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#sleep deprived Bruce Wayne
theaceofarrows · 4 months
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Red Hood: [punches Riddler goon]
Red Hood: Call me boughs of holly, the way I be decking peoples halls
Batman: Hood-
Nightwing: Call me Christmas cookie, the way I be looking like a snack
Batman: Nightwing-
Nightwing: [kicks another goon before striking a pose]
Batman: I thought asked you both not to say that on patrol
Red Hood: You did
Nightwing: But Spoiler had a very strong argument on why we should say it
Batman: Which was?
Red Hood: She said "but it would really annoy Batman If you DID say it"
Nightwing: So obviously, we had too
Spoiler: [whose recording everything] Smile for the camera boys! This is about to become the most viewed piece of footage at the Watchtower!
Batman: [under his breath] this is why I tell everyone I work alone
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Bruce: There’s my little babies!! Do you guys want some cookies?? I love you all so so much!!
Bruce’s children, covered in blood and all holding multiple weapons that are also covered in blood: Yeah!
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flamingpudding · 5 months
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Fictober23 Prompt: 26 - "Honestly, why would I care?"
Fandom: DPxDC
Rating: G
Warnings: -
A/N: A quick short one, inspired by a TikTok video I saw. Also as always... I am impatient in posting it.
"You're not my dad, yet."
"Get out of the spaceship. I am your dad, Phantom."
"You're not my dad."
"I am your Dad. The papers are already submitted! Get out of the spaceship."
"I am in a spaceship and you're not."
"I will literally drag you out of the damned space ship."
"No! I'm literally in a spaceship, you're not. You are not my dad."
"Literally get out of the spaceship. It's rude to others!"
"Tell me it's rude, I don't give a fuck!"
The bat kids exchanged amused glances. Red Robin and Spoiler had their phones out filming the entire situation. Red Hood was already downed, laughing to the point that his gut started hurting. Nightwing tried to be polite and not laugh but his shoulders were shaking. It was only a matter of time before he would break two. Black Bat was also shaking in silent laughter while Signal watched on, torn between horror, amusement and worry. Robin had his arms crossed watching stoically but for some reasons was sporting a proud smirk.
"Shouldn't you kids try to help Batman?" Superman next to them carefully asked his eyes going back and forth between Batman's kids and the ongoing situation before them.
"And ruin Phantom's mood? Do you have any idea how hard it was to even make him leave the lab? This is the first time in days that I am seeing him smile. Do not ruin his good mood." Robin countered, giving the hero a quick glare before eyes turning back to his father and phantom still arguing.
"Besides, this is the first time we get to see B arguing with a little kid like this. None of us managed to drive him to that point yet." Nightwing added grinning.
"How long has it been since B had submitted the adoption papers?" Red Robin asked, looking at them over his shoulder, his handy camera focused on the phantom who now had started to stick his tongue out and blow raspberries at Batman as an argument point.
"Two days." Signal answered easily, finally deciding to be just amused with the situation.
"Phantom! Get out now!"
"Over my already dead body!"
"And how long since B had actually slept?" Spoiler questioned next in between giggles.
"He's been working on Phantom's case without sleep for four days now." Nightwing grinned. "I will add Phantom claiming a spaceship to the methods on how to get B of the Batcomputer."
"Will you at least do something? You're the one that usually mainly uses it!" Superman turned towards Martian Manhunter only for the other hero to shrug.
"Honestly, why would I care? As Robin said, Phantom appears to enjoy his time quite a lot. And considering what he had gone through, who would I be to ruin it for such a young hero?"
"Phantom!"
"NO!"
"We gotta send this to Agent A later!" Jason gasped between his laughter. Nightwing's phone pinged with a message from Oracle and the eldest Bat kid showed it to the others with a bright grin.
"Already done. O is giving him a live feat of this on the Batcomputer."
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firerose18991 · 11 months
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College is kicking my ass, have a batfam:
Jason:  (on the stairs) And if I'm lying then may the devil himself strike me down.
*immediately trips and falls down screaming*
Bruce: *un bothered, reading a book* Stop summoning things the mansion is haunted enough.
Duke:  Haunted? *eye roll*
Bruce:  Half my family is buried in the backyard. Of course this place is haunted.
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bruciemilf · 11 months
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I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it
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shroudthecursedone · 2 months
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skylersprompts · 5 months
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DC x DP Prompt *14*
It all started shortly after Danny moved to Gotham for college. At first he was rather confused and annoyed that random people and paparazzi called him: Richard, Tim, Dick, Jason, Timothy, Wayne, Drake, Damian, Todd or Grayson. Some he got called more often than others, but after some time he found out what was going on.
Somehow he got mistaken as one of the Wayne-Brood constantly. Like, okay he shares some features with them, but how is he getting mistaken for all of them???
Some people even started to post memes about it, especially after the fateful Day he meet Brucie Wayne. Because this absolute himboo called him ALL of his kids names, before sighing and just leaving in defeat. The press had a field day with this one.
And it wouldn't be to bad, if the paparazzi would just stop following him, because for the hundreds time he is not a Wayne!
From time to time he also encounters one of the Wayne Brothers and they also call him by one of their brothers names!
But after today he was sure it couldn't get worse. He met Tim Drake for the first time today.
"Hey Tim, can you tell-", with a frustrated yell Danny left the small coffee shop, before Drake finished his sentence.
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ghost-bxrd · 3 months
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Prompt:
Jason, after coming back to Gotham and taking over the criminal underworld— is burnt out.
He’s exhausted, he can’t sleep, he’s pretty sure he broke some ribs somewhere along the two month mark of being the Red Hood and he just wants to go home.
So he does, entering the Cave near deliriously while Batman and Robin are out on patrol, shattering the stupid memorial he comes across while he’s at it, and— huh, well, that actually looks like a pretty comfy spot to take a nap. He’s just gonna— one minute. He just needs one… minute…..
When Bruce and Tim return to the Cave it’s to a dead boy passed out in the shattered remains of the memorial case, wrapped up in the tattered cape Bruce pulled from the rubble in Ethiopia.
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undertheredhood · 6 months
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i don't get why people headcanon tim drake as the one in the batfam who's the sleep-deprived coffee addict when that description can apply to almost everyone in the bat/wayne family
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coloredsnowo · 2 years
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hi new followers. some more brucie wayne civilian au content.
Brucie: Hi guys this is Duke he’s going to be staying with us for some time!
Dick (pretending like theyve never met): Hi Duke, I’m dick
Tim (much worse at it): Hi guy I’ve never met before!
Duke: Hi..
_____
In their cave??? hideout??? would it still be the batcave or???
Steph: With how many vigilantes he’s adopted its very surprising he still doesn’t realize what’s been happening.
Jason: He is a stupid man I guess
Tim: I wouldn’t say stupid… just…
Dick: He just loves and trusts us!
(small moment of silence)
Steph: Its more sad when you say it like that :(
Cass: Hey Bruce Im gonna go to a party
Steph: And I’m going with her!!!
Brucie: Okay girls have fun on your date!!
Cass and Steph: ….
*later when they all meet up*
Tim: So you’re telling me he believed you guys were going out on a date before believing you two would ever set foot in a party??
Dick: We’ve got to give the man some credit, some things are just unbelievable
Jason: Just like when Dick grew out a mullet and Bruce didn’t force him to cut it off
Dick: HEY-
Damian *shoving ipad in Jason’s face*: stop jabbering like children we have a mission to do
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frownyalfred · 1 month
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Taking in count that Bruce is a biter...
Do you think when he is like 3.5 days sleep deprived and someone gets close to his grilled cheese he just bites the air near the hand like canines do?
I do think by day 3 ish he radiates a certain kind of energy where you’re never 100% certain what his next move is. Biting? Screaming? Deep, catatonic silence? Rip all his clothes off and sit naked in front of his computer doing cases? Decide he wants to try out a new type of stitch on the wound he popped open doing impromptu tai chi on day 2?
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frostbittenbucky · 2 years
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That time all of the entire batfamily was sleep deprived
Dick: “Tim? Tim! Can you read this? I feel like I’m slipping”
Tim: [slowly walks over]
Dick: “so, what I understand is that the whole operation is settled in New Jersey”
Tim: [reading it over and over] “Dick, there’s nothing about New Jersey in here. Get it together, man”
Jason: “Dick, go lay down man”
Dick: “m’fine”
Tim: [turns around] “I forgot where I put my sandwich”
Dick: “do you want me to call it?”
Tim: [stares at Dick]
Jason: “yes. Please, call Tim’s sandwich”
Dick: [pulls out phone]
Damian: “Grayson, think about it”
Dick: [calls Tim’s phone]
Tim: “hello, this is not Tim’s sandwich”
Bruce: [leans back in his chair] “Dick, leave a voice mail”
Stephanie: “this… this would be so funny if I could hold my eyes open”
Dick: “I’m waiting for the beep”
Tim: [looks at Bruce]
Dick: [realizes] “wait, god- fuck you guys”
Bruce: “I’m honestly shocked you got that far”
Cass: [enters with Tim’s sandwich, eating it]
Tim: [groans]
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I am in desperate need of a Spiderman/Batman crossover fic (Based on Dark matter by mysterycyclone) but instead of Tim and Duke being his main friends or dick and Jaso finding him on the Secidn chapter, I need one where he goes to gotham academy with damian, maybe Jon and maps or who knows, I mean Damian is 14-15 in comics rn? (depending) and Peter could be 15-16, while Duke is 2 or 3 years older than them both, so maybe they're in gotham prep and stuff.
Like:
Damian, got told to interact with his peers, seeing Peter as the most competent inteligent-wise: Your academic achievements are not as dumb as the rest of our peers.
Peter slightly freaked out but curious: Thanks I guess?
Damian: *nods* I'm glad to FIDN someoene smart here.
After a while of being friends and relaxing more, this trio of idiots
Peter: Working on this is goign to make me go insane- *bangs head against notebook, Witha concussion, and sleep deprived*
Duke: Man need any help? Maybe if you got some rest by the manor-
Damian: You woudlnt have such a headache if you Didn't bang your head agaidnt the wall parker. But go on, it's a least slightly amusing.
Peter:*slightly joking* Hey man fuck you-
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flamingpudding · 6 months
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Fictober23 Prompt: 4 - "Do you even know what this means?"
Fandom: DPxDC
Rating: G
Warnings: -
Tim stared at his family with pure exhaustion before letting out a sigh while covering his face with his hands because of the worried looks they were sending him after his long rant.
It had all started with a stupid school project. It was just supposed to be a stupidly simple school project. Did he think of the whole thing as the greatest nonsense project his school has ever come up with? Yes. Did he still do it? Yes. He needed the extra credits, because of some stupid meetings he had missed other projects which was the entire reason he took part in this one.
Maybe he should have tried buying his grade out of it like all the other snobbish rich kids but then he would feel guilty and the moment Alfred found out, he would have to life with the disappointed™ look. Something he really didn't want to deal with. So instead he took part in this stupid ancestry project his school had organized.
But when he had allowed the school to send in his DNA he certainly did not expect the result he got back. Because when he opened the email, he noted that it was addressed to someone named Danny Fenton not Tim Drake, he didn't even read the rest really. That should have been his first warning.
His second warning was when he had hacked into the that DNA testing facility to actually get his results back and then found a note on his data file about a near 100% DNA match to one Danny Fenton which caused them to assumed that Tim was Danny and just had sent in his DNA a second time after, he peaked through his finger onto the screen, 5 years. That should have been his second warning.
But no, Tim had actively ignored all the warnings and decided to dig into who this Danny Fenton was. Because there were so many possibilities of how they could match but only so little to explain the time difference between them sending in the DNA samples. For dear good Tim hoped to all things that there wasn't someone else to have attempted to clone him before Ra, no worse even, he hoped HE wasn't the clone in this situation.
Really he didn't want to add existential crisis to all the problems and cases he already had to deal with.
So what does one do best when they learn there was someone with nearly the same DNA you have? He looked that someone up. So that was what Tim did next. He had spent nights looking up anything he could find, summarizing all the information he found, branching off when he found other concerning stuff and then stewed in some frustration of the incompetence of some people when discovering other facts.
In the end Tim compiled all the data he had found into a 30 slides long power point. That he had presented to his family and was awaiting their reaction. Bruce had grunted earlier and the demon brat had huffed out something in between slight 25 and 26 earlier. Jason had muttered something right at the beginning and Dick had stayed quiet the entire time, so did Cass. Steph hadn't said a thing either and Duke looked just puzzled.
"Do you even know what that means?" Demon brat finally broke the silence, causing Tim's eye to twitch before aggressively pointing to his last slide still on the presenter.
"Yes, I do know what this means. I have listed all possibilities right here if you haven't noticed. And i explained possibility three, four and six on slide-"
"Replacement. I don't think that's what the brat means." Jason cut in and Tim glared at him.
"Timmy, when was the last time you slept?" Dick carefully asked and Tim directed his glare at him.
"I believe Master Timothy hasn't slept for about 72 hours now." Alfred added in with that disapproving stare of him and time looked away stubbornly. How was the amount of sleep he got relevant right now? There was a possibility of him being a clone or someone having cloned maybe even years before he started to follow B around as a kid with a camera.
Bruce let out a sigh and Steph appeared to try to hide a chuckle leaning on Cass shoulder. "He must be lacking sleep if he doesn't see the most obvious possibility considering the time line he presented on slide 18."
"Oh so, I am not the only one thinking he is missing another obvious possibility?" Duke asked and once more Tims eye twitched. Getting fed up with his family, Tim huffed and crossed his arms, glaring at them all.
"And what is it that I am obviously missing?"
"The screenshot of the mail you put in slide 3 stated that it's not a 100% match but 89%. In addition it stated in the last line a suspected possibility of a familiar relation. I am disappointed, Drake. That you would miss something this obvious."
"What?" Tim whirled around going to the slide to reread the mail.
"Considering that I am pretty sure, we don't have any sort of cloning case here Tim." Dick started his voice now slightly laced with Humor and Tim narrowed his eyes at his older brother over his shoulder. "You just discovered that you had a twin, that we probably still go to rescue."
Tim's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He did not know what to say and before he could even catch up with what his brothers had said Alfred was already behind him pushing him towards the elevator.
"It is time for you to get some sleep Master Timothy. I am sure Master Bruce and the others will be perfectly able to handle the rest of the situation with the information you compiled. You can join them after you have rested."
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adhdslugcrimes · 1 month
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Danny: YOU DATED CLOCKWORK!?
Tim, rolling in another corkboard: we shouldn't be keeping the corkboard business afloat Bruce, this is are 88 board!
Bruce: I'm sorry I dated a lot of people before you guys came along!
Jason: want to add anything to this dickface?
Dick: he dated Zeus, which who hasn't, I'm numb to this since 65 corkboard ago.
Tim: how can you forget the high being people!?
Bruce: I don't know!?
Danny: no wonder CW was happy to help, you heartless monster.
Damian: Richard, please sign this for me I want a more respectful father.
Stephanie: how did you get adoption papers so quick?
Damian: I threatened to slit the man's throat and he wrote me whatever I wanted.
Dick: Dami, we don't tell people we threatened other people, and there you go son.
Damian: finally, I have honor again.
Danny: can Dick adopt me too?
Damian: I will stab you, Fenton.
Jason: as long as we don't have another bio kid of his I think this is tame.
Bruce: well…
Jason: don't… just… don't, let me live a lie.
Danny: that does make a lot of sense on CW help with binding… just thought he was old and wise.
Jazz, eating popcorn: I love this family, god this is better than what's on television.
Stephanie: trust me, if I had my way Keeping up with the Wayne's be making big bucks.
Dick: if we get to 146 corkboards, we'll release it.
Bruce: well I also dated Vlad that one time…
Danny: NOPE! no more! I'm out of here. *Leaves the cave*
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mo-mode · 11 months
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Consider: I smush the batfamily together with Tony and Peter, but instead of Tony and Bruce hating each other or being long lost relatives or whatever, their adoption instincts kick in.
Tony wants to adopt a 28yo Bruce. (Oh my god another orphaned science genius.) Bruce wants to adopt a 15yo Peter. (Oh my god another feral acrobat child.) Peter just vibes with Dick for a bit in the background, blow something up, etc. Pepper and Alfred have tea.
I just like the visual of Tony seeing a big brooding Batman (even MORE points if it’s Battinson) and going “baby, he is my baby now” and Bruce being slightly (very) offended
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