Raya and the Last Dragon popped into my head today and I kept thinking about how the incredibly unsubtle and poorly executed message of trusting others felt like a first draft.
What do you think about it? Would a revised script with the same story premise fix that film? Or was it doomed from the get go in what it was trying to say?
Good question! I go back and forth. I think the movie's biggest weak point was its writing, so I guess I'd say, "a revised script with the same story premise would fix it!"
There's nothing wrong at all with a message like "Without trust, we can't stand together." Because it's very true. Everyone has priorities, and there's always a chance they'll choose themselves over you, or over the "greater good." But if you keep trying to take control of the situation by believing the worst about them before it happens, you'll be exhausted & jaded, they'll be exhausted & jaded, and all your time and energy will be spent on competing with each other for the grand prize of "who can look out for their own interests better."
I think Raya and the Last Dragon's premise works for a truth like that. It makes total sense to have a girl who's competitive become jaded and control-freaky when her father, the symbol of the virtue of trust & good faith, is murdered by betrayal. And not just any betrayal, but betrayal from someone she directly tried to befriend and trust as a sort of "first experience" with that good faith her dad was always talking about. Makes total sense. And it's impactful; something that traumatic and personal would cause a relatable character flaw that the heroine needs drastic measures to overcome.
I actually love the concept of Sisu too. I like the idea that she's this pure, selfless soul who's got childlike faith—but, all the jaded people in a post-apocalyptic world respect and consider her worldview because she's a revered dragon. So she really does change minds just by being around them, just by coming back and existing in the first place. I mean, if she had been just a sheltered girl from, say, a different country, who came into the broken Kumandra with stars in her eyes, the bad guys wouldn't have thought twice about whatever she exemplified. But she's a dragon.
And step back and think about it: having a group of characters from every walk of life come together as a mini-experiment in trust and unity during the course of the adventure is a great idea. It's not flashy or original, but it's classic and true. Avatar the Last Airbender has a crew of characters from each tribe combining to defeat evil. When Kenai has a prejudice against bears in Brother Bear, how is that character flaw solved? Not just by him turning into one, but by him having to travel with and get to know one.
What they get to know is that they all have something in common: they've all lost people to the great evil in the world. And, they all want the same things, despite cultural differences. They all want their families back, they all want safety and success.
So yeah, the pieces are all there. The problem is, the writing was just super clunky. Theres a lot of telling, when it comes to the story, instead of showing. There's not no showing. There's just not enough.
I know this is already a long post, but I'll just point out: Aladdin's message had a lot to do with trust, too. But no character ever said out loud, "you have trust issues and you need to work through them." Certainly not more than once. The closest you get is Genie telling Aladdin to be himself.
Instead, you're just shown that Jasmine is the type of girl to give an apple to a hungry kid without even thinking about whether or not the shopkeeper wouldn't want her to do it. She's the type of girl who plays along with a scrubby boy from the marketplace trying to help her. She's the kind of girl who goes out with a Prince even though she has reason to believe he's already lying to her. She just does those things, and never says, "hey, why did you lie to me--you have trust issues!"
Meanwhile Aladdin's whole story is him bending over backwards to control what everyone thinks of him, because he can't trust them to accept him as he is. But he never says, "Trust gets me hurt." He just says, "if Jasmine knew I was really some crummy street-rat, she'd laugh at me."
Those sentences that the characters say are well-written because they are realistic. Only in our modern psycho-babble Instagram-influencer culture, where everyone thinks they're an expert on the human psyche, are teenagers starting to say things like "My trauma causes me to struggle with trust."
What Aladdin says is much more immediate, much more down-to-earth than that. It shows where his brain is in that moment. He's not thinking about the general philosophy of truth and trust. He's just thinking about what he should or shouldn't say on his date, and how scary the idea of getting laughed at is. We, the audience, are smart enough to infer that it's all rooted in trust issues. We don't need Genie to deliver a speech six times to make it abundantly clear.
I'm capable of identifying that as the problem, but I'm not great at doing it, myself. I know the language, I'm not great at speaking it. But actually I'm going to punt this part of the question over to @doverstar , who is very skilled at "show, don't tell," especially in dialogue. How would you re-write that scene where Sisu is trying to convince Raya of the importance of trust?
One final thing that I think handicaps Raya and the Last Dragon is that, because of the way they're written, the characters lose likability. Theres a way to have a traumatized, defensive girl who thinks she knows everything still be likable. Just like there was a way to have a selfish, insecure liar be likable in Aladdin.
I think there are other issues—I'd have completely written out the baby and the monkeys, and I'd have cut the fight sequences between two teenage girls way shorter because nobody cares about them. But that can be for another post.
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