

“Let’s get out of here, shall we, sweetheart?” San smirks and rushes out of the club with the girl, his friends completely forgotten.

The morning finds San in his familiar bed and shirtless, which is occupied only by him, no sight of the girl he brought over last night. He notices a small note with a lipstick mark on it, something scribbled on it. She probably left her number, he thinks and ignores it. He gets up and goes to the bathroom to freshen up a bit - yes, even demigods need a splash of water to wake up. As he feels the cold water splash on his skin, he lifts his head and looks at his reflection in the mirror.

“Holy shit…” he mumbles, as he traces his hand over the very visible hickeys on his neck and the expanse of his chest. A cacophony of purple and red blotches covering his pale skin.

“Damn, was she a vampire or something?” he continues and turns to see his back, covered in red streaks, probably nail scratches. San remembers and a smug smirk spreads on his lips. A string of whimpers, moans and screams, spilling from the girl’s lips, as he drove her over the edge last night, more than once.

What was even more fascinating is that he had zero sexual experience beforehand. Suddenly, he feels like a light bulb just lit up inside his brain.

Since when did I get so confident?

He tries to recall the sequence of the events that occured last night.

When did it all start? As soon as I entered the club? No, I was too stiff. When I met Hak? Nope, I was kinda awkward at first. Ugh, think San, think-

His trail of thoughts is cut short by the sound of his ringing phone. He goes back to his bedroom and picks it up without a second thought.

“Hello?”

“CHOI SAN, YOU FUCKING BITCH, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO LAST NIGHT?!” San winces at Wooyoung’s loud voice echoing through the speaker.

“Dude, it’s 9:30 in the morning, could you not scream into my ear?” he complains and he hears the familiar scoff of his friend.

“Oh I’m sorry, your Highness, but that’s how I react when my bank account is fucking bleeding because a certain someone decided to drink his entire existence in the club!” Wooyoung snarls angrily and San is hit with a reality check.

“How much did you guys pay?” he asks, voice laced with guilt.

“You want the total amount or your share?”

“Option number two, please.”

“....210 bucks.”

San chokes on thin air at the sound of the amount.

“Just...how much did I drink last night?!”, he asks, completely mortified.

“Hmm, let’s see… Definitely a bottle of whiskey, three plain vodka glasses and some rounds of shots. Although I lost count after the seventh one probably,’cause I was pretty much wasted” Wooyoung explains.

“Oh my God, why the fuck didn’t you stop me?!”

“I dunno bro, you were having the time of your life, even Haknyeon was amused.”

And then it clicked. San’s eyes went wide from the realization.

“Hey Woo?”

“Yes, San?”

“What do you mean by having the time of my life?”

“Which part of the sentence exactly did you not understand?”

“Let me rephrase the question: When did it actually start?”

“Uhhh, around the time you started downing alcohol like it was water? I can’t remember much, but you looked like you could take over the world, man.”

San feels like he’s about to lose his mind.

“Woo, I gotta go, talk to you later bro.”

“What the f-” Wooyoung doesn’t get to finish his sentence as San has already hung up.

He rushes to the kitchen and rummages the cupboards, searching for any trace of alcohol. His mind is racing with all the possible scenarios playing out in his head. He manages to find a can of beer and he runs back to the bathroom, the can still in his hand. His eyes drift between the mirror and the can, hesitant to take the next step.

He takes a deep breath to calm down and pops the beer can open.

“Okay, here goes nothing…” he mutters and gulps down the beer. He slams the empty can on the bathroom counter and he breathes heavily. He looks at his reflection and his eyes are blown wide as he witnesses the hickeys on his body slowly fade away, his smooth skin now back to its original state. San threads his fingers in his silky hair and starts laughing almost like a lunatic. It all made sense now - the surge of confidence, the crazy stamina and now the fading hickeys.

He isn’t just immune to the effects of alcohol, it makes him stronger.

San is lost in a euphoric daze, he wants to scream, let the whole world know the power he holds. He’s snapped out of it once his phone screen lights up, a message from Changbin in their group chat.

binniebinniechangbinnie: Yo losers, I’m gonna be the dj at Noir Club next Thursday, wanna join???

yeonjun choimbell: DUDE I’M DOWN

San grins evilly and starts typing back.

mountainchoi: Count me in too bro

jungsexywoo: how kind of you to grace us with your presence mr. Choi

jungsexywoo: AFTER HANGING UP ON MY FACE-

mountainchoi: IT WAS AN EMERGENCY, OKAY?

yeonjun choimbell: yeah emergency *snorts*

mukhaknyeon: all good bro? you kinda disappeared last night-

mountainchoi: yeah, thanks for asking and sorry :’)

jungsexywoo: yeah, disappeared to GET HIS DICK WET

jungsexywoo: AND DIDN’T EVEN PAY FOR THE DRINKS

mountainchoi: I’LL MAKE AMENDS, OKAY?

yeonjun choimbell: are you paying for everything on Thursday then-

mountainchoi: yes.

binniebinniechangbinnie: WAIT-

jungsexywoo: FOR REAL????

mukhaknyeon: damn, that’s some real ass flex bro

jungsexywoo: you better not disappear again or i’ll rip your balls off-

mountainchoi: i swear on the whiskey i drank last night

yeonjun choimbell: OH FUCK HE’S SERIOUS

binniebinniechangbinnie: BRO I’MMA RESERVE THE BEST TABLE FOR YA

mukhaknyeon: We wouldn’t have it any other way ;)

jungsexywoo: OH MY GOD WE’RE GETTING WASTED BITCHES🤪

mountainchoi: damn right we are😏

San closes his phone, a wide Cheshire-like smirk spreading on his lips, his mind already racing with the endless possibilities that could take place on Thursday.

And boy, he was in for a treat from Fate herself.

“Come on Y/N, please, just this once!” your best friend Yeji begs, but you still hold your ground.

“Hwang Yeji, I love you, you’re my best friend, but I will not come to that godforsaken club!” you deadpan and she whines.

“But whyyy?”

“Because I don’t like clubs and you’re asking me to come with you on a THURSDAY NIGHT” you add, punctuating the last two words by furiously typing on your keyboard.

“Can you at least pay even the miniscule attention to me or is that essay of yours more important than ME?” Yeji mocks and you glare at her.

“Of course you’re important to me, but I’m afraid that if I don’t hand in this essay by the end of the next week, I’m doomed” you complain.

“That’s exactly why I want you to come with me to the club!” she chirps and you grimace.

“Are you trying to help or bring me closer to my doom?”

“Oh just shut up and listen to me for once!” she smacks your head and you rub it in a soothing manner.

“You’ve been holed up in your room all this time, trying to keep up with your studies. I admire you for that, don’t get me wrong, but you need to live a little too!” she explains and you’re thrown into overthinking mode.

“You’re not wrong, but still-”

“Ah ah ah! No buts, you’re coming to the party.” she slams her hand on the table and you flinch.

“Yeji!”

“Y/F/N Y/L/N, you will come to Noir Club on Thursday night, even if I have to drag you out of your room! Not that I’ll have any problem with that since Giselle is coming too…” and your eyes widen at the mention of your roommate’s name.

“Giselle is coming with you?!”

“Yes, and so will you”.

“...Will there be good music at least?” you ask sheepishly and Yeji’s foxy eyes light up.

“IS THAT A YES?!”

“Answer the question, Yeji.”

“Do you know Seo Changbin from the Arts department?”

“Yeah, he’s friends with Jisung, why do you ask?” you raise an eyebrow.

“He will be the DJ of the night” and your eyes perk up.

“Hmm, interesting” you mumble and Yeji smirks.

“Oh? Now you’re interested? Bitch, do you have the hots for Bin?!” she nudges your arm playfully and you swat her away.

“No you idiot, I’m hoping that Jisung might be there too, it will make the party a bit more bearable.”

“Boo you wh-”

“Don’t you dare say it.” you threaten her and she raises her arms in defense.

“Well, my job here is done, you’re free to continue your pitiful essay, see ya on Thursday night!” she waves cheekily.

“We see each other every day, you dumbass!”, you yell.

“Yeah, but you don’t count as a human with these clothes!” she yells back and you gasp, making her laugh.

I’ll show you, you minx, just you wait until Thursday, you think.

Thursday night came around and you were contemplating on your outfit, standing completely clueless in front of your open closet.

“What the fuck does someone wear at a club?!” you whine helplessly and your roommate Giselle peeks her head through your room.

“Need help?” she asks.

“Yes please, I’m lost here” you huff in defeat and she skips happily next to you.

“There is one basic rule when it comes to club parties - the flashier, the better” she grins and you grimace.

“You just said that to a minimalist, Gi.”

“Geez, Y/N, don’t be such a buzzkill. Besides, there must be something in your wardrobe suitable enough for tonight” she adds as she rummages through the hangers.

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in there” you mumble and you hear an obnoxious gasp from Giselle.

“Then what is THIS?!” she squeals as she gazes over a black velvet slip dress, one that you hadn’t worn in a long time.

“Y/N, this is it, you must wear this!” she hands it over to you and you look at it, smile slowly fading away at the memories coursing through your mind.

It was a gift from him, for your 21st birthday. It was also his last gift.

“I’m sorry Giselle, but I cannot wear this dress” you put it back into the closet.

“But… why not? It’s the most beautiful dress you have and you look amazing in it” she slightly frowns.

“That’s exactly why I can’t wear it” you reply and Giselle gives you a sad smile and hugs you softly.

“I know you miss him, bubs, we all do. But he would never want you to be sad” she states and you wrap your arms around her tight, fully knowing she is right.

He loved seeing you happy, no matter the reason.

“I hate you when you’re all wise and shit” you grunt and she laughs.

“Now now, we should get ready for the club, the last thing I want is Yeji yelling at me for standing her up” Giselle rolls her eyes playfully and you both scramble to get ready.

You should have refused.

You knew it was a terrible idea, yet you joined them, in hopes to have fun. The club was booming from the loud music, people of all ages either half-drunk or stupid enough to grind on each other on the dance floor. This was already a waste of time and you couldn’t believe you actually got all dressed up just to see this. The thought of watching Netflix back in your room curled up in your blankets crossed your mind.

Giselle and Yeji, on the other hand, were having the time of their life - They were on the podium next to Changbin, who was excitedly chatting with them. You could spot a group of boys behind him, probably his group of friends who reserved the best spot - the perks of being the DJ of the night, you thought, as you sipped on your Aperol.

If there’s one thing you were actually enjoying, it was your drink.

Your eyes mindlessly drifted around the club again, only to lock eyes with a boy around your age from the familiar loud group. You swore you could feel the intensity from his piercing gaze on your skin. You break off the eye-contact in a split-second, not wanting to seem obnoxious. You really wanted to get out of here.

Why did I agree to this? Why did I dress like that? I shouldn’t have worn heels, dammit-

“Hey.”

Your trail of thoughts is cut short by a smooth voice behind you and to your dismay, you turn around to see the same boy who was looking at you not a while ago. Although the word ‘boy’ definitely fails to describe him.

Short, black hair slicked back with gel showing his undercut, high cheekbones and a jawline sharp enough to cut diamonds, a crimson crushed velvet suit framing his toned body. He was wearing only a vest under the jacket, no undershirt and you could spot the black swirling ink creeping from his collarbones, seemingly in the shape of roses. He screamed danger, everything about him was a red flag.

“I saw you looking earlier.” he muses and you sip your drink.

“So were you.”you bite back and he smiles.

“It would be rude of me to ignore a beautiful presence here”

“Is that what you tell every girl you lay your eyes on?”

“Only the interesting ones.”

“So you admit I’m interesting?”

“You’ll get even more interesting if you tell me your name.”

Damn, was he smooth.

“Y/N.” you give out your hand and he flashes a sultry smirk.

“Choi San, delighted to make your acquaintance, Y/N.” he takes your hand and presses a soft kiss on the back, giving you a sly wink.

“An Aperol? You must be a lightweight” he states.

“Not really, just.... not a fan of heavy alcohol” you deadpan.

“You don’t look like you’re having fun, unlike your friends over there” and he nods over to Yeji and Giselle who now dance with some of San’s friends.

“They dragged me here, I had no intention of coming… here” you grimace and he chuckles.

“And what if I told you that I can make your night more interesting?” he asks and you raise an eyebrow to his suggestion.

“And what could you possibly have in mind?” you ask.

“Let’s go to my house and you’ll see” he whispers suggestively and your murderous instincts come out. You start chuckling, running a hand through your hair and swirling your drink with the other. In a split second, you dropped your happy facade and with that, your Aperol on San’s velvet suit.

He gasps with a laugh as you storm out of the club, your night completely ruined. He turns towards his friends who are left stunned at what happened. Yeji and Giselle rush to catch up with you, heels clicking on the pavement.

“Y/N, wait! Stop running!” Yeji shouts and you turn around to see your friends panting from running.

“What happened back there?” Giselle asks, visibly worried.

“What happened is that I should have stayed home and not come to this fucking hellhole!” you yell.

“Honey, please calm down-”

“Calm down?! Yeji, are you fucking kidding me?! An entitled asshole just tried to take me back to his house, thinking he was some random hook-up!”

“Y/N, listen to me-”

“No, I’m sorry, but this is too much. I just… I just want to go home” you choke back a sob. Giselle and Yeji look at each other and they nod. “Are you two onto something here?” you ask sheepishly.

“Nothing serious, just contemplating what we should eat for take out” Giselle smiles and the three of you laugh.

“Come on, let’s go home” Yeji says and you walk back home with your friends.

“Dude, what the fuck was that?!” Wooyoung wheezes and Haknyeon glares at him.

“Okay, but seriously, San, what happened?” he asks, but his question falls on deaf ears.

“San?” Changbin waves his hand in front of San’s face, but without effect.

“Oh God, he’s broken” Yeonjun facepalms.

“Y/N, huh….” San mutters as his brain replays your eventful meeting.

“Did you say something, bro?” Changbin asks and the rest of the boys turn their heads to San.

“That girl… is really something, isn’t she?” he says with an interested smile.

“Uh, which one? I danced with at least four” Wooyoung snorts.

“He’s asking about the girl who turned him down, bitch” Haknyeon smacks Wooyoung and he whines, rubbing his head.

“Oh, you mean Y/N?” Changbin perks up at the mention of your name.

“You know her?!” San almost leaps on his friend and he’s taken aback.

“Y-yeah, she’s friends with a friend of mine from university” Changbin says and San’s eyes light up at the opportunity of seeing you again. San looks at Changbin with puppy eyes, practically begging him and it doesn’t take more than 5 seconds to realize his ulterior motive.

“No.”

“But why?!” San whines, “This might be the only chance I’ll ever have!”

“I know, but I cannot let you be ridiculed like that again, bro” Changbin deadpans.

“Ouch” Yeonjun mumbles and San sends him a death glare.

“What Bin is trying to say is that he doesn’t want to see his friend getting heartbroken” Haknyeon explains.

“I don’t care.” San blurts out, “I want to see her.”

“Are you sure about this? I mean it’s easy for-”

“I said I want to see her” he nearly growls and the boys are taken aback.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this determined before, Sannie” Wooyoung pipes up, “I definitely don’t want to miss this” he smiles in a flamboyant way.

“Just say that you want to see Yeji again” Yeonjun smirks and Wooyoung grimaces to the black-haired model.

“Ugh, I have classes tomorrow, but I’mma skip ‘cause there’s no way I’ll be able to wake up” Changbin rubs his temples, “So yeah, if you want to see Y/N, you gotta wait a bit, bro.”

“It’s okay Bin, I can wait...Perhaps it’s better that way” San mutters, already anticipating your future meeting.

Tuesday, 10:30 AM.

“Ugh, finally, this class is over!” Giselle squeals triumphantly and you roll your eyes at her.

“You love Ancient Greek History so much, don’t you?”

“I don’t hate it, but when it’s a two hour long lecture and I haven’t had a single sip of coffee? No thank you” she laughs.

“Now that you mention it, wanna stop by the cafeteria?” you ask and Giselle lights up at your suggestion.

“You are doing me a huge favor right now bestie” she hugs you.

“I wanna go to the cafeteria too, Jisung sent me a message he’ll be there” you say.

“Ohhh, so that’s why you want to go… Sneaky bitch” Giselle smirks.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t see Jisung that way?! He’s just a friend!” you grimace.

“Yeah yeah, sure thing, Y/N~” she sing-songs.

A few minutes later, you push the familiar glass door and you see your friend Jisung sitting on a table on his own, headphones connected to his phone, humming an unfamiliar tune. You and Giselle sit down and he cracks a beaming smile once he sees you.

“Oh! Hi girls, how you doin’?” Jisung asks happily.

“I’ll be fine once I drink coffee” Giselle groans.

“Don’t mind her, we had a two-hour lecture on Ancient Greek History” you explain.

“Oof, that’s harsh” Jisung grimaces, “But it’s over now and you can enjoy your break time, right?”

“Couldn’t agree more. By the way, why are you here on your own?” Giselle asks.

“Oh, I’m actually waiting for Changbin, he said he’ll drop by with two of his friends” he replies and you exchange questioning glances with your roommate.

“Do you know them?”

“Nope, I’m as clueless as you are” he pouts, “Anyways, I’m going to the counter, three iced americanos?” and both of you nod in unison.

As soon as Jisung leaves the table, you turn to Giselle, who tries to read your expression.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” you ask.

“If you’re thinking about the possibility of Changbin’s hot fuckboy gang showing up, the answer is yes” she smirks.

“You’re happy?!”, you whisper-yell.

“What if that asshole comes here?!”

“Y/N, calm down, the chances of him showing up here are miniscule. If anything, he looks like the type to hang around fancy places and the university cafeteria is not one of them. Besides, his other friends weren’t so bad, especially Haknyeon, he’s really cute-”

“You think I’m cute?” an unfamiliar voice asks behind you and you turn around to see a very handsome boy around your age, smiling towards a furiously blushing Giselle.

“Uh, um, I- yes, I think... you’re... cute… I guess” she fiddles with her hair and the pretty boy cracks a beaming smile.

“You’re really cute too, Giselle”

“You remember me?!” she squeals and you choke back a laugh.

“Yes, I do, I actually asked you for your social media” he rubs his neck and Giselle gasps in realization.

“Oh my God, you’re right! I’m so stupid” she facepalms and Haknyeon laughs.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay! Although I don’t remember meeting your friend back in the club” he turns his attention to you.

“I… left earlier that night, I wasn’t feeling very well. I’m Y/N, by the way, it’s nice to meet you, Haknyeon” you smile sheepishly and his eyes shoot up at your name.

“No way! It’s you! You’re the girl that-”

“You guys know each other?” Jisung shows up with the iced americanos, Changbin by his side.

“We sort of met last Thursday at the club I was DJing for” the black haired male pipes up.

”Aw shit, I wish I could have come, bro” Jisung whines while sipping on his coffee.

“Yeah, me too” you mumble, reviving the sour memories.

“Why do you say that, Y/N? Didn’t you have fun?” he asks.

“An asshole wanted to take her back to his house and fuck her like some cheap whore” Giselle spits and Haknyeon and Changbin exchange worried glances, knowing full well that within seconds, the quiet cafeteria will most likely turn into a warzone.

“Can we please not talk about it? The last thing I want right now is to talk about him” you grit through your teeth.

“And who might that be?”

You freeze in your spot, the familiar voice sending a chill down your spine - not the pleasant kind. You turn your head towards Changbin and behind him stands your worst nightmare in the face of none other than Choi San himself. He locks eyes with you and you swore you saw a strange glint flash momentarily. Giselle was shocked, frozen next to you, Haknyeon and Changbin having regret written all over their faces. Your fight-or-flight instincts kick in and you pick up your bag, rushing out of the door without a word, leaving everyone behind completely baffled.

“Y/N!” you hear San’s voice call to you and you speed up, not wanting to face him, but to your dismay, he’s fast enough to catch up to you and grab your wrist.

“What the hell do you want from me?!” you yell and pull back your wrist aggressively.

“I just want to talk to you! Is that so bad?” he retorts and you scoff.

"What could I possibly have in common to discuss with the likes of you?" you spit with a venomous tone and San is taken aback by your aggressive tone.

He takes a step closer and pulls you, his breath fanning over your cheeks, too close for comfort.

"You know nothing about me, so you better not make assumptions about me, sweetheart" and he punctuates the pet name, making your breath hitch. He notices and smirks smugly as he lets you go.

"For someone who hates people like me, you get way too bothered when I call you that, don't you now, Y/N"

"Of course I get bothered when a scum like you calls me what Yun- calls me that" you correct mid-sentence and San raises a questioning eyebrow, but lets it slide for now.

“Whatever makes your boat float, love. I just wanted to apologize to you and perhaps start over" he admits and you scoff.

"Yeah, in your dreams, asshole"

"My name is San"

"I don't fucking care" you spit and leave San behind, heading to your dorm. Fate really had a peculiar way of playing with you.

"San!" Changbin calls his friend, huffing in the meantime.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Does calling me an asshole count?" San mutters in defeat and Changbin frowns.

"Is it that bad?"

"Yep. And it doesn't seem like getting any better" he runs his hand through his hair. A chuckle escapes Changbin’s lips and San glares towards his friend.

“What’s so funny?”

“You said you wanted to get under Y/N’s skin, but so far, it’s the other way around. And you seem to like it, loverboy”

“Shut the fuck up, Bin. And don’t call me loverboy!”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re so not in love with her.”

San sends a death glare to his friend and walks back to the cafeteria without a word, leaving Changbin behind, who was rolling his eyes.

Tuesday, 11:00 PM.

You were beyond tired - physically and mentally. The lectures ended around 4 and as soon as you finished, you headed straight to the library and then back to your shared apartment. You had zero energy to deal with anything and anyone - especially after your encounter with San at the cafeteria.

“Could you at least explain what the hell happened back there?” Giselle asks and you try to find the right words to tell her as you fiddle with the hem of your shirt.

“Remember the guy who followed me after I left the cafeteria?”

“Short black undercut, black v-neck sweater, rose tattoos on his collarbones? Yes, I most certainly do” she replies in full detail and you roll your eyes.

“That was him”

“Him?”

“The guy who hit on me at the club last Thursday”

“WHAT?!” Giselle squeals from surprise.

“Welcome on planet Earth, enjoy your stay” you mock and she smacks your arm.

“Okay damn, now I understand why you fled like that”

“Yeah, I still feel horrible about that” you mumble, “I ran without saying a word and left everyone behind thanks to that asshole”

“Handsome asshole-”

“Giselle!”

“Hey, he might be an asshole, but he’s drop dead hot, okay?” she retorts and you groan.

“Anyways, why was he here?” your roommate asks and you huff.

“Apparently, he wanted to apologize for his behaviour back in the club and he subtly hinted that he wants a second chance” you explain.

“Okay, maybe he’s not a complete asshole-”

“He called me sweetheart.”

“Oh no, that’s code red”

“Exactly.”

A few seconds of silence pass and Giselle sits up, facing you.

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to give him a second chance?”

“No.”

“You didn’t even think about it!”

“Exactly, because there’s no way I’m wasting my time with someone like him” you state with certainty.

“Well, it’s your decision and I respect it. But don’t you dare come to me when you fall for San” she warns.

“Not happening!” you yell back.

“Thanks for staying tonight Woo” San says to his friend as he brings a blanket and a pillow, placing them on the couch.

“Don’t even mention it, it’s the least I could do after not keeping my promise to be your wingman” Wooyoung admits with a hint of guilt.

“Even if you did, I don’t think the situation would have turned out any better” San frowns and his friend’s eyes widen. He then skips to the kitchen, rummaging the cupboards for a few seconds and he returns with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

“Really now?”

“Did you really think you would tell me what happened without drinking alcohol?” Wooyoung deadpans.

“Bro, we’re wearing sweats.”

“Your point being, Sannie?”

“I hate you, Wooyoung”

“I love you too. Now start talking” Wooyoung snickers as he pours the whiskey into the glasses and hands the one to San, clinking them in the process.

A couple of glasses and an empty whiskey bottle later, Wooyoung is left utterly dumbfounded, still trying to process San’s story.

“To summarize, you’re telling me that you went to the campus, found Y/N, you tried to apologize and she shut you down?”

“Yep” San replies, punctuating the ‘p’.

“Damn bro, you are in for a ride with this one”

“I didn’t expect that either, to be honest. But it won’t be long before she falls for me” San takes a sip from his glass.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, dude. Don’t take this the wrong way, but from what you told me and from Changbin’s info, dear Y/N is not your local fuck-of-the-night girl. Hell, she’s even a History major or something” Wooyoung throws his hands in the air from frustration, all while San is completely frozen in his spot.

“A history major?”

“Oh please, don’t ask for details, I have half a brain right now” Wooyoung whines, “Can we just… go to sleep for now?”

“Sounds like a good idea”, San agrees.

“Goodnight, San.”

“Goodnight, Wooyoung.”

Later that night.....

Your skin was flushed, a thin layer of sweat covering your body, his lips creating a symphony of red and purple patterns, a blank canvas now slowly turning into his favorite masterpiece. Your whimpers and airy moans sound like Apollo’s music, if not better. Your hands search for his own, eyes seething with a mixture of lust and need. His name is rolling from your lips like a prayer.

“San…”

“...San, buddy, wake up! San!”

San lurches forward, drenched in sweat and panting heavily, eyes blown wide.

“Dude, are you okay?!” Wooyoung puts his hands on San’s shoulders.

“W-water…” San mutters and the other male runs to the kitchen, returning with a glass full of water a few seconds later. San grabs the glass and downs it in one go, gasping loudly.

“Was it a nightmare?” Wooyoung asks.

“N-Not exactly…”, San mutters, “I saw her, Woo.”

“Her?”

A few seconds of silence pass and Wooyoung realizes who San is referring to.

“You dreamt of Y/N?”

“Yes, I fucking did!” San whines and runs his hands through his black hair anxiously.

“Bro, calm down, it was just a dream!”

“No, I can’t fucking calm down Woo! This was not supposed to happen!”

“San, you just saw a dream about a girl you l-”

“Don’t you dare complete the sentence” San threatens with a raised finger.

“Or what? You’ll punish me?” Wooyoung taunts.

“Now is not the time for jokes,Woo”, San grits and his friend scoffs.

“Why are you suddenly acting like this? A few days ago you were all puppy eyes to Bin in order to see Y/N again and now you’re in denial? Just admit you’ve fallen in love with her!”

San falls on his knees as the realization hits him like a ton of bricks and he can hear his father’s words echoing in his head.

“Do not fall in love with a human, or else you’ll be banished from Olympus forever.”

“No no no no no no!” he yells, gradually losing his temper, “This should have never happened to me!”

“What do you mean?! It happens to anyone, you idiot, you’re not special!”, Wooyoung yells back.

“I am special and a human like you could never understand!” San snaps and the two-toned haired male is taken aback by his words.

“What the fuck did you say, Choi San?” he narrows his eyes towards San.

“No, you motherfucker, you don’t get to be a self-entitled bitch, thinking you’re some sort of god and we’re suddenly lower than you!” Wooyoung growls.

“And what if I am?” San raises a partially mocking eyebrow.

“What?”

“You heard me, Jung Wooyoung”

“Are you actually saying that you’re...a god?”

“Well, a demigod to be exact-”

“Cut the bullshit, are you drunk or something?!” Wooyoung yells in disbelief

“I cannot get drunk, even if I wanted to” San replies, “You should have noticed that by now.”

Wooyoung looks at San completely baffled, as he tries to understand whether his friend has gone insane or he’s actually telling the truth. However, he can’t help but think back to all the times they went out for drinks with the rest of the boys and every single time, San was the only fully sober one, despite drinking a dangerous amount of alcohol.

“No, it can’t be… There has to be a logical explanation!” Wooyoung gasps and San goes to the kitchen and brings back a knife and a small bottle of what seems to look like vodka.

“If the times we went out drinking doesn’t convince you, then this will.” He takes the knife in his hand and creates a cut on his left palm, blood starting to gush from the freshly opened wound.

“San, are you insane?! Stop-”

“Watch.”

San opens the small vodka bottle and gulps it down instantly. Wooyoung watches as the bleeding cut on his friend’s palm completely heals in front of his eyes and the skin looks as good as new. He stumbles backwards in sheer horror, not being able to fully comprehend the situation at hand.

“What kind of fucked up sorcery is this…?” he breathes heavily, “What are you?”

San takes a deep breath before explaining everything.

“I’m a demigod, my father is the God of Wine and Feast, Dionysus and my mother is hu-”

“Get to the fucking point” Wooyoung grits his teeth and San continues.

“Alcohol is the source of my power - healing, enhanced senses, all of that.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why didn’t you say anything, you asshole?!” Wooyoung yells.

“I was fucking scared! Did you really think I could just waltz into someone’s life and be like ‘Hi my name is San and I’m a demigod’ as if it was the most normal thing in the world?!” the black-haired man yells back, “You would have run away in the blink of an eye!”

“No you asshole, I would never do that!”

“How can you be so sure about that?!”

“BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO! THEY TRUST EACH OTHER!”

“But.. you are my friend, Woo”

“Am I, San? ‘Cause it doesn’t seem like that’s the case any more” Wooyoung picks up his hoodie and throws it over his head haphazardly, picking up his stuff in a hurry, his hand on the doorknob.

“I don’t intend on snitching you to the rest of the guys… But you better sort out your shit before it’s too late, San.”

And with that, he closes the door behind him, a deafening silence engulfing the living room. A single tear falls on San’s cheek and another one follows.

What have I done?

Wednesday, 6:00 PM.

It has been three weeks since San and Wooyoung had their fight and to San's dismay, it had affected the rest of the boys as well. They had grown distant over the days, with the exception of Haknyeon actually trying to patch up things between the two, even if he didn't know the real reason behind their argument. Yeonjun was too caught up in his own business, his schedule fully packed with photoshoots and Changbin had to catch up with his own classes.

Hence why San is sitting alone in the diner, a bowl of ramen in front of him long abandoned. The last few weeks had been rough on him and it was quite visible on his appearance - his hair covering his forehead, not in the usual slicked back style, a pair of black sweats and a grey hoodie, his outfit being a sheer contrast to his usual style. His eyes had visible bags due to the lack of sleep - partially because of you constantly appearing in his dreams, whether you were just there or underneath him.

As if on cue, he hears the door jingle open and his attention is momentarily on you entering the diner alone, a couple of thick books on your right arm. He couldn't help but stare at you, even your slightly disheveled hair due to the chilly breeze looking prettier than Aphrodite's hair. You place the books on an empty table with a soft thud and sit down, waiting for a waiter to take your order, as you open the books to start your assignments. San hears the short conversation between the waiter and you, his mind wandering, completely missing your surprised look when you spot him across your table. He subconsciously turns his head when he finally meets your frozen gaze and he's left stunned as well. Instinctively, he throws a pair of dollars on the table and rushes out of the diner.

"Hey, wait!" you yell at him but your plea falls on deaf ears, as San runs on the pavement, making a sharp turn to cross the road ahead. He doesn't even look at the sideways and steps on the road, completely ignoring the incoming truck. Despite the constant honking of the truck driver, San is lost in his own world, not paying attention to the traffic ahead. You watch as the truck inches closer and closer to San in front of your eyes and the painful memories of your boyfriend's death cross your mind.

No, not again!, your brain screams and in the blink of an eye, your body lurches forward, pulling San back at the last minute and you stumble back on the pavement, your back flat on the ground and San on top of you. It takes him a couple of seconds to realize he’s laying on top of you, your face morphed in a scowl, due to pain and fear. He looks at you with wide eyes and gets up immediately, helping you get up as well.

“Are you o- Ow!” and he’s cut off by a sharp punch on his chest - your punch, specifically.

“Are you fucking insane?! What the hell was that for?! You could have been dead by now!” you scream at him, a stray tear running down your cheek out of frustration.

“I… I.. don’t know…” San admits breathlessly and you drag him back into the diner, away from the slowly forming crowd around you.

Fifteen minutes later, you’re still sitting at the same table with a very much silent San, who is drenched in cold sweat, mostly because this is the closest and most civil encounter the two of you have had so far. You break the awkward silence by exhaling and straightening your posture, as you close your books and divert your attention to the black-haired male in front of you.

"Genuinely asking: What the fuck was that?" you deadpan and San looks at you with wide eyes.

"You mean almost getting hit by a truck? 'Cause I most certainly don't know what the fuck was that either" he lets out a nervous laugh.

"I'm talking about you storming out of the diner as if you saw a ghost"

"Oh, that. Um…" he scratches the back of his neck.

"Are you stalking me, Choi San?"

"What? No!"

"Then why did you run?"

"Because I got scared!" he blurts out and a hint of red appears on his ears.

"May I ask why you got scared?" you lean forward.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because every time we meet, you're on my fucking throat?" he retorts with a braver tone.

"Oh really? And whose fault is that? Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one who behaved like an asshole!"

"I told you again, I'm sorry about that night! Is it so hard for you to give me a second chance?!" San's tone coming off a bit more pleading than he intended, "Unless…"

"Unless what?" you glare at him.

“Unless you have a boyfriend.”

Oh boy.

You feel your chest tighten, but your pride is better than that and you carry on the conversation.

"What makes you think I have a boyfriend?"

"I didn't dwell on it much last time, but the way you reacted when I called you sweetheart and how your tongue almost slipped out his name is pretty much enough to explain the situation" San explains, his expression remaining the same.

“I can’t believe I’m actually discussing this with you” you scoff.

“And what exactly did you want us to discuss, Y/N?”

“For starters, a ‘thank you’ would be very much appreciated” you sneer.

“Thank you for saving me, Y/N” San replies dryly, “I’m still wondering about one thing though - if you say you don’t want to be associated with someone like me, why did you save me in the first place?” he adds.

That previous feeling returns in your chest stronger than before.

“I saved you because I have basic human conscience! I may dislike you, but I would never let you die. Besides, there are people who would actually miss you if you were to die” you state.

“Then why did you cry when you pulled me back?”

Well shit.

“I… It was out of frustration, obviously! It’s not like I see people running in the middle of the road, about to get hit by a damn truck!” you blurt out, hoping to convince San.

“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, Y/N, I just want to know the reason why you saved me. And I have a feeling you aren’t telling me the truth right now” he retorts. You clench your jaw and it doesn’t go unnoticed by San. A shaky breath escapes from your lips and you try to calm yourself down.

“If it’s something you cannot tell me, I respect that. It wasn’t my intention to make you uncomfortable” he admits with guilt.

“God, why are you like this?” you huff in annoyance and San tilts his head sideways.

“What do you mean ‘like this’?”

“Why are you so goddamn honest?”

“I don’t see the reason in lying anyways” San says, his words leaving a bitter aftertaste, as he remembers Wooyoung’s words during their fight.

“I guess it can’t be helped, huh” you sigh in defeat and take a deep breath before speaking up.

“A while ago you said that I probably have a boyfriend, correct?”

“Yes, I did”

“Well, that was partially true”

“Partially?”

“Yeah, because he’s still my boyfriend, in a way… Just...not here anymore” you rub your knuckles nervously. It takes San a few seconds to realize the true meaning behind your words and his gaze darkens in a sorrowful way. He makes a move to take your hand in his, in an attempt to comfort you, but as his fingertips brush over your soft skin, an array of images flash before his own eyes, a film of your own memories.

A tall boy, with pastel blue hair and a smile as bright as the Sun, pulling you by your hand, as you run across a beach, the two of you riding his bike on the streets of Itaewon, eating ice cream together and him giving you your birthday present, a beautiful black velvet dress.

The same dress you wore when you met each other that night.

San felt an unfamiliar, painful sting in his chest, as if Artemis had pierced his heart with one of her golden arrows.

He was jealous. And he hated it.

"What was his name?" he asks, choking back a sob and you look at him, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

"Jeong Yunho" the name of your late boyfriend leaving a bittersweet taste on your lips.

God, even his name has a sweet ring to it, San thinks and he retracts his hand out of shame.

"He was on his way to the campus, he woke up late and he was trying to get to class on time. He had taken his bike and he was pedalling through the road. He was always a very careful one, always checking the traffic lights and incoming vehicles. But that one time, that one fucking time - he didn't check. And he got hit by a truck" you sob while unfolding the story in front of San.

"He was already dead when they brought him to the hospital, he was barely recognizable" you add, tears freely running down your cheeks, your voice now trembling.

"Do you understand now why I saved you, San?" you ask him and he can't bring himself to form a suitable answer, the words dying in his throat. Instead, he lets his own tears speak as well.

"I'm sorry, I have to go" you blurt as you wipe your tears with the back of your hand and pick up your stuff in a haste, leaving the diner and San behind. He drops his head between his hands and he notices the book on the table, the same one you were reading before the incident. Shoot, she must have forgotten it when she picked up her stuff. His curiosity gets the better of him and he opens the book, his eyes shooting up in surprise at the contents of the book.

"Ancient Greek History and Myths?" he says and runs through the pages, carefully reading all your side notes and comments on each page.

"Damn, she's so fucking smart...Why is she so smart?!" he whines in defeat. Even if he had a clear advantage on the field as a demigod who lived his entire life next to the Olympians themselves, he couldn't help but admire your passion and knowledge on the subject.

"You really are testing me, aren't you?" San nods to the sky through the window of the diner, most likely picturing his father watching over him with a half amused, half worried smile on his face.

You return to your shared apartment in a pitiful state, eyes red and puffy from crying, your entire body aching from running all the way back home from the diner. You try to wipe them, smoothing over your hair and clothes and making yourself look presentable, not wanting to worry Giselle.

You click the door open and see your roommate laugh with a cute guy on the couch - Haknyeon, to be exact.

"Hey, stop it! You're too fun- Oh, hey Y/N, you're home!" she jumps from the couch and pulls you in a hug.

"Hey, Gi, hi Haknyeon" you show a tight-lipped smile. She pulls back and studies your face for a few seconds.

"Baby, is everything okay? You look exhausted."

"Don't worry, I'm okay, just beat up my brain too much" you laugh nervously, but you don't seem to have convinced Giselle.

"I think I should get going, it's getting kinda late" Haknyeon clears his throat and smiles towards you, noticing the mood change.

"Wanna walk you down the entrance?" Giselle pouts and the boy laughs, kissing her cheek.

"No need, honey. Goodnight ladies, I'll see you around" and he waves goodbye, closing the door behind him.

"And now it's you and me" Giselle turns around and looks at you sternly, "You better start talking before I make you"

"...Didn't hide it well, did I?" you admit with guilt and plop down on the couch in defeat.

"Nope, you're too honest to lie about your mood, Y/N" she smiles softly while rubbing your arm soothingly.

“I saw San today.”

"What?!" her eyes go wide with shock.

"He just happened to be at the same place I was studying! He was so shocked when he saw me and he literally ran away" you explain. Your mind goes back to the moment you pulled him away from the road and your hand starts trembling.

"Y/N? What is going on, why are you trembling? You're scaring me" she holds your hands in hers. Your pent up emotions break free and so do the sobs from your mouth.

"H-He almost got hit by a truck today and I saved him at the last minute. I-I don't know what got into me, I saw him running and it, it…"

"Yes?"

"It was Yunho all over again, Gi. It felt like a deja vu"

"Oh, sweetheart…" Giselle wraps her arms around you and you cling onto her for dear life. Your phone rings abruptly and you see an unfamiliar number calling you.

“I don’t want to pick it up”, you say.

“Why not? It could be Yeji calling, her phone could have died from low battery” your roommate replies and you end up picking up the call.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi, Y/N. It’s San”

“San? How did you find my number?” you ask and Giselle’s ears perk up.

“I-I got it from Changbin weeks ago”

“You- Nevermind. What is it?”

“Um, you forgot your book on the table when you were picking up your stuff" he says and you rummage through your bag, noticing that your book was indeed missing.

“Shit, you’re right” you admit, slapping your forehead.

“I can bring it to you if you want to”

“Uh, um… Can you come tomorrow at 11 AM at the university cafeteria and meet me there?” you ask, trying to push Giselle away, who has been glued to your head for the past minutes.

“Sure, I’ll be there” San replies.

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you” he says softly and your breath hitches.

“Good night, San” and you end the call, letting out the breath you were holding.

“What did he say? Where did he find your number? Are you meeting?! Tell me tell me tell meeeee” Giselle bombards you with questions.

“I won’t tell you anything until you calm down!” you chastise her.

“He has my history book, which I fucking forgot, he found my number through Changbin and he’s coming tomorrow at the campus to give me said book” you explain in one go and Giselle gasps.

“Oh my God, a date!”

“SHUT UP, GI!”, you start chasing her around the house, your voices drowning out any other sound.

Sounds, like Haknyeon’s footsteps skipping down the stairs.

“God, please forgive my actions, it’s all for a good cause, I swear” he mutters under his breath, “Make this work and I swear I won’t touch alcohol for the next three months” he prays as he exits the dorm.

Thursday, 11:00 AM.

You check your watch for the time as you wait for San to appear, anxiously bouncing your leg under the table. “Where are you, Choi San…”, you mutter, mindlessly checking your phone. As if on cue, the front door bell jingles, and San comes inside, holding your book in his arms. He spots you and walks over to your table.

“Hi”

“Hey there. Wanna sit down?” you nod to the seat across you and San slides into the chair.

“Um, here’s your book” he awkwardly pushes the book to your side.

“Thanks a lot, you’re a lifesaver” you smile.

“I could say the same thing for you” San jokes and you snort, his lips twitching in a smile, his attempt to break the ice ending up successful.

“Wow, I actually made you smile, huh” he comments and you look at him with an unreadable expression.

“Wow, you’re actually not a total asshole, huh” you cross your arms in front of your chest with a smirk.

“Touché” he fakes a gasp and you laugh.

“Does that mean you’ve forgiven me about that night?”

“Perhaps. I mean, look, I’ve already saved your life and we’re actually talking without being at each other’s throats” you state and San scoffs lightly, “For real though, if someone saw us, they would either boo us or clown us until we die.”

“Not that you can actually die…” you whisper under your breath.

“Hm? Did you say something?” San asks you.

“Oh, I said that Giselle will definitely clown me until I die” you chuckle nervously.

“Oh, you mean your roommate?”

“Yeah, her lovingly annoying ass” you roll your eyes.

“Better not say that in front of Hak, though” San runs his hand through his silky black hair.

“If you’re trying to say that Haknyeon likes Giselle, there’s no need, because he-”

“He was at your dorm last night?” he completes your sentence.

“Yeah. Wait, how do you know that?” you raise your eyebrow in question.

“Uh, we um.... talked before he left his house” he lies awkwardly.

“Oh okay, that makes sense”

You hear a tapping noise close to your head and see Jisung outside of the window, signalling you to come out.

"Shoot!" you exclaim, as if you just remembered something very important. San looks at your friend, his gut slightly churning.

"Sorry, San, I gotta go" you say apologetically.

"No, no! It's okay, don't apologize!" he says with a forced smile.

"Thanks, San" you smile back and run towards the door.

"Hey, Y/N!" he calls to you one last time,

"What is it?"

"9:30 PM, Dejà Vu bar, on Saturday!" he says and you look at him with a grin.

"See you then!" you shout back.

You exit the cafeteria and greet Jisung with a hug and set off together.

“Hey, what was that?” he asks you and points towards the table you were sitting with San.

“What are you talking about?” you ask him innocently.

“Oh come on, Y/N, don’t play dumb with me. I saw you talking with him!” Jisung scoffs, his hands resting on his waist.

“I was just talking with him, Ji, nothing dangerous….maybe arranging a meet-up with him…” you trail off, lowering your voice and trying to hide your beaming smile.

To your dismay, Jisung heard your entire sentence.

“Excuse me? What did you say? Come again?” he squints his eyes at you, raising his eyebrow simultaneously.

“Uhh, I said I was just nothing-”

“Not that part, Y/N” he deadpans and you feel cold sweat run down your neck.

“Okay, fine, I have a date with San on Saturday night!” you blurt out and Jisung scrunches his face in disgust.

“You..have a date with San…on Saturday night” he repeats.

“Yep” you confirm, popping the last letter.

“With the same guy who literally wanted to fuck you at first sight”

“He apologised numerous times!”

“He’s still an asshole, Y/N!”

“I thought so too at first, but he might not be as bad as I thought” you admit, reminiscing about your past encounters with San.

“I…I just hope you know what you’re doing, Y/N. I don’t want you to get hurt”

Jisung slightly puffs his cheeks, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“Thank you, Jisung. I really appreciate you caring about me” you smile softly at him and pull him in a hug.

“Of course I do, you dumbass. That’s what friends do” he mumbles back, giggling in his embrace.

“Come on, we have a class to attend”

“...Can we not?” Jisung grins in anticipation.

“Jisung” you deadpan.

“Ugh, fine, you buzzkill” he groans in response, the both of you sprinting towards the class, hoping you wouldn’t be late.

Saturday, 9:00 PM.

You alternate between your closet and the bathroom every two minutes, bringing your hair stylers and makeup supplies, trying to match the hairstyle you want with the makeup. It has been quite a while since the last time you went on a date and you can already feel the panic reach the logical hemisphere of your brain.

“Can you please calm down? It’s just a date!” Yeji crosses her arms in slight annoyance.

“It’s not just a date, Yeji. It’s my first date in ages!” you yell back from the bathroom, trying to blend your eyeshadow as evenly as you can.

“She’s right, Yeji. Please show some sympathy” she seemingly coos and you mentally thank her for taking your side.

“After all, Y/N just wants to make a good impression on her crush!” she snickers like a demon.

“You’re lucky I want to look good, or else I would have stabbed you in the eye with this!” you peek your head from the bathroom door, holding the eyeshadow brush in a threatening manner.

“You’re awfully jittery tonight though, you really need to calm down” Giselle comments in a serious tone, “I don’t think San will feel comfortable if you’re tense”.

“...You’re right, Gi, but I just can’t help it!” you huff nervously, coming out of the bathroom, your makeup now blended to perfection.

“How do I look?” you ask, waiting for a positive answer.

“You look absolutely stunning, Y/N. Lowkey jealous I’m not going on a date without you” Yeji pouts.

“Aww, she’s jealous~” you sing-song and she swats your arm playfully.

“Okay, but, do I make curls or straighten my hair? Which is best?” you ask again.

“Some light curls would be nice. Here, I’ll help you with them” Yeji volunteers, taking the hair styler in her hands, twirling her finger around and you turn her back to her, throwing your hair back.

“Thank you.”

“For what, honey?”

“Everything, Yeji. Helping me, tolerating me” you admit, the warmth of the newly curled hair strands.

“Stop blabbering you idiot, we’re friends, of course we’d help you!” she playfully chastises you and you feel a sudden warmth engulfing your heart, a small smile spreading on your red tinted lips.

“Once again, Yeji is right. We’d help you at any time, Y/N. I even gave you my dress for tonight!” Giselle points out at the burgundy sequined dress, which fits you like a glove, hugging all of your curves perfectly.

“Speaking of which, are you sure it’s a good idea to wear this?” you mumble and she frowns.

“Well duh? Girl, you look bomb! Besides, he’s gonna love it on ya” she winks and you roll your eyes. You check your watch and gasp once you see that you can’t stall any longer, otherwise you risk standing up San - not the ideal head start.

“Fuck, I gotta go, I’ll be late!” you pick up your stuff in a haste, bidding your friends farewell in a rush, closing the door behind you.

“I really hope they’ll get together in the future” Giselle comments.

“Ditto” Yeji agrees with a nod.

San is adding the finishing touches on his outfit, draping the black oversized blazer on his shoulders, smoothing over a few hair strands that seem a little bit out of place. Picking up his keys and his wallet, he walks out of his apartment, his feet light as a feather, feeling giddy like a school boy.

It feels like a fever dream, going out with you on an actual date - But it’s real and he couldn’t be happier. He’s walking towards his destination with a newfound excitement. He can’t help but imagine how pretty you would look - not that you aren’t naturally pretty, obviously.

His carefree moments stop abruptly when he hears a bunch of whistles directed at him by a suspicious looking group of men, steadily walking towards him.

“Look at this guy, walking all high and mighty” one of the men - most likely the leader of the gang - “Where are you off to, pretty boy?”

“None of your business” San spits back and carries on, but two of the guys block his way and he falls on them.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you, kid” the man towers over San and he punches him in the guts from behind, stumbling forward as the other two men land harsh punches on his face and chest, knocking him down on the concrete.

San manages to land a kick on the leader’s shins and make him lose his balance, yet it’s futile, because one of his lackeys pulls out a switchblade, stabbing him in the abdomen twice, without mercy in a heated moment, streams of blood flowing from his newfound wounds. San is screaming in pain, clutching his stomach to stop the blood flow, but to no avail.

“Shit, let’s get the fuck out of here!” the men yell and make a run for their money, leaving the young demigod laying on the forming pool of his own blood.

“F-Fuck…” San groans in pain, barely able to move. He can’t even muster the strength to yell for help, let alone move to a nearby shop to ask for help.

Suddenly, his phone rings and he struggles to pull it out of his pocket, his fingers leaving blood stains on the screen as he manages to read Wooyoung’s contact name and number and accept the incoming call.

“W-Woo-”

“Hey San - What’s wrong? Are you okay?” the man on the other end of the line worriedly asks.

“I g-got stabbed…On the way to D-Deja Vu bar, fuck” San barely replies

“Stay fucking put, San, don’t move!” Wooyoung screams on the other end of the line, “Where are you exactly?!”

“The alleyway…next to the apartment block I live in”

“Fuck…Try to call an ambulance until I get there, just stay the fuck alive, Choi!” he hangs up and San cries out in pain, dragging his fingertips on the screen to call an ambulance.

“Gods, please don’t give up on me yet.”

Saturday, 10:15 pm.

You’ve officially been stood up by San.

You’re angry as fuck, cold as fuck and feel stupid as fuck because you actually believed he would show up and you would have an actual date with him.

"I'm such a fucking idiot" you huff in annoyance, as you close your phone, your tenth call to San remaining unanswered, along with a bunch of your messages. You turn on your heel to walk towards the dorms when your phone rings again and you slide your finger across the screen to accept the call without checking who it is, purely out of frustration.

"Choi San, I swear to fucking God-"

"Y/N? Is that you?"

You suddenly realize that it isn't San calling - It's Wooyoung.

"Wooyoung? What- What's up?"

"Fuck, how do I say this…"

"With your own words, for starters" you retort with an annoyed tone, your arms crossed in front of your chest.

"Shit, now's not the time for jokes, Y/N - I'm with San-"

"Oh really? You better tell him to fuck off-"

"He got stabbed."

Your blood runs cold when you hear Wooyoung say those exact words, eyes widening in fear.

"What…did you say?"

"He was on his way to the bar to meet up with you…And he got attacked by some strangers and they stabbed him, probably tried to rob him and he resisted….Fuck, Y/N, he was calling your fucking name when the ambulance took him" the man nearly sobs from the other end of the line.

"Where…Where are you now?" you thread your hand in your hair, pulling at the roots out of frustration and anxiety, tears starting to form on your eyes.

"The National University Hospital."

"Stay where you are, Wooyoung, I'm coming over." you end the call and search through for a taxi number, calling it and hoping they will get here fast - But nobody picks up.

"Fuck!" you yell and slam your phone in your bag, feeling utterly helpless.

"I'll just fucking run there, damnit" you curse and take off your heels, clutching them in your hand as you start running like a crazy woman on the street, the passersby people looking at you in shock. But you don't give a shit about it.

You lost someone once - but you won't lose anyone else, ever again.

#hamartia collab #hamartia #san angst #san fluff #san suggestive #ateez san #choi san #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez suggestive #ateez fanfics #ateez #tw alcohol #tw blood #tw injuries #tw knife #tw death #tw trauma

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