Finding little bits and pieces I can start writing and idk when I'll be done with it since I got A Lot Happening but this character started talking randomly today and who am I to ignore him?
From "Trials & Tribulations," Everett Shepard's pre-ME1 story
Finding time for yourself was virtually impossible on a ship that crewed nearly 300 people. Despite a plethora of decks, messes, lounges, and quarters divided up amongst the different command chains, there was always someone somewhereeven when they probably weren’t supposed to be.
Exhibit A: fighter pilot Jordan Keens, sneaking into the officers’ mess after hours.
Exhibit B: unknown white boy in an oversized hoodie already in the mess hall, eating what appeared to be some honest to god chocolate chip cookies while he read a data pad.
And not the shitty air sealed ones Dario ordered last time.
Jordan narrowed his eyes at the same time his stomach gave an audible rumble. Either it was louder than he thought or the guy had amazing hearing, because his head jerked up a split-second later.
“Uh.”
Gray eyes seemed to pin him to the spot, an intensity in that gaze that made Jordan hyper aware of himself in a way that bordered on uncomfortable. It eased as the scrutiny did, however, and he exhaled slowly.
“Sorry,” he went on, flashing the stranger a lopsided grin. “Usually no one’s here, uh. I’m um. I’m Jordan Keens — Flight-Second Jordan Keens, with Torrent Squadron.”
He inwardly cursed at how jumbled his words were getting, but it was kind of the other guy’s fault for not wearing any uniform with clear rank markings. Jordan may have shown up in his varren slippers, but the rest of his uniform was technically appropriate.
“Lieutenant Commander Everett Shepard,” the stranger replied. The words didn’t come easily from his lips, almost as if he wanted to hold them back. Jordan didn’t think much of it, too busy flashing a hasty salute the moment he heard “commander,” brain trying to remember why the rest of it sounded familiar, too. He wasn’t part of the regular Tokyocrew; maybe he was the newcomer Merrick had mentioned earlier?
Jordan was now keenly aware of his slippers, especially as the Commander finally glanced down and took note of them.
A small smile tugged at the man’s lips, his guard slipping ever so slightly before he smoothed his expression back to neutral.
“At ease,” he murmured. “Wasn’t expecting anyone, either, if I’m honest.” His gaze flicked down to the plate of cookies before him before glancing back at Jordan, and Jordan could sense his hesitation even as he added, "did you… would you like some?"
"Cookies?"
"They're fresh-baked."
Sold.
"Don't mind if I do!" Jordan knew he needed an actual snack, but a lifelong sweet-tooth skewed his priorities at the best of times and he'd been standing there long enough to pick up on the faint scent in the air that all but confirmed the guy was telling the truth -- these were fresh, still warm to the touch as he scooped one up, chocolate going deliciously gooey in his mouth at that first bite.
"Oh mah gahd…" A hand over his mouth saved some of his dignity, though he caught the return of the small smile on the Commander's lips when he opened his eyes again. He swallowed, flashing him a wide grin of his own. "These are so good -- er. Sir."
"Thank you."
Jordan blinked, taking a moment to piece it together. A glance around the mess confirmed that they were alone, and if these were fresh, and the Commander seemed pleased that he liked them…
"…wait. You made these?"
A faint flush rose in Shepard's cheeks. "I did."
"Holy crap like -- holy crap!" He looked towards the kitchenette, spotting honest to god sugar, mixing bowls… "You made these from scratch!"
"Um. Was that a question or a statement?"
"On a ship! Who bakes on a ship?"
"Not every meal is from a box…"
"Well okay, sure, we get some good stuff every now and then as a treat but like! Not actual treats! Hey, what division are you with? I don't think I know you."
It occurred to Jordan as his mouth went off a mile a minute that he was being pretty forward, if not blatantly familiar, with a superior officer. But Shepard didn't seem to mind, another twitch of that smile tugging at the corners of his lips, and that steely gaze he'd greeted him with had eased into something almost…
Kind. Maybe even a little shy.
"Marine detail," he replied.
"Ah, damn."
An eyebrow cocked, and Jordan hurried to explain, "Was kinda hopin' you were with the flight crew."
"Oh." A pause. "Why?"
"Because if there's gonna be some crazy talented baker just hanging out on the ship, I want dibs on that friendship, y'know?"
Jordan's smile was back, and he waggled his eyebrows for good measure to assure the other man that he was joking -- mostly.
"We can't be friends if we're not in the same division?" Both eyebrows were raised now.
"Welllll sure, but Marines, y'know?" Jordan wrinkled his nose for added effect.
"Traditionally assholes, sure," Shepard replied without missing a beat. He met Jordan's eye and this time the smile did more than twitch, and the next thing he knew they were laughing. Shepard gave the plate a nudge towards the center of the table, an open invitation for Jordan to take as many as he liked. The young pilot wasted no time helping himself to another.
"But all jokes aside, these are so good -- Shepard, was it?" The Commander nodded. "And I'm not just sayin' that 'cause I usually eat that cardboard crap the mess sergeant gets us from time to time. My grandma's the best baker I've ever known, so trust me when I say I know what I'm talking about."
"Can't argue against grandma's baking," Shepard agreed easily enough. He snagged a cookie for himself, Jordan only belatedly realizing he'd already worked through three while Shepard had just finished his first, and he watched as the Commander's fingers delicately broke that one in half.
He has really nice hands, he thought, unbidden, and shook his head. He rested his elbows on the table, cradling his chin in his hands as he observed the other man a moment. He didn't seem much older than Jordan himself -- somewhere in his early to mid-twenties, maybe? Pale-skinned, hints of freckles along a strong nose, with dark, reddish-brown hair that seemed to want to curl at the ends but couldn't thanks to how short it was cut. He looked familiar, but Jordan couldn't quite place him.
"So you new to the Tokyo?"
"I am."
"Hmm…"
Shepard's eyes met his briefly before looking down again as he carefully took another bite of his cookie. He shifted a little in his seat and Jordan shook himself again.
"Sorry, I'm staring, aren't I? I just feel like… Maybe I've seen you somewhere before?"
"…possibly."
The atmosphere seemed to change then, a subtle shift from something approaching friendly banter to something more…reserved. Closed off. Shepard's lips were flattened into a thin line, and there was a tension creeping over him as Jordan watched.
Okay, stumbled on a bad tack. Jordan was just opening his mouth to redirect the conversation back to more comfortable waters when Shepard got to his feet.
Fuck, he's tall. Probably a good head taller than Jordan was, at least.
"You, um. You can have the rest of these."
"I --"
"Good night, Flight-Second."
"…good night…" Jordan blinked after him, bemused, until Shepard had slipped out of the door opposite and out of sight.
It was only then that Jordan remembered he should've saluted, but then... Shepard hadn't seemed to expect him to.
What an odd duck.
He looked down at the plate of cookies and shrugged, helping himself to another before going to search for a bag to keep them in.
I was tagged by @baejax-the-great to do a combo tag meme. Thank you :) Here go all of the things!
Share your wallpaper:
I rarely remember to swap out backgrounds so my gaming PC is currently a screenshot from AC Valhalla from at least a year ago.
The last song you listened to: Tori Amos - Precious Things was on when I got out of the car yesterday
Currently Reading: Nothing at the moment but last week I finished If We Were Villains and The Ocean at the End of the Lane. Haven't decided what to read next yet
Last Movie: Good question...honestly, no idea, it's been that long.
Craving: Fried rice
What are you wearing right now: Green shorts and my "Have You Thanked a Horseshoe Crab Today?" tshirt (I thanked one yesterday at work)
How tall are you: 5'2" on a good day but one of my sisters tells me that might be optimistic. Over 5' for sure though.
Piercings: Just one hole in each ear lobe. Very boring.
Tattoos: Nope
Glasses? Contacts?: Contacts, I'm blind as a bat and now the struggles with reading things up close have also started in the last 6 months. Yay being over 40.
Last drink: I grabbed some bottled coffee at the store earlier
Last show: I was watching old episodes of Kindred Spirits while sewing a few weeks ago. Other than that is been local news, sports or maybe an episode of MASH
Last thing you ate: Big Chewy Nerds Jellybeans. They're jellybeans coated in nerds. I'm an adult who makes good adult decisions.
Favourite colour: I gravitate towards blue things but also not too picky.
Current obsession: I just started a MELE run. Still on ME1, we'll see if I make it through all three games. Fun fact: I bought MELE right when it came out and because of my shoulder problem that started also immediately after, have yet to ever make it through even one of the games. I made a dude shep who doesn't look like a total potato, going for an mshenko run.
Unrelated Obsession: I've been on a reading kick. Most of it's nothing earth shattering but I've put more new words in front of my eyeballs since Christmas than I probably have in the last 5 years combined.
Any pets: Mr. Bubbles (black) and Miss Skeeter (tabby)
Do you have a crush on anyone: I mean, I guess the hubs but I don't really think of him in those terms at this point.
Favourite fictional character: You can't made me choose. You could slap a large number of DA or ME characters here, maybe some Austen characters, LOTR ones, any of my OCs...
The last place you traveled: Just got back from a Caribbean cruise a couple of weeks ago.
Tagging @ejunkiet @evilbunnyking @agentnatesewell and @bronzeagelove but only if you want of course.
nexusmods allows mods that make gay characters straight though. there was a whole Thing with a dragon age character who is canonically gay whose whole quest involves him being gay, and someone made a mod that made him straight, and nexusmods said there was nothing wrong with it. granted, this was back around the time the game came out and idk if they went back on that and I don't want to check the cunt's profile page to check if it's still up.
Yeah, changing a character's race or orientation is a messy subject. Especially since it's happened officially too, like when they translated earlier Persona games for western audiences, and suddenly only one of the playable characters is still Asian..
And then you get instances in comics, where you have a character rebooted into something else, or another person takes up the mantle, like with Nick Fury, Thor or Spider-Man. Are they only allowed to be white, straight men forever, because that's how they began?
My stance on this is that it should be forbidden (from modding) if it's an intrinsic part of the character's identity. Neither race nor sexuality were vital parts of any of these characters; being a badass super spy, worthy to wield Mjolinir and to help people while cracking jokes at bad guys are what makes them, them. Not their gender or skin color.
I'd also take into account limits of the time a game was made, both social and technological. There are characters in, say, Mass Effect, you could not have a relationship with in older games that were enabled in later titles, such as being male and hooking up with Kaidan in ME1. So if you changed him to bisexual in the original, that would not conflict with how he is, based on the third.
Basically, if you're going to expand options, that's a much safer bet than limiting or flipping them, while instances of cutting off the branches needs to be looked at and handled very carefully; both in respect to a game's story, and also so as not to offend the players who enjoy it. But if who they are interested in is a part of what defines that character, it should not change, period. I am probably wording this poorly, as I keep going over this part of my post, but I hope I am making my point.
Finally, a minor exception if it's super silly and doesn't concern actual real world issues or people. Say, if you made a mod that turns everyone in Skyrim into a Khajit; which I thought up as a hypothetical, but of course someone already made this!
Part of my latest Mass Effect endeavor that will see the light of day sometime…
Featuring an alternative timeline from my previous work, “Broken Road,” this story features Kaidan Alenko and Kora Reese (my OC). Establishing their relationship in ME1 and following it throughout the events of the trilogy until the conclusion of ME3. I plan to deviate here and there from the BioWare cannon and deal with what ifs I always thought might be interesting to explore.
[only proofread once—all mistakes are mine]
~ ~ ~
She nodded as she began walked towards one of the terminals near the bank of sleeper pods. “I know some people because of my work on the project that brought the Normandy to life so to speak. I thought I could tap them and get things moving quicker. I’m pretty sure Shepard is going to want to leave ASAP.”
“Uh, yeah. Actually he does,” the L2 noted as he followed her over to the terminal. “That’s kinda why I’m here. He wanted to know why you volunteered since you aren’t in requisitions. You have other duties.”
“Which had already been completed,” Reese replied as she punched up a comm line. “Anderson ordered the Normandy to be flight ready as soon as the meeting with Udina about the evidence was over. I completed my duties and some tweaks to the ship’s systems while you and the others were in the meeting with the Council.”
“I think that was not communicated to the Commander,” Alenko said as he watched a Turian appear on the screen.
Reese ignored his comment as she made her request and explained the situation to the alien. After less than three minutes, she had a green light for the needed supplies to be delivered to the Normandy within the hour. Thanking him, the Lt. closed the comm channel and turned back to Kaidan. “I informed Pressley. It should have been his job to inform the Commander and Captain of the status of the Normandy. As for my volunteering, maybe I should have said why but I thought that the fact I was helping was good enough for the moment.”
“Maybe,” Alenko said. “But Shepard is under an enormous amount of pressure right now and all he wants is for his ducks to be in a row. For him, that means knowing that someone who is doing something outside of their assigned duties actually knows what they are doing.”
She crossed her arms as she tilted her head. “And I suppose this little duck isn’t in its assigned row even though I just made Stephens’ job ten times easier.”
Kaidan shrugged. “Something like that.”
“So why send you?”
“Because he thinks you get along better with me than other crew members,” the Canadian marine noted with a smirk.
She made a face. “I suppose I do but I don’t need a handler.”
“How about a crew mate who has your back?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t had one in a while…I don’t play well with others. Remember?”
“Joker seems to like you. I think he mentioned you were trouble earlier.”
“And you believe him?”
Kaidan shrugged again. “I’m still feeling out the crew.”
“So what do you think of me then?”
“I think you work well alone. I think you’ve done it too long though and you are a guarded person. I think Anderson put you here for a reason and that’s the same reason he wanted you to stay even though he’s leaving.”
“Very insightful except for the part where you tell me the exact reason I’m so guarded.”
“I don’t know that yet. Maybe one day you’ll tell me. Maybe you won’t. But Anderson knows. So its got to be something big. I mean he wouldn’t try talking you into staying if it wasn’t right?”
“Who said he tried talking me into staying?”
“Come on, Reese. You’ve served on ships and in the Alliance almost as long as I have. You know how scuttlebutt works. So why did you stay? Because he asked you to or because of something else?”
“Both.”
“Both?”
“Both.”
“That’s all I’m gonna get out of you isn’t it, Lt.?”
“Yep…at least for now,” Reese replied with a smirk.
Alenko grinned. “Then I guess I have something to look forward to later.”
I wrote about Dragon Age Origins, which I first played 10 years ago, and how the game was and still is important to who I am and how I play games.
10 years ago today I played Dragon Age Origins for the first time. I only got a PS3 a month earlier and had played Brothers, Uncharted 3 (it came with the system), and Skyrim. Before that my gaming was limited to Wii games, Kingdom Hearts, the LEGO games, and whatever I could get to run on my white Macbook (Assassin’s Creed 2 with a terrible framerate). I don’t know how I heard about Dragon Age. I vaguely remember knowing that Mass Effect was good and this was like that, but fantasy!
My first playthrough was a disaster. This was my first RPG of this type and I didn’t know the conventions. I played a Dalish elf because hey elves are cool and these ones live in the forest! I missed recruiting Leliana because I didn’t go into the tavern in Lothering. I never really talked to anyone, so eventually Zevran betrayed me and I had to kill him. Alistair was the lone exception. I got him to like me (mostly by giving him every gift in the game) and I romanced him. Then I got to the Archdemon fight and… the game froze. I reloaded, and it froze again. And again, but in different places each time. Eventually I gave up. I’d basically made it to the end, right? Close enough.
I put it aside and played Mass Effect 1. I enjoyed it (it’s still my favourite Mass Effect game), but the whole time I felt an itch. I was reading about Origins online and learning about everything I’d missed. As soon as I finished ME1, I started Origins again, with the same character, the DLC downloaded, and the wiki open. It was so much better. I became friends with everyone, did their personal quests, did a bunch of side stuff, and the world opened up.
I’m one of those people who play games over and over again and make the same exact choices with the same character. Origins has six distinct character backgrounds and openings. I’ve played all six. I’ve finished a complete playthrough with two characters: Dalish elf and human noble (which I only did to get the “marry Alistair” ending. It was… fine). However, there are two big changes I’ve made since that first playthrough, and they’re related. The first is the Landsmeet. My first few times I kept Alistair as a Warden because that’s what he wanted. Then I grew to dislike Anora and made Alistair King with me as his mistress. Finally, I came back around on Anora (she’s great) and I’ve settled on having Alistair and Anora married. Once I was still Alistair’s mistress while they were married, but that changed when I made another big decision: I started romancing Leliana.
I’d always liked her, and as I began to question my sexuality, this was the natural place to try it out. Lo and behold, I adore her. I loved Alistair when I first played, but eventually his romance became grating. Now I am all in on my precious bard. Her comments about the Warden in Inquisition are so sweet and I’m so sorry that I have to make Divine so the two of you don’t get to retire together but you’re the Divine Thedas needs.
It’s hard to estimate the impact Dragon Age as a franchise has had on my life. This was the first thing I ever wrote fanfic for (although I haven’t posted any of it). Although I had been obsessed with the franchise-that-must-not-be-named when I was younger, this was my first adult iteration of it. I read the novels, the comics, watched the web series, combed the wiki, and absorbed anything and everything I could about the world. Even now, waiting for Dreadwolf, I consume everything Bioware releases and over-analyze it for clues. Dragon Age has shaped my life and who I am over the past decade and will continue to do so.
Dragon Age Origins is a great game. I know many people consider it the best Dragon Age game, and I can understand why. For me, however, it was Dragon Age 2 that cemented my obsession with this series and which vies with Persona 5 Royal for my favourite game of all time. But that’s a post for January 5.
Another important reason for Miles to romance Kaidan is that there is a part of him that feels lowkey threatened by Kaidan's competence.
Kaidan isn't exactly not a highly skilled swiss army knife in me1 but Miles still edges ahead of him noticeably, and it's like less so in me3 and Miles feels like he needs to show Kaidan up for absurd self-esteem reasons.
Not out of any dislike for Kaidan, and there's no real sense of rivalry there, Miles just feels like he has to come across as super good and special and he has to work harder at that with Kaidan on more even ground with him.
(Technically above since he outranks him. He's not like this with any other squadmate in me2, and as good as everyone is no one else really competes with him in 3 to this degree. It's just Kaidan, in part because Kaidan has such a similar skillset, and also largely because Kaidan's newfound confidence and rank and capabilities really sinks in the knife of Miles' lost time. Kaidan doing so well for himself makes him proud, but also makes him feel...pointless. Kaidan's almost like a whole new man (To Miles' rose-tinted POV, that's overstating it a bit), and Miles both missed it and had nothing to do with it.)
Eventually he is forced to learn he's being ridiculous and he and Kaidan stand more side by side, like they kind of did in me1 to be frank. (Liara remains their brittle crowd controller)
(Goes without saying Miles is also massively massively turned on by Kaidan's new persona and grey hairs and how he carries himself and that attempting to reassert his position as the specialist person around is also in part dealing with that. And there's also a level of "Kaidan will not like me anymore/won't like me again if I don't impress him", should've mentioned that earlier it's pretty massive. He feels that way with everyone always but with Kaidan especially. Like it certainly was part of their dynamic in me1, but it's very far from the reason they became close friends.)
(this has been in my drafts since 2020. It’s def not complete. I think I forgot about it. Thought some followers might appreciate it so I’m posting lol!)
5th April - 10th April
5th April:
1. Joker: 'Call me paranoid'
Kaidan: 'you're paranoid'
2. Joker: 'The captain always sounds like that.
Kaidan: 'Only when he's talking to you, Joker.'
3. My brother didn't realise Kaidan and Joker's 'co-pilot' were the same person because he only reads subtitles if there's noise outside or a sudden music spike. Apparently he doesn’t get the heeby jeebs from any form of eye contact.
4. Jenkins will never be able to survive.
5. Me thinking there's still another geth drone and having to be reminded to check on Jenkins.
That was embarrassing.
6. I remembered how to aim, how to shoot, how to crouch (surprising; I haven't touched an xbox controller since very early Jan - like 3rd day - 2016). Forgot how to sprint. Forgot how to throw a grenade. That’s fine.
Did forget to outfit Kaidan until I got Ashley. I am so sorry biotic husbando
7. Was not looking forward to the first husks you come across. Was going to use my spectre shotgun. Used my HMWA X instead because awesome. Didn’t need shot gun. Also not as uefiushd as I remember.
8. Next point you come across husks after Saren kills Nilhus. Before speaking to farmer Cole. Went to use my sniper rifle (because somehow I got the 150 kills with all weapons apart from the sniper. Which is weird. Because I never use pistols). Couldn't find the husks so Ashley and Kaidan beat me to it.
9. Missed a husk so Ashley and Kaidan murdered it whilst i was heading for Cole's House. Didn't even realise there was a husk.
10. Got stuck near the edge of the map. Had to reload from my last save (which was before speaking to the research peoples, after the first husks).
11. Got to the second husk moment again. Used my sniper. Took them all out. Myself. Yes. Even the Geth.
12. Heard a husk that I thought was the fire for some reason. Look at my map, red triangle, turn AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DIE YOU LED LIT BELLY BUTTON. Husk died from surprised HMWA X. I think.
13. Had to speak to Cole all over again. Didn’t search for illusive loot because I didn’t want to get stuck. Again.
14. Kaidan got stuck behind the farmers. I called him a lemon. It’s always the ones I romance that get in these situations.
What a lemon
15. snipered the geth on the way to the train. I was wry surprised with my Aim. I have very bad aim typically but this was like... three headshots in a row.
16. Kaidan ALWAYS TRYING TO TAKE MY COVER Alenko
Look, I don't mind him being next to me. But when the cover is a rock, connected to a cliff, and you can only peer from the side, I'm the one who has to move because I'm polite.
17. Also Kaidan and Ashley got in my way three times when trying to loot a crate. Rude.
18. Dealing with the charges and letting the others deal with the Geth because I don’t care that I have five minutes. Anxiety = real with time limits.
19. Charging into the final set of husks like a mad woman because I know my HMWA is going to kick their ass before they have a chance.
20. 'you have 138 in your inventory and are getting close to the 150 limit' thank you for telling me that nowhere on the equipment tab what I have in my inventory. But right now I don’t have my other party members do please, for the love of all thing's omni-gel and credits, let my get my other friends so I can just... you know... give them my inventory.
21. Arhg rarhg arhg
22. Big place.
23. The council. believing Saren when he's... you know... half cybernetic and tubes.
24. Politicians.
25. Jamaican Elcor in the embassy.
26. Kaidan 'I like that fountain. Very soothing.' Alenko
27. Forgot to mention this earlier, but everything feels very very slow in comparison to Inquisition. I wanted to jump all the time. Also much prefer the wheels of dialogue: they aren't sensitive.
28. Also remembered lb and rb are L1 and R1. Donvt like zooming in or out on the map - I Jsut want to hold down the buttons not press them. over and over again.
6th April:
1. Get my crew. All. Those. Side. Quests.
2. Shepard: We have oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love. According to the old vids we have everything they want.
Kaidan: When you put it that way, there’s no reason why they wouldn't like you. I mean us. Humans. Ma'am.
Ashley: you don't get much shore leave do you?
Shepard: Alright, laugh it up Chief. I appreciate the thought, Alenko, but we're on duty here.
Kaidan: uh... aye aye... ma'am.
3. Becomes a spectre Suddenly news channels want you to investigate everything.
4. Ashley: *comments on humans in Chora's Den, participating or being a patron* I don't know whether to be happy or sad.
Kaidan: Maybe they're here for the food.
5. Kaidan: I can see why people like this place It has, uh, quite the view. Ashley: I'd put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it.
6. Forgot how to put my weapon away. It was B.
7th April
1. Finish up citadel sidequests.
2. Scans all 21 keepers, does Jaeheed’s mission. Gets asked to scan them even though I have.
8th April
1. Therum. Remembered which buttons were the Mako’s weapons.
2. Armatures = deaded.
3. Nearly drove into lava.
4. *humming innocently* *crashes* Hold on, I’m rusty.
5. Single Geth getting shot with a turret = what comes up, must come down.
7, Uses lift with gun out. Faces wrong way.
8. Once again, kills get taken out before I even get to the enemies.
9. Uses Prothean lift with weapon out. Can move in a circle.
10. Liara ‘ooff’ T’soni, rescued.
11. Kaidan *laughs* Yeah I,uh, I read a lot of those books when I was kid, where a hero goes to space to prove himself worthy of a woman he loves, or... you know For justice.
12. Kaidan: There was this girl - Rhana. She was from Turkey, her family was very rich. But she was smart and charming as hell. Beautiful, but not stuck up about it. Like you, I guess. Ma’am.
13. Kaidan: You, uh... make a habit of getting this personal with everyone?
Shepard: No. No, I don’t. We’ll talk again later.
Kaidan: I’ll, uh, I’ll need some time to process that, Commander. But... yeah... I’d like that.
14. Kaidan: Doctor T’soni? She seems nice enough, if you like the bookish sort.
Shepard: Any intentions there lieutenant?
Kaidan: None, Commander. I prefer more... adventurous women.
15. Ashley ‘it’s not racism’ Williams.
16. Garrus ‘I... I’ll think on it’ Vakarian.
17. Urdnot ‘I would have told you if I though it was important’ Wrex.
18. Tali ‘how do you sleep in this silence’ Zorra Nah Rayya.
19. Liara ‘prothean nerd’ T’Soni.
Mass Effect Relationships Week Day 3: Missed Opportunities
The second I saw this one, I knew I had to fill it with the what-if of Gabe not being KIA pre-trilogy so Lisa actually gets to a) keep her surrogate brother and b) introduce him to Kaidan. This is immediately post-ME1, and for people unfamiliar with Lisa, she didn’t sleep with Kaidan before Ilos, even though she really, really likes him, so they’re still figuring out Them as a Couple(?). Fun time to meet the family :D
------
Lisa paced back and forth along a small section of the cafe’s outdoor seating, never far from their table, and picked at the edge of the bandage around her left arm.
“Shepard, if you peel that off, it’s gonna scar,” Kaidan reminded her for the fifth time in two days, barely looking up from the menu.
“Scars are badass,” she countered with a smirk. “And I-”
But the rest of her comeback was aborted when she spotted an approaching figure and hopped the patio railing with a whoop to charge toward him.
Fortunately Gabe saw her coming, so her enthusiastic tackle-hug didn’t send them tumbling into Citadel foot traffic. He laughed as he hugged her back, hard enough some of her bruises complained(she ignored them). “Hey Lise! Long time no see.”
Lisa’s only reply was a happy grunt, muffled against the side of his neck as she held tight. It had been pure chance after the battle she’d noticed one of the Alliance ships that went against Sovereign was his, and she was still relieved she hadn’t lost him without even knowing he was there.
When they finally let go, Gabe caught her injured wrist in a loose grip and shot her a significant look. “What have you been doing with yourself, Lisa?”
Lisa snorted and gestured at the damaged Citadel around them. “Playing the hero, of course.”
He shook his head with a wry laugh. “Of course. You never could help yourself.”
She snorted and lightly poked the scars that cut through his eyebrow and across the bridge of his nose. “You’re one to fucking talk, Palléon.”
“Language, Lisa Anne,” Gabe chided with exaggerated affront. He slung an arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, didn’t you have crew you wanted me to meet...?”
“Oh, yeah. That,” Lisa drawled, shifting his arm so it wasn’t resting on the glass cuts peppering the back of her neck. “Turns out only Alenko could make it, so he’ll have to do for now.”
She left off he was the one she most wanted Gabe to meet, but from the look she got, he at least suspected. “Mm-hm.”
“Behave, Gabriel.” She wasn’t sure if it was a warning or a request, but it set mischief dancing in his dark grey eyes either way.
“Yes, ma’am, Commander Shepard, ma’am,” he teased.
Lisa rolled her eyes and tugged him toward the cafe entrance. “Y’know, for bein’ like my big brother, you sure can be a little shit sometimes.”
“That’s my job,” Gabe said cheerfully.
She lightly bopped the back of his head. “Please, Gabe.” This is important to me.
Something in her tone made him sober and he nodded as they stepped on to the cafe patio, letting his arm drop from around her shoulders. “Sure, Lise.”
“Thanks.” She was grinning as they closed distance to the table she and Kaidan had staked out. Kaidan pushed to his feet just as they got there and Lisa took half a step back to not be in the way as she made introductions. “Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Major Gabriel Palléon.” (Why were her palms sweaty?) “Gabe, this is Kaidan.”
Gabe held out a hand to shake. “Good to meet you.”
“Pleasure’s all mine, sir,” Kaidan said, smile warm but posture military-stiff as he shook Gabe’s hand and Lisa bit back a giggle. Bless him for wanting to make a good impression. (It was cute. When did she start thinking things were cute?!) “L-Shepard’s talked about you quite a bit.”
“Likewise,” Gabe laughed. “But we can save the formality for on-duty, huh? Gabe’s fine.”
Kaidan chuckled as the three of them sat. “Fair enough. Though since Shepard and I serve together, I’ll probably stick to it with her.”
There was also the--probably vain--hope a semblance of formality would help mask whatever was between them until they sorted it out themselves. Which would hopefully be soon. She’d promised they could figure it out later, and she’d never made a promise she wanted to keep more. But for now, better to focus on the fact Kaidan was getting to meet the closest thing to family she had left in the galaxy. She wanted (needed) them to hit it off.
“So I hear you’ve been largely responsible for keeping Lisa alive the past several months,” Gabe said, taking the menu she nudged him with a nod of thanks. “She hasn’t been able to mention all the details, but that one’s come up a few times.”
“Oh, she’s plenty good at keeping herself alive,” Kaidan demurred with a small smile. “I just tag along to watch her back. In case she needs me.”
Lisa snorted and shook her head. “He’s bein’ modest,” she informed Gabe as she nudge Kaidan’s shoulder. “If it wasn’t all classified to hell and back, I could spend at least an hour filling you in on all the ways he’s saved my neck. And he brews the best damn pot of coffee--sorry, Gabe--I’ve ever had in my life, which has saved everyone from me on more than one occasion.”
“Better than mine?” Gabe asked in a faux-injured tone, but she could see the corners of his mouth twitching and almost kicked him under the table.
The only reason she didn’t was the server showing up to take their orders.
After they’d finished and the server headed off, Gabe sighed dramatically. “At least I know she’s in good hands.”
Kaidan chuckled, rubbed the back of his neck. “I do my best.”
“So, Gabe,” Lisa interjected, “one thing I’m dying to know; your unit’s always been out toward the edges of Council space, lots of groundside assignments. What the hell were you doing on a ship so close to the Citadel, anyway?”
Gabe shrugged apologetically and shook his head. “Sorry, Lise. Classified.”
She waved it off. It had only been 50-50 odds he could tell her anyway. “S’alright, I know the drill. What’ve you been up to that you can talk about?”
He pursed his lips in thought. “Supervised a couple clean up ops, but the last few months have been mostly ferreting out a pirate cabal that started getting a little bolder around some of our colonies and outposts than Command’s comfortable with. But I don’t want to waste time talkin’ about work.”
Lisa arched a brow. She had a sneaking suspicion she could guess the... membership composition of this cabal if he was changing the subject so quickly. But she let him get away with it. “Okay, but work’s almost all we’ve been doing the past few months,” she pointed out, jerking her thumb at Kaidan. “So unless you got a new girlfriend an’ wanna enlighten me, there won’t be much else to talk about...”
“You didn’t have any downtime?” Gabe prodded, shaking his head in silent answer to her half-joking needling. “No time for fun shit on the Normandy?”
“Talking, card games, playin’ with my omnitool...” Lisa shrugged. “The usual in-between missions shit.”
“You and that omnitool,” Gabe teased.
This time she did kick him under the table. “Hey, you’re the one who gave it to me.” She smiled sweetly. “Thanks for picking a model that plays nice with upgrades and tweaks.”
“I created a monster,” he lamented theatrically, and moved his leg when she went to kick him again. “What about you, Kaidan, you do anything different than my favorite tech nerd, or do you have roughly the same idea of fun?”
The server came back with their drinks and assurance the food would only be a few more minutes.
“You have a favorite when it comes to cards?” Gabe asked as he took a drink.
Kaidan shrugged and shook his head. “Anything’s fun. I guess if you made me pick, probably poker.”
Gabe’s eyes lit up and he leaned forward, “Tell me you cleaned her out,” he said, leveling a finger at Lisa. “Please.”
Kaidan grinned and held up two fingers. “Twice.”
“Excellent.”
“Hey!” Lisa protested, fighting a grin.
“Your reign of terror needed to end, Lise,” Gabe returned. “You’re just lucky it wasn’t me.”
She snorted. “Like that would ever happen.”
“That’s hurtful,” he grinned.
“Gabe. I love you like a brother, and you’re very good at many things,” Lisa said with a matching grin, “but poker isn’t one of them.”
“I can help you work on that if you want,” Kaidan offered, ignoring the ‘Traitor!’ look Lisa sent him.
“And I might take you up on that,” Gabe said, smirking at her. Clearly he had caught the ‘Traitor!’ look.
“I’m feeling ganged-up on,” Lisa groused, still grinning.
Kaidan took pity on her and changed the subject as the server reappeared with their food. Gabe--still smirking--played along. It came out in the ensuing conversation they rooted for the same hockey team, though Kaidan was decidedly less... intense about it, and it was not Lisa’s team of choice.
There was no overlap in movie genre preference between the three of them, which turned into a spirited, good-natured debate that consumed almost a whole hour before Kaidan steered them to a different topic. Lisa gave his shoulder a grateful nudge for that; it was one thing to get stuck in sibling-loggerheads with Gabe when they were sprawled on the couch just shooting the shit. This was different.
All told, it took them almost four hours of friendly conversation--and frequent teasing--to start winding down. Lisa had a sneaking suspicion if she wasn’t the Savior of the Citadel they would have been asked to leave much earlier. The cafe was very busy, despite the damage surrounding it. She made sure to leave the server a large tip when she paid.
Kaidan and Gabe where shaking hands farewell when she rejoined them, Gabe just finishing a comment she didn’t catch that had Kaidan nodding with a small smile.
“Good to know,” he said, darting a glance at her. “And, again, good to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Gabe said, clapping him on the shoulder before he turned to hug Lisa. “Glad I got to see you, Lise.”
“You, too,” she replied, returning the hug with matching fervor. (He still gave the best hugs) “Hopefully we can get together again before going our separate ways, but for now, Alenko an’ I have a meeting to get to.”
“I’ll make sure to bug ya about that,” Gabe promised with a wink.
“I’m sure you will,” Lisa grinned. “See ya round.”
They headed off in their respective directions, and Lisa barely waited until they were safely out of earshot to ask, “What’s good to know?”
“Huh?” Kaidan shot her a bemused look.
“What Gabe said,” she clarified. “Or is that some guy thing I don’t actually wanna know?”
“Oh.” He smiled sheepishly. “Quoting him: Not to pry, but I think you’ll be good for her.”
Lisa huffed and twisted around as if she could glare at Gabe’s back, but he was already lost to view. “He- part of me wants to smack him for meddling in my love life.”
Kaidan hit the elevator call button, a curious smile just tugging at his lips. “And the rest of you?”
The laugh underlying his words nearly undid her. Lisa winked. “The rest of me agrees with him, so I’ll let it slide for now.” She arched a brow at him. “After all, we gotta figure out my love life b’fore I can get mad at him for meddlin’ in it, huh?”
Kaidan chuckled and let her step into the elevator first when it arrived. “Looking forward to it, Shepard. But lets focus on the meeting for now and us later.”
“Right. Later.” She bit her lip to hold back the flutter in her chest at his tone.
They rode in warm silence, hands so close their knuckles brushed, but neither said a word.
hey! just curious if you know - do the blue wraith graphic novels create a “canon” world-state (ie. they mention the hero, champion, inquisitor or their choices) or do they leave that mostly vauge? i know some of the earlier comics had alistair in them - but in my origins he died so i just didn’t feel like reading them because i felt like it conflicted with that lol
Hello! This became a bit long so I put it under a cut.
So in a general sense: the first 2 novels are an integral part of all canon. Because they’re set before the events of DAO, they’re a part of the world’s history/backstory in all possible worldstates. The same is the case for Last Flight, as it’s set way back in history, so these 3 are like prequels.
Then more broadly speaking, all of the rest of the novels (including TN) and the Dark Horse comics are canon material, in the sense that they follow the ‘novels and comics worldstate’ that BioWare chose to set them in, or chose to have them set in. (The ‘novels and comics worldstate’ is technically a different thing to the in-game ‘default choices worldstate’. The ‘default choices worldstate’ is the one you get if you don’t import saves in earlier games or don’t use the Keep in DAI. The ‘default’ settings were kept as basic/minimal as possible for the purpose of simplicity/accessibility, because the devs didn’t want new players being confused by those returning characters that are optional/quantum who they had never met before, or by complex ongoing plots that they had no existing investment in the resolution of. It’s designed to be as clean a slate as possible. So in that world, the HoF died stopping the Blight, Kieran doesn’t exist in any form, etc. The ‘default’ worldstate doesn’t affect anything outside of it, so it doesn’t affect the ‘novels and comics worldstate’ or custom player worldstates.)
Back to the ‘novels and comics worldstate’: DG has said that for the non-prequel novels and comics, if a player’s choices line up with the events in those stories, those events unfolded as-shown and future games will reflect this. He then explained that if a player’s choices don’t line up, then the events unfolded in a different way somehow or simply didn’t at all in some cases. As an example, it’s easy enough to imagine Warden Alistair embarking on the same quest/plotline to find his father as King Alistair does in the comics, just as a Warden instead of a reigning monarch. Or in Asunder, if the HoF never recruited certain partymembers during the Blight, to imagine them still showing up somehow and just omitting the parts where they referenced meeting and/or being with the HoF (kinda like Garrus showing up to be recruited anyway in ME2 even if you didn’t recruit him in ME1).
For the ‘Inquisition-era’ comics specifically (I think of these as the ones written by Greg Rucka, so Magekiller, and the ones written by Christina Weir & Nunzio DeFilippis, so Knight Errant, Deception, Blue Wraith and the upcoming Dark Fortress), it feels like the same ‘novels and comics worldstate’ as the earlier-era comics, as in them Alistair is King*. In terms of your question there are a few specific things, but it’s left mostly vague and they don’t like name/gender/class or mention the race or LIs of the PCs or anything. A few choices are depicted though - for example (hope these aren’t too much of a spoiler, trying to balance answering with not spoiling comic storybeats!), some of the optional Inquisition partymembers either make an appearance in an Inquisition-related context or from a particular detail in the comics clearly exist as Inquisition members, so the Inquisitor in this worldstate obviously chose to recruit [X] and [Y] and then to not send them away/kill them etc. Off the top of my head there’s also a place where one outcome of a minor DAI sidequest-type thing (like ‘war table operation & generic NPC models’-minor) is assumed, so the Inquisitor in this worldstate obviously chose to pursue that particular outcome of that sidequest. Also an optional DA2 partymember shows up (other than Fenris himself I mean), so Hawke probably chose to recruit them in this world.
Since Blue Wraith specifically focuses a lot on Fenris, by necessity in the ‘novels and comics worldstate’ Hawke clearly recruited and then didn’t kill Fenris. Fenris in these comics could have been both unromanced or romanced however, as while he’s not written specifically as if he and Hawke were together, he’s written without any reference to romance, so either scenario is feasible. Friendship/Rivalry also feels like it could be either or. As for the events in Kirkwall in DA2, they’re not specifically referenced. For the big one - the mages vs Templars choice - although Fenris is written as if he fought in defense of the mages with Hawke and friends at the end of the game, the story is still designed to work if Hawke sided with the templars too. iirc the comic writers found that writing Fenris in a Templar-siding Hawke worldstate would make his comic role not work for people who sided with the mages, whereas writing him in a sort-of mage-siding-Hawke worldstate allowed both paths to hold up:
We never reference what specifically happened in Kirkwall. But his interactions with mages are not characterized by wanting them all dead. This is a Fenris who hates the [Tevinter] mageocracy and is wary of those who seek too much power via magic. And he loathes slavers and has been killing them.
So if your Fenris sided with mages, he will fit here. If your Fenris sided with Templars, he’ll still work - but his rage is focused on slavers to allow both versions to work.
We found that writing him as if he sided with the Templars would break anyone’s Fenris who didn’t, but writing him this way allowed both paths to work. At least, that was our plan - you’ll decide if we pulled it off to your satisfaction. [source]
So tl;dr you may not feel like reading them if in your DA2 Fenris died, as that scenario is contradicted by the comics, is what I’d say. Other than that and the things described in this post they don’t mention or specify the HoF, Champion, Inquisitor and they mostly don’t mention or specify their choices. I feel like it’s been left mostly vague, and as vague as it can be. ymmv in terms of execution, I like it a lot but acknowledge it’s something subjective.
Basically, the DA comics are considered canon as far as they match up with an individual player’s worldstate. In Queen Anora universes, the events unfold similarly yet tweaked a bit in such a way as to allow for Queen Anora. And if “[x] dead char” turns up in a comic, we can safely assume that the events unfold in a similar way sans said character or not at all, fit- and Word of God-source depending. (I personally tend to assume in the dead char scenarios that the events unfolded anyway in a similar manner rather than not at all, despite what DG said that time, as it’s what makes most sense to me in terms of making the parts of the world ‘line up’ in my mind).
Btw, if you’re interested in reading Blue Wraith, I recommend to check out Magekiller, Knight Errant and Deception first if you feel inclined, as there’s an overarching story in this set of comics that’s kind of like one bigger serialized tale that develops throughout.
Hope this ramble helps some and doesn’t make it worse somehow lol :)
[* Alistair’s role in the ‘Inquisition-era’ comics is minor for the record, in case the idea of them being King Alistair-centric would put you off them, they’re not King Alistair-focused at all]
Since I finished ME: LE on Wednesday, the plot bunnies in my head have been hard at work regarding my Rajhi Shepard. Her canon romance is still going to be with Sam, but I’ve got a couple AU ideas here regarding Rajhi with some other love interests that I think some of you might enjoy. :)
The Bodyguard AU (Female Shepard/Tevos because I love rare pairings)
(This is an AU where the Reapers never existed and the Geth War never began.)
Rajhi Shepard was the famed war hero of the Skyllian Blitz, a proud N7 graduate, and a loyal marine for over a decade when she felt the winds of change overtake her, especially in the wake of her father’s death years earlier. Given an honorable discharge, she soon went into the private security industry, wanting to do more good on a personal level. To the surprise of Alliance brass, several notable marines left with her along with some who also worked in black ops.
In the years since her departure, Shepard’s team has since become one of the leading security companies south of the Attican Traverse thanks to the combined military experience of the members within it. Although largely a human organization, Shepard offered her services to anyone who was interested in them, and while some were skeptical of the claim, no one could deny the results she could achieve.
On one occasion, Shepard had been able to save the heiress to House T’Soni from an assassination attempt, which resulted in a tense stand-off that lasted for several hours. Although the assassins had breached their defenses, the tight-knit connection Shepard had built with her team along with their military precision led to them ultimately turning the situation against their enemies, forcing them into a retreat, where they could then be taken out one by one. The incident had earned her admirable acclaim across Thessia and various asari colonies thanks to the public words of gratitude offered by Matriarchs Benezia and Aethyta.
In a separate incident, she had also prevented the abduction of Admiral Tali’zorah vas Rannoch, who was on the Citadel for an ambassadorial visit, and for reasons that no one could comprehend, Shepard also seemed to be on a first-name basis with Clan Urdnot’s leaders on Tuchanka.
While Councilor Tevos was aware of the woman’s impressive accomplishments and connections, she never expected their social circles to ever cross until they happened to meet on Illium, where she had to attend to personal business there. As the colony sat at the edge of the Terminus system and was infamous for the latent danger lurking beneath its beauty, there was always the possibility of trouble arising no matter one social’s status.
Tevos ran into complications when the complementary security detail offered to her on arrival was decimated in a surprise attack launched by a mercenary group on the embassy building she was in. No ransom demands were given, and no chance for negotiation was offered. They merely wanted her on behalf of their client, but before anything else could be done, Shepard and her team had arrived to subdue them.
Thankful for her intervention, Tevos extended a contract to Shepard’s company as her personal security team for the next year. Over that time, they both became closer while dealing with murderous schemes by a rival asari house, Tevos’ political rivals across Thessia and the Citadel, and her mother’s constant badgering regarding her lackluster love life...
Of the Feelings Never Told (Female Shepard/Tali)
(This AU is more Tali-centric and begins with her brief reunion with Shepard at Freedom’s Progress in ME2 and continues throughout the events of ME3 along with some post-game content. There will be occasional flashbacks to ME1 though.)
When she had first met Shepard, Tali thought she was incredibly imposing despite her initial gratitude from being saved from Fist’s lackeys. With the woman’s height, she’d almost been convinced Shepard had the height to match a Geth Prime along with the build to match. But then Shepard had smiled so warmly at her as she accepted her help against Saren and welcomed her aboard the Normandy. Such kindness had been a rarity on her pilgrimage, and Tali had wondered why she ever thought Shepard was so intimidating.
Shepard was endlessly playful, and while there was an accompanying sweetness to her as well, Tali saw how often it was taken advantage of, especially as the weight of the galaxy pressed her to do the impossible again and again. Tali had watched as she stood alone for so long against government agencies that refused to heed her warnings or help those most in need of their protection.
It was odd, given that Shepard was such a compelling figure---one who could draw anyone into the gravity of her charm. As such, Tali knew she could have her pick of anyone in the galaxy. Wistfully, she had even watched Shepard slip away with the Citadel’s revered Consort once upon a time in appreciation of a task well-tended to. Although her heart continued to long for her, Tali otherwise accepted that things would never change between them. Thus, she had been content to merely watch her from afar, helping however she could.
She had spent so much time watching Shepard that she was startled to see familiar golden eyes staring back at her one day.
Distance Won’t Make Me Forget You (Female Shepard/Sam)
Sam had met Shepard years ago before the incident with Saren although the other woman had never introduced herself as the hero the Skyllian Blitz or even given her surname. She had merely wandered into Sam’s bar---her night job at university---and introduced herself as Raj before spending the entire evening flirting with her in between drinks. It was intensely flattering, given how attractive the woman was, and Sam was left blushing underneath such attention.
When Raj came back the following evening and had chosen to nurse non-alcoholic drinks while keeping her company at the bar, Sam knew she was likely planning something and was even hopeful for it. When Raj invited her back to her hotel at the end of her shift, Sam was quick to accept it.
What followed was a momentous occasion, and as far as one-night stands went, it was easily the best she ever had. It was supposed to be a chance meeting---perhaps a once in a lifetime opportunity---since she knew Raj was an Alliance marine on shore leave, who was set to leave soon. They’d likely never see each other again, but she’d enjoyed what time they had.
Sam still hadn’t known who she truly was until the vids showed Raj’s face years later as the news reported the destruction of the ship led by the famed human Spectre.
Commander Rajhi Shepard.
As she saw those honey-brown eyes flashing across the screen along that rakish grin, Sam could only remember her cup slipping from her hands to shatter across the floor as she slowly fell to her knees, feeling as though a cold hand had gripped her heart.
Sam knew it was foolish to be upset over a woman she had only known in passing, but she had felt Rajhi’s loss all the same. She had always seemed larger than life with a soul too vibrant and determined to fall to the likes of death, but if anything, it had proven death didn’t discriminate.
There was little more to do but move on with her life, and so she continued on with her work as a communications specialist with an Alliance R&D lab, but she had grown homesick enough to want to visit her parents back on Horizon.
Sam arrived just in time for the Collectors to attack.
Although she had been fortunate enough not to be taken by the enemy, Sam had been surprised to know that Shepard was also there on the colony only hours before according to Delan, one of the local mechanics who met up with her. It was thanks to her that even half the colony had been saved, but despite that, Delan continued to curse Shepard’s name and that of the Alliance, saying that neither had done nearly enough to save everyone. While sighing quietly at his tirade, Sam couldn’t help but marvel at the chances of a fated meeting that she had only barely missed.
Following the Collector attack, she returned to Earth and spent several months on medical leave from her experience on Horizon before being allowed to return to light duty. Eventually, she was assigned to the team in charge of retrofitting the Normandy SR-2 once Shepard surrendered it and herself into Alliance custody.
After the sudden takeoff from Earth with the initial Reaper attack, Sam prepared to go and introduce herself to her new CO since she was likely to be aboard the ship for awhile. She hadn’t expected Rajhi to remember her at all, given that they had met almost a decade ago, but as that tired gaze turned toward her, she saw that dark head slowly tilt itself as familiar amber eyes blinked in surprise.
“Sam?”
The Supernatural and College Life AU (Female Shepard/Sam)
(This is based off an old fic idea I never posted, but I thought it might work for this pairing.)
With ever advancing technology and the advent of social media, the supernatural community found it a tad more difficult to stay out of the public eye. They made do as best as they could, however, managing to serve in various occupations alongside their human counterparts. While little mishaps did occur, they were quickly swept under the rug by an internal organization.
Still, things don’t always remain a secret forever.
Sam found herself accidentally caught in the supernatural world when she left her job at the bar one night. On her way back to her dorm to get some well-deserved sleep, she found one of the largest dogs she’d ever seen sitting in the middle of her path, tail wagging happily, as if it had been waiting solely for her.
---
As usual, give me a like, comment, inbox message, or a DM if you like any of the ideas listed above, and I’ll see if I can work these into rotation and expand on them a bit more like I’ve already done for some of my DA AUs! If nothing else, I can probably give you a snippet of a scene regarding them. Lol. Until next time, dear readers! Take care!
Give us 500-1000 words of a new concept you'd like to write. Post a summary & then the blurb under the cut. Tag your friends for their ideas and feedback!
Summary: Remember back in ME1 when Wrex told us about Aleena? Well, what about a fic based around the pair of them.
As Wrex left the compound, he massaged his neck to try and remove the knot beneath his skin. The day shouldn’t have been this exciting, and he was caught off guard. He chuffed. The opposite of what he should have been doing- guarding. The boss was okay if a bit shook up at seeing his colleague’s head depart his shoulders.
He should have expected something. There was a bounty on the human. Hell, he could have taken him out ten times by now if not for the handsome salary the volus paid.
The air outside was cold and still as the sun was long gone from the sky and left the planet chilly and dark. Being so late meant the streets were empty as he began to walk toward the station. He didn’t see many people, and those he did gave him a wide berth. No one seemed to want to piss off a krogan- not that he blamed them. Wrex knew he made an imposing figure. It was part of his charm. He grinned.
“Something funny?”
Wrex stopped and turned toward the woman’s voice. An asari stepped out of a skycar, dressed head to toe in black. The door slammed with a thunk. “What’s it to you?”
He knew her. Aleena. They met once before, a few years back.
She smirked at him as she pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her jacket pocket. The streetlights shaded her face, so when the lighter flickered, he noticed her face hadn’t changed since they last saw one another. At least, not nearly as much as he had.
“Come now, Wrex. Is that any way to greet an old friend?” she took a drag and blew the smoke out of her nose as she slipped the lighter back into her pocket.
“Friend?”
Aleena leaned back against the skycar, and she crossed one ankle over the other. “I heard you had a bad day. So I figured I’d offer my support.”
He couldn’t stop his eyes widening at her insinuation, and her smirk told him she saw his surprise. Damn, she was like a varren with a pyjack in its jaws. “How so?”
“There’s a diner around the corner,” she said, flicking the ash off her cigarette. “Join me?”
Wrex narrowed his eyes as he considered it. Aleena killed his client’s partner earlier. So it wouldn’t exactly do to be seen with her. But then again, she could have taken Chen out first if she’d wanted to. He shrugged in acquiescence. “Figured you’d be more the bar type.”
“I’ve spent enough time in bars.”
He chuckled. “Fair enough.”
As he got into the passenger’s seat, the train rushed by on the tracks above them. He’d have missed it regardless of Aleena’s interference. Had she followed him and known? It didn’t matter, not really. He made his decision already and would deal with whatever came of it.
She crushed the remains of her cigarette beneath her heeled boot before she got into the driver’s seat. The car came alive with a subtle purr, and they were off before Wrex could dwell. He didn’t spend much time in two-seaters. He was used to the back of limousines and public transport, so it felt a little strange to sit up front like this. It wasn’t that he couldn’t afford a car. He’d just never needed one in a permanent sense. Next week, he might be across the planet for all he knew. “Nice ride.”
“Mhm.”
Wrex shook his head. Two could play the silent game. He watched her drive instead, enjoying the way her hands confidently slid across the controls and how fast she liked to accelerate. They didn’t listen to music, but there was no time for it regardless. Soon, Aleena pulled them into a small lot in front of a diner as promised.
She got out first, and he followed. A bell on the door rang as they entered the nearly deserted building. A woman behind the counter told them to grab a table, and they did far from the other patrons in a red vinyl booth across from one another. Wrex settled into the seat and rubbed at the knot in his neck again as he observed Aleena. She let him sit facing the door, which he found a little unusual for an assassin.
Aleena flung her arm over the booth’s back and crossed an ankle over the opposite knee beneath the table. How someone could look so much like they owned the place was anyone’s guess. Although, perhaps she did. He hadn’t seen the woman in years, and what did he know about her in the first place- that she was a damn good shot.
In the brighter lighting, he could see the bulge of a pistol under her left arm. It didn’t surprise him. His piece was on his hip, more visible than hers but no less deadly.
“So-” Before he could get any further, the waitress appeared. She offered menus, but Wrex waved her off. “Do you have burgers?”
“Of course, hun, fries?”
He nodded. “That’s fine. And a coffee.”
“Black coffee for me,” Aleena said when the waitress dragged her tired eyes off Wrex. Then, when offered food, she shook her head. “Just the coffee.”
Wrex watched the woman walk away, and when he turned back to Aleena, he found her inspecting her nails and looking utterly disinterested in the whole affair. “Why offer to go to a diner if you’re not going to eat?”
She dropped her hand to the table and tapped her nails against the smooth surface. “You hadn’t eaten.”
“Been watching me?”
A shrug. “More incidentally than intentionally. It’s been a long time, Wrex.”
Her “wisdom surpasses everyone”, no one can rebutt Little Dragon Maiden! (laughs)
Found this compilation clip of 《神鵰俠侶 The Condor Heroes 95》 aka, 《Return of the Condor Heroes》 (1995). The times Little Dragon Maiden (小龍女) left everyone at a loss for words over her…life philosophies! (laughs)
Subs in video are in Standard Chinese and Simplified, transcript I did below is based on Spoken Cantonese and typed in Traditional characters. I played it by ear, so things may not be 100% accurate, Jyutping may also be off.
Although I've only known her for less than one day, Granny Syun has been so good to me, treated me like family and even died because of me! You tell me, how can I not cry for her?
Hey, Aunt! I've been here two days, and all I've had is that honey to sustain me! Not a grain of rice, nor half a piece of meat have I had in my belly! I'm a “rice-bucket”! At this rate, it'd be useless even if you give me ginseng (for nourishment) every day!
It's not that we don't eat, there's rice, but since Granny Syun passed away, there's no one to cook it that's all.
楊過:啊?!
Joeng4 Gwo3:aa2?!
What?!
(pity it was clipped off here for the follow-up was just as funny: 楊過 was aghast 小龍女 didn't tell him about the rice earlier for she may not be able to cook, but he can! (≧▽≦))
Miss Lung, this Tomb of the Living Dead of yours is already so boring with nothing to play with, and we still have to avoid daylight! Living here, if I'm not starved to death, I'll be bored to death!
Wow! If you can't be happy through eating and playing, then how else can you be happy? Don't tell me you've never laughed even once in your life so far!
Very funny! Even if you don't let me leave, I can just wait till you die and go back outside by myself! Because you're older than me, you'll definitely die earlier!
I promised Granny Syun before that I'll look after you for life, if I don't kill you now, after I die, how can I face her (in the Underworld)? If I don't kill you now, tell me who will look after you after I die?
Aunt, I…I…I beg of you, don't kill your Gwo-ji*! Aunt!
*兒 (ji4) is just a suffix of endearment attached to his given name 過 (Gwo3), usually reserved for very young kids and between familails. It might not look like it in this adaptation, since the ages were upped to fit the actors better, but in the novel, 楊過 joined 小龍女 when he was around 11, so calling him *兒* would seem more appropriate.
Okay forget it, forget it! I know you're not in a good mood now! How about this, we've shared a roof for one night after all, how about you tell me your name?
Hahahaha! A youngling like her, how can she be fit to be Chieftain of Martial Artists? Unless, if she can receive/withstand my Golden Wheel! Only then will I recognize her as Chieftain of Martial Artists!
TechGagets Review - DigitalLife ME1 USB Boundary Microphone 2022
Having a reliable audio tool is important, especially if you're a student or an employee. Since you will be attending meetings, calls, and video conferences often, you can't just resort to relying on your laptop's built-in microphone. Not only will it ensure sound quality, but it will also be more convenient and functional if ever you're in a somewhat noisy environment.
This is where DigitalLife ME1 USB Boundary Microphone comes in. It's one of the top microphones you should consider if you're keen on upgrading your current audio setup. We'll walk you through everything you need to know about the said product in this article.
About DigitalLife ME1
DigitalLife ME1 was first released by DigitalLife in October 2021. It comes as a USB boundary microphone running on omnidirectional technology. This means that the sound receptors cover 360 and are not limited to just one side. Because of this, you can expect to be able to participate in meetings and conferences more comfortably.
To add, the device also ensures a notable audio performance through its 16-bit digital resolution, which is just enough to get and record the voices surrounding the device.
As for the design, the ME1 has a metal body. It is durable enough to withstand light shocks and falls. Similarly, the microphone has just the right size to be considered portable. Its dimensions come to only 9 by 9 by 4cm, while its weight totals 200mg. You can freely bring this to your school, office, or working space. This also makes it easy to transfer from place to place.
Overall, the DigitalLife ME1 will be perfect if you're a video content creator who needs to provide high-quality audio to your viewers, a student who needs to attend online classes and make audio-based reports regularly, or an employee required to make and present reports for the team.
DigitalLife ME1: Specifications and Features
For a better overview of what you can get from DigitalLife ME1, here is a list of the product's specifications and features:
Specifications
For the specifications, refer to the following:
Device Dimensions (Without Cable): 9 by 9 by 4cm
Device Weight (Without Batteries): 220g
Connection Type: USB Cable
USB Cable Length: 100cm
Compatibility: Windows, Mac
Digital Resolution: 16-bit
Audio Coverage: 3 meters maximum with 360 sound coverage
Impedance: 600 Ohms/120V/1-3 Watts (Unbalanced)
Frequency Range: 100 Hz to 16,000 Hz
Sound Sensitivity: 42dB
Signal-to-Noise: 60dB
Stereo Jack: 3.5mm
These specs are already ideal for basic to medium-advanced tasks. It will be enough to easily capture voice and separate background noise because of its high signal-to-noise ratio.
If you're worried about having a 16-bit digital resolution, rest assured that it already comes with great sound capacity. There will be no use in looking for a 32-bit, especially if you're only sticking to the earlier purposes. Moving on, here are the features that you can expect from the ME1:
Control Buttons
You can easily see the device's control buttons on the microphone's top housing. It is equipped with three main buttons: the Volume control, Audio button, and a Microphone button. For the volume control, it comes in a traditional volume wheel. You can easily navigate it depending on how you want your current audio to be.
The audio button is reserved if you want to turn your audio on or off. It's in a touchscreen-like layout. The microphone button, on the other hand, is just like the former, except that this turns your microphone on or off.
It's actually convenient that there are two separate functions for audio and microphone since meetings usually don't start immediately. Unlike other brands with an all-or-nothing function, the ME1 gives you full control over your microphone.
Headphone Compatibility
The DigitalLife ME1 comes with a 3.5mm jack. If you want to switch between having a boundary and a wearable microphone, you can easily do so by plugging in your preferred headphone. No specific model is indicated regarding compatibility, so it's safe to say that you can work with anything that has a 3.5mm jack.
Wide Compatibility
The microphone is compatible with desktop processing systems like Mac and Windows (7 up to the present). It will also work well with Ubuntu, which is less common but is still an advantage.
Similarly, the microphone itself is compatible with both USB-A and USB-C. This will be easy even if you need to change the cable type since it's removable from the unit.
How to Use the DigitalLife ME1 USB Boundary Microphone
youtube
The DigitalLife ME1 works through a plug-and-play system. It's very to use, and probably the only thing you need to do is take the unit out of the box. All of the succeeding steps are clear from there. Even so, here are the steps that you need to follow:
• Plug in the included USB cable on both the microphone's USB jack and your PC. An LED indicator will light up for you to know that the connection is successful.
• Turn on the button for the microphone sound and audio, if required.
• Check the volume to see if it's to your liking.
• Start using the microphone for meetings.
If you want to test the audio, just turn to any video-based app. You can also consider plugging in your headphones if you plan on using them for your conferences.
Why Should You Buy DigitalLife ME1?
As you can see, the ME1 USB Boundary Microphone comes with a lot of pros. Below are some of the specific reasons why you should buy the product:
• Offers a more convenient yet still high-quality way of collecting audio from your side. • Easy to use the microphone since you won't need to install any additional software or drive platforms. • Comes with a number of ideal specs despite the relatively more budget-friendly price in the microphone market.
Honestly, the only con you may notice from the DigitalLife ME1 is its lack of a speaker. This isn't that big of a deal, though, if you're on a budget and your only priority lies on having a reliable audio receptor.
Summary
DigitalLife ME1 is a boundary microphone that you can easily use for your audio-related needs. Unlike wearable microphones, you only need to place this on a surface, and it will automatically collect nearby voices. It can even support up to a 3-meter distance.
The best thing about this is you don't have to be highly knowledgeable about technology just to use it. There's no need for additional installations and configurations. Since it has a USB connector, just plug it in your desktop, and you're good to go.
Summary: Nothing like dark biotic lunch to let you reflect on how shitty your love life is. Alistair’s got plenty to reflect on as he broods away with his jar of sour sugar - correction, homemade pixie sticks. Unfortunately for him, he’s about to add another one to his lack-of-body count. Man just can’t catch a break...
(Setting: Pre ME1)
---
02:00 Space time. It was the perfect time for stuffing your face with much needed carbs to keep the biotic system functioning.
“Don’t even think of turning that light on, my eyes are killing me.”
Alistair’s hand moved away from the switch and back to his favorite form of shoving carbs into his system – a mix of sugar, citric acid, and green food coloring that made up his version of pixie sticks. It was all the flavor, without having to deal with the stupid paper wrapper that got everywhere. Next to him, his sister was punching the buttons on the microwave. Inside, the family sized bag of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets was waiting to get spun around and nuked to edible temperatures.
“I wasn’t going to; my head hurts too.” He massaged the back of his neck, fingers brushing against his still-warm amp. He had used it a bit too much the day before, but at least it had cooled some. Hours earlier, it had been burning hot. Maybe the headache was the result of that, or maybe it was the ship’s pressurization. Either way, no lights were fine by him.
Besides, lights might have made someone else on the Normandy realize they were there. The last thing he needed was to talk to someone other than Bo right then.
“Good. If I have to deal with Jenkins asking me to test my biotics on him again, I’m going to scream. He should just go bother Alenko for that…” Bo trailed off, one red eye meeting him across the kitchen. “Unless you’re interested in giving it a shot.”
The thought caused him to snort as he dug in the drawer for a suitable spoon. Most people liked tablespoons, but they usually had bigger mouths than him. It would take a little longer, but a teaspoon fit his smaller hands perfectly. Maybe someone in the crew would joke about that, but they were smart enough not to do it to his face. What they did behind his back, he didn’t care. He didn’t have to hear it, and that was good enough for him.
“Already tried that, actually. He doesn’t like how I do it.” A spoonful of sugar soon found its way into his mouth and the sour taste did wonders for his headache. “You should’ve heard him complain when I didn’t toss him full force. I swear, Jenkins has a death wish or something.”
Bo snorted as she watched her nuggets go for a ride in the radiation machine. “He’d get it with me, there are no safety stops on the murder machine. Maybe it’s for the best if he gets his ride from Alenko. After he breaks something, he can go to you or Chakwas to get it fixed. Maybe you should just standby, it’ll give you plenty of chances to talk to him.”
The thought made Alistair cringe as he looked down at his jar of sugar. “Yeah… about that… maybe it’s for the best if I don’t go around Kaidan for a while.”
Memories from the prior week still played in his mind whenever he got the chance to close his eyes – it was like the universe wanted to remind him how stupid it had been. He could still see the look on his fellow biotic’s face and see the change in his eyes. It had just been a simple request – to hang out on their next shore leave, maybe grab dinner.
The dinner idea had made the man ask if he was asking him out. Naturally, Alistair was shit at lying, so he’d had to come out with the truth. Yes, it had been a soft way of asking Kaidan out on a date. And… well, it hadn’t ended well. Kaidan had been nice about it, and he appreciated that, but in the end, it was a politely given no. The offer was still up to hang out as friends, but… honestly, he wasn’t sure if he could do it right then. Just looking at the man made him embarrassed now, even if he respected that no.
He should’ve been used to being turned down, but it still hurt a little. He’d probably be over it in a few weeks, maybe less if they got busy with the next location they were heading towards. Alistair just had to hang in until then.
“Oh, so I don’t have to be nice to him anymore. Great. He’s been annoying the hell out of me.” The microwave dinged and the sound of plastic tearing signified the beginning of the carnage of all breaded dinosaur kind. “Fuck him.”
Alistair chuckled softly as he went for another mouthful of sugar. “He has a right to say no, Bo.”
“And I have the right to judge his shitty taste.” A tyrannosaurus lost its head to Bo’s incisors as she took her bag to the table. At least she was sitting down this time. Since she was, he joined her with his jar of what was basically sour sugar, spoon still in hand.
Well, he couldn’t talk her out of that. He knew better. Hopefully, it would be a quick couple of weeks.
For a few moments, they ate in silence. With every spoonful of sugar, Alistair felt his headache ache a little less. It was probably just a placebo effect to bootleg pixie sticks, but he was going to take anything he could get right then. Another spoonful it was – at least his CGM would be happy for once.
Thanks to that, he could hear the sounds of the Normandy around him. They were still settling into the new ship, so he was getting used to all the noises it made. Right now, they were shooting through FTL, so the engines hummed along as they kept everything steady. It was a low rhythm he found himself sinking into as he took another spoon of his snack. He might not have been on the ship for long, but he got the feeling he’d like it.
How could he not? The Normandy was kind of sexy…
“I can hear you sexualizing the ship from here, Al.”
Bo snickered as he turned away, cheeks growing warm in the dark. Instead of saying anything, he just took another mouthful of sugar. That was a point lost to him in the endless game they played. He was behind, and probably always would be. She was just too good at getting to him. Really, she was the best example of a little sister anyone could think of. It was honestly scary sometimes.
You think being a former younger sister he’d have the same power, but apparently not. Fuck that.
“You and your ship fetish. Better get in line, I think Joker’s in first place.” The next victim was a triceratops, missing its tail due to the company’s processing blades. Oh well, it was missing other things soon enough. “Well, either him or that weird turian who’s been skulking around. What’s his name again? He’s been all over the lower decks lately, I think it’s pissing engineering off.”
Nilhus. Nilhus Kryik.
Just thinking about him made Alistair’s face feel hot. He sought comfort in his sugar, trying not to think too hard about the man. They hadn’t really talked much, but from what he saw… well, would it be too much to say he liked what he was seeing?
Probably… shit. He was no good at this crush thing.
“I think he’s just… checking things out. I don’t know, it’s weird having a Spectre onboard. I’m not even sure where he’s sleeping…” He licked his spoon thoughtfully. “I mean, the Normandy was also designed by turians, so there has to be a spot somewhere comfortable for them. I would need to check the specs…”
Bo was giving him that look again as she dug for more dinosaurs. “Trying to find a good makeout spot, huh? You’re not subtle, Al.”
No… no he wasn’t. And that’s what got him in trouble.
What also got him in trouble was sitting in the dark apparently. All too suddenly, the lights flicked on, temporarily blinding him as pain rushed to the front of his head. Alistair hissed and dropped his spoon, hearing it clatter to the floor below. Next to him, he could hear Bo doing the same thing, only she didn’t drop her nuggets. Only a direct enemy attack could cause that to happen.
“Damn it, turn the fucking light off!”
“I didn’t know anyone was in here.” The light flicked off, returning them to darkness. “I thought humans ate with the lights on.”
The smooth, translated voice made Alistair sit up a little straighter. A dull panic wormed its way into his stomach as he managed to open his eyes and look over his shoulder. There was a turian standing in the entrance to the kitchen, talons still on the light switch.
Wasn’t it just his luck that Nihlus was a night person?
“Dark biotic lunch runs by different rules.” Bo’s tone was just asking for a fight as she reached down to grab his spoon. “Doubt there’s anything in here you can eat anyway.”
Nilhus moved towards the fridge, the very picture of a man on a mission. “I stored some energy rations in here when I arrived on ship.”
He met Alistair’s gaze, then those eyes moved towards the jar on the table. “Is… that a jar of sugar?”
Well… if you wanted to get technical…
Alistair got up from the table in order to wash his spoon, avoiding Nihlus’ gaze. “It’s my recipe for pixie sticks… there’s not enough in the little tubes for me and it saves on packaging.”
“Pixie… sticks.”
Yep, that was a tone that told him to forget any sort of crush he’d had on the man – he was officially in the fucking weird category for life. All he could hope for was that it didn’t affect their working relationship, whatever the turian was doing on their ship.
What was he doing there anyway? Nobody was exactly clear about that…
“I’d say don’t knock it until you try it, but I don’t think there’s a dextro safe version.” Clean spoon in hand, Alistair returned to the table. “Er… enjoy your energy rations? Don’t exactly think that’s possible though…”
His voice trailed off as Nihlus left with his snack without another word. As soon as he was gone, his forehead found the table with a light thump. That was not going to do wonders for his headache to say the least, but he didn’t care then.
Strike three, you’re out.
“Don’t sweat it, you’re too good for him. What kind of asshole looks down his… shit, he doesn’t have a nose does he…” Bo was lost in thought for a moment as she munched on her nuggets. “Anyway, fuck him.”
Well, he wasn’t going to be doing that…
“The correct term would probably be face plates, but it doesn’t sound as good.”
“Damn aliens and their lack of anatomy we can use for insults.” His sister nudged his jar closer. “Best way to get over a shitty crush is food, so you might as well eat up.”
That it was. Alistair sighed as he sat up, taking advantage of his clean spoon in order to get another mouthful. At this rate, he was just going to be single until he died. Maybe that was for the best – it helped keep him focused on missions.
But damn, did the universe have to keep teasing him with hot guys he had no chance with?
Oh well, at least he had his jar of homemade pixie stick formula for those long nights when he was up brooding over his lack of a love life. At least that would never let him down. So, another mouthful it was, there in the dark of the kitchen with his sister.
On the bright side, at least Eden Prime should be a nice place to go… it sounded decent enough. Maybe it would take his mind off things.
9, 26, 27, 29, 14, 12 :) <3 and a rose for Kodelyn as well 🌹
So I don't actually know whether you wanted me to answer these questions from the mass effect list or the tumblr headcanon list (since I reblogged them in pretty quick succession). So we're doing all of them because I got bored. Thank you Bry!!
9: What squad member do you bring along the most?
Kaidan. I'd say "that's too easy of an answer!" but he's so versatile! Biotic abilities! Tech abilities! The two things I'm always in need of. There's not a single situation I regret bringing him to game-wise. Take him everywhere in 1, agonize about not having him around in 2, take him everywhere in 3. Except for when I thought him, Liara and my weakling of a infiltrator could take the Luna mission. They could not. Not nearly as easily or without as many deaths as I thought they could.
12: Favorite non-combatant?
Probably Anderson! I love his character, will never not be sad about the ending to three because of it. I just think they did his character really well throughout the trilogy.
Or Chakwas. I love Chakwas a lot because of her personality. She screams space aunt to me.
14: Who did your most recent Shepard romance?
Ceres was the last Shepard I played through ME1 with back in July, so Liara! Honestly I was just curious, I'm slowly working through all the options (though unfortunately, don't have anyone lined up for Thane yet). Not sure about how I like them together just yet.
26: Who do you wish was available as a romance option?
Joker. If you had any idea what my bookmark list looked liked...
27: How many Shepards do you have?
Counting technically Daphne? Nine. Probably too many because I haven't actually written anything with the "B Team" (Nia, Danny, Ceres and AJ) just yet.
29: If you primarily play Paragon or Renegade, is there a dialogue/interrupt/action of the opposite alignment you always take?
Yes! I always choose the renegade option for the Batarian recruiter in ME2. That and the one on Thane's mission to push one of the mercs out of the window. And the one at the end of three.
-
9. Makeup?
I think at some point Koda's hands get a little too shaky to apply it correctly herself. It wasn't that big of a deal, after all it'd just take a little longer, but more often than not she'd sweat it off. Typically would go with anything subtle, eyeliner, dark red lipstick and maybe a little concealer for the smaller scars.
12. Favorite book genre?
Romance, as well as anything escapist. The fluffier and more ridiculous, the better. However, she is still a terrible flirt. Rectifying that is not high on her list of priorities. Kaidan still loves her all the same.
14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)
Just one, since I haven't completely ironed them all out yet. Pre-Lazarus resurrection, Kodelyn had some nerve damage from Elysium and other missions that caused her hands and feet to go numb sometimes. It wasn't severe enough to hinder her work, just annoying enough to bother her, and she tended to wear compression gloves. Post-Lazarus, Miranda had managed to mitigate most of it, but she is still subject to tingling extremities every now and then.
26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?
I'm paraphrasing from an earlier conversation with a mutual, but her and Kaidan settle down in Vancouver after the war. She pretty much skirts around the Councilor position offered to her afterwards, and mostly just...gets a chance to enjoy life with her boyfriend. Visits to the Orchard, visits home to her family, she learns to swim eventually. She's pretty much the "cool" aunt to Esme.
(And honestly, her only aunt.)
27. What is their biggest regret?
I think it's tied between Virmire (knowing she should've been able to save Ashley, and let her personal ties blind her) and Jump Zero (knowing she should've said or done something to prevent what happened to her sister). Koda hates losing people, and she struggles with accepting the fact that sometimes it happens, and there's nothing she can do about it -- no matter how controlling she gets.
29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)
Control. Koda wants to control the situation right off the bat. Where is everyone, how can she get them out as quickly and as safely as possible? Then comes gathering everything important, she'll retrieve those things herself. She prefers things to fall to her in the event of a disaster, and make them manageable. It stresses her out though, but if she doesn't have direct control over anything, it also stresses her out. There's no win-win situation here.