#since season 4 I've been on the struggle bus

[themultifandomgal]

Finn Cole- Red Carpet Interview

Finn and I exist our car together ready for our season 5 premiere and interviews. I smooth out my dress before taking Finns arm and we make our way down the carpet taking photos and doing interview

"Hi, how are you both this evening?" One of our interviewers asks

"We're good thank you, excited for tonight" I smile replying

"Watching the show it's about the Shelby family, but I get the impression you guys are actually a family off screen. You both seem to be with Harry a lot when your not filming"

"Yeah we're definitely a family, and I think we're lucky that we can say that" Finn says with a hand now around my waist

"Harry and I are the closest in age he's only like a year older than me so we have really grown up together from season 1. I always say that Harry is my annoying twin, Cillian is the dad, Paul the cool uncle, Sophie is my big sister and Jos like a brother to me"

"A real family then. I guess that makes filming so fun and easy for you guys?"

"Definitely. I can't imagine working on a set we're you haven't got these friendships" Finn replies

"I have to say in the last season we saw YCN toughen up a bit, will that continue throughout the next season?"

"For sure. We are going to see a lot of different things that YCN will struggle with which makes her really angry I guess and at times she will loose her cool"

We're then moved on to our next interview

"Hi how are you doing?" we're asked again

"We're well thank you"

"It's so lovely to see everyone coming out and dressing up. I've seen some people in period clothing"

"Oh wow I love that"

"That's brilliant. That's what we've, we've created a show we're people can get involved and can dress up and can enjoy it for the same reasons we can enjoy it and it's a really special thing in tv..." I see Natasha walk over to us smiling

"Oh hello" I smile interrupting Finn

"Hello" she smiles back

"Sorry babe carry on, I get distracted so easily" I tell the interviewer who laughs

"We we're just saying how nice it is to see everyone dressed up"

"Oh I love it, and the vibe, I wash just told that this is where they would stand to sign up for the war. And since the show focuses so heavily on PTSD it's really quite emotional" Nat says

"As actors what is it about Stevens writing that jumps out of that script when you first see it"

"Oh I only read my parts" I joke but don't last long because I start laughing "No I'm kidding. Erm for me it's how I'm kept at the edge of my seat. Like I can't ever predict what's going to happen"

"You can hear the music coming of the pages"

"It's one of those experiences reading something where it's so visual but every sentence is so exciting" I nods agreeing with Finn

"YN in season 4 we finally got to see YCN fall in love. Will that transpire into this season?"

"Yes. Unfortunately Jordan had brier engagements so wasn't able to film with us anymore so Daryl was casted and he's just slotted right in with all of us"

"What about Micheal. Will we get to see him fall in love this season?"

"Ah that you'll have to wait and see" Finn says making me chuckle because his answer basically was yes.

Move move on to another interview this time just Finn and I. This time it's an interviewer who has interviewed me since season 1

"It's good to see you both again"

"It's good to see you as well. How have you been?" I ask

"I really good thank you. You know I look back at my old interviews with you all and everyone looks practically the same, but then there's you and Harry who now look like actually adults" I laugh at her making the comment

"I know it's crazy. We filmed the pilot when I was 12 and now I'm 20 so it's crazy that nearly 10 years I've been with these guys"

"Well what is the dynamic like on set of a program of a drama like peaky blinders because it's very intense"

"Oh it's horrible" Finn jokes earning a nudge off me

"You know what's weird we would be doing a really intense scene but the moment we hear cut, we all burst out laughing" I say smiling "in season 4 I had to throw a drink at Lizzie but I only really had one chance so we did it over and over again with an empty cup. Then when we were ready we did it for real and I felt to bad. So as soon as we stopped filming I hugged her and kept apologising while Nat was just laughing the whole time"

Finn and I finish up with more interviews and some photos, watching the first episode of season 5 and then finally going to a little after party with all of the cast.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders reader #tommy shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #finn cole #finn cole x reader #michael grey imagines #michael gray

[vanillacreambunny]

Just writing out my thoughts.

My dad made a comment yesterday about how I need to talk to my doctor about disability at my next appointment because I can't go the next 5 years without an income.

It rubbed me the wrong way because I have been studying pretty much nonstop since I left my job so I can get A+ certified, and, hopefully, get a desk job in IT at some point.

I also don't know what's going on with me. It could be something minor and easily fixable. I'm not going to jump the gun. Also, why would I want to go 5 years without an income? It's been a couple months, and I hate it. I already feel guilty, and it sucks not making my own money.

I'm not going to go into my family history and dynamic, but my parents never made things easy, and maybe if they had taken me seriously years ago I wouldn't be here now. I'm doing my best to get better even though there are a lot of days I feel hopeless. I'm trying not to give up. Offline is very lonely and isolating, which doesn't help either.

I wish I could take Barnes and Noble up on their offer and apply for a seasonal position, but I know I would feel awful. I went to the zoo yesterday for 4 or so hours, and I did not feel well at all when I got back. Maybe they could accommodate me, but even if I could sit at the register all day, my hands would hurt and become so stiff I could hardly move them, and when I left in July they were pushing memberships down peoples' throats. I am not a salesperson, so this gave me a lot of anxiety; they even started to track and reprimand people who weren't selling enough. All for $11 an hour 😭 The walk to and from the bus was wearing on me too.

I keep thinking about commissions; the most expensive is $25 USD. It's not a stable income, but it would give me something every now and then. I'm kind of anxious to try because I've had these issues, and some days are better than others. I would try my best to get them done quickly, but I'm afraid I'd be too slow. I also think I should build up my portfolio since I don't have many examples yet. I do on my old blog, though I think my style has changed a bit since then. I was considering ych commissions to make it easier; in a simple shading style. I'm just really hesitant.

In the meantime, I keep looking for part-time remote jobs, but the jobs I find I think I can do either reject me or I never hear back 😔 The other day I even wished I could work at a coffee shop or something just to make money, but I'm just falling apart it seems.

I see my doctor on Wednesday, so I hope I can figure more out. I hate whining about this, but I actually have a lot of anxiety and guilt surrounding it. Some days I feel validated that my family can see certain changes. Other times I think I'm a baby and there's nothing actually wrong with me. I grew up adopting a tough guy persona because of my parents and the things I dealt with because of them. Losing that hurts too.

At the zoo yesterday I was trying to open a lemonade. I was struggling. My sister popped it open so easily. Of course, we joke about it, but it just sucks and worries me. What happened?!

If anyone actually reads my ramblings, thank you 🥺 I always go to write out my thoughts really quickly, and then type up multiple paragraphs lol. I love you and hope you have a wonderful day 💕

#i'll delete later #dear diary

[boltcuttersfetched-archive]

Naw man because Steve is such a good dad 😭😭 I love him with max and Dustin so much. Nothing makes my heart warmer then Steve being so supportive of Dustin and gentle with Max. Your fic is incredible. The scenes where Steve talks about Dustin being just born in the hospital and taking care of him makes me so <333 I’m excited to learn what went down, especially since someone died in a freaking elementary school?? I’m sure we’ll see everyone’s reactions but oh my gosh—Steve being there for Max through it all being patient and and Dustin being a good brother and comforting Max.

thank you so much!!! 🥺💞

writing him as a dad has been SO much fun 😭 it's what he deserves, it's canonically what he wants...it was just very unexpected and everything goes comically badly because even blorbos need to ride the struggle bus every now and then ❤️

we'll never see a flashback to EXACTLY what happened, because the story follows steve's point of view and he wasn't there. but you'll at least see the aftermath of the Incident and how she copes with it, and eventually the full picture will come into focus. but i wanted to make it clear VERY early that there was no CSA involved bc i think people's brains often jump to that when they hear that a kid, especially a girl, has trauma.

just like with CCD, i've done a lot of research on childhood ptsd. i also have some intimate experience with it, so i'm able to get into her head a little more easily than the average bear. which is why season 4 was so 😭 😭 😭 ugh i just wanted to scoop her up .

chapter 4 is in the works and things will become a little clearer there too! with lots of good family moments, and also some stuff with The Party bc they haven't been around much!!

#some cupids kill with dice #ask

[aotopmha]

Attack On Titan Chapter 124 Thoughts

Chapter 36, the focus chapter Sasha had, has for the longest time been labeled as a filler chapter, but I maintain that it's thematically probably one of the most important chapters of the story and I think this chapter only adds to this idea.

Attack on Titan has such a strong perspective and thematic core and I think that's what makes this chapter a really solid one instead of just a chapter to drag this story out or just set all the ducks in row for what's coming.

Even if Eren succumbs to the demon inside of him, as Nicolo puts it, and has to be killed to be stopped, there are characters that haven't succumbed to their demons yet.

The story provides at least some source of hope even in it’s most darkest moments and compared to many other stories that go for this kind of exploration of humanity, I actually think this is one of the more balanced ones when it comes to the hope and darkness in the story. Usually the finale for these kind of stories is covered in a thick layer of cynicism, with the real, more idealistic perspective and actual thematic point of the story coming out in a understated, but firm manner - From the New World and Devilman Crybaby come to mind the most to me when it comes to anime.

Cynical stories about humanity to me are stories that have no empathy for humanity and just tell you how horrible it is.

Even as Jean expresses his cynical viewpoint this chapter, it’s full of understanding on the meta level.

As he's been doing since moral ambiguity has taken the center stage, Jean simply tries to rationalize a very difficult situation. It’s not there to say that the rest of humanity deserves this or humanity is shitty and that’s that.

The story has a lot of empathy for Eren's situation as it should because the readers have been with Eren on this journey for a long time and are conflicted just as the characters are.

Some of this material might be redundant (and I think the anime could help out here once more), but to me it's still very effective.

Some of my favorite themes in stories are learning to see the world in a more complex light and fighting against all the negative within yourself and I'm pretty much eating all of this up not only because it's themes that I love, but also because I think they are handled a bit more complexly than usual.

These have been some of the most fundamental ideas of the story since the first chapter: it all started with the most basic idea of standing up and keeping up the fight despite the fear and loss someone experiences and we’re right back here at the end of the story.

As I said in my initial post and what I’d say is the second strongest part of this chapter to me overall behind Nicolo’s speech about having a demon within yourself and leaving the forest, is Gabi's character arc.

Eren has been the primary positive representation of this struggle of fighting your demons for a while, but now it's Gabi - she fights to return everyone she loves to Reiner (and her) and does so without throwing anyone else under the bus, while Eren is now the negative representation of that struggle.

Stories about struggling with the bad in yourself don't often have negative examples where people lose against their demons, either, that's why I find Eren so interesting, as well.

The story truly paints nobody or nothing at fault here but human nature and I think you don’t really see that often.

Maybe in some story there is some conspiracy going on with some organization or some individual orchestrating everything that is wrong with the world - see Gurren Lagann, Kill la Kill, Dragon Ball or most other Shounen stuff. I enjoy that stuff - a central antagonistic force that represents everything that the protagonist shouldn't be/is representitive of an opposing ideaology isn't even foreign to AoT - for a time it was the Colossal Titan and the other shifters, the nobles within the walls, then Zeke specifically, all the way circling back to Eren himself and it very much helps to give direction to a story.

AoT just claims the root of all evil isn't one specific antagonistic character or group, but the parts of human nature that might drive us to hurt others.

The shitty nobles of the walls and King Fritz? Instead of the story just telling you how horrible they are, it also says that it’s human nature to grow corrupt - Ymir Fritz got her Titan powers by pure coincidence and naturally, humans took advantage of it. The humanity outside the walls? They aren't just a evil hivemind, in fact most of them are innocent people and the element that causes the most problems is actually ignorance.

Desiring power, being scared and hurting others because of being scared and doing anything you possibly could to survive, even if it also involves hurting others - it’s all shown as something natural, but also something to overcome rather than a inherent, unchangeable part of humanity.

It’s not just “that’s how humanity just is and there’s nothing we can do about it”, it’s “that’s how humanity is, but we can do something about it”.

It's human to succumb to these instincts, but we can also be above them.

This chapter is called "Thaw" and majority of it is about barriers between people melting away - Gabi and Kaya, Shadis and the recruits, the 104th and Gabi and of course, even the barrier Annie is surrounded by melting away.

Eren's presence as an enemy seems to have caused everyone to at least temporarily try and put their differences aside for the sake of survival, so whether Eren planned this or not, on some level unity is being achieved because nobody wants to die. This situation is playing into humanity’s intrinsic desire to survive and strive. Eren’s message to the Eldians really might be something to facilitate at least a temporary truce among all the sides for everyone to survive and if the Eldians play a essential part in stopping this, their contribution would be impossible to ignore and therefore they should get something positive out of this.

I suppose how believable it would feel narratively is up to everyone individually, but I don’t feel like it’s all that naive if you frame it like that.

Looking at it myself, I think some people would fall back to rely on their worse instincts, but I also think some wouldn't - an overly cruel humanity is just as unrealistic as an overly kind one.

There's nothing much for me to say about Annie because the panel of her being out of her crystal says nothing, but her plot thread is now at least addressed.

Finally, some neat details are Armin once again taking action with the Manouver Gear as he did before to be consistent with some physical character growth we've seen of him and Connie taking away Falco to finally also address the plot thread with his mother - if it came ahead somehow, I think Connie finally having enough makes sense and was properly built up.

Nile ultimately had his character arc capped off in a fine way prior to this chapter, so what happened here worked for me.

Looks like Pixis actually didn't get eaten by a female Titan, but rather taken out by a character with the history of being mistaken for a girl, so there you go. Armin also ended his life with respect, which I think also works fine here.

It's also nice Shadis gets to have a little bit of a character development moment of acting instead of just remaining passive.

I think now the plot threads left to address are:

1) The Ackerman powers

2) Levi and Hange

3) Historia

4) Eren

5) Kiyomi

6) The Warhammer Titan

I think the story can do it just fine looking at the timetable with the announced season 4. Some of these don't need very elaborate explanations and can be combined with other stuff - like Connie's mother.

I expect Levi and Hange, Annie, Eren and Historia to all get separate chapters and the other stuff to get mixed in there.

I think it'd work out with 8-10 more chapters.

This chapter, though, was a solid set-up chapter with side character payoffs and closures here and there to me.

I think the story is definitely doing it's best to give closure to everything - Connie's mother and Annie have seemed to be dropped plot threads for many people for a while now, but the story brought them back and seems to wish to address them in some manner.

The story has already broken ground among mystery box stories for actually answering most of it's huge mysteries in time, but as I've gone into in a bunch of my chapter posts for some time now, if it satisfyingly sticks the final landing, even in however flawed way, I think it'll definitely be special just for that.

#Attack on Titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #AoT 124 #SnK 124 #Chapter 124 #AoT #SnK

[kazlifeadventures]

DC - represent!

4 Sep - 9 Sep

My first Amtrak trip was alright... I have learnt that you need to queue up quicker if you are seated in economy. If you are near the end of the line your choice of seat is limited. Not a bigge, but if your re lugging a suitcase its harder to jump between carriages. I kind of wish that you could reserve a seat, but then I guess the pay off is that you can cancel your ticket and get a refund veery easily... It was a comfy enough ride, and the people near me were nice, except for shushy lady who was annoying "Yes lady I know I'm in the quiet carriage, it doesn't say you can't speak at all 😂😂".

Anyway I arrived, worked out that I would need a cab or Uber to get me to my friend Laura's apartment. Hot tip for Uber in a foreign country - its always easier to walk away from a busy area like the train station pick up rank, and head along the route you are looking to take and find a good pick up spot - I've done it a few times now and it works a treat! It must have been fate as it saw me arrive at the same time as Laura. Gold! We spent some time catching up, headed out to her favourite local middle eastern bar and saw a little of her local area in Adams Morgan.

Washington DC is an area bordering the states of Maryland and Virginia, it was founded after the American revolution in order for it to be separate from the other states in America, designed to ensure that no one state could claim to hold the seat of government/power, a sort of leveller so to speak. At present there are over 7million people who call the greater DC area home.

Washington was really hot on the day I arrived, the next day was a little better and I headed out on the public transport system to find the big drawcards, the national monuments. It seems a lot of work happens during summer as there was work going on at the Roosevelt and national monuments, seeing them closed off from access. The national mall area was a surprise, such a lovely park area dotted with art installations and fountains. I started there, and ended up just wandering everywhere. Luckily all the big things are in one huge area! I really loved the WW2 memorial. It was only opened in 2004 and to me, is a beautiful, poignant, thoughtful and incredibly well done. Water seems to be a great medium to use to create a peaceful and beautiful monument. The Lincoln memorial was as you see in the movies, and incredibly busy with tourists. I was surprised at the White House and how far away the public was held. Apparently there is some work occurring so they are corralled further than normal. It's hard to describe the whole monuments area easily. They all have their own meanings, yet work well together in highlighting how important DC is as the seat of power for the country.

Thursday night saw us head out to meet Laura's partner, Ross at the oldest bar/restaurant in DC, Ebbett grill. It's located just across the street from the White house, and as touristy as it is it has an interesting history including laying claim to being the place the term 'lobbyist' was created. The atmosphere and decor were spot on, the food amazing and the bar tender one of the best I've ever seen. They then took me to a nearby (Next door, across the street), rooftop bar, POV, with amazing views across the monuments and the White house. The "Obama can" cocktail was a hit for us and our new friends from California!

The amount of museums that they have everywhere is incredible, you could pend a week alone just visiting them. Most of them are all free to enter, and even the buildings and gardens are beautiful!

Day 2 Friday saw me head out to visit at least a few of the museums. The international spy museum was one of the few that you pay to enter, and it was interesting and interactive fun. There was a group of teenagers on a school visit or something that made it difficult to get into the interactive testing displays. But it was a fun couple of hours and seeing some of the old spy gadgets and the interviews with past operatives and stories etc was fun. The new African American cultural museum was stunning. The displays were set out in a fabulous format, detailing the historic struggles, horror and successes across the spectrum of African American history. The displays on music culture were amazing and gave an excellent insight into the impact they have had across music and the arts over time.

Friday night saw me as Lauras plus one to a fundraising event that one of her friends had organised as a fundraiser raising money for triple negative breast cancer. It was the who’s who of Washingtonian money, assembling at the Four seasons in a George Town. Somehow I managed to end up chatting to Mrs District of Columbia - a very statuesque mum of one, who was there to support the cause with Miss District of Columbia (yes, they have one of each!) anyway, she offered me her crown to try on (Aussie charm wins again) those things are heavy!! Suffice to say, my journey to realising my true royal potential has reached new heights! Interesting to note we were the onky two people who were given the crown to try on...😉

Next day Laura and I headed out to a local cafe to meet one of Laura's best friends. The cafe culture here is something else with great food, good coffee and some added attractions like a black sesame coffee.. After Laura made a quick call to 911 to report something we'd witnessed nesr the cafe. We then headed off to a local street festival celebrating the opening of a new space "la cosheras". Live Latin music, food, sunshine, cocktails - fun done right! What a day. A whole new side of Washington to experience! I think I'm very lucky as I seem to be getting it all!

Sunday was my last day here.. after yet another yummy breakfast from a nearby cafe, Laura and her partner came and picked me up for an afternoon at the (since 1994) oldest drag queen brunch in Washington. What fun! Those ladies were fierce, beautiful and very talented!! Then it was a quick stroll through Adams Morgan festival that was (conveniently!) Happening that day, with bands, stalls, hand made goods and people everywhere! I then headed back to Laura's place to pack my bag ready for my bus adventure to Blacksburg, Virginia the following day...

Bye Laura, and bye Washington. I have had the best time!! Sad face now!😪