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hailsatanacab · 1 year

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"give me a fandom and a prompt and i'll give you at least five sentences"

Ok then.

Jazz, Danny and Bruce are in the same age range, and Bruce has been harboring a massive crush on 7'foot tall Jazz since just after he began his training journey.

His kids know about and are mercyless. Danny thinks he's a bit of a fruit loop and 100% knows Bruce has a crush on his sister.

Into the future his coworkers find out that batman has been quietly pining after the Ghost Kings sister for years.

Chaos.

love that this reads as a challenge. Ok then. Write it. i will, let's goooo!

(sorry i kinda took it so that Jazz, Danny, and Bruce were all old friends but in that horrible adult way where you can only hang out with each other once in a blue moon when your work schedules miraculously align)

——

"Respectfully, Batman, you can take your "it's not necessary" and you can shove it up your arse. There's a demon the size of a skyscraper heading towards Metropolis and we need reinforcements."

"Superman can—"

"Superman can't. You do remember the part of the report I made telling you this, right? Or did your stubborn little bat brain just shut down when I mentioned magic?"

"Actually," Nightwing interrupts from the side, a shit-eating grin on his face, "I think his brain shut down when you mentioned the Ghost King."

"Nightwing." Batman growls in warning, his jaw clenching so hard Constantine can swear he hears the bones creaking.

Nightwing just snickers, and turns away to press a finger to his ear, no doubt letting the rest of the bat brood in on what's happening here... Whatever that is. All Constantine knows is that Batman is standing between him and fixing this mess for no God-forsaken reason.

Luckily, some of the more reasonable members of the League step in to try and talk some sense into Batman. It gives him some time to calm down.

"Batman. We need him. I know you dislike working with unknowns, but he's our best shot."

It actually looks like Wonder Woman might be getting through to him, Batman even opens his mouth to actually explain some things—a huge step forward for this incredibly emotionally constipated man.

Instead, Nightwing snorts and beats him to it. "Unknowns? More like—"

"Nightwing, please."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, get your head out of your arse and let me do this. The Ghost King is our only hope. I'm summoning him, no matter what you say."

For a long second, Constantine thinks that he'll refuse and he might have to resort to more violent methods of persuasion—which, honestly, Constantine has fantasised about many times during the more boring JL meetings—but eventually, Batman relents and steps out of the way.

"Fine. Nightwing, go check in with Red Robin."

Nightwing has the kind of devious smile that makes John glad he doesn't have kids.

"Oh, don't worry about it, B. Red Robin's coming here. So's Red Hood, I don't need to go anywhere."

"Nightwing—"

"Sh, it's starting." So saying, Nightwing then very obviously ignores Batman's protests with a poker face that even Constantine envies. What he wouldn't give to be able to shut the bat out like that.

The summoning goes quickly, thankfully. The lights flicker, the temperature drops, and the chalk circle erupts in green flames. Standard summoning practices, sure. Even the impromptu appearance of Red Hood and Red Robin—"Did we miss him?", "No, not yet! I got 2:37, what about you guys?"—doesn't throw him off.

It does pique his interest, though. Just what the hell is going on with them? Constantine's weighing up the pros and cons of asking them once all of this is over when the ground splits open and the clawed hand of the Ghost King begins to pull himself out of the ground.

John's a seasoned summoner. It's practically his job, he's done it countless times.

The icey fear that grips his heart, that freezes his breath in his chest, is new.

Pure, unadulterated power floods the area and he feels small, so, so small, like a child playing with things he doesn't understand. When he finally tears his eyes away from the portal, he catches a glimpse of the other magic users in the room, the same horror he feels clear in their faces. Even Captain Marvel stares slackjawed.

The pressure rises, death magic screaming in his ears, almost forcing him to his knees, and suddenly he's not so sure this is a good idea.

Too late to back out now, though.

Sickly green light pours from the crack in the ground, growing brighter and brighter as the giant figure rises, until Constantine has to close his eyes and look away. The last thing he sees are eyes, teeth, horns, a crown so bright that it burns an afterimage into his retinas.

When the light dies down and he opens his eyes again, a humanoid man floats in the centre of the circle. The ground is whole, nothing is burning, the man doesn't even have a crown. Instead, other than the wispy white hair, slightly green skin, and the—you know—floating, the Ghost King appears pretty normal. Huh.

Constantine blinks, rubbing his bleary eyes, and checks around to make sure everyone's okay. Most of the League are doing the same as him, taking fortifying breaths and trying to appear as if they've not just been completely blinded.

Most of them, that is, aside from the Gotham vigilantes.

Batman himself stands upright, arms crossed, looking completely unbothered by the whole thing and John's got to admit, he wishes he could do that, too. That was... a hell of a show.

The others, however, are waving frantically with huge smiles on their faces.

What?

There's a brief, taut silence, as everyone else tries to catch their breath.

As much as he would rather take a bit of a breather, John should probably start making introductions. Unfortunately, he only gets as far as opening his mouth before the Ghost King beats him to it.

"Oh, Ancients, hey guys! It's been forever, how are you? Look at you all, so grown up, wow—Nightwing, buddy, do a flip!"

It doesn't take much to get Nightwing going, and he certainly doesn't leave it at one flip. The whole of the Justice League and Justice League Dark watch with open mouths as Nightwing performs for the Ghost King.

What, and John can't stress this enough, the fuck?

As soon as Nightwing rights himself, Red Hood swats him across the back of the head and calls him a show off.

The Ghost King just laughs as he claps. "There's my little monkey, look at you go! And I'm loving that leather jacket, Hood, is that new? Looks good on you, really your colour. Brings out the red in your helmet."

"Thanks, Uncle D. At least someone around here appreciates fashion."

"Are you kidding me, you know I breathe fashion, need I remind—"

"Need I remind you of the Discowing incident?"

"That was era-appropriate and you know it! Uncle D, tell him it was era-appropriate!"

"It was era-appropriate, but so are crocs and it doesn't make them fashionable." The Ghost King—and holy shit, is this actually the Ghost King? Or did Constantine just accidentally summon a deceased family member, what the fuck is happening here?—turns to look at Red Robin with a smile, resolutely ignorning the argument he created. "How you doing, Double R? You get that tablet Tucker made for you?"

"Yes, thank you! It's so cool, how did he—"

"How's Tucker doing?" Batman interrupts, his hands now hidden underneath his cape.

As soon as the question leaves his lips, everyone groans. Red Robin makes a show of lifting up his wrist and staring at it intently.

"Incredible," Red Hood mutters with a shake of his head.

Even the Ghost King seems put out, rolling his eyes and answering in a flat tone as if he knows Batman isn't interested in what he has to say.

Not for the first time, Constantine feels like he's missing something.

"Tucker's doing very well, thank you for asking."

What follows is the most awkward silence Constantine has ever had the pleasure to be a part of.

All three of the Gotham vigilantes, including the Ghost King, are staring at Batman, waiting for something. Batman's cloak shifts as if he's moving his hands, fidgeting. If Constantine didn't know any better, he'd say he was nervous.

"Good. That's good, I'm glad to hear it."

Instead of saying anything else, the Ghost King just raises his eyebrows and continues to stare at Batman. Has he offended him in some way? Are they all going to die because of this?

After what seems like an agonising few minutes but could only really be a few seconds, Batman's shoulders dip and he takes a breath. "And Jazz?"

They all erupt into shouts, the Ghost King being the loudest. The only thing John can make out is when the Ghost King throws his hand in the air to point at Red Robin with a shout of "Time!"

"1:30.91, we got 1:30.91 on the clock, who's closest?"

"Did you even try to hold it in at all, old man? I'm so disappointed in you. People think you're cool. People think you're suave, I don't understand how they could be so wrong."

"Thank you for that, Hood."

"No, thank you, I won. Again. Because you're so predictable. Actually, I had one minute seventeen, so you held out longer than I thought you would."

Batman pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs loudly.

Constantine feels like doing the same thing.

Whatever. He's going to have to interrupt... whatever this is. There's still a rampaging demon heading their way that they've got to bargain for. He can untangle Batman's personal connection to the Ghost King later. Or he could leave it alone and forget everything about it.

Yeah, he'll do that one.

But before he can actually open his mouth to say anything, the Ghost King, again, beats him to it.

"So, B-Man, did you summon me here for a particular reason, or was it really just so you could ask about Jazz?"

There's a beat of silence before Batman mutters, "I asked about Tucker, too. We've not seen each other in so long, it's only polite."

"And I'm sure you meant it, you're the paragon of manners." The Ghost King nods slow and wide-eyed as if he doesn't believe him at all.

At this point, even Constantine doesn't believe him.

"It has been forever, though." The Ghost King muses, bringing his hand to his chin and folding his legs underneath him. "We should all get together sometime! If you get Alfie to make some of his cookies again, I'll get Clockwork to lend us a pocket dimension where we can spend as much time as we want, deal?"

"It's a deal."

No hesitation at all, incredible.

Hold on. Wait. John has to fight the urge to pinch himself, because this has to be a dream, right? Is Batman actually smiling? He didn't even know he could do that.

An itch niggles at the back of John's mind. He's starting to get an inkling of what's going on here and it's... weird, to say the least.

"Oooh," Nightwing singsongs, like a child in a playground tickled by the very idea of romance.

But then, who's he to judge? John's no stranger to strange bedfellows, that's for sure. Whoever this Jazz is, she must be something incredible—she'd have to be, if Batman can't even go two minutes without asking about her.

"Batman and Jasmine sitting in a tree," Nightwing continues, with both Red Hood and Red Robin joining in for the rest. "K—I—S—S—I—"

"Stop," Batman growls, completely drowned out by the Ghost King's laughter, but...

But.

It all suddenly clicks for John.

The Ghost King Phantom.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Jasmine Phantom.

Jazz.

"Holy shit, mate," John breathes, unable to stop himself as everyone looks his way. "You have the hots for the Princess of the Infinite Realms?"

The Justice League meeting room has never descended into chaos quicker.

#dpxdc #danny phantom crossover #danny phantom x batman #hoooolllyyy mackeral #it was hubris thinking i could keep anything to five sentences really wasn't it?#fucking played myself with that didn't i???#anyway here's even more words on this i hope you enjoy!!#some things that didn't make it in:#duke doesn't come to see danny because he's too bright when he's in his ghost form and it gives him a migraine - he still plays the game #though and is second closest!#damian is there he's just biding his time. it's become a tradition for damian to try and stab danny whenever he turns up #he hasn't managed it yet but danny keeps encouraging him to try again! you'll get me next time champ!#it infuriates damian to no end - no he's not doing it because he's having fun he legitimately wants to kill him shut up!#danny loves cass so much and when they do all get together they always sit together - it often ends up with cass curling up around danny #ellie turns up every now and then! she's like an honourary wayne at this point #she's always down for any pranks and shenanigans #thank you for the prompt!! it was very fun. as you can see i got rather carried away haha #thank you i hope you enjoyed it!!!#my writing #cab writes

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kicktwine · 7 months

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little weirdo beast mode

#ch’ari (oc)#ffxiv #my art #zenos yae galvus #im having illustration ideas again. You know like some kind of artist?#I’m not entirely happy w it but I’m not able 2 work on it anymore… it looks better small I think #WOOH ok looking like sitting down and taking rest days and taking extra special care of my hand Works tho. Which is GOOD #stormblood #did I - not to wimpily explain my symbolism but wolf zenos hare wol #PLEASE say ‘gains’ in your head with the most gravelly serious Zenos voice. Like Egg.#the second image is referenced from a bnha manga cover! And the therapist joke is… somewhere? I tried to find the post again but can only #find a tweet that is not as popular as I swear the post was

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thejoobiestnerd · 3 months

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So I may have binged the entirety of the Houseki no Kuni manga. Anyways, have some memes I made:

And a non-inverse colour version of the second meme:

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #a lot of manga panels are more meme-able then we first think #houseki no shitpost #houseki no kuni was a car crash #followed by a pile-up. then an airplane crash. which hit a neuclear power plant #and I think I loved every second of it #I need to put phos in a box and shake them around- then sit them down near a fireplace with a warm blanket and a mug of hot cocoa #the ship of Theseus is strong with this one #anyways Joob ramblin tags again #Houseki no Kuni is 105 chapters not for the weak willed or of poor horror-tolerance #you will question the human condition

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gods-favorite-autistic · 10 months

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Fic prompt: The Pink Ladies and the T-Birds become convinced that Cynthia’s dating someone and won’t leave her alone until she tells them so she freaks out and tells them she’s dating Buddy

Immediately afterwards she rushes to Buddy’s house and pretty much goes “hey so I know that I’ve told you over and over again how much I hate you but can you pretty please pretend to date me” and he’s like ok fine but you owe me

And so the entire thing is just those two fumbling around trying to convince everyone that they’re dating (which is much harder for Cynthia than it is for Buddy) and the two of them becoming actual friends

#cynthia essentially begs lydia not to be mad but she just thinks it’s the funniest shit #like none of the thespians believe it for a second and some of them are like ‘it’s the heteronormativity talking sweetie’#including mr vaughn #he’s like ‘I did not set you and lydia up day after day just for you to do this #eventually there’s like a messy coming out scene where cynthia tells buddy the real reason she’s pretending to date him #and maybe you could throw in a little bit of wally/buddy in there too with buddy going up to cynthia and having a Bisexual Meltdown #anyways ignore me I’m just spouting nonsense at this point #rotpl #grease rotpl #grease rise of the pink ladies #rise of the pink ladies #cynthia zdunowski #cynthia rotpl #thesbians #lynthia #buddy aldridge #buddy rotpl #i think they would definitely sit down together and bitch about sports #cynthia would absolutely destroy buddy at football #cynthia and buddy friendship supremacy #supportive buddy supremacy #protective friend and boyfriend buddy supremacy

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profoundmakerdreamerss-blog · 9 days

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You know what's scary to think about? How inbreeding caused the gaunts to basically die out. How black madness is so prominent — and one or two more generation they might end up where Gaunts were (if they continued the marriage in family for a “pure bloodline”). Imagine, in a world where Voldemort actually won, and if we follow the theory of Voldemort wanting to destroy the world; just imagine, purebloods basically killing themselves by following this line of marriage — Imagine, how horrifying the results would be as they slowly die out.

#like #if we sit down ans think for a second #what inbreeding truly does #how it is the reason why a lot of diseases end up mutating and kills the whole line #in real life #imagine purebloods obsession with keeping the blood pure ends uo being the reason why magic dies #after they destroy the people with apparent bad “blood”#harry potter #Voldemort #idfk #its just thoughts #harry potter meta #tom riddle #black family #the gaunts

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sleepanonymous · 7 months

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Do yourself a favor and take a seat for this one fam 👍

I fell upon a point The axis of the spectrum To bathe in abstract joy Or die without direction

Determined steps we take But please, for goodness sake We’re not gonna make it out alive

I sit for wasted days and toil in desperation To weep beneath a sky of fractured indication Let faith lead you down But please, for goodness sake We’re not alive; we’re just getting older

I would help you, but I can’t Seems that time got the upper hand To live yet never understand Is there a purpose?

But you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders And you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders And you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders And you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders

But you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders (Do we) And you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders (Deserve this) And you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders (Do we) And you look like heaven crashed on your shoulders (Deserve this)

Live by the subordinate belief That we are more than this we live By the subordinate belief That we are more than this we live

Okay so you guys are just gonna have to trust me on this one. This came from an(other) anon source since the link on Way Back Machine is dead. This was published to Ves's YouTube channel on July 15, 2012. The description said something along the lines of this (basing it off memory, it's very loose):

I wrote this song about the idea that humans have evolved beyond our means. We suffer implications due to our sentience and awareness of our world, which leads us to questions we cannot answer. Animals are programmed to fear death but they probably aren't aware of its inevitability, where humans most certainly are, but are totally powerless to stop it.

Update on this song as of December 2023:

Two different Anons provided me with more background info. The first screenshot is the original description that Ves had (he also worded things in a much better and more Vessel way than I did lol). The second screenshot is copy+paste text from the lyrics portion below the description. I updated the lyrics to reflect the text.

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gifti3 · 7 months

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What if Asmo got gum stuck in his hair, like really in there and somewhere he cant see easily

But MC helps him get it out and they manage to without damaging or cutting his hair

#Not to be thirsty early in the morning but i think thst would really get him going #but seriously i was imagining this scenario in bed this morning #like making him sit in a chair (or on a pillow on the ground next to his bed)#whatever works for you #using hair clips to pin the nonstuck hair out of the way #theres like several different ways that can help remove gum--including peanut butter #Anyways mc is just searching up what to do and is like “okay...”#“we got this 👍”#and theyre so gentle when handling his hair cause they know how much he cares about it #obey me asmodeus x mc #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus x reader #My question tho is how gum got stuck in his hair like that lol #He let his guard down for 3 seconds and laid his head against a wall outside or something without thinking maybe #Or some silly cartoon shenanigans #Where someone is just blowing and big gum bubble and it pops and gets everywhere lmaoo #I like the cartoon one #Cause its silly #i pray for whoever did that tho cause ik he was mad mad #but seriously hes so thankful and pleased #like staring at you with sparkly anime eyes type shit #(//☯^☯//)#maybe something like this lol #and probably kisses and hugs too #....i think asmo would use emoticons actually #hes an XD user so i dont think its far fetched #let him send emoticons in the chat it would be funny and the brothers would probably want him to stop #except levi actually #levi joins in #ahhh my brain is so cute this morning WOW

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aimseytv · 1 year

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sorry i'm back did you see the fucking joan of arc costume. aimsey did you see it. did you see g dressed as joan of arc please aimsey

yes i did and the trajectory of my life has been changed forever

#gerard way i want every photo of you tattooed on my eyelids #genuinely one of the prettiest people to exist and i wish i was lying #they give me gender envy in every way possible #gerard way you are the only one ever #sometimes i think i’m fine and then i remember danger days gerard way and i have to sit down for a second #or cheerleader gerard way #or joan of arc gerard way #every gerard way is great #every way gerard way ways is great #that last tag made me chuckle #i’ve been on this plane for too long

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moffnat · 6 months

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lol the dev note for halsin telling the player about how he was chained in a bedroom for three years and used as a sex slave says this:

"Recounting an episode from a lively youth. Neither bragging nor ashamed."

FIX IT LARIAN

#i love halsin so so so much. they did you dirty my son #this is just outrageous #a man wrote this deadass. there is no way #literally NO way a woman would think of shit like that #abhorrent. no clue how this passed QA #especially when you have astarion's entire arc right there in the exact same game #whatever man wrote halsin can sit down for a second i have some choice words for him #bg3 critical #halsin

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dayurno · 2 months

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omg reverse riko au is making me feel so ill..... please let us know if you have any more thoughts abt riko kayleigh and kevin legend.....

I DO my idea is that its around the same age kevin and riko met in canon so tetsuji kicks the bucket when riko is 7/8 and riko is (very forcibly) removed from the nest and sidelined to kayleigh as a new moriyama asset from the main branch takes over the nest. riko struggles a lot with the change because he is very young and very scared and he’s used to horrible things at tetsuji’s hand, which means that he doesn’t trust kayleigh and finds kevin entirely too weird. it’s honestly really cute because i think at this point obviously 7 year old kevin wants to befriend him but riko is such an anxious ball of anger that most of their interactions are like

baby riko: what do you WANT from me. go AWAY!!!! NOW

baby kevin: (heavy irish accent) nothing i think. do you want a bite of my sandwich?

anyway i think riko and kayleigh do get along but he never really considers her his mother or even godmother, for a long time he thinks of her as his Benefactor until the child therapy starts hitting and she becomes Aunt Kayleigh and then after a few more years he can be loosely convinced to refer to her as auntie once or twice a year. his second son syndrome never really leaves him; in the upcoming years riko struggles with the idea that he’s anything But an add-on to the days and still overworks himself to death trying to be acknowledged by kengo, but it’s leaps better just from being outside the nest and having people to look out for him

riko and kevin have some rough patches, especially during riko’s first years with the days. because kevin is an easy target and riko is afraid of kayleigh he ends up letting a lot of that anger out on kevin, though obviously at this point they are children and riko’s anger manifests in some mild bullying and name calling. i think kevin doesn’t even understand it most of the time 😭 riko has been around grown ups his entire life so his adult level insults make no sense to kevin’s seven year old mind. nevertheless after kayleigh tells him to stop picking on kevin riko does respect it (first out of fear, then later because they actually get along) and they go on to become brothers with only a slight tendency towards antagonism. riko’s jealousy of kevin is still a big part of their relationship and i think even more so when college applications roll around, and he’s even more worried when wymack comes into the picture, but it never culminates into anything as horrible as hand breaking because riko has an actual outlet and a support system :) it’s mostly a yelling match that eventually turns to getting scolded by kayleigh for acting like barbarians

#i know kayleighs sermons go hard kevin and riko are sitting there head bowed like yes maam…..#i havent yet decided where they both go to college in this au #but i think for one that the nest still exists and jean still gets sold to the moriyamas but it’s the main branch now #however without riko there jean’s experience in the nest is. Hard but not brutal #anyway i think riko would apply to edgar allen but he would be rejected on the account of being second branch raised by foreigners #but how horrifying to think about jean in the nest bossing riko around right. kind of a slay though #i think kevin goes to palmetto still Because he wants to reconnect with wymack and riko is very divided but ultimately chooses usc #because they’re the best and he doesn’t want to play second fiddle to kevin and his father #also i imagine his time in usc sucks a lot for the first months because it’s so different LOL #and he’s never been alone before like this with kayleigh and kevin so far out of reach #but :) hed make friends. maybe even… captain jeremy knox….. whos to say?#!#meanwhile kevin (a normal boy at this point) has to deal with the foxes being a trainwreck and the new serial killer dad recruit #he’s got a lot on his hands #ANYWAY this is entirely unrelated and indulgent but i want this kevjean to meet so bad #riko on the phone: we played against the ravens that jean moreau is a scoundrel and a monster and he almost broke my arm kevin: woaw #he’s gonna be so pissed off three years down the line when jean moreau shows up at christmas dinner with the days #you think theres any worse dynamic for jean and riko than master and slave? of course. Brothers in law #wouldnt you just kill to be a little fly buzzing around that christmas supper #asks #riko #kevin&riko

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