#since thats smth ive been wanting to do yknow

[toastsnaffler]

uwgrhrhfbf feeling very pathetic + missing my ex rn..... not so much the dating part but we were best friends for soooo long :^(((

#ik its been a while but some things were just so easy with them there yknow. i havent felt that ease in such a long time now #the hole they left behind still hasnt filled in...ive never known as truly or cared as deeply abt anyone before or since #last time we fought rly was the last straw. if they wanted to resolve it I wouldve. but they said not to contact them anymore so I haven't #maybe that was smth they said out of anger + now theyre too proud to take it back (<- in character) but they couldve texted me anytime so. #but its so strange.. they havent blocked me on any social media but they removed me from their instagram followers #but they still follow me?? why not just block me entirely? and we're still friends on fb/discord too.. even tho our fight was over discord #I don't want to block them bc I wanted us to work it out + stay friends. and if they messaged now I would consider repairing the damage #so I'll leave those channels open in case they ever come back #they unfollowed me on spotify + deleted some playlists theyd shared with me but specifically not the ones they made FOR me(??) #which is also odd. the funniest part of it all (to me anyway) is they unfollowed me on duolingo... thats when u know the divorce is real #like WHY would u remove me on duolingo and not discord which we both use DAILY and still see each other active on..... what. #they always were an enigma #I didnt like the person they had become when we were last in contact. I think they were around some very bad influences #at their uni.. they were very bitter and saw the worst in everything. it made me so sad to see them change like that #it happens. but even with that + how they treated me I still cared abt them very deeply + still do now tbh #I hope theyre ok wherever they are + whatever theyre doing. sending nice thoughts their way #and I do still hope that someday maybe theyll reach out again I do miss them so much sometimes #man. #anyway too much thinking I need to go to sleep #goodnight ily silly ppl on tumblr #.diaries #.vent #<- i suppose

[irrigos]

been thinking about motr again (as is my wont) and i think one of my complaints about it is that i think it's kind of weird that no one is antisemitic??

not that im like. "boo i wish there was more bigotry in the world!!" or smth lmao. it's just that it feels like maybe there was supposed to be some but then they chickened out

like. archie is accused of murdering david, and we know immediately that he didnt do it because he's our friend (and also thats just how stories work.) but i still dont understand why everyone else is so convinced he did it, when they never bother to give him a motive

when I heard the pitch for motr, I had assumed the motive would be bigotry. even if archie himself isnt antisemitic, it would make sense for Harjit or David or anyone who thinks archie did it to at some point go "well the victim was a marginalized person, so we just assume the motive was bigotry" but no one ever says that, even as just. a possibility?? but they ALSO dont have a different, stronger motive for Archie to have done it?? if Archie and David had some sort of enmity, this probably wouldn't be a problem at all, but since they dont have anything, it really feels like the only possible motive would have been prejudice, and yet no one will ever say it, even as a possibility that gets refuted

it just seems really weird to me!! ive posted before about how i understand why FBG writes stuff the way they do (writing period-accurate bigotry isnt like. fun. and also i dont think it would be commercially successful, especially if you want to court an audience of non-bigots) but it just kinda. lacked some verisimilitude for me on this one, especially because they made such a big thing about how much research they were doing and how they were consulting experts so they could write their first explicitly Jewish characters in the universe?? like... did you guys just. forget. why did you even bother researching that much when it's never really part of the story?

(also, my incredibly minor complaint is that i think its a missed opportunity to not have one of the Landaus comment on how golems are real apparently. like sure i guess they never actually cross paths with Moss but. yknow... cmon)

anyway this is also just kind of a matter of taste, because i know that bigotry free fantasty worlds are very popular with some people, and i definitely get the appeal!!! it just does very little for me, especially in what is technically a period piece. for me personally, it doesnt hit as like "oh cool a fun fantasy world that im welcome in :3" it just comes across (TO ME) as. very fake

.... but actually now that ive written the whole post, i think the real problem is that they forgot to give archie even a POSSIBLE motive, but also wouldnt suggest, even as a possibility that gets refuted, the most obvious motive, which wouldn't even require them to change any of the story beats at ALL. its just a really weird writing decision and i don't get it

#motr posting #motr spoilers #as always theres the possibility that this does come up and i just never got it #but its odd to me that you never really get to suggest that as a possible motive for the murder #especially since rachel says stuff that suggests that antisemitism is still like. real in this universe #but also the only example i can remember of her saying a hardship she experienced bc shes jewish was her also jewish family #thinking shes not orthodox enough??? #weird writing decisions imo!!!! very odd. it doesnt really hang together imo

[aropride]

wrt that poll abt tone indicators thats going around.w ell first of all tbh i think some of the hatred for them comes from cringe culture. but second of all. some of the criticism is totally fair like there are a fuckton of tone indicators and sometimes . there really dont need to be. and the abbreviations can be confusing i try to type out ones that arent s srs or j. tho i feel like most of the newer ones were popularized on twt so itmakes sense they wouldnt be written all the way out

like i think my prolem is when theres SO many and theyre redundant. i found a carrd with a fuckton of them that im gonna comment on To entertain myself sorry

like these 3 all feel redundant .. why do u need a different tone tag for Mostly joking than Half joking ? or for a Coping joke ? just use /j or combine with with like, /neg or something to get the tone across yknow? and /ji - first of all looks like /ij (inside joke), second of all why not just use /j

and like. why half serious or mostly serious or not serious when /j or /hj exist ? why /ns when it looks so similar to /nsrs, which means the opposite ? ive been using /s since like 2015 and /srs since like 2018 so ivegot those down and dont confuse them but i see why could be for some one who hasnt used them b4, why make it more complicated?

i like /g or /gen in theory- ppl have said its confusing bc gen could be general which i get, but for ppl familiar w tone tags tend to know what it means. genq is one ive used just bc. its fun to type tbh. and i think ppl get what it means but its not really Necessary. BUt genep and genc feel unnecessary when /g and /srs exist, and /gene is just, a word. that's just a word ! 😭

ojh my god. i should do a tone indicator tier list

as you can see my adhd meds are working

/nbr is funny bc half the time when some1 says theyre not being rude they definitely are. also there's already /g /srs and /lh. /nm is either helpful or deeply confusing Bc i try to take it at face value but sometimes i see it and im like. Why would i be mad ? and i start overthinking. but thats a me problem

i like this one i use it when i complain a lot Bc i dont want ppl to think im vagueing them i just love complaining

i love these ones. tone indicators for Being Mean To Someone. dunno if its on this list but ive seen /pa and /sbh (/passive aggressive & /somebody here, respectively) which is SO funny. i dont think theyre helpful really though except /neg Bc again. these all mean very similar things !!! why not just clarify extra things with a parenthetical

THESE R ALL THE SAME TONE !!! why not jsut use one single tone indicator for this !!! or none at all and just type the word !!!

need /nfl on a shirt in the aro colors so poeple know im not fucking interested in them. that aside. 1. whywould u need this ever !!! why not use again just /j if necessary.and 2. isnt the nfl a football thing

these r similar but i do like them, i think typing out a whole word again is a better solution so u dont have to scavenge google for the meaning but i think its helpful to clarify this and isnt synonymous with /j or /s or /lh

i think these ones are almost all just from the op's discord server or w/e, i won't bash that cuz if it works for them it works, that being said i dont think This many tone indicators for these types of things r helpful outside of that specific context yknow? also, /fx is really funny

ok i wont say that typing tics dont exist bc tics can be complex and vary by situation etc so im sure they can, but is that happening That much that u need a tone tag for it ? and also like. for /unin just delete the msg or say "oops sent too early hang on" or smth.. and as for vocal stim. first of all why is it /vt ? and second of all . why ... would u need that to type out ? bc if ur vocal stimming that would be. out loud? i.e. not in a chat where youre typing ???????@????>?,//???? BAFFLING. also in what situation is /gib necessary i genuinely cant think of one

ANYWAY.

None of this is to rag on tone indicators (/genuine) i think they can be helpful + i am always being gensrs when i use them. i just think some r a little silly & a lot from longer lists are unhelpful Bc theyre supposed to make communication Easier and Clearer + haveing So many tone indicators with Different Implied Tones WITHIN the indicators !!! makes it harder imo. bc if theyre to clarify tone why should i have to fight for my life deciphering why someone went from /mj to /hj yknow.

like this is all my Opinion and imsure these r all helpful for Someone otherwise they wouldnt exist but i rly feel like the system could be condensed a bit yk.

do i have a system in mind to suggest here ? well.

(also. this whole post is /genuine, /lighthearted, /not upset, and /not passive aggressive. and a bit /silly)

#text

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

okay so. im like. idk ANY music theory. like. at all apart from when i played the piano for a couple years when i was like 7. so. this is definitely the ramblings of a guy who is being very autistic about bug video game. and nothing more. (and also has been done before i am purely doing this for @exnihilo-comic​ bc they asked me on my thoughts) BUT. i am sooooo fucking insane about the hollow knight ost. (LONGGGG post below the cut)

SO LIKE. theres OBVIOSULY the like. main theme yknow. thats in enter hallownest and the title screen song. the one that goes likeeee errr. (wait i gotta look up smth rq)

OKAY SO THERES THIS. (just taken from here) :

anddd theres this :

WHICH is like. yknow. the whole Big leitmotif of. Everything. BUT. the thing is. i was wondering which songs specifically it is in. bc like. im hoping its not just. hallownest’s motif. and more for smth specifically. BUT YEA. so so far theres obviously the title screen and enter hallownest (which is the trailer music im p sure ?)(ok yea it was the ferocious foes trailer music). BUT. im gonna go thru all the songs n see which ones have this in (i will not be accurate as im going by ear since errrrr. im not the best at reading sheet music)

okay well dirtmouth (taken from here) IMMEDIATELY has the theme in it (with the bit in red missing)

it is clearly slower n in a dif key but like. the same theme

and pretty much most of the melody of dirtmouth is like. essentially this same theme. just a loaddd slower. and in a dif key. im not gonna screenshot each comparison and try to pinpoint each difference bc. like ive said, idk music theory. i just like video game osts.

okay so crossroads is a little more difficult but to me it sounds like it possibly has the same chord progression ? but i may be speaking out my arse so someone who actually knows what theyre talking abt could draw comparisons.

altho i DO want to talk abt the crossroads track. this is the part where i start bullshitting FULLY. so like smth i LOVE abt it is how very drawn out each note is. like it sets the scene of hk PERFECTLY. its like. the track feels a lot more loose ? i suppose ? than the other songs you wouldve heard by now. which ig feels like it rlly shows how sorta. abandoned and like. i mean “forgotten” the “forgotten” crossroads rlly r. like they have no sorta form left but its clear that crossroads was once a place w a lot more life in it besides the handful of npcs u meet there (well like. yknow. uninfected life). but the one thing abt the crossroads track is that it sounds. calm yknow. which does reflect the crossroads compared 2 the other locations. the enemies there r simple enough to defeat and theres plenty of safe spots. its right under dirtmouth so its (before its infected) the safest area a player will explore for a whileeee. anyways ye the crossroads track is cool.

okay w the false knight battle theme i wasnt RLLY gonna say anything abt it BUT. it does actually have the main theme in it.

(link)

sooo yea so far the only connection ive made is Almost Every Song Has This Theme In It.

oh also in the false knight theme there is this ONE bit that sounded a little like the very beginning of the mantis lords theme to me but idk theyre not the CLOSEST just similar.

anyways next song: greenpath. so i THINK its happened again and THE WHOLE BIG LEITMOTIF IS ONCE AGAIN HERE.

like dirtmouth it is slower and in a different key but thats definitely it. which honestly was unexpected i didnt think it was in any area music. so once again, i think this is in literally almost EVERY track so thats making me more wonder abt the tracks its NOT in. but ill come to that later maybe. what i do want to know is if theres anything else in greenpaths track thats in another song. what im thinking is perhaps therell be a similarity between greenpath and hornets battle music ?

okay this sorta call and response thing here is interesting to me because it sounds veryyyy familiar to me. (everytime i have heard it tho it just sounds like either hornets voice at some point or when sly says gibolen mas sooo take this as u will. i am however listening 2 a couple of hornets lines and the closest i think there is is when she says la fe nuva nido or whatever that gibberish is) anyways the call and response interests me.

anyways more abt greenpaths song in general terms, i do love how this one feels a lot more full of life than crossroads, because crossroads felt very barren w the blue and the brick(?) whereas greenpath is full of life, just in the sense of scenery. its (obviously) a lot greener and full of plant life which already feels loads more alive. and the enemies there also arent simply just husks (AND EVIL SAP MONSTERS) theres like. theres moss creatures and fucking squits and those shooty wall things and just a whole lot more life, and that is reflected very well in the track bc it sounds a lot more full and like it has actual emotion. and even the battle theme (like where u fight the moss knight) is a lotttt more emotional and tense than crossroads’ - which feels a lot more like just sorta. primal fear what with a beat that sounds almost like a heartbeat and the repetitive drums. but greenpaths battle theme is a LOT more lively and dance-like and it has DEPTH. idk i thinkkk im rambling a little but i do love greenpaths contrast with crossroads

OKAY. hornets battle theme. smth obviously noticed a lot before is her theme is comprised of only string instruments (yknow bc. shes a spider n uses a needle and will star in SILKsong so like. yeah. string) ONCE AGAIN. the main motif is in this song surprise surprise. (link)

altho smth interesting abt it is how it changes depending on which half of the theme is playing. for the first half the er. whatever u call the top bit i forgot. is playing it (and im prettyyy sure its a violin or viola or smth similar). but then it switches to the er. bottom line. and is played by a perhaps cello ??? smth lower than the first instrument. and different. which i think is a nice little thing AND is similar to the call and response from greenpath.

thats p much all i can say in terms of “technical” stuff BUT. in terms of vibes. I love how perfect this is for hornets fight. it definitely reflects how shes a lot more agile than the false knight and depends less on pure strength and more on her movement in the arena. i love how very fast paced it is AND HOW HAPPY IT IS. it is a VERY happy piece because hornet is ENJOYING HERSELF. bc yes her and ghost r fighting but she never wants to HURT it (even if i DIED to her like. a million times.) and WE never hurt her, we just beat her (and if ur a speedrunner, bully her in a corner) but she laughs during the fight, she has silly little battle cries, shes having a FUN TIME. which is shown in the music bc its CONSISTENTLY HAPPY. also the very sharp and sorta staccato (see i know SOME music terminology) notes throughout r veryyy fitting for the fights pacing and hornets attacks.

Okay this has been sitting in mt drafts for a bit and idk i might rb w add ons but j think i was just on smth else that night bc ive never been like. In the Mindset(tm) to do more of this. Ok. Have fun exnihilo person. Yea.

#night thoughts #hollow knight #if this makes no sense blame me from like a week ago or smth idk

[themkultra]

do NOT take this the freak way 

but like how did we get so entrenched in the culture of “if you’re an adult interacting with minors you must be tiptoeing on eggshells 100% of the time otherwise ur grooming them” where we get these huge callout posts/warning docs abt like . literally a “ur mom” joke or smth of that cadence, like im specifically curious about what makes 17 a minor but like the SECOND you turn 18 its like “YOU MUST TAG EVERY POST U MAKE THAT HAS THE SLIGHTEST PENIS MENTION WITH MINORS DNI, DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO MINORS AFTER 8PM, AND DONT YOU EVER DARE TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM EVER BC UR GONNA GROOM THEM!!!” like bro its 12:06am on ur birthday, 7 minutes ago it wouldve been fair game??? like what??? i dont get it genoiuenly also i think 18 should still be considered “minor” but also i think we need to reevaluate what minor/adult even MEANS in ONLINE spaces specifically online. like ive been told i cant talk about a funny hookup story with someone whos like 5 months younger than me bc i had just turned 18 . where is the logic in that. like ur brain dont stop developing until like 25 or smth. ON THE OTHER HAND i totally understand the reasoning thats like, oh ur at different maturity levels and diff stages in life, thats why you should be cautious when talking with someone younger than you and yeah thats totally fair! but i also think its making a lot of adults think that they can no longer have the same friendship relationship they had before with their friends who happen to be minors, which is kinda sad bc like come on penis and sex jokes are fucking funny we’re not puritans here and anyone whjo thinks teenagers dont think abt sex is living under a rock AND AGAIN IM NOT A FUCKING FREAK IM NOT ACTIVELY THINKING ABT TEENS HAVING SEX im just saying, why are we treating all minors like sterilized fabergé eggs who must be handled with like 6 layers of starchy white gloves as to not upset their delicate balance . i think its healthy for teens to have adult friends who treat them like adults IN THE RIGHT WAYS bC a lot of times all the adults in their lives treat them like babies when they want to be recognized as the individuals they are. i think im a much better well rounded person bc i had adult friends (technically parent’s friends that talked to me when they were over) when i was younger that taught me shit abt like, yknow, being an adult and growing up while still having healthy boundaries. like i think tumblr is soooo far removed from real life im realizing this more and more if real life was how tumblr is it would be insane tbh. imagine a highschooler goes up to you and asks for directions on the street and u have to be like “IM 18 IM AN ADULT DONT INTERACT WITH ME I MIGHT GROOM YOU” like ?????? jesus? anyway go ahead flay me alive if you like but again i leave you with this:

i am a normal person if whatever you think i may be implying is nasty then obvsiously im not implying it and youre reading this wrong on purpose

also since when could you get crucified for talking about anything relating to different age relationships without being accused of being a freak. go outside

#grooming m #just been on my mind lately

[fearowkenya]

hm!

this is like vaguely related to that post abt ambiguity . i was gonna put this in the tags but uhhhh actually i dont want the op of that post to see it because it turned into a lot more words than i thought and at that point its like, make ur own post , yknow

anyway wrt ambiguity, normally i HATE not knowing stuff which is why i was p resistant to it before. something something deepseated belief that im not smart enough to read between the lines and that when i try im wrong because i am not smart so why even try. but actually maybe i am smart enough and the deepseated belief is wrong, and maybe its fun to try to figure stuff out yourself even if youre wrong or even if theres multiple possibilities. i digress.

basically i dont want to sound like one of these two specific flavors of dumbass:

i like knowing things yes but now i prefer 'knowing' things, in that i chewed on it until i think ive figured it out. could i be wrong? maybe. probably, even ,since i still have Issues with thinking im not smart enough to understand.

the first is just completely wrong bc i misunderstood something or interpreted smth in a way that is definitely incorrect or having not connected some pretty obvious dots

the second is more, Hahah check out this idiot who is trying to Understand when the point is Not Understanding. when ppl say they like ambiguity do they mean that they like coming up with their own conclusions regardless of if its the right one or not, or do they mean they see ambiguity and are like "MM who can say! anyway," and never think about it again. because i dont understand the appeal of that second thing , but if thats actually what it is, i worry i am not smart enough to understand why it appeals to people.

anyway thats why it takes me six million years to make posts abt shit i think ive figured out. even yesterday when i made the post abt okami i reread it like eight million times until i was confident id thought about every single possible angle.

its like, i dont actually care about being wrong, ppl are wrong all the time including me and thats just how it is to be a person. nothing wrong with being wrong. and its not like my interpretation HAS to be right, half the fun is hearing wildly different interpretations from other people.

its more that if im really excited n confident abt something i think ive figured out, i get very scared that ive overlooked something extremely obvious and that people will not be kind to me about it. this is kinda irrational because i probably dont want to be friends with people who are mean to me because i was wrong about something. but all the same, brains Been Like That for a long time.

what the fuck was this post about. oh yeah i like to chew on ambiguity its fun

#mattie chatters

[eirian]

ramble post time again

so yknow how i was thinking of going into comics again?? well i was also thinking abt like..the logistics of it, and how comic artists usually handle their comics

for anyone who knows, is it ok for a comic artist to do literally everything in their comic? like bgs and characters and everything? or is it more encouraged that we get a team to work together on separate parts?

id love to start making more comics and possibly get published but like. idk. i recognize itd be a grueling job (ive heard abt the manga artists who get maybe 2 hours of sleep and get paid very little..) but i still wanna try it. ive been inspired recently and making comics has always been one of my interests so!! wouldnt it be cool to see one of my stories in stores?

i just gotta find a story of mine that im passionate about. hell, i could try making a new one even. im already working on v+s but i was thinking of starting a more manga-like comic series thats black and white instead of all colored to make it a bit easier on me lol. ive wanted to make a manga since i was younger..

i thought abt making tsod into a manga but i dont want to change the art style too much so i'll probs go with a new story or smth. i'll think of smth surely

[glitchdollmemoria]

big long diary esque ramble about jewish conversion below the cut bc mmmm the paragraphs

its sinking in that now that im finally settling into a synagogue i feel comfortable in, im gonna have a community i can celebrate the holidays with, and i can actually learn firsthand how to celebrate them... really fucking exciting

i dont know when ill be able to actually officially start the conversion process, both because im flat broke and idk how much everything would cost AND bc this synagogue is still looking for an official rabbi rather than guest speakers (transitional period since the last rabbi moved away), but in the meantime i feel like im very quickly being taken under the congregations collective wing yknow? so im excited to start celebrating jewish holidays with other people who know what theyre doing rather than having to cobble together what i can while i sit in my apartment lmao

overall im really really happy to finally be attending. its been way too long since ive been able to regularly attend a congregation. and this one is a conservative synagogue, and ive only ever attended reform synagogues before. the one i went to back in my old town was great, i adored the people there and the way we worshipped and everything was so comfortable, it was absolutely where i needed to be during that time. but based on my research and my experiences so far, im fairly confident conservative is the movement for me. this synagogue is definitely where im meant to be now, and my thoughts are basically... while my partner and i do have a plan on where we want to live someday, thats still years down the line most likely, bc im poor and hes in college, so im HOPING that this synagogue will be the one i attend throughout my conversion. i mean id be fine with starting here and having to transfer rabbis later but im mostly hoping ill be finished up before that time comes

theres something very familiar about this congregation. something in the grain of the wood, and in the worn out books of the library. its comfortable and welcoming and it tells me this is where im supposed to be, at least right now.

also - i keep thinking back to when i attended the reform synagogue in this city. the service itself was great, but i didnt really feel like i fit in with the others, especially the people my age. one of the other 20-somethings said that the people at the conservative synagogue were all "boomers" or smth who were unaccepting in some way or another, and idk if she had her own bad experience here which i really wouldnt want to brush off, but so far everyone has been very kind. i was immediately welcomed once i explained that im wanting to convert, multiple people went out of their way to help me and invite me to stay longer and attend more events. i was immediately regarded as a man, and maybe that was because i was wearing a suit and my voice is deep from hrt but it was still very reassuring either way - an older man told me very firmly to put on a kippah and while i joked with my friends that i felt like a kid being lightly chastised, it was still a really nice feeling to not only be seen as a man but to have someone insist on me following that custom.

and then afterward, over lunch, i was chatting with the other congregants and ended up talking about my partner, and referred to it with multiple pronoun sets and explained that it uses any pronouns. nobody was rude at all about that fact, and one man was clearly a little confused by me switching around words and pronouns but was very very obviously doing his best to be respectful and understand as best as he could. he said he was working on understanding these things better for his kids iirc.

overall i feel like this synagogue is a safe place for both myself AND my partner, should it ever visit and want to attend with me. yes, most of the people here are elderly, but everyone was friendly and so far people have been respectful when it comes to queerness and conversion. id say the worst thing i heard someone say was a small dig at reform judaism, but even then, another member was quick to shut him down.

it frustrates me a little to think that the people here might be getting labeled as intolerant in one way or another if thats not really the case, if its just because theyre older. again, i dont want to brush off any bad experiences someone else mightve had, but i also worry that there might be some preconceived notions at play here, yknow? but i guess in the end theres not much use dwelling on it. im just happy to feel at home in a congregation again, and to feel like im back on track making more progress toward my conversion. im glad to be meeting all these people and finding my place in a community instead of feeling so isolated so much of the time.

[isopode]

Ok so I answered the poll abt computer science or daycare educations and I voted for computer science BUT I just wanted to make a small comment abt that! Theres a lot of fields that fall under computer science and personally I went into geomatic engineering and I'm having a BLAST there's so many different fields where I can apply my skillset and so yeah I just wanted to say that theres very specific and kind of unknown branches of computer science that are in high demand so they can be worth exploring depending on your interests!

ye theres a program i could enroll in that teaches geomatics specifically, + i did do SOME geomatics in my previous program & i didnt completely hate it, although it's still not.... smth i'd be passionate abt yknow. but here's the thing, i can't enroll in that program anyway cuz the only 2 cégeps that offer it r in other cities & i cant afford to move rn :(

for me it'd mostly be game engineering i'd be interested in i suppose, since thats what i've been exposed to this past year. not that i rlly understand anything abt it at all, but i've been volunteering as a game designer + moderator for a browser game, & just by being apart of that team ive had a lot of insight into what goes into game development (even if i dont understand wtf theyre talking abt 95% of the time)

its not smth i wouldve given even a single thought abt a year ago, but shit changes ig. its so far away from everything ive been working towards, from my life goals, etc its kinda weird to think that its an option im genuinely considering today. sigh

#tysm for this tho i rlly appreciate it #anon #asks

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Episode 12 is 24 mins long, its the longest one yet please tell me theres something here thats not just filler

Its the same day as the previous episode and shes walkin around, doin what she always does and interacting w/ the villagers, I think we'll just show this as a kindof montage

I feel like she hasnt been interacting w/ Emmalyn since she moved into her own house, maybe they have a lil girls afternoon at Emmalyn's or something to distract her

Then we get the scene w/ Logan at the plaza, which plays out like it does in the OG, I might adjust Aphmaus dialogue to be a bit more irritated n shit. I also might lead into the scene by having one of the villagers be like "ay, this merchant isnt selling stuff, what up w/ that"

Once shes done w/ that, she goes to check on Brendan again and has an exchange w/ Garroth thats slightly different than the one in the OG, I mainly wanted him to say that he and the Brightport doctor helped Brendan bc yknow, he was there too. I would still like to have Garroth being good w/ injuries as a trait though, bc hes a guard and I feel like it makes sense for him to know how to handle them

Also, at the end of his plea for Aphmau to stay here I'd like to add something like "And I ask of you, please rest. You look... tired."

Okay, ive decided that Aphmau doesnt have a hamster, rn she just has her cat so Im cutting this subplot about the hamster growing istg if that turns out to be important

So yeah, Aphmau leaves decides to check on Zenix and asks him if he's feeling alright bc yknow, hes about to go chase not!Zenix and he seems like a dangerous fella. Their convo starts the same sans a few tweaks, Im extending it a little and adding more of a back and forth so it seems more like normal human interaction, and Im cutting that bit where he asks her to make him three arrows bc thats another one of those things that makes sense in a Minecraft RP but not really in any other story

Logan has set up a makeshift archery stand like in the OG and Aphmau approaches him but his dialogue is a bit different bc yknow, Zenix actually does have a bow and arrows here. Maybe he can instead mock him for being really bad at archery, saying smth like "A real knight would know how to use more than one weapon!". Maybe that could even trigger some kind of fight between Zenix and Logan bc Zenix is not standing that far away from him. Idk, I feel like quite a few of these convos really need to either be longer or feel less like they take place in a vacuum where no one else can hear them, but I'll worry about that when I polish this a bit more

In any case, ya girl is too tired to deal w/ this so she just interrupts them like "Hey, Zenix, do you mind showing me your archery skills" and so he does and he sucks ass which is. not great. And Aphmau is just like "ahaha, yea, you, youre not good... hopefully you'll get better though 👍 im leaving, have a nice day" and then she leaves and goes to rest at home

Man, I feel like some of these episodes are just so nothing, I hope i can rework them into something thats a bit less hard to pay attention to. And again, a lot of these issues just come down to "theyre trying to tell a story in Minecraft, but it currently just comes across as a playthrough of a fantasy openworld rpg in the worst way possible" but stilllllllll, i have a really low attention span man :(

I also get why theyre taking it slow in the beginning, I also want to take it slow so that the audience can get attached to this place and the people in it so that its like, tragic when shit starts hitting the fan but ughhhh idk what this is man

#lunas mcyt shit #my mc/d rewrite

[wygolvillage]

gonna get smth off my chest thats been there for SEVERAL MONTHS ALMOST A YEAR AT THIS POINT in the tags lol

#ive been considering using another set of pronouns for. again. a while and like i would just go ahead and do it HOWEVER #i dont consider it to be a thing in relation to gender just personal presentation... like i imagine using them and it makes me feel happy #but i wouldnt consider myself 'not cis' bc im still definitely just a girl yknow??? #i guess the thing is idk if i would be doing 'something wrong' if i were to start using different pronouns (in addition to she/her) you know #LIKE U KNOW THAT STUPID TIKTOK COMMENT THAT EVERYONE WAS MAKING FUN OF THAT CALLED SMTH 'GENDER APPROPRIATION' #THATS WHAT MY WEIRD ANXIOUS THOUGHTS THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN LOL #and ofc theres always like 'nahhh im just faking it. theres no way' even though ive been considering it for ALMOST A YEAR??? #bizarre. why does my brain work like that #and in addition to that i kinda want to say that im fine with any pronouns too since ive been accidentally they/themmed and he/himmed #by ppl who didnt know me. over the internet u know #and it felt kinda good??? #like idk it would be so easy to just add 'it/she but any pronouns are fine' to my bio but im cowardly. lol #NOW TO POST THIS BEFORE I JUST END UP SAVING IT TO MY DRAFTS AND DELETING IT *EXPLOSION* #AAAAAAAAA

[lysiso]

#hhhh #i rly hate how reserved and antisocial i come off irl cuz im the most affectionate warm and loving person on the inside #i really dont like all these walls i've built bc once you realise how youre acting is not how u really are or want to be that shit annoys #and weighs you down so much #obv u cant just undo the trauma that caused u to build those walls its all shadow work to do and im absolutely fine with that but agh!! #ALSO ive BEEN super reserved since the beginning i started my job last year but now theres ppl i really like at work like there r a few rly #chill ones who i vibe and everytime i get to know someone like that (which is not a lot..) i think i give them whiplash bc then the #affectionate side just jumps out #that or i think maybe i give them the wrong impression that im interested in more which sucks cuz i dont want to do either of that cuz that #would make ME uncomfortable af so i end up being reserved again I HATE IIITTT jfbdjd #it sucks being known as the 'shy and quiet girl bc #the second u do start to say smth it's like... idk #i could laugh at someone's jokes and get along w them and ppl will think oh this is a side we havent seen of her she must have feelings for #that person or i'll express a dislike in a normal ass way but bc im always quiet and kind they'll look at me like 0_0 yknow like i just #insulted their mother or smth lmaooo #BUT IM ALWAYS THIS LOVING!!! AND IVE ALWAYS HAD A SNARKY SARCASTIC SIDE!!!!! #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #AND ME SHOWING THIS TO YOU MEANS NOTHING MORE THAN ME JUST BEING COMFORTABLE AROUD YOU!!!! thATS IIT #n e ways quick rant i just... want to show love to people

[fridgevespidae]

ok ya thats enough tumblr 4 a while <3

#negative/ #ask to tag/ #sometimes i forget how nauseous this site can make me and i was on here for like... 3 mins #not gonna clarify what this is abt bc its!! just in general #abt random users i see. no one in particular!! #also i promise this isnt abt any mutuals/friends or anything #but also! only posting this bc like #i also mean this genuinely. i think im gonna genuinely take a break from this site #bc ive been doing kinda shitty lately and like... i REALLY dont need this site making that worse yknow? #also gonna reiterate this: this is just abt like... the way random ppl and posts i find act!! not abt any specific person or smth #and DEF not any friends or mutual cus the op of these posts i 99% of the time block #sorry if this is phrased weird!!! im just stressed and am just. rly thinking this site might make that worse or already b doing that #also will b deleting the app temporarily so i dont impulsively check here so i wont recieve any dms on here!!! #also am abt 2 go 2 bed so @ any1 who sees this #gn!!!! i hope u sleep well!! #see u whenever i decide tumblr wont b as bad for me!!! #who knows maybe ill remake while im at it #since thats smth ive been wanting to do yknow? start from scratch a bit!

[splattacks]

i just did some serious vent writing using ‘oc development’ as an excuse

#ive been having a bad few weeks!! feeling really bad about some aspects of my life!!! #and i wanted a way to put it out yknow. but im having a hard time with art and i Do Not wish to make it worse so #(by art i mean drawing. writing is art too just not what i usually do) #i thought hm what if i just write smth for myself #and it worked i think #no one will ever see it. thankfully #its. very embarrassing #<< huh thats a bad thought. since its something my oc also goes through thanks to self projection... #i should not think that about their feelings right. lets be a bit kinder to ourselves

[anotherhellchild]

📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life

oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.

also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.

This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk. 

ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer. 

also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth. 

and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.

oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.

But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.

Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?

but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview. 

Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.

he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.

generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop. 

so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.

It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.

Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it

But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)

#tw: abuse #tw: neglect #this is a very fanon idea btw #pls dont take anything too srsly #bakugu katsuki #ALSO THANK YOU ANON :)) #bakugou mitsuki #bakugu masaru #i coulda probably yeeted the 'katsuki gets kidnapped a lot' hc in there #honestly everybody should just check sifs stuff #her brain is too big #bakugou katsuki headcanons #bnha headcanons #im legitimately not sure if this even makes any sense #im sleepy so

[pinksparklelps]

Yknow whas funny?

This exact blog

Was started in like 7th grade when i was 13 or 14??

I started writing Corrupted Love back then and really loved watching yt vids of tumblr askblogs

I particularly liked the pinkamena one

So i decided to make my own

First ever url for this blog? Ask-the-cl-cast

Didnt get too far cuz i wasnt that popular and i posted only on wattpad cuz i like to use that but i do use ao3 sometimes now and am rewriting cl (which admittedly has not been updated for a bit cuz of some problems with school and life and such)

Met some people, got friends, name change, new blog url!

That was really fun to do

But things happened and i left for a bit to gather myself with icy

And now here i am with my ever so infamous name from 5th grade when i decided i wanted to be a famous youtuber, PinkSparkleLps!!

I feel like since then ive gone on this extreme ride of self-discovery and this ‘trial of life’ or smth like that

I have some really good and close friends, i have a lovely s/o and weve been together for so long, ive found new pronouns and identities i feel happy with, and just making stories because i want to

I know im allowed and perfectly justified to hate the people who hurt me. I can and will never forgive them. And thats ok. People can hurt you so much that you cant bear to think of them. Even if they do change, the most i can accept is an apology. But they dont deserve my forgiveness

I may still have depression and such and thatll never change but i can cope with it. I might never get over my social anxiety but i have friends im comfortable with. Im so lucky to be surrounded by supportive people and its really nice

For once, im happy im me

Im happy im Sparky

#positive vent #posi sparky