#since I'm the only person in those tags

[lenievi]

spones - older fics recs

seeing that people are interested in older fics, let me link some more that are not on ao3 but on personal websites (sometimes the formatting is a bit... you’d better just copy it into some text editor in order to read it comfortably) and that were written prior to 2010, but mostly in early 2000s. It’s not all of them (of course), I’m just linking those I at some point in the past three years enjoyed and that are long-ish. They can be a bit dated and sometimes a bit weird. Most of them are mature to explicit. If you want more warnings, you can message me.

Diagnosis and Treatment of Ply's Disease (explicit-ish at the end) - it deals with a disease, obviously, so proceed with caution if it isn’t something you want to read. Mention of McCoy/OC(m)

The Prayer of St. Francis (E) - I haven’t actually read this one, but one day I want to. The summary is “the triumvirate as we know them”, but it’s spones flavoured. And it’s spones who are bonded. It spans the series up to Spock’s death.

The author’s page in case you wanna read other fics by them.

Nets in the Wind - mirror!spones, has Sybok, set after Spock kills Kirk, in case you mind. It’s a bit open ended.

The World Bewitched - mirror!spones, interesting world building imho

The Other One (E) - “After the encounter with the Mirror universe, both men have some problems they have to deal with.” (I actually don’t remember this one, but I have it saved... but don’t judge me if it’s weird; read the author’s notes) sequel Sugar Magnolia. These were written in 1998.

On Vulcan genomic engineering and love - this one though is a bit weird (proceed with an open mind), but the premise is quite interesting - McCoy becomes a half-Vulcan (I think this was actually the only fic I’ve read with that theme). “Spock has wanted for a long time to become fully Vulcan and finally devices a formula to allow him to manipulate his genetic structure to do just that. But in a freak accident, he injects McCoy with the formula, causing the Doctor to become half-Vulcan. Now with pon farr on Spock's heels, he must help the doctor learn to deal with his Vulcan half, while the two of them both try to live with their feelings for each other.” some hints at McCoy/Vulcan OC(m)

My Little Town - takes place after TUC, I’m personally very fond of this one for some reason. It has a completely different background for McCoy than what’s common. “McCoy’s mother just died, and McCoy goes to deal with the house. Spock tags along.” McCoy’s parents had a huge age gap, so if you’re bothered by it, maybe don’t read it.

stories by Tempest - Blackbird has trans!McCoy, Yon t'Ashaya - McCoy and Spock both serve on a Vulcan ship, Spock goes into pon farr [these two fics are what stuck with me after reading them three years ago, but the author has a lot more]

now you can also go through this list, but a lot of the links are broken, some can be accessed through wayback machine, some can’t.

and then you can also look through the Spiced Peaches list, which has fics from 2005 and up. Just in case you’ve never heard of the online spones zine.

---

also a bonus tos!mirror!mckirk because why not. It’s a wip, unfortunately, but it’s still worth it because it’s tos!mckirk~ And like most other mirror verse fics on this list, it isn’t as dark as what’s written these days. It’s actually pretty tame. It’s by the same author as The World Bewitched and Nets in the Wind above.

The Getting or the Having & Dust - “In the Mirror-Universe Kirk finds out that his counterpart has a sexual relationship with McCoy. This makes him thinking things over.”

#spones #fic rec #idk if this post will also circulate but here it is anyway for those who'd want to read some spones fics written pre-2010 #these are only my personal selection - just don't judge me too much lol #i'm also gonna tag #mckirk #for that one link at the bottom #funnily enough some of these - if they were written now - i wouldn't read because they include some stuff i avoid - but since they're old #i make an exception #it's fun seeing what used to be written

[waterfallofspace]

For the first time in a while, I had myself a snz dream~

Sadly wasn't completely focused on the snz, but it was starring D/azai (feat. C/huuya as a supporting role) and man... I'm gonna be replaying it for days in my mind... >//<

All the surrounding details aren't important but... let's just say D/azai chose to be tied to a suspect, and have his loyal assistant C/huuya (who did not care for that title) place the cat in his lap, D/azai's eyes watering within seconds.

The results were... itchy <3 and through some wonderful ~dream logic~, each time D/azai let another powerful, desperate, itchy sneeze out, the chains he'd tied himself to the suspect with would pull tight, and the suspect would find himself crashing into D/azai, powers being stripped each time (something that, in this dream world, was highly unpleasant)

A lot of it was fairly dream logic-oriented, so the plot itself doesn't make a ton of sense, but the image of a hitching, smirking, sneezy D/azai, with an eye-rolling, cursing, but slightly concerned C/huuya... yeah that's gonna be on repeat for awhile~

#waterfalltalks #waterfalldreams #that's now a tag- i dont know if I'll have many to share but I'm gonna share this one #I just... they were SO well voiced you guys like- that was literally a key moment in the dream #where even in my subconcious i recognized “wow- those are well voiced. i wonder if he was REALLY sn--zing??” #why did i censor snz when i didnt in the post? no idea i got self conscious i think #since its so dream logicy i probably wont attempt to fic or wav it or anything #but i am gonna share it just incase anyone wants! #my dreams are always SO intricate and vivid so this was a chapter in what must have been like a 20 chapter dream #but it's still the ONLY one i care to replay and will be replaying for dayyysssss #i also usually find myself watching my dreams either AS one of the characters (not myself) #or just a third person spectator point of view (like this one) so in the dream i didnt react but #ohhhhh i definitely have thoughts now that im out of it <3

[girls-and-honey]

.

#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages #me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my #pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones #idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when #everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that #and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for #this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100% #myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too #and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for #networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and #then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first? #which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else #anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me #i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so) #oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like #alright that's it for now i think #gah emotions and whatnot #missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon #personal

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[dragon-tamer-1]

I want to be able to reblog people's art without having to worry about people's negative reactions when it's someone that a majority of people don't like, is that so much to ask?

Why must it be a problem if I like someone's art even if the person believes in something others don't? Why must people treat people like they're bad for liking someone's art and writing when others don't like that person because of their beliefs?

I'm just hanging out and reblogging art and writing that I find enjoyable. In the end that's just what I'm doing when I reblog stuff. Enjoying it. If it's something I don't enjoy/like to see, I just block the tag or, if it's a specific blog that I decided that I didn't enjoy and don't want to see I block that blog as well. Otherwise just vibing. I don't hate anyone that doesn't like someone else of course, but the way people talk about that one person, it's like they think it's the worst possible thing for someone to enjoy that person's art and writing. I just can't hate someone based on that person's beliefs, it just goes against my own personal beliefs, and I can't help that I still enjoy those things.

I try to keep the drama and stuff off my blog cause I'm not about that. And it shouldn't be treated like some kind of crime to still enjoy someone's art/writing/etc just because other people don't like that person, in my opinion.

#vent post #i only feel this way cause someone on anon asked why i still follow a certain person cause i reblogged that person's post updating their fic #and i think it's weird that if people don't like that person. then just don't like that person #i just enjoy the art and writing #i only see hate going to that person yet that person has never spread hate for anyone to anyone #i just want to reblog stuff without it becoming this big thing of drama #discourse tw #stop spreading hate and just move on #at this point it just seems like toxic behavior (not attacking anyone. just how it feels to me) #like i said you can freely dislike someone #its just that it seems controlling when you want others to think like you do and dislike who you dislike and congorm to your own beliefs #I'm just here to enjoy art and writing #regardless of who it's from #unless that person has legitimately hurt people #just block certain tags and the person you dislike and move on #i don't think anyone is bad for liking or disliking people for their own reasons and personal beliefs #i also just cant hate someone for their own beliefs. especially since they're not hurting anyone with those beliefs #sorry for the down mood #this whole thing is just tiring for me and i just want to enjoy the things i like without being all “man people are going to dislike me - #just because i still like the art/writing of someone that everyone around me dislikes. i just want to enjoy stuff why must it be such #a controversial thing to just like something “ #can't we all just agree to disagree instead of being mean to someone who likes something /someone you don't? #liking and reblogging stuff that doesn't have any harmful stuff in it can't hurt anyone #i wish this stuff didn't make me feel as stressed as i did #I'll be fine #i just want to enjoy the art and stories that i came to love by the people who made them #regardless of their beliefs #cause i think that just because someone believes something doesn't make them a bad person for believing that

[dandyshucks]

blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭 #and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!! #''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/ #''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍 #I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ???? #what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly. #vent // #SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it) #(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl) #delete later #dandyshucks

[loppiopio]

the chances of the people seeing this aren't super likely so this is highly inefficient but i'm too afraid to approach people personally…. yet i've been burning with the need to express my gratitude for the tags i've received individually somehow and figured, i could do it the way i do best. in the tags 😅

(sorted by most recent) (i capped the limit hard here) (some ✂️✂️ had to be done 😔) (i still like this format a lot though) (might do this again in the future idk would people like that??) (i hope it's not mortifying for anyone……..)

it's sorta the way i like it, indirect and unimposing, even if it's kinda. wieldy. but it's just on my blog so anything goes right? although in saying that, i am open to being imposed on. like if someone wants to talk about aci or something, like other fic?? i'm a big fic fiend. or anything else lol not sure what else you'd wanna chat about since so much of the stuff i've put out is just. about fic. but hey, if you're a person i don't mind being approached :>

(lol the way i've made this like a *throws out a bunch of paper slips* find your's 🎉) (might be obnoxious hm) (sorry...) (find your's if you want though 🫡)

#i said a thing #@glaciesdraco i'm so glad someone is appreciating the brilliance of my shitpost yes i went so hard on that and it's you too?? #i enjoy your ramblings and hcs a lot (if that one gift art based on your hcs wasn't telling) i hope my indirect appreciation can reach you #two years ago for a gift exchange i had [get them drunk] as one of the things on my wishlist and linked your post with it because they're < #@miyukiwynter your tag was fun and cute it made me smile :) oh no the boy! #@spooky-sordid your enthusiasm for the 🥥 post despite zero context is so fun to me i'm happy my niche things connect with you like that :] #@scrambledshizaya oops! all aci posts with even more on the way sorry it's all i got #the energy of your tags is very fun though i hope to bring a little pain with the 📸⚠️ comp and loverboy cringe is so izaya indeed #@gay-deer your all caps enthusiasm is so so sweet to me thank you for loving them!! also you bring fun things to my dash so thanks for that #@vi-138 you haven't said anything so i hope you don't mind.... i've seen you in my notifs a few times and i'm appreciating it very much :> #@fweamy i like your energy and omg you like the way i draw them?? no wayyy i'm so flattered you like my portrayal of them? that's such high #this makes me feel better about my style like actually since i spend a looooot a lotta time on every little thing so it can appeal to me #and i'm not confident at all but i do try very hard to achieve aspects of how i like to see them so i'm glad it seems to resonate with you #i draw all too slowly but you shall be in my thoughts as i fight to deliver more of these scrunkly scrimbos 🫡 #@zamtik you think it's awesome? :0 wow thanks! also thanks for appreciating the 🎀🔪 i made that not a lot of people acknowledge heh #@gay4and2high i like that you acknowledged the content of the fic i love the content of this fic i need to acknowledge it so bad 🗣️ #@stupidusernamepolicy idk if you meant for your words to read like this but i'm still so so flattered by the tags you left on that post 🥺🥺 #idk what you actually think of the fic so i can literally only imagine your enthusiasm for it but i think i feel some of it in those tags 🧠 #and you seem to really like the post in particular so?? thank you c: #@whamss no way are you sure you love my art?? thank you i'm glad you find them cute and see so much personality in them too?? #you pointed out shizuo in particular !! yesss i slaved away soooo tirelessly on him (except i was very tired) i'm glad he is appreciated #his face... it needed to convey so much...... sad puppy dog look #the humouring of izaya's antics that soften him in light bemusement “mouth slightly open probably as close to a smile as it would ever get” #and thank you for enjoying loverboy cringe with me he is exactly that #@soultiio thank youuu i appreciate this sorta connection we have going on where we communicate through tags a little <3 #i like the comments your affection for the boys is very sweet thank you #@pennyloni thanks for the obligatory shizaya reblog #@pineapplething hihi!!! #@demon-of-ikebukuro i take joy in all the appreciation for the comm :> also you have a fic i'd like to try someday bc it looks interesting! #@churroful you haven't said much since but thanks for finding the 🎀🔪 sexy >:D i appreciate you in my notifs and i hope you enjoyed aci!!

[marinsawakening]

[Timmy Turner voice] I wish every Links Meet AU that uses Marin as a phantom to haunt and traumatize Link goes to hell no matter what

#No I am not vaguing any specific links meet au bc ive already seen four different ones that do this #Fun Fact! You can give ALTTP!Link different character conflict! #That doesn't butcher the themes and ending of one of the games! #And reduce a female character and arguably LOZ's first complex character to a flat source for man angst #Marin would murder Link if she found out he was remembering her and Koholint in trauma and tragedy #Rather than treasuring its memory and celebrating its existence #GENUINELY framing Link as wildly traumatized by the events of Link's Awakening the way so many ppl do #Completely destroys all thematic coherence in the game's ending and makes it wildly unsatisfying #Yes Koholint disappearing was sad. No Link did not kill an island no it would not haunt him like a ghost #It's a treasured memory and a net positive experience! I have OPINIONS on this and I'm CORRECT #And I'm calling out Links Meet AUs specifically bc those are the biggest offenders #Of stripping everyone else of depth and focus for the sake of white boy Link #If ur lucky then Zelda still has character depth but everyone else* is shit out of luck basically #*Exceptions apply ofc #Lots of stuff that's not links meet aus also interprets Marin in ways I don't personally like #I am picky #Some of which I'd argue are just. Bad. #But at least they often make an effort with her character #Links Meet AUs are the Link Only Show tho and I'm ANNOYED bc I WANT TO LIKE THEM #I AM A SUCKER FOR MULTIVERSE SHIT. U DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS PAINS ME #Anyway. L + ratio + you did not consider the thematic implications of ur fanproject and it annoys me :( #My posts #Loz #Link's awakening #update when i first made this post i was genuinely not intending to single out any specific links meet aus #however i have since crunched the numbers and two thirds of the marin tag on ao3 is linked universe #and i would like to make it clear. i have no real issue with the actual comic or its portrayal of marin #mostly bc marin has not actually appeared or been addressed in the actual comic at all #however i do hope the linked universe FANDOM goes to hell no matter what

[akagamiko]

thinking agian about how shanks wanted to see roger cry and that he tells luffy he should cry but that shanks himself takes after roger in that regard and won't cry in front of people !!!

#was about to go to bed but saw the emotions thing and started spiraling into my shanks thoughts #the boyish want of needing to see your dad figure/mentor/hero/favorite person show those emotions #because shanks was such a cry baby as a kid but thinking about how he didn't see roger cry and started internalizing it !!! #and wanting to see roger cry because he cried when he was sad or frustrated or angry or ANYTHING AT ALL #but then he grew up and learned the weight that's carried as a captain and #...probably understood roger a lot better #because you want to be seen as put together of course but you also don't want to worry your crew #they look to him for comfort so he doesn't feel like he CAN boohoo all the time (unless he's being totally silly) #even though his crew would be totally fine with him crying and would simply love on him !!! #but him still wanting luffy to cry #wanting him to know that it's okay to cry !!! #YELLLLLS #he wants luffy to be so much better than he is in literally every way #like his crying is definitely a private thing when it happens #beck probably being the only one #maybe yasopp and roux too since those are all his fellas <3 #i'm fine #once again i am saying roger really did a number on him lmao #(intentionally or not sorry roger) #<3 #now i'm going to bed fr #OOC. #honestly this half belongs in the hc tag even if it's a mess of me rambling sorry #HEADCANON.

[tj-crochets]

I am once again in insurance hell, getting to the point where I’m going to say fuck it to company provided insurance and get my own like I used to, because it turns out the company insurance won’t cover my maintenance inhaler! The thing I need to use to breathe! Going into pollen season!!!!  I hate everything about this and the inhaler is $250 for a supply that lasts between 2 weeks and month.* *I got the pharmacy discount coupon, I talked to my insurance company, I got the form the doctor would need to fill out, but as I learned a few weeks ago with my rescue inhaler my primary doctor will not answer phone calls and will not fill out forms even if I hand deliver them to her office. The insurance person said I could have my cardiologist fill out the form, so I’m trying that, and if it doesn’t work this time I’m going to try to get different insurance. Also complain to HR because this would be a SECOND service that they are advertising as a bonus for employees and spending a lot of money on that absolutely no one is benefitting from I’m not looking for advice, this post is just half to vent, half as a warning I won’t be crafting much today because I am so stressed I am almost definitely going to have to take a benadryl. Having stress as a mast cell degranulation trigger sucks. 

#the person behind the yarn #medical mention #tj is in insurance hell #that will be my tag for this #swearing #tagging for it only because my posts are like 90% cute stuffed animal posts and I'm aware swearing bothers some people #I'm willing to not swear around those people IRL but this is my tumblr #so tagging is the middle ground? in that I will still swear sometimes but I will tag it in case people want to blacklist it #like I tag other common triggers #well. Idk if swearing is a common trigger but it's one for one for my grandma #idk I am all over the place right now just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #my breathing is behind a paywall and it infuriates me #I only took this damn job for the insurance and the insurance is good for absolutely fucking nothing #my copay every time I go to the doctor is THREE TIMES HIGHER than it was on my old insurance #and it WON'T COVER MY FUCKING MEDICATION #it didn't cover my holter monitor!!!! #I have had a fucking cardiologist since I was 18 years old and my insurance won't cover a fucking heart monitor for my chronic tachycardia?? #are there any circumstances where they would cover a heart monitor??? what the fuck do they expect people to do???????????

[dan-crimes]

I always forget how much time I invested in my Inanimate Insanity interest until I go and look back and holy shit I drew how much shit constantly???

#the amount of art that I have for Inanimate Insanity is no match for literally anything else I've drawn ever #all human versions tho cuz I draw. humans. #rn it's happening with Sonic too like I just like to draw things as humans. the opposite of a furry as one would call me #tbf tho the Sonic guys are like cartoon-y enough animals that I still enjoy drawing them normally #Inanimate Insanity tho like those guys are objects but tbf I do enjoy drawing objects #but I prefer humans much more personally #plus I like figuring out a balance between like Real People and okay well they are a little different they have colourful hair and like #a bit off human biology where like idk their hair is a big more liquid vs normal hair #but I mean they are still basically Humans just a bit more ~magical~ in order to fit some of the story beats in the show #same goes with Sonic characters like Sonic has gotta be super fast and like I'm figuring out how Tails could. Tails. I dunno like #hair that is slightly more? alive? having control over his hair? cuz humans don't have tails so would Tails having ONE tail make him #Tail? instead of Tails? plus it would be a Human tail vs a fox tail unless I bend the rules more #tho tbf I prefere the hair thing since like you wouldn't even see a human tail with clothes in unless specifically tailored for that #idk what the Shadow lore will be honestly cuz like I GOTTA MENTION THIS AGAIN. I LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE PERSONAL INFO ON THIS STUFF #like I have not seen basically ANYTHING from the games only people TALKING abt it SOMEWHAT so I got no idea what is happening most the time #ANYWAYYYY if this shows up in the tags I'll delete Tumblr.com (this is a joke) (I just don't like attention)

[chqnified]

I want to leave this place

#I'm sick of living with them #the favouritism had always been clear but it's clearly getting more obvious #fuck those 2. #I'm tired of it. #i do one tiny thing wrong and I'm a villain or a bitch. yet he can fucking swear and cuss him out. threaten him.all is forgetten a daylater #and my brother has so much self entitlement. just like his dad lmao. #i barely talk to my brother anymore. don't think I've properly spoken to him since that specific day back in autumn #but that was all apparently partially my fault. i should've stepped away and not retaliated when i was threatened #fucking threaten to beat me or do try and I'll give you something to remember. #I'm not going to shut up like i did as a kid. because the only person who ever got hurt then was me #at least you'll come out with as many broken bones as me. #this shit makes me so fucking angry. #is it that difficult to treat people with respect? #i go to fucking work and nobody bloody listens to shit i say. I'm at home and it's the same shit. #and the only reason anyone at college listens to me is after flipping out on the lot of them for the exact same reason #you shouldn't have to scare people for respect #vent #Charlie tag

[thetriangletattoo]

what is it about showers and solving every problem you had during your teenage years

#i need to start showering with music otherwise my mind will just go 'hey remember this thing that happened ten years ago' #ahah wouldn't it be funny ahah solving it now??? ahah #like no??? leave me alone #I haven't talked to those people in years nor do i feel the need to talk to them again #in my defense i think the conversation i had with my friend the other day started this train of thoughts #this guy i used to know when i was 15 or smt back in my hometown opened this bar #and like if you're there and you want to go out somewhere you can only go to a bar bc there's nothing else #and i was telling my friend that that's the only new bar in town I haven't checked out yet and probably never will #bc shit went down with the group me and this guy were in back then #and I haven't talked to any of them since then #and honestly I'd like to go there and sit at a table and be like hi #but i also cannot remember in what terms we left things like how ugly it was #bc my brain does this funny thing where it erases stuff #survival instinct much? #love treating this blog like my personal diary #sorry i make you read my stupid tags #oversharing all the way #also that whole group? insane! i surely did something i shouldn't have done but it surely didn't start from me #I'm so glad adolescence is just a phase jfc

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

me vibrating about albert meta while having my second coffee of the day, to the tune of shots: thoughts, thoughts, thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts

#rusty lake tag #albert vanderboom #i have been pondering this orb since the backend of 2020 and SO MUCH has finally clicked into place and i'm just #MOTORCYCLE REVVING NOISES #[nicholas voice] i need........ to post........... #one of the most fundamental roots (badum tss) of his motivation for all the evil shit that he does is desperately wanting to be a father #from a young age #and paradoxically this includes his sadistic hatred of most of the children in his life #i feel like people tend to kind of gloss over both his trauma and his behavior with 'okay yes he had a bad childhood but also he reacted to #it the way he did because he's just EVIL and there's no excusing it' #'you're only allowed to examine how his trauma led to the things he did as an explanation but NOT as sympathetic' #and i feel like that's reductive for a lot of reasons; and one of those is that it erases the idea that the person who did the Inexcusable #Thing might be reacting in some reasonable and understandable ways at the heart of it; might in fact be acting on /admirable qualities/ #under other circumstances #.......and how those things interact with not just their external situation; but their /nastier/ qualities #how those can turn inside out and become Jesus Christ Dude Holy Shit #and form the foundations for /more/ nasty qualities #and how the reverse might happen instead #even the best of us has some real ugly traits & #impulses to hold ourselves accountable for; & to keep from becoming a foundation for worse #how do you find those. how do you pay attention to them #how do you recognize the opportunities; no matter how small; to take a step back down the chain and work your way toward the perspective #that you may have lost in order to recognize bigger wakeup calls when you see them #what do you do when you've been airdropped into the wilderness a hundred miles away from that perspective from the start #and have to fight your way back to it #especially when you've been set on your feet facing in the exact opposite direction; and told to get a move on #and find water shelter and food while you still have daylight #how do you know that that place of perspective there in the first place; how do you that you should find it #albert is such a good character for this. he is SUCH a good character for this. #and it's both easier & i suspect less uncomfortable to just leave it at 'okay he had a bad childhood but EVILBAD STINKMAN NO EXCUSES

[master-k0hga]

| X E N A |

[ Category: The Promised Land ]

| Finally got around to finishing her like just over a week ago if I remember correctly.. To which I DON'T!!... But yeah, this is Xena, of course the concept of Karmen having some involvement in her creation/repairs is still there and ofc why wouldn't I do that and why wouldn't I make that one of the main reasons why both her and Karmen WOULD get together jhjhhjhjhjh,,,,

But yeah- Most about Xena is still roughly the same, she's created completely of machinations, Karmen's heavy involvement with her that does become like an 8 or so year project which takes Karmen to at least the age of 25 or so once Xena is officially done. But the difference is that she was actually, although a "incomplete waste of metal", she was an official assassin bot created by the Deceitful before they found someone "better" to take that position.. So Xena was disassembled, dumped and left to rot before Karmen found her one day and decided to take her in and fix her up!

.. Anyways I'll re-type what I wrote in her ref sheet in case nobody can read it, my writing is well tiny and off when I do these and it sucks but oh well:

Info

Age is unknown; Not that the Deceit had any plans to consider her family or whatever

Created by the Deceit to assassinate their targets (or should I say Kira's targets who he p much has beef with)

Gets discarded by the Deceit after they found a replacement to act upon their deeds (of course with a price); After some time being disowned by them Karmen eventually comes into her life, takes her into the small tribe (with mixed opinions rightfully so for a time) and has her fixed up along with a couple other members of the tribe to help with the complete refix

Originally she was just a bot with no personality or anything unique about them before Karmen; Because of the girl's expertise in becoming a mechanic, with lots of different kinds of materials, metals and whatnot Xena was given a face of her own, a personality and eventually even her own freedom to think, speak and do what she can and wishes to do

After some time when she finally becomes her own person, she suddenly becomes both attached and overly protective of Karmen, as Asim is to Caligo; Safe to say Xena had scanned and downloaded data and emotion from the one she considers to be an "inspiration" for protecting loved ones

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

That's the basics of Xena and a bit extra also slight detail to what I've already established in her ref (and I will ignore the minor spelling error or "Assassin" in said bio til I eventually fix that, ofc that'll be done and dusted by the time I post this ref along with the art spam but this is just here in case I DON'T do that... Which is more likely than you think...)

There's not really all that much to say about her other than the usual, she was kinda how she was back in my now scrapped "Kohga Arc" AU where I introduced her to, just only difference is now she's part of her own thing at this point... So just having her here and have her purpose is sort of just there to aid and protect this small branch of Fae (and their mixing with other tribes in this branch, especially since after Asim and Caligo's story)... Anyways-

Extra(s):

Although having been completely refixed with the help of Karmen and her knowledge of technology for such a secluded tribe of magic bearers, Xena within her repaired state does still contain the "decor" of the Deceit, especially that mainly inspires from Kira's signature purples and golds

It was quite the scare for Caligo when Karmen brought this badly dismembered bot that was created by their oppressors, so in no surprise Caligo heavily detested, protested and so on to get that "killer machine" out of the safety of the tribe of the "Sights of the Future", seeing as this same bot (while also being a test run at the time before being discarded) was used in the events of the "Purge of the Defiance" where Caligo and Katsumi's father was killed along with others, friends and family alike of the secluded tribe before they narrowly escaped death. It did take some time persuading and calming them, but eventually Caligo accepts and embraces Xena into their family, especially some time after Karmen completely repurposes her and everything

Xena has no recollection of the previous murders and killings she had committed after her "reboot", so in a sense she's completely new and only has her eyes, wiring and new purpose on protecting Karmen's family, and the future of the Promised Land. However although she is no longer of use to the Deceit after they abandoned her, it seems she still has data imbedded deep in her coding that is still very vital for the Deceit to carry out their plans

Xena isn't just a bot who eventually falls for her saviour, she also has some pretty nifty mechanics and abilities that are built into her metal body; She's got rather super human strength which when it comes to physical tasks that involve heavy lifting are very beneficial, in the palms of her hands she has a mechanic where she is able to shoot from her hands, it's even better seeing as the projectiles she shoots (which are like beams of energy) adapt to whatever climate they're in, and her speed in immeasurable as she can outrun even the fastest

She has her own compendium; Able to take pictures of wildlife, discoveries and so on.. They mostly consists of Karmen, dragonflies and mushrooms however

Her original design she never had hair, it was thanks to Karmen for "spicing up her personality" for donating her own hair to the cause of "Project Xena". Perfectly dyed to match the "Sights of the Future" tribe

Asim appreciates Xena for volunteering to protect his daughter from threats, and especially knowing her presence is putting Caligo's mind at ease reassures Xena quite a lot; Karmen overall has a deep fascination with the "metallic protector" and is heavily implying she is crushing on her a LOT

💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙 🤍 💙

And that's all I have for Xena for now I suppose, there's not really much else to say or explain further so for now this is all there'll be for her til I either think of more to talk about or when I finally get on with trying to properly adapt this mystical realm.

Overall even though her past is unfortunate as she was built to kill on demand by the oppressing yet oppressed group to take down their enemies, her new purpose definitely redeems her and brings a form of hope to "Sights of the Future", and no doubt their little tribe is in very good hands with not only witch blood to cast magic and spells of protection around them, but also with a skilled dual blade who will some day take over the role as leader, and also a former assassin bot who is now re-purposed to protect them and their families at all costs!

.... It's kinda nice, now this is a found family trope I can get behind! lol..

... I have so many more to get on with and I don't know how I'm not only gonna try making sure so that they all fit rather well in place, but also trynna find ways to make it so it actually works in a way... World building is hard, I'm too exhausted for this....

Oh well, nobody else has any idea about this and this isn't something anybody has I suppose done yet.. Someone's gotta do it!.....

Even if it is just a waste of time in the end...

. Xena, Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

#MASTER-K0HGA #Ary / Kohga Chronicles #Ary / Kohga OCs and Works #Xena #OC #Female #Fandomless #The Promised Land #Sights of the Future #My OC #My Art #My Character #Assassin Bot #A FORMER assassin bot if you will! lol #Not much else to tag this as other than the usual tags I refer to most of my original art so uh... #Yeah Idk hhghghghhgg #... Anyways... There's so much more to do... I'm nowhere near done at all! #Xena doesn't really have any association with Caligo's step siblings of other personal problems... But no doubt #It Yggdra was able to reunite with them one day.... He'd be weirded out kinda but happy Caligo's family is finding ways to keep themselves #Safe from harm... Especially from the Lord of the Deceitful!... Like... #Kira isn't wrong for feeling such angry towards the ''oppressors''.. Especially the old leaders of the Golden Kingdom since it WAS #kinda their fault... But he's using that anger and hatred to not only take it out on his own people.. But those who were not involved eithe #Harming the whole land isn't going to do him or anyone any good... But he seemed to always be the mischievous type.... So in other words.. #He really wanted to cause chaos in the Promised Land didn't he...?... Things were too peaceful... He needs chaos! #... Anyways that's enough out of me... He isn't some big hunky btw. Kira is actually kinda sleazy lol... But he's a threat don't be fooled!